#For 'obvious reasons' - John H Watson

[queerclarkkent]

Don't romanticise the Victorian era this and don't romanticise the victorian era that

I know it had Cholera

But what am I supposed to do?

It's where my favourite unhealthy twink and his doctor-soldier-author male wife live what do you want me to do about it?

[anneangel]

Sherlock Holmes: I'm looking for someone to share 221B Baker Street. John H. Watson: I consider myself qualified to fill this gap. Sherlock Holmes: I'm also looking for someone loyal and trustworthy, who doesn't ask stupid things, does what I say, ignores my experiments and chemicals around the apartment, doesn't mind customers showing up at any time of the day or midnight, someone helpful and who accompanies me in investigations, participates with me in police and criminal investigations even if it bring subsequent risks, praises me until I blush, doesn't try to steal the spotlight for themselves and, instead, makes me the protagonist of a investigative detective story that lasts for years and years, who understands my ego, is tolerant with my drug use, is not spiteful and forgives me whenever I'm overly practical seeming like an reasoning-machine without emotionless, someone who does not feel personally attacked every time I leave you out of my plans and understand my silence and preference for not being a sociable person, and someone that only tell stories about me when I want to disclose and give permission for it, someone who knows how to list more positives things than negatives about me naturally, be a true friend and partner in easy and difficult times, and stays by my side regardless of the circumstances and holds me in the highest esteem, proving our productive and irreverent union as a dynamic duo. John H. Watson: Hey, that's a lot of requirements. But consider myself capable. I want to try. Where do I sign? Can I test this for a month? Sherlock Holmes: my dear, if you stay for a month, it's a sign that you'll be addicted to my queerly peculiar and unique presence for the rest of your life. If gets for a month, you might even try to leave me, but you'll come back. You'll come back. John H. Watson: Interesting. Where do I sign? Sherlock Holmes: you already love my presence, you are already fascinated. John H. Watson: Is it obvious? Sherlock Holmes: don't break the clauses, my dear, no stupid questions. You haven't broken eye contact with me since we started this conversation, you've been smiling since the beginning, you've looked at my appearance and haven't been shaken by what I said, you lean towards me as I speak, showing interest, you mirror my movements. More important, you seems nervous and wants to please me. And add, you likes read mysteries romances. And have a callus on your right little finger, you like to write down your experiences and you do it often, if you are going to live with me, you 'll write about our adventures because you 'll be part of them. On the other hand, you went to war and suffered injuries, but you don't complain about the service provided, this shows altruism and subservience, and you chose medicine, not for money but because you care about others more than yourself, it is a profession which demands care for the lives of others. And you are too empathetic towards others. So it's clear that you wouldn't mind putting me first, you 're humble. More, is eager for adrenaline and is particularly curious about what I can offer to you. John H. Watson: Bless my, this is fantastic, you are incredible, brilliant. Sherlock Holmes: That's promising. John H. Watson: Couldn't agree more, bless Stamford.

[jinxedshapeshifter]

the promised Ryulock/Homumiko essay

So a few days ago, I made this post as a joke about the fact that there's just as much evidence for Ryulock as there is for Homumiko and left it on "In this essay, I will" because I thought it would be funny. I have decided to follow up on that joking comment because I feel like it (but also I'm with everyone who questions how/why Ryulock isn't more popular, you have two games' worth of content. I also mentioned at some point that I wanted to analyze the similarities between Sholmes's dynamic with Ryunosuke and his dynamic with Mikotoba). So, here's a Ryulock and Homumiko essay. Spoilers for both The Great Ace Attorney: Adventures and The Great Ace Attorney 2: Resolve will be present here, you have been warned.

Part 1: Ryunosuke's Role in Sholmes's Life

From their first meeting in The Adventure of the Unbreakable Speckled Band, Ryunosuke has fulfilled a specific role in Sholmes's life. The role of John H. Watson. This isn't as obvious as Mikotoba's dynamic with Sholmes (in fact, I never really acknowledged that Ryunosuke was fulfilling the role of Waston until after I finished the duology, and posted about Sholmes and Mikotoba's dynamic reminding me of Sherlock Holmes and John Watson), but it's still notable enough that The Watson is a trope under Ryunosuke's tropes on the TVTropes page for The Great Ace Attorney's main cast.

We can go even further and compare the third Dance of Deduction in The Adventure of the Unbreakable Speckled Band to the last Dance of Deduction in the duology (the former involving Ryu and Sholmes and the latter involving Sholmes and Mikotoba). In both, Sholmes is taking the situation seriously; he just found out that Kazuma was Ryunosuke's best friend in Speckled Band and so wanted to find the truth about what happened so Ryunosuke couldn't be incriminated anymore, and he was on a time crunch to find Jigoku in The Resolve of Ryunosuke Naruhodo because Jigoku was on his way out of Europe. Both have Sholmes taking the deduction incredibly seriously compared to his other deductions, and they involve Ryunosuke and Mikotoba essentially filling in the blanks for Sholmes, instead of correcting him like the other deductions in the duology.

Ryunouke keeps this role throughout the rest of the duology. Sholmes shows up at the scene of a crime Ryu's client is accused of, they investigate the crime together and do a dance of deduction, and they figure out what happened; this usually (always) seems unrelated to the case, before it gets revealed that it is related to the case. The primary difference between Sholmes's dynamic with Miktoba and his dynamic with Ryunosuke here is that Sholmes's dances of deduction always benefit Ryunosuke in more ways than one, and they're usually important to his case. Basically, Ryunosuke being a lawyer slightly changes his dynamic with Sholmes, because one of the purposes of Ryu and Sholmes's dances of deduction is for Ryu to develop his abductive reasoning skills, which helps him in court.

Ryunosuke and Mikotoba effectively serve the same role in Sholmes's life (that being, they're both his investigative partners at different points in time) but they have different benefits from doing so.

Part 2: Sherlock Holmes and John Watson Dynamics Are Always Gay

This is one of the most iconic parts of Sherlock Holmes. To be clear, I haven't read the original Sherlock Holmes stories. However, I am 100% comfortable saying that, based on the excerpts I have read, Watson and Sholmes have one of the most homoerotic dynamics in fiction. This always carries over into adaptations, and The Great Ace Attorney is no exception with Mikotoba or Ryunosuke (although I would argue that the dynamics are still a little different).

On Mikotoba's end, it's both confirmed in official art and implied in dialogue that between Mikotoba helping deliver Iris and him going back to Japan, Mikotoba and Sholmes were raising Iris together, and he says that he left Iris with Sholmes because he couldn't take her back to Japan. This can be read a few ways, but I thought it was worth mentioning here.

Outside of what's mentioned/referenced, we also have what is seen in real time in the last two cases of Resolve. Sholmes and Mikotoba have kept in contact via telegram for a decade, Sholmes tells Mikotoba that the sight of him is "making his mouth water" (which I'm convinced is a reference to Ryunosuke saying "So you'd eat your friends. I'll remember that." but it also definitely comes off as very gay). Mikotoba also refers to 221B as "our home", referring to himself and Sholmes. I also think it's notable that Mikotoba regains consciousness and is immediately dragged off by Sholmes to do an investigation.

On Ryunosuke's end, dear god there's a lot (to be clear, there's more on Ryunosuke's end because he spends more time with Sholmes on-screen than Mikotoba does, not because one is inherently more canon than the other or anything). Let's go through a non-comprehensive list (because I'm thinking of most of these off the top of my head), in no particular order:

Sholmes claims Ryunosuke not being in handcuffs throws the balance off, because he'll always imagine Ryunosuke with handcuffs (The Adventure of the Unbreakable Speckled Band)

Susato teases Ryunosuke about being excited to dance around with Sholmes during the first dance of deduction, and Ryunosuke looks happy with himself from the beginning of the first dance of deduction (The Adventure of the Unbreakable Speckled Band)

Ryunosuke seems only slightly less excited to be seeing Sholmes again than Susato (The Adventure of the Clouded Kokoro)

This entire conversation that is implied to have happened right after Ryunosuke got out of bed and downstairs (The Memoirs of the Clouded Kokoro)

Sholmes putting all his weight on Ryunosuke in that commemorative photograph that was taken before Susato left England (first shows up in The Adventure of the Unspeakable Story, shows up on Ryunosuke's shelf later)

Sholmes putting his hands on Ryunosuke's neck because "Blood loss has made my hands cold, Mr. Naruhodo! Have a feel!" (The Adventure of the Unspeakable Story)

Ryunosuke calling Sholmes in drag "stunning" (The Adventure of the Unspeakable Story)

Sholmes referring to Ryunosuke as "something of a manservant around here" because he hasn't been doing much other than helping around the flat since being disbarred (The Return of the Great Departed Soul)

Ryunosuke referring to Sholmes being knocked out during a dance of deduction as Sholmes "leaving him alone on the ballroom floor" (Twisted Karma and his Last Bow)

And that's not even all of it, I can guarantee it. Those are just the ones I remember best because they stand out to me. Sholmes's dynamic with both Mikotoba and Ryunosuke are incredibly gay.

Part 3: Sholmes's Relationship to Dances of Deduction

This is an interesting topic to cover, and this topic is going to be more an analysis of Sholmes than statement of canon fact. We know Sholmes is perfectly adept at accurate deductions, and it's indicated as early as The Adventure of the Unbreakable Speckled Band that he's purposely making bad deductions. We see how his deductions usually work when he's not goofing off in The Unbreakable Speckled Band, in fact. So that then begs the question, why is he so adamant about pretending to be bad at deduction, even when Ryu proves his own ability to make accurate deductions? Sure, helping Sholmes allows him to practice those abilities, but the more serious dances of deduction where Sholmes's "dance" partner is filling in the blanks would serve the same purpose, and it's something literally anyone could do.

I'd also like to clarify something here: Susato doesn't get directly involved in a dance of deduction until Sholmes is unavailable, and even then Ryunosuke treats it like a solo act (specifically stating "He's left me alone on the ballroom floor, so I'm going to have to do this next part solo"). Susato assists Ryunosuke during dances of deduction, sure, but her involvement doesn't go beyond that with the exception of when Sholmes gets knocked unconscious.

So back to the question at hand, why does Sholmes do dances of deduction seemingly exclusively with Ryu and Mikotoba? I don't think it's a coincidence. I do think it's because dances of deduction aren't platonic for him. Sholmes and Ryunosuke's especially come off as a couple's dance to me, although part of it does come from Ryunosuke indirectly comparing it to a ballroom dance, the most popular of which for pairs in the Victorian era was the waltz (which is traditionally a couple's dance). So I do think that, for Sholmes and very probably Ryu at the very least, dances of deduction are either romantic, erotic, or both.

This leads back around to the original question. I've already established that Sholmes's dynamics with Ryunosuke and Mikotoba are both incredibly gay. I also just established that Ryunosuke indirectly compares dances of deduction to a ballroom dance, in this case a waltz. Dances of deduction are always a partnered thing, and Sholmes is only ever seen doing them with Mikotoba and Ryunosuke. I don't think it'd be a stretch to claim that Sholmes makes them gay on purpose. For what purpose you ask? Male companionship, obviously.

I'm kidding about that but I do think Sholmes does it to have another companion that isn't Iris, at least in Ryunosuke's case. In Mikotoba's case, it likely came from wanting companionship at all. We know Sholmes is an attention whore, and I feel like being as important a part of someone's life as he was to Mikotoba while Mikotoba was studying in England strooked that a bit. I also wouldn't be surprised if Ryu reminded Sholmes of Mikotoba on some level (both are Japanese students studying in Britain for the time Sholmes lives with them).

Part 4: Conclusion (AKA I'm tired so I'm stopping myself before I pass out on my keyboard)

In conclusion, there are so many similarities between the Ryulock and Homumiko dynamics that I feel go unacknowledged. It is not a coincidence that Sholmes's dynamics with these two specifically is so fucking gay. Like I don't know if it's just me but playing as Mikotoba in the last dance of deduction didn't feel much different than playing as Ryunosuke, besides slight differences in dynamics because Mikotoba's known Sholmes longer than Ryunosuke has. Aside from that detail, if Mikotoba hadn't been clearly who Sholmes was with, I would've absolutely thought he was with Ryunosuke. Sholmes has a type and that type is quirky guys who are fun to tease.

[serial-serializednovelreader]

What other novels to your inbox do you recommend? I have done Dracula Daily for years and I want to expand my horizon. War is pretty much the only thing that I don't like. Thanks

Hi!

So funny story, contrary to my username and bio…I have not been keeping up with the classic novels in my emails lately. BUT. That does not mean I don’t have some recommendations for you!

Also, since you did mention you don’t like war, I made sure not to recommend any novels that heavily involve war (War & Peace & Emails, for instance). However, I do know some characters in these recommendations have history with war (e.g. Watson was a war doctor) and I’ve made sure to make mention of that wherever possible. So, I apologize if that comes off as annoying or stating the obvious, I just want you to be fully informed before you read. I’m also listing general content warnings as a rule to inform anyone who might be interested in these Substacks. :)

On to the recommendations!

If you’re looking for mystery…

Learn about the greatest detective of all time from his faithful partner — that’s right! Read Letters from Watson to get the scoop on Sherlock and solve mysteries alongside the legendary duo. I thought this was such a cool concept and I wish I had been able to keep up with it. But it was very fun for the time I did. It goes through the entire chronology of Sherlock stories (which is a lot, by the way) and they just started going through the “more complex cases” (aka, the 4 Sherlock novels) back in January. So, it might be a good time to start! There isn’t war in these cases (at least as far as I know, each email does have a list of content warnings for specifics), but Watson was a war doctor and this does come up frequently, just as a heads up.

If you’re looking for epistolary stories…

Literary Letters takes obscure epistolary novels from the public domain and puts them into your inbox! Right now they’re reading The Sorrows of Young Werther, which is about a guy who’s in love with a girl who’s betrothed to another and writes very passionate letters on the subject.

For a content warning, I’ve included the publisher’s note on this one: “There are passages where the book discusses Werther’s depression, despair, rationalizations for suicide, and the suicide itself at length, so please take whatever precautions you need to read the book safely, which may include buddy reading, mental health breaks, or skipping it altogether.”

So with that being said, the reason I got into this email chain was actually for their first novel they emailed - The Lightning Conductor. I absolutely loved this novel and I heavily recommend going back into the archives to read it and its sequel if you can (that one is in the “Side Stories” archive). It’s a very lighthearted read and a romance, told in epistolary format! Basically, it’s about this smart (yet a bit scatterbrained — not judging, because, same) woman who goes to Europe for the first time and she ends up meeting a gentleman when her car breaks down. Said gentleman is mistaken for a chauffeur and he goes along with it, just because she’s dreamy and he’s already smitten with her. Then there’s her “best guy friend” and her mom trying to throw a wrench in their plans. It’s utter chaos and I love it. I could go on for hours about this novel, but I won’t! I do highly recommended reading it if you ever get the chance.

If you’re looking for a read in verse format…

Check out Divine Comedy Weekly! It’s telling Dante’s Divine Comedy every Tuesday and Thursday. There’s not much to say about this one because I dropped out pretty early in the game, unfortunately. For some reason, stories told in a lyrical/verse format don’t seem to be my thing, but maybe they’re your thing! I think it’s a great concept and for that reason, I will recommend this.

If you’re looking for an all-new read…

North and South by Jane Austen is coming to your inbox this June! It’s apparently a bit like Pride and Prejudice but with the Industrial Revolution and labor relations. I actually just subscribed to this one and I’m excited to see how I enjoy it!

If you’re looking for a long haul read…

Buckle in! It’s time for Whale Weekly! That’s right, you’re in for a THREE YEAR TRIP with this bad boy because Ishmael is emailing you the tale of Moby Dick. Life has gotten in the way and I’ve fallen behind (though this is motivating me to catch up again), but this is actually really good as an email read because this guy goes on so many tangents, it’s more fun for me to absorb his thoughts in spaced out emails, rather than if I tried to read the book.

The memes are very fun with this one, but please keep in mind there is racism and foul language in this, as well as other heavy topics I can’t remember off the top of my head. Also, this does not take place in a war setting, but I do believe some characters have been in war in the past, so that is probably something to keep in mind with this one!

This one is coming to an end fairly soon (I didn’t realize we were on chapter 113/135 OOF), so I don’t know if they’re going to do another round after this or leave it. I imagine it would probably be hard to catch up at this point, but I’m going to link it anyway because I typed all of this up before realizing how far along we were and I do still recommend the read in email format rather than a novel format.

If you’re looking for horror…

I would recommend “The Beetle Weekly”. I wasn’t able to finish this one because LifeTM got in the way, but it is, for sure, one of the reads of all time. Probably the best and worst thing you could read ever tbh. It’s not very enjoyable and I’m not pitching it well at all, but for some reason, I am legitimately recommending this because it is hilarious to read with Tumblr memes by your side. As a heads up, this book does include racism, gore, sexism, transphobia (iirc?) and likely more content warnings I can’t remember. The reason I’m recommending it at all is because it does carry some of the same themes as Dracula and the characters are interesting. Plus, love it or hate it, I reacted while reading this book - a lot. Did I mention I have a bug phobia? Also, fun fact: it was published at the same time as Dracula and was actually MORE POPULAR than Dracula for a while before fading into obscurity.

The only thing is, it did just end last April so you might have to wait until December for it to crawl back into your inbox if you’re interested.

If you’re looking for a thriller…

Jekyll and Hyde Weekly. I absolutely LOVED THIS ONE!!!! Very much vibes of Dracula Daily. Immaculate stuff right there. This one has a lot more comedy than you’d think and was very enjoyable. Content warnings for violence against a child (mentioned, not shown), body horror, and there is one more I can’t say without spoiling the book (feel free to DM me if you’re interested in knowing).

Again, this is pretty short and it’s not currently active; it runs November through January, so that’s when you can look out for it!

I was hoping to recommend some more via a masterlist, I know someone made a post waaay back in 2022 when this serialized email novel thing first got started, but it looks like it got deleted, so if there is a new one, I would love for anyone to share it just for future reference!

I do have a couple of honorable mentions I’ll link that I haven’t read and know next to nothing about, but just so you can have even more recommendations. Please feel free to share your favorites!

[chriscalledmesweetie]

Chapter 23 - Sebastian Moran's Story

The Murder of Sir Emory J. Amat   by ChrisCalledMeSweetie

A Sherlock Holmes mystery, as recounted by Dr. John H. Watson.

Can you follow the clues to deduce whodunnit?

Chapter 23: Sebastian Moran's Story

“It is obvious: to save Captain Moran, the real criminal must confess.” 

Holmes beamed round at us all. 

“Yes—I mean what I say. See now, I did not invite Inspector Anderson to be present. That was for a reason. I did not want to tell him all that I knew—at least I did not want to tell him tonight.” 

He leaned forward, and at once his voice and his whole personality changed. He suddenly became dangerous. 

“I know the murderer of Sir Emory is in this room now. It is to the murderer I speak. If there are extenuating circumstances that might cast your actions in a less damning light, you must come forward and explain them to me. Tomorrow I shall go to Inspector Anderson with my statement.”

[dailyanarchistposts]

A.3.9 What is anarcho-primitivism?

As discussed in section A.3.3, most anarchists would agree with Situationist Ken Knabb in arguing that “in a liberated world computers and other modern technologies could be used to eliminate dangerous or boring tasks, freeing everyone to concentrate on more interesting activities.” Obviously ”[c]ertain technologies — nuclear power is the most obvious example — are indeed so insanely dangerous that they will no doubt be brought to a prompt halt. Many other industries which produce absurd, obsolete or superfluous commodities will, of course, cease automatically with the disappearance of their commercial rationales. But many technologies …, however they may presently be misused, have few if any inherent drawbacks. It’s simply a matter of using them more sensibly, bringing them under popular control, introducing a few ecological improvements, and redesigning them for human rather than capitalistic ends.” [Public Secrets, p. 79 and p. 80] Thus most eco-anarchists see the use of appropriate technology as the means of creating a society which lives in balance with nature.

However, a small but vocal minority of self-proclaimed Green anarchists disagree. Writers such as John Zerzan, John Moore and David Watson have expounded a vision of anarchism which, they claim, aims to critique every form of power and oppression. This is often called “anarcho-primitivism,” which according to Moore, is simply “a shorthand term for a radical current that critiques the totality of civilisation from an anarchist perspective, and seeks to initiate a comprehensive transformation of human life.” [Primitivist Primer]

How this current expresses itself is diverse, with the most extreme elements seeking the end of all forms of technology, division of labour, domestication, “Progress”, industrialism, what they call “mass society” and, for some, even symbolic culture (i.e. numbers, language, time and art). They tend to call any system which includes these features “civilisation” and, consequently, aim for “the destruction of civilisation”. How far back they wish to go is a moot point. Some see the technological level that existed before the Industrial Revolution as acceptable, many go further and reject agriculture and all forms of technology beyond the most basic. For them, a return to the wild, to a hunter-gatherer mode of life, is the only way for anarchy is exist and dismiss out of hand the idea that appropriate technology can be used to create an anarchist society based on industrial production which minimises its impact on ecosystems.

Thus we find the primitivist magazine “Green Anarchy” arguing that those, like themselves, “who prioritise the values of personal autonomy or wild existence have reason to oppose and reject all large-scale organisations and societies on the grounds that they necessitate imperialism, slavery and hierarchy, regardless of the purposes they may be designed for.” They oppose capitalism as it is “civilisation’s current dominant manifestation.” However, they stress that it is “Civilisation, not capitalism per se, was the genesis of systemic authoritarianism, compulsory servitude and social isolation. Hence, an attack upon capitalism that fails to target civilisation can never abolish the institutionalised coercion that fuels society. To attempt to collectivise industry for the purpose of democratising it is to fail to recognise that all large-scale organisations adopt a direction and form that is independent of its members’ intentions.” Thus, they argue, genuine anarchists must oppose industry and technology for ”[h]ierarchical institutions, territorial expansion, and the mechanisation of life are all required for the administration and process of mass production to occur.” For primitivists, ”[o]nly small communities of self-sufficient individuals can coexist with other beings, human or not, without imposing their authority upon them.” Such communities would share essential features with tribal societies, ”[f]or over 99% of human history, humans lived within small and egalitarian extended family arrangements, while drawing their subsistence directly from the land.” [Against Mass Society]

While such tribal communities, which lived in harmony with nature and had little or no hierarchies, are seen as inspirational, primitivists look (to use the title of a John Zerzan book) forward to seeing the “Future Primitive.” As John Moore puts it, “the future envisioned by anarcho-primitivism … is without precedent. Although primitive cultures provide intimations of the future, and that future may well incorporate elements derived from those cultures, an anarcho-primitivist world would likely be quite different from previous forms of anarchy.” [Op. Cit.]

For the primitivist, other forms of anarchism are simply self-managed alienation within essentially the same basic system we now endure. Hence Moore’s comment that “classical anarchism” wants “to take over civilisation, rework its structures to some degree, and remove its worst abuses and oppressions. However, 99% of life in civilisation remains unchanged in their future scenarios, precisely because the aspects of civilisation they question are minimal … overall life patterns wouldn’t change too much.” Thus ”[f]rom the perspective of anarcho-primitivism, all other forms of radicalism appear as reformist, whether or not they regard themselves as revolutionary.” [Op. Cit.]

In reply, “classical anarchists” point out three things. Firstly, to claim that the “worst abuses and oppressions” account for 1% of capitalist society is simply nonsense and, moreover, something an apologist of that system would happily agree with. Secondly, it is obvious from reading any “classical” anarchist text that Moore’s assertions are nonsense. “Classical” anarchism aims to transform society radically from top to bottom, not tinker with minor aspects of it. Do primitivists really think that people who went to the effort to abolish capitalism would simply continue doing 99% of the same things they did before hand? Of course not. In other words, it is not enough to get rid of the boss, although this is a necessary first step! Thirdly, and most importantly, Moore’s argument ensures that his new society would be impossible to reach.

So, as can be seen, primitivism has little or no bearing to the traditional anarchist movement and its ideas. The visions of both are simply incompatible, with the ideas of the latter dismissed as authoritarian by the former and anarchists questioning whether primitivism is practical in the short term or even desirable in the long. While supporters of primitivism like to portray it as the most advanced and radical form of anarchism, others are less convinced. They consider it as a confused ideology which draws its followers into absurd positions and, moreover, is utterly impractical. They would agree with Ken Knabb that primitivism is rooted in “fantasies [which] contain so many obvious self-contradictions that it is hardly necessary to criticise them in any detail. They have questionable relevance to actual past societies and virtually no relevance to present possibilities. Even supposing that life was better in one or another previous era, we have to begin from where we are now. Modern technology is so interwoven with all aspects of our life that it could not be abruptly discontinued without causing a global chaos that would wipe out billions of people.” [Op. Cit., p. 79]

The reason for this is simply that we live in a highly industrialised and interconnected system in which most people do not have the skills required to live in a hunter-gatherer or even agricultural society. Moreover, it is extremely doubtful that six billion people could survive as hunter-gatherers even if they had the necessary skills. As Brian Morris notes, ”[t]he future we are told is ‘primitive.’ How this is to be achieved in a world that presently sustains almost six billion people (for evidence suggests that the hunter-gatherer lifestyle is only able to support 1 or 2 people per sq. mile)” primitivists like Zerzan do not tell us. [“Anthropology and Anarchism,” pp. 35–41, Anarchy: A Journal of Desire Armed, no. 45, p. 38] Most anarchists, therefore, agree with Chomsky’s summation that “I do not think that they are realising that what they are calling for is the mass genocide of millions of people because of the way society is now structured and organised … If you eliminate these structures everybody dies … And, unless one thinks through these things, it’s not really serious.” [Chomsky on Anarchism, p. 226]

Somewhat ironically, many proponents of primitivsm agree with its critics that the earth would be unable to support six billion living as a hunter-gatherers. This, critics argue, gives primitivism a key problem in that population levels will take time to fall and so any “primitivist” rebellion faces two options. Either it comes about via some kind of collapse of “civilisation” or it involves a lengthy transition period during which “civilisation” and its industrial legacies are decommissioned safely, population levels drop naturally to an appropriate level and people gain the necessary skills required for their new existence.

The problems with the first option should be obvious but, sadly, it is implied by many primitivist writers. Moore, for example, talks about “when civilisation collapses” (“through its own volition, through our efforts, or a combination of the two”). This implies an extremely speedy process which is confirmed when he talks about the need for “positive alternatives” to be built now as “the social disruption caused by collapse could easily create the psychological insecurity and social vacuum in which fascism and other totalitarian dictatorships could flourish.” [Op. Cit.] Social change based on “collapse,” “insecurity” and “social disruption” does not sound like a recipe for a successful revolution.

Then there are the anti-organisation dogmas expounded by primitivism. Moore is typical, asserting that ”[o]rganisations, for anarcho-primitivists, are just rackets, gangs for putting a particular ideology in power” and reiterates the point by saying primitivists stand for “the abolition of all power relations, including the State . .. and any kind of party or organisation.” [Op. Cit.] Yet without organisation, no modern society could function. There would be a total and instant collapse which would see not only mass starvation but also ecological destruction as nuclear power stations meltdown, industrial waste seeps into the surrounding environment, cities and towns decay and hordes of starving people fighting over what vegetables, fruits and animals they could find in the countryside. Clearly an anti-organisation dogma can only be reconciled with the idea of a near overnight “collapse” of civilisation, not with a steady progress towards a long term goal. Equally, how many “positive alternatives” could exist without organisation?

Moore dismissed any critique that points out that a collapse would cause mass destruction as “just smear tactics,” “weird fantasies spread by some commentators hostile to anarcho-primitivism who suggest that the population levels envisaged by anarcho-primitivists would have to be achieved by mass die-offs or nazi-style death camps.” The “commitment of anarcho-primitivists to the abolition of all power relations … means that such orchestrated slaughter remains an impossibility as well as just plain horrendous.” [Op. Cit.] Yet no critic is suggesting that primitivists desire such a die-off or seek to organise it. They simply point out that the collapse of civilisation would result in a mass die-off due to the fact that most people do not have the skills necessary to survive it nor could the Earth provide enough food for six billion people trying to live in a primitivist manner. Other primitivists have asserted that it can, stating ”[i]t is not possible for all six billion of the planet’s current inhabitants to survive as hunter-gatherers, but it is possible for those who can’t to grow their own food in significantly smaller spaces … as has been demonstrated by permaculture, organic gardening, and indigenous horticulture techniques.” [Against Mass Society] Unfortunately no evidence was provided to show the truth of this assertion nor that people could develop the necessary skills in time even if it were. It seems a slim hope to place the fate of billions on, so that humanity can be “wild” and free from such tyrannies as hospitals, books and electricity.

Faced with the horrors that such a “collapse” would entail, those primitivists who have thought the issue through end up accepting the need for a transition period. John Zerzan, for example, argues that it “seems evident that industrialisation and the factories could not be gotten rid of instantly, but equally clear that their liquidation must be pursued with all the vigour behind the rush of break-out.” Even the existence of cities is accepted, for ”[c]ultivation within the cities is another aspect of practical transition.” [On the Transition: Postscript to Future Primitive]

However, to accept the necessity of a transition period does little more than expose the contradictions within primitivism. Zerzan notes that “the means of reproducing the prevailing Death Ship (e.g. its technology) cannot be used to fashion a liberated world.” He ponders: “What would we keep? ‘Labour-saving devices?’ Unless they involve no division of labour (e.g. a lever or incline), this concept is a fiction; behind the ‘saving’ is hidden the congealed drudgery of many and the despoliation of the natural world.” How this is compatible with maintaining “industrialisation and the factories” for a (non-specified) period is unclear. Similarly, he argues that ”[i]nstead of the coercion of work — and how much of the present could continue without precisely that coercion? — an existence without constraints is an immediate, central objective.” [Op. Cit.] How that is compatible with the arguing that industry would be maintained for a time is left unasked, never mind unanswered. And if “work” continues, how is this compatible with the typical primitivist dismissal of “traditional” anarchism, namely that self-management is managing your own alienation and that no one will want to work in a factory or in a mine and, therefore, coercion will have to be used to make them do so? Does working in a self-managed workplace somehow become less alienating and authoritarian during a primitivist transition?

It is an obvious fact that the human population size cannot be reduced significantly by voluntary means in a short period of time. For primitivism to be viable, world population levels need to drop by something like 90%. This implies a drastic reduction of population will take decades, if not centuries, to achieve voluntarily. Given that it is unlikely that (almost) everyone on the planet will decide not to have children, this time scale will almost certainly be centuries and so agriculture and most industries will have to continue (and an exodus from the cities would be impossible immediately). Likewise, reliable contraceptives are a product of modern technology and, consequently, the means of producing them would have to maintained over that time — unless primitivists argue that along with refusing to have children, people will also refuse to have sex.

Then there is the legacy of industrial society, which simply cannot be left to decay on its own. To take just one obvious example, leaving nuclear power plants to melt down would hardly be eco-friendly. Moreover, it is doubtful that the ruling elite will just surrender its power without resistance and, consequently, any social revolution would need to defend itself against attempts to reintroduce hierarchy. Needless to say, a revolution which shunned all organisation and industry as inherently authoritarian would not be able to do this (it would have been impossible to produce the necessary military supplies to fight Franco’s fascist forces during the Spanish Revolution if the workers had not converted and used their workplaces to do so, to note another obvious example).

Then there is another, key, contradiction. For if you accept that there is a need for a transition from ‘here’ to ‘there’ then primitivism automatically excludes itself from the anarchist tradition. The reason is simple. Moore asserts that “mass society” involves “people working, living in artificial, technologised environments, and [being] subject to forms of coercion and control.” [Op. Cit.] So if what primitivists argue about technology, industry and mass society are all true, then any primitivist transition would, by definition, not be libertarian. This is because “mass society” will have to remain for some time (at the very least decades, more likely centuries) after a successful revolution and, consequently from a primitivist perspective, be based on “forms of coercion and control.” There is an ideology which proclaims the need for a transitional system which will be based on coercion, control and hierarchy which will, in time, disappear into a stateless society. It also, like primitivism, stresses that industry and large scale organisation is impossible without hierarchy and authority. That ideology is Marxism. Thus it seems ironic to “classical” anarchists to hear self-proclaimed anarchists repeating Engels arguments against Bakunin as arguments for “anarchy” (see section H.4 for a discussion of Engels claims that industry excludes autonomy).

So if, as seems likely, any transition will take centuries to achieve then the primivitist critique of “traditional” anarchism becomes little more than a joke — and a hindrance to meaningful anarchist practice and social change. It shows the contradiction at the heart of primitivism. While its advocates attack other anarchists for supporting technology, organisation, self-management of work, industrialisation and so on, they are themselves are dependent on the things they oppose as part of any humane transition to a primitivist society. And given the passion with which they attack other anarchists on these matters, unsurprisingly the whole notion of a primitivist transition period seems impossible to other anarchists. To denounce technology and industrialism as inherently authoritarian and then turn round and advocate their use after a revolution simply does not make sense from a logical or libertarian perspective.

Thus the key problem with primitivism can be seen. It offers no practical means of achieving its goals in a libertarian manner. As Knabb summarises, ”[w]hat begins as a valid questioning of excessive faith in science and technology ends up as a desperate and even less justified faith in the return of a primeval paradise, accompanied by a failure to engage the present system in any but an abstract, apocalyptical way.” To avoid this, it is necessary to take into account where we are now and, consequently, we will have to “seriously consider how we will deal with all the practical problems that will be posed in the interim.” [Op. Cit., p. 80 and p. 79] Sadly, primitivist ideology excludes this possibility by dismissing the starting point any real revolution would begin from as being inherently authoritarian. Moreover, they are blocking genuine social change by ensuring that no mass movement would ever be revolutionary enough to satisfy their criteria:

“Those who proudly proclaim their ‘total opposition’ to all compromise, all authority, all organisation, all theory, all technology, etc., usually turn out to have no revolutionary perspective whatsoever — no practical conception of how the present system might be overthrown or how a post-revolutionary society might work. Some even attempt to justify this lack by declaring that a mere revolution could never be radical enough to satisfy their eternal ontological rebelliousness. Such all-or-nothing bombast may temporarily impress a few spectators, but its ultimate effect is simply to make people blasé.” [Knabb, Op. Cit., pp. 31–32]

Then there is the question of the means suggested for achieving primitivism. Moore argues that the “kind of world envisaged by anarcho-primitivism is one unprecedented in human experience in terms of the degree and types of freedom anticipated ... so there can’t be any limits on the forms of resistance and insurgency that might develop.” [Op. Cit.] Non-primitivists reply by saying that this implies primitivists don’t know what they want nor how to get there. Equally, they stress that there must be limits on what are considered acceptable forms of resistance. This is because means shape the ends created and so authoritarian means will result in authoritarian ends. Tactics are not neutral and support for certain tactics betray an authoritarian perspective.

This can be seen from the UK magazine “Green Anarchist,” part of the extreme end of “Primitivism.” Due to its inherent unattractiveness for most people, it could never come about by libertarian means (i.e. by the free choice of individuals who create it by their own acts) and so cannot be anarchist as very few people would actually voluntarily embrace such a situation. This led to “Green Anarchist” developing a form of eco-vanguardism in order, to use Rousseau’s expression, to “force people to be free.” This was expressed when the magazine supported the actions and ideas of the (non-anarchist) Unabomber and published an article (“The Irrationalists”) by one its editors stating that “the Oklahoma bombers had the right idea. The pity was that they did not blast any more government offices … The Tokyo sarin cult had the right idea. The pity was that in testing the gas a year prior to the attack they gave themselves away.” [Green Anarchist, no. 51, p. 11] A defence of these remarks was published in the next issue and a subsequent exchange of letters in the US-based Anarchy: A Journal of Desire Armed magazine (numbers 48 to 52) saw the other editor justify this sick, authoritarian nonsense as simply examples of “unmediated resistance” conducted “under conditions of extreme repression.” Whatever happened to the anarchist principle that means shape the ends? This means there are “limits” on tactics, as some tactics are not and can never be libertarian.

However, few primitivists take such an extreme position. Most “primitivist” anarchists rather than being anti-technology and anti-civilisation as such instead (to use David Watson’s expression) believe it is a case of the “affirmation of aboriginal lifeways” and of taking a far more critical approach to issues such as technology, rationality and progress than that associated with Social Ecology. These eco-anarchists reject “a dogmatic primitivism which claims we can return in some linear way to our primordial roots” just as much as the idea of “progress,” ”superseding both Enlightenment and Counter-Enlightenment” ideas and traditions. For them, Primitivism “reflects not only a glimpse at life before the rise of the state, but also a legitimate response to real conditions of life under civilisation” and so we should respect and learn from “palaeolithic and neolithic wisdom traditions” (such as those associated with Native American tribes and other aboriginal peoples). While we “cannot, and would not want to abandon secular modes of thinking and experiencing the world… we cannot reduce the experience of life, and the fundamental, inescapable questions why we live, and how we live, to secular terms… Moreover, the boundary between the spiritual and the secular is not so clear. A dialectical understanding that we are our history would affirm an inspirited reason that honours not only atheistic Spanish revolutionaries who died for el ideal, but also religious pacifist prisoners of conscience, Lakota ghost dancers, taoist hermits and executed sufi mystics.” [David Watson, Beyond Bookchin: Preface for a future social ecology, p. 240, p. 103, p. 240 and pp. 66–67]

Such “primitivist” anarchism is associated with a range of magazines, mostly US-based, like Fifth Estate. For example, on the question of technology, they argue that ”[w]hile market capitalism was a spark that set the fire, and remains at the centre of the complex, it is only part of something larger: the forced adaptation of organic human societies to an economic-instrumental civilisation and its mass technics, which are not only hierarchical and external but increasingly ‘cellular’ and internal. It makes no sense to layer the various elements of this process in a mechanistic hierarchy of first cause and secondary effects.” [Watson, Op. Cit., pp. 127–8] For this reason primitivists are more critical of all aspects of technology, including calls by social ecologists for the use of appropriate technology essential in order to liberate humanity and the planet:

“To speak of technological society is in fact to refer to the technics generated within capitalism, which in turn generate new forms of capital. The notion of a distinct realm of social relations that determine this technology is not only ahistorical and undialectical, it reflects a kind of simplistic base/superstructure schema.” [Watson, Op. Cit., p. 124]

Thus it is not a case of who uses technology which determines its effects, rather the effects of technology are determined to a large degree by the society that creates it. In other words, technology is selected which tends to re-enforce hierarchical power as it is those in power who generally select which technology is introduced within society (saying that, oppressed people have this excellent habit of turning technology against the powerful and technological change and social struggle are inter-related — see section D.10). Thus even the use of appropriate technology involves more than selecting from the range of available technology at hand, as these technologies have certain effects regardless of who uses them. Rather it is a question of critically evaluating all aspects of technology and modifying and rejecting it as required to maximise individual freedom, empowerment and happiness. Few Social Ecologists would disagree with this approach, though, and differences are usually a question of emphasis rather than a deep political point.

However, few anarchists are convinced by an ideology which, as Brian Morris notes, dismisses the “last eight thousand years or so of human history” as little more than a source “of tyranny, hierarchical control, mechanised routine devoid of any spontaneity. All those products of the human creative imagination — farming, art, philosophy, technology, science, urban living, symbolic culture — are viewed negatively by Zerzan — in a monolithic sense.” While there is no reason to worship progress, there is just as little need to dismiss all change and development out of hand as oppressive. Nor are they convinced by Zerzan’s “selective culling of the anthropological literature.” [Op. Cit., p. 38] Most anarchists would concurr with Murray Bookchin:

“The ecology movement will never gain any real influence or have any significant impact on society if it advances a message of despair rather than hope, of a regressive and impossible return to primordial human cultures, rather than a commitment to human progress and to a unique human empathy for life as a whole … We must recover the utopian impulses, the hopefulness, the appreciation of what is good, what is worth rescuing in yumn civilisation, as well as what must be rejected, if the ecology movement is to play a transformative and creative role in human affairs. For without changing society, we will not change the diastrous ecological direction in which capitalism is moving.” [The Ecology of Freedom, p. 63]

In addition, a position of “turning back the clock” is deeply flawed, for while some aboriginal societies are very anarchistic, not all are. As anarchist anthropologist David Graeber points out, “we know almost nothing about like in Palaeolithic, other than the sort of thing that can be gleaned from studying very old skulls … But what we see in the more recent ethnographic records is endless variety. There were hunter-gatherer societies with nobles and slaves, there are agrarian societies that are fiercely egalitarian. Even in … Amazonia, one finds some groups who can justly be described as anarchists, like the Piaroa, living alongside others (say, the warlike Sherentre, who are clearly anything but.” [Fragments of an Anarchist Anthropology, pp. 53–4] Even if we speculate, like Zerzan, that if we go back far enough we would find all of humanity in anarchistic tribes, the fact remains that certain of these societies did develop into statist, propertarian ones implying that a future anarchist society that is predominantly inspired by and seek to reproduce key elements of prehistoric forms of anarchy is not the answer as “civilisation” may develop again due to the same social or environmental factors.

Primitivism confuses two radically different positions, namely support for a literal return to primitive lifeways and the use of examples from primitive life as a tool for social critique. Few anarchists would disagree with the second position as they recognise that current does not equal better and, consequently, past cultures and societies can have positive (as well as negative) aspects to them which can shed light on what a genuinely human society can be like. Similarly if “primitivism” simply involved questioning technology along with authority, few would disagree. However, this sensible position is, in the main, subsumed within the first one, the idea that an anarchist society would be a literal return to hunter-gatherer society. That this is the case can be seen from primitivist writings (some primitivists say that they are not suggesting the Stone Age as a model for their desired society nor a return to gathering and hunting, yet they seem to exclude any other options by their critique).

So to suggest that primitivism is simply a critique or some sort of “anarchist speculation” (to use John Moore’s term) seems incredulous. If you demonise technology, organisation, “mass society” and “civilisation” as inherently authoritarian, you cannot turn round and advocate their use in a transition period or even in a free society. As such, the critique points to a mode of action and a vision of a free society and to suggest otherwise is simply incredulous. Equally, if you praise foraging bands and shifting horticultural communities of past and present as examples of anarchy then critics are entitled to conclude that primitivists desire a similar system for the future. This is reinforced by the critiques of industry, technology, “mass society” and agriculture.

Until such time as “primitivists” clearly state which of the two forms of primitivism they subscribe to, other anarchists will not take their ideas that seriously. Given that they fail to answer such basic questions of how they plan to deactivate industry safely and avoid mass starvation without the workers’ control, international links and federal organisation they habitually dismiss out of hand as new forms of “governance,” other anarchists do not hold much hope that it will happen soon. Ultimately, we are faced with the fact that a revolution will start in society as it is. Anarchism recognises this and suggests a means of transforming it. Primitivism shies away from such minor problems and, consequently, has little to recommend it in most anarchists’ eyes.

This is not to suggest, of course, that non-primitivist anarchists think that everyone in a free society must have the same level of technology. Far from it. An anarchist society would be based on free experimentation. Different individuals and groups will pick the way of life that best suits them. Those who seek less technological ways of living will be free to do so as will those who want to apply the benefits of (appropriate) technologies. Similarly, all anarchists support the struggles of those in the developing world against the onslaught of (capitalist) civilisation and the demands of (capitalist) progress.

For more on “primitivist” anarchism see John Zerzan’s Future Primitive as well as David Watson’s Beyond Bookchin and Against the Mega-Machine. Ken Knabb’s essay The Poverty of Primitivism is an excellent critique of primitivism as is Brian Oliver Sheppard’s Anarchism vs. Primitivism.

[sarcasticsciencefictionwriter]

Okay, here's the post about the hints and tie-ins and things I put in my Flufftober stories.

Going to put a cut after Helen's for length's sake.

Helen's

I'm not actually sure my girl had any tie-in moments that weren't directly related to the series or weren't explicitly stated because her story laid the groundwork for the other four, but here are what I can think of.😂

Chapter 2

Hints at her mother knowing of abnormals and Gregory's work.

Chapter 4

Ties into John's chapter of asking Gregory for her hand in marriage.

Chapter 6

Really just plays off Biggie's refusing to leave so Helen gives him a position.

James's

Chapter 2:

James's "predilections that he was beginning to realize and had no place in his parents' home" was him figuring out that he had an attraction to men along with women.

Chapter 5:

James and Helen both being lonely in the 1930s and agreeing to not be lonely together after the Dallas Sanctuary was built was intended to be heavy, heavy implication of the beginning of the relationship John accused them of (and I think they clearly had) during World War II.

Chapter 6:

Really just meant to be a tie-in to "Five Times James Watson Was a Father and One Time He Wasn't" universe.

Also tying into James sending the telegram in Revelations Part 1.

Chapter 7:

Also meant to be a tie-in to "Five Times James Waston was a Father and One Time He Wasn't" universe.

Chapter 9:

A tie-in to my story "You Said You'd Never Leave" where I mentioned Helen was the one that performed the service at James's funeral in the private cemetery.

John's

Chapter 1

@samabigailalan 100% called this bit with John's mother being a foreshadowing of John with his monster and anger issues:

"--And being mad is not a bad thing, John. It only is if you make someone else suffer for it."

Chapter 2

Was mostly just historic tie-in of the real Montague John Druitt with his family.

Chapter 3

Directly tied into Helen's chapter with John from the same series, where John brought up taking her to a play and was relieved when she agreed.

Chapter 6

Loosely ties in with Nikola's chapter of them spending time together.

Chapter 8

Parts of Ashley's letter tie in with a fic I haven't written yet, mostly her teachers' views on her family.

Chapter 9

Some of John's dialogue to James hints at that James was aware of Helen's plan and the things that everything was building up to.

Also hints that John is aware at this point and may very well be involved with the Underground Sanctuary, but that one is left mostly to reader interpretation.

Nigel's

Chapter 1

Basically, baby Nigel checking out Gregory's pocket watch and Helen spotting him as well spotted by @chartreuseian.

Chapter 4

Parallels Nikola's chapter of leaving, but Nigel being uncertain of going himself.

Chapter 5

I accidently named the abnormal on James's end of the call after James's uncle from James's first chapter.

Also ties into a little plot bunny of Nigel and Helen being in Verdun together.

Chapter 9

The letter in Nigel's pocket that he needs to mail before he and Anna get ice cream is the letter he sent to Helen telling her Anna's existence, in case Anna needed help or protection one day.

Nikola's

Chapters 1 & 2

Basically just going off the mention of Marica being the real Tesla's favorite relative.

Chapter 4

Parallels Nigel's chapter of leaving. Also obvious tie-in to Helen's first chapter.

Chapter 7

--and Helen had, occasionally, reached out but had made it clear that she would contact him and he was never to contact her, no matter what and especially not through her Sanctuary. If he truly needed something from her, she had told him to go through James and he couldn't fathom why. James had told him nothing either.

This was intended to be a very heavy-handed reference to time travelling Helen.

It was Helen's future self that told Nikola no contact except through James, so that he wouldn't mess with the timeline. The Helen that Nikola and James are talking about is oblivious to his reasons for not contacting her.

Henry's little cameo was a tie-in to my headcanon of Helen returning to London during her pregnancy with Ashley and Ashley being born there. Loosely ties into "Five Times James Watson Was a Father and One Time He Wasn't" and "Remedying" because of the timeline. It also supports my writing of him as only around four years older than Ashley.

Chapter 8

Ties loosely into John's chapter of visiting Nikola earlier and both their memories of John seeking solace in Nikola during the Ripper killings.

Also directly leads into Nikola in Colombia in Trail of Blood and how he's aware of John being in Cambodia.

Chapter 9

Nothing but the stated historical tie-ins.

___

If there's more, I'm forgetting them, but oh well.

[pad-wubbo]

"My dearest friend, Sherlock Holmes was not homosexual", Dr. Watson ejaculated with a sense of profundity.

"The man is as straight as the British Empire's prospects of expansion, I would declare!" Watson continued as he stared at the muscular chest of his great partner, as if observing a mechanical marvel at the Great Exhibition.

Watson then proceeded to kiss his most dear partner on the lips, under the candlelight of the apartment they would share for the longest time on God's earth.

"My famed heterosexuality is a matter so most obvious as it is legitimate.", the great detective waxed.

"It is elementary as to why I shared such a passionate display of affection with my esteemed partner."

"I was simply creating a display which would draw unexperienced eyes to the body of my partner as to narrow out those simple-minded gentlemen who were unaware of my previously-stated heterosexuality.", Mr. Holmes eloquated as he explained his masterful bait.

To Sherlock Holmes he is always the man. I have seldom heard him mention him under any other name. In his eyes he eclipses and predominates the whole of his sex. It was not that he felt any emotion akin to love for Doctor John H. Watson. All emotions, and that one particularly, were abhorrent to his cold, precise but admirably balanced mind. He was, I take it, the most perfect reasoning and observing machine that the world has seen, but as a lover he would have placed himself in a false position. He never spoke of the softer passions, save with a gibe and a sneer. They were admirable things for the observer—excellent for drawing the veil from men’s motives and actions. But for the trained reasoner to admit such intrusions into his own delicate and finely adjusted temperament was to introduce a distracting factor which might throw a doubt upon all his mental results. Grit in a sensitive instrument, or a crack in one of his own high-power lenses, would not be more disturbing than a strong emotion in a nature such as his. And yet there was but one man to him, and that man was Dr. John H. Watson, of entirely non-dubious and unquestionable memory.

new faovurite image just dropped

[ignis--fatuus]

2010 Sherlock Holmes was a... experience

Mockbuster turned content for me to laugh hysterically at Bad CGI The Kraken? A T-Rex or like... misshapen velociraptor? (Jurassic Park's Bad Batch) A mech dragon The WORST dialogue I've ever seen At least Holmes and Watson had production value. There was effort, it just sucked. THIS HOWEVER IS AN ATROCITY. Only like one other adaptation has made me lose it and that was Sherlock Holmes and The Shadow Watchers but even then the plot made goddamn sense there. It was bad but there was plot.

Sherlock was lil tho which was funnier than it should have been. Also he was unbelievably soft spoken which ruined it a wee bit

Look at this thing. What is-? WHY? IT H O P S

this woman is a fuckin robot. and the dude is just a sucky Mycroft. He blames Lestrade for getting him shot??? As if Mycroft would ever be a cop??? What?? Also his name is Thorpe... Yea Thorpe. The woman's name is Anesidora Ivory, which is giving me serious Ebony D'arkness Dementia Ravenway vibes (doesn't help she's goth and not human).

As for Watson... He yells a lot. At inappropriate times sometimes too. Please help him.

Also there's a prostitute named Miss Pinchcock. She's my favorite <3

Also Old Watson is telling this story in 1940s during the bombings of London and apparently NOBODY BUT HIM remembered a FLYING METAL DRAGON SETTING FIRE TO LONDON Sherlock is dead and cant confirm this for obvious reasons Mrs Hudson's granddaughter is telling the story i guess? But she DOESNT GET A NAME? Please put peepaw John and this movie down for a nap

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi Steph! Hope you’re well :) Do you have a 5+1 rec list? It’s one of my all time favourite tropes and having just found a new one I wondered if you knew of any more? Sorry if you already have one linked somewhere, I’m still not very familiar with tumblr! (The new one I found is works/23857900/chapters/57342538 - sorry I’m not sure how to link properly on asks yet either! 😖

anonymous asked: What’s ur opinion on 5+1 fics?

Hi Lovelies!

Ahhh, sorry for the delay on this one!! I love 5 and Ones!! :D I’ve been tagging them since the beginning 3 years ago so I could more easily find them, just WAITING for people to ask, LOL. I read them a lot on FFNet (it was a BIG fad in the early noughts to have 5+1 fics, just like song fics were a 90′s thing lol)

So here y’all are, plus the one @johnlockedin221b suggested which I haven’t read yet! Please feel free to add your own here! 

I’ve also added some *CLOSE TO* five and ones, so like four and ones, I have a 7 times fic, and just one with 5 times. Hope y’all enjoy!

----

FIVE AND ONES (and SIMILAR FICS)

Once Upon A Time by ProfessorSquirrell (T, 908 w., 1 Ch. || Family, Snippets of Life, Romance, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Implied Drug Use, Angst with Happy Ending) – There is a room in Sherlock's mind palace where nothing gets deleted. And it looks like this...

The Four Incidents by TheGirlWithRedHair22 (K+, 1,064 w., 1 Ch. || S1 Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, John Whump, Accident, John POV, Hand Holding, Worried Sherlock, Sherlock’s Self Esteem) – The first time John was present when someone insulted Sherlock, he brushed it off as a strange coincidence.

Five Times John Watson Remained Oblivious by thriceandonce (K+, 1,154 w., 1 Ch. || Five and Ones, Romance, Friendship, Asexual Sherlock, Queerplatonic Relationship) – ...And one time he didn't.

Five Times John Didn't Notice Sherlock (and one time he did) by somanyhands (T, 1,369 w., 6 Ch. || Friendship, Five and Ones, 221B Format Oneshots) – Five times out oblivious John Watson didn't notice Sherlock, and one time he really did. A short series of (five plus one) 221B fics, just because.

The 3x John Carried Sherlock, and Once ViceVersa by ShinkonoKokoro (K+, 1,673 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Friendship, Three and One, BAMF John, Sherlock Whump, Worried Sherlock, John Gets Shot) – It happens more than he suspects.

The Perfect Place by SilverSmile (K+, 1,955 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Romance, 5 and Ones, Fluff, Experiments, Bed Sharing) – Sherlock attempts to find the perfect place to sleep, but his little experiment proves to be far more difficult than expected.

Like Euphoria and Scotch by FinAmour (M, 1,856 w., 1 Ch. || TSo3 Fix It, Five and One, Alchohol / Drinking, POV Second Person Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock’s Imagination, Armchair Sex, Cracky and Fluff, Happy Ending) – 5 different ways it all could have gone + the one way it actually works itself out.

Five Times Sherlock gave John a Pebble and One Time John Returned the Gesture by grimmfairy (NR, 1,895 w., 1 Ch. || Love Confessions, Fluff, Penguins and Pebbles, Nervous / Pining Sherlock, Oblivious John) – Sherlock isn't good with words, so he decides to tell John his feelings the way penguins do, by bringing him pebbles with different meanings. John catches on.

The Perfect Place by SilverSmile (K+, 1,955 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Romance, 5 and Ones, Fluff, Experiments, Bed Sharing) – Sherlock attempts to find the perfect place to sleep, but his little experiment proves to be far more difficult than expected.

Five Times Sherlock Realized He Was Getting Older by Mildred Graves (T, 9,215 w., 6 Ch. || Five and Ones, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Old) – . . . And one time it didn't matter.

It Was All Right There In Front of Him (A Five Times Plus One Story) by bees_stories (T, 3,191 w., 1 Ch. || 5+1, Protective Idiots, Grooming, Bed Sharing, Lestrade POV) – DI Greg Lestrade is a good detective. But sometimes he doesn't trust the evidence in front of him, until there's a compelling reason to do so.

Wish I Was In Heaven Sitting Down by standbygo (M, 3,282 w. || Post-S4, Five Plus One, Missing Scenes, Parenthood, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Cuddling & Snuggling, Hurt/Comfort, Declarations of Love, Fluff, Food, John Whump) – Five times when Sherlock and John ate together, and one time they didn't. A history of the boys, in food.

Atrium by kali_asleep (T, 3,460 w., 1 Ch. || 5+1, Valentines Day, Fluff & Schmoop, First Kiss) – Five times Sherlock gave John his heart, and the one time Sherlock got a heart in return (literally)

Because Your Coat is Part of You by camellialice (K, 3,705 w., 1 Ch. || 5 and 1, Canon Compliant, Sherlock’s Coat, Angst, Fluff) – Five times John wore Sherlock's coat and one time he didn't need to.

Five Times John Cooked Something with Peas and One First Kiss by 221b_careful_what_you_wish_for (T, 3,915 w., 1 Ch. || 5 and Ones, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Cooking / Food, Sick Sherlock, Music, Domestic Fluff, First Kiss) – After John cooks five dinners that slowly reveal their hunger for each other, Sherlock and John finally share a first kiss.

Human Body Pillow by Lunavere (K, 4,122 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Five and Ones, Sleepy Johnlock, Bed Sharing) – A story about the five times John fell asleep on Sherlock, and the one time Sherlock fell asleep on him.

What John Doesn't Know (Won't Hurt Him) by blueink3 (NR [T], 4,392 w., 1 Ch, || S3 Fix It, Pining Sherlock, Snippets of Life, Hurt/Comfort, Scars, Fluff and Angst, Five and One, Hopeful Ending, POV Sherlock) – Five people who see Sherlock's scars before John Watson. But Sherlock's secrets were never something he could keep from his blogger for long.

Carry On by Mazarin221b (M, 4,647 w., 1 Ch. || 5 and Ones, H/C, Afghanistan, Frottage, Hand Jobs, First Time) – Five times John didn't want to be carried, and one time he did.

Bed-Sharing Between Flatmates by testosterone_tea (T, 5,053 w., 1 Ch. || 5 and Ones, Bed Sharing, PTSD John, Science, Whump, Insecure Sherlock) – 5 times Sherlock had an excuse to share John's bed, and the one time he didn't need one.

Storytelling by amythedork (T, 5,126 w., 1 Ch. || John’s Past, Friendship, Humour) – Five times John Watson opens up to Sherlock Holmes, and one time Sherlock Holmes opens up to John Watson. Gen, though could easily be read as pre-slash.

Sociopathy and Other Fibs by kinklock (M, 5,314 w., 1 Ch. || 5+1, Miscommunication, Humour, Friends to Lovers, Post S3, Love Confessions) – Five times John called Sherlock out, and one time Sherlock returned the favour.

five times sherlock holmes lied to john watson (and one time he finally told the truth) by miss_frankenstein (G, 5,948 w., 1 Ch. || TAB Compliant || Homophobia, Pining Sherlock, Oscar Wilde Trials, Happy Ending) – Set in "The Abominable Bride" universe, this piece adopts a familiar format to chronicle Sherlock's quiet suffering in the wake of the 1895 Oscar Wilde trials and the particular way they affect his relationship with (and feelings for) John.

Five Times John Noticed But Didn't Really by ScandalousMinds (T, 6,383 w., 5 Ch. || Domestics, Fluff/Angst, Bratty Sherlock, Idiots, Pre-Slash, Jealous Sherlock, Love Confessions) – 5 times John (thought) he noticed something peculiar about his and Sherlock's relationship but really missed the obvious.

once upon a time by darcylindbergh (M, 6,501 w., 6 Ch. || Fluff and Angst, First Kiss / Time, Love Declarations, Christmas) – It starts with a wish. In the beginning, John comes home. Part 1 of things fairy tales are made of

Five Times by AliuIce0814 (T, 6,667 w., 6 Ch. || Drama, Canon-Compliant S1 & 2, Angst, 5 and Ones, Reunion) – ... Sherlock woke John, and one time John woke Sherlock.

Six Dates by avawtsn (E, 7,421 w., 2 Ch. || 5+1, First Time / Kiss, Post S4-Compliant, POV John) – A rather accidental 5+1 written for the prompt "is this a date?" Hint: it is.

Galapogos by anchors (E, 8,460 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Angst, 5 and 1, John Whump) – Somewhere in the depths of the universe, and somewhere in the middle of Sherlock's chest, a star goes into supernova.

All the Times Something ALMOST Happened by allonsys_girl (T, 9,049 w., 6 Ch. || POV Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Canon Compliant, Angst, Friendship/Love, UST) – John and Sherlock dancing around what they dance around in canon.

Illogical, even. by magikspell (E, 9,119 w., 1 Ch. || Grey-Ace Sherlock, Character Study, Growing Up, Victor Trevor, Romance, First Time/Kiss, Sherlock-centric) – Five reasons Sherlock never believed in love and one reason he does now.

A Different Kind of Love by Svenja The Strange (T, 12,357 w., 6 Ch. || Fluff, Humour, Romance, Five and One) –  The five times people noticed and the one time John did. A collection of oneshots (some short, some longer) raising the issue of Johns endless dilemma of being deemed for Sherlock’s boyfriend.

A Study in Linguistics by rizandace (T, 12,425 w., 1 Ch. || S1 Canon Compliant/S2 Divergence, Friendship, Slices of Life, Communication, Cranky Sherlock, Hospitals, Sherlock Whump, Pet Cat, Jealous John, Sherlock’s Violin, Anxious Sherlock, John Whump) – Sherlock Holmes and John Watson had their own language. It was a language of few words and minute facial expressions, and John had learned that it was nearly the only way to have an honest conversation with his eccentric flat mate.

First Response by Arwen Jade Kenobi (T, 13,516 w., 8 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Five and Ones, Whump / Injury) – Five times John had to perform first aid on Sherlock and one time Sherlock had to perform it on John.

Never-Ending Cycle by orphan_account (T, 17,211 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas, Est. Rel., Proposal, Fluff) – Or, four times Sherlock Holmes attempted to propose to John Watson, and the Christmas Party at which he finally did. Sherlock thinks he's a miserable failure, John is confused, Mrs. Hudson and Lestrade provide some unsatisfactory advice, and Mummy is, as always, the solution. All in a lovely, fluffy holiday theme.

Just a Kiss by emmagrant01 (E, 19,695 w., 7 Ch. || 5+1, Case Fic) – Five times John and Sherlock kissed because of a case and one time they kissed for real.

EMERGENCY CONTACT: Sherlock Holmes, RELATIONSHIP: n/a by blueink3 (M, 5,533 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt John / John Whump, Five and One, Fluff & Angst, Worried Sherlock) – The first time John Watson’s emergency contact is called is the first time Sherlock Holmes finds out that he has the job. Part 1 of The Emergency Contact Series

EMERGENCY CONTACT: John Watson, RELATIONSHIP: Saint by blueink3 (M, 6,229 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt Sherlock, 5+1, Hurt / Comfort, Caring John, Scars) – The first time Sherlock Holmes realizes he needs an emergency contact is the first time he mentally appoints John Watson with the job. John, of course, does not know this and neither does the local hospital. Part 2 of The Emergency Contact Series

Caught In The Act by ShirleyCarlton (E, 7,009 w. across 6 stories || Est. Rel, Voyeurism, Character POV’s, Masturbation, Switchlock) – This is a series of six scenarios written from the points of view of six different people as they accidentally walk in on Sherlock and John having sex.

Five Times Sherlock Realized He Was Getting Older by Mildred Graves (T, 9,215 w., 6 Ch. || Five and Ones, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Old) – . . . And one time it didn't matter.

The Five Stages of Mourning, Plus One by SunnyRea (T, 10,557 w., 1 Ch. || MCD, Pining / Grieving Sherlock, URT, Heavy Angst, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Drug Use, Graphic Death, Depression, Unhappy Ending) – Sherlock did not want this, did not want another stalemate with John in the middle, a gun in Jim's hand. This cannot have happened without a sign. There has to be something he missed anything which said today is the day I kill for real.

About Sleep and Coffee and the Existence of Fate by Atiki (E, 17,426 w., 6 Ch. || Fluff, Marriage Proposal, Humour, 5+1) – Naturally, John was startled when suddenly the ultimate solution occurred to him: Marriage. This was, of course, a bit of a fundamental problem rather than an actual solution. One didn't simply use the words “Sherlock” and “marriage” within the same sentence. Not even in a hypothetical context. Five times John kind of wanted to propose to Sherlock, and one time he didn’t have to.

Just a Kiss by emmagrant01 (E, 19,695 w., 7 Ch. || 5+1, Case Fic, Kisses) – Five times John and Sherlock kissed because of a case and one time they kissed for real.

5 Times John Got the Girl (and lost her) and 1 Time John Got the Guy (and kept him) by LiviKate (M, 21,695 w., 6 Ch. || 5 and Ones, Kissing, Oblivious / Awkward Sherlock, BAMF / Sexy / Stud John, Embarrassed John, John’s Scar, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Sherlock) – John has always had good luck with the ladies. He's charming, friendly and funny, not to mention great in bed. However, his usual skill with the opposite sex is constantly being thwarted by Sherlock and his outbursts. How will John ever get a leg over when Sherlock is always cockblocking him?

Five Times: Watching and Waiting by Ira Lea (K+, 23,034 w., 13 Ch. || Friendship, Post-TRF, No Slash) – Five times Sherlock didn't know John was watching, and one time he made sure of it. Five times John didn't know Sherlock was watching, and one time he figured it out. Three years of "he's dead", one moment of "he's alive", and the resulting chase through the streets of London. (Two 5:1s in quick succession and a bonus).

And A Doctor by StillWaters1 (T, 27,393 w., 6 Ch. || Friendship, Doctor John, Whump, Soldier / Doctor Dichotomy, Five and One) – It was only when people actually saw John working as a physician that they began to understand: that it wasn't just about bullets and IEDs and trauma care under fire. That "doctor" actually covered a pretty wide field. And that John was bloody good at covering ground. 5 times Dr. Watson treated others and 1 time he treated himself.

Five Times They Kissed for a Case, and One Time They Kissed for Real by fleetwood_mouse (M, 32,406 w., 6 Ch. || 5+1, Slow Burn, Fluff / Angst, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers) – A stolen ring! An artful blogger! And many more adventures for your enjoyment.

The Case of the Vanishing Pants by SwissMiss (E, 44,025 w., 6 Ch. || Five and Ones, Post-TRF, Case Fic, UST, Homophobia, Friends to Lovers, Pining John, Showering Together, Couple for a Case, Sherlock’s Bum, Fantasies, Jealous Sherlock) – Five times John and Sherlock lost their pants in the course of a case.

MARKED FOR LATER

Five Times Sherlock and John Had Realistic Sex and One Time They Didn't by pennydreadful (E, 1,811 w., 1 Ch. || Five and One, Anal/Oral, Finger Fucking, Hand Jobs) – Reality is a bitch.

A Study in Night Terrors by Dovahlock221 (T, 2,811 w., 1 Ch. || 5 and Ones, Night Terrors, (Emotional) Hurt/Comfort, PTSD Sherlock, Worried John, Hurt John, Angst with Happy Ending) – Five times Sherlock suffered from night terrors and the one time he had the best dream of his life.

What Every Step Is For by Anyawen (G, 2,921 w., 1 Ch. || Five and One, Bedsharing, Injury, Illness, Cold, Lack of Beds, Fake Relationship, Fluff) – Five times bedsharing occurred due to circumstance, and one time it happened by invitation.

5 Times John Almost Told Sherlock He Loved Him, and 1 Time He Did by wanderlustmind (T, 3,006 w., 1 Ch. || 5 and Ones, Additional Tags to be added) – As adorable as a box of puppies, I promise.

The Fundamental Things Apply by Raina_at (M, 6,263 w., 1 Ch. || Five and One, Kissing) – "Kisses that are easily obtained are easily forgotten." - Proverb

Five Times Sherlock Fell Asleep in John's Arms by Accident and the One Time He Did It – Accidentally – on Purpose by WillowGrove (T, 7,201 w., 6 Ch, || Five and One, Falling Asleep, Cuddling & Snuggling, Texting, Tea, First Kiss, Dreams, Fever, Comfort, Caretaker John, Love, Humour, Fluff) – Sherlock notices that John keeps cuddling him to sleep and he rather likes it. But then John stops, and Sherlock has to result to schemes to make it happen again. Who falls asleep, who wakes up in who’s arms, and – most importantly – will there be a kiss in the end?

Dinner Conversations, a 5+1 by BakerTumblings (G, 7,559 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Blended Families, Parentlock, Dinner Conversations, Established Relationship, Family Adventures, Five and Ones) – Five times that John had something to say at or about dinnertime, and one time where John was requested to listen. Part 8 of Eyes Wide Open

The Refractive Index by NoStraightLine (E, 10,395 w., 6 Ch. || Five and Ones, BAMF John, Crossdressing, Sherlock is Shot, Oral Fixation, First Time, Hurt/Comfort) – Five times John and Sherlock fuck in a bolt-hole, and one time they don't.

Five Christmases that went wrong and one that didn't by love_in_mind_palace (M, 11,685 w., 6 Ch. || Christmas, Fluff & Smut, Domestics, Est. Rel., 5 and 1′s, Canon Divergence, Tooth-Rotting Fluff) – John isn’t sure about most of the things in his life. Except for the fact that he loves Sherlock, Sherlock loves him back and that after years of bad luck, he is getting the Christmas he always deserved.

In Plain Sight by SilentAuror (E, 18,100 w., 1 Ch. || Post-HLV, 5 and Ones, POV Sherlock, Sex on Trains, Sex During Investigations, Sex in Offices, Unspoken Feelings, Anal, Slight Medical Kink, Public Sex Kink) – Five times that Sherlock and John have sex of some kind without talking about it and one time when they do. Part 1 of the Public Sex Kink

Just Dance by 7PercentSolution (M, 22,784 w., 6 Ch. || Four and One, For a Case, Drug Use, Abusive Boss, Ballroom Dancing, Sherlock Loves Dancing, Blackmail, Unrequited Love, Courtship) – Four dances that Sherlock taught Janine — and one he didn’t. Never mind if it leads him into dangerous territory; how could Sherlock resist a case from Lady Smallwood that lets him use his dancing skills? This is a gift work to Silvergirl, who is an inspiration to us all.

5 times Sherlock got (a) dressed like a woman, plus 1 he did not by Nauss (M, 25,719 w., 6 Ch. || Friendship and Romance, 5 and Ones, French Language Fic) – Ton regard est baissé et ton attitude ne brille pas de son habituel éclat Je-sais-que-tu-considères-que-je-n'aurais-pas-dû-mais-la-science-John. À la place, il y a tous ces petits détails que je ne parviens pas à voir, alors je m'approche de ta silhouette enrobedechambrée. Puis je lève la main, bouche bée. - John rentre en avance du travail et tombe sur un imprévu sherlockien.

Exit- An Ex Files Special by 7PercentSolution (G, 27,148 w., 6 Ch. || Sherlock/Victor Trevor, Angst Like Whoa, TRF-Compliant, Multiple POV’s, Unrequited Love, Whump, TBI and Recovery, Heartbreak, Romance, PTSD, Grieving, Five and One) – The end (or not, as the case may be), covering The Fall and its aftermath. Can be considered both a conclusion to my Fallen Angel series and a coda to Extricate and The Ex. A five plus one.

under the burden of solitude by subtext-is-my-division (E, 27,947 w., 5 Ch. || S3/S4 Fix It/Post TLD, Angst, Grief/Mourning, First Kiss, Mentions of Rape, Hurt/Comfort, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, Fantasies, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Suicidal Thoughts Mentions, Five and Ones) – Five times they shared a bed platonically, and one time they didn't.

Caesura by emilycare (M, 36,608 w., 10 Ch. || Five and One, Mutual Pining, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Friends to Lovers, Past Abuse, Past Drug Use, Angst with Happy Ending, Suicidal Thoughts, Oral Sex, Blow Jobs, Domestic Fluff, Soft Sherlock, Gay Sherlock, Bisexual John) – The violin is a retreat that eases the quiet of Sherlock Holmes' solitude. It also speaks for him when he cannot bridge the gaps his defenses create. Moments when music helps Sherlock reach out or let others in, like his stalwart flatmate and, in time, the doctor's daughter. Five times Sherlock Holmes played the violin, and one time he did not.

Magpies Series by 7PercentSolution (T, 218,813+ w. across 4 works || Series WIP || Post TRF, Drug Withdrawal, References to Torture, Confessions, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Sick Fic, PTSD, Oblivious John) – The Magpies series covers the events of the broadcast series three and four, "translated" into my universe. I wrote a lot of it before the episodes were broadcast and made some of my themes into AU (such as the Holmes parents and the sibling). Darker, more intense and angsty than Game Theory and Fallen Angel, the Magpies stories show the effects of the hiatus on all concerned. When parts five to 8 are completed, the series will bring the Ford saga to a conclusion.

[anneangel]

Sherlock Holmes has become synonymous with "detective" , "mysteries" and "adventures". His deerstalker, pipe, magnifying glass and Stradivarius violin are trademarks to recognize him, and to fix himself even more in the public's mind: his personality is complex and his way of thinking is surprising.

To unravel mysteries, the astute and intelligent Sherlock Holmes is passionate about criminology, extremely detailed and with great observation skills, following the less obvious sources (to us), but which leads him to the most accurate information, showing his deductive reasoning and impressing generations of fans through the ages, becoming a classic (and that's all because we don't get into the merit of his being an excellent Chemist).

But Sherlock did not make his fame alone: ​​56 cases (out of 60) are written by John H. Watson (A Medical doctor M.D, and ex-Officer of the 5th Northumberland Fusiliers attached to the 66th, Berkshire, Regiment of Foot) in first person. It is fair to say that we admire and love Sherlock only because Watson adored him enough to introduce Holmes to us. Watson, a man who had so much respect and consideration for Sherlock work and charisma that he decided to make Sherlock Holmes the protagonist of a literary saga. That's why it's impossible to love Sherlock without also loving his biographer and companion, Watson.

So let's go: An eccentric and peculiar detective, unusual mysteries permeated with adventures, a loyal and helpful friend; who together form the most inseparable dynamic duo in the world of investigations, who can resist?

Got the "formula" for success? Here we close with a golden key the reason for so much "fame". Lmao.

Seriously, Conan Doyle might roll in his grave, but I can never get enough of Sherlock and Watson. I need more of these Baker Street Boys!!! Seriously, it's never enough. Be it books or adaptations, I love them everywhere. How can this be?

Arthur Conan Doyle is the only wretch who creates a dynamic duo so incredible that it thrives even when the author himself loathes such fame. And the wretch still believed that soon something better would replace them both. Where? 136 years now, dear Doyle, the more you underestimate this duo, they created a life of their own almost. Lmao.

We, the audience and fans, we that accept them so good, when not even the creator himself did.

Doyle created a classic because he created something that the public, us, never forget. This perpetuated this duo in popular culture (worldwide) Sherlock and Watson, charismatic duo (when together only) never gets obsolete even with passing years. I love them, ACD Canon or Adaptations, everything, I like so much.

And how can not?

[honestlyandrogynousnightmare]

A study in Sherlock Holmes (s1e1)

A Study in Pink is an introduction to these characters and this universe, it sets up key plot points that are expanded on and sets up some characters that are beautifully developed and expended on throughout the rest of the series.

Sherlock is presented as an abnormally smart, lonely, and to an extent, arrogant person that lacks a filter and can be rude and disrespectful through his deductions (honestly id say that this is a pretty accurate description of sherlock throughout the first two seasons) however, he isn't a total prick, and is shown to be nice to be around. 

Sherlock is ahead of everyone else around him, his brain works faster and that is also portrayed through the pace he is speaking at, unusually fast, with no doubt and a lot of confidence in the things he is saying. Quite early on, we also realise how dedicated he is to his job, as Sally said, he doesn't get paid. It becomes clear that he enjoys it (well not many people would jump around happily when they learn that there's a serial killer out there) which is what sets him out from normal people quite a lot. 

Now the key point: "I'm not a psychopath, Anderson, I'm a high functioning sociopath". I think when we are first introduced to this idea, its easy to believe. We don't start doubting that idea until the later episodes, especially towards season 4. Now whatever you may think about this, whether you really do believe he's a sociopath or you think its aspergers syndrome or (/and) ADHD, or something completely different, there really wasn't a reason to doubt this idea. It's made clear that he doesn't have any close bonds, even with his own brother. He doesn't seem to show any negative emotions when he sees a woman lying dead, and actually calls the case “fun”. This shows pretty well that he knows absolutely n o t h i n g about human nature or that he is simply unable to feel sympathy. For first time watchers, I think that it gives off the idea of a mixture of these two, however, over time it leans more into him just not having enough experience with humans. 

I feel like i have to talk about sexuality here, now you can believe whatever you want about his sexuality this is just my view, its alright to disagree. He pretty much denies being straight, saying that girlfriends “aren’t his [my] area”, he never actually denies that he is gay, only saying that he knows its alright. He does later go on to say that he “considers him[my]self married to his [my] work” which could mean a lack of interest. Some people also believe that he is asexual so that awkward conversation between him and John could be pointing at that idea. 

There is also a small introduction to his drug problems, he establishes that “nicotine patches help him [me] think” and I inferred that its what he used harder drugs for too. 

Lastly, something that really stood out to me was his confusion when John was laughing at the “welcome to London”. That small look of surprise always hits me, it also shows how he doesn't have friends or anyone to spend time with, therefore doesn't really get people laughing at his jokes or reacting positively to anything he says. 

Now onto the relationships we are introduced to:

First we see Sherlock and Molly. Sherlock is either completely oblivious to Molly's affection towards him, because he's not interested in her specifically, not interested in dating overall or isn't attracted to women. He does seem to take advantage of Molly's affection for him, whether its conscious or not, even through asking her to get him coffee. I think I read somewhere that Molly was only meant to be introduced for an episode to showcase Sherlocks arrogance (but evidently came back for more episodes because of how liked she was) and that kind of sums up their relationship, especially near the beginning. 

I've always seen Mrs Hudson as a somewhat parental figure to Sherlock, yes we have mummy Holmes but we never really got too much information about her until season 3. You can see that Sherlock does care for her, whether he wants to admit it or not. It's quite obvious through the hug honestly. Even from the first few minutes we can infer that Sherlock isn't all for physical contact and that hug shows that they have a close bond.

Now for Lestrade, it's clear that Graham relies on Sherlock quite a lot, whether he wants it or not (we can assume he doesn't really like being so dependent on him). He knows about Sherlocks drug habits and has known him for “5 years”. The fact that he has known Sherlock for quite a while but admits to not knowing much about him is quite telling about how closed in Sherlock is. He also clearly thinks sherlock is extraordinary talented, but lacks humanity in a way, I think this is particularly shown through the "he's a great man, he might even be a good one" phrase.

We only really get to see a glimpse of his relationship with Mycroft, but I think that even from the few minutes we get to see them interact, their relationship is conveyed perfectly. Though there is clearly a lot of resentment between them, Mycroft admits to caring about Sherlock. What's also important to note is that even Mycroft, the closest person to Sherlock probably, acknowledges that Sherlock doesn't have friends, and that he forming some sort of relationship with John is clearly odd behaviour. 

Anddddd lastly, John Watson. I love the contrast between John and Sherlock, mainly through the fact that Sherlock has the brains,  but is lacking heart, and John is the exact opposite, yes he is smart for an average human being but he is nowhere near as smart as Sherlock, but he does have the heart. I feel like they are made to complete each other and when they aren't together, something always ends up going wrong (though I will explore this when it comes to later episodes). They are also very similar in an odd way, they enjoy the danger they put themselves in. When John started doubting Sherlock slightly after Sally said that “he gets off on it” Sherlock was quick to point out that “he[I] said danger, and here he[you] are”. They both enjoy the adrenaline that solving crimes gives them, and its beautiful to see that while the characters evolve, change, mature and make mistakes, that doesn't change about them. 

Whoooooshhh that was a ride, anyways, i will try doing one of these a week if anyone seems to like them, let me know of anything you would add (i most definitely missed something) or just your overall thoughts, I’d love to hear them! Apologies for repeating myself so much, if you would like a summary then: Sherlock is a lonely genius. 

[swissmissficrecs]

hi, do you have anything on sherlock being a prostitute? have a great day

Reply: I saw your second message where you found what you were looking for, but in case anyone else can’t find it because the title may not be obvious on the master list:

Homeless and Street Workers

Plus some additional sex worker fics (both Sherlock and John)

Dr. John H. Watson, Sexual Surrogate by smurff (21K, E, Johnlock) A sexual surrogate is a therapist who engages in intimate physical contact with clients who have sexual anxiety. After several men who have visited a surrogate go missing, Sherlock goes undercover and makes an appointment to see Dr. John Watson, Sexual Surrogate.

Cybernetic Conflict by Belladonna_Q (13K, E, Johnlock) John is a sexbot who has developed sentience and refuses to follow instructions. Sherlock is brought in to repair him.

Ecstasy by Indybaggins (16K, E, Johnlock, Sherlock/OMC) John never learned how to do this here, in sordid London, where every bloke lines up in a queue of ads and everyone has someone else every night. (Not exactly a sex worker but I think it fits the vibe.)

Reason goes before a Fall by Lorelei_Lee (27K, M, Johnlock) John Watson is just a man. A man whose tolerance for sexual frustration has almost reached its limit. The object of his desire? Sherlock. The problem? Sherlock thinks he's straight and John doesn't think Sherlock's interested. Sherlock is just a man too, but he doesn't want to jeopardise their friendship. The solution? A prostitute who looks a lot like Sherlock. This is never going to end well...

Sherwood by Jlocked, The_Lady_of_Purpletown (70K, E, Johnlock, Sheriarty, Warstan) John is happily married, but after some vague fantasies he has started questioning his sexuality. In his search for answers, he is helped by an old friend from medical school, who introduces him to the work of the unusual actor H. Sherwood.

Software Malfunction by tiger_in_the_flightdeck (16K, E, Johnlock) Assigned as the head of Medical Research on the Baker, John Watson meets- and quickly falls in love with- Sherlock, a specially commissioned Companion android with a malfunction.

The Best Antidote by Calais_Reno (ACD, 16K, M, Johnlock) A very young and serious Holmes meets a rather bold and equally young Watson who has found himself in a spot of trouble.

The Pleasure-Dome Hotel by raiining (16K, E, Johnlock) This is the fic where I said 'in the BDSM world AU Sherlock would totally make John strip for him.  And kneel.  And ... do other stuff.' and then I realized I couldn't write sex.  And velvet_mace said she could write sex and yes.  Yes she can.  So we wrote this.  Its porn with plot.  Over 16,000 words of porn! and much less of plot.

[tiger-moran]

I’m reading a book called Beyond Watson which is supposedly an anthology of “stories NOT told by Dr John H. Watson” and all told by other characters but of course the one involving Moran is a massive let down.

:/

For one thing half of it’s written by Watson despite the claim on the cover and part of that is just lifted straight from the canon. Maybe you shouldn’t have called this anthology that and described it that way if you’re just going to have Watson write half of what was meant to be Moran’s story.

For another thing Moran’s section is written in that interview style where you only hear half of everything that happens like when the interviewer asks him a question you only hear his response never the question and this is a story style which really gets on my nerves (there’s a whole other story by Holmes written in that same completely one-sided style and that is also Very Irritating).

And for another thing it’s The Valley of Fear told from Moran and Moriarty’s point of view which could have been really interesting and is something I’d love to be able to do myself (though I know I never will) but really... nothing happens? They barely do anything. Moran just ends up standing about waiting for someone else to do something and that’s like... all he does, stands about watching for a bit and then clears off.

And yet another thing, it has them both being taken in by something that is absurdly obvious which is just lousy characterisation not only for them but also for Holmes (cos people do realise right, if you portray Moriarty as actually a piss poor criminal ‘genius’ that doesn’t say much about Holmes’s intelligence if he thinks Moriarty is really super smart).

And of course here’s yet another story involving Moriarty and Moran where you can’t actually show them as close in any meaningful way because... reasons???

(Good thing I had really low expectations for this or I’d be even more bitter about this story)

[thebeethathums]

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Pairings: John Watson x HolmesTwin!Reader

Warnings: Mention of depression and some dark thoughts. The reader in this fic is a TWIN to Sherlock Holmes and as such shares some physical features to him.

A/N: Bolded text indicates John’s Blog Posts.

You arrived at the crime scene just as Anderson leaned over to touch the body and promptly snapped, “Don’t even think about it, Anderson. Get out before your sticky fingers contaminate everything.”

He looked startled by your harsh tone but you ignored it, adding, “Now," as Lestrade jabbed a thumb for him to leave and you dropped down to a crouch next to the body, eyes moving rapidly over the man and taking note of any bare skin. You stood after only a moment and looked to Lestrade, “Test any and all bare skin as well as all his clothes for traces of poison, lotion, body spray… anything that goes on the skin.”

He looked at you quizzically and you hummed, “The killer was gone before he collapsed and he suspected nothing… it took some time to take effect, so I thought it had to be a pill but if the right formula was applied to the skin-“

“It would be absorbed and make its way into the bloodstream quickly but with enough of a delay for the killer to leave,” John finished, his voice dripping with amazement, “That changes everything.”

“Exactly.” You stated, offering him a half grin before wandering off to look around some more as you sorted through your new theories. Both John and Lestrade watched you go and the detective inspector let out the air in his lungs in a smooth huff, “She seems better…”

John nodded, “There are ups and downs… some days she doesn’t leave her room and others she just sits and stares at the wall for hours on end, but she’s trying.”

“John?”

They both turned to where you were looking over some documents distractedly, your brow furrowed, “I’m leaving.”

“Alright, I’ll-“

“Go home. I’ll be there in a bit.”

The folder and its contents slipped to the floor as he gaped at you confusedly and you looked down at them dejectedly, bringing your other hand up to press at your shoulder as Lestrade gently asked, “Are you alright, (F/n)?”

You came out of your thoughts with a start, quickly nodding as you glanced up at him and then dropped to your knees to collect the papers, “I’m fine. Just lost my grip on it.”

“That hasn’t happened in a while, (F/n)… Is your shoulder bothering you?” John worried, dropping to help you as he fretted.

“It’s fine, John. Quit fretting and go home.”

He went to protest but you were already up and stalking out, leaving the file in his hands, so he let out a resigned sigh, wished Lestrade a good night, and then went home to wait for you. You showed up a few hours later with bleeding knuckles and a bag full of god knows what and John was up in a flash, trying to get you to give him your hands, “What happened?”

You expertly avoided him, only shrugging as you went into the kitchen and began to grab vials and a pair of goggles, and he let out a frustrated huff. There was no way he was getting anything out of you with the way you were acting; Sherlock acted similarly when he was working on something important or... simply important to him.

The Madness Returns  

I have been banished from the kitchen. Something I’m fairly certain is a good thing with the way she’s working in there. She’s been at it for a few days now… from what I can tell she’s trying to both recreate the poison Molly found on the latest victims lips and create an antidote. I think she’s frustrated that she can’t figure out the connection between the five men or how exactly the poison was administered. She’s talking more then ever though- even if it's in almost frantic blurbs as she works. I’ve learned that she’s not as good at science as Sherlock was but is still far above the average person. She claims technology is more her thing.  

I’m a little worried though. She may seem less sad but I think she’s just pushing it to the back of her brain so she can work. I’m also not certain if she’s slept since she started and her problem with her arm is worse than ever. A fact proven by the six vials she’s broken so far… the main reason she has insisted I order take away as whatever was in them was no doubt highly toxic.

Maybe I should stop worrying. Sherlock did things like this all the time, minus the arm issue, and this is actually rather tame compared to some of the experiments he ran for days on end without sleep. I’ll never forget the time I came home to some sort of carnage splattered all over the kitchen cabinets because he had ‘accidentally’ caused his current experiment to explode. It took months to clean everything properly and even longer to get rid of the smell.

She talks about him occasionally now, telling me stories from when they were young, but only when she is really distracted. Sometimes I wonder if she even realizes she’s doing it or if her subconscious mind is just trying to remain connected to him somehow. Either way, it’s kind of nice to hear about him in that way.

Oh! I met someone at the clinic the other day and tonight I have a date! She seems like a very nice woman and very pretty… I hope it goes well. I felt like we had an instant connection and she laughed at my bad jokes... so you know it was worth giving it a shot. I haven’t been dating much since he died. It might be nice to try and get my life back on track.  

Yet another vial smashed to the ground but you didn’t care… you’d finally come up with an antidote that worked in the same fashion as the poison- all you needed to do was test how long it took to counteract it. You stretched your arms over your head and gave a loud yawn before deciding that you should have a shower as a reward for your diligent work… not to mention you smelled a little.

You did a quick clean up and then hopped into the embrace of a stream of warm water, letting your mind stay busy with your work as you scrubbed down and shampooed and conditioned your hair. It was much easier to take care of now that it was short and you’d been trimming it often to keep it at a length that just grazed your jawline. You actually liked the way it looked, your dark curls just sort of bouncing around your face, the only problem was that it got in the way at times and you found yourself accidentally inhaling it when you were focused.

You felt a lot better and could think more clearly after your shower, ruffling your hair dry as you ventured into the living room to see if John wanted Chinese for dinner. You chatted away distractedly for a good fifteen minutes before you realized he wasn’t home and retrieved your phone to ask where he was, “I’ve been talking to you for fifteen minutes… when did you go out?- (F/I)H”

“About an hour ago. I did tell you I was going on a date. – JW”

“A date? I didn’t know you had a significant other. –(F/n)H”

“It’s a first date. I’ll be home later. –JW”

You huffed in annoyance but let him be; you needed to finish your experiment anyway. It wasn’t until you were spreading a colored version of the antidote over your lips to test its absorption rate that something clicked.

A first date.

It was so obvious.

How do single men in their late twenties to late thirties get poisoned through their lips without the killer alerting them to it?  A kiss.

A kiss at the end of a first date to be specific… that’s why none of their friends knew that they were seeing someone and the murders couldn’t be linked- it was a new relationship in it's earliest stage.

Clever.

You heard the door open downstairs and you paled as your brain put things together:

Mid-thirties- No close family- First date… Oh no.

John.