#FULLY HONEST
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*looks at dash while on creative break*
Wait...people think Trey is a manipulator?
#rambles#he's like the most normal fucking dude in the school#I don't know his character TOO well#but I never really saw him as that#I know there was that speculation of the *possibility* in the newest story update#but even then I read it and went '???'#He honestly reads a bit more like a possible peaople pleaser or something#I COULD BE WRONG#FULLY HONEST#HAVEN'T READ ANY OF HIS SHIT#or any tled stuff in years honestly
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i like to talk with middle aged men about cars
i need to learn more about cars to better contribute to the conversation
#fully honest#it's so easy topic autisticwise#they're so passionate and there a lot of facts and numbers and i love my car i just don't know that much about different cars
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valentine’s day. i guess today was the time for a full identity realization. i’m a mess. crying into my biology homework. for multiple reasons. i wish i could talk to someone. but i feel alone. they are not awake or not answering. i want to talk. about polyamory. about pansexuality. about listening to TS while fully associating one’s identity wig themself for the first time. all of the feelings now.
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finally some realism in video games
#spitblaze says things#baroque#if giving the saturn version another shot#if im being fully honest. i kinda like the psx version better#even WITH the garbage draw distance#doin numbers#screenshots
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need to share an experience i had 30 minutes ago
(edit: thanks to @walks-the-ages for providing and reminding me to put alt text, sorry it slips my mind alot lol)
#my hands are still shaking to be quite honest i could not put a lot of effort into this.#but like. brain. why did you do that#literally i have been like hopelessly obsessed with de nonstop thinking abt it for the past couple of days it is Scaring me#it is terminal its soooo fucking chronic#disco elysium#kim kitsuragi#for anyone who wants to know i bumped into some guys car that was stopped for a school bus. i think my brain errored and thought#my foot was fully pressing down on the brake pedal but it wasnt.#i am like 99.99 percent sure neither of us had any major damage to our cars but we still filed a police report just in case#because insurance do be a bitch. dudes back bumper was scratched lightly and my front license plate has a dent now#also literally my first ever car accident that ive had ever yippee yay
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Have some Replica Leo for Round 2 of the @tmntfashioncompetition! This time the theme is: "Traditional Garment." I’ll be up against @villainleoau and I’m nervous cuz that’s a STELER crew and some of the most talented artists in the fandom (also their fashion sense is off the charts)!
For the art I decided to lean into some traditional Japanese attire and a prosthetic more befitting of the era. Originally I was just going to have Leo's missing arm be covered, but if he wants to be truly capable with a katana he'd need something to help keep the sheath affixed when removing his sword. This is especially necessary for duels, since the speed and pressure applied from the drawing of the sword are imperative. I imagine he has several more varying tools he can screw onto his arm in the little side pack. Also note, the Kanji means "ninja" or "ninpo" and the finer hiragana text is the infamous "You are not alone" line. I had a lot of fun with this one, trying to decide if maybe I should put it up for print.
Some of my inspo under the cut:
#yes I know he’s wearing attire more akin to samurai than ninja#pretend he’s under cover#blending into his surroundings#blind spots#all that jazz#I’ll be honest I wanted to do three colors because I didn’t want to take the time to render him fully#but I’m pretty happy with the outcome#should use a minimum color palette more often#tmntfashioncompetition#traditional garment theme outfit#fashion propaganda#traditional fashion#rottmnt#rottmnt replica#replica#TMNT#Leonardo#kathaynesart#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#unpause rise of the tmnt#save rottmnt#unpause rottmnt
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Ultratober Day 13 - Redesign (wip)
Tried my hand at designing a demon Gabe but couldn't finish in time </3
#plagued art#plagued wip#fanart#ultrakill#utk#uk#utkl#ultratober 2024#ultratober2024#gabriel#demon!gabriel#not that happy w this design either if i'm being fully honest#i wanna finish this specific piece properly sometime but i also wanna revisit this design idea ................#theres some concepts here i like but i could do them more justice i think weh
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Who put these kids here?
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan sizhui#jin ling#jin chan#lan wangji#wei wuxian#ouyang zizhen#nameless red disciple#Congrats Jin Chan on your second and likely final appearance in this comic series.#Him turning into a yellow lump in the final panel is shorthand for 'I gave up. drawing is hard. Lump mode activated.'#Or - maybe they turned him around last minute to hide the evidence. It's up to reader interpretation!#I did skip a lot to get here but it is all in the effort of hitting key points and not dragging this season on.#Wen Ning lovers don't worry. He'll be back soon.#I do love how LZH turns to violence and joins in on kicking jin chan alongside the others.#Even more so when you remember they are all tied up the entire time.#Just...What a scene to walk in on as an outsider. And then to not fully comment on.#To be honest: That's kind of how it goes with teens. They know you know. You know they know you know. We won't unpack that.#It's been ages since we saw all the juniors together! They are as silly as ever B*)#I split this comic into two! So there are two comics left of the season!
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Everyone, trying to warn me: Harrow the Ninth is so complicated and so hard to get through and you won't have any idea what the hell is happening!
Me: Harrow the Ninth is peak comedy if your sense of humor is fucked beyond all sense.
#if I'm honest#it is not so confusing as all that#its a very well laid out mystery#which i have nor fully solved#but its fascinating nevertheless#tlt#the locked tomb#harrow the ninth#harrow the ninth spoilers#emperor: alas i have buried the monster within the tomb that was to be never opened#harrow: excuse u that is my beloved Corpse of Coping#chekhov draws tlt#chekhov draws the locked tomb
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EMILY & HOTCH DANCING in 7.24 RUN
#criminal minds#criminalmindsedit#cmverseedit#cmverse#hotchnissedit#emily prentiss#emilyprentissedit#aaron hotchner#aaronhotchneredit#mine#edit#*#otp: you seem to do ok#otp#will i EVER be over this it's been literally 12 years (and a day damn i should have posted yesterday for the anniversary)#forever screaming into a pillow about her face before he makes her laugh and his face after#LIKEEEEEEE if those last two gifs don't just fucking SUM THEM UP#tentative and careful and honest but not open?? chewing glass brb#(off topic ish i'm obsessed with romantic glowing my gifs sorry that i am fully living in 2014 right now??? it just feels right)
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gideon sketch i couldnt help but color and render — a little wink (at kremy, naturally)
#and coalecroux doodles to the side#gideon is on a chair#i didnt want to draw it to be honest#its there in spirit#my first fully rendered drawing of gideon ! more of the other characters coming soon wink wink nudge nudge#starting to get the hang of how i like to draw him#once upon a witchlight#gideon coal#legends of avantris#coalecroux#kremy x gideon#ouaw fanart#girlkissergideon if youre seeing this its dedicated to you <3#didnt want to mention just in case
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why isn’t anyone talking about how darius bit into the ENTIRE bag of twibblers at ONCE 😭
#jurassic world chaos theory#jwct#jwcc#Darius bowman#ben pincus#benrius#chaos theory#what the sigma darius#Darius needs to be cancelled for this if I’m being fully honest#bro really said CHOMP
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‘when you lose your teenage features’ ‘when you lose your teenage style’ you guys i think the word you’re looking for is ‘grow’? perhaps ‘change’ even
#can’t relate. every day i thank every entity in the universe that i’m not a teenager in any way shape or form#can’t wait to not be in my 20s anymore if i’m being fully honest
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He is flirting with bothering him
Secret Santa artwork from this year of older keyblade masters soriku
#riku#sora#soriku#kingdom hearts#merizonal draws#I fully just use a bbs screenshot for the background to be honest
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Omg Sam phone case reveal??
maybe i'll draw sam in a tuxedo at some point
#ask#anonymous#for things that are not shown (like the bottom half of the phone in the final image)#there's a very good chance i didn't fully render them#little behind the scenes fun fact#hehe#though to be honest sam reads as the kind of guy that would have a chaotic phone case full of stickers#that or one that's just absolutely falling apart
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The Problem With the Eddsworld Fandom's Depictions of Red Leader/Future Tord, A Disabled Perspective
Disability is a contentious concept for most of society, with most either treating us with disgust, confusion, refusing to treat us as human, or to see our struggles as what they are. Ableism affects all people in many different ways, but as someone who focuses a lot of my energy in fandom spaces, the pervasiveness of ableism with how media and their fans interpet and react to disabled characters is a very personal situation for me. While many may argue that an ignorance to these topics in fiction has little bearing on real life, the prevalance of these tropes have echoed and led to feelings of othering for many disabled people, and oftentimes support the same notions that lead to the day-to-day ableism in our own personal lives.
In recent years, I have experienced this most often with the prevalance of negative disability tropes perpetrated by fanfiction surrounding the character of Tord, also known under the alias of Red Leader in some fanworks. It is a problem not just common in the Eddsworld fandom. A more recent, and much larger fandom in Mouthwashing also shares a common trend of repeated ableism in fan depictions and interpretarions of disabled characters. Most fan creators are unaware of these tropes and the harm that they cause, but as a disabled person, I am unable to ignore it.
For context on myself, you can call me Fish. Get it? Or"fish"eus? I like to think I'm funny. I am a mentally ill, disabled, and neurodivergent creative who has niche interests in representation in media and the intersection of intersectionality and fandom spaces. I experience chronic pain due to a multitude of conditions, all of which are invisible disabilities. I am NOT an amputee or have a facial difference, like the character I am analyzing. I can only speak based on my own research in my attempts to portray him positively, but I want to mainly focus on the ableist tropes I see and the real life effects they have. That is something I CAN focus on, because I've been dealing with it for years from conditions that came onset later in my life. I will be speaking from that perspective, but will be doing my best to try to educate on what I do know from my research to help authors, artists, and creatives create a better portrayal of him in fanworks.
The most common tropes I see with him are what I will call "The Disabled Villain", "The Innacurate Disability", and "The Ignored Disability". There are a few tropes in each, but for ease of organization (and the sake of your (and my) time), I will be talking about them together in these sections. There are also overlaps in many, but I will define the main issues with them.
The Disabled Villain
James Bond, Wonder Woman, The Witches. You name it. You have most likely seen this trope at work in cinema. A malicious evil-doer is revealed to have a "horrid" face symbolic of the true evil within their soul, while the beautiful, able-bodied hero is meant to stop them. It's a trope as old as time, one that goes back to even Plato. Tropes are tropes, people subvert them, so a few cases down the line may be excusable. But that has not been the case For many years, the most prevalent form of representation for disabled people was in these villains. Imagine if the only representation you had for yourself was narratives surrounding how the way you look or what your disability is and have it only be equated to evil people. It leads to a villainization of disabled people. People react to facial differences with disgust, because they are "shown" that it is "evil", or "ugly", or equal to being a horrible person. As stated by The Nora Project, "According to the book Disabilities: Insights from Across Fields and Around the World, disabled students are two to three times more likely to be bullied in comparison to their nondisabled classmates. The disabled villain trope contributes to this phenomenon in overt and subtle ways. For example, the trope implicitly encourages fear of disability and difference, while validating, and even elevating, those who fight against the evil, Disabled Villain. Bullying based on fear and disdain is almost a natural consequence of the trope when viewed in this light". Another big issue is that disabled characters have not been given space to exist outside of villainy. There are not many complex narratives surrounding them. This leads to our disabilities being downplayed, us being dehumanised, and we are seen more like props in real life, or simply tools to achieve a message in a narrative.
Tord's disability is never explicitly shown in the show. It is something more prevalent in Fanon, specifically in fanworks that focus on the "Future" era of the show's timeline, where the narrative and outside discussions on the show implies a high tech society, potentially dystopian, potentially a consequence of his actions. These ideas have taken a life of their own in the fandom, with many creators fully expressing these ideas. The problem arises when Red Leader falls in line with this trope. In many works, he is the sole disabled character, a figure of pure evil, or given little nuance in the narrative. Artists illustrate his scars as bright red, crimson, or, in TBATF, green. For some reason. In this way, they attempt to highlight the villainy by equating him with common symbols of evil: facial differences and disabilities. Unfortunately, these are not just symbols. These are conditions and scars that real people have, which the fandom tends to ignore in favor of dramatization.
This was a trope I most commonly saw explored in fanfiction when I first joined in 2016/17. The show, unfortunately, subtly and accidentally perpetrated it by having the only character visibly and irreparably "damaged" by the giant robot fight be Tord, despite the fact that Tom, who had a whole missile directed at him and got buried under a house, was fine with at most a leg injury and a cut on his arm. Luckily, we have grown past the need for ableist tropes, and the faults of the show can be left in the past!
... Not.
Disability tropes have simply evolved in how the fandom treats Tord. Even if it is now done with more consciousness and sympathy towards his character, ignorance still prevails. Let's talk about common pitfalls people fall into when writing him.
The Inaccurate Disability
In fanon perception, Red Leader is an amputee with a high tech prosthesis and a facial difference resulting from burn scars. Like many disabled characters, he suffers from a collective fandom lack of research. But never fret! That is what I have subjected myself to for the past four years, so your friendly neighborhood disabled Fish can tell you how to right your fandom wrongs! Just kidding! Take this as a pointer, and do your own research.
As is common with fictional prosthetics, his arm prosthetic is treated as a perfect fix for his amputation. It acts just like, if not better than an actual arm. The issue with this is that is isn't realistic. Yes, I know, I'm criticising Eddsworld fanfiction for not being realistic. STAY WITH ME HERE. Once again, if it was one instance, or a few, that explored prosthetics being incredibly functional in science-fiction, then it could be a cool concept. But when every sci-fi work has it, then that is no longer a concept. That is a misconception. And I have interacted with people who believed that prosthetics were 100% functional! The thing is, like all disability aids, it does not suddenly make us able-bodied. For example, I have ear defenders that I wear when I experience pain within my ears. But that does not mean my hearing will now become normal, and I will no longer experience pain from the sound I'm hearing. What WILL happen is that I will straight up not hear you. Like, literally. Can you repeat that? I had my ear defenders on. Oh, you're saying that my ear defenders aren't prosthetics and are not a fair comparison? Well, that's fair, but take this as an illustration of a disability aid and how they differ from able-bodied experiences. Also, many prosthetic users do many things without their prostheses, and some even prefer NOT to wear them. Blogs that explicitly cover disabled representation, such as @/cripplecharacters, have posts that cover WHY many amputees are not fans of this trope. The problem comes with that it erases disability, and yet also treats us like we are given a space at the table of representation. It's just another way that authors avoid actually doing research.
Other things that people tend to ignore are how burn scars, or any scars, would not only appear on a character, but also affect them. I have seen, aside from skin tones that looked like they were picked out of a crayon box instead of what would appear on a person, teeth exposed, wounds that look as if they are fresh from the explosion YEARS after they occurred, and what I like to call "paper shredder" scars. Because instead of them looking like burn or shrapnel scars, it appears as if his skin was put through a shredder. Once again, another consequence of the show's at most-30 second scene with questionable decisions that made massive ripples in the fandom. With the injuries Tord received, it is most likely that he would have two kinds of injuries: a burn on 18% of his body (minimum, based on rule of 9s), and/or shrapnel scars from debris. While shrapnel scars would manifest as darker scars, the burn scar would likely be a hypertrophic scar, as "70% of patients develop hypertrophic scars following burns" (Finnerty et. al). The scars, when healed, are warm toned on the boundaries of their areas and cool in between. When on a pale skintone, they are not too dissimilar, and would therefore not have such a drastic color difference as seen on skin. They would also not go down to the bone or skin, as that would be a completely different kind of injury, and are also commonly done to make him look "scarier", which then aids the Disabled Villain trope. It also treats these scars and injuries more like a work of fiction, rather than something that many real people have experienced, adding to continuous misinterpretations of real life disabilities and facial differences.
For writers wanting to include consequences of burns, what would be more likely to be affected are his hearing, vision, and nerves on the right side of his face, as burn scars can go as deep as nerve endings. Also, burn scars, especially third degree burns, require treatments, such as burn-specific skincare. Scars, especially burn scars, can affect you and become disabling. For artists, the main thing I don't see artists do is draw him with damaged hair follicles. Burn scars damage the scalp and eyebrows, preventing hair growth. I am sorry, but he would not still have fluffy, luscious hair. Do not kill me. He just wouldn't. And if you are saying that he had it in the show, I can't hear you because my ear defenders are on, but I hope you heard me, as we've gone over that the show is inaccurate and we should do our own research.
Even well intentioned authors and artists ignore many aspects of the disabilities he would likely have!
Which brings us to the last trope...
The Ignored Disability
Many well meaning people intend to give him nuance by trying to avoid the Disabled Villain trope. Accidentally, however, they end up completely ignoring his disabilities instead.
Just like the high-tech prosthetic, the real disabling aspects of having a disability are at best rarely mentioned. I have seen, in some fanworks, that he goes straight from amputation to having a prosthetic. And that is where his disability ends. Because the prosthetic ends up being a fix-all situation. Authors refuse, or forget, to include aspects of amputation, such as the healing process, stump or phantom pain. Artists will cover up his scars with a helmet or a mask, another trope that undermines his disabilities and attempts to brush it under the rug. I understand that there is a discomfort for able-bodied authors in thoroughly exploring how a character feels about their disability. That is something I think we should. Avoid. If you're not familiar with the experience of being that minority, you do not need to add commentary on it. And if you do, and it just falls into more negative tropes, I will send a salmon cannon at you (/j). However, I do not agree with brushing every disabling aspect of his life under the rug.
People can assume it's not a problem, like it isn't something blatantly apparent. But, if you assume that disability and being disabled is not a "big thing", you end up where your medication is denied because your insurance refuses to see your common procedure as not a necessary medical intervention because you're "too young". And that is not fiction. That is what inspired me to write this essay, because the day that I got that news was the same day I sat down and told myself that I needed to share my perspective on the perception of disabled characters by honing in on one of my favorite characters and how the fandom treated him.
Disabled characters deserve to be included in media, disability and all, with care given to how their life would operate as a result and what they would experience with their specific disability. That's why many people recommend sensitivity readers who can give proper insight upon that disability and can advise people to properly portray it.
But if you cannot afford or access that resource, what can you do?
Fish's Non-Cohesive List of Ways I Tried to Write Tord as a Non-Amputee Without a Facial Difference
Do research!! The more you are to try to understand what you are writing about, the less you are to misinterpret or misrepresent it.
Look into resources that focus on portraying disabled characters, especially with those you wish to write about. Read blogs, research tropes that are common in disabled characters, and hell, read medical journals. They can provide great insight (<< nerd who likes reading medical journals)
Include more disabled characters. Make the other boys be disabled! Want to be canon compliant? Create OCs who have disabilities! I have a bunch! It's 2024! Be cringe and be free! The character's disability would go against the traditional narrative form of "usefulness"? I'm an animator who can't wear headphones and a theatre performer who can't physically handle the volume of a band. And yet, we find ways to persist, to exist. We will always find our way to live in the way we want to, in whatever way we can.
Look into disability activism. Learn the difference between the Medical Model and Social Model of disability. Know what an invisible disability is. Listen to us when we say that we don't want to be treated as special or an inspiration for simply living (inspiration porn). The more you are aware of what we struggle in real life, the more aware you will be to not repeat those mistakes in your fiction.
Write what you can. Highlight little talked about aspects of having a burn scar or being an amputee, such as the recovery, or treatment for the chronic pain, or how different he would be in battle due to decreased depth perception. As a disabled author, I have personally touched on the experience of gaining a disability later in life, and how he copes with it. Now, not all of y'all can do that. But that is a personal experience I do have, and it is something I have highlighted in my own work. So, while I couldn't tell you the ins and outs of having a burn scar or a prosthetic arm, I could describe the shock and frustration that comes with suddenly experiencing difficulties, or even being unable to do what you had done before.
I ask that, if you are willing to do better, or to start on the right foot, you take what I have written, reflect on it, and treat disabled characters, and in turn, disabled people, better from here on out.
Fiction is not reality, but the way we deal with it is reflective of who we are and what we believe. The boundary for our own personal being does not suddenly stop within fiction. When we interact and interpret it and create for it, it is integral that we remain conscious that bigotry runs rampant, albeit often as an unseen force, within fandom spaces, and do our best to counteract that.
I have doubts that the new eddisode will treat this topic with the same respect. I hope you can all go forward with what you have read in this WAY LONGER than I expected essay, and do what those grown British men cannot. Even if they erase it, retconn it, or do not treat it with respect, let's all go forward and do better!
As for always, you can discuss more in the tags or my inbox!
I hope you have a wonderful life,
Fish
#eddsworld#personal thoughts#orf.essays#tord#ew tord#eddsworld tord#eddswolrd#you know what? mass taging this one#this is a really important topic to me#eddsworld tom#ew tom#eddsworld fanart#ew fanart#actually im gonna stop#i felt bad#disabilties in fiction#disability tropes#IM SORRY IF I CLOG THOSE TAGS#I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS APPLICABLE#i nearly cried making this#like fully honest#i straight up was on the verge of tears#please be nice y'all.
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