#mute dazai osamu

[knockyasocksoff2022]

Deaf or Mute Dazai Headcannons

Deaf Dazai:

Absolute little shit (as per usual)

If he doesn't want to 'listen' to what someone is saying he just closes his eyes so he can't see them signing. Or turns his back if he wants to be extra obnoxious.

Tricks Kunikida into sighing naughty things by telling him they mean something else.

Or he tells Kunikida he just mistakenly signed something dirty and Kunikida gets all embarrassed until Dazai does his "I'm just messing with you" thing and Kunikida loses his shit.

Signs random words while smirking as a joke so people think he's saying something dirty but he's really just spouting gibberish.

Blasts music through his headphones so loud others can hear it and Kunikida always gets so mad because "You can't even hear god dammit!"

Sings his sucide songs which sounds even more obnoxious because he can’t hear himself and is way off key. He also uses sign to sing the “verses” and has made up dance moves to go that incorporate the signs. It’s a whole production at this point and poor Kunikida just wants a break.

This has caused the ADA to wonder multiple times if Dazai is actually deaf or just really dedicated to his act.

Chuuya makes a big show of not wanting to learn sign language . . .

but he spends countless hours making sure he's fluent enough that he can understand Dazai and have his back in a fight. they can sign so fast at this point that it may as well be their own secret language.

Dazai has a habit of pointing to Chuuya or spelling out Chuuya's name when he wants to say something/someone is short.

Uses Chuuya as a comparison. "It was two Chuuya's long" or "Half a Chuuya"

He and Chuuya have made up some of their own signs, kind of like tactical hand signs used in the military.

Most of the signs they made are just insults though.

Both of them know the sign for stupid/idiot in almost every sign language and use them frequently. Dazai also knows short.

Can use body language to 'talk' to each other without anybody else noticing.

Still have codewords, just in sign language instead.

Dazai can lip read accurately but loves giving false readings just to be funny.

Chuuya: *says something*

Dazai: *signing/writing back with a confused look on his face* Pink elephants do what?

Chuuya: I know you understood me you fishy bastard!

Dazai: *sighing/writing* You want me to stitch faster?

*They end up fighting*

Chuuya can read lips as well, another way they can subtlety communicate.

Mute Dazai:

Most of the Port Mafia & all of the ADA know sign language.

Has an LCD (Liquid Crystal Display) Writing Tablet that he uses to 'talk' in meetings because it's easier to erase than a whiteboard.

Knows cursive, his handwriting is beautiful and has a calligraphy-like style to it because he has to write so much.

Chuuya used to find it annoying and hard to read but now it's like a code between them because it's so complicated that people who don't have experience with them can't read it.

Tried and failed to teach Chuuya calligraphy. (Chuuya is one of those people who writes using all capital letters and has neat blocky handwriting)

Actually knows how to mime

When he first partnered with Chuuya he used to annoy him by only miming and refusing to write/use sign language.

Now Soukoku is banned from charades at PM game night because they always win.

Will confuses enemies/random people by starting to mime out of nowhere.

He loves doing silent screams.

He and Chuuya sometimes prank people by doing a sort of ventriloquist act (Not really but that’s the only thing I can compare it to). (Sorry if I spelt that wrong). Chuuya will hide and Dazai will go up and start “speaking” to someone. Dazai will mouth the words as if he’s talking while Chuuya is actually talking and it freaks the crap out of everyone who knows them because they can’t see Chuuya and they’re looking for him (he’s just chillin’ floating high above or something like that. Maybe even directly over the head of the person they’re pranking, but too high for them to notice.) Meanwhile Dazai/Chuuya is just talking about a totally normal subject. They’ve gotten so good at this that they can often fool enemies who haven't met Chuuya into thinking Dazai can talk.

[sableeira]

simply another excuse to draw chuuya with blood on his face

[ratsbanes]

reminder that in the light novels dazai is described as having black hair and not the butt ugly brown he has in the anime

[osamucide]

gladly

gladly i’ll burn up for you if you burn up for me

NSFW—MINORS DNI

wc: 1.2k

cw: dazai x gn!reader, explicit sexual content, no plot just horny and fluffy, established relationship, somno(?)(sleepy, anyway), handjob, grinding, nipple play, use of “baby,” “darling,” pillow princess dazai my most beloved

reid: this position bruh i’m going to go so feral that i eat my own hand. not the smut i intended to publish next but apparently the smut i needed to publish next. a little something short while i put off a longer dazai smut. i <3 soft lazy dazai enjoy

. . . .ᐟ

You know mornings like this should be rarer than they are.

His charming insistence, however muted by his sleep-addled laziness, hardly ever fails on you. In fact, it all might make him more tempting—that, the warmth of newly recharged bodies, the honey behind his drooping eyelids, the wandering of his hands and rolling of his hips against yours that feels so sweetly and foreignly unmapped and confused, yes, it’s equal parts all those things and you’re sure some others that you can’t conjure up into words through your early-hour fog. Yes, very few things Osamu ever does without meticulous planning, but he does let a certain vulnerability crack through on mornings like this, a vulnerability that’s evident in between his parting lips and the soft, unpracticed whines that live and die there. And yes, you’re one of the primary reasons—if not the primary reason—Osamu’s so often late to show up to work, but it’s difficult for you to feel guilty when your senses find their way back to the waking realm amongst his pretty sounds rumbling from his chest into your ear, his back arching back against your touch, and his soft brown hair splayed around his head like a halo.

The rational side of you should be dragging your dear boyfriend up and out of bed but it appears to still be asleep as you let your fingertips creep beneath his waistband. You shut the morning light out in favor of pressing your eyes beneath his collarbone; your thumb finds his tip, and if you weren't on the threshold of consciousness you would let out a giggle at the way his breath catches. You can feel Osamu's fingers curling tenderly around your wrist—a silent plea for you to keep going, touch him more, and you'll oblige, but you have to kiss the triangle of his shoulder first, so you do; your tongue deftly finds his nipple, and he's so pliant half-beneath you that you can slot his thigh between both of your own—it’s all you'll need, you can tell, as his head dips to the side on the pillow to catch a half-lidded glimpse of you working him into a mess so early and so easily. He'll return the favor without even trying, just by laying there and letting you move the way you do; he's so gorgeous all bleary from slumber, palming your lower back to guide you against him. You move. You move, looking up at him like he’s an angel, and his vision melts to warm darkness again. It's all he'll need, too.

You’d think he was falling back asleep if it wasn’t for the slow and steady bucking of his hips up into your hand. Winding your fingers around his base elicits a whine from his diaphragm—one you can hear against him as your own eyes roll shut and your tongue continues to idle. It’s all so natural, the way you stroke him, lick him, grind on him, that you feel yourself slipping back into unconsciousness. It’s his noises that you hang on for.

He’s far from alert, but words tumble out in whispers.

“Baby, it feels so good, don’t stop…”

You hum, more in response to his mumblings and less from the friction you create against his thigh; nonetheless, you’re sensitive, and as you keep rhythm along his cock he flexes against you and the way that you feel, splitting the line of slumber and wakefulness and writhing hotly against your lover, is divine.

You wish you could live in this kind of moment for the rest of your life. Too often you find yourself overwhelmed; regrettably and even more often you find Osamu overwhelmed. It’s never so obvious to anyone as it is to you, so he doesn’t tend to let on to anyone but you, and maybe that’s why you keep things like this sacred, because for once he doesn’t seem to be thinking, analyzing, inquiring, even how he does when you regularly have sex—forever the pleaser, he’s always looking to you with eyes asking questions like is it enough? Even outside of sex, god, in every aspect—you know he never stops wondering the same thing about himself: is it enough? Does it feel good? Am I enough? And the answer you give him is always a resounding yes, and you want so badly for him to believe you because he’s just as much your angel as you are his. You hope that mornings like this communicate it louder than your reassurances can. Your pleasure—in everything, in life—is so vividly amplified by his wellness, his peace, his own pleasure. You love him so deeply. He loves you like a stray cat finally living in comfort. You’ll never let a morning like this slip.

“Right there, right there,” he encourages as you squeeze just below his tip; his head lolls from side to side almost as if he’s dreaming (sometimes he thinks he is with you) and you track his movements through your own bliss, dragging your hips back and forth desperately as you double down on the spot that forces full-bodied moans from his pretty mouth. He’s close, he begs you; you’re frantic on his thigh, feeling yourself cum in a haze that has him tensing—you grind harder, harder, harder, sighing out his name until you’re spent so you can prop yourself up on your elbow to watch his face in the thickly-curtained sunlight.

“Oh, fuck, fuck— fuhhh— ah, uh-huh, ah—”

His eyes flicker open to catch your tired smile and he’s cumming—his grip on your ass is the only thing grounding him as his jaw falls slack, your lashes flutter in pure satisfaction, and he twitches, sent to the clouds by his beloved who looks at him with such adoration that he catches himself believing for a second that he must be beautiful; you work incredible magic on him. His brain and his body, both so used to neglect and abuse, finally feel like fruitful grounds for love. He finally feels whole as his cum drips down your fingers.

It is then that you do giggle and lean down to place a quick kiss to his nipple; he’s breathless, pink in the face, and you know you couldn’t love him more, and yet you will as each second passes.

Osamu brings his hand up to your hair, and your next kiss lands on his lips as he wills you down. It’s tender and lasts much longer than expected—you almost start your hips against him again, but the snoozed alarm at your bedside rings for the fourth time. You glance over. He was supposed to be out the door five minutes ago.

“Oh, shut it off,” he groans resentfully.

“As if.” You press one more kiss to his cheek before you unpeel yourself from him and punch the ringer into silence. “I’ll put coffee on.”

“Shower with me before I go, please.” He rubs his eyes and sits up. You strip out of your sticky shorts.

“Of course, darling.”

You pad to the kitchen. He watches you go with a warmth he didn’t know himself to be capable of.

And a smirk.

Maybe he can talk you into one more round in the bathroom.

[osaemu]

OSAMU DAZAI: ❛❛ FALSE GOD ❜❜

.ೃ࿐ dazai's far from the perfect boyfriend, and you're not the perfect girlfriend either. NSFW

contents: fem!reader. gets kinda angsty but nothin' major. toxic undertones. not a songfic but there's one line from false god included. mostly cunniligus. kinda self-indulgent.

author's note: obscure ending, interpret it however u want.

osamu dazai is a cynic, and he has no shame in admitting that.

every word you say and every man you smile at, dazai knows. behind those coffee-brown eyes lie a calculated gaze, and it's fixated on you. it's as if you're nothing more than another pawn in his games — just another player for dazai to manipulate at his will.

dazai figures that it's just human nature. everyone has their own motives, and everyone has their own secrets. being raised by the mafia, he's practically been trained to analyze every move made by another. after all, since he can't read minds, he has to assume that even you can't possibly be this good to him.

one day, when you bring him lunch at the agency, he asks what you'd like in return. you pause, a bit confused, before shaking your head and replying that it wasn't meant to come off that way. dazai insists that he do you a favor or something in return in order to avoid being indebted to you.

it stings, really, the idea that dazai thinks that your relationship is nothing more than a contract. and after weeks go on with dazai's suspicious eyes boring into your back every time you do a favor for him, you finally tell him so. you tell him what you thought you'd never have to tell him — that you don't have any ulterior motives in dating him.

dazai disagrees.

"i can't talk to you when you're like this," you murmur, shaking your head. and you really can't. honestly it's frustrating and draining — you don't want to have to prove to dazai night after night that you aren't with him for anything else than him.

your boyfriend's eyes narrow slightly, and clearly, he's trying to find your angle. is this a ploy to gain sympathy from him? or are you trying to guilt-trip him into doing something for you later? whatever it is, dazai decides that the best course of action would be to leave. for now, at least. he'll come back when you're asleep.

"okay."

dazai turns and leaves, going off to who-knows-where to do who-knows-what. you're left standing in the doorway, dumbfounded and not sure where to go from here.

two wineglasses and three hours later, he returns and finds you passed out on the couch. under any other circumstances, dazai'd be worried, but there's a trashy romcom playing in the background and a half-empty wine bottom on the table, so he figures that you're fine.

he walks over, careful not to wake you. dazai holds a bouquet of pink roses in one hand, and he uses the other to gently caress your cheek.

"god, you're so dramatic," dazai whispers, eyes trailing over your drowsy figure. his words are laced with muted affection, as if he can't find a way to express it without a petty insult on top of it. and well, maybe you are somewhat dramatic, but the way he sees it, he'd rather make up now than drag this on later. he sets down the bouquet and kneels down to your level, and the faint scent of whiskey lingers in the air.

"i wish i could be your perfect boyfriend," dazai says quietly, trailing his fingers through your hair. "but i just can't be, and if you want me to leave, i will."

dazai knows you're awake and listening to every word, and he also knows that you don't underestimate him. he's confident that you're aware that he knows you're not actually asleep, but for the sake of the moment, he gives you that choice. you can either keep pretending to sleep and brush him off, or you can open your eyes.

you open your eyes.

maybe you're just a hopeless romantic, but you could swear that a soft, relieved sigh escapes dazai's lips. lips that are now on yours as dazai attempts to make up for all the times he's pushed you away. and it's likely that even now, dazai won't change. he never does, no matter how many promises he makes. but it's nice that for once, he's trying to make up for what he's lost. even if it isn't much.

but you do get pretty close to forgiving him when his mouth isn't the only part of him on you. dazai's slender fingers make quick work of his coat as he tosses it to the side, eyes focused on you, only you. he doesn't have time to wonder if this is what you wanted all along of if it's just the sex scene in the romcom that's making him do this, but one thing leads to another and soon he's eating you out, tongue turning the edges of your vision white.

if you had doubts about the existence of heaven before, they were gone now. you swear you can see stars as dazai eats you out, and the lewd sounds that fall from your lips are downright sinful. you beg for more, more, more, and dazai obeys, giving you everything that you ask for.

it's funny how weeks of underlying tension can be eliminated in the span of an hour, but if there's anyone who could do it, it'd be dazai. as his tongue flicks in and out of your drenched cunt, your ability to form cohesive words vanishes, and all you're left with is his name.

"god, 'samu, please don't stop," you gasp, hands tangled in his hair as he looks up at you from his spot in between your thighs. his mouth has always worked wonders on you, whether it's through his poetic words or if it's through his skillful tongue, and now is no different.

your chest heaves as the coil in your stomach tightens as you feel yourself getting closer to your breaking point. you're entirely convinced that the world's stopped around you, and that there's nothing but you, dazai, and his lips in the universe.

if death was like what you were feeling right now, then by all means, you were entirely willing to give up your life for pleasure like this. the feeling of transcendence from your spot beneath dazai to a world above was unlike any other, and only dazai could take your hand and lead you there.

"eyes on me, darling," dazai murmurs, voice barely audible over the smutty noises coming out of your mouth. somehow, his voice is steady, and if you weren't so fucked out, you'd overthink this by leaps and bounds.

you chant his name like a prayer as you fight to keep your eyes open. you want nothing more than to tilt your head back and close your eyes, but somehow, you're certain dazai would end this torturous, hedonistic moment if you were to disregard his words.

blind faith was stupid, so stupid, but times like these would make you follow dazai anywhere. his words, his lips, his eyes, all of it. who were you, a mere mortal, to resist his decadent charms?

"more," you whisper.

he gives you more. dazai fucks you until your vision is hazy and you can't feel anything but him, and when you finally start to come down from your hour-long high, you're met with the sound of his sultry laugh.

"you wanted this, didn't you?" dazai breathes, eyeing you intently.

you nod, unable to do much more than that. dazai hums in reply, lean body collapsing on top of you. his mind is spinning, processing thousands of little details and thoughts all at once. his head hurts, his body's sore, and he's tired and ready to sleep, but one look at your fucked-out smile and he's hungry for more.

dazai presses his lips to your bare shoulder, and maybe you're imagining it, but you sense an undertone of self-satisfaction in what he whispers next.

"that's what i thought."

[yokohamapound]

BSD Characters React to Getting Shat On By A Bird 🕊️

No, I'm totally not writing these to make myself feel better after getting bird-splattered on my way home from work. T-T

Characters: Osamu Dazai, Nakahara Chuuya, Kunikida Doppo, Akutagawa Ryuunosuke, Nakajima Atsushi, Sigma

Contents: 💩

Osamu Dazai

Dazai might react in one of two ways.

If he's on his own, it's a muted, annoyed kind of disgust. He just feels the impact and sighs.

"Ugh, really?"

He might shove his head into the Yokohama river to try and wash it out. Whether or not he remembers to pull his head up again is another story.

If he's around other people, however, Dazai hams it up more than a pig in a blanket.

His whole body clenches, his shoulders hunching toward his ears and his hands hovering near his hair but not quite touching it. His face is an exaggerated rictus of disgust.

"Get it off, get it off, get it off! Eww!"

He runs at Kunikida and tries to wipe it off on him, only to get himself punted across the room. That isn't enough to stop Dazai, though. He'll theatrically pour water over himself, retching, gagging, and bemoaning his bad luck and the cruel fates for doing this to him.

Nakahara Chuuya

Thankfully, Chuuya's lovely red hair is safe from the bird shit thanks to his hat, but on the other hand, his hat. He freezes as soon as he feels the splatter against his hat. Reaching up slowly, he takes the brim of his hat between thumb and forefinger and lifts it off his head.

Chuuya's face contorts with anger and disgust. There's shit on his hat. There's shit on his hat.

He resists the urge to drop the hat in disgust, since that might damage it further. Instead his ire snaps upward toward the bird that just ass-bombed him. Little does it know that its victim is not bound by the laws of gravity. Chuuya can follow it.

And that he fucking does.

He shoots into the air, cracking the asphalt underfoot, and goes gunning after the hapless bird, which is probably terrified to find a pissed-off ginger zooming after it at mach speeds.

Later, once the bird is 'taken care of' Mafia-style, Chuuya will take his soiled hat to a specialist cleaning place. Yes, he's got a hat cleaning place—this is Chuuya we're talking about.

Kunikida Doppo

Kunikida does not have time for this. Perhaps it is a personal failing, but he didn't account for the potential of being shat on by a bird en route to the office in the morning. Now he's standing there with egg on his face and crap on his hair, regretting his life choices.

Frustration builds in him like a volcano, but he forces himself to take a deep breath. As long as he is calm and rational about this, it should not impact his precious schedule too much.

Thankfully, he does have all manner of supplies to hand. Namely a water bottle and a handkerchief to try and clean himself off as best he can in the nearest reflective surface. He uses his handy dandy notebook to conjure up a solid shampoo bar and cleans himself up.

All in all, he only ends up being three minutes, thirty-seven seconds late to the office. No one even notices, but Kunikida is left irked for the rest of the day. Also, he doesn't know how but he's sure Dazai is behind it somehow. Maybe he's been teaching the birds how to target blonde men with glasses, preparing months in advance for just this day.

Akutagawa Ryuunosuke

Akutagawa goes still, and his eyes go very, very wide, until you feel like you're staring down tunnels into the Abyss. The bird guano is stark white against his dark hair. His nostrils flare.

"RASHOUMON."

A tendril of darkness slices from the back of his coat and slashes the bird in midair, sending feathers spiralling down to dust the earth around him.

He stares down at the offending creature's carcass like an god of dark justice.

"Foul beast."

Growing up in the slums, Akutagawa was used to being dirty, covered in mud, blood, and all kinds of filth, but he will not take the disrespect of any man nor beast, least of all a pigeon.

Nakajima Atsushi

This is not the first time for poor, unfortunate Atsushi, and probably not the last. He flinches when the splatter lands on top of his head, automatically closing his eyes. He's used to being spat on or having food poured over his head.

"Ah, jeez."

At least the bird crap isn't personal.

Atsushi probably just snips off the locks of befouled hair and then scrubs his hands. His hair is already a tufty mess, and he's usually too busy running around for the Agency to run home and shower again. That is, until Kunikida hears what happens and sprays him with disinfectant.

Sigma

Poor Sigma. Doesn't he have enough on his plate without being target practice for a bird who doesn't eat enough fibre? He's under enough stress already.

The bird shit is the tipping point, and he might just cry.

His face twitches when he feels it. The cold dollop on his head, ruining his pretty hair, making his neck want to retract back into his spine. His eyes widen as he looks upward to see the feckless offender flying away, soon lost to the horizon as it flies beyond the reach of the Sky Casino.

Sigma gags, his hands fluttering a little as he doesn't know what to do. He's only three years old and this has never happened to him before.

He runs toward his private quarters, lest anyone see the General Manager looking so undignified. He flings himself into his bathroom and sticks his head directly under the shower, running the water as hot as he can stand.

He washes it twice. Thrice. Then wraps it in a hair mask and huddles in his quarters with a stiff drink and his hair in a towel. Poor thing.

[lit3rallyll0yd]

Haii! :D may i please request chuuya, dazai and any characters of your choice; with an s/o who is super quiet and socially awkward unless they’re alone?

Like, they barely say anything in public or when there’s other people around, but when they are alone with their partner they are very talkative and open,

๋࣭ ⭑ socially awkward. bsd x reader

gender: gender neutral

type: headcanons

warnings: lowercase writing

characters: dazai and chuuya

๋࣭ ⭑ dazai osamu 🩹

doesn't try to get you to open up to others

however, that doesn't mean he won't tease you about being like this.

he realized this as you two were talking alone, until the rest of the agency walked by and you suddenly went quiet. others kinds butted in on your guys conversation.

he didn't mention it to you, but he had it on his mind for a while.

real quick he realized you were socially awkward...and thats okay!

he actually loves how open you are with him and that your comfortable to talking to him.

when your in big crowds you tend to stay close to him.

teases you and calls you, "lost puppy trying to find its master"

you had a blush on your face everytime you were in the same room with him for the past four days...

if anyone else were to get to close to you face, or to try and force you to talk, he's stepping in and dragging you away from the drama.

you both have your own inside jokes because of how much you talk to him, leaving others in utter confusion.

"what if i talk to them with you? would that help?"

no matter what you said, he's willing to hep<3

ends with you kinda hiding into his jacket, or straight up leaving without him noticeing...

lets be real, he notices but doesn't have enough energy to run after you, so he strikes up a conversation with said person.

in the end, he finds you in the room...writing, reading, watching tv, whatever you may be doing- dazai kisses your forhead and praises you from trying you best...although, he kinda was just trying to make you feel better

๋࣭ ⭑ chuuya nakahara 🍷

noticed how quiet you get when others are around you almost instantly, which made him question how you got into the port mafia in the first place

you must'v sparked someone's eye...because damn your shy!

to his surprise, you confess your love to him first, which wasn't a surprise you were barely trying to hide it.

hiding your face around him, running away, or straight up ghosting him.

when you started to tak to him more..more laugh, to joke, to yell with him more..it made him feel like you two had something special.

however, i feel like he would 100% try to help you speak more around other people.

no matter how much you try to run away from others, he is stubborn and won't stop...

if you get too overwhelmed and panicked when he keeps doing this, he will stop.

last thing he wants is to make you mute around him, or worse...leave him.

which, can we be honest, will you ever?

if you don't really feel upset when he does this, he will literally lock you in a room with two people, lets say these two people would be tachihara and gin.

you were just...silent.

you didn't even say hi, you were kinda shaken...they tried to strike up conversations with you, but you ended up running away.

"Y/N- ug- BABE! I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU- DON'T YOU DARE LOCK YOURSELF IN THE BATHROOM- uuuuuugg- you're lucky i love you-"

dude can easily just use his gravity to open the door, but he thinks its best for you to let yourself out when your ready.

throw's people into space if they think they can force you to talk by grabbing you, hitting you, or yelling at you.

they've had a death wish.

he's willing to be patient with you, as long as you don't give up so easily.

man, i guess he would lose patience with me reeeeal quick- LOL

[yurislotusgarden]

Can't break the rule!

ʚїɞ Dazai Osamu x Gn!Reader

ʚїɞ Keep in mind English is not my first language, so you may find mistakes!

ʚїɞ word count: 688

ʚїɞ Tw’s: Small mention of suicide because it's Dazai but otherwise just pure fluff, pet names used, reader’s gender is not specified in any way

ʚїɞ This was literally written from 5:30am to nearly 7am and only the ending was added in after I woke up, I want that kind of motivation all the time

Gorgeous.

That's one of the words running through Dazai's head while looking at the sleeping beauty that's currently laying down on his chest, peacefully asleep. He knew that you would surely disagree with his thoughts but he didn't particularly care.

He was also aware of how late he was at this point, and that Kunikida would call him any minute now. He would pick up since that would make it so easy to tease the younger man, but it would also cause the risk of waking you up, which he absolutely didn't want, so he shall settle for messages at most. Kunikida should appreciate that! Dazai would take a big part of the time he could spend looking at his darling’s pretty face to text him back!

And just as he thought, the phone’s screen lit up in the darker room, the curtains still down due to neither of you getting up from bed that day.

‘There it is.’ Dazai lazily reached over to where his phone was lying on the nightstand, before bringing it up to his face to look at the screen, his other hand on your head, fingers gently running through your hair. He let the call go on in silence, the phone being put on mute just after you fell asleep earlier.

‘Finally!’ He thought as the 3rd call in a row ended, and he didn't have to wait long for a text from his work partner to pop up on the top of his screen.

‘YOU GODDAMN WASTE OF BANDAGES!!!’

‘WHERE ARE YOU?! WHAT RIVER WAS IT THIS TIME’

‘I SWEAR I'M GONNA THROW YOU OUT THE WINDOW THE MOMENT YOU STEP A FOOT INTO THE AGENCY’

It was exactly what the brunette expected to see. Right now, the blonde was expecting to be told that Dazai had taken another dive into a river or tried another ridiculous suicide attempt. Little did Kunikida know that the brunette did the exact opposite and stayed home.

‘It looks like I won’t be in today, I can't break the rule after all!’

‘Sorry not sorry Kunikida-kun!’

He probably should have written a message to Kunikida that he won't be in like he did with the president, but where would be the fun in that? He’s lucky that he doesn't take too many official days off.

‘What rule are you talking about, you idiot?’

Dazai could have left the conversation where it was at the moment and leave Kunikida to be confused, but he decided he could have more amusement from continuing it.

‘Oh?’

‘Does dear Kunikida not know the important rule? How surprising!’

‘Just spit it out! I already spent more time on you than I should've or planned!’

His darling always told him that he should spare Kunikida from time to time, but he never really listened to that one thing, didn't he?

‘Of course! I can't leave you in the dark about it after all!’

‘Is it really that important?’

‘You will realize just how important it is once you know the rule!’

No, he never listened, and probably never will. Riling Kunikida up is just too entertaining to pass up on.

‘The rule is: If something small and cute falls asleep on you, you shall not move less you want to wake the small thing up’

‘And it just so happened that my darling angel is asleep on me right now, not like a single man like you would know how important that is <3’

‘So no no Kunikida-kun! I can’t get up and go to work, otherwise, I could break the important rule that obviously applies to me as well and I don’t really wanna break it!’

‘Now bye bye!’

‘Wait what?’

‘Dazai?’

‘YOU BASTARD COME BACK HERE’

Dazai knew that his dear colleague would chew him out the next day once he appeared at work since it wasn’t like he would find him at the agency’s dorms that day, like usual at that point. But for now, he had to go back to his previous job, and that was staring at his angel’s face like he was before the blonde’s interruption.

Notes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated

[todorokis-girl]

Hii I have request for a fanfic I wish you can do this. I think the character can be Dazai and y/n can be his gf or just coworker. Y/n will get drown when try save him one of his suicide. Y/n can be die or half death I don't know, it's your choice. If y/n dies, he will feel guilt. I don't know your way to finish this fic but I am sure it'll be awesome. Please see my request! Good time for write!

Hello, and thank you for the request. Sorry it took so long; only now have I been able to sit and actually go through the things I have left to do.

Masterlist

The Depths of Us

The ocean roared against the cliffs, waves crashing with an unrelenting ferocity, as if it sought to devour the very land itself. Dazai Osamu stood at the precipice, his silhouette sharp against the moonlit sky. His overcoat billowed in the wind, each gust tugging him closer to the edge.

He peered down at the tumultuous sea, his dark eyes unreadable. “If the water takes me, will it grant me the quiet I’ve always sought?” he mused aloud, his voice nearly drowned out by the howling wind.

“Dazai!”

Your voice rang out, frantic, cutting through the chaos of the night. He turned slightly, his usual mischievous smirk flickering across his face, though it didn’t reach his eyes.

“You came,” he said, his tone light, almost teasing.

You stood several feet away, panting from your sprint. “Of course, I came. What the hell are you doing?”

He tilted his head as though the answer were obvious. “Testing a theory.”

You clenched your fists, anger and fear churning in your chest. “You can’t keep doing this,” you said, your voice trembling despite your best efforts. “You can’t keep throwing yourself into the void and expect no one to care.”

His gaze softened, just for a moment. “But why do you care?” he asked quietly, almost to himself. “It’s not like I—”

“Because I do!” you snapped, stepping closer. “Because you matter, even if you don’t see it. And because… because losing you would destroy me.”

For a fleeting second, something vulnerable flashed in his eyes, but it was gone before you could name it. He turned back toward the sea, his hands slipping into his pockets. “It’s just water, you know. No different from the rain, the tears people shed, the blood we spill. In the end, it all returns to the same place.”

He took a step forward.

“No!” You lunged toward him, panic surging through you like lightning.

The gravel under his foot crumbled, and he slipped. Time seemed to slow as his balance wavered. Without thinking, you threw yourself forward, your fingers just managing to grasp his arm as the two of you tumbled over the edge.

The fall was chaos.

The wind roared in your ears, drowning out your scream, and then the icy embrace of the ocean consumed you. The cold was a shock, a knife slicing through every nerve as the water dragged you down. Your limbs flailed instinctively, fighting against the relentless pull.

Somewhere in the black depths, you felt Dazai’s hand brush against yours before it slipped away. You kicked harder, desperate to reach him—or the surface—you weren’t sure which.

Your lungs burned, your chest screamed for air, but the waves were merciless. They pushed and pulled, spinning you in a disorienting dance until you couldn’t tell up from down. The last thing you saw was the pale glimmer of moonlight above, fading as the darkness swallowed you whole.

When Dazai broke the surface, gasping for breath, the world seemed muted. The stars above blurred, the sound of the waves dulled by the pounding of his heart. He whipped his head around, searching frantically.

“(Y/N)!” he called, his voice raw. “Where are you?!”

And then he saw you.

Floating face-down a few feet away, your body eerily still.

Something shattered inside him.

“No, no, no…” He swam toward you, his movements wild, frantic. When he reached you, he turned you over, his trembling hands cradling your lifeless face.

“Come on,” he muttered, his voice breaking. “Not you. Please, not you.”

He dragged you to the shore, every muscle in his body screaming with exhaustion. The moment his knees hit the rocky beach, he laid you down, pressing his ear to your chest. Nothing.

“Damn it!” he shouted, his hands trembling as he began compressions. “You can’t do this to me! You hear me?! You’re supposed to save me, not—” His voice cracked, tears streaming down his face as he worked. “don't leave me!”

He leaned down, breathing into your mouth, forcing air into your lungs. His mind was a storm of thoughts—memories of your laughter, your stubbornness, the way you looked at him like he was someone worth saving.

And then—

You coughed. Violently. Water spilled from your mouth, and you gasped for air, your body convulsing.

Dazai froze, his breath hitching. Then a laugh escaped him—a broken, disbelieving sound that turned into a sob. He pressed his forehead to yours, his damp hair clinging to his skin.

“You’re alive,” he whispered, his voice trembling.

Your eyes fluttered open, hazy and unfocused. “Dazai…”

“I’m here,” he said quickly, brushing wet strands of hair from your face.

“You’re an idiot,” you rasped, a faint, wry smile tugging at your lips despite your shivering. “But you’re… worth saving.”

His smile faltered, and his expression crumpled. “What if I’m not?”

You reached up, weakly brushing your fingers against his cheek. “… let me decide that,” you whispered, before exhaustion pulled you under once more.

The hospital room was quiet, save for the steady beeping of the monitors. Dazai sat by your bedside, his elbows resting on his knees, his head bowed.

You stirred, the motion pulling him from his thoughts. His head snapped up, relief flooding his face.

“You’re awake,” he said softly.

You smiled faintly. “Looks like I am.”

For a long moment, he just looked at you, his gaze searching, as though trying to convince himself you were really there.

“I’m sorry,” he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper.

“For what?” you asked, your voice hoarse.

“For everything,” he admitted, his hands clenching into fists. “For putting you in danger. For making you think I’m worth this kind of pain.”

You reached out, your fingers brushing against his. “Dazai,” you said, your voice steadier now. “You don’t get to decide what you’re worth to me. You’re alive, and that’s enough.”

He didn’t reply, but for the first time in a long while, something in his expression softened.

And as you drifted back to sleep, he stayed by your side, the weight of the ocean still lingering—but now, perhaps, a little lighter.

[luverbov]

⊹ ( 𝔐id ) nights ࿓ Soukoku hcs

“ Waiting for me again huh, stupid mackerel. “

⪩⪨ requested by a friend ⿻ fluff ☓ headcanons

Nights with you 𓆩♡𓆪

We all know Chuuya works for PM and they're a literal mafia so they mainly operate at night, therefore Dazai doesn't get to spend much time cuddling with his boyfriend

Instead, Dazai spams Chuuya's phone with calls and voice mails, whining for the gingers appearance at home so they could watch a movie they've probably delayed for a few weeks

"Chuuuuyaa~! You have a poor detective waiting for you at home! Wait- no- Don't hang up Chibi-"

Dazai whines endlessly to the point Chuuya can barely keep focus cause his phone rings so much, Chuuya couldn't bring himself to mute his boyfriends texts so he just leaves his phone at home sometimes  ¯\_( ツ )_/¯

Sometimes Dazai waits for Chuuya on the couch, but ends up falling asleep cause of the gingers late return.

As the clock hit a close 2am, a gentle click could be heard from the detective and mafioso's shared apartment door. A petite figure emerged from the shadows, as he walked into the apartment, leaving tired footsteps along the floor. To his surprise, the living room lights were still operating, wasn't Dazai supposed to be asleep by now?

"Osamu?"

Chuuya muttered lowly, soon to realise his boyfriend was curled up on their couch like a cat, mumbling something in his sleep. Adorable. Chuuya gave him a light kiss on the forehead and picked him up bridal-style.

"Waiting for me again huh, stupid mackerel." He mutters with a sigh, in which Dazai returns with a small whine, nuzzling into Chuuya's neck softly, as Chuuya carried the brunette to their bedroom, flicking off the lights as he passed them. Dazai snuggles into the blankets and pillows as Chuuya swiftly changed into a T-shirt and shorts, soon after scooping Dazai into a spoon and gently kissing the back of his hair before falling into slumber.

⊹　 ︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶　 ୨୧　 ︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶　 ⊹

[sixie]

Went a tad overboard on this AU Sou(L)koku doodle

BTW my partner in crime is thinking about compiling our Mirror Soul Soukoku AU into a fic to post on Ao3. We're already at 9k words and the skk chibis (6 years old) have *just* met. Not sure if anyone would want to read it, but here's a (long) snippet at least~

[...]

The quick, light steps were not, however, the gait Ango was expecting. The partially open gap in the sliding door widened, muted grind of the wood in the track pulling his attention immediately to the tatami room as a familiar young face came into the hallway.

“You’re ba--!” The child stopped dead in the middle of his sentence when he noticed the other boy, staring directly at Chuuya standing just past Ango.

Exasperated, Ango sat Chuuya’s bag down against the wall, bringing himself down to the same level as the children by squatting, some of his training kicking in before he could catch it. “Osamu, it’s past bedtime. Why are you out of bed?”

[...]

Chuuya was suddenly greeted by the face of a boy with messy, wild brunette hair, wearing comfy-looking clothing with sharks printed on them. Their eyes met instantly, deep blue to amber brown, and Chuuya could feel a warmth in his heart, blossoming throughout his chest and causing his cheeks to turn pink. He couldn’t understand it, but the other child obviously sensed something too.

The words exchanged between Ango and Dazai were lost to the redhead, taking in this strange feeling that he’d never felt before. It was a bit scary, but it also felt comforting, like he finally was where he needed to be. Ignoring the conversation, Chuuya’s focus was on the reddened eyes. Did someone make the brunette cry?

[...]

“I’m not--” Ango seemed to pause, realizing he was arguing with a child about using his given name instead of his surname to address him. And that there was another child present, that if he caught it from a glance correctly, Osamu seemed to be staring at. Intensely. Knowing him, or rather knowing how unpredictable this boy was… that couldn’t be anything good. He moved to step into Osamu’s field of view to break eye contact, if even briefly. It didn’t work, as Osamu just leaned to the side to look around him.

“You’re short.” he said suddenly, making Ango sputter, hissing out his full name in reprimand. Which, seemingly, was exactly what he had wanted, going by the little twinkle in his eye. Bizarre child.

“That’s me~”

[...]

Striding forward without a word, not hearing Dazai call him short, Chuuya moved his hand out to cup the side of the slightly taller boy’s face, a pout on his own round face.

“Why’s yer eyes all red? Did someone hit you or hurt you or somethin’?” He looked around as if he’d immediately see who caused those puffy red eyes, but saw no one except for Ango the Owl-Man. And it couldn’t have been him because Chuuya was in the car with him.

Making a small huff, he looked back up at Dazai, putting his other hand on the other cheek, cupping the soft face in his hands, and looking determined. “If someone’s mean to ya I’ll beat ‘em up, kay? Yer mine and I don't like people hurting somethin’ that’s mine.”

[...]

Dazai's eyes widen a little more when the new kid approached, and it took everything in him not to tense up like this other boy, that looked more like a stray kitten in his opinion, was a threat. Hands that weren’t much smaller than his own landing on his cheek and it almost felt like he had touched his face to a heater in winter. And the warmth just spread. And then it was two hands and he was quite cozy all over, blinking owlishly at the weird, new, thing happening. In a blink, his surprise melted into a smile that crinkled his eyes and nose just a tiny bit.

The warmth soaking into him felt like home.

[...]

[luvvixu]

dazai x reader (she/her)

🏡🧵 home sweet home pt. 1

series

genre: fluff, domestic au

synopsis: what does it look like to have a normal daily life at dazai's household? just you coming home to your little family after a long and exhaustion work. this is the life you and dazai had been dreaming of.

warning: mentioned of breastfeeding, pranking, anxiety

word count: 1.5k

a/n: i got inspired to write a story when i saw a website that said this song is the most therapeutic breastfeeding song. and it came to happened that dazai was the last anime character i saw that day.

so i was like, hmm...what would it be like to have a family with my suicidal maniac crush? so yeah, here it is.

oh yeah, one last note, i kinda made him self-explanatory character on this one???

song - invisible string by taylor swift

a long day just ended for you as a sigh escaped from your lips. you are on your way home to your little family after doing some shift at the agency.

while waiting for the traffic jam to untangle, you open your phone and reveal the wallpaper that never fails to make you smile whenever you see it.

a picture of your new born baby and your husband, dazai osamu.

the statement never lies, your lips crescent a smile at the sight of your little family. you also decided to call your husband who's on his day off and being a male wife for today.

within a few rings, dazai picked up the phone. the sound of your baby's laughter first rang through the phone, making your smile widen.

"hello, my love~ are you on your way home?" your husband's honeyed voice said through the phone.

your shoulder loses its tense from the fatigue just by hearing the sound of him. "yeah. i'm sorry if i didn't arrive on time, there's a small emergency happened. but atsushi-kun and i have already settled it down before it gets worse."

"of course, my wife is good at solving problems." dazai complimented you. he always knows what is best for you.

"anyways, how's things going there?"

"ooh, wait. hey emi-chan! say hi to mama." you hear a baby noise as your husband shifts his phone onto someone.

"emi-chan~" you cooed, and your five month old baby let out a cute babble just by hearing your voice. it makes you laugh and almost die on your spot due to her overflowing cuteness.

"did you miss mama?" your back rested on the seat as your vehicle started to move. luckily, you had a phone holder in front so you won't have to hold it while driving at the same time.

"yes." dazai said in his baby voice, imitating your daughter.

you let out a giggle. "mama misses you too, emi-chan. when i get home, i will kiss your chubby cheeks and watch cartoons together!"

"yah! what about me?" your another baby—i mean dazai interrupted you. a picture of him pouting already depicted on your mind.

"hmm? are you saying something, emi?" you playfully said. the noises coming from osamu intensify. he was complaining, pouting, and whining at you like a big baby. your big baby.

"ahem! sweetheart, emi-chan just asked me if you miss your husband too?" sensing that you did not plan to respond to him as your husband, he changes his tone into a deeper one, like an incognito voice.

"who's there with you, emi?! did you let someone enter the house?" you continued to play dumb until you finally pulled up to your house where your two babies are in.

dazai was whining on the phone and he seemed to want to fight his daughter just because he didn't receive any attention from you.

ignoring him, you purposely muted the call and lowered the volume as you carefully tip-toed inside the house.

"mommy is such a tease, isn't she?" and there you saw your own family. emi was sitting on her father's lap while chewing her pacifier, and dazai was on the floor, still pouting as he talks to his child who's clearly unaware.

"i'm getting jealous of you now, emi-chan." he jokingly said, booping her nose and then proceeded to bite her chubby cheeks carefully. you forced yourself to swallow the laugh in your throat.

"y/n has been unresponsive for a while, did she end the call?" dazai checked his phone when he realized you had been really quiet. the call was still on, so he sought for you.

"darling? are you still there?"

no answer.

"y/n? hello? sweetie, can you hear me?"

still no answer.

suddenly, his pout turns into a deep frown. you could clearly see that he's becoming worried now to the point that he put emi back to the cradle.

he squatted down to meet his daughter's gaze. dazai holds her little hands to give it some pecks. "emi, my cute little baby…stay here and do not do anything, alright? nothing's wrong so no need to worry. papa will keep you and mama safe."

your heart melted at the scene. no matter how worried he is, dazai wouldn't let himself show his fear in front of his daughter who cannot even understand anything, yet.

you knew you didn't make the wrong choice of starting a family with him.

"papa is just going to call mama." he continued. when you saw him about to pick up his call, you immediately ended the call.

you watch his face become more concerned when the call ends without even saying a goodbye to him.

dazai started to bite his nails, a secret habit of his whenever he feels anxious. without any second wasted, he called your number. the sound of your ringtone made him almost dashed to your hidden spot.

"y/n! my god, you're here!" dazai pulled you into a tight hug as soon as he saw you.

you let out an awkward chuckle. "hi?"

"jesus! don't do it again, please. i thought something happened to you!" dazai buried his face into the crook of your neck. you suddenly feel guilty when you sense his shaky breath.

he is really worried.

a hand if yours traveled into his head to give his fluffy brown hair a soft brush to give him comfort. "i'm sorry, baby. i didn't mean to get you worried. i just want to surprise you."

"it's alright—"

"waaahhhhhh!"

both of your heads immediately turned to the direction where the sound came from, emi was crying. you and osamu's parental instincts kicked in as you literally ran towards her.

you carefully picked her up and cooed. "shh~ mama's here, mama's here. aw, why is my baby emi crying?" you land a kiss on her cheeks that was covered with tears.

dazai gently guided you to sit on the couch. he grabbed a tissue and wiped the tears that emi had shed. "don't cry, emi-chan. we're here now." he mumbled softly.

you checked her diaper, it's not full. you tried to make her laugh, but still emi continues to wail loudly.

a sigh escaped from your lips. you gently rocked her and turned your head to your husband who worriedly gazed at his crying daughter.

"when was the last time she drank milk?" dazai ponders for a moment. his eyes widened when he realized.

"that's right! emi just woke up when you called me. she naps for like two and half hours. no wonder she cries because she's hungry." he explains.

"go and make her baby formula." you instructed him because you are busy soothing your child.

dazai chucked hesitantly. "the thing is, it ran out. emi drank the last baby formula earlier. so, i guess we're going to do the traditional way of feeding her."

"♪ and isn't it just so pretty to think ♪" dazai sang a song you two discovered while randomly streaming on spotify.

"♪ all along there was some ♪" he said to you that this song reminded him of the time when the two of you first met.

"♪ invisible string ♪" singing the invisible string has become his hobby whenever he is watching you putting emi to sleep. the song serves as the lullaby that made her fall asleep.

"♪ tying you to me~? ♪" your husband dedicated this song to you. not only it became your couple's love song, wedding song, and now your daughter's lullaby.

overall, this is a sweet moment. but it doesn't…

you tried not to lash out of dazai when he was right there beside you, watching how you breastfeed your daughter. his hands were fixed on emi's tiny ones, caging it playfully and made her squirm. which causes her to latches on your sore breast a bit harder than the usual sucking.

"osamu, for god's sake…let her feed in peace! and why are you even watching me feed her?" you caresses her head gently, making sure that she would not freak out at your little yell.

your husband rolled his eyes. "why not? i've also experienced that before…being fed by you—so, no need to be so shy about me witnessing it." this man had an audacity to make a dirty foreshadow in front of your daughter.

a pillow flew on his straight into his face. "osamu! i swear, get out for a moment." you tried to calm yourself. but dazai doesn't care and continued to play with emi, resting his head on your shoulder.

meanwhile, your little princess was in no mood to play with her daddy. emi got irritated because she couldn't move her hands, dazai has them. so, she let out a squirm and then a whine.

acting hurriedly, you rock her while giving your biggest death glare on your husband.

"welp…" dazai took the cue as he sheepishly go out of the room, finally giving you and emi some private time together.

"daddy is such a crackhead, isn't he?" you talked to your daughter who just looked at you with her big beautiful eyes while sucking your breast. you couldn't help but to squeal at your daughter.

"and you're such a cutie, emi-emi!"

©luvvixu2023

[konjaku]

合歓木[Nemunoki] Albizia julibrissin

The name of its kanji is an ateji(substitute characters) and its reading means 眠りの木[Nemuri no ki](Tree of sleep).

「夏の花が好きなひとは、夏に死ぬつていふけれども、本當かしら。」 けふもお母さまは、私の畑仕事をじつと見ていらして、ふいとそんな事をおつしやつた。私は默つておナスに水をやつてゐた。ああ、さういへば、もう初夏だ。 「私は、ねむの花が好きなんだけれども、ここのお庭には、一本も無いのね。」 と、お母さまは、また、しづかにおつしやる。 「夾竹桃がたくさんあるぢやないの。」 私は、わざと、つつけんどんな口調で言つた。 「あれは、きらひなの。夏の花は、たいていすきだけど、あれは、おきやんすぎて。」 「私なら薔薇がいいな。だけど、あれは四季咲󠄁きだから、薔薇の好きなひとは、春に死んで、夏に死んで、秋に死んで、冬に死んで、四度も死に直さなければいけないの。」

[「Natsu no hana ga suki na hito wa, natsu ni shinu tte iu keredomo, hontō kashira.」 Kyō mo okaasama wa, watashi no hatakeshigoto wo jitto mite irashite, fui to sonna koto wo osshatta. Watashi wa damatte onasu ni mizu wo yatte ita. Ā, sō ieba, mō shoka da. 「Watashi wa, nemu no hana ga suki nanda keredomo, koko no oniwa niwa, ippon mo naino ne.」 to, okaasama wa, mata, shizuka ni ossharu. 「Kyōchikutō ga aru ja naino.」 Watashi wa, wazato, tsukkendon na kuchō de itta. 「Are wa, kirai nano. Natsu no hana wa, taitei suki dakedo, are wa, okyan sugite.」 「Watashi nara bara ga iina. Dakedo, are wa shikizaki dakara, bara no suki na hito wa, haru ni shinde, natsu ni shinde, aki ni shinde, fuyu ni shinde, yotabi mo shininaosanakereba ikenaino?」]

"They say that people who love summer flowers die in summer, is that true?" Today, as my mother was watching me work in the fields again, happened to say something like that. I was watering the eggplants mutely. Ah, come to think of it, it's already early summer. "I like flowers of Nemu(Silk tree), but there is none (of that tree) in this garden." My mother says quietly again. "There's a lot of Kyōchikutō(Oleander)." I said in a deliberately brusque tone. "I don't like them. I like most of the summer flowers, but that one is too pert for me." "I love roses. But those bloom in all seasons, so does a person who likes roses have to die in spring, die in summer, die in autumn, die in winter, and die again four times that way?" From 斜陽[Shayō](The Setting Sun) by 太宰 治[Dazai Osamu] Source : https://dl.ndl.go.jp/pid/1086017/1/37

Novelist 檀 一雄[Dan Kazuo], who was having drinks with several people at a bar, later wrote that Dazai was severely asked by Poet 中原 中也[Nakahara Chūya] what his favorite flower was, to which he replied "Peach blossom". https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chūya_Nakahara

Today, June 19, is the day of Dazai Osamu's birth and the anniversary of his suicidal corpse was found, 桜桃忌[Ōtōki]. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Osamu_Dazai https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6E7emJHLDkw

[jelafclie]

⤷ “ if i love you , is that a fact or a weapon? “ m. atwood

—————————————————————

⟳ what a lovely reaction

i’m so looking forward to

strangulating you

———————————————————————

⟳ our fate will

not end in a place

like this

——————————————————

[+18] warnings include nsfw language, cussing, england, and implied assault.

> [ LOGGED IN ] > [ make a post ] > [ recording ]

RECORDING ONE :

“fuck off. i told you not to call me that stupid dog name.” / “hehehe. mr. sparky, my life partner—“ / “I TOLD YOU TO STOP TELLING PEOPLE I’M YOUR FUCKING LIFE PARTNER.” / “we’re not dating what do you want, chibi-san” / “ANYTHING BUT THAT FUCKIN-“

. end of recording .

RECORDING TWO :

“let me fucking handle this.” / *moaning sounds from background* “ye- yes, yes, i’ll be a good boy.”/ BONK ! / “you tacky piece of shit, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? WE ARE NOT FUCKING…” / “I was just reading from your tumblr smut—“ / BONK! SMASH! CRACK! / “SOMEONE HELP ME, DADDY IS BEING MEAN—“ / “SHUT THE FUCK UP, THIS IS SERIOUS. I TOLD YOU THAT IN FUCKING CONFIDENCE NOT TO SAY ON OUR BLOG—“ / “DADDY WANTS ME TO BEHAVE BECAUSE I’VE BEEN NAUGHTY! I CAN BE GOOD. YOU WANT TO SEE?” / “BITC—“

. end of recording .

RECORDING THREE :

“hehehe my plan worked, guys. chuuya used up all his energy, cursing at me until he made sure i was comfortable in the bed hehehe. L for dom losers so now i can introduce the blog.” / *mumbling between snores* “i should really fuck you out until you become mute.” / “unfortunately for chibi-san, he can never make me mute. he should know this. i am dazai osamu and the man who is sleeping from exhaustion is chuuya nakahara. we thought it would be good to make a podcast where we talk about our philosophical viewpoints about random media because well…. we can !!!! my main man says we have to start it with an introduction, and a general idea of what the content warnings are despite i said it is completely kid friendly and chuuya said, i quote, “nothing you fucking do is kid friendly, you slimy piece of shit.”. So from the list chuuya made, it says we’re “+18”-? CHUUYA!”

. end of recording .

RECORDING FOUR :

“bitch made me fuck him so i would get tired and woke me up cuz he thought we’ll record his fucking moans. I AM NEVER FUCKING HIM AGAIN I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD.” / “watch me get you to shut me up.” / *sigh* “if you don’t shut the fuck up—“ / “you’ll punch me-? that always leads into make up sex.” / “if you don’t shut the fuck UP, I will call a london real estate company to buy a home so you will not see me for months on end.” / “… baby, i love you. i don’t mean any of it. just don’t go to england, the english are a white species set on destroying civilization-“ / “good. asshole. anyways, warnings include anything dazai says which consist of his shitty suicide talk & cynicism, & my cursing & possible vulgarity. please if you are under the age of 18, do not interact with this blog. please if you cannot handle what is mentioned in the warnings before every podcast, do not interact. this is a study in media that includes dissecting taboo concepts and to preserve your sanity if anything is triggering, do not interact. thank you for listening to je la folie & i hope you enjoy our shit.”

. end of recording .

Je La Foile is a podcast distributed by jelafclie on tumblr and not licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Sharealike 4.0 International License.

[calmlb]

beautiful art by my talented event partner @/skellytonpens on twt!

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Rating: Teen

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 3.1k

Relationships: Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya

Characters: Dazai Osamu, Nakahara Chuuya

Additional Tags: Sick Dazai Osamu, Sickfic, Hurt/ Comfort, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Sicktember, Sicktember 2023, Suffering Dazai Osamu, Caring Nakahara Chuuya, Laryngitis, Dazai Osamu Needs a Hug, Nakahara Chuuya Takes Care of Dazai Osamu

Summary:

“Oi.”

The sharp tone jolted Dazai, shifting his focus back to the glaring face in front of him. His lips parted, but no sound left them. He stood there on Chuuya’s doorstep at three in the morning, blinking dumbly. He didn’t know how he would respond even if he could speak.

Chuuya peered at him cautiously. “Oi, what’s the matter with you? You’re being weirder than usual.”

OR a mute Dazai shows up at Chuuya's in the middle of the night, sick & alone on Christmas Eve

Sicktember Day 14: “I shouldn’t be worried about you, but for some reason I am.”

read on ao3!

[circinuus]

Wow, I love the headcanon "fyodor with a little sister who's dating dazai". May I ask for the soulmate au, when Dazai assumes that his s/o and he are soulmates of each other and is proud of it. But one day he learns that his s/o's soulmate is someone else and not him? (His own s/o and that person doesn't know that fact)

a lover. not a soulmate, never a soulmate

dazai x gn! reader. 0.5k words

❥ hii thank you so much i'm happy you like them!! sorry this took so long ಥ◡ಥ i feel like it'll deliver better as a drabble, so i hope you won't mind and this is up to your expectations! 🫶

Dazai Osamu had once heard about this peculiar, wishful concept called 'soulmates.'

Obviously, it was something of a foolish and farfetched notion. A covetous concept. 'The one person whose soul is bound to yours,' was it? 'The one destined to be your other half as you walk hand-in-hand in this long road called life.'

Dazai, the lone man whose dull eyes saw nothing in the worth of life and death and everything else, whose soul was (is) still tattered and imperfect and lost, had laughed. Of what use should fate send him a 'soulmate,' if it even exists at all?

But then you came along, unprecedented as you are unexpected—like a shooting star he didn't even know what to wish upon.

'A soulmate?' Dazai had asked then.

'Your soulmate.' and you answered, with your sweet smile and hopeful eyes.

It must've been that; the way your presence make it seems like you trail hopes and dreams in your wake. And before he realizes, he is drawn to your sparkle, drown in your soft touches and warm embraces. Then he thought maybe, just maybe, it wasn't a foolish nor a farfetched concept, after all. Soulmate is real, and soulmate was you.

But what is he supposed to do with you?

When your eyes brighten up like the Sirius whenever they catch his gaze, and how your voice sings his name whenever you call him yours, and you his?

And what is he supposed to do with him?

When he has always convinced himself that you were too good to be true, but still finds himself fearing you'll slip away from his feeble hands?

(Like how all the precious things do. And you are precious. Too precious for the likes of him)

The clear glass window shows the muted ambiance of Yokohama's after-hours. The dark curtain of the night has long fallen, and the stars dance around the soft glow of the moon. What if you someday slip away from his arms and join them, among the beautiful heavenly bodies, away from sinful, mortal hands like his?

Dazai, the lone man whose dull eyes saw nothing in the worth of life and death and everything else, whose soul was (is) still tattered and imperfect and lost, now laughs again. Was there really a reason to be afraid in the first place?

As if your 'soulmate's' distress penetrates even past your dreams, your small hum intrudes the lone man's musings. Chuckling, Dazai caresses your cheek. tenderly and adoringly. And your eyelashes slightly flutter, your head nuzzling to his touch even under the spell of deep, sweet sleep.

Of course not, he thinks. You are not his. You never were.

You were the best thing that happened to his life, but you were never his to begin with.

"I'm sorry, Love."

With that, Dazai tucks away a strand of your hair, pressing a fond, lover's last kiss. Not a soulmate's, never a soulmate's. But a lone man's—a lone lover's sincere goodbye.

is he leaving? is he not? welp. just know that this happened on the night before jouno yoinked dazai to meursault bc i said so. ain't that romantic? he's giving you goodbye kissies <3 may you be reunited in another life real soon <3

♡ @ashthemadwriter