#Feels like I'm being loaded into a simulation

[belethlegwen]

I honestly can not stand the fact that in order to keep up on the lives and what's going on with my RL friends and family and stuff, I have to use Facebook and scroll through a wall of posts that is 75% sponsored/"suggested" posts, most of which are just random AI generate images and galleries just to see if any of my friends have posted in the last couple of days.

Even pages I've been following forever have slowly just becoming random AI posts and it's so uncanny and so wildly upsetting. "Oh damn, someone made really good fanart for a thing I like? I can't wait to-- oh it's AI."

Literally sucking the love and joy out of me rn, I can't lie. I miss seeing people actually create, I miss seeing my friends. It feels like I'm being fed a fake world of fake people and fake art and I'm just supposed to accept it for... what reason? Advertising? What is this selling me on?

Sorry for the rant, but especially as I'm getting into the holiday season and this is like, the one way I can keep up with my friends casually, it's just super getting me down.

[bloggingboutburgers]

I think everyone will benefit from properly tagging posts. xreader fics abd ship fics ONLY include the relevent _x_ tags but none of the character's name on its own, allowing all the usual fanart, theories and such to stay on the main name tag and not be crowded out by horny fanfiction (I say this as someone who very much enjoys very horny, very smutty xreader fanfictions. I want to be able to search the fics I want directly without having to trawl through headcanon posts, fanart, unrelated ship posts, etc.).

No one really has a tailored experience on the internet (I'm glad tumblr is at least a little more user dictated than advertiser algorithm based), but I do get the frustration and discomfort that comes from the abundant hornyposting feeling inescapable.

It's tempting to take offence to persistent cries against xreader stuff. I like special POV episodes of shows for the same reason I like xreader fics. My favourite characters WERE the company I kept, my only real form of companionship (albeit simulated) for many many years. Not because I am allo, basically. I sought something to meet my social needs growing up where I was unable to find community or companionship in real life.

Unfortunately, because they are usually sexual in nature I just came to associate a need for human connection with sex (so am I allo or just conditioned to blend sexual, platonic and romantic feelings and actions together?). I was just happy to feel like I had someone to hang out with. I knew they weren't real and that I needed to find real people to connect with (not for lack of trying, kids are just cruel. Finally made friends as an adult, yay).

Didn't intend for any of that to be so sad or pathetic, but hopefully it gives context for the prevalence of xreader fics. Alongside the varied reasons people write / read them (no just blind allo horniness), especially in light of the widespread loneliness epidemic over the past decade.

It's still more than ok to not want anything to do with them either (be it due to being aroace or not - I know plenty of allos who find xreader fics cringe).

Something I need to clarify here – we get it. Well, we don't fundamentally get it, but trust me, we've been told time and time again why people would write/draw/be into xreader content (it's all part of the package of "aroaces MUST put themselves in allo people's shoes at all times"), and we know they're perfectly legitimate reasons, and we don't find it sad or pathetic, or cringe. At the very least I don't at all. That's not what it's about. It's not something as surface-level at that.

The thing is... The same kind of understanding effort is VERY rarely put forward in return for us. And the fact that we're perceived as naysayers is symptomatic of this. We're not crying against xreader content. People are free to do whatever they want. We just want it to be tagged to keep ourselves safe, and so we can appreciate some variety and find fandom content we can properly connect with with the identity we have.

The issue isn't that there is xreader content, or heck, that there's lots of it. It's that, as @kaoruko-han put it, "everyone is assumed to be into this", and that you can't express something as simple as "I'd rather read something else" without being finger-pointed as a villain.

Yeah, no one has a tailored experience online, but there's still a very clear lack of balance on what is acceptable to tailor to or not (and for us, that includes tumblr). And trying to find fan-content while being sex-repulsed? Bruh, you'd better pray on your lucky stars and be ready to trudge through an ocean of stuff that's loaded with the very thing that makes you scared, uncomfortable or downright triggers a feeling of sickness in you, because a lot of it ain't tagged. An alarming amount of people don't bother, because why would people like you exist, right? There's only ever them, and puritan bigots. It's that black and white in a lot of people's heads.

Here's the difference though: we, too, want people to be able to vibe to whatever fan content they want. We just wish "people" included us properly in this case. As it stands now, trying to find fan content that won't give you an uncomfortable feeling as a sex-repulsed person feels kinda like this (I'll try to illustrate that to the best of my ability as a vague comparison, please no one take that as a clear parallel, I'm literally just trying to explain how it feels in a way people who have no idea how it feels might understand): you're not into gore at all, you don't wanna look at it, but your streaming platform keeps recommending you those series that are loaded with gore. You try to filter it out, but no matter where you go, you keep being recommended those series. And no one ever gets your discomfort and you're being branded as nothing but a wet blanket for not wanting to see gore. It's kinda like that.

At this point I admire sex-repulsed or romance-repulsed people who still TRY to find anything at all in fandom spaces. I've stopped reading fanfic altogether and I've largely stopped engaging with the large majority of fandom spaces for those reasons. And that wasn't an easy choice, or one that I find fun because it feels incredibly lonely, but it's the result of years of exhaustion and strain on my mental health trying to navigate something that's so hostile to me at its core, even if it's unintentional.

So... Yeah. We know the reasons, just like the content itself, they're kinda impossible to ignore. But we are largely being ignored in this, and it's not just something at an "ick" or "picky" level ; for a sex-repulsed person, being spammed with sex entails much more than that. It's not even frustration anymore at this point, it's downright despair a lot of the time. So... Yeah, like you said, everyone would benefit from stuff being more properly tagged. For us it'd be so huge to know our safety is taken into account – that we're taken into account at all. Thing is, we're not, and we're so invisible in this and most other things that at this point, I don't have much hope. Sex-related controversies allo people can understand would sooner create a change than anything done for our sake.

[exn0bis]

So. Completed Veilguard. I have lots of thoughts.

Regardless, I don't think I'd be saying anything that hasn't already been said.

For my part, I went in with the expectation it was going to be bad. I was pleasantly surprised by some things, certainly by the technical aspects, but it fell about where I expected in most other ways.

But first, the good.

It was extremely refreshing to see a AAA game actually release so well optimized for once. I'm running an older system at this point, with a GTX 1080 TI. Even so, out of the box, I was able to run things on the Medium preset perfectly. After some troubleshooting the latest Nvidia driver, and updating the games native upscaling to FSR 3.x, I was running things on a mix of High & Ultra with minimal to no frame drops. This was way beyond what I expected, and made the play experience more enjoyable. While I do think that, like many games in the past few years, there is some over reliance on upscaling to make it look its best, Veilguard still maintains excellent visual fidelity without it.

On that note, the game is objectively gorgeous, regardless of how one feels about the art style (which I did personally like, too); I'm also extremely impressed how they adapted a simulated strand hair system into something playable in real-time without it being overly taxing. Would love to know the technical breakdown for that specifically, but either way, I would not be surprised if we start to see more games released with something similar going forwards.

Veilguard very much proved you can make something look gorgeous and still have it be playable on more than just the latest and greatest systems, and I hope it will encourage more studios to focus on how they optimize and implement their work.

I also found the general gameplay mechanics to be, overall, enjoyable. I was hesitant going in, as I'm 1) bad at games, and 2) from a CRPG background, so the real-time style of combat is not generally something I'm good at. I was also concerned about the stripping down of party mechanics, etc, that was a big part of the previous games. And while I do wish the party tactics had been a little more varied, I ultimately found combat fun and responsive, and that they struck a reasonable balance between simplicity with party, and overly tactical. It did have way too many buttons & combos for me, but that is definitely a me being bad at games thing and not a fault in the game.

I also was extremely impressed with how smoothly the game transitioned from gameplay to cutscenes, and I really liked the more open maps/elimination of excess loading screens.

Unfortunately, that is about all the praise I have for the game.

I'm not really going to talk too much about the complete disregard for the world state built by previous titles, because I think all that needs to be said about that has been. I agree that, from a development standpoint, they needed to find a way to simplify things. However, going so totally scorched earth that character creation literally states "you don't need to customize your previous choices if you don't want to because it doesn't really affect anything" only serves to insult and infuriate the very dedicated player base.

It's very clear that the goal of Veilguard is to wipe the slate clean for the purposes of rebranding and bringing in new players for future installments/capital. Considering the mass layoffs at Bioware, and EA's generally established business practices, this sort of tactic isn't really surprising, no, and was truthfully only a matter of time. But that doesn't stop it from feeling like a slap in the face.

That being established, the total disregard for existing lore, world state, impact of previous titles, glaring plot holes within Veilguard itself, etc, is unfortunately to be expected. No point in picking it apart individually, as it's all just a symptom of the goal of a clean slate reboot.

Which isn't to say I wasn't cursing at my screen by the end of it, but I digress.

I had hoped I could at least enjoy the game as something new, turn off the part of my brain that associated it with Dragon Age and just play it as a stand alone thing. This even worked for the first chapter or so, as I was really enjoying the exploration and gameplay. And then I started recruiting more people. And the main plot started to really get going. And turning my brain off suddenly stopped helping.

The writing is awful, full stop. It's all incredibly surface level and sanitized, and it treats the player with such ineptitude I started to feel like the game had actual disdain for me for trying to play and enjoy it. If I had a dollar for every time an NPC explicitly repeated a plot point or goal immediately after a cutscene that had already painfully spelled it out for me ended, I would have recouped the price of the game three times over. I get that reading comprehension is at an all time low, but holy shit. I paid for a sweeping fantasy narrative, not a degradation simulator that treats me like a moron.

If we manage to put that aside, we're left with a narrative that spends every spare second trying to convince you of how high the stakes are and how important your relationships will be to get through it... and then never actually manages to deliver on any of it. The game repeatedly shies away from showing you anything actually bad, or building anything actually meaningful.

Yes, we see the Blight being gross and a few choice deaths, but that's it. The mass devastation we're told is constantly happening all over Thedas? The staggering amounts of death taking place? The oh-so-vile practices and punishments of our main antagonists? Anything and everything that has to do with the extremely prevalent theme of slavery? That all happens off screen, if it happens at all. Somewhere nice and clean and safe for it to exist, sanitized of any tension or emotional impact. I cannot decide if the flagrant pacing issues in the narrative are a product of the missing tension, or their own problem.

And those important relationships we're told about follow the same pattern. Even if we ignore how everyone speaks to each other like they're reading the script of an HR Workplace Togetherness video, their personal stories are devoid of the stakes we are assured they have. I wanted so desperately to care about the things these character's cared about, but I left still unconvinced the character's themselves even gave a shit.

And with a shallow plot comes a shallow character; I felt no attachment to any of them, despite telling myself they'd grow on me as I progressed. Of course, I also didn't dislike any of them, either; I just didn't care, and I find that infinitely more damming.

I think what I find most frustrating is that the potential in the characters is there, at least. They're each interesting concepts with interesting themes, and every so often I'd get a cutscene that actually got me to feel something, to react, and I'd get excited thinking 'oh, this must be when it gets good.' But no, as soon as you're out of the cutscene, it's situation normal again. No more feelings, no more tension. That all happened off screen, again. Any emotional turmoil the character in question was in moments before is now gone in favor of Group Togetherness.

Rook is no exception to any of this, either; exactly as tepid as the rest, but coated with an even less polished illusion of substance. This is not helped by the fact that the game makes an active effort to remind you that Solas is the actual main character of this story. Rook, you as the player, are just sort of... there.

The headcanons I've seen from fans do more justice to this entire cast than the game ever does.

In summary, it's sad, I think. It's ultimately what I expected, but it's sad. Many of us have a very deep attachment to Dragon Age, the story and the community that built up around it. I literally met my wife through the Dragon Age fandom. I learned to explore some deeply personal things about myself through how I related to the story and characters because of how much depth and nuance there was to examine. To see all that reduced to what amounts to a very prettily polished turd is just... yeah. Sad.

I'm really happy that there are people who have enjoyed the game. Genuinely. I hope they'll continue to do so. Myself, I'll probably still go on a screenshot binge and enjoy how pretty it looks, too. But Veilguard is very much the end of Dragon Age, for me. And I'm sad about it.

[inbetweenknacksandnooks]

saHSRau - My Personal General World Building

I really like the Self-aware HSR Au. I didn't even know that self-aware AUs were a thing until I saw Valerie's Idle Chats, and (I can't find them now, but when I do I'll say their name)'s saHSR talking about how eidolons more-or-less help them become more self-aware, and they said the reactions of all of the HSR characters and how they would act with each eidolon level-up (but you're a no-roll account, so it's only the free characters). I love both of these to this day, and only spiraled from there.

Each saHSRau has their own set of rules, and how it works. There was one that made it so that self-awareness increases with Eidolon level. A few where for some reason or another, you, or your games are cursed to be self-aware. There was even a super-creative one I saw where instead of simply one person having a saHSRGame phone, the game itself is self-aware, and every single player is more like a star that offers encouragement and leveling-up. More like an interconnected-support-system! There's been some really sad angst that I 100% approve of for HSR, too! It's great!

So, with that all said, I've decided that I'm going to lay my ground rules for my personal HSRsaau here, under the cut:

AU Building.

Part 1: Ground Rules and General Awareness

Self-aware does not mean sentience, as every character in this AU is already sentient, including NPCs.

Self-aware instead means that they're aware of the player (you), though the degrees of just how aware they are differ.

Every single character that you've gotten via warping is self-aware. There are some characters that you haven't gotten that are self-aware to a degree, e.g: Certain bosses (mostly rollable ones (Sam, Gepard, Kafka, Yanqing, Bronya, Argenti etc), Alternate forms of characters you can roll for (Svarog, Sunday's Boss Mode, Aventurine's Boss Mode etc) and ones that would ordinarily have human consciousness but aren't rollable (Cocolia, Phantylia etc). POV Characters (Sparkle, Robin, Aventurine, Acheron, Topaz (Dan Heng on the Luofu also counts, even though there wasn't an explicit POV Switch button) etc). POV Characters are only aware of you when you're playing their POV. and characters that you can interact more-directly with, via UI (March 7th's Hunt form during the event when you try to make her stronk, Eris the receptionist in the Belobog Museum quest, and Siobhan via the drink-making menu).

Even among these NPCs/Bosses that I've listed, they have differing levels of self-awareness. For example, the rollable bosses have a higher awareness of you when you're fighting them than Cocolia or Phantylia would. In addition, they're not aware of you at all when you're not fighting them. The bosses that have human consciousnesses, but aren't rollable, aren't even sentient during the Echoes of War, since they're basically dead. So they're only aware of you during their boss fight until you kill them in the story. However alternate boss forms of rollable characters do NOT follow this rule. Even after you defeat Boss!Sunday during the story, he'll still be aware of you during Echoes of War fights.

Think of Echoes of War fights as Purgatory. Simulated/Divergent Universe fights DO NOT count as being self-aware, since everything there is all coded and not reflective of HSR's "reality". If Kafka gets defeated in SU, she's not gonna feel it in actuality.

When the game is open and is at the Main Menu, is when your characters feel a sort-of presence around them, and when you actually start it up, the characters stop whatever they were doing and take their "places", hence the loading screen.

When you're actually in the account you're currently playing, your characters can hear you, along with whatever is around you, and at Eidolon levels 2-or-higher, your characters can actively see you.

Microphone and camera rules apply, meaning that they're technically seeing through your phone camera, so if you just cover up dat bad boi they won't be able to see you.

Now, where they see you/where your face is.

Rather than it being constantly-present, or changing with your camera angle, your characters more-or-less just need to want to see your face to look at it. Think of it as finding out you could move a part of your body you didn't know you could move until now.

They can choose to fullscreen your face in their head if they want, but by default it's more like a mini-facecam that they can see while fighting or walking, until they "close the mental tab" so-to-speak.

You might recall that I said your characters don't get in their positions until after you've selected your account & pressed play.

This is mostly because if you have multiple accounts, like I do, it gives them an opportunity to know which account you actually want to play on, before actually getting back to position.

If you exit out of HSR by pressing the home button, and go to another window, like YouTube or Google Chrome, then your buddies will hear audio from whatever tab you're in, along with your microphone (so they'll hear what you laugh to if you're watching something funny or something)

Also, they won't be able to see through your camera in this mode, and if they try to, they'll only see whatever window you've opened, instead of through your camera.

Eidolons are more like a "trust level" measurement. With more eidolons your characters feel like they can trust you more and more, leading to the Eidolons benefits for their combat, along with benefits for them beyond a higher combat prowess (I'll get to those benefits and changes in Part 3)

Characters that you have borrowed from your friends (like during CoC, Calyxes, or EoW) are not sentient in the slightest, nor self-aware, as you're not their "Guardian".

If your friends use your characters often, don't fret, because your characters aren't aware of it, either. It's more like a dream/day dream they have.

To sum up Part 1's AU Building:

Every character in the Self-Aware HSR AU is sentient. Self-aware means that they know of your existence, not whether or not they're sentient.

All characters you've rolled for are self-aware, along with rollable boss characters, alternate forms of boss characters, and POV characters. Some other characters with a unique UI that you can interact with in special ways are also included.

Echoes of War are like purgatory to rollable self-aware boss characters, like Sunday.

If a character dies in the story, they're dead irl and aren't Sentient throughout Echoes of War.

The Simulated/Divergent Universe enemies and bosses are not connected to the sentient characters, as it's simply code within HSR.

Characters you've rolled for can hear your through the microphone. If they have 2-or-more Eidolons they can see you through the camera.

If you have HSR's tab/game window open, and keep it open while you open a different window, the characters can hear whatever audio it plays in conjunction with yours. They will be unable to see your camera in this mode, however.

Eidolons equate to trust level. Part 3 explains more.

Characters that you've borrowed from your friend are not self-aware when you're fighting with them. Neither is your characters when they're fighting for your friend. Your characters are likely unnerved by the non-sentient character that came from this "friend" of yours, especially if you already have the character.

Part 2: Your "Role"/Your General Effect.

All of the characters you have, feel different about you, and when you'll logged off, gather up and talk about what you are, what you do, and why you're trying to strengthen them in the first place.

You "controlling them" in terms of where they walk to and move, is more like them getting a strong urge to move a place in a certain way. At Eidolon levels 3-or-higher, rather than them getting an urge to go to a certain place, it's more like them letting you take the reigns to where they move.

A variety of feelings and sensations are crossed, different to each character.

Some feel you as a warm blanket, others more like a calm breeze, a guiding light. Funnily enough, some even feel you as a nuisance, since you're constantly taking them out on adventures when they need to work, or would much prefer to find out what you are from afar.

But none of them hate you, and they feel a fleeting feeling of dead space around them when you leave.

Ones that frequent your teams are the ones that feel this comforting presence you give the most, and are aware of what you're capable of, and hope to never leave your side. You make them strong, sure, but you do much more than that.

You persist and persist to help them accomplish their story-quests and goals, do your best to level up their traces, give them the best stats in relics. Make them complete. There's a certain kind of admiration they have to you at that point.

While they're aware that you're a higher power that's making them stronger, they don't firmly know that they're in a game (SCREW YOU EXISTENTIALISM!). At the very least they can theorize about it, but it's only a hypothesis.

To sum up Part 2's AU Building:

You're not "controlling" the characters, and it's more like a strong urge and they're unsure what it's caused by.

The urge completely goes away after they get their 3rd Eidolon, and it's mostly just them letting you take the reigns. They can stop moving or move by themselves whenever they want to.

Whenever you're interacting with them (playing as them, having them on your team, making them stronger in the menu), they feel your "presence", though what exactly this "presence" feels like is different to each individual character.

Though some might be annoyed by you calling upon them to fight, none of them want you to leave them forever and overall feel better when you're around them.

None of them know that they're in a game, and it's simply a theory that a few of the characters have.

Part 3: EILODON LOOOORE!

Eildon means, "An idealized person or thing". I mentioned earlier that Eidolons are basically their trust level towards you. They have certain goals they want to accomplish, and ways they want to improve themselves, and they give you their trust for various different reasons.

Some think you might be an Aeon, some see you as a friend that'll help them reach higher heights, and some might just see this as an exchange or a means to grow stronger, and give you their trust so that you can help them modify their equipment, or gain a new power.

Here's the stages of Eidolons and what they do:

E1: The easiest to get. The character probably decides, "Well, whoever this person, Aeon, thing is, they don't seem to want to harm me. So I'll give them a little bit." Thus, you become a warm acquaintance, and they feel a warm wave of power wash over them.

E2: They decide that they want to know a bit more about you, hearing you through your microphone, your laughter, whoops and hollers, "awh! Dannng!"s has sparked their interest. They trust you a bit more since you're so unfiltered towards them. This desire to get to know just what you are, who you are has unlocked the ability to look through your camera to see you, or whatever else your camera might be showing. Additionally, if you put HSR in the background and open a new window or tab, they'll be able to find out what you're looking at and watching!

E3: Now knowing a bit more about you, and trusting you more, they realize that you're the feeling that's guiding their intuition, which leads to them knowing more about the world you inhabit. Due to this, they're also aware that they can move on their own, even if you're guiding them, but they allow you to take the reigns most of the time, since they now have far more control over what they do, or where they go.

E4: They can get access to your apps, most of the stuff you browse (Incognito and Guest mode not included). Though they can't open up anything themselves, and can only access your currently-opened things.

E5: Now that they trust you much, much more, they figure that they might as well try to make your life a little easier. Expect a few extra credits, material and even stellar jades you didn't know you even had to start appearing!

E6: Now fully given their trust over to you, they can sense when you're phone is turned on, open up HSR to encourage you to play, and almost have omnipotence on your phone/computer, including the ability to watch what you're doing, even without HSR being open in a separate window.

No, I'm not summarizing this. This section is pretty short.

A/N: I'm not entirely sure I like the last 3 Eidolons, but I can't think up anything else atm, sooo, :p.

Anyway with the current AU building up and settled, I'll... uhh... hm... I don't actually know what I'll do!

I'm not very good with AUs and AU stuff, especially when the reader in question isn't active in the AU.

I'll probably just say what the gals of HSR think about all this, and call it a year or something.

[frostedshore]

I'm a sims 3 girlie and I'm gonna make a long post abt my experience as a NEW sims 2 player. I know nobody cares about this but this is my blog I can do whatever I want!!! And I wanna write appreciation for sims 2.

Ok so first of all, playing ts2 from ts3 is HARD. I underestimated sims 2. Before playing it, I already have prejudice that it will have less content than sims 3 & that the experience of playing sims 2 will be boring bc there is less lifetime goals, no traits, and less gameplay. And I was right. The first time I played sims 2, I found myself getting bored playing with Strangetown. My first gameplay was playing 1 rotation with all of sims 2 strangetown households & I thought to myself "damn i really have to force myself playing with so many households so everybody age up." I closed my game & think so myself "yep. I'm never gonna play sims 2 again." Don't get me wrong, the story of Strangetown is AWESOME. But the lack of gameplay makes me feel like i'm stuck with doing the same mundane tasks again and again for a week with every household (ex: making sure my sims got promoted, taking care of needs, socializing). I admit that going on dates are more fun in sims 2 but it isn't enough to hook me.

Tbh I can't play sims 4 bc it feels like dollhouse simulator. And sims 2 feels a little bit like dollhouse simulator too at first. The reason why I love the sims 3 so much is because of the sims 3 skill challenges. I love that if you play the guitar in 10 parties you will get a bigger tip every time you perform for tips in public. Or if you do an interaction for a certain amount you will get special perks. This is the same reason why I love playing stardew valley and feel so much joy when my character fall asleep & level up their farming/foraging/fishing & unlock new craftables/abilities/gameplay.

But then I tried giving sims 2 a second chance, and this time I play with open for business & this EP CHANGED MY LIFE. OFB is the best sims EP ever. The gameplay is SMOOTH & I've never felt so much joy from playing ANY sims games. It's so awesome bc we can make any business we want! And I eventually fall in love with sims 2 rotational gameplay when I do a BACC challenge & made my own hood with 4 founding families where each family have a role & businesses. Farmers in my hood own a grocery store & my restaurant owner buy his ingredients from them. I also make my 'mechanic' sim service sims, meaning that when I'm playing with another family & their plumbing broke, my mechanic sim (who also run a business where he restore junk cars) will come & fix their plumbing for them. Everyone's life is intertwined and they all need each other. My mayor sim also collect money from the households, and once the mayor have enough money to build a new park, the townies will have more places to visit. So I'm always motivated to make each rotation counts & tried to make as much money as possible.

After playing TS2, i'm not sure how I can go back to playing sims 3. Climbing the corporate ladder with sims 3 job now feels meaningless and sims 3 outings SUCKS. But I am still frustrated with the lack of gameplay sims 2 have compared to sims 3. I just want sims 2 to have all of sims 3 gameplay & it'll be my ultimate dream game😭 (yes now i prefer sims 2 graphics + rotational/aging system + loading screens + the freedom to decorate the hood + etc.) I just need sims 2 to have more skills, opportunities, skill challenges, interactions, and traits & I won't even look at any sims games that are being developed like paralives/inzoi😭 I really do think sims 2 found the formula for the perfect life simulator, but it's flawed. Anyways if you're a sims 3 girlie who only ever played sims 3, do give sims 2 a chance :D You won't regret it!

[qwertyprophecy]

The Illusion of Aggravating Player-ness

Pictured above: demo footage of me attempting to hit the Hero when their dodging program is turned to maximum. (I can only test this for so long before getting annoyed, which is exactly the vibe I'm going for.)

More about the feeling that has inspired The Dark Queen of Mortholme under the cut:

A couple years back I happened upon a tumblr post identifying a surprisingly common sentiment when playing Pokémon. The player has an edge over NPCs in battles for basically the entire game, because unlike those silly programmed losers we've figured out how to use healing potions. So upon getting to end game and witnessing our first case of the NPC trainer healing their Pokémon to full with a hyper potion, it feels like such bullshit. How come they get to do that? Only I get to do that!

There are instances of little details in many other games that evoke a similar emotion, like this one boss in Sekiro who can sneakily counter the player's charged attack with a move that till then only the player has been using. (Please let me know if you personally recall any examples!) The sheer audacity of non-player characters using player-only moves, being annoying as I am! It's a deliciously strong reaction that goes beyond the game's difficulty ramping up; I think it's about recognising ourselves, the essence of distinctly player-like behaviour in this fictional entity made from code.

While thinking about that I also happened to be mulling over what I considered a huge missed opportunity in the end boss of the game Katana Zero. Without spoilers, let's just say that it made me consider whether it would be even remotely doable to create a narrative boss fight against a player-like entity who appears to get to save and re-try the fight by themselves. In Undertale there's a brief illusion of a NPC saving and loading game states, but they don't quite do it like a player would.

The illusion would have to include a feeling that your opponent not only gets to try again but is learning from their mistakes. Furthermore it's specifically an advantage they have over you; you don't get to try again, nor do you get room to improve. And unlike them, your preprogrammed skillset is designed to have exploitable weaknesses and a static power level which can be surpassed.

No matter how skilled, you'd be doomed to lose against an opponent like that. The bosses we beat have it rough, huh. I myself am not particularly good at video games–when I try to get past a difficult boss fight in any game where those are designed to take a fair amount of attempts and learning, I feel in my bones that meta-level story of striving to overcome a seemingly impossible obstacle. It's a journey through various emotions from eagerness to frustration, culminating in the triumphant success.

But from the boss's point of view, that story takes a very different shape, involves different emotions, and (assuming the player keeps playing) invariably culminates in a predestined loss. Sounds unfun. So obviously, that's the experience I aim to provide! (Unfun games really are my forte, with my previous work simulating jubilant experiences such as job hunting blues! anxiety! exam anxiety! trying to fix a spaceship engine that's killing you!)

Who wouldn't want to enjoy being the most powerful being in their universe until some little dipshit bursts in and locks you in an unending battle till they’re satisfied and you’re dead?

[thedeviltohisangel]

All The Things I Did (4): The Only Thing That I See

a/n: ok this is the one i warned you guys was horny but i'm sure its actually to our benefit. this is setting up the next couple big plot pieces: harding's arrival and his past with cass, john demoting himself to fly again, cass' next mission and a whole lot more. happy to chat about any of it//we had a great little sleepover in my inbox and i saved a couple to answer over the next few days. more interludes in the chute, submissions still open, and a new masterpost pinned to my blog. happy reading!

When Mary knocked on Cass’ door before the sun was out and warned her it was pancakes for breakfast, it meant the men were flying today. She was looking forward to this raid in particular as the coordinates for the U-boat pens had been passed to her by a new potential source during a previous trip to Belgium. Surveillance planes had confirmed their location but it meant that Colonel Huglin would want her to brief prior to wheels up. John wasn’t flying but he would be watching. She wanted to impress him. Offer him a little bit of insight into the work that she did. Show him the bumps and bruises were worth it if it brought the war to an end even a moment sooner.

He wasn’t outside waiting for her to get breakfast and her heart fell but she knew he was busy. A piece of her was curious what John Egan, Air Exec behaved like. She imagined he was more stoic and held quite the presence. Or maybe he was exactly the same and more of a pain in the Colonel’s side than anything else. Cass smiled to herself as she walked toward the HQ offices. Yeah, that definitely seemed more like her John.

----

He was rifling through papers when she entered the bullpen, calling out headings to the navigators and dodging orderlies delivering cups of coffee. She dropped her jacket off at her desk without anyone noticing and approached the map with small airplanes meant to simulate the raid. 

“A few degrees to the east, gentleman. Otherwise, you’ll miss the last loading dock.” Her fingers nudged the group of planes in the correct direction then she stepped back and let the stares wash over her. Deep breaths, Cass. You know you’re right.

“Gentlemen, surely you’ve all at least heard of Lieutenant Cooper. She is the one responsible for locating these pens for today’s raid.” Some of them nodded with respect, others rolled their eyes or scoffed. Most of them seemed ambivalent. 

“I’ll be at my desk should any questions arise, Colonel.” Yet all of them could agree on staring at her backside as she walked away. 

“You make a habit out of embarrassing the brass the morning of a raid?” She paused her typing with a smile and walked around her desk to meet him in the doorway. There were wildflowers behind his back and she gripped his chin to pull him down for a kiss. 

“Good morning, Major.” John hummed with pleasure before going back in for one, two, three more kisses. 

“Morning, doll.” His voice was huskier at this hour than she was used to. It sparked right between her legs. “You thought I forgot?” He produced the flowers from behind his back and handed them to her. As she did every morning, she brought them to her nose and blushed like a schoolgirl. 

“First mission as Air Exec. Wouldn’t have blamed you if you did.” John stepped deeper into her office, closing the door behind him, as she tucked the latest bouquet into a vase on her desk that was already filled with his previous gifts. 

“Would feel better if I was going up as a squadron commander.” 

“You would say that.” Cass jumped up onto her desk, welcoming John between her legs with some light scratches on the back of his neck. “I, for one, am happy you’ve got two feet on the ground today.”

“That’s very selfish of you, Lieutenant Cooper.” He stepped closer and kissed her slow. Deliberate. Decisive. Dangerous. He kissed her like he flew. “I’ll stop flying when you stop spooking.”

“But then I wouldn’t get to see you all hot and bothered over my well being again.” John licked his lips as she fiddled with the knot of his tie. Cass wasn’t sure what was coming over her if not, just simply, the allure of John Egan. They had claimed each other publicly. All that was left was privately. 

“Did that turn you on, Cass?” She nodded, pressing her chest against his as her tongue slipped between his lips and stirred an ache within him. “Do you like that they could walk in on us at any time?”

“Fuck, John.” Her lips moved to the column of his throat and he groaned at the nipping of her teeth. She was tempted to have him take her right there on the desk. He was tempted too. Wanted to rip those thin, tantalizing panty hose from her legs and hike her skirt around her waist. Had fantasized how soft the skin of her thighs would be. What she would taste like. How she would sound as he worked her over the edge again and again and again. 

“Cass, baby, I want you so bad.” She was intoxicating. A siren at sea. At this moment, he was powerless to deny her anything. 

“Then take me, sir.” God, he could die a happy man. He was pushing her skirt up her legs, Cass spreading them wider as she leaned back onto the desk and pulled John down with her when there was a knock on the door. 

“Major Egan? Lieutenant Cooper?” Cass collapsed onto her back, panting with pent up tension, John catching himself with his hands on either side of her head. 

“Just a minute,” John called. He dropped his sweaty forehead to her shoulder in defeat before standing to his full height. His mouth ran dry with a tease of lace, Cass tugging her skirt down to hide it from his starving eyes. 

“You like lace. Noted.”

“I think I’d like anything that was on you.” He grabbed her hands and tugged her closer. “Or off you.” No longer able to control herself around John Egan, she stood on his toes and pressed up into his lips once more. 

“Major Egan-”

“Jesus fucking Christ!” John stormed to the door and threw it open. “Private, I said we needed a minute.”

“Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.” Cass chuckled as he scurried away, adjusting her jacket and grabbing her briefing materials from the drawer. 

“Don’t go scaring them, John. We need young men to want to stay in.” 

“He’ll be fine. I’ll apologize when your spell has worn off a bit.” 

“Oh? There you go with that witch motif again.” He followed her out of the office, out of the building and into the daylight. 

“Has to be some kind of explanation for the way you’ve got me wrapped your finger like this.” She stopped and turned to face him.

“Maybe it’s love, Major.” His retort went right back down his throat. How the fuck did she know? He had tried to say it the other night but had since thought better of it. He couldn’t risk scaring her off. 

“Maybe.” She read the yes behind his maybe. 

“Maybe,” she repeated, whispering. “We should go inside.” John nodded, stepping closer and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“I just need one more minute.” It was a moment John had never really thought about. The moment you realize the woman you love, loves you right back. He wanted to engrave it in his mind, heart and soul. Never forget this feeling with her. Carry it with him until he didn’t have to be afraid of losing it anymore. “Cass? You mean a lot to me, you know that?” 

“We’ll make it through this, John. Together.” He kissed her one last time before heading, because how could he help himself, the sound of together silencing all the doubt in his mind. If only for a little while.

----

Cass sat quietly along the side of the room as Colonel Huglin unveiled the target for today’s mission and the unfortunate low-low position that the 100th would take. She looked around and tried to read if any of the men seemed nervous or had any understanding of what was about to happen to them. They were doing a good job of keeping it all at bay. 

Eventually her eyes landed on John as they always did. He had recovered from their earlier tryst remarkably quickly. Cass was nearly positive she would need to replace her undergarments at the first available instance. Looking at him now only added to her need to shift and adjust in her seat. Back home, men were either ruggedly handsome and good with their hands or politely coiffed and intellectually impressive. For John Egan to somehow embody both was a figment of all her desires. 

He caught her staring out of the corner of his eyes. Offered her a smirk and would have blown a kiss if he wasn’t sitting in the front row. As if she could read his mind, she blew a kiss of her own. John pretended to catch it and slip it into his pocket. 

“Our intelligence officer, Lieutenant Cooper, will take it from here before Captain Becker delivers the weather.” Cass stood to the sound of whistles and cheers, a low chant of ‘Spook’ spreading throughout the room. John smiled but kept his decorum. Though that blush on her cheeks was going to make him go mad.

“Thank you for the warm welcome, gentlemen. Lights please.” The room plunged into darkness save for the screen she was using to deliver her brief. “Please note there are both naval and ground based anti-aircraft assets located along the Frisian Islands. Towards the mainland, you can expect concentrated flak from here all the way down to Bremen. Sources tell me they are radar enabled so they will have the capability to track you.” A hand shot up in the crowd.

“Ma’am? What kind of artillery are we looking at?” 

“88 and 105.” She paused to see if there was follow up before continuing. “The most important aspect is your target to the northwest of Bremen if I could have the target map, please.”

There were no further questions, John standing to the side while she presented the bombardiers and navigators with supplemental files for the run. She didn’t offer them luck or tell them to fly safe. Just told them to remember their training and stick to the headings she had given them. Anything else would be empty words.

“I think they were very thoroughly briefed, don’t you?” Cass laughed as she gathered her maps and placed them back in her folder. 

“Surprised I do more than run around Europe and get shot?” John looked at his shoes sheepishly but his jovial tone seemed to have slipped away.

“Shouldn’t joke about getting shot, Cass. Kind of scared me when that happened.” She touched his cheek gently. 

“Once they all take off and you’re done being a leader of men, you can sit and read my report if you like. I’m positive your imagination is worse than the truth.” At least, she hoped it was. “You should go talk to Buck. Give him some parting thoughts.”

“You’re the one who told me there are no words to describe it.”

“Not to warn him or guide him. Just remind him why he’s going up there today and why he will again every time after.” His smile was tight lipped. Her words were very carefully chosen to not reflect the truly dire nature of their circumstances. He appreciated her for it. She held onto that quality as long as she could. Beyond the German surrender and the atomic bomb and the curiosity with what came next. But one day she would have to break. And she knew John would be there. He’d always be there. Had to.

----

It was a couple hours later when he found her again. She looked like she was fighting sleep from behind her typewriter. John couldn’t help but admire the sight, almost regretting the gentle rap of his knuckles on her door. 

“Leader of men here for Lieutenant Cooper.” She acknowledged his presence with a smile but kept her chin in her hand. “One plane back with mechanical issues. Just a waiting game.” 

“You’re not good at patiently waiting, are you?” 

“I think I’m being pretty patient with you. With us,” he added as he motioned around them. “An impatient man would have taken advantage of your offer this morning.” Cass scoffed and sat up. Good. John liked when she was at her full capacity to spar with him. Sometimes, he said something just to get her to banter. 

“You only didn’t because of that poor man that knocked on the door!”

“Well, he’s not here now.” 

“So, what’s stopping you?” She looked at him expectantly. As if she was actually curious if he would just sweep her desk clean and take her right then and there. She would let him. 

“Time. Need to make sure there’s no limit to how long I can take.” Cass liked the sound of that. John taking his time to work her up and up then over. Not just once. Maybe not even twice. She knew what she would be thinking about all night.

“A consolation prize then?” There was a red folder dangling from her fingertips. “It can’t leave this room.” John took it, taking a seat with enough distance from her to keep his head clear of sinful thoughts. 

She typed away quietly as he read, something domestic about the whole thing that made them both incandescently happy, only the occasional grunt of concern or impressed hum slipping from his mouth. 

“They teach you how to do all this at spook school?” 

“Most of it. Some just has to be instinctual. Kind of like your piloting. There is only so much to learn in a training environment before the real thing has to take place.” He looked down and reread the lines about the information she had received. How she had written the tangible impact these identifiers would have on the war. Wanted to skip over the part where the local police followed her after her meeting. How they turned her in and she took a beating but convinced the interrogators she was just lost. How she made her tourniquet out of ripped cotton and a stick. 

“Cass, you’re fucking incredible, you know that?” 

“It’s always nice to have a handsome man tell me.” Their thoughts matching, she met him on the other side of her desk and accepted his kiss eagerly. 

“We always find ourselves here,” he said with a sigh, her cheek fitting in his palm and his thumb resting on the top of her cheekbone. 

“Are you complaining?” 

“Never.” He leaned back in, ready to seal the world off once more, when the sirens ran off. The planes were back. And with them, the real world.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

hi Elanor! I'm going to be Wales for the first time (and am wildly excited), do you have any recommendations for things that really shouldn't be missed in the Cardiff area? (please feel free to disregard if you don't feel like being a virtual tour guide, I've just been seeing your abundant enthusiasm for Wales on my dash for years and can't wait to visit myself)

:D :D :D

I'm doing so much for the Welsh Tourist Board today! They should pay me.

Okay, let's think... A lot of it will depend what you're into. Do you like history and heritage stuff? Wales is extremely rich in castles, so there's a whole load around there - Cardiff Castle, obviously, but also Caerphilly Castle is the second largest in Europe and has a fun leaning tower, while Castell Coch is just west of Cardiff and was built by a lunatic who wanted his castle to Look Right, and so features the sorts of parapets, towers and moats that a cursed Disney princess would be happy with. Said lunatic also built the Animal Wall around Bute Park, which is a lovely park just left of Cardiff Castle in the city centre.

Also St Ffagans Museum, that's in west Cardiff - that's one of those living heritage museums, so they've taken historic buildings from around Wales and very carefully, brick by brick, moved them into St Ffagans to preserve them. They've made it into a little village though, it's so cool (honestly I could write an entire post about St Ffagans alone). Aim to get there for mid-morning so you can buy fresh bread from the popty in the village square, they've usually run out by about 1.30. The sweet shop does GREAT lemon sherbets. There's a lot to see (including a couple of Eisteddfod Chairs :D), so wear comfortable shoes for walking. They also have a high ropes course, and various specific events.

And, Caerleon Roman Museum, north Newport. The Romans built a lot of forts in the UK which became towns, but only three fortresses, and only where vitally needed because of Extremely Restive Locals. Caerleon is the biggest of the three, and in the Mabinogion, that's where King Arthur's fortress is - Caerllion. Whole sections of it are remarkably well preserved, including the little amphitheatre, but they built an actual museum over the top of a chunk of it; it's pretty cool.

OH ALSO do you want to go down a coal mine? Big Pit in Blaenavon will take you down an actual literal coal mine. You do not know darkness until you have been down a coal mine. There's also the Rhondda Heritage Centre, which doesn't take you down but has built a coal mine set above ground and last time I went featured one of those rollercoaster simulators.

Leisure stuff: four different escape rooms, if that takes your fancy; technically six but avoid City Mazes and Play At Pins. Cardiff Bay is swanky as fuck (albeit the most expensive part of Wales, which is... still less expensive than London) and includes things like the Millennium Centre, which will have various shows on. Also the Millennium Centre's cabaret area is currently liberally coated with photos of my husband. Oddly oppressive presence. Unsettling.

Cardiff International White Water does white water rafting/tubing, kayaking, that sort of thing - super fun if you aren't terrified of water. Cardiff International Pool and Gym has some fun slides. Techniquest is a big science centre.

Oh, and as ever, if you want to do one of those guided tours there are a billion to choose from in Cardiff. Including a Doctor Who one, if that floats your boat.

Anyway I hope there is something useful in there!

[sillystappen]

HELLO

i was wondering if you can do max as a singer and not a driver

i wonder if he can be MARINA and he interested in f1 and goes there to watch the races

HIHI!!!

Singer!Max huh? Ok I see you.

And mother of god did figuring the logistics of this AU hurt my brain :')

Ofc Max would retain his interest in F1 heck I might even make him kart when he was a kid but drop out for angsty lore reasons. Naturally this would make his relationship with his father very strained and almost nonexistent if it weren't for the fact Max still hasn't blocked his number. He spent most of his kid/teenage life with his mum and sister in belgium and thrived in music classes, having a natural sense of rhythm and being able to hear the layers in a song. He still watches F1 on tv and becomes a Daniel fan after Spain 2014 - Daniel's first podium, though he also is team Rosberg when brocedes happens (no reason other than I like Nico Rosberg)

As for his music type honest to god I can see why you would say MARINA as those lyrics can definitely be Max coded but genre wise and looking at her performing idk if that fits the Max vibes bc I wanna keep him from going too OOC. But not in a total stray from the idea of MARINA, I propose... Conan Gray. Still kinda indie vibes (and I love indie) and there's a lot of desiderium songs as well as full on pop bops and hopeless romantic stuff which give people some good emotional rollercoaster concerts. However these songs and albums release date will be manipulated to it my narrative because trying to align a calendar with an interesting plot and those songs just was too much...

For Daniel and any race settings, I am thinking of using the 2021 season. Which I'm sure you all are thinking: Silly, what would be the 2021 season without Max in it? Wouldn't it just go to Lewis without a fight? And I thought long and hard about it, looking through the grid and reserves to see who if anyone should take the seat that Max originally had and... it's Daniel. You heard it here first folks this baby is a Daniel never left Red Bull fic too. Using this Mr V's Garage's video, I borrowed the simulated 2021 season between Norris and Sainz and made it Lewis and Daniel (who will ofc win) with 3rd place going to Checo (because i like checo) and 4th Bottas. As for Abu Dhabi... there's no way it won't be controversial come on.

I imagine a meeting between Daniel and Max would be him getting paddock passes after saving up and ends up being recognised by Daniel at the Belgian Grand Prix. At this point he has he has had Kid Krow out for nearly 2 years after saving a crap load of money from royalties and a birthday gift from his sister he finally had enough money for a paddock pass over a grandstand ticket (but holy fuck those things are expensive). He meets Daniel who is like "holy shit you're Max Verstappen! Wearing my DR3 hat?" and Max feels like holy shit is very much correct because Daniel knows who he is?!?! Queue both of them having a fanboy moment and Daniel admitting he cried when he heard heather for the first time. But Daniel has to be pulled away so he gives Max his number and invites him to the garage (much to christian's chagrin but hey, number one golden driver championship contender privileges). Max totally nerds and Daniel thinks its cute and the mechanics are surprised by Max's knowledge.

They go on "friend-dates" to get to know each other properly and surprisingly (to them not to us) they click really well. Daniel invites him to GPs and Max invites Daniel to music video sets (they sneak Daniel into an MV and if you look close enough you can see him in the background) and a lot of trips to the recording studio. The internet being the internet picks up on this and are like AIN'T NO WAY OMG WORLDS COLLIDING all dramatic like that. There's even TikTok edits and a small tumblr community (hi) about them.

Then one day Max goes on an interview and is asked about Daniel. "He's probably the best person in my life right now, outside of work and family. Gosh, I've been a fan since 2014, and my sister will tell you I yelled pretty loudly when he won in Canada that year. But the Daniel you guys see in media is only half the story. He's kind and considerate and generous and a really comfortable person to be around and I am glad I bumped into him in Spa. He's been my rock as I work on my newest album."

Hashtag maxiel starts popping off a lot more mainstream and Daniel calls Max after the interview to tell him how sweet and lovely he is and as he gushes Daniel has the 'oh I love him' moment, like actually in love and not just a how a fan would. He doesn't say it, of course, but the penny has dropped.

For Max, the 'oh I love him' would be when they're back in Daniel's hotel room post race (that Daniel won ofc) and they're sat on a sofa in front of a quiet TV playing some sort of movie when Daniel falls asleep on Max's shoulder. Max looks down at him and just knows 'i love him' then and there. It's a quiet realisation, and one he is content with.

As for how they get together, it's one of the times Daniel is in Max's recording studio listening as Max sings, completely entrapped. When Max finishes and sits down next to him, he asks what Daniel thinks Daniel doesn't hesitate to say he thinks Max is amazing and that the song will be a hit, but suggests a few tweaks to the instrumental. Max takes this seriously and appreciates the honesty, kissing Daniel's cheek as thanks. It was the way Max looked at him and gently held his face that has Daniel sitting there for a moment before going fuck it and properly kissing Max.

They don't announce their relationship until Daniel after wins his second championship in 2022 but spend the rest of 2021 and the entirety of 2022 soft launching it and teasing. Daniel posts photos of Max hugging him in Abu Dhabi 2021 and lots of photos of them hanging out in winter and summer break. The F1 media catches Max in the paddock and Red Bull garage a lot and Daniel at the Superache tour in late 2022 (what about the tour? what tour? the early 2022 world tour? yh that didnt happen I'm just adding a couple songs from there into the superache setlist). Max also posts a video of Daniel lipsyncing to Overdrive whilst holding a deodorant can and standing on a bed.

The actual announcement spooks the F1 world more than the music one and at first it's a lot for them, the questions and the prying, the demand to know it all and of course the homophobia but they get through it all fine and dandy.

Oh and Jimmy and Sassy? They give Daniel the seal of approval the moment he shows up offering pets. And that was the only outside opinion that ever mattered.

{I may flesh this into a full on fic, but I also might not but I liked your idea anyway and wanted to put the concept I created into the world! I hope you like it.}

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

I need more Adamsapple fluff atm so have this

Guardian Angel AU

Lucifer taking Adam to camp together for a week.

How he and his boys used to go together as well as his whole agoraphobia and anxiety and fear of leaving his home made Adam see camping as torture over time but Lucifer managed.

Adam felt the familiar tremble of anxiety creeping into him with each item he packed into his bag for the week ahead. His hands shaking with each item knowing where they were going.

Lucifer wanted him to try camping with just the two of them. He told Lu how he used to take his boys when they were little and before everything went to shit. How they'd look up at the night sky and name all the stars, Cain and Abel would chase fireflies, they would roast marshmallows and tell spooky made up stories.

The memory made Adam smile sadly, a tear fell down his cheek. He missed his babies so much......

With a shaky breath Adam trudged on, this would be the first time he's gone camping in years. Hell, first time he's left the house to be anywhere else in years. Somewhere far away, they were going to go camping about an hour's drive away from his home so he can't just run right back to it.

Adam stopped packing and pulled on his hoodie as if bringing the material even closer to him will simulate his boys hugging him.

It doesn't, it never does.

And Adam would be doing this sober. Which was a hard task in and of itself, the only other place he had gone sober was to the grocery store one time.

Maybe he could quickly sneak a hit, a sip, something just to take the edge off. Lucifer won't know if it's only a little right?

It was as if the man across the hall could read his mind, there was a knock at the door.

Adam: C-Come in.

Lucifer came in and smiled: Hey bud, you almost ready?

Lucifer wanted Adam to pack his own bag, even if it took him a while. He needed to do things, even small things like this for himself again.

Adam: Yeah I think so.....

Lucifer placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, he didn't miss the microscopic flinch that Adam had.

Lucifer: You're doing great Adam.

Adam gave a wobbly smile: Y-yeah?

Lucifer: Yeah, want to help me load up and we can go?

Adam nodded, he had everything he thought he needed and zipped up his bag. With each step towards Lucifer's car his anxiety screamed at him to go back inside, lock the door and never leave again.

But he has to do this even if it's hard Adam knows he has to try. Even if he doesn't make it the whole week.

Lucifer kept an eye on Adam the whole drive to the campgrounds. He was a little twitchy and likely nervous. If Lucifer had to guess everything was being internalized.

So Lucifer turned on some music and that seemed to help, they even talked the whole way.

Lucifer: You doing okay?

Adam: I-I'm okay.

Except for the fact that his heart was thundering in his chest. When they finally got there Adam got out and the fresh air hit him in the face.

It should make him feel better but it made him feel sick, it wasn't home. His home. His safe place where no one can hurt him.

What if he gets eaten by a bear?

Adam felt a hand grab his gently to ground him back to reality. He flushed when he saw Lucifer standing there holding his hand. It was a great comfort to Adam, having Lucifer literally hold his hand.

Lucifer: We're here to have fun remember? Let's start out slow and pitch the tent.

Adam smiled: Okay.

This was going to be a long week but if he had Lucifer by his side to help him through it then maybe Adam would be okay.

((I didn't know if you wanted to rp this. But if not I can add more to it.))

[bearbait-adventures]

RvB Pacific Rim AU: Day 3 @rvbrarepairweekdos

Where the AI are all Jaegars, and the Freelancers are all pilots.

Think about it. The inevitable closeness that comes from being inside someone else's head the compatibility testing. The potential for hurt of losing a partner.

Maybe Freelancer is experimenting with AI to remove the need for a second pilot, but it goes wrong. Maybe that's what happened to Washington. Epsilon ultimately failed and left the neural load all on Washington's brain, leaving him with brain damage and then removed from the program, demoted. Caboose is the only pilot on record for defeating a Kiaju while solo-piloting a Jaeger. At least, that's what the files said. Washington has read all of it. Most of it was redacted, however. It's probably a bunch of top secret nonsense anyway. Washington's convinced, though. If anyone can get him back in the cockpit again. It has to be Michael J. Caboose. Caboose at first glance, well he looks impressive. He's built like a tank, it got Washington's hopes up... And then Caboose spoke and any hopes Wash had in the man, died right there. At first anyway...

Washington is terrified, his training simulation has hit scarily close to home and his mind is spinning, spiraling, he can't make sense of it. He's chasing the rabbit in his own mind, what's left of Epsilon's memories leading him on a chase that never ends. he can vaguely make out someone talking to him people shouting orders around him, but it's like he's in a fishbowl. He can't make it out, it's just echoing sound. Nonsense. Something big, a body, a person moves everyone else away.

Initializing neural handshake. Handshake in 3... 2... 1. Washington hasn't drifted with another living person in a very long time. He usually chooses to train with "Sarah" the brain in a jar, she's less volatile no real or fresh emotions. So when the drift shifts to include this new person. There's a rush, like jumping out of a plane stomach swirling adrenaline as the two minds become one. And then it's calm. Suddenly. Everything is still. A wide ocean in front of him reflecting the moon and stars above. He can't explain it but he just 'knows' the ocean is deep and he 'knows' that it's covering something. Something that he should never uncover. A deep sorrow. Handshake Successful! 100% and holding. "Hello, Agent Washingtub." He feels the big man. He's covering him, he's protecting him. Relief floods his body like he's never felt before. like Caboose is holding the world up around him. "Hello, Caboose." Washington can feel the smile, He can feel how happy he just made Caboose with something as simple as a grateful hello. "You were... Chasing the bunny... You know... You shouldn't do that... You could scare it away." Caboose chides him in a way only he can. "I'm sorry, Caboose. I won't chase the rabbi- bunny again. And Caboose?" "Yes, Agent Washingtub?" "Thank you. Michael." "You are... Very welcome... David."

[shiftertech]

"One day, we'll all dance in the link."

The silent hallways of a steadily transiting haul-ship, lit by dim red lights and clusters of stars outside its view ports, are disturbed with the muted footsteps of a pilot's off-duty sneakers. Her steps are light as she breaks the cyclical night curfew, keeping to the less frequented corridors. Most of the night-crew are just performing navigation, sensors and engineering tasks—a skeleton crew.

From her pocket, she fetches a small handheld device. Provided by a trusted mechanic, it's loaded with a simple program which spoofs a valid night-shift keycard, and then runs an exploit which should clear the auth logs on the access panel before it reports back to home. They said it was a simple hack all things considered, but that stuff was never her forte.

The door to the drop hanger was right ahead. As instructed, she held the device to the flat grey panel affixed to the wall, and to their word, it flashed a quick green and then a blue as the logs were wiped. The door opens with a hiss, and the pilot wastes no time crossing the threshold and striding towards her destination.

A bulky frame, with sleek lines and medium range armament, sits patiently in its transit harness just in front of her, nestled amongst other frames of similar design. Pock-marked burns from a long history of combat sorties remain visible as marks of experience. Emblazoned on the shoulder plating is an insignia featuring the head of an African wild dog from the old world, and the mech's name"Pictus" in bold lettering. She reaches out and trails her fingers down cold alloy skin, whispering gently.

"Hey lovely, I missed you."

Transit time doesn't permit much link time between pilots and their mechs, seen as wasteful up time for a mech confined in a tightly spaced drop harness for extended periods of time. The routine maintenance already makes sure that the mechs will be ready when it comes time for them to drop into hell. Perhaps it makes sense in a budgetary and combat readiness context on some detatched and dull report somewhere in the navy archive, but fuck if it doesn't leave a pilot yearning.

There's movement from behind Pictus, and panic briefly spikes within the pilot before giving way to recognition. A mechanic—her mechanic—glides towards her with a pretty smile dancing on their lips. Pretty enough for her to rush forward into their arms and steal it with a kiss. They hold eachother close, shadowed by Pictus; a mech which they mutually pilot, care for, and love. Pictus flickers her idle light nestled into the torso hatch, and the pair smiles, understanding intention in the gesture.

"Oh, she definitely missed you," the mechanic replies on the mech's behalf, motioning with their eyes to Pictus, "was being a real brat with fault codes earlier this cycle."

A light giggle gets muffled into the mechanics shoulder, the pilot swaying with her partner. It wasn't often they got to spend time either between pilot simulations & briefings, tight maintenance windows, and other operational busy work. Their relationship gets caught in the middle of it, and she'd be lying if she said it didn't cause hardships between them. All of that goes away with the way they drop a kiss into the short curls atop her head. Even when they eventually pull away from the embrace, she still feels like everything is just right. There's just one missing piece...

"Alright, I'm sure she can't stand waiting much longer with you here. Let's get you linked up before she decides to break loose from the harness! You know she hates being in standby for too long," they say amusedly, turning towards Pictus. Twisting and pulling hard on an embedded handle on the torso, they reveal the cockpit behind the heavy hatch. A well worn seat, system control panels, and a neural link harness sit dormant inside. The mechanic helps their pilot climb inside, the pilot sporting just a t-shirt and sweats as she sits down on the seat of their machine of war.

"Let's wake you up a little," the pilot says, eyeing the controls around her. She first confirms that ground power is connected and active, poking the rotary switch with a finger in affirmation and noting a green light. Then came the internal running lights, and bringing the pilot assist intelligence out of standby mode. Finally, a single switch remained: the toggle for the neural link. She patiently waits while her mechanic climbs in with her.

The mechanic straddles their pilot in her seat, while their calloused hands reach behind and above the seat, snatching the end of the link harness. They bring it to an embedded metal port in the back of her neck, caressing it sweetly with a hand, while they lean their forehead against hers. Their eyebrows furrow.

"If only I could join you both..."

And the pilot surges forward to kiss them, affirming and lovingly. She reaches a hand behind their neck as well, tracing a circle with her thumb, roughly the size of a neural interface port, over unmarred skin. The pilot whispers into their lips, spoken like a promise.

"One day, my love. We'll have you augmented too, and we'll dance in the link together with Pictus."

They open their eyes, seeing their pilot gazing deeply at them. They believe her. A smile tugs at the corners of their mouth and they remove the hand from her neck. With a notchy click, they firmly fit the harness cable into her nerual port. She briefly winces in discomfort, the feeling of metal bumping against metal within her never feels amazing, but it's followed by a satisfied smile as she knows the only thing left holding her back from Pictus is a single switch.

Her hand reaches over instinctually, but is stopped short when her mechanic grabs it. She looks at them, their soft gaze melting her heart then and there. They guide her hand over to the switch, her index finger just behind the small metal lever. With one final kiss of her mechanic lover, she flicks it, and the link opens like a flood gate.

lovelovelovelovelovelovelove

LoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLove

LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE

Data flows, and the link echoes a feedback loop of feelings and emotions, as a machine of war welcomes her loved pilot home, and she feels just as strongly. It's an exclamation, a declaration, a bio-technical embrace, and it is everything.

The mechanic watches their pilot slump in her seat, a goofy smile growing by the moment as she runs abandon within the link. They curl up into her lap, resting as close as they possibly can to their two loves. They drift off and dream beautiful dreams of dancing in the link with all of them.

[saltyyuuri]

🪻In another life 🪻

Iso x fem! Reader

PART 8

PART 1 - PART 2 - PART 3 - PART 4 - PART 5 - PART 6 - PART 7 - PART 8 - PART 9 - PART 10

Words: 3900

Warnings: mention of blood- mild violence and mental health. It's going to be angsty. This warning is simply going to be copy pasted to all chapters

🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻

Once more, just like all the times before, you were currently boarding the small aircraft that was going to lead you to one of the portals to send you back on Omega Earth along with Iso. And just like last time, Sova came by to give you some encouragement before you left.

He had a firm hand on your shoulder as he spoke, a warm smile on his face. "I believe in you, and I believe that the training will come in handy." Sova said, giving your shoulder a small squeeze as he spoke warmly. "And remember what I said, if anything happens, immediately radio in and I'll come by." Sova continued.

"Will do, I'll do my best and I'll hope that I'll be able to apply the same methods on the field that I used in the simulation training." You said, giving him a small nod and a small nervous smile. You weren't as nervous as the last time you had to go, but there was still nerves as always. "Good. I believe in you, I know you got this." Sova finally said before giving you a final pat on the shoulder and then sending you on your way.

You made your way towards the small aircraft, boarding it after you picked up your weapons. You took your usual seat, the one that gave a nice view of the sky when you were in the air. Iso followed suit soon after, making his way to the other seat. "Good morning." He said, immediately greeting you as he came in.

It was a small change, where he was the one to break the silence and start conversations, but you were really liking it. It helped you ease your nerves a bit, giving him a smile. "Mornin'." You greeted him back, this time turning towards him instead of looking out the window of the entire time.

"Was Sova giving you a pep talk?" He asked you curiously as the aircraft finished getting loaded up, preparing for takeoff. "Er-... Yeah. He was." You reply a bit hesitantly, letting out a small laugh. You didn't want to develop too much- with all the situation behind it, you weren't ready to just fess it up to Iso.

"I see. And you're feeling okay?" Iso followed up, slight curiosity on his face, his tone a bit gentler. "After the last mission, just want to make sure you're okay-" He continued as he tried to justify his question, looking as if he felt like he overstepped. "It's fine- yes I'm doing okay." You said with a smile of your own, reassuring him.

"Good." He said, nodding slightly. The aircraft took off, launching itself in the air just like the last times to transport you to one of the portals. There was a moment of silence as you two were being flown in, not too sure how to continue with the conversation.

"I know it's a sensitive topic but... Why did you have a panic attack last mission?" Iso asked, his curiosity was starting to get the better of him again. He knows that he's asked this question multiple times before and that every time you shut him down. But he still wanted to try, both to make sure I wouldn't happen again but also out of concern.

You hesitated for a moment, your gaze was staring out the window once again, just like the times before, looking at the clouds below. It was obvious that Iso didn't believe what Sova I put down on the report for a second- how many times he keeps asking this question, you knew that eventually he would figure it out. You just didn't know if you should fess up now and get it over with or just continue hiding it.

You have been doing a lot better since, you've improved a lot your mental health and your anxiety after the entire ordeal with Omega Earth Iso - but it was still a bit embarrassing to you. And it felt embarrassing to imagine telling him that the reason you had a panic attack was because of his Omega doppelganger.

"Well..." You started off, taking a deep breath. You weighed your words and try to figure out the best way to say it without just straight up outing your feelings. You carefully thought over your wording as Iso patiently waited for you to continue. "I... I didn't want to kill Omega earth Iso." You finally said, hoping that he wouldn't over question it.

He remained silent for a moment, also trying to figure out what to say on his end. This entire conversation felt like it was on eggshells for both parties, it was uncomfortable and awkward. "Why not? He's not me-he's the enemy." Iso asked once more, careful with what he said.

You once more had to consider what you said, taking an extra moment to reply. "It's complicated. But- ... He looked hopeless. Sad.... Desperate. And it honestly made it harder to shoot last time." You said, I'm trying to be as careful as you could with your wording to not let on too much on assumptions.

"I see. You pitied him." Iso said in a softer tone, this time not pushing further. He stopped questioning about the panic attack and didn't ask for any more details, as if understanding that it was awkward and probably painful to talk about still. "So that's why you were doing simulation training." He mumbled out to himself.

You heard him mumble, even though you knew he wasn't really addressing you directly, you still gave him a hum of acknowledgment. "Yea..." You simply said. It was part of the reason, though not the entire one.

A thought crossed your mind, and part of you wanted to ask, anyways the atmosphere was already a bit awkward and sensitive, so it wouldn't crash the mood... "Say... Was there a reason why you didn't talk to me outside of missions?" You asked, knowing that the question was probably going to result in a very avoidant answer.

He tensed up, the awkward atmosphere seeming to get worse. He looked away immediately. "... There was." He simply said but didn't seem ready to develop. "Did I do something?" You asked once more, curiosity getting to you.

"No-..." His answer sounds a bit more strained, looking like he wanted to avoid talking about it anymore. But since he didn't say it directly yet, you taunted once more. "So it was a personal thing? But why?" You asked once again, careful to not sound too insistent.

"... It's personal." He simply replied, not wanting to answer further. You took the hint, not asking about it anymore. Soon enough, thr aircraft landed at your destination, allowing you to acces the portal to head to Omega Earth. You two prepared, you were heading back to Icebox again.

Before you went to step in the portal, Iso put an arm in front of you to stop you. He looked down at you, expression still unreadable. "If my Omega doppelganger is there, don't hesitate. And if you feel unwell, please, tell me." Iso said, his voice firm as he spoke. You nodded, and he finally removed his arm for the two of you to walk through the portal.

🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻

Unlike the two first times you two had been on a mission in Omega Earth, this time there was agents from Omega watching over the site. You two had gotten a bit of trouble, but nothing you couldn't handle. Currently, you and Iso were backsite on B, holding your ground and trying to take down as many of the opposing agents as you could.

You two took the same positioning as you always did-where he would cover the front and you would be behind him-making sure no one's going to flank and also making sure he doesn't get himself killed. You had already used one of your abilities to give him a bit of a boost, allowing him to react much faster.

You were constantly checking the exit of kitchen, making sure no one was going to try to get you guys from behind. You held your gun tightly, holding it up and ready to shoot at any moment. Your head snapped back towards Iso when you heard him let out a small grunt, watching as he took cover behind the wall.

He had an open wound on his arm, blood seeping through the white fabric of his hoodie. You were quick to react and use one of your healing abilities immediately, one of your hands reaching out to touch the wound and provide some relief. You couldn't care less that you now had blood on your hands, briefly wiping it off on your pants before going back to holding your gun and watching the flank.

"Thank you." Iso exhaled as the wound closed up pretty fast, catching his breath before he prepared to swing the corner once again. You decided to take a few steps forward and check the Gap in the wall that gave a bit of a view on the other side of B site, hoping that you could try to help and get a pick through that Gap.

You peaked it, and to your luck, there was the enemy Skye, currently too busy using her healing ability to have her attention on the gap. You quickly took am and shot- watching as their healer dropped dead almost instantly. You quickly sidestepped and went back to your spot beside Iso, who was still working on getting kills by peeking off the wall.

"Their skye is down." You said to Iso as he took cover once again. He reloaded his gun once more, nodding to you before letting out a cuss. "Good job-I'm almost out of bullets." He said, a frown on his face. Without thinking you just took his gun and gave him yours, since you were just working on covering, you could make shift with the remaining bullets.

He gave you a small nod, preparing his own Shield before peeking the corner once again, this time preparing to push in. He put up his wall like Shield, making it move forward as he used it for cover to gain some space. You trailed directly behind him, making sure to stay behind him as his personal Shield served as cover.

He continued to move forth and head straight onto the side, overstepping Omega Skye's dead body as he went around to try to flank them. More gunshots were heard and you stayed at the ready to provide extra support. When Iso was starting to push up a bit too far- you reacted quickly to use your ultimate to avoid any accidents happening.

You peaked out from behind him, now facing the main entryway to B site, where there was the multiple containers. There was 2 Omega agents, Viper and Phoenix, both trying to get a shot at Iso for over extending. You immediately outstretched your arm towards the two- your radiant powers starting to flow through you a bit more vividly.

"Your life is mine!" You declared loudly, making a motion as if you were scooping up something with your outstretched arm before pulling it back towards you- then sending it Iso's way. You could feel the Omega's agents life force flow through you for a brief instant before it got sent right back off to Iso, allowing him an overheal to push right into the two.

The Omega Viper and Phoenix looked weakened already from having some of their life force stolen- distracting them enough to let Iso rush them. It didn't take long for both their bodies to be dropped. There was 4 bodies total now- the first kill that iso had done on their enemy harbor, then you with skye, and these two now.

Iso came back very fast, his weapon still up at the ready. He immediately stood to your side, his eyes quickly glancing over you to make sure you hadn't taken any injuries while he had rushed. After a few seconds he finally spoke up. "You okay?" He asked you softly, relaxing his stance a bit since there didn't seem to be any imminent threats.

"Yep- you?" You responded instantly, trying to get a good visual on him to make sure he didn't get any additional injuries. "Im okay, the overheal tanked the shot." He said with a small smile . "Good." You said with a small nod. It seemed the fight was over now, finally having the site cleared.

You prepared to do the radio back, having Iso keep an eye out while you prepare to start talking in the earpiece. "Hey, we ran into some trouble but cleared it out. 4 Omega agents, Skye, Viper, Harbor and Phoenix. All dead. But the site's clear now." You started to say, giving a quick report on the situation.

Before you could get an answer back- a sense of dread hit you. "IT'S YOU AND ME!" Could be heard loud and clear in the silent air of icebox. "NooO-" you started yelling before you got pulled into the pocket dimension once more- the exact thing you didn't want happening again.

You can tell if this was just a cruel joke at this point or if Omega Iso just really couldn't let you go, either way you only had 3 bullets, and you were hoping that would be enough. You held your gun up tightly, this time you weren't going to hesitate and you're not going to freeze.

As soon as the purple Shields dropped, you saw Omega Iso - and this time he didn't look so much like a beaten puppy like the last few times. There was still an air of sadness on his face, but he looked also very angry. "You're just as bad as my world's (Y/n)." He said, raising his gun towards you.

Before he could pull the trigger on you, you already had your gun up and aimed at him. You pulled your trigger, this time without hesitation. It only took one bullet, watching us the pocket dimension shattered into thousands of purple fragments, watching as the enemy Iso's body dropped. This time you didn't close your eyes, you watched him, watched the blood splatter from the shot taken on his head.

"I'm sorry." You said, but this time it wasn't shaky or panicky like last time- it was an apology for giving him a false hope, for giving him a glimpse of something he couldn't have. Even if he was dead you still said it, even if it was pointless this time.

Just a second later you were back in your original spot, letting out an exhale as you let your gun fall to rest. There was silence once more, and you were facing away from your Iso. After a moment, you felt his hand on your shoulder. "Hey-" he started, and you immediately turned around, giving him a sudden hug.

He didn't say anything else, quietly wrapping his arms right back around you, offering a reassuring embrace. You stayed like that a short moment, squeezing him tightly before finally stepping back. "Sorry- it was kind of out of the blue-" You mumbled out.

"It's fine, don't worry." Iso said, giving you a small smile. "I finished doing the radio out since you got taken- they'll be here in a few minutes." Iso said , once more holding up his gun at the ready just in case since it seemed that Omega agents were good at just doing random surprise attacks.

You gave him a small nod, moving somewhere else so that you're back was at a wall, standing behind ISO. You were leaning a bit on the wall, using it as support. You were silent, stuck in your thoughts-but this time they weren't as overbearing as before.

You killed him- and this time it didn't feel like torture. This time you were able to do it, understanding he's the enemy and nothing more. It still sent a shiver down your spine, remembering the site of the bullet hole in his head in the blood splattering behind it- it was definitely not a pleasant sight, but it was necessary.

Soon enough backup came, and just as promised, Sova also came along. He quickly came to check up on you first to make sure everything was okay. "I'm okay." You reassured him, giving Sova a nod. "And the Omega Iso?" Sova asked, his question underlining a much bigger one that he couldn't quite say in front of everyone for the sake of keeping your secret.

"Dead." You said, your expression still hard-but the corner of your lips raising just a bit. Sova spotted the ghost of a smile on your lips, taking it as a sign that this time you didn't hesitate. Nothing else was said between you two, he simply gave you a pat on the shoulder and then moved on, securing the site properly with the other agents.

🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻

You and Iso were sent back first, considering you were the first two on site, you got dismissed faster. Of course there was also the fact that you two had used up all your abilities and practically had nothing left ammunition wise-which would make you pretty useless anyways.

You two took the portal and then got onto the small aircraft to head back towards the protocols headquarters once more. As soon as you got in the aircraft, you let yourself fall into the seat you usually took, letting out a sigh as you relaxed. You were relieved-relieve that you didn't leave this mission in a panicked mess, feeling overly anxious or like something bad was happening.

Iso followed suit, taking his own seat. He looked over at you and how relaxed you seemed. "Haven't seen you this at ease after a mission in a while." He commented briefly, making himself comfortable too. "Yeah... Some stuff that happened on the other ones. This time it went well." You said, not really thinking about your words as you spoke this time, your eyes were shut as you were relaxed in the chair.

"... What do you mean stuff happened-I was with you the whole time on the other ones-?" Iso said, immediately curious by the words you said. And that's when you realize the slick mistake and slip up you did. Your eyes shot open, your head snapping his way as you had a slightly nervous expression on your face.

He took note of your reaction, a frown forming on his face. "(Y/n), the only time something could have happened without me knowing is if it happened in my doppelgangers ultimate." He said, suspicion growing on his face. You were realizing just how close he was getting to the truth of it all-and it wouldn't take him long to piece it together.

Your first instinct was to make sure that your earpiece was off, looking at him as you did so. You knew he was going to figure it out in the next moments what are you like done or not and you were hoping that his own comms were off. Iso got the hint, reaching up to his earpiece and taking it out, turning it off instantly. He looked back at you expectedly. "What happened. You're not avoiding it this time."

"I'll tell you, but just promise me- promise me you're not breathing a word of this to anyone." You said immediately, your tone very serious as you pushed away as much as you could your anxiety. "Depends -" He started to say. "No, that won't cut it. You need to keep quiet about this- because the only person who does know is also keeping quiet." You said, your tone firm.

"Who knows?" He asked you just as firmly. "Sova." You replied, and you knew he would start piecing things together once again. You watched him as he started thinking, and you could already see he was putting the pieces together in his head-but still missing the key element.

"Fine. I won't say anything, but I want the truth." He said, leaning back in his seat. The aircraft had taken off, which gave you about half an hour to explain everything. And that's exactly what you did; the only detail you left out was your feelings for him. Instead, when it came to talking about why you had a moment of weakness with Omega Iso, you simply said it was because of the familiarity.

But for the rest you were completely honest with him. You also explained that Sova knew, and that the simulation training was the result of telling him the truth. It left Iso a bit speechless, not expecting that confession- on how you weren't able to shoot the first time because of just how familiar his doppelganger was.

It took him a few moments before finally speaking up, his silence was starting to make you a little more anxious. "I see. It all makes sense now." He said, leaning back in his seat. He took a few seconds before speaking up again. "You... You're not comparing me to him still... Right?" He asked you a bit more quietly, even though he wasn't looking at you directly, there was something that changed in his face, though you couldn't quite put your finger on it.

"No, I'm not. It was honestly driving me insane more than anything- because I'm more than aware that you aren't not the same person- Omega version of you has his own traits, and in a way it makes you two different." You said, leaning back in your own seat letting out a slightly shaky breath. You were feeling of it anxious from The talk, but you were relieved it was finally out.

Iso looked up when he heard your shaky breath, understanding you were anxious from this confession. He did the first thing that went through his mind, getting up and taking the few steps that separated the two of you in the small aircraft. He stood in front of you, arms open. "Hey-" he started to say, and you took the hint pretty fast.

You stood from your seat and gave him a hug, yet another one that day. "Thank you for telling me." He said as he held you, one of his hands rubbing your back gently. You two stayed like that for a moment, up until the moment you had to separate to sit back down for the landing.

When back at protocol headquarters, You two went to do the report, this time you were able to give most details out, just leaving out anything that had to do with your secret. This time there was nothing much- so you didn't have to consciously leave out too many details.

When all of this was over, you left the conference room where you had done your mission report in, and for once not feeling completely drained or anxious to no ends. You felt well, maybe a bit tired but generally well. You felt a hand on your back, looking back towards whoever put their hand on you.

Iso stood beside you, smiling down at you. "You should go rest, you deserve it." He said before he went on his way, his hands leaving its spot on your back as he headed towards his dorm, leaving you with a faint blush on your cheeks and butterflies in your stomach once more, just like the first time you two met.

[degenderates]

degenderates dash simulator

mutual 1: which psychedelic should i try? send recs

mutual 2: if science doesn't invent a strap you can feel by my birthday in three weeks i'm going to kms

mutual 3: [expired film shots of an abandoned house or perhaps a church surrounded by fallen powerlines] #my hometown #americana #midwestern gothic

mutual 4: defending ethel cain online isn't enough i need a gun

mutual 5: (on a gifset of the brothers from supernatural) #freud get a load of this

mutual 6: if the coquettes don't fucking shut up i'm going to lose it. reported for spam, bitch. get a LIFE!!!

mutual 7: [ass pic] teehee

mutual 8: trans people are genuinely the hottest a human being could be. what do you mean you created your body. hello !

mutual 9: jesse pinkman is just like if lana del rey was a boy. here is a webweave i made with lana del rey lyrics & breaking bad screencaps

mutual 10: "imagina que hayas aprendido ingles pero tengas el accento de tony soprano" quizas........si hablo-- [gunshot]

[thebramblewood]

📩 Simblr question of the day: What is the *one* most important feature you believe should be part of the next iteration of the sims at the core (on launch day)? @simblr-question-of-the-day

I appreciate you sending this! ❤️ It's taken me a few days to answer because, honestly, I'm not even sure I have any interest in playing the next Sims iteration at this point. Even if it ends up surpassing my low expectations, I feel a bit ugh about supporting EA anymore. Plus, I've invested so much into turning TS4 into my perfect little playhouse and have so much of my story left to tell that I'll probably be content to stay there so long as myself and others continue to be interested.

That being said, things I think should absolutely be in a Sims base game at this point: all life stages, weather, various modes of transportation (I've never been crazy about cars myself, but there's no doubt they should be part of a life simulation game - I also miss taxis/carpools even if they lead to a loading screen!), apartments, dating and attraction system, holidays, likes/dislikes, swimmable water... Most of these are obvious, so I'll stop there. Overall, though, I hope whatever evolution of the Sims comes next doesn't follow the trend of making us pay for all the same things we've paid for twice (or three times! or four!) already, but I don't have high hopes, lol!

[randomvarious]

Today's compilation:

Total 2 2000 Tech-House / Minimal Techno / Ambient

I've definitely done this before, but in order to kick off this post, I'm gonna have to rely on prolific electronic music opinion-haver Ishkur at length here, because he and I seem to be completely simpatico when it comes to our thoughts on the mostly bad phenomenon that is tech-house music:

Somehow by incorporating the strengths of both Techno and House, Tech House succeeded in appealing to neither. So the result is something frustratingly banal and monotonous when it really shouldn't be… Tech House straddles the razor-thin tightrope of something that doesn't have enough funky warmth for House yet not enough cold mechanicalism for Techno, so what comes out instead is something stiff, repetitive, and boring. It's such a disappointment, like the last season of Game of Thrones. Tech House had real promise. It could have done great things with the tools it had. And it's something everyone hoped would happen, like feeding Scrabble tiles to a dog to see if it shits out a word. But instead Tech House wasted its potential on pretentious Berlin nightclubs and that aimless, meandering noodlyness that the Brits are fond of, like a 70s prog rock solo that goes on for way too long. Technically interesting but utterly soulless… Tech House can be good. There is honestly good Tech House out there. I've even heard some. But finding it is a Herculian task of Sisyphian anguish in a Kafka-esque, Orwellian realm of Dostoevskian torment. It is possible to load up your music player with nothing but Tech House mixes, hop into your car, and drive to the other end of the continent and back and never hear the same song twice yet never hear an interesting song once. The odds of coming across decent Tech House are worse than needles made of diamonds in a rough full of haystacks.

So, yes, I 100% co-sign every single word of that. Ishkur did not teach me to think this way about tech-house, he just merely put it into words that already happened to mirror my exact thinking on the subject. In a similar way to progressive house—another genre that I don't like all that much—the sounds being made to create tech-house may be interesting and innovative themselves, but the way that those sounds are then combined typically yields something totally listless and often way too steady to be enjoyed. Like Ishkur says, the pieces are literally there to make something dope, but tech-house just seems largely unconcerned with a very crucial aspect of dance songcraft writ large—one that requires a tune to excitedly or satisfyingly grow, progress, and/or change over time.

See, to me, a lot of tech-housers really feel like people who are just cynically making dance music for the sake of it. It's like they heard house and techno and said, "oh, yeah, I can do that. That's easy. It's just looping up the same shit over and over again." And it's, like, "no, motherfucker, that's actually not at all what this is about. You really have no idea, do you?"

But guess what? They're actually not totally wrong here. Tech-house may legitimately be, overall, the most boring form of dance music that I've ever encountered in my life, but there are evidently more than enough people in this world that somehow derive satisfaction from it in order for it to have been able to successfully sustain itself for over two decades now. It's just that the people who enjoy it are like the dance music equivalent of those who, after a long and grueling day of work, like to go home and kick back with a blissful session of Lawnmower Simulator 4 😌.

So here's the second dispatch from Cologne-based label Kompakt's long-running Total series, a turn-of-the-millennium sampler that, despite it having a good deal of unique quirkiness to it, still somehow manages to bore me to absolute tears. Maybe if you've been following me long enough, you remember that I once posted about the first volume of Total, and concluded that the first half was excruciatingly boring, but the second half was fantastic. No such luck here. This is pretty much just that first half of the first Total, but doubled. Most songs start in a way that'll have you thinking, "Oh, yeah, this is pretty cool, this definitely sounds like it could be good," but then Lucy ends up pulling the football each time 😩.

Case in point, M. Mayer's "Amanda," a five-and-a-half-minute song with so much promise and a neat 80s new wave-pop edge to it too. When this thing first starts up, there is no sign that this 80s edge is going to materialize itself in any way, shape, or form, but at a little past the one-minute mark, it starts to lather itself in. And then, as you find out, this early, appetizing moment actually ends up representing the song's entire creative apex! I mean, we still have, like, over 80% of this whole tune to go, but I promise you, not a single interesting thing occurs in its very large remainder. Again, like Ishkur says, it's just so utterly aimless. This song exists because someone made it, but the idea that it has any sort of actual purpose in this universe is really questionable at best.

Like, all of this is just so maddeningly confounding to me. It's like these musicians really do genuinely find themselves on to something each time, and then rather than trying to push further, they decide that they're actually finished and just let whatever half-baked thing they've built ride itself out on an agonizingly long plateau until it thankfully takes a nose-dive off the side of a cliff. It really drives me nuts, because you can hear a possibility of something enjoyably substantive coming to fruition, but it's like there's also this inherently natural aversion to the idea of having to lift more than one finger too; everyone is just so content to glide down the bunny hill, and people are more than willing to vociferously cheer it on. It really makes not a single lick of goddamn sense to me, but there you have it—my tech-house take.

Read more Ishkur.

No highlights.