#For the record I’m not one of those people who’s gonna defend the actions of any of the characters or be legitimately insane

[spaghetticat3899]

Me trying not to spam too much of the same subject but then coming across a sea of year old memes I think are funny.

This is the curse of discovering a show after the memes and hype passed on September of last year. I get all the jokes now, but at what cost.

[thatrandomwriter]

Gunshots

Merle Dixon x Reader

Warnings: Violence, death, injury

Summary: Reader and Merle attempt to escape the prison after the Governor attacks, kinda fluffy.

The sounds of gunshots filled the air, along with the groans of the injured, indistinguishable from the sounds of walkers. The Governor’s attack was brutal and unexpected and we were barely surviving, the prison dwellers being picked off one by one as we desperately attempted to defend our lives. What had begun as a well organised, structured attack had soon devolved into chaos as walkers had entered the scene, and the Governor’s people intermingled with ours, making it hard to tell who to kill and who to defend. At this point, it was only possible for me to focus on two things - escaping with my life, and finding Merle.

I zigzagged through the courtyard, deliberately making myself as difficult a target as possible. Shots rang past my ears, and it was impossible to tell if they were aimed at me or at the walkers and other fighters littered around. A woman I didn’t recognise was running toward me. She hesitated but I didn’t, a swift shot to the forehead leaving her crumpled on the floor. There was no time to regret my actions, only to survive. A pair of walkers meandered my way and I grabbed the machete at my waist, stabbing them both in the head in quick succession; they weren’t worth wasting my bullets on.

Rounding a corner, I finally spotted the familiar face I had been looking for - Merle. He was crouched behind a table, reaching around to fire shots at any approaching walkers or the Governor’s people. Two had him pinned down, steadily advancing, but they were yet to see me. With three shots I had taken them out; my marksmanship wasn’t perfect, but three for two wasn’t half bad. Merle’s head snapped around to figure out who had fired on them, and his face broke out into a grin as soon as he recognised my face. I couldn’t help but smile back, despite the circumstances, my run slowing as I got closer. Merle and I hadn’t exactly had the relationship talk, but from the way we acted it was pretty clear to us and everyone else just how important we were to each-other. We spent every night and every waking moment together, and Daryl swore that this was the longest he’d seen Merle tolerate a woman for. Not that that was a major achievement considering Merle’s track record, but in my eyes it was a pretty significant win. For a second, he broke eye contact to fire at another walker, and the second he looked back I could tell that something was seriously wrong. His face dropped. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong, looking to him in confusion. But then I felt it, a heavy, leaden sensation of immense pain in my side. I glanced down and saw hot, red blood seeping through my shirt, spreading far faster than seemed possible. Everything froze as Merle sprang towards me and scooped up my swaying body, half carrying me to behind the table. He set me down surprisingly gently, before leaning away and firing shot after shot, presumably at whoever had just shot me. Stars spun across the front of my eyes and the world tilted around me, Merle’s arm holding me upright the only thing that kept me grounded. He stopped shooting.

“You ain’t dying on my watch. I’m gonna getcha up, ‘n we’re gonna run for those trees right over there, okay?”

It took my swimming head a moment to process the words, but I managed a nod, sensing that that was what he was waiting for. He kissed me, rushed and over far too soon, before draping my arm over his shoulder and pulling both of us into a standing position. I didn’t even have a second to process the sickening pain throbbing even harder in my side before we started moving. I tripped and stumbled at every step, fighting the urge to drop to the floor, close my eyes and give in to the pain, but Merle kept me moving. I knew I was slowing him down. The only thing that stopped me from pulling away and telling him to go on without me was the tight arm around my waist, and the certainty that if I stopped, he would refuse to go on without me. He always had been stubborn. By some miracle we had almost made it to the trees, blurring together into a smear of brown and green. Somewhere in the distance I heard Merle call my name, but he was too far away. I finally let myself fall into darkness.

*

When I opened my eyes for the first time, pain was the only thing I could feel, like fire eating into my side. My head swirled. I couldn’t see, my vision entirely splotchy. I opened my mouth - to speak, to ask what was happening, to call for Merle or anyone who could hear me, but all that came out was a groan of pain.

“Hold still. You’re fine, you’re fine,” Merle’s voice was raspy. He repeated the last two words over and over. For a second, my eyes became clear enough to register the scene in front of me - Merle was crouched in front of me, hand dark with blood that must be mine. He wielded a needle. I squeezed my eyes shut again as I realised what he was about to do, failing to hold onto consciousness as the needle passed through my flesh.

*

When I opened my eyes again, the first thing I was aware of was the throbbing pain in my side. Dull, but ever-present. The second was Merle, his arm around my waist, resting carefully away from white bandages. There was a dark splotch in the middle, but it looked dry - I wasn’t bleeding any more. My head was resting on his chest. He breathed slowly - asleep I gathered, since we were surrounded by darkness, aside from the glowing embers of an almost dead fire. I turned towards him, leaning in and planting a soft kiss on his lips. I felt his mouth twitch into a smile before he kissed me back, warm and familiar, gently wrapping his other arm around me so that I was completely surrounded by Merle.

“Don’t you ever do that shit again, you hear?” His voice cracked slightly and he cleared his throat, attempting to play it off without appearing emotional. I let him.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,”

“I ain’t joking. You try that again and I’ll kill ya myself,” Merle was tracing a soft line up and down my back with his good hand. Once upon a time, I would have believed him capable of killing me and getting a good nights sleep after. Now, I knew that he was full of shit.

“I won’t, I promise. What can I do to make you believe me?”

“I can think of a coupla things that might help,” The suggestive tone in his voice made me whack him on the shoulder. He chuckled, “You’ve put me through a lotta stress the past couple days, that’s all I’m sayin’,”

“Thanks for keeping me alive,” I said.

“I wasn’t just gonna leave ya,” Merle replied. I rested my head back onto his chest as his fingers continued their path up and down my back, my eyes becoming heavy again, but this time from sleep rather than as a result of my injury. My breathing slowed into a regular pace, matched by Merle’s, his chest rising and falling.

“I ain’t ever gonna leave ya,” he said, in a tone hushed enough that I believed he must have thought me asleep already. I let him believe that I was sleeping, keeping my breathing steady and not responding aloud, instead thinking,

‘I’ll never leave you, either.’

[randomsufff]

Here’s the “Why The Great Gatsby Musical is a bad Musical Adaptation” essay no one asked for-

(For the record- I haven’t researched anything or re-read the Great Gatsby in years so apologies if I get things wrong this is just me going off the dome with other people’s video essays [Sideways fans where y’all at] and the two Adaptations in Media courses I took in college)

(Also seems like I accidentally posted this before I finished so to those of yall who saw this before I was done- no you didn’t)

First things first- we gotta establish the core story/ moral lesson that the musical is trying to say.

Cause if this was a normal one to one adaptation of the book- I’d say the musical did a fucking shit job.

Cause adaptation are taking a story and changing it to fit a new medium. AKA- you don’t change the main story or elements that make that story… THAT STORY or else it’s not an adaptation- that’s just something else entirely with the same characters and such. You can ADD or REMOVE to the storyline or characters- but you can’t CHANGE them or else it’s not true to the original source material [and you get a lot of pissed fans as we’ve seen time and time again]

(Side rant- Which is why musicals like “Groundhog Day” and “Legally Blonde” are so praised. [ok maybe just me who likes the Groundhog Day musical but it’s really the perfect movie to musical adaptation]. They don’t change the story but rather ADD ON to what is already there to make it better. While Phils break comes from his own contentment in where he is rather then his love for Rita, this change ADDS ON to reasons why Rita falls for him, and they flesh out Rita as a character and her dynamic with Phil WAY more. Elle has a more fleshed out and deeper relationship with Warner which wasn’t seen in the film)

When you “adapt” a piece of media, and don’t stick or keep the IDEA of that media that makes it so likable- fans are gonna be pissed when you try to pass this off as the thing they like without all the heart. (Hence all the HBO Velma/ Scooby Doo adaptations in general hate, or Into the Woods/Heathers/ Dear Even Hansen/ etc. movie vs musical debate)

SO WHEN THIS MUSICAL SHIFTS THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF THE STORY FROM A COMMENTARY OF OLD VS NEW MONEY AND HOW MONEY CORRUPTS TO A FUCKING LOVE STORY- CAN YOU BLAME PEOPLE WHO LIKED THE BOOK ABOUT BEING OUTRAGED. But I’m getting ahead of myself

I’ll give this musical the benefit of the doubt. People defend this musical by saying it’s an INTERPRETATION of the book. And I can’t argue with that so let’s look at how the musical failed as a musical (in my eyes) without pointing out the glaring difference in theme. (Even though I’m still pissed about it)

Which brings us to finding the core of THIS musical. What makes this story unique to this musical. Think back to every musical you know- I’d say most, if not all, of them have some moral or message they say at the end. And even if not- they at least tell a narrative. Something the main character LEARNS and/or TEACHES to others to make them a changed person from the beginning (very similar to typical narrative structures because that’s basically what a musical is- a story with music in it)

So what is The Great Gatsby’s core narrative?

And I KNOW the theme isn’t about Old vs New money cause they NEVER SHOW OTHERWISE except the ONE LINE at the very end. And they RUSH PAST all the consequences of all the rich peoples actions so it doesn’t seem like much was at stake. At least in the book Daisy is shown to value Old Money more and is more flaky around Gatsby- using him more obviously. BUT IF YOU CHANGE THE STORY SO THEY’RE BOTH INFATUATED WITH EACH OTHER- that selfishness and value on old money DOSENT HIT. Even NICK doesn’t know the lesson that “money makes people suck” in the musical until apparently the last 10 minutes??? Though it’s never shown his gradually trying to learn this lesson???

So that makes us turn to “is it a love story/ tragedy about Gatsby and Daisy”? And even then I’d say no! Or at least I’m not sure- because they honestly don’t show much of their relationship other than what’s in the surface.

Be so for real- ignoring that it’s Eva Noblezada and Jeremy Jorden singing- what do we ACTUALLY KNOW about Daisy and Jays relationship via lyrics??? That Jay went to war- they danced at a ball, Daisy liked him but thought he would die at war and moved on, and got married to Tom for security. There is NOTHING OF SUBSTANCE HERE. WHY did they fall in love? WHAT did Daisy like about Jay? WHAT DID JAY LIKE ABOUT DAISY?

There’s NOTHING HERE for the audience to feel and root for this couple. In literally any other (good) musical you’d have a grand ol song or spectacle about what the two love interests see in each other, which you BUILD UP over multiple interactions and dialogue. All they do whenever they’re on stage or singing is talk about how much they’re in love with each other- but not really why??? It’s so surface level- “we love each other so so so much and I’ll die without you”- but not actually showing, I guess, evidence of this? If that makes sense??? WHAT DO THEY SEE IN EACH OTHER THAT THEY CANT GET ANYWHERE ELSE? I didn’t feel anything when they got together, and I felt nothing when they got separated.

It doesn’t help that this musical tries to tell too many storylines at once. Yup I’m talking about the useless Jordan and Nick plot. WHAT is the purpose here? It just talks up time away from the main romance (if that was the core story) and ends too abruptly to convey the “Money corrupts” angle (if that’s what they were going for???? I literally can’t tell)

So right off that bat I have no idea what this musical wants out of me or want to achieve. Is it making a capitalist commentary? A feminist one? Is this a love story? Between who??? Nick and Jordan or Jay and Daisy? I think the musical WANTS to achieve all of these at once, but it doesn’t and CAN’T work.

Sure, musicals can have multiple lessons or storylines, but usually, there’s ONE MAIN ONE that the rest stem off or build upon, making it layered. I feel like this musical wanted to equally showcase all these points, which made it feel like nothing was said cause they tried to give every point an equal amount of stage time.

If the main story is supposed to be about the Romeo and Juliet type tragedy between Jay and Daisy, why did they not show more conflict between the two? Why did they completely omit them fully reuniting and the moments before and after Daisy hit Myrtle???? That’s like their main breaking point and yall not even gonna show that????

If it’s between Nick and Jorden why do they not have a meaningful ending to their relationship? Why was Jorden so down bad for MARRYING Nick?

They then could have layered on the different messages, through side plots or dialogue or whatever to convey the other points

Ok so now that that’s finally out of the way let’s get into the res gif it real quick.

Nicks the main character but he dosent seem to learn anything or change at all until the last 10 minutes, and even then, it’s not THAT fleshed out. He just seems to be going through the story and has like such little impact despite literally being one of the main characters.

And yeah- he didn’t do much in the novel either but you were reading all this shit through HIS EYES. You got to hear HIS thoughts and how HE described situations, so you were still connected to he guy and knew his deal mostly.

In the musical, the only times he truly narrates is the begging, the song “The Met”, and the end. And after meeting Jordan, anytime he’s on stage, he mostly doing something with her. He never feels INVOLVED with Gatsby and Daisy’s plot after they get together. He kinda like, fucks off and does his own thing for like the rest of the show. It’s so weird- just invoke your main narrator more. ALSO JUST HAVE HIM NARRATE? Not sure why they made him stop narrating beyond the beginning and end but I think it would have been fun if Nick addressed the audience and had asides with his thoughts and such through the show.

Finally- though it’s not a huge huge nitpick- the songs.

I just felt like- they say a whole lot of nothing. Like half of the songs don’t add much in terms of character or plot, at least, nothing that couldn’t be easily said in a line of dialogue.

I’m not sure if this is true for ALL musicals, but I’d say generally, sons in (good) musicals have to either move to plot forward, or provide deeper insight to a characters feelings.

First example that comes to my mind is Tim Minchins Groundhog Day Musical (cause I really really love that musical). Literally every song in that musical either moves the plot forward, or provides a deeper view to a character that you’d literally never hear otherwise cause they’d never say that shit outloud.

When I look at this musical- only about half of the songs achieve this. Songs like “Absolute Rose” or “Second Hand Suit” and even “One Way Road” are great at proving a look beyond a surface level at the characters. But songs like “For Her” or “My Green Light” felt redundant cause they said what we already saw for 3 minutes. I already said this, but it would have been better if they used these songs to delve into WHY Daisy and Jay are so infatuated with each other. What about the other made Jay want to go after her for like 10 years or Daisy want to have an affair with him.

And the song “The Met” was GREAT for actively pushing forward the plot. Like it moved THROUGH the scene if that makes sense. Unlike other songs which kind felt crammed in as the plot moves around the song.

Cause that’s the thing about this musicals songs is that half of them don’t feel INTEGRATED into the plot. The story doesn’t continue throughout the song, you’re just kinda stuck in the scene with the character until they’re done singing. Of course there are the few exceptions (“Shady”, “Second Hand Suit” and “The Met” and of course) but almost every other song you don’t see the plot move forward WITH the song. And of course not every song in every musical HAS to move through the story, but if you’re going to have a musical with 23 songs, you need to use some of them to continue the plot forward.

It feels like the composers only used about half the potential that songs in musicals can do, cause they mostly only used it for like, romantic or big emotional moments and they don’t do much while they do.

In contrast, in the (here I go again) Groundhog Day Musical, in one song “One Day” (the Act 1 Finale) we 1) learn Rita’s reasoning why she keeps rejecting Phil and her personal thoughts on love and relationships. 2) See Phil repeatedly try to date Rita and keep failing. 3) See Phil’s thoughts and dive into depression as the luster of the loops wear off. And 4) Set up the other townies problems to the audience that Phil to help with in the middle of Act Two. 5) Pushes home the moral of the story (the townies always saying “one day, in the future, I’ll get all this shit done”) FIVE SEPARATE POINTS. All wrapped up in a montage as the audience get to see Phil become more and more demotivated as the loops go on.

Granted it is like 7 minutes long, but even compared to The Great Gatsby’s 5 minute “Roaring On”- I can only think of the song 1) Introducing how cryptic Gatsby is 2) Very brief backstory on Nick. 3) The set up of party goers always looking for the next party. And even then, “One Day” has a literal montage of failed dates by Phil, then has all the Townies stand fragmented as they say their problems, then shows him literally go through his day BACKWARDS to highlight how fucked up time is for him and how everything blurs together (and it genius because it uses core poses and people they established and hammered into your brain since the beginning of the show to make it so you can recognize the scene just by one person doing one thing- AGH I can go on forever about this show)

What does “Roaring On” have going for it? Nothing. Just dancers dancing and Nick standing there singing

“Oh, but it’s not that fair to compare an Act 1 Finale to the opening number…” Alright let compare the Great Gatsby’s Finale to other musicals shall we.

First off, “My Green Light” really does not have much going for it. No offense if you like the song, but what do we learn through this song? That Daisy also missed Gatsby but moved on for her own good and that they want the other “save” them. For Daisy, I can understand Gatsby maybe “saving” her from Tom, but what does Gatsby need saving from? Loneliness? Again, WHY HER?

Now again, I’ll try to be fair since there are act one closers that aren’t big spectacles (Looking at you Book of Mormon). Off the top of my head, “Our Love is God” from Heathers is similar in concept to what TGG is trying to do. They’re both love songs involving the main characters that they sing to the other. But what makes “Our Love is God” stand out is that it’s also the point where JD reveals his true colors, and both the audience and Veronica learn how obsessive his love is for her. It starts out as a sweet love song, sung in a loving tone, but by the end he uses the exact same words in a more sinister and possessive tone and you get to see Veronica kinda realize what she’s gotten herself into. “My Green Light” has nothing like that. It’s actually kind of a mundane place to end act one, cause there’s literally nothing going on that they could by have just said at some point. I mean even if you take it out and don’t replace it with anything, there’s nothing in there that’s you couldn’t infer or just get via the rest of the show. They could have shifted everything so that landed at their reconnection over tea at Nicks so it would be more plot relevant. Or even shifted it to when she comes to one of Gatsby’s party for the first time.

Dear Even Hansen has an emotional Act One Closer, but even that is directly connected to the plot. “You Will be Found” IS literally the thing that kick starts the downfall of Evan, and the message of the song is one that can apply to anyone in the audience.

I don’t know, if I remember correctly, I was kinda surprised when they went to curtain cause it was such a boring place for Act One to end, I expected there to be more.

Anyways, I think that’s basically it. So The Great Gatsby could have been a great musical if they actually chose a MAIN storyline to completely follow through on, and utilized songs to their full potential in musical theater rather. 👍

[dreamkidddream]

Those Doll!anon fics were really amazing! I really wanna do something like it if you don’t mind. Could I maybe get a Yorkie!MC? Like, a really short, really friendly MC until they feel like they or one of the brothers/undateables are being threatened or insulted, then they try to pick a fight they’d obviously lose? I’m just laughing at the mental imagine of this short, unthreatening human yelling at and trying to square up against a demon lol.

Awww tysm!! 💙I missed writing for Obey Me (and we also hit 666 followers at this point 😈💜) and since this was so interesting I decided that I’m gonna do the Undateables first and then do the brothers cause I feel like I don’t show them enough love 😔 reader is gender neutral!

The Undateables with Yorkie!MC

Diavolo

He is LOVING your energy

Your happiness is so contagious, it just adds onto his already cheery demeanor. He honestly feels his cheeks hurting from smiling even more when you’re around (and he doesn’t even care!)

He’s gonna buy Lucifer so much Demonus as a thank you for picking you for the exchange program. Seriously, you’re PERFECT (for him)

As the President of Student Council and future King, he loves seeing you interact with the other students, and he’s glad that they’re reacting positive to you. At least some of them do

Now, no one is to foolish (or powerful) enough to threaten Diavolo or do anything to you that can bring you harm. They can try, but they won’t be getting the results that they hope for

But he can’t help it but find it amusing when you try to “defend his honor” when someone bad mouths him. He makes sure to not let it show (gotta be professional after all) but he does tease you about it later. You’re so small and seeing you just yelling square up to this demon is hilarious. He has no idea what geometry has to do with this, but he’s learned some new slang thanks to you!

He’s finally found someone who’ll go along with his antics and more. Whereas other people may complain about him wanting to do fun activities that seem basic, you just flash a big smile, grab his hand and tell him to lead the way

(You even made matching friendship bracelets and he refuses to take it off, ever)

You really make him happy MC. He doesn’t remember the last time he’s ever felt this lighthearted, and he doesn’t feel the sense of loneliness that he felt himself getting used too

Also Lucifer gets twice the headache now, but the Demonus helps it go away (temporarily)

Barbatos

Ah, so another Luke, except older and that you take your threats of violence very serious, if what he sees (both in the present and the future) holds true (which it does)

You’re still harmless in his eyes though

Your friendly personality makes it easy for you to be forgiven for a lot of things…even if your actions make him give you the side eye at times

Despite how energetic you are (which is something that he’ll never grow tired of) your presence has a relaxing effect on him. Even if he has to warn you sometimes to be careful with the way that you bounce around so much, especially when he’s in the kitchen

He unfortunately can’t be by your side as he is Lord Diavolo’s butler, but that doesn’t mean that he can’t keep watch on you, even without the use of his powers

With how outgoing you are, you’re bound to attract trouble, in which you do at a constant rate. What was comical however, is that it seemed like the trouble you attracted was on his behalf

“MC, what seems to be the issue here?”

“BARB! You won’t believe this! This jerk has the nerve to call you stuck up- well I can show you stuck up! After I stick my foot up your- Huh? Hey, why am I the one being dragged away?! W- count yourself lucky that Barb is saving you right now demon! But this isn’t over- MPH!”

“I hate to spoil you before our tea party, but you were already late and I have been meaning to have you try my new recipe that I’ve been working on…”

You were too busy trying to savor the delicious flavor to focus on what just happen, which was his plan all along. You get to try more of his delicious treats and he gets to enjoy your touch and company. Crisis averted!

He’s crafty enough to have plans to evade you “fighting” and you haven’t caught on yet (or maybe you did and just feign ignorance? Either way works for him)

It doesn’t bother him what people say about him, he doesn’t care in the slightest (and they’re not bold enough to say it to his face). What he cares about is making sure that you keep your carefree energy, and that he keeps to see you with your radiating smile on your face

Simeon

You remind him so much of Luke. Are you sure you’re not from the Celestial Realm too?

Don’t worry he’s only teasing you (kinda) but you do have just as much energy if not MORE than Luke

And you don’t mind helping him either, no matter how “silly” his requests may be

“You’re doing great Si! See, you didn’t even need my help!”

“MC, I couldn’t have gotten to this point without you. My pictures are still coming out a little blurry, but that could be because you wouldn’t stand still- but it does add special kind of charm to them…”

He’s keeping them btw

He was shook when he saw you go off the first time, like he really wasn’t expecting it (Solomon did try to warn him, he was laughing but he did try to warn him)

“Don’t think just because he’s an angel means I’m bout to act like one! I will end you!”

MC please don’t make this demon “catch these hands” violence isn’t necessary

He doesn’t know what that means but he’s scared that he’s gonna find out if he doesn’t hold you back

He has reprimanded you each time when you try to fight others. He knows that demons see him as weak and talk behind his back, but he chooses to ignore them, to turn the other cheek. But just because he does, doesn’t mean that you do, and he sees that now

Simeon really doesn’t want you to fight, and it’s not even because it’s against his nature (it’s part of the reason, just not the whole reason). Fighting leads to injury, and injury leads to distress, and that’s the last thing that he wants to happen to you. And he’s not going to let anything happen to you!

He truly believes it’s a waste of time and energy, and you could find better things to do. For example, by spending time with him!

Simeon may not be your guardian angel officially, but he’s your guardian angel. Always

Has definitely written a character based on you

Luke

Is immediately upset that you don’t stay in Purgatory Hall with him, and even more upset that you don’t live in the Celestial Realm

You’re like the best older sibling he’s never had! And you don’t treat him like a baby either!

Or he’s just admiring you too much to notice

You never hesitate to help him with anything; baking, homework, pretty much anything and everything. He may try to make it seem like you need his assistance, but we all know it’s the other way around (with the exception of Luke himself)

We all know that Luke gets teased by the brothers and even his roommates sometimes (looking at you Solomon), but it’s just harmless teasing (for the most part). It’s when he hears what the other students say about him that gets to him- he tries to show that it doesn’t bother him and he tries to stand up for himself but- their words really hurt him

And no one hurts Luke and gets away with it

You already get onto the brothers for their teasing when it starts to bother him, and now the brothers have to jump in to stop you from trying to rip this demon horns’ off

You can’t really reach them and they’re pretty sure you won’t do any damage, but they rather not take the chance of you getting hurt

It’s not the first or last time that you do this either, and it just makes him feel horrible. He’s the angel here, the one that’s suppose to protect you, not the other way around!

You help him out so much, either without defending him you do so much for him already. How can he ever repay you? He feels like whatever he does won’t be enough…WAIT- he figured out what he can do!

He can get stronger and protect you! He can go to Beel so that you don’t have to fight for him anymore, or maybe have Solomon make some potions that’s like demon repellent but only for those jerks. If those mean demons see how serious and strong he is, then they’re bound to leave you guys alone! Maybe he can show you some tricks too once he’s done. He has to hurry up and tell you the plan then, you guys can’t wait any longer!

Their words do hurt, but so does seeing you putting yourself in harms way to protect him. You can’t do all the protecting MC, he needs to watch out for you too, no if ands or buts about it!

You and Luke are the duo we never knew we needed

Solomon

Ah, it’s about time he found a human as interesting and adorable as you. Where having you been hiding all his lifetime?!

He has wayyyy more fun teasing you than Luke. Your pout just makes things x100 better and cuter

Congrats on becoming his new victim MC

Another one to find you very amusing when you try to fight and won’t stop you either

He will dead serious be recording you trying to fight on his DDD. He’ll make sure that it doesn’t escalate but who is he to stop such entertainment?

He has become tempted to cast a superhuman strength spell on you, and he ends up doing it “on accident” (which has happened more than once)

Lucifer has done the “I’m watching you” thing to him every time he has lmao

But no seriously, he won’t let you get hurt; he won’t even let the chance arise. He’s already pulling you away before you can get yourself worked up fully, dragging you to the library or his room to test some new spells (one that he tempts you can use on these demons). It’s enough to get your attention back on him

You’re a daily source of his amusement and someone that he wants MC, but that doesn’t mean he can afford his favorite human getting hurt on his watch!

He’s no stranger to the gossip about him, nor is he clueless. It’s just all talk anyway, he doesn’t care and neither should you. But it is touching to know that you care this much about him and how he feels…

But he doesn’t want you to do this for him. He’s a powerful sorcerer, he can easily solve this without breaking a sweat if he wanted to, but he doesn’t deem it worthy to even waste a drop of potions on. But since you’re so concerned, maybe a quick kiss would make him feel better?

He thought you were a little gullible, but that’s not the case. You just have a very open and bright personality, one that he finds himself getting attached to more and more as each day passes

If he’s not careful, he might get more enamored with you than he already is-

[rapsgoddess]

All y’all white people and non-black poc need to understand something about rioting. Yes, we acknowledge that there are gonna be people who show up just to fuck shit up. Yes, we acknowledge that there are gonna be small businesses that get damaged in the process. We typically try our best to avoid burning and looting places like those because we understand the importance of minority businesses. Many of the riots have been started by white “allies”, white supremicst, or undercover officers who either don’t understand the intensity of their actions and that they’ll get pinned on the peaceful protesters (mainly talking about the former), or people who truly want to give us a bad reputation. And even if we were the ones starting the riots, so what? The same people who are preaching for us to peacefully protest were probably the same people who gave Colin Kaepernick slack for kneeling during the pledge. Or the same people who threw a hissy fit when the NBA went on strike. Boycotts, kneeling, and strikes are all forms of peaceful protest and usually get dismissed by the media and the people consuming said media. Even the peaceful protest in Portland, Colorado, and New York stopped circulating in the media that much when the BLM “trend” died down. Peaceful protesting was still going on when many people didn’t know about it, and it just goes to prove my point on how peacfuling protesting doesn’t gain the attention that we need. So get outta here with that bullshit.

Another thing that also pisses me off is how people have the audacity to say “Well if these people weren’t doing anything wrong/If they didn’t have anything to hide, then they shouldn’t have resisted arrest.” First of all, resisting arrest doesn’t warrant your death. That’s a fucking no brainer. If you really hate violence that fucking much, then condemn the fucking officers as well as the rioters you moron. Secondly, by saying that, you’re automatically implying that all (or if not majority) of the black people murdered by law enforcement had some sort of criminal record or were hiding something. There is a law that states that you can and have the right to resist unlawful arrest, so Jacob Blake had every right not to be detained by that officer. We don’t have to be hiding something to resist an arrest that we deem (and probably is) unnecessary. Also, by making this assumption, you’re only further backing up the notion that all black people are violent by assuming that they had something to hide and it’s also another way to LITERALLY DEFEND MURDERERS. I understand many of the people are convicted felons and that Jacob Blake was charged with domestic abuse, but that does not give you an excuse to shoot them! Any person in their right mind with a knife would KNOW not to pick a fight with someone with a gun, so that argument is already invalid as fuck. Americans are so quick to defend the second amendment yet completely forget or disregard the actual reason for it. It gives us the right to bare arms for protection, which is why many people (regardless of ethnicity) own one. Why is a black man having a gun any different? When many underage teens, including that 17 year old white man who MURDERED TWO PEOPLE, are able to purchase and have firearms in their possession, but black people can’t? It doesn’t matter if they’re not allowed to, because if we’re playing that card, then many of y’all white folks don’t need to have guns with y’all unstable ass mental health issues.

So, in conclusion, ACAB, show some fucking empathy, and get your head out your asses. I’m fucking done, y’all done pissed me off

@nahimjustfeelingit-writes @liltodo @mythiccheroacademia @one-time-i-dreamt

Can y’all please boost this. I don’t have many followers and I really want this to be heard and y’all are some of the only people I look up to on this hellhole of a site.

[stubbornjerk]

Why people keep telling you to block them if you support Pholo (Penumbra Edition)

Or: why jitterbug-juno really deactivated

I love when people categorize this as fandom wank. Really makes you feel like you’re putting the onus on either side of the conversation.

I’m making this post not because I want to stir up spoiled milk, but because I want it out there that this wasn’t a purity culture war.

The TL;DR version of this is that fans of color tried to tell Rab (prev. jitterbug-juno) not to post her Omegaverse (or A/B/O) fic. And instead of taking the L, she posted it on Ao3 and deactivated.

But, if you want context, well, buckle in. CW for mentions of racism and transphobia.

What did jitterbug-juno do?

Before I get into this I do want it out there that I will not be linking Rab’s fic, but I will show you this screenshot of the summary of it.

[ID: It is a screenshot of a fic, “As You Are” by Pholo.

Summary: Peter can hide his scent glands behind cologne; makeup; concealer pads. He can quash his heats with suppressants. He can divert the urge to nest and fawn.

But he can’t feign another gender’s subvocals. He lacks the anatomical capacity. Mag taught him to distract from his silence with fast, flashy words. For longer heists he relies on social convention. Traumatic mutism is uncommon, but remarked upon by enough war vets and soap operas to be widely recognized. Peter’s marks assume he’s been harmed long before they assume he’s a closeted omega. It would take quite the backwater brute to ask why he doesn’t murmur or chuff or growl.

On the 'Blanche there are the usual furtive glances. Juno makes clear to Peter that should he ever want “to talk about what happened,” he’ll be there to listen. The gesture annoys Peter more than comforts him.

‘Nothing happened,’ he wants to scream. ‘There’s nothing to talk about!’

There are 14 comments, 85 kudos, and 11 bookmarks /end]

You decide what you’re doing with that information, but honestly, I’d rather you don’t give it anymore engagement than it deserves.

There was a period earlier this June (yes, even though it’s only the 10th, at time of writing) when Rab was posting snippets of the aforementioned fic on her blog and tagging it appropriately, putting it in the attention of pretty much the entire Penumbra fandom.

What’s Omegaverse or a/b/o and why is everyone so against Rab for it

If you know what Omegaverse is, I don’t have to tell you why it’s controversial. If you don’t know what Omegaverse is, well, Fanlore said it best:

a kink trope wherein some or all people have defined biological roles based on a hierarchical system, with the terms originating from animal behaviour research. There may be werewolf, knotting, or other animalistic elements involved, or the characters may be otherwise purely human.

The term is generally written with slashes (a/b/o). Many fans, particularly ones from Australia and New Zealand, are uncomfortable seeing the term without slashes because it is also an Australian slur for aboriginal people.

I won’t get into the history or the heaps and tons of other discourses (mostly about fictional male pregnancy, homophobia, transphobia, sexual assault, etc.)  that go on within that. We’re here specifically on Rab v. Penumbra fans of color and we’re staying there.

Anyone who’s been in Penumbra enough to realize that everyone draws the Junoverse characters in a certain way knows that a) Juno is black, b) Nureyev is Asian, and c) as a fan you have to be aware of what you’re subjecting or saying about either of them because of the political repercussions that come with it.

And despite that, Rab proceeded to write Peter Nureyev, a gender nonconforming gay Asian male character that is widely headcanon’d as trans, into a fic using a kink trope that relies heavily on animal behavior.

Unlike most people new to fandom, Rab is aware of what Omegaverse is and is very much white. She is (and if she isn’t, should be) aware of the racist undertones that writing him in would get.

I couldn’t get a screenshot of what snippets Rab was sending out into the ether, seeing as a majority of my friends would rather not have seen any at all (I have all of the usual tags blocked so I wouldn’t have seen it either way), but needless to say, Rab got attention for it. Both positive and negative.

Anne (@hopeless-eccentric) even posted a satirical fic, in the odds that Rab was just writing this thing to be “the first” to write Omegaverse fic in the Penumbra tags.

But, I’m assuming more than one fan of color came into Rab’s inbox and messaged her about it, but someone I know (who would like to remain anonymous) was gracious enough to take a screenshot before he sent his in and let me use it for this post:

[ID: A message to jitterbug-juno about to be sent by a sender whose name is censored with a black bar. His messages says:

“as someone who is a person of color i think the nature of the fic you are writing right now is extremely racist and attributing animal characteristics to lgbt people of color is not at all appropriate, especially when you are someone who is white. i have to ask you to not publish this fic and to reflect as to why you would want to write this in the first place, these tropes are extremely harmful and”

There are 33 characters left to write into the message. /end]

I can’t speak for whoever else sent asks about the fic she was writing. If anyone was actually not-so-gentle with her, well, minorities don’t really owe it to you to be gentle about what they can tell is bigotry-tinged behavior.

But, the message was clear: this is different from your garden variety, lily white straight male character m/m kink fantasy. This is an actual queer Asian character that a lot of queer Asian people feel attached do. Do not post the fic.

What happened next: the beginning of the end

The next morning, I woke up to most of my friends being frustrated by this post on Rab’s account:

[ID: Dated 5 June, a post by jitterbug-juno:

“Gonna leave the fandom for a while. Wishing you all well.”

The tags say the following: not sure if i’ll be back, thank you so much to everybody who’s read my fics, and who’s sent asks or engaged with my art or any of that, you’re amazing and I’m sending love /end]

That... was not what fans of color wanted, but it was definitely an action they took. Some celebrated, as they were very much wary of Rab for having caused much of the same category of drama in fandoms like Voltron: Legendary Defenders and Warrior Cats. This also meant that she was probably not going to post the fic either.

Some, myself included, were relatively pissed, as they’d wanted even just the measly bit of accountability. An apology or an acknowledgement of having been called out in private and that they’ll take time to consider why. But instead we got Rab leaving in the face of fans of color telling her not to post her Omegaverse fic.

Well. The next day...

[ID: Dated 6 June. A post by jitterbug-juno titled, “Well... that was short-lived”

“I gave the situation a lot of thought yesterday. The reaction to my omegaverse previews made me figure I should leave the fandom. It seemed like the safest option.

But you know what?

Hell.

I don’t want to leave. The fic discusses the tropes of omegaverse and I spoke to several POC on Twitter, and I’m going to post it with plenty of tags so people can avoid it if they wish. I’m not going to be chased out of this space.

Thank you to everyone who sent messages yesterday. I shouldn’t have made that post about leaving. It was really reactionary. I’m okay and I appreciate your support so much.

(bolded on the post) To those who are angry and uncomfortable with me: Please block me. If you’re going to talk about this fic on Tumblr and Twitter– and this may sound odd– PLEASE NAME ME as Jitterbug-juno or Pholo. Don’t vague me. That way people who don’t want to see this discourse can add my name to their block lists.“ /end]

That certainly was short-lived, she wasn’t kidding.

This got a lot of outrage. Again, the fic is up on Ao3 and she has not taken it down. A lot of POC were pissed and I didn’t see a single fan of color actively support what she was doing, at least, not in my friend group. Everyone started making those posts to block them if you liked the fic or Rab’s content in general, in accordance to what Rab wanted.

Perseus (@mraudiodrama) noticed/pointed out that Rab deleted the part where she said she spoke to several POC about releasing her fic, as well as the part where she said she refused to be chased out of the fandom. This was an incredibly pointed detail to edit out, according to some.

[ID: A screenshot of jitterbug-juno's last post taken 11:00PM. Much of it is the same except the following bolded words are removed: "The fic discusses the tropes of omegaverse and I spoke to several POC on Twitter, and I’m going to post it with plenty of tags so people can avoid it if they wish. I’m not going to be chased out of this space." /end]

That same day, Rab deleted her blog. I actually caught this one on tape, believe it or not.

[ID: A screen recording taken at 12:01 PM of someone scrolling down jitterbug-juno's account. The posts and asks about Omegaverse and her post about leaving and coming back are conspicuously absent. /end]

Initially, I thought she deleted all mentions of it. I wanted to see firsthand if the rumors about her deleting portions of it were true. If she added things where she was saying that she wanted to write it because she was autistic and wanted Nureyev to be autistic too, regardless of the numerous QPOC telling her not to do it.

Instead, it turned out, she deleted her blog.

And now, we're here. The fic is still up. Her blog is down. Rab's public Twitter account @nataclinn is quiet about this. Her @cushfuddled Twitter account is on private after her run-in with the Warrior Cats fandom, according to a friend. And her Tumblr @cushfuddled account has nothing but memes.

Again, I didn't make this post to stir up drama. I wasn't even obsessively making this post as a call-out because she isn't in the fandom anymore. I just want it out there that this isn't a purity culture thing that got out of hand in a fandom as niche as Penumbra. This was a case of someone being called out and failing to acknowledge it before running away. And I want all that out of the way before I say:

If you are on Rab's side of this debacle, I, a queer person of color, want nothing to do with you either.

[miserablesme]

The Les Miserables Changelog Part 1: Barbican Previews

Hello everyone! I'm starting out a blog which will look at my favorite musical, Les Miserables, and will discuss the various changes it has gone through over time (musically and lyrically). As it turns out, a LOT of edits have been made over the years so this will doubtless be a series with several parts.

This first part may well be the most difficult and will almost certainly be the most incomplete, as previews can be a time of extensive editing and experimentation. At least for the first few weeks or so, it's perfectly possible any one day of previews will be slightly different than any other day. However, I only have access to two audios from the Barbican Theatre previews of Les Miserables, meaning it's likely that lyrical variants exist which I have no way of hearing.

I am aware of the existence of a third audio which is fairly early in the run of previews, as the tape's master has told me that Gavroche's death scene is in its original form (I'll clarify that later). However, that tape has never been traded, and has sadly only been listened to by its master. I am also aware of a video proshot of the Barbican era that exists in the Royal Shakespeare Company library, but currently have no access to it. I plan to inquire about whether I can look at it sometime (though I'm not sure a blog like this is "official" enough to warrant it for research purposes). As such, this comparison only entails the two widely circulated audios from the Barbican run.

Now that we've gotten that cleared up, let's get started!

First, let's look at the opening "Work Song". In the earlier recording I have (let's call it R1), the beginning music (the same tune used, for instance, at the opening of "At the End of the Day" and "One Day More" and for Marius and Cosette's meeting in "The Robbery") stops. Then, a few moments later, the more familiar opening that leads directly into the prologue begins. By the time of the later recording I have (let's call it R2), the scores have been combined so that the first tune directly transitions into the second one.

Meanwhile, in R1 there is a sequence of lines that goes as follows:

I've done no wrong

Sweet Jesus, hear my prayer

Look down, look down

Sweet Jesus doesn't care

I killed a man

He tried to steal my wife

Look down, look down

She wasn't worth your life

I know she'll wait

I know that she'll be true

Look down, look down

She's long forgotten you

Most fans of the musical recognize the middle sequence of lines ("I killed a man" through "She wasn't worth your life") as no longer being lines in the show (for good reason, as we'll get into in a later edition of this blog). However, R2 keeps the lines. Instead, it deletes the third sequence ("I know she'll wait" through "She's long forgotten you"). I have no idea if this lasted only a few performances or made it all the way to the end of the Barbican run, or somewhere in between.

During "On Parole", specifically after Valjean is underpaid for his labor and sings about his frustration, R1 uses a variation of the "Work Song" theme which, to my recollection, is heard nowhere else in the musical. It can be heard here. By R2, it was switched to an in-tune version of the number with a unique opening. The musical retains that version to this day, but in case you can't recall it you can hear it here.

Minus an unintentional line flub in "At the End of the Day" in R2, the two Barbican recordings seem to use the same libretto and score from this point until "The Runaway Cart". At this point, R1 has a rather extensive scene leading up to Valjean saving Fauchelevent, which goes approximately as follows (the dialog is difficult to make out):

(VALJEAN)

Is there anyone here who will rescue the man?

Who will help me to shoulder the weight of the cart?

I will pay any man thirty louis d’or more

I will do it myself if there’s no one who will

We can’t let him die like that down in the street

Can you all watch him die and do nothing at all?

(FAUCHELEVENT)

Don’t approach me, Monsieur Mayor

The cart’s not gonna be holding

Not my poor mother would care if I should die

(TOWNSPEOPLE)

Don't go near him, Monsieur Mayor

There's nothing at all you can do

The old man's a goner for sure

Leave him alone

Most of that dialog is deleted in R2, so that it goes directly from "Who will help me to shoulder the weight of the cart" to "Don't go near him, Monsieur Mayor". I really like the idea of the original version; it seems reasonable that Valjean, having become a more trusted man, would expect the townspeople to help him. It's more meaningful that Valjean is good enough to do what's right when there's more time to establish that no one else is. Having said that, the original version did take quite a while and didn't really contain any relevant information that wasn't in the final version. I think the cut version as heard in R2 is a good compromise and retains the general mood and pacing to make Valjean's ultimate action satisfying (something that can't be said of later cuts, as will be discussed in a future edition of this blog).

Additionally, at the end of the number Javert refers to "the mark upon his skin" in R1 and "the brand upon his skin in R2 (as well as literally every subsequent performance since then to my knowledge). I have no idea if the "mark" line was a minor flub or was actually the original lyric.

"Who Am I?" is an interesting one. The musical content is identical in R1 and R2, but in R1 after his high note, Valjean shouts "You know where to find me!" with emotion so dramatic it sits right on the border between awesome and campy. By contrast, Valjean is totally silent after his high note in R2. Neither version would see its final day just yet, although the latter certainly has become more traditional over time. More on that in future editions.

From this point until "Master of the House" everything is the same between the two recordings. Roger Allam even comes in slightly late in both "Confrontation" scenes (making his line "-jean, at last...")! However, in the opening to "Master of the House" the following lines occur in R1:

(THENARDIER)

My band of soaks, my den of dissolutes

My dirty jokes, my always pissed as newts

My sons of whores

Spend their lives in my inn

Homing pigeons flying in

They fly through my doors

And their money's good as yours

(CUSTOMERS)

Ain't got a clue what he put into his stew

Must've scraped it off the street

Hell, what a wine

Châteauneuf de Turpentine

Must've pressed it with his feet

Landlord over here

Where's the bloody man

One more for the road

One more slug of gin

Just one more or my old man is gonna do me in

All of those lines would be scrapped in R2. Personally I prefer this shortened variant than the one that would occur much later. Sure, some fun moments get lost, but nothing that actually adds any substance or characterization to the musical (unlike the later cut, which I'll discuss in a later edition of this blog). Some have speculated that this is simply lost dialog due to a tape flip of degrading, given that future performances would retain those lines. However, there is firsthand confirmation that the cuts were in fact part of the performance. To quote Trevor Nunn on page 87 of 1990's The Complete Book of Les Miserables (a page which elaborates that "the cost of overtime incurred after three hours could be crippling at a time when Les Miserables was still trying to find an audience"):

"Cameron wanted major cuts, which would have reduced its length to two and a half hours. I resisted, refusing to discuss things on those terms... Some of the other proposed cuts - like the removal of the "Master of the House" scene-setting preamble - were tried out in previews and then restored as the scenes would not work without them."

From a historical perspective that quote is invaluable. As will be brought up in a later blog post (notice a pattern today?) the musical would in fact be cut much later to avoid overtime charges. When people like myself have expressed the opinion that these cuts come at the expense of artistic integrity, I've seen others defend them by claiming that the overtime costs never were relevant to Cameron and the gang until Broadway sales began to go down, and that if they were taken into account the musical may well be in its shortened form from the beginning. However, this quote proves that argument to be false. Right from day one, the crew was aware that retaining a >3 hour runtime would come with severe financial costs, but this was deemed a worthy sacrifice in order to tell the story they wanted told. Indeed, it sounds like Cameron Mackintosh was waiting quite some time to enact his infamous cuts! (Cameron Mackintosh valuing profit above art?! Crazy, right??)

But I digress. Going back to the musical, the "Waltz of Treachery" number is mostly the same. However, after Valjean's "It won't take you too long to forget" line, R1 has over a minute of wordless vamping which leads right into the rather awkwardly-placed "Stars" song. By contrast, in R2 this vamping (which is still a minute long, mind you) leads into a humming duet between Little Cosette and Valjean, similar to the duet right before the number. A nice little bookend that makes the scene feel all the more resolved. (Much later this duet reprise would ironically be scrapped again, though!) The remaining segment of R1's vamping now plays after this sequence in R2.

Minus some unintentional missed lines at the beginning of "Stars" in R1, the recordings seem to follow the same libretto right up until "One Day More". Here, R1 uses the following lines:

(EPONINE)

One more day with him not caring

(MARIUS and COSETTE)

Was there ever love so true?

(EPONINE)

What a life I might have known

(MARIUS and COSETTE)

I was born to be with you

However, by R2 this scene is in its current form:

(EPONINE)

One more day with him not caring

(MARIUS and COSETTE)

I was born to be with you

(EPONINE)

What a life I might have known

(MARIUS and COSETTE)

And I swear I will be true

And that closes act one! Going on to the second act, the opening barricade scene has a few changes. First off, following the opening notes, R1 features a rather odd tune bearing resemblance to "Do You Hear the People Sing" (which can be heard here) before transitioning to a more true-to-form instrumental reprise of "Do You Hear the People Sing?" By contrast, R2 goes straight from the opening notes to the true-to-form reprise.

Next, Enjolras proclaims "Have faith in yourself and do not be afraid" in R1, while in R2 he instead states "Every man to his duty and don't be afraid". It's unknown if this was an intentional libretto change or if it simply reflects a flub during R1. A later sequence uses the "Have faith in yourself" line, meaning he may have just sung the wrong line for that particular scene.

Finally, R1 includes the following sequence (at least I think this is how it goes, since the lyrics are a little hard to hear):

(PROUVAIRE)

And the people will fight

(GRANTAIRE)

And join with you

Who gives a speech in the square

Fortunately, R2 uses a much less clunky (though still somewhat so) sequence:

(PROUVAIRE)

And the people will fight

(GRANTAIRE)

And so they might

Some will bark, some will bite

This isn't quite its current form ("dogs" and "fleas" will soon respectively replace the two usages of "some"), but it's pretty darn close.

I've heard that the very first Barbican preview(s?) didn't have a finalized opening to "On My Own". Sadly there is no known audio record of this, so I cannot comment on what exactly it began as. As such, the next major change takes place during Gavroche's death scene. This honestly is probably the biggest of all the changes between the two recordings. R1 uses the following death scene (in the tune of "Look Down" right up until the "So never kick a dog" verse, which is in the tune of "Little People"):

How do you do, my name’s Gavroche

These are my people, here’s my patch

Not much to look at, nothing posh

Nothing that you’d call up to scratch

Some fool, I bet, whose brains are made of fat

Picks up a gun and shoots me down

Nobody told him who he’s shooting at

He doesn’t know who runs this town

Life’s like that

There’s some folk

Missed the joke

That’s three, that’s three

That one has done for me

Too fast, too fast

They’ve got Gavroche at last

So never kick a dog

Because he’s just a pup

You better run for cover when the pup grows...

By contrast, R2 uses a much shorter variant which is set entirely to the tune of "Little People":

And little people know

When little people fight

We may look easy picking but we've got some bite

So never kick a dog

Because he's just a pup

You'd better run for cover when the pup grows up

And we'll fight like twenty armies and we won't give...

This is much closer to its current form, although the last two lines are inverted (we'll get to that in a later edition).

We now fast-forward to "Dog Eats Dog", which while recognizable is very different from the number we know today. The chorus of R1 claims that "It's a dirty great sewer that's crawling with rats", which R2 changes it to "stinking great sewer" instead. I'd definitely say the revised lyric better captures Thenardier's and the sewer's grossness.

Additionally, regarding Marius' ring, Thenardier originally exclaims that he "didn't mean to waste it, that would really be a crime". By R2, the line changes to "wouldn't want to waste it", which I'd say makes a lot more sense.

"Javert's Suicide" has changed a lot. R1 features the following remarks following "Vengeance was his and he gave me back my life":

Damned if I live in this caper of grace

Damned if I live in the debt of Valjean

I'll spit his pity right back in his face

Is this the law or has sanity gone?

(I'm a little unsure as to how accurate the final line is.)

By R2, the lines have been replaced with the current ones:

Damned if I live in the debt of a thief

Damned if I yield at the end of the chase

I am the law and the law is not mocked

I'll spit his pity right back in his face

In R1, the "Where's the new world, now the fighting's done" line is absent, and there is nothing but instrumentals in the segment where it is usually sung. By contrast, it is sung as usual in R2. My guess is that an actress simply forgot her line in R1 and it was always supposed to be there, though I can't say for sure.

The final change occurs at the wedding scene. The singing which opens the number is repeated in R1. By contrast, R2 has it sung once and then done with, as it currently is (and as it should be in my opinion, since the music isn't particularly pretty and contributes nothing to the plot).

Later in the same scene, R1 includes approximately this exchange (again, it's quite hard to make out the exact lyrics):

(THENARDIER)

I was there

Never fear

Even got me this fine souvenir

He was there

Her old dad

*indecipherable* and fleecing this lad

Robbed the dead

That's his way

(MME. THENARDIER)

That's worth five hundred any old day

(MARIUS)

I know this...

By R2, everything between "He was there" and "Any old day" were removed, which makes sense given that they essentially just rehash what was already said.

Finally, there's a subtle difference in the epilogue, specifically during the "Do You Hear the People Sing?" reprise. In R1, the ensemble sings "They will live again in glory in the garden of the Lord". R2 replaces the word "glory" with "freedom", and that word remains the one used to this day. I suppose "freedom" is more appropriate for the context of peace and prosperity. To many, I'd guess that "glory" conjures imagery of knights, battles, and the like; just the kind of violence that the characters wish to move away from! I have no idea if this was why the writers changed the lyric, but it's my hypothesis.

Towards the end of the show, the chorus in R1 sings "Even the darkest moon will end and the sun will rise". By R2, this is changed to "the darkest night". Makes more sense to me, since moons aren't known for being particularly dark!

And that just about sums this part up! If I missed anything feel free to let me know, as my goal is to create a changelog as thorough and complete as possible. I plan on making more parts in the near future covering all the changes that have been made in the show up until this day (discounting concerts). Any feedback and constructive criticism is very much appreciated.

As a side note, both for this project and my own enjoyment, I want as complete a collection of Les Miserables audios as possible. I already have most of what's commonly circulated, but if you have any audios or videos you know are rare, I'd love it if you DMed me!

Until the turntable puts me at the forefront again, good-bye...

[chaoticminhos]

swim captain (chapter three)

pairing: bang chan x reader

genre: angst 

warnings: mentions of possible sexual assault, mentions of slight violence

word count: 3.2k

a/n: look at me posting kinda consistently and shit

chan watched as you left the building with jaemin and his friends, head flooding with thoughts of you and his realization.

since when did he like you like that? he’s known you for years, why now was he falling for you? why not last year when he didn’t know who to ask to the dance or earlier this year when he needed a plus one to an important swim meet? you ended up going as minho’s date to both of those things, and chan had ended up taking some random girl.

but it didn’t matter, he couldn’t have asked you to those things as anything more than a friend anyway. whether he fell for you now or a year ago or any time, he needed to cut it out.

it felt inappropriate to have feelings for you. you were the manager of a team that he was captain of and there was a feeling of responsibility that came along with both of those positions. and even if that didn’t matter, how was he supposed to know if you thought of him any different than you thought of the rest of the boys? if anything, you seemed less interested in him than any of the other boys. he probably got one hug for every five the others got, ten if it was hyunjin or minho.

he was sure you saw him as a brother. a good friend, and that was all. you obviously didn’t see him as anything else, or you wouldn’t have left with jaemin. but that was fine, because it would be inappropriate if you did. it was inappropriate that he did.

he tried to think back and figure out when his feelings changed. he couldn’t pinpoint anything specific that would have changed the way he feels towards you, but it made sense of things. like why he had been extra focused on you the past weeks and why minho’s actions were bugging him now, even though they were the same as always. he was forced out of his train of thought when someone called his name.

“chan, you coming?” changbin called from a few feet away, the boys already heading for the door, which chan failed to realize as he was caught up in his own thoughts.

“yeah,” he began, “uh, yeah, sorry.”

he figured it best to go with the boys. they would offer some sort of distraction from the fact that you were with jaemin at that moment, and a bunch of his friends. plus, he had made a point of expressing that he was going out in his attempt to get you to stay with your team and not leave with NCT, so it would look weird if he didn’t go now.

the boys piled into felix’s car. his family had came to the meet and drove his car along with another one, leaving his since they knew the boys would want to hang out after the meet. all of the boys fit in the large crossover, but it was definitely not legal to have that many people packed into one vehicle.

finally deciding on a small ice cream shop, felix pulled into the small parking lot and shut off the car. the boys immediately stormed out of the car and into the diner.

after ordering their ice cream and sitting down, the 8 of them began to chat about the days events. chan didn’t bother to tune in much. that is, until he heard a certain subject being discussed.

“he seemed pretty nice,” seungmin joked, “you know, for someone from NCT.”

“no joke. and he’s pretty, too.” added changbin.

“hey,” felix began, “you trying to steal y/n’s man?”

chan interrupted the bantering, “what about that guy came off as nice to you guys? he was creepy! like, who walks up to a stranger and asks them to leave late at night with them and their friends? that’s weird!” he paused, “and he didn’t even acknowledge that we were there! isn’t he supposed to get, like, permission or something?”

“permission? yeah, from her dad, not her 8 annoying best friends, dumbass.” hyunjin responded.

“seriously, how are you guys so chill about this? we don’t know the kid or anyone on his team.”

“y/n’s a big girl, chan, she can handle herself.”

“against a group of that many guys?” chan scoffed, “yeah right.”

“chan, why are you automatically assuming they’re going to hurt her?”

“why are you assuming they’re not?”

“i don’t know, maybe because there’s no history of NCT being a bad school? maybe because none of those boys have a record?”

“they’re top athletes, hyunjin, you really fucking think the school would let that type of shit on a public record if anything happened? and risk their reputation?”

hyunjin let out an unamused laugh, “we’re top athletes too, chan.” he gestured to everyone around the table, “we have clean records.”

“yeah, clean as long as minho’s assault charge stays expunged.”

he mumbled, pushing his chair back and standing up, headed for the door.

minho stood up with him, moving to grab his arm and stop him from leaving, “are you forgetting i caught that charge defending y/n?”

chan shrugged his shoulders, pulling his arm from minho’s grip and continuing his path to the door, “it’s just an example, minho.”

“how are you gonna get home?” felix called before he could leave.

without turning around, chan responded, “i’ll figure it out.”

and the door shut behind him.

the 7 boys looked at each other, felix practically pulling minho back to his seat to stop him from following chan out the door. that was expected, minho was a hothead, but chan was usually calm and practical, even when upset. and he knew better than to make a scene in public.

“jesus,” jisung laughed, “he flops one race and he turns into a 2 year old having a tantrum.”

“yeah,” minho let out a scoff that the rest of the boys played off as a laugh, “because it’s race he’s pissy about.”

meanwhile, you were sat inside of a fast food restaurant surrounded by a group of curious boys.

“stray kids, huh? aren’t you going to get, like, guillotined for conversing with your enemies?” a boy, who jaemin had identified as lucas, joked.

you laughed, “nah, we keep the competition in the water.”

“tell that to that one guy, he seemed like he didn’t get that memo.” spoke another one of jaemin’s teammates, one you couldn’t remember the name of.

you cocked your head to the side in confusion, and he continued.

“blonde, curly hair. bang, maybe?”

“oh, chan!” he’s just upset about his race, i think.”

“whatever his name is, he’s scary.” spoke the boy you think introduced himself as jeno.

“yeah,” jaemin chuckled, “honestly, i thought i was gonna get my shit rocked. like maybe i’d asked his girlfriend out or something.”

you blushed, letting out a surprised laugh “girlfriend?”

did it really seem like you and chan might be a couple? did chan really seem jealous that jaemin asked you to hang out? you felt butterflies in your stomach at the idea. despite being out on a ‘date’ with jaemin and surrounded by his attractive friends, you still found yourself feeling weaker at the thought of chan than any of the boys around you at that moment.

“yeah, he did not look like he liked the idea of me asking you out, to be honest.”

you didn’t think it was possible, but your face reddened even more. before you could respond that chan was just always super protective of his team, your phone went off, signaling that you’d gotten a text message.

you held your phone up, “speak of the devil.”

channie: hey, let me know when you get home safe, yeah??

you smiled at the message, typing a quick reply.

y/n: gotcha

chan’s message reminded you that it was indeed a school night, and that you should probably head home. you slid your phone back in your pocket and turned to jaemin.

“hey, i should get going, there’s school tomorrow. see you around?”

jaemin shot you a big smile, pulling his phone from his pocket and holding it out for you.

“i would love to see you around. i’ll text you?” he questioned, to which you responded with a smile, taking the device from his hand.

you typed your number into jaemin’s phone, sending yourself a message from it so you would have his number, too.

“need a ride home?”

“no, thank you,” you replied, “i’ll call a cab or something, you stay and have fun. thanks, though!”

you called for a taxi and send a quick message to chan.

y/n: just called a taxi. on my way home.

channie: he isn’t giving you a ride?

y/n: i didn’t want one

chan, sitting in the backseat of his own cab, felt his stomach drop.

channie: did something happen? are you okay?

y/n: i’m fine, just didn’t wanna make them leave just because i wanted to head home.

chan relaxed into his seat.

y/n: how about you guys? headed home soon?

channie: i am. i’m not sure about the others.

y/n: ?

channie: i left early

y/n: still upset about the race?

chan sighed just as the taxi pulled into his driveway. he stepped out, handing a wad of cash to the driver and telling him to keep the change.

he stepped into his house and headed straight to his bedroom, falling onto his mattress. he stared at your message for a few seconds before replying.

channie: something like that.

y/n: it was probably just an off day, don’t beat yourself up about it!

chan looked at your message and tossed his phone on the bed beside him, pulling an arm over his face and groaning in frustration. he was worn out from the day, not even having the energy to shower the chlorine off of himself, he decided he was just going to go to sleep as soon as possible. just as he was nearly dozed off, his phone let out a ding.

y/n: home safe and sound! night, chan

he didn’t bother typing a reply, letting himself fall into a restless sleep.

chan woke the next morning sporting the same outfit as the day before. he grabbed for his phone to check the time, having a mini heart attack when realizing he only had 40 minutes to shower, get ready, eat, and drive to school.

he jumped up, grabbing a random assortment of clothes and headed to the bathroom. he hissed when he got into the shower and felt his skin burn, it was cracking from not having the chlorine washed off of it from the night before.

he and the rest of the boys always had cracked knuckles and chapped lips from being in chlorine so much, but it got significantly worse when the chlorine didn’t get washed off as soon as possible.

he hurried to ready himself before jumping into his car without eating anything. if he wanted to get to school on time, he’d have to skip breakfast.

chan arrived in the school with five minutes to spare, which wasn’t a completely unusual amount of time, just a bit less than he would usually like. heading to his locker, he caught sight of you standing in front of your own, staring down at your phone. he offered a small “hey” as he walked past you and opened his locker.

upon noticing him, you shut your phone off and shoved it into your back pocket.

he looked from you to his locker, speaking as he focused on putting what he needed for the day in his bag.

“have fun last night?”

“yeah! the NCT boys are super nice. you guys would love them!”

“yeah,” chan mumbled, “i’m sure i would.”

with that, you walked past him and towards your first hour class, playfully shoving him as you passed him. it earned you a small smile, and that was enough to make you think his mood from the night before had improved, but he still felt the same cloud of confusion and frustration as he watched you walk down the hallway. he hated himself for thinking it, but just for a small second, he wondered if maybe it would be easier if something had happened and you didn’t like jaemin and his friends.

you and chan didn’t share any morning classes, so he wasn’t able to see you again until lunch, and that was probably good. he decided it would be best to attempt to shove his emotions as far down as possible and act as normal around you as he could, hoping maybe the feelings would go away as quickly as they had came.

because of this, he made no attempt to sit by you at lunch, but tried to converse with you normally, just as the other boys did. just like he did before he realized his feelings towards you. the boys were making it very difficult for him to keep his calm, though, when they wouldn’t leave the topic of you and jaemin alone.

“so, y/n,” jisung teased, “you gonna leave us for NCT and your hot new boy toy?”

you threw a fry from your plate at him with a laugh, “he is not my ‘boy toy’ jisung, he’s my friend. plus, i’d never leave you guys.”

“even if NCT beats us in competition again?” minho pouted.

you smiled at the boy sat across from you on the table, leaning down to rest your elbows on the table as you spoke, “even if they beat us in comp this year.”

minho smiled at you from across the table, eyes glancing over to chan seated beside him for a moment before focusing back on you.

it was obvious to minho that chan had feelings for you, and vice versa. how no one else had caught on he had no clue.

minho thought of himself as a good friend. good friends help their friends out, and even though maybe the idea of pissing chan off after the shot he’d thrown at minho the night before could have been enough for minho to pull a stunt, it did help that good could come out of it. after all, maybe a little jealousy was the shove chan needed to finally ask you out.

minho decided that since chan wasn’t even looking at you, choosing to stare down at his food instead, he would make him look at you.

he reached cross the table and ruffled your hair, “that’s my girl.”

he snuck another glance at chan. it was apparent that although he hadn’t been looking at you, he was listening to what was happening. his head had slightly raised and his eyes were locked onto minho.

deciding to push his friends buttons a bit more, minho locked eyes with chan and cocked his head, pulling a painfully obvious fake look of concern, “you look grumpy, bud, what’s up?”

chan forced an equally fake smile back, sitting up straight and dropping his fork onto his lunch tray with a loud clang.

“just tired.”

minho hummed in response, barely acknowledging chan’s response before turning back to you.

“y/n, i gotta go to the library before lunch ends. come with?”

you nodded, not having caught on to the tension between minho and chan. it wasn’t hard to miss, especially when no one else at the table was paying it any attention either.

“actually, minho.” chan stood from his seat and placed a hand on minho’s shoulder, “coach wanted to see you. you know, about your race yesterday.”

minho raised an eyebrow, “can’t he talk to me at practice?”

“nope,” chan offered no further explanation before grabbing his tray and heading to dump it in the trash. he motioned minho to follow him, “let’s go.”

minho jogged to catch up with chan as he lead them both to an empty hallway.

“isn’t coaches office that way?” minho gestured in the opposite direction.

chan scoffed, “you know damn well that was an excuse. come on dude, stop fucking with me.”

minho raised his eyebrows, feigning innocence, “what do you mean?”

“oh my god minho, you know what i mean.”

minho shrugged, “clearly not. why else would i be asking?”

“because you’re a fucking prick.” chan muttered.

he sighed, running a hand down his face and taking a deep breath, “i know you know i like her, okay? i mean,” he put his hands up and mimicked quotation marks, “‘i would never do that to you.’” he let his hands fall to his side, “you knew before i did. so stop being an asshole. i can’t make the stupid crush go away if i’m pissed off 24-fucking-7 because you’re hitting on her.”

chan ran his hands through his hair. he’d never even admitted it to himself out loud before. this was the first time he’d heard himself say it out loud. he didn’t know if saying it out loud or telling someone would help, but minho obviously already knew. there was no harm in admitting something to someone who knew before you did.

“chan, this is how me and the rest of the boys have always been around her. like yeah, i’ve amped it up a bit recently so you’d finally get it through your thick fucking skull that you’re in love with her and i’ll calm it down again when you’ve stopped being a pussy, but it’s not something that’s going completely away. not from me, not from any of the boys, and honestly dude, probably not from jaemin. you can’t expect her to stop having fun with her friends simply because you’re crushing on her. not even when you’re dating her.” he paused before continuing, “if you end up dating her. jaemin seems to have more balls than you.”

chan groaned, “i know, minho.”

“then make a move.”

“i’m not making a move.”

minho frowned, “what? why not?”

“i’m just not, minho.” his words came out harsher than he’d intended, “but can you please just stop? just until i can shake these stupid fucking feelings, then you can go back to trying to get into her pants.”

minho shoved him, “if i wanted into y/n’s pants, i’d be in them.” he nudged chan again, “but seriously dude, why shake reciprocated feelings?”

chan finally brought his eyes to meet minho’s again, “what?”

minho feigned confusion, “what?”

“repeat that.”

“repeat what?”

“the thing you said about feelings.”

“oh,” minho began, “i said why shake the feelings?”

“that’s not what you said.”

minho frowned, “i’m pretty sure that’s what i said.”

“no,” chan pressed, “you added another word. what did you say?”

minho shook his head, pretending to think about it. “no, i think that’s like word for word what i said.”

chan shoved him, “minho, seriously, what did you say?”

instead of a proper response, minho looked towards the ceiling of the school. he’d given chan enough advice for the day.

“i think that was the bell. i gotta go. see you at practice!”

“minho!” chan yelled as minho jogged down the hallway. the bell had most definitely not sounded, “asshole.”

[franki-lew-yo]

I really hate 2d purists. No, not 2d animation. Not 2d animators.

2d purists.

The sad thing is it’s gotten to the point that I really cringe hearing any pro-2D sentiment at all. I hate the arguments I agree with because how often they're misused and weaponized by idiots.

Let me make my stance here clear - 2d is NOT appreciated and 3d is used for everything! The layman Karen-mom who doesn’t have an artistic bone in her body looks at stupidsmooth 3D Grubhub ads and assumes quality cause it “looks more real” (aka ‘rendered’). I know as much is true because I literally have a member of my family who told my sister and I that she thinks 3d is better (and also that she “tolerated THOSE movies for us kids”. Touching words. My sister was taking an animation course by the way). Combined that with the studios either using 2D for cheap stuff or finding good 2d animation too “costly”, I get it and I’m not even any animator. I'm just a worm an illustrator.

but holy HELL -

There’s a backlash from the artistic community that's it's own kind of insufferable and deserve to be addressed.

“(insert2Danimatedfilm) is better BECAUSE it's 2D!”

followed by: "Animation is a visual medium and the quality of the art affects how much the story means !!!!”  

Yes. Totally. Animation is a visual medium and the look and style is important. Sadly, people use this excuse to really obnoxious ends, insisting that design being pretty is '' everything ''. When you treat a movie more as a special effects demo I get why you talk about the artistry at hand; but I’m sorry, visuals are not the only thing important and it’s why I’m also getting sick of the sameElsafacesyndrome rants too! There’s this attitude that's reads as "but it LOOKS better fromaproductionimage/teasertrailerwhichapparentlyisindicativeof all themovieactuallyis so it MUST BE better".

-“3D should only be used to make things look realistic!”

I think I know the logic this criticism is made in response to, and that’s the Sony + Illumination films which look just as good in 2D as they do in three dimensions. I know it feels like people are twisting this medium to try and make it like a classic cartoon when by all means people can and would love a classic cartoon being a classic cartoon. That I get- From the unsung 2D animator’s perspective, that’s more than valid !

But it’s a huuuuuuge slap in the face to 3d in saying it should only be used for "realistic animation" because

1: It’s not like realistic animation could age badly or look uncanny in the next few years. It's almost like technology is constantly improving, which I guess 2d animation never did and it was always the same technique and quality as every film that came after it.

2: The industry does treat 3d as a magic-moneymaker for this reason. Just listen to these people call the 2019 LION KING “live action” as if they’re embarrassed to call it animation. It IS animation! It would be impressive if you acknowledged that what it is, but like the CATS, you basically are treating it as just a neato tool to better your live action and not it's own artform - which it is!

3: By this “three-deeonly gud when real liek in da toystories” non-logic I guess 2d should ONLY be for flowyflowy SPACE JAM cartoons and maybe some Disney*. Just that though. You can’t do anything more with 2d. It’s never supposed to be realistic I guess. Good thing Richard Williams only did 'toons' and just toons that’s why we need 3d in the world I guess.

Wait no - that’s stupid.

"I HAVE to see the “Land Before Time 14″ when it comes out! I mean it’s a 2D animated film!"

Lost in the aether that is Youtube comment chains removed from kid's videos is a stream of this very VERY stupid argument supporting the buying of the 14th LAND BEFORE TIME film because it’s supporting 2D. My sister and I can be found on that chain arguing against this stupidity. All you have is my word, but trust me: it really did happen.

I’m sorry but...no.

Unless you have a friend or a family member who worked on these movies there’s no reason to see this and ESPECIALLY no reason to insist it’s a win for the 2D community if you buy up this crap - and I'm not judging if you do like it, but come on! LAND BEFORE TIME 14 isn't where your money should go if you really like this medium.

What’s so infuriating about this argument is you can tell it’s made by nonanimators. Real animators will tell you to support their movies cause they want some respect for their artform which is why there’s such a push from the PRINCESS AND THE FROGcrowd that you SEE and LOVE every 2d thing out there, regardless of how good it is because any recognition for it is k i n d o f what they're after!

Kiddy sequel schlock isn’t even in the same ballpark as KLAUS or WOLFWALKERS; these films DID have very limited theatrical runs (Klaus so it could be nominated; Wolfwalkers in places where theaters opened up after Covid) and should have been supported because they were labors of love made by people who love animation.

As other people have already pointed out, one of the reasons for the lack of interest in 2000sera2D animation is that the only films released alongside critical+financial 3D hits were cheaper 2D films that either coincided with daytime tv shows or should have been just direct-to-video. It’s not to say art couldn’t come out of these flicks, but dayum if it wasn’t abused as much as the texture software that era's CG used... Point being, should the world ever go back to normal: If you hear about an out-of-town showing an acclaimed 2D animated film, make time to trek out and see THAT!

Don’t give your money to see yet another made-for-tv movie on the big screen because all that tells the studio is: “yeah 2d IS cheap and only good for cheap stuff let’s just keep it cheap. Only 3d is important 8D 8D 8D !!!"

“I don’t understand how it works. So it sucks.”

This text is from an ANIMATOR btw.

“I don’t understand how it works” and “it’s just some computer rendering” is the exact same wave of logic the people who prefer cgi use.

The plebian Karen I mentioned earlier? She understands the basics of 2D animation as much as you did from one of those cruddy flash classes you took in middle-school. She 'understands' the basics cuz she watched how it was made on the DVD features or maybe back on the WONDERFUL WORLD OF DISNEY. To her, the illusion is broken and she’s not impressed by 'just some drawings on paper'. You, an animator, know the process is more complicated and is intrigued by knowing how it’s made - not bored or disinterested -

Neither you nor Aunt Karen have really good cg-animation software at your house and unless you ARE a 3D animator you probably DON’T know all the ins-and-outs of how these movies are modeled, rendered, and animated.

Aunt Karen is bedazzled by them cause she doesn’t know how it works and the technical aspect makes her brain hurt so it might as well be magic and she can feel like a cool kid sharing Minion-memes. Aunt Karen is the nonartistic type who just wants to feel safe. You're not. You want to feel challenged.

I get it: you’re pissed off cause you’re in a field no one, including Aunt Karen, appreciates; told to work in cg which it's an artform you didn’t devote your life to and told to learn it cause THIS style sells! 3D is everywhere and is starting to look like 'garbage' even if you don’t animate 3D models yourself you just KNOW, I guess. Besides, you know all there is to know about 2d!! You know all there is to possibly know about this artform and have to fight this 'war' against "r e a l" animation! And I mean even when 3d software is there to use, it's not like you can actually make anything worth while in it, especially not anything that transcends the medium. Right Worthikids?

TL;DR: This argument is basically just " BWAAAAH I’M NOT GONNA USE IT I HAVE STANDARDS (a chip on my shoulder cuz art should be what I deem it to be) "

“PRINCESS AND THE FROG is-”

There’s a reason I can’t say I truly like PRINCESS AND THE FROG even though it's not even a bad movie! Like, stop reading this and watch PATF if you haven't it's good. It's my 'FROZEN', in that; I see a lot of potential in it I just think it needs some serious rewriting and that bugs me. Always have felt that way, tbh.

I dislike this movie because the response from the animation community seems to be it was perfect and the Academy was just Pixar-crazy with UP ((ftr, the Academy IS Pixar’s bitch and I personally advocate a sequel be made to WAKING SLEEPING BEAUTY about Mike Eisner’s sabotage of the 2D department at Disney which is still in place now!- but that’s a story for another day)). I’m sorry but UP was just a better story. So was CORALINE. So was FANTASTIC MR. FOX. Honest to god it feels like poor PATF is brought up as just a talking point and never for it's own worth as a labor of love - which it was! I'd like to honestly know: had PRINCESS AND THE FROG come out now and been cg if it would have even half the defenders for it because now it doesn't "look" like how a Disney movie "should" look...

If you like PatF more than the currant Disney lineup because of it's culture, it's music, it's feminism, it's black representation? Awesome. Great. Those things should be appreciated and I never want that taken away from you. But if you seriously think PatF is better just for how it was animated and looks - I lowkey may hate you.

“ALL OF DISNEY’S LATEST MOVIES SHOULD HAVE BEEN 2D! THEY ALL LOOK AWFUL IN 3D!! ALL OF THEM!”

TANGLED, FROZEN, and MOANA? Yeah. Sure. But um, e x c u s e y o u- WRECK IT RALPH sooooo doesn’t work in 2d! It could have used different between the various worlds but it’s about hopping through different video games. I’m also of the opinion that ZOOTOPIA and BIG HERO 6 are fine the way they are. Their 3d is awesome.

The latest fairy tale Disney films are really big on their place alongside the 2D canon esp in marketing. They keep trying to mimic 2D to varying results though I don't think it works as well as the movie's I'd previously mentioned. Me personally, I would love a mix of 3D and 2D technology, like if the backgrounds in FROZEN still got to be 3D but the characters were handdrawn and shaded ala KLAUS ((sweet sigh)). But even then are they truly unwatchable just based on how they're animated to you?

MOANA would have been incredible in 2D but for the record - I don't think it feels out of place in it's style. It reminds me more of a Pixar movie with the heart of a Disney classic which is it's own just as good.

“2D is the oldest form of animation and it’s being replaced.”

Actually, if we’re talking animation in film, stop motion is the earliest form of animation. The stop motion animated THE ADVENTURES OF PRINCE ACHMED and TALE OF THE FOX predate Disney’s SNOW WHITE. And yes: stop-motion IS still a form of animation even if it’s a serious of pictures taken of real life things and not drawings, so don’t you dare come at me with the "but that's not animated"/"Technically it’s LIVE ACTION" crap or I’ll envoke the spirit of Sandman to get you at night.

“Every animated film would look better in 2D! Even PIXAR would look better in 2D!”

Again, Stop Motion.

No, I mean it.

Lemme ask: Would ISLE OF DOGS or FANTASTIC MR. FOX carry any of the same effect if they were generic 90s toons? I know NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS wouldn’t. Christ, don’t even get me started on Svankmajer!

Sometimes the problem is that a movie is envisioned with a specific artform in mind. Pixar started out with toys and bugs for a reason and that’s cuz they were always gonna be a 3d studio and they needed to first overcome the placisity of the models. Over the years they’ve gotten really good at effects and blending unrealistic proportions with real textures (and also not so much- ONWARD and THE GOOD DINOSAUR really needed some different character designs and yeah, I do think would have looked better with a 2d artstyle, but not the ones they had in their films. THE GOOD DINOSAUR needed more realistic-speculative looking dinos and ONWARD needed a grittier HEAVY METAL/BLACK CAULDRON appeal to its designs.) My point being that the problems with these movies aren’t even inherently the animation as much as it is a problem of style. As someone who runs a group speculating different styles and designs for movies and tv shows I’m all for envisioning a 2D ZOOTOPIA or Bluth-inspired FNAF. That’s amazing!

But that’s also the talk of fan artists and nerds and not the professional artists working on visualizing their stories!!

Since I ate, slept, and breathed NIGHTMARE in my youth I’ll use it as an example: All the concept art ever done for TNBC was on paper and 2D was used in the final film. However, even when Tim Burton was thinking of making it just a tv special it was always going to be stop-motion. NIGHTMARE’s puppet cast do work very well in two dimensions, believe me, but the film was made as a love letter to Rankin/Bass and the art form of stop-motion. Skipping to another Henry Selick-helmed project (haha), JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH was also always envisioned as a multimedia film to give it a truly dream-like atmosphere. If you know anything about Henry Selick you’ll know he’s 1) a perfectionist, and 2) loves mixed media and different types of animation and puppetry at once. That’s why he was the perfect pick to direct TNBC at the time, why JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH and CORALINE are so beautiful and why MOONGIRL, his only fully 3d film, doesn’t have the same appeal.

As for what films I couldn’t imagine NOT being 3D? Probably; 9, Padak, Next Gen, Soul, Finding Nemo, the Toy Story films, Wreck-it-Ralph (as previously mentioned), Wall.E, Waltz with Bashir, Robots, Inside Out, Arthur Christmas, The Painting, Happy Feet, Shrek, Enter the Spiderverse, Megamind… just naming a few here.

“I want a traditionally animated film [and by that I mean a 90s-Disney/Don Bluth looking movie] of ‘x'-popular live action/stage thing!”

Okay I’m cheating a bit but it’s my blog and so I’m gonna stick this one in because it’s related.

When I see musings about wanting live-action or CGI shiz to be in 2d again a lot of the time this argument actually boils down to " I want this to look like a 90s Didney movie ". Or, if it’s about animals - " I want it to look like a Don Bluth film! "

Like...there ARE other styles of animation out there...you know that right?

Frack, Disney themselves tried different styles throughout the 90s it’s just that the peak of the Disney renaissance films (LITTLE MERMAID, BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, ALADDIN, THE LION KING) and the many imitators that followed tended to have the same look to them where only film/animation nerds kept watching into the era that was TARZAN, HERCULES, and ATLANTIS along with the kids. Aunt Karen wasn't singing Part of your World in the carride with you every day.

The Don Bluth argument is especially irritating because...what exact feeling do you WANT from a movie if it looked Bluthish? Each of the four ‘quintessential’ Bluth movies (NIMH, AMERICAN TAIL, LBT, and ALL DOGS) have such a different feel to them that’s complimented by that style; SECRET OF NIMH is a drama about wild animals trying to understand humans; LAND BEFORE TIME is even more squarely about an animal’s perspective as there’s literally no humans around; AMERICAN TAIL uses animals stowing away on the ship to tell a story about refugees; and ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN is ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN.

What the frack are you even asking for with that because I think there’s a certain flavor to the Bluth-styled oeuvre as well as the 90s Disney catalogue that would clash too much stylistically with some films.

Also come on! Like some Bluthian-style 2d would really fix THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS or SCOOB!, bite me.

I think this fixation solely on these two hand drawn styles and nothing else is based on nostalgia goggles, refusing to step outside the norm and discover different films and feelings than Disney and Bluth, and just preference. Goin back to NIGHTMARE there will always be a special place in my heart for Henry Selick’s stop motion, but I couldn’t imagine CHICKEN RUN or ANOMALISA in it's unique style.

Also I’m tired of every time there’s a "lets make an animatic to ‘x’ musical theater song" it’s reliably just Disneyesque or realistic. WHY envision an animated version of the show at all if it doesn’t have A STYLE to it??!?! I’m sorry but 90s-Disney does NOT fit CABARET!

“3D is so CHEAP now! Why can’t they just do 2D again?”

I think - on the cusp of the 2020s and the Grubhub hatedom, there ARE changing times ahead for 3d and 2d. The general public are starting to get tired of the same looking 3d films and wanting some 2d back, but they don’t have the best resources or opinions on animation to know what it is they want. Meanwhile, the animation community + industry is trying to figure out what to do and you have a lot of turmoil between the monopoly that is the industry, the high standards of the artists, and the mixed wants of the animation fanbase deciding what art needs to be.

It’s a tough business. And in the spirit of that tough business - maybe DON’T act like the means of a film’s production is solely your control, that you know best, and know definitively what the artists should have done....cuz you don't. Sorry my fellow criticalfanomanalysist-folks we DON'T and in an age of standom where fans and critics think it's okay to hackle indie animation studios about not getting their pitched cartoon out fast enough - we need to reserve these discussions to our circles and not treat them as gospel.

3d animation and 2d animation have to share this world. Stop acting like they’re either interchangeable in terms of budget, means of production, or artistry or that one has to be superior to the other.

The industry already says one art form is better (spoiler: it’s always live-action), we don’t need anymore of this purist garbage. Just stick to what you like while trying new things on the side. Be critical while also being compassionate. And remember:

[a-bang-for-your-bucky]

Welcome Home (part two)

(not my gif) 

Summary: After not speaking to her brothers for over a year, Peyton Rhodes’ life is turned upside down when her boyfriend of four years cheats on her. She uproots her life with WWE and returns home to Atlanta. She finds herself among great friends and she is finding herself again after being lost for so long.

Pairings: Cody Rhodes x OFC (Sister), Brandi Rhodes x OFC (sister), Dustin Rhodes x OFC (Sister), past Seth Rollins x OFC, future Kenny Omega x OFC (maybe?), MJFx OFC( maybe?) 

WARNINGS: SO MUCH FLUFFING FLUFF, explicit language, mentioned cheating (ONE EXPLICIT DESCRIPTION),  

A/N: I tried to post this yesterday, but tumblr was not having it. Here is part two. Enjoy<3 

Seth mentioned that WWE was traveling through Atlanta and wanted to know if he could stop by my place. I had gotten an apartment close to Brandi and Cody’s place  not long after leaving. I said sure, but I was going to have someone here with me. I invited Kenny over and told him Seth wanted to talk and that I wanted, no needed, him to be there with me. 

A knock at my door pulled me from my thoughts. Gathering myself together, I answered the door.

“Hey Princess.” Kenny Omega greeted me. I didn’t reply, I only embraced him. “You gonna invite me in?” he chuckled, hugging me tightly. I nodded against his broad chest. We released each other and moved into the apartment.

“Hey Ken.” I finally greeted him as the door closed. He smiled lightly. He knew I was still hurting.

“How are you?” He asked, sitting down on my couch. I shrugged, taking place next to him.

“Honestly, I feel worthless. Ken, I can’t explain it. I don't understand how he can still have this affect on me.” I said, no real emotion in my voice. 

“Peyton Rhodes, you are not worthless.” Kenny rebutted, shocked at my words. “You are wrestling royalty. You are talented. And honest to God, you have Kenny Omega,” He paused to point to himself, “wrapped around your pretty little finger.” He explained, grabbing my hands. “Pey, you are my best friend. You are amazing and I hate to see you think otherwise. I could kick Seth’s ass all the way back to Iowa for making you feel this way.” I laughed, scooting closer to him. 

“Kenny, thank you for coming. I couldn't do this without you.” I said, laying my head on his shoulder. He placed a light kiss to my hair.

We sat in comfortable silence for a while. Suddenly, a knock at the door, broke the silence. “I’ll get it.” Kenny said, getting up and walking to the door. Kenny looked through the peak hole on the door. Seeing the person on the other side filled him with rage, but he composed himself. Kenny opened the door. “Good evening, Seth.” 

“What are you doing here, Omega? This has nothing to do with you.” Seth growled. I had started to make my way to the door, prepared to split up an all-out brawl. I placed a hand on Kenny’s shoulder.

“Ken,” I said, he shifted over, so that Seth came into my sight. “Seth, I told you I was going to have someone with me.” 

“Yeah, but I figured it would be Brandi, hell, maybe even Cody.” I laughed at the mention of my brother’s name and shook my head. 

“Cody wants to kick your ass.” Was all I said and Kenny interjected, “For the record, so do I.” 

Kenny and I moved over to let Seth into the room because the last thing I needed was for a nosey neighbor hearing what was about to go down. The three of us moved into my dining room and sat at the table. I sat as far away from Seth as possible and Kenny moved his seat so we were shoulder to shoulder. 

“So, Seth. Explain yourself.” I offered him the room to talk. 

“I know what I did was awful and I will never forgive myself. But Pey, please believe me when I say she means nothing to me and I am so, so sorry.” he apologized. 

“She doesn’t mean anything? Then why are you engaged, Seth? I saw the fucking pictures, with the giant rock on her hand.” I scoffed, wondering why I did this in the first place. 

“She found the ring I bought for you, put it on, and took those pictures. We are not engaged.” he tried to defend himself, but something didn't feel right. I knew Mandy.

“That doesn’t change the fact that I walked in on you balls fucking deep in her in OUR locker room. Actions speak a fuck ton louder than words. I got the message. I wasted four fucking years on you. FOUR. I got pushed out of the title scene for you. I was basically demoted to a fucking escort.” I snarled, slamming my hands on the table.

Seth jumped and looked at me with sad eyes. He knew I was right, I almost ruined my career for him. "And I know Mandy. She may sleep with other people's boyfriends, but she wouldn't put on some random ring and announce she's engaged." Tears streamed down my face, and Kenny noticed, wiping them away. Seth’s sad eyes changed to jealous. 

“So what, are you guys together, now?” He asked, his voice laced with envy. Kenny whipped his head to face him. 

“If we were, which we aren’t, it wouldn’t be any of your fucking business. It’s called being a good friend.” Kenny seethed, gripping the edges of his chair. "You have no idea how much you hurt her." 

I could tell this wasn’t going to end well. “Thank you for telling me your side of the story. But this doesn’t change anything. I think it’s time for you to go.” I sighed, and moved to get up from the table. Seth rushed to my side. 

“That’s it? After everything, I only get 10 minutes to say my piece?” Seth questioned, offended. He went to touch me and I shrugged away. 

I shook my head. I was done. I heard more than I needed. “I spent the last 4 months coming to terms with what happened. And I’m finally happy. I found myself again, after being lost for so long,” I paused, trying to compose myself. “I learned to love myself again. I fell in love with wrestling again, and I’m not letting anyone take that away from me.” I explained, moving away from him, giving Kenny the chance to move between us. 

He pointed to the door, “I’ll walk you out.”

Seth accepted defeat and walked with Kenny, muttering a simple, “Bye Pey,” as he followed Kenny. Kenny opened the door, gesturing for Seth to walk out of it, but he stopped in the doorway. He turned around to face the other man. 

“I can see you care for her, hell, you might even love her. Don’t fuck it up, Omega.”  Seth advised. Kenny crossed his arms and scoffed. 

“I don’t need advice from the guy who cheated on her. I know how fucking amazing she is. Goodbye, Rollins.” Kenny began shutting the door before he was even out of the way. He flipped the lock and walked back to me.  

“Don’t cry anymore over him.” Was all Kenny said, wiping stray tears away from my face, before pulling me into a hug. That was the last night I ever cried over Seth Rollins. 

We ended up ordering pizza and watching movies that night. Kenny had passed out half way through ‘The Greatest Showman’ mumbling about how he hates musicals. His head was in my lap, and I was running my fingers through those beautiful blonde curls. He had been my rock these last four months. I don’t know what I’d do without him.

At that moment, I realized that I was falling for him and that scared the shit out of me. Kenny made it so easy though. I did my best to push those thoughts down and finish the movie, but they were never far away. 

The next morning, I woke up, surprisingly in my bed, when I remember passing out on the couch with Kenny. I got out of the bed and padded to the living room. “Ken?” I called out, not seeing him on the couch. 

“Kitchen.” He replied instantly. I walked to the kitchen, finding Kenny, brewing coffee. “Morning, Princess.” He said, handing me a cup. I took the cup happily, needing the caffeine. “How did you sleep?” He asked, sipping his own coffee. 

“I swore I fell asleep on the couch, with you passed out in my lap.” I teased him, moving back into the living room to sit. Kenny followed close behind. 

“Yeah, sorry about that. But I woke up and you looked uncomfortable, so I moved you.” He explained, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. 

I smiled, getting myself comfy on the couch. "So Omega, what are your plans for the day?" I asked before blowing on my hot beverage. 

Kenny looked at me with a huge grin on his face. Since AEW started, Kenny rarely had a day off to himself. "I'm glad you asked, princess. You have me for the whole day." 

I squealed, almost spilling my coffee. "Lazy day with take out and movies? Or do you want to get presentable and go out?" I asked him. 

"Let's get dressed. I want to spend a day out with my best girl." Kenny replied, setting his cup on the table, standing up and extending a hand for me to take. 

"What about Kayfabe? I'm a heel now, won’t that mess with that baby face image of yours?" Kenny shook his head. 

"Peyton. Fuck Kayfabe. Let's go out. Please." He smiled sweetly, batting those long eyelashes. And who could resist those grey-blue eyes. 

I sighed, “Fine, we can go out and face the world.” I turned and sauntered back to my room to get dressed. I picked a maroon cami, jeans, and converses. I threw my chocolate brown hair into a messy bun, brushed my teeth, and joined Kenny in the living room again. He had gotten dressed in a pair of jeans and a plain black tee. Fuck, he looked good. 

He lifted his head at the sound of my footsteps. He raised an eyebrow at my outfit. I shrugged it off. “Ready to go, Omega?” I asked, grabbing my leather jacket off the rack by my door. He hopped up, and out the door we went. 

Kenny insisted that he drive, even though he was not used to Atlanta traffic. “So I have a surprise.” Kenny started, I hummed in response. “I got tickets to the aquarium. It was going to be a birthday surprise, but since we are here now, they traded days.” 

“Ken! Are you serious? I haven’t been there in forever.” I bubbled, smiling so big, it hurt. “You are seriously the best friend I could ever ask for.” I had mentioned the aquarium a month ago, when we were talking about things we wanted to do but never really had the time for. I couldn’t believe he actually listened. 

“You are more than welcome, Pey. I knew it would make you happy. Plus, I don’t think I’ve ever been to one.” Kenny confessed, casting a glance my way before his eyes returned to the road. Kenny really was all work and no play. 

“Well, I am honored to pop that cherry for you, Omega.” I giggle, placing a hand over my heart. I could see Kenny roll his eyes before smiling. The rest of the drive to the aquarium was full of laughs and singing. 

“I’m sorry, but how do people listen to this?” Kenny groaned as Brantley Gilbert flowed through the speakers. 

I scoffed, feigning offense. “Brantley Gilbert is a Georgia native, show some respect. If you can’t deal with his music then we can’t be friends.” I shrugged, turning to face the window, before exploding in laughter. I couldn’t help but feel so free with him, and I hoped he felt the same way. 

Arriving at the Georgia Aquarium, we quickly parked and made our way inside. We started with the tropical diver exhibit. The fish were beautiful, but nothing compared to the adult man standing next to me, looking like a small child. 

He stepped closer to me, bending down to whisper in my ear. “It took less than 5 minutes to be noticed.” I cut my eyes to my right, where a few people were taking pictures. I smiled and shook my head. 

“Just keep smiling and let’s have fun.” I whispered back, reaching a head out to him to follow me through to the next tank. Kenny’s words were floating in the back of my head the whole time ‘Fuck kayfabe’. 

The rest of the day went by in a blur. I had never seen Kenny look so care-free. By the time we got back to my apartment that night, the wrestling world was buzzing. Kenny and I had gotten settled and were watching ‘The Mandalorian’ when Cody sent me a text with a link. 

Not sure what’s going on.

You should see this. *link*

If you need me, let me know.

I clicked the link and it opened to a headline. 

PEYTON RHODES MOVES ON WITH KENNY OMEGA. 

From one main eventer to another, Peyton Rhodes has her eyes set on the best in the business.   

Beneath the headline, it showed a picture of us with Kenny’s arm around my waist as we looked at the shark exhibit. I was pointing out sharks, and Kenny’s eyes were trained on me. I showed Kenny and he just laughed. “Let them talk, princess.” He casually threw his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into him and focused back on the show. I placed my phone on the cushion beside me, curled up closer to him, and shut out the world. 

[razorblade180]

Vol8 Review Ep1

It’s that special time of year again! Let’s get started.

I wish I recorded my reactions sometimes because I was genuinely like “Who is th- Oh finally!! Cinder backstory!!!” Then it ended. I’m happy it’s finally happening though. I’m tired of knowing nothing about her besides liking power and clothes.

This big boi has landing strips in his mouth. Salem really thought of everything.

New outfits!!! I had given up hope! Even Hazel got a redesign. I find it funny how it makes more sense with the way he fights but he’s now wearing less in the coldest region. Emerald looks really good in white and Mercury’s jacket looks like it belongs in KH3. Mainly because of the collar, but it looks cool.

Between the opening excluding Mercury in the Cinder line up, Salem blatantly telling Cinder she’s nothing but a valuable tool, and Neo looking skeptical about everything around here, I got a feeling someone might screw another person over because they’re trying to make a power play. I don’t know who but I have a feeling one of the people in this shot is going to die. My money is Cinder or Emerald. Emerald would totally try to help Cinder believe in her power or motives and Cinder ends up in a predicament where she kills Emerald to prove her “loyalty” to Salem. That would be a shock to Merc’s system. Especially after the talks in volume 6.

Awwwwwww

*inhales* I love and hate this scene all at the same time. Thank you Rooster, it’s a little of what I wanted. A team can argue. Ruby and Yang should definitely be arguing. Here’s where my anger comes in. Yang Xiao Long needs to be punched in the face. She’s been a hypocrite about telling the truth since V6 and now she’s telling Ruby that all her decisions so far haven’t gone well. Yang helped sabotage those decisions. Yang didn’t follow Ruby’s lead! She went behind her back after convincing Blake to go along with the idea to tell Robyn. Ironwood figured they out, then used it as more ground to stand on for his reasons not to trust the entire team and make the Ace Ops not think twice about arresting you. Also, it’s weird that this is where Yang wants to draw the line of what it means to be a huntress and not back down from a fight. Defending only Atlas is bad, protecting Mantle with less help is fine, but attempting to signal the entire world so they’re prepared is crazy? It’s almost like short sided thinking, and yet it isn’t? I’m very upset with her. Yang is one of my favorites.

Jaune and Oscar are officially the keepers of peace between teams. You love to see it. It makes sense. Jaune and Oscar have both shown they are the kind of people that not only just want to help people the best way they can, but also want to keep all their friends healthy and happy. Their both going on Yang’s team though so I wonder how that will shape up. Maybe the dorks will be able to grab their other two teammates and have them look inward as well as outward towards the people they hurting by being so confrontational. I mean Yang and Ruby’s talk is longest it’s been in awhile and it’s an argument! That’s terrible!

For once I’m interested in what the Ace Ops are gonna do. Like if I’d imagine a rematch with Team RWBY would go way differently now that they think Qrow killed Clover, which he kinda sorta did do that by making a bad call but....I digress. It would actually be pretty nice to see them fight the heroes while being hyper emotional as a way to break down the act of they only care about each other on a team level. Especially if Harriet cried. Yang’s talk about them only following orders would make her feel a little bit of guilt and Ruby gets a hard case of how the actions of her team have spiraled in ways she never wanted to happen. Good people hurting good people for what the sake of what they think is “right” would hit a lot harder.

As this scene happened, The US President results came in. Someone asked what I was watching and I said a councilman was just shot by Due Process. Ironwood now has two strikes against him for me. All the jokes I made about him shooting people has now gone off the deep end.

I wonder how the Winter and the Ace Ops are gonna react to no heart Ironwood. That’s gonna be fun.

All in all, strong first episode. Can’t wait for more. Ruby and Nora is totally going to yell at Yang and Ren when Oscar gets yanked into the sky on their watch. This shit is dire. 😅

[newswcanonprompts]

prompt #37 - Jedi are like Magpies and love their clones

sorry we haven’t posted in forever! to make up for it, i’m posting one of our longest and detailed prompts (maybe even the longest)- this came from a LONG discussion a few weeks back, and it was a lot of fun. this idea morphed a ton, and it became this huge thing. this is personally my favorite one, so hope you enjoy!

Jedi collect trinkets and wear them!!! Hand them to others as a very important gift

The Clones dont really get it, but they are happy

The jedi make them things like jewelry, keychains, little beaded things, colored strings, they’ll give them feathers, you name it 

Its another way to show that they are individuals, and that the jedi know them specifically 

The veteran clones have long keychain type things and the shiny clones want them very much and it’s something they look forward to 

The padawans hand the commanders things and being sad when the CC’s tell them they can’t take them into battle 

Krell gets found out earlier.

“Okay, look, i know krell is… well, he is *something* and i don’t want to accuse a master of the order but have you looked at his men?! where the hell are their keychains?!”

The padawans stage a protest at the senate because how else are they going to make sure that their troops know they are loved and get their trinkets 

This idea can get angsty really quickly (finding trinkets after battles, in ship crashes, or post-order 66), but we won’t do that because of how angsty this server already is, we need some fluff sometimes

Palaptine can commit self delete 

Clones will paint armor for padawans cause that is how they show honor and stuff 

The clones, upon figuring out what they mean, give their jedi trinkets also

Mirialan padawan holding armor they got: “ITS GREEN LIKE ME!” 

There are little figurines, some painted rocks, some little shiny things found on the battlefield

The clones who aren’t as good with their hands singing songs or telling stories

The jedi record them and keep them on little datachips that they keep on them at all times

Barriss doesn’t go bad because this is happy time

The jedi padawans start a riot / protest outside the senate building because some clones got their trinkets taken away by asshole civilians because they’re “not human”, just copies

The (now very pissed off) jedi sprung into action

If a snooty senator(s) takes away a clone’s trinket, the jedi just sit back and grind to a halt. Because if the clones, the PEOPLE WHO PROTECT THE REPUBLIC, are gonna get treated like that, the war can wait 

The jedi knights and masters just meditate wherever the padawans are protesting

This is done to ‘keep the peace’

If anakin hears a snooty senator degrade the clones, he starts ranting and shouting about their individuality and accomplishments, while pointing at each trinket.

Someone live streams this

Luminara joins in (barriss is right behind) 

Aayla too 

Luminara, anakin, aayla, tag teamed shouted speech 

Ahsoka and barriss are being held back by the CC’s (ahsoka is making some very crude hand gestures and barriss is like “i can name every bone in your body as i break it” - cause barriss has all that healer knowledge) 

Once these three are done, mace windu comes along with the council. They think mace is going to scold the three of them until mace starts shouting at the senators too. The council just lets mace do all the talking. 

This is the most watched live stream this year. It’s very funny and starts a ton of memes (obi wans face, yoda meditating, the look of “oh shit” on the original snooty senator’s face, the look of surprise on everyone when mace starts shouting too - there is also a gif made of the council looking at the situation, looking at themselves (mostly mace) and then they all step back to let mace do the talking, the clones faces when they see that three jedi and then the jedi high council are defending them)

Mace, rolling up his sleeves: “okay let’s do this” 

The senators: backing away in fear 

Obi wan might commit a war crime right now because no way people can talk about his troops like that

Obi wan: “am i allowed to kill a senator?”

Cody: “General, do not-”

This whole thing leads to a massive debate and overwhelmingly good PR for the jedi and clones

Shady sheev doesn’t like that. Good PR for the jedi? No thank you. But since this is a fixit he gets his ass kicked later on so everything’s fine (skeevy sheev has to scramble to try to fix his plans though) 

All the padawans from that one lightsaber episode (the one on ilum where the younglings got their kyber crystals) are there and SHIT’S GOING DOWN

Petro in particular is very close to kicking someone’s ass 

Caleb dume is there also.

“Master depa said we should never raise our blades in revenge or anger. But this is not revenge.” this is war, this is justice, this is defense of a defenseless group 

Padme also joins in all of this (but much more calmly)

She also might make some passive aggressive comments about the snooty senators trash outfit 

She and all her senator friends are gonna blacklist the original culprit 

Padme and bail organa (they also got help from many jedi) put in the clone rights bill the next day

In the halls outside the debate chamber, padme threatens to gut people with her hair pins if they don’t vote in her favor

sure, it’s *technically* extortion, but come on, who’s gonna stop her? those pins are pointy y’all

Anakin tried to help draft / present the bill but he spent most of his time ranting about the injustices the clones have to face (leia had to get it from someone)

Anakin, out of breath: “AND ALL YOU SENATORS JUST SIT HERE, DOING NOTHING, WHEN THEY’RE OUT THERE DYING FOR YOU-” 

Padme: “okay ani i got this, drink some water please” 

Ahsoka also jumps in 

Plo, who’s watching the debate: “little ‘soka, please don’t hurt anyone” (but he’s not about to stop her, after all these are his sons we’re talking about) 

If someone said “well they’re not slaves?” anakin would go OFF. if you thought he was angry before… you got another thing coming.

“I AM A FREED SLAVE! I KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE! THESE MEN HAVE LESS RIGHTS THAN I DID AS A SLAVE!” 

If the public doesn’t know about his childhood before, they do now

Imagine the shock 

Padme: “Ani, deep breaths, it’s gonna be okay.” 

Also padme, to the other senators: “well i mean he’s not wrong you assholes”

Padme is also making very well timed comments and suggestions. It’s the most successful day she’s had since she became senator

She’s also revealing all the senators’ dirty secrets

Padme: “oh, senator so-and-so, i released all your finances and your voting history on the holonet. I’m sure your supporters will love that you’re embezzling funds. Oh, you lost your support? Tragic.” 

The jedi also have dirt on everyone and they just casually let everything slip like they weren’t secrets 

Shady sheev Palpacreep is in his little podium thing during the debate, and he is very pissed, because his plan is getting ruined, but he can’t let it show or else people will discover the truth about him

Anakin: “isn’t it great that we’re finally doing something about it?” 

Sheev, pained: “Of course-” 

This whole debate is still live streamed - and it’s very popular

The senate who made the original comment and started all of this is #cancelled 

This is the greatest thing the galaxy has ever seen / watched because drama 

If a jedi dies, and they aren’t brought back to the temple, they are burned with the other dead on the battlefield. Young padawans take their master’s trinkets in remembrance, wanting to follow their path and have tangible proof that the master passed into the force but that they left their mark in the world

You do not burn the trinkets. Krell tried once. It almost started a jedi civil war (maybe that’s how he gets found out) 

Or maybe krell was found out because he gives zero trinkets to his men, and everyone caught on and were like “hey wtf man” 

But if you wanna make it angsty ( cough cough umbara ) then krell tells the 501st to remove / burn / throw out their trinkets or he’d do it for them 

He gives them an example by slicing a very special one that anakin and ahsoka both gave to rex 

Krell also slices one of dogma’s. It was the only one dogma had because  he was newish to the battalion at the time and wasn’t sure if accepting the trinkets was against regs or not. Krell slashes it and dogma doesn’t say anything but there were tears in his eyes 

All the jedi who find out what happened replace all the trinkets so fast. They also give krell’s men a shit ton of presents.

Krell’s men have no idea what to do with them, but they are so touched a few shed tears when they get them 

The clones get small tattoos of patterns that the little padawans drew for the men

The tattoos are small because some of them *might* just be random squiggles but the padawans looked so happy the clones just had to get them tattooed

Anakin orders japor wood with padme's bank account to make snippets for the clones because it’s not only a jedi thing, it’s from anakin's homeworld - and that’s like the highest praise you can get from him

The clones might not know exactly what it means but they know its super special 

Padme figures out a way to buy japor wood in bulk. Anakin is very touched by this 

When snooty senators start badmouthing clones, yoda just sits there and meditates to drive the senators nuts

“Sitting, i am, because stand you bitches, i cannot” 

Padme gets many trinkets from the 501st because they all *know* about her and anakin

Any trinkets that she gets she likes to incorporate into her outfits (like the warrior fashionista that she is) 

She embroiders some of them into her dresses and hairpieces 

They both get a TON of trinkets when the twins are born

Padme also gives trinkets to the 501st, some of the 212th, and all of the coruscant guard. Especially fox cause she sees all the work he does and the senators he has to deal with 

She’s besties with the coruscant guard. Like yeah, she knows the 501st and they know about her and anakin (and she’s one of them because of it) but the guard is who she’s always with

She probably wore red on debate day to represent them

[superleafygamer]

Here’s a Carly and Sam friendship analysis because I was bored

Okay so Carly and Sam are the best iCarly characters in my opinion. I’m obsessed with them so I’ll be analyzing their friendship. Let’s begin from, well, the beginning, because that’s the most convenient place to start an analysis.

Carly and Sam first met when they were in third grade. They became friends fighting over a sandwich, which is amazing, honestly. Sam originally had pushed Carly over in this moment, but from that point on, Sam has never done any physical harm to Carly since then. This shows that Sam genuinely cares about Carly, considering Sam beats everyone up. The two became best friends since that day, and have stayed together ever since. They hang out after school, get smoothies, and they even created a webshow together; iCarly.

This friendship is a perfect example of the saying “opposites attract,” as Carly and Sam are polar opposites. Carly is sweet, hardworking, and empathetic. Meanwhile Sam is lazy, unruly, and overall a jerk. Yet somehow, Carly and Sam seem perfect for each other. In fact, they even use their differences to help each other out sometimes. Sam defends Carly from bullies, Carly helps Sam stay out of juvie, etc. I’m going to further elaborate on those two examples specifically.

Sam is kind of like Carly’s personal bodyguard. Whenever someone is a jerk to Carly, or if they make her uncomfortable, Sam is quick to get at their throats and make sure they stop. Only with Carly’s permission, of course. Speaking of which, Carly is in some sort of position of power when it comes to Sam. Sam will ONLY listen to Carly, and nobody else. When Sam does something that Carly doesn’t approve of, Carly scolds her. Usually if someone told Sam to stop doing something, she would continue to do said thing out of spite. But when Carly is the one calling her out, Sam becomes immensely guilty, and then stops what she was doing. Carly doesn’t have to say much for Sam to get the idea that she’s disappointed in her actions, as she normally could just say “Sam” in a disapproving tone, and Sam would know exactly what she’s done. Carly is kind of like Sam’s moral compass; Sam can tell if she’s doing something right or wrong based on Carly’s reaction. This helps her out in the long run, due to Carly preventing her from doing anything too bad and going to juvie.

Moving on, anyone who watches the show can easily tell that Carly and Sam are very affectionate towards each other. They cuddle, give each other advice, and comfort each other when they’re upset. Carly seems to prefer physical affection from Sam, and Sam seems to prefer emotional affection from Carly, but they still appreciate both forms of affection. When Carly’s stressed out, she usually calms down by fidgeting with Sam’s hair or shoelaces, as Carly tends to feel most comfortable with someone to rely on when she’s upset. Sam allows her to do this with no complaints, and often hugs Carly to cheer her up. Then when Sam’s upset, she’s soothed by Carly’s voice in particular. She looks for comfort in what Carly has to say, and wants to be alone with her to hear every word of it. Carly makes a pretty good therapist.

When one of them notices that the other is upset, cheering them up becomes their top priority. Like in the episode “iSam’s Mom,” Carly pretends to have a panic attack in order to make Sam and her mother get along in therapy. Carly knows Sam would do anything to help her out, which is true, so Carly’s plan works. Sam notices Carly’s discomfort, and instantly gets defensive of her, so she proceeds to swiftly make amends with her mother so they can get Carly out of there. On the other hand, in the episode “iOwe You,” Sam breaks down to Carly about how much she hates her job. The reason Sam had the job in the first place was to pay back Carly(and Freddie) for all the money she owed them. But Carly encouraged Sam to quit because it was stressing her out, rather than telling her to keep the job because she wanted her money back. Sam’s happiness is a big priority to Carly, and Carly didn’t want to get the money back in this way if it meant seeing Sam this upset. Carly and Sam are always looking out for each other, and I think that’s adorable.

There are other little details that show how strong their friendship is, too, like how Sam hangs around in Carly’s apartment, with Carly even allowing her to stay the night on multiple occasions. Sam’s mom doesn’t feed her, so Carly often provides Sam with food, and openly allows her to dig into her fridge whenever she feels like it. Carly becomes somewhat motherly in a way when Sam is over, and makes her feel at home. Sam and Carly practically live together, considering the amount of time Sam spends in Carly’s apartment every day and the fact that Sam sleeps over occasionally. It’s also heavily implied that Carly and Sam have slept together in Carly’s room from time to time, because you can see them heading upstairs together when it’s getting late. They don’t seem opposed to sleeping together either, because in the episode “iGo To Japan,” Carly and Sam share a bed with no complaints or hesitation.

Carly and Sam’s friendship shines the brightest during their webshow. Carly’s the host, and Sam’s the cohost. They do everything on there together, and that’s how they like it. iCarly is a huge priority to the two of them, and it gives them more time to hang out after school. Carly and Sam do various skits on iCarly, with the most common example being “The Cowboy and the Idiot Farm Girl Who Thought the Cowboy’s Mustache Was a Squirrel.” They enjoy participating in these, and have a lot of fun brainstorming for the skits too. They’ve been webcasting weekly, except for one time in the episode “iWon’t Cancel the Show.” Sam gets arrested in this episode, which leaves Carly all alone. Carly is deeply upset about this, and doesn’t know how she’s going to do the episode without Sam, as she’s a big part of the show. Carly ends up webcasting with her older brother Spencer as the cohost, but you can tell Carly still misses Sam, especially in the Cowboy & Farm Girl skit, when Spencer fills in as the Cowboy. Once Sam comes back though, everything goes back to normal, and the two are happier than ever.

Now, this paragraph is where things get a bit more headcanon-y. Many people have pointed out that throughout the series, it seems like Sam has a crush on Carly. And honestly? I can see it. It’s a cute thought, and there are a lot of details in the show that support this. One example is Sam’s treatment towards Freddie. Freddie is Carly and Sam’s friend, who records their show. Freddie has a massive crush on Carly, and is very open about it. Sam always gets frustrated when Freddie mentions his crush, and she constantly tries to discourage him from getting his hopes up. Carly gets uncomfortable with Freddie mentioning his crush on her sometimes, so Sam beating up Freddie all the time could be seen as her defending Carly from him. Sam also possibly sees Freddie as a threat to her chances of being with Carly, so Sam’s abuse towards Freddie is probably her way of saying “back off, she’s mine.” There are also some tinier examples of Sam’s crush on Carly. These examples include Sam using various nicknames on Carly(one of them being Cupcake, which Sam used on one of her previous boyfriends frequently), Sam refusing to do anything violent to Carly despite her violent tendencies(as I’ve mentioned before), etc. But the crush thing is just a theory, and it could be nothing. Who knows.

Finally, the ending of iCarly. In the final episode “iGoodbye,” Carly’s father comes back home temporarily, before having to return to the military in Italy. Carly’s given the chance to move there with him, because he’s missed most of her childhood. You can see how upset this makes her, because she’d have to leave her whole life behind. Carly hesitantly makes the decision to go with her dad, and ends iCarly with Sam. Well, they ended it, but not really. They put it on a hiatus, with no set time for when it would be back. After this, Carly starts to get ready to leave. In past episodes when there was a threat of Carly leaving, Sam became defensive and tried her best to get Carly to stay. But this time, she knew this was the best for Carly, so she let her go. Not to say it was an easy decision, because it wasn’t. At all. Soon after Carly said her goodbyes to Spencer, Gibby, and Freddie, Sam got in the elevator with her as they left the building. She gave Carly her iconic blue remote used in iCarly, for whenever Carly needed a laugh. They said their goodbyes, and hugged each other one last time, before Carly left to get on the plane with her dad. On the plane, Carly began to rewatch every episode of iCarly on her laptop. She would miss the good times she spent with Sam, Freddie, Gibby, and Spencer, but we left this scene with Carly moving on. As Carly watched more and more episodes, she seemed to get happier and happier looking back on it all. She looked like she was ready for a new chapter of her life, and good for her, honestly. The other ending scene we got was of Sam riding her new motorcycle. Her expression was blank, like she was suppressing any emotion after the heartbreak of saying goodbye to Carly, after eight years of knowing each other. But she seemed at least slightly willing to move on the last time we saw her, as she nyoomed away on the motorcycle. And they did end up moving on, as painful as it is for me to admit. I want them to stay together😔

“iGoodbye” was the last time we saw the two together, since Carly moved to Italy, and the show ended. There’s going to be an iCarly reboot in the future, but Sam won’t be in it, so I guess Carly and Sam will never see each other again. I think I know what excuse they’re going to make for this, they’re probably just gonna say Sam moved away to live with her new best friend Cat, who is THE WORST. I would rant about how much I hate Cat and the fact that Nickelodeon completely destroyed Sam’s characterization to pair the two up, but that’s another story for another day. This is a Carly and Sam friendship analysis, not “watch Leafy cry as she talks about why ‘Sam & Cat’ is a horrible show and doesn’t deserve to exist.” I prefer to ignore the show’s existence so we’re swiftly moving on. Carly is supposedly supposed to get a new best friend in the reboot too which also makes me immensely upset, but I need to stop ranting about how much I dislike the idea of Carly and Sam making new friends, so let’s ✨not✨. I’m getting a bit off track here, so back to where I left off. Carly and Sam may not be seeing each other anymore after Carly moved to Italy, but I like to think they still communicate from time to time. Calls, texts, facetimes, etc. Their friendship was too good to just let go, and I’ve gotten very attached to them as you can tell. So I hope they’re still friends, even at a long distance🥺🥺🥺

In summary: Carly and Sam’s friendship in iCarly is ADORABLE and I absolutely love them with all of my heart, and I hope you do too. Also if you read this, you’re such a pro. You know who you are 👊😎

[eventual-ghoste]

TOG rambling

Hello! This post has to do with Andy and some revelations at the end of Force Multiplied. Spoilers I give aren’t super specific but they’re there, and I can’t promise they won’t bite.

This is also in response to a TOG discord question I couldn’t stop thinking about, regarding Andy’s history as compared to Nicky’s, as posited by Em | salzundhonig:

But Nicky's past as a crusader and his growth from his past was well received, surely that'll be the same with Andy right?

I apologize if these ramblings sound like a rant but I swear my intentions are in the spirit of debate/discourse, and they are not an attack on any individuals.

The TL;DR is: Andy has work to do. Hopefully Hollywood and Rucka don’t fuck that up.

Feel free to check/correct/call me out if I’ve misspoke anywhere here (I realize I still have a lot to learn) but IMHO, I don’t think a semblance of Andy’s growth will be well received. Or, at least, I’m not so certain it should be because, in the comics, I genuinely don’t think Andy has grown. At the end of Force Multiplied, she still defends her actions with the “this is how I grew up” argument, and says it was “a long time ago,” and as much as I love love LOVE Andromache the Scythian for her badassery and how she’s a vision of female empowerment, I can’t help but think about how I hear those words all the time from people defending themselves against racist and/or sexist comments from so-called bygone eras.

Wanna know a sad difference between those people and our beloved Andy? They apologize for what they’ve done, or who they were. As hollow as the words will sound, however unforgivable their actions, however self-serving the apology will be— Those Asshats apologize. Comic!Andy never does, not even when confronted by Nile, an African American woman who likely descends from slaves, and has undoubtedly experienced racism and discrimination on a regular basis. It’s been thousands of years and Andy doesn’t even know how to say sorry (if she ever does, kudos to whoever finds a timestamp/panel, and let me know!). Instead, Andy buries the truth of her actions with a load of justifications to the point that she becomes self-deprecating, calling herself “vermin,” concluding she’s no better than the apathetic, selfish, evil POS they hunt. She may have spent the past millennia with TOG, trying to make things right but then—

But then she gives up. She’s tired. She resigns because she doesn’t have it in her anymore to fight the injustice she once willingly and self-servingly participated in. So, on top of being incapable of apology, Andy also doesn’t vow to do better. She doesn’t accede to change.

If there is one reason for why “The Old Guard” is a fucking absolutely shitty title, is that it refers to people who refuse to accept new ideas and progress. We are in a fandom that has four canonically queer characters, three people of color, and two female leads! Maybe the irony is intentional but damn, why is it that Andy, PROTAGONIST #1, hasn’t completely caught up with the program?

And that brings me to why I think Andy’s reckoning will not be on the same level as Nicky’s. Because as popular as Kaysanova is, neither Nicky or Joe are the main protagonists of TOG.

We don’t follow Nicky or Joe (or Booker) into scenes. The men are strictly back-at-the-ranch, supporting characters. We follow Andy or Nile (who also have the most screen time, I believe, but fact-check me). Filmically speaking, we ought to value them with a measure of precedence. Their words and actions matter the most, especially Andy’s by nature of how everyone looks to her for guidance.

So, with all that in mind: How does one reconcile a beloved protagonist with a despicable past in slavery, of all things? In the wake of an international racial reckoning, how is a celebrated, white South African actress going to fulfill that role? How is production going to balance fantasy with reality? How are Rucka and other involved writers (Theron, Prince-Bythewood?) going to alter the original IP, while retaining the nuance of this moral quandry?

Forgive me for the overkill but: How is it going to happen?

I’m well aware that my thoughts are going down a rabbit hole, and I am definitely overthinking this, but as somebody who’s genuinely curious about whether Victoria Mahoney and the rest of the TOG crew will have the guts to confront the issue head-on, or if they’ll take the easy way out. Excise the bits that no one wants to talk about, much less watch in a feel-good film that TOG has become for many fans.

Whatever production ends up doing, I hope that 2O2G doesn’t end on a cliffhanging “pity Andromache” note because, damn, I’m gonna feel real uncomfortable scrolling through fandom posts, reading people defending slavery and giving the same “the past is a foreign country; they do things differently there” spiel, in order to protect a fictional character played by a conventionally-attractive cis heterosexual white woman.

(Also: If the past is so different from the present, why are there still calls for social justice? Why do ALL industries still lack diverse and equitable representation?)

Now, this is where I’ll go back to the original question and say: While I think Nicky functions well as an example for change/growth/redemption, I don’t think his change serves as a good comparison to Andy’s. I say this, even while I’m aware of double standards in gender, and even between the reception of gay characters vs lesbian characters vs etc. (re: I’m open to critique).

My line of thought stems from the fact that, canonically, Nicky always had Joe. The two have seemingly been inseparable from the moment they first killed each other. It’s likely that Joe would check Nicky whenever he said or did something wrong and offensive, and perhaps this symbiosis was mutual.

(I also have a feeling that many people easily disregarded the Christian/Muslim conflict because A) lack of knowledge in BOTH religions and B) the onscreen couple appear very much in love, especially when one is giving a beautiful monologue on the nature of their relationship. When we meet Joe and Nicky, we meet them at their best. Shout-out to interfaith couples who know more about this than my single (and secular) ass does, and might have more to say about this.)

On the other hand: Andy never had someone who was like how Joe was for Nicky. No one ever calls out Andy because A) she’s the oldest, B) she’s the lead, and C) her business card says ANDROMACHE OF SCYTHIA, WAR GOD. Yeah, she had Quynh/Noriko but— at the risk of yelling at Rucka for vilifying a queer woman of color (or praising him for not leaning on the stereotype of Asian passivity? idk, anyone got thoughts on this?)— Noriko is clearly not encouraging good behavior. Neither will Quynh if Netflix lets 2O2G be as faithful to the comics as TOG1 was.

Which means the Law 282 conversation might be…unavoidable? Somewhere along the line, we still end up in the hotel room with Andy, on the floor, pleading for her crew to not abandon her, even though she is the one who abandoned their cause.

This sets up a circumstance in which Fade Away might be spent trying to redeem Andy/Charlize Theron, bring her back to the “good side,” teaching her to be better— thereby highlighting her experience and “salvation,” rather than making a point of her past, and the reality of her actions. In other words, a “pity the white woman” fest.

(Because I’m crossing my fingers that TOG production/Netflix know better) In an effort to prevent that from happening, I wonder if Rucka will combine Force Multiplied with Fade Away for the 2O2G script. Given the series’ track record, I think it is feasible that FA’s release coincides with 2O2G’s, and that it finally resolves Andy. Whether by revitalizing her energy as a do-some-gooder, or finalizing her vulnerability by putting her 6,000 years to rest, thus handing off the reigns to Nile and a new generation of leadership.

The last thing I want to leave off with is: I don’t hate Andy. It’s a credit to Rucka and fellow writers (from film and fandom) that I don’t.

I might not love her character as enthusiastically as I used to, but that doesn’t mean I’m not amazed by her creation. She’s a female lead whose sexuality is not exploited by the male gaze; whose emotional vulnerability is not considered a hindrance to, nor an explanation for, her battle prowess; and whose unabashed queerness is not reinforced by cookie cutter stereotypes. Andromache the Scythian is AMAZING.

That doesn’t mean I’m going to excuse or ignore her most glaring and contemptible flaw. More than anything, I’d love to sweep her past under the carpet so that 2O2G can be problem-free. Like many people, I just want to enjoy a movie without getting triggered.

I want to see Quynh and Andy kiss and make up. I want to see Joe rocking Those Shorts, and a cheeky shot of Nicky appreciating his ass. I want to see Nile welcoming Booker back to the family again. Some form of group therapy would be chef’s kiss.

But something about glossing over/removing slavery from Andy’s narrative reeks of dishonesty, and reminds me that the (Hollywood) movie industry is full of people who do not want to be tainted with negative perceptions. Understandably, appearances are their livelihood— but that particular truth is something they still have to reckon with.

[crystalstar8]

Knights of the Night (ch 19)

Chapter 19

Ch 1, ch 2, ch 3, ch 4, ch 5, ch 6, ch 7, ch 8, ch 9, ch 10, ch 11, ch 12, ch 13, ch 14, ch 15, ch 16, ch 17, ch 18, ch 19

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29139240/chapters/71536491

pairing: Jungkook x oc

genre: vampire au, college au, twilight, romance

word count: 1,012

warnings: blood (obviously), kidnapping, child kidnapping, needles, France, human trafficking

notes: vampires, vampire au, college, college au, so many twilight references, blood, needles, kidnapping, children, homelessness, dance, ballet, flashbacks, romance, slow burn, probably no smut, idk yet tho, France, French things, attempted genocide, inaccurate French history, bisexual main character, @strawberriewithchocolate-blog @mozy-j  @daechwitad-2​ @zobadak​ @fallenstar-7​​​

summary: Catalina starts college in a small town all the way across the country. She doesn’t know anyone and isn’t exactly looking for friends. She just wants to focus on dance. But when she meets fellow dance major, Jimin, and adventurous, fellow freshman, Jungkook, Catalina ends up discovering a whole new side to the small college town; one that is dangerous but oh so enticing...

When Jimin finally awoke, he was met with a set of big blue eyes staring back at him. He gasped and tried to get away, but the action made his head ache something awful. He held his head in his hands and glanced up. There was a little boy sitting beside his bed staring at him…no. Not his bed. This wasn’t his bed. This was a dingy cot in the corner of a tiny cement room. The little boy was staring at him with wide eyes. He had ahead full of dark, unkempt hair. He was pale and shivering.

“What’s your name?” the boy asked.

“Jimin,” he said. He wanted to panic, but that probably wasn’t the best thing to do right now, for the sake of the child and for the sake of his still throbbing head. “What’s your name?”

“Caleb,” the boy said.

“Do you know where we are, Caleb?” Jimin asked. Caleb shook his head. It was then that he noticed the needle in his arm. The needle was connected to a tube, which ran up to a blood bag on an IV pole. His heart sank. “Fuck,” he whispered.

“That’s a bad word,” said Caleb.

“Sometimes, a situation calls for bad words,” said Jimin. Caleb smiled.

“Yeah, this situation is pretty fucking bad,” he said. Jimin’s eyes widened.

“Just don’t say that around your parents,” said Jimin. The smile fell from Caleb’s face.

“I don’t think I’m gonna see my parents again,” said Caleb.

“Why would you say that?” Jimin asked, carefully peeling the tape off holding the needle down.

“I’m not stupid,” Caleb said, picking at his sweater. “My mom told me that there’s people out there who kidnap kids and sell them. And that’s why I have to be careful with strangers. I saw a ton of people come in here and talk about prices, and they tasted my blood. It’s so creepy! I already had two roommates before you got here. Both of them got sold right away. I bet you’ll be next. The Dracula guys like pretty people who are adults more than they like kids I guess.”

“They don’t like kids?” Jimin asked.

“No,” said Caleb. “Well, they said that my blood is really good ‘cause it’s clean. But they said that kids are too much to deal with. I guess it’s a good thing.”

“Probably is,” said Jimin. He slowly pulled the needle from his arm and then reached for Caleb’s arm. Caleb let him do the same with his needle.

“They’ll get mad,” said Caleb.

“We’ll put them back in in a few hours,” said Jimin. “How often do they come in?”

“Not very often. Like, twice a day to give us food and put the needle in or take it out,” said Caleb.

“We just won’t let them take too much from us,” said Jimin. “Besides, my friends know where I am. They should be coming to rescue us soon.”

“That’s presumptuous,” said Caleb.

“That’s a big word,” said Jimin.

Caleb shrugged and said, “I learned it from a book. I like to read. Do you like reading?”

“I used to,” said Jimin. “Now I’m too busy to read. I go to college, so I have a lot of homework and dance practice.”

“You dance?” Caleb asked. “My big sister is in dance class too.”

“Oh yeah? How old is your sister?” Jimin asked.

“She’s twelve,” said Caleb. “I’m eight. I miss her, even though she’s a jerk sometimes.”

“I’m sure she misses you too,” said Jimin. “You’ll see her again. Hopefully soon.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  “You actually showed up!” Makai shouted, standing up to greet them with open arms.

               Yoongi led the way into the room, Catalina and Jungkook following behind.

               “Yoongi is the best one for this role,” said Namjoon.

               “Why? You’re the leader,” said Catalina. “I feel like they’d expect you to be the one going in.”

               Yoongi chuckled and said, “Namjoon is too nervous. He can’t act his way out of a paper bag.”

               “I…well yeah,” Namjoon said, not trying to defend himself. “I can’t act. Or lie.”

               “So, to review,” said Jungkook. “We’re acting as Yoongi’s familiars. We’ll go in, buy Jimin, and then leave?”

               “Right,” said Namjoon. “Nothing else happens that day. We’ll execute the second part of our plan another time.”

               “I suppose I was curious,” said Yoongi, shaking Makai’s hand. Makai had that easy going smile on his face. It was disarming, Catalina needed to stay focused on hating the man.

               It was nerve wracking, being able to just walk into the facility like this. Catalina had never felt this kind of adrenaline before. She tried her best to stay calm and regulate her breathing though. Namjoon warned them that vampires can basically smell fear. They can hear when a human’s heart beats faster and smell when their blood rushes quicker.

               They were standing by the desk in the middle of the lounge-like space. This was the area Catalina and Jungkook saw when they snuck in.

               “Are you looking to buy today?” Makai asked. “Or were you just in the neighborhood?”

               “I’m not sure yet,” said Yoongi. “It depends on if you have anything I like.”

               “I’ve got quite the variety,” said Makai. “And all our products are very high quality. All very healthy and clean.”

               “That’s good to know,” said Yoongi. “Most of these kinds of organizations get their products off the streets, they’re usually riddled with drugs and diseases.”

               Catalina chose not to think about why Yoongi knew that.

               Makai chuckled and said, “I have to admit, we started our company like that. We’ve improved so much over the years though. Anyway, I can give you a tour. If you’d like, there’s a waiting room in the back where your familiars can stay.”

               “No thank you,” said Yoongi. “I’d rather they stay with me. I don’t trust you just yet.”

               “What’s not to trust about this face?” Makai asked, pouting a bit. He burst into laughter. “I’m totally joking. You have no reason to trust me, you barely know me! I hope we can be friends someday though. I like you, Yoongi.”

               With that, Makai led the way deeper into the facility. The first door he opened made Catalina’s heart drop. The woman inside was limp and pale, sitting up against the wall on a cot. Her hair was thin and her lips were blue.

               “We’ve had her for a while, so I would probably let you have her for a hundred if you’re interested,” said Makai. He closed the door and continued down the hall. He pointed at a room through a pair of archways and said, “That’s the recreation room. There’s snacks, if you guys want anything.”

               “Chocolate?” Yoongi asked.

               “Haha! Sure, let’s see,” said Makai. He went in and rummaged through the cupboards. Catalina hung back with Jungkook and took his hand. He squeezed her hand back, leaning in to whisper, “Are you okay?”

               Catalina nodded, even though she was starting to feel queasy. Yoongi came back to them with a mouthful of Dove chocolate, more in his hand.

               “Jungkook will have his phone in his shirt pocket, with the camera facing out. It’ll be recording the entire time,” said Namjoon. “This way, we can map out a basic floor plan.”

               Catalina glanced at the phone in Jungkook’s shirt pocket as they were led deeper into the facility. Makai continued showing them “products”, as he called them. There were so many. Catalina didn’t know how she’d be able to leave them all here today. She hated thinking about Jimin in this situation.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

               Jimin tried his best to keep track of the days, but without any outside light source and an irregular sleeping schedule, time quickly began to blur together. He had no idea how much time had passed. He what he could though.

               He didn’t let the vampires take too much blood from him and Caleb, just enough so they wouldn’t notice a loss. He made sure he and Caleb ate everything they were given, to keep up their strength. Every few days, or so Jimin figured, they would have a break from being hooked up to the IV. During those days, they made sure to eat and move around as much as they could.

               But after a while, everything began catching up to them. They were slowly losing energy. Jimin hoped his friends would find him soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

               Seeing these people, tired and limp, and hearing Makai list off prices like they were at a car dealership made Catalina feel sick. She knew this kind of thing went on, but to see it with her own eyes was something she would never forget. She had to keep reminding herself that they would come back for these people.

               “This one is a little feisty, but if you keep her drained, she should be fine,” said Makai, closing the door on another cell. “Did you see any you liked? Did you at least like the tour?”

               Catalina’s stomach dropped. That couldn’t have been the last one. Where was Jimin? Did someone already buy him? It hasn’t even been a week!

               Jungkook took her hand and squeezed hard.

               “Do you have anything else?” Yoongi asked. His bored façade was still going strong, or maybe it wasn’t a façade. Catalina couldn’t be sure. Did he even actually care about these humans? Either way, he was doing a good job on this mission.

               “I mean, we have other humans, but they’re not ready for purchase yet,” said Makai.

               “I want to see them,” said Yoongi.

               “Sure, were you looking for something in particular?” asked Makai.

               “Eh…not exactly. I suppose I’ll know when I see it,” said Yoongi.

               Makai pointed to him and said, “I totally understand. Ya know, it’s like buying clothes. Fashion trends change so fast and I never know what I want to buy for summer, or for winter or whatever. But when I see it, I know! Can you believe the early 2000’s are coming back? It just ended! Give it a break for a bit!”

               Makai laughed heartily as he rambled on, leading them to a different hallway. He opened a few doors and introduced a few people inside. These people looked a little less tired than the others. These ones still had a bit of color in their cheeks.

               The third door he opened was the one. Jimin stared back at them with wide eyes. The fear in his eyes melted away when he saw them. But there was another set of frightened eyes staring at them from over Jimin’s shoulder.

               A child sat behind him, clutching Jimin’s t-shirt.

               Yoongi faltered. He didn’t say anything for a moment.

               “Is this the one? Are you having your moment?” Makai asked.

               “How much for both?” Yoongi asked.

               “Oh…well, the kid isn’t for sale,” Makai said.

               “Ten thousand for the kid,” said Yoongi. “One thousand for the other guy.”

               Catalina watched with amusement as Jimin pouted, glaring at Yoongi.

               “Okay, so these guys aren’t really for sale right now,” said Makai. “So you’re gonna have to-“

               “Fifty thousand for both,” said Yoongi. Makai closed his mouth.

               “Ya know what, I like you Yoongi. So I’ll give them to you for fifty and a half,” said Makai.

               “Deal,” said Yoongi. They shook hands, Makai smiling wide.

               “I’m just warning you, this one’s squirrely,” Makai said, pointing to Jimin. “And the kid is too smart for his own good. So do with that what you will.”

               “I have these guys,” Yoongi said, gesturing to Jungkook and Catalina. “I’ll be fine.”

               “Right on, man!” Makai said, slapping Yoongi on the shoulder. “Let’s go to my office.”

               Makai’s office was beautiful; the first thing Catalina noticed was the zen garden in the corner, bamboo shoots rising from the center. The whole office was dim, with stylish, plush furniture filling the space. The sound of running water brought Catalina’s attention to the black stone mini water fountain on the desk at the center of the room.

               Makai went behind the desk and pulled out two forms.

               “Are you paying cash or bitcoin?” Makai asked.

               “What the hell is bitcoin?” Yoongi asked. Makai burst into laughter.

               “Cash it is, then,” he said once he finished laughing. “Just go ahead and sign these for me real quick. This one is a nondisclosure agreement. Don’t go posting about this on social media and definitely don’t tell the cops!”

               Makai laughed again, but Catalina didn’t find any of this funny. She wanted to get out of here as soon as possible.

               “And this one is just an agreement stating that once the transaction is complete, the product is nonrefundable and fully your responsibility,” Makai said. Yoongi signed both forms, then pulled several stacks of cash out of his jacket pocket. Catalina and Jungkook’s eyes bulged. He was just carrying all that in his pocket?, Catalina thought with a start.

               Makai laughed and pointed at them. “Looks like your familiars are thinking the same thing I am. You’re gonna get robbed doing stuff like that, man! You’re stronger than the average guy, but vamps like cash too, ya know!”

               “I don’t go shopping very often,” Yoongi said, counting out the stacks of bills.

               “Clearly,” said Makai, double checking the cash, then storing it in one of the desk drawers. The two of them shook hands. “Do you want them delivered or do you want them right now?”

               “I’m parked outside,” said Yoongi. “I can take them now.”

               “Sounds good to me,” said Makai. “Just go ahead and wait outside, I’ll have someone bring them up.”

               “Don’t damage them,” said Yoongi. “I like my products pristine.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

               Jimin and the child clinging to him stayed silent as they got into the car, all the way until Jungkook parked the car in the lot of a Popeye’s just outside of town. Then they all piled out of the car and Catalina and Jungkook immediately tackled Jimin in a tight hug. Yoongi climbed out of the car slowly, then helped the child out of the back seat.

               “What’s your name kid?” Yoongi asked as Catalina and Jungkook fussed over Jimin.

               “Caleb,” he said in a quiet voice.

               “You’re safe now,” said Yoongi. “We’ll get you back to your parents.”

               Caleb’s eyes widened.

               The whole group of them went into the Popeye’s and ordered as much food as everyone wanted. Caleb squeezed into the booth with Jimin, the rest sitting on the other side.

               “These are my friends I was telling you about,” said Jimin.

               “Ooohhh,” Caleb said, eyeing all three of them as he munched on his fries.

               “Are you guys hurt at all? What was it like in there?” Jungkook asked.

               “I mean, it wasn’t even that bad,” said Jimin.

               “Yeah! It wasn’t even that bad!” said Caleb.

               “Okay, I mean, it sucked really bad, and it would have been worse if we got bought by someone else before you got there, but it worked out fine,” said Jimin.

               “Yeah, the situation was pretty fucking bad!” Caleb said, giggling and dunking his chicken strips into too much sauce.

               Catalina and Jungkook’s eyes widened. Jimin and Yoongi just laughed.

               “Don’t say that in front of your parents,” said Jimin, ruffling the kid’s hair.

               “I just can’t wait to see the look on Namjoon’s face when we bring a child home with us,” said Catalina. Yoongi groaned and put his head in his hands.

               “Yeah, I can’t wait either,” he said, sounding like he could, in fact, wait.

[drreporting]

Infections of A Different Kind of Human

3. ALL IS SOFT INSIDE

“And how long has she been like this?”

“Going on 18 hours now,” Owen explained. Ryan looked at Amelia, unconscious and tubed, with a variety of wires and lines running to her. He sighed, running his fingers through his hair, which he’d recently cut pretty short, so it didn’t do much to quell his anxiety. He couldn’t understand why Amelia had left his name on her medical forms.

“Do you have any idea why she would’ve still had you as her proxy?” Owen inquired, twiddling with the hospital band around his wrist. “I thought she would’ve updated it or something, especially after James…”

“If I remember Amelia correctly, she gambles,” Ryan accurately described, “Perhaps she gambled on your marriage working out.” How could she be so reckless? “I have no problem transferring the proxy to you, if that’s what you want,” he appreciatively offered, adding a joke after, “From one divorcee to the other.” He couldn’t take on the pressure of making life or death choices for her, and Owen would likely know all the medical jargon better than he would’ve, so it made sense to transfer it to him.

“I’m not entirely sure if I should take it,” Owen sombrely replied. When Ryan looked at him with a confused expression, he said, “We weren’t exactly in a good place when…”

“So?”

“I literally caught her cheating on me, I don’t think she’d want me making medical decisions on her behalf,” Owen put it bluntly.

“That’s pretty harsh, don’t you think?” Ryan queried, folding his arms, “Isn’t this supposed to be the love of your life, or something?”

“Yeah, but I am clearly not the love of her life anymore, so I don’t think I should be making those decisions,” Owen clarified, sternly. They were not on the best of terms when the accident had occurred and adding the consent of her medical health to that would only make things worse if she eventually woke up. “Give it to Derek, or Meredith. I think that’s best.”

“I think I’ll keep it, actually,” Ryan pondered, eyeing the trauma surgeon as he unfolded his arms, “She can decide what she wants, once she’s awake.”

Owen sighed, submitting. “Sure, why not.”

“How are the kids?” he asked, changing the subject, “How’s R junior doing?”

“He is pretty shaken up,” the red head confessed, “Rosie is…I don’t know. And the twins are pretty young, sounds think they’re coping alright. They don’t like sudden, loud noises much anymore.”

“Yeah, I could imagine,” Ryan sympathized. He walked over to Owen and patted him on his good shoulder before saying, “I’m gonna go talk to him before I leave, if that’s okay.” Without looking at him, Owen nodded, keeping his eyes on Amelia’s small frame, willing her to wake up.

The next day made it two days since Amelia had been shot, and a little over 36 hours since her surgery had been done. As per usual, there was an entourage in Amelia’s room, consisting of Derek, Meredith, Maggie, Ryan, Owen, and more recently, Tom. He’d offered to stay for the while to maintain her condition, and then hopefully query about the patient Amelia had been speaking of to him, the entire reason for his visit. They lazed about the room for most of the day, offering support to each other, and to Owen, as they patiently awaited Amelia’s outcome.

---

Sometime in the evening, they’d all received overhead pages from a nurse, all calling them to Amelia’s room.

“Tom?” Owen rasped as he all but slid into the patient room, Ryan following closely behind, “What’s going on?”

“She’s waking up,” Tom voiced calmly. He’d already called the nurse and began adjusting her pumps for the medications she was being administered when he began hearing a soft cough coming from her.

“Yes, she’s definitely waking up…”

“Well, is she going to open her eyes?”

“If you’re patient enough, Dr. Hunt…”

Amelia opened her eyes to a crowd of people standing over her. She only recognised two of them in the room and they looked…odd?

“Amelia, can you hear us?” Tom asked, shining his penlight in her eyes. Why wouldn’t she be able to hear them? What was Tom doing here?

“Can you try talking?” he asked further, offering her a cup of water with a straw in it. Amelia took the cup and had a small sip, clearing her throat as she figured out what she wanted to say first.

“Where…where am I?” she whispered hoarsely.

“You’re at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital, in Seattle,” the Hopkins neurosurgeon expertly answered, a look of concern crossing his face for a flash of a second, “Do you remember any of what happened two days ago?” Two days ago? Amelia shook her head. She looked over at Derek, then at a blonde standing next to him, holding his hand. She figured that was probably the Meredith that Addison had been speaking about. Next to her stood another blonde, more strawberry in colour. His face reeked with fear and stress, and Amelia wondered what would’ve caused him to look so horrified.

“You were in an accident a couple days ago,” Tom explained, “You were wounded, but everything’s okay now; surgery was successful.” She nodded, showing that she understood what he was saying. Looking around the room once more, she observed the faces of the people at her bedside.

“What’s the last thing you remember, Amy?” Derek offered softly, trying to coax her back from wherever in her mind she was right now.

Amelia blankly looked at him before looking away and shrugging. “I wasn’t in Seattle.”

“Do you remember me?” Ryan piped up, garnering the attention of everyone in the room for a moment. She looked at him, at his jet-black hair and icy blue eyes, his loosely fitted plaid shirt and washed-out jeans, and his soft, welcoming smile.

Shaking her head, Amelia responded, “No, but you’re very cute otherwise.” Ryan quirked an eyebrow at her, not expecting a flirtatious reply, while Owen scoffed and averted his eyes as he rolled them.

“Amelia, we met over ten years ago,” Ryan vaguely replied, trying to help her remember, “In LA?”

Amelia raised her eyebrows in shock as though she remembered something, taking another sip of her water. Ryan looked hopefully at her as she continued, “I was in LA.”

He sighed, combing his fingers through his hair. “So, then you don’t remember me…” Amelia furrowed her eyebrows, slightly annoyed that he was asking her the same question again. Why did he want her to remember something about him? “We met at a party?” Ryan explained to her.

“I’ve met a lot of men at parties,” she bluntly replied, “Excuse me if I don’t remember you exactly.”

Owen’s eyes widened. “Wait what-,”

“Okay, let’s give our patient some time to gather her thoughts; she’s only just woken up,” Tom voiced, trying to temporarily brush everything under the rug, “In the meantime, I’m going to need to see her most recent CT scans, and perhaps we can get some new ones?”

“They’re all on the tablet,” Derek explained, pointing at the device that was in Tom’s hand.

“No they’re not,” he  replied, “I imagine I’d have to access them physically in your dinosaur hospital?”

“They’re supposed to be available on the iPad.” Derek took the device from him and began scanning through his sister’s patient chart, only to find out that Tom was right. There was no file, nor record, of any brain scans done on her.

With smoke metaphorically piping through his ears, Derek stepped outside and went straight to the front desk, seeing Isaac there. His eye was still shining purple from Owen’s elbow to his face, and he had to admit that he was kind of glad now that Owen had done it. While Tom was still making his way over, the Shepherd asked, “Where are Amelia’s CT scans?”

Isaac looked up at him and furrowed his eyebrows. “I don’t know, they’re supposed to be on the system. I sent an intern to request the scans once she was out of surgery.”

“Wow you must really hate Shepherd to have done that,” Koracick chimed in as he arrived at the desk, “What did she do to you?”

“What? She didn’t do anything to me…”

“You secretly in love with her or something? Did she break your heart?” he further provoked the attending neurosurgeon, making him stand up angrily to defend his actions, “She the one who gave you the black eye?"

“No, it was me,” Owen intervened, making his presence known. Looking to Isaac, he added, “And if there’s something wrong with her brain, you’ll have more than that to worry about.”

“I’m sorry, was that a threat, Dr. Hunt?” Isaac challenged, staring him in his eye. “Perhaps I should report you to HR?”

“And maybe I should report you to the board for negligence concerning a missing CT scan on one of your patients who exhibited neurological symptoms,” he retorted. If Owen could only get his hand out of this sling and hit him, he would. Tom watched the lesser neurosurgeon with a satisfying smirk, while Derek glared at him. To say Amelia had an army, was an understatement.

Isaac wanted to respond, but he knew he was in the wrong and had possibly jeopardised the brain function of his boss by assigning an intern to do his job, so he relented. “I’ll call up CT and get it done right away.”

“Perhaps I should take over head of neuro here,” Tom teased as Isaac walked away, knowing he could be heard, “Looks like this place might fall apart without Shepherd.”

---

When Amelia awoke, she was in a patient room, lying down in bed. Owen’s head laying against the side of the bed, and she would’ve thought he was asleep if it wasn’t for his soft snoring. Weak and in pain, she was barely able to stretch her fingers to poke his head, but he felt the action and his face instantly popped up to look at her. “You’re okay,” he sighed in relief, taking her hand as he let more tears fall, fresher than the ones that fell earlier.

“What happened?” she whispered hoarsely, letting him take her hand in his two larger ones.

“You collapsed during surgery,” he explained, not sure how to explain the rest of the story, “You…Robbins said you were having an ectopic pregnancy. 8 weeks.” Amelia closed her eyes as the tears began to fall. “There was blood leaking from your fallopian tube when she went in…” The words coming out of his mouth slowly faded into the background as she absorbed the information. She couldn’t help but feel like she’d spited herself by their earlier conversation about having an abortion, as illogical as it sounded.

“…there was nothing that she could’ve done,” Owen finished, waiting for her response.

“So, I had a miscarriage,” she repeated, to which he nodded. Amelia averted her gaze and looked out the window, unsure of how to process the information, if she could.

“Are you okay?” he asked, not expecting her silence. He expected an outcry, tears, emotions all over, but there was just silence; Amelia seemed unfazed, numb. “I mean, I know you’re not okay, but…”

“I’m okay,” she said unsurely. Truthfully, she didn’t know if she was really okay, or if the emotions were just waiting to burst out of her at some untimely point in the future. It was hard to tell when all she could think of was how stupid it was that she was actually anxious earlier about how to go about raising a fifth child. Now she felt numb, the kind of numbness that came from touching ice for too long. The type of numbness that stung you after a while, and made your hand cramp.

“Is there anything you need?” he further asked, trying to determine what she might want right now, “Should I bring in the kids?”

“No, don’t bring them,” she responded, pulling her hand out of his grasp, “Can you…can I be alone?” Alone? Amelia never liked being alone with her thoughts, Owen knew this.

“Okay…are you sure?” he sought to confirm, a little disappointed that she couldn’t seem to make eye contact with him, “We don’t have to talk or anything, I could just stay here quietly?”

“Alone is fine, thanks,” she coldly answered him, still not looking in his direction. Sighing, Owen stood and left, looking back once at her small figure, still in bed, facing away from him. After that, Amelia had slowly, but surely, begun to shut him out. To the point where he no longer knew if she even had feelings.

---

“How long do I have to stay in this thing?” Amelia complained. They were in the CT room now, with Owen, Derek and Tom on the other side of the glass, awaiting her results.

Pressing a finger on the mic, Tom responded, “If you stay still and stop talking, we could be finished in less time.”

“What are you even doing here in Seattle?” she further complained as the nurse injected the dye, “Did you lose your job at Hopkins?”

“Far from it,” Koracick replied, “You called me on a consult for a patient, but you never told me who the patient was.” He turned off the mic and looked to Owen and Derek, adding, “Did she ever tell you she had a crush on me back in the day?” Derek rolled his eyes while Owen furrowed his brows in confusion; he really didn’t like this guy.

“Just do the scan,” Derek insisted, a disgusted look on his face. Tom chuckled, enjoying the discomfort he was causing amidst Amelia’s colleagues.

“Okay, scans are coming up now, stay still,” he said into the mic once more. The three doctors watched in anticipation as the scans slowly presented, one by one. As the scans showed their final forms, Derek and Tom furrowed their eyebrows in confusion, leaning in closer to assess them.

“Is that…?” Derek began, unable to say the words aloud.

“What? What’s wrong?” Owen asked, scooting closer to look at the screen, “Oh…”

“That is a…” Tom started, for once at a loss for words, “…big tumour.” He looked up at Amelia through the glass, just as she came out of the CT machine.

“So what’s wrong with my brain?” the Shepherd naively asked, noticing their horrified looks, “Do I have a slow leak bleed or something?”

“No, but you definitely have something…” Tom vaguely replied, giving the scans another once over.

—-

“So these are brain scans from over ten years ago,” Tom explained, handing Amelia the tablet to show her the images, “They were done while you were in LA, as part of your hiring process at a private practice.”

She looked at the scans. “I don’t remember this scan.”

“Yes, I know,” the neurosurgeon humoured her. He swiped the images to the left, landing on her most recent scan. “These are the scans that we took just now.” Amelia looked at the scans in front of her with a look on her face that was hard to read.

Looking up at Tom, and the rest of the doctors in the room, she sought to confirm, “I have a brain tumour?”

“You do, a grade one meningioma,” Derek confirmed, “It would explain why you called Tom. Actually, it explains a lot of things you’ve done over the past five months.” Meredith held Derek’s hand, hoping to offer up some sort of comfort as they displayed the truth for her. Truthfully, a massive brain tumour was the last thing Meredith had thought of when wondering why Amelia was so erratically crazy.

“How long has it been there?” she queried in a small voice, looking back at the scans.

“Likely around ten years or so,” Tom estimated, “You would’ve begun showing signs from a year to two years ago. Pregnancy would also speed up the growth process, so it’s hard to determine how long you’ve had it for, or when exactly you would’ve begun to show symptoms.” Looking to Owen and Derek, Tom asked, “Has she been pregnant over the last five years?” Both surgeons nodded.

“Wait a minute,” Amelia stopped them, “I was pregnant? How many times?” Pressing a hand to her chest, she added, “Oh my god, do I have kids?”

“Five times,” Owen relayed quietly, anticipating a negative reaction. He looked to Ryan, who seemed just as uncomfortable as he did, divulging this information.

“Who’s the father?” she asked slowly, looking suspiciously between Ryan and Owen.

“Me,” was the response that came out of both their mouths.

Opening her eyes even wider, the youngest Shepherd pursed her lips, saying, “Two baby daddies sounds like something that would happen to me.” Both men blushed, averting their eyes as they fiddled with the clothing they wore. “So, which one of you am I still screwing?”

“Amy!” Derek berated her.

“I don’t even like kids.”

“Looks like someone lost their filter again,” Meredith murmured coyly, receiving an eye roll from Derek.

“I am…well I was…” Owen tried to begin to explain their relationship, “We were married. We no longer are. We were together, but I don’t think we were around the time that your accident…”

“So, I am a single mother with four children and two baby daddies,” she begun, trying to make sense of the complicated situation, “And…is there an affair I should be aware of as well? Because that sounds like something I’d do.”

“Is this the tumour talking?” Ryan sought to confirm from Derek.

“I’m not even sure anymore,” Derek sighed.

“This doesn’t explain the memory loss, though,” Amelia accurately pointed out.

“Yes, that’s the only problem,” Tom agreed with her, “The seizure you suffered after your injury would’ve likely had a part to play, but we aren’t seeing anything on your scans. Now, there is a possibility that the tumour is masking it, but we won’t know until we do more testing. The other, faster option, of figuring out what’s going on in there, is surgery.”

“And when can we do surgery?”

“Amy, one step at a time,” Derek condescended his little sister.

“Says the Shepherd without a massive tumour in their head,” she sarcastically retorted, glaring at Derek.

“You need to heal and regain your strength before you can qualify to do this surgery. It is a fairly large tumour, after all; even if it’s not cancerous.”

“Let’s reassess in four weeks,” Tom suggested, taking the tablet from her, “That’ll give you time to heal from your abdominal wounds, and hopefully you’ll be able to regain some of your memories, give us a better idea of how your brain is working and healing.”

Amelia nodded. “And what do I do in the meantime? What if I don’t remember?”

“Heal, get back into your routine,” Tom offered as he slowly exited the room, “Maybe learn to like kids?”

At the mention of the word kids, Amelia gulped. “Okay…” She looked to Owen and Ryan, asking, “When should I…?”

“Maybe we should wait a little longer?” Owen offered unsurely.

“Owen, they miss her,” Ryan defended, “especially Ryan. Let them see her for a bit.”

“I don’t know much about kids, but I’m pretty sure they’d be dying to see their mom,” Amelia offered intuitively, “So…why not?” Ryan and Owen exchanged confusing looks. “What, are they gonna hate me or something?”

“Well,” Ryan was the first to speak up, “the Amelia I remember, isn’t very good with kids…”

“And I think one of them may have a bit of an affliction with your decisions,” Owen offered vaguely.

“So is that a no?” Owen and Ryan exchanged an unsteady gaze..

—-

“Are you sure that’s what you saw?”

Rosie nodded her head. “She was there with Dr. Isaac.”

“But why would she do something like that?” Ryan exclaimed, betrayed and confused by his mother’s finnicky behaviour. Rosie shrugged, hugging her arms around her shoulder as she looked around the conference room. She was having a hard time feeling compassion or guilt for her mother’s condition, after having seen her betray her father. Yet she couldn’t figure out why she jumped into action to help save her life. She felt conflicted, and numb.

“What are we gonna do if they break up for real this time?” Rosie asked her older brother. She and Ryan were far too familiar with the back and forth that appeared to always be going on between their parents. It left a consistent feeling of anxiety in the air for both of them.

“We stick together,” Ryan assured her, putting his arm around her shoulder.

“Okay guys, are you ready?” Owen asked as he came into the waiting room to collect them and take them to Amelia. Both kids shrugged, not entirely sure how they were supposed to be feeling right now. Ryan felt emotionally exhausted, while Rosie felt emotionally numb. Realistically, neither kid wanted to deal with anything right now. Rosie just wanted to go home and sleep in her own bed. And Ryan, well oddly enough there was a book he was hoping to get home and finish before all this had happened.

Stooping to their level, the father asked, “What’s going on? I thought you guys would be more excited to see your mom?”

“I am,” Ryan defended lamely, looking down at his lap. No one could ever doubt that Ryan loved his mother with all his heart. “I’m just…”

“We’re just tired, daddy,” Rosie cut in, saving the day with what she would soon learn was called a half truth, “Can we go home?”

Owen frowned, not believing the response, but going along with it. “Okay, yeah. Yeah, we can do that.” He stood up and held his hand out for Rosie, and Ryan jumped off the couch to follow them.

While Owen took the kids home, Ryan sat in the patient room, keeping Amelia company until the trauma surgeon returned. Although a bit odd, it was funny and sentimental talking to the Amelia that he had initially fallen in love with all those years ago.

Taking her hand in his, he asked, “How have you been feeling?”

“I feel like I have really bad food poisoning,” she joked, making him chuckle, “And my head is spinning with all this information.” Ryan nodded sympathetically, imagining how confusing it could be to wake up in the middle of your life and not know anything. “Where is the Owen guy? I thought he was bringing the kids.”

“Oh, he ended up taking them home,” Ryan summarized carefully, “They were pretty tired, and they’ve already missed three days of school, so you know.”

“Oh,” Amelia hummed, looking around her patient room. Mumbling softly, she insightfully stated, “Why do I get the feeling that no one is really fond of me right now?” Ryan opened his mouth and then closed it, unsure of if or how to answer her question.

“It’s a complicated situation, Amelia…”

“Feels more like everyone thinks I’m a bitch,” she retorted, looking outside her patient doors at the personnel on her floor. “I don’t blame them; I probably was a bitch.”

“They’re still dealing with the whole situation,” he explained, squeezing her hand, “A lot happened before you got injured. There were a lot of feelings in the air.” Just then, Owen finally reappeared, seeing the two talking and holding hands and choosing to wait by the nurses’ desk outside her room. Standing up and letting her hand go, Ryan added, “There’s still a lot of feelings in the air. Don’t be too harsh on him.” He patted the back of her hand before exiting the room and going to the desk to speak to Owen. “She’s all yours.”

“Hey, what’s your deal?” Owen accused him in an edgy voice. His eyes were a bit red, and he looked pretty agitated and tired, but Ryan chose to entertain his erratic behaviour still.

“What do you mean?”

“Suddenly, you’re just choosing to stay here and take care of her?” the trauma surgeon assumed, putting his hands on his hips as he tried to tower over Ryan and appear bigger. “I bet you’re real glad she doesn’t remember anything, huh? Now you two can start over…”

“Owen, you’re being unnecessarily weird,” Ryan cut him off, “Amelia is the mother of my son, I just want to make sure that she makes a full recovery.” He was being illogically aggressive, and Ryan knew it was likely because of all that had happened in the last few days, so he tried to be understanding. “I’m not jumping back in the race or anything. I’m just making sure she’s comfortable.”

“By flirting with her?”

“Hunt, I am not the enemy here.”

“Ha, where have I heard that before,” he dismissed him, ready to add to his statement before his phone rang. “This is Dr. Hunt.” Listening to the man on the other line, his anger began to escalate. “I’m on my way.”

“Hey, where are you going?” Ryan called as the trauma surgeon stormed down the hall. Owen ignored his question, making him decide to follow him out of the hospital.

“Owen!” Ryan yelled, following him to the parking lot. When he got close enough, he grabbed him by his shoulder. “Hey-,”

“What?” the surgeon asked through gritted teeth, spinning around to glare at him.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to the station,” he replied, “They found Amelia’s car, and the person who stole it.”

“And what are you planning to do when you get there?” Ryan accused, knowing Owen wasn’t thinking straight right now.

“Look, either you come with me or you don’t,” Owen said, pulling his car keys out of his wallet with his good hand, “But I’m going.” Sighing, Ryan combed his fingers through his hair as he weighed his options, realising the only one was to go with him. Amelia wouldn’t forgive him if he allowed Owen to do something ill-advised. The question now was, would he be able to stop him?