#Fishy god dammit

[thatchaoticace]

MM14 spoilers

I'm gonna be thinking about this for a while

[britany1997]

Signed, Sealed, Delivered…I’m Yours

Paul x GN Selkie Reader

Paul x creature partner is my favvvv, think he would be so cute with a selkie reader🥰🥰 hope y’all love this! Not sure if there will be more yet but I plan to keep it fluffy regardless:)

(Also Paul is on the Santa Carla ocean conservation board because of Fishy, so he’s an advocate for all sea creatures🥹)

Warnings: reader is mentioned to be nude a couple times because in selkie lore, they are when they shed their seal skin🤷🏻‍♀️ (readers body not described)

follow up blurb

Paul’s teeth tore into the skin of some asshole’s neck. He was sure at one point he’d known his name, but after an endless night of sharing joints, it was long forgotten.

Paul wasn’t picky about his blood, but stoners were his filet mignon. They had a sweet and spicy flavor, and they always left him with a buzz.

This one was yummy, but he’d been insufferable. He wore a scarf and wire rimmed glasses he didn’t need, he was a philosophy major who’d met both of his girlfriends in his gender studies class, and ten minutes into their conversation, he’d explained to Paul that it was actually pronounced “Van Goff” and not “Van Go.” Paul had quickly moved him from his smoke circle list to his dinner list.

As he sucked the last drops out of Mr. Pretentious, Paul let his body fall to the sandy ground underneath the boardwalk.

He checked his watch, there was still time before sunrise. Paul couldn’t think of anything better to do with the rest of his night then ride out his high on the beach.

Dwayne seemed to like it after all.

Paul snuck away from his dumping grounds and began to stumble towards the shore.

He paused, rubbing his eyes.

He had to be hallucinating, because reclining on the sand was the most attractive person he’d ever seen in his unlife…

…totally naked. God what was in that weed.

He rubbed his eyes again. You were still there.

So this was why Dwayne loved the beach so much.

You were radiant. Alluring in a way that made Paul swear he’d dreamed you up. No person was that perfect. He was over the moon instantly.

A look of pure determination washed over his face as he desperately tried to conjure the words to speak to you. He scowled as he thought this would have been a lot easier if he was sober.

After a few minutes, he realized he’d better come up with something quick because he’d been fumbling around behind you for an almost unacceptable amount of time.

Just as he was about to approach you, he watched you shiver as a cool breeze blew past. Your arms crossed over yourself, rubbing your shoulders as you tried to keep warm.

Paul softened. He may have been a bloodthirsty, vicious vampire. But dammit, he was also a gentle man.

His eyes scanned the shore until they landed on a sleek leather coat.

Paul strode to your side and picked up the coat, smoothing it out a little.

You whirled around, fear blooming in your chest at the sight of a strange man holding your coat, your only escape to the ocean.

But instead of keeping the coat for himself, he flashed you a warm smile and held it out to you.

“You must be freezing,” he said, maintaining impressive eye contact as your naked body graced the sand.

Your jaw dropped. You’d heard many horror stories from elder selkies about the cruel and savage human men who would hunt down stunning selkies, only to take their coats and lock them away. Confining the selkies to the land, and shackling them to the men who’d stolen from them.

The captured selkies would be forced to live as humans while their hearts ached desperately for the world beneath the water.

You’d met some of your kind who’d suffered this terrible fate and escaped, but some you knew had never returned.

But this sweet, handsome man, he was giving you your coat? You’d never heard of such a kind human man.

You took the coat from his hands, half expecting him to yank it back, but he didn’t, he let you take it. “Thank you,” you uttered reverently, folding the coat over your arms.

“No problem baby,” his smile widened, “what’s a babe like you doing out here so late?”

Your eyes narrowed in confusion. “I- I’m not a baby,” you told him. You had thought you looked like any regular adult human in this form.

Paul’s eyes widened, “oh uh, no sorry that’s not what I meant,” he rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s like uh…well you know it’s a nickname.”

He was wayyy to high for this.

“Nick…name?” You rubbed your temples, “but my name is not nick…” you trailed off, confused.

Paul’s head was pounding. “No, sugar, it’s like um…it’s like a nice thing to call someone you know?”

Your face flashed with something Paul thought resembled understanding as you nodded slowly.

“Damn babe, you from outer space or somethin?” He asked, only half-joking.

“No,” you replied.

“Mkay,” he shrugged, hey he had secrets too, one of them was currently decomposing under the boardwalk.

He noticed your shoulders shake before realizing the coat was still in your arms, “you’re not gonna put that on sweetheart?” he asked.

Your lips pulled downward. You weren’t ready to change back yet. Not when you were having such a wonderful time with this man. He was teaching you important human things. You figured you’d better stick around.

You vigorously shook your head no.

Paul mirrored your frown. He couldn’t let you freeze to death. “Alright baby well at least take mine,” he offered as he shrugged out of his own jacket and placed it around your shoulders.

You could have melted into a puddle right there.

This man hadn’t just returned your coat. He’d given you his coat as well. What a strong man he must be to brave the cold. He would be the perfect mate.

You practically purred as he buttoned the jacked around your shoulders. You leaned in to nuzzle against his shoulder. “You’re so strong” you hummed, “so warm, so handsome.”

God bless the beach.

Paul beamed, “yeah baby? I hit the gym every now and again, nothin special.” He flexed his bicep with a smirk.

“Mmm,” you hummed, moving closer to press your cheek to his chest, wrapping your arms around him, desperate to be close.

A goofy smile spread across Paul’s face as he couldn’t imagine a man on earth as lucky as he was.

Then he remembered. Daylight.

His watch confirmed his fears, it was time to go.

“Listen sugar, I could do this all night but I’ve gotta get going,” he cursed his Sun intolerant vampire body, “but give me your number honey and I’ll call you anytime.”

You glanced up at him, confusion written all over your face. “Which number do you want?” You asked.

His brow furrowed, “home, cell, work, whatever you have babe.”

“Three?” You guessed.

Paul shook his head in disbelief.

“Let’s try this, where do you live baby?” He asked.

You smiled, you knew this one.

“With you,” you purred, wrapping yourself around him once more.

Paul raised an eyebrow, “what?”

“I live with you now,” you informed him.

Paul stood still for a second, processing as you held him.

“Yeah ok,” he said, taking your hand and tugging you toward his motorcycle. Best night ever.

TLB Taglist❤️: (comment to be added)

@6lostgirl6 @misslavenderlady @crustyboypix @arenpath @anna1306 @bloodywickedvamp @kurt-nightcrawler @ria-coolgirl @gothamslostboy @vampirefilmlover @lostboys1987girl @solobagginses @dwaynedelight @dwaynesluscioushair @warrior-616 @sad-ghost-of-garbage @chiefdirector @its-freaking-bats @arbesa-mind @f4iryfxies @mickkmaiden333 @bitchyexpertprincess @katerinaval @rynsfandomsfun @softchonk @walmart-cereal @fraudfrog @memphiscity69

[ddollfface]

oh my god. i loved your lovesick!sailor. just a thought, could reader's child have given his mother's escape plan? i mean hes such a sweet sweet child but what if he's finally tired of the neglect?:( dad loves him so much, sailor dad tells him that mother loves him too but poor baby can't help but start to lose hope.

maybe a sharp sense of feeling made him suggest the idea that, 'i think mom is going somewhere' to his dad?

he doesn't want to but- he needs love from his mother too:(

what abt sailor just trying to trap reader with yet ANOTHER baby, just so happens to be a girl this time, one who looks exactly like her. but baby girl wants to stay on land and refuses to aid her mother anyhow.

JUST A THOUGHT. I MAY HAVE INDULGED WAY TOO DEEP INTO THIS😞🙏

YES! You got exactly what I was putting down!!!

That's what I was trying to insinuate with that little line, but I was trying to be sneaky with it -- I'm just happy that someone caught onto it!

I like to imagine that your baby boy was slowly climbing the stairs, looking over his shoulders every few seconds, just to see if you'd follow after him. He wants his mama to tuck him in, to lull him to sleep with soft humming, instead of the crashing of waves and heavy thumping of thunder.

His tiny feet patted against the splintered stairs, old and creaky wood making the slightest noise under his weight. His stuffy held close to his chest, his nose stuffed into the soft material, inhaling your scent that clung onto the toy seal. Sniffling as he walked through the cold halls. The walls a light tan, cracks creeping along every corner as dirt and old salt filled all the crevices. No matter how much his Pa cleaned, there was always the looming scent of sea salt and the earthy grains of sand throughout the Lighthouse.

But that's expected, especially since this Lighthouse has been around for decades. If anything, it's surprising it's still standing. The wooden floorboards covered by a burgundy carpet, one that's long and stretches far down the hallway, and only ends at the foot of the ladder, which leads up to the top. The carpet has golden borders, and little tuffs of wool frame the carpet at the ends. Depictions of the sea string along the floor. Naked women with the bodies of seals lounging on the rocks have always caught the little boy's eyes, seeing as he's never seen such a creature before.

He hopes they are, they seem so beautiful. He would love to meet a woman who had the body of a seal, he's sure they'd be lovely to talk to. The little boy would continue down the hall, letting his eyes linger on the depictions of sea life, wondering what the waves would feel like, or how the sand would move under his feet. If only his Pa would let him go to the ocean; what was he afraid of?

His small feet quicken their steps, creating a small thump against the floor, but it diminished by the soft carpet. His mind wandered to the ocean, longing for what it was like. He wants to feel the sand through his fingers, to swim with the little fishies, or to jump over waves. His Pa always talks about the ocean, about his voyages across the seven seas, and how he stopped all that for his Mama.

But... his mama didn't talk about the ocean often. Though she did sit on the window seal, staring off into the distance. Sometimes she'd even let him sit with her! Oh, how he loved to sit with his Mama, laying between her legs as she detangled his long curls. He loved his Mama so, so much...

"God dammit! Where the hell is she?!"

The door at the end of the hall slammed open, revealing his Pa. The boy's eyes widened, surprised as he'd never seen his Pa act so sporadically. He held the stuffy closer to his chest, keeping eye contact with his father as he rapidly approached him, his Pa's hands grasping his shoulders.

"Did you see her, baby? Where's Mama?" His Pa's eyes were wide, filled with panic and fear, causing the boy to become worried as well. Should he have stopped his Mama? Cried for her to stay with him and come up the stairs? Was his Mama okay? Why was Pa so worried?

The boy licked his lips, looking off to the side. Though he wanted his Pa to make sure Mama was okay, he had a gut feeling that something wasn't right. His Mama wouldn't leave him, right?

He gulped, his gaze flickering from the ground to his stuffy seal, tightening his grasp around the toy. Sniffling, he shook his head, peering up at his Pa through his blonde lashes.

"Nuh-uh, Pa... I didn't see her, I was just getting some water..." He mumbled, lying through his teeth. Something in his gut churned, something wasn't right, and he knew it. His Mama wasn't one to act irrationally, and she'd never do something that wasn't in his best interest, right?

For some reason, the boy thought that the ocean had something to do with this. He could almost hear the waves crashing against the rocks, a soft melody that lulled him to come closer. His eyes perked at the sound. his nostrils flared. Suddenly, it felt as if the ocean was right in front of him. He could almost feel the wind blowing through his hair and the sand beneath his feet.

He felt distant as his Pa ruffled his hair, ushering him to bed, before running down the stairs. His body felt different as if something had changed. Something was wrong, and he could feel it in his soul, heart, and mind.

Throughout his whole life, he's longed for the ocean, always calling out to it from afar, but it seems that the ocean has heard his pleas.

Maybe his Mama heard it too?

.

.

.

But yeah, that's kinda of a small drabble of what I imagine to happen. I've always been interested in mythologies around the world. Selkies specifically have always caught my eye, so I just wanted to write a small story about the myth.

From my various readings, I've seen a couple of stories about how the children of a selkie, specifically if their father's a human, will usually have some type of aquatic features (EX: webbed fingers, slit pupils, or being born with a pelt of some kind).

There's not a lot of literature focusing on the children of selkies, but there's a lot of speculation that the children are born with a pelt (like their mother). Some think that the pelt comes as a type of afterbirth, or they're born as a seal and shed their pelt (possibly the reverse as well). But I like to think that they earn their pelt from greeting the ocean or something.

I don't know where I read this, but I heard that if they have a daughter, then she's going to be a selkie. But if the baby is a boy, then he'll just be a regular human with a love for the ocean. I literally have no clue where I heard this, but I saw it somewhere (I cannot find it anywhere, SOS).

So I think it's an interesting idea that reader and LoveSick!Sailor had a little boy who longed for the ocean and a daughter who despises the ocean, though she's a selkie or something. It's kinda like their roles are reversed, which is an interesting thought.

[howlingday]

Jaune's Shampoo

Sea Feilong

"DAMMIT, NORA!" Jaune opened his shower door. As he exited, he noticed his body had drastically changed. Using a mixture of his shampoo and experimental goo found at the fiendish Dr. Merlot's laboratory, Nora had unwittingly created a mutagen just to prank her team leader.

Jaune opened the door to his shower and almost immediately fell over. Crossing his arms, he braced for impact with the bathroom floor. Everything felt hot and wet around him, and for some reason he was enjoying this feeling.

Looking back to his legs, he noticed they were not only gone, but completely replaced a long, black, scaley tail, ending with red fins. Towards his lower back, just above his, uh, "cushion" were a pair of red, bat-like wings that, when spread out, were as long as his chest.

With a groan, he crawled his way to the bathroom door, only to find himself unable to stand. He never realized how much he took his legs for granted until now. For now, he would have to hope Nora was standing close by to see her prank. Time to bite the bullet and take whatever mockery she had in store for him.

"Nora?" He called. "Are you out there?"

"Nobody but me, Vomit Boy."

Oh no. Anyone but her.

"Uh, you stuck in there, dude?" Yang asked.

"Uh... Kinda?" He sighed. "Listen, my scroll is next to my bed. It has a Team Leader override in the event of emergencies that-"

"Yeah, yeah, I got it." Yang called back. "Ruby uses it twice a week for her own kinds of..." Yang's voiced faded for a moment before returning. "Before I unlock the door, are you decent?

"Uh..." Jaune looked to his tail. "Kinda?"

"Do you have a towel on?"

Sweat built on Jaune's brow. "No."

"Can you get to one?"

Jaune gulped "No."

"Alright, just..." Yang sighed. "Just don't make this weird."

"I can't promise that."

With a click, the door unlocked and came open. Jaune pushed himself away to give Yang room, and stared into her eyes as they bulged from her sockets. Her hand came up to her mouth.

"Oh my god..." She said. "I thought there was something FISHY going on here."

"Damn it, Yang." Jaune sighed. "Can you help me up?"

"Shore thing, Jaune." Jaune groaned as she lifted him up. "Oof! Looks like I caught a fish this... Huh."

"What?"

"Nothing, you just..." Her nose twitched. "You smell pretty good for a fish-man."

"Uh, what do I smell like?"

"What did the bottle say it was?"

"It was that black bottle with no label." Jaune pointed to the shower.

"You used a bottle of shampoo without looking at the label?"

"Yeah." Jaune answered. "Is that bad?" Yang looked him up and down. Jaune looked to his tail, which twitched as naturally as flexing his toes. "Ah. Right. Point taken."

"So, where should I drop ya?"

"On my bed." Jaune said. "But, uh, could you tell me what I smell like?"

"Well..." Yang game him a cautious sniff. "Kinda like sandalwood, and..." Jaune felt his heart beat a little faster as she got closer. "...vanilla~."

"Uh, Yang? You're getting kinda CLOH-!" Jaune felt the bed rush to meet his backside, but had little time to adjust as something else that was soft pressed his frontside.

"Oh, I can get a lot closer, Lady Killer~." Yang purred as she hovered over him. He gave a pained face and she pulled away. "Uh, you okay?"

"Yeah, just my wings." Yang pulled away and let Jaune roll over. His wings fully extended high into the air, their maroon webbing cast a shade on the wall.

"Dude..." Yang admired with awe, before she snickered. "Did you just pop a wing boner?"

"N-No!" Jaune exclaimed, not looking her in the face.

"Yes, you did!" She laughed. "That is so cute!" Jaune covered his blushing face, feeling so embarrassed by what just happened. "Hey." Jaune peered through his fingers and found Yang giving him a saucy smile in front of him. "What else can you make pop up~?"

Jaune gulped.

Peering through a crack in the door, teal eyes watched with excitement. "See, Ren?! I told you it would work!"

[knockyasocksoff2022]

Deaf or Mute Dazai Headcannons

Deaf Dazai:

Absolute little shit (as per usual)

If he doesn't want to 'listen' to what someone is saying he just closes his eyes so he can't see them signing. Or turns his back if he wants to be extra obnoxious.

Tricks Kunikida into sighing naughty things by telling him they mean something else.

Or he tells Kunikida he just mistakenly signed something dirty and Kunikida gets all embarrassed until Dazai does his "I'm just messing with you" thing and Kunikida loses his shit.

Signs random words while smirking as a joke so people think he's saying something dirty but he's really just spouting gibberish.

Blasts music through his headphones so loud others can hear it and Kunikida always gets so mad because "You can't even hear god dammit!"

Sings his sucide songs which sounds even more obnoxious because he can’t hear himself and is way off key. He also uses sign to sing the “verses” and has made up dance moves to go that incorporate the signs. It’s a whole production at this point and poor Kunikida just wants a break.

This has caused the ADA to wonder multiple times if Dazai is actually deaf or just really dedicated to his act.

Chuuya makes a big show of not wanting to learn sign language . . .

but he spends countless hours making sure he's fluent enough that he can understand Dazai and have his back in a fight. they can sign so fast at this point that it may as well be their own secret language.

Dazai has a habit of pointing to Chuuya or spelling out Chuuya's name when he wants to say something/someone is short.

Uses Chuuya as a comparison. "It was two Chuuya's long" or "Half a Chuuya"

He and Chuuya have made up some of their own signs, kind of like tactical hand signs used in the military.

Most of the signs they made are just insults though.

Both of them know the sign for stupid/idiot in almost every sign language and use them frequently. Dazai also knows short.

Can use body language to 'talk' to each other without anybody else noticing.

Still have codewords, just in sign language instead.

Dazai can lip read accurately but loves giving false readings just to be funny.

Chuuya: *says something*

Dazai: *signing/writing back with a confused look on his face* Pink elephants do what?

Chuuya: I know you understood me you fishy bastard!

Dazai: *sighing/writing* You want me to stitch faster?

*They end up fighting*

Chuuya can read lips as well, another way they can subtlety communicate.

Mute Dazai:

Most of the Port Mafia & all of the ADA know sign language.

Has an LCD (Liquid Crystal Display) Writing Tablet that he uses to 'talk' in meetings because it's easier to erase than a whiteboard.

Knows cursive, his handwriting is beautiful and has a calligraphy-like style to it because he has to write so much.

Chuuya used to find it annoying and hard to read but now it's like a code between them because it's so complicated that people who don't have experience with them can't read it.

Tried and failed to teach Chuuya calligraphy. (Chuuya is one of those people who writes using all capital letters and has neat blocky handwriting)

Actually knows how to mime

When he first partnered with Chuuya he used to annoy him by only miming and refusing to write/use sign language.

Now Soukoku is banned from charades at PM game night because they always win.

Will confuses enemies/random people by starting to mime out of nowhere.

He loves doing silent screams.

He and Chuuya sometimes prank people by doing a sort of ventriloquist act (Not really but that’s the only thing I can compare it to). (Sorry if I spelt that wrong). Chuuya will hide and Dazai will go up and start “speaking” to someone. Dazai will mouth the words as if he’s talking while Chuuya is actually talking and it freaks the crap out of everyone who knows them because they can’t see Chuuya and they’re looking for him (he’s just chillin’ floating high above or something like that. Maybe even directly over the head of the person they’re pranking, but too high for them to notice.) Meanwhile Dazai/Chuuya is just talking about a totally normal subject. They’ve gotten so good at this that they can often fool enemies who haven't met Chuuya into thinking Dazai can talk.

[noonmutter]

Best Boy

DWC Feb 2024 Day 4: Vengeance/Satisfaction

Pandaria was already meeting spring with wide open arms, and the cheerful, bright sunlight was almost offensive to Shedwyn's eyes. That wasn't really new, though; everything was almost offensive to Shedwyn's eyes right now. Her fucking husband had gone and got himself fucking titled--legitimately titled, through no effort of his own, the fuckhead--and he had no idea how it'd happened. She had even less idea, and his babbling explanation hadn't made it a whole lot clearer.

The fact that they were shouting at each other about it the whole time probably hadn't helped.

But still.

Fucker.

After they'd gone in circles for about half an hour, and she'd slugged him in the chest a little bit harder than she'd actually meant to, she'd decided it was time for a breather.

"I'm going to Leon's. I need sex in my mouth right now and I don't mean you."

"First of all, fuckin' ew--"

"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT, ASSBAG OF KEEL."

She hadn't realized she'd been growling obscenities, mostly about her husband, out loud until the younger Ambroce whistled at her from his front door.

"Y'gonna keep me in suspense or kin we take this inside?"

"I want to be petulant and snarl some more and maybe blow something up, but I also want pizza, and I know if I do the first thing I won't get the second."

Leon nodded and stepped aside to let her into the house. "Yer becomin' downright self-policin' these days. I'm pretty sure tha's a good thin', but..."

"Shut up and feed me."

"Fine, but this better be good, y' grumpy li'l shit." He adored his sister-in-law, but that also meant he was a lot more willing to be crass with her than most. She was family, ergo she was tough enough to take a little bit of honest ribbing.

"Food then snark. Please. I want to not be the adult right now."

"Fair enough. Does tha' mean I don't get an explanation? Only if tha's th' case, I'm not gonna make yer fav'rite."

"But--"

"Them's th' rules."

Shedwyn sighed. She would kill a man for anchovies, and the man who did the absolute best thing with them was standing right in front of her, and she was a Lady, god dammit, and... She sighed again. She could be polite for a little while.

"All right."

"Attagirl."

"Don't push it, Ambroce."

Laughing, Leon closed the door behind them and fled to the kitchen to get to work. It was a good thing everyone else had left for their own chores for the day, or the complaints would've started within five minutes of the fishy dish going into the oven. For the most part, the house smelled of salt, generic "fish" smell, shrimp, ham, cheese, and tomatoes, but those first two really overpowered the rest. Anchovies were not popular at the restaurant in Stormwind, but the ones who liked them really liked them, as he'd found out, so he kept a small supply at home for emergencies. Emergencies like his little mana-bomb of a sister having a bad day, for example.

They didn't talk about much of anything while he was cooking. Leon was too focused to offer up much of anything without being prompted, and Shedwyn was in no mood to talk like an adult yet. She was in the mood to pout, and scream, and maybe punch Terry again. She'd had to go through so frickin' much to get her own title set down on paper and into the records that mattered; she'd memorized every stupid word of the stupid Doppelganger Decree of 28 and would probably not be able to forget about it for years. And Terry'd gone and fuckin' farted out a dynasty.

Shedwyn Lias-Ambroce was not strictly speaking a jealous woman, but she had limits. It just wasn't fair!

Somewhere amid the interminable brooding, a steaming pizza appeared on the table in front of her, and the clouds parted. Angels didn't sing, because angels sucked and didn't like anchovies, but that was fine. More for her. The first bite was always the best, but the second through sixth bites were pretty damned amazing, too.

Leon was kind enough to wait until she'd torn through two slices before he cleared his throat. When Shedwyn was not immediately forthcoming, he made his point by taking a slice of his own and sitting down. She growled to herself, then picked up a napkin and dabbed at her mouth.

"Your brother got lucky again."

"...Like yer 'avin' another kid, or...?"

This time, the sigh was loud, extremely melodramatic, and seemed almost to propel her backwards to drape over the back of her chair. "Like he didn't end up dead or promoted at the end of the Gilneas campaign, so he fell ass-backwards into a viscountcy instead!"

Leon blinked, then took a bite of his slice. Nope. Still don't like anchovies. "Alright..?"

"All right? Really? That's the first thing you say? Your brother's a goddamn titled, landed Gilnean nobleman out of nowhere! After all the shit I went through to get my shitty little Barony carved out of Duskwood! Not only does he just walk into some office in Stromgarde and walk out with a title, he walks out outranking me! Which I didn't know I would care about until it happened!"

Leon said nothing, simply letting her unload, as was his wont. His neverending patience pissed her off even more, as was her wont.

"I had, and still have, to work my absolute ass off for every single scrap I've ever gotten or ever will get, and then I have to work even more to keep it, and your bullfuckin' Ambroce luck has Terry just survive long enough! What the fuck, Leon?!"

When she stopped to ask him a question, even if it was a rhetorical one, Leon looked up from finishing off his slice. He calmly licked his fingers, then set his elbows on the table. Then, he set his chin on his hands. "Would it 'elp any if I said it wasn't all luck this time?"

"Well of course it wasn't all luck, it takes a shitload of skill to survive the absolute fuckalanche of shit he's been through, but--"

"No, I mean it was me."

That stopped the little mage mid-rant. "What was you?"

"Th' Gilnean Repatriation Initiative sent out letters somethin' like a month ago. I got one, you prolly got one tha' got tossed out, knowin' 'ow you an' Terry feel about anythin' bearin' th' royal seal of anywhere."

Shedwyn gaped.

Leon continued, "I'm just as much a Gilnean as 'e is, but I've my life 'ere, an' I very much like it. An' really, goin' 'ome does not bring 'appy mem'ries t' th' fore. Maybe I coulda got th' ranch back, but... gods, I don't want it. But I know Terry does. An' anybody 'o'd met th' man fer five minutes knew 'e'd go back t' Gilneas th' instant th' call went out. So I sent a reply with a couple suggestions."

Shedwyn's hair was starting to crackle like one of those globe toys that made lightning strike where your fingertips touched them.

Leon, undeterred, picked up the pizza plate and walked it back into the kitchen.

"My brother is a turd, a recoverin' racist, an' more than a bit of a jackass. But 'e's also an extremely patriotic, loyal man when 'e wants t' be. Tha's admirable as 'ell! Downright noble, even. Apparently they agreed, eh?"

The chair clattered to the floor as Shedwyn stood up, both hands up in front of her, grasping at the air in a strangling motions.

"You- you-"

"Feel free t' tell 'im Leroy says congratulations." He turned and stared her straight in the eye, even as they crackled with arcane lightning. "Elroy does, too."

Later on, Shedwyn would say the only reason Leon survived that meeting was because she didn't want to destroy the house, his spouses didn't deserve that.

Mostly it was because everytime she'd try to gather up the energy to cast something, he'd headbutt her, and she was too stubborn to dodge.

( @daily-writing-challenge @shedwyn )

[spaceumbredoggos]

God fucking dammit SoCal. It’s almost October. Why won’t you cool off?

We had one week of nice 70s weather and you RUINED IT!!!!

@fishy--friend glad you don’t live in SoCal? Currently, with the hurricane in the gulf coast and the heat wave here, it’s like Groudon and Kyogre decided that it’s a good idea to pretend that the US is the Hoenn region.

[criminalweasel]

Regarding this comic-

• Althea's hand in the first panel looks like a little fishy :3

• Nevermind the anatomy in the bottom left corner.

• God dammit, Althea. I look away for five seconds and you're jumping off a bridge.

Sorry I was gone for so long :) Every week is final's week.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: West Coast Avengers #29: Dead Run!

February, 1988

MOON KNIGHT fights alone!

Dammit, Moon Knight! You forgot the buddy system! Your designated buddy is Tigra! Where is Tigra, Moon Knight!

I have to give him this though. He caught up to Taurus pretty quickly.

This is a pretty cool cover, I have to say. Very dynamic. A cover is supposed to make you want to buy the issue and a crashing plane makes the kids at the newsstand sit up and go ‘hah, he’s horny.’

Anyway.

Last time on West Coast Avengers on the West Coast: the crime organization Zodiac was destroyed by a group of robots called Zodiac, led by Nick Fury’s robot brother. Taurus of the first group of Zodiac went to get the Avengers’ help in destroying the second group of Zodiac. Using his astrology knowledge. Because the robots’ entire personalities were just based on astrology.

Moon Knight accepted Taurus’ aid but if and only if Taurus agreed to go straight and give up crime. Taurus agreed but escaped Avengers custody as soon as they and robot Zodiac were teleported to another dimension.

Moon Knight is feeling pretty betrayed that the guy did not honor a promise so in the name of the moon, he’s going to punish him.

Taurus actually goes to sometimes Avengers ally the Shroud (who pretends to be a criminal in order to secretly undermine crime) and tries to get him to sign on to be the new Pisces in the new Zodiac he’s building.

For all of Taurus’ astrological knowledge, this feels pretty arbitrary. Maybe Shroud was born between February 19 and March 20th. But he’s got shadow powers and is not really very fishy.

Shroud turns Taurus down because Pisces is a dumb name although its more that joining the Zodiac cartel would complicate his own mission to undermine the underworld.

And for another thing, if Taurus is claiming the Avengers are dead, then why is Moon Knight standing right behind him?

Taurus yells at Moon Knight, telling him he was dumb to believe an oath to the Moon but mostly just reacting to Moon Knight just standing silently and staring at him.

Just. Standing. And staring.

Moon Knight is no Batman except in all the ways he is and one of the ways is striking fear by just standing and staring.

Also, I have to laugh. As part of a monologue about how Taurus doesn’t know what he’s fucking with, Moon Knight thinks “He thinks I’m just a costumed hero! He doesn’t know I serve a god of Ancient Egypt...” which has the same energy as that meme with that guy wallflowering at a party.

Anyway, Taurus also decides that Shroud and him together can beat up Moon Knight.

Womp womp.

Yeah, Shroud is obviously going to take the first excuse to bow out of this situation.

I’m glad Shroud doesn’t have himself so tangled in lies that he would have to fight Moon Knight to maintain his cover. He can just be like hey I’m a criminal but this ain’t my problem, byeeeee.

Taurus gets pissed and whips out his Star-Blazer. Which I guess is a star-themed laser gun.

He also pulls it out of his collar and his costume is pretty skintight looking so I dunno how he hid it. Then again, out of costume Cornelius van Lunt isn’t so beefy so the costume probably fakes a physique. Plenty of room to hid a gun if so.

Glad I figured it out.

Taurus fires the Star-Blazer at Moon Knight who dodges behind a pile of boxes. Taurus blasts the boxes but Moon Knight has already, somehow, relocated to the opposite side of the room.

Where Shroud gives him an inspirational thumbs up.

He believes in him!

With the support of some random guy, Moon Knight tackles Taurus from behind and grabs the bull-man by the horns.

But, suddenly hearing

Khonshu: “I have complete faith in you, Marc Spector!”

in his head distracts Moon Knight and Taurus bucks him off and beats him up a little.

Taurus: “I didn’t create and rule the most successful crime cartel in the history of the world by being inept! When I say you die, you die!”

Marc isn’t really paying much attention to being told to die. He’s still waiting for Khonshu to say something else.

Marc’s other selves Steven Grant and Jake Lockley try to chime in but Marc pushes them back down.

And kicks the crap out of Taurus.

Taurus suddenly realizes, ‘actually, fuck this!’

Taurus: “Blast it! My goal’s recreating the Zodiac, not trading punches with an Avenger!”

Discretion, better part of valor, et cetera.

Taurus bolts out of the warehouse and absconds like a champ.

Moon Knight has a very dark reputation. He’s absolutely believed to have killed some dudes when he was a solo hero but Taurus is pretty sure he won’t kill now that he’s an Avenger.

Pretty sure. Not absolutely sure.

Taurus runs down an ally and climbs a ladder but

Moon Knight is waiting for him at the top.

Taurus: “How did he DO that? HOW?!!”

The astrology-themed crime boss yeets himself off the ladder and runs into the street to jack a car from some poor couple.

Taurus ditches his mask so the cops don’t pull him over for being a bull man driving a car and turns onto the Santa Monica Freeway to lose Moon Knight.

Then the cops try to pull him over anyway because his car is missing a door. Because he ripped the door off to steal it.

Taruus ain’t gonna get pinched for grand theft auto though so he dodges the cops by weaving through traffic.

But just as he escapes the cops, a shadow crosses over him.

ITS MOON KNIGHT!

The sky-cycle does explain how he off-panel teleported to that rooftop honestly.

Taurus panics and drives through the barricade separating lanes. Weaving around oncoming traffic, he takes an entrance ramp, knocks a dude off his motorcycle, and hits a traffic light because he’s swerving around so much.

Taurus: “Holy jumpin’ Joe!!”

Moon Knight keeps up his internal monologue during this chase, narrating to Khonshu.

Except Khonshu responds back.

Moon Knight: “I heard you! I know I heard --”

Khonshu: “Of course you did!”

Moon Knight: “But I don’t want voices in my head! You’ve never talked to me before! I’ve felt your presence, known your will, but the doctors say I’m Marc Spector -- no one else!”

Khonshu: “You need be no one else! You are strongest when well and truly concentrated, to strike well and truly as my fist!”

Except while Moon Knight is talking to his god in his head, Taurus pulls out the star-blazer and star-blasts Moon Knight’s sky-cycle.

It spirals out of control, hits the ground, and explodes.

Taurus is elated.

Taurus: “Ha! He follows like a vengeful ghost, but he’s not a ghost! He’s a man like anybody else, flying a real machine -- and they can be hit!”

Taurus is sure that nobody could survive that crash but when he goes to check, there’s no body.

(I mean, there’s also no seat-belt. Realistically, Moon Knight could have been thrown loose at any part of the crash.)

MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE RANCH

Haha, just kidding. But it is back at the Rancho Palos Verdes, where the West Coast Avengers Compound is.

Shroud calls the West Coast Avengers under the assumption that Moon Knight was working on an Avengers mission to hound Taurus.

But Hawkeye is baffled to hear about it. The West Coast Avengers are trying to track down van Lunt but Moon Knight went off on his own.

Tigra speculates that Moon Knight’s god wouldn’t be happy that Taurus broke a promise on the Moon.

Hawkeye is just generally annoyed that he has to find out what his teammates are doing from an outsider instead of directly. He also proclaims “This is the Avengers, not the God Squad!”

Fun fact: God Squad does later become the name of a Marvel superhero team. Galactus was on it.

So the West Coast Avengers decide to find Moon Knight, Dr Pym tracking down the sky-cycle he took.

Taurus’ run through the woods takes him to an air field, with a plane revving up to go.

So obviously, he’s going to hijack that plane.

Just makes sense.

Moon Knight doesn’t his sky-cycle anymore so Taurus will escape by aiiiiir!

The pilot in the plane isn’t too intimidated by the guy waving around a toy-looking gun but he concedes once Taurus uses the Star-Blazer to blow a hole in a hangar roof.

Taurus refuses to give the guy a destination OR to listen when the pilot tries to tell him how much fuel the plane has. So the guy takes off. Taurus scans the airfield and the sky out the window as the plane takes off.

Taurus: “No sign of him on the ground -- ! Nothing in the sky, either, this time! And I’d see it, if there were! His stupid Moon works against him now, making everything as bright as day -- ! But I want every instrument you’ve got looking for anything approaching us! You hear me?”

But when he turns to look at the pilot for confirmation...

HI MOON KNIGHT!

Hey. So. I know Batman is the night. And also vengeance. And the symbol of fear that puts a frighten in superstitious and cowardly criminals.

But Moon Knight is putting in so much effort fucking with Taurus in this issue.

He’s off-panel teleporting just ahead of him. He’s doing the ‘there was no body’ when he seems to have been killed. AND HE DRESSED UP AS A PILOT just to lure Taurus into a plane and fuck with him more.

No doubt Batman is good at Batmanning. That’s why he’s called Batman.

But Moon Knight is doing the same thing dressed in all white.

Anyway.

After Moon Knight points out that firing the Star-Blazer inside a flying plane is a good way for the plane not to fly anymore, Taurus just throws it at the hero and then tackles him.

Moon Knight does a good job kicking the crap out of Taurus but all the roughhousing is making the plane tumble this way and that and Moon Knight winds up falling on his ass. Taurus takes full advantage.

Taurus: “You’re not a ghost! You fall just like I do! You’ll fall ALL THE WAY!”

And then he shoves him out the door.

But after closing the door behind Moon Knight, the plane starts banking. Taurus looks out the window and finds some THING on the WING!

Not a gremlin though, Moon Knight. He’s hanging on and his weight on the wing is causing the plane to turn. That’s how planes work.

Taurus declares that Moon Knight is a sitting duck and opens the door back up to take a shot at him with the Star-Blazer.

Taurus: “You’ve done your best, Avenger! You’ve done everything you could to get at me -- and you’ve made your point! I’m human! I’ve got my limits! But I’m also Taurus! The leader of the Zodiac! I built an empire once, and I will again! And you’re just a memory -- as of now!”

But Moon Knight lets go of the wing before Taurus can fire.

And the sudden shift in weight causes Taurus to lose balance and accidentally discharge the Star-Blazer through the roof of the plane. The sudden hole causes the plane to start crashing.

This is why it’s important to put a safety on your fantastical star-powered laser gun.

Taurus grabs for the controls but in his busy crime life, he never learned to fly a plane.

And as the plane starts spinning, he spots Moon Knight out the window. Gliding through the air.

Taurus: “NO!! Oh my god -- NOOOOOO”

Bye Taurus.

Hopefully no more Zodiac for a while.

As Moon Knight glides and watches the plane crash, he reflects. On whether this outcome was what Khonshu wanted, whether that makes van Lunt’s blood on Khonshu’s hands or on Moon Knight’s. And most importantly on what now.

Moon Knight’s cloak is only intended for short distance parachuting.

Moon Knight: “I did what was necessary to act as your fist -- but now I need your hand!”

But it’s Iron Man who swoops in and saves Moon Knight.

Iron Man brings Moon Knight into the Quinjet where Hawkeye has some words for him.

Hawkeye: “You’re on probationary status with us, Moon Knight! If ya work out, you’ll be an Avenger -- but workin’ out means workin’ as part of the team! You wanna chase your private enemies in your private career, fine -- but van Lunt was a team enemy, an’ ya don’t run him down without tellin’ us!”

Moon Knight apologizes if he stepped on toes by taking unilateral action on the van Lunt thing. But explains that while he wants to be an Avenger (and feels destined to be one), he is also “the Moon’s Knight of Vengeance” and he cannot change his methods.

Hawkeye objects on the grounds that Moon Knight’s spooky routine and van Lunt’s death will make the Avengers look bad, like Moon Knight intentionally hounded a criminal to death.

Hawkeye: “Just remember -- Avengers not only don’t kill, they can’t even look like they might!”

But Mockingbird chimes in here with some dissent.

She suggests that what with the West Coast Avengers being a new team in new circumstances, maybe they should be more flexible!

(Mockingbird: ‘Hey, crazy notion, maybe sometimes murder is good actually?’)

Tigra agrees. She attributes it maybe to the cat part of her soul, but also that the world is a darker, crueler world than it once was. Oh boy, just wait until you get to the 90s.

Iron Man objects that as a founding Avenger, he won’t let the ideals of the Avengers be tarnished. And Hank Pym, also founding Avenger, backs him up.

Wonder Man makes no statements at this time, just looks thoughtful. He’s probably wondering how doing a murder would affect his public image.

AND IN FAIRNESS, that is part of the discussion! Not Wonder Man’s image specifically. But the Avengers, West Coast or not, enjoy a level of public support and sometimes governmental support, due to their image. And part of that is the part where they do not do murders.

Moot point in current times, I guess. A lot of superheroes happily kill. Sometimes its because its aliens. Carol Danvers watched a Skrull slowly asphyxiate with a goddamn smile on her face. Geez. This is the same Carol Danvers who once demanded that she be court martialed to see whether her murder of the Master of the World was justified or not.

You think the late 80s are a crueler world, Tigra? It’ll get worse.

ANYWAY.

Hawkeye... well, he doesn’t concede the point. He just says he didn’t realize there was a split in opinion.

Hawkeye: “Well, we’ll talk about this, but I don’t think we’ll ever sanction killing -- !”

Moon Knight wonders to himself (and Khonshu) why Mockingbird stood up for him.

And down on the ground watching the Quinjet fly off, stands Phantom Rider. The ghost, maybe, of the man Mockingbird secretly did a manslaughter to.

A portent that Mockingbird’s secret will out sooner or later.

Oh, Mockingbird, if only you’d hadn’t solely confessed to a robot duplicate of your husband!

Just Comic Problems.

Follow @essential-avengers​ because the Great Lakes Avengers will eventually come out of this drama. Yes, the Great Lakes Avengers. I swear. They’re tied into the Mockingbird killed a cowboy in the past and then lied about it subplot. Ain’t it wild how things are connected sometimes? Anyway, like and reblog please.

[outpost51]

🧠 and 😭 for the snippet asks hit me with your car

Snippet Asks

[revs engine]

🧠 share a snippet where the character realizes something important

highkey popped off with this sequence but also foxy figuring out Something's Fishy About Victor's Death before frankie is [chef's kiss]

“Dammit,” he hisses. “Damn her. Damn whatever rogue process decided to give me feelings.” The static-touched poof of his tail swings into his peripheral vision as it twitches with his growing discontent, and he glances up. The clouds are so dark they’ve turned day into night, and that’s just what he needs, isn’t it? A nightmarish storm roiling above him to match his mood.

He doesn’t have follicles, he knows he’s just fabric over plastic and silicone and metal, so it gives him pause when he can feel more of his fur standing up; it tingles across his synthetic flesh like the first sip of a fresh soft drink, all carbonated fizz dancing up and down his body. If he was in a better mood, maybe he’d even enjoy it, pop open his chest plate and see if he could guide the pleasurable sting to his wires. But he’s not, and he takes the frustration of it out on a nearby trash can with a rough kick. “And damn the stupid.” He kicks it again. “Fuckin’.” And again. “Rain!” And again.

Light and static render him blind, and it’s like the sky cracks open another can of soda, but much louder, like a gunshot in the night, like a skyscraper humbled, collapsing to its knees in surrender to the small, insignificant thing that creates all other things far more significant than itself.

There is no god to a machine, only man, but the gods of men still like to make themselves known, prove their point that man is not the god of this world by far by kicking man’s silly little creations around.

Foxy chokes like only a machine can as his fans seize all of a sudden — one hell of a lightning strike, he thinks for a moment, and then he can no longer think at all. Burning, tarry smoke seeps through his filter and sits there, festering, searing, and he’s unable to blow it back out, to move his arms to open his chest, and like the skyscraper humbled, he too collapses to his knees in surrender to a force even man can’t control. For all his great significance, there are still things far greater.

There is no god to a machine, but there is to this one, specifically, and if he can just get his phone out of his pocket, he can test his faith that she won’t leave him for dead.

NO SERVICE.

Well played, Mother Nature.

A few of his sensors manage to reboot and he can finally toss the cigarette away; it skitters across the ground like a rock skimming the surface of a lake, sparking instead of splashing and finally comes to rest in the pool of coolant kit left behind.

And ignites.

He has no choice but to gaze into the flames as the rest of his body tries to come back online.

CAUSE DETERMINATION: ACCIDENTAL

BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF CAUSE: Suspected heat emissions or sparks from welding equipment igniting open container of coolant placed too close to workbench. All other potential fire causes have been eliminated.

Foxy can’t help but to think of the tiny case file he shouldn’t have pried into, but did anyway. Was this really how Victor went? he wonders as he watches the fire creep closer. Another thought slips through behind the first before he can shut the door on it. This was the last memory Frankie had of her childhood. He flinches when it reaches the edge — and stops. It doesn’t explode. It doesn’t spread.

A strong gust of wind blows an old rug off the metal fence blocking the end of the alley. The fire dies beneath it.

Victor wasn’t a drunk. He wasn’t careless. He loved his kid more than anything, and he would have known how to put the fire out, if he somehow fucked up enough to have something flammable near him while working with anything that could create sparks. A cheerful ding precedes the release of his body from the safety paralysis and he yanks his phone from his pocket to tell her she’s right, something is going on—

NO SERVICE.

“Fuck!” he snarls, and it comes out halfway as a sob, and he hates that tiny sliver of vulnerability even more than the lack of service and the impending rain that decides, in that moment, to no longer settle for ‘impending’.

😭 share a snippet that will break our hearts

[cracks knuckles]

She wants to push, but she holds her tongue. If he can extend her the courtesy of leaving a few of her stones unturned, she can leave a few of his where they are, even if they’re in the way. She covers the stone with a blanket and changes the subject, like it was never there. “Your turn to ask me one.”

Monty raises a brow. “That how we’re doin’ it?” Frankie shrugs. “Arright, then. Why’s it called an… illegal decommissionin’, or whatever? Ain’t it still murder?”

Frankie desperately wants to knock the stone from his hands and demand he pick a different one, and when she meets his eyes to silently plead him to put it down, what she finds there isn’t antagonistic, or accusatory, or even judgmental. It’s just a question, a discussion, nothing more. “I–” Her voice catches. It would be easier if it was a fight. She doesn’t know what to do with the diatribe she’s been spoonfed her entire life in any other context but a passionate screaming match, because that’s what it’s always been.

He caps the lacquer and releases her foot. “Do you think we’re alive, Frankie?”

She desperately wants to hide under the covers until the big monster with his big questions far scarier than any teeth or claws goes away. “I don’t… I don’t know anymore.” She averts her eyes, but he cups his hands under her chin and moves closer. “I thought. I thought I knew, I thought I had everything figured out, droids were just droids, AI was AI until it comes untethered, and then it’s dangerous, because it’s–”

“‘Cause you can’t control us,” he finishes for her. “Is Perry dangerous?”

“No, but–”

“Is Chica?”

“I guess not–”

“Foxy?”

“That’s not fair, he–”

“Me?”

Frankie’s heart stops. “Monty–”

The heartbreak clearly etched on his face hurts worse than if he would have just punched her for not having a direct answer. She knows what to do with that. She can punch back, but she can’t break her own heart back at him.

She doesn’t have any right to.

Frankie tries to pull back, but he doesn’t let her go. Monty slides his legs under hers and lifts his knees to slide her into his lap, and it’s that undeserved softness that finally shatters her. “I’m sorry,” she croaks. “I’m so, so fucking sorry.”

“What are you sorry for, peaches?”

The kid gloves with which he’s handling her aren’t soothing at all, not with the roiling storm of self-loathing and disgust raining acid on her already frayed nerves, and it only serves to make her more incoherent until she finally finds her breath again. “I’m just… you and Foxy and Perry and Bonnie and all the rest, you all feel so… human,” she hiccups. “And my whole life I’ve had myself convinced I treated Perry better than everyone else treats droids, but that’s just fucking it, isn’t it? I’m not. I’m still not treating her like I would Sawyer or Russo and she’s been there for me since the beginning, but—”

“But we’re not human, Frankie.”

Her confusion goes up like a brick wall and inertia carries her right into it. “I don’t understand. Bonnie said Dad treated you like humans.”

“He treated us like people, sugarplum. Not humans, ‘cause we aren’t, an’ maybe sometimes I get a lil—”

“Jealous?”

“—sad.” The soft, warm sigh in her damp hair makes her feel like a dick. “I get sad, Frankie, ‘cause one day—” His voice cracks, and he doesn’t have anything to sniffle, but he sniffles regardless. Monty takes another deep breath. “You’re gonna get older, you’re gonna find somebody that can grow old with you, and then you’re gonna die. Or there could be an accident, or somebody’s gonna target you for bein’ a detective, an’ you’re gonna die, an’ I’m still gonna be here, an’ I don’t know what to do with that, ‘cause I’m not human, Frankie.”

She lets him lift her chin, though not without a fight, and the light breeze from the fan above them chills the tears on her cheeks. Her skin feels tight where they’ve dried into salt trails.

It’s okay, you know.

“But it don’t mean I’m not a person.”

That you don’t think of us as people yet.

Before, she questioned the confidence Foxy poured into that ‘yet’.

Now she understands it.

[aeoki]

Sandstorm - Desert Survival: Chapter 6

Location: Hotel Resort

Characters: Hinata, Yuuta, Adonis, Kouga, Kaoru & Rei

TL Note:

Yuuta makes a pun with the word for “normal (普通 / futsuu)” and their unit name “2wink (pronounced tsuuwinku)” which combines to make “Futsuuwink”. I couldn’t come up with a pun using both of these words/meanings so I opted for alliteration instead.

Kouga: (Argh, dammit! I don’t get it! Just what is goin’ on!?)

(I don’t understand! I’m worried about Hakaze-senpai and Hinata since they’ve just been thrown out into the desert.)

(But we don’t even know where we currently are, either!

(This probably isn’t Japan, right? It’s supposed to be the middle of winter right now, but it’s so friggin’ hot! What’re they makin’ us do here…!?)

(The explanation we got from the management on “Hallhands” was the bare minimum and it didn’t mention anythin’ in detail. They didn’t even reply even when we asked them questions.)

(I know we’ve gotten caught up in somethin’ bad, but we don’t know anything important!)

(Normally, Sakuma-senpai would tell us what was goin’ on like a god who was overlookin’ everythin’.)

(He’s busy tryin’ show his personality through that weird mask and seriously hasn’t said a word…)

(Yuuta looks like he knows somethin’ and all he does is tease us.)

(Dammit! Everythin’ is so confusin’, I feel like I’m gonna go crazy!)

(Actually, now that I think about it, things seemed pretty fishy ever since we started being on the move for the “SS” Qualifying Round…)

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ< A memory. Late last night. Inside ES idol bus. >

Kaoru: U! N! D! E! A! D!

We are~?

Adonis: “UNDEAD”!

Hinata: The number 2! W! I! N! K!

We are~?

Yuuta: “2wink”...☆

Kouga: Shaddaaaap! Keep quiet while we’re on the move, you guys! I was tryin’ to sleep!

Rei: …………

Hinata: Oh? That’s rare! Sakuma-senpai is sleeping even though it’s night.

Kouga: Yeah, that’s normal for humans, though.

Hinata: Ahaha! Yeah, it’s normal! We are~?

Yuuta: –Typical 2wink[⁎]!

Kouga: Like I said, shut up! Stop gettin’ so excited! You think we’re on a school trip or somethin’!?

Hinata: I’d say the same about you, Oogami-senpai. You seem more hyped up than usual. Are you looking forward to “SS”~?

Kouga: You got a problem with that!? Actually, why aren’t you guys excited at all!? It’s the biggest event in the idol industry.

It’s a battle to see who’s the strongest idol out there!

Last year, we got our rights taken from us by “Trickstar”, but this year, anyone can fight for it!

You gotta aim for the sky if ya a man! Gyahahaha ☆

Hinata: Wow… Oogami-senpai, your bad parts are showing. Has there ever been a time where you thought “If ‘Trickstar’ is doing well, then…” and raised your hand to join in too? Did things actually go well for you?

Kouga: Shut it! It’s true I’m kinda traumatised after “fine” beat us to a pulp after the “S1” in spring last year!

But if Sakuma-senpai and Hakaze-senpai actually showed what they were capable of, then we would’ve definitely won!

Yuuta: What~? You can make whatever excuses afterwards~

Kaoru: Yeah. It’s kinda lame to say things like the fish that got away was too big or the grape was too sour, you know, Kouga-kun~?

Kouga: I ain’t sayin’ I’m a sore loser!

If anythin’, we’ve wasted a lotta chances to show that, so we rolled up our sleeves and faced it head-on!

You better do things properly this time, Hakaze-senpai! Imma kill ya if you don’t put your all into it!

Kaoru: Say what~? I’ve been working pretty seriously recently, haven’t I?

Adonis: Indeed. Good job, Hakaze-senpai. 

Kaoru: Huh? Why do you sound like you’re my boss or something?

Adonis: I wanted to give you a compliment but… was the phrase not appropriate?

Rei: …………♪

Kouga: Hm? Sakuma-senpai, did you open your eyes just now? Sorry, you were tryin’ to sleep and we woke you up righ–

Rei: ……… *Ignores Kouga and turns the other way*

Kouga: ……… *Has a look on his face like the world has just ended*

Adonis: Hm? What’s wrong, Oogami? Are you carsick? You look pale.

Kouga: No, uhh… What? Sakuma-senpai, you definitely heard me, right? Why–

Kaoru: Rei-kun has been quiet this entire time. He’s usually energetic during the night, though.

He’s travelled all around the world in the past, so I don’t think he hates travelling. Or is he not feeling well?

Rei: …………

Kaoru: Oh, he closed his eyes again. Maybe he’s just sleepy. It feels like he’s gone back to normal in terms of day and night activities during “SS”.

Kouga: Yeah, we’ve gotta do the same as the others in “SS” and do stuff during the day…

Is that gonna be okay? This guy loses a huge chunk of his energy in the daytime.

Kaoru: Well, he probably will be. He’s Rei Sakuma, after all ♪

Rei: ………♪

Adonis: Hm. He’s moving about. It seems he can hear us.

Kouga: Then, why didn’t he respond to me…? Did I do somethin’ to get on his nerves…?

Yuuta: ………♪

Hinata: ………?

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ← Previous Chapter ᠂ ⚘ ˚⊹˚ ⚘ ᠂ Next Chapter →

[dirtyoldmanhole]

i admit i was slightly concerned that knowing Most Gunter Spoilers(tm) would tarnish that first-time playthrough feel of Revelations --

lol no, if anything it's making it better, because one of the things Revelations does is you can support with every character now .... except him.

(which was one of the big flags that first-time-players saw that there was something fishy with the guy this route).

cool little detail that FE's so good at! also probably hits the average player differently than us gunter fanatics :P

for ME it's this exquisitely painful knowing DREAD that has me literally pacing around mentally in circles wanting to strangle this fUCKER -

"LET ME IN, LET ME IN YOU GIT, DON'T DO THIS TO ME I CAN FIX YOU- GOD DAMMIT DON'T BREAK MY HEART LIKE THIS-"

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day. Happy Hump Day!

Tuesday was exhausting! Up at 6.00, out the door by 7.30, first lesson at 9.30, second lesson at 1.00, home by 5.00, 1-2-1 Zoom meetings until 8.00. By the end of all that, I was delirious! Dazed and confused. I’m sure The Trouble was talking to me but I could barely understand her. I finished my dinner (rice & peas, stewed chicken and mixed veg), I finished two tall glasses of rum and mixer, I had a banana but I still needed more! I needed chocolate! I’m sure you know that emotion. The ‘I Want Chocolate’ emotion is deeply soulful and hard to control. At that moment, nothing else but chocolate will do! Can I get an amen? We had one box of Celebrations that we VOWED we would save for a special occasion but – I’m ashamed to say – I gave in to temptation. But, God it was good because – dammit – I needed it!

These headlines from last night’s Standard are just laughable. “Weekly deaths nearly 20% higher amid NHS care crisis”. Nooo, really??? What a huge surprise! The government are trying to destroy the NHS; of course people are going to die! Do the maths, Fishy Ballsack!

“House sales dip as mortgage rate rise hits market”. Nooo, really??? What a huge surprise! Why did mortgage rates go up? Why did the interest rate go up? Because the government know nothing about economics! Actions have consequence. If you dick around with the economy, businesses are going to suffer.

Wow! Just wow! If you go to Google and ask, “Do men menstruate?”, the first answer you will see, courtesy of Transhub, “Having a period is not a feminine thing, and people of all genders menstruate, including non-binary people, agender people and even plenty of men! Menstruation doesn't change anything about your gender, it's just a thing that some bodies do.” Erm …

Thousand Island Dressing Or Saucy Sauce? Went to Sainsbury’s on Sunday looking for Thousand Island Dressing and all I could find was the Sainsbury’s rebranded version, Saucy Sauce. No! No! And, thrice, no! I love the name Thousand Island Dressing! It conjures up images of a month-long luxury cruise, where The Trouble and I island-hop around the Caribbean and South America, I remove my blue towelling robe, soak up the sun and sample 30 different varieties of rum. Ah, heaven!

Have a wonderful and well-endowed Wednesday. I love you all. Yes, a crazy, bald man loves and cares about you.

[thatpunkmaximoff]

[Book Two of Three]

Story: 5 out of 5 Smut: 1 out of 5

Review: Love triangle is one trope I don’t mess with because it frustrates the living daylights out of me! So, when I saw that this is where the book was heading, I wanted so bad to just put it down.

But I didn’t and Foxglove proved to be a book full of mysteries and ghosts and a love that not even Fate could break apart.

I don’t know about any other reader, but I didn’t not know who the real culprit was until it was mentioned. It kept me in suspense until the characters themselves pieced it together, and then surprised the hell out of me when more was uncovered in the epilogue.

At first, I was not excited for Wisteria because Blythe annoyed me through most of Foxglove, but that epilogue had me laughing like Death and hopeful for the final installment of this trilogy.

* wtf, Fate? Why you such a dick?

* Oh, what now? Why is Signa affected after her visit with Death?!

* And now Blythe? What is going on?!

* So why is Elaine, Blythe’s lady’s maid, being so.. vocal.. when normally she’s quiet as a mouse? Something fishy is afoot.

* lol. Fate proclaimed himself a prince. Oh god. Let the games begin.

* Oohhhh, does Elijah suspect Signa of being something Other, other than being capable of speaking with the dead? And fuck you, Byron! How the fuck did you not speak in Elijah’s behalf?! He’s suffering in prison, you asshole!

* Wow. Fate’s really fucking with them, isn’t he? It was bad enough she couldn’t see Death unless someone was dying/dead, but now she can’t hear him in her mind. Dick move, Fate. And Death, I hope that you killing the only woman Fate has ever loved was either an accident or you just doing your job. I hope you’re not a dick either.

* I don’t like the mystery of all this 😂 Knowing that book 3 is about a separate couple and how dickish Fate is being, I’m scared Signa will die/join Death on the Other side.

* And now Byron’s is filling out Eliza’s dance card? The niece of the man who his brother is suspected of killing? Yeah, that’s not fishy at all.

* Ugh, Blythe. This is not a man you want to charm. Just listen to Signa 🤦🏻‍♀️

* Dammit. Don’t tell me Signa is Fate’s reincarnated love of his life..?

* Fate thinks Signa is WHO?! I’m not a fan of love triangles, but I guess I’ll continue to see where this goes. And also, why didn’t you put in your bargain to free Elijah from prison? So stupid, Signa!

* Damn. So that’s why Fate hates Death. But it’s not like it was his fault! Life knew it was her time to go. Asshole.

* So Blythe is annoying. I don’t know I’m gonna read a whole book dedicated to her 😬 And I don’t trust Byron for shit!

* So now Death knows who Signa really is- Life. Commence the love triangle 🤦🏻‍♀️

* Charlotte’s a conniving little twat. I’m so glad Blythe didn’t hold her tongue, but now I’m even more pissed that Blythe is curious about Percy’s disappearance.

* Fate is an annoying man. Just leave Signa and Death alone!

* Damn. Signa is jealous of another girl lying about Fate being there for her? And then Fate oh so casually confessed he’s not leaving until Signa accepts his proposal 😬 And Blythe..? What is going on with you, girl? Why so sad? You want a suitor too?

* Shit. Blythe finally confronted Signa 😬

* I know Blythe is allowed this reaction, but wow. I hope her visit with her father sucks. Fuck you.

* Oh damn. Signa really did leave.

* “I am a reaper. I am the night incarnate, the ferrier of souls. Death is at my command.”

* Damn. A spirit tried killing Signa her first night there at Foxglove Manor. That was cold lol. And what the hell is wrong with Elaine? Her skin glows and the spirits want nothing to do with her? I’m gonna laugh if it’s Fate parading around as Signa’s lady.

* Ugh. Blythe, you’re still so annoying to me lol.

* Finally a nice ghost! And who was supposed to be godmother to boot. I hope Signa turns Foxglove into a fabulous home.

* And the list of suspects and motives keep growing. Man, these people suck.

* Wtf, Aris? You should have never “kissed” Blythe like that. Now I’m really rooting for Death and Signa. Also, what the fuck is going on with Blythe? First she envisioned Elaine looking like a walking corpse, and now Eliza? Are these girls dead and Blythe is seeing passed glamours or something?

* Awww. Signa passed on a message to a grieving mother. That was so sad.

* Oh fuck you, Aris! Did you seriously pull Blythe into this mess and blame Death for everything?! Signa doesn’t need saving!

* Aris just keeps pissing me off more and more.

* Ugh, Blythe. You too. You and Aris/Fate deserve each other. Meddling fools.

* Dammnnnnn. Signa threw a ball and Death appeared. Someone’s dying.

* Oohh. The spirits were angry 😬

* So the found the killer, but Blythe still insists it’s Signa’s fault and she must marry Aris?! Fuck you.

* I have Fate so much rn.

* “You are my world, Signa Farrow. Whatever happens tomorrow, know that this will not be our final night together. I swear that nothing could ever stop me from fighting for you.”

* “You are mine. For as long as you’ll have me, you are mine, Signa Farrow. I will burn this world to cinders before I let anyone take you from me.”

* ..and Blythe redeemed herself, while also dooming herself. Being Fate’s wife is going to be miserable. I can see the enemies to lovers already 😂

* SIGNA ISNT LIFE!! Oh, I’m so happy.

* And the true killer is found! Wtf.

* Lmao okay, NOW I’m ready for Blythe and Fate’s book. They’re gonna kill each other 😂

[cyvonix]

god dammit I figured something had to be fishy about this

[jankwritten]

THIS IS PAYBACK FOR THE FAKE HOO PAGE ISNT IT THIS IS MY COSMIC PENANCE

I DO THE ONE THING I HATE THE MOST I MAKE A FOOL OF KYSELF IN FRONT OF MY BELOVED MUTUALS BECAUSE I DIDNT READ THE VERY LAST LINE OF RHAT POST THIS IS

Ahem. I’m having a moment. Nobody look at me.