#Finally wrote a post where I have a reason to turn off reblogs....

[beyondthetemples-ooc]

I find myself single again, and I find myself thinking too many thoughts to figure out what they Mean for me.

This is less of a recording and more me trying to work out what I'm thinking and feeling. The best way to do that for me is by writing it down.

I've been mulling it over for hours. Almost 24 of them, in fact.

We were together a long time. It was 9 years and 7 months. I thought, shouldn't this hurt more? Shouldn't my whole world be rocked sideways? Shouldn't I feel a loss, a grief, a gaping void; shouldn't ten years of a relationship coming to an end give me at least five years of pain?

I had time to prepare, I think. There was awareness, and then there was concern, and then there was resignation. I think I resigned myself to this a long time ago. Maybe even before it was explicitly spoken, and I think having that time to prepare myself and come to terms with it immensely softened the blow.

I was able to talk with a couple of friends last night, and they helped me understand that it's okay to not have my heart rent to pieces over it.

But I'm still puzzling over why it both hurts, and doesn't.

I did cry. I cried before the news itself broke because I had a feeling long before it was discussed. I cried talking to my mother about it. I've cried long before it happened yesterday, because I knew something was different, something was wrong, but I didn't know how to approach it, to broach it, to voice my concerns, because they were all so frustratingly vague.

And truth be told, I was trying to cling to what was Good. We didn't get to see each other much; I didn't want to take precious time away from Enjoying Ourselves.

But I should have learned by now: My instincts are Good. Whether I want to be or not, I'm Aware of Other Peoples' Emotions. They affect me, I can read the feelings themselves, but I don't get any sort of telepathic confirmation or instinct for WHY people feel the way they do, I just Sense The Sensations. Some empaths get that explanation in tow. Lucky them.

I don't. I only know Why people feel what they feel around me when I've Asked about it. When they Talk about it.

It's so strange to think of myself as a wordsmith, and then look at the conversations that matter most, and look at how rarely I have them. My greatest strength is my words. Why don't I wield them?

Well, after thinking it over, setting aside the easy cop-out ("afraid of conflict", because I'm not), the fact that I didn't know how (there's no script for this), and the inability to separate what I'm feeling from myself versus what I'm feeling from someone else…

At the heart of it, I don't always KNOW what I'm feeling.

One of the things I've always related to NTT!Raven on was the inability to sort my feelings, to "feel my way through" them, to inspect them. I could introspect my reason and motivations and come up with a treasure trove of self-realizations, but to ask myself what I'm feeling emotionally is to dive into the ocean's depths and darkness with only a glowstick. I can't see much at all. I can only explore the smallest increments at a time, and will only ever have the briefest bit illuminated.

So over the past 36 or so hours, I've been wondering: Was love what I was feeling? Romantically inclined love, the stuff of storytales?

I think I was in love. I do now, yes.

And I think I liked it.

See, I had a tag specifically for My Significant Other. And I looked back through it today. Not all of the posts were S.O. exclusive; some of them WERE feelings I had for friends and my QPP and all the members of my found family, too.

But there were also posts weren't. Silly, delightful, mushy, sappy romantic dating-specific feelings that made me smile.

When my feelings are too strong, I can't put them to words. It's another paradox in my being such a self-aware writer. But I would see posts, and they would light up an array of fireworks in me, and I'd reblog them smiling like an idiot. Thinking, specifically, of him.

But here's the thing. I sensed the encroaching distance. The distance dulled my wits, dulled my feelings, sharpened my nerves.

I think, in my own anxiety, when things went dark and silent, when he went dark on me, I feared what it meant.

And, truthfully, I feared to lose him.

I can say with absolute certainty that the fact that he'll still be in my life, even if it's just as a friend (albeit a very good one), was an immense relief to me. I was worried the pulling away meant he'd break Everything off. That I had somehow become unbearable.

But no, just the romance. I don't think I'll be bitter, or angry. Wistful, maybe. Sometimes even mournful. Because this was the first time I've ever felt, with any degree of certainty, that I loved someone romantically.

(Besides, you know, fictional characters. But even then, I only toy with ideas and the occasional fantasy and mostly just channel my feelings through other people in the stories.)

With him, it was all me, my own feelings, me acting on them. And I do think it was all genuine, certainly so from my end.

And I did like being in a relationship. I liked being That Person to someone else. I loved being That Person for him.

I was happy to make extra effort to make him feel loved, valued, to put the Significant in Significant Other. I wanted to. I stretched my limits, tried new things, stepped out of my comfort zone because he made me want to. I enjoyed that, too.

But I also don't feel any sort of desperation, or even desire, to replace it. I don't want my life to be Married With Kids. For as long as I can remember, when I looked to adulthood, I saw myself living happily alone, or after seeing Teen Titans, living in a home surrounded by friends.

(Funny to be living that dream at long, long last, at age 30…)

But still, Something Hurt.

I worried, was I sad to be losing him as a partner, or to be losing the sense of love?

I think it's both, now. Feeling Loved on that level had left a long time ago. I guess maybe I was just holding onto hope that a spark would reignite. Because I did like it.

I was waiting. I was hoping. But time marched on, and that hope faded farther and farther into the horizon.

I don't know how to stop hoping, really. I can't let myself. I hold tight to the smallest modicum of faith, and while I remain a realist, weighing evidence of what will happen and what is the most likely outcome, I still privately think "Maybe… Maybe."

Until I'm faced with the fact that it is, indeed, over.

Like I was yesterday. Like I am now.

And I don't know what to do with myself. I'm not amidst a wreckage. I'm not floating, lost at sea. I'm not smoldering amidst ashes or beating myself into a pulp over it.

(Maybe, if it had happened six years ago, I would be. I would have blamed myself into oblivion. But we had a good talk over it. I had ample time to prepare, to read the signs, to come to terms with it. I know now that it's not anybody's fault if feelings fade, it just… happens sometimes.)

I'm just… resigned.

I think a friend was right yesterday, that mourning may come later.

Like I said, I don't have desperate hopes and dreams and desires for a romantic relationship.

But it was nice while it lasted.

And if it ever happens again, I wouldn't mind. But by all the gods, is anyone else going to have to work Hard to hold up to how that felt with him.

[satxnsupreme666]

Love in the darkest hour: Agatha Harkness x fem!reader x Rio Vidal

Masterlist

Requested by: @perfectartisanwerewolf

Summary: During Agatha´s trial, you are the one that gets possessed, Rio and Agatha get protective of you but you end up getting hurt, your girlfriends feel guilty and all of the wicthes get worried about you.

Warnings: Reader gets hurt, mention of wounds, broken bones, angst and fluff,  I think that´s it (Oh, and English is not my first language but I still try hard to check my own grammar)

Word count:  6k+

Author’s notes: In this story Alice does not die.

Hello, this was a requested story, and I wanted to write it before posting the final old stories I wrote three years ago, sorry that I took three days to write this and that is not longer, but I will be honest, I divide my time between doing nothing at all or doing everything at the same time (that means writing, reading, listening to some music, playing something, watching a movie etc.)

I hope this is what you were waiting for @perfectartisanwerewolf ♥️

I hope you like it! ♥️

If you enjoy, could you comment, like or reblog? it would help a lot really ♥️

Taglist: @midnight-lestrange  @eliscannotdance

“We’re ok” Agatha announced after all of you had had to fly away from the Salem seven, it had been close, really close, all of you really needed to be more careful, you still were worried about those entities trying to get Agatha, she had told you that you didn’t need to worry about, but still, you didn’t want that something happened to Agatha.

“No, we’re not, the entire Halloween aisle’s outside waiting for us” Maybe Jenn was right, could they be really outside?

“Well it doesn’t look like they can get in, does it? All we have to do is complete the trial and continue on before they can get us” Her sentence seemed to calm everyone a little bit, Jenn seemed to relax a little.

“My spell book, I can’t find it!” The teen started to look inside his little bag.

“Where’d you have it last time?” Lilia tried to reason with him so he could think clearly.

“Flying on a broom” The teen sounded sad, so you went towards him and put your hand on his shoulder, you felt bad for him, you wanted to reassure him somehow.

“Forget about it, you can take the training wheels off” The older witch said to him still standing in front of the door.

The teen looked at you and Lilia with a sad expression.

“Hey it’s alright, Agatha’s right, you don’t need it, all of those spells that were on your notebook are also there inside your head, you know all of them, so don’t worry alright?” He seemed to understand because he quickly smiled at you and nodded.

Agatha saw the interaction with a smile on her face, she loved how you were be able to make everyone feel better; you knew how to cheer someone up, you could not only heal physical wounds, but also wounds that were not visible and that only hurt people emotionally.

You sensed someone watching you and turned to look at the direction where you sensed the gaze on you, Agatha was looking at you from her place, she was staring at you with so much love, she winked at you and smiled back at her.

“Look at you!” The teen suddenly said to you, you looked back at him and then at your clothes, noticing the style of the clothes that you were wearing, it was kind of like the ones in the slasher movies you liked to watch.

Looking back at the teen in front of you, you noticed his shirt and shorts as well, glancing back at the other witches you realized they were wearing the same clothing style, same thing that had happened during the last trials, you still wondered when would be your trial and what theme would it be, would it have a creepy vibe? With maybe a haunted house? Or maybe an abandoned house in the middle of a forest? A hill? You were excited to find out.

“You look like one of the teens from those eighties and nineties slasher movies” You had to tell him, if not you knew the idea would never leave your mind.

He took a glance at his clothes and then at the surroundings, he could not deny that you were right, all of you looked like one the main characters of a slasher movie set in the 80’s or 90’s, he remembered something so suddenly that he had to take you by your shoulders, you giggled before he even had the chance to say what had crossed his mind.

“Oh my god, y/n I have the perfect playlist for this!” You grinned and saw how he moved his hands to his sides, as if he was trying to find something, he pursed his lips and looked back at you.

“Right, I forgot, I don’t have my phone either” He sounded a little bit annoyed but smiled at the end anyway.

“You don’t even have pockets remember” you were right, he should have remembered that first.

Rio had heard your comment about the slasher movies and turned herself to look at him, she smirked and walked closer to the two of you.

When she saw you from behind, she noticed that you were wearing clothes that were similar to hers and her eyes looked you up and down, when she got closer to you, she passed her arms around your waist and pulled you closer to her, you instinctively rested your head against her chest.

The teen noticed the smirk on Rio’s face which only made him squirm, Rio scared him, her deadly stare made him grimace.

“Hey, she is right, you do look like a character in a slasher movie from the 80’s, you would be the first character to die at the start of the movie” She said to him while staring without blinking and on top of that, the smirk had never disappeared from her face.

You couldn’t help but giggle at her comment, slightly you patted her chest, the teen swallowed hard and blinked several times trying to laugh awkwardly.

“That is not something nice to say Vidal, don’t mess with him, you scare him” You said to her with a pout on your face.

“She does not scare me” The teen replied back, but Rio turned her head hastily at him and bit into the air, as if she was warning him that she could bite him, the teen jumped slightly.

“Maybe just a little” The dark-haired boy commented being wary of Rio.

“Don’t mind her” Was what you said to him while looking at him with a smile on your face.

“I think you would be one of the final boys that make it to the end of the movie” The boy in front of you seemed to think about it and nodded, he seemed convinced that he would actually be a final girl, and you didn’t doubt it, he smiled fondly at you, and Rio started to caress your back.

“Who would you think I’ would be in a slasher movie set on the 80’s sweetheart?” Rio asked you rising her right eyebrow.

You brought your hand to your chin and acted as if you were in deep thought, but of course, you already had your answer.

“You would be the killer, the killer everyone suspects but cannot actually prove it” You said out lout and the teen gasped.

“She is right, you would be the killer” You had not noticed that the other witches had walked towards you, they were already near you and were looking at you with small smiles on their faces.

Even if they did not trust Agatha at all, and were a little bit scared of Rio because of her antics, they find you really adorable.

In their minds they still could not comprehend how someone as sweet as you, who only used magic to heal people, was with the other two witches.

They still did not understand what a healing witch whose magic was as pure as the meaning of white lilies was doing with Agatha Harkness, former user of the darkhold and with Rio, the witch who did not care about anything and seemed to be so scary, the same woman who agreed on being a “psycho” with a big smile on her face.

Even if they did not comprehend it at all, they could see the way the two witches acted around you, and the way they treated you, they were soft with you, you were the only one that could see and had the privilege to see that side of them, you felt really lucky.

Rio turned her head back at the teen and tilted her head slightly.

“If I was the killer, you would be my first victim, you would not even make it to the second act” Your girlfriend said as if she was just saying facts.

“That is not right Rio, I am pretty sure he would be one of the few that actually makes it to the end” Rio cackled and you tilted your head to give her a disapproving look.

“Ah, fine, he would make it to the end” This deep down made the teen jump internally, it made him feel excited that she had admitted that.

Rio gave you a playful pat on your shoulder.

“Let me look for Agatha, we don’t want her to cause more trouble do we?” She winked at you and left your side.

Alice then came to stand next to the teen, with a curious look on her face.

“Who would I be in a slasher movie?” She inquired looking excited to know your answer.

Examining her carefully you came to the only conclusion that seemed accurate for Alice.

“I think you would be the main character, the protagonist who is tortured and stalked by the killer, because she was the only one who escaped, you would be one of the original final girls, the final girl who fights back, like Laurie Strode on Halloween” Her eyebrows were risen and nodded her head in understanding.

“Yeah, she is totally right, you would be a total badass” The teen agreed with you. Alice beamed with happiness and pressed her hands together.

“You heard that?” Alice asked glancing at Jenn and Lilia.

“I am not really a fan of horror movies, so I really don’t know what you are talking about” Explained Jenn and Lilia nodded her head in a way of showing she felt the same.

Smiling at them you started to explain everything “It’s fine, basically, the horror or slasher movies tend to have a series of “rules” that characterize them, one thing for the slasher movies is for example, that there is a killer-“

“Sometimes there are two killers” The teen quickly said.

“Or sometime yes there are two killers, who usually start their murder spree killing different characters, and the final girl is the character who makes it to the end of the movie and defeats the villain” You finished your explanation.

“Who do you think Agatha would be?” The teen inquired.

“I would say that because of her personality traits she would be the killer that no one suspects of, I mean she is smart, charming” The four of them nodded in agreement.

“And who would you be?” The boy asked you again.

“I would be the character who dies at the start” You simply said, and they all started to discuss that in fact that would not be true.

“I think you would be the character that everyone is attached to, like the character who is friends with everyone and who also everyone tries to protect, you know? also I can see how you would be close to the final girl and you would get extra protection” The teen said and put a finger on his chin, looking at you, analyzing you, you only smiled at him and shook your head.

“Is this how people really looked at the time? I mean, the clothing style, the vibe, all of it?” You wondered out loud and jumped when you felt someone hugging you from behind, you felt the arms of Rio pulling you closer to her.

“Yes, people actually dressed up like this” Agatha said behind you, and all of you turned to look at her, she had kind of a disheveled look, he hair up in a ponytail and the oversized purple shirt fitted her amazingly.

“Whose trial is this?” Asked the teen while looking up at the ceiling.

Rio looked at the window in front of you and you did the same thing, the blood moon could be perfectly seen since your position.

“Agatha’s” answered the witch holding you from behind, you were a little bit worried, so you turned your head to look at Agatha, she saw your worried expression and gave you a reassuring smile, it was a tad scary for her, but with you and Rio there by her side, she knew the trial would be easily passed, or at least, that’s what she hoped.

Hearing Lilia’s explanation about the blood money and the believe of a misconception she mentioned, everyone turned around to look at their beeping watches in their wrists.

“The road wants us to Ouija” The teen showed all of you the board, and everyone started to gather closer, then he proceeded to read the rules.

“Number two, do not speak over each other” And all the witches began to speak over each other, clearly not realizing what they were doing.

Rio and you heard clearly when Agatha demanded to be shown the rules to see if it actually said that and you couldn’t help but share an amused look with her,

Rio shook her head smiling and sticking her tongue out a little, you tried to hide your laugh but you couldn’t, Agatha realized who was laughing and she looked at you, you were next to her left and Rio was next to you.

“What?” Agatha asked with feigned innocence, and you just shrugged your shoulders.

“What is so funny doll?” Agatha asked again and came closer to you to caress your hair, you unconsciously leant into her touch, and let her guide you to rest your head on her chest.

“I love the way you look in those clothes” She commented dangerously close to your ear witch a husky voice.

“Not the time for that” You replied amused, you had to focus on passing the trial.

“Shall we start?” Agatha seemed to tense and you saw the way she started to swallow, it was obvious that she was nervous, the teen sat on the floor and the other witches started to do the same forming a circle.

“Hey, are you alright?” You asked her while she squeezed your hands, you felt the way she pulled you closer to her, and you happily leant into her touch.

“I will be alright, don’t worry” She said to you in a whisper.

“Rio and I are here for you, you know?” You replied back at her and she nodded with a smile in her face.

“I know, thank you, I love you so much” Agatha said near your ear and she pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“Let’s get started” She said, you did not notice the way Agatha nodded at Rio, Rio understood and Agatha took your hand one more time to hand you to Rio, Agatha gave you one last squeeze and Rio took your hand in hers, the brown-eyed woman smiled reassuringly at Agatha and put her arm around your waist, she pushed you slightly and placed you next to her right, while Agatha sat next to you as well, leaving you in the middle of the two of them.

Everyone on the room put their hands on the board and waited for Agatha to start, when her hands got separated from the board you really got scared and quickly turned your head to look at Rio, she saw your worried expression and quickly mouthed a “Don´t worry” and smiled slightly at you.

“She´s scared” Commented Rio while you sighed in relief, for a moment you had thought your girlfriend had been possessed, Rio then patted the sit ordering Agatha to come and sit again.

“Do not do that, it was funny, but you got her scared” Rio said to Agatha and nodding towards you, while the blue-eyed woman sat back next to you and she gave you a shy smile.

“Sorry love, I thought it was funny” The older witch commented with an apologetical look.

Sighing you just shook your head and slightly bumped your shoulders against her.

“It alright, I just do not want anything to happen to you” Rio then looked back at her and nodded, she felt the same even if she found her little joke funny.

“Alright” The blue-eyed woman proceeded to place her hands on the board and everyone did the same, you were not going to lie, feeling the board moving so hard and faster made your heart beat in fear, you never had played it and it actually made you feel scared, but you knew you had to do it in order to pass the trial.

“Punish Agatha” Was what the board said and you quickly felt yourself getting tense, but before someone could actually understand what was happening you heard Agatha yelling at everyone to stop it and you were not sure what or how it happened but Agatha got her hands off the board and you panicked.

The scream that was all over the place, was so loud and it pierced you ears.

You saw her getting to the floor and she covered her ears just as everyone else did, but you were still worried of what could happen to your girlfriend since it was her trial, so you uncovered you ears not caring if the loud sound made your ears hurt and went to kneel next to Agatha to check if she was fine and did not have any type of physical wounds.

Agatha noticed your face contorted in pain, but her heart melted when she realized you were checking her to make sure she was not hurt, out of instinct she uncover her ears and made sure your ears were covered using her own hands, even in the middle of the chaos she still managed to show you how much she cared for you.

You were so lost in her eyes that you did not even notice when things calmed down, the scream could not be heard anymore and the things flying around the room were already scattered all over the floor.

“Is it over?” Your eyes stared to examine the room and the witches around you, getting closer and closer, what happened?

“Sorry y/n, but it seems like in order to pass this trial we have to punish Agatha” Jenn was looking right at Agatha, her gaze not darting somewhere else.

“There has to be another way” The teen said out loud and you agreed with him.

“Wait no! You cannot just decide that you are going to hurt her” You said to the three witches in front of you, your pleading eyes started to get glossy, they could not actually think that this was their way out right? Even if the ghost or whatever was wanted that, there had to be another way.

The teen looked horrified about what could happen, it was clearly they were not thinking clearly and with Rio walking faster towards the two of you, he panicked as well.

“I am sorry but you have to move” Jenn said with what you thought maybe, just maybe was guilty.

Alice was unsure, they were not actually going to do something to Agatha right? She looked at Lilia who had the same unsure look on her face.

Your pleading eyes with tears about to be shed made them feel unsure on what to do, they knew that you loved her and you would not be able to do anything to her, but what if that was what the ghost wanted them to do?

Before they got the time to get closer to you Rio appeared in front of the two of you and got her knife out of wherever she hid it, you were always amazed because whenever you saw her getting something out of her pockets or her clothes, you never really understood where she hid all of the things she carried with her.

“No one is touching Agatha, nor y/n” She said with a firm tone.

Agatha caressed your back and nodded at you, she gave you a reassuring smile and squeezed your hand.

“It´s alright, don´t worry, nothing is going to happen to me, ok” She pressed her forehead against you and you nodded, Agatha then stood up and came up behind Rio.

“Listen, we can talk about it and see what other options we have, let´s not get wild” She said trying to be reasonable, but then a sound was heard from your spot, and everyone turned to where the sound had come from.

“Where is she?” The teen asked with his eyes wide open, the witches started to turn themselves around looking for you.

“Sweetheart? Where are you?” Agatha asked out loud, and everyone started to move to different directions trying to see if they could catch a glimpse of where were you.

“We have to find her! She was right there and the next second she was not, how is that even possible?”  Your girlfriend Agatha started to panic, it was something weird when it came to her, being panicked was not a state she was used to, but when it come to you or Rio, she could not help but worry more than anything.

“Hey, look at me, we are going to find her, she could not have gotten too far” Rio reassured her and Agatha nodded, she was right, you could not have gotten too far.

They all gasped in unison when the lights went out.

“Hey, we were not going to actually hurt your girlfriend Agatha, just come out wherever you are” The potions which announced while she examined the room.

The teen started to look for something that they could use to get some light, and when he found a lamp, he looked pleased, now it would be easier to look for you.

“Hey, does anyone hear that” Lilia inquired and the teen felt something that had touched his shoulder, he visibly tensed and pointed the lamp towards the ceiling.

The scream that came after seeing you was inevitable, the other witches looked up as well and started to scream as well.

“Oh my god, what happened to her?” Jenn screamed and walked back until she hit one of the walls.

“Agatha get her out of the ceiling!” Alice yelled at her.

“I would if I had my powers!” Agatha yelled back; her face was full of worry.

“She is going to get hurt” Lillia declared while covering her mouth with her hand.

What they were not waiting, was that you jumped from the ceiling, landing with a hard thud against the floor.

“Is she hurt? Someone please check her!” Alice yelled again

“She is not y/n” The teen screamed when suddenly your body got up from the fall and started to contort your body, he squirmed and crawled back to try to protect himself from what he was seeing in front him.

“She is possessed for real” The teen was horrified, the look you had on your face was clearly not something he was expecting, he just hoped that neither of you would get hurt.

“Someone needs to grab her!” Someone in the back yelled, but due to everyone screaming the teen did not even recognize whose voice it was.

“No! wait, she could get hurt! No one is touching her!” Rio glanced menacingly.

“Then how can we help her?!” Agatha asked desperately, she came to place herself next to Rio, the two of them wanted to actually try and do something, maybe catch you and bring you to the center, but the way your body was contorting made them afraid that they could hurt you more.

“Oh my god guys, why are her bones sounding like that?” The teen screamed out of fear at the sound of your cracking bones, you were getting too close to him when suddenly your body for some seconds went limp and crashed against the floor, they were going to go and help you but after only some seconds your body stood up again crashing against the wall, Lilia was quick to get the power back and in a blink of an eye, you disappear again.

“Where is she? Where is she?” Rio looked several times around the room trying to see if you were again on the ceiling.

Before the withes could have more time to look for you, they saw something that looked like white fog forming in front of the stairs.

“That is a ghost, I hate ghosts” Rio said completely angered, Agatha was next to her looking at it with her brows furrowed, where had you gone?

What Agatha saw next made her gasp; her mother had materialized in front of them.

“Mother?” Agatha asked not believing what her eyes were watching.

A sound caught their attention and they looked up to see what was going upstairs, there you were, Agatha sighed in relief but after the worry could be gone, it took over her again, you were trying to stand up, grabbing your left arm with your right hand, you were crying, your sobs were loud enough for them to hear.

“What did you do to her?” Rio asked angrily taking a step forward, and Agatha did the same.

“You have to keep walking the witches´ road without her” The ghost of Evanora Harkness said to them.

Everyone gasped in shock.

“No way, we are not leaving her with you, she comes with us” Agatha said with a firm tone, never hesitating.

“Leave this girl with me, then you will be free to go” The ghost replied.

Lilia, Alice, Jenn and the teen looked at each other, they were not going to leave you there with her, and if they also needed to fight a ghost even if they did not how, they would do it.

“Taking one of the people I love the most?” Agatha laughed bitterly at the thought.

“There is no way we are leaving her with you!” Rio replied back at the ghost with a threatening tone in her voice.

“We are not letting her stay with her, you hear me? She is going to leave with us Agatha” Rio assured the blue-eyed woman.

“It is your time to pay for what you have done, you were born evil, you should not have a chance at love, I repeat, leave her with me, and you can go” Agatha clenched her jaw, Rio who was next to her was fuming, even if they wanted to do something, what could they do against a ghost?

You were crying, your whole body in pain, you were sure you were going to have bruises, you could not even lift your arm and you wondered if maybe it had been broken.

You heard everything Evanora said to her, that she was evil, but that was not true, Agatha was not evil, she was a misunderstood witch who did not have anyone to back her up and show her to control her powers, and even if you were in pain you would let your girlfriend know that her mother was not right.

“Do not listen to her Agatha, we know you are not evil, you are worthy of love” You managed to say between sobs, Agatha did not have time to answer to you, because her mother spoke again.

“I will not repeat myself” The ghost announced.

Agatha could not help the tears falling from her face, it was all her fault you were in pain, her own fault that you had been possessed by her mother, she was being punished for al the things she had done in the past, seeing you in so much pain was breaking he heart, Rio was so mad, it infuriated her seeing you and Agatha both in pain.

Before they could do something else, the ghost disappeared and they watch the way your body started to contort again, you came crawling down the stairs, the witches watched in horror.

“Leave her alone” The witch with the red strands on her hair pushed the teen, Agatha and Rio to the side, all of them saw Alice throwing her powers at you.

“Don´t hurt her!” Agatha shouted ready to go and push Alice away from you, but the teen and Rio stopped her, and watched they way your body return to your normal form, the paleness leaving your skin, and the white fog dissipated.

After some minutes Alice stopped, and you felt to the floor with a loud thud, you quickly started to groan in pain, trying to get up from the floor.

Agatha and Rio ran towards you to help you stand up.

“It hurts so much” You said to them still crying, Agatha could not take in how much pain you were, she did not want to hurt you more, but they needed to check your body.

“I know sweetheart, we know it hurt but we have to touch you to check your body alright?” Rio whispered to you in a reassuring way, it pained her too much too see you suffering.

They tried to help you stand up, but the pain in your body was too much, Agatha could see the bruises forming on your legs and on your arms, and seeing the way your arm had taken a really weird position, she knew it was broken.

“Baby, can you tell us where it hurts?” You heard Rio asking you, her voice sounded a little bit shaky.

“My arm, is what hurts the most” Yous said between sobs, you wanted the pain to stop, but you knew that even healing yourself was going to hurt a lot.

“I think… I think I can try to heal it but, but I am scared, it is going to hurt so much” Agatha turned her head to look at Rio, she closed her eyes, your sobs made her so hard to maintain a hard façade as always.

“Listen, we are here with you, we are not letting you go, you can take my hand and squeeze it as hard as you want, alright?” Agatha said before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

Rio placed herself next to Agatha, the blue-eyed woman placed you on her lap, and Rio put her hands on your back, caressing you up and down.

The witches standing in front of you, could not also take the sight, the teen had to look away, he could not stand seeing you crying from pain, and the way your arm was positioned, made him feel uneasy.

Lilia was holding Alice´s hand, watching with glossy eyes, they could not believe that you were the one that had got hurt, Jenn wanted to do something to help you ease the pain, but nothing came to her mind.

 You clung to Agatha´s shirt, and focused hard on the pain you were feeling, Rio never stopped running her hands up and down on your back, trying to soothe you and waiting the pain would stop.

“Everything will be alright, you are going to be fine, we love you so much” Agatha said into your ear, you were trembling and she hated so much that she could not anything.

After several minutes of sobbing harder, you felt you arm getting back to its normal position, your magic had worked, the powers accommodating the bones, putting them in their normal place, Agatha was caressing your legs with her free hands and noticed the bruises disappearing.

With one final breath, you felt yourself relaxing, the pain going away completely, and when Agatha and Rio were sure you were not hurting anymore, a door opened, all of you looked at it.

“We passed the trial” The teen said out loud, they were relieved you had stopped crying, but felt immensely guilty for not have been able to do anything to help you somehow.

 “We have to go sweetheart” She squeezed your shoulders lovingly, and the two of your grilfriends helped you to stand up.

Agatha quickly pulled you closer to her, her left hand on your waist, Rio put her hand on your shoulders, afraid of letting you walk alone.

They started to walk towards the door to get ready to leave and go back to the road.

“Alice” Agatha called for her when she started to walk in front of you, she turned quickly to look at you and to the other two witches in front of her.

“Thank you, for saving her” Agatha said with a soft look on her face, it was sincere, Agatha sounded sincere for the first time since the have arrived at the road, and smiled at her.

“It is alright, you do not have to thank me, I really wish I had done more” Alice gave the three of you an apologetically smile.

“You saved me” You replied at her.

“It was more than enough, Alice” Agatha let her know, Rio gave her a nod and the shorter witch smiled, it was a big smile, she turned herself around and started to walk back towards the door.

The three of you were the last standing in the room right in front of the door that would take you back to the road.

Agatha made you stop and you looked at her, with a frown on your face.

“Listen, I, I am sorry, it was my fault, because of me, because of what I have done in the past, you got hurt, and, none of us could do something to actually help you, I feel so-“ You abruptly interrupted her.

“Don´t blame yourself please, it was not your fault, please stop blaming yourself” You wiped her tears out of her face before talking again.

“I would never blame you for anything, I am fine, we are fine, we passed the trial, I am happy nothing happened to you” Before you could continue speaking, you felt her arm wrapping you in a hug, she passed her arms around your waist and you heard her cry, she loved you with her entire heart, and she could not stop blaming herself, what if something worse had happened to you?

Rio went to place herself next to Agatha and started to caress her back before looking at you.

“Hey, it´s alright, I would never, really never, let anyone hurt any of you, I would break the rules for you, so you can rest assure Agatha, that I won´t let anything else happen to her, alright?” Rio knew what to say, because you felt Agatha getting relaxed and she sighed.

“We are going to keep an eye on you, we are going to make sure noting else happens to you, we swear” Agatha commented while looking into your eyes, and Rio nodded quickly.

Smiling at them, the three of you started to walk again, ready to face whatever would be next, Agatha and Rio let you in first, and it made you laugh, you were not sure what was going to happen, or if something really worst was waiting for you outside, but what you were sure, was that with the two of your girlfriends taking care of you, you would be fine, and that was alright, you knew that if anything happened, Rio and Agatha would be there for you, ready to fight against anything that would even just threaten you, so you smiled pulled yourself closer to them when you stepped outside of that place, Agatha came next to you and again she pressed her hand on your waist, and Rio put her hand on your shoulder, they started to guide you to the group that was waiting for you in the middle of the road, and you smiled, you were going to be alright, no matter what.

When you got closer to the group, they heard the leaves been stepped on by someone and they quickly turned their head to look at you, they all had smiles on their faces.

You saw the way the teen turned his body completely towards you and he opened his arms, the closer you got the more you noticed his puffy eyes, when you arrived in front of him, you quickly opened your arms as well and let him engulf you in a hug.

“Thank god you are fine” He said while the two of you slightly swung due to the teen moving to the sides, you giggled and separated yourself to look at him.

“I am fine because Alice saved me” You replied to him and realized all of the witches had come closer and were standing really close to you and the teen hugging you.

You looked to your left to see Alice wiping quickly one tear that was running down her face, and tried to act as if she did not want to cry, she quickly cleared her throat and saw how Lilia and Jenn were smiling at her, Lilia put her hand on Alice´s shoulder and caressed it lovingly.

You chuckled and walked closer to Alice until you were standing next to her, she looked up from the floor to look at you and she shrugged her shoulders.

“No big deal, it was what anyone else would have done, so we´re cool-“ Before she could continue talking you hugged her, your arms around her shoulders.

“Thank you so much Alice, you really are a protection witch, please never doubt that, you are amazing” Your words had touched her heart and she hugged you more, she nodded and when you looked back at her face you noticed she had left the tears ran freely down her face.

“Thank you y/n” Alice replied back at you.

“I am sorry I, I just let you there, in pain, I, I should have done something else, try to look for something to ease the pain but-“ You quickly took Jenn´s hands on yours, you knew she was not really keen on physical contact so you tried to respect that about her.

“It´s alright, you don´t have to be sorry, it was something that was out of your hands, I am grateful that you were able to save him and stop the bleeding, and that´s more than enough, thank you about that, we did not have the time to thank you for that” You said to her smiling, Jenn nodded and caressed the back of your hand.

“Can I get a hug? Everyone seems to love your hugs, I wonder what is so special about them” You nodded laughing and got yourself close to her to hug her, she always smelled amazingly, her perfume seemed to never actually leave her.

“Oh darling, I am so happy you are fine, I cannot imagine what Agatha and Rio would have ended up doing if something happened to you” Lilia pulled you closer to her after you separated yourself from Jenn, and you let her hug you while caressing your back, Lilia then took your hands in hers, and looked straight into your eyes.

“You are so important to everyone, do not ever let yourself think you do not matter alright?” She said to you with a firm tone, yet it was soft at the same time, you could only nod and your eyes filled with tears.

Agatha and Rio looked at the scene in front of them, and Agatha could only think that no one was going to let you get hurt, if for any reason Rio and her were not able to actually protect you, they knew they still had a coven that would do anything to try and protect you as well.

“It looks that you will have to start being kinder to them” Rio said to her with a smirk but she actually meant it.

“Shut up” Agatha said while pushing her slightly in a playful way.

“But you are right, we are a coven after all” Agatha commented while the two of them got close to you and placed each one of them to your sides, both of their hands on your waist.

“We still have to keep on walking, let´s go” Agatha caressed your back again, and while everyone nodded and continued to walk, you couldn’t help the smile on your face from getting bigger, maybe this would be the time for Agatha to start trusting in others, apart from only trusting in you and Rio, but you would still have a lot of time In which you would be able to help Agatha with that, right now, you still had a road to face, and you had never felt so safe and ready to face whatever that would appear.

After all, you had your girlfriends to take care of you, and a whole coven that now, looked after each other.

[besidekick]

Earlier this morning I saw a post on my "for you" feed from someone presenting in-class written exams as the obvious, easy answer to student cheating via generative AI. I wrote this whole response to add on a reblog but I'm not actually eager to get into a potential argument with a stranger, so instead I'm posting it here and even if it gets no notes, that's fine.

This is not meant to be any kind of personal attack on people who use timed, written exams, but instead to engage in the time-honored practice of academic debate. These are just my two cents.

Some of my colleagues have turned to the same solution suggested—in-class blue book exams to combat AI and other fears of plagiarism. I personally really, really do not want that to become the norm for several reasons, despite the fact that I teach in a humanities field where the written exam has continued to be popular even after its drop-off in other areas of study (which has been happening since at least the 70s).

To begin with, timed, in-class exams present issues for accessibility. If you teach with exams, you will have had the experience of having to arrange alternate proctored exam times for students who need reasonable accommodations or who were ill the day of the test. The good news is that universities typically have systems in place to assist with this, but clearly it's not a one-size-fits all easy solution.

At least in the humanities, where these exams are most common, an in-class written exam does not replicate any real-world task students might reasonably expect to encounter. What pedagogical goal does the exam serve? Unless writing under pressure is one of your learning objectives, students (and your course in general) would benefit more from a different approach to evaluation.

High-stakes, in-class exams have been shown over and over again to not be a particularly effective measure of student learning and inherently prioritize memorization over actual application of learned skills and knowledge. This is not a new critique. From "A review of the benefits and drawbacks of high-stakes final examinations in higher education" (2023):

In the scholarly literature on assessment in higher education, questions relating to the pedagogical value of final examinations surface repeatedly. For example, John Biggs (2001, p. 234) argues that “invigilated examinations are hard to justify educationally” citing concerns about plagiarism and contract cheating as the leading “distorted priority” for their ongoing use. Scholars such as Gibbs (1992) and Ramsden (1992) warn against the reliability of examinations as a measurement of student learning, noting that questions assessing the recall of facts can often be answered without an understanding of the fundamental principles of the topic or a more complex understanding of the ways in which concepts are integrated in real-world scenarios. Such critiques are by no means new. Indeed, examinations have received criticism since their inception in Imperial China when they were widely criticised for their emphasis on rote memorisation, testing of skills rather than knowledge, the prevalence of cheating, and for cases of mental disorders that were anecdotally attributed to failing the high-pressured examinations (Kellaghan & Greaney, 2019). Similar criticisms were made of the written examinations introduced at Oxford and Cambridge in the nineteenth century which were perceived to dissuade originality through their focus on recall and to contribute to social stratification by benefiting the most privileged (Kellaghan & Greaney, 2019).

I don't want to go on too long. Whether you do in-class exams or don't is entirely your business, but I'd hate for everyone to start pretending they're a perfect solution to cheating (which students do on in-class tests too) or that this is the way we've always done it (not really true) and therefore is the best way forward.

[writeingdocs]

Untitled.

stray kids bangchan x fem reader genre: angst masterlist an: this is a short fic i wrote last year (that got quite a reaction from my friend haha) and posted on ao3 that i forgot to post here…  x

“Long time no see.” She greeted with a smile.

“Mhmm.” He returned the gesture as she sat across him. “I’m glad you could make it.”

“Shouldn’t I be the one saying that? Considering your busy schedule.”

He let out a chuckle.

“I’m surprised you even had time to invite me for lunch.” She continued.

“Well, we have a couple of extra days to roam around. And I would be lying if I say I didn’t plan to meet you here.” He said placing one hand on his nape. “But enough about me, how have you been?”

“I’m alright.” Her lips formed a line before continuing. “I got engaged, actually.”

“You’re getting married?” It didn’t come out as a question, much to his dismay.

“Yeah.” She answered briefly.

“Wow, I, uhm, congratulations!” He was at par with words.

“Thank you.” She smiled.

“I uh hope your fiancé’s not mad you were meeting your ex.” He tried to joke around.

“Nah, he’s cool. He knows you and your family’s very dear to me, way past us dating.”

“Well, that’s a relief. Guess you got yourself a good man.”

“Guess I did.”

“But he’s even luckier.”

“Yeah?”

“Any man would be the luckiest to have you by his side. I sure was back then.” He said with a sad smile.

“Well, I was lucky to have you by my side back then too.” She offered him a warm smile.

“Just not lucky enough for you to stay.” He said a bit bitterly.

“Chris—“

“Look, I’m not saying this to mess you up or anything, but I have to be honest why I asked to meet up. I wanted to know what happened…with us.”

“I thought you already knew.” She took a deep breath, trying to sum up the reason why their three year relationship ended almost two years ago.

“We both couldn’t let go of the things we wanted for ourselves. We came to a point where we can’t compromise anymore and so,“

“You left.” He finished for her.

“I left.” She nodded.

“And you didn’t come after me.”

His head shot up to look straight at her.

“I, I didn’t know you wanted me to…”

She shrugged.

“It was you who wanted to break up.” He didn’t mean to make it sound as if he’s blaming her.

“That’s right.” She nodded.

“But hey, it turned out to be for the better, didn’t it? Mr. Producer of the year.” She tried to make light of the conversation by grinning.

“Stray Kids is getting bigger and bigger, and I get to be the homemaker I’ve always dreamed of. It’s a win-win!” She exclaimed, a tinge of bittersweetness in her eyes albeit her high pitched voice.

But was it? Was it a win-win?

Because surely, Chan felt anything but a winner.

He felt quite the opposite actually—like he’s the most defeated man, even more so now that he has completely lost his chance to get her back.

But everything she had said was right. They both wanted two different things. And no matter how they tried, and they did try, they’re inevitably bound to choose what they want or each other. And they chose the former.

So with a breath, he gave her his most genuine smile. And she knew it was so.

“I’m happy for you. Truly.” He said before pulling away from their parting embrace.

“Thank you, Chris. And I’m proud of you, too. You’re doing well. Take it easy, yeah?” She patted his arm.

“Mmm, you too. Don’t go crazy on your wedding planner, okay?”

“Yah!” She laughed and faked scolded him for hinting her perfectionist persona.

“Send me an invite?” He said when they both calmed down.

“You’re not going to try and stop it, are you?” She raised a brow.

“Tempting—aw!”

She jokingly punched his arm.

“I’m kidding! But not about sending me an invite.”

“Fine, sure.”

“Take care, yeah?” He began walking backwards, still looking at her.

“You too.”

“Don’t trip—“

“Goodbye, Chris!” She cuts him off again and rolls her eyes.

“Just making sure.” He grinned before giving one final wave.

“Goodbye.”

And they parted ways after that. x thoughts? likes and reblogs are appreciated, thank you for reading!

[tiggymalvern]

Burn Notice - Sam and Elsa

I've decided to make this a new post instead of a reblog, since it didn't have much connection to all the other stuff we were talking about. @darkskywishes referred to Sam and Elsa getting a happy ending in the show, and I've actually been giving this a lot of thought over the last several days, because I'm splitting them up in the fic I'm writing right now, for plot reasons (I wrote some of the relevant scene this morning). But the more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that relationship's not going to survive too long after the series finale. So here's the plot of Burn Notice from Elsa's perspective. She's a successful businesswoman, owner of some serious Miami real estate. She meets this guy who's funny, charming, and canonically good in bed XD. He carries a couple of concealed weapons, but he's ex-miltary, he's got all the permits, and this is Florida, so unremarkable enough. He does some kind of freelance work that means he keeps odd hours, and sometimes he gets a phone call and takes off at a moment's notice, breaking their dinner plans. But hey, she's busy too, she understands how work sometimes eats into personal time, she owns an empire. It's actually pretty convenient - neither of them are clingy, neither of them place too many demands on the other's time, and it all works really well. After a while, it's working so well, it's not just casual fun any more, they're actually serious. He tells her a bit more about the freelance work he does with his friends - it's obvious he's not telling her everything, but she doesn't tell him all the details about her business either, it's just not that interesting. But they help out people who find themselves with problems, and it sounds like they're doing a good thing. She doesn't really get to meet these friends of his much, but she spends a lot of time running her business, so it's not a big deal. And occasionally the staff mention some odd people who turn up asking for her boyfriend, and whatever, his job is his business. And then suddenly her boyfriend and his friends are criminals? She's got the CIA and the FBI up in ALL her shit, telling her that they're murderers and kidnappers and god knows what else, and her boyfriend's telling her the whole thing's some huge misunderstanding. He tells her how much he loves her, that he and his friends need to sneak out of the US for a while, but he'll be back as soon as they've got everything straightened out. And she knows he's a decent guy, not what the cops are telling her, so she believes him. A month or two later, he does come back, and in between he got shot??? And he can't really explain much of it; he says some of it's classified and the CIA made him sign a gag order, but everything's been sorted. The CIA and the FBI seem to be leaving them both alone now, so that sounds like it's true, and she loves him and trusts him and everything goes back to the way it was. Until a year later, when the exact same thing happens again. Her boyfriend and his friends are all over the TV as the subjects of a manhunt, this time as suspected terrorists. He disappears, and then re-emerges a few days or weeks later (the show timeline's unclear there, but my guess would be closer to weeks), once again saying it was all a big misunderstanding and everything's fine now. No, he couldnt call, he was in jail. No, not the kind of jail where people get to have lawyers and visitors, more the Guantanamo kind of jail. But this second time around it sounds a whole lot less convincing, doesn't it? How could the same unfortunate big misunderstanding happen to the same people twice??? And absolutely nothing has changed. He's still keeping unusual hours, still getting phone calls that require him to drop everything and run. He still has odd friends and acquaintances, though he has less of them now because some of them are DEAD. Does she stay with him? Does she really? Does he still seem as funny and charming as when they first met? Add to that the damage to her business and her professional reputation, when her colleagues and partners are whispering behind her back about how she's shacked up with that terrorist dude from the news. And the non-zero possibility that at some point, after yet another argument when she's asking her boyfriend what the hell he's actually doing and how dangerous is it, is he going to get shot again or killed? That after one too many of those, when she's upset and wavering over whether or not to kick him out, her son might give her the full details about the time he and her boyfriend stole a drug lord's ecstasy lab truck and drove it to Miami while being shot at... Sorry. I just can't believe Sam and Elsa are going the distance. Yes, it was Elsa who told Sam not to abandon his friends the first time they were all being hunted, but that was the FIRST time. She didn't expect it to become a regular thing. She's a businesswoman, not a martyr. And she did NOT sign up for this to be the rest of her life.

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

If DCLA characters had Tumblr part 6 🕺🏼

🤌🏻 luz-camara-y-accion Follow

So my dad left before I was born. Apparently the second my mom told him she was pregnant with me, he just ran off.

Anyway to this day I am wondering… what if he’s still out there? What if he found another woman and had another child?

What I am saying is that, imagine if I suddenly bump into someone who almost looks like me, is also from Italy and then turns out to be my half-sibling or something.

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Would be so wild lol

That reminds me, when I was smaller I randomly got the feeling I had an older brother or something. But I feel like it was just an ”only child wishing they had siblings” thing.

3 notes

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

I always have such weird dreams. I need to write them down more.

🏍️ entre-dos-mundos Follow

Did you dream about me? 😉

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

You wish 😉

🥸 jeremias-realperson Follow

Hey! This website has guidelines and you’re breaking them!

I’m giving you a warning before reporting you.

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

And I’m giving you another warning before I block you, weirdo who reblogs my posts

🥸 jeremias-realperson Follow

You can’t! I have not found it, but I am sure there is a rule to not block people without reason. Blocking someone without reason is against the law!

12 notes

🥸 jeremias-realperson Follow

Hello. There is something weird with Tumblr. I am trying to click on some blogs and it says they are ”ghost blogs” or that they ”do not exist”. But they clearly do exist! Is something wrong with the system?

🙍🏻‍♂️ my-name-is-tomas Follow

I’m having the same issue 😢

2 notes

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Did anyone elses’ guardian give them ”the talk” by using flower metaphors? I’m trying to figure out how (not) normal my childhood was, and if anyone else can never see daisys the same way ever again.

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Mine did not give me any. Rather she just expected me to know. I got to learn by reading and hearing girls talk in school.

Also when I got my period and told her, she sighed and scolded me for being so ”late” 🤨 (I was 13 how is that late)

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Haha. Uh.

So I got the talk when I was 12. Age I got my period? 11.

Did not know what it was. Thought I did something wrong. Refused to tell her because ”she would never understand and probably scold me for not being careful” or something.

She found out on her own, probably because she noticed a stain somewhere, and I was almost crying, begging her to not be mad and she was like ”😐 I knew this would happen, so I don’t see a reason to be mad. I just didn’t know it would happen so soon 😐”. She then gave me pads and told me to use them whenever this happened. She also gave me a small smile and stroked my hair slowly. Then she said ”I should have known you were an early bloomer… 🙂”

I had no idea what that meant until a YEAR later when when she finally gave me the talk. And then it was all in metaphors of flowers.

#what was up with her and flowers seriously

11 notes

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Most delusional crushes you’ve had?

I’ll start: Someone on the internet who wrote nice posts and who I was so obsessed with meeting, to the point where I ran around trying to search for her whenever I heard she was nearby.

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

Omg same

📸 felicityfornow Follow

… you’re welcome?

15 notes

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

People tell me so many dirty jokes that at this point I’m assuming that everything is a dirty joke when it not even is.

📸 felicityfornow Follow

I’m sorry, I feel like this is my fault…

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

Was that a dirty joke?

#seriously I need to know #I can’t keep track of what is and what isn’t

40 notes

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Hey! I have a brand new fic I posted today!

Check it out! 💫

Posting every saturday🪐

2 notes

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

It's so fun how easy I could find my friends here 😂 Half of them didn't even have to say they had tumblr, I found them anyway.

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Wish I could say the same, but people refuse to tell me and I can't seem to figure it out.

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Strawberry boy when he can't figure out who runs the tumblr blog even with clear signs of who it might be:

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Hey! Only Luna can call me that!

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

If I'm the only one allowed, why did you name your blog that?

9 notes

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

So like. I dream about the future and stuff.

I dreamed that I was pregnant.

And like. That may happen at some point. In the future. But my dreams that predict the future are often stuff that happens basically the next day.

Not that it… would make sense for me to be pregnant right now…

Or, well…

…

I’m buying a test.

#vilu gets real #SO glad my dad is not on Tumblr he would freak if he saw this

1 note

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

I usually joke about myself being the most distracted person in the world, but at times it feels like everyone looks down on me for it. I know that is not the case, but sometimes I feel like it.

Because I am like that, I easily forget stuff, and having to have people remind me, it sometimes feels like people don’t take me as seriously? Like they see me more as a child than someone their age. I mean, sometimes I feel like my friends act like I am their baby sister just tagging along and ”not knowing as much”. And I know they don’t actually see me like that. I know that’s just how I feel. But… ugh. I wish I could concentrate more on things, I wish I could not forget stuff so easily. I wish I could keep my mind focused on what people want me to focus on, and yet my brain does not let me.

I wish I didn’t feel like I somehow missed a manual on how you’re supposed to act in life. Why does everyone know how to behave in social situations except for me?

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Hey Luna? I know you tagged this with ”may delete later” and all that, but I need to assure you, yes, that is only in your head about us seeing you as ”someone younger who does not know as much”. We do not see you like that!

In all honestly… we’re all on the same page when it comes to ”maturity” I would say. Trust me when I say, I can be very distracted too. You just have not seen it yet, but trust me.

I guess I can sort of relate to ”not knowing how to act in social situations”, but I guess when there’s more of us, we act in our own way that we then percieve as ”normal” but then we meet someone else who never would act that way.

Anyway, we love you Luna, and you’re not alone with thoughts like this 💜

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

Luna I need you to know, if you ever feel ”childish”, just know I am way more childish than you.

Seriously, I’ve been in situations where I go out of them feeling like I acted like a toddler and everyone else was so mature and cool in comparison.

You should just KNOW about all the antics I’ve had that you haven’t witnessed. If there is someone who does not know how to act in social situations it’s me.

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

Luna sometimes I’ve felt like I am younger than YOU. Seriously. I don’t know how anyone has ever seen me as mature 🤣

And I may joke that you’re distracted, but I never look down on you for it 🩵 Because you’re also at the same time very focused on what you want, when you get an idea there is no stopping you! And I admire that so much about you 💖

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

Oh my gosh, guys… I really was about to go delete my vent post because I made it under such a spontaneous rush and then it felt weird to just write all of that.

But I feel really happy by your messages, and that I am not alone 😅 💕💕

I still wish I wasn’t distracted in the way I am, though.

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

HELP, it’s so wild finding this post now like 4 years later?

I’m happy I never feel that insecure about why I can be so distracted and all over the place anymore. Because I did look into it and I did get an explanation 👏🏼 And honestly I really should have done that earlier because 😅😅 there was some CLEAR signs.

But it did feel validating hearing people had similar thoughts as me, especially about feeling like you’re more ”childish” than what society expects you to be.

60 notes

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

People are asking why my ”childhood rival” is my childhood rival and if we are still rivals:

Basically I was born 2 days before her and, while I of course do not remember this, I have been told we met the first time in the hospital when I came for my 48 hour checkup. I really imagine newborn me seeing her screaming her lungs out after just being born and thinking ”what a drama queen”.

Idk, we just provoked each other by existing. There is a picture of us on a playdate when we were around 9 months old, and I chew on her arm. I guess the adults thought this was cute and that we played, but I am sure that I was attacking her.

From the memories I do have, we have had epic fights like on the christmas party where we caused a mayhem, we fell down from a tree together during a wrestle game, we poked and teased each other so much at school that an assigned teacher had to be a guard at recess so that we would not interact… and then there was all the things that happened when we were teens…

Is she still my rival? Yeah. But I guess it’s ”playful teasing” now more than actively hating her.

If I hated her, I’d ignore her. And we have never been able to ignore each other.

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Shut up you nut 💜

[oraclekleo]

I want to preface this message by saying that I accidentally sent this WHOLE THING to ANOTHER READER I DON’T EVEN FOLLOW and now I’m mortified 💀 For some reason I thought of taking a screenshot of what I wrote and I’m extremely grateful to past me bc I would’ve thrown myself out of the window if I had to type it again 🌚

…

Ok Kleo, it's finally time for the compatibility game feedback I'm so sorry for taking so long 😭 you posted it right before uni started and then I got sucked down the school and work waterslide and kinda procrastinated it🥺

As I told you the other day, when you posted about not getting a lot of feedback and reblogs, I feel kinda "morally ambiguous" about mature-themed celebrity content, just because I think I'd feel weird if I found random sexual content about me online, posted publicly (especially if it was very different from who I really am), but I don't want to be a hypocrite because I did ask you for this reading myself 😬

So... All in all, I think you're quite respectful with the way you conduct and write your readings. I get a more "for research purposes" vibe from them, as opposed to what I've seen in other blogs I've come across, that are outright objectifying and disrespectful in my opinion. So I guess I do feel comfortable with your content? This is just me trying to take a moral stance, so l'm not trying to "give my approval" or anything. I'm just a person who thinks things through a lot Imao

Now about the reading itself...

Right off the bat you had me laughing because what do you mean you "didn't intend for the reading to be very 18+ but it turned out that way"?? 💀😭

Like was it me? Is that bad?? I'm sorry??? 🙃

The second thing that caught my eye were the cards themselves... I think I've told you before, you have so many interesting, beautiful decks and I love how they (in my opinion, at least), give the readings such a diverse, particular vibe. Is it hard to work with many different decks? Energy-wise I mean...

I think, for the most part, your reading actually resonated? (Is it weird to say it resonates if it's a hypothetical reading about my interactions with a person I don't know personally? 😂)

I remember reading a while ago that Yeonjun could be an Aries rising, so if I compare what you said with the Astro synastry between us, it does totally check out! And our charts would be super similar too, since l'm also a Virgo sun with Aries rising

Power couple? My Jupiter would be on his MC, and his Jupiter on my 2H. We both have libra mercuries and our Vertex are conjunct, so... I smell ✨success✨

Deep soul exploration? Based on my only, but tee long relationship, I know I crave that deep emotional intimacy, getting to know each other's darkest bits and learning to love them, and all that dramatic shit Imao. He has a Scorpio moon that would be in my 8H, his Chiron conjunct my Pluto in his 8H and our suns are conjunct too, so yeah I could see the vision.

Do I see him being devoted and submissive? Yes, but personally I think it would be more of an "equivalent exchange" in this personal dynamic, where we'd both be equally devoted and submissive to each other. I see him listening to me a lot, because I'm on the mature, rational side and he gives me "mommy issues” vibes, but I'd honestly wear myself to the bone to make my loved ones happy, so there's that lol

Astrologically speaking, I have my moon, Venus and mars in Leo 5H, and he has Leo Venus 5H too so that would "confirm" the love language and relationship dynamics, but also hints to a lot of attraction, which relates to the sexual chemistry bit of your reading.

I can say you nailed the neck and voice thing for sure, at least on my side... My neck is definitely one of my weak spots, and I like guys being "vocal" so much you can't imagine 😩 12/10 for sure

Also foreplay is key for me, so much that I can't even think of it as "fore"play, it's an essential part of the whole thing, not just the appetizer..

Now, as of now I can't really see myself being dominant enough to enjoy restraining a guy per se, but l'lI like it if I know he likes it, and even more if i know he'll "get back" to me later lol like that would be the end goal maybe?

To summarize, it was very interesting to read, like I'm amazed at how you can get information like that from the cards! And it was damn accurate too.

Again, sorry for taking so long but you've probably realized by now that I tend to write A LOT so sometimes I feel overwhelmed when thinking of writing feedback because I know it will take me a while to write the whole thing

(Also if you think it's just TOO long please tell me so I can try to make it shorter next time 😂)

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR DOING THIS READING FOR ME (and all the other reading as well)… You’re really talented, and definitely have a gift for tarot 🥹

Bye!🥰

Hello!

Don't worry at all. As I said, I don't care about time, I'm always happy to receive feedback. 💖💖💖

Honestly, I don't understand the fuss with NSFW tarot readings. Do people have the same issues with smut fics? Because it's basically the same. Only in tarot readings you base your fantasy on what you interpret from the cards but it's still a work of fiction. Tarot isn't a science. What's written in tarot readings aren't objective facts, they are notions, impressions and interpretations.

Also, I do these readings about celebrities because they have public status. When you become a celebrity you deliberately give a large portion of your privacy up. Not all of it, but much more than a regular non-celeb person. This is not violating their privacy. Fanfics also don't violate their privacy. These are merely fantasies shared. If you are dellusional and want to take these works of fiction as a fact, you will do so no matter whether it's NSFW or not and it's harmful and the only solution is to educate the delusional person not to censor free speech and creative content.

I know it's difficule to take moral stand here but this is how I see it and people are free to disagree with me and even unfollow me if they wish so.

But to like and read a NSFW content but be ashamed for liking it is a road to hell. And it's weak and pretentious. I know it might sound unfair but a mentally healthy and mature person does not feel ashamed for what they like as long as it doesn't break the law. That's my personal opinion here and it might be a bit too strong for more sensitive individuals but once they grow up they will learn. 😊

As for your actual feedback, I'm not big on astrology so... I assume you studied it well and I take your word for it 😂

I like to use very diverse decks of cards because human nature is very diverse, too. Most people aren't just one dimensional characters. It's not difficult for me to read the different energy of the cards as I have picked them myself, I had a reason to do so, I followed my intuition. I have a connection with my decks and I acknowledge and cherish the fact that each one of them has a different 'personality'.

I have mentioned it before that even when it does sound like it resonates, the tarot readings are basically works of fiction as they are not based in research or hard facts but they are based in personal interpretations of symbolics. I think it's the basic mistake many people make, that they take tarot readings as facts. It's not like that. But people tend to follow patterns and if I hit the right pattern in the reading it will sound to you like it resonates with you. Tarot is NOT magic. My intuition picks information about you from your feedbacks and other interactions with me and the cards only help me to give sense to all those random pieces of information in my brain. It's not witchcraft, it's psychoanalysis. I understand why many people get confused here, though 😂

Once again, no need to apologize, I understand that life gets in the way and everyone needs time to think things through, especially to respond in such a detail 😀

I love your long feedbacks. You don't have to cut them short for me. 😂

Thank you so much for taking time to give your opinion on the reading! It means a lot to me 💖💖💖💖

Kleo 🦄

[lastthroes]

@aihoshiino (i wrote too much so i'll reblog instead, hope you don't mind!)

oh yeah i wrote that in a rush, so maybe i didn't make it as clear as i thought i was doing, but i do agree with you that caution is needed. some of it it's either different questions or making way too many assumptions (and i definitely avoided the fandom enough due to all the waifu/ship warring, that i don't really know who's trustable as a source). would be nice to hear what was actually said and not just the interpreter input, but i don't think it'll be possible. the hypothetical spinoff answer for example needs more context: it'd be very different if mengo answered with a simple "want to draw more aqua and ruby" (which would even include them just being happy kids around the time ai's still alive), and to explicitly refer to it as wanting to make a love story

... not that i think a spin-off is happening regardless, not after i've seen how vicious some of the ending's reception was from japanese fandom on twitter 😅

but yeah, i've already seen this being completely re-interpreted, i mentioned some of it in a different post. i also saw people claiming that this means if aqua lived they'd be together, completely disregarding the fact that aqua never talked or thought about ruby in a way that wasn't familiar/platonic, and that everything he might've told sarina was done in the context of her being a kid with terminal cancer: i always saw it just like people with dementia are entertained if they somehow believe that someone who passed is still alive and ask about them, and nothing else. because why make sarina upset by downright rejecting the marriage idea, or start avoiding her/not visit her anymore? why make her last moments miserable when she's already been abandoned by her family and let to die alone? it just doesn't suit what we know of goro, and even less with the level of guilt the death caused him

it's clear from these statements that the ship was not sailing because, as i said in the other post, if aqua/ruby really was the endgoal the manga would have been shaped by that choice. titles like usagi drop had to go for the timeskip route to actually pave the way for the ending (which also went for the 'not blood related' reveal). in onk? there are no raised flags in onk for an aqua/ruby ending to actually make sense and be congruent with what we saw. hell, "exploring the relationship" still doesn't mean to make it endgame (we already got this with akane's example after all), it may very well be about addressing ruby's feelings at all and have her properly turned down and with this rejection being what finally makes her move on to be "just ruby": i actually remember a point in the early manga before she learned aqua was goro reincarnated in where she was disgusted at the thought of incest. what changed between that moment, and learning aqua was goro all along, then talking to herself in front of the mirror that she was already 16 so she could marry her sensei? especially because she should know that's not possible. we have no answer to any of those questions, because there was never an actual intention of going there. that's what i got from this q&a, at least

(and i think a key point that lots of people refused to see is that at those times ruby was not seeing aqua: she was seeing goro. it's not a positive thing that she's overlaying the most idealized crush possible upon the brother she actually grew up with and knows: she was twelve when she had this crush, one she developed simply because goro was kind to her. she didn't actually know him as a person beyond the nice doctor persona, and she's lived longer as ruby than she did as sarina. there are really so many reasons why i couldn't see the ship sailing, this being one of those. i feel bad sometimes for bursting the bubbles, but the manga really didn't set anything up for this kind of thing)

i checked again and it seems there's no new reports yet in their page, but i trust rp2's tweeting the most here even if there's still a "she said he said" component: i can see mengo having said she wants to draw spicy twincest considering her previous works. some cover illustrations already looked non-canon, like it was just her own fantasies. i also can imagine aka not wanting to make the manga controversial and polemic (even less when after using a rl tragedy for akane's arc, it blew up on him as it did), which was the context for one of the answers about not doing the twincest, from what i gathered. my crosspost was really about that in the end: external influence was already obvious to me because of the way the story was wrapped up, with ruby literally looking at the reader and saying "wow this industry is so fun!1!!" and getting sold to us by the last chapters as some kind of... improved ai?, as if the start of the series didn't highlight the total opposite through ai's character, and not just because of the tragedy of her death: it's not only with the conflict of aqua vs goro and ruby vs sarina that i feel the series popularity became detrimental to it

it's fine not to commit to the twincest as an endgame (or to any romance, for that matter) but, after having opened that pandora box, backpedaling and not even addressing it because of a what-if polemic ended up negatively impacting the rest of the manga. though i already had many gripes with how the story was unfolding before it (among other reasons because it felt to me like aka could NOT write a story or relationships without turning it into an harem. ngl, going from the initial concept of ai being an idol hiding her kids, then the revenge for her death, i found the fact that everyone had to romantically orbit around aqua and the amount of chapters spent on it just to not even tie it in the end very tiresome), i think i'm not the only one who noticed the big drop in writing quality after ch143, and not just because the story shrugged the conflict of their past lives under the carpet and called it a day. really, it's so ridiculous that suddenly they can no longer interact together, yet the manga still ends wanting to make you please believe that ruby's the whole reason for aqua to have been reincarnated at all and "wdym, who is ai hoshino?". it's really one of the things that upset me most of the latter part, the fact that suddenly they weren't allowed to be siblings or former doctor and patient anymore

of course i could still be wrong in my hypothesis, this is the kind of thing that you can never truly know, and maybe reading the full thing makes me feel differently. but yeah, i posted it because it kinda settled it for me that the twincest scenes were just a bone thrown to mengo and nothing else. that there was never an actual intent of "canonizing" aquaruby, or even addressing ruby's feelings, outside of the shallow baiting that animanga fans (general here) keep falling for year after year. ch143 gets blatantly ignored after the most shameless excuse for a kiss (doubles exist! camera angles exist!), and the way aqua and ruby basically stop interacting altogether after that really reeked of something going on under the scenes to me, either editorial meddling or the author seeing it as a mistake and going too far. whether it's self-censorship or otherwise, in the end the result's the same. i've seen this happening so many times, not only with incest themes but also with queerness, including recent anime: the censorship requiem of the rose king suffered was both ridiculous and atrocious, going as far as ruining the manga's story, and we got confirmation from staff of the meddling that happened with yuri on ice back in its time. so basically, been there done that. the only manga with incest that comes to my mind published in recent years that actually committed is ani to imouto no shitai koto, which was also as interesting to read as watching paint dry - so interesting that i stopped reading somewhere after the first chapters. and the fact that most of it is porn just makes me think it got away with it because the change in demography makes the bill not apply

the spin-off question did make me curious, because it looks like mengo can't actually do anything without aka's approval. makes me wonder if that includes derivative work, because she's the official artist. a friend reminded me yesterday that one of the artists for the xillia 2 anthology was also doing incest doujinshi of it on the side, but bandai namco has always been lax enough about that kind of thing, at least with the tales ip (lax enough that it's been a bit frustrating to be turned down by japanese artists seeking commissions due to fear, because there's just no past incident that grants that reaction)

several people reporting from the q&a section that aka and mengo have been holding during an event in barcelona, spain. it's mostly random tweeting now, but like it was reported already yesterday, news site reports should proceed shortly

this basically re-confirms my suspicions that aka was the one freaking out about the possibilities of getting the manga affected by that one bill that was amended back in 2010, in particular after the kiss. after all, other manga that also dared to engage with themes of incest, like aki sora, already suffered the impact, and i remember siscon ani to brocon imouto coming up with a whole warning about how they did not condone the character's actions. even oreimo, which every normie and their mother cried about, ended its story after the bill was put into effect, and you can tell by how it settled for an ambiguous enough resolution

i can't say i shipped aquruby, if anything because as i said several times in the past, i knew it'd never happen (both because of the bill and because it didn't suit the story as it was being told) and i'm old enough to not be satisfied with shallow bait and breadcrumbs: i have talked before about how i dislike works of the kind of eromanga sensei, that want to scratch at the topic but also not really. i'm not really surprised about this: in the end, any manga that decides to tackle sibling incest in recent years needs to bullshit its way out of it with a non-blood related reveal, "only cousins", they are actually step siblings, they die (and this one actually includes one of mengo's oneshots),... i never expected onk to be any different. even less after it got so popular

that doesn't mean, though, that i don't still find disappointing that after ch143 suddenly aqua and ruby weren't really allowed to interact onscreen. not as twins, and not as former doctor and patient. i always figured aqua would turn ruby down or something, but i did expect them to resolve the entanglement, address where the relationship was supposed to stand. when you set aside the incest angle, it's easy to see how goro|aqua and sarina|ruby never got an actual end to their story together. it even gets cut short with my less favorite way of ending a conflict in a story: one of the character gets killed. but oh well. same old. not the first manga negatively affected by the bill and not the last

[secretswiftymarvelfan]

Silver Fox - Chris Evans x Reader

Summary: Chris isn’t too happy that he’s getting older, good thing he has you around.

Word Count: 634

Warning: Age Gap (Reader is in their early 30s)! Bit of Angst! Insecurity! Fluff!

A/N: I wrote this on my phone almost immediately after waking up so it’s barely edited!

You let out a long yawn as you walked out of the closet dressed in a pair of shorts and one of Chris’ old tops. You ran your hands down your face as you walked across the bedroom towards the bed that was calling for you.

As you went you passed by the bathroom where you spotted Chris stood in front of the mirror. You paused in your journey turning towards the bathroom, leaning against the doorframe as you admired him.

All he wore was some dark blue checkered pj bottoms, his bare chest on show giving you the best view of his numerous tattoos. As your eyes ran over his body, appreciating what was yours, your gaze finally settled on his face.

You watched as he tilted his head side to side, up and down, fingers running through his beard. The small frown on his face and long sigh telling you something wasn’t right.

“Hey” you say gently getting his attention.

He startles slightly, having not realised you had been watching him. His hands instantly fall from his face as he turns to face you, trying to lean casually against the counter.

“Hey?” He says with a slight questioning tone.

“What’s wrong?” You ask him gently.

He shakes his head slightly giving you a smile you could tell was forced “nothing’s wrong”

“Chris”

Chris lets out a long sigh knowing he wasn’t going to get out of this one, he glances back in the mirror the frown from before reappearing.

“I’m going grey” he sighs sadly.

You frown slightly, surprised and confused that that was the reason he was upset.

“I know it’s stupid and it’s a natural part of ageing but it just reminds me of how old I am and how much older I am then you and I worry that you won’t like it” he explains turning back to face the mirror, hands running over the small grey patches in his beard.

“You’re right it is stupid”

You close the distance between the two of you, your hand taking his getting him to face you. Chris watches your every move with wary eyes as your hands run up his arms, over his chest before moving up to cup his cheeks. Your thumbs gently running over his beard.

“Because I love your little grey patches, I think they’re so unbelievably sexy” you tell him gently, his eyes widening in surprise.

“You don’t mean that”

“I do, I love all of you, every single grey hair, and wrinkle” you say making his face scrunch up “because it means you’ve lived a life, and a pretty amazing one if I have to say”

A small smile plays at the corner of his lips but you could tell he was still unconvinced.

“All these wrinkles” you say, your thumb running over his smile lines “remind me of every time you’ve smiled and laughed, which I love because its the best sight in the world and makes my heart soar”

“And I love these little grey patches because I already know you are going to be the sexiest silver fox in the world” you smirk making Chris chuckle gently.

“But the thing I love most is that for every grey hair, or wrinkle or anything, there is a new part of you for me to love” you finish, the smile on Chris’ face back in full force showing off those smile lines you loved so much.

He cups your cheeks guiding your lips up to his, all the love and thanks he could give filtering through. As he pulls away he presses another kiss to your forehead muttering under his breath how much he loved you.

“I love you too sweetheart” you smile tilting your head back so you could capture his lips once more.

💙💙💙💙

PLEASE LIKE FOLLOW AND REBLOG!

Masterlist

I don’t have a taglist but follow @secretswiftymarvelfanlibrary and turn on post notifications!

[bunny-rambles]

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

“the sun, to my moon.”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

characters; Kaedehara Kazuha, gn!reader

cw/tw; descriptions of depression, loneliness, hurt/comfort, vent writing

word count; 1k

notes; I posted this about an hour ago, but I thought it was too personal so I edited it down. So if you saw this on your feed already, sorry;;; writing is how I cope, so this is a vent post, but I wanted to use Kazuha because I really don’t write enough for him. If you feel like the reader, please reach out and talk to someone. I love you. Oh, and you can decide if Kazuha is the sun or the moon. Personally, I see him as both :,)

Reblogs and comments are highly appreciated, please do so if you like this !!

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Where do you go from here?

If this isn’t the place you were meant to be, where is? What now?

Can you call yourself lost, when logically, you know where your house is? Ah, but that place isn’t home, is it. It’s not warm, it’s not a relieved sigh from a long journey. No... Comfort seemed obsolete no matter where you went. All you were was another drifting soul, another number, another leaf scraping along the ground as it’s blown forcefully away from the tree it had sprouted from. There was no home for you. There was no friend to laugh with, for you only held hands with your shadow, trembling fingers intertwined with the mysterious, inky darkness. It was the only friend you had, in your eyes. At least it never hurt you, right?

Perhaps having no one was okay.

You told yourself that lie, over and over again, even after the countless pining stares you sent your colleagues when they walked side by side, mouths moving animatedly in a less than riveting conversation, but it was still something. Why didn’t you have anyone? Was there something wrong with you?

The void behind you beckoned, empty arms wrapping around you from behind. It almost felt like a lover's embrace, icy lips pressed against your already cold ear lobe. It whispered something.

“You don’t deserve it.”

The once comforting arms turned into painful vices, clamping down on your frail chest, crushing everything in its iron grip. “Why would they ever want someone like you?” It continued its onslaught, hissing harshly in your ear. “Don’t bother wasting their time.”

As you had done one too many times, you turned around to give in, to go to the building that you hesitantly labelled as your home, but a loud call of your name caught your attention. The figure behind you vanished, another hand reaching out from the darkness to hold your shoulder. A shocked gasp ripped itself from your throat, and you whipped around to see who it was.

The ronin’s hand flinched away when you turned around, his hands inches away from your shoulder. Both of you looked like deers caught in headlights. He cleared his throat as he straightened up, a gentle smile forming on his lips. You couldn’t help but show one back, even if it was strained.

The two of you didn’t know each other very well, but you had shared conversations here and there about the poetry he wrote. He was the closest thing to a friend you had, when you really thought about it. Always polite, ever smiling, it was no wonder he had you charmed. And when he spoke? Even blooming flowers paled in comparison to the beauty of his soft voice. Carefully chosen words woven into intricate haiku’s, the sound heavenly when murmured quietly into the gentle breeze. Perhaps in another life, you would have used it as a lullaby, drifting off with pleasant dreams permeating your mind. Maybe the storm clouds would finally dissipate.

“You seem troubled… Is something the matter?” You blinked at that, your head cocking in slightly in confusion. Was he talking to you? He breathed out a quiet chuckle from your actions, before the hand that was once on your shoulder snaked around your wrist lithely. “Come with me.” You had no reason not to.

You dared not ask where the two of you were going, simply thankful to just be in the presence of the traveller beside you. Instead of the foreboding shadow that was now following silently behind the two of you, Kazuha’s touch felt like relief - like the sun after the storm, spreading its warmth and creating beautiful masterpieces of colour in the sky. He embodied the sun, but his hair was silvery, and you couldn’t decide if it reminded you of the luminous moon that was there for you on sleepless nights or the stars that lit the night up and guided you out of the shadows when you felt lost. Perhaps he was just all things bright.

He turned to you and smiled, letting go of your wrist. “Here we are.” He sighed softly, seating himself on the top of the grassy hill that he had led you to, waiting for you to sit down beside him. When you did, his arm wrapped itself around your shoulder and pulled you in close to him. “I want you to tell me what you see.” He stated simply, his finger pointing out to the horizon. You gazed, finding yourself sighing heavily. Was this a joke or something?

“I can’t see anything, it’s too cloudy.” You grumbled, your pout growing as you heard him laugh to himself quietly, amused by your frustration.

“Why don’t you try a different perspective, hm?” A single, bandaged finger curled under your chin and pushed your head up. And then you saw it. Your bottom lip quivered at the sight, the rain threatening to fall from your eyes. The storm was held back by the sun that was shining bright beside you. And above the two of you, after the ever long night, you finally saw the sun rise.

“Kazuha…”

“I found this mountain while I was travelling, while my heart was clouded with darkness. I, too, didn’t raise my head. But once I did…” He took a minute to sigh, resting his head on top of yours, tracing patterns along your shoulder with featherlight fingertips. “I saw this. The rain had finally stopped.” Tearing your eyes away from the view above you, you shifted your gaze to the man beside you. He seemed to outshine even the sun with that warm smile on his face. “The storm will pass, dove. That dark cloud hanging over the sun will fade. And just as the sun has the moon, you have me. Let me take over when the world turns dark.”

You drew in a shaky breath, raising your hands to wipe at your damp cheeks. “I don’t know what to say…” You admitted quietly, nuzzling your cheek against his shoulder. Another melodic chuckle.

“Don’t say anything. Just… Enjoy being here with me, as i do with you.” Neither of you talk about how he so lovingly pressed a kiss to the crown on of your head, or the hand that had slipped to your waist to hold you closer.

[babyboiboyega]

Enough (Shangqi x f!reader)

Shangqi x f!reader

Content: a little bit of angst, fluff at the end, Shangqi being such a damn sweetheart

Word Count: 1.3k

Babyboiboyega’s Marvel Masterlist

*********

Y/N’s movements were a little slower than usual as she dodged, kicked, and punched, and it was obvious, especially to her. It was obvious, and it frustrated her to no end as she continued to move around the mat. 

The slight throbbing in her temple she had woken up with had only gotten worse as the day went on, and it continued to do so the more she exerted herself. 

She tried to hide the pain behind a grimace, but under the guise of being focused, but she had a slight suspicion that he could see right through her. This only prompted her to intensify her actions, trying to come off as fine when in reality, the pressure in her head was close to debilitating. 

She knew that she should have stopped and told him what was wrong, but the stubborn, reckless side of her won out. And that was exactly what she was doing: being incredibly reckless. 

A grunt left her mouth as she was pushed back, her feet stumbling over each other.

“Y/N, what’s going on with you tonight? You’re a little slower than usual.”

Shangqi’s voice rang out, a teasing lilt to it as he gazed at her with his hands on his hips. His eyebrows were furrowed in genuine worry as she bent at the waist, bracing herself against her knees. 

With every breath she took came another painful throb in her temple, and even with her eyes squeezed shut, she could feel her head spinning. 

Hearing her labored breaths and noticing her silence, Shangqi walked closer, the small smile on his face dropping.

“Hey, what’s wrong? We can take a break. We should take a break.”

At his words, Y/N shook her head slowly before straightening. The wince that she tried to hide did not go unnoticed. 

“I’m fine. Let’s go again.”

Shangqi’s head tilted and his eyes narrowed slightly, this time with suspicion. 

“Y/N, there’s nothing wrong with taking a break. Maybe get a sip of water-”

“I’m fine, Shangqi, okay? I’m...I’m good.”

The conviction in her voice was enough for him to slowly nod his head before taking stance. His eyes watched her carefully as she did the same, and once he was satisfied that she was ready, he resumed their dance around each other.

He threw easily avoidable hits while still watching the way she reacted. Her eyebrows were pinched in concentration as she blocked his hits, her feet moving in the way he had taught her. 

For a brief moment, she felt pride and forgot about the pain that gripped her head. All of the sparring lessons were culminating into something she was proud of. 

But then Shangqi had to throw a punch while simultaneously going for her exposed bottom half. 

She had managed to block the hit, but she had been too oblivious of her open leg area.

Y/N felt herself falling and managed to right her foot enough to where her impact with the mat was more controlled. An almost embarrassing “oof” fell from her lips as she quite literally landed on her ass.  

It only took a few seconds for Shangqi to approach her, his hand held out to help her up. 

“We’re taking a break. I’ll go get your water.”

The finality of his words paired with her own frustration resulted in a pang of anger quickly running through her. 

She grabbed his hand and pulled herself up quickly, her mouth forming words of insistence that only dissipated as black spots crowded her vision. 

She rapidly blinked her eyes, but only seemed to make it worse. The pain in her head had decided to make itself known once again, and it came with a vengeance. 

This time, she couldn’t stop the small groan from escaping her mouth as her hand raised and gripped her head. 

The pain was unbearable now, akin to having one’s head slammed into a metal pole without the relief of eventually passing out. She could feel the throbbing at the base of her neck, and the pain had started to make her stomach churn. 

She should have listened to him. She should have stopped earlier.

Y/N hadn’t realized that she was swaying, leaning a little too far in one direction, until she felt soft, calloused hands land on her arms. 

“Y/N...Y/N, talk to me. What’s going on?”

As she spoke, Shangqi gently guided her down until she was safely kneeling on the floor, no longer swaying on her feet. He wasted no time in kneeling in front of her, his hands moving to cup her face.

“Come on, take deep breaths. Talk to me, sweetheart.”

Y/N spoke quietly and through clenched teeth, her hand continuing to put pressure against her temple.

“Migraine.”

The sigh that left Shangqi’s mouth was sympathetic as he rubbed her cheek. He leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss against her forehead before slowly rising and bringing her with him.

He had no trouble supporting her weight as he led her in the direction of his room, leaving the open space behind them.

In reality, it had only taken a minute or so to get to Shangqi’s room, but every step had felt like 10 to Y/N. She was acutely aware of Shangqi turning off every light as they walked, and if she weren’t so busy making sure her lunch stayed down, she would have expressed her love and gratitude for his actions. 

She simply let Shangqi guide her to wherever she needed to go, knowing and trusting without a doubt that he would take care of her. 

He only proceeded to prove her right as he wasted no time in walking her towards his bed and gently lowering her onto it. As soon as she was situated, he quietly walked around the bed and turned off every remaining light, the tv, and even closed the blinds.

In only a span of a few seconds, he had grabbed a glass of water and the medicine she had left at his place for a situation exactly like this. 

“Y/N, here’s your medicine. Come on, babe. I just need you to take this real quick.”

With an agonized groan and her eyes still tightly shut, Y/N slowly sat up. Her hands blindly reached out, prompting Shangqi to drop her pill into her hand followed by the glass of water. She took the medicine quickly and without hesitation, before holding it out once more. 

Shangqi’s hands shot out, one grabbing the glass while the other gently landed on her back, keeping her from laying back down.

A noise between a soft cry and a groan left Y/N’s mouth at being stopped, but the slight annoyance she had quickly dissipated as Shangqi gently crawled into bed in front of her. 

All while whispering apologies to her, he maneuvered their bodies to where they could lay down with Y/N completely covering his body with her own. 

There had been a question on the tip of her tongue as he had moved them, but it all made sense when his hands raised and started massaging her temples, gingerly but with enough pressure to ease the pain. 

She felt his lips touch her hair, and it made a lone tear slip from her tear line. The tears that formed as a result of pain only fell as a result of being cared and loved for.

But Shangqi had interpreted the new tear stain on his shirt as one of pain. He spoke softly with his lips pressed to her head. 

“I know. I know, I’m sorry I can’t do more.”

His words made her arms tighten where they were wound around his torso. As she spoke, more tears fell from her eyes.

“You do more than enough, Shangqi. You’re more than enough.”

********

I hope you all enjoyed this! Like I said, this is a comfort fic that I really wrote for myself, but decided to post it here! I do deal with chronic migraines, and with every migraine comes a great disdain for everyone in the immediate vicinity....but I just KNOW that Shangqi would do anything to help me feel better, so I wanted to write it!

This week has been reaaaalllyy tough so far between work, class, and personal issues, so that’s another reason why this is a comfort fic, it helped me escape life while I was writing. 

But once again, I hope you all enjoyed this! Please like, reblog, and/or leave a comment. Literally whenever someone leaves a comment, it makes my day!

OH! I’m also thinking about making a tag list! 👀👀

Stay safe, y’all!

[apoloadonisandnarcissus]

@gilgys-ring: thank you, for your contribution, friend. You made some interesting points. I’m replying through here because I’ve already answered to some of the ideas you gave, above, and it will be relevant to what I’m about to write here.

I also agree that some binding probably happened but I don’t think it necessarily HAS to be on purpose because someone wrote that Sauron might have stabbed her with the crown knowing that he wound would suck her into the Unseen world but he didn’t stab her fatally and so giving her time finally yield to him and hand over Nenya which he could have used to heal that wound as a reward for joining him. He wasn’t above trying literally every tactic in the book to get her to “decide” to join him but since she refused every trick he resorted to violence and the fact that he took the 9 but didn’t take nenya looks to me like he desperately needs this picture to hold that when she joins him he “convinced” and not outright controlled her to do anything because he wants her to yield to him “of her own will”.  

If the blood binding happened, it has to be intentional: this has been Sauron’s desire ever since 1x06, when he was still Halbrand (aka “Repentant Mairon”). This was what he proposed to her in 1x08; you bind me to the light, and I bind you to power. He wants this; giving Galadriel his power, and harvesting her light for himself.  

And, yes, Galadriel’s soul would go to the Unseen world, no matter Sauron’s true intention with this (this is a confirmed fact by 2x08):

As for Nenya, we still don’t fully understand how the rings of power work. From what we saw in 2x01, Nenya chose Galadriel as its ring-bearer; this can be a clue that the Three rings of power might have a “will of their own” like the One ring has.

Meaning: Sauron knows that Nenya belongs to Galadriel, and only her can surrender it to him. And this is most likely the reason why he just didn’t take her off her hand (like he did with the Nine).

Galadriel surrendered Nenya to Elrond in 2x04 for safe keeping, and Adar was able to retrieve the ring by force in 2x07, only he was the one who ended up returning it to Galadriel. We see this dynamic with the One ring, and how much it wants to return to its master, Sauron, in “Lord of the Rings” trilogy. What if the Three work in the same way? 

I have a hard time believing that he actually puppermaster-controlled her to do anything because he wants her to yield to him “of her own will”.  Also I don’t remember if we ever saw him puppetmaster-controlling anyone to a point where they changed their thought, just deceiving with multiple people and then puppetmaster-control with the guards stabbing each other for example. But deceiving Celebrimbor was also never about puppetmastering him but showing and telling him stuff that changed his perception and the guards seemed terrified when he puppetmaster-controlled them right? Unlike Galadriel when she was about to give him Nenya.  

You are correct, because Sauron isn’t a “master-puppeteer”; what he does is “planting seeds” on people’s minds. He’s like a demon whispering in your ear, giving you hints on what to do. Celebrimbor explained this to the audience, in 2x05: “It is a game you play, is it not? Sowing seeds in others' minds and then convincing them that the fruit is of their own thought.”  

However (and this is why this reblog is important), the concept of “free will” is a major theme in Tolkien lore. Sauron might “plant these seeds”, but it’s ultimately other beings’ choice to follow what he says, or not. Sauron is a personification of evil in the legendarium, which means others have the choice to either follow him (evil), or turn away (good). That’s why Sauron tells Celebrimbor “you chose this”; because he, indeed, has. He has chosen to follow evil.  

“That’s why I think he just though she finally got it and gave a shot and she played along to idk fuck with him?” 

Like I said in my OG post, this is underestimating Sauron’s power. He’s one of the most powerful Maiar in existence. Galadriel doesn’t have the power to deceive him, even if she wanted to.  

Another thought was that he stabbing with the crown was symbolic for him whether he knows of any binding power of the blood or of the magic. He’s petty and angry in that moment and he doesn’t use the sword but stabs her with the symbol of his earlier proposal to elevate her above everything else in Middle-earth to show her how hard she fucked this up for herself and what she forced him to do to her if we know one thing about that guy it’s that he’s melodramatic as fuck. Also I agree that he obviously didn’t want to kill her because if that was the case he would have just done it. Maybe he learned from his fuck-up with Celebrimbor to try and control the damage even in anger. 

Sauron knows blood magic, indeed; he’s been a master of it for thousands of years (probably for longer than Galadriel herself is alive). This is why blood binding theory is the one I subscribe to. 

Morgoth’s crown was a symbol of Morgoth’s power and his desires. I talked about this on this post. However, Morgoth’s goal wasn’t to rule only Middle-earth, but the entire world (Arda) by corrupting it. Had him stabbed her with any other crown, maybe, but with this specific object, I don’t think so. Because Sauron’s offer wasn’t to make Galadriel queen of Arda, but queen of Middle-earth.

Sauron doesn’t stab Galadriel in anger; in fact, we see him stopping for a bit, while he’s looking at her, and then he goes for it. This means this was something he did on a conscious and intentional way, and not on a fit rage (like with Celebrimbor).  

Blood binding and Sauron’s intentions

My pal @rey-jake-therapist and I were in one of our usual friendly discussions about this topic in one of her posts, but since the theme digresses so much from her original intent and I’m pretty much spamming her OG post by now, we decided to move the debate to here, and invite the fandom to join in.

As customary, Rey always presents good and challenging counter-arguments to mine. Because it's possible to disagree and keep it civil and friendly. This is good fandom etiquette, and this is the point of debates, after all: sharing different ideas and perspectives on the same topic. We usually end up agreeing on disagreeing and it’s all good in the end.

What were Sauron’s intentions and goals in stabbing Galadriel with Morgoth’s crown in 2x08? 

2x01 / 2x08 parallels: “Only blood can bind.” (Adar; 1x05)

1) Binding/Enslaving Galadriel to his Will

Rey made the case for Sauron’s intention of possessing and dominating Galadriel using Morgoth’s crown. And that we should focus on present intentions, and not lose yourselves in “what if” scenarios (with this I totally agree, so, let's focus on the present time).

This theory states that Sauron wanted to enslave Galadriel to his will, by having her handing over Nenya, in submission. This would explain why Galadriel seemed “bewitched” while removing Nenya from her finger, and almost surrendering it to him.  

This means Sauron has “outgrown” his intentions from 1x08, when he wanted to serve Galadriel (due to his Maia nature; he was created to be a servant to a Vala). Now, he wants full power, and he’s not willing to share it with anyone else (Galadriel included):

Sauron only wants to dominate/possess Galadriel now: she humiliated him when she refused him in 1x08, he developed an obsession for her, so he punished her with physical pain (the stabbing), and attempted to possess her so she would follow him.

And so, if blood binding theory is true, this would work like the Nine and the Nazgûl, with Galadriel not only being a servant, but a slave to Sauron. This theory can also imply she would have, indeed, become a Ringwraith herself, as her soul was entering the Unseen world (“Shadow realm”) when Gil-galad and Arondir found her.

This is a very strong theory, and I think many fellow fans share this view, as well. Would it pass Sauron to do something like this? Absolutely not, and it would not be OCC for him to have this intention, at all.

So what’s my problem, you might ask?

This facial expression right here:

Unless Charlie was having a case of fatigue eyes due to extensive use of contact lenses (speaking from personal experience), there’s no explanation for Sauron getting all teared up when he believed Galadriel was about to join him, if his intention was to enslave her to his will, and that’s what he was doing here.

And no, Galadriel can’t deceive him. This is underestimating Sauron’s power: he’s the “great deceiver”, and only he can deceive himself, really. And if they are, indeed, blood bound, Galadriel couldn’t possibly hide anything from him. And I already made the case for how Galadriel was about to join him, freely, in another post.

2) “You bind me to the light, I bind you to power”

Speaking of Sauron’s intentions, we need to remember the creator of this character and what he says about him. Tolkien tells us (in Letters 131, 153 and 183) that “Annatar” still has “fair motives”: he’s a reformer who, truly, wants to rebuild/heal Middle-earth, and he’s genuine in this endeavor (nevermind his methods, that’s why he’s a villain). Rey counter-argumented this does not translate in a desire to serve Galadriel, and she’s correct.

However, what was his intention in 1x08?  

And if Sauron still has a genuine concern in healing Middle-earth, what if his intention with Morgoth’s crown was giving Galadriel his power, while harvesting her light for himself, just like he wanted in 1x08? And if this was his intention, why would he keep her soul “trapped” in the Unseen world? What if he wanted to make her queen of the Seen and Unseen world? Not a mere queen of Middle-earth, but as nearly as possible to a literal Goddess he could serve?

Because Sauron/Mairon can’t escape his nature, he was created to be a servant, a Maia to a Vala. And, right now, he doesn’t want to serve Morgoth. Even though he does it, unconsciously, and perhaps he recognized this after he killed Celebrimbor in a rage fit (something that’s completely OCC for him, because that’s not who he is; Sauron is a control freak, a mastermind).

This scene with Galadriel happened after that; and Sauron cried because, when he looked up at Celebrimbor, all he could see was Morgoth’s bounds on him reaching the surface. And that chaotic destruction is Morgoth, not Sauron. And he doesn't want that at this point on his character arc in Tolkien lore. I think this is when Sauron makes the decision to bind himself to Galadriel, one way or the other.

I absolutely disagree with the idea that Sauron stabbed Galadriel to punish her or kill her: if that was his true intention he would have used Morgoth sword (he was already using it in his duel with Galadriel the entire time), not a powerful dark magic object infused with own blood (because Adar used it to destroy his previous physical form), nor he would have carried that thing around the entire time while mentioning "binding" twice (“I never believed I could be... Until today. Fighting at your side, I... I felt... If I could just hold on to that feeling, keep it with me always, bind it to my very being, then I...” (1x06); “The door is still open”).

“Binding” (usually connected with “blood oaths”) and “enslaving” are two different kinds of blood magic. Because the Nine rings of power are pieces of jewelry meant to be worn by ring-bearers, with a small dosage of Sauron’s blood (along with other specific spells). Morgoth’s crown not only has a lot of Sauron’s blood on it, but we also don’t know what kind of dark magic it actually contains: we only know it was made to hold the Silmarils and it can destroy Sauron’s physical form (implying that, maybe, Sauron doesn’t have much control over this object?).

Sauron accidentally sharing his power with Galadriel is nonsense to me, as well. He's ancient, has been around since before the world existed (he helped create that very world), has been a master in blood magic and every sort of sorcery for thousands of years, and he’s one of the most powerful Maia in existence, but isn’t aware he would be giving Galadriel some of his power by binding himself to her? When he clearly mentions this in 1x08? "I bind you to power". Because Galadriel appears to be seeing the world in a whole new way in 2x08 epilogue (and even her eyes look off):

Besides, Galadriel is suppose to be a powerful sorceress of her own right in Tolkien lore, mastering several powers. In the legendarium Galadriel own power was amplified by Nenya, yes, but this isn’t the case in “Rings of Power”, because we haven’t seen her displaying any magical powers in Season 1. She won’t have any other powers in the show (besides healing and foresight/visions), completely cutting off with Tolkien legendarium? If the show keeps it true to the lore on that bit, where did her powers (look into others’ hearts and minds, and communicate telepathically) come from? Will they “magically” appear out of nowhere? When and how? But, if these powers came from Sauron it’s because he wanted it to happen, and that was his intention. And if that was his intention, what was his purpose with this if not to serve her?

And Sauron does share power: he does share his power with those he wants to enslave; via the rings of power. That’s why Celebrimbor tells him he’s their prisoner, and not their master. However, these are two very different kinds and degrees of magic. Because with the rings ("enslave") he can control how he wants it to go; while sharing his actual power with another living being ("blood oath") is uncontrollable. He can’t possible know the end result of it.

I know there’s a popular theory that Adar was blood bound to Sauron, but I don’t think so. Adar not only doesn't have any magical powers, but he wouldn’t be able to kill Sauron himself, if that was true. Blood binding is a blood oath, and it’s forever, unbreakable, and it prevents beings from harming or acting against one another (physically) in any direct way. That’s why “Rings of Power” introduced the clue that Sauron might be blood bound to Morgoth in 1x03; and that’s the reason he could never leave nor forsake his master even when he came to resent him.

This means, that, in "Rings of Power", Sauron, most likely, only has Morgoth as a reference to blood oaths. And he probably thinks this will go the same way with Galadriel, and he’ll keep her light to himself, allowing him to keep Morgoth at bay. Only her “light” is merely aesthetic, really. The light that shines on her hair and eyes is the light of the Two Trees of Valinor, and it shines on every Elf that was born during the Years of the Trees (and not only her). Because Galadriel is a complex and nuanced character, and ticking bomb that can turn dark at any minute.  

[maudus1]

Fic Authors Self-Rec!

Rules: When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass it on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love!

Thanks for the tag @poeti-kat! 💙 Passing this on to @charlatron @sagegarnish @jacklyn-flynn @andordean @some27-url

Troubled Water

Rating: E

Fandom: Star Wars Prequels / The Clone Wars

Relationship: Anakin Skywalker/Obi-Wan Kenobi

About: Sort of a character/relationship study that takes place over several years. Started as a cracky 5+1 things idea and... exploded into something much more expansive. The original premise: "Five times Obi-Wan kept Anakin warm, and one time Anakin returned the favor." It's still following this format, for the most part, as it's given me an outline to adhere to and an end goal.

Comment: This is still a work in progress, but I think it's already my favorite. Star Wars was one of my childhood obsessions and I'm enjoying reliving that nostalgia as an adult. Character-driven stories featuring personal growth and development have always fascinated me, and I love doing deep POV dives, so I'm having a ton of fun with it. It's given me back the motivation I'd been sorely lacking this year, and the response has honestly blown me away.

Beg Pretty for Me

Rating: E

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

About: A smutty Dom/sub post-canon fix-it with lots of feelings. Dean saved Cas from the empty, they admitted their love for each other, and now everyone is one big happy family. Cue some raunchy "I'm on a mission and I miss you" phone sex!

Comment: I started this before the series finale both for personal reasons and for the fandom at large, because we can never have too many happy endings for these boys. It's what they deserved. And maybe I just wanted Cas to live and Dean to feel pretty and cherished and loved.

Fixing a Hole, Building a Bridge

Rating: M

Fandom: Dragon Age Origins

Relationship: Alistair/Morrigan

About: This is a short hurt/comfort piece wherein Alistair is injured and Morrigan takes care of him. And then repressed feelings spill out.

Comment: I originally wrote this for a Valentine's day prompt challenge, though it's been edited and added to since then because upon rereading I got inspired. Their banter is some of my favorite in the game and I love complex relationship dynamics, so this was a blast to write. Over time it's become one of my favs.

One September Morning

Rating: T

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

About: Modern (No Monsters) AU where mechanic Dean falls in love with the new cashier working the counter at the gas station next to his auto shop. Alas, in true Dean fashion, it takes a full-on personal crisis for him to finally realize it.

Comment: This was my first exchange fic in the SPN fandom so I was nervous as fuck about it. But it ended up being a ton of fun. Super fluffy and sweet, despite some mild Dean-angst. And again, a happy ending, like they deserve. @dustyl turned it into a fantastic podfic too! Check it out here.💙💚

Private Sessions

Rating: E

Fandom: Dragon Age Inquisition

Relationship: Cullen Rutherford/f!Reader

About: Another Modern AU. You (the reader) have the hots for your new spin instructor. Guess what? The feeling is mutual! From sex to love and romance, with family fluff and mabari pups along the way, it's super adorable (and incredibly steamy).

Comment: What started as a reblog chain of my mutuals and I goofing off here on tumblr turned into a summer writing circle that got us through the first lockdown. Because of this project, I met some of the most awesome people. It brought us closer as friends and I will forever be grateful for that. And the responses we got to it were astounding and so heart-warming. Shout out to my beautiful co-authors and sister witches @charlatron @kemvee @jacklyn-flynn I love y'all! 😘

[thefandominator]

Thank You For Sharing

The first thing that should have tipped Andrew off that something was up with Neil was that he pulled his hand away from Andrew where their pinkies were linked.

Neil needing some space from him wasn’t alarming per se, but it was unusual. There could be any number of reasons he’d pulled away.

It could be for no reason at all.

Andrew didn’t dwell on it.

Or, the foxes get more than they bargained for when they decide to watch a children's movie with Neil. Andrew, ever the protector, guides them all through it.

AO3 version linked here if you’d prefer.

Pairings: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard | Andrew Minyard & Original Character(s) | The Foxes & The Foxes

Word count: 3139

Rating: General

Warnings: Neil Josten has Dissociative Identity Disorder

Notes: okay so for anyone who is miraculously in all the fandoms i write for and has been following along as i post these: (1) this is the last fandom i am doing this for lmao i swear i won't be jumping from fandom to fandom posting DID AUs once a week for the rest of time, meaning (2) next week will be an update on one of the DID universes i have already established, but (3) unlike the three ficlets i've posted so far which i wrote in three days straight a few weeks ago, i have not pre-written the next fic so wish me luck for that (also, u can send me prompts if you want to see something specific). anyway, enough of that, please enjoy my take on DID!neil.  constructive criticism is welcome (especially if you have DID/OSDD and notice some inaccuracies), and likes, comments and reblogs are encouraged!  no content warnings that i can think of, but let me know if there is anything you think i should warn for

The first thing that should have tipped Andrew off that something was up with Neil was that he pulled his hand away from Andrew where their pinkies were linked.

Neil needing some space from him wasn’t alarming per se, but it was unusual. There could be any number of reasons he’d pulled away. One of which could be the foxes that were around them in the girls’ dorm. Although, the only lighting in the room was coming from the animated movie playing in front of them so he doubted that anyone would be able to see them. So it probably wasn’t that.

It could be for no reason at all.

Andrew didn’t dwell on it.

The second thing that should have tipped Andrew off was when, a few minutes later, Neil climbed off of the couch altogether and sat on the floor, craning his neck forward as if trying to get as close to the action as possible.

That movement did give Andrew pause. Andrew narrowed his eyes at the top of Neil’s head, trying to see if Neil would give him any hints as to what was going on. The fact that Neil couldn’t feel Andrew staring at him and didn’t turn around was another significant clue.

He wondered if he was getting too dependent on Neil. With that thought, he elected to ignore Neil entirely.

Until the third and final sign. Which was less of a subtle sign and more of a blatant siren.

Olaf onscreen was rapidly changing shape as Kristoff shouted out the different objects he was turning into. Until–

“Ooh, Elsa!” Kristoff yelled.

The most delighted squeal of a giggle that Andrew could ever remember hearing pealed out from somewhere in the room.

It took Andrew a second to figure out the source of the sound. He finally stared down at Neil and he could tell he wasn’t the only one who did so, although the others likely had more shock on their faces than Andrew had.

Neil was oblivious to the stares for a few seconds. Then he abruptly became aware of them, and his head swiveled around the room, swiftly taking in all the foxes’ stares in the relative darkness.

“Neil, that was adorable!” Nicky exclaimed.

Neil’s shoulders pushed back as he tried to gain a few inches of height from his position on the floor.

Andrew waited for what was bound to be a scathing retort from Neil. But–

“Um. O– Okay,” Neil stammered.

Andrew could tell the foxes around him were frowning down at Neil and Andrew felt himself mirroring their sentiments.

Neil’s voice sounded off. It was slightly pitched up, and Andrew was certain he’d never heard Neil audibly sound that nervous in the entire time they’d known each other. It almost sounded like some anxious child was doing a Neil impression and failing miserably.

In fact. That was exactly what it sounded like. And that was probably exactly what was happening. Neil had mentioned to Andrew that he’d been front-stuck for a few days now, but it wasn’t like Andrew would forget that his DID existed entirely.

Andrew slid down from the couch and sat in front of Probably-Not-Neil. As soon as Andrew was situated, Probably-Not-Neil ducked their head to stare down at the bit of floor space between them.

Which, if this person were trying to convince everyone to calm down and believe that they were Neil, was the exact opposite thing to do.

“You’re not Neil,” Andrew declared.

Probably-Not-Neil shrunk in on themself and their eyes briefly met Andrew’s face as they peeked up.

“Am too,” Probably-Not-Neil murmured, again in that voice of a child trying to seem older than they were.

This was definitely not Neil then.

Andrew was quiet for a moment, deliberating how he should approach this situation. He heard the movie pause behind him. With how much time he spent one-on-one with Neil, he’d been the first point of external contact for plenty of Neil’s alters, but he’d never met someone as young and unaware as this person seemed.

Andrew was not a fan of meeting new people but, he begrudgingly admitted to himself, he knew that he would do whatever it took to help Neil navigate his DID.

Andrew decided that it was probably best if he started from the beginning.

“Do you know what DID is?”

Definitely-Not-Neil perked up in excitement. Their eagerness at being called on like they were the goody-two-shoes in class seemed to overshadow their insistence on playing the part as Neil.

“O’ course! It’s, um, Dissocive Identy Disorder.” They beamed.

Close enough. If they knew what it was called, they probably already knew something about what it was. “Right. Do you know that you have DID?” Andrew asked next.

“Um.” They shifted in their spot. “Yeah.”

“Good. Do you know who I am?” Perhaps it was presumptuous of Andrew to start with himself, but he was the one who interacted most with the alters, so it seemed like a logical opening.

They nodded nervously. “Andrew, right?”

“That’s right.” Andrew nodded back. If they knew who Andrew was, then maybe they knew to trust him too. “Now, listen carefully. Everyone in this room knows that you are not Neil.” Andrew was glad they spent most of their movie nights without the freshmen. “And that’s okay. You are safe here, with me and with these people. We will not hurt you for being yourself, alright?”

Definitely-Not-Neil finally looked up and made eye contact with Andrew. Naked hope and disbelief shone in their blue stare. Their eyes made a sweeping gaze around the room at the foxes around them and then settled on Andrew’s again.

“Really?” They were barely hiding the childish lilt to their voice anymore.

“Yes,” Andrew replied.

“Okay,” they said, wiggling a little in their spot.

“Okay.” Andrew paused. He wanted to ask them more questions, but he didn’t want to overwhelm them either. Maybe the best approach would be to leave it up to them. “Do you want to tell me about yourself?”

“Yeah, okay!” They beamed. “Um, I’m Johnny. I’m nine.” Nine? Andrew did not let himself hope that Johnny wasn’t a trauma holder. Hope would get him nowhere in a situation like this. “Um… My hair is blond. But not like your blond, like a different blond.” With every sentence Johnny said, they seemed to get more comfortable. “And, um, I’m smaller than this so these legs and arms are too long for me.” Johnny waved the aforementioned arms around as if in demonstration. “Um… Oh! I use he/him pronouns.” He said each syllable meticulously, like he was quoting someone who’d taught him to say it. “Um… I like planes and cats and chocolate.” He ended his incongruous list with another full body wiggle.

When it seemed that nothing more was forthcoming, Andrew nodded. “Thank you for sharing, Johnny.” Andrew searched for something else to ask or add and came up empty for now. “Do you want to keep watching the movie?”

“No,” Johnny replied, indignant. “It’s your turn now.” He blinked at Andrew.

“My… turn?” Andrew said.

“Yeah! Can you tell me about yourself, Andrew?” More blinking.

Andrew heard huffs and coughs around the room that he was aware were just the foxes trying not to laugh at him lest they get a knife to the stomach. With how focused he’d been on Johnny, he’d almost forgotten they were still here. At least they’d kept their mouths shut and their reactions to themselves so far during this interaction.

“Yes,” Andrew decided. It was only fair after all. Andrew wouldn’t be the one to teach a nine-year-old that life wasn’t fair. “I am Andrew. I am twenty. My hair is also blond but apparently a different blond to your blond. I am 5 feet tall. I use he/him pronouns. I like ice cream and cars and knives.” He added the last one to remind the foxes that he was armed and would not take being made fun of for playing along to a child’s wishes lying down.

“Thank you for sharing, Andrew,” Johnny replied sincerely.

Andrew tried to inject the same amount of sincerity into his voice as Johnny had. “You’re welcome.”

“Okay.” He did a full body turn and sat cross legged with his hands in his lap to face the opposite end of the couch. “Your turn,” he said to Kevin brightly.

Kevin’s eyes widened. “My turn?” he said, flabbergasted.

“Uh-huh. Can you tell me about yourself?” Apparently Johnny’s anxiety had worn off as soon as he’d realized he was allowed to be comfortable around them.

Panic swept through the room as the other foxes grasped what fate was likely coming their way.

“Uh, sure, Johnny. Uh, I’m, um, Kevin. I’m twenty-one. I’m 6 foot 2. I use he/him pronouns. I, uh… I like exy and history and, uh, apples.”

“Hair,” Andrew prompted.

Kevin turned to Andrew. “Hair?” He frowned. “My hair?”

Andrew stayed silent.

“Why would I– He can see what my hair looks like,” Kevin muttered.

“Hair, Kevin,” Andrew repeated, accompanying the statement with a glare this time.

Kevin huffed. “And my hair is dark brown,” he added reluctantly.

“Thank you for sharing, Kevin,” Johnny answered, just as sincerely as before.

Kevin nodded awkwardly.

Johnny turned to Nicky, who was seated on the chair next to Kevin. “Your turn,” he encouraged cheerily.

Nicky, as expected, responded with as much gusto as if he’d had days to prepare this bio, even going so far as to list five things he liked instead of three.

Johnny, as was now becoming expected, thanked him for the information, and then moved onto the next person in the circle, which was Dan.

And so around it went, with some people’s answers more animated than others (Aaron gave his bio with the same enthusiasm he would give pulling his own teeth out, but he did participate, which wasn’t an insignificant step), and with people chipping in to remind each other of the prompts or to argue over details like heights (Matt insisted he was 6 foot 4 and a half, but Dan maintained that it was maximum 6 foot 4 and a quarter) and likes (“Alli, just because you wear a lot of green doesn’t mean it’s actually your favorite color,” Nicky asserted).

But eventually, after they all had taken a much longer time than probably anyone expected, Johnny ended off with a sincere, “Thank you for sharing, Renee.”

“You’re welcome, Johnny.” Renee gave her most beatific smile.

“Can we get back to the movie now?” Aaron grumbled.

“Uh-huh!” Johnny turned back to the screen, seemingly unaffected by Aaron’s lack of excitement. “I haven’t seen this one.”

“Have you seen the first Frozen movie?” Dan asked.

“No! There’s another one like this?” Johnny was clearly ecstatic over this news.

“Yeah! There is.” Dan deliberated. “Do you want to see it first?”

Aaron groaned softly. Andrew guessed that it was quiet enough for Johnny not to have heard but he assumed Johnny wouldn’t work out what the huff was for anyway. The foxes had just watched the first Frozen movie a couple of weeks ago, so a repeated viewing so soon wouldn’t be ideal.

“No, um, I like this. It’s funny. We can keep watching.”

“Okay. We’ll do the first one another time then, huh?” Dan promised.

Johnny’s eyes widened and his mouth popped open.

It was perhaps a disproportionate reaction to the casual suggestion Dan had made. But Andrew supposed it was confirmation that they wanted him around. Confirmation that Andrew was telling the truth when he’d said that Johnny could be himself.

Johnny gathered himself after a few seconds and nodded vigorously, moving his entire upper body with the action, flashing a grin.

“That would be awesome!” he exclaimed.

As someone pressed play on the TV, Andrew rearranged himself so that he was sitting next to Johnny in front of the space he’d vacated on the couch. It was a facsimile of the positions he and Neil had been in before, but there was now some distance between their arms where previously their pinkies had interlinked.

Andrew was once again struck with the thought that perhaps he was too dependent on Neil. He tried to dismiss the thought as not worth considering but then some part of him that sounded eerily like Bee advised against it.

So maybe he was dependent on Neil. Was that actually a bad thing? He didn’t know how the situation with Johnny would have panned out without Andrew there, but it probably wouldn’t have ended up going as well as it did. So, he reasoned with himself, maybe Neil and his system were dependent on him. It couldn’t be a bad thing if they weren’t being unhealthy about it. If it was reciprocal.

He decided that he’d thought enough about this. It wasn’t a bad thing, and that was good enough for him.

He tuned back into the movie as Johnny snickered at Kristoff doing the Sven voice to appease Olaf.

That was far from the only reaction Johnny had during the next hour and a half. He laughed at the funny parts and sang at the singing parts and sniffled at the sad parts. Andrew was surprised that there wasn’t a lack of sadness in this children’s movie. Andrew himself didn’t shed a tear, but he could recognize that shedding a tear wasn’t an atypical reaction to the events happening onscreen, as evidenced by the amount of sniffing he could hear from around the room.

Eventually, the credits started rolling, and as the movie ended, Johnny’s near-monologue began. The foxes did their best to participate in what was becoming an almost scene-for-scene recap of the film as Johnny reviewed his favorite parts, but Johnny was barely letting them get a word in edgewise and he seemed content to keep going on his own.

After a few minutes of this, when it was clear Johnny wasn’t letting up any time soon, Aaron got up to leave without saying a word.

Johnny let out a “Goodnight, Aaron” in between two of his thoughts but didn’t leave any time for Aaron to respond or anyone else to echo the farewell before he kept going on about Olaf calling for a ‘Samantha’ who didn’t exist.

Kevin left shortly thereafter and was granted the same sendoff of “Goodnight, Kevin” from Johnny.

The remaining foxes gave Johnny their full attention for as long as they could, but it was clear that they didn’t have Johnny’s youthful energy, and also it was later in the night than any of them had prepared for, after the ‘Can you tell me about yourself’ discursion that they’d had.

Matt was seated on the floor between Dan’s legs, and it was on the third time that Matt shook himself awake after hitting his head on Dan’s knee that Johnny seemed to notice something was up.

He stopped himself mid-word, turned to Andrew and requested, “Can you take me to my bed now?”

Andrew imagined there was an inaudible sigh of unanimous relief in the room.

“Sure,” Andrew acquiesced.

They all staggered to their feet, exhaustion making their motions sluggish. Except for Johnny who bounced up like he was ready to run a marathon. They said their ‘goodnight’s to each other, and Nicky, Andrew and Johnny left the girls and Matt to the dorm, Johnny walking slightly like Bambi in an effort to get used to his aforementioned abnormally long limbs.

As they dropped off Nicky at his dorm on their way to the one Andrew and Neil shared with Kevin, Andrew noticed Johnny start to lose steam. By the time they made it through their door, Johnny was barely paying attention to where he was walking, instead fully focused on blinking repeatedly and rubbing his temples.

“Are you okay?” Andrew prodded.

Johnny glanced at Andrew for a second before going back to focusing on the middle distance. “Yeah. Just– someone’s here.”

“Okay. Do you know who it is?”

Johnny was silent as he presumably asked the alter for their name.

“Oh! It’s Neil,” he said.

“What is he saying?”

“He’s confused. He’s asking me what’s been going on. I’m tellin’ him about the movie.” Johnny grinned.

Andrew wasn’t sure that that was the recap Neil had been hoping for, but if Andrew had had to go through basically watching the movie twice with how thorough Johnny’s retelling was, then it was only fair for Neil to hear it.

Andrew went through his nighttime routine with Johnny as a silent shadow. Andrew wasn’t entirely sure if the silence was because he was so absorbed in the recitation of Frozen II’s best plot points to Neil or if it was because of dissociation, but Johnny was going through the motions nonetheless, which Andrew decided was the important thing.

When they were done, Andrew guided Johnny into Neil’s bunk and started the climb up into his own. As he was halfway there, Johnny whispered a “Goodnight, Andrew” keeping his voice down so as not wake Kevin who was snoring lightly in his bed.

“Goodnight, Johnny,” Andrew replied and completed his ascent.

He got himself under the covers and just breathed. He listened to Johnny’s breathing below him, waiting for it to even out. He didn’t want to fall asleep until he was sure Johnny and Neil were okay, because he knew Neil and his alters sometimes needed help grounding themselves when they felt particularly switch-y.

Andrew was not quite asleep and not quite awake a few minutes later when he heard Johnny get up out of the bottom bunk. Andrew turned his head, and even in the darkness he could see the attentiveness in Neil’s eyes.

“I think Johnny finally went to sleep,” Neil told Andrew quietly, in obvious relief. “Can I come up there?” he asked.

That was Neil, alright. Always asking, never assuming. Andrew could count on one hand the number of times he and Neil hadn’t shared a bed in the past few months and yet here was Neil, still making sure it was okay with Andrew.

“Yes,” Andrew answered, because what else would he have said.

Neil climbed the ladder, and he and Andrew shuffled until they were laying side by side under the sheets. It was a tight fit, made even more so by the bit of distance they left between each other, but they squeezed up against the railings on either side of the mattress to make it work.

Andrew breathed deeply, finally at ease, and felt his muscles relax as his eyes closed.

Just before he drifted off, he felt a light prod at his hand. It went away quickly. It was just a request. No insistence. No pressure.

Andrew linked pinkies with Neil, squeezed once and let sleep take him away.

Notes: this was a tough one for me to write because i don’t know how to write kids and i also don’t know how to write as andrew but i knew i wanted both to be done so here we are. also i know frozen wasn’t out when this would be set let alone frozen ii but l e t m e l i v e.  leave a like, comment or rb if u wanna! love you for reading! xx

[chuckbass-love]

20,39,42 with Andy Barber?

Hey, lovely anon. First of all i hope you’re doing well and second of all, i thoroughly enjoyed writing this and i hope y’all have a lot of fun reading it. It’s been a hot minute since i last wrote for Andy.

Disclaimer: My work is not to be posted anywhere else other than MY Tumblr, Wattpad and Ao3 without my permission. However, reblogs are welcome.

Pairing: Andy Barber x Fem!Reader

Prompts Used: 

20) “You’d better be quiet or everyone’s going to know what a naughty little slut you are”

39) “I’m so sick of your voice. Why don’t you come over here and put your mouth to better use?”

42) “I guess i’ll just get off all by myself”

Warnings: Smut. Sexual intercourse, vaginal sex, spanking, daddy kink, love making (kinda), arguing, swearing, angst and a sprinkle of fluff for good measure. That’s right, used all 3. 18+ you know the drill.

Word Count: 6,796

GIF NOT MINE!!! Credit to @cassercole go check them out💕

Do You Feel What I Feel?

After a long and interesting weekend, you’re a lot less eager to get back behind your desk to work for Andy Barber than you usually are. One reason in particular being that you’ve been dating other people behind his back. See the thing with you and Andy is that you’ve known him for 2 whole years, worked for him for 1 year and been fucking him since the evening of your very first day. He got you the job to work with him after you got laid off.

You met him after he showed up for one of your seminars at college and he gave a presentation on what it’s like to be a lawyer and you just clicked. But it was strictly platonic...until you showed up on that first day dressed in a knee length skirt, a semi sheer polka dot blouse with stockings and heels. He was shocked to say the least. You looked entirely different and he’d never seen you this way before. It turned him on and he let you know it. 

As you were packing your things away and bidding him goodbye for the day, he called you back into his office and instructed you to lock the door behind you before he began to inform you of the effect you had on him. Starting slowly by telling you how he was taken aback by your ability to think on your feet, use your initiative and then just like that, it all came out and he couldn’t control his hunger much longer. 

He kissed you so hard that night that the breath was knocked from your lungs but you loved it, you yearned for more of that feeling and he fucked you so good that you made it a regular thing, without even realising it was becoming one until it was too late. You’d just show up at each others places without a warning and before you knew it, he was fucking you into the mattress and making you cum with a cry of his name.

Now back to the present... you like Andy, in fact if you’re being truthful with yourself, you’ve fallen so madly in love with him that you know it’s time to quit him. He’s like a drug, an addiction and you need to stop going back for more. Hence why you decided that enough was enough. 

You met a guy online, his name is Ashley and he was more than keen to take you out so you happily obliged and sure you had a nice time but there’s just one issue lying in your way. Andy is unsuspecting of your little date and it’s been eating away at you since said date walked you back to your apartment. You know that you need to tell him but you fear that it’ll cost you your job, he did hire you to help you out after all.

Before you can wallow more in your choice to keep things from him, he calls you into his office and you haven’t even gotten any work done yet, you only sat down 5 minutes ago.

What could he possibly want so early on?

“Yes, Mr Barber?” you ask flirtatiously, making him glare up at you before gesturing for you to take a seat opposite him. Which you do.

“So today i’m gonna need you to file this paper work into the data base for me” he starts, lifting up a pile taller than the length of your forearm and now you’re annoyed for real this time. He knows full well that you’re still finishing off the stack from Friday and yet here he is presenting more work for you to do “get it done by the end of the day” he finishes, flashing you another stone cold glare as he looks back down at the paper on his desk, not even bothering to acknowledge your presence for a second longer.

Until you speak up “Andy, you know i’m still finishing off Frid....”

“That’s Mr Barber to you and you can leave now” his rude and snappy interruption makes you scoff as you shake your head at the tone in his voice, he’s not in any mood today to help you out or make exceptions. So you do as you’re told, hauling the heavy pile into your arms and lugging it back to your desk outside. Once it’s on your desk, you walk back to shut his door before he asks, making sure to slam it harder than needed to make it known that you’re angry with him.

He doesn’t seem to notice or care though.

Now to get started on all of this work that’ll probably mean you staying later tonight, just brilliant. Guess your second date with Ashley will have to be rescheduled.

------------------------

You finish off half of the pile by the time it gets to 1:30pm and you’re due a lunch break round about now so seeing as though Andy hasn’t left his office all day, you decide to pop out for some food with one of the other assistants, Stacey. Thank God you don’t have to face him since you have absolutely no clue what could have possibly rattled his cage this morning to make him snap at you like that. The two of you have always had this ongoing joke of you calling him Mr Barber and he usually allows you to call him by his first name until today when that alone was enough to anger him.

It’s obvious that you’ll have to put off telling him about your date until he’s in a better place to receive the news. You’re hoping that since he’s always been opposed to commitment that he’ll take it well but the halt in your fooling around might annoy him a little. It’s not your problem though, he always knew you were planning to eventually settle down.

Upon your return to your desk you find Andy sat in your chair, looking through your work “where the hell have you been?” he mutters as he avoids your eyes “you know what, don’t even bother making excuses, my office, NOW” you jump out of fear as he raises his voice slightly at you for the first time in the whole 2 years you’ve known him. Your anxious body shuffles into his office, scared of what’s about to happen.

“Was i not clear enough earlier Y/N? Hm? Because i specifically remember asking you to have this work done by the end of the day. You get off at half 4, it’s now half 2 and you’ve only done half. Do i pay you to galavant around town with Stacey or do i pay you to do your goddam job?”

In the 2 years that you’ve known Andy, he’s also never made you cry, yet here you are trying your absolute hardest not to let these tears fall in front of him.

“You pay me to do my job and i’ve tried my best to get it done. I-I’m sorry” you stand there awkwardly, picking at the torn skin around your fingernails as you stare hopelessly at your stilettos. “Well your best isn’t fucking good enough Y/N, try harder. You can stay here until all of the paperwork is done and that includes Friday’s load too now close the door on your way out”

Is he actually serious? He can’t be, surely. What is wrong with him?

“No” you stand tall, hands on your hips as you talk back and if he was angry before then now he’s livid with you “What do you mean no?” he questions, stepping towards you, hands in his pockets as he awaits your answer.

“I said, no. Just because you’re in a bad mood for whatever reason does NOT mean that you get to stand here and humiliate me. I said no and that’s final. I’ll do my best to get today’s work done before i leave but Friday’s work can wait and i don’t care what nasty comment you have in store to throw back at me”

His face screws up as he clenches his jaw again, you should feel really scared right about now, that comment might have just cost you this job but you don’t care. If that’s the case then you’ll walk out of here proud of yourself along with one less so called friend in your life.

“Bad mood? I’m furious and you don’t even know the half of it” he picks his phone up, tapping a couple times before handing it to you and walking back to his desk to sit down. You watch the clip in his camera roll, squinting as you try to make out the faces in it and then you realise that it’s you and Ashley. Fuck. He was there that night at your apartment, he was obviously coming to see you and you didn’t even know it. He must have seen you with another man and changed his mind. You feel awful as you look back at him, he just sighs once you place the phone onto his desk.

“Andy, i-i”

“Save it. If you wanted to cut our little deal off then you shoulda just said. I don’t appreciate being lied to Y/N and i don’t fancy talking about it with you for a minute longer so just do as your fucking told and get back to work”

All you can do is turn around and walk away since you’ve done enough damage already. But all you can think about is the look on his face after you watched the incriminating clip. He looked sad, broken even and it’s replaying in your brain over and over. Torturing you. 

This is why he’s been so nasty today, so demanding and harsh. He’s hurt that you lied to him, hurt that you were with someone else, even if it was just dinner. You still arranged a date with another man and went and what Andy has never wanted to admit before, not even to himself is that he really likes you. In fact no, he’s fallen madly in love with you. 

Every waking moment of his life is spent with you on his mind. You even corrupt his dream world too and it’s gotten out of control. Saturday he decided it was time to cut your little deal off and start over. He was going to do it right, confess his feelings, ask you on a date and then take you out and treat you like a princess.

Ever since he laid his blue eyes on you that first time when he was doing the presentation in your class at college, he liked you. You asked so many questions, engaged a lot in the debates and he knew then that you were going to play an important role in his life. And you have. You became close friends, going out regularly and doing things like bowling and eating dinner together more than a handful of times. He enjoyed your company and you enjoyed his but there was this unspoken rule that you had to remain just friends. He wasn’t ready for anything serious and you were still not over your ex.

But then when you walked through his office door on your first day dressed in that skirt, those heels and stockings and lets not forget about that blouse. He was trying his hardest not to drool. One things for sure though, he was painfully hard for you.

When he came to your apartment Saturday and saw you outside your door with some preppy douchebag who was around your age, he felt this lump in his throat form as his heart ached. Sure he expected you to get a man eventually after all you are 24 and he’s in his 30’s. But he didn’t expect it to happen so soon. He also didn’t expect you to have such an effect on him the way you have but here he is, angry at you for moving on without telling him and angry that you aren’t his anymore. 

He feels bad for shouting at you today, for being so harsh with his words. He could see the tears pooling in your eyes right away but he was too pissed off to stop and now he’s almost certain that any friendship the two of you had is gone for good thanks to his vile actions.

Another 2 hours tick by and you’re still working at your pile, you’ve still got a lot left being that he’s included Friday’s in your load too. It’s going to be a long night so you pick your phone up and call Ashley.

“Ashley hey, it’s uh, it’s Y/N. Listen, i have to work late today so i won’t be able to make it” you announce and as he responds, Andy opens his door but you don’t notice.

“Rain check? Uh...” you trail off, trying your hardest to decide if you even want to see him again. It’s like you’re torn. On one hand you have Andy, your dream man. A man who knows your body like the back of his hands and a man who can more than likely take care of you if you just took a leap and told him about your feelings but then on the other hand you have Ashley. A guy who is your age and who makes you laugh a hell of a lot. Before you can even decide though, you hear a cough behind you. It’s Andy.

“Ashley can i call you back? It’s just now’s not really a good time, i have a lot of work to get done”

You hang up the phone as your eyes are locked onto Andy’s and the moment your phone is placed back onto your desk he wraps his large hand around your wrist, lifting you up off your chair and tugging you into his office. You watch as he locks the door behind him before going back to sitting behind his desk.

“You gonna see him again?” he asks, jaw clenched.

“I-I uh, i don’t know. I’m a little torn right now” your eyes settle on his plump pink lips, wanting nothing more than to bite down on his bottom one as you sink down onto his cock but you’re dirty thoughts come to a staggering halt as he speaks. “Torn with what? You like him right?” why is he asking you these things? Is he trying to torture himself with the details.

“Yes i mean no i mean I don’t know. I like him but i don’t think i can date him”

“How come?”

“Because i like someone else, in fact i love someone else”

Andy feels his heart sink further as more cracks appear threatening to shatter it completely. You love someone else and now he’s truly out of the game.

Rage works it’s way back into his body and he can’t help but take it out on you “did you sleep with him? Huh? Did the douche bag get to fuck that tight cunt of yours?”

At first you find him funny, laughing as you look around the room, anywhere but his eyes but then your own rage sets in.

“Not that it’s any of your business but no, he didn’t. We had dinner and that’s it” you state, matter of factly as you place your hands back onto your hips..

“Bullshit”

“Is that what you really think of me Andy? You think i’d just give it up to any guy that even looked my way. Wow, i knew you were a lot of things but vicious was definitely not one of them and what’s that i smell? Is it jealousy? Surely not.” you tut, shaking your head “I don’t think i even know you at all by the looks of things if you thought lying to me was better than being honest and trust me, i’m not jealous in the slightest, in fact i pity you. It’s your sex life that will suffer” he doesn’t falter for even a second as he stares you down and just as he anticipated, you’re the first one to break, looking away from him. You can’t help the way your heart starts to race from all of the fury filling up your body. How dare he.

“I was only keeping it from you until i found the right time to tell you. And don’t you dare think for one second that just because we’ve slept together that you have any right to comment on my sex life. You made it perfectly clear that monogamy wasn’t your thing so don’t be mad when i finally want to move on from being someone’s fuck buddy” you spit, heat rising to your cheeks as you realise what you just said. Fuck.

“I’ll comment on whatever i fucking want to so quit the bitching and yeah, i don’t do commitment but i sure as hell wouldn’t be with you even if i did”

You don’t respond to him this time, there’s no quick comeback to fire his way, no insult that could mean you having the upper hand again. Nothing is left but shock and disappointment. He really said that, he really played on your biggest insecurity. He played on it and used it to his advantage, to get the upper hand and win the argument.

“What? Got nothing to say?” he snorts, smug grin on his face. Watch his smile disappear now...

“I love you, Andy” you finally get the words out and you feel as if you’re going to choke on them and die right here in his office. Cause of death, unrequited love.

“W-what?” he’s practically speechless, his words barely audible.

“I’m so madly in love with you and i have been for a while now. But i continued to shut my feelings out and reject other guys because i came to the realisation that having you in any way that i could would be enough for me even if it meant that i couldn’t have you in the way that i’ve always wanted. But none of this matters now, right? Because you’ve made it pretty clear how you feel and where you stand. You wouldn’t date me even you did date and that’s fine but at least now both our cards are on the table”

He looks up at you, using his index finger to force you to look back at him and when you do, he looks so deep into your eyes almost as if he’s attempting to see into your soul. Like he’s trying to search for any signs of dishonesty.

“Why didn’t you just tell me? Instead of going out with other guys you shoulda told me and been honest about it?” is all he can say and that’s the last response you expected but what catches you off guard the most is how he said it, almost like he was hurt and relieved simultaneously.

“Andy, you’re my boss and you made it clear that you didn’t want a relationship” he has absolutely no right to lecture you about honesty when he’s spent the entire time he’s known you blabbering on about how the single life is better for him and how he’d hate to be tied down again. You roll your eyes as you move away from him when he attempts to move closer.

Silence falls upon the two of you and it seems never ending, leaving you no choice but to leave. The moment you turn around to walk away he’s on his feet too “where are you going?” the tone his voice makes it sound as though he’s pleading for you to stay without actually saying the words.

“I’m going back to my desk to do my fucking job, just like you told me to do earlier” you turn back around but just as you expected, he stops you “look. I’m sorry, okay. I was just mad that you”

“Mad about what? That i went out on a date? I’m a single woman Andy and despite our little deal, i don’t belong to you so you have no right to be mad at me for doing what any other single person does”

He bites down on his bottom lip as he runs his fingers through his perfectly styled locks, messing them up instantly “God, you’re so fucking infuriating”

“I’m infuriating? You really are clueless to your own behaviour aren’t you? I just told you that i love you and you still haven’t told me if you feel the same. So i think that says it all, don’t you?” you stop yourself before continuing your rant, trying your hardest to prevent something worse slipping out. Right now in your state, you’re bound to say things that you don’t mean and will later regret. “you know what, i think i’m gonna take the work load home and complete it there. I’ll see you tomorrow, if i still have a job that is” you raise your brows at him, praying he doesn’t fire you for your attitude alone. But to your surprise he doesn’t.

“You really think that low of me? That i’d ever fire you because of what’s going on between us outside of this office? Wow” he leans back on his desk and his shoulders drop as he slumps over, looking down at his large calloused hands.

“It’s what i assumed would happen. You’re really gonna pretend like you don’t want me gone after today?”

“I don’t, believe it or not. But i have no time to deal with this discussion any longer, i have to leave early today” he says as he goes back to sitting behind his desk again and turning his computer back on “i don’t expect you to stay any longer, you can take that work home and finish it after your date” he mutters the last few words, pulling a face as if they make him sick.

“Really? We’re back to that again. God i’ve had it with you” you spit, biting down on the inside of your cheek before strutting over to the door but his hand stops you before you even get yours on the lock.

“Let me go Andy. I don’t even want to look at you, let alone be stuck in a room with you” harsh, but in this moment it’s true. He’s done nothing but upset you all day long and even after your stupid decision to confess your love for him, he’s still doing it. You feel so defeated right now that you can’t take another second of his shit.

“Just one more thing and then you’re free to go and fuck whoever you want, whenever you want. How many guys have you been on dates with since we started hooking up?” the desperation is evident in his eyes as they pierce into yours, searching again but this time for the answers before you can even open your mouth to give them to him “one. It was only one date on Saturday night with Ashley” and that’s the truth. You would never repeatedly date behind his back, this was a one off. A one off you’re regretting more as the seconds tick by.

An awkward silence falls upon the two of you once more as he walks back over to his desk, pacing next to it and creating a draft. “Are you planning to see him again?” and he’s back with more questions. Why does he care so much?

He clearly doesn’t love you too otherwise he’d have said it once you confessed your feelings for him. Instead he left you looking like the biggest joke ever, the clown. And you feel so mortified for even believing he’d say it back.

Silly little Y/N, always catching feelings for men who don’t feel the same way back. You’re starting to feel as though you’ll never find someone.

But still his behaviour has you second guessing him. Maybe he does like you and that’s why he’s acting so hurt.

“Maybe i will, after all i am single. That shouldn’t be a problem, should it Andy?” you know full well that you’re pushing down hard on his buttons and you can see his cheeks turn red as his knuckles turn white from his tight grip on the side of the table.

“What you don’t like that? You don’t like the thought of me on top of Ashley, sinking down onto his cock as he touches my body and kis -”

Out of nowhere he interrupts you, slamming his fist down onto his desk “dammit, Y/N, what is it with you? Trying to make me jealous? Because i’ve had just about enough of you running your mouth” he pulls one of the chairs out, falling into it and spreading his legs “In fact. I’m so sick of your voice. Why don’t you come over here and put your mouth to better use? Huh? Maybe then you’ll shut up about that fucking douche bag” he is jealous, it’s so obvious to you now. He’s jealous of Ashley, jealous of the possibility of him spending time with you and he hates the thought of someone stealing you away from his tight grasp.

You can’t quite believe your ears or your eyes as he spreads his legs further, grazing his hand over the tent in his dress trousers and you can’t help the gulp that follows.

“Andy”

“Shhh, enough talking. I don’t have it in me anymore to argue with you, just come here” he insists but you stand your ground “no. i can’t keep going round and round in circles with you with absolutely no end in sight and with no hope for you to reciprocate how i feel. I’m sorry but i’m leaving”

Yet again, as expected, he clears his throat “fine. I guess i’ll just get off all by myself”

Like they always do around Andy, your legs turn to jelly and your eyes glaze over along with your better judgement being clouded by x rated thoughts of him railing you. The idea of him touching himself, working his hand expertly around his girthy cock causes arousal to flood your panties. How dare your body betray you like this. How dare your mind do the same. It’s not fair that every time you think you have the upper hand and the dominance, he comes along, snatching it away from you and proving you wrong.

You have absolutely no idea why you’re about to do what you’re about to do other than the fact that your body gravitates toward him like a magnet and it’s out of your control.

So without a second longer to fester or overthink, you spin around on your heels, charging towards him. Andy watches in awe as you drop to your knees and make quick work of his belt. Once you free his cock from the confines of his black Calvin Kleins and into your small hand you spot the droplets of precum oozing out of the slit on his red bulbous head. You look up at him through your eyelashes, batting them as you give the tip a couple of kitten licks before spitting all over his shaft and pumping him agonisingly slow.

“Fuck” he groans, rolling his eyes back as he grips the arm rests on the chair when you take him into your mouth “attagirl, sucking daddy’s cock like a fucking pro” his hands grip your face as he continues to watch you go to work, making a mess of yourself as you gag around him,

You don’t bother to issue a warning before taking all of him in your mouth, all the way down to his balls over and over. Making sure to hollow out your cheeks as you bob your head up and down, your tongue licking the underside of him as your hands grasp his balls. He starts bucking his hips up, attempting to fuck your mouth but you push him back down as a whole batch of unholy sounds that only you can elicit from him fall from his perfect lips, the sounds that are so loud and downright filthy that he has no option but to cover his mouth with his hand, biting down one of his thick digits to keep from exposing himself to his unsuspecting colleagues outside.

He soon pulls you off and you do so with a pop. He forces you to look up at him, his hand grabbing your cheeks and squeezing aggressively “no matter what undeserving boys you go out on a date with, no matter who flirts with you. You’re mine, always have been and always will be” he moves you to straddle his lap before he stands up to move the two of you to the couch.

“So no more dates princess, no more other guys. Because i’m the only one who gets to have you. Is that clear?” he cocks his brow up at you and you nod in response before mumbling a quick “yes” to satisfy his need for confirmation and assurance.

He lifts your knee length dress up to your stomach before he gets to touching you, squeezing at your ass cheeks a little too hard for your liking but you secretly love the way he gets so rough with your body, the way he smacks both ass cheeks repeatedly until you wince from how sore he’s made you.

“God, these clothes drive me crazy. Ever since that first day i met you, i’ve wanted you and when you started working here, i was so desperate to fuck you as you wore these stockings and these heels. You’re so fucking hot, princess and you have no idea how crazy you drive me when you bend over, shoving this ass in my face”

He starts to kiss your neck, sloppy open mouthed kisses on the spot that has your back arching as you grip onto the back of his neck to steady yourself. He’s working you up all the more, turning the pool in your panties into a river. You’re dripping wet for him, desperate for him to just fuck your greedy pussy, desperate to clench down around his cock as he pounds into you.

“You’ve done it before Andy. Many times in fact”

His kisses halt as he smirks at you, that devilish look in his eyes. It always drives you wild “do it again, please, i need it” you beg pathetically and much to your surprise, he does exactly that. He takes your panties, tugging them to the side and playing with your soaked core a little as well as touching your bundle of nerves. You whine into the crook of his neck as you urge him to hurry before he eventually pulls his pants further down his legs to position himself at your entrance better. You don’t even have time to breathe before he’s knocking the air from your lungs as he fucks himself to the hilt inside of you.

The way his pace continues to pick up until it’s rendering on animalistic is causing you to let out the loudest and sexiest sounds, it’s like music to his ears but he can’t have anyone hearing this. He flips the two of you over so that you’re below him, your legs pushed back to your head and you hold them in place. His hand covers your mouth as he slides himself back in, not making any effort to start slow “you’d better be quiet or everyone’s going to know what a naughty little slut you are” he continues with rough snaps of his hips as he fucks into you with reckless abandon and causing the sweet music you make to vibrate onto his hand.

“Yeah, like this? Like the way i fuck this pretty little cunt?”

Thrust

“Bet his cock couldn’t even touch what mine does to you, the way you cry out for more and scream my name every time. The way i can make you cum with just my words and my fingers. God, such a dirty little girl for me, ain’t that right, princess?”

Satisfied hums follow his questions along with a frantic nod as you feel the coil tightening in your stomach, like a knot twisting and pulling, you’re so unbelievably close that you can almost taste the impending orgasm. “Don’t make a fucking sound when i move my hand, okay?” again you nod in response and he moves his hand, smiling down at you with adoration in his eyes before moving his hand to your aching sex. His fingers pressing down onto your bundle of nerves, rubbing firm circles on it and as soon as your walls flutter around him, he knows your close.

“Gonna cum, huh? Gonna make a mess all over my cock? My filthy girl, go on baby, cream all over me”

Just like that, along with his permission you let everything go, allowing yourself to really feel the pleasure. Your walls flutter around him again and again and each time he pulls out of you he spots your juices as they cover his cock beautifully. The sight alone has his hips snapping harder, the sound of his skin slapping against yours bounces off of the walls in his office and you accidentally let out a lewd moan that he swallows with his kiss as you wrap your legs around him to pull him closer “cum for me daddy” your encouragement sends his entire world spinning as his thrusts stagger. 

His cock jolts inside of you, twitching like crazy before his cream fills you up deliciously, painting your walls in thick ropes. You arch your back as your arms wrap around his neck. You need to feel his lips on yours.

He kisses you so hard that your teeth clash, making the two of you chuckle into each others mouths before attempting again. This time his tongue forces it’s way past your lips, battling with yours as he rides the two of you through your dramatic and intense highs.

Once his hips still and he pulls out, he flops down next to you. The two of you are nothing but a panting mess. Chests rising and falling along with your erratic heart beats.

“I love you too” he confesses, making you gasp as you turn your head to look at his spent body, the way his eyes meet yours and tears pool in them has your eyes doing the same.

“Andy”

“I’m not finished. I’ve felt this connection with you since the day i first met you, it caught me completely off guard. When we made the deal for it to be just friends, i was upset. I wanted a lot more but i know i wasn’t ready just yet. But the way you’d draw out laughter from me that no one else has ever been able to and the way you’d boss me around only made my feelings grow. Then we fucked and it was like confirmation to me that i was well and truly screwed. But i kept coming back for more because it was like an addiction, i had to have you in any way that was possible and if sex was the only way then i’d have stayed single forever just to keep you close. I’d have done anything to be able to hold your body and kiss your neck and make you feel good. If doing that as just your fuck buddy was the only way then so be it. But i got to a point where just fucking you wasn’t enough. I wanted something real with you. So on Saturday-” before he can even finish you sigh, sitting up.

“You came to tell me how you felt? Andy, why didn’t you just say that earlier?” you don’t know how to feel right now. You’re so consumed by emotions that your head is spinning. One one hand you’re angry, annoyed and upset that he kept this from you and didn’t just tell you he felt the same when you confessed how you felt. But then on the other hand you’re relieved and happy that he does feel the same. This was never some unrequited love, it’s always been reciprocated and real. 

All the lingering stares you’d catch, all of the compliments thrown your way and the insults hurled at random guys who’d ogle you whenever you were out in public with him or whenever another guy at work would take an interest.

“I saw you with that guy Y/N and i broke down. Then today, i expected you to come in and talk to me about it but instead you sat down at your desk, acted normal and didn’t say a word. I was hurt that you’d keep this from me. I know we both felt these things and i know both of us were unaware of the feelings being reciprocated but you still didn’t tell me you’d even thought about seeing other people and i guess i just expected more from you, more honesty”

He’s right. You don’t have it in you to argue because he’s right. He might have had his reasons for hiding his true feelings but you hid your date from him and that’s a lot worse. How was he supposed to just come out with it when all he could think of was you with Ashley.

“You’re right. I was wrong, i didn’t even think about the effect it would have and i was selfish. To tell you the truth i only went out with that guy because i was trying to move on from you, i didn’t want to keep feeling this strongly with no possibility of you feeling the same so i did the first thing i knew to do, date some other guy”

Andy can’t say he isn’t relieved to hear you admit that preppy college boy means nothing to you but it’s bitter sweet, you saying that you thought your feelings were one sided so you wanted to move on to avoid getting hurt further makes him hurt too. You’ve always meant more to him than just some friendship or some steamy sex. You’re the first woman he’s even looked twice at since Laurie and that means a whole lot more than you’ll ever know or understand.

“So what now?” you ask, puppy dog eyes showing as you await his response.

“I know it’s a bit backwards but how about a date tomorrow?”

God, he really is so handsome, so sweet. His deep and raspy chuckles make you giggle along with him as you straddle him once again, crashing your lips to his, his beard scratching at your face just the way you like.

He pulls away for a second “is that a yes?” once more you shake your head, tutting at him “a thousand times yes, Mr Barber. Yes i’ll go out with you” he wraps his arms around you as he pulls you flush against his suit clad torso, kissing you eagerly and smiling into it. He finally got the girl.

---------------------------------

General Tags: @deadlymistress24 @coffeebooksandfandom @chris-butt @holtzkinnon @mychemicalimagines @llamadelreyx @haus-of-bitch-talk @buckstaybucky @thewinchestergirl1208 @chrissquares @patzammit @dummiesshort @cevans-fics @americasass91 @toni9 @aaliferous @bradfordmyworld @thereisa8ella @kaminorogers @yassspose @randomsevans 

Just Chris & His Characters Tags: @onetwo3000 @persephonequeenofthedead @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @mrsbbarnesrogers @princess-evans-addict @stxvercgersslut @chris-evanslover @bval-1 @thejemersoninferno @denisemarieangelina @janeyboo @evansphnx12 @dwights-new-plague @whxre4cevans 

LMK if you want to be added to any of my tag lists...

[sunkaashi]

— OVERTIME

↬ Pairing. College!Atsumu x Manager!Reader

↬ Genre. Fluff. A hint of enemies to lovers if you look really closely.

↬ Warnings. Mentions of alcohol. I guess nothing else? Let me know if you think I'm wrong!

↬ Summary.  Atsumu Miya is hopelessly in love with you, but how could he ever catch your attention if all you do is ignore him? Well, maybe his plan starts to work out when he finds out that whenever he stays longer for practice, you have to stay too.

↬ Word count. 1.7k

↬ tris' note: I wrote this in the spur of the moment, but I had so much fun! feedbacks are extremely appreciated! if you wanna be added to my general taglist, fill out this form.

anyways, did you know that only hot people reblog the works they like? NO? well, now you do ;) jk, but reblogs help me tons and I'm very grateful for them <3

Sweat dripped down the back of ATSUMU's neck as he jogged around the college tracks for the nth time that afternoon.

"Just one more lap." He kept telling himself over and over again as if repeating it would make it any less of a lie.

But who could blame him when this was the only moment of the day that he could spend with you? When he just knew that, by the end of that turn, you'd be there to receive him, water bottle and towel in hand? If anything, that just drove him more and more motivated to get to the finish line.

Those seconds in which your hands slightly brushed off against each other's; the way you laughed whenever he tripped over himself, too tired to carry on; the sarcastic sneer on your face every time you scolded him for wasting your time, but still wouldn't leave. To Atsumu, that was his reward, better than any shining trophy.

"Oi! Miya!" Your voice woke him up from his trance as the blonde boy finally shot up a glance at you. He rested with his hands on his knees, chest going up and down in strong and unsteady motions, legs still trembling a bit from the training. "We've been here for almost two hours! Everybody has left already, and I want to go home for God's sake!"

Atsumu snickered at the way your voice got higher with each word, deflecting from his gaze while you said you wanted to leave. He also didn't miss how you knitted your eyebrows together just before going off at him, carefully scanning his shaky body.

"Ya could've left, ya know? I never asked ya to stay!" He replied, smirking a little while making sure to stare right into your pupils.

If eyes are the windows to the soul, that must be the reason yours were so beautiful to him. As he tried to get an answer through them, he also delighted himself in such a vision. That's why he was quick to notice their slight tremble at his remark.

"And leave you to die?!" Your voice, once again, cut him off of his daydreams. "You've been running for more than an hour after a pretty rough practice, if you go into cardiac arrest who's gonna call an ambulance?! I'm the team manager, I don't want any deaths on my back!"

In his defense, he was only there because of you, but — obviously — he wouldn't tell you that. He decided to just laugh it off.

"Well, that's something you don't see every day!" He teased.

"What?!"

"Yer’ worried ‘bout me!" Atsumu said, trying to suppress the smile forming in the corner of his mouth.

Even though his tone was playful, he knew something was off when his words were left hanging in the air, no snarky comments added to the back-and-forth banter you were both so used to.

Seeing your widened eyes, he started to question if he was right or, worse, if he had crossed a line.

You gulped down as if this would prevent you from spilling something you shouldn't say. Atsumu was dying to know what it was.

This had become a little routine of yours. Staying for a couple more hours after practice as you helped him out for a while. At first, he knew you're just doing your job, after all, you were there to assist the boys, it didn't matter who they were. Still, he couldn't shake the thought that maybe, just maybe, something had changed as the months went by.

He remembered it perfectly. It wasn't that long before that you used to curse him for making you lose such precious time of your day. He knew you had your reasons! Staying overtime underneath the unforgiving sun, having to catch up on your studies while sitting beside the filthy running tracks, surrounded by sweaty and dirty athletes.

Even so, it wasn't pleasant for him either. Jogging for endless hours, the summer heat consuming him as if hell were just around the corner.

Usually, he would run only half of those miles. But how could he stop? How could he stop knowing that the minute he did, you'd have to go home, and he would only see you the next day? No, he needed more time to win you over. He needed those small talks in between his breaks. He needed every single one of the few glances you exchanged every time he ran past you. He needed to hear you giggling at his jokes at least once more.

What once felt like dragging insufferable after hours, began to seem like less and less time over the weeks. Those little details were what made it all worth it. They were his private entrance to heaven.

And he believed that you might've been starting to feel the same way too.

He'd caught the way your lips curled up into a shy smile the last time he'd offered to walk you home. He also had noticed how your irises shined a bit brighter whenever he bought you food, worried because he knew you'd be there with him for those extra periods. He'd seen the way you laughed at his childhood stories just a tad too hard, always asking for another one.

Atsumu had always been aware of how he comes off to people: the arrogant self-centered jock. He never really cared about any of those things, but he did care about how you perceived him. The man just hoped that soon enough, you'd learn he was more than what others wanted him to be. Not a pretentious athlete, albeit a normal guy as any other, just with an ambitious goal set to his mind. And whenever you shared one of those intimate moments, he thought that, perhaps, you were one of the few people that actually saw him for who he was.

Still, that didn't make it any easier to admit the feelings he'd developed for you.

"Oi! Are ya alright?" Atsumu said, trying to catch your attention, a delicate expression laying on his countenance. "I'm sorry if I overstepped in any way, ‘kay? It was a joke, I promise." You didn't answer him just yet.

"Hey!" He proceeded, lifting your chin up so you'd look at him. "Now I'm the one getting worried 'bout ya! Snap out of it and get back to hating on me before ya realize I might have a heart!" Atsumu mocked himself, but shied away from your glare while doing so.

At least he'd made you chuckle.

“I always knew you had one, Miya." You said, rolling your eyes at the man. “I just didn’t know it worked!”

“Oya! That was mean!”

“Isn’t that what you wanted?” You asked, arching your brows.

“Well, maybe, but it wouldn’t hurt if ya were a little nicer to me once in a while!”

“Yeah? How so?” The words slipped past your lips without missing a beat, and Atsumu couldn’t help but wonder if the flirtatious undertone was something he had only imagined. He decided to take the bait.

“For starters...” Atsumu began, slowly making his way closer to where you were standing. “Ya could buy me a beer after we’re done here.” Was he crazy or did he really see your shoulders relaxing at his words?

“Oh, is that easy?” You responded in the same toying manner.

“Hold up!” He said, raising his hands to the air. “That’s just the first step!”

“And then what?”

“And then…” Atsumu continued, moving further towards your figure. “Then ya could let me hear that beautiful laugh of yers a few more times.” He completed, stealing a giggle out of you. “Just like that.”

“Great, so I’m halfway through it.” Your tone may have been monotonous, but your eyes told him otherwise. “Anything else or can we get this over with?”

“Maybe, while yer’ laughing, ya could finally realize that I’m not as bad as ya think I am.” He pondered, moving a loose strand of hair out of your features, clearing the view to your gaze.

“Now you wanna tell me what to think?” You scoffed, crossing your arms.

“Is just a suggestion! Take it as ya wish!” He winked at you.

“And what if I told you that I already did?”

“Ya did?” This time, he sounded soft, breaking out of the teasy character for a second.

“You’re not bad, Miya... Far from that.” 

“Well, that’s a shock.”

“You don’t look surprised.” You stated, pointing out the crescent grin on his face.

“Too much wishful thinking made me ready for this moment.”

“And what exactly is this moment… Atsumu?” The way you said his name, in a hushed voice, almost like a secret meant to be shared by only the both of you, gave him the green light he needed to go on.

“It’s when I finally kiss ya.” 

Atsumu was quick to grab your waist, pulling you closer to his chest, and finally closing the gap between you two. His gawk rapidly traveled from your mouth to your eyes, longing for a confirmation. It didn’t take a second after your subtle nod for him to merge your lips together, your body melting at his touch. His grasp was gentle, but firm, like you were something he treasured, something that he never wanted to let go of. And by the way you gripped onto his neck, the boy could tell he wasn’t alone in this.

Atsumu moved his palms all the way up your back, briefly running his fingers through your hair, but resting them upon finding your face. His tender touch cupped your cheeks in between his hands, pushing away just when he inevitably ran out of breath. 

"Do I still have to buy you that beer or is this nice enough for you?" You said, unable to repress a smile.

“Hm, I’m not sure… Why don’t you kiss me again and we'll see?"

© sunkaashi — 2021.  all rights reserved. do not repost, plagiarise it, translate it nor reproduce this post as your own.