#Farouche

[sleepingwithinkink2-0]

The Fractured Space Men

A lot of people don't know I have anxiety. I barely notice it some days myself. With all the clutter that goes on in my cranium, but it's there... I see it when I analyze my own actions... Trying to predict the outcome of every possibility... I see it when I have to use the highway. The anxiety flares up, knowing I have absolutely no control over if I'll survive this adventure this time.. You can be the best driver, but all it takes is someone else's poor choices to take a stranger's life... I have this reoccurring insight that I'll die in a car accident, because it's the one thing I have no way of protecting myself.... I see the symptoms when I'm in public places packed, looking for exists, creating a plan if something horrible goes wrong.

I see it when I'm texting someone new...thinking of every possible reply they could write..

Wondering if I could have done it better? Was that too weird? I should just be me right? Is me good enough? Am I being annoying?

But I like this person I want to text them. Maybe I should wait for them to reply to my last message...

I dredge the thought of small talk .. I listen, but I'm also thinking and observing them .. Waiting for the reaction that tells me they are bored with where the conversation is . How is it going to end.. without it being awkward..

It's different when the conversation is deep, or something I'm passionate about, like books, music, movies, nature, art.. Listening to people talk about their thoughts, ideas, and dreams is what excites me.

Most people don't know these things, because I try to keep it in check ...try..

I try to question my own emotions, my own thoughts. I know if I let these thoughts consume me I'll never leave my home. That I'll miss out on the best part of living. I don't just focus on negativity though. I know what we think projects into reality, that there is always , if not most of the time a positive aspect of a negative action. I understand shit happens and sometimes it's hard to find the will to keep going, but you have to.

My curiosity is a lot stronger. The hunger to see the beauty hidden in the seconds of our life is enthralling. Finding coping mechanisms , when I feel my sanity slipping. I try to hold on to the mantra that we only have one life. I don't want to live life in fear, missing opportunities, because of my fractured brain. ( Which I know I do sometimes) Some days it clashes with my off days, where I fade in and out.. Where everything I say or do seems wrong, those are my darkest days. Where the thought of death lingers, snugged up against my eyeballs blurring how I see reality.. but it's just one reality .

Sometimes it feels like a miracle I have friends.. I have a hard time reaching out to people even friends not knowing what to say. Yet I have a thousand things to say. So many questions as to why things are the way they are .. or random thoughts.. I feel like people don't care or I'm bothering people in which case I know it's my fractured mind telling me that..

Blah blah blah

If I keep reaching out to you, know you're not just a person to me, that it takes me awhile just to find the courage to write something, always second guessing what I wrote..

-Danny Sheeahan

09/23/24

[englishlistwords]

Farouche

adjective

Unsociable or shy and socially awkward.

Disorderly or intimidating in appearance or behavior; wild.

Outrageous or extreme.

Sullen or recalcitrant.

[amiedelabc]

i will forever be FERAL about that one fic with the A++ smut where grantaire calls enjolras his 'wonderful, fierce, brave boy' 😭

[toburnup]

Just the other day I was reminded of how much I missed seeing you on my dash, so much I wanted to send a message saying I hope you were doing okay if I hadn't already... and then I wake up today and there's new iylo? Welcome back sovereign 😭

i won't lie, it kinda felt like this

it's fun, though!! a much more enjoyable surprise than me disappearing (which was guilt-ridden and uncomfortable).

[motions1ckn3ss]

feeling very grantaire core right now because even though it's 4am and i've just gotten home and the nausea is setting in i have in fact just completed the wordle connections the mini and all three sudokus without fail

[inmarbleimmobility]

found an interesting translation thing in today's les mis letters chapter. i've been listening to the donougher translation bc i haven't read that one through yet and i heard "bristling and farouche" and thought, huh, i know that word! and hapgood says "bristling and wild" so i suppose that makes sense? so i went to cross-reference and turns out in the french (at least my editions) the phrase is "hérissée et fauve". my french is extremely basic but a quick dictionary search gives me "wild animal" for "fauve", which, okay i guess, that's why hapgood has gone with "wild", but then why has donougher gone with "farouche"? it's a loanword from french too and it's used similarly in english as in french from what i can tell - but why pick another french word meaning "wild" when "wild" is right there!

[funsizedshark]

turned 25 today and immediately got a les mis tattoo to make 15 year old me proud

[artbyfarouche-eclaire]

oc art dump :)

[leleaulait]

Il y a le lynx au-dessus de chez nous dans les forêts...il fait gueuler le chien toute la nuit j'en ai marre !

En plus je suis là seule à toujours pas l'avoir vu ce petit bâtard !

[hazardsoflove]

officially got my first tattoo hehe

[sysig]

Some fanart inspired by @farouchestray’s recent ink studies

[findingtheperfectcharacter]

*Reads a bit of meta on the translation of Sois sérieux, dit Enjolras - Je suis farouche, répondit Grantaire. as. "Be serious," said Enjolras. "I am wild," responded Grantaire.*

…

I think the most cursed translation would be Feral Actually-

[toburnup]

Right, no one has ever accused me of being the brightest (heh) but to me 'is your light on?' is literally asking 'are you there?' Not just in a physical sense but in a metaphorical sense too, especially with the push and pull of Steve and Eddie's interactions in the latest chapters. They're never 'there' at the same time, or in the same place - they keep missing each other.

Things seemed to be looking up at the end of Steve's POV but ya never know with these two... Holding out hope that they'll figure it out soon enough 😭

god i somehow missed this, but. this is perfect and ily!!! you get me.

[kohakuhibiki]

Le salon dégueulassement inconfortable pour un temps sans selfie. Tout le monde était déçu par cet invest, mais quand le chat a transformé une chaise en maison a chat on a tous ben ri, mais c'était po sécuritaire (shit a ressort en n'sais po quoi on airait dit de la fonte) so on a crissé so au vidange.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

yet another list of "beautiful" words

to try to include in your next poem/story

Book-bosomed - coined by Sir Walter Scott; means "carrying a book at all times." If you love books, certainly you've been book-bosomed at times in your life.

Caliginous - misty, dark

Dithyramb - a usually short poem in an inspired wild irregular strain. This word comes from the Greek word dithyrambos which was the name for a wild and irregular poem honoring Dionysus, the god of wine, who was often lauded throughout the year during festivals at which poems of this style were read.

Embonpoint - plumpness of person; stoutness

Farinaceous - having a mealy texture or surface

Farouche - marked by shyness and lack of social graces

Florilegium - a volume of writings; an anthology. The word was borrowed into English from a New Latin word that comes from Latin florilegus meaning "culling flowers." Think of a florilegium as a bouquet of writings, specially selected and arranged for your enjoyment.

Goety - black magic or witchcraft in which the assistance of evil spirits is invoked

Lachrymist - one given to weeping

Lamia - a female demon; vampire

Osseous - bony

Phantasmagoria - a bizarre or fantastic combination, collection, or assemblage

Stygian - extremely dark, gloomy, or forbidding

Tenebrous - shut off from the light

Theurgy - the art or technique of compelling or persuading a god or beneficent or supernatural power to do or refrain from doing something

If any of these words make their way into your next poem/story, please tag me, or leave a link in the replies. I would love to read them!

More: Lists of Beautiful Words ⚜ Word Lists

[iweb-rdc001]

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