#For that warlock but heals goodness???

[verdantglow]

Okay so @plumadot’s posting about her D&D Traffic AU has made me remember how much I love my Dungeons & Traffic AU & I Must Talk About It Now.

Basically all the characters are in a modern setting, playing a rotating cast D&D game DMed by The Watchers. (I never really decided how that works. Plan was for everything in out of game space be completely mundane except for the floating purple eye behind the DM screen lol.)

But yeah! So I picked classes & heritages that the characters would pick themselves based on play styles & preferences. &, uh, here they are!

Bdubs: Firbolg, Light Domain Cleric of Helios

Of course he’s a light cleric. Of course his god is literally the god of the Sun. This man does not fuck with the night & darkness At All. (Also he wanted to be tall lol.)

BigB: (???), (???)

Okay, gonna be honest, BigB is the last one I need to make decisions for ‘cause I feel I have too many knowledge gaps about him to figure this out. Was thinking Paladin maybe??? But I will totes take input, please help me here. Only restrictions: I’d prefer if he doesn’t double up on heritage or subclass with anyone.

Cleo: Reborn, Circle of Wildfire Druid

Cleo’s gotta be a zombie, so Reborn is perfect. & who can deny Cleo the opportunity to have a skill set based entirely around setting shit on fire?

Etho: Shadar-Kai, Way of the Shadow Monk

He’s a ninja lol. Also in this AU I was thinking he & Gem would be siblings, so having him play an emotionally flat dark elf played nicely with what Gem goes with. Which…

Gem: Eladrin, Eldritch Knight Fighter

Gem had to be a fighter, that girl is a fighter through & through, but she’s definitely not playing a boring character. Eldritch Knight adds some magical flavour that goes well with her being an Eladrin. & she had to be an elf of some kind; I think she’d like the versatility & expressiveness of Eladrin.

Grian: Changeling, Pact of the Tome Warlock of the Archfey

Okay, I know this is probs controversial but hear me out. 1) Grian being a Warlock I think is just very in character. 2) Pact of the Tome lets him cast catrips from other classes & you unknowingly he’d get a kick outta that mechanic. 3) His patron is a homebrewed version of The Traveler, half way between 5e canon & Critical Role canon. Trickster vibes are real. 4) This dude has had so many skins. Changeling energy. (Also I just love changelings & Grian made the most sense to me.)

Impulse: Hill Dwarf, Forge Domain Cleric of Tharmekhûl

Another controversial one, but I’m not a fan of demon/tiefling/horned Impulse. & he legit has been a dwarf before. Hill dwarf because they get a Wisdom buff & that makes sense for Impulse. Cleric of Tharmekhûl because forge/light vibes & also he’s the god of smiths & that feels… like something Impulse would choose. (Impulse’s character is also min-max’d to hell. This man is going to win at D&D.)

Jimmy: Human, Oath of Glory Paladin of Tyr

Jimmy got overwhelmed by all the heritages & just went human for simplicity. He takes regular human rather than variant because he doesn’t want to learn all the feats & getting +1 to all stats is pretty good, right? Oath of Glory Paladin of Tyr because he really, really plays into being Lawful Good, & being The Law of the party.

Joel: Half-orc, Path of the Berserker Barbarian

Half-orc for being the closest I could get to an ogre. Path of the Berserker because he’s all about The Rage.

Lizzie: High Elf, School of Enchantment Wizard

Idk Lizzie just has big Wizard vibes to me, but like. Not the best wizard. Like she’s powerful, but rolls shit. She couldn’t get anyone to sleep in the Secret Life campaign because her DC is kinda low & everyone kept making their saves. (Except Joel. He failed his save on purpose. <3) High Elf for Queen Lizzie.

Martyn: Tiefling, Swashbuckler Fighter

Another natural fighter choice imo, but Swashbuckler for The Performance. Tiefling because he’s a bit impish & also so he can have Thaumaturgy to constantly scare everyone with monster/mob noises.

Mumbo: Rock Gnome, School of Evocation Wizard

I need to Mumbo to be a glass canon. School of Evocation Wizard does that so well. He can blow shit up so good, but he takes one hit & he’s out. Rock gnome because he just wanted to be a little guy & so he can be a Tinker.

Pearl: Wood Elf, Beastmaster Ranger

Beastmaster Ranger so she can have Tilly as an animal companion. Also more combat than magic focused, ‘cause that feels right? Elf because that’s her vibe, wood elf because it made sense for her build.

Ren: Werewolf Shifter (Doglike), Bannerette Fighter

Ren really wanted to be a fighter, but he put all his points in charisma RIP. So yeah, he’s the fighter class that does the least actual fighting lol. Doglike werewolf because of course.

Scar: Half-elf, Wild Magic Sorcerer/School of Eloquence Bard multiclass

His first few levels were in sorcerer, to reflect his absolutely bonkers all or nothing luck. School of Eloquence because he’s the type to talk his way out of most any situation he can. Also: Scar is 100% a charisma caster. (He still uses a longbow, don’t worry; he gets proficiency with it from being a half-elf.)

Scott: Fairy, Lunar Sorceror

I have changed my mind the most about Scott. Landed on Fairy, because the Vibes. Sorcerer because I felt he’d have innate magic, Lunar because it gives him access to a wide variety of spells that make sense for him. (Like Shield. He uses Shield all the time. Can’t hit this man, no sir.)

Skizz: Protector Aassimar, Path of the Ancestral Guardians Barbarian

He attac, he protec. & most importantly, he place high value on bonds between folks. So giving him Ancestral Guardians just… yeah.

Tango: Fire Genasi, Battlesmith Artificer

I don’t think I need to explain this much. His Steel Defender is an Iron Golem.

[rennybu]

hehe... tagged for wip wheneverdsday by @vakarians-babe and @brother-genitivi ... happy friday everybody

(Tzip (left) is @jawsandbones​ character!)

[spillurhearts]

self-inserting too hard in 1hp club i forgot i was inserting in a comedy. anyways look at kinda deranged chaotic neutral warlock heaven

[forcedhesitation]

watching astarion's horde of undead summons follow us around is the funniest thing to me. just another day in baldur's gate, citizens, nothing to worry about here! carry on and don't mind the smell of rotting flesh!

[devilagent]

thinking about how big finnish audios blair is "canonly" in a leviathan box on the ocean floor and inside of the box he's in a fantasy reality with a fake maggie evans (weird. lame. relying on maggie again for nicholas happiness. hes in the ocean in a box. why would you do this)

vs my epic chad nicholas blair who has a weird daughter and lives at the blair house doing warlock schemes on the regular (good character growth. entertaining. fun to see him in new situations. not weird.)

[baylardian-1]

was doodling me and @maliciousalice's WoW characters we've been playing as lately hehe :3

disclaimer i havent had a ref of either of them on me this entire time so they could easily be super inaccurate im just going for the vibe FOR REAL

[where-is-my-sanity-daaaave]

I really need to finish making F1 Drivers into D&D Characters before one of them gets yeeted from the grid.

[catinfroghat]

I still like gale the most closely followed by lae'zel I think... She has such sad eyes sometimes

[wizardnuke]

i don't want to be at work i want to play baldur gate

[cwunchi]

ok what I'm thinking for derrada is something like. swashbuckler rogue / divine soul sorc / efreeti genielock. probably like a 3/1/1 -> 13/6/1 (or maybe 14/5/1)

[marinecorvid]

oh mccu summer would definitely be an aasimar in dnd world. druid or cleric? or multiclass

[mobbothetrue]

I’m doing an honour mode run of Baldur’s Gate 3 (just barely into the underdark) and it’s been going great

I mean there have been some. Uh. Extremely dicey fights. Including one where I was three hp away from a tpk. but generally okay

One big exception though. So I’m playing a chaotic good tiefling, Sephira, so ofc she sympathizes with the refugees and goes off to the goblin camp to take em out. No problems. Gut gets korilla’d, Minthara I did try to keep alive but she was on 6 hp and the game showed me a button that said ‘hellish rebuke’ and uh. One thing led to another you know how it is. and. I don’t remember the third guy. Zirg? Zorg? Dror Raglzin? Something like that. He got barreled. No problem, easy peasy, let’s go to the grove and get our party :)

I walk in using Karlach, bc usually every time I go to the grove for the party Zevlor will NOT let me talk to any of the npc’s behind him and I wanna do that. So Karlach triggers dialogue and I break Sephira off from the group to chat with some npcs.

At this point, four things worth noting.

One: I (erroneously, it seems) recall there is a way to revive Minthara,,, but I left her body in the goblin camp.

Two: I intended, initially, to ignore the creche entirely and just go through the underdark… but the entrance to the underdark is in the goblin camp.

Three: after you kill the leaders, the entire goblin camp aggros on sight.

Four: I am on a voice call with a friend, meaning, instead of this being something I am thinking inside of my brain I am saying it out loud and as a visual aid to the story I have my map open and my cursor hovering over the fast travel point to the goblin camp.

I’m sure you can guess what I clicked by accident.

Thankfully, (ohmygod), because Sephira was separate from the group when I did that, only she went. Switching back to Karlach and triggering the party got Sephira out. Phew.

Do the party. Nearly accidentally romance Gale for the second playthrough in a row. Drinking, merry times, wheeeee!

Parties over. Next day. I have a bunch of loot to sell so I grab it and exit the camp.

Loading screen. Loading screen. Sounds of initiative being rolled. Loading screen paired with the worst sinking dread I have ever experienced.

It put me back in the fucking goblin camp.

By some sheer stroke of fate, despite the party being together, everyone else went to the emerald grove, but that thirty seconds I spent unable to see… holy shit. So fucking scary. Sephira gets the absolute shit murdered out of her.

How do I make sure this never ever happens again.

Be more careful? Make sure I don’t click things by accident?

I get to level five and proceed to slaughter the entire camp. I used the bridge as a funnel for em, set up a grease puddle to keep them back, had Sephira plant a cloud of daggers right in the middle for them to run into, Gale on standby with a fireball once enough of them clumped up, and Karlach hucking this cool spear I (found? Bought??? I don’t remember) to pick off the little guys.

Astarion is back in camp hanging out with Withers in case things go wrong, but they don’t. In fact, things go so right that the only character to leave the fight worse than they entered is…. Astarion. somehow. Yeah I don’t know what he got up to when I wasn’t looking but he lost like 8 hp.

Anyway long story short: got a problem? Could being careful fix it? No. Wrong. Blender.

[kalach-cha]

sorlock this, hexadin that. we need some love for roguelocks

[andsotheuniverseended]

@floralprintshark replied to your post:

holy shit she has so much going on O-O a+++ multiclass combo tho, i love it!!! 

haha yeah she’s a wild time and a ton of fun to play

so far this multiclass is making Snow an absolute beast at healing, its real good

[residentinsomniacartist]

wait wait wait guys have you ever thought about how the Mighty Nein are everything they shouldn’t be upon first glance

no no guys guys listen to me they’re all the antithesis of what they’re meant to be and that’s why they’re such amazing and heartfelt characters

like, Caleb is a wizard who’s afraid of his own fire magic. his own power causes him to falter in battle. his strongest spells are his most dangerous to himself. wizards are supposed to be prideful of their magic, but Caleb’s is the reason he hates himself

Beau is a monk who never wanted to be. her job is one that people normally associate with being calm and collected and Beau was a wild rebellious kid who got dragged into this line of work against her will. she never wanted to be this!! but now she is and she’s gotta deal with it!!

Fjord is a warlock who never wanted power from his pact, which is why you’d think a warlock would make their pact at all. but no. Fjord made his pact because he wanted to live, not because he wanted power. he was a scared orphan who hated his tusks, not a buff, muscled, angry half-orc like people assumed

Nott is NOT, that’s the whole crux of her narrative! she wasn’t pretty, like a halfling girl was supposed to be. she wasn’t a goblin, she was just transformed into one. and not only that, but despite being a three-foot-tall alcoholic kleptomaniac, she’s the mom of the group!

Jester is a Cleric whose god isn’t actually a god and who would much rather bash bad guys over the head with her lollipop than have to stop and heal her friends!! she’s a bubbly, optimistic ray-of-sunshine, but you know when she says she’s gonna change the world with friendship she means it as a threat

Mollymauk is an amnesiac, but he doesn’t want to remember who he was. if you ask him, that wasn’t him! he might be a flirtatious hedonistic carnie, but he’s also single-mindedly devoted to making the world a better and more loved place than it was when he found it. he’s a liar, but he means well. he’s an arrogant fool, yes, but he’s right! he did it! he left it better!

Caduceus seems like he’d be creepy and grim from growing up in a graveyard, but he’s actually the most chill out of the entire Nein by far. he’s calm, he’s sweet, and he’s comforting, more than anything else. you’d think he’d be amazed by seeing the outside world for the first time, but he spends the whole time knowing that one day he’ll return home, that he wasn’t supposed to be the one to leave

Yasha is a barbarian with skeletal wings and a dramatic, monochromatic look, but she’s a complete sweetheart. she’s Molly’s best friend, she was a carnival bouncer, she’s a lesbian disaster who collects pressed flowers in a book out of love for the wife she lost. those black wings were actually hiding soft white feathers

Essek was born straight into the den of politics, he was a spymaster, he literally started a war for his own gain, and yet. he’s sounds irredeemable on paper, but. he’s not!! sure, the Nein kind of have to drag his alignment kicking and screaming into neutral, but they manage it. Essek learns and grows and he overcomes his nature. he becomes good, against all odds

guys guys guys don’t you see it!! look at them!!they’re such compelling characters!! they’re everything they’re not supposed to be!! dude y’all how didn’t I realize this earlier!! they subvert their narratives in the most interesting ways ever and I justhshsbhshshsjnsmshsnhsfn!!

[franavu]

While the Archheart's plan seems completely in character for a chaotic god who just wants out of their current situation (kudos to Abubakar), it's also an absolutely terrible idea. Let's say the absolutely best case scenario is going to happen. In that best case:

Imogen and/or Fearne can control Predathos enough that they're not completely erased (this would be the least important part in the grand scheme of things.)

When Predathos is syphoned from the moon it only takes the energy and doesn't cause the moon to crack/explode/implode, causing it to rain chunks of moon down on Exandria.

All the gods actually leave. This is not a certainty as per Taliesin the Wildmother has invested so much of herself in the world that she likely can't leave. I would imagine that that means that the Lawbearer is sticking around as well. Not to mention what would happen to the Chained Oblivion, it's not the same as the other gods, and as far as I know it only showed up sometime during the schism. (Is it even prey for Predathos? Is it of the same species? Would there be a Chained Oblivion Predathos Kaiju battle, with Exandria as the battleground? Who knows?)

On the way out the lower and higher planes get locked down so there is no extraplanar invasion. (The biggest worry would be demons/devils but I can imagine planetars etc. can make a problem of themselves if they see a good cause)

On the way out Predathos doesn't decide to snack on lesser divine beings/things (Uk'otoa, parts of the Luxon, etc) leaving its mutating properties behind. (see the Savalir wood)

The bloody bridge gets dissolved and doesn't tear Exandria's magic apart.

Now, in the absolute best case scenario, none of the above is going to be a problem. Regardless, what is going to be a problem:

Divine magic is going to be weakened at the least. The number of divine healers is going to tank, and while there are lesser beings that can grant divine magic, and it is possible, but difficult, to wield it without any (see Calamity). That's going to take a while to sort out, and in the meantime there's going to be a lot less healing.

A lot of things that got out during the Solstice are still out, like the Phoenix thing that is similar to Uk'otoa (which is probably out again as well) and they are a lot more difficult to seal without divine aid.

There is also still a significant invasion force of Ruidians that are going to be a problem, not to mention the Ruby Vanguard

With the gods gone, a lot of semi-divine powers, whether good or bad, are going to be empowered through new followers and/or warlock pacts, without anyone to keep them in line (again, see Artagan or Uk'otoa)

Vasselheim, the oldest city in the world, is going to have massive issues of at least morale, and is likely not going to be in a state to do anything outside of its own borders.

Other political entities are also going to be looking inwards, consolidating their own resources, and shedding their pereferies. I'd say that, for example, the Dwendalian Empire is likely going to shrink. Countries that are less effected by the loss of the gods, may very well go to war. Places that have been protected by the gods are going to lose that protection, Niirdal-Poc and the other cities which were protected by the Wildmother are probaly going to be run over by the Iron Authority.

Outside of actual war, demagogues, warlords, cult leaders, etc. are going to spring up in the chaos, with various degrees of violence.

And finally there is the biggest problem, wizards. Since long before the Calamity the holy grail of magic was ascension to godhood, and now the thrones are empty. A whole bunch of wizards are going to try for them, and in the best case scenario they fail and only take a chunk of empty countryside with them. In the worst case they succeed, seeing that wizards who's ambition is godhood absolutely should not have it. And now there is no divine gate or other deities to curtail them. So there'll soon be a new, worse pantheon.

So the Archheart is right, there will be a new balance, but as that usually goes, the new balance is going to be built on a pile of corpses, and is likely going to be worse than the previous one.

But hey,