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[gothhabiba]

Some hints about evaluating scientific studies

Firstly, understand that something being published in a scientific journal (or an academic journal for the social sciences) does not automatically make it true. Publishers profit from publishing novel, eye-catching, surprising research, which means they are more likely to publish positive results than ones that didn't find a connection between given variables. This means that scientists' careers benefit when they get positive results. Certain institutions also benefit from certain findings above others (a committee for research on "obesity" that is funded by a government organisation tasked with ending it, for example, is likely to try to stretch the evidence to find a link between body weight and poor health outcomes). So how do people evaluate scientific studies, especially without being scientists themselves?

Literature reviews

Literature reviews, which aim to assemble and summarise most of the available or influential papers on a given issue, can be a good place to start when trying to research that issue. Typically, scientific studies shouldn't only be evaluated on a case-by-case basis (since even well-designed studies can be contradicted by other, equally well-designed studies), but a full survey of the different results people have gotten should be taken.

Background information and conflicts of interest

Try to find out who funded a given study. Who published the study? What do these people stand to gain from the results of the study being accepted? (For example: you might pay special attention to the experimental design on a study on whether a certain essential oil helps to reverse hair loss that was carried out by a company that sells that oil.)

In theory, many journals call for study authors to declare any conflicts of interest they may have in a special section of the paper. This section should also list funding sources. You might also look up the authors on linkedin or something to find where they're employed; also look into whether another conglomerate owns that company, &c.

Experimental design

If the study involves a survey, have the authors of the paper provided the questions that people were asked, so that you can evaluate them for potential ambiguity or confusing wording? Not being transparent about the exact wording of questions is a sign that a study isn't trustworthy.

What's the sample size? Is it large enough for the claim the study is making to be reasonable? (More on this in the next section.)

Does the experimental design make sense with what the researchers wanted to study? Are the claims that they make in the conclusion section something that could reasonably be proven or suggested by the experiment that they performed?

Does the experimental design "bake in" an assumption of the truth of its hypothesis? (For example, measuring skeletons to argue that they fall into statistically significant size groupings by sex, using skeletons that you sorted into "male" and "female" groups based on their size, is clearly circular).

How was data collected? People might change their answers to a survey, for example, if they have to speak to a person to give them, rather than writing them down anonymously. Self-reported information (such as a survey aiming to figure out average height or average penis size) is also subject to bias. A good study should be transparent about how the authors collected their data, and be clear about how this could have affected their results.

Also regarding surveys: do the categories that the authors have divided respondents into make sense? Are these categories really mutually exclusive? If respondents were asked to sort themselves into categories (e.g., to select their own race or ethnicity), is there any guarantee that they all interpreted the question / the boundaries of these categories the same way? How would this affect the results?

Interpretation of results

Could anything other than the conclusion that the authors came to explain the results of their experiment? For example, a study finding a correlation between two variables and assuming that this means one variable causes the other ("being in a lot of stress causes short stature" or vise versa) could be missing a secret third thing which is in fact causing both of those things (e.g., poverty). Check to make sure that the authors considered other explanations for their findings and ruled them out (for example, by controlling for other variables such as socioeconomic status).

Are the results of the study generalisable to the population that the authors claim they're generalisable to? For example, the results may not be true for the entire population if only cisgender men between the ages of 30 and 40 were tested. Sampling biases can also affect generalisability—if I surveyed my college to try to find out the percentage of women in the total population, you might ask "but is your college sure to have the same percentage of women as the Earth does?"

Statistics

Are the results statistically significant, or are they within expected margins of error?

Many studies provide a p-value (a number between 0 and 1) for their results. In theory, a p-value represents the chance that the study's results could have been achieved by random chance. If you flip a coin ten times (so, your sample size is 10), it's not very odd to get heads six times and tails four times, and you wouldn't accept that as proof that the coin lands on heads more often than tails. The p-value for that result would be high (that is, there's a high chance that the coin appears unfair only because of random chance). On the other hand, if you flip a coin 100,000 times and it lands on heads 60,000 of those times, that's much better evidence that the coin is not a fair one. The p-value would be much lower. Typically, a p-value lower than 0.05 is considered statistically significant.

In practice, there's more than one way to calculate p-values, and so studies sometimes claim p-values that seem absurdly low. A low p-value is not proof of a claim in and of itself. Check to make sure that the authors of the paper also provide the raw data, and not just the p-values; this indicates a concern with other people being able to independently evaluate their results, rather than just trying to get The Best Numbers.

Citations

If the study cites something that seems foundational to their claims or interpretation, try tracing it back to the paper that was cited. Does the source actually claim what the authors of the first study said it did? Does the source provide proof or support for the claim, or does it seem flimsy, like a "common-sense" assumption?

Replication

Check the studies that cite the one you're currently looking at. Has anyone else tried to replicate the study? What were their results?

What if I really, really don't want to read scientific studies?

That's fine. Not everyone is concerned enough with specific scientific questions for regularly reading scientific papers to be reasonable for them. Just keep in mind that not everything in a scientific journal is necessarily true; that profit motives and personal and institutional bias impact results (e.g. when some studies revealed a lack of poor health outcomes for "obesity," and many scientists responded by calling it a "paradox" that needed to be "solved"); and that pop science and journalistic reporting on science are subject to distortions from the same sources.

Try finding commentators on scientific matters whose output you like, and evaluate their writing the same way you would evaluate any other critical writing.

[axeeglitter]

Back from the Vault: LifeX

Nathan Brown sat hunched over his desk, the glow of his laptop screen illuminating his tired eyes. His San Francisco apartment was a mess: clothes strewn across the floor, empty takeout containers stacked on the kitchen counter, and a half-empty coffee mug perched precariously on the edge of his desk. Nathan's bed was unmade, a tangled heap of blankets and pillows. The room smelled faintly of stale air and sweat, the result of a broken air conditioning unit and a lack of motivation to clean.

Nathan was staring at his laptop screen, scrolling through yet another round of job listings. His bank account was dangerously low, and the anxiety of unpaid bills was gnawing at him. He was 26 years old, recently graduated with a degree in communications, and he was struggling to find any kind of work. His YouTube channel, where he reviewed video games and shared walkthroughs, was his only source of income, but the revenue it brought in was barely enough to buy groceries, let alone pay rent or bills.

Nathan was average in build, with a light tan from his Latino heritage, and short, dark hair that he usually kept neat. His face was lightly stubbled, a sign of his growing indifference to grooming as stress took over. He sighed and rubbed his eyes, feeling the weight of exhaustion settle into his bones. He was on the brink of giving up when a notification popped up on his screen, breaking his focus.

"Subject: Exciting Opportunity for Collaboration!"

Nathan hesitated, then clicked on the email. It was from a company called LifeX. He didn’t recognize the name, but curiosity got the better of him.

“Dear Nathan,

We’ve come across your YouTube channel and believe we could work well together. LifeX is launching a groundbreaking new game, and we are looking for individuals to help us with beta testing and promotion. Your content aligns perfectly with our vision, and we think this could be a great collaboration. If you accept, you’ll also be able to help us optimize the AI of our games by creating your own NPC character, it’ll be later implemented in the game when it’ll be released. Of course, we offer financial compensation for your work.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Best regards, The LifeX Team”

Nathan’s first instinct was skepticism. It sounded too good to be true, and he’d heard horror stories of scams and phishing attempts. But the desperation for money overrode his better judgment. He quickly searched for LifeX online, finding only a sparse website filled with vague marketing speak about “immersive experiences” and “cutting-edge technology.” There were no reviews, no user testimonials, nothing solid. This should have been a red flag, but Nathan was too desperate to care. He needed this. He needed a break.

Nathan decided to respond. He typed out a quick reply expressing his interest. Almost immediately, another email arrived, containing a download link, setup instructions, and a NDA requesting his personal information: name, age, location, and other details. Nathan filled out the form, barely thinking about the potential consequences. He selected the longest trial period possible: one month, hoping it would give him enough content for his channel and enough time to determine if the collaboration was worthwhile.

As soon as he submitted the form, a melodic chime sounded from his laptop, followed by a smooth, professional voice:

“Thank you for signing up, Nathan. To begin your experience, you will first create the NPC character, and then you’ll be ready to start your experience in the environment you’ll choose. For the trial to run successfully, please ensure that your computer remains on for the entire duration of the test period: one month. Any interruption may result in data loss or corruption. Welcome to LifeX.”

Nathan frowned at the last part but shrugged it off. He figured it was just standard legalese, probably meant for immersion. The screen changed to a character creation window, displaying a basic human figure in a T-pose. Nathan leaned forward, curiosity piqued, and started customizing the avatar.

He named the avatar “Cody,” envisioning him as the polar opposite of himself. Cody would be everything Nathan wasn’t: confident, athletic, and effortlessly cool. He adjusted the height to 6'4", pushed the muscle sliders to the maximum, giving Cody bulging biceps, a broad chest, and thick, powerful legs holding a perfectly muscled ass. From the corner of his eyes, Nathan spotted a slider on the groin area. He laughed as he understood he could also determine how big he could adjust Cody’s penis and balls. Smiling, he selected the largest option possible for his dick and added a huge heavy pair of balls to go with it, watching it grow in proportion to the rest of his body. He added bright hazel eyes, bushy eyebrows, and messy dark brown hairs that would contrast perfectly to the pale sun kissed skin.

After the body customization, Nathan saw a new window open: Clothes and accessories. After thinking about it, he chose a pair of denim shorts that ended mid-thigh, showing off Cody’s muscular legs. Nathan opted for no T-shirt, exposing Cody’s ripped torso and added a ripped sleeve shirt opened on his muscled hair pecs. He then moved on to accessories and decided to put a loop earring on his right ear and a silver chain around his neck.

After the customization was done, it was asked for Nathan to enter some information about the NPC he just created to create a base behavior for him. After a while, Nathan decided to go for the stereotypical fratbro behavior to go with the appearance he just did. He started typing, adding details about Cody’s lifestyle. He entered notes in the behavior interface: “Cody is dumb as a brick. He loves gym, training and being barefoot, feeling the ground under his calloused feet.” He laughed as he added another line: “Cody never takes showers, loves the smell of his own musk, enjoys sniffing his hairy armpits after a workout and scratching his big dick every couple of minutes after what he smells them and always smile enjoying his own musk.” Nathan chuckled, amused at the thought of creating such a ridiculous character. It was so far removed from his real life that it seemed like a fun NPC to talk and interact with. Just a dumb easy-going character that is always down for a fuck and a drink after a gym session barefoot in the woods.

Satisfied with his creation, he confirmed the settings. The game prompted him to select a location, and he chose the Secluded Forest Realm, envisioning Cody as a carefree physical trainer just out of college living in a cabin in the wilderness.

The screen went black for a moment, and the professional voice returned: “Now that your character is complete, it’s time to play! Please keep your computer running at all times to maintain synchronization. Any interruption may lead to data corruption. Enjoy your month-long experience, Nathan, and welcome to LifeX.” Nathan was really getting excited now. He conder what kind of character he would create for himself when he saw a flash of light on the screen. It looked like some kind of swirling mesh, almost like a blackhole. For a moment Nathan thought it was kind of a cool effect, but everything changed when he went to grab his half drink cup of coffee sitting next to him only to realize his right hand was tingling and tiny particles were escaping his nails, flying straight to his screen.

A sudden wave of fatigue hit Nathan, and the lights in his apartment flickered briefly. A sense of unease washed over him, making the hairs on his arms stand up. Before he could react, the tingling sensation spread from his fingertips up through his arms. He stared in disbelief as his fingers began to dissolve into streams of glowing white code, spreading quickly across his body. He tried to scream, but his voice caught in his throat. His vision blurred as the Life X logo was pulsing in bright light in the center of the screen with a loading bar under it going up further and further. The last thing he saw was the 100% before everything went black.

Nathan found himself suspended in a void. He was floating, naked, surrounded by darkness. Panic set in, his heart racing as he tried to move, but his body was frozen in a T-pose. The sensation was bizarre, as if he were trapped in a dream. He wanted to call out, but his voice was muffled, like shouting underwater. The smooth, professional voice returned, echoing through the void:

“Welcome to your new life, Nathan. Don’t panic; this process is normal and painless. In a few moments, you will begin your ideal life in the Secluded Forest Realm. Relax and feel calm. Avatar synchronization will begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…”

“What the fuck, where am I? What is going on? Why can’t I move?! HELP!!” thought Nathan as he tried to scream even though his face remained frozen.

Nathan’s body suddenly stiffened. A pressure built inside him, starting at his core and spreading outward. His bones stretched and cracked, lengthening to match Cody’s new height. His arms and legs grew longer, muscles bulging and expanding to fill out his new form. Nathan could feel his muscles tearing and healing at an accelerated rate, becoming stronger and more defined with each passing second.

His skin began to tighten, smoothing out imperfections and leaving with a perfectly smooth skin all around his muscled body. Nathan would be screaming if his voice mas not muted. Everything was burning and it was like feeling his DNA being rewritten while still being conscious. As he felt tears rising up his eyes, a new sensation invaded his newly modified skin. In his pits, legs and between his pecs, he felt like thousands of needles were piercing holes. The sensation was only multiplied as he started to feel hair sprouting from the holes. They were dark brown and thick but worst, the sensation of piercing needles started to appear around his groin too. Still wondering what was happening to him, Nathan tried to connect the elements he could find and that when he realized. The secluded forest, the muscles, the hair; that was Cody’s information, which means… Just enough time to understand what was happening to him when the hair started to sprout in abondance around his dick and nuts and climbing up his sculpted abs in a thin happy trail. After the hair, the modifications started to appear on his face. His jawline becoming sharper and more angular, his cheekbones more pronounced. His lips filled out, becoming more defined, while his eyebrows grew thicker, framing his eyes. His vision sharpened, colors becoming brighter and more vivid. His brown eyes shifted to a bright hazel as he lost vision for a moment. Everything was happening all at once and still, Nathan felt like it was an eternity of pain.

Nathan’s hair thickened, turning into soft, dark strands that fell casually over his forehead. His ears reshaped slightly to match his new head structure. A sensation of warmth spread through his throat as his vocal cords tightened, his voice box reshaping. When he tried to speak, his voice was deeper, richer, and carried a slight accent, a relaxed, Western drawl.

Nathan felt a growing warmth in his groin and realized what was about to happen now. All of a sudden, he regrated giving Cody such a big dick and heavy nuts. His cock thickened and lengthened, becoming larger than Nathan had ever been. He could feel the veins snaking down his growing dick as his cock head started to grow thicker and bigger. He could feel the cold air surrounding him as the head sneaked out of his foreskin. Wait, his foreskin? He didn’t remember going this far in details. His nuts fall down and grew thicker and full of potent cum as he could feel them going overload working on creating new manly sperm nonstop. Nathan could feel the horniness starting to rise as his body was assaulted by huge amount of testosterone. A drop of precum appeared at the tip of his cock as he could feel the weight of it between his legs, an odd sensation that both embarrassed and intrigued him. His buttocks tightened, becoming firm and lifted, while his thighs and calves thickened with muscle.

The transformation was almost complete when Nathan felt a sharp pain on his left pec. He wanted to scream, but his body was still frozen. The pain was like a branding iron pressing into his skin. “What is this?!” screamed Nathan in his new deep voice. A voice appeared from all around him “Dear user: NATHAN BROWN, as talked with you earlier on, you agreed to review and help us create the new generation of AI used for our NPCs. For that, your character, CODY, will have to be monitored. This assignation, XXIV, is the link to your identity and allow us to track your character. Please relax as your actions will be tracked and then saved. The program will make sure to copy all your movements, thoughts and everything that your character, CODY, might do to make sure to copy human mechanism that will be implemented in our NPCs later on. Thank you for your service.” When it subsided, a Roman numeral tattoo “XXIV” was there, bold and black, as if it had always been part of him. Nathan could feel the tattoo pulsing with energy, as if it was more than just ink on skin.

As his body finished transforming, clothes materialized around him. He now wore a sleeveless, open checkered flannel shirt and a short pair of denim shorts. Then he felt his ear being stabbed as the earing appeared in it and the coldness of the silver metal appeared around his neck. His feet then started to tingle as Nathan could feel the skin of his sole getting thicker and denser to better serve his barefoot lifestyle in the forest.

Nathan was terrified about what he just heard; his humanity was going to be used to program AI that will be implemented in NPCs. How is that even possible? Does that mean he was Cody now? And for a whole month? He didn’t agree to this. He had a life outside, friends, job to find, maybe some interviews if he was lucky. And about the bills? What was he going to do?

As all the questions were swirling in his head, Nathan fell the restriction holding his body in place as it was being modified lift. He could move on his own again, and the first thing he tried to do was take of his shirt or necklace. But every tug on the clothes or metal fell like he was trying to rip a part of him away. The clothes were part of him now. Nathan started to feel tears rise once again in his ears as all he could see around him were the infinite void of this artificial world. “Modification process terminated, Assimilation to the realm starting in 3,2,1…” Out of nowhere, the ground started to shake under Nathan’s barefoot. Then he saw light pierce through the ceiling. As a reflex, he put his hands to cover his bright hazel eyes but the light was way too bright. Nathan could see entire walls of darkness vanish and being obliterated by this bright light coming from above and fear started to raise in him. Nathan closed his eyes as all he could see was the infinite light engulfing the void and him with it. When he opened his eyes, Nathan was alone in a cabin in the woods, standing in front of a mirror. For the first time, he could see from the first person point of view what the body he created really looked like. Everything was looking so life like, even scent of pine and dirt were coming from the opened window next to him. He could smell the woods, feel the sun on his skin, the wood under his foots. Everything was lifelike. As Nathan sight started to look what his transformed body looked like, his head started to spin. Nathan grabbed it with his two manly hands but the pain was growing stronger. And in the blink of an eye, Nathan was no more. Cody stared at his reflection before smiling and flexing his biceps while smiling. His right hand lowered to get inside his shorts and scratch his hairy dick before putting his fingers under his nose to smell his musk. Cody laughed as he walked away, grabbing a snack on his way out to go exercise a bit in the nature.

“New NPC starting test phase. Remaining time 30 days, 23 hours 59 minutes 23 seconds. Behavior analysis… Acting following user NATHAN BROWN encoding. Tester assimilation… Assimilation stable, user will turn back when tests are over.”

______________________________________________________________ Hey guys! Here's another story back from the Vault, and it's my first ever published story: LifeX Hope you guys enjoy this new version of my story. Let me know what you think of it. As always, my asks are open and i'm always looking for new ideas and prompts from you. I try to answer them all and I love to read your ideas so please, don't be afraid to send anything you'd like me to write and I'll do my best to do it :) Take care of yourself! P.S. A follow up to this story should arrive soon ;)

[oatmealzz]

Firstly so sorry for the graphic image. I found this on the Danganronpa reddit. Also MAJOR DANGANRONPA V3 SPOILERS.

I feel like this very crudely drawn image of Kokichi’s dead crushed up corpse is the last piece I needed to fully accept his death.

Not being able to see the state of the body during the investigation, created a barrier for me to fully understand Kokichi’s exit out of the main story. It just felt like he “left” rather than died.

Additionally, none of the characters saw the dead body and that definitely had an impact on their attitude towards him. His death was brushed off because they also never got to see his dead body. Maki didn’t investigate the body and such. There was no opportunity to be traumatized but ample to refuel their hatred towards him. Remember when Nagito’s body was found? The characters wouldn’t stop talking about the stab wound and the spear. The graphic depictions of Nagito stabbing himself added to the nightmare fuel situation. Like SOMEONE did that to his body vibe. In this trial, that wasn’t discussed in a manner that resembled 2-5. Not being able to see the graphic nature of a body being crushed flat means the characters can avoid it. Again, put yourself in the situation you felt when you initially saw Kokichi’s death. Seeing his crushed body would absolutely impact your experience because it’s like DANG, WHO DID THIS?! Did he really deserve a death like that? And so on.

This is why his absence during the class trial wasn’t discussed to its extent such as with other characters. Imagine seeing the body and then going to the trial where the exisal was talking in his voice. It would be SUPER weird. LIKE I SAW HIS CRUSHED BONES AND ORGANS OUT ON THAT PRESS AND NOW IM HEARING HIS VOICE? I know for some people, not seeing the body meant that maybe both Kaito and Kokichi were alive and that they used another body to substitute a killing. After Monokuma revealed that it wasn’t possible to do so, I don’t remember anyone who acknowledged the body afterwards due to how the trial was going.

I’m no Kokichi Stan but I did warm up to his character pre-chapter 4. I always felt that his death and trial were lackluster and lacked needed impact. Personally, I thought the trial wasn’t very good but seeing a depiction of the body has changed my opinion on the trial.

Kaito also never saw Kokichi afterwards because he never lifted the press after it crushed him. Kaito doesn’t really have to carry the weight of the plan and his actions, because he never gets to see the honest result of them. Therefore, he was able to focus on the plan to foul Monokuma and stick to the script that a dead boy wrote. Personally, my entire view on Kaito would drastically change more if we both saw the state of the body. Like learning that Kaito killed Kokichi in the most violent way possible. This is no stab to the neck or strangulation where a character might crack a joke (throwback to Ryoma, Miu and even Nagito). I remember thinking that their plan failed because the gang ended up figuring out their scheme and there is a viewpoint that Kokichi’s plan failed. If it did, he died for nothing and in the most violently unnecessarily way possible too.

Danganronpa V3 had many victims where the remaining cast had a short mourning period for (Rantaro, Ryoma and Miu). Each student had different circumstances where the cast couldn’t comment too much on their dead peers. Rantaro distanced himself from others, and no one was particular close to Ryoma or Miu.

However, Kokichi was one where almost no one mourned his death.

It’s interesting for sure. I think more people mourned the losses of the culprits more than the victims.

Anyways - I recommend reviewing 3-5 again and seeing this image somewhere during the investigation. I promise, my opinion on 3-5 drastically improved afterwards.

[captain-fantasy]

PLEASEEEE CONTINUE A CHAPTER OF MINE WITH BEN BARNESSS PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE IM BEGGING YOUUUUU

Surrender - Billy Russo x f!reader

Sequel to Mine which you can read here

Warnings: semi-public sex, unprotected sex, no review

author's note: giving the people what they want

The walk back home from the party was tense. You couldn’t shake off the weight of the words that had come out from Billy. The revelation of his feelings for you had affected you in ways you hadn’t expected. 

When you reached your apartment, neither of you said a word. Instead, you opened the door and shrugged off your coat, handing it to Billy so he could hang it on one of the hooks on the wall. Still in silence, you crossed the room and opened the doors to the balcony, stepping outside and letting the soothing night breeze brush against your skin, momentarily relieving the heat that had built up inside you throughout the night. Lost in your thoughts, you failed to notice when Billy approached you, his voice being the first to break the silence. 

“Mind if I join you?” he asked, his voice light. 

Startled, you turn to face him, momentarily at a loss for words. He wore an unreadable expression, his features concealed by the shadows of the night. 

“Of course,” you whispered, unsure if your voice was strong enough to speak normally. 

The two of you sat silently for a moment, the faint sounds of cars driving below and dull city noise from outside. 

“I think we need to figure out what we want,” Billy started.

Time seemed to stand still at that moment, the air heavy with tension. Billy’s intense gaze bore into your eyes, his black eyes reflecting a dark storm. There was a fire within him, a volatile mixture of emotions threatening to consume both of you. But behind that facade, you saw a vulnerability you’d never noticed. 

You reached out and placed a hand on his, the connection sparking an electric current that pulsed between you. “I agree,” you whispered, your voice filled with apprehension, “We can’t ignore what’s between us anymore.”

Billy’s gaze softened, the storm within his eyes receding to reveal a glimmer of hope. Slowly, he closed the distance between you, his hand caressing your cheek with a tenderness you hadn’t expected. The touch sent shivers down your spine, igniting a fire deep within your core. 

“I don’t know what came over me tonight, y/n. I think- Seeing you with Matt I-, It drove me crazy. I wanted you all to myself. I’m drawn to you; I have been since we met. Every night we’re together, I can’t get enough.”

Your heart swelled at his words, his vulnerability taking your breath away. At that moment, you realized the depth of his emotions, the intensity of his desire. It was a revelation that left you trembling, yearning for more. 

“Billy,” you whispered, your voice barely audible, “I feel the same way. Every minute without you feels like a part of me is missing. You complete me, Bill. Your hands, your eyes, your touch. I’m in love with every part of you.”

He leaned closer, his lips brushing against yours in a featherlight kiss that ignited a fire within you. It was an act of surrender, a melody of two souls finally finding harmony. The world faded away, and you were consumed by the intensity of your shared connection.

At that moment, time ceased to exist. Your bodies intertwined, moving with a rhythm that defied words. It was a language only you two understood, a symphony of desire and passion that painted the night with the colors of ecstasy.

Billy’s kiss got more insistent, needier. His hands had begun to slip underneath the hem of your skirt, tracing dangerously close to the wet spot in your underwear that had reappeared when he started touching you. Your skin felt like it was on fire, your breaths were short, and Billy’s beard left a slight burn while he bit at the skin on your neck. Your breathing quickened, and your head turned to reveal a nearly empty street. Suddenly, you were aware that you were still technically in public, and anyone who looked at your building would receive an eyeful from you and Billy. 

“Bill-hey, maybe we shouldn’t do this here-”

“Tell me to stop,” he murmured against your skin. His lips had begun to travel down your body, leaving fresh marks on your chest and neck. He pushed the material around your thighs as he met your waist, letting it bunch above your hips, allowing better access to where he wanted. He could see the effect he had on you for the first time. The wet spot on your underwear had gradually grown, making Billy smirk at how easily he could mold you into putty whenever he touched you. 

“Please, Billy,” you whined. Your fingers brushed through Billy’s hair, trying to pull him where you wanted him the most. Your neediness made him chuckle, his eyes staring up at you while he placed a soft kiss and licked your clothed clit. 

His nails scratched your skin as he pulled your almost entirely soaked-through panties down your legs. Billy gathered some of the wetness that had begun to drip onto your thighs with his index finger, pushing it into you and grazing over your clit. Your head fell back as he slid his tongue into your entrance, spreading it flat before dragging it up, driving you crazy. 

The moans he was letting out vibrated through your entire body, focusing on your clit as he sucked it between his teeth, using one hand to expertly curl his fingers into your sopping entrance while the other held onto your thigh to keep you still. 

Your whines became short and breathy as you tried to muffle them, hands tightly gripping the railing to keep yourself from falling over. You finally felt a sweet release as it poured out of you, allowing Billy to drink it. You were sure that if you let go of the railing, your legs would completely give out underneath you, so you decided it was best to keep your grip on it. 

Once Billy decided he had sufficiently cleaned you up, he stood up, towering over you, his eyes black and hooded, full of lust. He kissed you again, this time tenderly, sweetly. You could taste yourself on him when he slipped his tongue into your mouth, delicately exploring yours as if it were new terrain for him. You could feel his bulge through his pants. Deciding to be bold, you slipped your hand under his waistband, smiling when you heard him make a strained moan. He was painfully hard as he stared at you, silently begging you for more. 

You slipped his pants down just enough to pull his length out, your soft palm massaging the precum out of his cock. You released your grip on the balcony railing, moving it to rest on his shoulder, pulling him close to you. His hands were stationed on your waist, his sight focused on the dirty image of his cock diving into you. Your moans synchronized when he was entirely inside you, allowing you to feel every vein and twitch of his cock, a luxury you weren’t awarded earlier in the night when he roughly pounded into you in a stranger’s bedroom. 

This was different, something you hadn’t experienced with him. It was full of love. Every touch, kiss, and heavy breath showed you there was more to Billy than you thought. 

These thoughts faded when you felt yourself on the brink of orgasm again. Billy’s sloppy thrusts and tight grip on you showed you he was close too but insisted on holding off until you came first. Relief wasn’t far, though, as you came almost instantly when his cock touched your g-spot perfectly, causing every hair on your body to stand up and warmth to wash over you like warm water. He finished soon after you, his hips slightly stuttering before fully pushing himself in you, tight ropes of cum filling your belly. 

As your breathing regulated, you looked up at him, your chests becoming in sync. His eyes, once filled with the intensity of passion, now held a new warmth, a tenderness that wasn’t there mere minutes ago. The streets were hushed, the echoes of your shared ecstasy slowly dissipating. 

You traced a finger along his jawline, marveling at the subtle changes in his expression. The rugged exterior he often wore was gone. Instead, it was as if the layers of his past were shed, revealing a man desperate for connection. 

“I never expected this,” he whispered, his voice laced with awe. “To feel this connected to another person again.”

You smiled, your heart brimming with affection. You couldn’t find any words that would describe your love, but you figured you would have time to show him. 

As you sat there, bodies still intertwined, you knew that this moment was the beginning of a new chapter. You nestled closer to Billy, your bodies finding comfort in each other’s embrace. In the serenity of that shared embrace, you knew that whatever lay ahead, you would be doing together. 

buy me a ko-fi?

[exeggcute]

well it's been almost six months which I think is long enough to break my posting embargo, so, uh: guess what! I got liposuction lol. specifically hip/thigh lipo to quell some pretty wicked dysphoria that stemmed from having such a feminine silhouette… and I have to say I'm really, really pleased with the results.

tbh my initial plan was to keep things under wraps for good which is why I haven't said anything about it yet (and even as I'm typing this up I keep debating whether to post it or trash it)—partly because I was/am worried people might Act Weird about it and partly because I get a little embarrassed talking about bodygendershit in general. but here we are. one reason I do feel compelled to finally share, other than being super happy about how everything went, is that I haven't encountered a lot of discussions about body sculpting as a possible avenue of gender-affirming care (although, to be fair, maybe I just haven't been looking in the right places) and I figured at least one person out there would be interested to learn about what I did and where I've ended up so far.

anyway. pics/details under the cut—nothing even remotely risqué (or yucky), I just know that body image stuff is fraught + not everyone is eager to hear surgery talk.

to be precise: I got tumescent liposuction of the inner and outer thigh, plus this ultrasound thing to help the skin shrink. a different surgeon who I consulted (but ultimately did not go with for a number of reasons) said that even if I got the results I wanted from lipo, which he claimed was unlikely, the affected skin would look loose/baggy/weird forever... and that surgeon was wrong on both counts lol. my elasticity was great bitch!!!!

they didn't take out that much fat overall, only eight pounds or so, but it's way more about the Where than the How Much. my actual surgeon (who kicks ass btw) said lipo isn't that great for weight loss per se, and what it's really good for is sculpting targeted areas—so basically exactly what I did. six months post-op I actually weigh about the same as what I did pre-op, but the distribution has held steady; more weight goes to my stomach now and less, proportionally, goes to my hips since there are fewer fat cells in that area now. so my silhouette retains its new shape!

the overall change is admittedly on the subtle side, since I'm pretty short and have wide hip bones (and you can't change your literal skeleton) but it's still gone a looooooong way. the main thing I requested from my surgeon was "I want to fit in men's pants" and boy did he deliver.

also a good place to note that if you're in the las vegas area looking for a plastic and/or cosmetic surgeon—this guy is board-certified in both btw—then I absolutely have the guy for you. feel free to DM me for details. lipo is clearly his specialty (and it shows!) but he also does a lot of breast revisions/mastopexy (i.e., fixing implants that other surgeons did a bad job putting in), regular implants, and face work (particularly facial feminization surgery). one thing that sold me on this guy was an enthusiastic yelp review from a local stripper who said he hid the incisions for her breast lift in her armpits so none of her clients would notice that she'd had work done... a true master of his craft

okay you've scrolled enough so I'll give you what you're here for lol. I don't have many pre-op pics because I was obviously unhappy with how I looked and was not taking full-body selfies on a regular basis, but here's a few I took ~2 weeks beforehand:

these super thin men's joggers were my go-to dysphoria pants, to the point where I bought five pairs in different colors, but now they're so baggy on me that they have the opposite effect and make it look like I have wider hips than I do. so I retired them from my wardrobe...

...except not immediately because I had to wear compression garments 24/7 for the first three months post-op and these joggers were just loose enough to comfortably wear a medical girdle underneath them at all times, 110° degree temperatures be damned. (not that I was going out much for the first month since I was soooooooooooo fucking bruised and sore lol.) here's a few post-op pics in the same style pants:

(first pic is less than 24 hours post-op, about to go to my follow-up appointment, looking greasy as fuck because I wasn't allowed to shower yet; second pic two days post-op and also post-shower, thankfully; third pic is about a month post-op.)

so, like, CLEAR improvement already. I will not be posting pictures of my black-and-blue-and-swollen-all-over legs but considering how puffy I was from getting internally pummeled with a cannula it's wild that I still saw improvement literally as soon as I came home.

recovery was obviously not a blast in the moment but I got off easy, all things considered. I was supposed to get drains put in and was Not looking forward to that at all lol. the first thing I asked when I woke up after surgery was "how many drains?" because they weren't sure if I'd end up needing two or four, but it turned out the answer was zero. no drains!!!

I did have to lie with my feet elevated for the first two weeks straight, and had major bruising that receded over the first month (you could barely see my regular skin underneath all the mottled spots), but little to no nerve pain, no weird complications, and I was more or less back to normal after six weeks. also noelle took very very good care of me and was brave about injecting me with blood thinners so I wouldn't get clots and die :)

when I went into it I was fully expecting to get huge vertical scars up and down the sides of my legs (and had made peace with it!) but instead I wound up with four tiny incisions like this, each less than two inches long:

what's totally crazy is that the scars are basically Gone now. like even when I'm trying to find them I struggle to locate the ones in the front. I joked to noelle that if someone did an autopsy on me they might not figure out that I'd had cosmetic surgery, especially since the skin on my thighs is back to its normal color and texture. (in this scenario I like to imagine that it's dana scully giving me the autopsy and I'm in an x-files plot where instead of regular lipo I got alien lipo and mulder figures it out purely by accident.)

with lipo it can take up to a year to see the full results but I already feel so much fucking better in my body that seeing old pre-op pics throws me for a loop. and I can absolutely wear men's pants now—pants for short and stocky men, to be fair, but actual regular men's pants and not exclusively Pants For Men With Huge Butts And Legs. which is the only style I could even hope to fit in before. and even then it was a stretch.

big pic dump of shitty mirror selfies taken over the last few months:

:)

(also I really debated sharing this one but I already included it in the yelp review I left my surgeon so fuck it: here's a tasteful before-and-after in my undies where you can see my bare legs for easier comparison. left pic is one week pre-op, right pic is about five months post-op. including it as a link instead of embedding it in the post in case your boss happens to be reading over your shoulder at this very moment. also this is the one and only time you will ever see me stripped down on tumblr dot com so don't get used to it lol.)

[ezekiel-krishna]

Jupiter in Taurus ♉ Transit 2024 (Part 1)

💰💎Luck ,Abundance ,Fortune & Spirituality

{Vedic Astrology}[From May 2024 - May 2025]

In General for All Ascendant

Under the celestial guidance of Jupiter's aspiration for progress and Taurus' resilient and determined character, motivating us to have confidence in the process and achieve a concrete, substantial level of success.

Life can be exceptionally prosperous when Jupiter transits through Taurus. Jupiter signifies good fortune and prosperity, while Taurus embodies wealth and financial stability. When these cosmic forces combine harmoniously, the possibilities for significant monetary rewards are endless.

⇝ Your Guide to Check Your Placement (Vedic Astrology)

1st Step ⇨ Go to Vedic Astrology Calculator

2nd Step ➚ Enter Your Birth Info & Press { Calculate Sidereal Chart }

3rd Step ⇨ Find Your Rising Sign.

"Example here , this sign belong to Taurus "

Remember This is a General Analysis , Whole Chart is to be Considered for Accurate Personalized Predictions.

For Paid Personalized Analysis & Reviews ➤ Check Here

Masterlist ➤ Check Here

Aries ♈

During this phase, Jupiter will be moving into your second house and will have an impact on your sixth, eighth, and tenth houses. For Aries individuals, Jupiter governs the twelfth house which is associated with expenses, losses, spirituality, and also the ninth house representing Dharma, luck, religion, gurus, teachers, and your father.

This particular phase brings positive energy for your career growth and success. You can expect great opportunities for advancement, growth, and an increase in your status. However, it is important to keep your ego in check and avoid imposing your opinions on others unless they seek your advice.

In terms of finances, this transit is favorable for accumulating wealth and experiencing financial gains. Your savings are likely to grow during this time. Nevertheless, it is worth noting that Rahu (North Node) is positioned in your twelfth house of expenses. This may tempt you to spend excessively, so it is crucial to be mindful of your spending habits and resist the urge to overspend. Throughout this transit, luck is on your side, so take proactive steps to boost your income and add to your savings.

During this period, Aries Ascendent Singles have a high chance of finding love and possibly getting married. For married couples looking to expand their family, this is a favorable time. Family dynamics will see growth and expansion, with your communication becoming more mature. Respect from family members will also be abundant.Be cautious with loans and debts during this time, as the temptation for large purchases may arise. It's advisable to think carefully before taking on any financial commitments. This is also a good time to pay off any existing debts.

This Transit presents an opportunity to excel in competitive tasks, but effort is required. Health issues can be resolved with proper medical advice. You may find yourself drawn to religion and spirituality, which can be beneficial. Engaging in spiritual practices like yoga or meditation is recommended. Manage your relationships with father figures, coaches, and teachers, and avoid letting ego disrupt these connections.

Taurus ♉

Get ready for a major transformation, Taurus! With Jupiter moving into your 1st house, it will have a powerful influence on your 5th, 7th, and 9th houses. Jupiter rules over your eighth house, which signifies sudden changes and personal transformation, as well as your 11th house, which represents financial gains, wishes, desires, and your social network. This transit will bring about a complete personality change, making you wiser, more mature, and thoughtful.

You may notice a newfound sense of happiness and tranquility in your physical being. It's possible that you might even experience some weight gains, so be prepared for various changes in your mental, emotional, and physical state. Don't be surprised if you develop a preference for the color yellow, which is associated with Jupiter.

Financially, Jupiter will expand your resources, prompting you to focus on your financial planning. It's a great time to seek out the best investment opportunities and increase your savings for future stability. Additionally, you will acquire a wealth of wisdom and education, earning you respect from others who may even seek your advice and guidance.

If you're currently single, this is an incredibly powerful time for you to find a potential partner and even take the next step towards engagement or marriage. The placement of Jupiter in your chart is highly favorable for these kinds of life-changing events, including starting a family or welcoming a new member into your existing one. Additionally, some of you may have the opportunity to embark on journeys for spiritual, religious, or educational purposes. I strongly encourage you to seize these opportunities as they can bring long-term benefits and immense happiness. So go ahead and embrace the adventure of travel!

For students, this period holds great promise for academic success and pursuing higher education. It's a time when you'll truly shine in your studies and have the chance to expand your social and professional networks. By meeting new people, you'll forge lasting friendships that will enrich your life for years to come. So make the most of this positive phase by stepping out of your comfort zone, connecting with others, and expanding your circle of contacts.

Furthermore, this is a period where your influence on others can be truly impactful. However, it's important to avoid overconfidence and the belief that you already know everything. Instead, embrace a mindset of openness and willingness to learn from others. The more you educate yourself and absorb knowledge during this transit, the greater the benefits you'll reap in the long run. So stay curious, listen attentively, and let this be a time of personal growth and development.

Gemini ♊

For those with Gemini Ascendant, Jupiter will be moving through your 12th house, casting its influence on your fourth, sixth, and eighth houses. Jupiter governs your seventh and tenth houses, which are associated with partnerships, marriage, business, and your career. With Jupiter's transit, the focus shifts towards your career, business ventures, and material desires. During this year, many of you may consider relocating, either to a distant place or even a foreign country. This period also indicates the possibility of purchasing or investing in real estate. If you or your spouse are planning to change jobs or professions that involve working with foreign companies or in foreign countries, this is an incredibly favorable time to do so.

The desire to start your own business may be strong during this period, as the urge to make investments will be high. However, it's important to note that expenses may also be significant. These expenses could be related to travel, health, religious activities, investments, or even the purchase of real estate or vehicles. As Jupiter moves through this transitional phase, you may find yourself becoming more spiritually inclined. Some of you may even seek out a spiritual guru to deepen your understanding of religion and spirituality. You might also make changes in your living space, incorporating religious or spiritual items such as pictures, books, or other related objects to enhance your connection to the divine during this period.

It is crucial to maintain peaceful relationships and avoid conflicts with others, especially because the transit of Ketu in your 4th house may disrupt your mental peace due to domestic issues and concerns related to your home or real estate matters. However, with Jupiter now influencing your 4th house, you can expect improvements in your domestic situation, leading to a reduction in stress. Nevertheless, it is important to prioritize your health as there may be unexpected or hidden health issues that could arise. Consider scheduling a general checkup to ensure your well-being.

To support your overall well-being, focus on maintaining a healthy diet and incorporating exercise into your routine. Activities like light yoga, walking, running, or going to the gym can be beneficial. Keep in mind that this period may involve higher expenses, but it will also provide valuable lessons on investing wisely and growing your savings. Use this transit as an opportunity to enhance your financial knowledge and secure your future.

Cancer ♋

Jupiter's transit in your 11th house brings forth a promising time for Cancer. Its influence extends to your second, fifth, and seventh houses, impacting various aspects of your life. Notably, Jupiter governs your sixth and ninth houses, representing health, finances, and spirituality. With Jupiter's entry into Taurus, a fortunate period commences for you. Any previous disputes or conflicts may find resolution in a harmonious manner. Moreover, health issues that plagued you before will now begin to heal and recover. This phase holds immense potential for your income and career growth, with some of you witnessing a long-awaited increase in both financial status and earnings.

Opportunities for job promotions are also on the horizon, and if you're seeking new employment, this is an exceptionally favorable time to secure a well-paying position. Like other rising signs, those in relationships will find this period highly conducive to tying the knot. Additionally, your wisdom and insight will earn you the admiration and respect of your friends and colleagues. It's even possible that you may be entrusted with a training role within your job. Embrace this transformative phase and make the most of the positive energy surrounding you.

If you work in the fields of Health Care, financial planning, Investments, Education, Spirituality, or religion, you are in for a prosperous time ahead. There will be numerous opportunities that can bring you substantial financial gains. For students, this phase is particularly advantageous in terms of academic performance and competitive exams. Your relationship with your siblings will also flourish, and they may seek your advice, which will earn you respect.

Married individuals can expect improvements in their spouse's health, resolving any existing issues and bringing happiness to their marital life.

Overall, this transit is highly favorable for your income and financial situation, allowing you to increase your savings. This long-awaited transit will finally bring relief from past sufferings caused by the recent Saturn transit.

Stay Tuned for Part 2..

[w1ldthoughts]

AJ’s Analysis- Week One Preview⚡️:

Raiders at Chargers

Disclaimer: I am a Chargers fan so this will obviously be biased BUT I have been a football fan for the last 12 years and absolutely love dissecting the game and making comments so I figured I would give this a try! Please feel free to make comments and let me know your thoughts in my inbox!

Players to watch:

Los Angeles

Justin Herbert QB- Oregon- Year 5🩵

Pookie. Angel. Perfect prince. Idk. He’s just my favorite player in the NFL to watch. The arm talent, the decision making, the…everything. Ok so, this is honestly his coming out year. He’s finally got a coaching staff that is competent and hopefully working in an offense that doesn’t put the weight of the world on his shoulders. He’s also coming off of finger surgery and a minor foot injury so he should be healthy and ready to take over the league. Simple. I can’t wait to watch.

Stats: carried the team on his back pretty much all of last season, lost a finger nail, lost most of his sanity and then lost his season to a broken right index finger. Best game last year by far was the week 10 loss against the Lions where he threw for 323 yards and 4 touchdowns.

Cameron Dicker Kicker- Texas- Year 3

Little angel bean. Best kicker in the league. No further comments.

JK Dobbins RB- Ohio State- Year 5

Coming off of an Achilles injury and trying to shed the “injury prone” rumors, Dobbins is set to make his Chargers debut. One important thing to note, he’s only fumbled twice in his career…iykyk

Joe Alt RT- Notre Dame- Year 1

Here we go people! Fifth overall pick, mixed reviews from the audience. I’m rooting for him and the entire o-line to be much improved so I hope this first test shows that this investment in the “trenches” was worth it.

Khalil Mack EDGE/LB- Buffalo- Year 11

Recorded six sacks the first time these teams met last year. Was drafted by the Raiders in 2014 and has 100 career sacks, last season being one of his best in the last five years with 45 solo tackles and 17 sacks.

Joey Bosa DE/EDGE - Ohio State- Year 9

Also trying to shake injury prone rumors but seems to have taken on a new outlook and a new sense of excitement and motivation due to this new regime. Played in 9 games last season, starting 5 and still finished with 6.5 sacks. Honestly, looking forward to Joey making a big impact this season.

WR Room

I’ll preface this by saying I still miss Keenan Allen BUT ready to move forward. Very excited for Josh Palmer to get his time to shine hope he can stay healthy. DJ Chark excites me I’m gonna need to see some big plays from him. Quentin Johnston needs to have a breakout season. Ladd and Brenden are rookies but I need some huge contributions from them. Simi I know will show out when his number is called and if Derius the punt return king gets some targets I know he’s gonna put on a show. Nervous but excited to see how this goes!

Las Vegas

Gardner Minshew QB- Washington State- Year 6

Played in all 17 games for the Indianapolis Colts last year, made 13 starts and somehow always seems to know exactly what a team needs to get a win when his number is called. On his third team in his NFL career, looking to prove himself so he should come out looking to make a statement to keep his starting spot over AOC. Made the Pro Bowl last year with 305 completions and 3,305 passing yards, both career highs.

Davante Adams WR- Fresno State- Year 11

Your favorite wide receiver studies his film. Six Pro Bowls, three-time First team all pro, 39 games with 100+ receiving yards and has 9,637 receiving yards over the span of his career. Will get targets, will catch the ball and will probably score a touchdown (hopefully not two but who knows) this weekend.

Brock Bowers TE- Georgia- Year 1

Rookie Tight End making his NFL debut. Voted First Team All American by just about every single sports outlet in the country last season. Had 56 catches for 714 yards and six touchdowns for the Bulldogs in a 13-1 season falling short of a 3-peat not making the college football playoff but defeated Florida State 63-3 in the 2023 Capital One Orange Bowl.

Maxx Crosby DE- Eastern Michigan- Year 6

AKA Mad Maxx, neck tats can play football. Played in all 17 games last year and started. Heart and soul of the Raiders defense with 48 solo tackles and 14.5 sacks. Did get shaken out of his shoes by Justin last time and I’m sure he didn’t forget so he’ll be coming for vengeance.

Christian Wilkins DT- Clemson- Year 6

Entering his first season with the Raiders after a very successful five years in Miami. Recorded an NFL high 9 sacks for defensive tackles last season, started all 17 games and recovered two fumbles. Wilkins makes this Raiders defense a lot scarier and this will be a great first test for the often shaky Chargers o-line.

⏳FLASHBACK⌛️

Last time these two teams met, we all remember where we were…

1. Justin was injured, fresh off of surgery and Easton’s presence in the pocket is like a kid running late for curfew, very rushed and deer in the headlights

2. Defense quit and was ready to start fresh having lost faith in the entire coaching staff

3. We were all praying on the Charger downfall on this day and got what we wanted so sorry Coach Staley but…not sorry

Had to include this because baldy is gone and I couldn’t stand him. This was very embarrassing.

That’s it for week one!!!

Bolt the absolute fuck up

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

June 2023 Wk 2

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Step By Step (Tues WeTV & Gaga) ep 7 of 10 - I really adore the family/household dynamics in this show. All the relationships between siblings are so well executed. All the tension and sub text and covert glances in the first “modeling” sequence was so good. I really want to watch the BL within this BL. Bruce is THE BEST. Jeng shutting down everyone with a cool few words is genius (especially given the curt sharp flat way he speaks Thai). Why does nobody have parasols or sun hats or sunshades or sunglasses or anything? I’m actually not mad about seeing an attempted reunion with the ex, bc we are getting to see both that (and how) they once were good together, and also the cracks that drove them apart (and will not allow them to ultimately be together a 2nd time around). I do feel sorry for Jeng, he moved too slowly and lost the 1st round. The captions were not good in the trunk seen, but trust me it was totally hilarious. 

La Pluie (Sat iQIYI) ep 7 of 10 - I finally figured out why I am so tense around this show. In openly taking to task and challenging the soulmates trope, this narrative is telling viewers not to trust it’s core trope - which means we cannot trust the main couple to end happily, nor can we trust those characters who believe most strongly in fated mates (Pat & Mai). This means I, personally, not only can’t rely on an HEA but (as someone who also does not believe in soulmates) I am not entirely sure I even WANT an HEA. This has NEVER happened to me before. It makes me uncomfortable because that’s a core part of my identify with these shows. I mean, good job La Pluie, but also.... huh. Back to this ep: Uh oh. The crush is obvious and the soulmate knows what’s up now. The sex scene twist was v interesting, v gay, and v unusual in a BL. Unfortunately it’s still a BL so the faen fatal just HAD to appear. Will there ever be one out of Thailand where this trope doesn’t show up? Next week is the tried & true uke damsels off into the woods alone. Sigh. 

Our Skyy 2 (Bad Buddy & 1k*) eps 12-16fin - Jimmy, baby, why so hot in an engineering smock? Please have mercy. Aw, Marc is back in yet ANOTHER BL. Definitely the current record holder for most BLs at any one time. (His filming schedule must’ve been insane at the beginning of this year!) PatPran are still great, and their eps this had me hooting with laughter (startling the cat). I forgot how much I enjoyed this show and cast. (Ohm looks great with longer hair, but also he’s lost a lot of weight. I hope he’s OK.) OhmNanon give pitch perfect LTR energy. Throwing EarthMix into the, erm, mix is fun if awkward. NO SINGING. 2 damsels in the forest! Also PatPran = geniuses at mock fighting. So much flirting. It was all quite adorbs. But me-thinks Chief & Tian have been eating moonlight chicken. Full review below. 

Be My Favorite (Fri YouTube) ep 3 of 10? - was enjoying it up until the last bit, why so digusted by smooches? Bad GMMTV no green tea for you. Trash watch here! Rollercoaster about to go DOWWNNNN. 

Luminous Solution (Sat Gaga) ep 3 of 6 - I still only like the high school characters + Dome (WHY so gorgeous?). Is he a magical spirit too? Also, the subs were well off kilter. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Our Dining Table AKA Bokura no Shokutaku (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 10 fin - God they’re so cute. This show used the manga as a storyboard, so I knew the “crisis of faith over possibility of loss” would happen. Still in live action this felt tonally off. While understandable given Yutaka’s character, and ultimately particularly important for the dad and a relationship with the family, I don’t know we needed it in this BL. The book does have a better ending second scene, but it wouldn’t be possible to do it on screen easily. Ultimately, this show had a simple, touching, quiet end to it. That’s very like the show as a whole. I did love it - it’s been top of my list all along. Full review after the special airs. 

Love Tractor (Korea Weds iQIYI) eps 1-2 of 8 - I LOVE IT SO MUCH. IT IS EVERYTHING. SHUT UP I AM FERRIL FOR THE BEAUTIFUL CITY BOY AND THE YOUNG FARMER. Come on. Korea. SRS? Plus some language play? I just go die now. 

Star Struck (Korea iQIYI & Gaga) ep 7-8 fin - Man this was a difficult show for me. I know we’re supposed to identify with HanJoon but I really felt for YooJae. I’ve been in his position more often than I care to count, and it’s terrible to lose a friend because they caught feelings and you did not. It’s an awful thing to hold a friendship hostage on condition of a romantic relationship. Especially if the other person is not sexually interested in you! All that said, the boyfriend ep was okay. Not sure I believed in this relationship, but it was cute enough. The final ep was (how do I put this?) a loser. We spent a lot of time with terrible home lives and then a semi happy for now final scene? Whatever. Full review below. 

Vian the series (Vietnam YouTube ) ep 6 of 12 - somehow I keep missing this one, I’ll catch it next week. 

Naked Dinner AKA Zenra Meshi (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 9 of 12 - I think the Taiwanese boss is my favorite character. Japan rarely (if ever ) trots out the faen fatal trope. I mean I named it with a Thai word for a reason, it’s not from origin yaoi at all. Yet still there she is. Sigh. This show. 

Stupid Genius (Vietnam Fri YouTube) ep 1 of 6 - RL Studio (Stupid Boys Stupid Love) bringing us yet another high school set VBL. It’s actually not bad. I see a lot of common faces whom I’ve enjoyed in past VBLs. 

It’s Airing But ...

House of Stars (Thai Mon iQIYI) 12 eps - I bounced at ep 3. Will binge if told it is worth it at end.

Stay (Pinoy YouTube) 7 eps - It’s mostly in English and set in LA so I’m not bothering but the first one did drop.

Ever After (Pinoy ????) - I got nothing. 

Takumi-kun Series 6: Nagai Nagai Monogatari no Hajimari no Asa (Japan Sun ????) 10 eps - NO ONE ASKED FOR THIS and no, I have no idea where to get it, why would I? (Say it with me everyone: Oh Japan, must you?*)

Boys Love Omegaverse (Japan ????) - honestly tho? Who tf cares? You’ll still tell me if you find it, because inquiring minds... Irony of this airing at the same time as Takumi-kun. Full circle much, Japan? 

Tin Tem Jai Special (Thai ????) - honestly I checked Gaga & iQiyi in my territory (craptastic hotel) and neither had it listed so I quickly gave up. I mean OF COURSE I WOULD LIKE TO SEE Lee Long Shi in a bathtub, who wouldn’t? But... 

Just because I didn’t watch the special doesn’t mean I can’t gank Lee Long Shi wearing nothing but soap bubbles for you. 

I’m not a monster. 

Ended This Week 

Our Skyy 2 final 4 eps thoughts: This was an interesting combination, and don’t get me wrong I very much enjoyed it, but it felt like the story was carried by PatPran’s characters while the setting and narrative followed an ATOTS arc - ultimately disjointed. OhmNanon are so bold and vibrant they’re too stark a tonal contrast to EarthMix’s more refined and elegant approach, so for me the screen presences and the style of story clashed. It was like a bouquet made up of tulips & roses: they are both flowers and they’re both pretty, but I feel like they actually belong in different vases. Still, enjoyable. And I got a crying kiss. Always makes me happy. Definitely the best of this bunch, and probably the best Our Skyy (and I genuinely loved both the NLMG historical installment and SOTUS.) 8/10 

Star Struck. A friends to lovers story that felt more friends to tolerant yet disinterested partner. It was more about challenges with parents and class strife. I would’ve been disappointed if the show hadn’t come out of nowhere so I had no expectations. But as KBLs go, don’t bother. 6/10 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting:

6/15 Tokyo in April AKA Shigatsu no Tokyo wa (Japan Gaga) 8 eps - Based on a yaoi, this is a reunion romance that takes place in an office. Japan does Our Dating Sim? Yes please.

Still Coming - June 2023

6/22 About Us but Not About Us (Pinoy movie from 2022 on Prime) - A professor grieving the loss of his partner meets an ambitious literature student.

6/24 Why You (Khmer BL ????) - Billed as a horror romance, not sure if this is a movie or a series where it will air... nothing except that it exists.

6/24 Tie The Knot AKA Under the Same Sky (Pinoy movie on Prime) Trailer - I guess Prime is coming for our Pinoy BL? From OXIN Films (Rainbow Prince), announced for 2022 based on a true story, Briggs's family runs a bridal business but he has never had a chance to fall in love until he meets Shao, a groom to be.

6/25 Dinosaur Love (Thai iQIYI) Trailer 5 eps - from Ultimate Troop about a uni student, Rak, whose partner cheats on him with Rak's best friend. This gives bad boy hazer Dino an opportunity to hit on Rak at last. From The Yearbook people so I will not watch this as it airs. After Remember Me? Never again with them.

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Bruce is so damn fantastic in this show.

Consent comes in all different forms. (both Step by Step) 

Fight fight fight!

Sex sex sex blow job! (both La Pluie) 

Smartest boy in the show. 

Not enough InkPa... never enough. Never never never! 

Love the suit.

All from the Our Skyy 2 BB + ATOTS cross over. 

(last week)

Current Kpop earworm? IVE’s I Am

[peachandpinwheel]

I have ADHD and a history of disordered eating and weight loss behaviours, so I struggle with both exercise and exercise culture.

Alas, I am now in my 30s, and if I don’t move my body with some regularity, it impacts my neck, my back, my digestion and my anxiety.

This year I’ve been working on finding ways around the barriers to exercise for me (in short: it’s boring, it takes too long, it’s a sensory nightmare) and I thought I’d share some of what I’ve learnt in case it helps anyone.

So for people who struggle to exercise regularly for various reasons, I offer some encouraging literature from actual peer-reviewed science:

Limitations to your movement or energy? Static stretching can stimulate muscle growth

Struggling with the dreaded 10,000 steps? It’s an arbitrary figure. Yes, walking more and walking regularly is good for you, but getting just 4000 steps a day can lower your mortality risk.

Struggling to find time for cardio? 5 minutes of running a day at any speed reduces risk of cardiovascular disease and mortality

Struggling to workout regularly? One 20 minute resistance session a week sees results for many people - 1 set done to failure, for 6 exercises, and you’re done. 

(You can choose your own adventure on the exercises based on your needs or goals, but the original paper recommends multi-joint movements that occur in daily life such as pulling, pushing, and walking-motions for the most holistic benefits.)

(Side bar: the same paper also notes that if you have previously done training but stopped, you’ll likely get those muscles back quicker on return because your neural pathways are already built. Time spent is never wasted!)

There’s actually a company that specializes in training you this way (I can’t speak for them as they’re not in my country, but I like the concept - workouts are designed to be sweat free, done in street clothes, 20 minutes a week).

And of course, a standard Tumblr plug for Everyday Calisthenics, for short daily workouts you can do at home and adjust to your abilities.

If you’re struggling mentally with exercise, I found No Sweat by Michelle Segar (free audiobook on Spotify Premium) really helpful (though I will caution it does include some occasional references to losing weight that could be triggering).

The focus of this book is the idea that exercise doesn’t have to look or feel a certain way. All movement is good movement, and only enjoyable movement is sustainable in the long term. It’s just as meaningful to dance to your favourite song for 3 minutes as it is to go for a 1 hour boxing session, if that’s the way you enjoy moving.

If you have any further recommendations, please don't hesitate to add!

[ratteni-da-rotten]

A Mouse Among Owls? - Chapter 01

Fandom: Murder Drones

Warnings: Background Character Death, accidental baby acquisition

Characters (so far): Serial Designation V, Uzi Doorman

┈┈┈┈

A vibrant yellow cross stared at the small thing on the floor. The feathered beast’s head tilted slightly to the side trying to figure out what it was. She felt her tail gently swishing behind, disturbing the ever-so-frigid snow. Serial Designation V’s thermal sensors detected heat emanating from it, the object’s red-yellow-green colours contrasted against a sea of blue.

Pained and terrified cries were still echoing near her. Their source was a worker who was in the process of dying. The disassembler lacked any care for its pathetic whimpering. In her opinion, their suffering made great background music. Maybe she would record it and add it to her internal audio collection folders so she could listen to it during boredom spells.

There was no need for pity; the gashes inflicted on the lesser drone’s chassis would make it soon go into FATAL ERROR by oil loss. At least, it wouldn’t be a lonely death since the rogue machine would join their fallen peers around them. Dark liquid haphazardly painted the cold surroundings, its tantalising smell as if seducing the killer angel for a taste.

No need to rush things, the workers wouldn’t return to life and flee nor would the winged lass allow any other rival disassembler to steal her sweet spoils. Normally, V would be playing and taunting with the remaining worker on its deathbed but her focus remained on the mysterious item. By reviewing her recent memory files, the metallic beast recalled it had been thrown near her feet when she dove from the sky and attacked the wandering group of toasters.

Perhaps it had been a distraction attempt? SD - V doubted the workers were smart enough for that, they were nothing more than mindless machinery. Maybe their rudimentary AI had come up with the conclusion that less weight meant it could run away faster.

The interesting oval-shaped object was wrapped by a purple and white rabbit-themed blanket, what was once snug around the thing now had noticeably loosed but still concealed the small hidden item’s identity.

She kneeled and leaned forward, both clawed hands on the snowy ground, as if essentially cornering the motionless mystery would improve the inspection. Carefully, a finger-blade lightly tapped the fabric only to feel something solid underneath. V licked her chops and removed the blanket just enough to reveal its contents.

It was like her servos had frozen; even Serial Designation V’s tail stopped dead in the air. Neon purple eyes, hollow and shaking, adorned with stress lines, stared back at her. The stare remained locked into each other’s visors until the nearby sound of sobs stole the smaller robot’s attention. Mangled worker drone carcasses were on full display, and the twin moons’ tender light made their spilt oil gleam beautifully. One had yet to pass away, its off-putting sounds worsening the situation tenfold.

A strangled whine escaped the pill baby’s voicebox, momentarily restraining itself, before scaling into full grating wailing. V’s stringy tail lowered to the ground and curled up around one of her pointy legs, the toxic yellow cross on her visor quickly was replaced by normal drone eyes. The disassembly machine had an unreadable facial expression, her body was as still as a statue except for her quivering claws.

“Shit shit shit shitshitshit,” were the words the murder bot gal started to scream within the confines of her mind. Mind, core, and code began to caterwaul against each other as if trying to bend the rivalling wants to its will by being the loudest.

Drones like her were made to adapt to every environment and situation with the sole goal of completing their mission. Yet this scenario was new; she had no prior experience, and the expected outcome would surely leave a bitter taste in her jaws. What was she supposed to do when every part of her was in conflict?

Serial Designation V’s gaze briefly wandered to the suffering, bleeding, worker not far from them. Its suffering was finally reaching the end, the rogue machine would be of no help if it was dead. The untrained neural network wouldn’t last long if V allowed them to “flee” together, other predatory robots would be attracted by the dark sweet liquid leaking from their wounds. She doubted the thing would even make it very far, a few metres and the drone would undoubtedly collapse back on the polar desert’s cold surface.

“Maybe… maybe I could just leave it he–”, the usually fierce disassembly machine shook her head. Starvation would claim the tiny aluminium infant, a drawn-out demise if not found by others, and terribly agonising for a being who isn’t familiar with neglected hunger pangs. Stabbing through its CPU would be quicker and, hopefully, less painful. Furthermore, it was unlikely another disassembler would terminate the thing if they stumbled on it. “Too little oil, not worth the effort,” they would probably think to themselves.

V lifted a single, trembling, sharp blade ready to spear through the artificial baby’s visor. Seconds passed by, the deadly claws hovering over its smaller form, and she couldn’t compel herself to do what was supposed to be her job. The ferocious hunter, the one who enjoyed prolonging her prey’s misery and experimenting with how much damage it could sustain before permanently shutting down, was reluctant to tear a UNN to shreds. If other squads became aware of this, they would surely crack up at this fact.

Poor thing was crying its speakers out, scrunched LED eyes, wiggling erratically on the ground. So utterly defenceless, they couldn’t even try to turn tail as it lacked any limbs, under the claws of an oilfeeder. Looking closely at the thing, it resembled the– Nope, not thinking about that right now!

No living being stays young forever, untrained neural networks get older and moult from their infantile shape. When this one achieved the milestone, it would die by her claws or by her teammates. And if the pill drone died before that due to someone else’s actions, that would still be alright. V will turn a blind eye, as long it isn’t her fault.

SD - V swapped her claws back to her ordinary hands and gingerly cradled the robot infant close to her chest. The embrace was warm, so different from Copper-9’s freezing winds. For that moment the taller being’s fans were audible to the pill drone, the proximity allowed so. Her cries decreased in intensity, the gentle back rubbing and the ceasing of death gurgles lulled the tiny one into quietness. Bawling took a toll on the pill baby, making it enter SLEEP MODE. Dormant in a monster’s arms, killer of her kind, it was comforting nonetheless.

[jessthetea]

This latest photo of Jess is troubling. To me, she looks even thinner than usual. Her upper arms are like twigs. Maybe her being stressed out has worsened her eating habits.

Indeed, it does appear she’s shed a significant amount of weight—truly an alarming amount, if I may say so. While I’m certainly not the most fervent supporter of Jess, that doesn’t mean I would ever wish her any harm or ill-health. Her appearance now is rather peculiar; with her current frailty, her head looks disproportionately large, almost as though it’s swollen. Her entire figure seems out of proportion.

One can’t help but suspect she’s under a great deal of stress, and it wouldn’t be far-fetched to attribute this to a breakup. Such a situation might also explain why those old photographs have surfaced. It’s been frequently mentioned that Jess would never openly acknowledge a breakup, and Jamie is equally unlikely to make any such admission. I suspect Jess will cling to this façade for as long as possible, waiting for Jamie to either say or do something that makes it abundantly clear that he's moved on—whether that be by stating he’s single or being spotted with someone new.

The unfortunate truth is that Jess’s primary claim to relevance, at least as far as she’d like us all to believe, is this tenuous relationship with Jamie, which, frankly, no longer seems to exist. She must be in a state of utter distress, knowing that people have caught on and are openly discussing it. The last image we saw of her before this most recent one was of her on the beach with that surfboard, wearing that rather scandalous thong bikini, and that wasn’t too long ago. Upon reviewing it, she looks noticeably thinner in that shot as well, though the angle and filter obscure it somewhat.

Interestingly, she appeared quite fine in the photos she posted back in June, so it seems this drastic weight loss has occurred in a very short span, which, needless to say, is hardly healthy—particularly when factoring in her apparent drinking habits. One wonders what might have triggered such a sudden change, aside from her possible troubles with Jamie, or perhaps the fact that she’s drowning in debt for reasons beyond comprehension. I rather think we’ll learn more soon enough, as Jess is hardly the demure little flower her staunchest fans would like to imagine.

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

🦇 Playing for Keeps Book Review 🦇

❓ #QOTD Soccer or baseball? ❓ 🦇 A baseball pitcher and umpire definitely aren't supposed to fall for each other, right? Especially not when star pitcher June and officiate-to-be Ivy are trying to go pro. Sometimes, life throws you a curveball, though. When Ivy is assigned as an umpire for June's elite club baseball team, they instantly clash on the field, only to find they have something in common: grief. Soon, they become enemies to friends to far more, despite the rules that prohibit them from dating each other. Will romance get in the way of them following their dreams?

💜 On the surface, Playing for Keeps seems like a fun, sweet young adult sapphic romance. The initial set-up gives us sharp, bittersweet enemies to lovers potential between a pitch and an umpire. Seems cute and fluffy, right? No one is that one-dimensional, though. Both Ivy and June are struggling with the loss of a loved one, balancing that on top of unrealistic expectations from their parents and the pressures they put on themselves to succeed. Add in the pressure you get from sports alone and it's enough to make anyone crumble. Ivy and June find happiness in each other, through stolen moments as they date in secret, wary that the conflict of interest between them will tear them apart. There's a potential for them to heal through one another, alongside one another, while learning how to navigate the external forces of loss while growing up.

💜 I loved that both Ivy and June were pursuing career paths that don't often make space for women. I would have liked to see more focus on that, though. It was sweet to see how the male players on the baseball team were quick to support June, but I expected to see more kickback (either from her team or other teams) to show (not tell us) how she struggled and still persevered.

💙 Unfortunately, the story is so rushed, so many scenes time-jumped, emotions mentioned but not illustrated, that you don't FEEL anything while reading this story. With the topic of grief, whether a character is processing it or trying to avoid it, readers should have an easy time sympathizing with the characters. Instead, the grief feels like a plot point, a reason for potential enemies to connect and eventually become more.

💙 Even with little jumps, the story lagged. Dugan has a tendency to pair selfless characters with less reasonable counterparts, which we certainly see between Ivy and June. Given that, it's difficult to root for both girls. Yes, they're both grieving, and yes, they both deserve happiness, but their actions are exhausting and (yes, I know it's YA) juvenile at times. Though the two girls had so much in common, the miscommunication trope constantly tugged them in opposite directions.

🦇 Recommended for fans of Some Girls Do, Home Field Advantage, and Cool for the Summer.

✨ The Vibes ✨ ⚾ Enemies to Lovers ⚾ Young Adult Romance ⚾ Sapphic Romance ⚾ Forbidden Love ⚾ Lesbian & Bi FMCs ⚾ Sports Romance ⚾ Grief ⚾ Pressure From Parents ⚾ Miscommunication

💬 Quotes ❝ Expecting it means I can prepare for it, plan for it, and figure out a way to keep my cool in its face. What I didn’t expect, though, was for there to be an extremely attractive girl throwing balls at about seventy-five billion miles per hour, striking out dumb boys left and right, like some kind of varsity, all-star Black Widow. ❞ ❝ There’s a lot of pressure on girls to conform, to become nice women, to do what’s expected. Smile more, whiten your teeth, lose the weight, don’t be too loud or too funny or too much. Make yourself less so the boys can feel like more. Don’t wear spaghetti straps or you might tempt them. Hold yourself accountable for the both of you, so they don’t have to. ❞

[kickthecan-revolution]

This was a monster week. I’m feeling pretty on track but there’s always so much I could be doing, should be doing, it’s hard to turn it off. When you work in retail, scheduling is kind of a mystery to a lot of the corporate people but I am familiar with it, and I am very familiar with the length of time needed for international scheduling. It’s one of those rabbit holes of complexity that people just kind of back away from because it’s hard to understand. Ultimately, it meant that we had to have a decision about some publishing that’s very controversial by end of next week to be able to make a scheduling window. It meant that I had to stay up very late on Wednesday and pull together a presentation for a person at my company who is a notorious bully, I met with them two weeks ago to review this proposal, and they immediately dismissed it. So now my supervisor on this new project Was going to be at the meeting but he’s leaving for vacation on Friday so we had to get it done and this presentation had to show the detail in a way that she couldn’t say no. I’m not sure how I did it but I did figure out a way of creating a view where it almost was impossible for her to say no, so now she needs to escalate it to her leadership but I think it’s a done deal.

After that, I think my body had a little bit of a breakdown. She’s one of the few – if honestly only one – of the most abusive people in my company. We just don’t tolerate that shit but for some reason people tolerate it with her I’m so over it, I’m going to file an HR escalation on her for her abusive and manipulative. Ways of behaving. I’m tired of it. I’m done letting these people have so much power.

I’m down about 4 pounds, which I realizes a lot in a week. I’ve somehow started craving jicama, so eat a ton of it which is likely slowing down my weight loss a little bit but whatever, it’s better than chips. I do notice that towards the end of the week, some of the emotional craving for food comes back, particularly when I’m exhausted, the brain is such a fascinating thing and I’m not surprised that those neural paths pop right back up again when the medicine wears off. It makes me think of the healing that needs to happen underneath this process. It will happen.

[hekateinhell]

Would you ever write more about trans!Armand and his three boyfs having fun? 🥺 Yes I might be a bit hinting on something but... you know... you write it so well... 🥺

I would! I just don't know when, things shift around on my fic writing to-do list so much 😭

but I feel bad because I did say I was gonna write it months ago and then I DIDN'T so here's a snippet from what I have languishing in the google gocs that's set in the same AU! mostly armand ruminating on his changing body and the challenges it brings in the bedroom (nsfw) this is supposed to be leading to the gangbang eventually:

He shuts the bedroom door gently and deposits the little white bag on the bed. Armand still hasn't fully settled into the new place – it's home, but it's fragile, tentative – he needs to be careful. 

He starts from the bottom up. Stripping socks, pants, underwear. There's always been a peculiar distinction to him between outside clothes and inside clothes. Everything has to change, even the underwear. Next is the sweater, then the undershirt. 

Finally comes the binder. 

Black and sturdy, it binds all the way down to his belly button, compressing his chest entirely. 

He's lucky, he supposes. Armand's chest – like most of him – had always been on the smaller end of the spectrum. Each side is large enough that Lestat's palms can cover them completely and not much more. 

Still, he craves the illusion of total flatness that a binder provides, and as much as it's nice to shed it and allow his body to relax fully, it always hits him with an initial sense of loss. 

Armand hasn't quite figured out which size and brand works best, and a quality binder is a rather expensive purchase. This one, one of two he has, is a bit too tight and always leaves his chest and sides sore from where it has been pressing down into his tender skin. If anyone else were home, Armand might curl up and ask for a quick massage that would inevitably lead to kissing and fooling around. Later, perhaps. 

Besides, it's good that he has the place to himself, a rare moment of privacy that's hard to come by when four men share a one-bedroom apartment. 

He rubs at his chest absentmindedly for a moment before turning to the dresser. Slips on a fresh pair of briefs and then wonders why he did it – they're about to come off again in a minute. Skips the neatly folded t-shirts in his drawer in favor of the ratty gray sweatshirt stuffed into Daniel's drawer. 

The length hits Armand precisely above his knees, the fabric slipping off to expose his shoulder. He loves wearing their things: Daniel's sweatshirts, Lestat's band tees, Louis's collared shirts – he would wear their pants too if they didn't just fall off him entirely. 

Armand never asks, and nobody seems to mind. 

There's something extraordinarily soothing about disappearing into his lovers' clothes, the feel of each material holding a different association, drowning in their scents whenever he craves that particular comfort. 

Comfort that Armand could use. 

He takes a deep breath and drops onto the bed before reaching into the bag, pulling out the boxed set of dilators, holding it at arm's length, turning it over gingerly as if it has already personally offended him.  

Better to get this over with. 

Made quick work of the packing and did a cursory review of the instructions – nothing that the sweet salesperson hadn't already gone over with him while Armand had stood there, awkwardly shifting his weight from one side to the other, trying his hardest not to blush and failing spectacularly. 

Five purple cylinders, each with a different length and girth, starting small and gradually increasing in both measures. 

Armand's heartbeat picks up, and his throat feels achingly dry. 

It's not arousal; in fact, he's the opposite of turned on right now. His body knows this is going to be uncomfortable to start with, at best. Interesting how drastically his pain threshold drops when it wasn't tied directly to intimacy, to someone he loves inflicting it on him. And not in a bad way, no, it's just that he'd begged for sex before, even when it physically hurt — he'd delighted in the aches and the stings and in attributing each one to a particular lover. 

But this? Using these tools regularly on himself in the hope that he could retrain his front hole to regain its elasticity? 

It's been a while since anyone had managed to work more than two fingers inside before insisting he was 'too tight, there's no give'; Armand would 'get hurt.' 

Simply put, this was a source of intimacy Armand isn't yet willing to concede. He is stubborn, if nothing else. It's not enough to have his hole touched or for Lestat, Louis, or Daniel to rub against him and press their tip to his hole to ensure some cum made it in. 

[ketoandme]

Gary Taubes came to prominence back in 2000 with a pathbreaking article in the New York Times Magazine reviewing the evidence about obesity and weight loss that challenged the still-prevailing-today wisdom. It was widely reviled and rejected in the medical and public health expert communities - by everyone, pretty much, except for those who had been utterly desperate to lose weight and keep it off.

I was one of those people who - well, I guess I'd say, in the context of this Tumblr blog and the zillions of girls here who have embraced precisely the mindset they have been taught by health and wellness classes, doctors, etc. - the belief that gaining or losing weight is simply calories eaten versus calories burned. And taught and internalized that your inability to lose weight, yours and mine both, was due to lack of willpower and self discipline. Eat less, move more … exhortations proffered by the experts to the masses even as obesity, type 2 diabetes, all the conditions now called metabolic syndrome, exploded in the population.

That article and Taubes' later books offered an alternative and scientifically persuasive, imao, shift in understanding the science of weight gain and loss, for me and increasingly for millions of failed dieters who ditched calories in / calories out model of obesity - understanding that the human body is not a “bomb calorimeter,” burning food to ash to determine heat generated. What the body does with food depends in the first place on the type of macronutrient - carbs, fats, and protein - and the mind boggling complex metabolic biochemistry that governs how they are processed, used, and stored. The most important part of that story, for most people looking to lose weight, is the hormone insulin, and how it essentially directs what happens to carbohydrates in the body.

A key takeaway for the girls here wanting to stop being obese is that insulin, which is stimulated by carbs being eaten, digested, and entering the bloodstream, will have the net effect of locking up that glucose rather than burning it as fuel, and keeping the fat already in the body that ought to be available to burn as fuel, locked up so that it can’t be burned. When I used to go on calorie restriction diets, I felt like I was hungry - starving - all the time.

Taubes and other metabolic scientists helped me understand that this wasn’t psychology or gluttony - my sense of starvation and ravenous hunger was real because I lacked access to the body’s energy stored as fat. It’s what has come to be called the carbohydrate-insulin (resistance) model of obesity versus the calories in / calories out model. The insulin closes off access to your fat to serve as energy - and, yes, you’re ravenous because you don’t have access to energy. And you won’t lose much weight permanently that way, because you can’t really lose weight if you aren’t burning off fat, and insulin in the metabolic pathway makes that very hard.

But science has marched on, and the science of metabolism has started to figure out something long suspected - that ordinary table sugar, sucrose, has unique properties beyond being the most highly digestible carbohydrate. Consisting of glucose and fructose chemically joined, the fructose half of table sugar has uniquely deleterious effects in the body. It’s probably pretty accurate to say that fructose is, all things equal, the most fattening molecule in the mammalian diet. Consumed not as whole fruit with fiber, but instead as sweetened beverages - not just soft drinks, but also as liquid fruit juices - it is a huge “obesogen.”

The biochemical and metabolic role of sugar in the body, as well as sugar’s social, cultural, and economic role in global obesity and metabolic disease, is the topic of “The Case Against Sugar.” The book goes deep into the metabolic science, but the takeaways are pretty clear, even if you’re a high school student and even if you hate math or science.