#Foster care trauma

[ex-foster]

Reunification with birth parents for adult adoptees or foster kids can be upsetting due to various reasons. It may stir up complex emotions, including:

1. **Identity Confusion:** Reconnecting with birth parents can challenge the established sense of identity formed within adoptive or foster families, causing confusion.

2. **Unmet Expectations:** Expectations of a perfect or ideal reunion may clash with reality, leading to disappointment if the relationship falls short of anticipated emotional fulfillment.

3. **Past Trauma:** If the separation from birth parents was due to trauma or difficult circumstances, revisiting the past can resurface painful memories and emotions.

4. **Dual Loyalties:** Adult adoptees may feel torn between loyalty to their birth and adoptive families, struggling to balance and navigate complex relationships.

5. **Fear of Rejection:** There may be a fear of rejection or abandonment, especially if the reunion is initiated by the adoptee or foster child.

It's crucial to approach reunification with sensitivity, acknowledging the emotional complexities involved, and providing support for individuals navigating these challenging experiences.

[fosterwhat]

My home reopened for foster care last Friday, and a couple hours later a new kiddo was here.

We’ll call him Kai.

Kai is 3 years old. An emergency removal. He came dressed in girl’s clothing (I guess all the office had on hand). DCFS had grabbed one of their pre-packed bags — it had size 7/8 clothing. Girl leaning again. Kai is a peanut, he fits into size 18 month at age 3. So, you can imagine that size 7/8 was a no go.

I was told he was non-verbal and autistic, but he walked into my home said “hello, Mommy” and proceeded to talk my ear off for the next three days.

He declared our puppy “cute, but a little crazy,” which is honestly spot on. Though I will say my dog stayed so very patient, given that Kai hit him suddenly out of nowhere.

So much trauma, so many injuries that the child abuse doctors missed (drives me crazy, treating and documenting that is their only job).

I stressed to everyone who would listen that he is not autistic, that it’s just early childhood trauma, that there is so much potential there. (Autistic kids have tons of potential too, but a lot of people sadly find it harder to see, and if you’re not willing to accept an autistic child that’s sad but reality, and getting mislabeled helps no one). He reminded me of Felix, a lot. He was a lot. But also within days I had him on a routine and understanding basic rules. But he also likes to elope and screech and has never had any type of schedule. It’s hard to describe unless you’ve loved* it. Those of you who are foster parents probably know exactly what I mean. A three year old who fell through the cracks.

*this was supposed to say “lived” but autocorrected to love. And I’m leaving it, because maybe that’s what I really mean. That you don’t really get it, the combination of the hard and the potential, until you’ve loved a kid like that

[onceuponafosterkid]

I moved in with my foster parents when I was 15. I don’t live with them anymore, but my apartment is five minutes away from their house and I still see them all the time. I don’t always vocalize to my foster mom when I’m struggling because I know she has a house full of kids to worry about, and I don’t want to burden her. I swear she has this sixth sense though, because whenever I start spiraling it’s like she knows. If it’s been a few days since we’ve talked, she’ll call me and check on me, or invite me over for dinner. She’s even driven over here to pick me up to run errands with them and get lunch, just us. Sometimes I look through our texts and it’s impossible to not see how much she loves me, just from those texts. The other day I finally told her and my foster dad a little bit about what I’ve been struggling with, and they just listened to me vent, and they reassured me, and gave me advice. I’m not her blood, but she knows me better than anyone and I think that’s how she always knows, even without me telling her. I don’t know how she does it, but I’m so grateful for both of them. I know that no matter how messy my life gets, I can always come home to them, no questions asked. This is what foster care is supposed to be. I moved out almost three years ago, but they still save my seat at the dinner table. They don’t adopt kids, they never wanted us to feel like some of us were better than others, and they can’t take all of us. In the 39 years they’ve been foster parents, they’ve raised over 300 kids, but they make sure that I know I will always have a place in their lives. So when I think about what love looks like, that’s what I picture, them.

[kerryweaverlesbian]

Jack au where he's a psychic who can commune with ghosts. Almost every major character from Supernatural is a ghost. Including Sam Dean and Cas. This would serve these major tennants of his relationships:

Isolated. The people Jack spends the majority of his time with are NOT part of the normal world. Sam, Dean, Cas and Mary live in a bunker and don't know how to be people. The AU hunters are literally from another world. His mom is dead. Kaia is split between realms. The only Real people he knows well are his young adult nerd friends and arguably Harper. You don't want 1/4 of your tie to reality to be a witch who wants to be Cheryl Blossom from Riverdale as her life's aspiration. That's no way to live!

Intangible. Because of Jack's immense power, he is, in a sense, untouchable. He is stopped when people hug him or push him or shoot him because he chooses to stop. There is a veil between him and them. There is also a scarcity of common ground. There is nothing else out there like him. Dean might stomp and bark and howl but, ultimately, what can he do to Jack physically? Nothing. The only power the ghosts have is emotional and social. Imagine being outcasted by the ghosts who can only see you and each other. Ouch!

Fleeting. Everyone he cares for is doomed to die. This happens even before he's born with Cas and Kelly and Mary, but also throughout his life. He both has long strings of tragedy in short periods AND he's immortal and worries about it. Loss and loniness are inevitable for him on a massive scale. Cas might claim that he'll be there with him but he dies like twice a year at least. Picture ghost!Cas midway through a reassuring speech that he's always going to be there with him fading out into the veil mid-sentence.

Guilt-ridden. Life is wasted on the living, isn't it? Youth is wasted on the young. He's got dozens of ghosts needing him to live in the way they want him to so they can feel alive again, and he's not capable of being that (literal) lifeline. He needs to learn how to say no and stick to it. He needs to learn how to live with the fact that he has to disappoint people to live well sometimes. He has to engage with the living, because the dead are going to kill him if he hangs on to them too long.

So if someone could write this devestating yet beautiful 25k+ fic for me that'd be really swell.

[crumbleclub]

cannot get over the idea of michael having to explain anything traumatic that happened to him well after the fact and it's just. so clear he hasn't dealt with it at all. eyes downcast, voice shaking. he doesn't realize he's crying until somebody tells him.

it's like it's happening all over again.

[chasing-posts]

Foster care au.

In a world when Sakumo still commits suicide, but rather than letting Kakashi become a ninja instantly and have him raise himself and live alone at five years old (WHOSE ASININE IDEA WAS THIS-), he gets put in a foster care home.

And the person who volunteers as his foster, is Maito Dai. And he helps Kakashi work through his trauma while also ensuring the rivalry with his son Gai, stays healthy.

[katierosefun]

okay so now that i’ve officially finished watching leverage i just want to say that maybe i’m obsessed with this show on multiple levels and something about how it hits so many itches in that it’s about found family and it’s about fucking over bad, rich guys (no billionaire bootlicking in this show! and i fucking love it) and it’s also about how sometimes the bad guys are the only good guys you get and it’s also about how we are all stronger together it’s about how at the start of this show, we have all of these characters who are largely used to working alone and being alone and yet the show concludes that ultimately, we are better when we are together and by being together, we might be able to leave something behind that is bigger and brighter for the next people in our generation and no man is an island and no person is meant to beat goliath on their own or whatever

[eldritch-queern-magicat]

Dude fuck moral OCD, that shit is ruining my enjoyment of social media.

Random internet people thinking I'm a bad person just because I don't boost the shit I'm told to is not something I should worry about. Of course it's based on my prior religious experiences, though. First largely from the Pentecostals in foster hell, and then Nanny. The worst part of it is that it's also tied to appeals to faith. It's much harder to heal from when it's part of the religious trauma in the first place.

So now I have this awful knee-jerk reaction to requests to boost something in general. It's getting better with good faith requests, since I am working on my ability to discern based on evidence and trust others. But the more urgent the situation or request, the flightier I feel. And that's just the honest, good faith requests to boost something.

Honestly, the point of making this post is that I know this is a problem, but I'm working on it. It's really hard to retrain your mind as an adult to not see every single request as a life-or-death, moral demand. It got to a point where it frequently induced my avoidance of whatever it was about or wherever it was. It's absolutely miserable.

-Tate 🧃😺

[iamamythologicalcreature]

Baz-kitty update

(tangentially related to boop fest 2024)

(Yes there is a kitty pic in this ramble)

So Baz-kitty has been a little skittish when it comes to allowing me to touch her. (I've explained in previous posts/stories but quick refresher: I discovered that she's very sensitive and skittish and wants to be touched very gently. Hence Baz-kitty.)

I am trying to help her feel more comfortable and secure with being casually touched so she can accept regular human/kitty affection. Not only will that help her be more attractive to potential adopters, but I genuinely believe she craves affection and just needs to feel safe enough to receive it. (BAZ-KITTY ahem)

So one of the ways I'm gently encouraging soft touches is by resting a hand on her whenever she's comfortably within reach. For example, when she sleeps next to me on my bed I will carefully reach out and rest a hand on her tail, or one of her legs, and just let it rest there. (I don't try to ask for anything, cause she's not there, yet.)

This is very slow process, but I have seen progress. Over the months she has moved closer and closer to me and is now able to occasionally sleep right next to me.

This is a big deal. What makes this an even bigger, cooler deal is that today as I was surfing my Boop-meter (words I did not ever expect myself to say), she made herself comfortable next to me and did this.

(in case that's not clear, that's my arm.)

It only lasted for about ten minutes, but this return gesture is SO AMAZING. When I think about how far she's come over the past year, I am proud of both her and myself.

I love helping people. Cats are people, too. She is such a smart kitty, and deserves the very best forever home.

ANYHOO. How is this related to booping? LOOK IT. SHE BOOPED ME. 🧡🧡🧡

So in honor of Baz-kitty's positive strides towards being able to accept the affection her heart craves, please know that all future boops in my profile go directly to this sweet, aloof-but-in-need-of-secure-love feline version of Baz. XD

[ex-foster]

Girls and women from foster care, don't let liberal feminists tokenize you for the abortion debate.

[c-0-yote-teeth]

Can I just say I HATE how everything holds memories. Every fucking thing.

I just listened to New Perspective by p!atd for the first time since 2014.

In 2014 I was 14 and in foster care, in what was supposed to be a short-term group home, this 👌 fucking close to offing myself. I had lost everyone and everything because my mother was an addict and my family is religious, and I wanted to be myself and be honest with them.

I grew close with people that I never spoke to again. I screamed the lyrics to New Perspective in the car because there were so few songs that made me feel.

"Stop there, and let me correct it- I wanna live my life from a new perspective"

That was all I wanted. To be able to look at my life and not feel pity. Not feel broken. Not feel lost and abandoned and confused and

Alone.

Every friend I made was gone in a matter of weeks and meanwhile I stayed.

Eventually I stopped caring. Friends and I would skip school and speed over the bridge with our windows down, screaming-

"Stop there, and let me correct it, I want to live my life from a new perspective-"

Because they were broken too. Because we were broken together.

I have so much more to say but it's hard to put into words.

I hate how everything holds memories.

[fosterwhat]

We had parent/teacher conferences tonight and I continue to be concerned about Felix.

I thought he’d been doing okay the past few weeks but it turns out the school just hadn’t shared any of the incidents with me. There were two this week alone (it’s Wednesday). I have asked so many times for communication. Sent emails about it and had meetings about it. And I still get nothing. I’ve stressed that I need the information to work with his therapeutic team. That I need the info so I can back up the school at home and work to improve behaviors. Nothing. They don’t even bother telling me that he’s missed two hours of class, broken objects, self-harmed, etc. Do they think he’s going to tell me? I don’t get it.

And then I asked them if they were administering his as-needed medication when he’s dysregulated. They are not. The principal thinks it’s not necessary because “they can handle him”. Okay, but the medication is prescribed. And you may be comfortable with him missing hours of class time because he’s raging, but if you just gave the medication he would be missing 15 minutes of class, or maybe none at all. Frankly, I don’t care what you think you can handle, I care what my child can handle. I care what our family can handle. Don’t send home an exhausted irritated traumatized child because you refuse to give him a prescribed pill.

Add insult to injury and they are still not following his IEP. I have met with them three times this year. Every meeting they accuse him of lying. But I absolutely know he’s right, he’s not getting the IEP services, because if he was the above wouldn’t be happening to the degree it is. I know the term gaslighting is overused, but I think that��s where we are now. His school is gaslighting us, and it’s hurting everyone.

[onceuponafosterkid]

Every now and then I am reminded how hard it is being an adult foster youth. I’m only 21, I don’t know what the heck I’m doing. This week was really hard. I got sick on Monday while I was at work, but I have this fear of letting people down so I toughed it out. I got home and I had a fever of 103. I took some Tylenol but I can’t afford groceries right now so I don’t have any cold medicine or anything. I took Tuesday off of work thinking I needed a day to just recover. I mean, I’m working full time, taking three classes one of which is a two and half hour in person class twice a week after work so I thought maybe I was overdoing it right? But I’m pushing myself physically to avoid what’s going on mentally and yes I’m in therapy I know that’s not good but it’s what’s keeping me alive for right now. Anyway I go back to work on Wednesday but I have a cough and a headache and I just don’t feel great but I already took a day off I don’t want to make my boss mad. After work I take an at home Covid test my foster mom gave me and it’s negative, so I go to urgent care because day three of having a fever that’s now reached 103.5 and I don’t know what’s wrong. Urgent care does a Covid test that I know is going to be negative because I just took one, and they send me home. So if they sent me home I must just be overthinking this right? Maybe it’s not that bad. But I can’t work until the fever is gone and nothing is making the fever come down the cough is triggering my asthma so on Friday my foster mom takes me to the ER and there I find out I have pneumonia. They rehydrate me because I have been unable to keep anything down and sweating so much that water does nothing for me, and they give some antibiotics and I’m able to go home while they send meds to the pharmacy and finally I’m feeling like it’ll be okay. But the Walgreens they sent the meds to is closed on weekends, and I’m not supposed to wait until Monday so I call and ask them to send it to a different location which I find out halfway through Saturday the pharmacy is actually closed. So I call back again and ask them to send it down the street to Walmart but then they never call in the meds. So I ask my foster mom to call them for me and ask them to send the meds because it’s almost Sunday and I’m starting to feel like crap again and the fever is gone but I can’t breathe and my inhaler is expired and they were supposed to send a new one. She called and they said they would send them and she said she’d pick them up so I spent today cleaning in preparation for feeling better once I get my meds and once I’m done cleaning I sit on my floor and I start crying because I feel so freaking alone. Which is stupid because my foster mom has been taking care of me this whole time, sending me food and taking me to the ER but I can’t help but feel guilty because it’s not her job anymore to take care of me and she’s got a family at home, six kids counting on her but I don’t have anyone else to go to for help. I’m 21, I’m single, my bio family has left me again and it’s just been a really long week you know? It’s not like I have friends I can’t talk to, I lost them all when the assault at Wendy’s happened so I’m just sitting here fucking crying because I’m tired and it sounds very stupid but I’ve realized that it’s nobody’s job to help me. I’m in this alone and usually I can pretend that doesn’t hurt but not this week, not right now. But that’s just what happens when you age out. You’re alone unless you can find people and apparently I’m not very good at finding other people and I don’t know why. Anyway, I just needed a moment I guess. I feel like 12 year old me sitting outside my cottage at residential wondering if I’ll always be alone. I wish I could tell her the answer is no, but at this point in time I don’t have the answer she needs so for now I’m just crying with her.

[nothing0fnothing]

After my sister and I moved out of her house, my mother became a foster parent. She had started the process to begin fostering when we were children but pulled out when she was informed it would mean an increased presence of social services in the home while her and her husband were abusing us. We were moved out now though, and she thought this was the best way to make a buck off of our empty bedrooms.

It was a shit show. I watched from the sidelines as my mother welcomed vulnerable children into her home, love bombed them for a few weeks, then turned cold and distant once she grew bored of them. The older kids were used to it, and moved on quickly enough. The younger ones stayed, and would just spiral into problem behaviours and mental distress to try and elicit some level of care and compassion from her that would never come. She absolutely thrived off of it. She loved that the kids had nobody else and she loved that she had all the power to make them lose their absolute minds. Once she was done with that, they became "too much" for her, she'd have them moved on, expressing to her case workers that she just wasn't prepared for this level of challenge.

I never saw her hit them, but I watched how after the phase of intense care and attention, she'd switch up and exclude and ignore them. What I didn't witness directly, she'd tell me when we'd catch up, as if she was proud of her behaviour.

She'd be dismissive of their wants and needs, she'd roll her eyes or remind them that she had more important things to deal with than them. They'd cry sometimes and she'd leave them in the room alone.

Being only 20, it was like watching my own childhood play out in front of me and it hurt my heart so much. I'd tell her that she was being heartless, that she was hurting people who had already been through enough, that she needed to stop. Eventually, I started encouraging her to stop fostering entirely "this is more effort than it's worth for you." "You've raised your kids there's no reason you should be responsible for raising everyone else's." Literally anything I thought she might take on board so nobody else had to go through what I did.

She doesn't foster anymore. She did for 3 years consistently, but the agency she worked for fired her and she's never told anyone the full truth about why. Too little too late in my opinion, she had too many kids get emotionally fucked up because of her behaviour, but I'm glad she will never get paid to take an already vulnerable kid into her care again.

[aftgficrec]

Anonymous asked: Do you have any recommendations for any new twinyard bonding fics, with or without Nicky. Or even any with Nicky and one twin?

NB: original ask here in new twinyards bonding post

We’ve got a trove of Nicky and the twins for you, including a WIP age reversal fic where college-aged Andrew and Aaron raise young Nicky. It is ‘Home’ by allfortheBoyds. -A

previous recs: Nicky & the twins

Nicky bonding with both or one twin here

Nicky’s relationship with the twins here

new canon compliant bonding: Aaron & Andrew & Nicky here

‘Travelers’ series Part 4 here

‘My brother under the sun’ here

‘Abject apathy,’ ‘Oh Brother Of Mine,’ ‘Atrophy,’ and ‘Promises Kept’ here 

‘Aaron Minyard Ficlets’ and ‘Frazzled Bird’ (completed) here

‘a working thing’ and ‘AFTG/TFC minifics…nicky's pills’ here

‘Step Up/Dance AU’ here

‘This is our beginning’ here

‘We're the giggle at a funeral’ here

‘This is After’ and ‘innocence died screaming’ here

‘Direct Lines to The Heart’ here

‘get what you give’ here 

‘Microsleep’ here

‘Odd Eye’ here

‘You know I don't care’ here

‘on the taste of home (let it go down easy)’ here

‘Paper Cut Hearts’ here 

‘I Found Love Where It Wasn’t Supposed to Be’ here

Nicky & Aaron

‘Aaron loses his shit’ here

‘Aaron figuring out that he’s asexual…’ here

‘Misunderstandings’ here

‘Wear it on your finger’ here

‘aaron minyard + memories of nicky’ here

‘skeletons in the water’ here

‘Five Times Aaron’s Soul Tried to Find a Home…’ here

Nicky & Andrew

Nicky and Andrew’s relationship here

‘maybe we could’ here

‘Something Good’ here

‘Enough’ here

‘The One Where Andrew Tries to Kill Nicky’ here

‘Affection can be shown in so many ways,’ ‘It's a Home,’ and ‘The World on Mute’ here 

‘I am not a library’ here

‘Truth Time’ here 

‘Nicky sees Andrew dance’ here

‘Treacherous’ and ‘Andrew Minyard...does not have a crush’ here

‘Mixed Tape,’ ‘Nicky goes to the bank,’ ‘before nicky goes back to germany,’ ‘Andrew kept Nicky close,’ and ‘Andrew appreciates Nicky’s selflessness’ here

‘Just closed eyes with nothing behind’ here

‘everything has changed’ here 

‘That One Time Andrew Made Nicky Glad…’ and ‘Nicky & Andrew prompt’ here

‘don't look away’ here 

‘hiding out at the winter formal’ here

‘white soap’ and ‘Bloom Where You're Planted’ here

‘losing battle’ and ‘married to my enemy’ series here

‘haven't got a clue’ and ‘Congrats on the sex’ here

‘The Morning AUs Chapter 25: Conversion Camp AU’ here

you may also like

‘Way Down We Go’ here

‘TFC High School AU’ series here

‘Take This Heart (Put Yourself In It)’ here

‘two peas (in a pandemonium)’ here

‘Foxes and Fruitcake’ here

‘I learned from my pain’ here 

‘Andrew seems to be developing separation anxiety’ here

‘another turning point…’ here

‘The Before and After’ here

Nicky & the twins

The Cousins series by onedayanauthor [Rated G/T/M, 22318 Words, 5 complete works, Updated April 2023]

Part 1: A Place of Your Own (G, 5098 Words) Nicky had only had custody of the twins for a week and a half, and he was already entirely exhausted and overwhelmed. 

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced drug use

Part 2: Food Anxieties (G, 2760 Words) Nicky takes Andrew and Aaron to get fast food right after they move into the Columbia house. Andrew has some lingering food anxiety due to previous foster families withholding food or being stingy with food.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced child neglect, tw: food insecurity

Part 3: Making Ends Meet (M, 3583 Words) Aaron asks Nicky how they were able to afford the Columbia house and is surprised by Nicky's answer.

Part 4: Actions Speak Louder (G, 8769 Words) Nicky gets the twins to agree to go to a Christmas festival, but will the twins actually show up?

Part 5: Bonding Moment 2.0 (T, 2108 Words) Turns out Nicky is actually RIPPED and Aaron is just finding out.

NB: Part 2 of this series focuses on Nicky & Andrew and parts 3 and 5 focus on Nicky & Aaron

Why do we break the ones already broken? by KweenKevin [Not Rated, 845 Words, Complete, 2018]

Part 5 of Does that make me crazy? 

A Nicky Hemmick character study.

tw: homophobia, tw: conversion therapy, tw: religious trauma

Better Weather by PluckyYoungMan [Not Rated, 24656 Words, Incomplete, Updated Oct 2022]

A series of oneshots based upon Tilda putting Aaron and Andrew in the foster system, but not ending up taking Aaron back. After her passing Nicky learns of their existence, and elects to take them in when they’re almost thirteen. Nicky is in way over his head with the twins varied and often conflicting issues. Ultimately this is a story about family, and about healing, but it is a long and often painful road along the way.

tw: self harm, tw: blood, tw: body horror, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: homophobia, tw: religious trauma, tw: self harm, tw: manic episode, tw: disordered eating, tw: drugs, tw: alcohol, tw: violence

this is a big world by PoolToast22 [Rated G, 2212 Words, Complete, 2022]

the one where Andrew tells Aaron about his and Neil's relationship

i don't need this city (i could leave in a heartbeat) by crazy_stupid_potato [Rated T, 3285 Words, Complete, 2023]

Andrew has a bad time and decides to run away. But what he didn't think he'd discover is that: sometimes there are good police officers, and that Nicky fucking adores him.

tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon

Home by allfortheBoyds [Rated T, 14316 Words, Incomplete, Updated June 2023]

Nicky is younger, his parents still suck and Aaron and Andrew make sure he has a home

tw: child abuse, tw: homophobia, tw: religious trauma, tw: conversion therapy, tw: confinement, tw: disordered eating, tw: bullying

Wherever you go, I‘ll be there beside you (‘Cause you are my brother) by allfortheBoyds [Rated G, 2031 Words, Complete, 2023]

Nicky becomes a father, the twins are there to support him

Little Secrets by nerdzeword [Rated T, 3696 Words, Complete, 2019]

Part 2 of Little Miracles series, part 1 here

Nicky had spent his entire life hiding who he was. You would think it would be easier to finally tell people.

Heimkehr means Homecoming series by This_Witch_Writes [Rated T/M, Collection with 3 complete works, Updated Dec 2022, Locked]

Part 3 here 

Part 1: But Cass, she could've been [T, 31241 Words] Cass discovers Drake's true nature with the next foster child she takes in, a year after Andrew was adopted by Tilda Minyard. Disgusted and heart-broken, Cass travels to South Carolina.

tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced csa, implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: vomit, tw: violence, tw: homophobia, tw: assault

Part 2: A little closer to home [M, 48508 Words] Cass came back for Andrew after Nicky took custody of him and Aaron once she learned to truth about Drake. She settled in Columbia to be close to them and 18 months later the family has reached some kind of balance. And then Kevin Day shows up at the Foxes hotel room after the Winter Exy Banquet with a ruined hand and a wild story. No hope of a quiet year really.

tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: torture, tw: blood/gore, tw: homophobia, tw: assault, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced csa, implied/referenced child abuse, tw: nonconsensual drug use

Some would sing and some would scream by Helpneedmorefanfics [Rated E, 14168 Words, Complete, 2021]

"Alright. Luther got out of prison, along with everyone else involved in Andrew's previous cases," Nicky says and Kevin sucks in a sharp breath and grabs at the other's arm, horrified. Nicky nods gravely, eyes serious and steady. "I'm going to go kill them all."

tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: murder, tw: arson

A first by LetThemCuddle [Rated G, 3930 Words, Complete, 2023]

Nicky comes down with a mild flu. It's not a big deal. The twins are suffering from unwanted emotions.

All I want for Christmas (is some peace) by sapphosgaycousin [Not Rated, 2214 Words, Complete, AFTG Exchange 2022]

Nicky just wanted to have a cozy christmas, but there is no such thing when you're parenting your cousins.

The Highs and Lows of Pre-med Majors by Harmonique [Rated G, 4575 Words, Complete, 2023]

Part 4 of AFTG whump, part 2 here

Sometimes, Aaron was questioning himself on the stupidity of his decision about being a premed student and an athlete. He couldn’t remember the last time he had more than four hours of sleep, and he still was behind classes. Thankfully, he wasn't a student-athlete... wait

tw: vomit

Nicky & Aaron

The Foxes: Finals Edition by LetThemCuddle [Rated G, 1747 Words, Complete, 2022]

Nicky and Aaron make a deal. Aaron will nap when Nicky demands it, and Nicky promises to wake Aaron up at the exact time he wants.

Aaron & Nicky hcs by @foxes-evermore [Tumblr, 2016]

Nicky & Andrew

I'm Proud of You by kevindaysleftpinkytoe [Not Rated, 1860 Words, Complete, 2023]

Andrew is tired tonight.

tw: self harm, tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: negative self image, tw: depression, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: panic attacks

Andrew thinks he is unlovable hc by @knox-knocks [Tumblr, 2021]

Andrew, Nicky, and hugs meta by @i-did [Tumblr, 2021]

Nicky meta by @sinistercacophony [Tumblr, 2021]

Not a sociopath by @i-want-delfeur [Tumblr Fic, 2018]

I have about 4,000 questions about Nicky and Andrew’s relationship meta by @sirencalll [Tumblr, 2016]

Art

Happy Twinyard day art by @jegulus4life

Nicky’s instagram: Lake with ducks art by @/lis_photoart on instagram

Nicky as their best mum = a threat art by @/joonaxrt on instagram

[theworldoffostering]

We keep on keeping on.

I managed to get Ms. 6 out of the tent this morning and then talked to DS. He must have told me “I don’t know” 15x in 15 minutes while I attempted to debrief last night with him. So basically, I have zero understanding of what he was feeling or thinking. He was helpful in packing up camp, so I know he felt a little bad about what happened but he has expressed no remorse or really any emotion whatsoever.

I talked with Ms. 6 separately after speaking to DS this morning. I offered to take her to Jackson and buy her a plane ticket home (at her expense), but she couldn’t problem solve what she would do after she arrived in Chicago. She eventually decided her best bet was to drive home with us.

Her mom texted me and it’s clear to me that Ms. 6 is doing her best to triangulate her mom and myself. No surprise there.

I told Ms. 6 if she was going to ride home with us, she needed to be both kind and respectful. Mostly she spent the first five hours pouting and keeping to herself (which isn't the worst thing she could be doing). Refusing to eat or take meds. Typical spiral loop for her. I kept trying to be upbeat and continued to engage in positive things but in very short spurts.

I can’t tell you how hurt I am that DS was involved in this and cut our vacation (that I really needed) short due to behaviors. Secondary trauma sucks.

We ended up stopping in WY for dinner. Ms. 6 continues to refuse any and all food options. I offered to buy her basically whatever she wanted at the restaurant or a gas station. She said she would eat when she “gets home.” That’s like tomorrow night and the last time she ate was yesterday afternoon so I gently reminded her that wasn’t going to work.

She told me I could leave her in WY because I was a bad mom. Then she called her mom and played the victim card and said she couldn’t eat because SHE was stressed. She proceeded to escalate in the parking lot and I just calmly explained that she needed to eat so that she could take her medication and get out of the spiral. I reminded her that she was much safer to be around if she had food and needed medication on board. She eventually took the meds but no food and then demanded to be left there.

After awhile we agreed we would be willing to take her to a bus station. We drove over there. The next bus leaves tomorrow evening and it’s a 30 hour ride to get home and will cost her $200 for a ticket. She decided at that point she’s rather eat a couple of bites of a cheeseburger and ride with us. It delayed us well over an hour.

Then her mom texted me that maybe Ms. 6 couldn’t eat because she was stressed. I tried to explain the need to eat, that I’m sure she was stressed, but she brought that upon herself, that she didn’t have access to food when she was younger, etc. Then her mom said she definitely had access to food when she was younger. I’m not going to get into it with her mom, but it is clear to me after having placement of Ms. 6 and her siblings that they definitely did not have consistent access to food. Idk if her mom genuinely doesn’t remember that due to addiction, or she’s blocked it out, or something else.

Her mom seemed happy in the end that Ms. 6 was not going to be on a bus. She also told me that Ms. 6 was welcome to visit her but she was not looking for placement of her so we’ll see if that’s true or not in the coming days/weeks/months.

We are staying the night in the middle of nowhere and then hopefully will make it home tomorrow.