#Finally wrote a post where I have a reason to turn off reblogs....

[beyondthetemples-ooc]

I find myself single again, and I find myself thinking too many thoughts to figure out what they Mean for me.

This is less of a recording and more me trying to work out what I'm thinking and feeling. The best way to do that for me is by writing it down.

I've been mulling it over for hours. Almost 24 of them, in fact.

We were together a long time. It was 9 years and 7 months. I thought, shouldn't this hurt more? Shouldn't my whole world be rocked sideways? Shouldn't I feel a loss, a grief, a gaping void; shouldn't ten years of a relationship coming to an end give me at least five years of pain?

I had time to prepare, I think. There was awareness, and then there was concern, and then there was resignation. I think I resigned myself to this a long time ago. Maybe even before it was explicitly spoken, and I think having that time to prepare myself and come to terms with it immensely softened the blow.

I was able to talk with a couple of friends last night, and they helped me understand that it's okay to not have my heart rent to pieces over it.

But I'm still puzzling over why it both hurts, and doesn't.

I did cry. I cried before the news itself broke because I had a feeling long before it was discussed. I cried talking to my mother about it. I've cried long before it happened yesterday, because I knew something was different, something was wrong, but I didn't know how to approach it, to broach it, to voice my concerns, because they were all so frustratingly vague.

And truth be told, I was trying to cling to what was Good. We didn't get to see each other much; I didn't want to take precious time away from Enjoying Ourselves.

But I should have learned by now: My instincts are Good. Whether I want to be or not, I'm Aware of Other Peoples' Emotions. They affect me, I can read the feelings themselves, but I don't get any sort of telepathic confirmation or instinct for WHY people feel the way they do, I just Sense The Sensations. Some empaths get that explanation in tow. Lucky them.

I don't. I only know Why people feel what they feel around me when I've Asked about it. When they Talk about it.

It's so strange to think of myself as a wordsmith, and then look at the conversations that matter most, and look at how rarely I have them. My greatest strength is my words. Why don't I wield them?

Well, after thinking it over, setting aside the easy cop-out ("afraid of conflict", because I'm not), the fact that I didn't know how (there's no script for this), and the inability to separate what I'm feeling from myself versus what I'm feeling from someone else…

At the heart of it, I don't always KNOW what I'm feeling.

One of the things I've always related to NTT!Raven on was the inability to sort my feelings, to "feel my way through" them, to inspect them. I could introspect my reason and motivations and come up with a treasure trove of self-realizations, but to ask myself what I'm feeling emotionally is to dive into the ocean's depths and darkness with only a glowstick. I can't see much at all. I can only explore the smallest increments at a time, and will only ever have the briefest bit illuminated.

So over the past 36 or so hours, I've been wondering: Was love what I was feeling? Romantically inclined love, the stuff of storytales?

I think I was in love. I do now, yes.

And I think I liked it.

See, I had a tag specifically for My Significant Other. And I looked back through it today. Not all of the posts were S.O. exclusive; some of them WERE feelings I had for friends and my QPP and all the members of my found family, too.

But there were also posts weren't. Silly, delightful, mushy, sappy romantic dating-specific feelings that made me smile.

When my feelings are too strong, I can't put them to words. It's another paradox in my being such a self-aware writer. But I would see posts, and they would light up an array of fireworks in me, and I'd reblog them smiling like an idiot. Thinking, specifically, of him.

But here's the thing. I sensed the encroaching distance. The distance dulled my wits, dulled my feelings, sharpened my nerves.

I think, in my own anxiety, when things went dark and silent, when he went dark on me, I feared what it meant.

And, truthfully, I feared to lose him.

I can say with absolute certainty that the fact that he'll still be in my life, even if it's just as a friend (albeit a very good one), was an immense relief to me. I was worried the pulling away meant he'd break Everything off. That I had somehow become unbearable.

But no, just the romance. I don't think I'll be bitter, or angry. Wistful, maybe. Sometimes even mournful. Because this was the first time I've ever felt, with any degree of certainty, that I loved someone romantically.

(Besides, you know, fictional characters. But even then, I only toy with ideas and the occasional fantasy and mostly just channel my feelings through other people in the stories.)

With him, it was all me, my own feelings, me acting on them. And I do think it was all genuine, certainly so from my end.

And I did like being in a relationship. I liked being That Person to someone else. I loved being That Person for him.

I was happy to make extra effort to make him feel loved, valued, to put the Significant in Significant Other. I wanted to. I stretched my limits, tried new things, stepped out of my comfort zone because he made me want to. I enjoyed that, too.

But I also don't feel any sort of desperation, or even desire, to replace it. I don't want my life to be Married With Kids. For as long as I can remember, when I looked to adulthood, I saw myself living happily alone, or after seeing Teen Titans, living in a home surrounded by friends.

(Funny to be living that dream at long, long last, at age 30…)

But still, Something Hurt.

I worried, was I sad to be losing him as a partner, or to be losing the sense of love?

I think it's both, now. Feeling Loved on that level had left a long time ago. I guess maybe I was just holding onto hope that a spark would reignite. Because I did like it.

I was waiting. I was hoping. But time marched on, and that hope faded farther and farther into the horizon.

I don't know how to stop hoping, really. I can't let myself. I hold tight to the smallest modicum of faith, and while I remain a realist, weighing evidence of what will happen and what is the most likely outcome, I still privately think "Maybe… Maybe."

Until I'm faced with the fact that it is, indeed, over.

Like I was yesterday. Like I am now.

And I don't know what to do with myself. I'm not amidst a wreckage. I'm not floating, lost at sea. I'm not smoldering amidst ashes or beating myself into a pulp over it.

(Maybe, if it had happened six years ago, I would be. I would have blamed myself into oblivion. But we had a good talk over it. I had ample time to prepare, to read the signs, to come to terms with it. I know now that it's not anybody's fault if feelings fade, it just… happens sometimes.)

I'm just… resigned.

I think a friend was right yesterday, that mourning may come later.

Like I said, I don't have desperate hopes and dreams and desires for a romantic relationship.

But it was nice while it lasted.

And if it ever happens again, I wouldn't mind. But by all the gods, is anyone else going to have to work Hard to hold up to how that felt with him.

[satxnsupreme666]

Love in the darkest hour: Agatha Harkness x fem!reader x Rio Vidal

Masterlist

Requested by: @perfectartisanwerewolf

Summary: During Agatha´s trial, you are the one that gets possessed, Rio and Agatha get protective of you but you end up getting hurt, your girlfriends feel guilty and all of the wicthes get worried about you.

Warnings: Reader gets hurt, mention of wounds, broken bones, angst and fluff,  I think that´s it (Oh, and English is not my first language but I still try hard to check my own grammar)

Word count:  6k+

Author’s notes: In this story Alice does not die.

Hello, this was a requested story, and I wanted to write it before posting the final old stories I wrote three years ago, sorry that I took three days to write this and that is not longer, but I will be honest, I divide my time between doing nothing at all or doing everything at the same time (that means writing, reading, listening to some music, playing something, watching a movie etc.)

I hope this is what you were waiting for @perfectartisanwerewolf ♥️

I hope you like it! ♥️

If you enjoy, could you comment, like or reblog? it would help a lot really ♥️

Taglist: @midnight-lestrange  @eliscannotdance

“We’re ok” Agatha announced after all of you had had to fly away from the Salem seven, it had been close, really close, all of you really needed to be more careful, you still were worried about those entities trying to get Agatha, she had told you that you didn’t need to worry about, but still, you didn’t want that something happened to Agatha.

“No, we’re not, the entire Halloween aisle’s outside waiting for us” Maybe Jenn was right, could they be really outside?

“Well it doesn’t look like they can get in, does it? All we have to do is complete the trial and continue on before they can get us” Her sentence seemed to calm everyone a little bit, Jenn seemed to relax a little.

“My spell book, I can’t find it!” The teen started to look inside his little bag.

“Where’d you have it last time?” Lilia tried to reason with him so he could think clearly.

“Flying on a broom” The teen sounded sad, so you went towards him and put your hand on his shoulder, you felt bad for him, you wanted to reassure him somehow.

“Forget about it, you can take the training wheels off” The older witch said to him still standing in front of the door.

The teen looked at you and Lilia with a sad expression.

“Hey it’s alright, Agatha’s right, you don’t need it, all of those spells that were on your notebook are also there inside your head, you know all of them, so don’t worry alright?” He seemed to understand because he quickly smiled at you and nodded.

Agatha saw the interaction with a smile on her face, she loved how you were be able to make everyone feel better; you knew how to cheer someone up, you could not only heal physical wounds, but also wounds that were not visible and that only hurt people emotionally.

You sensed someone watching you and turned to look at the direction where you sensed the gaze on you, Agatha was looking at you from her place, she was staring at you with so much love, she winked at you and smiled back at her.

“Look at you!” The teen suddenly said to you, you looked back at him and then at your clothes, noticing the style of the clothes that you were wearing, it was kind of like the ones in the slasher movies you liked to watch.

Looking back at the teen in front of you, you noticed his shirt and shorts as well, glancing back at the other witches you realized they were wearing the same clothing style, same thing that had happened during the last trials, you still wondered when would be your trial and what theme would it be, would it have a creepy vibe? With maybe a haunted house? Or maybe an abandoned house in the middle of a forest? A hill? You were excited to find out.

“You look like one of the teens from those eighties and nineties slasher movies” You had to tell him, if not you knew the idea would never leave your mind.

He took a glance at his clothes and then at the surroundings, he could not deny that you were right, all of you looked like one the main characters of a slasher movie set in the 80’s or 90’s, he remembered something so suddenly that he had to take you by your shoulders, you giggled before he even had the chance to say what had crossed his mind.

“Oh my god, y/n I have the perfect playlist for this!” You grinned and saw how he moved his hands to his sides, as if he was trying to find something, he pursed his lips and looked back at you.

“Right, I forgot, I don’t have my phone either” He sounded a little bit annoyed but smiled at the end anyway.

“You don’t even have pockets remember” you were right, he should have remembered that first.

Rio had heard your comment about the slasher movies and turned herself to look at him, she smirked and walked closer to the two of you.

When she saw you from behind, she noticed that you were wearing clothes that were similar to hers and her eyes looked you up and down, when she got closer to you, she passed her arms around your waist and pulled you closer to her, you instinctively rested your head against her chest.

The teen noticed the smirk on Rio’s face which only made him squirm, Rio scared him, her deadly stare made him grimace.

“Hey, she is right, you do look like a character in a slasher movie from the 80’s, you would be the first character to die at the start of the movie” She said to him while staring without blinking and on top of that, the smirk had never disappeared from her face.

You couldn’t help but giggle at her comment, slightly you patted her chest, the teen swallowed hard and blinked several times trying to laugh awkwardly.

“That is not something nice to say Vidal, don’t mess with him, you scare him” You said to her with a pout on your face.

“She does not scare me” The teen replied back, but Rio turned her head hastily at him and bit into the air, as if she was warning him that she could bite him, the teen jumped slightly.

“Maybe just a little” The dark-haired boy commented being wary of Rio.

“Don’t mind her” Was what you said to him while looking at him with a smile on your face.

“I think you would be one of the final boys that make it to the end of the movie” The boy in front of you seemed to think about it and nodded, he seemed convinced that he would actually be a final girl, and you didn’t doubt it, he smiled fondly at you, and Rio started to caress your back.

“Who would you think I’ would be in a slasher movie set on the 80’s sweetheart?” Rio asked you rising her right eyebrow.

You brought your hand to your chin and acted as if you were in deep thought, but of course, you already had your answer.

“You would be the killer, the killer everyone suspects but cannot actually prove it” You said out lout and the teen gasped.

“She is right, you would be the killer” You had not noticed that the other witches had walked towards you, they were already near you and were looking at you with small smiles on their faces.

Even if they did not trust Agatha at all, and were a little bit scared of Rio because of her antics, they find you really adorable.

In their minds they still could not comprehend how someone as sweet as you, who only used magic to heal people, was with the other two witches.

They still did not understand what a healing witch whose magic was as pure as the meaning of white lilies was doing with Agatha Harkness, former user of the darkhold and with Rio, the witch who did not care about anything and seemed to be so scary, the same woman who agreed on being a “psycho” with a big smile on her face.

Even if they did not comprehend it at all, they could see the way the two witches acted around you, and the way they treated you, they were soft with you, you were the only one that could see and had the privilege to see that side of them, you felt really lucky.

Rio turned her head back at the teen and tilted her head slightly.

“If I was the killer, you would be my first victim, you would not even make it to the second act” Your girlfriend said as if she was just saying facts.

“That is not right Rio, I am pretty sure he would be one of the few that actually makes it to the end” Rio cackled and you tilted your head to give her a disapproving look.

“Ah, fine, he would make it to the end” This deep down made the teen jump internally, it made him feel excited that she had admitted that.

Rio gave you a playful pat on your shoulder.

“Let me look for Agatha, we don’t want her to cause more trouble do we?” She winked at you and left your side.

Alice then came to stand next to the teen, with a curious look on her face.

“Who would I be in a slasher movie?” She inquired looking excited to know your answer.

Examining her carefully you came to the only conclusion that seemed accurate for Alice.

“I think you would be the main character, the protagonist who is tortured and stalked by the killer, because she was the only one who escaped, you would be one of the original final girls, the final girl who fights back, like Laurie Strode on Halloween” Her eyebrows were risen and nodded her head in understanding.

“Yeah, she is totally right, you would be a total badass” The teen agreed with you. Alice beamed with happiness and pressed her hands together.

“You heard that?” Alice asked glancing at Jenn and Lilia.

“I am not really a fan of horror movies, so I really don’t know what you are talking about” Explained Jenn and Lilia nodded her head in a way of showing she felt the same.

Smiling at them you started to explain everything “It’s fine, basically, the horror or slasher movies tend to have a series of “rules” that characterize them, one thing for the slasher movies is for example, that there is a killer-��

“Sometimes there are two killers” The teen quickly said.

“Or sometime yes there are two killers, who usually start their murder spree killing different characters, and the final girl is the character who makes it to the end of the movie and defeats the villain” You finished your explanation.

“Who do you think Agatha would be?” The teen inquired.

“I would say that because of her personality traits she would be the killer that no one suspects of, I mean she is smart, charming” The four of them nodded in agreement.

“And who would you be?” The boy asked you again.

“I would be the character who dies at the start” You simply said, and they all started to discuss that in fact that would not be true.

“I think you would be the character that everyone is attached to, like the character who is friends with everyone and who also everyone tries to protect, you know? also I can see how you would be close to the final girl and you would get extra protection” The teen said and put a finger on his chin, looking at you, analyzing you, you only smiled at him and shook your head.

“Is this how people really looked at the time? I mean, the clothing style, the vibe, all of it?” You wondered out loud and jumped when you felt someone hugging you from behind, you felt the arms of Rio pulling you closer to her.

“Yes, people actually dressed up like this” Agatha said behind you, and all of you turned to look at her, she had kind of a disheveled look, he hair up in a ponytail and the oversized purple shirt fitted her amazingly.

“Whose trial is this?” Asked the teen while looking up at the ceiling.

Rio looked at the window in front of you and you did the same thing, the blood moon could be perfectly seen since your position.

“Agatha’s” answered the witch holding you from behind, you were a little bit worried, so you turned your head to look at Agatha, she saw your worried expression and gave you a reassuring smile, it was a tad scary for her, but with you and Rio there by her side, she knew the trial would be easily passed, or at least, that’s what she hoped.

Hearing Lilia’s explanation about the blood money and the believe of a misconception she mentioned, everyone turned around to look at their beeping watches in their wrists.

“The road wants us to Ouija” The teen showed all of you the board, and everyone started to gather closer, then he proceeded to read the rules.

“Number two, do not speak over each other” And all the witches began to speak over each other, clearly not realizing what they were doing.

Rio and you heard clearly when Agatha demanded to be shown the rules to see if it actually said that and you couldn’t help but share an amused look with her,

Rio shook her head smiling and sticking her tongue out a little, you tried to hide your laugh but you couldn’t, Agatha realized who was laughing and she looked at you, you were next to her left and Rio was next to you.

“What?” Agatha asked with feigned innocence, and you just shrugged your shoulders.

“What is so funny doll?” Agatha asked again and came closer to you to caress your hair, you unconsciously leant into her touch, and let her guide you to rest your head on her chest.

“I love the way you look in those clothes” She commented dangerously close to your ear witch a husky voice.

“Not the time for that” You replied amused, you had to focus on passing the trial.

“Shall we start?” Agatha seemed to tense and you saw the way she started to swallow, it was obvious that she was nervous, the teen sat on the floor and the other witches started to do the same forming a circle.

“Hey, are you alright?” You asked her while she squeezed your hands, you felt the way she pulled you closer to her, and you happily leant into her touch.

“I will be alright, don’t worry” She said to you in a whisper.

“Rio and I are here for you, you know?” You replied back at her and she nodded with a smile in her face.

“I know, thank you, I love you so much” Agatha said near your ear and she pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“Let’s get started” She said, you did not notice the way Agatha nodded at Rio, Rio understood and Agatha took your hand one more time to hand you to Rio, Agatha gave you one last squeeze and Rio took your hand in hers, the brown-eyed woman smiled reassuringly at Agatha and put her arm around your waist, she pushed you slightly and placed you next to her right, while Agatha sat next to you as well, leaving you in the middle of the two of them.

Everyone on the room put their hands on the board and waited for Agatha to start, when her hands got separated from the board you really got scared and quickly turned your head to look at Rio, she saw your worried expression and quickly mouthed a “Don´t worry” and smiled slightly at you.

“She´s scared” Commented Rio while you sighed in relief, for a moment you had thought your girlfriend had been possessed, Rio then patted the sit ordering Agatha to come and sit again.

“Do not do that, it was funny, but you got her scared” Rio said to Agatha and nodding towards you, while the blue-eyed woman sat back next to you and she gave you a shy smile.

“Sorry love, I thought it was funny” The older witch commented with an apologetical look.

Sighing you just shook your head and slightly bumped your shoulders against her.

“It alright, I just do not want anything to happen to you” Rio then looked back at her and nodded, she felt the same even if she found her little joke funny.

“Alright” The blue-eyed woman proceeded to place her hands on the board and everyone did the same, you were not going to lie, feeling the board moving so hard and faster made your heart beat in fear, you never had played it and it actually made you feel scared, but you knew you had to do it in order to pass the trial.

“Punish Agatha” Was what the board said and you quickly felt yourself getting tense, but before someone could actually understand what was happening you heard Agatha yelling at everyone to stop it and you were not sure what or how it happened but Agatha got her hands off the board and you panicked.

The scream that was all over the place, was so loud and it pierced you ears.

You saw her getting to the floor and she covered her ears just as everyone else did, but you were still worried of what could happen to your girlfriend since it was her trial, so you uncovered you ears not caring if the loud sound made your ears hurt and went to kneel next to Agatha to check if she was fine and did not have any type of physical wounds.

Agatha noticed your face contorted in pain, but her heart melted when she realized you were checking her to make sure she was not hurt, out of instinct she uncover her ears and made sure your ears were covered using her own hands, even in the middle of the chaos she still managed to show you how much she cared for you.

You were so lost in her eyes that you did not even notice when things calmed down, the scream could not be heard anymore and the things flying around the room were already scattered all over the floor.

“Is it over?” Your eyes stared to examine the room and the witches around you, getting closer and closer, what happened?

“Sorry y/n, but it seems like in order to pass this trial we have to punish Agatha” Jenn was looking right at Agatha, her gaze not darting somewhere else.

“There has to be another way” The teen said out loud and you agreed with him.

“Wait no! You cannot just decide that you are going to hurt her” You said to the three witches in front of you, your pleading eyes started to get glossy, they could not actually think that this was their way out right? Even if the ghost or whatever was wanted that, there had to be another way.

The teen looked horrified about what could happen, it was clearly they were not thinking clearly and with Rio walking faster towards the two of you, he panicked as well.

“I am sorry but you have to move” Jenn said with what you thought maybe, just maybe was guilty.

Alice was unsure, they were not actually going to do something to Agatha right? She looked at Lilia who had the same unsure look on her face.

Your pleading eyes with tears about to be shed made them feel unsure on what to do, they knew that you loved her and you would not be able to do anything to her, but what if that was what the ghost wanted them to do?

Before they got the time to get closer to you Rio appeared in front of the two of you and got her knife out of wherever she hid it, you were always amazed because whenever you saw her getting something out of her pockets or her clothes, you never really understood where she hid all of the things she carried with her.

“No one is touching Agatha, nor y/n” She said with a firm tone.

Agatha caressed your back and nodded at you, she gave you a reassuring smile and squeezed your hand.

“It´s alright, don´t worry, nothing is going to happen to me, ok” She pressed her forehead against you and you nodded, Agatha then stood up and came up behind Rio.

“Listen, we can talk about it and see what other options we have, let´s not get wild” She said trying to be reasonable, but then a sound was heard from your spot, and everyone turned to where the sound had come from.

“Where is she?” The teen asked with his eyes wide open, the witches started to turn themselves around looking for you.

“Sweetheart? Where are you?” Agatha asked out loud, and everyone started to move to different directions trying to see if they could catch a glimpse of where were you.

“We have to find her! She was right there and the next second she was not, how is that even possible?”  Your girlfriend Agatha started to panic, it was something weird when it came to her, being panicked was not a state she was used to, but when it come to you or Rio, she could not help but worry more than anything.

“Hey, look at me, we are going to find her, she could not have gotten too far” Rio reassured her and Agatha nodded, she was right, you could not have gotten too far.

They all gasped in unison when the lights went out.

“Hey, we were not going to actually hurt your girlfriend Agatha, just come out wherever you are” The potions which announced while she examined the room.

The teen started to look for something that they could use to get some light, and when he found a lamp, he looked pleased, now it would be easier to look for you.

“Hey, does anyone hear that” Lilia inquired and the teen felt something that had touched his shoulder, he visibly tensed and pointed the lamp towards the ceiling.

The scream that came after seeing you was inevitable, the other witches looked up as well and started to scream as well.

“Oh my god, what happened to her?” Jenn screamed and walked back until she hit one of the walls.

“Agatha get her out of the ceiling!” Alice yelled at her.

“I would if I had my powers!” Agatha yelled back; her face was full of worry.

“She is going to get hurt” Lillia declared while covering her mouth with her hand.

What they were not waiting, was that you jumped from the ceiling, landing with a hard thud against the floor.

“Is she hurt? Someone please check her!” Alice yelled again

“She is not y/n” The teen screamed when suddenly your body got up from the fall and started to contort your body, he squirmed and crawled back to try to protect himself from what he was seeing in front him.

“She is possessed for real” The teen was horrified, the look you had on your face was clearly not something he was expecting, he just hoped that neither of you would get hurt.

“Someone needs to grab her!” Someone in the back yelled, but due to everyone screaming the teen did not even recognize whose voice it was.

“No! wait, she could get hurt! No one is touching her!” Rio glanced menacingly.

“Then how can we help her?!” Agatha asked desperately, she came to place herself next to Rio, the two of them wanted to actually try and do something, maybe catch you and bring you to the center, but the way your body was contorting made them afraid that they could hurt you more.

“Oh my god guys, why are her bones sounding like that?” The teen screamed out of fear at the sound of your cracking bones, you were getting too close to him when suddenly your body for some seconds went limp and crashed against the floor, they were going to go and help you but after only some seconds your body stood up again crashing against the wall, Lilia was quick to get the power back and in a blink of an eye, you disappear again.

“Where is she? Where is she?” Rio looked several times around the room trying to see if you were again on the ceiling.

Before the withes could have more time to look for you, they saw something that looked like white fog forming in front of the stairs.

“That is a ghost, I hate ghosts” Rio said completely angered, Agatha was next to her looking at it with her brows furrowed, where had you gone?

What Agatha saw next made her gasp; her mother had materialized in front of them.

“Mother?” Agatha asked not believing what her eyes were watching.

A sound caught their attention and they looked up to see what was going upstairs, there you were, Agatha sighed in relief but after the worry could be gone, it took over her again, you were trying to stand up, grabbing your left arm with your right hand, you were crying, your sobs were loud enough for them to hear.

“What did you do to her?” Rio asked angrily taking a step forward, and Agatha did the same.

“You have to keep walking the witches´ road without her” The ghost of Evanora Harkness said to them.

Everyone gasped in shock.

“No way, we are not leaving her with you, she comes with us” Agatha said with a firm tone, never hesitating.

“Leave this girl with me, then you will be free to go” The ghost replied.

Lilia, Alice, Jenn and the teen looked at each other, they were not going to leave you there with her, and if they also needed to fight a ghost even if they did not how, they would do it.

“Taking one of the people I love the most?” Agatha laughed bitterly at the thought.

“There is no way we are leaving her with you!” Rio replied back at the ghost with a threatening tone in her voice.

“We are not letting her stay with her, you hear me? She is going to leave with us Agatha” Rio assured the blue-eyed woman.

“It is your time to pay for what you have done, you were born evil, you should not have a chance at love, I repeat, leave her with me, and you can go” Agatha clenched her jaw, Rio who was next to her was fuming, even if they wanted to do something, what could they do against a ghost?

You were crying, your whole body in pain, you were sure you were going to have bruises, you could not even lift your arm and you wondered if maybe it had been broken.

You heard everything Evanora said to her, that she was evil, but that was not true, Agatha was not evil, she was a misunderstood witch who did not have anyone to back her up and show her to control her powers, and even if you were in pain you would let your girlfriend know that her mother was not right.

“Do not listen to her Agatha, we know you are not evil, you are worthy of love” You managed to say between sobs, Agatha did not have time to answer to you, because her mother spoke again.

“I will not repeat myself” The ghost announced.

Agatha could not help the tears falling from her face, it was all her fault you were in pain, her own fault that you had been possessed by her mother, she was being punished for al the things she had done in the past, seeing you in so much pain was breaking he heart, Rio was so mad, it infuriated her seeing you and Agatha both in pain.

Before they could do something else, the ghost disappeared and they watch the way your body started to contort again, you came crawling down the stairs, the witches watched in horror.

“Leave her alone” The witch with the red strands on her hair pushed the teen, Agatha and Rio to the side, all of them saw Alice throwing her powers at you.

“Don´t hurt her!” Agatha shouted ready to go and push Alice away from you, but the teen and Rio stopped her, and watched they way your body return to your normal form, the paleness leaving your skin, and the white fog dissipated.

After some minutes Alice stopped, and you felt to the floor with a loud thud, you quickly started to groan in pain, trying to get up from the floor.

Agatha and Rio ran towards you to help you stand up.

“It hurts so much” You said to them still crying, Agatha could not take in how much pain you were, she did not want to hurt you more, but they needed to check your body.

“I know sweetheart, we know it hurt but we have to touch you to check your body alright?” Rio whispered to you in a reassuring way, it pained her too much too see you suffering.

They tried to help you stand up, but the pain in your body was too much, Agatha could see the bruises forming on your legs and on your arms, and seeing the way your arm had taken a really weird position, she knew it was broken.

“Baby, can you tell us where it hurts?” You heard Rio asking you, her voice sounded a little bit shaky.

“My arm, is what hurts the most” Yous said between sobs, you wanted the pain to stop, but you knew that even healing yourself was going to hurt a lot.

“I think… I think I can try to heal it but, but I am scared, it is going to hurt so much” Agatha turned her head to look at Rio, she closed her eyes, your sobs made her so hard to maintain a hard façade as always.

“Listen, we are here with you, we are not letting you go, you can take my hand and squeeze it as hard as you want, alright?” Agatha said before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

Rio placed herself next to Agatha, the blue-eyed woman placed you on her lap, and Rio put her hands on your back, caressing you up and down.

The witches standing in front of you, could not also take the sight, the teen had to look away, he could not stand seeing you crying from pain, and the way your arm was positioned, made him feel uneasy.

Lilia was holding Alice´s hand, watching with glossy eyes, they could not believe that you were the one that had got hurt, Jenn wanted to do something to help you ease the pain, but nothing came to her mind.

 You clung to Agatha´s shirt, and focused hard on the pain you were feeling, Rio never stopped running her hands up and down on your back, trying to soothe you and waiting the pain would stop.

“Everything will be alright, you are going to be fine, we love you so much” Agatha said into your ear, you were trembling and she hated so much that she could not anything.

After several minutes of sobbing harder, you felt you arm getting back to its normal position, your magic had worked, the powers accommodating the bones, putting them in their normal place, Agatha was caressing your legs with her free hands and noticed the bruises disappearing.

With one final breath, you felt yourself relaxing, the pain going away completely, and when Agatha and Rio were sure you were not hurting anymore, a door opened, all of you looked at it.

“We passed the trial” The teen said out loud, they were relieved you had stopped crying, but felt immensely guilty for not have been able to do anything to help you somehow.

 “We have to go sweetheart” She squeezed your shoulders lovingly, and the two of your grilfriends helped you to stand up.

Agatha quickly pulled you closer to her, her left hand on your waist, Rio put her hand on your shoulders, afraid of letting you walk alone.

They started to walk towards the door to get ready to leave and go back to the road.

“Alice” Agatha called for her when she started to walk in front of you, she turned quickly to look at you and to the other two witches in front of her.

“Thank you, for saving her” Agatha said with a soft look on her face, it was sincere, Agatha sounded sincere for the first time since the have arrived at the road, and smiled at her.

“It is alright, you do not have to thank me, I really wish I had done more” Alice gave the three of you an apologetically smile.

“You saved me” You replied at her.

“It was more than enough, Alice” Agatha let her know, Rio gave her a nod and the shorter witch smiled, it was a big smile, she turned herself around and started to walk back towards the door.

The three of you were the last standing in the room right in front of the door that would take you back to the road.

Agatha made you stop and you looked at her, with a frown on your face.

“Listen, I, I am sorry, it was my fault, because of me, because of what I have done in the past, you got hurt, and, none of us could do something to actually help you, I feel so-“ You abruptly interrupted her.

“Don´t blame yourself please, it was not your fault, please stop blaming yourself” You wiped her tears out of her face before talking again.

“I would never blame you for anything, I am fine, we are fine, we passed the trial, I am happy nothing happened to you” Before you could continue speaking, you felt her arm wrapping you in a hug, she passed her arms around your waist and you heard her cry, she loved you with her entire heart, and she could not stop blaming herself, what if something worse had happened to you?

Rio went to place herself next to Agatha and started to caress her back before looking at you.

“Hey, it´s alright, I would never, really never, let anyone hurt any of you, I would break the rules for you, so you can rest assure Agatha, that I won´t let anything else happen to her, alright?” Rio knew what to say, because you felt Agatha getting relaxed and she sighed.

“We are going to keep an eye on you, we are going to make sure noting else happens to you, we swear” Agatha commented while looking into your eyes, and Rio nodded quickly.

Smiling at them, the three of you started to walk again, ready to face whatever would be next, Agatha and Rio let you in first, and it made you laugh, you were not sure what was going to happen, or if something really worst was waiting for you outside, but what you were sure, was that with the two of your girlfriends taking care of you, you would be fine, and that was alright, you knew that if anything happened, Rio and Agatha would be there for you, ready to fight against anything that would even just threaten you, so you smiled pulled yourself closer to them when you stepped outside of that place, Agatha came next to you and again she pressed her hand on your waist, and Rio put her hand on your shoulder, they started to guide you to the group that was waiting for you in the middle of the road, and you smiled, you were going to be alright, no matter what.

When you got closer to the group, they heard the leaves been stepped on by someone and they quickly turned their head to look at you, they all had smiles on their faces.

You saw the way the teen turned his body completely towards you and he opened his arms, the closer you got the more you noticed his puffy eyes, when you arrived in front of him, you quickly opened your arms as well and let him engulf you in a hug.

“Thank god you are fine” He said while the two of you slightly swung due to the teen moving to the sides, you giggled and separated yourself to look at him.

“I am fine because Alice saved me” You replied to him and realized all of the witches had come closer and were standing really close to you and the teen hugging you.

You looked to your left to see Alice wiping quickly one tear that was running down her face, and tried to act as if she did not want to cry, she quickly cleared her throat and saw how Lilia and Jenn were smiling at her, Lilia put her hand on Alice´s shoulder and caressed it lovingly.

You chuckled and walked closer to Alice until you were standing next to her, she looked up from the floor to look at you and she shrugged her shoulders.

“No big deal, it was what anyone else would have done, so we´re cool-“ Before she could continue talking you hugged her, your arms around her shoulders.

“Thank you so much Alice, you really are a protection witch, please never doubt that, you are amazing” Your words had touched her heart and she hugged you more, she nodded and when you looked back at her face you noticed she had left the tears ran freely down her face.

“Thank you y/n” Alice replied back at you.

“I am sorry I, I just let you there, in pain, I, I should have done something else, try to look for something to ease the pain but-“ You quickly took Jenn´s hands on yours, you knew she was not really keen on physical contact so you tried to respect that about her.

“It´s alright, you don´t have to be sorry, it was something that was out of your hands, I am grateful that you were able to save him and stop the bleeding, and that´s more than enough, thank you about that, we did not have the time to thank you for that” You said to her smiling, Jenn nodded and caressed the back of your hand.

“Can I get a hug? Everyone seems to love your hugs, I wonder what is so special about them” You nodded laughing and got yourself close to her to hug her, she always smelled amazingly, her perfume seemed to never actually leave her.

“Oh darling, I am so happy you are fine, I cannot imagine what Agatha and Rio would have ended up doing if something happened to you” Lilia pulled you closer to her after you separated yourself from Jenn, and you let her hug you while caressing your back, Lilia then took your hands in hers, and looked straight into your eyes.

“You are so important to everyone, do not ever let yourself think you do not matter alright?” She said to you with a firm tone, yet it was soft at the same time, you could only nod and your eyes filled with tears.

Agatha and Rio looked at the scene in front of them, and Agatha could only think that no one was going to let you get hurt, if for any reason Rio and her were not able to actually protect you, they knew they still had a coven that would do anything to try and protect you as well.

“It looks that you will have to start being kinder to them” Rio said to her with a smirk but she actually meant it.

“Shut up��� Agatha said while pushing her slightly in a playful way.

“But you are right, we are a coven after all” Agatha commented while the two of them got close to you and placed each one of them to your sides, both of their hands on your waist.

“We still have to keep on walking, let´s go” Agatha caressed your back again, and while everyone nodded and continued to walk, you couldn’t help the smile on your face from getting bigger, maybe this would be the time for Agatha to start trusting in others, apart from only trusting in you and Rio, but you would still have a lot of time In which you would be able to help Agatha with that, right now, you still had a road to face, and you had never felt so safe and ready to face whatever that would appear.

After all, you had your girlfriends to take care of you, and a whole coven that now, looked after each other.

[canonicallyobserving911]

WIP Wednesday

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

Important update regarding 'Chapter 29'

FANON FanFic: Buddie Multi-Chapter - Hiatus Reading: “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!

Currently 28 chapters completed: 1.77M Words; Rated: Mature

#1 {Previous snippet} #2 {Previous snippet} #3 {Previous snippet}

#4 {Previous snippet} #5 {Previous snippet}

The good news is the chapter is huge because there’s a lot happening with the Diaz family. 🎆🥂

The even better news is Chapter 29 was getting so big, I had to divide it into two chapters, i.e., chapters 29 and 30. 🥳😁🤗

Here’s the 4-1-1: On Sunday, June 23rd, I posted a Several Sentences Sunday and I indicated it would be the final snippet from Chapter 29. Even though that was my original plan and I was adamant about sticking to it, my plans changed as I continued to write the chapter.  On Monday, I realized in order to do the chapter justice, there was no way I could reasonably fit everything into 80K words or less.  Therefore, I took yesterday to reevaluate and I decided to divide it into two separate chapters.  It was a great decision but it wasn’t the first time I’ve done it within this multi-chapter fic.  I did it with Chapter 22 because it was huge and I didn’t know until I got ready to post it in AO3 that the site wouldn’t let me upload that many words in one chapter.  So, Buck and Eddie’s marriage ceremony and the time the Diazes spent in Italy was divided into two chapters, 22 and 23.  Since Chapter 29 is larger than Chapter 22 was before I divided it, I knew I couldn’t continue writing it until I made that crucial decision.

Please understand I love writing and I love all the fics I’ve written but for many reasons, this one is special to me.  Mainly because Buck, Eddie and Chris as well as the other main characters are growing and I can see how far they’ve come when I go back and review previous chapters.  I’m allowing the writing and the narrative to go where they’re organically going to go and for me, it’s the best way to write.  Two of my biggest pet peeves with CANON is lots of things happen off-screen and there’s not enough time in each episode for everything to be included.  I know they have 43 to 45 minutes but I like to see things happen and it’s the same way when I’m reading.  I’m still pissed we didn’t get to see Buck and Eddie sing karaoke but I digress because if I go there, we’ll be here all day.  I like to see and read everything so I won’t have to do mental gymnastics in order to figure out where or what the show or a writer wants me to know but that’s just me. 😜

I’ve posted about the way I worry over the size of the chapters in several of the notes sections and this time was no different because I literally had to stop stressing over how large Chapter 29 had become. I fully understand multi-chapter fics aren’t every reader’s cup of tea but I love long fics and not only do I write them; I read them too.  One shots are great and I’ve written some but I usually end up turning them into a series because I believe there’s even more story to be told.  When I started writing this fic more than a year ago, my initial plan was for it to be 12 chapters but by the time I got to Chapter 6, I changed it to undecided then after I posted Chapter 11, I decided the final number would be 30.  After I wrote Chapter 25, I took a few days to reevaluate where I wanted Buck’s, Eddie’s and Chris’ storylines to go and I knew I wouldn’t be able to fit it all into the remaining five chapters, therefore I increased it to 40.  The good thing about that is I incorporated 2 additional chapters in the count so my plan is to still complete this fic within 40 chapters.

I want to take this opportunity to say thank you to everyone who’s read and commented on this fic on AO3 (I read and respond to every comment) and to those who’ve reblogged posts about it on Tumblr.  I really appreciate all of you and I know writing more than 1 million words for a fic is a lot but I love this fic, I’m going to see it through to the end and I’m going to continue to let the writing do what it does.

Since I’m planning to post both Chapters 29 and 30 no later than this weekend, I’ve included one more snippet below and I hope everyone enjoys reading it.

__________

Here’s a snippet from one of Buck and Eddie’s conversations they’re having while they’re lying in bed and it’s emotionally angsty.

_________

“Babe, you know how much I care about Bobby and my relationship with him, right?”

“Of course I do.  He’s been there for all of us but for you it’s different because he’s not just your captain, he’s also a father to you and you’re his son.  It’s been like that for years.”

“Exactly and him being my captain, mentor, friend and father figure has been great but the truth is… I don’t think he believes I can lead.  I didn’t tell you this but when I was trying to get him to notice me so he could see how good I am at being a firefighter…”  He trails off because he’s not sure if he should even mention it.

Eddie raises his eyebrows but he doesn’t interrupt, he just patiently waits for him to continue.

Since Buck’s not sure where his career will end up whenever Frank releases him to return to work and he’ll have to discuss what he’s thinking tomorrow when he meets with Captain Mehta, he decides to just say it.  “He told me I didn’t have enough life experience but I think my personal life shouldn’t matter.”

“I agree, it shouldn’t but did he say anything else?”

“No… well yeah but it was all about taking inventory of my life so I—I can be at ease but I still don’t know what that has to do with me being fire captain.”

Eddie gently squeezes his hand because he can tell his husband is getting upset.  He inhales then says, “Amore mio… a lot about your life has changed since then and it’s unclear why Bobby said those things without elaborating but I do have some ideas about why he didn’t… which we’ll discuss in a minute but let me ask you a question.  Last April, during your performance review, did you ask him about it?”

“No… I didn’t because he listed my PT scores as outstanding when they weren’t.  Then he um… reminded me that I died and I told him I needed to be held to the same standard as everyone else.  I wanted to talk to him then but it didn’t seem like the right time and I still want to talk to him but I don’t think he’ll be objective and it’s the reason why I believe it’s time for me to consider transferring out of the 118… again but it’s different this time and it’s the reason why I want to talk to Captain Mehta since I’m thinking about applying to work at another firehouse.”

Eddie’s eyes widen because he’s in shock but he recovers quickly.  “Let’s talk this through because you told me you want to be captain one day and not just any captain, you said you want to be captain of the 118.  I know you’re not ready to go back to work and you know I’ll fully support your decision if you decide not to but amore mio… how do you feel about being fire captain now that it’s possible Frank could be releasing you from therapy soon?  I’m asking because being captain is your dream.”

“I—I’m not sure but I have been thinking it might be time to give up on my dream since things have changed and if I decide to return um… it’s likely everyone on A-shift will be moving on to other things but where’s that going to leave me?”  He admits with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders.

“My love… you know I’ll support you no matter what you decide but I have to be honest, I’m worried”.

“Why?”

“Because being captain of the 118 is your dream and you’ve always been Bobby’s protégé.”

“Yeah, I thought so too but it’s different now because Bobby has already picked the person he wants to take his place but he’s never even considered me.”  He pauses for a few seconds then continues.  “It’s not important anyway because I can work out of any firehouse in Los Angeles”.

He frowns and replies, “Buck?!  Your dream is important and it matters.  In September, you told me being captain of the 118 is something you’ve been wanting for a long time so… talk to me.  If you don’t want it anymore I’ll understand but if you do… you know I’ll be here with you every step of the way.”

“Babe, I know you will but the fact is I’ve been on medical leave for more than five months and I—I was on paid administrative restrictions and paid administrative leave several weeks before that.  A lot’s happened over the years and I don’t know if Bobby will ever be able to see past the stuff I did.”

“But Buck…”

He whispers, “It’s ok.  I’ve made a lot of mistakes as a firefighter and I don’t know if I can come back from them.  I’ve disobeyed orders more times than I can count, I filed a lawsuit against the city and a lot of other things that I can’t change.  It’s where I am now so maybe it’s time for me to consider other options.”

What is Eddie going to say next?🤷🏽‍♀️

What is Captain Mehta going to say to Buck when they talk? 👀

Is Buck going to leave the 118 if Frank releases him to return to work? 🙃

__________

Fic Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it.  But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be cataclysmic.

__________

Chapter Summaries

Chapter 1 - Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.

Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.

Chapter 3 - After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.

Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.

Chapter 5 - Both Buck and Eddie have difficult conversations with their parents and Buck finally learns the truth behind the reason why his mother despised him while Eddie finally tells his mother about the way she tries to control him.

Chapter 6 - More than two weeks after Buck pushed Eddie away after suggesting they needed a break; Eddie decides to try again. Eddie’s there for Buck when he’s at his worst just like Buck was there for him when he was at his worst and he won’t let Buck give up.

Chapter 7 - After Buck’s mental breakdown, Eddie has his back the same way Buck had his when he had his own breakdown more than a year ago.  They share several vulnerable and emotionally intimate moments with one another and they begin to realize their small, sweet and caring gestures matter just as much if not more than any grand gesture ever could because these are the foundations of a long-lasting love relationship.

Chapter 8 - Buck, Eddie and Chris all have their own therapists and during their sessions, they reflect on their pasts while they’re in the present so they can prepare for their future together as a family.

Chapter 9 - Buck and Eddie are there for each other when Buck has to testify as a witness during the trial.  But by the end of it, they’ll both realize their individual and shared traumas are going to keep resurfacing until they talk about them, deal with the fact that they’re in love with one another and face the fact that they can’t live without each other.

Chapter 10 - As Buck and Eddie finally begin to confront their past traumas, they realize how much they need each other to fill in the gaps of their memories.  Additionally, the universe screams at them for what appears to be the one hundredth time so Buck can realize he doesn’t have to ‘find it’ because he already ‘made it’ and Eddie’s reminded tomorrow isn’t promised and he doesn’t have to die alone if he doesn’t want to.

Chapter 11 - A “virga” or dry thunderstorm is in the forecast but once the rain starts, the thunderstorm happening outside won’t be able to match the storm brewing inside between Buck and Eddie.  It’s the universe’s final scream and when the tumultuous winds begin to blow, they’ll have one last chance to hold onto everything they’ve built over the last six years or they’ll lose it all forever.

Chapter 12 - Buck and Eddie have always shared a deep physical attraction and an emotional intimacy that’s unmatched but now that they’re in a relationship, they’re learning how to navigate the romantic intimacy they’ve been waiting for six years to explore. The love they have for each other is a once in a lifetime, soulmate, love of their lives type of love that transcends space and time.

Chapter 13 - While navigating the newness of their romantic relationship, Buck and Eddie take advantage of every moment they spend together. As their individual lives, people from their pasts, time constraints and the possibility of losing each other again make attempts to interrupt and interfere with their journey to forever, they love, care for, support and hold onto each other even tighter to withstand it all.

Chapter 14 - Buck and Eddie can see the lights at the end of the tunnels regarding the results of Buck’s Cancer Screening along with everything else they’re dealing with. But are the lights they see exits to the tunnels or are they headlights on different runaway trains that are speeding towards them in an effort to interrupt their forever?

Chapter 15 - Buck and Eddie have known they were exactly who the other one wanted in a partner since they met six years ago when they agreed to have each other’s backs. They’re in a romantic relationship, they’re both preparing to ask the other one to spend forever with them and by the end of the seventh week into their relationship, together they will plan their most important and greatest adventure for their future.

Chapter 16 - As Buck and Eddie begin to prepare for their marriage ceremony that will take place in Rome, Italy in December 2023, they start planning their first international adventure as a romantic couple. Even though Chris is still the only person they’ve told about their relationship, several people who know them have already witnessed the love they share and as the days continue, others will witness it too.

Chapter 17 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to departing Los Angeles for their international adventure, a moment in time will remind them; life is fragile, tomorrow isn’t promised and every second of everyday should be cherished because everything can change in an instant. The result of that realization will cause them to hold onto each other even more.

Chapter 18 - As Buck, Eddie and Chris prepare for family gatherings before and during the Thanksgiving holiday, the “Santa Ana Winds” start to blow and all sorts of expected and unexpected familial drama ensues.

Chapter 19 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to their wedding day, the universe begins to align everything so that some of their parent and children's relationships are strengthened while others come to an abrupt end.

Chapter 20 - With only 14 days remaining until Buck, Eddie and Chris depart Los Angeles, CA traveling to Rome, Italy, for their first family adventure, an early morning conversation about “tying up loose ends” helps Buck and Eddie realize there are still several things left unfinished on their ‘To Do’ lists. The question is will there be enough time to complete all of them?

Chapter 21 - Buck, Eddie and Chris are finalizing their ‘To Do’ Lists, double checking their itineraries and packing their suitcases in preparation for their trip to Europe so they can board their flight that departs Los Angeles, CA on Friday, December 15, 2023 at 3:25PM.

Chapter 22 - While Buck, Eddie and Chris spend the first 8 days of their European family adventure in Italy, their primary reason for going will be fulfilled as well as several others they hadn’t considered or anticipated.

Chapter 23 - As the Diaz Family continues their Italian family adventure, they’ll say, “Ciao” or hello and goodbye to a lot of things almost immediately after they become an official and legal family.

Chapter 24 - After Buck, Eddie and Chris arrive in London, England on December 24th; the Diazes immediately start preparing to spend their first family Christmas together. During their stay, each of them will hear a few choice words that will be the life raft to get them home to complete their searches to be seen and to be found.

Chapter 25 - After spending more than two weeks in Europe, Eddie, Buck and Chris are back in Los Angeles and they’re getting ready to attend Maddie and Chimney’s New Year’s Eve party. During the event, they have plans to make two surprise announcements but the question is, who’s really going to be surprised, the Diaz family or their found family at the 118?

Chapter 26 - Buck and Eddie are once again faced with their greatest fear of losing each other but this time it could be permanent and if it is, then they won’t be able to spend the rest of their lives together.

Chapter 27 - After Buck resumes therapy, he’ll continue to face the fact that he “DIED” in March 2023 and during those sessions, he’ll learn about the 7 stages of grief. As he continues his healing journey, Eddie will be right by his side just like he promised and the Diaz family will start to deal with their three minutes and seventeen seconds loss as a family.

Chapter 28 - Two years ago, Eddie was asked, “What are you afraid of?”; twice, once by Frank and once by Buck but he only answered one of them without deflecting. Since that time, he’s been to therapy and him and Buck got married but the question resurfaces when Frank asks Buck the same question and Buck asks it of Eddie for the second time. However, when Buck asks, his reasoning will be about something else entirely.

Chapter 29 - Will be posted soon.

Chapter 30 - Will be posted soon.

__________

Read chapters 1-28 are available on AO3.

Continue reading on AO3

[thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai]

Beneath the Shine of a Thousand Spotlights Chapter 6

Summary:

Viktor decides to move on and focus on the next season, but how creative can you even be when you've run out of inspiration?

Okay guys, this chapter has been a long time coming and I'm not sure when or if I'll post more chapters, but here's Chapter 6 of my pre-canon story about Vitya because some of you guys kept asking (thank you so much for reading and liking my take on our living legend).

Please enjoy the creation of On Love: Eros and Agape! 💜⛸

Excerpt below the cover image.

“I love dancing with you, Viktorrru!”

Yuuri beamed up at him with those warm, brown puppy eyes of his. “I want to dance with you forever.”

Breathless, Viktor swept back his hair. “I love dancing with you, too, Yuuri.”

Yuuri was still looking up at him, his eyes so vibrant that Viktor trembled from the inside. He put a finger under Yuuri’s chin, lifted it, and kissed him. The sweetest sensations blossomed on his lips, spread through him and set his body alight.

“When can I see you again?”

“I come to the banquet after Europeans.”

A strange sensation of the world tilting crept over Viktor. “But you don’t skate there,” he replied, confused.

“Chris invited me.” Yuuri released him and sashayed over to the pole where Chris was swinging around, one leg elegantly angled around the metal, his muscles flexing. Viktor’s world tilted further. Yuuri took Chris’s hand and pulled him out of the room.

Viktor woke in cold sweat and a tongue licking over his face. Yuuri! What wicked game are you playing?

He grew aware of a panting noise growing louder somewhere near his ear, then of a weight on him. Groaning, he opened his eyes. He only saw darkness, but as he groped around, his fingers grabbed a thick coat.

“Makkachin! Why are you waking me?”

His dog let out a high-pitched whine that hurt Viktor’s eardrums.

“Oh. Sorry. I’ll be up in a minute!”

He checked his phone. Oh, it’s Wednesday again.

His inbox and his notifications held no pleasant surprises, either. Viktor’s mood turned as dark as the pitch-black sky.

I could ignore my phone for days without missing anything, but the suspense whether he has finally gotten in touch with me would kill me. I must stop expecting something to happen.

But how could he when Yuuri still was there when Viktor closed his eyes?

Groaning, Viktor climbed off the bed and dragged himself to the bathroom.

Ten minutes later, he was jogging through the dark streets of Petrogradsky, Makkachin dashing alongside. The sky had cleared, and the air was even icier than on an average winter morning.

*~*~*~*

To be honest, I had this chapter ready since Pride Month but didn’t have the confidence to actually post it. Over this summer too much stuff happened that crushed my confidence as a writer even further and I had to protect my mental health for some big change in my real life - anyway, this is the thing I had announced for today.

Thousand Spotlights is very dear to my heart because Vitya inspires me and because I wrote this story during a time when I wanted to quit writing and the only reason to keep going was that I could pour all my feelings into a story about Viktor suffering from depression and creative burnout before Yuuri.

Maybe the new cover image might inspire some more people to check out this story.

Sharing is caring - reblog deeply appreciated 💜💙

[natsukishinomiyaswife]

Uwahh, i finally realized i misread your post, MB;;!!!

💬 for Yuliya and Jamil, if you will!!

Hello Kris! ☆

Thank you so much for your ask, and for participating in the ask game I reblogged! ♡

It's alright! lol ♡ Since you requested Jamil, I'll go ahead and put Yuliya's version of my fic A Jealous Tsum here! (Since she was the OC I originally wrote it for before turning it into a x Reader ♡)

Enjoy! ♡

(Also, if you're wondering, Yuliya and Jamil's ship name is DDR, for Dance Dance Revolution lol ♡ I figured I would mention it to avoid confusion if you see it tagged! ♡)

Yuliya and Jamil:

It's scary how similar they are, Yuliya couldn't help but think, feeling a pair of eyes on her.

She's sitting in the lounge of Scarabia, playing with Kalim's tsum. Jamil's tsum sits a few feet away, watching her intensely.

Kalim had an emergency club meeting to attend, the Pop Music Club's concert having been rescheduled to be sooner. The members were left scrambling to practice with the short deadline. Since Jamil had his duties to attend to, she offered to watch their tsums for them, Kalim thanking her and saying goodbye to his tsum before rushing off.

Jamil was more reluctant, hesitating for a moment before allowing it with a sigh. Him and his tsum locked eyes, staring at each other. They stayed that way for a minute, having a silent conversation before he left down the hall.

Ever since they left, all Jamil's tsum did was stare at her, keeping his distance. He reminded her so much of Jamil, how he always seemed to watch her for some reason, never really approaching. It made her nervous, looking back every once in a while to see if the tsum was still there.

She wasn't sure why it put her on edge, much like how Jamil's staring would. Perhaps it's because she's unsure what she did wrong, looking back again to see the tsum behind her, watching her still.

She took a deep breath, doing her best to focus on Kalim's tsum. He was a little bundle of energy, never seeming to keep still as he bounced about happily. Watching him made her smile, laughing as they played. A chill ran up her spine as she felt Jamil tsum's stare, turning to see the tsum was looking at her much more intensely. It almost seemed like he was glaring at her, making her turn back to Kalim's tsum with a frown.

Kalim's tsum seemed to notice the change in her mood, laying himself in her lap as a way to comfort her. She looked down at the tsum, his eyes looking back at her as if asking if she were alright. A small smile came to her face, petting the top of his head. He was so cute, and reminded her so much of Kalim. He even knew how to comfort her, just like Kalim did.

She looked back to check on Jamil's tsum, doing a double take when she realized he wasn't there. She started looking around the room, trying to see where the tsum could have gone to and doing her best not to panic.

Right as she was about to get up and start searching the halls, Jamil's tsum appeared, carrying something on his back. As he got closer she realized it was a plate of fruit, the tsum sitting it down in front of her.

She stared at the tsum in confusion as he nudged the plate, as if telling her to eat. She picks up a grape, realizing she was hungrier than she thought as she begins eating the fruit. Her chest grows warm at the thought that the tsum had noticed she hadn't eaten in a while, turning to look at him with a shy smile.

She pets the tsum's head as she thanks him, the tsum pleased by this. Kalim's tsum hopped in her lap, clearly wanting some attention too. She laughs at his antics, moving to pet his head instead. She feels Jamil's tsum staring again, just as intense as before. She turns to the tsum, wondering what was wrong. As she looks at the tsum she realizes his stare wasn't directed at her, following his line of sight to the tsum in her lap.

It takes a moment before it clicks, Yuliya apologizing to Jamil's tsum and shifting her attention back to him.

"Ah, sorry! Did you want to sit in my lap too?"

Jamil's tsum seemed embarrassed at being caught, but didn't deny her offer, moving to lay next to Kalim's tsum. Though he didn't seem happy with sharing, pushing the other tsum out of her lap when she wasn't looking. Kalim's tsum bounced back up a moment later, choosing to sit on her shoulder instead.

Jamil was done with his tasks for the day, heading back to the dorm lounge to check on Yuliya. He hopes Kalim's tsum didn't give her too much trouble, figuring his own wouldn't do much. If anything, perhaps his tsum helped her keep Kalim's in check. When he got to the doorway of the lounge he froze, taking in the sight before him.

Yuliya sat on the floor, Kalim's tsum sitting on her shoulder while his own rests in her lap. She had a small smile on her face as she looked down at him, petting his head. His tsum was clearly pleased with the attention, looking smug when he noticed Jamil in the doorway. Jamil couldn't help but cross his arms, shooting his tsum a look.

What he wasn't prepared for was Yuliya picking his tsum up from her lap, lifting the tsum close to her face as she eyed him affectionately.

"You really do look like Jamil! Same hair, same clothes. It's so cute!"

She presses a gentle kiss to his tsum's forehead, setting him back in her lap afterwards. The sight causes his heart to pound in his chest, feeling flustered as he turns around. He'll come back later, after he's calmed down ♡

(It won't let me indent it for some reason, so I have to keep the formatting how it is! Sorry! ♡)

Thank you! ♡

[writeingdocs]

Untitled.

stray kids bangchan x fem reader genre: angst masterlist an: this is a short fic i wrote last year (that got quite a reaction from my friend haha) and posted on ao3 that i forgot to post here…  x

“Long time no see.” She greeted with a smile.

“Mhmm.” He returned the gesture as she sat across him. “I’m glad you could make it.”

“Shouldn’t I be the one saying that? Considering your busy schedule.”

He let out a chuckle.

“I’m surprised you even had time to invite me for lunch.” She continued.

“Well, we have a couple of extra days to roam around. And I would be lying if I say I didn’t plan to meet you here.” He said placing one hand on his nape. “But enough about me, how have you been?”

“I’m alright.” Her lips formed a line before continuing. “I got engaged, actually.”

“You’re getting married?” It didn’t come out as a question, much to his dismay.

“Yeah.” She answered briefly.

“Wow, I, uhm, congratulations!” He was at par with words.

“Thank you.” She smiled.

“I uh hope your fiancé’s not mad you were meeting your ex.” He tried to joke around.

“Nah, he’s cool. He knows you and your family’s very dear to me, way past us dating.”

“Well, that’s a relief. Guess you got yourself a good man.”

“Guess I did.”

“But he’s even luckier.”

“Yeah?”

“Any man would be the luckiest to have you by his side. I sure was back then.” He said with a sad smile.

“Well, I was lucky to have you by my side back then too.” She offered him a warm smile.

“Just not lucky enough for you to stay.” He said a bit bitterly.

“Chris—“

“Look, I’m not saying this to mess you up or anything, but I have to be honest why I asked to meet up. I wanted to know what happened…with us.”

“I thought you already knew.” She took a deep breath, trying to sum up the reason why their three year relationship ended almost two years ago.

“We both couldn’t let go of the things we wanted for ourselves. We came to a point where we can’t compromise anymore and so,“

“You left.” He finished for her.

“I left.” She nodded.

“And you didn’t come after me.”

His head shot up to look straight at her.

“I, I didn’t know you wanted me to…”

She shrugged.

“It was you who wanted to break up.” He didn’t mean to make it sound as if he’s blaming her.

“That’s right.” She nodded.

“But hey, it turned out to be for the better, didn’t it? Mr. Producer of the year.” She tried to make light of the conversation by grinning.

“Stray Kids is getting bigger and bigger, and I get to be the homemaker I’ve always dreamed of. It’s a win-win!” She exclaimed, a tinge of bittersweetness in her eyes albeit her high pitched voice.

But was it? Was it a win-win?

Because surely, Chan felt anything but a winner.

He felt quite the opposite actually—like he’s the most defeated man, even more so now that he has completely lost his chance to get her back.

But everything she had said was right. They both wanted two different things. And no matter how they tried, and they did try, they’re inevitably bound to choose what they want or each other. And they chose the former.

So with a breath, he gave her his most genuine smile. And she knew it was so.

“I’m happy for you. Truly.” He said before pulling away from their parting embrace.

“Thank you, Chris. And I’m proud of you, too. You’re doing well. Take it easy, yeah?” She patted his arm.

“Mmm, you too. Don’t go crazy on your wedding planner, okay?”

“Yah!” She laughed and faked scolded him for hinting her perfectionist persona.

“Send me an invite?” He said when they both calmed down.

“You’re not going to try and stop it, are you?” She raised a brow.

“Tempting—aw!”

She jokingly punched his arm.

“I’m kidding! But not about sending me an invite.”

“Fine, sure.”

“Take care, yeah?” He began walking backwards, still looking at her.

“You too.”

“Don’t trip—“

“Goodbye, Chris!” She cuts him off again and rolls her eyes.

“Just making sure.” He grinned before giving one final wave.

“Goodbye.”

And they parted ways after that. x thoughts? likes and reblogs are appreciated, thank you for reading!

[luvwich]

2023 in review

(for real this time)

the short version: i started writing fanfic this year. it's been lovely. i've written two longfics with some spinoffs, all collected into two series, plus a one-shot. i wrote 242,000 words.

91.9 Royal Blue is Valerie and River being angsty idiots

Hypercritical is Vania and Tiny Mike being angsty idiots

and Red-black is an ultra-short oneshot about Songbird; no idiots, just angst

this is also my first time even engaging in a fandom in this way, and i've been delighted to become acquainted with you tumblr folks. i'll echo the sentiment i see a lot: that even if all we've done is reblog each other a few times with blathering tags, i see you as a friend, and you have done me an enrichment.

much longer version under the cut:

before this year, my only experience writing any kind of fiction was roleplaying - ages and ages ago, but something of an illustrious career, looking back. it was actually not bad practice when it came to flowery description, dialogue, and characterization. it was horrible preparation on the matter of actually constructing a plot.

then i saw River Ward's arms and realized i needed to figure out how to do plot, and quick!

Arpeggio

so like many of us, i thought river was dreamy and his quests totally unsatisfying. i also saw someone shit-talking River somewhere complain that their corpo V would never want to hang out with river because he’s an unemployed cop living with his sister, blah blah blah classist tripe, don’t get me started, but it did get me started thinking about what it would look like for a bitchy corpo V and river to fall in love. Valerie sprang from that; Arpeggio sprang from Valerie.

hi, Valerie.

so, i thought i just wanted to write a steamy river ward romance that was more satisfying than the meatless canon plot. it turns out i wanted to write an ode to everything wrong about myself, and to every shitty relationship i've had, and to death and loss. it happens. here's how it starts:

Thwap-bap! Synleather on synleather: two strong, clean hits to the punching bag. Thwapbapbap. A sandstorming morning, or afternoon — hard to keep track of time with the sun hidden and the world bathed in rust. Days like this you couldn’t even see the skyline out there; all you had was a twenty-foot radius, and within that you could imagine yourself just about anywhere. River had always kind of enjoyed the storms for that reason.

i pumped out the first eleven chapters in like a month (?!), posting as i went, from late march through april. i was shocked to get even one reader, and didn't get a lot more than that for a long while. then i fell off for a little while due to work. but then i received a single, innocent comment asking when the next chapter would be posted, and that was apparently enough to make another thirteen chapters fly out of me just in june and july.

around then i hit what i think of as the third and final "act" of Arpeggio, and the wind fell out of my sails again. i'd hit the 100k mark, had no idea if anyone was even reading it, and convinced myself the last ten chapters i'd posted were garbage and everyone had fallen off. i still loved my story & my characters, i was bursting with ideas, but felt the sudden pressure of needing to wrap everything up in a way that did justice to my vision and didn't waste anyone's time who'd bothered to read that far.

as with everything in my life, i had only the vaguest idea of how i was going to get to where i was going. i decided to batten down the hatches and actually try to plan how to get there, which slowed my pace some.

i also decided to start something new, with the express purpose of giving myself something light-hearted, sexy, and most importantly way the fuck shorter than Arpeggio to work on while i was finishing up the latter. i'd limit myself to ten chapters. i'd keep the plot tight and focused. there'd be a lot of fucking. yay! and a big part of the intent was to "prove to myself" that i could finish something. and so i started on:

Jaded

Arpeggio featured Tiny Mike as a fling, and it was played for awkwardness and absurdity, but i found him really fun to write. i had also just started a new playthrough with a new V (still a corpo — i'm really just a particular kind of bitch, truth be told), so i thought i'd throw her into some mischief.

hi Vania.

if Valerie is the parts of me that suck and are chaotic, Vania is all the scared and cute parts.

man, look at them!! *throws them both in the bug zapper*

i managed to finish Jaded in the space of about a month, from july-august. i thought it turned out wicked fun, and clicking "post" on that final chapter gave me a taste of satisfaction and accomplishment that was enough to see me through to the end of Arpeggio.

here's an excerpt from the first chapter.

Sundays always mean something. They mean something even to a dropout merc who hasn't seen the inside of a house of God in years. The last time Mike had been to church, the price of a can of ChroManticore was in the single-digit eurodollars. Even so, Sunday's no day to spend propped against a bathtub that's coated with a half inch of unidentified bio-pudding, no day to spend wheezing at death's doorstep, no day to be wondering where the smell of yourself ends and the smell of the squalid safehouse begins. Sundays are for family, beers, cleaning your guns. Not this shit.

then PL came out and i wrote a quick oneshot about Songbird.

Red-black

i could easily write more about Red-black than there are actual words in the thing, but i won't. it's a bittersweet 69 sesh with a cyborg. it's about betrayal and bodies. i'm pleased with it. i might expand on it one day, but to be frank, i don't think i can write extensively about Songbird in a way the character deserves without my life being in a way darker place than it is right now. so if you see me add a second chapter to this fic, maybe check in on me.

i finished Arpeggio in october, seven months after i started posting it. 154,347 words. i like how it turned out. i've finally stopped going back to make tweaks (although just the other day i was re-reading a chapter and was like what the fuck is this word choice? what did i even mean here? and i changed it, so i guess that was a lie. Valerie is based on me, folks!).

i'm proud of it and everything else i've written, even in moments when all i can see is flaws upon re-reading. some people read it all the way through, which is wild to me! some of them even say they liked it! world's a crazy place.

here's an excerpt from toward the end.

Wind gathered over the churning Pacific to chap her lips and ruin her hair, snarling it like the waves which crashed the battered wood. Soft gusts billowed through her jacket, touched the base of her spine, and reminded her that everything was so very enormous, and that she was yet alive, and that a great spirit ruled this ocean and always had. This is lovely, Johnny said, resting an unreal hand on her shoulder. But we gotta get back to work, princess. “Yeah. Well, let’s go check out some shops, first.”

in 2024 i probably won't write as many words, but i have a few things planned:

more Vania: Crescent & Redwood is an ongoing sequel to Jaded and a fix-it for one of the PL endings

weatherman says there's an 85% chance of more Tiny Mike porn appearing under Fixer-uppers (and obviously a 100% chance of it in Crescent)

more Valerie: i have some more Val and Riv plotted out — mostly casefics and slices of life — but i need to be in a real fucking mood to write her these days

a really quite raunchy romp with President Myers is almost done baking

i have a Solomon Reed ditty on the backburner

who the fuck knows

anyway, even if all you've read of my writing was a snippet or two i've shared on tumblr, thanks so much for reading. seeya in '24.

[tiggymalvern]

Burn Notice - Sam and Elsa

I've decided to make this a new post instead of a reblog, since it didn't have much connection to all the other stuff we were talking about. @darkskywishes referred to Sam and Elsa getting a happy ending in the show, and I've actually been giving this a lot of thought over the last several days, because I'm splitting them up in the fic I'm writing right now, for plot reasons (I wrote some of the relevant scene this morning). But the more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that relationship's not going to survive too long after the series finale. So here's the plot of Burn Notice from Elsa's perspective. She's a successful businesswoman, owner of some serious Miami real estate. She meets this guy who's funny, charming, and canonically good in bed XD. He carries a couple of concealed weapons, but he's ex-miltary, he's got all the permits, and this is Florida, so unremarkable enough. He does some kind of freelance work that means he keeps odd hours, and sometimes he gets a phone call and takes off at a moment's notice, breaking their dinner plans. But hey, she's busy too, she understands how work sometimes eats into personal time, she owns an empire. It's actually pretty convenient - neither of them are clingy, neither of them place too many demands on the other's time, and it all works really well. After a while, it's working so well, it's not just casual fun any more, they're actually serious. He tells her a bit more about the freelance work he does with his friends - it's obvious he's not telling her everything, but she doesn't tell him all the details about her business either, it's just not that interesting. But they help out people who find themselves with problems, and it sounds like they're doing a good thing. She doesn't really get to meet these friends of his much, but she spends a lot of time running her business, so it's not a big deal. And occasionally the staff mention some odd people who turn up asking for her boyfriend, and whatever, his job is his business. And then suddenly her boyfriend and his friends are criminals? She's got the CIA and the FBI up in ALL her shit, telling her that they're murderers and kidnappers and god knows what else, and her boyfriend's telling her the whole thing's some huge misunderstanding. He tells her how much he loves her, that he and his friends need to sneak out of the US for a while, but he'll be back as soon as they've got everything straightened out. And she knows he's a decent guy, not what the cops are telling her, so she believes him. A month or two later, he does come back, and in between he got shot??? And he can't really explain much of it; he says some of it's classified and the CIA made him sign a gag order, but everything's been sorted. The CIA and the FBI seem to be leaving them both alone now, so that sounds like it's true, and she loves him and trusts him and everything goes back to the way it was. Until a year later, when the exact same thing happens again. Her boyfriend and his friends are all over the TV as the subjects of a manhunt, this time as suspected terrorists. He disappears, and then re-emerges a few days or weeks later (the show timeline's unclear there, but my guess would be closer to weeks), once again saying it was all a big misunderstanding and everything's fine now. No, he couldnt call, he was in jail. No, not the kind of jail where people get to have lawyers and visitors, more the Guantanamo kind of jail. But this second time around it sounds a whole lot less convincing, doesn't it? How could the same unfortunate big misunderstanding happen to the same people twice??? And absolutely nothing has changed. He's still keeping unusual hours, still getting phone calls that require him to drop everything and run. He still has odd friends and acquaintances, though he has less of them now because some of them are DEAD. Does she stay with him? Does she really? Does he still seem as funny and charming as when they first met? Add to that the damage to her business and her professional reputation, when her colleagues and partners are whispering behind her back about how she's shacked up with that terrorist dude from the news. And the non-zero possibility that at some point, after yet another argument when she's asking her boyfriend what the hell he's actually doing and how dangerous is it, is he going to get shot again or killed? That after one too many of those, when she's upset and wavering over whether or not to kick him out, her son might give her the full details about the time he and her boyfriend stole a drug lord's ecstasy lab truck and drove it to Miami while being shot at... Sorry. I just can't believe Sam and Elsa are going the distance. Yes, it was Elsa who told Sam not to abandon his friends the first time they were all being hunted, but that was the FIRST time. She didn't expect it to become a regular thing. She's a businesswoman, not a martyr. And she did NOT sign up for this to be the rest of her life.

[entamewitchlulu]

I posted 2,197 times in 2022

152 posts created (7%)

2,045 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@blueeyeswhitegarden

@kintatsujo

@merryfortune

@seasaltmemories

@oddeyesarcpendulumdragon

I tagged 2,193 of my posts in 2022

#epic art - 1,115 posts

#pokemon - 373 posts

#videos - 238 posts

#yugioh arc v - 143 posts

#in the tags - 92 posts

#pokemon trainer volo - 91 posts

#spy x family - 90 posts

#kitties - 89 posts

#shojo kageki revue starlight - 87 posts

#gifs - 79 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#i'm actually more annoyed about it in hindsight than i was when i was emotional and crying about the finale last night when i wrote the post

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

hi i was thinking about how i like komanami again and i feel like i’ve never seen anyone mention the Drama, the Tragedy, the Romance of komaeda essentially committing suicide to save the traitor from himself and the others whom he believed were irredeemable Despairs, and without his knowledge, the traitor was in fact Chiaki, the girl whose loss caused them all to become Despair in the first place. Whether he knew he was doing it or not, he sacrificed himself to save Chiaki, the girl he couldn’t save last time, and i just think that’s full of so much angsty romantic emotions that it makes me wanna curl up in a ball and think about it for several hours

50 notes - Posted March 24, 2022

#4

also my favorite thing about volo is even though he’s completely unhinged and obsessed he’s also just, genuinely, a very cute person who actually genuinely loves his pokemon a lot. like, he’s got a togekiss, you can’t get that pokemon without loving it a lot.

he’s not a villain for evil reasons, it’s more of like...an excess of love, i think.

58 notes - Posted May 15, 2022

#3

I think a friend said it (maybe in the tags of something? sorry i don’t remember who it was ;w;), but thinking about Yu-Gi-Oh today and the loss of Takahashi recently...despite my growing away from DM out of all the yugioh series somewhat, it does bear saying that Yu-Gi-Oh is probably one of the few shonen series out there that doesn’t end with an epilogue where everyone is happily straight married.

Other than just being really nice to not have something like that in general, I think it says a lot about what kind of a story Yu-Gi-Oh is. Yu-Gi-Oh accepts the fact that stories never really end, and doesn’t bother putting a tidy bow on things. The story of Atem was over, but the story of his friends will continue on, and to go forward and time and see them all paired off as adults would be against the spirit of the story. It’s all about beginnings out of endings. Our stories keep going in the people we leave behind, even when we’ve stepped off the stage.

I meant to write something about how much Yu-Gi-Oh meant to me in honor of Takahashi-sensei’s memory, but I think this rumination turned into all I needed to say while I was typing it out. Yu-Gi-Oh is important in a lot of ways. It’s so much more than a commercial for a card game. At its heart, it was a story that Takahashi wanted to tell, and the stories that came after it in his universe were also told by people who wanted to tell emotional stories, not just stories that sold toys.

Takahashi-sensei’s part of the story has come to a close, but the story won’t ever end because we are all still here with the memory of it.

Thank you, Takahashi-sensei. You’ve changed a lot of lives.

151 notes - Posted July 14, 2022

#2

From Far Away is the superior isekai because it is the only one, to my knowledge, to have the protagonist not understand the language of the fantasy world she goes to, and have to take the time and effort to actually learn it. This is both excellent from a worldbuilding standpoint, a narrative standpoint that stands out in a sea of isekai in which the world seems to bend into shape specifically for the protagonist, and also because it gives us great moments like this

[image id: a manga page. In the first panel, a girl with short hair says “Good job, honey,” to a man with long black hair, who is jerking back with a blush and a look of surprise. In the next panel, the dark haired man, still blushing, says, “Honey?” The short haired girl has a confused smile on her face, thinking “What?” In the last panel, the two are surrounded by three older men who appear to be teasing them. They are saying “Aha! So you’re a married couple, eh? What a young couple!” “To be honest, I was wondering about you two all this time. I get it, you’re husband and wife!” The dark haired man, still blushing responds “No!! That was...” Another man replies, “It’s okay...Don’t be embarrassed.” /end id]

[image id: A manga panel of the same dark haired man and the girl with short hair. The dark haired man has his head in his hand, blushing, while the girl looks at him with a slightly nervous, confused expression. A caption is pointing at the girl that reas “she wants to ask about the phrase they’ve been saying over and over again, “married couple.” What does it mean? But she’s afraid to ask.” /end id.]

158 notes - Posted February 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

this came to me in a vision

544 notes - Posted February 18, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

If DCLA characters had Tumblr part 6 🕺🏼

🤌🏻 luz-camara-y-accion Follow

So my dad left before I was born. Apparently the second my mom told him she was pregnant with me, he just ran off.

Anyway to this day I am wondering… what if he’s still out there? What if he found another woman and had another child?

What I am saying is that, imagine if I suddenly bump into someone who almost looks like me, is also from Italy and then turns out to be my half-sibling or something.

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Would be so wild lol

That reminds me, when I was smaller I randomly got the feeling I had an older brother or something. But I feel like it was just an ”only child wishing they had siblings” thing.

3 notes

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

I always have such weird dreams. I need to write them down more.

🏍️ entre-dos-mundos Follow

Did you dream about me? 😉

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

You wish 😉

🥸 jeremias-realperson Follow

Hey! This website has guidelines and you’re breaking them!

I’m giving you a warning before reporting you.

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

And I’m giving you another warning before I block you, weirdo who reblogs my posts

🥸 jeremias-realperson Follow

You can’t! I have not found it, but I am sure there is a rule to not block people without reason. Blocking someone without reason is against the law!

12 notes

🥸 jeremias-realperson Follow

Hello. There is something weird with Tumblr. I am trying to click on some blogs and it says they are ”ghost blogs” or that they ”do not exist”. But they clearly do exist! Is something wrong with the system?

🙍🏻‍♂️ my-name-is-tomas Follow

I’m having the same issue 😢

2 notes

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Did anyone elses’ guardian give them ”the talk” by using flower metaphors? I’m trying to figure out how (not) normal my childhood was, and if anyone else can never see daisys the same way ever again.

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Mine did not give me any. Rather she just expected me to know. I got to learn by reading and hearing girls talk in school.

Also when I got my period and told her, she sighed and scolded me for being so ”late” 🤨 (I was 13 how is that late)

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Haha. Uh.

So I got the talk when I was 12. Age I got my period? 11.

Did not know what it was. Thought I did something wrong. Refused to tell her because ”she would never understand and probably scold me for not being careful” or something.

She found out on her own, probably because she noticed a stain somewhere, and I was almost crying, begging her to not be mad and she was like ”😐 I knew this would happen, so I don’t see a reason to be mad. I just didn’t know it would happen so soon 😐”. She then gave me pads and told me to use them whenever this happened. She also gave me a small smile and stroked my hair slowly. Then she said ”I should have known you were an early bloomer… 🙂”

I had no idea what that meant until a YEAR later when when she finally gave me the talk. And then it was all in metaphors of flowers.

#what was up with her and flowers seriously

11 notes

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Most delusional crushes you’ve had?

I’ll start: Someone on the internet who wrote nice posts and who I was so obsessed with meeting, to the point where I ran around trying to search for her whenever I heard she was nearby.

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

Omg same

📸 felicityfornow Follow

… you’re welcome?

15 notes

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

People tell me so many dirty jokes that at this point I’m assuming that everything is a dirty joke when it not even is.

📸 felicityfornow Follow

I’m sorry, I feel like this is my fault…

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

Was that a dirty joke?

#seriously I need to know #I can’t keep track of what is and what isn’t

40 notes

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Hey! I have a brand new fic I posted today!

Check it out! 💫

Posting every saturday🪐

2 notes

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

It's so fun how easy I could find my friends here 😂 Half of them didn't even have to say they had tumblr, I found them anyway.

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Wish I could say the same, but people refuse to tell me and I can't seem to figure it out.

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Strawberry boy when he can't figure out who runs the tumblr blog even with clear signs of who it might be:

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Hey! Only Luna can call me that!

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

If I'm the only one allowed, why did you name your blog that?

9 notes

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

So like. I dream about the future and stuff.

I dreamed that I was pregnant.

And like. That may happen at some point. In the future. But my dreams that predict the future are often stuff that happens basically the next day.

Not that it… would make sense for me to be pregnant right now…

Or, well…

…

I’m buying a test.

#vilu gets real #SO glad my dad is not on Tumblr he would freak if he saw this

1 note

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

I usually joke about myself being the most distracted person in the world, but at times it feels like everyone looks down on me for it. I know that is not the case, but sometimes I feel like it.

Because I am like that, I easily forget stuff, and having to have people remind me, it sometimes feels like people don’t take me as seriously? Like they see me more as a child than someone their age. I mean, sometimes I feel like my friends act like I am their baby sister just tagging along and ”not knowing as much”. And I know they don’t actually see me like that. I know that’s just how I feel. But… ugh. I wish I could concentrate more on things, I wish I could not forget stuff so easily. I wish I could keep my mind focused on what people want me to focus on, and yet my brain does not let me.

I wish I didn’t feel like I somehow missed a manual on how you’re supposed to act in life. Why does everyone know how to behave in social situations except for me?

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Hey Luna? I know you tagged this with ”may delete later” and all that, but I need to assure you, yes, that is only in your head about us seeing you as ”someone younger who does not know as much”. We do not see you like that!

In all honestly… we’re all on the same page when it comes to ”maturity” I would say. Trust me when I say, I can be very distracted too. You just have not seen it yet, but trust me.

I guess I can sort of relate to ”not knowing how to act in social situations”, but I guess when there’s more of us, we act in our own way that we then percieve as ”normal” but then we meet someone else who never would act that way.

Anyway, we love you Luna, and you’re not alone with thoughts like this 💜

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

Luna I need you to know, if you ever feel ”childish”, just know I am way more childish than you.

Seriously, I’ve been in situations where I go out of them feeling like I acted like a toddler and everyone else was so mature and cool in comparison.

You should just KNOW about all the antics I’ve had that you haven’t witnessed. If there is someone who does not know how to act in social situations it’s me.

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

Luna sometimes I’ve felt like I am younger than YOU. Seriously. I don’t know how anyone has ever seen me as mature 🤣

And I may joke that you’re distracted, but I never look down on you for it 🩵 Because you’re also at the same time very focused on what you want, when you get an idea there is no stopping you! And I admire that so much about you 💖

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

Oh my gosh, guys… I really was about to go delete my vent post because I made it under such a spontaneous rush and then it felt weird to just write all of that.

But I feel really happy by your messages, and that I am not alone 😅 💕💕

I still wish I wasn’t distracted in the way I am, though.

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

HELP, it’s so wild finding this post now like 4 years later?

I’m happy I never feel that insecure about why I can be so distracted and all over the place anymore. Because I did look into it and I did get an explanation 👏🏼 And honestly I really should have done that earlier because 😅😅 there was some CLEAR signs.

But it did feel validating hearing people had similar thoughts as me, especially about feeling like you’re more ”childish” than what society expects you to be.

60 notes

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

People are asking why my ”childhood rival” is my childhood rival and if we are still rivals:

Basically I was born 2 days before her and, while I of course do not remember this, I have been told we met the first time in the hospital when I came for my 48 hour checkup. I really imagine newborn me seeing her screaming her lungs out after just being born and thinking ”what a drama queen”.

Idk, we just provoked each other by existing. There is a picture of us on a playdate when we were around 9 months old, and I chew on her arm. I guess the adults thought this was cute and that we played, but I am sure that I was attacking her.

From the memories I do have, we have had epic fights like on the christmas party where we caused a mayhem, we fell down from a tree together during a wrestle game, we poked and teased each other so much at school that an assigned teacher had to be a guard at recess so that we would not interact… and then there was all the things that happened when we were teens…

Is she still my rival? Yeah. But I guess it’s ”playful teasing” now more than actively hating her.

If I hated her, I’d ignore her. And we have never been able to ignore each other.

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Shut up you nut 💜

[oraclekleo]

I want to preface this message by saying that I accidentally sent this WHOLE THING to ANOTHER READER I DON’T EVEN FOLLOW and now I’m mortified 💀 For some reason I thought of taking a screenshot of what I wrote and I’m extremely grateful to past me bc I would’ve thrown myself out of the window if I had to type it again 🌚

…

Ok Kleo, it's finally time for the compatibility game feedback I'm so sorry for taking so long 😭 you posted it right before uni started and then I got sucked down the school and work waterslide and kinda procrastinated it🥺

As I told you the other day, when you posted about not getting a lot of feedback and reblogs, I feel kinda "morally ambiguous" about mature-themed celebrity content, just because I think I'd feel weird if I found random sexual content about me online, posted publicly (especially if it was very different from who I really am), but I don't want to be a hypocrite because I did ask you for this reading myself 😬

So... All in all, I think you're quite respectful with the way you conduct and write your readings. I get a more "for research purposes" vibe from them, as opposed to what I've seen in other blogs I've come across, that are outright objectifying and disrespectful in my opinion. So I guess I do feel comfortable with your content? This is just me trying to take a moral stance, so l'm not trying to "give my approval" or anything. I'm just a person who thinks things through a lot Imao

Now about the reading itself...

Right off the bat you had me laughing because what do you mean you "didn't intend for the reading to be very 18+ but it turned out that way"?? 💀😭

Like was it me? Is that bad?? I'm sorry??? 🙃

The second thing that caught my eye were the cards themselves... I think I've told you before, you have so many interesting, beautiful decks and I love how they (in my opinion, at least), give the readings such a diverse, particular vibe. Is it hard to work with many different decks? Energy-wise I mean...

I think, for the most part, your reading actually resonated? (Is it weird to say it resonates if it's a hypothetical reading about my interactions with a person I don't know personally? 😂)

I remember reading a while ago that Yeonjun could be an Aries rising, so if I compare what you said with the Astro synastry between us, it does totally check out! And our charts would be super similar too, since l'm also a Virgo sun with Aries rising

Power couple? My Jupiter would be on his MC, and his Jupiter on my 2H. We both have libra mercuries and our Vertex are conjunct, so... I smell ✨success✨

Deep soul exploration? Based on my only, but tee long relationship, I know I crave that deep emotional intimacy, getting to know each other's darkest bits and learning to love them, and all that dramatic shit Imao. He has a Scorpio moon that would be in my 8H, his Chiron conjunct my Pluto in his 8H and our suns are conjunct too, so yeah I could see the vision.

Do I see him being devoted and submissive? Yes, but personally I think it would be more of an "equivalent exchange" in this personal dynamic, where we'd both be equally devoted and submissive to each other. I see him listening to me a lot, because I'm on the mature, rational side and he gives me "mommy issues” vibes, but I'd honestly wear myself to the bone to make my loved ones happy, so there's that lol

Astrologically speaking, I have my moon, Venus and mars in Leo 5H, and he has Leo Venus 5H too so that would "confirm" the love language and relationship dynamics, but also hints to a lot of attraction, which relates to the sexual chemistry bit of your reading.

I can say you nailed the neck and voice thing for sure, at least on my side... My neck is definitely one of my weak spots, and I like guys being "vocal" so much you can't imagine 😩 12/10 for sure

Also foreplay is key for me, so much that I can't even think of it as "fore"play, it's an essential part of the whole thing, not just the appetizer..

Now, as of now I can't really see myself being dominant enough to enjoy restraining a guy per se, but l'lI like it if I know he likes it, and even more if i know he'll "get back" to me later lol like that would be the end goal maybe?

To summarize, it was very interesting to read, like I'm amazed at how you can get information like that from the cards! And it was damn accurate too.

Again, sorry for taking so long but you've probably realized by now that I tend to write A LOT so sometimes I feel overwhelmed when thinking of writing feedback because I know it will take me a while to write the whole thing

(Also if you think it's just TOO long please tell me so I can try to make it shorter next time 😂)

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR DOING THIS READING FOR ME (and all the other reading as well)… You’re really talented, and definitely have a gift for tarot 🥹

Bye!🥰

Hello!

Don't worry at all. As I said, I don't care about time, I'm always happy to receive feedback. 💖💖💖

Honestly, I don't understand the fuss with NSFW tarot readings. Do people have the same issues with smut fics? Because it's basically the same. Only in tarot readings you base your fantasy on what you interpret from the cards but it's still a work of fiction. Tarot isn't a science. What's written in tarot readings aren't objective facts, they are notions, impressions and interpretations.

Also, I do these readings about celebrities because they have public status. When you become a celebrity you deliberately give a large portion of your privacy up. Not all of it, but much more than a regular non-celeb person. This is not violating their privacy. Fanfics also don't violate their privacy. These are merely fantasies shared. If you are dellusional and want to take these works of fiction as a fact, you will do so no matter whether it's NSFW or not and it's harmful and the only solution is to educate the delusional person not to censor free speech and creative content.

I know it's difficule to take moral stand here but this is how I see it and people are free to disagree with me and even unfollow me if they wish so.

But to like and read a NSFW content but be ashamed for liking it is a road to hell. And it's weak and pretentious. I know it might sound unfair but a mentally healthy and mature person does not feel ashamed for what they like as long as it doesn't break the law. That's my personal opinion here and it might be a bit too strong for more sensitive individuals but once they grow up they will learn. 😊

As for your actual feedback, I'm not big on astrology so... I assume you studied it well and I take your word for it 😂

I like to use very diverse decks of cards because human nature is very diverse, too. Most people aren't just one dimensional characters. It's not difficult for me to read the different energy of the cards as I have picked them myself, I had a reason to do so, I followed my intuition. I have a connection with my decks and I acknowledge and cherish the fact that each one of them has a different 'personality'.

I have mentioned it before that even when it does sound like it resonates, the tarot readings are basically works of fiction as they are not based in research or hard facts but they are based in personal interpretations of symbolics. I think it's the basic mistake many people make, that they take tarot readings as facts. It's not like that. But people tend to follow patterns and if I hit the right pattern in the reading it will sound to you like it resonates with you. Tarot is NOT magic. My intuition picks information about you from your feedbacks and other interactions with me and the cards only help me to give sense to all those random pieces of information in my brain. It's not witchcraft, it's psychoanalysis. I understand why many people get confused here, though 😂

Once again, no need to apologize, I understand that life gets in the way and everyone needs time to think things through, especially to respond in such a detail 😀

I love your long feedbacks. You don't have to cut them short for me. 😂

Thank you so much for taking time to give your opinion on the reading! It means a lot to me 💖💖💖💖

Kleo 🦄

[apoloadonisandnarcissus]

@gilgys-ring: thank you, for your contribution, friend. You made some interesting points. I’m replying through here because I’ve already answered to some of the ideas you gave, above, and it will be relevant to what I’m about to write here.

I also agree that some binding probably happened but I don’t think it necessarily HAS to be on purpose because someone wrote that Sauron might have stabbed her with the crown knowing that he wound would suck her into the Unseen world but he didn’t stab her fatally and so giving her time finally yield to him and hand over Nenya which he could have used to heal that wound as a reward for joining him. He wasn’t above trying literally every tactic in the book to get her to “decide” to join him but since she refused every trick he resorted to violence and the fact that he took the 9 but didn’t take nenya looks to me like he desperately needs this picture to hold that when she joins him he “convinced” and not outright controlled her to do anything because he wants her to yield to him “of her own will”.  

If the blood binding happened, it has to be intentional: this has been Sauron’s desire ever since 1x06, when he was still Halbrand (aka “Repentant Mairon”). This was what he proposed to her in 1x08; you bind me to the light, and I bind you to power. He wants this; giving Galadriel his power, and harvesting her light for himself.  

And, yes, Galadriel’s soul would go to the Unseen world, no matter Sauron’s true intention with this (this is a confirmed fact by 2x08):

As for Nenya, we still don’t fully understand how the rings of power work. From what we saw in 2x01, Nenya chose Galadriel as its ring-bearer; this can be a clue that the Three rings of power might have a “will of their own” like the One ring has.

Meaning: Sauron knows that Nenya belongs to Galadriel, and only her can surrender it to him. And this is most likely the reason why he just didn’t take her off her hand (like he did with the Nine).

Galadriel surrendered Nenya to Elrond in 2x04 for safe keeping, and Adar was able to retrieve the ring by force in 2x07, only he was the one who ended up returning it to Galadriel. We see this dynamic with the One ring, and how much it wants to return to its master, Sauron, in “Lord of the Rings” trilogy. What if the Three work in the same way? 

I have a hard time believing that he actually puppermaster-controlled her to do anything because he wants her to yield to him “of her own will”.  Also I don’t remember if we ever saw him puppetmaster-controlling anyone to a point where they changed their thought, just deceiving with multiple people and then puppetmaster-control with the guards stabbing each other for example. But deceiving Celebrimbor was also never about puppetmastering him but showing and telling him stuff that changed his perception and the guards seemed terrified when he puppetmaster-controlled them right? Unlike Galadriel when she was about to give him Nenya.  

You are correct, because Sauron isn’t a “master-puppeteer”; what he does is “planting seeds” on people’s minds. He’s like a demon whispering in your ear, giving you hints on what to do. Celebrimbor explained this to the audience, in 2x05: “It is a game you play, is it not? Sowing seeds in others' minds and then convincing them that the fruit is of their own thought.”  

However (and this is why this reblog is important), the concept of “free will” is a major theme in Tolkien lore. Sauron might “plant these seeds”, but it’s ultimately other beings’ choice to follow what he says, or not. Sauron is a personification of evil in the legendarium, which means others have the choice to either follow him (evil), or turn away (good). That’s why Sauron tells Celebrimbor “you chose this”; because he, indeed, has. He has chosen to follow evil.  

“That’s why I think he just though she finally got it and gave a shot and she played along to idk fuck with him?” 

Like I said in my OG post, this is underestimating Sauron’s power. He’s one of the most powerful Maiar in existence. Galadriel doesn’t have the power to deceive him, even if she wanted to.  

Another thought was that he stabbing with the crown was symbolic for him whether he knows of any binding power of the blood or of the magic. He’s petty and angry in that moment and he doesn’t use the sword but stabs her with the symbol of his earlier proposal to elevate her above everything else in Middle-earth to show her how hard she fucked this up for herself and what she forced him to do to her if we know one thing about that guy it’s that he’s melodramatic as fuck. Also I agree that he obviously didn’t want to kill her because if that was the case he would have just done it. Maybe he learned from his fuck-up with Celebrimbor to try and control the damage even in anger. 

Sauron knows blood magic, indeed; he’s been a master of it for thousands of years (probably for longer than Galadriel herself is alive). This is why blood binding theory is the one I subscribe to. 

Morgoth’s crown was a symbol of Morgoth’s power and his desires. I talked about this on this post. However, Morgoth’s goal wasn’t to rule only Middle-earth, but the entire world (Arda) by corrupting it. Had him stabbed her with any other crown, maybe, but with this specific object, I don’t think so. Because Sauron’s offer wasn’t to make Galadriel queen of Arda, but queen of Middle-earth.

Sauron doesn’t stab Galadriel in anger; in fact, we see him stopping for a bit, while he’s looking at her, and then he goes for it. This means this was something he did on a conscious and intentional way, and not on a fit rage (like with Celebrimbor).  

Blood binding and Sauron’s intentions

My pal @rey-jake-therapist and I were in one of our usual friendly discussions about this topic in one of her posts, but since the theme digresses so much from her original intent and I’m pretty much spamming her OG post by now, we decided to move the debate to here, and invite the fandom to join in.

As customary, Rey always presents good and challenging counter-arguments to mine. Because it's possible to disagree and keep it civil and friendly. This is good fandom etiquette, and this is the point of debates, after all: sharing different ideas and perspectives on the same topic. We usually end up agreeing on disagreeing and it’s all good in the end.

What were Sauron’s intentions and goals in stabbing Galadriel with Morgoth’s crown in 2x08? 

2x01 / 2x08 parallels: “Only blood can bind.” (Adar; 1x05)

1) Binding/Enslaving Galadriel to his Will

Rey made the case for Sauron’s intention of possessing and dominating Galadriel using Morgoth’s crown. And that we should focus on present intentions, and not lose yourselves in “what if” scenarios (with this I totally agree, so, let's focus on the present time).

This theory states that Sauron wanted to enslave Galadriel to his will, by having her handing over Nenya, in submission. This would explain why Galadriel seemed “bewitched” while removing Nenya from her finger, and almost surrendering it to him.  

This means Sauron has “outgrown” his intentions from 1x08, when he wanted to serve Galadriel (due to his Maia nature; he was created to be a servant to a Vala). Now, he wants full power, and he’s not willing to share it with anyone else (Galadriel included):

Sauron only wants to dominate/possess Galadriel now: she humiliated him when she refused him in 1x08, he developed an obsession for her, so he punished her with physical pain (the stabbing), and attempted to possess her so she would follow him.

And so, if blood binding theory is true, this would work like the Nine and the Nazgûl, with Galadriel not only being a servant, but a slave to Sauron. This theory can also imply she would have, indeed, become a Ringwraith herself, as her soul was entering the Unseen world (“Shadow realm”) when Gil-galad and Arondir found her.

This is a very strong theory, and I think many fellow fans share this view, as well. Would it pass Sauron to do something like this? Absolutely not, and it would not be OCC for him to have this intention, at all.

So what’s my problem, you might ask?

This facial expression right here:

Unless Charlie was having a case of fatigue eyes due to extensive use of contact lenses (speaking from personal experience), there’s no explanation for Sauron getting all teared up when he believed Galadriel was about to join him, if his intention was to enslave her to his will, and that’s what he was doing here.

And no, Galadriel can’t deceive him. This is underestimating Sauron’s power: he’s the “great deceiver”, and only he can deceive himself, really. And if they are, indeed, blood bound, Galadriel couldn’t possibly hide anything from him. And I already made the case for how Galadriel was about to join him, freely, in another post.

2) “You bind me to the light, I bind you to power”

Speaking of Sauron’s intentions, we need to remember the creator of this character and what he says about him. Tolkien tells us (in Letters 131, 153 and 183) that “Annatar” still has “fair motives”: he’s a reformer who, truly, wants to rebuild/heal Middle-earth, and he’s genuine in this endeavor (nevermind his methods, that’s why he’s a villain). Rey counter-argumented this does not translate in a desire to serve Galadriel, and she’s correct.

However, what was his intention in 1x08?  

And if Sauron still has a genuine concern in healing Middle-earth, what if his intention with Morgoth’s crown was giving Galadriel his power, while harvesting her light for himself, just like he wanted in 1x08? And if this was his intention, why would he keep her soul “trapped” in the Unseen world? What if he wanted to make her queen of the Seen and Unseen world? Not a mere queen of Middle-earth, but as nearly as possible to a literal Goddess he could serve?

Because Sauron/Mairon can’t escape his nature, he was created to be a servant, a Maia to a Vala. And, right now, he doesn’t want to serve Morgoth. Even though he does it, unconsciously, and perhaps he recognized this after he killed Celebrimbor in a rage fit (something that’s completely OCC for him, because that’s not who he is; Sauron is a control freak, a mastermind).

This scene with Galadriel happened after that; and Sauron cried because, when he looked up at Celebrimbor, all he could see was Morgoth’s bounds on him reaching the surface. And that chaotic destruction is Morgoth, not Sauron. And he doesn't want that at this point on his character arc in Tolkien lore. I think this is when Sauron makes the decision to bind himself to Galadriel, one way or the other.

I absolutely disagree with the idea that Sauron stabbed Galadriel to punish her or kill her: if that was his true intention he would have used Morgoth sword (he was already using it in his duel with Galadriel the entire time), not a powerful dark magic object infused with own blood (because Adar used it to destroy his previous physical form), nor he would have carried that thing around the entire time while mentioning "binding" twice (“I never believed I could be... Until today. Fighting at your side, I... I felt... If I could just hold on to that feeling, keep it with me always, bind it to my very being, then I...” (1x06); “The door is still open”).

“Binding” (usually connected with “blood oaths”) and “enslaving” are two different kinds of blood magic. Because the Nine rings of power are pieces of jewelry meant to be worn by ring-bearers, with a small dosage of Sauron’s blood (along with other specific spells). Morgoth’s crown not only has a lot of Sauron’s blood on it, but we also don’t know what kind of dark magic it actually contains: we only know it was made to hold the Silmarils and it can destroy Sauron’s physical form (implying that, maybe, Sauron doesn’t have much control over this object?).

Sauron accidentally sharing his power with Galadriel is nonsense to me, as well. He's ancient, has been around since before the world existed (he helped create that very world), has been a master in blood magic and every sort of sorcery for thousands of years, and he’s one of the most powerful Maia in existence, but isn’t aware he would be giving Galadriel some of his power by binding himself to her? When he clearly mentions this in 1x08? "I bind you to power". Because Galadriel appears to be seeing the world in a whole new way in 2x08 epilogue (and even her eyes look off):

Besides, Galadriel is suppose to be a powerful sorceress of her own right in Tolkien lore, mastering several powers. In the legendarium Galadriel own power was amplified by Nenya, yes, but this isn’t the case in “Rings of Power”, because we haven’t seen her displaying any magical powers in Season 1. She won’t have any other powers in the show (besides healing and foresight/visions), completely cutting off with Tolkien legendarium? If the show keeps it true to the lore on that bit, where did her powers (look into others’ hearts and minds, and communicate telepathically) come from? Will they “magically” appear out of nowhere? When and how? But, if these powers came from Sauron it’s because he wanted it to happen, and that was his intention. And if that was his intention, what was his purpose with this if not to serve her?

And Sauron does share power: he does share his power with those he wants to enslave; via the rings of power. That’s why Celebrimbor tells him he’s their prisoner, and not their master. However, these are two very different kinds and degrees of magic. Because with the rings ("enslave") he can control how he wants it to go; while sharing his actual power with another living being ("blood oath") is uncontrollable. He can’t possible know the end result of it.

I know there’s a popular theory that Adar was blood bound to Sauron, but I don’t think so. Adar not only doesn't have any magical powers, but he wouldn’t be able to kill Sauron himself, if that was true. Blood binding is a blood oath, and it’s forever, unbreakable, and it prevents beings from harming or acting against one another (physically) in any direct way. That’s why “Rings of Power” introduced the clue that Sauron might be blood bound to Morgoth in 1x03; and that’s the reason he could never leave nor forsake his master even when he came to resent him.

This means, that, in "Rings of Power", Sauron, most likely, only has Morgoth as a reference to blood oaths. And he probably thinks this will go the same way with Galadriel, and he’ll keep her light to himself, allowing him to keep Morgoth at bay. Only her “light” is merely aesthetic, really. The light that shines on her hair and eyes is the light of the Two Trees of Valinor, and it shines on every Elf that was born during the Years of the Trees (and not only her). Because Galadriel is a complex and nuanced character, and ticking bomb that can turn dark at any minute.  

[secretswiftymarvelfan]

Silver Fox - Chris Evans x Reader

Summary: Chris isn’t too happy that he’s getting older, good thing he has you around.

Word Count: 634

Warning: Age Gap (Reader is in their early 30s)! Bit of Angst! Insecurity! Fluff!

A/N: I wrote this on my phone almost immediately after waking up so it’s barely edited!

You let out a long yawn as you walked out of the closet dressed in a pair of shorts and one of Chris’ old tops. You ran your hands down your face as you walked across the bedroom towards the bed that was calling for you.

As you went you passed by the bathroom where you spotted Chris stood in front of the mirror. You paused in your journey turning towards the bathroom, leaning against the doorframe as you admired him.

All he wore was some dark blue checkered pj bottoms, his bare chest on show giving you the best view of his numerous tattoos. As your eyes ran over his body, appreciating what was yours, your gaze finally settled on his face.

You watched as he tilted his head side to side, up and down, fingers running through his beard. The small frown on his face and long sigh telling you something wasn’t right.

“Hey” you say gently getting his attention.

He startles slightly, having not realised you had been watching him. His hands instantly fall from his face as he turns to face you, trying to lean casually against the counter.

“Hey?” He says with a slight questioning tone.

“What’s wrong?” You ask him gently.

He shakes his head slightly giving you a smile you could tell was forced “nothing’s wrong”

“Chris”

Chris lets out a long sigh knowing he wasn’t going to get out of this one, he glances back in the mirror the frown from before reappearing.

“I’m going grey” he sighs sadly.

You frown slightly, surprised and confused that that was the reason he was upset.

“I know it’s stupid and it’s a natural part of ageing but it just reminds me of how old I am and how much older I am then you and I worry that you won’t like it” he explains turning back to face the mirror, hands running over the small grey patches in his beard.

“You’re right it is stupid”

You close the distance between the two of you, your hand taking his getting him to face you. Chris watches your every move with wary eyes as your hands run up his arms, over his chest before moving up to cup his cheeks. Your thumbs gently running over his beard.

“Because I love your little grey patches, I think they’re so unbelievably sexy” you tell him gently, his eyes widening in surprise.

“You don’t mean that”

“I do, I love all of you, every single grey hair, and wrinkle” you say making his face scrunch up “because it means you’ve lived a life, and a pretty amazing one if I have to say”

A small smile plays at the corner of his lips but you could tell he was still unconvinced.

“All these wrinkles” you say, your thumb running over his smile lines “remind me of every time you’ve smiled and laughed, which I love because its the best sight in the world and makes my heart soar”

“And I love these little grey patches because I already know you are going to be the sexiest silver fox in the world” you smirk making Chris chuckle gently.

“But the thing I love most is that for every grey hair, or wrinkle or anything, there is a new part of you for me to love” you finish, the smile on Chris’ face back in full force showing off those smile lines you loved so much.

He cups your cheeks guiding your lips up to his, all the love and thanks he could give filtering through. As he pulls away he presses another kiss to your forehead muttering under his breath how much he loved you.

“I love you too sweetheart” you smile tilting your head back so you could capture his lips once more.

💙💙💙💙

PLEASE LIKE FOLLOW AND REBLOG!

Masterlist

I don’t have a taglist but follow @secretswiftymarvelfanlibrary and turn on post notifications!

[bunny-rambles]

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

“the sun, to my moon.”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

characters; Kaedehara Kazuha, gn!reader

cw/tw; descriptions of depression, loneliness, hurt/comfort, vent writing

word count; 1k

notes; I posted this about an hour ago, but I thought it was too personal so I edited it down. So if you saw this on your feed already, sorry;;; writing is how I cope, so this is a vent post, but I wanted to use Kazuha because I really don’t write enough for him. If you feel like the reader, please reach out and talk to someone. I love you. Oh, and you can decide if Kazuha is the sun or the moon. Personally, I see him as both :,)

Reblogs and comments are highly appreciated, please do so if you like this !!

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Where do you go from here?

If this isn’t the place you were meant to be, where is? What now?

Can you call yourself lost, when logically, you know where your house is? Ah, but that place isn’t home, is it. It’s not warm, it’s not a relieved sigh from a long journey. No... Comfort seemed obsolete no matter where you went. All you were was another drifting soul, another number, another leaf scraping along the ground as it’s blown forcefully away from the tree it had sprouted from. There was no home for you. There was no friend to laugh with, for you only held hands with your shadow, trembling fingers intertwined with the mysterious, inky darkness. It was the only friend you had, in your eyes. At least it never hurt you, right?

Perhaps having no one was okay.

You told yourself that lie, over and over again, even after the countless pining stares you sent your colleagues when they walked side by side, mouths moving animatedly in a less than riveting conversation, but it was still something. Why didn’t you have anyone? Was there something wrong with you?

The void behind you beckoned, empty arms wrapping around you from behind. It almost felt like a lover's embrace, icy lips pressed against your already cold ear lobe. It whispered something.

“You don’t deserve it.”

The once comforting arms turned into painful vices, clamping down on your frail chest, crushing everything in its iron grip. “Why would they ever want someone like you?” It continued its onslaught, hissing harshly in your ear. “Don’t bother wasting their time.”

As you had done one too many times, you turned around to give in, to go to the building that you hesitantly labelled as your home, but a loud call of your name caught your attention. The figure behind you vanished, another hand reaching out from the darkness to hold your shoulder. A shocked gasp ripped itself from your throat, and you whipped around to see who it was.

The ronin’s hand flinched away when you turned around, his hands inches away from your shoulder. Both of you looked like deers caught in headlights. He cleared his throat as he straightened up, a gentle smile forming on his lips. You couldn’t help but show one back, even if it was strained.

The two of you didn’t know each other very well, but you had shared conversations here and there about the poetry he wrote. He was the closest thing to a friend you had, when you really thought about it. Always polite, ever smiling, it was no wonder he had you charmed. And when he spoke? Even blooming flowers paled in comparison to the beauty of his soft voice. Carefully chosen words woven into intricate haiku’s, the sound heavenly when murmured quietly into the gentle breeze. Perhaps in another life, you would have used it as a lullaby, drifting off with pleasant dreams permeating your mind. Maybe the storm clouds would finally dissipate.

“You seem troubled… Is something the matter?” You blinked at that, your head cocking in slightly in confusion. Was he talking to you? He breathed out a quiet chuckle from your actions, before the hand that was once on your shoulder snaked around your wrist lithely. “Come with me.” You had no reason not to.

You dared not ask where the two of you were going, simply thankful to just be in the presence of the traveller beside you. Instead of the foreboding shadow that was now following silently behind the two of you, Kazuha’s touch felt like relief - like the sun after the storm, spreading its warmth and creating beautiful masterpieces of colour in the sky. He embodied the sun, but his hair was silvery, and you couldn’t decide if it reminded you of the luminous moon that was there for you on sleepless nights or the stars that lit the night up and guided you out of the shadows when you felt lost. Perhaps he was just all things bright.

He turned to you and smiled, letting go of your wrist. “Here we are.” He sighed softly, seating himself on the top of the grassy hill that he had led you to, waiting for you to sit down beside him. When you did, his arm wrapped itself around your shoulder and pulled you in close to him. “I want you to tell me what you see.” He stated simply, his finger pointing out to the horizon. You gazed, finding yourself sighing heavily. Was this a joke or something?

“I can’t see anything, it’s too cloudy.” You grumbled, your pout growing as you heard him laugh to himself quietly, amused by your frustration.

“Why don’t you try a different perspective, hm?” A single, bandaged finger curled under your chin and pushed your head up. And then you saw it. Your bottom lip quivered at the sight, the rain threatening to fall from your eyes. The storm was held back by the sun that was shining bright beside you. And above the two of you, after the ever long night, you finally saw the sun rise.

“Kazuha…”

“I found this mountain while I was travelling, while my heart was clouded with darkness. I, too, didn’t raise my head. But once I did…” He took a minute to sigh, resting his head on top of yours, tracing patterns along your shoulder with featherlight fingertips. “I saw this. The rain had finally stopped.” Tearing your eyes away from the view above you, you shifted your gaze to the man beside you. He seemed to outshine even the sun with that warm smile on his face. “The storm will pass, dove. That dark cloud hanging over the sun will fade. And just as the sun has the moon, you have me. Let me take over when the world turns dark.”

You drew in a shaky breath, raising your hands to wipe at your damp cheeks. “I don’t know what to say…” You admitted quietly, nuzzling your cheek against his shoulder. Another melodic chuckle.

“Don’t say anything. Just… Enjoy being here with me, as i do with you.” Neither of you talk about how he so lovingly pressed a kiss to the crown on of your head, or the hand that had slipped to your waist to hold you closer.

[babyboiboyega]

Enough (Shangqi x f!reader)

Shangqi x f!reader

Content: a little bit of angst, fluff at the end, Shangqi being such a damn sweetheart

Word Count: 1.3k

Babyboiboyega’s Marvel Masterlist

*********

Y/N’s movements were a little slower than usual as she dodged, kicked, and punched, and it was obvious, especially to her. It was obvious, and it frustrated her to no end as she continued to move around the mat. 

The slight throbbing in her temple she had woken up with had only gotten worse as the day went on, and it continued to do so the more she exerted herself. 

She tried to hide the pain behind a grimace, but under the guise of being focused, but she had a slight suspicion that he could see right through her. This only prompted her to intensify her actions, trying to come off as fine when in reality, the pressure in her head was close to debilitating. 

She knew that she should have stopped and told him what was wrong, but the stubborn, reckless side of her won out. And that was exactly what she was doing: being incredibly reckless. 

A grunt left her mouth as she was pushed back, her feet stumbling over each other.

“Y/N, what’s going on with you tonight? You’re a little slower than usual.”

Shangqi’s voice rang out, a teasing lilt to it as he gazed at her with his hands on his hips. His eyebrows were furrowed in genuine worry as she bent at the waist, bracing herself against her knees. 

With every breath she took came another painful throb in her temple, and even with her eyes squeezed shut, she could feel her head spinning. 

Hearing her labored breaths and noticing her silence, Shangqi walked closer, the small smile on his face dropping.

“Hey, what’s wrong? We can take a break. We should take a break.”

At his words, Y/N shook her head slowly before straightening. The wince that she tried to hide did not go unnoticed. 

“I’m fine. Let’s go again.”

Shangqi’s head tilted and his eyes narrowed slightly, this time with suspicion. 

“Y/N, there’s nothing wrong with taking a break. Maybe get a sip of water-”

“I’m fine, Shangqi, okay? I’m...I’m good.”

The conviction in her voice was enough for him to slowly nod his head before taking stance. His eyes watched her carefully as she did the same, and once he was satisfied that she was ready, he resumed their dance around each other.

He threw easily avoidable hits while still watching the way she reacted. Her eyebrows were pinched in concentration as she blocked his hits, her feet moving in the way he had taught her. 

For a brief moment, she felt pride and forgot about the pain that gripped her head. All of the sparring lessons were culminating into something she was proud of. 

But then Shangqi had to throw a punch while simultaneously going for her exposed bottom half. 

She had managed to block the hit, but she had been too oblivious of her open leg area.

Y/N felt herself falling and managed to right her foot enough to where her impact with the mat was more controlled. An almost embarrassing “oof” fell from her lips as she quite literally landed on her ass.  

It only took a few seconds for Shangqi to approach her, his hand held out to help her up. 

“We’re taking a break. I’ll go get your water.”

The finality of his words paired with her own frustration resulted in a pang of anger quickly running through her. 

She grabbed his hand and pulled herself up quickly, her mouth forming words of insistence that only dissipated as black spots crowded her vision. 

She rapidly blinked her eyes, but only seemed to make it worse. The pain in her head had decided to make itself known once again, and it came with a vengeance. 

This time, she couldn’t stop the small groan from escaping her mouth as her hand raised and gripped her head. 

The pain was unbearable now, akin to having one’s head slammed into a metal pole without the relief of eventually passing out. She could feel the throbbing at the base of her neck, and the pain had started to make her stomach churn. 

She should have listened to him. She should have stopped earlier.

Y/N hadn’t realized that she was swaying, leaning a little too far in one direction, until she felt soft, calloused hands land on her arms. 

“Y/N...Y/N, talk to me. What’s going on?”

As she spoke, Shangqi gently guided her down until she was safely kneeling on the floor, no longer swaying on her feet. He wasted no time in kneeling in front of her, his hands moving to cup her face.

“Come on, take deep breaths. Talk to me, sweetheart.”

Y/N spoke quietly and through clenched teeth, her hand continuing to put pressure against her temple.

“Migraine.”

The sigh that left Shangqi’s mouth was sympathetic as he rubbed her cheek. He leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss against her forehead before slowly rising and bringing her with him.

He had no trouble supporting her weight as he led her in the direction of his room, leaving the open space behind them.

In reality, it had only taken a minute or so to get to Shangqi’s room, but every step had felt like 10 to Y/N. She was acutely aware of Shangqi turning off every light as they walked, and if she weren’t so busy making sure her lunch stayed down, she would have expressed her love and gratitude for his actions. 

She simply let Shangqi guide her to wherever she needed to go, knowing and trusting without a doubt that he would take care of her. 

He only proceeded to prove her right as he wasted no time in walking her towards his bed and gently lowering her onto it. As soon as she was situated, he quietly walked around the bed and turned off every remaining light, the tv, and even closed the blinds.

In only a span of a few seconds, he had grabbed a glass of water and the medicine she had left at his place for a situation exactly like this. 

“Y/N, here’s your medicine. Come on, babe. I just need you to take this real quick.”

With an agonized groan and her eyes still tightly shut, Y/N slowly sat up. Her hands blindly reached out, prompting Shangqi to drop her pill into her hand followed by the glass of water. She took the medicine quickly and without hesitation, before holding it out once more. 

Shangqi’s hands shot out, one grabbing the glass while the other gently landed on her back, keeping her from laying back down.

A noise between a soft cry and a groan left Y/N’s mouth at being stopped, but the slight annoyance she had quickly dissipated as Shangqi gently crawled into bed in front of her. 

All while whispering apologies to her, he maneuvered their bodies to where they could lay down with Y/N completely covering his body with her own. 

There had been a question on the tip of her tongue as he had moved them, but it all made sense when his hands raised and started massaging her temples, gingerly but with enough pressure to ease the pain. 

She felt his lips touch her hair, and it made a lone tear slip from her tear line. The tears that formed as a result of pain only fell as a result of being cared and loved for.

But Shangqi had interpreted the new tear stain on his shirt as one of pain. He spoke softly with his lips pressed to her head. 

“I know. I know, I’m sorry I can’t do more.”

His words made her arms tighten where they were wound around his torso. As she spoke, more tears fell from her eyes.

“You do more than enough, Shangqi. You’re more than enough.”

********

I hope you all enjoyed this! Like I said, this is a comfort fic that I really wrote for myself, but decided to post it here! I do deal with chronic migraines, and with every migraine comes a great disdain for everyone in the immediate vicinity....but I just KNOW that Shangqi would do anything to help me feel better, so I wanted to write it!

This week has been reaaaalllyy tough so far between work, class, and personal issues, so that’s another reason why this is a comfort fic, it helped me escape life while I was writing. 

But once again, I hope you all enjoyed this! Please like, reblog, and/or leave a comment. Literally whenever someone leaves a comment, it makes my day!

OH! I’m also thinking about making a tag list! 👀👀

Stay safe, y’all!

[maudus1]

Fic Authors Self-Rec!

Rules: When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass it on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love!

Thanks for the tag @poeti-kat! 💙 Passing this on to @charlatron @sagegarnish @jacklyn-flynn @andordean @some27-url

Troubled Water

Rating: E

Fandom: Star Wars Prequels / The Clone Wars

Relationship: Anakin Skywalker/Obi-Wan Kenobi

About: Sort of a character/relationship study that takes place over several years. Started as a cracky 5+1 things idea and... exploded into something much more expansive. The original premise: "Five times Obi-Wan kept Anakin warm, and one time Anakin returned the favor." It's still following this format, for the most part, as it's given me an outline to adhere to and an end goal.

Comment: This is still a work in progress, but I think it's already my favorite. Star Wars was one of my childhood obsessions and I'm enjoying reliving that nostalgia as an adult. Character-driven stories featuring personal growth and development have always fascinated me, and I love doing deep POV dives, so I'm having a ton of fun with it. It's given me back the motivation I'd been sorely lacking this year, and the response has honestly blown me away.

Beg Pretty for Me

Rating: E

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

About: A smutty Dom/sub post-canon fix-it with lots of feelings. Dean saved Cas from the empty, they admitted their love for each other, and now everyone is one big happy family. Cue some raunchy "I'm on a mission and I miss you" phone sex!

Comment: I started this before the series finale both for personal reasons and for the fandom at large, because we can never have too many happy endings for these boys. It's what they deserved. And maybe I just wanted Cas to live and Dean to feel pretty and cherished and loved.

Fixing a Hole, Building a Bridge

Rating: M

Fandom: Dragon Age Origins

Relationship: Alistair/Morrigan

About: This is a short hurt/comfort piece wherein Alistair is injured and Morrigan takes care of him. And then repressed feelings spill out.

Comment: I originally wrote this for a Valentine's day prompt challenge, though it's been edited and added to since then because upon rereading I got inspired. Their banter is some of my favorite in the game and I love complex relationship dynamics, so this was a blast to write. Over time it's become one of my favs.

One September Morning

Rating: T

Fandom: Supernatural

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

About: Modern (No Monsters) AU where mechanic Dean falls in love with the new cashier working the counter at the gas station next to his auto shop. Alas, in true Dean fashion, it takes a full-on personal crisis for him to finally realize it.

Comment: This was my first exchange fic in the SPN fandom so I was nervous as fuck about it. But it ended up being a ton of fun. Super fluffy and sweet, despite some mild Dean-angst. And again, a happy ending, like they deserve. @dustyl turned it into a fantastic podfic too! Check it out here.💙💚

Private Sessions

Rating: E

Fandom: Dragon Age Inquisition

Relationship: Cullen Rutherford/f!Reader

About: Another Modern AU. You (the reader) have the hots for your new spin instructor. Guess what? The feeling is mutual! From sex to love and romance, with family fluff and mabari pups along the way, it's super adorable (and incredibly steamy).

Comment: What started as a reblog chain of my mutuals and I goofing off here on tumblr turned into a summer writing circle that got us through the first lockdown. Because of this project, I met some of the most awesome people. It brought us closer as friends and I will forever be grateful for that. And the responses we got to it were astounding and so heart-warming. Shout out to my beautiful co-authors and sister witches @charlatron @kemvee @jacklyn-flynn I love y'all! 😘