#Festive Films and Food Pairings

[justsaying4041]

Favorite Holiday Movies and Where to Find Them, Paired With an Inexpensive Holiday Feast

The holiday season brings together two universal joys: the nostalgia of watching beloved holiday movies and the warmth of sharing a comforting meal. Why not combine the two into an inexpensive yet satisfying experience? Below, we explore how to create a cozy holiday evening with a budget-friendly meal to accompany your favorite seasonal films. The Perfect Inexpensive Holiday Feast: Shepherd’s…

[no-144444]

The Holidate (2020) - Lando Norris

‧₊˚🎄✩ ₊˚🦌⊹♡‧₊˚🎄✩ ₊˚🦌⊹♡‧₊˚🎄✩ ₊˚🦌⊹♡

‧₊˚🎄✩ ₊˚🦌⊹♡‧₊˚🎄✩ ₊˚🦌⊹♡‧₊˚🎄✩ ₊˚🦌⊹♡

summary: Y/n, who gets mocked for being single, finds the perfect solution when she meets Lando, an F1 driver. Now she has the perfect date for her holidays, but her heart starts yearning for something more.

pairing: lando norris x fem! reader

8.8k words

disclaimer: i do not own anything in these films, the only original character is the character y/n.

‧₊˚🎄✩ ₊˚🦌⊹♡‧₊˚🎄✩ ₊˚🦌⊹♡‧₊˚🎄✩ ₊˚🦌⊹♡

You stood outside your perfect family home, a cigarette in hand. “Fucking holidays,” you sighed. Quickly grabbing some tic tacs from your bag and putting out your cigarette. You covered your tracks and stood in front of the door, willing yourself not to run away. The house was the image of suburbia and the nuclear family bullshit you were used to, the shit you grew up with and believed until you realised that men weren’t shit and you had to go focus on a career if you wanted to live in Chicago. 

“Happy holidays,” you faked a smile as you opened the door, your mother running up to you with a disappointed look. 

“This is what you’re wearing to Christmas dinner? Don’t you own a dress?” you scolded, and you rolled your eyes. 

“I’m great. Thanks for asking mom,” you sighed, following her into the house while taking off your coat. 

“Y/n!” your sister, Abby, cheered. “You’re here!” She pulled you away from your mother, who was busy complaining about something or other, and brought you close. “Mike said you didn’t call him back.”

“Yeah, I didn’t,” you shrugged. She gave you a stern look. “What? I can’t date a professional clown! I’d never sleep again.”

“Well, you need to date someone! It’s been months,” she complained. 

“Well, no one wants to date someone who lays around in their pyjamas all day,” your mother added. 

“It’s called being a remote worker, mom, and, it’s not like my boss cares,” you scoffed. 

“Are you smoking?” she asked, sniffing you feverishly.

“No mom, I’m not smoking,” you answered, your tone dry and robotic. You gently pushed her off.

“Because no man wants to marry a smoker,” she barked. 

“Good thing I’m not smoking anymore,” you lied. 

“No one wants to marry a smoker,” she instilled. 

“But you-”

“A smoker who lies,” she added, knowing how you’d caught her out. 

As the night went on, in came your brother and his girlfriend, your aunt (with a random guy she’d met the day before), and your brother-in-law with his gaggle of hell-spawn children. 

You watched as the festivities played on, your aunt all over her new man, you sister battling with the drink in her hand while her husband battled their children from shitting in the manger again, and you brother being over-attentive to his girlfriend. Sometimes you pity them. They have to take care of someone all the time, they always have someone there for them, someone to come home to every night, someone to wake up beside every day, it must be exhausting. 

You stood beside your aunt in the kitchen, escaping the happy couples and watching as her new boy gobbled at the food. 

“Isn’t he great?” she giggled. 

You grimaced. “Yeah.”

“Oh come on, it’s not like I’m planning on marrying him, he’s just my holidate,” she brushed off your concern. 

“A ‘holidate’?” you questioned. 

“Yeah, a holidate, y’know a date solely for the holiday,” she explained it like it was the most normal and regular thing in the world. “No commitment.”

“Y/n, I have a friend who wants to meet you!” your brother, James, called from the other room. You rolled your eyes. 

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As you sat at the (kids) dinner table, you were busy getting relationship advice from your 8 year old niece. That had to be a new low. She had a boyfriend, and you didn’t. Could your life get more pathetic?

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You all sat around in the living room, opening presents. Your sister got you pyjamas, two sizes too big. Your brother got you pyjamas, three sizes too big, and your parents got you, you guessed it!- pyjamas. At least those were the actual size. You faked as much enthusiasm as you could, and just smiled and nodded. How much worse could this Christmas get? 

As you all finished up opening gifts, your brother stood up, taking Liz’s hand. 

“Liz, I know it’s only been 3 months, and 6 incredible days, but I feel like I’ve known you my whole life. Will you marry me?” he asked, his voice full of excitement. 

“Yes!’ she cheered. “Yes, I’ll marry you!” 

Your heart dropped. Your little brother was getting married before you. You were finally cemented as the pathetic sibling, forever. 

Worst. Christmas. Ever. 

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Little did you know, that just a few blocks away, someone else was going through a harrowing Christmas date experience…

Lando walked up beside Mandy, a girl he’d just-so-happened to have met in a random club over the break. He hadn’t planned to come to Chicago, but he just-so-happened to have ended up there, on the basis of Quadrant meetings and deal negotiations being held there. He had gone on two dates with Mandy so far, one of them being the time they met in the club. He had no idea why he hadn’t just flown home to go see his family and siblings, maybe even see Mila and babysit for a while. 

“Your parents know this is our third date, right?” he asked as they stood on the front porch. 

“Of course they do!” she smiled brightly. “I’m not even sure I told them you were coming-”

His heart dropped as the door opened, and they immediately turned to him. 

“Lando!” her mother cheered. “He’s even more handsome than in the pictures!”

“Pictures?” he mumbled, his face dropping. Obviously, he knew people were going to know who he was, he was an F1 driver for fuck’s sake. But something about the way she said pictures made his stomach drop, and he wasn’t sure if she meant pictures that Mandy had taken of him (he never posed for any), or the ones online. Something told him it was the first option, and he felt sick. 

Then ensued a night of pure agony, he was buried in baby photos, old trophies, and a look into this random girls’ life. As he stood in her childhood bedroom, he truthfully asked himself. “Fuck am I?” and groaned when he was called down to dinner. 

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After dinner, he went back up to Maisie’s room- or was her name Mandy? Anyways, to talk about the awful night. 

“What is going on?” he questioned, whisper-shouting.

“My parents fucking love you,” she smirked, pressing her lips to his. 

“What the fuck?” he asked again as she pushed him down on the bed, stripping herself. 

“Come on, y’know you like me,” she smirked, a sultry look in her eye. “You wouldn’t be here on a major holiday if you didn’t.”

“I already explained that I’m here for business purposes and-” 

She started kissing him, and he stopped caring about the strangeness of the situation when she started unzipping his trousers. 

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He sat sandwiched between her parents, matching ugly Christmas sweater on, opening a box full of… swimming trunks?

“Swimming togs… thanks,” he faked as much enthusiasm as he could as they all nodded. 

“They’re skin-tight too, since it makes you go faster in the water,” Mandy explained, a bright smile on her face. 

“Togs, and a project, thanks,” he smiled, trying his best to charm his way out of it all. 

She held out her hands, expecting a present from him and his heart stopped. 

“Me next!” she cheered. 

“You said we weren’t doing presents this year,” he said, feeling the eyes of her parents on him. 

“Pardon?” she questioned, her eyes dangerous. “So you know me well enough to cum in my mouth,”

He looked at her parents and shook his head as she continued. “But not well enough to get me a Christmas gift? Are you shitting me?”

“W-what-” he stuttered before getting up. “Y’know what,” he turned to her parents. “Thank you for the lovely dinner, happy Christmas,” he turned to her. “Maisie, don’t call me again!”

“Mandy,” she corrected, tears in her eyes. “It’s Mandy you asshole.”

“Great, Mandy, then,” he scoffed before starting to walk to the door, then he remembered the ugly christmas sweater he was wearing, and off it came. He threw it to Mandy, and walked out the door.  

Worst. Christmas. Ever. 

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You stand behind some British guy (who you swear you know from somewhere) in the sluggish queue of a random men's department store. 

Said British guy is busy fighting with the sales clerk to take his strange swimming togs back, and you’ve had enough of it. 

“Hey, Cockney, we’ve all been waiting for ages, some of us have jobs,” you scoffed. 

“I’m actually from Bristol,” he rolled his eyes. “And what makes you think I don’t have a job.”

“You’re in the mall on a Wednesday,” quickly, you brought the two pairs of pyjamas that don’t fit you to the front. “I’d like to return these.”

“Hey!” he scoffed. 

“Hey,” you smiled in return.

“I can only offer store credit,” the clerk smiled apologetically, and you sighed. 

“Seriously?” 

“Ha,” The Brit laughed. “That’s what you get.” 

“And sir, I can only offer you store credit as well.” 

“Ha!” you laughed. “That’s what you get.”

“I’ll give you 45 bucks for it all,” the girl behind you in line smiled at the both of you. “And this voucher for the pretzel stand.”

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You walked around the mall with the Brit, enjoying your pretzel. 

“So, how was your holiday season?” you asked, making polite conversation. 

“I spent my Christmas in an ugly Christmas sweater, a strange dinner, and being with people who I think might’ve been in a cult,” he nodded. 

“Well, I'll take your ugly sweater, and raise you a seat at the kids table, my little brother getting engaged, and my mother constantly asking me to date one of her many friends' sons,” you listed. “You sure you don’t want any?” you offered him some pretzel.

“Do you know what that does to your body?” he asked. 

“Oh,” you grimaced. “You’re one of those guys.” 

“What does that mean?” he scoffed. 

“It means you’re the kind of guy to take a billion vitamins a day and talks about your micros and macros,” you laughed. Then you caught sight of the guy your aunt brought to Christmas dinner. “Shit,” you cursed, hiding behind the Brit. 

“What?” he laughed. 

“You see the mall Santa over there?” you asked. He nodded. “That’s the guy my aunt brought home for Christmas dinner, hide me,” you begged, and he walked on with you behind him, hiding you. 

“Who is he anyway?” he asked. 

“Oh, it wasn’t serious,” you chuckled. “He was her Holidate.”

“Holidate?” he questioned. 

“It’s just a person you pick up to spend Christmas with,” you shrugged. “It’s dumb, I know.”

A light bulb went off in his head. “Just Christmas, or all holidays?”

“All of ‘em,” you nodded. “I mean, I guess it’s pretty genius when you actually think about it.”

“That’s exactly what I need for New Year’s, a Holidate!”

You chuckled. “Sorry, pretty sure my aunt is already booked up-”

“No, I’m serious, I am done casually dating on the holidays! I don’t want to do it anymore, it’s exhausting. I always end up being an asshole in some sort of way or-”

“Really? Try being the only single person left in your family, at the age of 24. My little brother, who's 21, by the way, is getting married,” you scoffed. “I mean every time I see them it is a fucking palaver of sad glances and exhausting small talk about one of their ‘friends’. Why is everyone so suspicious of a happy, single woman?” 

“Because it’s obvious you’re not happy,” he said like it was obvious. “Was that a trick question?”

You sighed. “I am happy, thank you very much.”

He chuckled. “No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am.”

“Look, humans are meant to be with other people on the holidays, it’s just a fact! We all need warmth… companionship,” he could sense the fact that he was losing you. “And someone to drunk-mock people at parties with!”

“I do enjoy drunk-mocking people,” you pondered. 

“Perfect! We can be each other’s Holidate for New Year’s!” 

You chuckled, walking on. “Funny, I don’t even know you.” 

“That’s what makes it ideal! I don’t know you, you don’t know me! We aren’t expecting anything from each other, other than showing up to the date!”

“Sure…” you sighed. 

“And we’d never sleep with each other as well, it’s a win-win.”

You frowned, a quizzitive look on your face. “Why wouldn’t we sleep together?” He looked you up and down and grimaced. “Christ, calm down with the flattery asshole.”

“Not like that, it’s just you’re not my type,” he explained quickly. 

“Goodbye, or Cheerio, I guess. Since that’s what you say in Bristol,” you scoffed, walking off. 

“Come on, it’d be perfect! No more sad glances, no more kids' table seats. I have tickets to the Skyfall party, and I need a plus one,” he explained, following you. 

“Really?”

“Yeah,” he shrugged. 

“That’s such a good party,” you sighed, knowing for the years you’d gone to it before. 

“So say yes,” he smirked, knowing he was winning you over. “I just want to have a nice night and know that my date won’t go batshit if I don’t drop down on one knee at midnight with a ring with a quarter of a million pounds.”

“What makes you think I’m not batshit?” you smirked. 

He smiled. “You’re not.”

You smiled back. 

“I’m Lando, by the way.”

“Y/n.”

“Nice to meet you, Y/n, here is my number,” he smiled, handing you his business card. 

“Formula 1 driver and CEO,” you raised an eyebrow. “Do you drive for the orange team?”

“It’s papaya,” he rolled his eyes. “And yes, yes I do.” 

“Don’t girls like… throw themselves at you?”

He sighed. “Those are usually the batshit ones.”

You nodded. “Right.” 

“Just think about the party and text me,” he smiled. 

“I won’t be texting you, I’m more of a RedBull girl myself,” you smirked, walking off. 

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You sighed, thinking over the past new days. Your mom had tried (and failed) to get you to meet with her new neighbour, work was already beating you down, and you just needed some fun. Skyfall party it was. 

Lando, it was. 

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The party was already insane when you walked in, and you two fell into a steady rhythm of guessing peoples’ stories. 

“You look beautiful tonight,” he smiled. 

“Thanks,” you smiled. “That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“Your tits look amazing in that dress,” he smiled, and chuckled when you smiled. “This is great! I can say whatever I want, and I don’t have to worry whether you think I’m a classy guy or not.” 

“I can wear a slutty dress without being slut-shamed, win-win,” you agreed. 

As the night progressed, you found yourself slightly (*very much) drunk and sitting, talking about your awful love lives, and your deep-rooted hatred for the film Dirty Dancing. 

“He’s such a dick to her the entire film, and she has absolutely no self-respect!” you argued.

“But isn’t it romantic or something-?”

“No! It's pathetic that she’s sold as this head-strong, interesting girl who falls for the first guy she sees at a goddamn summer camp for families, likes him the entire time even though he treats her like shit, then gets excited in the end when he finally gives her a chance, because he ‘grew to love her’. It’s bullshit!”

“So who ruined rom coms for you?” he asked. You shook your head. 

“We’re not going there,” you sighed, taking another sip of your drink. 

“I think we’re already here,” he smiled. “You can tell me, I won’t tell anyone.”

“Luc,” you answered. 

“Christ, he sounds like a wanker,” he giggled. 

“He wasn’t,” you sighed. “He was handsome, intelligent, French.”

Lando scoffed. “What happened?”

“We just… needed different things,” you explained. “I wanted someone to take home for the holidays, he wanted to fuck a barista. It was a super mutual break-up,” you laughed. Lando didn’t. 

“Shit,” Lando cursed. “Ouch.”

“Well, to be fair, he was too good-looking to be trustworthy,” you sighed. “My sister always says to date-down. Then you’ll never get hurt. I gotta piss, I’ll be right back,” you said, then off you went. 

Lando watched as you left, his heart a little heavier than before. 

In the bathroom, a bride-to-be (well, they were getting engaged tonight, one of the many people you and Lando had profiled) was sobbing over a dress and you had decided to be the good person and switch with her, taking her number so she could give the dress back after she got it dry cleaned. 

You came back in a white ruffled dress with a very large red wine stain on it. You sighed. “Don’t even.”

“Did you get stabbed?” he chuckled. “Or is Carrie in now?”

“Shut up Lando,” you scoffed, dragging him onto the dance floor. 

If Lando was a good charmer, he certainly was a good dancer. You two danced along to the fast-paced, pop songs, but then came the slow set at about 10:30. ‘(I’ve Had) The Time Of My Life’ started playing, the spotlight blaring down on you two as the chords played. Your face dropped and he giggled uncontrollably. 

“Nobody puts Baby in a corner,” he cheekily smirked, taking your hand. 

The dance floor cleared off, watching as you two somehow pulled off the jump, only for him to drop you, because he was giggling so hard. 

“Nobody drops Baby on her head,” you reminded him as you two sat out of the dancing, trying to substitute your bruised egos (and bodies) with alcohol. 

“I’m going to go take a piss,” he sighed, getting up. 

Perfect timing. The countdown started just as he left, and you were left to watch all the happy couples french-kiss their way into the new year. You sighed. Had it been your worst date ever? No. Would you call him again? Probably not. You watched as people all around kissed and held the people they loved the most and you couldn’t help but feel… without. Sure, you liked how easy and painless being single was, but it was also lonely. For the first time in a while, you let yourself just feel lonely. It sucked. 

Then, Lando came running back, an apology on his lips. 

“Happy New Year Lando,” you smiled, not as enthused as earlier, but it would do. 

“Happy New Year,” he nodded, still sorry about missing it. He awkwardly kissed your cheek and you just accepted it, hoping next year would be slightly (extremely) different. 

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You two rode in the back of a cab, you looked out the window at the city going by, the streets you knew so well and-

“Tonight was fun,” he admitted. “I had a good time.”

“Not the worst night of my life,” you agreed.

“So… what are your Valentine’s plans?” he questioned. 

“You mean the holiday that’s in two whole months?” you chuckled. He nodded. “I don’t know! I don’t have plans yet.”

“Great, let’s make some!” he smiled. You frowned. “Come on, after that I’ll be busy until the summer! Let’s just go to a movie or something.”

“A lot can happen in two months, Lando,” you explained. “And if I don’t meet the love of my life by then, I have a tradition of buying chocolate and eating it. Alone.”

“Sure,” he shrugged. “If you change your mind, I’m here.”

“You can stay here then,” you scoffed. The taxi pulled up outside your apartment block, and back to your apartment you went, exhausted from the night. Happy New Year to you. 

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“No Valentine’s day date? What?” Liz cried. Agreeing to go wedding planning with her was a bad choice, noted. You were stuck in a bright, flowery, overly-scented room shop of fabrics, designs, and glassware, all of the shit you never thought you’d have to care about. 

“I’m not dying,” you sighed. “It’s a random Thursday where chocolate is either cheap and good, or expensive and good. I’ll enjoy a bath, and go to bed early. Sounds perfect to me.”

“You should call mom’s neighbour!” Liz suggested. “What’s his name?”

“No,” you sighed. “I am not going out with someone that my mother sets me up with.”

“But what about the wedding? You can’t be single at the wedding,” Liz sighed. 

“You mean the wedding that’s 8 whole months away?” 

“Exactly! What will you do?”

“I am more than happy to be single, I don’t have to share a bathroom, a bed, or a kitchen with a man,” you argued, and Liz nodded, kind of agreeing with your philosophy (your brother was a gross dude). “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve some chocolate to buy.”

As you walked to the chocolate shop in the mall, you couldn’t help but think of Lando. Maybe he’d gone off with some model, or some actress. Maybe he was in Ibiza right now partying the night away with his other famous friends. Or maybe he was right outside the shop, watching you see your ex and his fiance for the first time since the break up. 

Fuck. 

You stood, watching the two of them canoodle in front of you in line, and your heart sank slightly. Great. A model. 

“Y/n?” Luc questioned, turning to you. 

“Luc,” you faked as much enthusiasm as possible, just to keep your voice from breaking. 

“How have you been?” he asked.

“Good,” you smiled, trying to sound sure of yourself. “What about you?”

“Busy,” he chuckled. “Oh, this is Nicola, my fiancé!” He introduced you to the gorgeous woman next to him. She was basically you, same hair, eye colour, build, but if you put the tiktok beauty filter on you, and turned it up to 100. 

“Fiancé?” you gawked, pretending to sound excited. 

“Nicola,” she smiled, holding out her hand to be shaken. You took it shaking it.

“Hey baby,” Lando smiled, wrapping an arm around you as he pressed a kiss to your cheek, joining in beside you. “You get the stuff for the party?”

Luc and Nicola’s faces dropped in shock. 

“Yeah, babe,” you played along. “This is Lando, my boyfriend,” you turned to the two of them, smiling. 

“You didn’t tell me your college friends were in town,” he smiled. “How’s clowning going?” 

You held back a laugh, realising you had told him the story of the couple you’d met in your 3 days of clown college. It wasn’t for you, hence not being able to call your sisters’ clown friend back about a second date. 

“Oh, we’re not clowns,” she chuckled, trying to play it off as a joke.

“Oh gosh!” Lando faked embarrassment quite well. “I’m so sorry, I had no idea-”

“No, that’s alright,” Luc stopped him. “It’s lovely to you Lando-”

“Yeah, well, we’d better run, big plans tonight,” Lando interrupted, paying for your chocolate and taking your hand. “We have a flight to catch.”

“Where are you going?” Nicola questioned, but you were already being pulled out of the shop.

“Holy shit that was awful!” you cursed. “Why is it that the new girlfriend has to be younger and hotter?” 

“Here, drink this to calm yourself,” he handed you his drink, and you took a sip. 

Green juice, gross. 

“God, I’m going to be sick,” you sighed, dramatically sitting on one of the mall benches. 

“Well, usually the younger the girl, the less chance of commitment being an issue,” he explained. “Men think like that, at least, I think they do.”

“But you don’t?” you snarkily raised an eyebrow. He chuckled. 

“I try not to,” he giggled. “And anyways, it’s kind of a compliment anyways.”

“You're right!” you cheered. “Nicola is a cry for help.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Are you drunk?”

“Maybe,” you sighed. “Those Guinness truffle things are pretty strong. You want one?”

“No, I'm alright, thanks.”

You rolled your eyes. “Oh yeah, you’re a professional athlete.”

“Don’t say it like it’s a joke,” he scoffed. “I am.”

“You’re just being a pussy,” you shrugged. “Real athletes enjoy chocolate. Ask Lewis Hamilton.” 

“I can if you want me to,” he smirked. 

“I trust that my favourite driver enjoys chocolate, thanks though.”

“Lewis is your favourite?” he scoffed, turning to you. 

“I’m hardly going for the fucking papayas,” you chuckled. 

“Anyways, if I wasn’t such a pussy, you would still be in a fucking sweet shop talking to your ex-boyfriend and his new fiancé,” he smirked. “You’re welcome.”

“Thank you,” you replied. “I owe you one.”

“I will take my hand job in the car park, thank you very much,” he chuckled, obviously laughing. 

“A hand job?” you scoffed. “What are we? 15?”

“You were giving out hand jobs at 15?” 

“Most of us weren’t 3 feet tall at age 15,” you teased. 

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As the months went on, you blew through St. Patrick’s day and Easter, finding out about Lando’s heartbreak along the way. His ex-girlfriend Luisha and him had broken up over the simple reason of his fans hating her more than life itself. As the F1 season began, you stayed busy with work while he travelled and drove, and every now and then you’d text each other about your days, or call to catch up. 

It was nice, having someone to talk to. Lando didn’t judge you the way your family or friends did. He liked you for you, and you tolerated him for him.

The night of Cinco De Mayo came around the corner, and you had invited Lando to come to a random bar and get fucked up together. He’d just won Miami the day before, and he was riding high. You two danced, drank, and sang the night away, eventually waking up in your apartment. 

Waking up in your aparmtent, in only your bra and his boxers. 

“Fuck,” you whispered, the bright light basically blinding you, as the hangiety and headache began.

“Morning,” his voice was groggy and deep. “I guess we…”

“No way,” you sighed, pushing yourself up off the floor- how did you get there? “There’s no way we would’ve… one of us would remember.” 

“You can’t tell? You’re wearing my boxers, Y/n,” he smiled. “If we did it’s fine, right? We’re both adults, we can move past it.”

You grabbed your own panites from the floor beside you, and quickly hid behind a tall chair to change. “There’s no dried patch on my thigh, no wrapper on the floor, nothing hurts, I don’t feel strange,” you listed. “Can’t you tell?”

“I just feel like shit,” he sighed.

“Right, so we didn’t do it,” you offered. 

“Let’s go with that,” he nodded, giving you a thumbs up. 

“Coffee?” you offered. 

“Yeah, please,” he groaned, closing his eyes again. 

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You two went through Mother’s Day (meeting his mom and pretending to be his girlfriend was terrifying, but you kept it together), and eventually you invited him to your yearly 4th of July party at your parents lake house, but he was too busy racing in Silverstone, so he invited you (and your family) to come to the race. 

You watched as he sped down the main straight, full of anticipation. Right now, Oscar was in the lead for the WDC and McLaren was leading the WCC as they continued winning race after race. Lando really wanted this one though, he had to win his home race. 

You’d really gotten into F1 in recent months, and you had started to actually enjoy the races, not just watch  them because Lando was driving. 

You watched as he sped down the main straight, rain pouring down, this was his final flying lap, the one that would put him over Oscar, up to pole position and-

He spun out. 

“Fuck!” you shouted, shocked at the scene in front of you. The session was red flagged and everyone went back into the pits. While you watched, on the edge of your seat, as he was carried out of the car and put into a medical car. 

You sprinted down to the garage, ready to see him. You couldn’t let him get hurt while you were there, that meant you were his bad luck charm or something. You couldn’t have that. You watched as he exited the medical car, right outside the McLaren garage, and you breathed a sigh of relief as he stepped out, looking mostly unharmed.

“Holy shit,” you whispered, taking his hand. “You’re alright after that?”

He shrugged. “Maybe? I have to go get checked-”

“You need someone to go to the hospital with you,” Will interrupted. “We’re going to stay back and work on the data, you have someone?” 

Lando looked at you with wide eyes. “Ummm-”

“He does,” you nodded. “I’ll come with you.”

He gave you an appreciative smile. 

౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊

“The doctor will be in shortly,” Maisie, his very annoyed nurse smiled as the both of you tried desperately to hold in your laughter. 

“Thank you,” you smiled, and as she left the room you and him burst into laughter again. You weren’t even sure you knew what you were laughing about, but that was fine with the two of you. 

In came… you mom’s neighbour? 

“Faarouq?” you questioned. “You’re in England?”

“I volunteer here,” he explained. “Flew in to reconnect this guy's finger, and now I’m just staying a few extra days since they’re understaffed.”

“Oh,” you smiled. “That’s awesome.”

You hadn’t noticed it before, but he really was lovely. He was kind, he volunteered, he was a doctor. He was great. 

Lando watched as you and he chatted and he couldn’t help but feel himself deflate. He didn’t know why, but seeing you with him made him… something. He wasn’t sure. 

౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊

No issues, all healthy, might experience some neck pain. Clean bill of health.  

You walked him up to his hotel room, his arm around your shoulder. You’d honestly had a brilliant day with Lando, the best 4th you’d ever had. 

You lay him down in his bed, handing him a glass of water. 

“Sorry for ruining your 4th,” he sighed. “You probably should’ve been with your family.”

You brushed it off. “Holidates should never leave a holidate behind,” you chuckled. “And anyways, it was a pretty fun day.” 

You put a hand on his shoulder, assuring him of your answer, and he put his hand over yours. You both felt it, looking at each other just a little bit too long for it to be platonic, but you quickly ended it, leaving as soon as you could.

He was a Holidate, nothing more. 

౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊

“Our hands touched,” he told Max as they set out for a day of golfing. 

“Holy shit,” he gasped. “Did you use protection?”

Lando scoffed as Max laughed. 

“I’m telling you there was a… moment, or something,” he sighed. “I’m starting to really like her.”

“Oh shit, you’ve got to get out then,” Max turned serious. 

“W-what do you mean?”

“Mate,” he groaned. “You’re a fucking F1 driver who is trying to win a World Championship right now, do you think you’ll have all the time in the world to date someone?” “But… the weddings’ coming up- and it’s on labour day. Technically that’s a holiday.”

“You’re already in too deep, bring someone else,” Max instructed. 

“Max I can juggle two things at once-”

“Mate, you’ve worked your entire life for this, do not fuck it up for some girl!”

Lando saw the truth in what he was saying (even if it wasn’t what he wanted to hear), and he sighed. “I guess you’re right. I’ll text her tonight.” 

౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊

You walked into the wedding, a sour look on your face. You date, Farrouq (your mom’s neighbour) clung to your aunt all night while Lando’s date was some super model that made you want to run and hide. 

“Hi,” he smiled, coming up to you at the bar. 

“Hi.”

“Enjoying the wedding?” 

“Yup,” you nodded. “You?”

“Yeah, it’s great,” he agreed. 

“Your date seems nice,” you mentioned. 

“She left a little while ago,” he admitted. 

“Oh shit, sorry,” you cursed. “I genuinely meant it. I didn’t see her leave-”

“Yeah, it’s alright,” he shook his head. “No harm done.”

You took a sip of your drink and looked behind you to see your aunt tounging your date, and you sighed. “Any plans for halloween?”

“I’m working on it,” he agreed. Holidates once again. 

Max would murder him. He didn’t feel too guilty about it. 

౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊

Halloween rolled around and Lando put you in a fucking pirates costume with a very tight corset, but you understood that’s what you get when you put a dude in charge of costumes. You sat with your sister at the bar, waiting for Lando to catch your eye when you felt hands around your waist. 

“Ahoy mate,” he whispered, giggling.

“Fuck!” you jumped. “You scared me!”

He laughed, then stopped when he actually looked at you. “The costume looks… amazing,” he smiled, starstruck. 

“Thanks I feel like a total slut,” you joked. 

“Well you look like one too,” Abby added. “Go get a drink or something,” you scoffed, shooing her off. You turned to Lando. “What’s the plan for tonight?” 

“Get fucked up?”

“Sounds perfect!” you smiled, then took a swig of your beer. The night went off with some dancing, some chocolate, and then in came Luc with a very pregnant Nicola. 

Pregnant. Pregnant. She was fucking pregnant. You stood there in stunned silence as everyone caught up, shocked at the fact that she was pregnant. 

“Holy fuck! She’s pregnant, pregnant!” you complained as you walked through the party, feeling increasingly sick. 

“Come on, you just need a drink,” Abby scoffed, handing you some punch. 

Your stomach turned. “No, no, I’m really sick,” you shook your head, bracing yourself against the table. 

“Are you alright?” Lando asked, holding your waist. 

“No,” you leaned into him. “Not at all.”

“Should I bring you home?” he offered. 

“I’ll just get a cab, I’m alright-”

“Holidate rule number three, never leave a date behind,” he reminded you, so you let him get in the cab with you. 

౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊

It hurt. It hurt so bad. Mixing alcohol with red dye 40 and about 50 mini candy bars was not a good idea. You whined as Lando had to physically pick you up and carry you to the lift of your aparmtnt, 

“Wait, she’s due next week right?” you did the maths in your head. “They did it on Valentine’s day!” you sobbed. 

“Everyone does it on Valentine’s day,” he reasoned. 

“I didn’t!” you screamed. 

He thought back. “Hey! I didn’t either!” 

Then the lift dinged and he dragged you in, listening as you spiralled. 

Then that awful noise. Then the awful feeling. 

“Untie me,” you said, your voice low, sober.  

“Huh?” 

“Untie me,” you instructed, gasping at the strings of your corset. 

“What- how the fuck do you untie this?” he asked, gripping at the strings. 

“I don’t know! Just untie it!” you shouted. 

“I can’t, it’s like-”

“Rip it Lando, fucking rip it!” you shouted. 

“I’m trying, it’s-”

The elevator dinged and behind the doors an old couple appeared, looking less than impressed. You realised how bad it looked, but truly, it was much worse than what they were thinking. They closed again, and up another floor they went. 

You needed to get to a toilet, now. 

You both ran to your door, him ripping off your corset at the last moment before you shut the bathroom door, and thankfully you made it, but not without sobbing crying on the toilet. Fuck your sister and her accidentally giving you laxatives. 

You sat in your bath as he held the shower head to your back. 

“Don’t even look at me,” you sighed. 

“I’m not,” he said, and he wasn’t. He was trying his absolute hardest not to look at you. Even though you’d almost actually shit yourself, even though he’d heard you sobbing crying, somehow, you were still the most gorgeous person he’d ever seen, and as much as he wanted to he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. He looked back at you and smiled, when he was sure you weren’t looking. Something in his heart leaped, and he knew he should’ve been weary, but he almost didn’t care. 

౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊

You sat in bed as he brought you a glass of water and you sighed. “So… I guess I’ll be a story you tell at parties now? Half of Monaco will know me as the girl who-”

“The girl who shit her pants on Halloween?” 

You groaned. “Fuck off.”

He chuckled. “I meant it when I said I’d seen worse, and don’t worry, I won't tell anyone. Promise.” 

You turned back around to face him and smiled. “Thank you.”

He offered you a soft smile, and you both fell asleep like that. 

Waking up? That was a different story. You gently opened your eyes to see a very asleep Lando. His eyes scrunched up, an arm around you, his face closer to yours than it had ever been, and you smiled. The way his nose scrunched up, the moles on his face, his long eyelashes, I mean… you knew he was gorgeous before but up close? It was practically unfair. 

Then his eyes fluttered open, and he moved his arm back, staring at you the same way you were staring at him. Again, another moment. His eyes on you, having him so close. It all drove you crazy. 

He didn’t feel much different. He was tired of this charade, pretending he wasn’t head over heels in love with you. Like he didn’t clear his schedule the second you’d asked him if he was free on Halloween. Then he moved closer, as if he was going to kiss you. He knew you wanted it too-

You covered your mouth with the covers. “I hate it when people kiss in the morning in movies, I think it’s disgusting,” you chuckled.

He laughed. God, you were adorable. He smiled at you for a moment, then moved your hand down, looking to you for approval. You nodded, and he kissed you. 

And it was everything you’d ever wanted in a kiss. The sparks flying, the silent feelings, the butterflies in your stomach going crazy. Lando made you feel like that. He made you feel… amazing. And it was everything he’d ever wanted in a kiss too. 

౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊

You resurfaced after your soft morning sex and stood in the kitchen, both of you a little bit sweaty and tired. 

“We should probably-”

“You can go, if you want,” you offered, hoping you hadn’t said the wrong thing. Lando was a famous, rich guy, he probably had casual sex all the time. You didn’t want to be one of those crazy girls that thinks that sex ties you to a person (even thought it was more than just sex to you), so you have to let him go, right? 

He looked like a deer in headlights. “Do you want me to leave?”

“I mean, I don’t mind. I don’t want you to feel obligated to stay or anything-”

“Obligated?” he questioned. 

“Well, Halloween is over, right? Holidate ending? See you at Thanksgiving?” you joked. 

His heart broke slightly. “Right.” 

Then the doorbell rang. 

You ran over, opening it as quickly as you could, only to reveal your sister, absolutely trashed. Lando stood against the counter, sighing. How could he let himself fuck this up too? You were amazing. You were the best thing that had happened to him all year. It was ridiculous how much he looked forward to your calls and texts, how often he checked his phone just to see the ‘group photo’ of you, him, Max, and your family that he’d taken at the wedding. You, with his arms around you. Even if you two were fighting that week, you still chose to stand beside him in the photo, and let him hold you. That meant more to him than anything. He groaned, hitting his head against a cabinet. How did he fuck it all up?

“I kissed the black panther!” Abby sobbed. “I kissed the guy, at the party, dressed as the black panther!” 

“W-what?” you scoffed, holding her as she cried, sending a ‘help me’ look Lando’s way. 

“I am a terrible person!” she screamed into a pillow sobbing. 

“Morning Abby,” Lando smiled. She stopped crying and turned her attention to him. 

“Morning Land… holy shit you two had sex!” 

“We did not!” you argued. 

“We didn't?” Lando asked, his voice quieter than usual. He put down his coffee mug. 

“Oh…” Abby sighed. “I should- I should go.”

“NO! No, you- you stay! I’ll make some breakfast-” you pleaded, grabbing her hand.

“It’s alright Abby, you stay, I’ll go,” Lando nodded, grabbing the last bits of his costume. “Okay?” he looked to you, hoping against hope that you’d ask him to stay. You didn’t. “Okay.”

“Bye! See you at Thanksgiving!” 

The look he gave you as he was leaving told you he wouldn’t call you again. 

How did you always fuck everything up?

౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊

“Mate, she shoved me out the door,” Lando sighed, doing anything but looking over the data.

Will sighed. “She didn’t even want a cuddle?”

“Nothing! We had half a cup of coffee in blissful silence, then she kicked me out!” he groaned. “Ugh! Why is dating so hard!”

Will chuckled. “It’s alright mate, there’s plenty of other fish in the sea-”

“But they’re not Y/n! I want Y/n. I want my Y/n,” he whined. “Y’know what the last thing she said to me was? ‘See you at Thanksgiving’, like it didn’t even mean anything to her. Like I was fucking meaningless.”

“At least you’ve still got her as a Holidate-”

“I cannot do that anymore,” he admitted. “I can’t just… pretend to be in love with her when I actually am.” 

“No, mate, you’ve got to keep going with it. You just act like nothing has changed and she’ll come crawling back. It’s a foolproof idea!” ౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊

God, you hated Thanksgiving. Your mother couldn’t cook, your sister was busy asking you about that guy she kissed at the party, and Lando was nowhere to be seen. As you opened the front door ready to run to the supermarket and buy an entire Thanksgiving feast, you were met with the face of Lando Norris. 

“Hi,” he smiled sadly. 

“Hi,” you smiled. “I have to run to the store so you can…”

“Great,” he nodded. “I’ll drive.” 

You had realised that in the 11 months you’d known each other, you hadn’t ever driven with him. “Not too fast, not all of us have the neck of an F1 driver,” you teased, hoping to lighten the mood. He just nodded with a reserved smile on his face. Challenge failed. 

You sat in the car as he drove (definitely over the speed limit), awkwardly wondering what to say. 

“How have you been?” he asked, his hands gripping the wheel. 

“Good, busy,” you explained. “You?” “Good. Busy,” he answered, his hands gripping the wheel even harder. You were both silent for a moment. “Are we seriously just going to pretend it never happened?”

“That works for me,” you nodded, thinking that’s what he really wanted. 

“Well, for the record, I wasn’t the one who wanted to leave that morning,” he sighed. 

“It’s not like you were asking to stay, plus, you didn’t even want to have sex with me in the first place. You’re not attracted to me, remember?” 

“Why can’t you let that go?”

“Because when a guy opens with the fact that he doesn’t find you attractive, it kind of sets the tone for the relationship-” 

“I was some random guy at the mall, what would you have said if I opened with ‘hi I think you’re insanely beautiful’?!”

You both paused for a second. 

“Y/n, come on. Everything about you is beautiful. Your smile, your personality, your humour. You would’ve never gone out with me, definitely not on New Year’s.”

You were both quiet again. 

“Does that change anything for you?” he looked at you, eyes pleading. You had to make a choice. 

“No.”Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes. Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.

Why did you have to be so good at protecting yourself? 

“Fucking hell- you’re trying so hard not to feel anything because you’re scared of getting hurt, so you’re lying to the both of us-”

“Maybe I just don’t feel the same, Lando. Not every girl will fall at your fucking feet,” you scoffed. 

“Fine. Enjoy the rest of your holidays, alone, at the kids table, blaming everyone but yourself for your problems.” 

౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊

How did you fuck it up so badly? You walked back in. 

“Where’s Lando?” Abby asked. 

“Don’t know, don’t care.” 

“What? What did you do?” Your brother asked. 

“What makes you think it was my fault?” you scoffed. 

“You should call him, he’s a good guy,” Abby added. “You should just call and apologise.”

“Why do you think it was my fault?” 

“Well if you were honest with him we could probably get through one holiday without your personal life ruining dinner for everyone,” your mother sighed. 

“My personal life?” you scoffed. 

“Is a mess,” Abby interjected. 

“Ok, my personal life might be a perpetual mess but at least I didn’t kiss some randomer at Halloween!” you argued. 

“You fucking bitch,” she cursed.

A chorus of ‘who’, ‘what’ and ‘how’ quickly fell upon the room, until it was all drowned out by Peter, her husband. 

“You kissed someone else?”

You clapped a hand over your mouth. “I am so sorry I thought you’d told him-”

“I saw no tongue,” York, your brother added.

“You saw and didn’t tell me?” Liz questioned. 

“You can’t keep a secret,” he shrugged. 

“How would you know that, you know nothing about me!” she scoffed, getting up. 

“I trusted you!” Peter cried. “You went alone, I-I thought I could trust you-”

“I go everywhere without, a-and you never have any time for me because you’re always stressing about the kids-”

“One of us has to!” he shouted. 

Then your aunt’s date had a literal heart attack, and you were all stuck in silence as the ambulance rolled away with him inside. He would be fine, but you and your aunt went with him (not by choice) just for good measure. He was fine in the end and your aunt even met the love of her life at the hospital. 

Shittiest Thanksgiving ever. 

౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊

As Christmas rolled around and you watched the F1 season come to a close, you watched as Lando finished second in the standings, just behind Oscar. You missed him. You missed texting and calling him, you missed watching him crack bad jokes and laugh until his stomach hurt, you missed his fluffy hair and pretty face. 

You missed it all. The worst part was that he was right. You were just too afraid of being in love and putting your heart on the line, that you messed up the best thing that had ever happened to you. 

౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊౨ৎ˚₊

He walked through the same mall that he’d met you in a full year ago, and he sighed. He was empty, alone in Chicago once again, and he was done. Another chance at a WDC that he pissed away, and he was really starting to wonder if he truly had a place in the sport. Then he thought back to you, the way you liked him even without his race suit, without his money, without everything everyone else liked him for. You. He chuckled, he was probably just another Holidate to you, someone you wouldn’t even think about. 

Then he saw you as the escalators passed, and the way you looked at him gave him a glimmer of hope that he was wrong, that you did care. But you were gone in a flash and he knew he should just let it die. 

“There he was!” Abby squealed. “Go talk to him!”

“I can't, I'd just… it wouldn’t work. He hates me!” 

“Y/n, life is giving you a moment right now, take it!” 

And that’s how you ended up with a microphone in hand in the middle of a mall desperately trying to get the love of your life back. 

Thankfully, he said yes. And yes, it was videoed and put on the internet hundreds of times, too bad he’s a public figure. 

But that didn’t matter. You two were happy. 

‧₊˚🎄✩ ₊˚🦌⊹♡‧₊˚🎄✩ ₊˚🦌⊹♡‧₊˚🎄✩ ₊˚🦌⊹♡

a very f1 christmas! masterlist (2024)

navigation for my blog :) (masterlist)

[every-aj-needs-an-angel]

Okay this one's been stuck in my head all day but I have absolutely time to write it so please share this vision with me

Try as they might, Steve and Robin couldn't get tickets to Chrissy Cunningham's arena tour, but they could get tickets to a festival she was playing.

The last thing Steve ever wanted to do was go and stand in a muddy field for sixteen hours while they waited for the headline act. But he was pretty sure Robin was in love with her favourite musician, and he wasn't about to deny his best friend a chance at love.

So he helped her make personalised t-shirts because honestly all the other bands in the line-up kinda sounded like they sucked.

His read, "Only Here for Chrissy" on the front and "I'm Steve" on the back and Robin's read "Chrissy, Will You Be My Girlfriend?" on the front and "If Lost, Please Return To Steve" on the back.

And it turned out, as they stood against the barrier in a not so muddy field, on a lovely, warm, but overcast, May day, that even bands that sucked could be fun. Even if it was only because they spent their day with earplugs in, so their eardrums wouldn't combust, bitching about each artist's lack of ability to put notes or an outfit together.

During the lunchtime intermission, the pair made friends with the lesbian couple next to them, Kayla and Jess, who were also eagerly awaiting Chrissy's set and similarly liked to mock those who committed crimes against sound and fashion. Steve was glad to have met them, they were really nice, and he felt better about leaving her to use the bathroom or to fetch food, knowing Robin was in safe hands.

He also felt better about letting her wander off, not that it stopped him from stressing out when she and Kayla had been missing for over fifteen minutes. He spread himself out to keep their places against the railing with his back to the stage, watching the crowd intently. Jess wasn't quite as chatty once they were alone, but she seemed content enough, bobbing along to the band that'd appeared on the stage.

Steve didn't turn back around to face the stage until he spotted the girls heading back towards them, he gave them a wave and turned around to look at the guys who hadn't been attempting to destroy anyone's hearing and was met with the face of the most gorgeous man he'd ever seen. Pretty face, long curly hair tied up in a bun, muscle tee showing off his many tattoos, piercings and chains and glittery Docs; Steve felt himself owl blink and blush.

God's gift to mankind was kneeling centre stage, guitar in hand making the most beautiful sounds Steve had ever heard as his fingers flew over the strings, and it was only when the rest of the band kicked back in that the man looked up, winked directly at Steve, and then jumped back to his feet, spending the rest of the song bouncing around the stage.

Steve only realised his mouth was agape when Robin finally arrived next to him and elbowed him hard in the ribs, giving him the same look she did whenever he was embarrassing in the club. He watched the rest of the Corroded Coffin, according to the backdrop, set in awe. Screaming and clapping along when they wished everyone a great day, throwing picks and drumsticks into the crowd and taking a bow; patting each other on the back as they wandered offstage.

As soon as it was quiet again, Robin wanted to know what the hell was wrong with his face and honestly, he couldn't answer her. He didn't even believe in love, not for himself at least, and he certainly didn't believe in love at first sight. It didn't stop him from spending the next couple of hours watching the faces at the sides of the stage, hoping to catch a glimpse of his new favourite guitarist, though.

As soon as Chrissy hit the stage, Steve got lost, between filming the set and watching Robin trying not to hyperventilate when Chrissy spotted her t-shirt, pointed to her, and giving her a coy little wink, blew her a kiss.

"An old school friend is here with me tonight, and I'd like him to help me out with this next track. Especially for the beauty in the front row, this is Girlfriend!"

The crowd went wild as the beat kicked in, but Steve was still watching Robin because it looked like she'd stopped breathing altogether. That was until she gasped loudly and started smacking Steve in the way she always did whenever she got overly excited; pointing wildly at the stage, and it was only when he looked over he saw Corroded Coffins guitarist bouncing up and down next to Chrissy.

Instead of the black muscle vest and skinny jeans he'd been sporting earlier in the day, he had changed into pale blue board shorts and a baggy white t-shirt that read "Hey Steve!" written in black sharpie with a giant winking smiley face underneath that could only really be seen when he swung his guitar around his back to copy Chrissy's dance moves.

The song ended, and the friends hugged, Chrissy waving him off the stage and calling out, "Eddie Munson everybody!" letting the crowd go wild for her friend before launching into the rest of her set.

By the time Chrissy had actually left the stage, Robin looked exhausted, having screamed and sung and danced herself out. They hung around a bit, said goodbye to Kayla and Jess, wishing them a safe journey home, and they were just taking one last look at the now empty stage when he heard someone yell his name...

[scarfacemarston]

Natasha Romanoff x Gender Neutral Reader Fluff

She loves to cook, but she rarely had anyone to cook for. As an avenger, some of the more sexist shield members would mutter that, of course, the only female avenger would be doing the domestic duties - but woe to them if she ever heard them speak about it. Still, she’d cook for them sometimes anyway. Clint and Thor were always hungry, and she was worried that Bruce and Tony weren’t eating enough. For Steve she wanted him to have the warmth and comfort of a home-cooked meal, something that Steve rarely enjoyed growing up.

However, because of her concerns about how she was perceived, she limited herself to when or how often she cooked. For you, it was a different story. She loved experimenting with various recipes. She’ll teach you how to make your favorites and encourage you to try new recipes she found on the internet or during her travels.

Call it stereotypical, but she is still connected to her Russian roots in some ways and loves Russian food. She hopes she can share it with you but is admittedly shy about sharing that part of her with you. The minute you reassure her that you’re genuinely interested, you’ll be rewarded with the softest and shyest grins.

Still enjoys riding her bike from childhood and would love for you to come along. She insists on teaching you if you don’t know how to ride a bike. If you don’t want to ride bikes, she’d at least like you to go on a motorcycle ride with her with your arms around her waist.

She loves to paint and has always been fascinated by art, but it was Steve who taught her to truly appreciate art and privately encouraged her to take up painting. She is quite talented but reluctant to show you her work.

She loves cheesy B movies—aka movies that were usually filmed between the 30s and 70s, often with monsters and horrible actors—but there were exceptions. The Dark and Stormy Night, Yor, the Hunter from the Future, and The Haunted Palace are a few of her favorites.

She enjoys her time alone in the shower and rarely takes baths, but when she does, she always wants you to join her so you can cuddle in the bath together. She loves the intimacy and closeness of it.

One of her weaknesses is attending the fair or a festival with you. She had great memories of going with her “adopted” family, and it’s nostalgic for her. Be prepared for Natasha to win you all sorts of prizes, as she somehow just happens to win quite a few of the rigged games. You’re not sure how she does it, but you love her smug look to the bewildered carnies.

Natasha usually sleeps in a tank top and pajama pants. On some nights, she loves to bring out the silk pajamas. It’s a special treat for her. She also bought you a pair once and gets girlishly excited when you match.

18+ underneath

She prefers to top. Sex has been used in all sorts of situations, especially in espionage. However, she reclaimed her body and her agency. She loves taking care of you. She feels like she’s doing something worthwhile. However, the day she bottoms is both sweet and intimate, as well as being a bit of an emotional experience as Natasha finally lets go.

Natasha knows how beautiful and sexy she is, but she doesn’t care about that - she only cares about you and what you think. She puts in a certain amount of effort, not because she has to, but because she wants to. Nat wants you to enjoy the lacy bra and stockings, the leather corset, or the sheer nightgown. She is very independent, but making you happy and surprising you in the bedroom brings her joy.

One of her favorite parts of sex is the aftercare, where you two can just take in the post-orgasm bliss - the glow as you come down from your highs. She looks at you with astounding softness as she plays with your hair and kisses your forehead…but there’s also a hint of pride as she teases how she tired you out.

[writing-rat]

Mittens

Pairings: Wednesday x Enid

Content: Just fluff

Summary: Enid waits for Wednesday to ask for some gloves...

WC: 838

It was the Winter festival in Jericho and Enid and Wednesday were attending it. Wednesday didn’t willingly, but Enid did. She had wanted to go so Wednesday had taken her, even if she didn’t want to. She wanted to make Enid happy. Enid knew that Wednesday wouldn’t like it so she had decided to make a deal with her. After the festival, she would watch a few horror and gory films with Wednesday (but they would have a safeword when it was too much). 

It was cold that day, though, and Enid was layered up, but Wednesday wasn’t. She wanted to know what hypothermia felt like. Of course, Enid didn’t appreciate that, but she couldn’t stop her girlfriend. Wednesday was Wednesday, after all. She did have a spare pack of gloves in her bag, though. She knew Wednesday would take them if Enid asked her to; she was soft. She was just waiting for Wednesday to ask for them, she knew she would eventually. She did offer them at first so Wednesday did know she had them. They were also black, just for Wednesday. Enid’s were pink meanwhile, and it matched their colours. 

Wednesday was shaking as they were playing a rigged archery game, even missing her shots which was rare for her. Enid knew it was close, and she even would give her her jacket. She was a wolf, she would heat up fast after all and Wednesday knew that. “The offer is still open,” Enid teased, glancing at her stubborn girlfriend. Wednesday glared.

“I am fine, all strong people can handle this cold,” Wednesday spoke.

“With hoodies and coats, yes. Not a thin jacket and shirt,” she chuckled and looked at Wednesday who was just glaring back. Wednesday shrugged. 

“They are losers then,” Wednesday stated, Enid reluctantly letting her suffer when she didn’t need to. They proceeded to walk to a hot drink area, Wednesday getting a black coffee and Enid got a hot chocolate, but mint flavoured. She had it last year and she loved it, so she had to buy it again. As Enid went to pay, Wednesday got out her card and paid. 

“Wednesday,” Enid whined. “I could pay, you know? I now have a job, you know?” she spoke. 

“I know but I want to. Anyway, you haven’t sold any stickers in months and a few bracelets every week. Let me treat you,” Wednesday spoke, looking at her. Enid sighed.

It was true after all. She did start making jewellery and stickers to sell, and it was working out every few months but she did want more admittedly and she refused the Addams family helping promote it. After they got their drinks, Wednesday led them to a food stand. “I’m hungry too,” Wednesday admitted and Enid nodded.

“Can I pay for the food?” she asked with a smile and Wednesday sighed.

“Fine, you may. But only because I don’t want to hear you whine,” Wednesday spoke. “Because you love me?” Enid asked. 

“No, because it is annoying,” Wednesday snarked. Enid just pouted.

After both girls got a box of doughnuts, a hotdog for Wednesday and a burger for Enid, they sat down. “Please babycakes, just take my coat. I will be fine but you are shaking,” she spoke. 

“I will take the mittens after ood to stop your incessant whining, ok?” Wednesday compromised. Enid sighed before she nodded. 

“I was hoping you would ask. I made them myself for you after all,” Enid spoke.

“You made them?” Wednesday asked, her eyes wide. 

“Yes, of course, I did,” Enid stated, her eyebrows furrowing. 

“Give them over now. I am sorry mon chiot for not accepting them immediately. I did not realise. Please forgive me,” Wednesday immediately spoke, feeling guilty. 

“Babe, it’s ok. Here you go,” she chuckled as she handed them over.

“Thank you. I am sorry once again,” she apologised. Se didn’t want to make Enid feel like she did bad after all.

“You don’t have to worry babe, it’s ok. Now I know how to get you to wear stuff… simp,” Enid joked, knowing Wednesday hated that nickname.

“You are incorrigible…” Wednesday muttered. After her hotdog and a few doughnuts, she put the gloves on. “What does your coat smell like?” Wednesday asked casually.

“It smells like me. Why? You want to wear it?” Enid asked with a grin. Wednesday murmured before she nodded. Enid smiled happily, handing over her coat. 

“Thank you,” Wednesday spoke as she put on the coat and felt much warmer. 

“It is no problem. I will make you a sweater to wear soon, I promise,” Enid spoke. Wednesday’s lips twitched up before she nodded.

“That would be appreciated. You should sell some sweaters too and gloves,” Wednesday stated. Enid smiled and thought, then nodded.

“Thanks for the idea, babe!” Enid grinned, excited. Wednesday nodded. The gloves were warm after all, and she appreciated them. She would keep them on no matter what now. They were her prized possession now, and Enid saw that. She felt loved.

[accio-victuuri]

selfie points, custom red envelope, joint celebration rumors & AU pairings 🧧🎉🎉

happy CNY to all of you! it’s a happy day for the fandom and not even because of candies— but due to fans making so many content as new year gifts. i have personally enjoyed the photos and video edits of AU pairings. you can check this round-up for the links of those posts so you can enjoy all of it 🫶🏼

the best way to start this post is to clown over xz’s CNY selfie. this is usual for zz, posting one during this day and every year, we tend to speculate over it so this is a tradition already. lol. anyway, i wanna explain more on the caption and the exclamation he was using: 龘龘龘龘！

thank you to baidu for explaining and it makes sense now why he used it: 龘 (pronounced as dá, ㄉㄚˊ [7] ) is a Chinese character with the radical dragon, a variant of "龖" , and the meaning of the character refers to the shape of a flying dragon.

dragon fits because it’s the year of the dragon and he also used an emoji for that. his hand was also posed as the claw of a dragon. 🐲

now back to candies related to this selfie...

people are saying that this was taken using his wechat camera and in selfie mode. which, like what we usually cpn, is because he was sending it to someone else. what we got is another leftover selfie. another one is what’s drawn/reflected in his eye? if you’ve been here long enough, you may be familiar with people saying that ZZ will edit his eyes to show something else. there were examples before that were kinda believable but i personally think it’s a stretch. xz is definitely an artist who loves to hide things in his art, which includes his photos so it is probable. i just don’t know how far he will take it. what fans are comparing it to as possible reference are the two: happy camp hand stand or a photo of wyb in SDC 6.

my favorite part tho is the second photo shared. i always feel like if xz is only giving us 2 photos, then it means something. the selfie makes sense— but the other one? i actually expected him to share a photo of food that he is eating. anyway, it’s a winterberry ( one of it’s names ) and is a known means health and longevity, no illness or disaster, suitable for decorating during spring festival it is believed to bring happiness and good luck.

this is seen frequently in relation to ZZ:

One old cpn we have is that WYB gives him this in bouquets for his filming wrap up events knowing that he likes it. maybe not exactly how it looks but what it means. most popular being during OOL. He posted a different bouquet from what was given to him by the crew as per the wrap up bts video 👀 so why? what’s so important? was he trying to make someone happy? that is mostly explained in the last part of this post.

the speculation is he included that because wyb gave it to him. or that he gifted it to WYB, who took a photo of it and sent it back to him so he is sharing as well. wait… where did we get that idea? 🤔

again, another galaxy brain observation… the wall. it’s not the most unique kind of wall and it’s hard to tell in wyb’s video— but this video went on HS today as wyb’s new year greeting. so it kinda makes sense that gg will use that clue. wherever this was taken, probably wyb’s office, that’s where he placed the flowers. mister photographer wyb then took a photo and sent it to zz to show his appreciation for it.

lastly, a tiny clue from yibo-official is the emoji they used for their cny greeting. does it look familiar????

AHHHHHHH! What a coincidence!!!! 👀

to add this “emoji clue” in his photo that includes this hat. this freakin hat that launched a ton of cpn posts. interesting….

NEXT IS YBO’s custom red envelope cover for this year. They also did this last year, which we also clowned over.

black panther is something that in this fandom is widely accepted cpn was made by xz. and it’s still there. the panther looks like he has something that looks like what xz wore and drew before. also those personal connections to wyb like the 85 and skateboard, which i understand is a common yibo element and anyone can just add it. personally, i think xz did the panther on the shoulder only. 🤍

I will lightly discuss the rumor going around cpfs, especially the morning of 2/9 when cpfs have noticed that both zz and wyb have turned off their ip address locator on douyin. this usually means they don’t want people to know where they are. there are rumors that zz’s parents already arrived in Hengdian the night before 2/8 and that wyb + his parents are also going to HD so the whole joint family can spend CNY together ♥️

tho i have to say HD is a populated place, but i feel like most people will have the day off and the two are so careful so they won’t get caught. Treat this as fanfic for now. if this is true, we will clues in the next months. that’s just how turtle cpns go.

-END.

[babybeel]

— happy new year

satan doesn’t get you. actually, from the slope of your nose to the peak of your lips to your every tiny eyelash, satan knows you better than anyone. rather, he doesn’t understand all your festivities.

halloween he had enjoyed. a big bowl of sweets he had stolen copious handfuls from, amused by your scolding as you hugged the container close to your chest. but dressing up with you, scaring people, had been the highlight, teeth bared and claws peeking through. satan had been beaming by the end of the night, eyes lit up in fun.

christmas had been ok. the food was warming and the atmosphere had been pleasant, despite mammon and leviathan’s inevitable brawl over presents. more than anything, satan had liked as the celebrations drew to a close and you had swaddled the pair of you into a blanket, curling up to his side as old films continued to blare on the telly.

but new year’s confused him. any attempt to make sense of the occasion left satan stumped, baffled as to why you’d cheer and commemorate the start of the year. demons lived significantly longer than humans, a couple centuries gone in the blink of an eye. so why humans had chosen to remember each year passing by made no sense, was it not simply a reminder of your own mortality?

nevertheless, satan wasn’t about to steal away your joy, happy to trail behind you, a squeeze to your hand every so often to offer support as the festivity went on. he shot a sharp glare at a lower demon once or twice, daring them to spoil the fun you’d planned, flashing a threatening snarl so they’d keep in line. and as your excitement began to spill out, earlier nerves subdued as all went according to plan, satan could only silently hope that his brothers would behave this time round.

and then the countdown started.

and it was satan’s turn to panic, heart sprouting wings that beat rapidly in his chest as you turned to face him, wide and content grin on your lips.

because the pair of you had made it through the year. you’d made it through satan’s outbursts, when his wrath would overwhelm him, and the suffocating sadness that followed after. he’d made it through your schemes, always seeming to find yourself in trouble, dragging him along with intertwined fingers. and you’d both made it through all the cheesy dates and comforting nights, limbs tangled together and somehow still aching to be closer.

with such memories in mind and a loud echo of “zero!” you pressed your lips to satan’s, attempting to show him all the love you’d shared over the last year and promising wordlessly that your future would never dull.

you pulled away with a tiny laugh, nothing but happiness filling you as you whispered “happy new year,” soft enough for only satan to hear. it took him a second to return the sentiment, and another to kiss you again. because even if he still didn’t entirely understand the celebration, satan knew he always wanted to start the new year with you.

[youmenotyummy]

Converse High – P.SH [박성훈]

Synopsis: Shin Y/N was given the task to deliver her best friend's love letter to the shoe locker of Park Sunghan, the president of the broadcasting club. It just so happened to be that Park Sunghan's shoe box is situated right next to the shoe box of Park Sunghoon, a boy whose name had a one-syllable difference.

Genres: comedy, romance, slice of life, mix of written + smau

Warnings: swearing, very bad jokes, kms/kys, occasional pics of food/drinks, Sunghoon being vv delulu, ignore the timestamps on the Tweets and messages 😍

Pairings: non-idol!Sunghoon x fem!reader

Cast: Enhypen, &Team's Jo and Nicholas, TXT, Ive's Wonyoung, Le Sserafim, Newjeans, Park Sunghan (oc), and you!

Completed!! || May 26, 2023 - June 26, 2023

Profiles: 11 Baddies, 1 Club {2 parts} | The Struggling Seven | Playing With Balls Rn 🏀 | Decelis Broadcast Coming to You Live

Part 1 - James Bond

Part 2 - Y/N Can't Read

Part 3 - Sunoo the Spy

Part 4 - Plotting on the Priv

Part 5 - Acquaintance Acquired

Part 6 - Han and Hoon

Part 7 - An Invitation From PSH

Part 8 - Sunghoon's Mission

Part 9 - The Moon and Morse Code

Part 10 - Decomposing Rn

Part 11 - Spy Gets Kicked in the Face

Part 12 - Blue Suits You Part 13 - Top Secret Information Gained

Part 14 - Spotted by the Target

Part 15 - Super Private

Part 16 - Secret Hideout Found

Part 17 - A True (James) Bond

Part 18 - Don't Worry Sunghoon

Part 19 - A Spy's Hypothesis

Part 20 - Ticking Time Bomb

Part 21 - Soobin the Villain

Part 22 - Eunchae's Crisis

Part 23 - A Spy's (Unwanted) Consultation

Part 24 - Interrogation

Part 25 - Preparing for the Mission

Part 26 - Film Festival

Part 27 - Final Mission

Part 28 - Mission Complete

Part 29 - Priv Admission (+Y/N's Letter)

Part 30 - James Bond and Vesper Lynd

[ninja-muse]

As you can tell, my plan to acquire only two books this month went perfectly. No notes. 😰 On the upside, four of these I did not pay for and only one of them was full price, so it’s like I saved money.

I really do need to get better at reading off my physical TBR though. I’ve started a Storygraph challenge for myself, so we’ll see how that goes.

July started with a bookish bang: there was the planned bookstore visit (three books bought, not two, but I unhauled ten and used my credit), and then my dad came down so we could marathon the local Shakespeare festival, which was great! And somehow not the Shakespeare overdose I was worried about, and they nailed the play we were worried they weren’t going to.

After that, it’s been business as usual. I feel like I’m behind in my reading because Malady of the Mind took so long to get through, but honestly, I suspect I’m not because I’ve been blowing through lighter fiction on the side. The library’s finally getting April releases into circulation though, so I’ve had physical reads from them again. (Which will totally help my physical TBR goals, I know.) Very much looking forward to The Library Thief, which I picked up this week.

The only other noteworthy thing of the month is I discovered my library has an ebook of Rose/House by Arkady Martine! Except it’s in French, so it’s been taking me a bit to get through. I might not even get it done before it’s due back, but if so I’ll just check it out again because it is good, just … in French.

Click through to see everything I read this month, in the rough order of how glad I was to have read them.

Malady of the Mind - Jeffery A. Lieberman

A history of schizophrenia, with a hopeful ending.

10/10

warning: detailed descriptions of the symptoms of schizophrenia and past and present medical and societal treatments of the mentally ill

reading copy

The Reappearance of Rachel Price - Holly Jackson

Bel’s participating in a documentary about the disappearance of her mother sixteen years ago when her mom walks back in the door. Now nothing is okay.

8.5/10

Black British secondary character

warning: kidnapping, gaslighting, psychological abuse

library ebook

The Pairing - Casey McQuiston

Theo is over Kit. Four years over, which means there’s enough distance to take their dream European food tour solo and close the book. Except Kit had the same idea. Out in August.

8/10

🏳️‍🌈 protagonists (bi man, bi enby), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary and incidental characters (sapphic, achillean), 🏳️‍🌈 author

reading copy

Dear Wendy - Ann Zhao

Two aroace teens start competing college advice columns. Professionally they’re rivals. Unknowingly, they’re becoming friends.

7/10

🏳️‍🌈 protagonists (aroace), Chinese-American protagonist, 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (lesbian, bi, demisexual), Indian-American secondary character, Black secondary character, Latin secondary character, Chinese-American author, 🏳️‍🌈 author

warning: aceophobia

library book

Goodnight Tokyo - Atsuhiro Yoshida

Interwoven stories about nighttime life in Tokyo. A prop procurer seeks the perfect items, a crack detective seeks his father’s films, a diner owner seeks a past customer, and more.

7/10

Japanese cast, Japanese author

reading copy

Peking Duck and Cover - Vivien Chien

Lana’s helping run the Chinese New Year celebrations at Asia Village and everything’s going great—until someone kills a lion dancer.

7/10

Taiwanese-American protagonist, largely Chinese-American cast, Taiwanese-American author

warning: gun violence

borrowed from work

The Tomb of the Mili Mongga - Samuel Turvey

A conservationist seeking fossils in Indonesia is sidetracked by a local legend of a giant wild man, and along the way muses on extinction, human cultures, folklore, and our place in the world.

7.5/10

Indonesian secondary characters

library book

My Love in Stitches, Vol. 1 - Emily Gossmann

Frankie’s trying to get her life together when she meets Momo, but dating her is going to be hard. First, she needs a job, and also their friends are dead set on keeping them apart….

7/10

🏳️‍🌈 protagonists (sapphic), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (sapphic), 🏳️‍🌈 author, 🇨🇦

kickstarted/off my TBR

The Dishonest Miss Take - Faye Murphy

Desperate to clear her name after a murder she didn't commit, a superpowered former villain stumbles onto a mystery—and a curious assassin. Out in September.

5.5/10

🏳️‍🌈 protagonist (sapphic), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary character (sapphic)

digital reading copy/won

Picture Books

It’s Raining Bats & Frogs - Rebecca Colby

The witch parade is in danger of being rained out but one young witch has the solution. Or does she?

Scorch, Hedgehog of Doom - Cate Berry

Scorch is going to be the biggest, baddest hedgehog ever, no matter what.

Into the Goblin Market - Vikki VanSickle

Two sisters live near the goblin market. When one seeks out its temptations, the other follows to save her.

Reread

Timeline - Michael Crichton

In the late 1990s, a tech company finds a way to send people to the Hundred Years’ War. Immediately, things go wrong.

7/10

warning: misogyny, attempted sexual violence

library ebook

Currently reading

A Gentleman from Japan - Thomas Lockley

The true story of a Japanese man who found himself at the court of Elizabeth I.

warning: slavery, orientalism

library book

Rose/House - Arkady Martine

There is a body within Rose House—two, if you count its architect, who ordered the house shuttered with his passing and left to its AI. Only one person is allowed to enter now, and she’s accounted for. And yet there is a body within Rose House….

library ebook

Music from the Earliest Notations to the Sixteenth Century - Richard Taruskin

A history of early written European music, in its social and political contexts.

The Penguin Complete Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle

Victorian detective stories.

disabled POV character (limb injury), occasional Indian secondary characters

warning: racism, colonialism

Monthly total: 9 + 1 + 3 Yearly total: 68 Queer books: 4 Authors of colour: 3 Books by women: 5 Authors outside the binary: 1 Canadian authors: 1 Classics: 0 Off the TBR shelves: 1 Books hauled: 11 ARCs acquired: 4 ARCs unhauled: 4 DNFs: 0

January February March April May June

[kharmii]

(Title of the book is Violet Agenda Materials)

Geten: (So-and-So) was wearing cat ears and having fun at the (Setsubun) Spring Festival.

Dabi: I don't care.

(Smoke sputters and sparks out of Dabi)

Geten: The smoke is amazing, Blue Flame?

(Under cut for inappropriate adult material featuring a cat costume with butt plug)

Geten: A soldier gave me these cat ears because he happened to have an extra pair. I want to see you wearing them.

Dabi: Just so happened, huh. *Emanating smoke*

Geten: *teasing seductively* I want to insult you while laughing behind your back as you imitate the bastard, and I want to attack you until you cry and beg for forgiveness from me, and I want you to die just like that.

Or rather, the room stinks, I'm going to die.

Just imagining Blue Flame feeling miserable in this costume makes me excited.

Dabi: ...This is why those who have not completed compulsory education... (A joke about how they were having a Team Violet meeting that went off track. Also, Geten is naive about sex.)

Geten: A soldier gave this to me because he happened to have it.

Dabi: Just so happened, huh.

Geten: Is it a tail? How do you attach it in this shape? He said he (soldier who gave it to him) would buy the photos for 300,000 yen and the videos for 1,000,000 yen.

Dabi: Hey, leave it to me. I'm good at photography. I'm practicing filming. It's the commander's job to satisfy the soldiers' twisted desires.

Geten: You're the damn cat, so wear it, Blue Flame, I want to see it.'

Oops...Dabi runs too hot.

Geten was sleeping normally, and he woke up covered in ice and water.

Meanwhile, Dabi is loving it. He feels cooler than ever.

(Geten runs cold when he sleeps, but he doesn't usually melt unless Dabi is there. Geten is mildly annoyed).

Geten: *full of fervor* ReDestro! For ReDestro! All for ReDestro!

Dabi: *sarcastically* You had a wonderful life. Poor guy.

Geten: (Unimpressed by his lack of enthusiasm) Don't think that a half-hearted flame will melt this ice.

Dabi: *doubles down in a perky tone to be a smart-ass* You've lived a wonderful life! Oh poor you!

Geten: My palate has become refined from the Meta Liberation Army's high-class cuisine, so I shouldn't be eating so much junk food! *bolts down food*

-But if you can do it, I'll try to cope! I'll accept it every day and every meal!

Dabi: He lived a wonderful life. Poor guy......

(Comic is a play on their first meeting when Geten was sent to kill Dabi, the League of Villains long-ranged attacker. Geten talked about how he never went to school because he was devoted solely to training his meta abilities, and Dabi had replied sarcastically, "What a wonderful life. NOW DIE!!" They had opposite upbringings. Dabi's neglectful douchebag father was a hero who meant well. Geten was raised by a villain father figure who loved him and valued his abilities, and yet he was extremely sheltered, raised in a most appalling manner and taught terrible ideals).

(Where Geten hears Dabi telling him over and over about how he 'lived a wonderful life' but he doesn't understand he's being sarcastic. He tries to share his happiness with him in an eerily touching way).

Dabi: I've lived a wonderful life. Poor you...

Geten: Blue Flame.... If you want to hear more about me and ReDestro's wonderful story, just say so.

Do you need life counseling? For clothes, go to Detonerat. Support Item Development Department. Just ask for a support item you need. Look, this is the application form. For meals, there is a request box in the cafeteria. This is the request form.

If you have any questions about housing, there is a support person at the Meta Liberation Army Lifestyle Consultation Desk. Tower man is free for executives.

This is about lifelong financial support for executives and a list of professional introductions to tax evasion fraud. If you want to earn money steadily, the job magazine for PLA soldiers is "Destro☆Byte.

Dabi: Don't you try to make me live a wonderful life?

(Dabi and Geten are opposites and also kind of the same. They both are emotionally stunted from living questionable childhoods. Dabi might recognize something wrong with Geten's relationship with ReDestro/MLA but also at the same time, envy him).

Art credit: hrak (yaoi), Dabi, Apocrypha / Twitterログ15【外荼外】 - pixiv

[justforbooks]

Morgan Spurlock

American film-maker best known for his acclaimed 2004 documentary Super Size Me

Few film-makers can say that their work has made a change to the real world, but Morgan Spurlock had a stronger claim than most. His 2004 documentary Super Size Me, an exposé of how the fast food industry was fuelling America’s obesity epidemic, appeared to have direct repercussions for the world’s largest fast food chain, McDonald’s.

Shortly before the film came out in May that year, the company introduced its Go Active! menu, which included salad items; six weeks after its release, the company abolished its supersize portions entirely.

McDonald’s claimed these menu changes were a coincidence. But the director, who has died aged 53 of complications from cancer, struck a timely blow at the business when awareness about fast food’s corrosive role in public health was on the rise.

Super Size Me’s high-concept premise – eating three McDonald’s meals for 30 days straight – was key to conveying Spurlock’s message. With the director gaining 11kg, plumping out his body fat from 11% to 18% and inflicting heart palpitations, impotence and depression on himself, his gonzo approach put him at the forefront of the early noughties boom in cinematic documentaries instigated by Michael Moore. “There’s real power in a documentary,”Spurlock later said.

Doubts later emerged about Spurlock’s experiment in bodily attrition, after he refused to release his diet logs from the period; and then when it later emerged that he was an alcoholic who had also imbibed during the shoot.

An inveterate attention-seeker and twinkly-eyed showman, he was not going to let these details affect either the purity of Super Size Me’s marketing line, or his emerging career as a documentary star; a budding Moore for the Jackass generation. He would consistently target totems of modern capitalism and consumerism, though none of his subsequent works had the same kind of influence as his 2004 lightning-bottler.

Spurlock was born in Parkersburg, West Virginia, and grew up in Beckley in the Methodist household of his auto-repair shop-owning father Ben and mother Phyllis, an English teacher and high-school counsellor. Though his parents later divorced, he credited his mother in particular with instilling in him a sense of activism: “She was one of those people who speak up when she didn’t agree with things. She was a collector of people too: if you had the ability to help people, you should,” he told the International Documentary Association.

A childhood fan of British humour such as Fawlty Towers and Monty Python, he was already exercising his entertainer’s streak doing “funny walks” around the house aged six or seven.

Rejected five times by University of Southern California’s film school, he graduated from the New York University Tisch School of the Arts in 1993. “I wanted to be Spielberg. I wanted to write and direct scripted movies,” Spurlock told Interview magazine. He originally showed promise in this direction, winning an award for his stage play The Phoenix at the New York international fringe festival in 1999.

After stints as a personal assistant on Woody Allen’s Bullets Over Broadway and Luc Besson’s Leon (both 1994), Spurlock first stepped in front of camera as a promotional spokesman for Sony Electronics. But his breakthrough came though hitching himself to the reality TV bandwagon with the self-created internet webcast, and, later (in 2002), MTV show, I Bet You Will. As one of the presenting team, Spurlock goaded members of the public into humiliating themselves for money – with stunts such as being “wedgied” or eating a worm burrito.

Super Size Me grossed $22m on a $65,000 budget, making it one of the most profitable documentaries of all time. Spurlock believed his body never fully recovered – though he lost the weight thanks to a special diet concocted by his then girlfriend, the vegan chef Alex Jamieson (the pair married and had a son, Laken, in 2006, before divorcing in 2011; Spurlock had been previously married to Priscilla Somer between 1996 and 2003).

He also later expressed doubts about the longer-term impact of Super Size Me on fast food corporations, later reflecting: “People say to me, ‘So has the food gotten healthier?’ And I say, ‘Well, the marketing sure has.’”

Spurlock could not skewer the zeitgeist again to create a second “doc-buster”, despite tilting at big-hitter topics such as terrorism (in 2008’s Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden?) and product-placement and advertising (POM Wonderful Presents: the Greatest Movie Ever Sold in 2011). With his trademark handlebar moustache, he settled into a reliably affable front-of-camera presence nosing around socio-cultural issues and foibles – sometimes fatuously.

In total, he directed and produced nearly 70 films and series, including a One Direction hagiography in 2013 and a Super Size Me sequel in 2017. But he retained keen business sense and marketing nous throughout this prolific output. “He taught us that we have to be chief executive artists,” his fellow documentary-maker Ondi Timoner told Variety.

Towards the end of Spurlock’s life, his career was on hold after he confessed in a 2017 blogpost to sexually abusive behaviour, including an allegation of rape while at college and paying off a production assistant he had harassed. “I have been unfaithful to every wife and girlfriend I have ever had,” he also wrote, explaining he had been sexually abused in his youth. He divulged all this possibly pre-emptively in anticipation of future accusations in the up swell of the #MeToo movement.

Making himself the focus of the story was true to his modus operandi, and his professed desire for self-improvement could indeed have made a fascinating documentary.

But the mea culpa proved an effective self-cancellation, with him resigning from the production company, Warrior Poets, he had founded in 2004 and being sued by Turner Entertainment Networks for an aborted project.

He divorced his third wife, the producer Sara Bernstein – with whom he had a second son – in 2024. His final documentary credit was for a mockumentary creating a fake history around the classic 1992 Simpsons episode Homer at the Bat.

Spurlock is survived by his children, Laken and Kallen, by his parents and his brothers, Craig and Barry.

🔔 Morgan Spurlock, director and producer, born 7 November 1970; died 23 May 2024

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at Just for Books…?

[changingplumbob]

Nishidake: Chapter 6, Part 4

Dash to the finish line

On days when neither woman has work, Charlie and Kaori enjoy a small sleep in. They then tackle the garden together, chatting and gossiping. A noise outside startles them and Charlie goes to find Clover eating trash. Charlie tries to explain it’s a bad idea and thinks this time Clover may have absorbed the message.

The two have samosas for breakfast because they do enjoy spicy food, it’s kind of their thing.

Kaori: It’s icy today

Charlie: *sighing* again

Kaori: Afraid so. We’ll have to use the walls at the gym

Charlie: Oh I heard they moved those outside after they covered over the pool following those last deaths

Kaori: I feel bad for them but really… who uses an outdoor pool when it’s freezing out

With some quick see you later snuggles for Clover the women head off.

The walls are indeed outside now. Kaori and Charlie change into climbing gear featuring their spice festival t-shirts and set about trying the vertical climb and overhang. Things are going great when bad luck hits. For the second time in her life poor Charlie gets stuck on a malfunctioning climbing wall! Trying to focus on how she survived last time she braces for the fall. She survives everybody!

Heading inside while Kaori fixes the electronics Charlie runs into a familiar face.

Charlie: Hey stranger

Devin: Charlie! You look paler than normal

Charlie: For starters it’s cold, and then I had an accident but it was the walls fault really

Devin: I’m going to nod and pretend I understand what that means okay

Charlie: *laughs* Sure superstar, oh hey, I better get out of the cameras line of sight

Devin: My friends with cameras thank you!

Charlie: Never change Devin. Give your boys a squeeze from me okay

They head home where Charlie’s mum Kayleigh is waiting. She’s been missing her daughter and their normal chess games. After a brief house tour the two sit down for their normal battle of wits. Charlie loses but she feels like each time she plays against her mum she gets better.

Kaori serves up a great salad for dinner and the pair eat in the kitchen. Clover comes along begging for food but Charlie and Kaori agree it’s best she not eat any. Feeling happy and content the pair flirt back and forth.

Kaori has the film and literature hobby so after they finish eating they go upstairs to watch one of their favourite romantic comedies. They’ve seen it so often that they can quote most of the movie back and forth to each other but that doesn’t mean they enjoy it any less. Seeing Charlie embracing her hobby makes Kaori feel lucky that she and her wife found each other.

Everyone sleeps well that night and in the morning it takes some time to drag Clover off her bed. Charlie sorts out packing a lunch for Kaori, while Kaori takes time to play with her four legged kid.

Charlie has a lot to do on the garden this morning but once she’s finished she gives Clover a good thorough brush. Dressing her furbaby warmly she heads out for a jog. There’s a nice coating of snow that makes jogging a breeze instead of a health risk.

Charlie heads off to work and when Kaori gets home she reads up on rock climbing. A long last she also reaches level 6, finally she and Charlie will be able to try reaching the summit. Meeting her wife at the spice festival after the big game Kaori happily tell her the good news. Although they have beaten the spice challenge before the pair still enjoy eating it and watching others manage to finish for their first time.

And that’s the end of the Nishidake week. Sorry for the breeze through but it was what my brain needed to do.

Previous ... Next (Woods)

[sylvia-forest]

[CN] Shaw's Field Date (Part 2)

⚡Warning: This post contains detailed spoiler's for a Date which hasn't released in EN yet!⚡

✧[Section 3]✧

Or maybe he just fooled me again.

This guy Shaw not only refuses to admit that he is jealous, but also tries to block my mouth with delicious food and "beauty"...

The next day, he was busy until midnight with the archaeology team, so I didn't have a chance to continue to observe him…

MC: - So, what has he been struggling with these past two days?!

Early this morning, Shaw disappeared again, and I had no choice but to sit up in bed. Annoyed, I picked up a pillow and "hit" the empty space next to me.

Shaw: Why are you hitting the bed frame? Did I do something to annoy you? MC: ……!

I was startled and turned my head, only to find Shaw standing at the door, looking at me with a curious expression on his face.

MC: You you you... why are you dressed like this?!

Shaw had changed out of his work overall today and was now wearing a brand new Miao ethnic costume.

The shiny silver accessories were adhered to his open neckline, and the intricate embroidery depicted smooth muscle lines.

Not only did he tie the iconic Miao headscarf on his head, but he also had a shiny silver Miao knife strapped to his back.

Shaw: Isn't this to celebrate Qixi with you? Like you said, in Miao territory, it's only natural to go with an ethnic touch.

He raised an eyebrow without confirming or denying, then tossed a cloth bundle he had in his hand to me.

Shaw: I got a set for you too, try it. MC: We...are going to go to the set dressed like this? Shaw: Can't we? MC: ... It's not impossible.

Looking at his expression in this moment, I seemed to have caught a glimpse of the source of his displeasure these past two days.

Just like a little panda that had rolled around in the mud but then cleaned up its fur, ready to fight again with a satisfied look.

Amusement bubbled up from my heart and spread across my face as I opened the package and deliberately elongated my tone.

MC [playfully]: Mmm~ you're right. After filming for several days, I haven't even worn Miao ethnic clothing myself. I heard that the jewelry is quite troublesome to put on…

I hold the silver necklace in front of me and wink at him.

MC [playfully]: Shaw, can you help me?

Shaw tugged at the corner of his mouth, not revealing my little trick.

He leaned down and took the necklace from my hand.

Shaw [plays along with her]: It's indeed quite troublesome. I suggest you send a message to your colleagues, letting them know you'll be an hour late.

—

Luckily, by the time we finish fumbling with everything and arrive on set, the Qixi Festival shoot has just begun.

I shyly greeted the director and the crew before coming to the monitor with Shaw.

In the frame, men and women were dancing gracefully amidst fluttering petals, and the brilliant colors were almost blinding to the eyes.

The bright silver ornaments shimmer in the sun, and every time they dance, they will make a sweet sound.

I lightly bumped Shaw's shoulder.

MC: Care to give a comment? Shaw: I don't know how to dance, so I don't have anything to comment on, but… MC: But what?

Shaw: It seems like the costumes of two models are worn incorrectly. In Miao ethnic attire, the left lapel should be buttoned over the right. Shaw: And also, that couple in the corner, why is one wearing the style of Nan Dan while the other is in Hai Nan attire? Even though they're both Miao, their costumes don't match, do they?

[T/N]: Miao is an ethnic minority within China, they have many subgroups within the tribe itself, so their clothing style differs from place to place. The pair in the scenario, though they both belong to Miao tribe, one of them is wearing clothing style from the Nandan area of Guangxi, while the other is wearing Hainan (island) clothing style.

With Shaw's reminder, I finally noticed that the costumes of several models at the edge were indeed incorrect. I quickly pressed the intercom and called for a pause.

MC: It's a good thing we have you as a folklore expert. Otherwise, if someone notices the issues after broadcasting, our show would lose face. Shaw: Don't exaggerate my role. I just happened to grasp at straws on this archaeological dig. Shaw: We're also indebted to the old man being a key teacher in the Folklore Association. Otherwise, it would have been difficult for me to organize the preliminary information.

His tone was casual, but I knew that if he really wanted to delve into it, he wouldn't just lightly touch the surface.

With gratitude in my heart, I blurted out.

MC: It's been a hard time, right?

Shaw: Not bad, but digging soil is tiring every time. Shaw: Especially this time, we found the official seal of the Provincial Government Office and records of communication with the Miao King inside the main coffin. It successfully bridged the historical gap. Shaw: So it's worth the effort.

He spoke calmly, his eyes and brows lifted, as if whatever he put into something he enjoyed was willingly given.

We just watched the video on the monitor and chatted casually about what he found during the excavation.

Under his guidance, the original concept of the show suddenly gained a historical framework. I then adorned it with a more splendid modern perspective.

The scenes in the frame also became more profound and enchanting, radiating the colors of the ethnic culture.

The recording of the program was coming to an end, and I stretched out in a relaxed way.

MC: Phew~ you've been a big help this time. I feel that after the broadcast, everyone will surely fall in love with Miao ethnic culture! Shaw: I helped you modify so many program details, and you only give me verbal praise? MC: Then what do you want in return, just say it. Shaw: Of course, I want…

Before Shaw finished speaking, suddenly a staff member came to him in a hurry and patted him on the shoulder.

Staff member: Hello why are you still sitting here? Staff member: Stop interfering with the producer's work. Come with me. We're about to shoot the final cast shot. Shaw: ? ? ?

Shaw was confused by this overwhelming order, he took a look at his clothes, and then suddenly realized.

In an instant, his face went from red to green and then turned black, completing a full cycle. Then, he opened his mouth with a forced smile.

Shaw: I'm sorry, my friend. Shaw: I'm not a male model, I'm your producer's boyfriend. MC: HAHAHAHA!!

Amidst my uproarious laughter, the staff awkwardly left. Shaw ground his teeth, turned his head, and then launched an attack on me.

Shaw: How dare you smile so happily? MC: I-I'm sorry, I was trying to help you break the tension, but the male model is just hahaha … uh oh!

He grabbed my cheek, his half-squinted eyes suddenly coming close.

Shaw: Originally, I just wanted you to treat me to a meal, but now I don't want to let you go so easily. Shaw: Don't go to your class, from now on, you're kidnapped by me.

Without any further explanation, he pulled me and ran towards the set.

MC: ….!Where are you taking me??

Shaw: Just come with me, no nonsense.

Through the steel frames and dark arms, through the artificially scattered flowers, we headed towards the distant shade of green bamboo.

We did not choose the main road where pedestrians and vehicles line up, but walked towards the deserted path where no human habitation can be seen.

The rustling bamboo leaves brushed against our hair, and the clear sound of silver bells echoed in response.

Behind us, the sound system at the set played love songs softly, drifting through the clear sky.

"-Speaking of love leads to longing, speaking of intention leads to connection; When you gain the consent of your beloved, you won't think of change; When you receive the holy water, you won't let it go…"

"We are like a couple from the modern world who have crossed back to ancient Miao territory, doing the same things as countless couples of this land have done for thousands of years."

The dense vegetation and steep slope blocked our way, and Shaw drew his Miao knife, splitting through the tangled branches and leaping down first.

He sheathed the knife on his back, used his body to press down the obstructing slanting bamboo, and turned his head to look at me.

Shards of gold and bright silver shimmered, a sidelong glance carrying a smile full of meaning.

Shaw: Do you need my help? MC: Humph, I can jump by myself!

I pushed aside the low bushes and leaped down, while at the same time, Shaw extended his arms, allowing me to land perfectly in his embrace.

The scent of mint and bamboo leaves wafted in the sunlight, mingling with each other's breath.

I wrapped my arms around Shaw's waist and lightly tapped the tip of his nose

MC: This was you taking the initiative to embrace, not me, you know. Shaw: Mmm, yeah, you're right. After all, if I'm going to abduct someone, I might as well get the whole package.

✧[Section 4]✧

After leaving the bamboo grove and walking to the end of the hill, a medium-sized Miao tribe appeared before us.

Layers of exquisite bamboo houses were adorned with bright red lanterns, celebrating the festival. The scent of cooking wafted through the buildings, creating a lively atmosphere.

MC: Wow! Isn't this Tongxin Village? We actually managed to make it here!

Shaw: You have been here before?

Shaw looked at me with some surprise, and I nodded.

MC: Right, because this Miao tribe is well-preserved and not visited by many tourists, so our initial filming location was here. MC: We interviewed the elderly people here in the first episode, visited the ancestral hall, and even went to their dyeing workshop… MC: What about you, were you also here to collect folklore materials? Shaw: …I'm not that dedicated, but I found this place when I was wandering around because the lunch box of the archaeological team was really awful.

When Shaw spoke, he wrinkled his nose slightly unnaturally, and there was a hint of melancholy in his tone. I couldn't help but blink my eyes.

— Maybe he was planning to surprise me, so he brought me here, right?

But I've already been here, so I wasn't happy about it now?

MC: Pff…

Shaw: Why are you suddenly laughing foolishly again? MC: It's nothing... I just suddenly felt that classmate Shaw actually has such a cute side! Shaw: ? !

Hearing what I said, Shaw instantly had a ghostly expression on his face, and took a sharp breath.

Shaw [blushes]: I don't know what kind of medicine you took today, but this kind of teasing doesn't work on me, so I suggest you avoid using it in the future. MC: No problem, then I won't compliment you as cute in the future~ Shaw: ……

Seeing the expression on Shaw's face, if I continued teasing him, I might be subjected to his "poisonous hands," so I quickly changed the topic.

MC: Cough cough, so are we still going to Tongxin Village? Shaw: Why not? Shaw: Maybe there are things in the village that you haven't noticed before. MC: Is that so? Last time I wandered around the whole village, you know?

Shaw raised the corners of his lips after hearing my provocation, and pulled my hand straight away.

Shaw: Sure, why not? Since we've both been here before, let's see who can find more interesting things.

Walking into the village, both of us started showing off our findings to each other, as if presenting treasures.

The snacks here are delicious, the garden here is beautiful, the lazy cat with mandarin duck eyes sleeping on the street corner, the big buffalo with strange patterns on its buttocks…

Darn it, I wonder how exactly Shaw wandered around before. He managed to find so many things that the camera crew missed capturing!

Seeing that I was about to lose, I suddenly remembered a family I interviewed before.

Aunt: Oh, Little MC, why did you come over? MC: Hello, Auntie. My boyfriend is visiting me these days, and I thought of bringing him here to taste your homemade millet wine. Is that okay?

Their wine wasn't sold outside, and no tourists know about it, but it is famous in the nearby villages and towns for its good wine—— Now I can definitely turn the tide!

Auntie handed a full cup of millet wine in front of Shaw. Instead of using his hands to take it, he just drank it all in one go while holding the cup with his mouth.

Aunt: Yo, the young man is bold!

Shaw: I know the etiquette of toasting with guests.

After drinking the guest-welcoming liquor from the ox horn, I entered the house and together with Shaw, I tried glutinous rice wine, buckwheat wine, and more.

In the end, amidst Aunt's toast song, we also experienced a moment of the Miao ethnic group's "Lovers' Toast".

When we left Aunt's house, I had a triumphant smile on my face, raising my chin confidently.

MC: How about it, isn't my discovery quite significant? MC: Now it's your turn, huh? Don't tell me you're already out of ideas?

Shaw: How is it possible, there is a beautiful swing at the end of this road, you'll probably like it. MC: Swing? MC: No way. There's a swing in the village, our production team couldn't have missed that, right?

Seeing my doubt, Shaw slyly raised his eyebrows.

Shaw: Who knows, I found it anyway.

As Shaw said, we walked along the road until we reached the edge of the Miao village. Sure enough, beside a small stream, we saw a swing with intertwined flowers and branches quietly hanging on an old tree.

MC: It's so bright.....

Under the influence of intoxication, everything before my eyes seemed to be veiled with a soft, hazy filter.

The fresh flowers are intertwined on the rope, as if they have just been picked, and there are still a few fresh dewdrops on the petals, shining in the sun.

Eagerly, I sat on the swing and patted the space next to me, gesturing to invite Shaw.

MC: —Want to play together?

Shaw: MC, are you sure? If I sit on it, it will not be a romantic swing, but an exciting swing. MC: I'm going for an exciting swing!

I answered without hesitation, even puffing out my chest.

Shaw laughed, turned around, and sat down, he stretched out his palm and firmly covered the back of my hand.

Shaw: Let me help you hold on tight.

In the next second, I was lifted into the air by the swing.

MC: Ah—

The sudden weightlessness made me scream out loud, and then I pressed my lips together in dissatisfaction, making Shaw laugh.

I only dared to tug on the hem of his clothes to protest, but my breathing became tighter and tighter.

The swing is different from the ones I've sat on in the city before. The long ropes allow the swing to sway at a higher angle.

Together, down, up, down…

I closed my eyes tightly, without any protection around my body, the only thing I could rely on was his tightly clenched palm.

In the darkness, the clear sound of the silver jewelry swinging became more distinct.

And what is clearer is Shaw's breathing that is close at hand.

Shaw: Hey, why don't you open your eyes and take a look? The view is amazing. MC: No, no, no! Shaw: ...Coward, wasting my heartfelt efforts.

Shaw said these words quickly and softly, I didn't hear clearly, so I had to tug at the corner of his clothes again.

MC: What are you saying? Speak louder! Shaw: I said….

His breath drew closer, like raindrops, the scent of alcohol, and a kiss, all landing on the edge of my ear.

Shaw [lightly whispers]: Suddenly, I feel that you are also very cute. MC: ……!

The unexpected words made me subconsciously open my eyes, and the swing happened to be at the highest point at the moment—

Fine rain quietly falls, someone in the Miao village starts playing the lusheng, birds in formation fly across the distant green mountains, passing over the hillside where we came from, the bamboo forest…

Everything is captured by the eyes, the heart swells uncontrollably in that moment.

I looked at Shaw in a daze, and he grinned proudly.

Shaw: Wasn't my discovery the most interesting? I won.

_

MC: Uh, I asked you why you found me particularly cute at that time? I really care about it, could you explain it to me again?

Shaw: …… Shaw: Miss MC, you've asked three times already, and I've answered three times as well. The statement about you being cute was just a playful way to get you to open your eyes, to tease you.

On the way back to the Miao Village, I was still reminiscing about Shaw's words, and couldn't help but confirm to him over and over again.

And this guy was so inconsistent, the first time he answered that I was stupid and cute, and the second time he said it was to get back at me for calling him cute…

Hmph, I don't you believe you.

Walking with a light and cheerful step, we turned a corner and happened to encounter the winemaking old lady and her son.

Aunt: MC, are you also going to the bonfire party? MC: That's right. At the evening party, I was planning to enjoy your wine!

While I was chatting with the aunt, her son also came to Shaw.

Youth: Boss Shaw, are you satisfied with that swing? MC: ……? Youth: Your order was quite urgent, you said you wanted it sturdy and beautiful, so we rushed to buy a lot of flowers to wrap around it yesterday!

Shaw coughed in embarrassment and waved his hands again and again.

Shaw: Well, I'm very satisfied... You've worked hard. Youth: Haha it’s not hard, you know your girlfriend is my mother’s friend, we should make the swing more luxurious!

When aunt and the young man left with smiles, I poked fiercely at Shaw's chest in annoyance.

MC: Shaw! You cheated! MC: No wonder I was wondering why there wasn't a swing here before, and suddenly one popped up. So, it was you who hurriedly came here to set it up yesterday! You, ugh…!

All my backlash was blocked by a kiss from him.

What kind of a man is he who cheats and gags when he has a guilty conscience!

I had originally intended to silently criticize like this, but the afterglow of the setting sun fell upon the vibrant lanterns and his bright eyes, creating such a splendid sight that I lost my determination and only wanted to indulge further.

Shaw pressed against the tip of my nose, his smile was full of evil intentions.

Shaw: That counts as a tie for today. If you want to compete in something else, I have plenty of time in the evening.

—

⚡ Call 1

⚡ Call 2

[boroughshq]

Welcome to the community bulletin board! Here are some events happening around the Boroughs this month:

April 1: April Fool's Day Special @ Punchline!, the Bronx

April 3: Run the River 5k @ the Bronx River, the Bronx

April 8: Solar Eclipse Viewing Party @ Manhattan

April 11: Pet Meet & Greet @ Prospect Park, Brooklyn

April 13: Scrabble Tournament @ Puzzles, Manhattan

April 22: Pot Painting @ Glazed Finish, Brooklyn

April 24: Scream Queens Marathon @ Technicolor Theater, Queens

April 19-21: April 26-28 BoroughsHQ Event 002: Art Festival (POSTPONED)

April 30: Tie Dye Fundraiser @ Tiny Tots, Staten Island

Continue reading below to find descriptive blurbs of each event. As a reminder, community events are optional events for members to use during their threads throughout the month of April.

April 1: April Fool’s Day Special at Punchline!, the Bronx

What better way to celebrate the national day of jokes than with a slew of professional jokesters? Join Punchline! for an hilarious one-night only lineup of some of New York’s brightest up and coming comedians! Laughs start at 7, and will keep on rolling all the way through to midnight!

April 3: Run the River 5k, Bronx River

In celebration of National Walking Day, non-profit organization StrideForward proudly invites you to join them for a scenic walk (or run) along the Bronx River! The race starts at 10am. All runners earn a complimentary medal upon completion, along with photo opportunities, healthy snacks, and a DJ playing them out at the finish line to boot! 

April 8: Solar Eclipse Viewing Party, Manhattan

For anyone not trekking to the Adirondacks for the total eclipse, you’re welcome to join in one of the many partial-eclipse viewing parties occurring around the city! Including one hosted by a well known local astronomy club, The New York Galaxy Patrol, in partnership with the Empire State Building! Ticket admission includes a pair of safe eclipse-viewing glasses and a solar themed cocktail drink. With music playing and a selection of food and drinks to purchase, guests are welcome to sit back, relax, and take in the sight of this remarkable occasion.

April 11: Pet Meet & Greet at Prospect Park, Brooklyn

Pet lovers rejoice! The Pet Lovers of New York (Brooklyn) Facebook group has scheduled a meet and greet for National Pet Day! All owners are welcome to mix and mingle with other owners — and don’t forget to bring your little ones with you! Pets ranging from dogs to birds to reptiles and everything in between are welcome!

April 13: Scrabble Tournament at Puzzles, Manhattan

For just a $30 cover, YOU can sign up to join in Puzzles’ Scrabble Tournament, in honor of National Scrabble Day. Starting at 2pm, join in as the entire foosball table section has been cleared out to make space for Scrabble tables. Winner of the tournament gets a weekend of FREE DRINKS from the establishment, and their name on the bar’s blackboard for ultimate bragging rights. Spectators welcome!

April 22: Pot Painting for Earth Day at Glazed Finish, Brooklyn

Happy Earth Day! To celebrate, Glazed Finish is offering an array of different sized plant pots for painting, all at a discounted price! 

April 24: Scream Queens with Technicolor Theater, Queens

Classic Scream Queens are taking center stage at Technicolor Theater for Scream Day. Enjoy the latest horror movies of today on the indoor big screens, and an assortment of classic horror films on the outdoor projector!

April 26-28: BoroughsHQ Event 002: Art Festival** Postponed to early May!

A festival of colorful spectacular, soon to take over the boroughs over the weekend of the 19-21 (& a week of ooc writing between 19-26). More information to come! **No threads allowed until week of event.

April 30: Tie Dye with Tiny Tots, Staten Island

Tiny Tots is throwing a fundraiser for a brand new playground! Support the cause by purchasing and dying your own t-shirt or pillowcase with them on National Tie Dye Day. The craft experience may be a little overpriced, but the proceeds all go to a good cause, and you get to have a fun tie dye experience!

Admin Note: The above events are all optional events that members are free to use as the setting for threads throughout the month of April. Though each event comes with brief descriptions, writers are free to manipulate and take liberties with them however they like for their threads. Additionally, writers are not restricted to only writing threads on the dates of the events listed; you are free to create threads around these events and post them whenever you like during the month of April.

[blurredblonde]

BUCKET LIST, including the strange, the wild, the weird, and the borderline undoable

Go to a nude beach

spread eagle naked towards the sun

use Pinterest business to do brand links and get any amount of $$ from that alone

go to a pole dancing class

try hot yoga

do a burlesque show in Melbourne

post an animation to youtube

start a webtoon

learn to sew

get an apartment by myself

get an apartment with friends

post a shitty homemade music video in a lana del rey way with the help of friends

get a perm

visit coney island

be 125 pounds

get a the dachshund tattoo

post a vlog like im famous

be a extra in a movie

act in a gay indie movie like norman reedus

go to a gorillaz concert

get a snake

get a record player

meet a sugar mommy

go to a jazz bar alone

get a dressed up like a old hollywood star and go have a night on the town

get my license

own a mustang

ride a motorcycle

go to a mosh pit

go to a rave

get black out drunk

go skinny dipping

publish a art book

own a beach house

get a red gingham bikini

take a slutty picture in a american flag bikini and post it to instagram

go diving with whale sharks

be a art director on a project

do a mural on a wall

complete a painting on an obnoxiously large canvas

make a pop song with no knowledge of music or mixing

work on a big animated film

Do a boudoir photoshoot

party in paris

do a full cosplay

pet a pigeon

get a scuba diving license

explore an abandoned building

kiss a stranger

get in a fist fight

flash my boobs at something

attend a figure drawing class

be the nude model at a figure drawing class

receive fanart of my own characters

create a reel showing school doodles

be the cinematographer for a project

take a history class

be a dive instructor

post a animation meme to a jack stauber song

go on vacation all by myself

have sex

be in a youtube video

go on the video side of omegle

visit japan

go to a film festival

jump off a pier

do a pin-up photoshoot

go to an acting interview

heh

open an online store

do artist alley at a convention

cross country roadtrip with friends

stargaze on top of a car

invest in stocks and real estate

go on a cruise to thailand and thrift there

go to the new york library

visit bora bora

learn to play guitar

draw on the sidewalk with chalk

nurture and take care of a plant

grow my own food

get chickens

join a club in uni

take a pottery class

work out in a gym

surf a barrel

buy a surfboard

meditate for 50 days in a row

travel in a van

fly first class

go on a blind date

buy and fill a photo album book

kiss in the rain

do a thirty-day photography challenge and post the whole thing

explore the woods by my house

go to a ball/masquerade party

host a dinner party

say yes to everything for a day

grow my hair past my ass

become mildly fluent in french

attend golbeins animation workshop

buy an obnoxiously large rug

smell the tomford cherry perfume

get a Brazilian wax

get henna done

go to Brisbane museum by myself

get my i.d

go wine tasting

visit Miami

Meet my online best friend

dine at the ritz

go on a gameshow

do tent camping

win a sweepstake

create a artist porfolio/website

be featured in a gallery

go to okinawa

learn to ballroom dance

ride a horse on a beach/ and or backwards

go to a country club

bake a pie

buy a tourist t-shirt

do a escape room

live in Santa Barbara

stay in cape cod

belly dancing class

get my art viral on tiktok

do a commision

buy a fancy wardrobe

have a room with a slanted roof

sleep in a pool in an inflatable pool

snuggle with nurse sharks

bayonetta mui mui glasses.

go out in a pair of high heels

do a show at a convention

stay at the madonna inn

do lesbian handkerchief flagging in public

do a 'nude' photoshoot

own every sims 4 pack

complete a sims4 generations challenge

play subnautica

swim a motel pool at night

pick a girl from a bar

get a drinks bought for me

smoke a ciggrette

try mixology

get a hickey

have a friend or myself sew vintage patterns

wear a tailored suit

buy real cowgirl boots

bathe in a heart shaped tub

take a rose petal bath

stick a polaroid of myself somewhere public

use spray paint

do a vintage glamour competition

own a house with stain glass windows

go to a cathedral

get pink lace curtains

paint a room

milk a cow

replay Detriot become human

do a live stream

do a lesbian event like a cruise or smth

go to a pride parade

participate on a float in a parade

be a scare actor

act in a play

see a broadway show

shoot a gun

drive a convertible

see lana del rey in concert

do modelling work

do a commercial

buy a sewing machine

drive the road without directions

write a screenplay

submit a film for a competition

pitch an animated show

take a opportunity that scares me

do public karaoke

buy a shitty 2000s camera

get a boat license

buy a boat

go to a random diner

sell clothes on depop

play a drinking game with mates

stay in a hotel with mates

do a draw my life

do a drawing for each section of my Pinterest board

get my fortune told/ future read

buy some mega flare jeans

post a picture of myself to Pinterest/ start a 'me' board

buy some colorful tights

get blue streaks through my blonde hair like aquamarine

drop in on a skateboard

buy a castle

party at Hearst castle

post another fanfic to ao3

dress up in a slutty Halloween costume,its a rite of passage

bake and decorate a fancy cake for someone

[canmom]

L’Aventur de Canmom à Annecy - Jeudi 3: White Plastic Sky

This is a Hungarian dystopian scifi film. I didn’t know much more than that going in...

Friends, Hungarian animation is on fucking fire at the moment. Hungary has a long tradition of incredible animation (AN157), and it seems it continues right into the present - both the Hungarian films I’ve seen this festival (the other was Four Souls of Coyote) have been great. And tragically I haven’t even been able to catch the Marcell Jankovics one!

So, this is a rotoscope film with really detailed shading - I don’t know if they used Rotoshop per se, but it’s a similar result to A Scanner Darkly. The rotoscope characters move through a CG world. The CG models are fairly light on detail, but it has a fantastic sense of design and really strong cinematography, I love the way this is shot.

Right, so what’s it about? Actually it was pretty fun going into this story without knowing the details, so I’m going to place the spoilers below in a cut. Going in what we know is that almost all life on Earth has died, and in Budapest, when you turn 50, your body is turned over to the government, for... reasons we find out pretty soon but still, below the cut!

So, the only way humans survive is by something called the Seed, which when implanted into a human body, causes them to gradually turn into a tree. Budapest, under a large dome, operates under a strict law: when you turn 50, your life ends and you are implanted with the Seed and taken away to the ‘Plantation’ to become a tree. These trees provide food for the citizens of Budapest, as well as breathable oxygen (although whether the atmosphere outside the city is breathable seems to be a little inconsistent).

Our story follows Stefan, a psychiatrist, whose son recently fell ill and was implanted. His 32-year-old wife Nora, distraught at the loss, decides to undergo a ‘voluntary implantation’, taking on the Seed without Stefan’s knowledge - essentially a slow suicide. Horrified and unable to accept her decision, Stefan sets out to try to save her. He’s heard a rumour that there’s a way for the seed to be surgically removed, so he has someone called ‘The Captain’ forge papers that will get him into the Plantation under the cover of a psychological assessment.

There, Stefan sees how the human subjects are processed, unconscious, and transformed into trees, how the leaves are harvested, etc. He also learns that after three years, the trees create a deadly pollen and must be burned. So Stefan makes contact with a scientist Dr. Madu who has been researching a way to partially implant the Seed, without requiring the death of the subject. It turns out the surgery exists, but not at the plantation - but for Madu, this is an opportunity to reach the old professor (I forgot his name) who invented the Seed, so that she can bring her research and put an end to the cruel system. Madu and Stefan extract Nora and make their escape, but Madu is shot by security, so Stefan has to travel on alone with Nora and Madu’s research. Nora must avoid water and sunlight to arrest her transformation, which makes the journey extra complicated.

Nora wakes up en route, and at first is furious at Stefan overriding her decision. Gradually she comes around, and decides to go through with the plan to have the Seed removed. The pair travel by train from a ruined city to the lab of the old professor, and discover that he is taking care of two of his children who have become trees, burning their buds every night so the pollen doesn’t sprout. It turns out that Nora can communicate with the still-conscious trees, who experience what the professor is doing as torture. Nora starts causing the trees to bud, and the professor, desperate to save humanity and civilisation, sets the trees on fire - but meanwhile Stefan becomes convinced that the trees are actually an evolution that should be allowed to grow across the world.

At the end, Stefan implants himself, and walks with Nora into a pool to welcome the tree era.

As sci-fi, I’m not really convinced this premise all works out, but ultimately it didn’t matter because the film really sells it. The performances of the main cast are excellent and subtle, it doesn’t lean away from conflict, and I love all the little glass bubble cars and other little details of the world. A lot of its vibe reminded me of Solaris, although it’s less oblique than that film. And the rotoscoping gives it a really unique feeling of weight and presence - it’s cool to see another film pick up that torch from Scanner Darkly.

So yeah good shit. Keep it coming, Hungary.