#First Ana during the blackout

[diaz911]

Does Eddie just date women to have a babysitter?

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buck & Eddie: Baking Muffins vs. Baking Cookies

Since it aired, I've posted several times that 6x13 "Mixed Feelings" was my favorite episode of season 6 and it was the finale for me. I'm not sure why 6x14 - 6x18 ended or played out the way they did but I still believe there was a reason for 6x13 to air when it did and why it was before all the BS that happened afterwards.

I've watched all six of Buck's and Eddie's, Buck's and Chris' and the Buckley Diaz Family's scenes numerous times and every time I do, I find something that was a callback to previous episodes. I've already done a post on the significance of Buck bringing cookies to Eddie's house in 3x11 compared to him baking them with Chris in 6x13 (linked here) but this post is different because it parallels the scene Buck had with Chris from 6x13 to another scene Chris had with one of Eddie's previous relationships.

The scene from 6x13 with Buck and Chris included some parallels and callbacks to the scene from 5x3 with Eddie, Chris and Ana.

Baking muffins vs. Baking cookies

First, in 5x3 after the blackout, Eddie went home to BREAKUP WITH ANA. He was there with her and Chris after she baked enough muffins to feed a classroom full of children. But in 6x13, Eddie WASN'T THERE and he left their son with his second dad while they baked cookies for Chris' class. Reminder, when Eddie met Ana, she was Chris' teacher but in season 3 SHE DIDN'T TELL EDDIE HOW TO HELP CHRIS SKATEBOARD BUT BUCK DID! They worked together to help Chris do something he obviously wanted to do even though Ana started telling Eddie about novels🙄. Also, in 6x13, Buck specifically said they needed to make enough cookies for Chris' whole class. Eddie just dipped like he did in 3x1 after he dropped Chris off with "his Buck" and was probably like, "It's cool because our son (his and Buck's) is with his other dad, so I don't need to be there."

The Kitchens

In 5x3, when Eddie and Ana went into the kitchen, it was a MESS! A big mess to say the least. She had stuff everywhere like she was a brand-new cook or some BS but everyone knows she wasn't since she baked two cakes in 4x13 for Carla's birthday, therefore the STATE OF THE KITCHEN SPOKE VOLUMES about her relationship with Eddie. However, in 6x13, Buck's kitchen was ORGANIZED AND CLEAN. Buck and Eddie's relationship functions like a well-oiled machine. It always has ever since they removed a live grenade from Charlie's leg in 2x1.

In 6x13, Buck specifically said, "So whenever I cook, I like to measure out all my ingredients". But in 5x3, it looked like Ana didn't measure anything. She just baked and left the mess for someone else to clean up.

Buck was working with Chris the same way he did every other time him and Chris were together. Here are some examples, in 3x2-3x3 after the Tsunami, in 3x12 when Eddie and Buck built Chris an adaptable skateboard, in 4x8 when Chris ran away to Buck's loft, in 5x13 when Chris called Buck during Eddie's breakdown and in 5x14 when Buck helped Chris with his homework. The look on Eddie's face in 5x3 before he told Ana "Maybe you should go home first" said it all. He didn't want her there and he never called her "his Ana" like he called Buck "his Buck".

Chris' comment and question

Finally, Chris said "Let's make brownies next" in 5x3 but Ana's reply was "I think we need to clean that kitchen first". She made the mess but she wanted Chris to help her clean it up. But in 6x13, Chris asked, "Can we have cookies for dinner?" and Buck replied, "Well, I thought maybe we'd have some steak and then cookies". He didn't suggest Chris clean up the mess because THERE WASN'T ONE! Reminder Buck's kitchen was already clean even though Ana left Eddie's messy.

The difference between Ana and Buck is BUCK'S ALWAYS BEEN SHOWN TO BE CHRIS' SECOND PARENT! She played the role as the "NICE" girlfriend who was a "God send" but she was NEVER going to be there long since Buck's the person who's been raising Chris with Eddie for years.

Bonus: In 5x2 Buck told Eddie to breakup with Ana and he did in 5x3🙃.

Will Buck and Eddie FINALLY become a CANON couple in season 7 or will the show keep throwing one dimensional women at them instead of just letting them be together? Only the showrunners, writers and producers know the answers to that question.

[fromxxthexxashes]

Okay, this is kind of long, but just hear me out:

I keep seeing people say Eddie saying he ‘moves too fast’ seems out of character, but I don’t think I agree.

For one, he proposed to Shanon after she got pregnant, and when she came back in his life he immediately started sleeping with her and immediately moved to re-propose when he thought she was pregnant again.

With Ana, he did take things slower at first, but he did introduce her to Chris pretty quickly (at least I think so). Though, I will admit he didn’t introduce her without thinking about it because he did go to Bobby and Athena for advice. However, after he introduced Ana to Chris, they seemed to get a lot more serious fairly quickly. They hadn’t even said ‘I love you’ before Ana was stepping into this sort of ‘motherly’ role. After all, she was over at Eddie’s house cooking meals (ex: the dinner with/ Carla) and she looked after Chris for days during the blackout, when Abuela or Pepa could have helped out. Eddie described it as a “ready-made family”, which for me translates to ‘things went too fast and got way too serious before I knew it’. When he realized just how serious things were getting, he started panicking. She was enveloped enough in their life that Chris thought they would get married someday. And when the reality caught up to him that he was building this family unit with a woman he didn’t love, couldn’t love, it scared him and he broke it off.

Then he rushed things with M*risol and he freaked out again. The whole (admittedly stupid) nun storyline was there to show us that Eddie didn’t know anything about this woman (and that he has catholic guilt), yet he asked her to move in before he even said I love you. Why? Well, it goes back to Eddie’s age-old enemy: obligation.

For one, he feels obligated to have this permanent mother figure in Christopher’s life (and someone on here made a great post about how Eddie’s decision to ask M*risol to move in tied back to Chris’s storyline in 7x01 which I agree with with 100%). I also know that Eddie has never had a healthy romantic relationship in his life. He has never gotten with a woman without something pushing him to do it. With Shannon, it was a teen pregnancy and the church. With Ana, it was his (well-meaning) friends who pushed him to move on from Shannon. With M*risol, it was Pepa (with good intentions) who pushed him to start dating again, otherwise he might end up alone.

Marrying someone is something one does because one loves someone. Eddie proposed because he was afraid of what the church would think. Letting someone step into a mother-like role in a child’s life is something one does when one loves someone. Eddie did it because he was afraid he and Christopher were never going to be able to move on from Shannon. One asks someone to move in because they love them. Eddie did it because he was scared of having someone else walk out of his and Chris’s life.

Eddie has never followed his heart when it comes to his relationships with women. He has never dated someone casually before. He always tries to commit way before his heart is in it. He goes through these really long stints of being single, followed by relationships that do, admittedly, move really fast. He thinks he’s following his gut, but in truth, he’s following his misguided sense of duty.

The only time Eddie has made a serious commitment that wasn’t born out of obligation, was when he wrote Buck into his will. No one told him to do that. He did that because he wanted the best for Chris, sure, but more so because Eddie doesn’t trust anyone as much as he trusts Buck. And he did that knowing that his parents would disapprove. He did it despite his obligations to his blood family. Eddie followed his heart and tied himself and his son to Buck for the rest of their lives. (And notice how Buck has been a borderline co-parent to Chris for years, and that has never freaked Eddie out before)

So, yeah, I think he does move too fast in his relationships with women because he always takes serious steps before he develops serious feelings for these women. And he probably knows, deep down, that he’ll never be able to develop serious, romantic feelings for women. This is why he jumps into the deep end, because if he doesn’t, then he’ll never get there.

He has wants. He’s just not ready to acknowledge them yet. So, for now, he’ll just keep on doing what he feels he’s obligated to do.

[blazinghotfoggynights]

Oh, Edmundo, you enigma.

Edmundo Diaz's love life has left 911 viewers, or at least some, scratching their heads for six seasons.

If Buck and Natalia began seeing each other before Eddie even asked Marisol on a date, and it seems Buck and Natalia were not a long-term couple based on the Eddie's verbiage and snarkiness after Buck admits they broke up then just how long was Eddie dating Marisol before he asked that woman to move in?

Bobby called Buck out for finding himself in relationships without knowing how he got there. I think Bobby needs to give Eddie the same speech. Let's look at the history:

Shannon hits on him. He accepts. She gets pregnant. They marry. I am still not convinced Eddie was in love with her. I think he loved her in some way, but not that way. After they had Christopher, he loved her as the mother of his child. That's it.

He introduced Ana to Christopher quickly. Remember, she took care of Christopher during the blackout. So, we know Eddie has a history of pushing women into the role of partner/parent much too soon.

Marisol was helping him supervise Christopher's dates and being asked to move in within what may be a few months? Why? Based on canon, it is obvious Eddie knew next to nothing about Marisol other than she would babysit Christopher and when Christopher was away they could play.

We all talk about Buck's issues, but Eddie's romantic history puts the "fun" in dysfunctional.

Everything we know about Eddie's romantic history is one giant crimson flag. He has never pursued a woman for normal reasons, such as thinking she is pretty, liking her personality, or just plain attraction. The woman either pursued him or made it clear they were interested if he wanted them. (They were thirsty. Remember that parent-teacher conference with Ana?) Even before he met his blind dates he knew it wouldn't work out. How do you know the person isn't your type before you ever meet them? When he reached the point of moving from casual to focused with Ana and Marisol, he found a reason to run. Every time. He even admits he used the military to escape his wife and son.

Eddie's behavior is not that of the usual heterosexual, allosexual man in his teens, twenties, and thirties that you encounter. The man NEVER looks at women and he is surrounded by beautiful women. He only pays attention when a woman blatantly hits on him, or someone tells him he should be pursuing a woman. We've seen Chimney, Buck, and Bobby turn their heads for a woman and flirt, but never Eddie.

I think there are only a few possible reasons Eddie's behavior is odd.

He's demisexual. He only experiences true attraction once an emotional bond has been created. That may explain why his "attraction" to Shannon endured, even in the face of all of the evidence that they were terrible together. They were friends first. Personally, I think she was his comfort zone. He knew her and being with her would give Christopher the family he thought his son deserved.

He's asexual. I don't think that is the case. I think he enjoys intimacy, but getting to the point of genuine enjoyment and connection is not happening with the women he dates.

He's not into women but doesn't know or doesn't want to know. This is a very real possibility. Eddie may not realize being into men is an option. His background may have prevented it from being an option in the past. When you consider where he was raised, the doctrine of his faith back then, his career path, etc., being gay may never have been an option. So, he forced himself to find women he could make an attempt to build a life with, he actively repressed his real attraction, or he just didn't know he was into men. It would explain why he feels he is "performing" on dates with women and how he knew before the date they weren't his type.

Eddie is not the stable guy who has his stuff together. Eddie and Buck bonded because they are both messes. Buck is just open with how messed up he is. Eddie hides it.

(I have numerous allosexual, heterosexual male figures in my life and have had them in my life forever. Please believe me when I tell you I know more about how they behave and think than I ever wanted to. Sometimes, when they were sharing way more than I wanted to hear, I was hoping the neuralizer from MIB would suddenly become real.)

[lover-of-mine]

After making all the sets showcasing the parallels between BuckTommy and all of Buck’s past failed relationships - what do you think that foreshadows about how BuckTommy will break up? So you think it will follow a pattern similar to one or more of his past breakups? Do you think it will have Buck realizing that he’s not off the hamster wheel just because he’s learned that he also likes men? How do you see that playing out?

Okay, here's the thing, Tommy parallels everyone. Including Ana and Kim and I'm sure that if I push the definitions of what a parallel is I could maybe find something with Marisol too, so it makes it harder to predict something. But focusing on Buck's relationships and how those go, Buck has two off-screen breakups. That creates some wiggle room in the pattern because we only have a throwaway line about the relationship ending. But as someone pointed out, I can't find the post right now, Buck's relationships end with what started it. If you simplify it enough the one with Abby starts and ends because Abby needs something to feel better, but Buck was Abby's love interest, not the other way around, so she bends the rules a bit. Ali and Buck meet because of the job and during their first date Buck even asks if she didn't just ask him out because of it and it ends because she can't handle it. Taylor wanted to get ahead on her job so much so that their first argument is brought up when they break up, because she did it once again. And Natalia started and ended because of Buck's death. There's also the way that both breakups we see come from Buck. If we consider the letter to Abby a breakup. But points in common between Buck's journey into letting go of Abby and breaking up with Taylor include: Buck talking to someone external in avoidance, talking to Bobby about how bad things are going in 204 vs talking to Eddie about how bad things are going in 518, Buck talking to someone external who will trigger the acceptance, talking to Carla in 207 vs talking to Maddie in 518, Buck also spends a length of time avoiding the actual problem until the thread snaps. His problems with Taylor didn't start at the story about Jonah, it was just the last drop, and his problems with Abby were more than her refusal to talk to him. A lot of people are oversimplifying what gets bt together to Eddie, and while, yes, it is, Buck doesn't know that. With Ali, Taylor, and Natalia, even Abby, that key problem is something he knows. He asks Ali if it's about the job. He gets into an argument with Taylor about her attitude, with Natalia, he even tells Eddie she just wanted to ask more about his death. And the whole thing about Buck and his relationship with Abby was Buck learning to provide her with something. So I'm gonna on a limb here and say it will be about Bobby somehow. They meet because they need to save bathena, the talk before the kiss also involves Tommy talking about being jealous of Buck's spot in the family the 118 created after he left, which was brought up again during the dinner in 710. Gerrard being back is the perfect opening for cracks to start happening in their relationship and given how unbending and dry Tommy has been so far, them clashing because Tommy's approach to Gerrard was complacency and Buck doesn't know how to stand down when the people he loves are hurt, so would fit the breakup pattern. Especially because Tommy actually was there to excuse Buck from hurting someone while Buck was fully ready to take the responsibility, he just wasn't sure how to do it yet. I am also expecting s5 parallels, and my main spec right now is an opening disaster that mirrors the blackout aka forces the team to move into one place for a longer time, so I'm kinda expecting some sort of conversation with Eddie that will mirror the panic attacks one where he's in denial and a conversation with Chim or Hen that snaps him out of it and leads to the breakup. Also, the whole thing with the hamster wheel is that Buck doesn't know he's in one. And dating the same gender will come with its own set of issues that Buck won't see because it's outside what he's used to. So, maybe, someone can call Buck out on how he's repeating his patterns, maybe a callback to the truck conversation in 509 with Bobby telling him "you're still not talking to the people you date, kid" or something along those lines and push him into action. I also think that the show having Buck say with all the letters that he sees Bobby as a his father will probably have repercussions.

But, yeah, tldr is my current theory is that the 118 will cause the breakup.

There's always the possibility of it ending offscreen too. It could go anyway.

[outrunningthedark]

I disagree about seeing Marisol around Eddie AND Chris in the premier only because the supposed lack of time jump. It would mean in theory that Eddie is bringing Chris along on their first date . I will say I could be wrong because time doesn’t mean a lot to Tim. 😂

Some stuff is just...I don't know what to tell ya because it's so clear to me. Eddie doesn't go slow when he commits to a woman. He proposed to and married Shannon when he learned she was pregnant because it was "the right thing to do". Once he made the decision to bring Ana into his home and around Chris, she became the stand-in parent/mother figure, ie during the blackout. Eddie asked Marisol for her number. He called her. In front of Chris. There is no need for second guessing as we start the season because it's what Eddie wanted and he knows Chris is okay with it compared to the last time. Even if we don't see all three together in the same room at the same time, the implication will be that Marisol has been around her new boyfriend's son with no problems. Making dinner together or cleaning up afterwards? Will the script says Chris asked to eat alone in his room because he doesn't want to get to know the woman in his dad's life? No. That Chris only exists in fanfic. And because this is clouding judgement, people are running with the "no time jump" thing - it's like once one person says it, everybody has to follow - but all we've gotten from the few trailers is ONE scene of Athena prior to the cruise. Nothing else. Nobody else from the firefam is shown prior to, either. Common sense would say that this is more likely to be a flashback that proves Athena was right to be fearful and/or foreshadowing of what they're going to experience as we see them having a good time on day number whatever instead of a complete rewind of the 6x18 ending so that we'll get every moment from the second they board the ship.

[what-do-1000-swords-look-like]

Buddie's Journey Through Season 5 - It's All About the Parallels

Carla saying in 4x13 that Eddie needed to follow his heart and not Christopher's after asking about his relationship with Ana...that story line (the relationship) could have easily been axed by the end of 4x14.

But instead the writers chose to keep Eddie's relationship with Ana going into season 5, which they immediately began to dismantle in 5x01, finishing up by 5x03. They chose to loop it into the bigger goal for the season: Eddie's character development.

The funny thing is, the writers also chose to give Buck a love interest in season 4 as well. They had brought Taylor back (just like they brought Ana back for Eddie in this same season) and made it clear that Buck was interested in being more than friends and their past casual hookups, which only gets fully addressed by the end of 4x14.

And another funny thing is at the end of 4x14, it's Buck bringing Eddie home from the hospital. It's Buck taking care of Christopher and staying in their house. (something they chose to show a contrast with in season 5 with Ana during the blackout, though we are never shown Ana and Christopher by themselves) It's Buck we see Eddie having the heart to heart with after the shooting, twice. Ana and Taylor are on the other side of the door in Eddie's home. (remember how odd it felt for Taylor to be there?) Buck and Eddie are on the opposite side until Eddie walks in while Buck remains at the threshold, watching everything.

Then in season 5, Eddie and Ana's relationship fizzles out pretty quickly, and Eddie is on a journey of character development. This reaches its breaking/escalation point fairly quickly once Ana is gone. And who is called when this happens ? Buck. In a framing shot similar to when Ana called Buck about Eddie in 4x14, with stuff going on with Taylor and her relationship with Buck going on in the background at the same time.

"Ana. Everything okay?"

"Chris?"

In the first shot, things are not okay with Eddie. Yes, he survived but he hasn't woken up yet from the surgery. Buck is understandably wary when Ana calls. Before this moment, Taylor had just kissed him and then ran.

In the second shot, Buck picks up the phone, happy that Chris is calling. He has no idea what's going on and thinks Eddie and Chris are both okay, not expecting anything bad & no reason to be wary. Before this shot (a Madney sequence occurred before we see Eddie's breakdown & Chris reacting to it), Buck and Taylor talk about their relationship and about the kiss he shared with someone else.

And then lo and behold, a few episodes later, Buck and Taylor's relationship dissolves as well. In the same season as Eddie's did, after they both had returning love interests return in the same season (4), that both relationships didn't have the best starts. Two love interests they had history with that were not exactly stellar.

And in the same season they had Eddie's character development happening (more than the average per season) that turned into a major story line surrounding the season, as they did for Buck. Though Eddie's was a bit more overt and louder (if that makes sense), Buck's was present also.

These two were in the first romantic relationship they had since their previous partners: Shannon for Eddie and Ali for Buck (really more Abby because Ali didn't fully live together with Buck as she did or Taylor).

Both react to it slightly differently, but ultimately they never fully settle into it - thus, the beginning of the dismantling.

And the entire time they are going through all of this major character development , they lean on each other emotionally instead of giving their partners that chance to be there for them. And they continue this emotional support of one another until the end of the season. It doesn't mean we don't see them receiving support from others (such as Maddie for Buck) or giving support to others (such as Eddie for Bobby), but the one constant that is repeated throughout the season is Buck and Eddie.

Again

Again

Again

Again

and again

And they even had it in 5x01 and 5x02. Not to mention 5x06, 5x08, 5x10, and 5x11.

These conversations revolve around:

5x01 - Eddie's panic attack & Buck knowing something is wrong but Eddie not wanting to tell him

5x02 - Buck is concerned about Eddie's health & they talk about Eddie's relationship with Ana

5x04 - Buck has been punched by Chimney & he's upset

5x06 - a bonding traumatic event happens (them getting taken hostage) & Buck is clearly worried about both Eddie and Christopher during this event, which makes sense for the Buckley Diaz family setup, but they purposely gave us Buck's reaction to the gunshot (which links to the aftermath of what Eddie is struggling with this season to an extent which means this moment is about Eddie not Christopher or the will)

5x08 - Buck tells Eddie that they need to keep moving forward & trying to save people (in this episode, they work to rescue the kids -> doing a rescue together)

5x10 - Buck and Eddie talk about Christopher & why the nightmares are starting to happen again - this convo not only is related to Shannon & she is mentioned but this also leads to Eddie's decision later on to leave the 118 (which he then ends up finding out was not what Christopher wanted or the best decision for him) -> this is about Eddie

5x11 - Buck & Eddie talk in the kitchen about Eddie's new job & how he's faring (which Buck thinks he isn't too well & it turns out he's right)

5x13 - Eddie breaks down, Christopher calls Buck -> Buck finds Eddie in his room, gets Christopher settled & then talks to Eddie

5x14 - Buck talks to Eddie & Eddie wonders if everything they do as a first responder is worth it; Buck brings Christopher & Eddie to equine therapy where Buck shows Eddie that Charlie is there & he can see he's doing well, emphasizing that yes it's worth it

5x17 - Eddie talks to Buck as he packs for Christopher for their trip back to Texas, he talks about his father & the upcoming party

5x18 - Buck talks to Eddie about Bobby which then turns into the conversation about Taylor & her betrayal

Then notice how the physical seems to surround these emotional scenes:

5x01 - Eddie's panic attack/heart

5x02 - Eddie looks tired & his beginning panic attack

5x04 - Buck is icing his eye with ice from Chimney's punch; "Ice goes on the eye, bud"

5x06 - both B&E are taken hostage; Buck has been hit in the head by a gun; Eddie, Christopher, and Buck are all threatened to be shot; Eddie is pumping Mitchell's heart to keep him alive

5x08 - Eddie starts to have a panic attack but is able to ward it off after talking with Buck

5x10 - they're talking about Christopher's nightmare

5x11 - Eddie looks tired & unhappy and Buck notices

5x13 - Eddie takes a bat to his bedroom walls along with everything else

5x14 - Eddie is in therapy and feels exhausted/drained; during this convo, Eddie picks up two drawings of a heart, one which Buck admits he drew "I misunderstood the assignment" (how ironic since Buck is currently dealing with relationship troubles & that maybe he doesn't understand his own heart yet or the way it's supposed to be, hmm...); Eddie sees Charlie again, the boy he saved when he got shot

5x17 - in this episode, Ramon has what appears to be a heart attack but actually has something to do with his arteries (a la Eddie panic attack style)

5x18 - Eddie & Buck are patching up the wall together that he busted up with his bat back in 5x13

Then you have the three rescues they perform together after the blackout arc:

Kids (5x08)

Guy who is double-timing two wives where the line is said "Maybe I can fake amnesia, give myself some time to figure it out" in the same episode Buck is wondering what to get Taylor for Christmas & Eddie is struggling with what is happening with Christopher (5x10) [though this does not produce an emotional scene for either B or E, they still have their emotional connection moment later on in the episode]

Guy who is interested in Josh romantically (which is interesting timing since this episode is about Eddie finding himself again & on this end of the season, he is starting to separate himself from Christopher symbolically; also this episode featured the father/daughter dynamic of May & Bobby heavily, the brothers Chimney & Albert - guess which family dynamic that left? so it would make sense for it to be something related to Christopher/child for them rather than Josh's intended beau) [5x16]

Then you have the parallels of other pairings and characters/events happening around them:

Madney - this is a canon romantic pairing that is romantic in the first half of the season (5A) & is platonic/familial only in the second half of the season (5B) - in 5B after the breakup, we see both Maddie & Chimney attempting to co-parent their daughter while getting over each other and trying to move on after having a previous romantic relationship (sound familiar? see above)

Henren - a canon romantic pairing that has Eddie paralleling Karen and Buck paralleling Hen (5x15)

Bathena - a canon romantic pairing that Buddie gets paralled to in 5x09 with the "firefighter roleplay"

And that doesn't even begin to get into the parallels to other side romantic pairings like Clive/Toni and other relationships during emergencies.

Season 5 was all about moving Eddie into position, emotionally.

So now we have to wait to see if Buck will also be moved into position as well and go through his own emotional development. Because once that happens: checkmate.

[scattered-winter]

i would be very interested in your aro buck and aro eddie aus and headcanons!!! i am aspec myself, and i have been enjoying aspec buck and eddie takes in fic, but i almost never see them being aro. if you feel comfy sharing, i am all eyes 😍🌈❤️

the aro eddie hcs are more based in what I've seen in canon (because he's sooooooooo coded <33) and the aro buck hcs are more born from spite than anything else BUT I WILL HAPPILY TELL YOU ABOUT THEM<3

so the thing abt eddie is that bro is NOT interested in a relationship. pepa's trying to get him to date, but he's just really not into it. now one could read this in many ways, all equally valid, but I'm choosing to interpret this as him being more comfortable with not wanting a relationship. he keeps comparing the dates to what he had with shannon, as a kid. and he can't find anything like that as an adult so he's saying he's Waiting For The Right Person (when in reality what he had with shannon was probably idealized + romanticized because they were KIDS. they were kids and they both had more responsibility than they should have had to handle at that age and so I feel like eddie is very much looking through rose-colored lens when it comes to what he had with shannon.) and I'm not denying that they had anything, because it's soo clear that they loved each other a lot!!!!! this might be a hot take but I think one of the reasons why they fell apart the way they did was because of how much love was there. but that's something for another post. but regardless, eddie is using a romance he had as a kid to compare to the potential romances he could have as an adult. which to ME is very aro coded because there's this framework of What Romance Should Look Like that a lot of aro people try and make themselves fit into, at least at first. and idk there's something to be said for how much eddie loves his team and his kid and all the people in his life who he doesn't have any kind of romantic obligation to. it's only when there are expectations for A Romance To Develop where he starts getting cagey

and the whooole thing with ana just really highlights this because the ENTIRE time, eddie was focused purely on what ana brought to the table in terms of chris. chris needed someone to take care of him during the blackout, chris liked having ana over, chris needed another caregiver in his life that he loved and trusted, so clearly eddie needed to keep dating ana because she gave chris all of those things. and when eddie finally does come to terms with the fact that he's keeping ana at a distance because he doesn't feel the things he should feel about her, he breaks up with her, and has been reluctant to jump back into any relationships ever since.

and for buck, I'm always fascinated by characters who are overly sexual/romantic because in the rich inner world they're compensating for a lack of those feelings. so buck in my rich inner world is both aromantic and asexual, and the way he behaves (or USED to behave) is his way of trying to Cope With Being Different. he grew up in the amatonormative world we live in, where kids on the playground are teased about friends of the opposite gender because everyone knows you can't be friends with someone without having Attraction (sarcasm), and with the upbringing we knew he had from his parents (or lack thereof), I really think a kid on both the aro and ace spectrums surrounded by all that would lean all the way into the other direction to Compensate. his parents only gave him attention when he got hurt doing something reckless, and I think this is kind of the same flavor where he thinks if he has enough sex or has a deep and meaningful enough romantic relationship, he'll be Fixed. and idk. for buck it's more about the Vibes than anything else but eddie is sooooooo aro coded it makes me insane

anyway my ideal buddie is a qpr where they sort of blur the lines between Traditional Friendship and Traditional Romance (like they already do) and they never really consciously make a shift into Romance Territory because they don't need to!!! they're happy where they are!!!! they love each other and they're raising a kid together and if people want to try and fit them into a box that's their problem, not buddies'.

[idohistorysometimes]

The “Alopecian bad guy” trope: how Alopecia is shown in film

Intro

The other day my friend was watching Bladerunner 2049 and shot me a message saying: “Hey (insert my name here), there is a guy like you in my movie”.

Since my friends have learned of my diagnosis of Alopecia they will send me messages every so often informing me of characters in movies, shows, or other pieces of media they are watching that also have some form of it as well. And in true friend form, they followed up this message to me with a screenshot along with requesting I watch the movie with them.

Sure enough, its a guy like me (not the same type of Alopecia but still a fellow Alopecian)

For those unaware, this man’s name is Tómas Lemarquis and he plays the file clerk at the Wallace facility housing all of the replicant records. I have seen him in a few other films and I gotta say, he has great acting chops and I look forward to seeing what else he plans on doing. It is very important to note here that, despite working for the ‘big bad’ of the film, the clerk (played by Tómas) does not do anything that would indicate him being a ‘bad guy’. He greets the main character, takes his DNA sample, does some computer stuff, takes him to a massive file room, and gives him the file he is looking for. The clerk and K (the main character) have some idle chit-chat while the clerk is attempting to locate the files, but none of it is of a malicious nature. In fact, he seems scared of Luv (the replicant working directly under the CEO of the Wallace company) and tries to keep as much distance between himself and her as possible. He is just here to do his job and then leave. We never see him again after this point in the film.

It is pretty unclear if the clerk is a replicant or not since most replicants are visually the same as normal humans, and often tend to work service-type jobs (which is what the clerk is doing). The clerk does talk to K about memories though which is important since replicants have false implanted memories. He describes his childhood being alive during “The Blackout” and how his parents (specifically his mother) were upset about his baby pictures being deleted. This is important lore-wise because replicants are never children, they come out as fully-formed adults, and as a result, they never have parents. But at the same time he is working at the Wallace company HQ and the only other people we see there are Mr Wallace himself and Luv (who is a replicant). Given replicants are genetically made to be obedient and submissive to their masters so rebellion would not be an issue; it would make sense if a large chuck of Mr Wallace’s workforce are replicants. While there still would be human employees doing a lot of the functional work creating replicants (like Ana Stelline or Mr Wallace himself) it makes sense for such a large company to use replicants for everything else. And since they are the people making the replicants, it does not seem like it would be that hard to make replicants for use by Wallace for their company.

I thought the clerk was human but there was a bit of disagreement between me and my friend as we were watching the film. Given I had not ever watched this movie before I typed something along the lines of “is the clerk in blade runner a replicant” and then clicked the search bar on Google and BOOM, somebody had the same question as me on Reddit. I clicked on the post and scrolled down into the replies to see what people were saying. And while there were many comments that were pretty good about explaining why the clerk was or was not a replicant, I ran into some comments less than kind.

Here are the 2 comments that stuck out to me in that thread. As you might be able to notice there have been some things edited out here. I edited out the usernames in these commenters and I also edited out bits of the first comment since those parts were more specific to the lore in the movie that did not involve this character. But I would like to bring focus to how Tómas is being described here. He is described as ugly, creepy, and having visible defects you would not see in a ‘perfect’ replicant. He is likened to a Ghoul not once, but twice, and in the second comment is compared to Nosferatu (a well-known media villain). Let me remind you, the clerk has not done anything to warrant him being compared to a Ghoul or a well-known fictional monster. These statements are all being made based on Tómas’ physical appearance and nothing else. And while these comments do not appear in EVERYTHING relating to the clerk, they appear enough to show that a non-zero amount of people view the clerk’s character as either being undesirable or at the most extreme inhuman based on his visual appearance alone which therefore meant he either was or was not a replicant.

And that is where it hit me, I’ve seen this before.

“Bad Bald Guy Syndrome”

BBGS or “Bad Bald Guy Syndrome” is a term coined by myself used to describe the common media trope of the villains or untrustworthy characters in media being bald or balding. It does not seem to matter if this baldness is elective or not, as long as the character in question is shown as or is described as having visual hair loss the trope applies. And usually, the greater the hair loss the more often the trope is applicable however this is not always universal. But their evil seems to come from the fact they are bald or is added onto because they are bald.

But the trope in question does not stop there.

Another aspect of this trope I have noticed is that characters that fall under the “Bad Bald Guy Syndrome” trope also tend to lack morality, ‘saneness’, or othe traits people might find ‘good’. Baldness is often conflated with having a weak moral constitution or often have flimsy morals/consciences when external pressures are involved. For example: lots of bald characters often get involved with betrayal plots. They either switch teams halfway through, they can’t seem to consistently stick to their own moral compasses, or their allegiances and morality often are tied to money or self-gain so they were never morally reliable in the first place. They are not trustworthy characters. And in many cases their baldness also makes them creepy or unhinged.

To show you what I am talking about let’s look at some examples. And since we have already talked about Tómas Lemarquis once, let’s look at some of his filmography.

Tómas Lemarquis’ Filmography

I will be honest and say that given a lot of Tómas’ earlier work is in a language that is not English, I did not get a chance to really explore those films and see just how his characters were treated on screen. I tried to only look at films that had complete English dubs or subs that were available online that I could find given those were the only ones I could understand and thus give a complete opinion on. The films I watched were “Errors of the Human Body”, “Snowpiercer” (which is actually a show), “Touch me not”, “Dreamland”, and “Waiting for Anya”. I also later watched Xmen Apocalypse.

“Touch me not” is the film that gives Tómas the most humanity and portrays him in the most human way. In this film, Tómas (playing himself) struggles with intimacy much like many of the other characters we see. He struggles with being emotionally and in some cases physically close with people. And part of the film just deals with his struggles with being able to address that idea of closeness and openness and overcoming his personal mental blocks. And even though the film does give Tómas a few offputting moments, it is not because the film is trying to make him the bad guy. These scenes are to show us just how disconnected Tómas is from himself and how he wants to feel. He wants intimacy but he is held back by his own mental wall. He only watches and sees other people doing what he wants to do. And as an Alopecian myself (of a lesser degree of course) I relate to this a lot. Being close to others when you have a condition that makes others look at you funny is hard. And I struggle with similar feelings as I am sure many other people both Alopecian and not do.

And by the end of the film, with the guidance of his therapy group and his therapy partner Christian specifically, he kind of becomes more comfortable with himself and where he is at. He has less hangups than before. And we actually see him have relations with Laura, the protagonist, around the end of the movie (something I dont think he would have or could have done before). The reason I say kind of is because it is still going to take Tómas a very long time to deprogram himself from thinking in his very self-limiting way. He is still going to have to uphold the lessons he has learned throughout the film. But you can tell throughout the duration of the film Tómas is growing as a person and is, most importantly, humanized.

In these other films, however, Tómas’ characters are not treated like this.

In “Errors of the human body”, “Snowpiercer“, “Dreamland” and “Waiting for Anya”, Tómas is very much supposed to be a, if for THE, bad guy in the film.

In “Errors of the human body” Tómas plays a doctor by the name of Jarek Novak who is from the start primed to be the antagonist. He postures himself to be as offputting as possible. He never states what his intentions are initially and he is kind of pushy with Geoff (the main character). When he does be more blatant with Geoff about what he wants he uses Geoff’s dead son as an example. He views the death of Geoff’s son by way of genetic disease as more “a means to an end” rather than as Geoff’s motivation for his work. He also steals research from the character Rebekka and plans to pass it off as his own discovery, and breaks into Geoff’s house to steal back the mouse Geoff took from his lab. He is also the reason why Geoff ends up getting sick during the middle half of the film. While it is confirmed that Jarek and Rebekka had a fling in the past, there is not really an explicit reason why he acts the way he does beyond “that’s just how he is”. Unlike Geoff or Rebekka he does not seem to have any reason for any of what he does beyond wanting fame or influence.

The man brings up Stalin’s thoughts about ideological indoctrination in his opening pitch to Geoff as being a positive example. I do not think we are supposed to like him.

In Snowpiercer Tómas plays a henchman named “Egghead” who serves Deputy-Minister Mason. He shoots people and gives out eggs. That is about it. He has a very minor role.

He is also the evil vampire Count character who is marrying a child bride in “DREAMLAND”. For those wishing to watch this film please be warned: there are 2 movies named “DREAMLAND” released within about a year from each other. This makes it somewhat hard to track down online since, more often than not, you will find the other movie produced with a much larger budget and a more star-studded cast. Anyway, he is never actually given a name, he is normally either referred to as “the countesses brother, the vampire” or something of that nature. He overall does not have an overly large role in the film. While he is A bad guy character I would not clock him as THE bad guy character since all he seems to do is loom, do over-the-top vampire things, or look creepily at the ‘bride’. And to add to this, we only see him a few times. He is not on screen as much as a few of the other characters. But when he is on screen he is actually really fun to watch here due to just how animated he is. But he is no Jarek Novak, that is for sure. He is not the main thing we should be worrying about. But he is there, doing over-the-top vampire things… and honestly thats how it should be for this film.

And in “Waiting for Anya” he is a nazi. He is a nazi officer who shoots a child at the end of the movie. He very much is the villain or at least on the side of the people we do not want to win. He plays a nazi. The film itself is about escaping the nazis.

Tómas’ role as Caliban in Xmen is not a villain per say, but Caliban is not the same character he is in Logan (both because they are not the same actor and because the personality shift is pretty profound even though the series writers try to claim otherwise). Caliban is shown to be pretty easily swayed with the promise of money. He is willing to betray any person if the price is right. He has pretty flimsy morals (which also further plays into this trope) and does not seem to be too overly concerned with things as long as he gets what he wants. He is not ‘bad’ but he is not ‘good’ either. He is whatever will pay him the most. He occupies a very ‘neutral’ space.

I think it would be unfair to blame Tómas for any of these castings since I will admit, being the bad guy can be fun. There is an allure in getting to be the villain of the story, and I say that having played a few of those types of roles myself. There is nothing inherently wrong with playing the bad guy or morally questionable character in a story.  Tómas is also an actor (wow, shocking I know) and sometimes being picky with your roles while being an actor with less of an industry presence can result in more harm to your career than good. This is not me trying to shame Tómas for taking these roles or enjoying them. However, the types of roles he is being cast in shows a little bit of a trend.

Tómas is not the only actor this happens to though.

Anthony Carrigan’s  Filmography

Anthony Carrigan is another actor who is pretty well known for having Alopecia. His most well-known role right now is in Barry as the character NoHo Hank (a gay Chechen Mobster who is in a relationship with a rival gang member). He also appears in Gotham as the character Victor Zsasz, The Mist in the show “The Flash”, and a lot of other shows as 1-off characters. However, much like with Tómas, he tends to be typecast.

Here is Anthony’s filmography. Given he is an American actor who primarily does films that are in English and produced by companies that distribute their work to the US, his work is a lot easier for me to find (and some of it I happen to be fans of, like Barry for instance. Noho is the best character).

Something I would like to say about the look at Anthony’s filmography is that I am ‘conveniently’ ignoring a lot of his older work along with some of his voice-acting work. This is because for the voice acting work Anthony is not physically on screen, and for a lot of his work pre-2014 he is not playing roles as a bald character. He still had Alopecia at this time but it was not something he was showing openly at the time. Because of this, I will only be looking at films/shows where this trope does actually apply. Those shows/films are: “Satanic”, “Hard Sun”, “Gotham”, “Barry”, “The Flash”, and “Fatherhood”. Sadly I was not able to get a hold of his Blacklist episode for whatever reason.

In Gotham, Anthony plays Victor Zsasz, one of Gotham’s most formidable hitmen. He tortures, kills, and he has no loyalties to speak of (minus the one he has with Falcone) and will switch sides as soon as more money is added to the pool (case in point, what he does to Oswald Cobblepot). They also don’t show this too much but like in the comics, Victor Zsasz also cuts tally marks into his skin every time he kills a person. From the 1 time we do see him do this it is shown that these tallies already cover the majority for his forearm and probably many more parts of his skin we cannot see. Mans is scary and earns that fear well. He does help the ‘good guys’ on occasion but I would not call what he does an act of goodness or altruism. He does it to save himself or because he has some sort of greater incentive to. He does not hate Jim, I would say he is more on the side of liking Jim Gordon than not, but him throwing them bones also brings down the people he does not like or gives him problems.

In the film Satanic, Anthony plays the owner of a satanic goods shop in LA. Anthony (who also has the name Anthony in the film) is shown as also being a person who is willing to do actual satanic rituals and is seen nearly killing a woman for a ritual in the first half of the movie. Is he ultimately the bad guy? That is unclear since there is a lot going on with the movie that makes its plot a little difficult to follow (which is also why the movie kinda flubbed at the box office). But regardless Anthony is a character meant to be feared and or distrusted here and a lot of that comes from his appearance. He is visually set aside from the other characters.

In The Flash Anthony is “Kyle Nimbus” who also goes by the name “The Mist” The Mist is a hitman who is a minor antagonist in the first season of the show.

And as Mr. Vice (or Weiss as according to Wikipedia) in Hard Sun Anthony takes on the role of a serial lobotomizer. Upon watching those scenes I actually felt like I was watching Victor Zsasz back in Gotham. Anthony is really good at channeling that kind of energy. If you edited out the bit with the officers at the end of this scene and replaced them with Jim Gordon and Harvey I would think it came from Gotham. Mr Vice and Zsasz have very similar energies.

Anthony’s roles of Oscar in “Fatherhood” and as the best character Noho Hank in “Barry” kind of diverge from this. Oscar is not shown to be an antagonist, but rather a friend helping a single-father friend raise his daughter. He is just a normal guy and his appearance is not used as a method of making the audience unsettled. And in “Barry”, although Hank is a mobster who does kill people, sells drugs, and does all of the other ‘Chechen mobster things’, he is probably one of the best morally good characters in the show. He does not give up on the people he loves (Cristobal, Barry, his men) even though sometimes he probably should to save himself. At many points, it would have probably been easier to just dump them and save himself but he does not. He goes out of his way to help others even if he has to put his own life on the line to do it. And yes, he feels extremely bad when he finds out Cristobal had children and was still married to his wife. He wants to be happy, not a homewrecker. And Cristobal’s dishonesty was something that majorly bothered Hank although it was not enough to keep him from saving him. He was not going to let Cristobal suffer as an act of petty revenge even though it probably would have been the easiest thing to do. Hank, despite being a criminal, is human and a good person deep down. And the audience roots for him because not only is he human, but he is genuine. He is more genuine than Fuches, Gene at times, and even Sally. He does bad things but is not a bad guy. If he was, he would have taken advantage of a lot of events in the show. He could have thrown Barry, Fuches, Goran, and Cristobal under the bus but did not. He could have gotten revenge on a lot of people or used his position for his own gain. He does not.

Once again this is not a stab at Anthony for taking these roles or having fun with them. He is actually really fun to watch on screen and you can tell he enjoys what he is doing and those are the best types of actors to watch. Being the asshole character can be fun. However, in 4/6 of the roles, we have talked about Anthony is explicitly an antagonist which is not inherently a problem by itself. And in all 4/6 of these roles, Anthony’s appearance is used to make the viewer uneasy and to drive home the fact Anthony’s character is the person you should not be wanting to win. To be fair this has not stopped the Tumblr fangirlies from all but making shrines of Victor Zsasz and or Noho Hank in their sock drawers. But the behavior of Tumblr fan culture does not change the fact that Anthony is being used to add to the ‘creepy factor’ to some of the scenes he is in.

This is a screenshot from the Hard Sun episode Anthony is in. Yes I am aware this is terrible quality. While the setup and context of this scene inherently makes whoever is the bad guy unsettling (because forced lobotomy is not something friendly or soothing), you cannot tell me that they are not using Anthony’s appearance to add to the unsettling factor of the scene. This problem is not with Anthony’s performance or even with his casting in general, its with how Alopecians are framed in media consistently. Alopecians can be the bad guy, and they often are, but when are they the good guy? They do exist but they are not an extremely common sight.

They more often than not, are always the bad guy in popular media.

And once again it does not stop here.

Joseph Gatt’s filmography

I thought I would stop at just Anthony and Tómas’ filmography I discovered yet ANOTHER actor that this can apply to.

Joseph Gatt is an English actor with Alopecia Universalis. His filmography is probably more than Anthony’s and Tómas’ put together and then some. It is pretty long. He has had no shortage of work, that is for sure.

And just like I did with both Anthony and Tómas, I went on another epic film adventure to see how this trope shows up in Joseph’s filmography. In the interest of time and space, I will not be getting as intensive as I did with the filmographies of the other 2 actors mostly because there are a lot more things to look over. But for the roles where Joseph is some form of antagonist, I am going to mark them with a red dot. And as with Tómas, there were some films and shows I was not able to find and watch for whatever reason. They are either not on US streaming servers, or are not saved anywhere you can watch them in general. I did resort to pirating for some of these films/shows I could not find legally. While that did bring up SOME results, some of them were still not locatable.

Lets take a look at his filmography with those dots.

These are the films Joseph has been in, just the films. Out of the 27 films he is in, 20 of which I was able to locate in some form online, he is a ‘bad guy’ in 13 of them. Using math to calculate, out of the films I was able to actually watch he was a ‘bad guy’ around 65% of the time. And even then this is probably an inaccurate number because, as I said before, I was not able to find some of these things he was in. There is a very real chance this number might be higher.

But to be fair, lets say Joseph is a ‘bad guy’ at least 50% of the time.

But wait, there is more.

Joseph has done more than just film work, he has done work for TV as well.

That’s a lot of red dots.

I was not able to find a lot of his older stuff (mostly things pre-2008) but post-Wonder Woman MOST of his shows were online.

Lets do some math again.

Joseph Gatt is in 28 shows, 22 of which I was able to find. He plays the villain or some type of antagonistic character in 17 of these shows. So 17/22 is ABOUT 77% OF THE TIME. And again these numbers might not be completely accurate since I was not able to watch 6 of these shows.

So to give some final stats: out of all 42 shows/movies Joseph is in where he is physically on screen, he is an antagonist in 30 of them. This means 71% of the time Joseph is some form of bad-guy. And in the larger, more ‘well-known’ productions he is in (Dumbo, Star Trek, Black Adam) he is the villain 2/3rds of the time. While I doubt many of you have seen the theatrical masterpiece that is Titanic 666, I am fairly sure you might at least be familiar with the Dumbo movie or Black Adam (or for my nerds out there Star Trek). And if you have conveniently ignored those movies, I think you might have seen NCIS, Game of Thrones, or Teen Wolf.

While this might not be as prolific of an issue in Tómas Lemarquis’ filmography (given I was not able to really give it a very in-depth look and only focused on his English releases so the scale might be off) or only starts to really show up in Anthony’s after his transition from Alopecia Areata to Alopecia Universalis, Joseph has had Alopecia Universalis since he was 14, before he started taking roles. He went into acting with Alopecia. And while he does get cast quite a bit so it is clear the Alopecia has not really gotten in the way of him getting jobs. It does however appear to be affecting what types of jobs he is getting. And because it is doing this, it sets a pretty clear theme.

Most of the time he is this tall imposing figure who you are meant to subconsciously fear. He is presented as scary. You do not see Victor Zelko or Neils Skellig and think “wow this is a friendly guy who I would like to be around”. You think “wow, this guy is scary and could kill me”. He does play good or neutral characters but he is never really an explicit protagonist. He is not really ever the person we are rooting for when he is on screen. And when he is in those few instances where that is the case, it only seems to be in small inde films that tend to get critically panned.

But this does not only happen to actors with Alopecia, as shown here, it happens to characters who are bald as well.

Dune (2021)

The film Dune is a Science Fiction movie based on the book of the same name. As you might imagine, the plot of this movie (by virtue of being science fiction) is extremely complex and is packed with Lore so rich it would make Jeffrey Bezos look like a struggling college student. I am not going to explain the extent of the Lore of Dune here since, that would take a while, but what is relevant here are the Houses all vying for control for the planet Arrakis (the planet that produces all of the Spice) and political power. In the books there are a LOT of these houses all fighting for control and dominance over each other. However, in the movie, we only really see House Atreides (the House protagonist Paul is apart of), House Harkonnen (the evil guys we are not supposed to like), and House Corrino (the house the emperor is a part of).

House Harkonnen will be what we are focusing on.

In the movie House Harkonnen is described as “ A brutal, militarist empire in the dystopian wasteland of Giedi Prime, ruled by Baron Vladimir Harkonnen”. The Baron himself is also described as being cruel, sadistic, and addicted to various vices such as food and sex (it is also implied he is a rapist and that many of his sex slaves/affairs are not adults). He is not a good person and serves as the primary antagonist in the movie. But lets take a look at what the Baron looks like.

Like all members of House Harkonnen shown to us in the movie, the Baron looks like this:

He has no hair, at all. No eyebrows, no hair on the scalp, no facial hair, nothing. He is completely hairless. And this is not something unique to the Baron either.

The Baron’s Nephew Rabban also looks like this and so do all of the soldiers Rabban is around who are all presumably born on the Harkonnen homeworld.

This is Piter de Vries, the Mentat (human computer smart guy person), for House Harkonnen. He also, again, looks the same. It also does not help that he is depicted as a sadistic psychopath who enjoys the suffering of others.

Here are the female servants seen serving the Baron. Same thing. They have no hair at all either (although I do want to point out that both of these actresses also have Alopecia and, unlike with a few of the other Harkonnen characters, they did not need makeup to achieve this look).

I have also seen this image floating around. I THINK it is from one of the deleted scenes, specifically featuring Rabban interrogating some technicians (these guys) trying to bring back the Baron from the gas incident using a decontamination pod thing. This is the only image I can find of this deleted scene, but if this IS truly a screenshot from that scene: this just further proves my point. Everybody on ‘ Team Harkonnen’ looks like this. We have not seen a Harkonnen person who has not looked like this.

While we know both the Baron and Rabban are related, I do not think the soldiers we see around both Rabban and the Baron, the servants, these technicians, and Piter are also related to the Baron. That, and in previous versions of Dune (including in the books) House Harkonnen is not described to look like this. They all mostly have red hair and a widow’s peak. The Baron is still extremely obese (as that is literally his whole character) but the complete hairlessness was an invention unique to the Dune 2021 movie. I see a lot of people say this universal Alopecia among ALL  House Harkonnens was a result of them living on their hellhole home planet. I have seen others claim it was to show them being powerful and dominant. But if that were the case why are the slaves (the subjugated people) also shown like this? And the only person shown to have negative health conditions is the Baron himself, and most of that just seems to be because he is constantly stuffing his face with food. If Giedi Prime was truly giving people illnesses and making their hair fall out Piter, Rabban, and their entire army would probably have health issues as well.

I suppose you might be able to argue that the lack of sun might also be a factor here. But I am more willing to bet the fact the people of House Harkonnen or the people around it look like this because the movie is trying to visually differentiate them from the rest of the people in the movie. Harkonnen, the bald guys, are the bad guys while House Atreides, the people with hair, are the good guys.

Bald bad, hair good.

The School for Good and Evil

The Netflix movie “The School for Good and Evil” (based on the book of the same name) is a movie about 2 friends who wish to go to this fairytale school. One friend is stereotypically preppy-like and wants to make dresses and be at the good school, while the other friend who is more tomboy anti-establishment does not really seem to care much about the school in general but would prefer to be on the evil side. But when they are magically chosen to go to the school, they get switched. Blond-hair-blue-eyes gets thrown into the evil side while “It’s not a phase mom” gets thrown into the good side.

During the scene where the 2 headmistresses kind of explain to the first year students (and to us, the audience) what is going on, we get this shot where it pans to each side of the room showing us the students.

Here is the “Good” side of the room. Its pretty much what you would expect. There is a lot of pink, poofy gowns, big hair, etc.

Here is the “evil” side of the room. I would like to point out here we see 2 bald characters. I THINK there are others in the background at other points of the film. But I want to point out that they are on the ‘evil’ side. There are no bald characters on the other side of the room. They are here. I would like to pay special attention to the one bald girl sitting next to Sophie in the front row.

On the far right you can see that one character again.

She pops up the most out of the 2 bald characters in that previous scene and you can frequently see her in the background of shots. She is always kinda there. But the thing you instantly notice is that she is only on screen when the evil side of the school is being shown. And while Sophie does this weird thing near the end of the movie where she flips the sides so good is now evil and evil is now good (I think I don’t know, I still am confused) that one character is still just consistently there and sometimes does evil stuff to remind you that she is apart of the evil school. And at the end of the movie, she, like the rest of the evil school, decides to chill with the good school because… friendship I guess. The movie itself is not the easiest to understand when it comes to plot. I hear the books were much better.

Regardless, she serves as a visual reminder of this trope. She starts out on the evil side and that is where she stays for most of the movie. While the movie does make fun of many of these “good vs evil” tropes, Sophie herself calls the ‘good’ school hypocrites which, within the context of the movie, is not wrong. But I do not think this actress and her inclusion in the film are meant to make fun of this trope. At best it fails to say anything new and at worst it just reinforces it.

It also does not help that the actress who plays this character (her name is Joelle) has only been in 2 mainstream films, both of which involve her being on the evil team (she is one of the Harkonnen servants in Dune and obviously the student seen above in The School of Good and Evil).

Nosferatu

In the 1922 film Nosferatu ALL of the bad guy characters are shown as bald.

This old guy standing next to our anime protagonist Thomas Hutter (seen on the right) is named Knock and he is the secondary antagonist of the film is Thomas’ boss. He is also the reason the vampire Count Orlok was able to come to the town and spread the plague. When we first meet this character he is sending/receiving encoded letters from the count. They are conspiring. And as the film itself progresses Knock’s negative traits increase. He slowly becomes insane. He acts more erratically as the count draws closer and begins doing things like eating spiders and attacking people. He is very not well and soon becomes a raving madman.

Count Orlok (the vampire) himself also has extremely visible hair loss much like Knock does. And to accompany this hair loss, Count Orlok also has bone-thin features, large teeth, and odd proportions. Count Orlok looks like this for a reason. He is meant to look sickly, ill, dead (which makes sense given how the Count is a literal vampire). When you see him you know right away “this guy is not normal”. Count Orlok also gets used as the basis for a lot of the other bald vampire archetypes we see in other movies, including the movie DREAMLAND I mentioned earlier. There are many visual callbacks to Count Orlok which persist in media today. He is the quintessential vampire.

The balding of both Knock and Count Orlok was a very intentional design choice for reasons I have explained above. The filmmakers do not want you to view these characters as normal or healthy. They also look the way they do because of some not-so-subtle biases common in Germany in the 1920s, but that is another post for another time.

Other examples

And because this is such a COMMON trope, it does not stop with the examples I have listed above. It goes far beyond the properties I have listed above in detail or will even be able to list.

Lets look at some additional examples

This is Gollum (Lord of the Rings) before and after the ring. The ring turned him evil and part of the visual representation of this is the fact most of his hair falls out.

Voldemort in Harry Potter is VERY bald. Meanwhile, Dumbledore (a character much older than Voldemort) has a full hair of hair and a long beard. These 2 characters are polar opposites from each other. We have a very solid “GOOD VS EVIL” visual comparison like we do with House Atreides and House Harkonnen.

Dr Evil from Austin Powers (and Mini Me) are bald, but the character is literally a satire of this trope. He exists to make fun of supervillains and the very subject of this article. However, he is included here because… just look at him. He IS the trope.

ALL of the Cenobites in the Hellraiser Franchise are bald and becoming bald seems to be part of the process of becoming a Cenobite

This Nazi guy played by Otto Preminger in Margin for Error is bald. There is now a trend of bald Nazis I am starting to notice. I think this is another subject also worth exploring on its own but it still feeds into the “amorality” of baldness thing I mentioned earlier.

And many MANY more I could not fit into this article who fall under this media trope too including characters like Bane, Walter White, Dorkus from that Planet Sein show that failed on nickelodeon, Lex Luthor, Frank from Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia (he might be a protagonist of the how but he is not a good person) Mr Freeze in the batman universe (80% of the time), and many many others. There are too many to really count and I do not wish to watch any more films. I have already burnt a hole through my CPU watching Dune in 4K.

Why does this trope exist?

Since I am an Alopecian myself, I have some theories.

Hair loss has historically been something that has been undesirable for both men and women. The loss of hair can affect a person in multiple ways. Hair is a method of self-expression, an extension of yourself and your personality. Hair can be an extension of one’s cultural or religious identity. It can be an extension of one’s gender identity. Hair means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. And since hair is such an important aspect of ourselves and culture, it is pretty understandable why people would be afraid of losing it. It’s like losing a part of yourself or a way to connect with where you came from.

With that said I feel like, with this trope specifically, these feelings directed at hair loss itself often get translated into other negative feelings which leads the way for bald characters to get shown this way. They are manifestations of how we as people fear baldness and the unpredictability of losing our hair and start assigning other negative traits to baldness even if those traits have nothing to do with losing hair. For example, let’s look at the Dune movie again.

House Atreides (the house that consistently has full heads of hair and or beards) are portrayed as being the desirable house to root for. They are honorable, they are well respected among the other houses (minus 2 but this is out of jealousy), and they rule their people well (historically having fewer issues compared to the other houses due to their kindness and honorability). Even their homeworld of  Caladan is depicted is as lush and prosperous. Conversely, House Harkonnen (the completely hairless house) is depicted as being dishonorable, cruel, and plagued with problems both specific to individual house members (like the Baron and his food problem) and applicable to the house as a whole (like the greed and power-hunger). And even the home planet of House Harkonnen, Giedi Prime, is described as being an industrialized hellhole. Atreides is, in a very simple dumbed-down sense, all the traits you want to have. Meanwhile, Harkonnen is all of the traits you don’t want. They are complete opposites of each other visually and tonally.

We also see this similar concept take place in cases where some form of transformation (either physically or mentally) is involved.

Voldemort, Gollum, The Cenobites, Lex Luther, Walter White, and Knock did not start out bald. Knock has Androgenic Alopecia (a slower process than AA) which probably happened over the course of his life as he was becoming enthralled by Count Orlok, Lex Luther loses his hair in prison, Walter White chooses to go bald himself after finding out he has cancer and just before starting his meth lab, and Voldemort, Gollum, and the Cenobites all lose their hair as a result of their evil transformations into what they are now. Losing your hair seems to be an important narrative benchmark for creating evil characters. Once that hair is lost there is a noticeable change in the character’s personality and sometimes goals. It’s a point of no return. You are reminded that the character is now evil because they lack the hair they had before. They are no longer ‘good’. This then circles us back to feelings and concepts being projected onto hair loss even though these 2 concepts have nothing to do with each other.

The effect of this trope on Alopecian actors

Being bald does not make you commit crimes, rape people, become a scam artist, cook meth, go insane, or “eat hot chip and lie” as some of these films seem to suggest. This can put Alopecians in an interesting spot when it comes to acting and their ability to be seen in media. On the one hand, Anthony, Tomas, Joelle, Joseph, and other people with Alopecia are getting roles in Hollywood. Their condition is not a detriment to their career and its very awesome that this wall is slowly being broken down. They are visible. We see them. And with other celebrities coming out about their Alopecia, like Jada Pickett Smith for example, it has broken that barrier down further because that word is being normalized. Its there. We see it. We know what it is.

I would love to see more people like me in film and I am sure other Alopecians think similarly. Representation is important. And while Alopecia might not be the most detrimental medical condition to have, it still has a heavy stigma attached to it independent of this trope. And it extends far beyond stupid invasive questions and mean comments. That stigma can make it lethal given there have been multiple suicides linked to people with this condition being bullied and harassed. Kids often suffer this negative side of the stigma the most. Allowing both kids and adults with Alopecia to see people like them on screen not only allows for those people to have characters to relate to, it allows the general public to SEE Alopecia without it being in a medical context.

But at the same time I cannot help but feel that, because of this trope, baldness and by extension the illnesses that can cause it to happen often get put in this spot where it becomes a plot device, and not a good one. It becomes “oh, this character is bad” or “oh, this character is dishonest” or “oh, this character is evil, mean, not to be trusted, probably eats spiders”. What message does this send? You do not have to outright say “people with Alopecia are inherently creepy/bad” to send that message. How much are these castings are really the actor/actress choosing to play these roles and how much of it is these people getting pigeonholed so this trope can continue? And even as we move outside of the realm of actors with Alopecia Universalis, why is losing hair in general something we have to demonize so much in media? Regardless of the extent of the loss, why does hair loss have to mean doing creepy/villain roles or losing your job as an actor?

While I understand many of these actors have enjoyed their roles and have said as much in interviews, I would like to see them not be limited by this trope. And while it might be a good start to start addressing the biases we have around baldness in our private lives, we should also start addressing them on the media level as well. Hair loss does not have to be relegated to evilness or bad characters. Bald people can be the villain, a neutral character, or the hero! Its just a matter of letting bald actors and actresses be seen in those diverse lights. Beyond their baldness, beyond the villain roles. They deserve the right to be able to be more diverse with their filmographies and show the sides of themselves we often do not see because of this pigeonholing in media.

[extasiswings]

the nighttime fear (see it coming from the edge of the room)

Edit: Now on ao3 here.

Buck cleans Eddie’s room.

He doesn’t plan to necessarily, but after several hours of sitting up with Eddie and talking and making plans, Eddie finally falls asleep on the couch and Buck—

He’s full of restless energy, still feeling the echo of the pure terror that ripped through him the instant he heard Christopher’s panicked voice on the other end of the phone—Something’s wrong with dad. The ice that froze his veins and stole his breath when he broke through the door and saw only wreckage.

He can’t leave—not only because he promised both Eddie and Christopher that he wouldn’t, but because wild horses couldn’t drag him out of this house after that—but neither can he sit and watch Eddie sleep, tracking the rise and fall of his chest as a reminder that the worst case scenario that flickered through Buck’s mind in blind fear when he first stepped across the threshold of Eddie’s bedroom hadn’t come to pass.

So. Quietly, methodically, Buck gathers up a broom and garbage bags and pulls on gloves and steps back into the wreckage. And he cleans.

He hasn’t spent a lot of time in Eddie’s bedroom. Oh, he’s been inside before—grabbing clothes for Eddie when he was being discharged from the hospital, a handful of times in the aftermath when Eddie needed a lot of help—but Buck always had a very specific reason before, a narrowly defined task to complete. And even during Eddie’s recovery, if they could accomplish whatever needed to be done in the bathroom or living room, they did. He’s never really allowed himself to simply take it in, to look closely, to think about it. He’s never stepped inside without explicit permission before.

He’s never even considered it. It’s…Eddie’s bedroom. Private, personal, with a door that locks, unlike Buck’s which is out in the open for anyone to see, anyone to reach if they just walk up the stairs to the loft. Intimate. Untouchable.

From what Buck does remember, the room has always been kept meticulously clean, ordered, everything in its proper place. Even the clothes in the drawers—folded into neat squares and organized by article—Buck doesn’t imagine Eddie has ever run into the problem of not knowing where he put his favorite sweater or misplacing his socks. A locked box projecting perfect control. Just like the man who sleeps there.

Glass crunches under Buck’s shoes as he rights the unbroken lamp and he stops, his eyes sweeping over the room again. Something bubbles up in his throat—he’s not quite sure whether it’s bile or a bitter laugh.

Because he’s known, hasn’t he? He’s known all of Eddie’s control, all of his competence and strength and order, the lack of mess—so very different from the way Buck feels like his own head, his own life is nothing but barely managed chaos—somewhere Buck has known it’s an act. That this sort of break was inevitable. And yet—

And yet.

You don’t panic.

That’s what he said when Eddie admitted he had a panic attack during the blackout. And he said it without hesitation—a visceral, instinctive rejection of the idea that Eddie might not be okay.

You don’t panic.

He said it and he accepted it when Eddie insisted the only problem in his life was Ana. He said it and he stopped pushing and he buried the feeling that there was more going on. He told himself that he was projecting—that just because he wasn’t okay didn’t mean that Eddie wasn’t. And he kept telling himself that even as the signs started piling up.

Wild-eyed panic as Eddie performed compressions on a dead man and refused to let him go.

Desperation and despair as Eddie hit the side of a truck and begged to know what they were supposed to do after thinking they had lost two kids.

Eddie quitting his job.

Eddie telling him to move on even as the circles under his eyes grew darker.

You don’t panic.

Why? Why hadn’t he pushed harder? Why hadn’t he asked more questions? Why? Because he was afraid that if he pushed, he would lose Eddie completely? Or—

She’s the strong one. The one who has always taken care of you. But maybe this time she’s the one who needs taking care of.

Eddie’s face, raw and red with tears flickers behind his eyelids.

I pulled them out. But I didn’t save them.

—or maybe because the thought, the possibility—no, clearly the reality—of Eddie not being okay had been more terrifying than any other option.

Shame drops into Buck’s gut like a stone as he sweeps bits of glass and plaster and wood and twisted metal into a dustpan and dumps the lot into one of the garbage bags.

He had miscalculated. He had assumed that being there would be enough. That as long as Eddie knew he could come to him in a crisis, then he would.

Stupid—how long has he known this man? In all those years, has he ever known Eddie to voluntarily ask for help on his own behalf rather than Christopher’s?

He OD’d.

She shot herself. Last August.

It is bile that rises in Buck’s throat then, the words whispering in his head as he turns the corner around the bed and reaches for the baseball bat, abandoned on the floor where Buck had left it after gently pulling it from Eddie’s grip.

Because all of this can be fixed. Tipped over furniture can be moved upright. Picture frames and lamps can be replaced. Holes in the wall can be patched and painted over. Doors can be put back on their hinges. A room can be scrubbed and swept and vacuumed.

But Eddie can’t be replaced. And what if Christopher hadn’t been home? What if the impulse that led Eddie to take fists and a bat to his possessions had been just a little darker, a little more insular? What if Buck himself had been a little later?

There had been so much glass—

They’re all dead.

I pulled them out. But I didn’t save them.

I pulled him out.

I didn’t save him.

Should have gotten here sooner…

Buck swallows hard against the burning in his throat. He exhales a shuddering, heavy breath.

He cleans the room. Strips and remakes the bed. He takes the garbage bags to the dumpster. Tosses the bat for good measure.

Christopher doesn’t stir when Buck looks in on him. Eddie is still asleep on the couch.

Buck watches him. He looks…small. Like he had earlier—staring out the window, arms crossed, shoulders hunched, curling in on himself like a child trying to disappear.

Eddie’s always been physically smaller than him, albeit not by much. The difference so negligible that Buck rarely even notices. Especially because in his mind, Eddie is—has always been—so much more. Never truly brought low by anything, not even when he was lying in a hospital bed recovering from a gunshot wound.

And yet, he looks small now. Small and vulnerable and fragile. Buck’s struck with the urge to hold him.

Maybe this time she’s the one who needs taking care of.

He doesn’t. He’s unwilling to risk waking him. And maybe—

—maybe Buck isn’t quite sure they wouldn’t both shatter if he tried.

He goes back to Eddie’s room.

It’s not perfect. Not like before.

The treadmill is dented and twisted, and Buck still needs to plaster over the holes in the walls and replace the lock on the door. The bedsheets are wrinkled and missing a comforter because he wants to wash it to make sure he didn’t overlook any glass or splinters. He should vacuum, but doesn’t want to do that in the middle of the night.

It’s not perfect. Not even close. But it’s clean. And maybe that’s good enough for the moment.

I pulled them out. But I didn’t save them.

What are you afraid of?

That I’m never going to feel normal again.

Maybe she’s the one who needs taking care of.

Buck sinks down on the edge of the bed. He stares blankly at the holes in the wall, the faintest streaks of blood from Eddie’s scraped knuckles smearing the plaster, until he’s forced to blink.

He knows how that blood tastes. He’s had it in his mouth.

I pulled him out…

You’re the guy who likes to fix things.

You were always going to fail.

You don’t panic.

Buck closes his eyes.

Christopher is next door. Eddie is on the couch. They’re asleep. They don’t need anything from him right now except for him to be there when they wake.

And with that thought in mind, Buck puts his head in his hands. And he weeps.

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buck & Eddie: When Christopher Diaz wears a yellow shirt...

The color yellow represents energy, happiness and joy and while Christopher Diaz practically personifies all of those characteristics on a regular basis, every time he has worn that color in CANON, one of three things were being foreshadowed for Eddie. Either Eddie was preparing to deliver or going to receive bad news; he was in emotional, mental or physical pain; and/or he was preparing to face a time when he wouldn’t be able to hide the way he felt behind Christopher since Christopher was going to be away from home for more than a couple of days. Let’s review.

Christopher wore a yellow shirt in 3x1 “Kids Today” when Eddie took him to Buck’s loft.  No one could have predicted a Tsunami would happen but it did while Buck and Christopher were on the pier. Christopher’s shirt was noticeable and could be easily identified by Buck but once Christopher fell off the firetruck in 3x2 “Sink or Swim”, it became difficult for Buck to find him.  In 3x3 “The Searchers”, his yellow shirt had been covered by a red hoodie which prevented him from being recognized by anyone from the 118 even after the woman who had been carrying and caring for him boarded the mail truck that Chimney was driving to get the rest of the survivors to the hospital.  They were enroute to the V.A. Hospital which is where Buck was and that’s when Eddie saw him.  While Buck was telling Eddie that he lost Christopher, Eddie saw the woman carrying Christopher but his yellow shirt was still mostly covered by the hoodie.  Therefore Christopher was wearing a yellow shirt because Buck had to deliver bad news to Eddie that he lost Christopher and couldn’t find him which caused Eddie to experience some emotional pain but only for a few seconds.

Christopher wore a yellow sweatshirt with black dinosaurs all over it in 3x12 “Fools” during a conversation he had with Eddie.  They were discussing Christopher’s skateboarding incident that happened while he was at school. The bad news Eddie received during that conversation came directly from Christopher when he told Eddie that it was his idea to get on the skateboard when Eddie assumed the other child had pressured Christopher into doing it.  Also Christopher told Eddie that he lied to him when he said that he could do anything.  Eddie experienced some emotional hurt after Christopher said that he lied and he told Buck that made him feel like a failure.  Buck was the one who told Eddie that he was overcorrecting and they built Christopher an adaptable skateboard so that he could ride it at the park.

Christopher wore a yellow button-down shirt in 3x18 “What’s Next?” to May’s graduation party because he was preparing to go to Summer Camp for two weeks which meant Eddie would be left at home alone.  That was the first time they had been separated for more than a few hours since Eddie returned from Afghanistan; therefore Eddie had to face being on his own for the first time without having Christopher to hide behind.  Christopher made Eddie a card before he left and it said that Eddie was going to have a great time.

Christopher wore a yellow t-shirt in 5x3 “Desperate Measures” after the blackout ended because Eddie was preparing to deliver bad news to Ana.  He broke up with her because his heart wasn’t in it and even though he knew he had to do it; he also knew Christopher liked her which meant Christopher was going to be hurt after she left.

Christopher wore a yellow shirt with white sleeves in 5x13 “Fear-O-Phobia” because Eddie was in emotional, mental and physical pain due to his breakdown. Christopher called Buck and once Buck arrived, Buck’s clothing furthered The Buckley-Diaz Family’s story.

In 5x13 Buck wore a blue t-shirt (the same color as Eddie’s couch) with a red button-down shirt on top of it. The blue shirt was significant because Buck was going home to take care of his family even though he still lives at the loft.  He wore similar clothing during the Tsunami from 3x1-3x2 but the difference is he had on a white t-shirt with a red button-down on top of it before the Tsunami hit.  Buck and Eddie had already built a family by the time Eddie had his breakdown which meant Buck was going home to be with his boys so that he could take care of them.  He did that and he stayed with Eddie and Christopher for several days until Eddie was feeling better. 

In the future, if Christopher is shown wearing a yellow shirt, then it’s likely that Eddie will be receiving or delivering bad news to someone, he could be facing a time period where he won’t be able to hide behind Christopher or the audience should be on alert because it’s likely that Eddie will be preparing to deal with something he’s not ready for or something he doesn’t want to deal with that will cause him emotional, mental or physical pain.

GIF 3x2 “Sink or Swim”

GIF 3x2 “Sink or Swim”

GIF 3x3 “The Searchers”

GIF 3x12 “Fools”

GIF 3x18 “What’s Next?”

GIF 3x18 “What’s Next?”

GIF 3x18 “What’s Next?”

GIF 3x18 “What’s Next?”

GIF 5x3 “Desperate Measures”

GIF 5x13 “Fear-O-Phobia”

GIF 5x13 “Fear-O-Phobia”

[matan4il]

Buddie 503 meta

Before I get into things, just a small shoutout to Bobby & Buck’s bond and the progress we see in it: back in s1, when Bobby was going through rough times, Buck bluntly confronted him about it, and he shut everyone out, shoved Buck up against the wall and generally almost went off the deep end. This time, Buck is trying to check what’s going on in a far more gentle way, while Bobby actually tells his team what’s the matter, and they all end up helping him and Athena through it. IDK about you, but I loved this proof of how they’ve both grown during this show.

~

“If it was Christopher, I’d be losing my mind,” says Eddie, and right away the camera pans to Buck, his co-parent. Chim and Hen are both parents with kids of their own, they could have agreed with or amplified what Eddie was saying, but instead we get a very agitated Buck. Probably because he knows better than anyone else on that team how much a person can love and lose their mind with worry over a child that is like their own even though they’re not biologically related to each other…

~

Small moment, but Buck turns specifically to Eddie and even calls him by his name before he points up and indicates he wants to go upstairs, and Eddie’s all “yeah” and joins him without even thinking about it. It parallels the way their battlefield boyfriends bond started in 202, with Eddie leading back then and Buck following him to the higher floors of a collapsed building, no questions asked. I just love this reminder that three years down the line, this bond of theirs is still going so strong!

~

Right after Hen says to Denny (on the phone), “I can’t wait to see you,” we get a shot of Eddie approaching Buck, who turns to him, smiling wide. Then he teasingly says to Eddie, “I thought you’d be the first one out the door. Christopher know you’re coming?” which shows that Eddie’s earlier remark actually registered more than we might have initially thought, despite how on edge Buck was, providing further evidence that Eddie and Chris always preoccupy him, even more than he shows. Which is already quite a lot.

~

Thinking about 406, Eddie needed a pep talk from Bobby AND a series of events during their jinxed day, climaxing with the pretend-firefighter, on top of years of internalized expectations about what he’s supposed to do to provide his son with the right kind of family, in order to ask Ana out. But then comes the reverse, which is actually harder (as we see in the painful breakup scene), the reverse which goes against everything Eddie believes he should do for Chris, goes against the fact that Chris has already lost too many people he loves, against every nice moment he has had with this woman for almost a year... and yet he doesn’t need to be pushed into it by an alternative father figure or to have his job reflecting back to him some sudden realization. One chat with Buck, just thinking once about the pain that Buck had felt himself when he was in Ana’s position, and Eddie’s entire perspective changes enough that he’s ready to break up with Ana without any further prompting. On top of that, Eddie actually tells Buck he’s about to do that before he even talks to her, reassuring him that his words didn’t go unnoticed (just like Eddie’s words about Chris earlier in the ep didn’t go unheard). Buck is Eddie’s person, I repeat, in every way that counts, Buck is Eddie’s person. I swear, I feel like I should have a weekly “if this isn’t love, IDK what is” award…

~

Buck’s reaction to Eddie still being there at the end of this shift made me recall ep 316, when Buck had no one to celebrate with after a daring rescue. He was so alone, he ended up not going home at all. Now here he is, at the end of the blackout, thinking he’ll be alone, and pleasantly surprised to see Eddie is still there. Not only that, Eddie then confides in him that he’s listening to Buck and is going to break up with Ana. Then, we see Buck going home. This time, unlike at the end of 316, he’s not supposed to be alone. But… he is. Instead of a partner, all he has is a figure on his screen.

Now let’s be clear. This show is rooting for women who care greatly about their jobs. This little TV Taylor bit is shown in the same ep which makes it clear that Athena compromises nothing: she cares about her career, her kids, her husband and even her ex-husband and his new bf, she somehow juggles more than her fair share, and even when a deranged criminal tries to tell her that she can’t have it all, that she can either do her job or save her son, she still manages to do both. Plus, Buck himself has been shown to think highly of people’s dedication to their work. So that bit with seeing Taylor on the screen, while Buck sarcastically lets out a “honey, I’m home,” it’s not a criticism of Taylor, it’s more to show that something isn’t working between the two of them, because in this specific relationship, with its specific dynamics and conflicting schedules, he’s lonely. He’s not getting out of it what he needs and if in 316 we saw he didn’t want to be lonely, here we see that Taylor is not an easy fix to that. Just like Eddie felt he needed a “mother” for Chris, but his relationship with Ana wasn’t an easy fix to that either.

Oliver has stated in an interview before the premiere aired that he was glad the addition of Taylor meant Buck would now have someone to come home to. And then we’re literally shown the exact opposite: in 501 Taylor is present in body, but absent in terms of where her focus lies, in 502 she’s fully absent and in 503 her TV persona is present just long enough and in such a way as to stress her absence. There is an issue in Buck and Taylor’s relationship, and they’re not talking about it, just like Eddie and Ana didn’t up until this ep. I made a parallel gif post out of this moment of both men being lonely because it’s seriously chilling how much these two men’s love lives are interconnected. Not only that, to a great degree we see that if they were just a little less oblivious, they could have seen that they give each other exactly what they each need: Eddie wants a co-parent to Chris that he can also love and that’s exactly Buck, while Buck is desperately longing for a home and a family to belong to, which is what Eddie has been giving him all along. Just kiss already, you morons!

Speaking of the breakup scene! There’s so much to say about it, including how much I’m in awe that it played exactly into how we’ve been reading the Eddie and Ana relationship all along... We thought Eddie was mostly after this woman because on paper she was perfect to form a family with, and he literally tells her he had an “idea of us” and that it was Christopher’s love for her that dictated him staying in this relationship; we thought Ana might have already figured out that something was wrong between them and indeed, we were now shown she did through Eddie suggesting maybe she should go home (he could have just meant he’s tired and needs to rest after the blackout, but her reaction and attempt to stay anyway say everything about her knowing the breakup was coming, and then she later confirms that when she reveals she had figured out why Eddie was really suffering panic attacks). I’m so happy for Eddie that he finally did something for himself! This was a major step for Eddie, for once in his life choosing his happiness over his sense of duty. At the same time, I find it telling that Eddie trying to send Ana home, while she attempts to stay, creates yet one more connection between the (currently dysfunctional) love lives of Buddie: what tells us that Buck’s relationship isn’t exactly working out is how absent his gf is, while we can see that Eddie’s relationship is about to break down when we realize his gf is too present. See, the show could have had Eddie breaking up with Ana in 503 without bringing Buck into it at all. Why have us see Eddie tell Buck about it when we’re about to watch it play out on our screen shortly after? It could have been just the breakup scene and that’s it. No telling Buck, def no need for that extremely short bit with Buck’s loneliness at home. Instead, we get a sequence of scenes that through their themes are all tied together: Eddie tells Buck he’s breaking up with Ana, then a big hint that Buck’s unhappy with Taylor, and finally Eddie evidently unhappy with Ana and breaking up with her. The inclusion of Buck, the theme of their parallel unhappy relationships and the fact that the specific issues they’re having actually constitute mirror images of each other, it’s like the choices the show has made with this breakup state: “this isn’t just Eddie’s story. It’s Buck’s as well.” Which is, once more, interesting.

~~~ Thank you so much to the incredible @judsonryder​ for these stunning gifs! Also, you should check out her Buck in orange on his bed parallel, I loved that we both thought of it and IMO, it plays into everything pointed out in this meta and complements it.

Also thank you to all you lovelies for every like, reply, kind tag and of course reblog, I’m always so happy and humbled to see people enjoying these posts, it contributes so much to my motivation! xoxox

[fruitydiaz-archived]

i just think it's interesting that...

[Image Description: Four gifs primarily of Eddie Diaz from 9-1-1.

ID 1: A scene from season 4 episode 8, Breaking Point. Eddie talks to Ana over video call on his laptop after Christopher gets mad at him when he tells him that they're dating. Text on the gif reads: "(talking to Ana) I don't want you going anywhere."

ID 2: A scene from season 5 episode 3, Desperate Measures. Eddie looks at Ana, planning to break up with her after she's been staying with Christopher for a couple of days during the blackout. Text on the gif reads "(breaking up with Ana) Maybe you should go home first."

ID 3: A scene from season 4 episode 8, Breaking Point. Buck kneels in front of Christopher in his apartment after Christopher tells him that he's tired of people he loves leaving. Text on the gif reads "And until that happens, you still got me. 'Cause I'm not going anywhere."

ID 4: A scene from season 4 episode 14, Survivors. Eddie tells Buck about his will. Text on the gif says "It's in my will if I die, you become Christopher's legal guardian."

/end id]

[redhead-dead-redemption]

damn you look so happy now

She immediately turned around to find Christopher Diaz sitting at one of the café tables. He had grown so much since the last time she had seen him-- when he was sitting at his dining room table after the blackout and she had to say a goodbye she had seen coming. -or- Ana runs into the Buckley-Diaz family at a coffee shop 1.3k on ao3

Ana didn’t notice them right away. She’s not sure if they had just come in or if she was just distracted thinking about the back-to-back meetings she was set to endure today.

She had been standing in line at the coffee shop down the road from the school, waiting patiently to place her order, when the sound of familiar laughter cut through her thoughts. It had been years since she had heard that laugh, and while it was just the tiniest bit deeper and a little less loud, she would know it anywhere. 

She immediately turned around to find Christopher Diaz sitting at one of the café tables. He had grown so much since the last time she had seen him-- when he was sitting at his dining room table after the blackout and she had to say a goodbye she had seen coming.

Ana was expecting to see either Eddie or Carla close by. Instead, standing next to the table was Buck. She really didn’t know Buck all too well. All of their interactions had come on the heels of Eddie being shot by the sniper, and then they had mostly been in passing as they traded off caretaker duties. 

After all this time, Ana was not too big to admit that Buck had been a lifesaver during those months afterward. She was too small to support Eddie’s weight, which was necessary a lot of the time because he was nothing if not stubborn and hated being in one place for too long. So having Buck there to move him from room to room and hold him up in the shower had been a huge help. She also was not too big to finally admit that the emotion that formed in the pit of her stomach after that first week was jealousy.

She had watched the way that Buck moved through the Diaz’s lives. Not like her, a clear guest trying to fit herself into the life they already had, but like he had been a vital part of it for a long time now. The way he was in every corner of every facet of their very existence. From pictures hanging on the walls to the spare toothbrush that had been in the bathroom long before Eddie was shot.

Ana was still debating acknowledging the pair when she caught Buck’s eyes. Recognition flickered across his face but it was also clear he was hesitant about what to do. He rubbed the back of his neck with his right hand and raised his left hand in a half wave.

Before she could do anything in response the barista cleared his throat to let her know it was her turn to order. She turned to face him and ordered her latte with a faint blush coloring her cheeks. She quickly paid and moved over to where the orders came out. As she stood there, she resolved herself to go over and say hi. Buck had always been pleasant toward her and she did miss Christopher.

However, they beat her to it.

The faint clacking of Christopher’s crutches on the tiles was her only warning before she heard “Ana?”

She turned around and let her lips curve into a genuine smile.

“Christopher. It’s so good to see you. You’ve grown so much since the last time I saw you,” she replied cheerily. “And Buck.”

“Hi Ana,” Buck smiled sheepishly. He had a nervous energy about him and she wasn’t sure why exactly. She chalked it up simply to her being his best friend’s ex. “How have you been? Still assistant principal…ing?” He winced, clearly a bit flustered and embarrassed.

“I’ve been good, thanks. Yes, I’m still assistant principal, just at a new school,” she laughed lightly. “What about the two of you?”

Christopher immediately jumped in with stories of his last year of middle school and it was obvious Buck was happy to let him take over, watching him with the soft fondness Ana had grown used to seeing on Buck’s face when he was looking at a Diaz.

Ana listened intently but in the corner of her eye she watched Buck pull out his phone and begin typing. It was then that she saw the gold band on his ring finger. She remembered that Buck had been dating the red-headed reporter the last time she had seen him and filed it away to ask him about once Christopher was done with his stories.

The barista finally called Ana’s drink out and she excused herself to grab it from the counter. When she returned she looked at Buck and blew on her coffee as she asked, “I see you’re married. Is it to that reporter you had been dating?”

Buck’s entire face immediately flushed as he stuttered over his words. “A-actually, um, no. No, um--” but he was cut off by another very familiar voice.

“Babe! Sorry I’m late,” and Eddie Diaz, not seeing Ana, slid up to Buck’s side and planted a kiss on his cheek.

When Eddie did turn and notice Ana, a hundred emotions seemed to pass across his face, but she was too busy letting the pieces fall into place to really register it.

As she thought back it made perfect sense that Eddie would end up with Buck. The entire time they had dated it had felt like Eddie was just out of reach. Never fully in the moment-- or the relationship for that matter. Like he was standing behind a glass wall. How had she not realized that glass wall was Buck?

She watched Buck and Eddie exchange a look and could tell they were having an entire conversation with only their eyes. Just like they had always done.

She let them squirm for another second before she let herself smile. “Congratulations you two. How long have you been married?”

Buck’s shoulders relaxed and Eddie’s jaw untensed.

“Two years in May,” Eddie replied, wrapping an arm around Buck’s waist and grinning brighter than she had ever seen, as though he couldn’t help it.

“For their first anniversary Dad and I asked Buck to adopt me!” Christopher chimed in, clearly proud, causing Buck to somehow turn even redder.

“That’s so exciting,” she addressed Christopher then turned to look at the other two, “and I’m so happy for you both.”

A moment of silence fell between them until Buck spoke up. “Hey, Chris, it looks like someone stole our table. Why don’t you find another and save it. Dad and I will be right over.”

He nodded and said goodbye to Ana before turning to complete his mission.

Once Christopher was out of earshot, Eddie started speaking. “Ana--”

“Eddie,” she interrupted softly, “I mean it when I say I’m happy for you.” She blushed and looked down, “No snide comments or resentment this time.” Meeting his eyes again, she continued. “I know I wasn’t who you saw when you pictured a family. And I don’t blame you anymore. You already had a family.” She looked at Buck, then behind them at Christopher who had secured a table and was now playing on his phone. “I’m proud of you for figuring it out.”

At that Buck ducked his head while Eddie leveled her with a gentle look. “Thank you, Ana. I truly am sorry for how I treated you.”

She waved her hand dismissively. “Water under the bridge.” And at that moment her phone beeped, reminding her about the meeting she had in half an hour. “I really have to be going, but it was nice to see you all again.”

They exchanged goodbyes and Ana turned toward the door. When she reached it she paused for a moment to glance back, catching as Eddie kissed Buck softly, pulling away to look at him as though he had hung the stars. 

She walked out of the coffee shop with a smile on her face.

[outrunningthedark]

Do you think the Marisol actress posted in a dressing gown on purpose to get us all speculating like this? I mean, she could've posted in her own clothes with the script but she seems to be after the attention it'll bring. Maybe I'm just being cynical but it seems likely to me

I mean, I could see her posting in the robe as a middle finger to the fandom like "Not gone yet, so sorry." (And tbh...fandom had that coming with how "sure" they were about her getting fired) But I think the robe is actually gonna be part of the scene and it's probably the first thing she and Ryan shot today, hence taking a pic before she has to go to set. With Eddie not knowing how to be "casual" when it comes to dating - once he's in, he's all in - my guess would be that we're supposed to see Marisol "making herself at home" the way Ana did during the blackout (by looking after Chris [off screen] and baking lots of muffins to keep herself occupied).

[boredfanwrites]

Infinitesimal Shift

Am I jumping on the Buddie stuck in an elevator bandwagon during the blackout? Absolutely I am.

- Buck is walking Eddie down to his truck from the apartment when the blackout happens.

- They're two hours out of a 36-hour shift and Eddie wanted to shower before picking Chris up from his Abuela's.

- Buck's apartment was closer to the station - not to mention Eddie had met Buck before their shift and carpooled in the Jeep.

- Either way, they're stuck between the second and third floor when the blackout strikes.

- The elevator lurches loudly, metal grinds and the boys plaster themselves against the wall as it jolts to a stop.

- They're both on their phones in an instant, no signal and the electronic alarm obviously isn't working.

- 'I think my landlord said there was a failsafe alarm built into these that works off its own battery,' Buck says, trying to pull off the panel.

- Eddie hums, sitting down with his back against the wall of the elevator, watching the blonde finally manage to get behind the panel.

- Buck's right, of course. They hear a ringing bell.

- 'Hopefully, landlord hears that and calls dispatch.'

- 'Dispatch? Who also probably have no power?'

- 'I did not think that far ahead.'

- Buck takes a seat next to Eddie and they sit in silence for a few minutes.

- Buck keeps looking at Eddie, making sure he isn't panicking. They've both had their share of small spaces, but he knows Eddie isn't quite over the well.

- Eddie can feel Buck's staring and makes a point to not look at him. If he looks at Buck then he'll smile and Eddie will smile back and all the feelings he's been ignoring dealing with will come out.

- He fails.

- In less than 30 seconds after thinking it.

- 'What?'

- 'Just making sure you're ok.'

- Because of course Buck's first concern is Eddie's well-being.

- 'Are you?'

- 'Coping,' he laughs weakly. 'Did you know we're more likely to die in a shark attack than an elevator?'

- 'Surely that's the other way around?'

- 'Yeah, I think it might be. I was just trying to lighten the mood.'

- And wow, Eddie thinks, I'm such a jerk.

- He'd gotten used to bantering around with Buck. Sarcasm disguising his endless fondness for the younger man.

- Now isn't the time.

- 'I'm glad I decided to walk you down, so you're not in the elevator alone,' Buck starts rambling. 'Not that I wouldn't have come to check up on you if you had gone alone. I would've run out the second everything went dark. Maybe we should've taken the stairs. I mean I know it was a joke 'cause that was your first shift back and you're not quite in the same shape you were a couple months ago and...'

- It's adorable. It is. It's all Eddie can think and focus on.

- He knows Buck is doing it as a distraction from their situation but right now it's making him fall more in love with the man.

- He has to do something. Say something.

- 'Ana and I broke up.'

- Buck stops short. He stares at Eddie for a bit and the older man shrinks under his gaze.

- Neither say anything for a while and Buck tries the failsafe alarm again.

- Eddie stares at Buck's back, straining his eyes at the height. He's trying to telepathically get Buck to speak because he doesn't want to have to explain.

- He doesn't know how to.

- It was an inevitable event.

- 'Not long after I was shot, actually. Maybe two weeks?'

- Buck spins on his heel and stares at him.

- 'You have been single for a month and a half? And you didn't think to tell me until we got stuck in here?'

- 'You were with Taylor?' Eddie knows it's a weak defense.

- 'Why does that matter?!' And Buck sees right through it.

- 'I don't know. I just thought that maybe you'd want to focus on your own love life for once, instead of getting dragged in to the end of mine. Again.'

- Buck is silent again, judging Eddie from the corner. Feeling out what he should say next.

- Except he doesn't.

- Silence again.

- Eddie complains a lot about needing peace and quiet, but now that he has it, he's not sure he wants it.

- He'd give anything for one of Buck's signature smiles right now.

- That hasn't happened since the elevator first stopped and god how long has it even been.

- Eddie checks his phone. An hour. It's been an hour.

- His background of Chris and Buck smiling and building Lego together mocks him.

- He realizes he would never have made Ana his background and isn't that what couples do?

- 'Hey Buck? What's your cell background?'

- 'You and Chris tackling that pancake stack at Ellie's your last birthday?'

- 'Not Taylor?'

- 'Why would it be Taylor?'

- 'Because she's your girlfriend?'

- 'She's not.'

- Buck sounds exasperated. Like he's had to explain multiple times.

- Eddie guesses he has, back before they were a thing. But he told Eddie she kissed him after he was shot and that the two were going to try dating.

- 'I thought...'

- 'You thought wrong. I couldn't. Don't like her like that anymore.'

- 'Wow you sound like one of Chris' friends with a crush,' it comes out before Eddie can stop it.

- Hurt fills Buck's eyes and Eddie has to look away. He can't deal with being the reason for it.

- 'And if I told you there's someone I'm in love with but can't have? There's someone who actually thinks I'm worthy and deserving of love? But for two months I thought they were taken and I couldn't keep hurting myself anymore so I thought I would move on?'

- Eddie gulps. He can't. He can't be talking about Eddie. Life doesn't work that way. Not for him.

- 'Except I couldn't. It's too soon. I still love him and I can't imagine life without him and now that I know he's single it's all I can think about. Us. How well we work together. How beautiful we could be. Do I sound like an adult again?'

- Buck's glaring but it doesn't have as big of an effect when there are tears in his eyes.

- 'Evan.'

- His face softens. He's smiling at Eddie again.

- Granted, Eddie may have taken some liberties with calling Buck by his first name.

- It was only reserved for serious conversations. Times when Buck needs to listen and believe what was coming out of Eddie's mouth.

- 'I love you, too.'

- 'You do?'

- 'How could I not? I broke up with Ana because I was trying to deal with my feelings for you. I wasn't sure, you know? You're such a big part of my and Chris' life and I was trying to rationalize it as appreciation for you. You do so much for us and never ask for anything in return. But I was wrong. It's love. It's been love for at least a year and I was just too afraid to accept it.'

- Buck just smiles, reaching out a hand.

- Eddie takes it easily.

- He leans into Buck's side, pulling the other's arm around him.

- He knows that Buck is feeling for a heartbeat, Eddie's listening for Buck's too.

- They stay like that until the doors creak open and Albert's face pops between the gap.

- 'Hey, they're not dead!'

- The team gets them out pretty easily and they both agree to come in on shift to help with the fall out of the blackout. It's mostly going to be driving around in the rig, trying to spot problems as they occur.

- Buck walks Eddie to his truck and grabs the extra LAFD hoodie he keeps in there for emergencies.

- The same hoodie that Eddie has stolen on some of the harder nights when he was alone.

- He realizes just how entangled Buck had become in the Diaz's lives. Buck keeps a change of clothes in the truck, Eddie keeps a set of his own in the Jeep.

- Buck has his own drawer at Eddie's house, but Eddie doesn't have anything at Buck's.

- Buck spends more time living on Eddie's couch than either of them spends in the apartment.

- Buck belongs at home. With Chris. With Eddie.

- 'You know, if you moved in with me, you wouldn't get caught in an elevator in a blackout again,' Eddie tries.

- 'Yeah?'

- 'Yeah.'

- Buck moving into the Diaz residence was an inevitable event.

- Eddie was right - the next blackout, Buck didn't get stuck in an elevator. He was surrounded by candles and blankets, cuddled up with his boyfriend and son.

https://ko-fi.com/boredfanwrites