#Film Score Collab!

[daily-film-score]

𝔻𝕒𝕪 𝟝𝟚

[still-talkingalot]

why didn’t they do a spring breakers remix… i need it in my life. “cas, who might be on the spring breakers remix though?” you might say. “the best features on the album are extremely deliberate and specific to the song!!” why yes they are!! okay… hear me out. get skrillex in there

[ndl4l]

The fifth beta squad member.

This was requested but I accidentally deleted the ask! If this was your request, thank you so much for sending this, I had fun writing this and I hope you enjoy it! 🩷✨

Maybe you’ve joined after the first year, you’ve been friends with Chunks for a while and he thinks you’re funny and talented so he wants you to be a member.

Niko definitely arranges an interview for you.

Ask you weird questions like, have you ever been arrested? Are you allergic to anything?

Chunks yelling at him to behave

Aj and Kenny already love you, so they talk you up to Niko.

Kenny loves that you’re more shy and reserved like him, and makes Niko promise he won’t scare you away.

Aj’s argument being that you’re funny

So Niko is like “go on, tell us a joke then”

After officially becoming a member, Niko definitely gets a contract for you to sign, claiming everyone else did but they’re just fake terms he came up with

You confessed to being attracted to Sharky once, so he definitely puts something related to that, NO dating among members

You getting more brand deals than them, for beauty or skin care products

Aj definitely comments on all your posts cute supportive comments like get your bag girl or skin glowing

Niko comments mean things to be annoying. All that makeup and still ugly or face wash does nothing to you or couldn’t even pay me go buy these

When filming for the beta squad channel, they care more about your opinion and what you think so they make you come up with video ideas because yours get more views.

Sharky is always late so he gets you coffee or tea to not be mad at him

When filming collabs with famous people or not they for sure tease you for liking them and make silly comments throughout the whole video.

Trent definitely flirts with you and they never let it die. Like it’s been months after and they still bring it up, oh your boyfriend is playing today. Your boyfriend just scored. Can your boyfriend film with us again?

Filing something football related, like the extreme World Cup challenges they did and they bring him up a lot, you know who’s good at football? Y/n’s boyfriend.

You know who loves football? Y/n!

No I don’t!

I meant footballers

You’re filming a lie detector test video and Kenny asks if you think you’re better than them and you say no and it’s the truth so they get a little sad and hug you ‘cause they think they’re too mean to you and promise to treat you better

They don’t.

When filming challenge videos, you always win and Niko threatens to kick you out

Trivia questions and you outsmart them every single time and Chunks gets defensive because he doesn’t like not being the smartest one

You being taller than Aj and teasing him about it

Lots of bickering

They are not doing anything without you. Like Kenny gets ready for a date and he FaceTimes you to talk him up. You’re the only one Chunks invites at his family dinners. You’re the only one Sharky allows around his sisters

They are very protective of you. No one is good enough for you.

They have scared a guy you were seeing away before. And they’re like, you deserve better

Maybe when you were all living together you were the only one cooking so after moving out, they still come around for dinner. Uninvited

You always have a date for events. And you don’t even have to beg them to go. Kenny is the only one showing up every time, maybe Chunks.

You’re the first person Kenny hugs after winning his fight, and Niko gets jealous.

Streaming with Aj and playing video games a lot.

Maybe you cook for him ‘cause you don’t like him eating takeaways all the time

People referring to you as the mum of the group.

And you are. But they’re grateful to have you and you love them, so after getting more fame and more opportunities you never leave the group

Niko gives you a big speech and says you can leave at any point.

But you don’t, because you’re grateful to have them in your life and you know no matter what you do, it will never compare with being a part of their little group.

[thesobsister]

Marlene Dietrich, “The Boys in the Backroom”

Memorably performed in the film Destry Rides Again by La Dietrich, this tune is an interesting collab between German cabaret songwriter Frederick Hollander, né Friedrich Hollaender, best known for writing“Falling in Love Again” ("Ich bin von Kopf bis Fuß auf Liebe eingestellt") as part of his score for Dietrich’s Der Blaue Engel, and American vernacular songwriter Frank Loesser, who’d already penned such standards as “Heart and Soul” and “Two Sleepy People.”

[elviehun]

ATTENTION !!!! ATTENTION!!!! LOOKIE!!!

He's now officially on the hottest side of 25 and here to collect your hearts!!! Beware!!!

(You know the one, the sexy one in Fall Out Boy😎)

Happy Birthday to The Beautiful One, player of instruments galore, the owner of The Smile, sporter of the prettiest glasses, hats, sideburns and beards, the one who brought 'goodness gracious!' and 'holy smokes!' back, THE most amazing, talented, gorgeous (don't even get me started on the lips and the hips), kind and humble boy ever to burst into any music scene ever. I look at him now and can't believe how far he's come. Looking at everything he's done, every single perfect chord he's ever dreamed up, put down and played or crooned or belted out, whether it's film scores, FOB songs, solo work or his many amazing collabs, covers, random acapellas and producing work, I couldn't be more proud of this Chicago miracle kid. Also, his little chuckle is known to cure most illnesses even from afar. Just so you know.

Everyone stop what you're doing and clink em glasses for this precious creature.

As per usual, im celebrating with pouring over the prettiest pics of him, also listening to nothing but Soul Punk, Truant Wave and Folie all day. Cheers, Car Crash Hearts.

Patrick, I will love you until my very last breath. You're truly the last of the real ones. May your day be everything you've hoped it to be.

🎂🎂THE HAPPIEST 40th, BABY BOY!!!🎂🎂

(Also, from the bottom of my heart and in absolute seriousness: thanks Pete. So much.)

[schnuckiputz]

Modern!au steve has a secret tiktok account where he posts himself doing all the viral tiktok dances and some of his own choreographies.

It's not secret because he's ashamed, but the rest of the group are either not that into social media or deep deep deep in DnD side of tiktok. The only one who knows is, of course, Robin because she sometimes helps him with the filming side.

And he's good - his parents made him take classical dance classes when he was younger and it shows. He has a pretty massive following and has had some collabs with other dance accounts. And he is happy with keeping everything as is.

Until famous metal band Corroded Coffin puts out a new music video with a dance number that goes viral in a massive way (like something from wednesday). It's not Steve's usual music, but he knows the kids listen to CC, so he's at least heard of them. And the dance is so different that Steve is instantly intrigued and decides to have some fun with it.

So, he puts on a sweet pastel-y outfit, dances his heart out, uploads the video and then sits back with some popcorn and watches metalheads world wide lose their hairy little heads about it.

But...here's something he didn't expect:

A) the kids might not be on dancetok, but they sure as shit are on CCtok so they, too, get a front row seat to the waves Steve's video makes. He will not know peace until he has put out a video with every single one of the shitheads.

B) He scores himself a hot famous boyfriend. Because lead guitarist and singer for CC, Eddie Munson, loves Tiktok and does actually a lot of the band's content himself. So, when everyone keeps tagging them in some preppy dudes tiktok video, he's prepared to be mostly amused, maybe a little bit offended on behalf of the metal gods of old. But the joke's on him, because dancing_steve turns out to be pretty, talented and a little bitch - three things that, in combination, are Eddie's kryptonite. Eddie wants. And what Eddie wants, Eddie gets.

[deus-ex-mona]

rating as many hw anime projects as i could find bc i have no life

spoilers? spoilers~~~

the nacchan movie

it was o k. it had a pretty standard and rather unremarkable storyline tbh. but that nacchan confession montage was pretty funny. though i wish we could’ve seen more of mochiaka. easy 6/10.

the shower/bath montage was very much unnecessary though.

the hina movie

as a standalone movie by itself, 4/10. confusing characters (arisa), messy and rushed plot (the middle school flashback sequence was way too long for a 1h movie), and the main couple of the movie (koyuhina) barely interacted. heck, hina spent the majority of the movie running away from yukki. rip tbh :(

as part of the series as a whole, 2/10.

reading the heart no shuchou novel should be a pre-requisite to watching the movie, as it explains why arisa was so darned weird during her interactions with yukki. and speaking of arisa, they got their portrayal of karen completely wrong (rip). granted, otome domoyo. came out after the movie, but still—

though, while we’re on the topic of ✨continuity✨, the fact that there were lxl promos in the burger joint despite lxl having not even debuted yet at that point in the timeline is just. very questionable in hindsight.

also!!! koyuhina interactions where??? gardening club trio w h e r e ??? for a movie with koyuhina focus, this movie was remarkably not about koyuhina.

seriously, just read the ima suki ni naru. prologue manga instead. it’s p much the same story, but it flows much better (like, the setoguchi siblings’ terekakushi shishunki scene takes place at the end of the manga post-rejection instead of how it has occurred right smack in the middle of the movie with no explanation). and there’s no continuity-breaking burger joint scene either s o there—

the midosena short

it was kinda cute, but it also isn’t anything you haven’t already seen in the midosena mvs. 7/10.

the harucouple anime

it’s remarkable how unremarkable it was. the best part of the anime was tokyo winter session tbh, and that was the ending theme.

miou’s character kinda sucked in the anime ngl, with her blaming herself for chiaki’s death, distancing herself from haruki, only to slap him for wanting to give up on his dream following his existential crisis that had resulted from said distancing.

also, needs more mochiaka.

anime-haruki deserves better. 3/10.

the lxl mvm

fruity, while both remaining (kinda) canon-compliant and establishing aizo as the male protagonist of gen 3. plus, sena was really cute in the romeo mv scenes, so she gets points of her own too.

bond girl yujiro (as seen in the pic above) was pretty funny though ngl. 8/10.

the lxl movie

fruity, but canon-breaking, as it completely disregards both the romeo mvm and the romeo novel. plus, the timeline clearly wouldn’t have worked out??? i mean c’mon. you’re telling me that these two complete nobodies managed to get popular enough to fill a live arena over the span of less than half a year just from a pocky collab? if you told me it took them over a year to get that far, sure, but.. they haven’t even filmed their romeo mv yet in the movie… so?? i???? lol???

also, this only further confirmed aizo as the protag (rip yujiro; boy wanted to stand onstage to be seen for himself and his talents, only to be completely outshadowed by his own partner who dances like a 🪳). the anime had dai moments though, so that alone brings the total score up to 6/10. thanks dai. ily <3

the [redacted] anime

i think i’ve made my stance on the [redacted] anime very clear in my way too many posts. in comparison to the other anime projects though? 1/10.

at least the other anime projects kept their characters (or, at least, most of their characters *cough* harucouple anime miou *cough*) relatively close to their original counterparts, instead of completely butchering each and every single one of them. like, seriously, no one was spared. not the main leads (hiyori and lxl), not the side characters (gen 2), and even tamura, uchida, and ft4 were nerfed smh.

[taehyungfirst]

I think we'll start to see some of the members break into other solo activities. I'm here for Actor Jin. I think we're going to see Namjoon work in other mediums, sooner rather than later given his mystery project promo (and his repeated mentions of art and other mediums). I could see him creating and curating. Yoongi? I think he's going to be focused on producing the group efforts. But, pipe dream, I'd love to see him take on scoring a film. His lyrics and rapping skills get deserved attention but the backing of his songs is so interesting and I've love to see more of it in a different form.

I'd love to see Hobi lean more into fashion -- a fashion partnership/collab -- he could be the guest editor of a shoot/project/mag or do a small run of something. I don't know about the others. Tae has already been involved in so many other projects. I definitely think he'll act in some way-- the amount of offers he must have after the IU music video! But Tae keeps us guessing. Variety shows, live performances, acting in music videos, coffee ambassador, muse for all the magazines. I know he's got something up his sleeve we don't expect.

I think we may see more collabs for JK. There is no way that every major recording artist isn't fighting through his proverbial inbox. I could see him doing collabs in conjunction with group work to keep his toe in the solo side (and on the charts) but not take the time/attention of a full album. I hope Tae might do this as well in his own way. I think he was so smart with his first album -- no collabs, live performances, not written by him (so people can't speculate). He's a critically and commercially acclaimed artist in his own right. I'd love to see him partner with other artists -- especially ones that aren't as mainstream.

And I think they'll do some big spon con together -- of what I don't know -- but something to globally highlight the reunion.

I could also see SK wanting them to do more prominent cultural ambassador-y stuff post-ms. I think of that video that Namjoon had to do for his graduation ceremony. It will be interesting to see how the navigate that and what they feel that they have to do in those capacities.

Ok, that's enough of a random ramble of thoughts...

Hi!

I love the idea of Namjoon curating a museum! I think it would suit him very well, and I hope his next project (which I assume it’s music) it’s gonna be something like Indigo again, I really liked the album. Yes for actor Jin and uhmmm I think Yoongi is gonna be an even bigger producer, if Pdogg isn’t in Hybe he will produce the group songs and I can see him having more projects piled up for other artists, I think he likes being a producer a lot.

I hope Hobi does some mentoring in a show again, he’s a great teacher and the industry’s best dancer so he should get a gig like that. Regarding Jungkook, do you think this America trial will keep going? Like do you think his solo career will keep being centered there?

I think Taehyung will drop a second ep somewhere in the future, and that he will drop Travel with me too idk why but I’m convinced that song is gonna see the light of the day (I’m just convincing myself 🕯️), also yeah more acting gigs, something international at some point.

[milfjagger]

21 and 22!

21. a film with a great needle drop/soundtrack/score ok i have to answer these separately. best needle drop: the commitments (1991) because mustang sally changed the timeline. best soundtrack: jesus christ superstar (1973) because i think about it 24 hours a day. and best score: obviously it’s lord of the rings but in terms of an actual recommendation that you might not have seen i really like all of howard shore’s collabs with david cronenberg and especially crimes of the future (2022), which is a film that lowkey rewired my brain

22. a film that is a novel/play adaptation cheating again but both nightmare alley (1947) and nightmare alley (2021). del toro’s is a lot bloodier and sexier because wasn’t made under the hayes code and some might argue that the 1947 film has a forced “happy” (aka marginally less bleak) ending because of the code but tyrone power is still fantastic. and i never really cared for bradley cooper until i saw the 2021 film but i want him literally so bad in that role specifically

[spectrumtacular]

Top 5 noir movies? Top 5 westerns?

Already got asked about noir movies here! As for westerns, it was very difficult for me to narrow it down to a top 5 so I'm also gonna link a longer list of my favourites here.

But anyway. Top 5.

In this world, there are two kinds of people, my friend: those who's favourite western is The Good the Bad and the Ugly, and those who haven't seen it yet. Greatest score ever written, masterful use of long shots and close ups, Clint Eastwood and Lee Van Cleef at their very coolest, all in gorgeous widescreen... One of my top five movies, period.

No Name on the Bullet. As I mentioned in the noir ask, I 🧡 movies that are cheap and pulpy and kind of bad lol. Jokes aside though this one's got a very tight script with a lot to say on mob mentality/paranoia and individual corruption, a building tension that grabs you by throat and squeezes, all carried along by Audie Murphy and his cold cold eyes... There's something very special about a well-made b-movie I must say.

Winchester '73. Ranown cycle this, Wayne-Ford movies that, well if you ask me the Mann-Stewart movies are the best western actor/director collabs out there, and this one's the finest among them. Okay actually The Naked Spur is the better film, but this one's got my guy Dan Duryea in his absolute best role, so you know I'll take it over the others any day of the week.

Blazing Saddles. I do love a good parody, and Mel Brooks is the undisputed king thereof. This one's laugh out loud funny, the type of movie that has me going "oh man that's my favourite bit" every three seconds. Except the bean scene, that one's a dud, but the mere presence of Madeline Kahn makes up for it ten times over.

Longtime followers will know of my inexplicable soft spot for godawful singing cowboy movies + my other inexplicable soft spot for godawful mountie movies, so naturally I've got a soft spot the size of Saskatchewan for the Renfrew of the Royal Mounted serial. Like idk what to tell you, they're mounted men....... though odds may be one to ten....... they'll follow the trail........ they never will fail to capture......... dangerous foes, for everyone knows they say........ they'll get their man, despite any plan you'll have to pay......... Yes I know the theme song by heart don't judge me.

Ask me my top 5/top 10 anything!

[aturnoftheearth]

Wait! There's a new Lord Huron song coming in 2 weeks?!?!!! I seem to have missed this announcement. When/where was it? I can't find it!

YEAH! they announced their collab here :) basically, ben schneider scored the whole film and there’s also an additional original song (you can here both in the trailer) and we’re assuming right now that it’ll be released when the movie comes out which is may 12th :D

[thejacksmit]

First Take: Despicable Me 4 - sometimes minions can't save a film from daddy issues

SYNOPSIS: Gru, Lucy, Margo, Edith, and Agnes welcome a new member to the family, Gru Jr., who is intent on tormenting his dad. Gru faces a new nemesis in Maxime Le Mal and his girlfriend Valentina, and the family is forced to go on the run.

Illumination have had a cracker of a summer - big box office returns with this film, and on account of their animation studio being based there, the Minions featuring during the opening ceremony of this year's Olympics in Paris. But Despicable Me 4 is a release which proves that overusing a franchise, even if it hasn't had a main line entry since 2017, can be a bad idea.

Returning to direct this one is Chris Renaud - a man who went over to fellow Illumination IP The Secret Life of Pets for a few years - and while it comes in at 1 hour 34 minutes, it is a bit on and off at times, feeling like it has no idea what kind of film it wants to be, mostly due to its script from Mike White and Ken Daurio. This is the same Mike White who co-wrote The Emoji Movie. Just let that sink in folks. It is cliched, predictable, and even with the Minions providing much needed comic relief, it is, quite simply, a mess. It genuinely feels like they had one idea, abandoned it mid-production and decided to run with another plot entirely - one with some BLATANT shots at more successful, rival films (super serum is all I shall say). Saying that, the team at Illumination Paris have done, as ever, a fine job animating this, and the now traditional Heitor Pereira/Pharrell Williams collab for the score just about does the trick.

The voice cast do an alright job, obviously the regulars of Steve Carell, Kristen Wiig, Miranda Cosgrove and Steve Coogan carry this one (with Pierre Coffin voicing the Minions as usual), Will Ferrell uses one of the most bonkers French accents I've heard for a long time, Sofia Vergara gets a big billing on the PR but barely any lines, with the cast being rounded out by Joey King, Stephen Colbert and Chloe Fineman. To put it simply, there is too much going on in this film, which is a good thing for its main audience (family/children) but this is a true case of sequel bait - Illumination know this is gonna do well at the box office, and having seen some much better made, solo animated shorts fairly recently as part of LYIFF coverage, I'm now of the belief that Despicable Me as a franchise has run its course.

THE VERDICT

Unlike earlier films, Despicable Me 4 is mostly forgettable. Considering Illumination's work over the last few years it properly feels like they prioritised Migration, and especially last year's Mario movie (likely at Nintendo's request) and just worked on Despicable Me when they could. Somehow it's been a box office success, but the time has come to let this franchise have a good amount of time away. They need to rest.

RATING: 2.5/5

[thewestern]

Chapter 29

The moment the Mick stood up from the desk where Billy had written his last words, he heard a faint sound. 

Wait, do you hear that? 

What. 

I don’t know. I hear a sound, but it’s faint. 

The Mick was showing off his good ear. It was true he heard a sound. albeit barely perceptible. More precisely it was a sustained double low C note. A dog whistle of sorts for film bros. Soon it gave way to a much bigger sound. This they all heard. 

Duh. Duhh. Duhhhh. Duh-duh! 

I heard that. 

They all knew it too, but only the Mick from where. 

Oh, damn. 2001. Very tight. 

He was referring of course to 2001: A Space Odyssey, the nineteen sixty-eight Stanley Kubrick masterwork. The Mick, however, was using a short-hand for Phish’s cover of the nineteenth-century tone poem that Kubrick uses to open the film, and to great effect. Although, for a fact, their rendition more closely hues to a seventies discotheque remix, that was likewise featured in a landmark film of the twentieth century, Being There, by Hal Ashby.

The song’s familiar crescendo synched perfectly with the yurt lights going off, all at once, enveloping them in darkness. 

Hey, turn on the lights! I’m not fucking kidding. 

For as tough as she was, and she was, Grace was deathly afraid of the dark, as well as, apparently, death. 

Then a second song queued. Likewise an instrumental, albeit one with which they were not familiar. Like the previous piece, it was brass-forward and accented with symbols, but that is where the similarities ended. Whereas the beginning song had marked a triumphant dawning of a bright future, here came an acid rain cloud, rinsing away the scum on the city streets, leaving them slick to reflect the neon signs of sex shoppes and the peep shows. And yet, sinister though it certainly is, the melody alludes to a post-modern, muzak mundanity. As if it were elevator music, playing along on your freefall descent to Hell. 

This is the main theme to Taxi Driver, Scorcece’s masterwork, wherein Marty largely eschews his propensity for setting his movies to popular music, rather to do the honor of collabing with the great film composer Bernard Herrmann, whose IMDB page is slaps only. His first feature — his fucking debut — was a little movie called Citizen Kane. Ever heard of it? Thereafter scoring what many consider to be the greatest film of all time, on his first fucking try, every director in town wanted a piece of him. But Hermann only wanted to work with one — Hitchcock. You see Psycho? That lady getting murked in the shower. The repeated stabbings set to shrieking violins. That was your boy. Hitchcock didn’t even want music for that scene. But Bernard insisted. Good call. 

Bernie was Marty’s first and only choice. Initially, he turned him down. Why would I want to do a movie about a taxi driver, he told him, hilariously. However, after being appealed to by Brian de Palma of all people — Hollywood! — to please reconsider and at least read Paul Schrader’s now iconic screenplay, he was all in. He completed the score in two days, left the studio, had dinner, went back to his hotel and died in his sleep. It was Christmas Eve. 

And that was what was playing in the yurt that day. Perhaps this mystery DJ was a cinephile, because something of a DIY short film was now being projected onto the yurts canvas roof. It was a mosaic of aural ephemera. Things like: 

A sped-up time-lapse of a flower blooming and wilting. Elvis shaking his hips on the Ed Sullivan Show. Another time-lapse, this time of traffic at night on a bend in the freeway. A rocket taking off. A woman in a fifties-era kitchen taking a casserole out of the oven. The Zapruder film. A massive industrial canning line. A mushroom cloud. Richard Nixon giving the double deuces. A hot air balloon taking off. Bill Clinton playing saxophone on the Arsenio Hall show. Lightning striking. A column of North Korean soldiers goose-stepping. Doves scattering. Nightly news footage of Rodney King getting beat on. A wave crashing. Osama Bin Laden talking in a cave. George W. Bush hitting a golf ball. A one shot of a horse running, as if in place. 

Etcetera. 

Then after a couple of minutes of that the music changed again. At last, this track had lyrics, recited in vocal staccato over an illegally-sampled piano riff by a seventies French new wave jazz composer, punctuated by a women’s scream. 

When I was just a little baby boy my momma used to

Tell me these crazy things

Dude, this playlist sucks.

Like Garcia, Grace hated rap. 

Oh, I like this song. 

Kitty, on the other hand, loved it.  

Yet another thing she and Billy had in common. Although, he was never an Eminem fan, per se. This on account of ICP had beef with him, dating back to Shady’s days as an aspiring emcee in Detroit, from where Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope also hailed. Things escalated to the extent of Em including a skit on his masterwork sophomore album depicting the duo performing oral sex on Ken Kaniff, a recurring character in the Marshall Mathers Extended Universe. One who exists exclusively as a device for engaging in homosexual acts with Eminem’s rap rivals, thus implying that they are, in fact, gay.   

The track playing currently in the yurt, Kill You, was cited specifically by Lynn Cheney, she the wife of Dick, in a Senate committee hearing on violence in youth popular culture. The Second Lady invoked the killings at Columbine High School, calling on Seagrams, the spirits conglomerate that also distributes music, including titles by Eminem and shock rocker Marylin Manson, who was reputedly a favourite of the Columbine shooters, to take responsibility for the irreparable harm their product inflicts upon young minds. I fully understand your duty to shareholders, she said, but can that duty be defined in purely economic terms? Aren't many of your shareholders women, who are demeaned by some of the music you distribute? Aren't many of them parents, who shudder at the debased and violent culture that Seagram is helping create?  

The visual narrative changed along with the soundtrack. Now it was grainy home video, shot on a handheld camcorder in all likelihood. Or at least, the colors were undersaturated in just such a way. It was footage of a young Hildy, cradling a baby, presumably Billy. A lesser woman would’ve been embarrassed to be caught like this in memorex amber, what in all her awkward nineties-ness. Not Hildy. She had Princess Diana’s style with Jennifer Aniston’s hair. And how she doted over this tiny angel. Pinching his cheeks, bopping his nose, blowing a raspberry on his cute little tummy. All the while laughing like a banshee. Sure she was showing off, but in a sweet, subtle way. Probably for the cameraman, presumably Billy’s proud papa.

She used to tell me my daddy was an evil man

She used to tell me he hated me

The film of Hildy and her baby was then interspersed with her other — much more successful — baby, Dr. Lupustein. First from his breakthrough commercial, breaking his Hippocratic oath by eating the woodland creatures who sought his care. But also clips from his whirlwind New York City publicity tour. Presiding as an honorary judge at the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest. Throwing out the first pitch at Yankee Stadium. 

Back to Hildy now. This time she’s decidedly less flirty with the man behind the camera. You can tell she doesn’t want to be filmed right now by the way she holds her hand to the lens and mouths, please, I really don’t want to be filmed right now. Billy, before angelic, is now crying. There’s no sound but you can see how loud he is wailing. 

Back to Lupustein, now joining the Late Show with David Letterman to list the Top 10 Signs You May Need A New Doctor.

Number Ten: The waiting room has a hostess. 

Number Nine:  The intake form asks for your height, weight and which part of your body you think would taste the best. 

Number Eight: Some of the other patients seem to be marinating. 

Number Seven: The nurse reads your body temperature off as medium rare. 

Number Six: Instead of an examination table, you’re sitting on a cutting board. 

Number Five: Is it just me or is it hot in here? 

Number Four: The doctor orders some additional testing and a side salad.  

Number Three: His white coat says Kiss the Cook. 

Number Two: According to the diploma on his wall, your doctor went to medical school at Johns Hopkins & Wales. Number One: He tells you to drop your pants but, hey, he’s not even wearing any.

Hildy has had it now. Distractedly cradling in one arm Billy, still crying, and in t’other a glass of red wine with quite a generous pour. Not even bothering to acknowledge the camera in her face. Why is he even filming anyway? Perhaps for evidence in the inevitable custody dispute. 

Dr. Lupenstein on Total Request Live with Carson Daly and Christina Aguilera, who’s making bedroom eyes at him. 

But then I got a little bit older

And I realized she was the crazy one

The camera is sitting low now, possibly on a coffee table. There’s no one in the room except for Billy, who’s on the floor playing with a Tiffany rattle and a Phillips head screwdriver. At least he’s not crying anymore. Hildy, however, is. She enters from stage left, backing up toward the door, shouting at someone just out of frame. Whoever this poor bastard is, she’s reading him the riot act. Just really letting him have it. 

 Dr. Lupustein on the Today Show, making beer-butt chicken with Matt Lauer and Al Roker. Katie Couric is off-camera, asking the producer for his pager number.

A man enters the picture. His profile is obscured by the buffalo head, which he carries over his shoulder. In his left hand is a likeness of Dr. Lupustein in neon effigy. The man walks past Hildy. He turns to tell her this is the last time. 

Who’s that? Grace asked.

I don’t know, replied Zeke. Ben Affleck? 

I fucking knew it! 

The Mick couldn’t resist.

The man, of course, was Hank. 

Kitty had also known. By now wasn’t it kind of obvious? Although, whereas Mick had just assumed — albeit with some basis — that if something was going wrong, Hank was somehow to blame, Kitty had known since the moment she had laid eyes on Billy in Baby. They didn’t look at all alike — even Hildy’s genes were dominant — except that they were of a similar countenance. Which is to say they had an air of mischief about them. Call it what you like — a twinkle in their fucking eye. But Kitty recognized the quality for its absence in Mick. He used to possess it in droves, but the bastards had driven it out of him.  

But there was nothing I could do or say to try to change it

'Cause that's just the way she was

When Hank left, the screen went blue. Likewise the music stopped. In its place clapped thunder and rang a church bell. A wolf howled. 

Suddenly the smoke started billowing again. The Mick could see it was coming from under a computer desk. It was obviously a fog machine, but the fog was marijuana scented. Looking back up, he saw awe struck on Kitty’s face. Following her gaze around he found the body of Billy, now convulsing, in the throws of seizure. As if it he had been possessed. It shook and shook, slackening the hangman’s rope like an out-of-control garden hose. However, the limbs remained stiff, indicating the onset of rigor mortis. 

What the fuck, dude! 

Grace said it best. 

Without warning, the canvas walls of the yurt fell around them. Like they were being revealed in a magic show. The roof remained in place, but at once, Billy stopped shaking. Now his body twisted, like a disco ball. On either side of them were two riders on a dirt bike and an ATV, but smaller. Both their faces were obscured by those cool helmets with the face guards and goggles with sick-ass, fire-mirrored lenses. They even had jerseys and body armor that matched Wolffenbeir-branded mounts. 

They commenced circling the yurt, menacingly. The one on the bike popped a couple of wheelies. The Newfy four for their part weren’t necessarily scared. More disturbed. Or maybe just bummed out. Still they stayed put. If only for the fear of being errantly run over by one of these lunatics. 

Perhaps picking up on that they weren’t getting much of a rise out of their audience, the junior biker gang stopped their engines. The one on the two-wheeler took off his helmet. Bet you five bucks it was Billy. 

Hey, where’s my mom?

She bailed. 

Grace again. She was emerging as the unofficial spokesperson for the group.

Already? For real? 

Yup. 

Well, how long was she here? 

Probably like, what, five minutes? Long enough to give a weird speech. 

Yeah, she do be doing that shit. Well did she at least seem sad? 

Yeah, sure. Maybe more disappointed. 

Word. Huh.  

That’s some pretty sick shit, faking your suicide for your mother. 

Right though? Thanks, yo. 

Wasn’t a compliment. So who you got hanging up there anyway?

Oh, that’s my just uncle’s sex doll. It vibrates. My homie Yayo-L here helped me string her up.

They turned to look at the one on the ATV, who had removed his helmet and was waving at them in sheepish acknowledgment. 

Ay Yay, help me get her down right quick. Shit’s Japanese. Mad expensive. Ernie will flip his shit if we break her. 

So what then, is Hank your dad? 

Who’s ass is Hank?

Confusingly, Billy said Hank in a voice that approximated a black person’s crude impression of a white person. 

The guy in the video? 

Oh him? I guess so. Hildy never told me his name. She been saying for the longest I was a test tube baby. But I seen these movies. I was looking through Ernie’s old-school porno collection one time and that tape was mixed in there with them. So I wanted to show Hildy to be like, I know I got a dad. That’s why I wrote that rhyme and produced that fire music video. Props to Yayo for doing all the editing and directing. He storyboards the sexual harassment training videos for Wolffenbeir, so you already know he’s got mad skills. All that montage shit? Bombs and all different animals. Psht. Stop playing. Spike Lee, holler atchya boy. 

So this was all just a put on. First you faked your own kidnapping. And when that didn’t work you faked your own death.  

I really don’t know, yo. But I do been wanting to fake my death for the longest. It’s such a power move. On some Tupac, Elvis-ass shit.

What’s your next move then, Machavelli? 

Ah. Was curiosity getting the best of the Mick after all? 

I. Don’t. Know. How many times I got to tell y’all. What’s up with all these wack questions anyway? Isn’t that the whole point of making everybody think you’re dead? It puts the ball in their court.

Billy exaggeratedly pointed his index finger to his temple, as if to indicate that he was thinking on some other level, which indeed he was, albeit not a higher one by any means. 

He’s freestyling, as Yayo-L explained. You just got to let him go. 

Do I?

Yeah, you kind of do. 

Yayo-L said that in the least smart-ass, and most matter-of-fact manner possible. As if to say, it really do be like that. Because in his experience, it do. 

Sorry, who are you?

Hey, nice to meet you. I’m Raj.  

All his homies call him Yayo-L. 

Billy calls me that. You can just call me Raj. 

By now Raj and Billy had gotten the Japanese sex doll down from the gallows. They removed Bertha and the bespoke tracksuit to reveal an eerily lifeless-like form. She was arranged like a period-accurate, Wild West prostitute, with her auburn hair done in a messy bun and red dirt smeared in with her caked-on makeup. Billy was putting back on her frilly dress, distressed just so, back on over her long john britches.  

Shit’s crazy, right. He’s got a bunch of them but this one’s his bottom bitch, he says. Don’t fuck Prudence, Billy, he always be telling me, all serious. Any of the others, but not her. Psht. You already know I tapped that ass. Haha, nah, I’m just playing.

Did you know your mom tried to buy our brewery today? 

Nah … For real though?

Yes. 

Whoa — wait — she did? For how much? 

Billy and the Mick were both taken aback by Kitty’s news. 

I don’t know I didn’t look. 

Look at what?

She did the thing where you write the offer on a piece of paper and slide it across the table. I Just put it in my pocket. 

Damn … that’s kind of tight. Props to Hildy on that one. I know we got our differences but sometimes she does some baller ass shit. 

Hey, Kitty, what the hell? Why didn’t you tell me? 

I don’t know. I was going to. I was worried you’d accept. 

Well, obviously. 

Mike, don’t say that. 

What do you mean? This is it! This is our exit! 

What do you mean, exit? Do you even know?

Kitty, you know what I mean. 

No, I guess I don’t. I don’t want to exit. I want to stay. I’m happy here. 

Zeke and Grace, who had never once seen Kitty and Mick argue like this, looked on in mild astonishment. Of course, like any lovers they had their occasional quarrels, but they weren’t the type to air it out in mixed company.

Kitty, just show me the offer. Come on, please. 

She removed it from her back pocket and held it out to him, still folded. 

Aye let me see real quick first. Maybe I can match that shit. 

Billy jumped between them and intercepted the hand-off. The Mick rolled his eyes as Billy looked down at the number. Then he looked back at Mick, then Kitty. Then back down. Then he stuck the piece of paper in his mouth and began to chew, vigorously. 

Oh you gotta be kidding me.  

Deals off, bitch, Billy mumbled back to the Mick with a mouth full of paper. 

Whatever, it’s not like that’s a contract. We can just ask your mom. K, did she leave you a card or something to call her back? 

Wait, wait. Hold up, wait. 

Billy coughed as he choked down the last bits of cardstock, which actually had been Hildy’s business card, hat she’d written the offer on the back of. 

Aight, aight, aight. Let’s negotiate this shit. Just please don’t call my mom. 

No. We’re not negotiating. 

Well, hold on, let’s hear him out. 

Goddamnit, Kitty! What the hell’s gotten into you? Why do you want to keep pulling on this yarn? 

I don’t know Mick! Maybe because I’m fucking pregnant.

Mick took a moment to let this marinade. 

By that, did you mean, you May Be pregnant? Or, maybe I’m acting irrationally because I am, in fact, Pregnant? 

Good one. I Am Pregnant. Presently. 

Are You Sure? 

Yes. 

Well … I think that’s great. 

Don’t get too excited. But, really? 

Of course. We’ve talked about this. That we always wanted to have one-to-two kids someday. We’ll figure out how to afford it.  

Oh, god. Don’t say it like that! And I know we talked about wanting one-to-two kids, one day down the line, but I thought maybe this was too soon to start? Or just not the right time. You’ve been so depressed lately. Since Hank left. Before, even. Like the life we had wasn’t enough. You even said it felt like the walls were closing in a bit. And we were already tight on space. Where are we gonna fit the nursery. 

Ideally, for Mick and Kitty’s sake, this scene would have taken place in private. They were both, after all, intensely private people. However, some conversations are so overdue there’s no telling when, where or whom in front of they’re going to, erupt. It just so happened this particular one sparked up in the middle of a Wednesday on an out-of-work dude ranch with an audience of four not including the Japanese sex doll.

As for those bystanders, whose culpability varied, we’ve all been a party to that occasional awkward moment, and there are a range of available coping mechanisms. You can certainly lean in. Zeke, for his part, was rapt, hanging on their every word. Grace, for whose hunger took precedence, found a reprieve in the form of some beef jerky she forgot she had in her fanny pack. Yayo-L, or Raj as he’s now known, politely carried on with breaking down the staged suicide, coiling the rope and pushing aside the gallows, paying no undue attention to this intimate tête-à-tête. Billy, meanwhile, was filming it on his camera phone, not so subtly whispering, World Star. 

The Mick didn’t have a good answer for Kitty. He had been a real stick in the ass lately. And a lousy partner as a result. There’s no denying it. But that didn’t explain Kitty dragging out this bull shit with Billy. 

 Okay, you’re right. I’ve been a real bummer lately. I have felt stuck, and maybe even a little trapped. But that’s not you. It’s not us. It’s the brewery. Fuck it, the entire industry. It’s a hobby, honey. Hank had a hobby, and somehow we all got sucked in. It killed Russ. It would’ve killed Hank, had he not got himself killed on account of some other hobby. And here we are, stuck holding the bag. 

Don’t say that. About Hank. 

Oh, give it up, Kit. He’s gone! He’s been gone. All the way gone.

I know that, Mick! But you don’t have to celebrate it! Fuck! 

There goes Kitty swearing again. 

You talk about him like he’s this deadbeat dad. Sorry, Billy. 

All good. 

But he’s not! Not to us! He gave us all this! 

[Gestures around the yurt.]

Maybe those things were a little fucked up. But this is our life. Wouldn’t it be easier to try and like it than throw it away for something, we don’t even know what it is?  

But we do know, Kitty! We do know! Because by some stroke of dumb luck, between Jaime and Billy’s mom, we’ve got people banging down our door to buy us out! 

Buy us out to where! It’s a check, Mick. A few months on the mortgage, maybe! Then what? And don’t you fucking dare say grad school. 

Fuck, I don’t know. Hey G, weren’t you saying your uncle was a fireman? 

A fireman? What are you eight? We’re almost thirty years old, Mike. 

Yeah, he’s just a volunteer anyway. County don’t pay for shit is what I hear. 

You hear that? Grace says county don’t pay for shit. So stop playing daydreaming, David Michael. You’re a brewer. And you can self-deprecate about it all you want, but you make great beer. Maybe that’s a silly thing, but we don’t choose what we’re good at. Beside, you know I would’ve never married a lawyer. And even if it’s not art like Jaime says or big business like Billy here seems to think, who gives a shit? It’s fucking something! 

Every once in a while, maybe only three or four in the six or seven years they’d been together, Kitty said something that would cut Mick right to his core. But she went in steady and sterile, like open heart surgery. So that nothing got knicked on the way in or infected with bitterness. Still, it knocked the wind clear out of him. 

Mick? 

Hold on I’m collecting myself.  

Raj had sparked a J. Grace joined him. 

Okay, fine. I’m a brewer. Then you’re a public school teacher. Admit it, K, you’ve been hurting too recently. That SciTech place is a fucking scam and you know it. And I know it, and Billy’s mom knows it. Everybody knows it except the kids and their poor fucking parents. So I show up to the Newfy in rubber boots every morning for the next thirty years, but you’ve got to go back to West. 

Then the Mick remembered the kid. 

Although, on second thought, let’s stay on that new school healthcare until the baby’s born. And then maybe we call it at one. 

Kitty smiles. Mick sighs in deep relief. And they embrace. Grace coughs. 

Billy, displaying his innate talent for ruining any moment no matter how tender, butted in here.

Hug all you want. This shit ain’t over.  

What do you mean, we? So we’re not for sale. Tell your mom to find some other sucker. 

Psht. You’re the sucker if you think Hildy’s just gonna take No Thank You for an answer. Haven’t you seen Godfather One? She’s Donna Corleone. Make you an offer you can’t pass on. I don’t know why she wants your dusty ass brewery, but she does. And if she wants something, she gets that shit? Ya feel me? 

Sure, Billy. I feel you. But we’re a private company. We don’t have to answer to a board or shareholders. So even your mom and Big Bad Wolffenbeir can’t blow our little house down.

Hey, Billy. Did you see this all-company email that just came through? 

At Raj’s prompting, Billy drew his device. 

Nah, I didn’t get it. 

Zeke also instinctively checked his email. Maybe it is contagious. He also didn’t receive the email in question, although there was a new correspondence awaiting him from Mayor Mockingbird, subject line: Ezekiel, I miss you 

Here, come look. I can’t believe this. It says We’re the ones being acquired, by GloBev. 

Fuck outta here. What’s a GloBev? 

Chinese conglomerate. Duh. 

Here Mick, Kitty and Zeke all looked at Grace, as if to say, how the fuck you know that? 

What? So I do a little day trading. There stock’s en fuego. 

Yep, she’s right. Says so right here. The Beijing-based multinational is set to acquire Wolffenbeir, Inc. and all its holdings, including our newly onboarded subsidiary in the craft space, The New Frontier Brewing Company. 

Whoa. Now what the fuck? I thought you said you turned her down, Kitty? 

I thought I did!

What’d I say? I done told yo asses. My mom is straight gangster.

It doesn’t make any sense. How can you buy something that’s not for sale? 

Fuck if I know. Alls I do know is now we want the same thing. To squash this deal, so you can keep on doing your OG Belgian IPA-ass thing, and I can get up on some newer, cooler shit. No offense. 

Believe me, none taken. 

So what do we are we supposed to do? 

It says here that the merger will be publicly announced tomorrow at Wolffenbeir HQ, during a ceremony presided over by CEO Hildegard Wolff, Mayor Lawrence Mockingbird and special guest, beloved Wolffenbeir mascot emeritus Dr. Lupustein.

That bitch ass. I should have kidnapped that goddamn dog from the jump. 

Wait a second, Zeke thought. 

I think I have an idea!

Seriously?

Seriously. Doubt him though the Mick may have — and at his peril — Zeke, of all people, had had an epiphany. Because while his career in the beer industry had gotten off to an admittedly slow start, on account of his general confusion regarding most matters pertaining to his job as well as the world at large, suddenly he understood something bigger, that no one else in this yurt could begin to fathom. Put simply, he understood that it wasn’t that it’s not about the beer. That was obvious. Even Billy knew as much. The Mick had been hung up on that for years. 

But then what was it, all about? 

Not real estate development like Larry thought. Not tech like Billy. 

Not politics. Not money. 

Not jam bands or rap beefs. 

Not mothers and sons or fathers and uncles. 

Not Jesus or Jah or Joseph Smith or the Jewish Guy.

Not the man on the moon or the wolf howling at him.  

Not social media management or event coordination, although we’re getting warmer. 

But certainly not war and peace or crime and punishment. 

Not love nor hate. 

And above all, it absolutely wasn’t at all about beer. Big or small. 

What it was all about, insofar as it was about anything, was the gray matter, the binding alloy agent that soldered all those spinning tectonic plates. The words that gave them some semblance of lasting meaning. The stories we tell about ourselves. Myths and fables and franchises. 

It was about Content. 

Thus began the end of this saga … 

The Intellectual Property Heist 

or the Great Train of Thought Robbery. 

[heywoodsays]

Original Song: Barbie’s Best Bet

The nominees are:

“The Fire Inside” from Flamin’ Hot

“I’m Just Ken” from Barbie

“It Never Went Away” from American Symphony

“Wahzhazhe (A Song for My People)” from Killers of the Flower Moon

“What Was I Made For?” from Barbie

This category upsets me most years, and this year is no exception. Why is “The Fire Inside” here other than to give Diane Warren a 15th Oscar nomination only to not have her win yet again? It doesn’t deserve to be here.

That being said, this year’s shortlist didn’t contain many gems, so it’s rather slim pickings. Notably, none of the new songs from musicals The Color Purple, Wonka, Flora and Son, and Dicks: The Musical made the final five, nor did other hopefuls like Olivia Rodgrigo’s “Can’t Catch Me Now” from the Hunger Games prequel or Lenny Kravtiz’s “Road to Freedom” from Rustin.

Instead, this year was all about Barbie. The prize will either go to “What Was I Made For?” or “I’m Just Ken.” The former, a Billie Eilish/FINNEAS collab is likely to win, especially after picking up the Golden Globe in January and the Grammy for Song of the Year in February. But “I’m Just Ken” has a lot of popular appeal and won the Critics’ Choice award, so it has some strong legs in this race. It may boil down to whether the Academy wants to give the O’Connells their second Oscar in three years. If that’s the case, Billie Eilish will become the youngest ever two-time Oscar winner.

There is an alternate reality where the two songs from Barbie split the vote, paving the way for a dark horse contender like Jon Batiste’s “It Never Went Away” or “Wahzhazhe” from Killers of the Flower Moon.

Who will win: “What Was I Made For?” from Barbie

But look out for: “I’m Just Ken” from Barbie

Who I’d vote for: “It Never Went Away” from American Symphony

If I could add one more: “Quiet Eyes” from Past Lives

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2024 OSCAR PICKS | FEATURES AND SHORTS: International Feature | Animated Feature | Documentary Feature | Live Action Short | Animated Short | Documentary Short | TRADE CRAFTS: Cinematography | Film Editing | Production Design | Costume Design | Makeup and Hairstyling | Sound | Visual Effects | Original Score | Original Song | TOP CATEGORIES: Original Screenplay | Adapted Screenplay | Supporting Actor | Supporting Actress | Actor | Actress | Director | Picture | TOP 10 FILMS OF 2023

[pinoyaksyonnewsph]

Echo at Kim, kumpirmadong hiwalay na!

Kapwa naitago nina Jericho Rosales at Kim Jones ang tunay na score sa kanilang pagsasama bilang mag-asawa.

All this time pala, hiwalay na pala sila, mga ilang taon na!

Kim and Jericho, they were married on May 1, 2019 .

Limang taon na halos silang magkahiwalay pagkatapos ng apat na taong pagsasama nila.

Ayon sa may-ari ng isang eyewear shop at ninong rin nila sa kasal na isinuwalat ito ni Ricco Ocampo.

But unlike most if not all showbiz marriages, hindi naging bitter ang paghihiwalay nina Echo at Kim.

“Mutual decision at amicable agreement” daw nangyaring separation sa kanila.

It was gathered na kapwa binigyan nina Echo at Kim ang isa’t isa ng kalayaan para mag-grow sa kung saanmang direksyon ang nais nila.

Despite their breakup, nananatili pa ring magkaibigan ang former showbiz couple.

For Echo’s part, matatandaang panay ang iwas nitong sagutin ang mga tanong na may kaugnayan sa kanila ni Kim.

“I am under no obligation to explain anything,” prangkang standard answer ng aktor.

Kapwa masaya naman ang dalawa as they look back sa kanilang nakaraan.

Nakilala ni Echo si Kim sa pamamagitan ng misis ni Dominic Ochoa.

It was a date which at first ay inayawan ni Echo until he saw Kim’s photo.

Kim was born to a Filipino mother and a British father.

Tuloy pa rin ang creative collab nila with Echo as the producer and Kim as the writer, director and star of a film!

[amostexcellentblog]

Public Domain Day: It's Not Just Mickey

Since everyone's celebrating Public Domain Day now I thought it'd be fun to list some of the movies that I'm most excited to see be rediscovered.

So, it's 1928, the last year of the silent era. Talkies are here, but studios and theaters are moving slowly to adopt the new (and expensive) technology. Meanwhile, America guzzles bathtub gin and dances the charleston, blissfully unaware that the Roaring Twenties will come to an abrupt end next year with the stock market crash. Change is coming, to the industry and the country, whether they want it or not.

Kicking things off, the holy trinity of silent comediennes each have a classic with expiring copyright:

The Circus: Charlie Chaplin's Little Tramp inadvertently becomes the star of a traveling circus. (Chaplin re-released the film later in his career with a new score that will still be under copyright.)

The Cameraman: Buster Keaton's last great comedy, just beware the stereotype-heavy Chinatown scenes.

Speedy: Harold Lloyd tries to save his girlfriend's family's trolley service from the streetcar syndicate. Babe Ruth has a cameo.

The Crowd: King Vidor's masterpiece of two young lovers in New York City trying to hold onto their humanity amidst the brutal rat race.

The Patsy: Delightful King Vidor comedy starring Marion Davies as a modern-day Cinderella and Marie Dressler as her mother

The Wind: Lillian Gish, the First Lady of American Cinema, plays a young woman from the east slowly being driven mad by the isolation and familial tensions on her cousin's Texas ranch. It's been called the last great drama of the silent era.

Show People: Another Vidor/Davies collab, a charming Hollywood spoof about a smalltown girl who dreams of dramatic stardom but whose real gift is for slapstick. Co-starring the underrated William Haines and featuring a host of silent star cameos.

Laugh, Clown, Laugh: Circus-set melodrama starring Lon Chaney as a tragic clown hopelessly in love with the girl he's raised since infancy. The gender politics are beyond messed up, but something about Chaney's haunting performance has stayed with me.

The Man Who Laughs: This movie inspired the creation of the Joker, but we'll forgive it that.

Our Dancing Daughters: The movie that made Joan Crawford a star.