#FUCKING TAKE ME HOME LIKE YEAH IM HUNGRY BUT IM MOSTLY TIRED AND HAVE WORK TOMORROW

[agenderarkham]

Killing myself me and my buddy went and got tattoos today and their mom came with us which would have been fine if it wasn’t an hour and 45 minutes after I’m supposed to be in bed and the fact that we’re still like a half hour away from my house and she’s making us sit in the long ass in and out drive through line bc it’s 845 and next to an airport on the Friday night before a holiday weekend

[billiemakesmewetter]

fuck and make up

pairing: billieg!p x fem!reader billie!sub you!dom

warning: cursing, smut, praise kink, mommy kink, and orgasm denial

you were on your way to your girlfriends house, you just finished working and now you wanted to go home after a very long day. as we were walking to the car park, you get held back by someone. you quickly turned around and it was you girlfriend, billie.

“omg? billie what are you doing here?”

“what, your girlfriend cants surprise you at work now?” she says smirking and holding onto my hand.

“well, i’m so tired and hungry.” you say, huffing while embracing her. “okay, i’ll make you food, let’s go home.”

“omg yay!” i kissed her and they walked into the car. you expected billie to drive but she sat at the passenger seat.

“billie could you drive, please.”

she sighs and opens the door to the door and getting out.

you did the same and sat at the passenger this time. you leaned back and sighed in tiredness. you put on my seatbelt and billie did the same before switching on the ignition.

they were now at home as billie was pulling over. you opened your eyes slightly to realise that your home.

“baby we’re home now. wake up.” billie says and you face her. she has a concerned look but smiles at me.

“yeah i know baby, why don’t we sit for awhile okay?”

“sure thing.”

“i love you.” you kissed her cheek.

“i love you too baby. so much.” she leans forward and kisses me, “now go back to sleep.”

billie turns her head to her side and puts earphones on. what is wrong with her.

“billie, you know you can talk to me. right?” you said and she takes her headphones off.

“yeah im good, yeah maybe we should go in, i’ll make you food.”

“billie… talk to me, you’re clearly not fine.”

“yes i am, now let’s get in-” you cut her off by straddling onto her. she was in complete shook, but you didn’t care.

you only cared to making sure that billie was okay. right now she was seemingly a little off.

“baby, talk to me, just talk, if you don’t, how are you supposed to move on from this relationship?” you caressed her cheek and you noticed a tear coming out her eye.

“you’re always working. and i feel like this isn’t working anymore, um… so i was thinking about us breaking up.”

“what? why?”

“simply because you never have time for me? umm… yesterday was our anniversary. you didn’t remember did you?”

you cursed under your breath after realising that she was mostly the one who was putting the effort in the relationship.

“baby, i’ll make it up to you- i did forget, i was going to surprise you yesterday but… work.”

“and that’s the problem, you work like its more important than me. everytime you come home, you always, always never acknowledge me. you only care about yourself.”

“t-that’s not true-“

“what about Ameria. your ‘best friend’ oh you think i wasn’t going to find out that you guys were fucking too?” billie sobbed.

you felt bad.

“billie, i’m sorry… i didn’t-”

“get off.” she said coldly and you didn’t hesitate to get off her. you sat there in silence, watching her as she looked into the rear-view mirror. she wiped her tears then she flipped her hair to the side.

you felt so guilty for your actions, and you really wanted to make it up to her, you didn’t even know what billie would find out about ameria. you and ameria were childhood best friends.

it was a really drunk night and one thing led into another and you and meri had sex.

not that you really remember, again you were extremely drunk. but you finding out billie knows, it crushed you. you knowing that she’s hurt by you, you really wish you could have done better.

“billie… i’ll fix things. i really will, i promise.

i’ll end my friendship with ameria for you. seriously i was really-”

“save it. just stop. i don’t care. i really don’t, just fucking-” you cut her off with a kiss. you didn’t care if she was mad at you, but you kissed her.

“why did you kiss-”

“-because i love you. i know im not perfect, im never perfect, but im human. i love you.” you grab her hands and hold them. “i love you so so much.”

a few minutes passed of silence until she spoke. “thank you.”

you kissed her again and it lasted long. i straddled onto her again and i continued staring grinding on her slowly, she gasped lightly at each hit. she pulled you down towards herself.

“let me finish.”

you said, slowly continuing to grind on her. you could already feel onto her hardness as she moans against your lips.

“i- y/n can we go inside and continue… everyone will see-“

“so, that’s a great way to prove to everyone that i love you a lot.” you smiled

she leaned into you and while she kissed you she started to undo her shirt.

“fuck, y/n, i’m hard.” she pants. you smirked right at her and continued to kiss her, moving down to her neck and removing her shirt.

“let’s move to the backseat.” you said breaking our kiss again. you climbed over to the back seat and she did the same.

“fuck, you got me so hard, you better fix this.”

she said and you pulled her against your core. you felt so horny, and desperate for her.

you kissed down her body and you stopped at her entrance which made her gasp for air.

you kissed between her legs as she tried to push you away a bit.

“y/n um.. go slow, please.” she said and you grinned.

you pulled her drawls down exposing her dick that slapped up to her stomach.

you pulled down you leggings along with your pink lacy thongs, you then straddled onto her.

you quick pulled your tee off exposing you boobs. she goes lower with her kisses and stopped at your boobs, sucking your right nipple slightly and licking over the left while pinching the other.

you moan a bit and she continues to suck and bite gently, leaving marks on your skin, causing you to be wetter than ever.

you slowly slid into her, causing her to moan loudly into your mouth.

you pull out slightly then pushed back in again and faster. your thrust became harder and she began moaning louder.

“fuck~ y/n~” she moaned loudly, you began pumping faster.

this made billie grip onto your waist. you both kept kissing and sucking each other and it was driving you insane.

“oh, fuck!! fuck billie. i can’t take it!” you moaned.

“fuck, you’re gonna have to take my shit baby.”

she groans as you rode her. you moaned into her ears and you began to suck onto her neck, leaving marks.

you pulled her nipples in your mouth and they turned red from all the attention you were giving them.

after a minute or two you pull out. you lean down to kiss billie, she moaned into the kiss then you pulled away.

you went back to where you came from and bucked your hips faster. “y/n… please.. mhm..” billie groaned, her eyes closed and her back arching.

“please what, you wanna cum huh?” you teased. she bit into her lips.

“yeah? want to cum for me?” you quickly pulled out and you watched her reaction.

“what… why did you pull out?”

“you need to beg baby. beg for mommy.” you tell her playing with her sensitive tip.

“mommy… please…” she begged as she arched her hips further.

“fine. i’m going to give you what you want baby.”

You quickly mounted her before you started rocking your hips, thrusts becoming stronger and harder.

you squeezed your tits and billie moaned loudly at it, you loved hearing that noise leave her throat.

“god, y/n baby i cant hold back any longer. fuck!”

she screamed out as she threw her head to the back.

her walls tightened around you as you pounded yourself into her.

“y/n… fuck... fuck... fuck” she moaned out.

she gripped your shoulders tightly as she threw her head back.

“yeah, yeah, baby, keep doing that for mommy~”

she was screaming your name, your thrusts become faster and deeper, and she starts moaning more loudly.

“fuck, you’re gonna make mommy cum, shit.”

“wait, i wanna taste you, can i?” she asks, her beaming eyes darts across yours.

you pulled out and she hold onto you as she flipped you over. no you were laying down, she leaves a trail of kisses down your beautiful tits and down your stomach.

you liked the way she would suck onto you as she kissed you. you looked down as she reached down to you pink wet pussy. she looks at you in awe.

“fuck mommy, you’re so wet for me.” she placed her thumb onto you clit and rubbed it. you let out a big moan.

“oh shit…” you breathed

out. you couldn’t control how horny you were for her, and when she touches your pussy, you were practically begging for her to touch you.

your walls tightening around her fingers. you gripped her hand tighter, her fingers slipping into your pussy as she moved her hand.

“shit, billie, yes, that’s good. yes, like that. oh yeah like that. ugh.” you moaned out.

billie kept pumping her fingers in and out and you could feel your orgasm beginning to come.

you grabbed at her hips, trying to keep her still.

“billie… yes, like that….yes, yes, like that...” you moaned loudly.

she removed her hand from your clit and she sucked on it lightly.

“come on billie, please.” you begged. “fuck, billie, please.” you were panting. “fuck, yes.” you groaned out as you came onto her fingers.

You let her slide her fingers out as you held her hair for her. “damn billie, that was good.” you sighed.

“let’s go inside now, it’s so dark out here.” she said and you agreed. we dressed up then you both got outta the car.

[vee-double-u]

having a bath with their s/o headcanons - haikyuu

❤ summary: little scenarios and headcanons for a random selection of haikyuu boys detailing how they would bathe with their s/os. some are nsfw, others are not

❤ includes: bokuto, kenma, tendou

❤ B O K U T O ❤

❤ having a bath with bokuto is all giggles and romance

❤ he’s not the type to have one on his own but will spontaneously run a bath when the two of you are having a lazy day and he’s bored

❤ loves the fancy bath products you buy and even has favourites but doesn’t like going into the shop without you so is often dragging you along

❤ his favourite bath products are anything that makes lots of bubbles that he can mess around with and/or dump on your head

❤ sex is great but bokuto’s mostly in it for the shrieks of laughter he can draw from you as he throws water in your direction

❤ an actual menace but at least its not boring

you observe bokuto with amused eyes from your side of the bath as he carefully arranges the bubbles around his spiky hair. the image of him constructing his masterpiece is complete with the tip of his tongue occasionally poking out of the corner of his mouth in concentration. it made the butterflies in your stomach flutter in a way you hadnt felt since the two of you had started dating.

how am i looking? he asks after what you decide is too damn long making a bubble crown. he even poses for you as you take in the final image.

missing something i think, you say considering him seriously.

oh yeah?

like a flash, you scoop a healthy handful of bubbles and rub it against his jawline, smearing around his mouth

a beard~ you tease as he squawks in indignation and slaps your hands away

oh you are going to pay for that, he threatens. his eyes darkening in a familiar way as he moves closer to you.

--

❤ K E N M A ❤ (slight nsfw)

❤ loves baths with you cause he’s a lazy motherfucker and being able to just lie there as you lovingly massage and clean his body is his favourite way to de-stress after practise

❤ most nights will find you being the first one home for the day and running a bath for yourself at around the same time kenma is due home from volleyball. you keep the bath products to a minimum, putting in something subtle like a simple vanilla bath melt cause you know kenma hates the frivolous stuff 

❤ in bed kenma’s normally pretty dominant but there’s something about him coming home, exhausted from practise, barely able to mumble out responses to your questions, that always makes him switch into someone who’s softer and vulnerable. you just want to take him into your arms and rub soothing patterns onto his back while he cuddles into your chest and allows you to take control

❤ he’s normally a pretty quiet guy in general but when you’re lavishing him with your attention, he’s been known to reward you with tiny little whines as you run your fingers through his wet hair, gently detangling it. the rare, sometimes needy sighs of pleasure you can draw from him when he’s in your arms are like music to your ears.

❤ a switch!kenma’s soft side just works wonders for me okay

im never having a shower again, kenma quietly declares to you as his tired body eases into the hot water to join yours.

not when we can be doing this instead you agree.

you offer him a tiny smile and hold open your arms to your boyfriend, signalling him to come closer. and he does - maneuvering his body so that he can press his back against your chest, turning his head so he can nuzzle into your neck. both your bodies adjusting to get comfortable in an almost mechanical way, your bodies dancing their usual practised routines with each other

you move your fingers to the base of his head so that you can free his hair and begin gently rubbing his scalp, concentrating on the sensitive areas that normally make your boyfriend melt. everytime he lets out a happy sigh after you brush your fingers against one, you follow it up by placing a small kiss there.

continuing to work in silence, your fingers work quickly as they isolate tense knots in his body and you concentrate your attention there until you can draw more delicious noises from kenmas throat. Neither of you talk. But you don’t need to.

in the quiet tiled bathroom where every noise is amplified, kenmas mind can be pleasantly blank and he’s close to falling asleep to only the sound of two heartbeats and his own deep breathing.

--

❤ T E N D O U ❤ (nsfw, dom/sub themes)

❤ will often use baths as a form of aftercare. he just loves soaking in the bath with you after sex, could (and often does) spend all day cuddling up to you, smothering you in gentle kisses and loving praise as he massages your fucked-out body

❤ likes all bath products, mostly oils though because it makes bathtime with you more sensual but will always have a fun reaction to the more exciting ones you buy - whether they’re glitter explosions or fizzing colours

❤ very picky about the temperature of baths and loves making the baths as hot as you can bear. he says the heat and steam of the bathroom helps set the mood

❤ often can’t keep his hands to himself though when the two of you are naked together so if you’re not too over stimulated and you’re ready for another round, his intimate massages will often lead to more

❤ okay but imagine washing tendous hair in the bath. he comes home after a long session of volleyball training and you’ve run him a bath like his good little angel. you slowly massage your fingers into his scalp, rubbing shampoo through his long, red hair and you can just feel him melt against you as the tension leaves his body. might even let a few mewls of contentment escape his mouth as you make him feel good - payment for all the times he makes you feel good.

if I just wanted to relax kitten, I would have stayed in bed tendous breath is hot as he whispers into your ear. you can’t see him when your back is pressed up against him like this but you can feel him. and god can you feel him, his hard dick making itself known as it pokes against your back. his attention sends a white-hot shiver down your spine thats not helped by the heat of the water around you.

his spider-like fingers move under the water to dance up your thighs and your breath hitches as he draws closer to your core, teasing you. always teasing you. tendous fingers move in a way that is confident and practised, much like in everything else he does

you tilt your head back so that you can see your boyfriends face and place hungry kisses against any part of him you can reach. he uses his other hand to grip onto your wet hair and yank backwards, a little too hard.

patience pretty girl he mutters and hes looking down at you with that look he always gets when the two of you are intimate. its a look that always makes you feel like something inside of you could break. sex with tendou is always rough and demanding, leaves you deliciously broken in more ways than one. but the way he looks at you when youre together in the bath like this is entirely different to the rough way he often treats you - he looks at you like you're the most precious thing in the world and he’ll do whatever he can to protect you.

the thought makes you whimper and you feel his hard cock throb at the pathetic little noises he can draw out of you

[btsslowburnfic]

Series Summary: For Namjoon, the moment he set his sights on being the #1 rapper, he pushed the symbol to the side and hated it. Love should be chosen, not forced on you. He didn’t believe in fate and this mark on his wrist was a big “fuck you” to all that.

AN: a loooong update where we get YN to Korea Previous Chapter here

The three of you made it safe and sound to your new brownstone across the river in New Jersey. Joe has a job lined up, but at the moment you and Xavier are unemployed. On this particular day, you are in your room job hunting when you hear a knock on your bedroom door and then see Xavier gently push it open. “Fly your ass to Korea. Now. Here,” Xavier throws a book at you. “I bought you a Korean dictionary.”

You roll your eyes. “Namjoon speaks English. And I can’t read the characters or whatever so how will a dictionary help. And, I’m not going to Korea.”

Xavier crosses his arms in front of his body. “Girl. You are still in your twenties. You have no job. There is a hot man who is also your soulmate across the ocean. GO TO KOREA.” You pick your phone back up, ignoring him. You hear him let out a frustrated sigh and leave the room. You didn’t know what you wanted. You didn’t tell them that Namjoon had passed along his schedule to you and that he would be in Korea for 6 weeks starting in two weeks and that he had offered to buy you a plane ticket. You kept going back and forth. Fine. Fuck it.

YN: Hey! I’ve been thinking and I would like to come visit. As long as it’s not too much trouble and won’t interfere with your schedule

You let out a breath and put the phone down. One thing you have learned is that he keeps very strange hours and there is no way of knowing when he will be awake, when he will be performing, or even what country he is in. You are shocked when you receive a reply instantly.

NJ: It’s no problem. I will be working a lot of the time, but there is also some free time blocked out so make sure you’re ready to do some sightseeing as well on your own. I’ll rent a noona for you.

YN: I have no idea what that means but ok. Sounds exciting.

NJ: You can rent tour guides. An “older sister” to translate and show you around on some of the days.

YN: That would be amazing! Ok. Sounds great!!

NJ: I’ll book the flight and email you the information.

YN: Awesome ^_^ Thank you so much.

You try to keep your cool. You really do. But it doesn’t last long as you sit the phone down and walk out into the hallway. “Xavier!”

“What? Brat.” You hear him call from the living room.

“I’m going to Korea!” You say with a big smile on your face.

“Holy shit. You’re doing it!?! Really? When?” He sits up straight on the couch.

“I’m not sure. He’s booking the flight.”

“Oh my God. Oh my God. IT’S HAPPENING. Come. Sit here. Let’s watch some Kdramas. We need to prepare you.”

You roll your eyes but join him on the couch anyway.

--3 weeks later--

The flight isn’t too bad. When Namjoon booked your ticket you did secretly wonder if he would spring for an upgraded seat since you know...you guessed he was rich. You did not expect that he was going to pay for a first class seat though. The comfort of the seats and the fact that food was actually delicious helped to balance out the longest flight you had ever taken in your life. You managed to get some rest on the plane, but not very much since you were so excited and nervous. You had not seen each other for a while. And the last time you saw him you were both naked.

When you arrive you don’t have any bags to collect; you just brought your carry-on. You know you are going to do a lot of shopping while you are there and had decided you would just buy a suitcase there. You walk down to departures and scan the crowd looking for your name. This was so exciting. You had been the person in the crowd holding a name placard before, but you had never had it done for you. It helped that it was one of the few names written in English. You smile and walk over to a man in a suit.  After confirming each other’s identity, you follow him out to a black SUV with tinted windows. He takes your bag and you slide into the backseat. 

YN: Hey! I’m on my way to the hotel. When will I get to see you?

NJ: Yeah….about that. There is no way I would be able to just be going in and out of a hotel without anyone here noticing. This isn’t LA. We can’t really go out in public much here. The driver will be taking you to my apartment complex. Once you get here, you will let security know who you are. They will provide you with a key and directions.

You weren’t expecting this at all, but it made sense.

YN: Umm ok. Sounds like a plan. 

You hoped to God someone at the security office spoke English. Oh well. You typed some things into your translation app just in case and tried to enjoy the scenery. It was a city, but it seemed a lot cleaner than LA. Less sunny, and more modern. At least the parts you were driving through.

After a fifteen minute taxi ride that has brought you into a very fancy part of Seoul you try to keep your cool as your driver assures you that this is the location you are supposed to be at. It is fancy looking as fuck and has a giant ass gate around it. The driver pulls up and shows his credentials and then pulls up and rolls your window down.

The security officer stands there, looking at you. You pull out your passport and state your name. He looks over a sheet of paper and nods. Handing you an envelope that feels like it has a keyboard and some papers in it. You thank him in shitty Korean and the driver closes the window. You open the envelope.

“Hey. If you’re getting this, I wasn’t able to get off work in time to meet you. The driver knows which building to go to. Use this key to go to unit 4106. Text me when you get there. Sorry!

Namjoon”

The chauffeur drives between several of the buildings. The streets are lined with trees and there appeared to be several small gardens between the buildings. The car comes to a stop outside building 4. The driver gets out to open your door and hands you the bag. You thank him and head into the building.

The apartment building was a lot like a luxury hotel, you find yourself thinking. It was decorated similarly with gilded light fixtures and a marble floor. You scan your key card at the elevators and head up to the 10th floor. 

It becomes very obvious from the minute you walk in that this is Namjoon’s actual apartment. His giant shoes are all over the foyer.  You purse your lips and take out your phone.

YN: YOU DIDNT SAY IT WAS YOUR APARTMENT

NJ: Relax sweetheart, the guest bedroom is for you. I’m hardly ever there. Make yourself at home and I’ll see you later ;p

YN: THATS NOT THE POINT

NJ: You’re welcome. Stop being a brat and enjoy.

You pout a little bit. Fine. Fine. You’ve already slept with him so why does it matter if this is his apartment. Because it feels so much more intimate, you think. You enter into the space while texting Xavier.

YN: New chapter in the Kdrama series. 

You knew Xavier would normally be sleeping, but he was so excited and wanted to make sure you made it safely he was wide awake.

X: Oh no, what?

YN: he didn’t arrange for me to stay in a hotel IM AT HIS APARTMENT.

X: AHAHAHAHAHA HOLY SHIT. Is it nice? Is there like a waterfall? Does it smell like rich people? Send pictures!

YN: I don’t think I should send pics since he’s famous, but there are no waterfalls that I can see. It smells normal. Actually no, it smells new, like people don’t really live here. Stay tuned for updates.

X: Has he dicked you yet?

YN: -_- he’s stuck at work. And I’ll be in the guest bedroom thankyouverymuch.

X: Yeah….ok…..suuuuuuure.

You put your phone back in your pocket and continue to wander around the apartment. It is the size of a house. There is a small terrace running  along the side of the unit and three open rooms that flow together. I guess rich people need more than one living room? You wonder. They are all furnished with couches and art. The floors are a beautiful Marble. Or Granite. Some expensive imported thing. You notice several plants on the wall as well as out on the terrace. Huh. I did not think he would be into plants, you find yourself thinking.

YN: Nice plants

NJ: My pride and joy

You smile and walk into the kitchen. It looks like a showroom. You doubt much cooking goes on here. If you could afford to eat out all the time you would too. You open the fridge and as predicted, it is mostly empty. There are a few bottles of water and some random condiments. Panic strikes you as you begin to wonder if there’s a coffee maker in this apartment. This could be a deal breaker; you might have to flee to the Marriott. There isn’t one sitting out. You frantically open cabinets. You make eye contact with a very fancy looking Espresso maker. Ok. You will learn how to use this beast. You sit it out on the counter and plug it in. Crisis averted for now. You continue through the rest of the house. You quickly find the master bedroom. Big bed. That’s all you take note of before closing the door. You don’t want to be nosy. You wander to the other end of the apartment and find an extra bedroom and an office. You don’t go to the office, but do take your stuff into the guest bedroom. You are feeling tired and starting to feel hungry.

YN: When will you be back? Is there a convenience store nearby? I need coffee and/or food.

NJ: Sorry. It will still be a while. Actually there are several stores on property. The closest one is in building 2. Here, download the app. I’ll send you the login info.

YN: Thanks.

You change out of your traveling clothes into real clothing and head to the market. The apartment complex’s layout is fairly easy to understand once you look at the app. You walk over to tower 2 and ride the elevator to the market level. It looks like the atrium of a cruise ship. There is a giant crystal chandelier hanging in the middle of the lobby area as well as beautiful indoor trees, glass art bulbs, probably a peacock or two wandering around, and some light music playing in the background. Oh God. I should just starve. This is too fancy. I need to leave.  

You turned to leave when you heard a voice speaking politely in Korean. You ignore it, and then hear the same voice ask in English,  “Excuse me, Miss. Can I help you?” A short man in his 50’s walked over. “I’m on the concierge staff here. You must be new.” 

“Ah yes. Thank you. Umm...Coffee please?”

“Of course. Take-away or beans?”

“Both please?” You ask, trying to keep it simple and very thankful for the English.

“Yes of course. If you just get me the unit number I can actually just have it sent there. Also there is an ordering and delivery app you can use next time if you would like to save yourself the walk.” The man explained while he typed some information into a tablet. 

“That’s very helpful. Thank you. For today, now please.” 

“Very well miss, please insert your chip or resident card here and sign,” he turned the tablet towards you. You inserted your debit card.  

“Thank you. Please wait.”

You take a seat in the fancy lobby area and get out your phone. You had some messages from Namjoon.

[NJ]: Oh, there is also an app you can download and order groceries to the apartment. 

[NJ]: I usually eat at work so I forget about it.

[NJ]: Sorry, you probably already hiked there.

A smirk crossed your face as you started to type a response.

[Y/N]: Sorry, I just saw these. And no worries. It’s a beautiful part of the complex. I was a little overwhelmed to be honest but the concierge was very helpful!  10/10 recommend.  

You take a picture of the lobby area and send it to him.

[NJ]: wow, yeah that’s beautiful. I haven’t actually been there myself.

The concierge returns, handing you a coffee and a bag of coffee beans.  You thank him profusely one more time.

“My pleasure. Take care.”

You sit the beans down and pose with your coffee cup, snapping a selfie to send to Namjoon.

[Y/N]: There, now all is right with the world ^_^

[NJ]: :) See you soon!

You travel back to the apartment and unpack your suitcase. You try your hardest to stay awake, but at this point you have been up for over 24 hours and you can feel the pull of sleep. You’ll just lay down for a nap. 

---------

It is dark outside by the time Namjoon gets off work. He feels bad he couldn’t meet you in the car at the airport, and even worse that he’s kept you waiting for hours. You haven’t answered any of his texts these past few hours either. He opens the door to his apartment. The lights are off. Did you leave? He wonders. He flips on the light and sees your shoes by the door which put a smile on his face. You must be sleeping. He hasn’t actually been in his apartment for about 2 months. It was mostly the same as he left it, except most of the time when he returned the apartment had a stale smell from having been left empty. This time it smelled like coffee and girl.

He enters the main living area and finds you laying in a small blanket nest on the couch with a laptop on the table; a coffee cup resting on a coaster next to it. He smiles and goes through to his bedroom to deposit his travel bag. He washes his face and changes clothes and then proceeds to nervously pace. Should he wake you up? You were probably tired, but at the same time, to prevent jet lag you shouldn’t sleep too much, and he wanted to hang out with you. He wrestles with this issue for a while and then decides he will try to wake you up.

He gently shakes your foot, “Hey sleepy. Wake up.” 

“Mmmmmmmmmmm…” you respond. What’s happening? You kick the thing bothering your foot. So annoying. You hear a deep voice laugh. Oh shit, where were you again? The shaking of your foot resumes and you crack open one of your eyes and see Namjoon sitting on the couch. “Heyyyy.”

“Hey there sweetheart. Nice seeing you in Korea.”

You feel your heart do a little flip flop at the way he’s talking to you but you want to play it cool. “Yeah. It’s good to be here.” You stretch out and move to sit up.

“How are your legs doing?” He asks.

“Good. They get stiff pretty easily and I still have to do my exercises everyday but they don’t hurt most of the time or anything. I get pretty bad headaches from time to time, but you already knew that. Sorry about that by the way.”

“It’s fine, I just carry aspirin around with me now.” He shrugs. “Did you get any food? Should I order something?”

“Yeah. Order some super Korean food.” You are fully awake now.

“Yeah? You serious? It’s not going to be like Koreatown food.” He teases

“Might as well jump in. If I don’t like it, there’s always rice, right?” You smile.

“That’s true,” he takes out his phone to order dinner.

“What did you do today?”

“Today was planning for the Festa. Even though it’s months away we have to make sure we have enough content planned just in case there are any unforeseen delays.”

“Cool.” You say. You had done your basic level ARMY research so you were somewhat familiar with their different activities.

“How was your flight? You should probably get up and stretch those legs around. Get up.” He pushes your shoulder playfully.

“Ughhh….fine. By the way. Nice apartment. Is rent like 20 grand a month?” You stand up groaning slightly like an old woman. Damn stiff legs.

“Uhh...I paid 6 million dollars for it up front so I don’t pay rent. Do you want anything to drink?”

It’s a good thing you weren’t drinking anything when he dropped that little factoid on you or you would have spit it out comic-book style. Jesus. That explained the security and Gucci grocery store. “Uh water please.” You walked over following him to the kitchen. “It’s good to see you by the way. Thanks for inviting me.” You slowly remember how to speak like a human again.

“Sure. I wish I had more free time to spend with you, but I’m glad you were able to make it.” He fills a glass with water for you. “Wait a minute! Before I forget,” he jogs out of the room and returns with a small box. “Here, this is for you. We were in Australia last month and I wanted to get something for you.”

You are surprised. It didn’t occur to you that he would think about you or buy you something. Until a few months ago you had considered yourself a nuisance. “Wow, thank you so much. You didn’t have to do that.” you say, taking the box, “I hope it’s a tiny KNOIFE or tiny koala or tiny kangaroo,” you open the box. It is an adorable mug with a Koala on it superimposed on the Australian Continent. It says in English, “Lucky Australian Koala.” You burst out laughing, cupping the mug with both your hands in front of your face. “This is perfection. Thank you so much for my authentic LUCKY AUSTRALIAN KOALA, I cannot wait to drink out of him tomorrow. Seriously. “ You sit the mug on the kitchen table. Fuck it. “Come here,” you gesture, and pull him in for a hug. His body feels solid against your and he gently wraps his arms around you. You give a firm squeeze. “Thank you for the mug and for flying me out here.”  You pull away and smile at him. 

He looks away almost shy, “It was nothing. I figure I still owe you a few for the pen incident.”

You take a drink of the water. “Yeah. You have had some dickish moments.” 

“Speaking of dickish behavior...do you want to talk about what happened with Ben or…?”

You shrug. “There’s not a lot to say. Ben apparently met his soulmate about 4 months before the car accident. He tried to stay away since we had already agreed that we didn't care about stuff like that. But he couldn't. I don't know when he started seeing Jessie behind my back. They were apparently banging all summer in the apartment and while I was in the hospital.” You take another gulp of water. Namjoon is surprised that he isn’t feeling much anger or sadness coming off of you. “After I got all my shit out of the apartment and had a chance to calm down, I couldn't be too mad about it you know? You and I had already slept together and most people aren't as stubborn as us. So really, how could they resist? I mean I was angry and sad at the time but at this point it seems like a lifetime ago. "

Namjoon had never asked about what had happened with Ben before, assuming that if you wanted to talk about it you would have brought it up. " Wow. "

"Yeah. I mean that's waaaay oversimplified but that's the gist of it. Anyways. Everything was a mess for me for a while. You know I stayed with Xavier and Joe and then  Xavier's husband got a really good job offer here so we all picked up and left LA."

“And now you’re in New York.” He finishes your thought

“Yeah. Well Jersey technically because rent is $1000 less a month. But I’m applying for jobs as assistant director at tv stations and theaters. I’m hopeful something will come up. I can’t really teach fitness classes anymore.”

Namjoon listens thoughtfully, feeling like a jackass for never asking about this stuff before. What kind of soulmate was he? 

“Well, let me know if you need a job reference.”

“Ahahahaha,” You laugh awkwardly. “No way. I don’t want people thinking I only got a job because I know someone famous.”

“Sweetheart, that’s how everyone gets jobs in the industry.” He leans against the counter.

“I don’t know, I’ll think about it.” You fidget

“You know I’ll just text Xavier and he’ll tell me the companies you applied for.” Namjoon flashes his dimples at you.

You scowl. “I didn’t realize you two were so chummy.”

“Hey, we bonded a lot in the hospital.” His phone let out a chirp. “The food is at the security office. I’ll be back in a few. Make yourself at home.” He heads over to the foyer to slip his shoes on. 

You decide to unpack and then wash your face and brush your teeth before returning to the main area where he has just returned. “That was fast”, you comment, meeting him near the door and taking a bag from his hands.

“I rode my bike over.” He replies, following you to the kitchen. 

“They let your clumsy ass ride a bike?” You tease, pulling food out.

He lets out a laugh, “Yeah. Just remember, only one of us has got hit by a car.”

“Touche. Touche. Alright. I don’t know what any of this is, so I’m going to go wait at the table like a lazy bitch.”

“Haha, fair enough. I’ll bring it over. “

You head over and have a seat at the dining table, placing your water down. This feels so weird. So intimate. He joins a few minutes later placing a bunch of food on the table along with a spoon and chopsticks.

“I’m sure there’s a fork around here somewhere if you need one.” He says as he opens the lids on the containers.

“I lived in LA where we ate sushi almost every day, I think I’ll be ok.” You sass back, ,looking over all of the delicious food. You start to dig in. He sits waiting to see what your reaction will be. You flash him a thumbs up as you chew. It’s definitely good. He smiles and begins to eat as well.

Dinner is relatively quiet. You had no idea how hungry you were until you started to eat. Some of the foods had a texture you didn’t quite care for, but overall you liked it all.

“Wow. That was delicious. Thank you so much.” You smile

“It was. You’re welcome.” He gets up and starts to clear the table and you join him. 

You continue to yawn involuntarily as the two of you straighten up the kitchen,

“Do you want some coffee or a nap?” he asks.

“I’m going to try and stay awake a little bit longer. What does the rest of the night look like?”

“Relaxing. I am exhausted from work. And you don’t look so fresh yourself. LEt’s watch a movie or something.” He says it so casually. Like this is a normal thing the two of you do. Like it hasn’t been months since the last time you saw each other and you left him naked and alone in a bed. You feel your heartbeat speed up.

“Hold on, I’m changing into some comfy clothes before I make this commitment.” you get up and head towards your room.

You come back in leggings and a shirt. Namjoon has re-positioned himself on the end of the couch. You sit next to him. “Ok, all set,” you grab your blanket. 

“You take your comfort quite seriously,” Namjoon laughs as he hits the play button. 

“Definitely,” you respond, yawning. After about half an hour, It’s dark outside, the night spilling into the living room. You are trying to keep your eyes open. You feel Namjoon put his large arm around you. You don’t resist, you nestle into it. You feel the warmth of his body radiating against you. It feels so nice.You try to stay awake but your eyelids grow heavy.  The next thing you know, you wake up slowly, not quite oriented to where you are. Your face is sweaty. You take stock of your surroundings. You are still in the living room. You must have fallen asleep while watching the movie. You move a bit and realize you are not alone. Namjoon is asleep as well. Underneath you. Oh god. You probably trapped him. Is that your drool on his shirt? You wonder. But you know that yes, it definitely is. Jesus [Y/N].Not making a great impression here.  Must sneak out so the drool will dry before he wakes up. You move as stealthy as possible off of him, which is very difficult since you found yourself laying between his legs. How did you even get like that? You had gone in for a light snuggle to see how it would be received and then apparently passed out dead. No more starting movies when you were tired. You knew it was your weakness. 

The poor man probably had to pee and was stuck, forced to lay underneath you until he fell asleep.    Is he snoring? Huh. Well ok. You drool and he snores. Very attractive individuals. You grab a blanket from your nest on the other side of the couch and put it on top of him. You sneak down the hallway to your bathroom, pee and sneak into your bedroom. You lay down and try to fall asleep, but your heart is beating fast as all you can think about it falling asleep on Namjoon. You feel your face grow warm. You are  a mix of turned on and embarrassed. You turn off your light and wonder if he will still want to go sightseeing with your drooly-ass tomorrow.  @calling-dips-on-j-hope​​  @ghostkat23​​ @cuteipat​​ @marianeamine​​@thisisval​​ @almonte12​​  @themisunderstoodblackswan​ @bobbyboops​  @betysotelo18​ @katerbees​

[xeo-kunsatan]

MonsterOlympics One Shot +13 (Part 2)

This One shot is divided in parts because is long as hell XD, as well this contains many racy jokes, black humor and swearing, if youre sensitive with this humor i recommend you to not read this shit, as well this One shot is just for fun. (Sorry this time i have no illustrations, im Lazy, use your imagination XD)

Nobody have expected it, Farley and Toralei run quickly to hug eachother, they

were really happy to see eachother again.

The Students from Monster High were surprised because their most problematic and devilish Classmate was acting completely lovely with surprisely a Dog, something unusual in her especially for her pals Purrsephone and Meowlody who didn't understand their friend's behavior.

Cleo The Nile

Daughter of the Momy

Age: 5843 (or more)

Gender: Female

Species: Momy

Cleo: I cant Believe what my Beautiful eyes are watching...

Pinky: Me too Sis... Me too..

Farid: here we go again...

Claw: Mew?

P&M: Meww~

The Twin Cats went close to Them catching their attention.

Purrsephone and Meowlody

Daughters of Werecats.

Age: 16

Gender: Females

Species: Werecats

Purrsephone: You most be her Frrriend's brotherrrs~?

Farren: didn't you know that she was a friend of a Dog?

Meowlody: she told us something similarrr before, but we thought it was a joke knowing her.

Farid: well for more surprising it seems, it's true.

Purrsephone: do you know since when they meet eachother?

Farren: since we used to be pups living in the streets, one day we found her escaping from a store-man, prepare yourself because this part will make this part long.

Flashback.

The street of Monsteropolis was chill, a group of 3 Poodle puppies where looking for something to eat.

Farren: Agh I'm Hungry, and you?

Farid: *sob* i think i have a hole inside my stomach...

Farley: Calm down brothers, maybe we can go to Madame Ghoulasha's shop to ask for food. you know the trick, We Knock the door, we will use the puppy eyes effect against her and she will give us food.

Farren: i still don't understand why that trick works that well.

Farid: isn't obvious? We are pretty adorable but More me~.

Farren: *chuckles* aren't supposed to have a "hole inside your stomach?".

Farid: Hey! I'm Hungry but I'm still fabulous.

Farley: Guys look!

Suddenly the puppers found a shop man ogre chasing a kitten with a bottle.

Mr Ogre: Come back here you stupid mutt!!

Toralei: as you wish!

Mr Ogre followed the kitten to a dark alley

Farley: we can't leave them like that

Farren: Are you Serious!? It's a Cat!!

Farid: Eww yeah, what if they has fleas?

Farley: We have fleas too..*shows them a flea walking through his paw furr* and she needs our help, remember Stray animals always can help other stray animals.

Farren: but what if they doesn't thanks us?

Farley: We can throw them to the sewers

:3.

Farren: okay let's go.

The 3 puppies followed the Ogre to the Alley.

Mr Ogre: *manages to catch her*

Gotcha!

Toralei: No!!

Mr Ogre: Hah did you thought that you would escape from me?.

Toralei: Hssss!!! Let me go you bastard!!

Mr Ogre:*takes a razor* or what?

Toralei:..*gulp*...

Mr Ogre: heh your journey ends here kitty- agh!?

The Ogre was about to end with the kitten life but he suddenly was stopped by the tackle of the triplet Poodles, making him faint and drop the kitten.

Toralei: Mew!!

Farley:*catches her* Gotcha! Are you okay?

Toralei: T-thanks, *sniffs him* wait.. are you a Dog!? *Jumps off*

Farid: "your welcome" hmp!

Farley: Yes we are dogs, but i didn't wanted to leave you alone and less with that man about to make Cat-Hash with you.

Toralei: Well.. i usually can escape by myself but.. still, thank you.

Farley: at your service miss.. uhh

Toralei: Toralei Stripe, and you arrre?

Farley: My name is Farley, and this are my brothers, The sour one is Farren.

Farren: Hey!

Farley: and the Narcissist pup who is looking his reflection with the Ogre's razor is Farid.

Farid: who is a pretty puppy? I am! ÙwÚ.

Farley: and i am Farley, together we are the Fluffy Gang.

Toralei: Wow you are all a team, nice to meet ya, I wish I could have my own mates, my older siblings were all adopted except me...

Farley: don't worry, you can come with us and be part of the Gang!

Toralei: Yay! :D

Farid/Farren: What!? D:<

Farley: you can come with us the Time you want until you found out your own mates.

Toralei: Oki Doki! :D

Farren: Farley what the fluff!?

Farid: Whyyyy?~...

Farley: Aww c'mon guys it would be fun.

Farren: i don't think she would like to come with us.."we have fleas"

Toralei: I have Fleas too :D.

Farren: Ok Fair enough.

Farley: Well lets go >:3!

Suddenly the Ogre started to wake up

Mr Ogre: You Little-..

The Cubs: No D:<! *pulls out his cords*

Mr Ogre: What the-!!!... AAAARGHH!!

The Ogre fell from the stairs of another Alley, by then break his neck in the last step, dying in that moment. The Fluffy gang and Toralei didnt believed that they really killed someone.

Farid: *Panic Attack* Oh no! Oh no! we killed him! What we will do!? im too younger and beautiful to go to Jail!! D,:>!!

Toralei: Me Too! D,:<

Farren: *Slaps Farid* Farid Calm Down! this is not the moment for your whines!

Toralei: What we will do Farley?...

Farley:...Uhhhh... look! there is a tip to the sewers, we can throw the body there :D!.

Toralei: Good Idea >:D!.

Farren: Are we Literally ignore that we killed a man?..

Farid: *Sighs* at least we will not go to Jail ;w;

Farren: Ok lets do this!..

Then The Fluffy gang and Toralei with effort, they managed to threw the body of the Ogre to the sewers so anyone will not notice their crime.

Farren: Well, the Job is finished... what now?

Farid: Oww im Still hungry ....

Toralei: Guys, that man had a shop with full of food, thats where i taked the Bottle with milk wich is not in the ground...

Farley: Ok lets go for some snacks! :D

The Fluffly Gang and Toralei: Yay :D

Flashback Ends.

Farren: And thats How we meet Toralei

Farid: Cute isn't?

Meowlody: a little...

Purrsephone: we literrrally thought it was a joke.

Meowlody: And i cant believe that you killed a man..

Farid: We were just babies, we didnt know what we are doing heheh~

Claw: hm?

Meowlody: and this little one?

Farren: Its Claw, His Dying mother gave him to us to save him from the hunters, so he lives with us as a younger sibling, The Principal Stratos usually overprotects him.

P&M: Thats so cute from you part mew~

Claw: *sniffs them* mew

P&M: *sniff him* ...

Claw: *purrrs*

P&M: Awww

Farley: I cant believe we are finally together

Toralei: Me too! ;w; *Purring* I missed you so much!

Farley: *Waving tail* I missed you too!

Frankie: Its so Cute to see this...

Meanwhile..

Manny Taur

A Fucking Minotaur Bully

Age: 17

Species: Minotaur

Gender: Male

Manny: Aww look at this, what are you supossed to be Rabbit?

Bradley: a Vampire/Jackalope Hybrid

Manny: Hah! Vampire!? but youre so tiny

Bradley: well at least the size your dick compensates the size of your brain and intelligence..

Manny: *blushes* How dare you!?

Bradley: well.. its part of your biology..

Manny: Thats it you are Death!

Frankie: Manny No!

Manny was about to Hit Bradley (wich didnt seem scared) but suddenly he was attacked by Skeebo before he would hurt his beloved bunny.

Skeebo: Dont you dare to hurt my boyfriend!

Manny: Your Boyfriend? *chuckles* dont play dumb, you are a fox and Foxes eats rabbits like him!

Skeebo: *Whispers* Shh shh please dont expose what i do with him everynight~

Bradley: im an Arctic Hare not a rabbit...wait*blushes* Skeebo!

Skeebo: Sorry Dear~

Manny: you guys are gross...

Frankie: Thats Enough Manny, do you want me to tell Minnie about your Behavior?

Manny: Oh no! Please dont tell my sister!...

Skeebo: Heh... he is afraid of his sister~

Manny: At least i have a sister

Skeebo: !!!......

Bradley: You son of a Bitch! how dare you!? just because you heard the most of us are orphans doesnt give you the rights of making fun of Us!

Frankie: Wait.. are you Orphans?..

Skeebo: Thats it!...

A Fight Started between Manny and Skeebo, but it was stopped by Miss Bloodgood and Stratos.

Bloodgood: You 2 Stop!

Stratos: You both will go to detention!..

Manny: Thats why Maze High is a bad copy of Monster High, the Students here are all Awfull!!

All: *Gasps*

Claw: *Cries*

Farley/Toralei: What did you said!?

Farren/Farid: You will pay for this!

Betrayus: calm down.. not here!

Skeebo: You said that because at least all of you have their own families...

Bloodgood: Manny Taur...you will be grounded by the rest of the event, the meeting is over..

Stratos: Mistress Bloodgood...I am so sorry for this..

Bloodgood: No no... its not your fault, *sighs* i will correct my student.. Good luck in the event..

Stratos: Good luck for you too...

Manny: *gulp*...

Stratos: Me too...

Frankie: Oh gosh.. i am so sorry..

Skeebo: Its Okay.. we are all used to be seeing like this..*Leaves* Bradley: Skeebs...*sighs*.... its true... While me as some less of my classmates.. mostly of them are all orphan.. for it they basically live here..

Frankie: Ou... i have no idea..

Bradley: Its okay.. as my boyfriend said.. we are used to be judged by other schools... and... Mostly of that students from other schools have their own families...*follows Skeebo*...

Frankie: *Sighs*

The meeting ended and the Monster High Students returned to their homes, while the students from Maze high returned to their dorms, an exception to Farley and Toralei wich where in the school garden trying to calm down Claw.

Farley: Awww Claw dont cry, he will not hurt you.

Toralei: when i see him, i will scratch his ugly bull face so nobody will recognize him not even with the passaport.

Claw: *sob* *sob*

Toralei: Dont Cry little Fella, that awfull bull will not hurt you anymore *pets Claw*

Claw: *Purrs*

Farley: Thank you Toralei, maybe im tired of the boring boomer of Stratos but he still needs a rest.

Toralei: You dont have to thank me, this fella needed it.

Farley: thats right...*Blushes* Its so nice to have you here..

Toralei: *Blushes* Ahh.. yeah i feel the same, heh

Farley: You want me to accompany to your home?

Toralei: Nah, i can go by myself, cats loves nocturnal walks.

Farley: W-w-well see you tomorrow..

Toralei: S-see you T-tomorrow...

Toralei left the gardens to return to her home, while Farley was watching her leave still blushed.

Farley: *sighs*

Claw:*giggles*

Farley: what?..

To be Continued..

[the-quiet-carrotcake]

Evil Author Day! 2020

I decided to contribute some wips to this beautiful day! 

Reminder that they may never be finished :)

Here are my humble offerings:

Batman fandom

Warnings for dark themes, swearing, creepiness, inapropriate humor, sarcasm

1.Au "With This Ring"

Nightwing is closest when Babs issues the notice. 20 minutes after they lost contact with Red Robin, he arrives at the scene. Dresses thrown around like confetti, suspicious tears and stains on them. He carefully makes his way inside, noting the signs of forced entry. Inside the shop, a chaos of mannequins parts and broken furnitures greet Nightwing but what makes his heart drop is a single mannequin on the pedestal in front of the mirrors, Red Robin's cape messily draped over it. It is visibly damaged and worst, dripping in fresh paint of familiar garish colors with a piece of paper pinned with a knife through the neck. N doesn't register himself moving until he has the paper in his hands. A message written in a too familiar and hated script. Joker. Joker has his baby brother and he is going… He's gonna…

"-twing! Respond! Nightwing answer me!"

Footsteps coming from the back.

"Oracle, I'm at the location. Whoever was here, they escaped through the sewers. There's footprints leading to the basement. Found one of Red's gloves. Access the plans and possible- I have visual on Nightwing."

2. Animal transformation au

A not so abandoned part of a factory on the edge of an old industrial zone. Creepy, a health and safety hazard, there's even a couple of traps! How lovely! Reminds me of my childhood home… oopsy there Ader! Shoulda watch where you walk! Hehe… Oh, somebody shut him up! We're on a schedule here! If the Doc's here, he knows we coming now. Bah! One surprise ruined, lots more to come! 

"You! Take a camera and film around the place! Such opportunities!! The angles. Don't forget the angles! Dolly Sisters, go with him. And be discreet. We don't want bats in our belfry too soon, do we? Hehehe"

"The brat's still out? Good. Okie doo. Let's meet the maker!"

"Good evening Doc! We rang."

"I heard. Interesting doorbell… Like a dying man..."

"Why! Thank you! Now. We don't have an appointment, tight schedule and all. But I'm sure you can squeeze us in."

The doc look at the group, spotting what appears to be the Robin bound and unconscious in one of the thugs arms.

"You brought your own subject for my studies?"

"Of course we came with presents! What kind of maniac do you take me for?"

Going to a file cabinet, taking out a binder with the list of choices available and putting it on a rickety table with a flickering old lamp, the man motion them to come take a look.

"Hmm. Do you have a preference?"

Joker make a show of looking at the pages, fussing here, cooing there, until, grin widening, he puts his finger on a line.

"You know what Doc? The brat's a bore, worse than his babysitter! Never heard him laugh! It's heartbreaking."

"Oh yes yes. I have something you might like. Please, follow me this way."

They follow the doc into another crumbly room, repurposed into a makeshift lab with a refrigerated cabinet full of vials, a sturdy table with straps and a reinforced large animal carrier in close to it. Further, through door shaped hole in the far wall, glimpses of cages shining dully in the dim light. It looks like veterinarian kennels, mostly large ones, some were even on wheels.  They could see fingers and what looks like claws peeking through the wiring.

"Got lots of guinea pigs there Doc?"

"The change cause less stress and has more survival chances if the subject is young. Of course it depends of the size and animal wanted." Eyeing one of the bulkier thugs. "I haven't try the… bigger ones yet. Cow, rhino...maybe walrus."

3. Semi immortal Jason au "The Lives Of Jay"

Hood walk back to his safe house, because his motorbike ain't where he stashed it, after a rough night in the Narrows. No hood or mask on his face, but with the amount of ashes he's covered in, there's almost no risk of exposures. Clothes singed, burn to a crisp in certain places, he mourns the lost of his weapons, his boots and his favorite jacket. Finally arrived at his safe house, making a beeline for the bathroom. Shower time! Sweet hot water washing away the grime. 

It's after his shower, with a towel around his waist, that Jason realize the state of the safe house, there's dust on certain places and a couple dirty take outs boxes on the kitchen counter, with the coffee machine almost shining out of the mess.

Fuck, did it happened again? How long has it been? Maybe he can play it off, say he had an urgence with the Outlaws?

A beep/alarm from his laptop on the coffee table (that he did not left there) caught his attention.

"Hood?" Even with the electronic filter, Jason could pick up that Babs was shaken and hesitant? Shit. He must have triggered a sensor they put there. Okay, play it cool.

"O. What's up?" Now that sounds just like an idiot.

"Heard rumors there was a big building fire in your neck of the woods. With you in it."

Shit

"Just some trigger happy idiots in a room with explosives. Big company with no scrupules likely. Families were in the building. Hey, I must have been knocked out by a beam or something, are the families ok?"

"Yeah, Hood, the Wayne foundations took care of them, they're ok." 

There's at least that. 

"Jason?"

That's not good.

"Spill, what's going on?"

"The fire had been really bad. We looked for you. All B found was blood, lots of blood and  your helmet, melted. And before you lie to me, your friends haven't seen you in months. Care to explain what happened?" 

Oh shit-fuck. Oh this was bad. He had to get out of Gotham, right now.

Quick before- How long has he been talking to Babs? Crap. He doesn't want to, but Jason will run with just the damn towel on him if he has to.

"Jay?" Oh not Babybird, but better than the Bat, or Grayson.

Turning to the window with the fire escape outside, he sees Red Robin climbing in.

"Uhm. Hey Red."

The glare he received gives him an idea of how much shit he's in.

"First off, go put some clothes on. And please don't try to run away. The others have been notified, I was closest."

"Ok ok, while I change, can you explain to me why my place looks like a dumpster?"

"Yeah, I'm working a case, or half a dozen, trying to cover your territory. It's been a rough couple of months, you know?"

That has Jason freeze. "Months? Really?"

"Yeah man. So, as much as you don't want to, we are going to the Manor."

"Whoa wait a min-"

"No, Jason. We're going. And if you try to run, remember, we all have supers and speedsters on call. Come on man, there's something going on with you and we need to know what."

"Dude I just got home after climbing out of burned ruins and walking in disintegrated boots. I'm tired, hungry and not in the mood to see B or Dick right now."

"That's good then, because Bruce is out with the JL and Dick's in 'haven, Damian with him, O made sure the alarm didn't reach them."

"You're welcome" The computer chirps. 

"Come on Jay. Alfred needs to see you."

Cheater, taking him by the sentiment.

"Low blow. But alright. How we go?"

"My bike's not far, yours at the Cave."

"What?!"

"Bruce has trouble letting go, you know?"

"I'd prefer it if had been stolen instead."

4."The Distraction"

Assassins surrounding Tim, being less and less subtle, encircling their prey as the bird is making his way through less populated areas.

"The Master is demanding your presence."

"How can he be so interested in an american?" 

"One as bothersome as him?"

"Hey! I'm not happy by the situation either, ok?"

"You know better than question the will of The Demon."

"Didn't I kicked your asses before?"

"The Cradle."

"So mixing business and pleasure then."

The Master orders are to bring you to him. He did not specified the condition he wants you in. 

"Wow. This is getting a bit serious. And my communications are blocked, of course." 

Of course. You understand how we operate. Now, will you accompany us without resistance or will you have us dragging your broken corpse to the Master?

5. "Magic gives Batman a headache"

"B. We have a situation"

"What happened?"

"Well, Im hoping for an hallucination but I got evidences of it actually happening."

"Nightwing"

"Okay, here goes: Hood and Red have been kidnapped by a magic user in a Disney princess costume."

"..."

"B"

"Red Hood and Red Robin have been kidnapped? By a magic user?... Dressed in a princess costume?"

"Yup. Come to think of it, I think the guy was dress as Snow White."

"A man in a Snow White costume has kidnapped your brothers?"

"Yup. I got video footage"

"Come back to the Cave, I'll contact Zatanna. Alfred? I'm gonna need something stronger than coffee"

[scandeniall]

ri’s self ship

Self ship tag:

Listen I was tagged by mother Sam @samwrights almost 3 weeks ago and this shitshow has been sitting in my notes since then. To the point where the original tag is long gone in my notifications so I cant even the low it 😭

Anyways let me clear this out and say I ship me with my original number one hq boy: Kuroo

Alrighty eye suppose

Ok so me and kuroo most definitely met our first year of college. First day of class in some random ass gen ed like history yeah that works. And y’all know how profs be like “get to know the person next to you and exchange numbers.” Now I’m like—- wow he’s hot but I know how to play it cool. Anyways so we do a quick intro and then he complements my hair

“I like the decorations,” and I do my general awkward but friendly laugh and say thanks. Anyways that’s how it starts. We finish that awkward ice breaker where it’s like “tell your neighbor why you’re taking this class” and bc we’re both sarcastic dummies it’s like “bro cause it’s fucking required”

Anyways it’s now class two and I’m one of them bitches who gets to class early (in the beginning of the year) bc I like picking my seat. So the seat I picked was in the middle row off near the end on the first day so I sit there again and then kuroo comes back and I’m shook bc i didn’t expect him to sit back there. /Alright so ima use an example of how I met one of my guy friends this past year/ so let’s say this is one of them annoying ass classes where there’s like some mini assignment due every class. So kuroo suggests how about we take turns doing the assignment and sending the other the answers. And I’m like yeah ok I could use that break every other day. So yes that’s how we get each other’s numbers

So that’s basically how the first half of the semester goes. Over time we both make some slight convo with other ppl in our class around us but still sit our unassigned assigned seats next to each other. But now it’s nearing midterms. And at this point yeah I dont come to class early anymore like I’m there like 5 minutes before but history class bro kuroo always makes sure a seat next to him is saved bc at this point he knows I’m like rushing.

Anyways I nearly knock him out with my big ass bag as i squeeze past him in these tight ass aisles and he’s all dramatic saying I’m trying to kill him and got me laughing but also frantically apologizing. Anyways he’s like “yo do you wanna study for this exam together.” I love friends but I’m actually so shy so I say yeah and we make a plan. We’re gonna link like 3 times before the exam next week. The first time being that same night.

Alright so we go about the rest of our day until it’s like 8pm and we’re both done with our own other club commitments and stuff so I’m like walking around the library looking for him slightly nervous bc attractive ppl make me nervous and we’re meeting up for the first time outside of class. I walk around in a circle like 3 times until his y’all ass pop up behind me (note I’m 5’0). “Didn’t see you there” and I’m one of them bitches that be like “woooooooow ok”

Anyways we find a little table in the back of the crowded library and yeah the first 20 minutes were not doing shit. We pull out our laptops and notes but really we’re just talking. He’s the type to as you about your day and since I’m like perpetually tired I’m like “yeah I’m ready for bed I just got out of a meeting and it was sooooo long.” And then we actually kinda find out one another’s campus involvements and he finds out I’m in a retail and food club and I find out he plays for the intermural volleyball team and his a science loser

Anyways yeah from there our friendship blooms and continues on into the following semester where we sign up for another two gen eds together and I end up meeting his old high school friend y’all and watching them mfs argue is the funniest shit. I’m always catching their dumb arguments on Snapchat

Yeah let’s fast forward to our junior years. Over the past 2 years our friendship grew from platonic to just flirtatious friends and by now we’re flirtatious friends whose touches linger just a lil longer to be platonic. By this time we’re both living in apartment buildings (it ended up being the same one) and are both hella busy with upper level classes and both have like 5 campus involvements plus jobs.

Whenever we see each other one of us is always like half dead. But we still find time to hangout even though it’s mostly at one of our apartments. Since we live in the same building and kuroo is in a bigger 3 bedroom over my 2 I tend to go upstairs to his more often.

So Its like 9pm on a Thursday night and i don’t have Friday classes and I’m finally home for the day and as soon as i shower put in my comfy sweats, wipe off my eyebrows and put on and bonnet here comes kuroo FaceTiming me. Yes we’re at the point in our friendship where we only answer with half of our faces. “You don’t have any other friends come keep me company”

Bc he’s hit and my friend I’m like yeah whatever and go up the 2 floors to his place and he’s literally at his desk doing homework. “You made me get out of bed to watch you do homework” and he just does that stupid smirk before telling me I can just chill on his bed. So listen I think he’s the type to keep his room fucking freezing so I’m like getting under his covers and he asks me to play dj.

Now ok my music taste is all over the place but my main genre is rnb so yeah. Kuroo knows this and over the years I put him on to a lot of it so yeah I’m gonna turn on Brent faiyaz and he’s just over at his desk working and vibing. He tells me he likes my music taste (and bc I throw in a lil bit of everything for him)

As two Scorpio’s were both used to lowkey subtly making people do what we want them to do. So like it’s the cat and mouse type game with us and we keep tryna make the other person take it further

We don’t even know when we start dating shit it’s just one day “y’all dating?” “Yeah” so much for an anniversary date

I’d hang out with him way too much bc my lack of friends is sickening. And I like doing random shit so let’s go to the park at 3am and hope we don’t get in trouble

I’m hungry at 3am let’s go a store that’s open 24 hours and deliriously roam the half stocked aisles

At this point kuroo just invites himself over on my Sunday wash days bc he knows that shit is gonna taken hours. ESPECIALLY when I’m taking my braids out

Kuroo the type of bf to help me take my braids out and not be completely grossed out at the dirt residue from the hair style. “Baby what if I put this under a microscope” yeah he’s disgusting though

He’s also the bf to try and help me detangling every time but my scalp is v sensitive so at some point I’m just like “yeah I’m gonna need you to STOP”

We’re both chaotic is this even a relationship or are we just besties? I’m that annoying friend that tries to record everything but he’s so tall in comparison to me that he gets cut off the camera half the time

We’re both annoying and stay ready with witty comebacks so we playfully bicker way too much but it’s fun and we’re still inseparable

Idk what I’m doing here so ima end and sum up and say kuroo best boy. Best boy also dates and is your best friend and that is LITERALLY my vibe 110%

idk im very late to this trend so um i tag anyone who wants to do this

[ladyofpurple]

here it is: the post Literally no one was waiting for. i'd put it under a read more thing but i'm on mobile and can't be assed to get out of bed so fuck it. we air our dirty laundry on main for the world to see like men.

so waaay back in february or something, i started seeing a psychologist again. i'd been seeing a psychologist for a while last year, but she had a private practice and got too expensive over time, so i had to stop. now, however, i finally got a referral to the public mental health offices in my county. which is nice, because norway has this neat thing that means when you go to the doctor, public health care facilities, refill prescriptions for medications you have to take daily, etc, the money you spend on those things gets recorded and after you've spent like $260, you get a free card that gets logged into your medical records and you don't have to pay for any of those things for the rest of the year.

anyway, i mentioned a couple of years back that i finally got put on antidepressants for the first time. they helped a lot, but then i just... stopped taking them. there wasn't a reason, really. i just forgot to take them one week when i was stuck in bed with a headcold, and then it was hard to get back in the habit again. i tried to get back on them off and on for a long time, but i'd inevitably just forget again. until, like, i wanna say november/early december last year? i started taking them again. there were still some slip-ups every now and then, but for the most part i took them almost every day. any gaps were no longer than two, maybe three days at the most, and those gaps were maybe once a month or so on average. averages aren't really useful in this context, but i hope you get the idea.

anyway, i finally convinced my doctor that, no, seriously, i really need to see a psychologist, i've always needed to see psychologists my whole life, seeing psychologists help me, i can't afford a private psychologist so i need a public one, and after a lot of begging and insisting on my end and a lot of hemming and hawing on her end she finally agreed to refer me. except she forgot to actually send the email she'd been typing in front of me, and then she quit, so there was a lot of confusion and time spent sorting things out until i got my first appointment.

i didn't like my psychologist at first. she was way older than i'm usually comfortable with (that's a personal me-problem that i know is irrational, and i'm not gonna go into the why but yes i'm working on it), and very blunt in an exasperated sort of way. she made me angry sometimes. she made me feel like i wasn't trying hard enough. but she helped me get shit done, so i guess she was doing something right.

in june she called in a psychiatrist to help adjust my medications, so i started taking zoloft in addition to the other medication (remeron, aka mirtazapine) that i was already taking. the mirtazapine was helping with my depression, but my anxiety was still pretty bad. the zoloft helped.

by my second appointment with my psychologist, she asked me whether i could have adhd, or if there was a history of it in my family. now, i have a lot of family with adhd (how closely related we are by blood is a bit of a mystery to me, my family tree is more like an overgrown hedge and who knows who fits where), and my grandma used to joke that the women in our family "all have a little bit of that adhd brain in us", but as far as i knew, nobody in my immediate, direct bloodline had such a diagnosis. i had my suspicions about myself, of course — i knew that not every focus or attention related problem necessarily has a specific attention disorder source, but i also knew that what i was experiencing couldn't be "normal," in the sense that if i walked into a room with 100 people in it, 86 of those people wouldn't necessarily look at a list of my symptoms and go "oh same hat." i've had add on my about me for a while now. maybe that was silly of me; i hadn't been diagnosed with it, and what i knew about the specifics of it were picked up piecemeal off the internet. you know, that super-reliable place where everyone is honest and factual all the time?

anyway, this began the process of investigating the merits of such a potential diagnosis. research was begun. questionnaires were taken. my mom was invited to one of my sessions, in which she revealed that, oh yeah, bee tee dubs, she's always suspected i have adhd. did she mention that she has also apparently always suspected ocd and that i'm autistic? no? whoops, well, she has now.

end of june i was referred to the neuropsychologist devision of the public health care place. over the course of a little over 6 weeks i went in for 2 interviews, in which i answered several questionnaires, talked about my life and childhood and traumas and what my mom had told me about her pregnancy and labor, every possible symptom i'd ever had, and was sent home with even *more* questionnaries. in addition to these, i went in for two rounds of "testing," in which i was tested on my memory, pattern recognition, reaction time, impulse control, and probably a dozen other things. i was nervous. it was exhausting. i wanted answers but was terrified of what those answers would be.

end of august, my mom came with me for the big reveal. and guess what? she was right. primary diagnosis: adhd, special emphasis on the attention deficit part. bonus diagnosis: asperger syndrome. surprise! i'm autistic, i guess.

it was hard to come to terms with. which sounds really silly, since i wouldn't have even been taking those tests if i didn't think the outcome was a possibility. and it's not like the diagnoses were surprising either. the adhd part was easier to accept, mostly because i already felt pretty confident i had it. but the asperger diagnosis was harder. having to unlearn all those ingrained ableist stereotypes and social stigmas is hard, especially when you had some you didn't even realize were there. it's very surreal to think a thought and be like "no, wait, i do that. that joke is about me." it's a very surreal and slightly upsetting experience to realize how biased you are as general rule, but especially about a facet of your own identity you weren't aware of. and the feeling of everything and nothing changing all at once. i've always been like this. a doctor telling me i have two cognitive/developmental disabilities isn't an event that magically gave me these disabilities. my brain has always worked like this. the only difference between me now and me a year ago is that i have an official, medical reason for Why now.

that's another thing: coming to terms with the idea of being "developmentally disabled." it's not like i'm suddenly a different person — i have to constantly remind myself that my brain has always been like this. but having a piece of paper confirming that i am legally entitled to special allowances in the workplace or at school because i have not one, but two "disabilities" is absolutely buckwild to me.

it makes me reevaluate my life and my past. how many situations did i make worse because i did not have the capacity or knowledge about how my own brain works to self-reflect? was i high-functioning in the past because life was simpler? was it because i subconsciously had a better handle on what works for me and what doesn't, and somewhere along the way i lost that? or was it simply because i didn't have the option to be anything other than high-functioning? it's confusing.

i also lost my spot at college. i can still reapply next year if i want, but at least now i know why i was failing out lmao

anyway, by my birthday in september we started the process of adjusting my medication again. upping my zoloft, getting me off remeron, and as of 6 weeks ago or so, beginning ritalin.

it was a rocky start, but i'm up to 60mg now. two pills in the morning, one in the afternoon. i have a goddamn alarm for 8am every day, even weekends. my sleeping is still wonky, but at least im genuinely tired by 8pm every night. the psychiatrist still wants me to try melatonin for a month (even though i told her multiple times it has never worked for me, and my problem has never been "i'm not sleepy enough"), so i'm on a whopping 2mg of melatonin for the next 30 days. norwegians are fucking WEIRD about melatonin, don't even get me started.

a slightly unexpected side-effect (on my end) of these medication changes: remeron made me gain weight. like, a lot of weight. and i was constantly hungry all the time, overeating to ridiculous amounts. why did nobody ever tell me that weight gain and metabolism changes are a side-effect of anti-depressants? i was more active this summer than i'd been in, like, three years and i just got fatter. which was incomvenient because i kept outgrowing my clothes. anyway, a side effect of ritalin is a loss of appetite and general weight loss. the combination of regularly taking ritalin and dropping remeron entirely? i eat a fraction of what i used to before, i've almost entirely stopped snacking, and i've lost 15 lbs in less than a month. i've already noticed my face is slightly slimmer now. maybe by christmas i'll be able to fit into my old tshirts again.

anyway, my psychologist quit, so i have a new one now. i've only seen her a few times, but she's veeeery different from my old one. i can't decide if i like her or not.

in the middle of all this, i've been going to the social security office as well to kind of get some of my own money, possibly help me get a job at some point in the future. my caseworker is super nice. if she's over 30 i'd be shocked. i relate to her really well, she's very helpful and understanding, and she's very patient with me and my bullshit. she's the kind of person where if we met at a party or something we could probably hang out.

anyway, she's helped me get out of the house sometimes. she introduced me to this youth club volunteer group thing called the fountain house, designed for young people who've dealt with or are currently dealing with mental illnesses and such. i hung out there yesterday and the day before and did some basic office work. it's nice. and then there's a work placement place that can either give you a job on site in one of their four departments, or help you get a job at an actual business elsewhere with more support and leniency than you might get if they just hired you off the street. i'd start in their second hand store. they clean and restore all donations they recieve, and they're super fucking cheap. i treated myself to my literal lifelong dream of owning a vintage typewriter (!!!!!) yesterday, because it's almost christmas and goddammit, i've been doing so much shit the past couple of months i deserve it. do i have space for it? not really. do i have a plan on what to use it for? no. was it heavy and miserable trekking through the snow and rain yesterday back and forth? was it worth the backache in the morning? fuck yeah it was.

a fucking lot of things are happening all at once. diagnoses, medications, lifestyle changes, work placement, social clubs, dealing with bureaucracies on all sides just so i can feel like a person again, not to mention juggling hobbies like writing and drawing and maintaining my irl friendships. i'm getting as many balls rolling as i can while i have the opportunity and mental/emotional capacity to, but i'm worried i'll burn out again. i'm stabilizing and slowly building my life back up, but jesus christ it would suck if this stupid house of cards collapsed again. but i'm tentatively optimistic. who knows, maybe it's not to late to course-correct my mistakes.

so long story short, that's why i've barely been active on tumblr for months. that's why i haven't been writing, drawing, or reading fic. it's coming along, but it's slow.

i guess the most important thing is that it's coming along at all.

[hitchell-mope]

(Third film. After “who we are”. Part two)

(Jay’s about to leave with Matty but Carlos pulls him aside)

Carlos: good morning

Jay (smirking): good morning

(They almost kiss but Matty distracts them)

Matty (disgusted): BLEAURGH

Ben (sensing trouble): do we have a problem here?

Matty: they’re both so old

Carlos (offended): I’m only eight years older then you, you little twerp

Matty: Still

Mal: you know what! Doug. Doug can take you to your room. Could you please take him to his room Doug ol buddy ol pal of mine. Please?

Doug (thoroughly enjoying the verbal sparring match): sure. I have experience dealing with monetarily obsessed children. C’mon kid

(They leave. Ben turns to Mal)

Ben: that. was

Mal: exhausting

Ben: but worth it

Mal: ahem if you say so.

Ben: hey bud. The elderly need to have a talk. Do you mind taking an early lunch?

Carlos (knowing full well what Ben is planning on doing): So jay, is the brunch table still open

Jay: why yes. Yes it is

(The disappear in a puff of gold smoke)

Ben (offering Mal his hand): c’mon. I wanna show you something

Mal (taking his hand, intrigued): oh really

(Elsewhere)

Celia: So this is gonna be our room?

Dizzy: for tonight. Tomorrow we’ll be at mom and dads starter castle.

Celia: for how long?

Evie: the entire summer. But, but, if you prefer. Tiana and Naveen or mama Odie have rooms ready at their homes.

Celia: hmmmmm. How long is this summer?

Evie: ...twelve weeks. Three months

Celia: you’ll do. For now

(She smiles mischievously. Dizzy crows with delight and immediately starts showing her the amenities Auradon has to offer)

Celia: Dizz, Dizzy, Dizzy. It’s ok. I think I’m gonna like it here.

(This is when “I think I’m gonna like it here” happens. At the end of which Celia bumps into a pink clad figure)

Celia: hey watch it

Audrey: I am so sorry I heard you guys

Evie: eavesdropping? I thought you’d learned your lesson by now

Audrey (face set in a kind smile but scared stiff): the halls are echoey

Evie: sure(.) Celia, this is the kings ex girlfriend

Celia: you’re that bitch that insulted Evie when she first came here

Audrey (looking terrified): mhmm

Celia: So what do you do now you’re not gonna be queen anymore

Audrey: I am in summer school because I took an impromptu spa vacation last semester during term time

Celia: why?

Dizzy: Maleficent tried to kill her at the coronation

Celia: oh yeah. I watched that. So sad you lived

(Audrey looks at Evie silently asking for a defence. Evie smiles evily)

Evie: it was oh so very sad.

Audrey: m-moving ahem on. I am princess Audrey of Auroria. And I will be your dorm advisor next school year.

Celia: is that supposed to mean anything to me

Evie: basically she’s just your glorified unpaid babysitter. Who can’t control anything you do. But you are at liberty to annoy her. There’s nothing to petty to go to her with

Audrey: well I need to sleep but

Evie: Abigail Sweet never slept when we needed her for something

(Audrey looks like she’s trying to swallow a brick)

Celia: puce is a good colour on you

Audrey (running her fingers through her hair): it’s a really dark magenta actually

Celia: wavy talking about the hair

(In the distance two voices shriek then laugh)

Evie: So the twins have seen the statue then

Audrey: here is the menu for today’s dinner

Celia: ah man. No rabbit pie.

Evie: the bolognese is just tonight’s recommendation. There’s a full buffet. And if you can’t find what you want. You can always use magic to create it.

Celia: I really like it here

(At the brunch table)

Carlos: morning gran

Jay: you have two more grandsons

Belle: hello dears. And yes Gil told me about the twins. Where are they?

Jaylos: fencing arena

Belle: aw that’s nice. Gil and Lonnie spend so much time there. It’s good to keep healthy. Unlike me.

Carlos: uh gran? It’s 11 o’clock in the morning. And you don’t smoke

Belle: I am, how do say it? Oh yes. Psyching myself up.

Jay: it’s finally happening then?

Belle: yes

Carlos: bout time if you ask me.

Belle: where is Ben. I’d like to say goodbye before I leave

Carlos: where they first met

Belle (smiling knowingly): do please tell him where I’ve gone.

Jay: of course. Want me to teleport you to the court house?

Belle: no thank you dear. I’m taking a car. Gives me time to think.

Jay: I can drive.

Belle: thank you for offering. But they’ll want to see you after if it works.

Carlos: and if it doesn’t work. She might not be ready remember

Belle: then they’ll both need you.

Elsa: queen mother. The cars here.

Belle: thank you Elsa. Are you?

Elsa: no. My daughter is expecting me

Belle: word of advice. Never marry a man who lies about resurrecting a man who attacked the both of you back from the dead.

Elsa: wasn’t planning to.

(Belle leaves)

Elsa: now boys. I see chocolate croissants and salmon bagels that are yet to be eaten. I declare a competition. Who ever finishes this food first will get the royal Arendelle chocolate fountain for the summer. I’ll referee. Sound good?

Jay: Hell yeah.

(Back in the courtyard. Ben’s used his magic to create a eatery area with a full buffet table. And a projector and film reel)

Ben: So this is a

Mal: butter bar

Ben: a butter bar? Um

Mal: context?

Ben: yes please

Mal: I was bored. And hungry. You were in a budget meeting. And Evie was annoying me. So I got a stick of butter, dipped it in cinnamon, dipped it in chocolate, deep fried in churro batter, and put peanut sprinkles on top. Magic keeps everything from melting.

Ben: that sounds absolutely disgusting. And I must try it

Mal: go ahead

Ben: I might be a decent cook, but you’re a confectionery genius

Mal: why thank you. How did our niece get on with her first transfer session?

Ben: she was great. Everyone was so great. Except

Mal: yeah?

Ben: Celia asked why you weren’t there.

Mal: ah. What did you guys say?

Ben: Carlos took care of it.

Mal: he didn’t mention my therapy did he?

Ben: no. No he didn’t

Mal: oh thank goodness. Don’t worry. I’m not, ashamed, of getting help. But it’s just that

Ben: when people you’ve not seen for a while are prone to judgement it can be a little difficult to admit your foibles

Mal: yeah. So anyway all this is very very nice. But why. Oh boy. It’s not your birthday is it?

Ben: that was two months ago. You took me to dinner at Tony’s?

Mal: right. A Thursday. It’s not my birthday is it?

Ben: you’re a month older then me

Mal: I might need to change Friday night drinks from beer to orange juice

Ben: ahhh you’re fine.

Mal: well I am half human. Not exactly pure

Ben: neither of us are.

Mal: yeah. Yeah we aren’t. So anyway. What is all this for. You can’t have missed me that much. You were only gone for twelve hours

Ben: I always miss you. But no. This is the exact same spot where we first met. A year and a half ago today.

Mal: this isn’t an anniversary. Is it?

Ben: no

Mal: oh thank god for that. I’m so sorry. That sounded cruel

Ben: that’s ok. I kinda like it when you’re a little cruel.

Mal (cackling): yeah I know. So what is that for

(She points to the film projector)

Ben: ah yes! I learned a new spell

Mal: oh yeah?

Ben: memory and dream extraction.

Mal (intrigued): continue

Ben: my dreams. And memories. About us

Mal: is that why..? The whole eatery enclosure thing

Ben: mostly because I needed food. But yeah. The occasion provides privacy. Shall I press play.

Mal: go for it. Jesus. Is that what my hair looks like from the back? And who’s speaking?

Ben: you’re hair always looks nice. And that’s me. My inner monologue

Mal: ah. And do you still have that suit?

Ben: not anymore no. I don’t think it would fit.

Mal (chuckling fondly): do you ever miss your old hair?

Ben: I’ve got purple roots because of my magic. It makes me closer to you. Why would I miss my old hair.

Mal: you’re sweet. Ah fuck.

Ben: yeah my technique is rather crude. But we got together in the end

Mal: yes. Yes we did. I tried to avoid you for so long. Because I believed you deserved better then a villain

Ben: well I’ve always been somewhat attracted to the darkness and badassery

Mal: oh the badassery is all jay. The darkness is all me. But I’m working on it. Still remember our little conversations back then

Ben: of course

(He uses magic to activate a nearby stereo. Mal shrieks in delight. This is when “as lovers go” starts. After the song)

Mal: oh my god. Omigod omigod omigod

Ben: I love you. Would you like to be my queen

(Mal tackles him in a bear, or dragon, hug)

Mal: yes. Yes yes yes. To be honest I kinda knew you had this planned

Ben: oh really?

Mal: yeah. Evie’s not been able to look at me for a month without crying. Speaking of

(She gets off of and dissolves the faux eatery revealing their friends who’ve been waiting)

Mal: C. You’ve got an official father

Carlos: YEEEEEEEEES

(He bounds up and hugs them both)

Jay (jokingly): you know if you do anything to hurt

Ben: I’m sure my magic will get to me first Jay.

Doug (more warningly but still with a smile): same goes for you Mal

Mal: Roger

(She disentangles herself from the boys)

Mal: hey. Are we filming?

Evie: I think the approved press are still here. Or at least their cameras are.

Mal: Doug buddy. Could you start rolling

Doug: sure

Mal (turning to the camera, takes a deep breath): IM ENGAGED!!!! HAHAHAHA

Evie (aside to Doug): I dunno why but I kinda thought that’d be more regal

Jay and Lonnie: it’s Mal. What did you expect

(Once Doug shuts the camera off)

Audrey: ooh ooh ooh. You can borrow my shoes.

Mal: I have bigger feet then you pal. But thank you for offering.

Chad (running up and pushing between the two friends): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Don’t touch her! You’re not the queen. You’re a fugly hag of a witch. Audrey’s the rightful queen. Soon everyone will see and

(Mal gives Audrey a look, Audrey nods her head, Mal wafts chad away mid sentence in a puff of smoke)

Mal: drunk, stoned or just plain tired?

Audrey: probably all three

(Elsewhere)

Gil: where mama? She should be here

Squeaky: uncle Florrie does this make Mal our auntie now?

Ben: sure does buddy. Moms at the courthouse. It’s the first of June. Dad finally stopped dragging his feet

Gil: ohhh

(End of part two)

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP.7 (Cont.)

“i have not now, nor ever, liked this creepy ass church elevator.”

“kanade please get out of my head, just because im hungry doesnt mean you have to tell me every time i am”

Hibiki finishes getting a full body X-ray. She’s fine.

“that anime protagonist immunity is really kicking in well!”

“by the way, your wife is here! and she’s looking mighty miffed., as opposed to me, mighty milfed.”

“you dont strike me as a mother figure but ill play along for now”

“i just hope miku’s okay...”

“oh, she’ll be fine! see, i’ve seen these kinds of plots before. big secret revealed, another lover is shown, the victim watches as they’re thoroughly cheated on, and they get to lik-”

“please stop breathing”

Genjuro’s wasting away again in Margaritaville. Looking for some daughter to adopt. SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT THERE’S A, WOOOOMAAAAAN TO BLAAAAAAAAAAME, BUT HE KNOWS

XYLOPHONE RIFF

THAT’S IT’S ALL HIS FAULT

XYLOPHONE RIFF

“i hate it when he gets like this. jimmy buffets not a good look for him.”

“for once you and i agree. seeing the commander sulk like this like a middle aged perma-tourist is genuinely miserable”

“hey homies! im back and i brought some bitches! oh, jesus, why does this place smell like mistakes in miami?”

“its me. im sorry. every time i feel like i failed as a dad, my anti-dad energies manifest. imagine every midlife crisis rolled up into a single ball, smacked into the face for eternity. thats the depth of my pain for failing this girl.”

In a moment of positivity, the friendship between Tsubasa and Hibiki is cemented.

> Tsubasa has joined the party.

“FRIENDSHIP!”

“fweindship.”

“uuuuhhhhh... dadship? yeah thats close enough.”

“WE’RE ALL GOOD FRIENDS!”

“ya tiddies are ringing again, better go get it”

Ryoko also points out that Hibiki’s relic is fusing with herself at an alarming rate. This is important to keep in mind.

Meanwhile, at night.

Miku is posing in the motherly “you done fucked up, where have you been young lady” position. A cold scolding is coming.

“.........................hey miku......”

“you can come in. are you worried im gonna bite? you suplexed a car. that shouldn’t be an issue anymore.”

“miku, i.... i wanted to tell you.... but.... the plot wouldn’t let me, miku....”

“should’ve told the plot to fuck off anyway. now you’re gonna live with that. you’re sleeping... on the bottom bunk.”

“b.... b..... b...... b.... b...... bottom bunk...?”

They slept separately that night. God, this is so stupid. All of this is so goddamned stupid. “I’m so mad at you even though you saved my life.” This is just so. AUGH. THIS IS DUMB. KANEKO WRITE BETTER ANGST THAT MAKES SENSE THAT ISN’T THIS.

Meanwhile, far away from this garbage...

Chris, having been evicted from Fine’s McMansion, wanders the streets of mumblemumble aimlessly. Don’t be fooled by her new fancy dress. Basically, she’s a combat-competent hobo.

“no food. no home. no victories. this sucks. whyd you do it, fine? we coulda been great together. but no. ya fired me. now i look like im prancing the red light district with a highly advanced superweapon around my neck.”

“no... hibiki’s to blame. ever since that genderbent little mac showed up to fight me, it’s been all downhill. fine thought me a laughstock because i couldnt take out her oversized boxing gloves, and now she beat me while i had nehushtan. god... i wish i never met that damn hamster faced chubby cheeked nerd.”

“wait, whats that crying”

Chris spies two kids talking to each other, one of them crying. Chris immediately makes an assumption, believing the big bro is bullying his sis.

“hey! stop nicking her lunch money, twerp”

Chris currently is a firm believer of corporeal punishment.

But the sister deflects the blow. Chris can’t even defeat children right now. Truly, this is a record low for her. You know you blew it when even kids are schooling you on basic morality. She then tells the little girl to stop crying, ironically mirroring her brother.

The infamous double T-Pose maneuver. Chris, you might as well get a shovel and start digging your own grave.

“i keep doing bad things badly, and now im doing good things badly... when fine said i was bad... did she just mean im not talented?”

Chris, finally, does a good thing and helps these kids find their parents.

“yeah. hibiki saved a kid when she got her gear. guess what? bam! im saving two! that’s fifty percent more kid per kid saved. take that, weirdo.”

The kids call her out on Chris singing unconsciously, and Chris gets flustered over it. Dawwwwww.

Chris manages to get them to safety to their Dad...

...while brutally lying about it, making Chris look like a predator. There’s a very crushing irony at play here, given who Chris used to serve.

“ugggggggggggggggghhhhhh hes not even gonna payyyyy meeeeeee why the fuck did i dooooo thiiiiiiissssss”

“hey, you know. you kids have a really nice relationship with one another. care to give me tips on how to be an empathetic human being capable of making friends?”

“maybe we’re born with it”

“maybe its maybeline”

“maybeline...”

Meanwhile...

A cold wind blows through Lydian Apartment 69-L. (I don’t actually know if that’s their room number, I just made it up.)

“jesus take the wheel, because i’m jumping out the passenger seat to save this current wreck of a relationship”

“miku please i saved your life, doesnt that count for anything”

“you already killed me the moment you lied. also im taking the bottom bunk so i dont have to see your face coming down the ladder.”

“miku you cant hide in this depression den forever. i know i hurt you and im sorry for it, but please understand i literally couldnt do it. you saw there were punches and violence and stuff... i didnt want you tied to that...”

“what was that? i cant hear your apologies over my incredibly loud snoring. SNOOOOOOORE. SNOOOOOOOORE. SNOOO- fuck, i just swallowed my spit, fuck”

“i hope this cocoon of displeasure you’ve made for yourself lets you erupt into a butterfly of acceptance so i can fly with you again.”

“......thats not fair. you cant say those beautiful metaphors and get away with it. let me be mad... sniff... let me be mad...”

Sadness wafts in the den of lies Hibiki has been forced into.

No music plays. There is only heartbreak, and woe.

In the midst of this pain...

Ryoko loredumps about how the Symphogears work and are immune to the noise on her blog, ‘hornyonmainforscience.org’, her hybrid science journal slash kink zone. It’s mostly a recap with some pretty good soft techno beats in it.

“i made a custom brew of red bull, five hour energy drink, coffee, and cream. i call it gamer girl piss.”

“damn. that’s some good piss.”

She muses about how Hibiki has managed to break the limitations of her Symphogear, making her a totally unique specimen. Wait, where have we heard this before...?

Hey... Ryoko... let’s just... cool it a bit with the Hibiki pictures... come on...

Ryoko touches upon the Custodians and the Curse of Babel. We ain’t touching that shit until later, because that’s another shitfuck box of crazy just ready to jump us in a dark alleyway to rob us of our wits.

Back to Lydian:

“miku whats the answer to the first three multiple choice questions”

“B. A. D.”

“oh, thanks. huh, BAD.”

“yeah. you are.”

“mmm. taste likes dissapointment. just like my life.”

“hey table for two haha get it cause there’s two chairs and miku for the love of god, please, forgive me”

“ive surgically removed my eyes and drew eyelashes over them with sharpie so i dont have to see your bird bangs.”

“thats very rude to both me and my hair. also, wig.”

Even Hibiki’s meal is judging her. Mainly for not eating it. Fucking look at this. God, that looks amazing. Fuck, why did I write this while I was hungry.

“miku you cant do this forever. i might die and youll end up crying on my tombstone going ‘oh god, why, oh god’, and really, i cant live with myself if that happens. mainly because id already be dead by then”

The Anime Janai crew show up to break some icebergs with a goddamn sledgehammer. As the self-aware Gods of this realm, they got very tired of this poor display of angst, and have decided to directly intervene.

Nevermind. They came for her kneecaps, and they most certainly got them.

PLEASE. I’M BEGGING YOU. END THIS GARBAGE PLOT THREAD.

“look. imma lay down the facts. yall are gay. yall are in love. yall are angry for the wrong reasons. its nobody’s fault here but the writer. so please kiss and make up. pretty please.”

“kaneko... you fool... we all know what the original sin is. its your hack writing making this stupidity in the first place. let the pencil go, asshole!”

They bring up the fact that Hibiki isn’t doing her work and wonder if she has a job on the side, which isn’t allowed by the school. Miku gets annoyed and bails, with Hibiki running after her. Unfortunately, Miku runs faster...

“oh god miku not the rooftop whatever you’re thinking just dont do it! please!”

“no. i came here to angst, since this is the Maximum Angst Zone.”

“i..... okay! okay, that’s fair! rooftops are the perfect place to look sad while getting proper air ventilation, thats fine”

It really would have been better played if it was played off that she felt hurt not because of the lie, but because she felt like she could have helped her better having known the truth, and it being a self-loathing sort of scenario for not being there better for her and not fully understanding the risk at play.

But no, instead, we get this.

Absolutely obliterated. A heart ripped, shredded, and sent to the Shadow Realm.

The episode ends on that note, but has a post credit scene.

Naked. On an old timey telephone. On a computer. Wearing stockings and long gloves.

The main antagonist of the series, everybody.

She’s talking the best English possible to some random-ass American when suddenly bursting through the scene is none other than:

“I WANT WORKERS COMPENSATION YOU BITCH, BEFORE I UNIONIZE YOUR NAKED ASS”

“AND I WANT A GOOD REFERNECE FOR MY FUTURE EMPLOYER, AND ALSO A SEVERANCE PACKAGE SINCE I’M FUCKING HOMELESS”

“i paint my eyelashes with mascara made from the tar of freshly carbonated corpses manufactured through noise, what on gods green earth compels you to think id give a rats ass about you?”

“so you never cared, huh! you’re just a nasty naked hedonist trying to- trying to- what the fuck are you even trying to do?!”

“i want to live the dream every spicy little fossil like me yearns for.”

“I WANNA FUCK GOD!”

“how- what? what? how do you even- what? are you- do you want to be the pope? is that it? does the pope get to fuck god? are you- is this a larping thing? you’ve really been into larping lately! i don’t like this!”

“youve never read the old testament, have you. ass out, pussy bare, hips up and barefoot. that’s how god’s always liked it.”

“now get lost, punk. you tipped off my hand to genjuro and now you being here is going to ruin everything. if you still feel any semblance of devotion, eat one of your own bullets and call it a day.”

“it’s 2012 bitch, if the mayans dont get you, I WILL”

“what god gives, He takes away, and so do i. i built you from the ground up. your relic, which was good for jack shit on you. the nehushtan, which you failed to do anything with except zap a couple hundred people. stop wars? you’re a walking war, waged by me, for me. and your cartridge has just run out of bullets.”

“uh oh! hand’s acting up again! better bail before i send you back to smacktown where all the bitter little shittalkers like you strut around spending their lives being useless as hell.”

“ah fuck, im not dealing with no manos: the hands of fate bullshit again”

“and guess what else i got on motherfucker”

“i see the union efforts have officially been busted. understandable, have a nice day ma’am”

“LEAVE.”

“I’M GOING, I’M GOING”

[1112lw]

Every question!!

SDFFSDFG DAM OK SIS

LONG POST AHEAD IF U LITERALLY WANNA KNOW ME PERSONALLY JUST READ THIS LMFAO

1: Name: Arche/Jupiter, my close friends know my real name so!

2: Age: High school has just been done so try to guess

3: Fears: Heights, oral presentations, the dark

4: 3 things I love: Drawing, men- concept art n stuff like that

5: 4 turns on: Oh here we go- uhh thighs, messy hair? when they give u The Look or when they. say things i will not talk about here HHGBDF n uhhh Arms 👀👀

6: 4 turns off: weird macho attitude, overly confident bullshit, being selfish and fuckboys in general

7: My best friend: not sure what this means but my bff is named Daphnée n i love her and ive known her my whole life so 

8: Sexual orientation: homosexuale

9: My best first date: :))))))) as if

10: How tall am I: sigh. I’m 5″4

11: What do I miss: sometimes i miss the feeling loved ig

12: What time were I born: 12:19

13: Favourite color: pink!

14: Do I have a crush

15: Favourite quote: My senior quote!! “if what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, I’m telling you I’m immortal”

16: Favourite place: well? my room ig? I like my yard too

17: Favourite food: ugh ramen,,,korean dishes are TASTE as fuck but i also like classic ass spaghetti so like lol

18: Do I use sarcasm: does it look like i dont

19: What am I listening to right now: dr.phil LMFAO

20: First thing I notice in new person: Hair and eyes!! also how they laugh

21: Shoe size: Like. a 7-8 in women’s 6 in men’s 

22: Eye color: Hazel/Golden yes bitch let me be special

23: Hair color: it’s either dark brown or golden brown idk

24: Favourite style of clothing: bruv its either kpoppie fuckboy or uwu skirts pastels

25: Ever done a prank call?: no i have anxiety

26: Meaning behind my URL:

27: Favourite movie: rise of the guardians and HTTYD

28: Favourite song: Comeback Home (BTS cover)

29: Favourite band: looks in the camera i dont know nan molla huh

30: How I feel right now: I’m fine im hungry

31: Someone I love: shoutout to my babeys in my server ily

32: My current relationship status: Single(tm)

33: My relationship with my parents: theyre fine ig just a bit tired

34: Favourite holiday:

35: Tattoos and piercing I have: Ear piercings? that’s it

36: Tattoos and piercings I want:

37: The reason I joined Tumblr:

38: Do I and my last ex hate each other? I sure hope not?

39: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? A bit ig?

40: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Literally no

41: When did I last hold hands? Like last Friday

42: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 20 minutes

43: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? no i havent shaved in like months

44: Where am I right now? in my room, in quebec, canada

45: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? bitch i sure hope my friends would

46: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? fuck my ears 

47: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? yeah

48: Am I excited for anything? yeah? yeah

49: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? ig? always

50: How often do I wear a fake smile? just at work tbh

51: When was the last time I hugged someone? not long ago i cant tell but my friends r cuddle monsters so 

52: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? i havent kissed anyone so 

53: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? lemme think uhhh no not rlly im not dumb 

54: What is something I disliked about today? i woke up n i thought i had school lol

55: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? oh john cock i want to be ur best friend

56: What do I think about most? i daydream 24/7

57: What’s my strangest talent? uhhh i can put my thumb behind my hand?

58: Do I have any strange phobias? trypophobia, if thats “weird”

59: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? depends on what the video is, mostly behind

60: What was the last lie I told? idk answering to my deadname

61: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? online

62: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I slightly believe in ghosts? also aliens GOTTA exist so 

63: Do I believe in magic? i think!

64: Do I believe in luck? yeah

65: What’s the weather like right now? very pretty i filmed a video outside!!

66: What was the last book I’ve read? L’Étranger d’Albert Camus in french class

67: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yes my dad’s a mechanic

68: Do I have any nicknames? a lot a lot

69: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? bitch @ my birth #neverforget 

70: Do I spend money or save it? i have 40$ in my name right now

71: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

72: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? yes highlighter

73: Favourite animal? cats or otters

74: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? FBISDFD NO WE DONT TALK ABOUT IT

75: What do I think is Satan’s last name idk he can have any last name he wants!!!

76: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? everytime i start hearing “waiting for you anpanman” or “i just wanna go home” 👀👀

77: How can you win my heart? aaahh. be a twink. b fashionable. b funny. cheesy. pls romance me like a npc in the sims 2

78: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? s(he) died smh

79: What is my favorite word? cunt is SUCH a satisfying word

80: My top 5 blogs on tumblr? oh great uh honestly cant be fucked 

81: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? please have brain. PLEASE

82: Do I have any relatives in jail? i sure hope the fuck not?

83: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? either invisibility or mind reading

84: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? ahaaa “what are your intrusive thoughts”

85: What is my current desktop picture? my lesbian sims getting married LMFAO

86: Had sex? no

87: Bought condoms? no

88: Gotten pregnant? NO

89: Failed a class? i think yeah maths last year

90: Kissed a boy? :(((

91: Kissed a girl? no

92: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no

93: Had job? I have a job rn so 

94: Left the house without my wallet? yeah when i go to school

95: Bullied someone on the internet? define bullying?

96: Had sex in public? virgin squad

97: Played on a sports team? yeah

98: Smoked weed? no ew

99: Did drugs? no ew

100: Smoked cigarettes? NO EW

101: Drank alcohol? yep 

102: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? no i’d die

103: Been overweight? i’m twig

104: Been underweight? i think i was underweight when i was young? i was very Small

105: Been to a wedding? yes very long boring

106: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? bruh. everyday

107: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? probably?

108: Been outside my home country? ONCE

109: Gotten my heart broken? TWICE !

110: Been to a professional sports game? yesss canadians game!!

111: Broken a bone? no

112: Cut myself? not technically 

113: Been to prom? SOON SOON SOON SOSOSNSBFSHDD

114: Been in airplane? once

115: Fly by helicopter? i am not rich bitch

116: What concerts have I been to? noneeee- WAIT NO MARIE MAI

117: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? not sex but for the purpose of pretending i have a penis yes plenty

118: Learned another language? yeah!! i learned english, i almost learned spanish and i’m trynna learn korean now

119: Wore make up? i try!! but i’m not super good

120: Lost my virginity before I was 18? not 18 yet but it’s goin that way

121: Had oral sex? as if 

122: Dyed my hair? i wishhh

123: Voted in a presidential election? I WISH THE ELECTIONS R ONE MONTH B4 MY BIRTHDAY 

124: Rode in an ambulance? nope

125: Had a surgery? yes at a week old 

126: Met someone famous? i think yes but i was super small

127: Stalked someone on a social network? define stalked?

128: Peed outside? yes

129: Been fishing? YES

130: Helped with charity? i think? we do volunteering so 

131: Been rejected by a crush? not directly

132: Broken a mirror? no 

133: What do I want for birthday? boyf......boy..boyff

134: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? oh man uhh maybe 2-3, i dont know their names yet honestly

135: Was I named after anyone? MY DAD NAMED ME AFTER A FUCKIN CLIENT HE MET. as for my actual name now I named myself after my fav video game character. lit

136: Do I like my handwriting? yeah!!

137: What was my favourite toy as a child? bitch hot wheels

138: Favourite Tv Show? hells kitchen,,,,judge judy,,,anythin like that

139: Where do I want to live when older? honestly i wish i could just live in japan or tokyo, or new york? but i will most likely end up in montreal 

140: Play any musical instrument? i used to play the clarinet last year!!

141: One of my scars, how did I get it? the one on my knee, i scratched my desk with my knee 

142: Favourite pizza toping? my dad makes AMAZING sea food pizzas,,,

143: Am I afraid of the dark? a lot

144: Am I afraid of heights? A LOT

145: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? idk prolly? im a bit of a goody two shoes or however u spell it

146: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end: dont we all

147: What I’m really bad at: organizing my anxiety n shit i get overwhelmed

148: What my greatest achievments are: finishing high school 

149: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: honestly has to be that time someone dug up my vent post about being dysphoric to try to say i hated myself with some dumbass DySphorIa Is SelF HaTRed argument

150: What I’d do if I won in a lottery: pay my parents’ debt off, buy 284223$ of BT21 merch, pay my whole college/uni and transition

151: What do I like about myself: idk i like how i literally do not give a fuck anymore and ive learned to love myself instead of trynna care

152: My closest Tumblr friend: @peptobismol-official​ @ace-landofthesun​ @dorkalisious​ and ana but idk her @ anymore :((( ana pls

153: Something I fantasise about: we dont talk about that

154: Any thoughts on the paranormal?: lit. please stop crawling in my ceiling !

ok now that u know my whole biography. go doxx me ig. bye bye

[jackandmarksavedme88]

Dark Lemonade

@ashphoenix06 @honestlyitsjustkennaswriting @emma-wrote @goldenoceanarps @weirdmixofweirdness

TW: Some violence, also gets a liiiiittle dirty(but the super nsfw parts have been cut out for tumblr sake 😂😂)

Mark.....are we ever going to stop driving?"

"Well. You said isolated. His place is as isolated as i could think of"

Alison studied Mark as he drove, glancing behind them where Amy was driving Alison's car every so often

"And youre sure Dark isnt going to be too...put out?"

Mark chuckled 'That asshole is always put out. Part of his charm you could say"

As he drove he thought of the conversation hed had with the ego the week before

******

"Why here Mark? Why does she need to stay here? I dont even know her"

Mark looked at Darkiplier as his aura slightly crackled around him

"I told you. Her ex has been stalking her, she needs somewhere to stay while her dad is off the ranch. She doesnt need to be alone on that huge place. Amy and i are going out of town. Now get over it. Shes staying"

"So get the police to babysit her. Why should *I* have to" the ego scowled, clearly not giving a shit what would happen to this girl

"Look Dark im not having anything happen to her because you want to be a pretentious ass. Its not like you use all of the five rooms here."

"You and Amy talk as if shes your child. Shes a grown woman"

"Yes. And her ex is an even bigger grown man that is unhinged and wants to do very bad things to her. Shes staying here."

Darkiier glared as his creator, his aura lashing tendrils out every so often as his temper rose. But he knew there was no arguing.

"Fine. But she better stay out of my way"

*********

Mark pulled to a stop in front of the big house in the woods. Alison gaped at the sight of the beautifully crafted home and the big lake behind it

"Holy. Shit.'

Mark laughed out loud "yeah. Good taste huh?"

Alison climbed out of the car and stretched her arms out, her shirt falling off her shoulder a bit, revealing a faded scar. She grabbed what she had in Mark's car and joined him and Amy to walked up the front steps and inside

"Hello?"

"Well come in, dont just stand there" Dark said.

He watched Mark and Amy come in as he walked down the stairs and stopped as Alison stepped through the door

He took her in. Reddish brown hair, green eyes, short, not skinny but not what hed call fat. She looked around nervously and then locked eyes with her host for the next couple of weeks.

"Um...hi. Im Alison Calaway" she reached out a hand to shake his as he reached the bottom of the steps. "Its nice to meet you Dark...thank you for letting me be here"

Dark took her hand and felt almost a buzz, aside from his own aura, go through him

"Yes. Mark has told me about you. Glad i could...assist"

Amy looked at her watch "oh. We gotta go if we are going to get to bed and get on the road in the morning.... Alison are you sure youre ok?" She wasnt too sure about leaving her here with HIM all that time

"Amy Ill be fine. Yall go"

She hugged and kissed both Mark and Amy on the cheeks and watched as they climbed in Marks car and drove away.

"So...are you hungry?" Alison jumped as Dark spoke closer to her ear than she thought hed be

"Oh. Um. No. Actually. Im good. I could go for some hot tea though.

"Ah. Perfect. Come with me to the kitchen"

The ego led the way as she tried to figure out this vibe she was getting. Like he reallllly didnt want her there, but was also curious about her.... He was pretty easy on the eyes though so she figured she'd survive

She sat down at the bar as he boiled the water

"So. When you said Mark talked about me....how much did he tell you?" Alison inquired, not sure what to say

"He told me of the ex-boyfriend and why you needed somewhere to stay..... May i ask how it got to that point? If thats not too forward?"

He turned to see her absentmindedly running her fingers over a scar along her collar bone

"Well.. I was with him two years. He didnt like me having friends other than him. Didnt like when i went on the road with my Dad's company and wrestled house shows.."

Darkiplier looked at her "wait...wrestling ?"

Alison ducked her head and laughed

"heh...yeah.... Long story. Dad is practically royalty in the business and i did it for a while. ..but Shane didnt like that. Mostly because i hung out with the guys and trained with them.... So for the sake of the relationship i stayed home. Then he got to where he hated me talking to Mark, Jack...Anyone really. Long story short he attacked me a few times....the last time he almost killed me..... Chase and Jackie saved my life. They had been on the way over to get me and heard me scream. Broke in..... I had to get a lot of stitches that night. And he didnt like being told no. He took off while they were helping me. Cops have been looking for him, hes been sending me letters, showing up at places where im at. But he always takes off when i see him..... Hes gotten bolder and my parents and Mark and everyone didnt want me left alone. So here i am"

Dark studied her for a moment. He could read that she had strength. But she was broken. He couldn't understand why but he felt a tug of protectiveness in his chest at the thought of that asshole trying to track her here... At least those idiotic Septic Egos had done something right. Though letting him get away was pathetic

"Well. Dont worry. If he tries to darken my doorstep, he will surely get more than he bargined for i can assure you"

He brought two mugs over and poured the water over the tea bags. They sat and talked for hours like theyd known each other forever

****************

The next night Alison laid in her bed. It was about 12 am. Shed walked by the lake all morning, theyd gone into town and grabbed lunch and when they came home she had talked with Dark about different interests most of the night. She felt oddly at home here. Suddenly her phone rings

"Now who the hell would be calling me?.."

She hit the answer button, not recognizing the number

"Hello?"

"Aliiisoon.... Now why would you go walking around with some goth reject looking...thing where everyone could see?"

She sat bolt upright in bed, all blood draining from her face... Shane

"What the hell....how did you...?"

"Now now alleycat dont worry about how. You know you're mine. Ill always find you. Now answer me"

"Theres nothing to fucking answer Shane. Leave me alone." She scrambled out of bed and down the stairs, checking the locks.

"Ohhh alison. You cant actually think im going to leave you alone. I marked you. Youre mine... Nice house youre in though. Lots of property

She stood in the glow of the moon through the front window, shaking "shane. What do you want. Why are you doing this?"

"Because. I want whats mine"

"Im not yours! I never will be, leave me al-"

The phone was snatched from her hand. Darks aura crackling and whipping around them both, scaring her and amazing her at the same time.

"Look. Either turn yourself in or go die. Your choice..... In fact i will gladly help with one of those options. But you will leave her be Shane"

And with that he threw the phone down and crushed it

She turned and stared at him, in awe of the power oozing from him, shaking from adrenaline.

The aura calmed some as he stepped toward her and ran a finger over her collarbone and shoulders. Tracing the scars that were exposed by the sleeveless sleep shirt she wore. He looked in her eyes brimming with tears and had the sudden urge to hug her and an even stronger NEED to protect her...so he pulled her in. She buried her face in his chest and cried. Feeling helpless and grateful at the same time. The tendrils ran over her back as he held the back of her head with one hand and wrapped the other arm around her.

Finally she stepped back. Wiping her face. "Dark....im sorry. You must think im a completely useless creature... Im just so tired of being his prey"

He studied her face for a moment, then spoke, his voice low, commanding attention as he did

"Youre not his prey anymore. And while i think many of those around me are useless....youre different. And damned if i know why.."

Alison looked at him, curious, but not pushing the matter.

"I dont think ill sleep much." She was mad and scared and exhausted. But she knew what her dreams would hold

Dark put his hand on her shoulder "Well. Im just doing some paper work in my office, i could....put a pillow and blankets on the couch in there for you. You could rest while i work...perhaps that way youd feel more at ease"

Alison smiled at him, grateful for his kindness. "Ok. Yeah, maybe....if i wont be bothering you of course"

He chuckled softly "not at all dear. Come"

****

Alison watched him work thru half shut eyes. This was the big bad guy everyone spoke of...to her he didnt seem so bad. Intense for sure but....there was just something about him. The quiet way he held himself, he could walk in any room and demand attention without even trying.

"You know. Its not polite to stare at people while they work ali"

She smiled sleepily "sorry. Just thinking"

The ego cocked an eyebrow. "About?"

"Well.." She sat up from her makeshift bed hed made, one strap falling off her shoulder, exposing more of her skin, Dark suddenly felt tense, but tried to ignore it

"I mean. You're supposed to be.. Horrible. A bad guy....and yet.... I feel as if we are old friends having only known you a few days ... I trust you. Though everyone has said not to.... Im supposed to be scared of you and thats just not the case" she said

He smiled gently "Well. When you're on my good side, thats what you get. But most never see that side, only a lucky few

'And why am i one of the lucky ones? " Alison asked

Dark motioned for her to come to him 'Come here....." She got up and stepped across the room, sitting on the corner of his desk as he stood up.

"If im being honest i have no idea why i feel the way i do around you. You seem to make everything....quiet. Calm. I can think clearly for some reason.... I cant quite figure you out Alison"

He was standing directly in front of her now.

She smiled up at him "heh. Good luck with that"

The blackness grew slightly and played around the edge of her face as he stared directly into her eyes "oh don't worry princess. Ill figure you out. I always get what i want"

Alison threw her head back and laughed "hmm. With me you wont.....but like i said. Have fun with that" she went to stand and he blocked her, moving very close to her. "I rather like the effect you have...stay a moment longer?"

He rested his hand on her knee and closed his eyes. Reveling in the slience that filled him. She didnt know what to say...but staring at him with his head leaned back, hair in his face she couldn't help but feel the calm as well. She reached up and brushed the har from his eyes, fingers trailing his cheek. His hand caught hers and held it to his face as he leaned into it.

Alisons heart sped up. Dark could hear it as her cheeks flushed an adorable red. He looked at her intently suddenly not in control of his actions he put his hand to her face and pulled her to him, softly bringing their lips together

She was suprised by his actions. But more suprised at the fact that she trusted him. She leaned into the kiss, grabbed the front of his jacket .

They both were startled by the crash in the front hall. Alison jumped off the desk and took off out the door before he could stop her. Dark shook his head

"That stupid girl...."

But then he heard her yelp.... His aura crackled to life as he rushed out to the front door which was wide open. The window next to it was smashed. Alison was nowhere to be seen

"Ali?? Where the hell are you?" He shouted angrily.

He heard scuffling outside. Curses came flying out of alisons mouth. The Egos eyes darkened as he ran outside and saw her on the ground under her attacker, fighting like a wildcat. He stomped down the steps and across the grass quickly, grabbing him by the back of the neck and neatly tossing him into the side of her car.

He helped Alison up and studied her quickly. Busted lip, scratches on her arms... His anger boiled over and the dark aura he carried around seemed to grow even blacker. In short. He was pissed.

"You stupid asshole. You think you can have her?" The voice came from behind him. Dark turned and stared down Shane.

"You cant. Shes mine and she will always be mine. I dont care what you or any of your other ego friends have to say. Spandex boy and Brody couldn't stop me...what makes you think...

He trailed off as he became accutely aware of the silence that enveloped him. The anger rolling off the Ego in the form of his aura suddenly making him regret coming here

Dark spun on him, grabbing his neck and shoving him against the car. His voice came out as more of a growl

"You listen to me you insignificant toad. I dont know who the HELL you think you are, or what you *think* youre going to accomplish. But taking "ownership" of Alison Calaway isnt it. People say im a bad person. Theyve never seen me be protective of someone, so trust me when i tell you the truth can be SO much worse than youve heard. I will give you a choice. You may turn around and walk out of here, never contacting or even THINKING of that woman again. Or...

He tightened his grip on Shanes throat cutting off his air as the mans bladder let go

"Or my dear boy. I can show you what demonic really means.... Its your choice"

Shane struggled to speak 'o-okay' he whispered

"What's that? I cant hear you" Dark said. Enjoying the terror in the mans eyes

"Okay! Ill go. Ill go. Just please...dont kill me"

Dark dropped him to the ground, the black aura rolling around him, trying to contain himself. Shane scrambled to get to his car

"Ah ah" Dark said. The choice was to WALK away"

He held the keys hes taken from Shanes pocket up, jingling them and smiled evily.

"Th-thats at least ten miles through the woods! Are you insane??"

Darks eyes narrowed "guess you better get started....and hope the wolves arent especially hungry tonight.. Leave"

His aura shot out, eyes flaring. Shane pissed himself again and took off running into the night

Dark's shoulders heaved up and down as he tried to control his breathing, his body shaking with the anger. Trying to keep himself from chasing the man down and ripping his head from his body

Alison approached from behind and touched his shoulder.

"Alison...im sorry you had to see me like that. I can normally control myself...."

She tugged him to turn around and he looked at her. Blood dried on the corner of her mouth, eyes shining with tears. She placed her hand on the side of his face and he noticed her knuckles were busted from fighting back. He leaned into her touch. Her closeness calming the storm raging in his mind...how had it come to this....when had she become his safe place?

Alison tried to control her emotions...she should be terrified right now, especially after that display. But all she wanted was to hold this man. And she didnt understand. She slid one hand behind his neck and pulled his face to hers. Kissing him was less of a want and more of a gnawing need right now. He was suprised but wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back. Savoring the taste of her mouth

Alison pulled back slightly, out of breath and Dark leaned his forehead to hers, closed his eyes and smiled. Neither spoke. After a moment she pulled away completely and tugged on his hand

"Cmon. Let's go inside"

They walked into the house. Not knowing what to say to each other.

A week passed. Neither spoke about that night. Not avoiding each other but avoiding the subject. Which annoyed Darkiplier greatly. When had he become..this? Not confronting something? He longed to reach out and brush the hair from her face, touch her some way. But he got the feeling she didnt want to be touched right now.

'Well why would she you fool. After everything that jackass did, did you think shed just fall in your arms and stay there?' He said aloud to himself as he toiled in his office.

His phone buzzed with a text. He checked it to see a message from Alison. After breaking her phone hed taken her to get a new one with a new number that very few people now had.

A: "Hey... You wanna go get some drinks tonight? Im getting tired of being couped up but i dont exactly want to venture out on my own. I know itd be a bit of a drive but.."

He pondered for a moment. He could easily say no. That there was liquor here...but he knew it wasnt about the drinks for Alison. He could tell she was itching to get out. To move somewhere other than the house or the lake. She was becoming a bit like a caged tiger.

D: "Sure. Why not" ..... He had a feeling he might regret this.

****************

Darkiplier stood at the bottom of the stairs, ready to leave. He sighed. What was taking her?

'Ali. Are you coming or-"

The words are lost in his throat as she starts down the steps. Auburn hair gleaming, wearing a black and red dress that fit in all the right places and short heels.

She caught his eyes as she stepoed onto the floor and laughed "yeah. Lets go" Alison suddenly felt as if she were a piece of steak in the lions den and she didnt know why.

Dark just opened the front door for her without a word and motioned for her to go first. Trying to regain composure.

At the bar, they drank, Alison danced alone. She moved like a woman possessed. Dark just watched her intently, a feeling in his chest he couldn't quite describe. It had been a couple of hours when a man came up behind her, trying to dance too close and touch too much. Dark tensed as he saw her spin around and shove him away, then he walked over, catching the end of the trashy things he was saying to her

"Alison... Lets go"

Darkiplier didnt need to shout. Or ask her twice. She gratefully nodded her head, realxing now that she didnt feel cornered.

The whole way home she was quiet. Dozing, feeling the effects of the whiskey shed been downing all night.

When they arrived at the house she got out and walked in. She was barely through the door when Dark called to her. He stepped through the door behind her as she turned

He stared for a moment, then reached his hand out to touch her face...she flinched. She didnt mean to...it was just the thought if anyone touching her....of making her feel anything was anxiety inducing...but at the same time she wanted Dark's touch

His hand stopped mid air and his eyes darkened... He was... Sad? But angry at the same time

"I see..." He murmered. Then walked past her to his office and shut the door.

Alison stood there. Tears began to run down her face. "What the hell is happening to me" she whispered. She looked toward the office door. Wanting so badly to chase him. But tired of chasing things at the same time.

******

Darkiplier tried to focus on the computer in front of him. Itd been half an hour and hed gotten nothig done. "What the hell is wrong with you? Youre bitching and moaning after this *girl* you barely know. And for what? The feeling she gives you...pathetic" he spoke to himself condescendingly.

"You know. Speaking to yourself is the first sign of madness"

Alisons voice from the doorway made him jump. Not expecting her to be there.

"Can i come in?"

He studied her for a moment. "Yes. Of course, sit"

She walked into the room. Still in her dress but barefoot now. His breath hitched in his throat as she leaned back into the sofa and curled her legs under her,she sat the drink in her hand on the side table. He laughed. Another whiskey?

"Listen. Dark. Thank you for coming over when you did....that guy was..handsy"

He scoffed "Well. Did you think i was going to let him manhandle you? Though im sure you couldve handled it fine if need be. But i have this godforsaken need to protect you. And i still havent figured it out.."

"Dont protect me.... People that protect me get hurt...." She trailed off, thinking of Henrik stitching the cut in Chase's side after he fought with Shane that night. "Im not worth good people getting hurt"

Dark stood up and walked over to stand in front of her, then crouched so he was eye level. "Look. I told you. I think a lot of people are useless, but you arent one of them. You have this passion in you when you speak about people and things you care for. You want so badly to fight everything and feel nothing....and thats not possible. Trust me. Before you waltzed into this house i wouldnt have believed it. I was an asshole to anyone that looked at me sideways. I didnt need anything or anyone.... And then here are. Making me feel things. No my dear. Worthless is not something that should be used to describe you"

He placed a hand on her leg as he spoke, electricity running between them. She jumped but didnt flinch away this time. She stared into his eyes, taking in what hed said.

He cleared his throat and stood up "i believe this is where i tell you, im sorry if i scared you that night he came here. Im sorry if kissing you was out of line.." He grabbed her hand and pulled her to stand up "but i just couldnt help it..."

She smiled and then stared at the floor as she spoke 'you werent out of line.....unexpected maybe. But i kissed you the second time. So should i apologize for that?'

Darkiplier chuckled and put a finger under her chin, lifting her gaze to his "No my dear. Never apologize for letting me taste you... Though you may need to apologize for depriving me "

With that he captured her mouth with his. Slowly as first, then more forcefully. Her hands tangled in his hair, him holding her against him. She pulled back to breathe and his lips went to her neck. 'Dark..." She said breathlessly

"Mmmm" the sound rumbled in his chest as he caressed her back and softly kissed her skin, savoring each taste. The he looked at her and smiled wickedly "you know. Coming down in that dress... Then dancing the way you did. That wasnt very nice of you. Looking like that....moving like that in public. I very nearly pinned you to the wall then and there" his eyes danced as he spoke. Running his hands down her hips and gripping her right at the lower back to pull her closer

She laughed and smiled back at him "well. Maybe i like to torture you. Make you beg for it"

He chuckled "hmm. Me? Beg? Not on your life princess, you couldnt make me actually beg"

She stepped away from him and put one hand on his chest and grinned "oh. Is that a *challenge* i hear? Go sit in your chair over there"

He cocked an eyebrow in her direction but complied, pulling the chair to the front of the desk and sitting. This should be interesting

She turned of the lights with the switch by the door. Then walked over to his computer which was behind him on the desk. She went to a music site and put a song on. One that Dark recognized from the club. One hed watched her move to, his heartbeat quicked as he remembered the sight.

She strolled around back to where shed sat her glass and downed it. Then walked to just out of his easy reach and began to move to the music. Body swaying to the beat. Eyes closed. A little drunk but in control and knowing what she was doing. The moonlight played along her body.

Darkiplier reached to touch her and she swatted his hand away.

"Oh no. Put your hands away....you cant touch unless you ask...beg for it." She said mischeviously. "Your hands cannot touch me. But i...oh i cant touch you"

She stepped closer, bending down, holding his knees as she did and bringing her body up in a way so that her face, then chest were right in front of his face. She turned and bent between his knees before coming back up slowly, grinding against him, his hands clenching. His aura crackling around them with his need. But he would not break. He couldnt. His pride wouldnt let him.

But then. Alison straddled him. Legs on either side and sat in his lap. Still moving her body to the beat of the music, leaning back as she moved her hips. This was dangerous territory. She wanted him to touch her. But she also wanted to hear him ask. Dark, to his benefit was trying to keep his composure, but the hardness beneath her was giving him away.

The music stopped and she sat. Still straddling him and put her arms over his shoulders. She grinned at him

"You gonna break?"

Dark laughed. This little minx. If she thought for one second that he was going to-

All thought flew from his brain as he felt her lips on his neck. Her hand tangled in the back of his hair. She ran her tongue along it and then along his lips. Kissing him lightly 'cmon baby. You know you want it. All you have to do is say it.... Let go of the control for once"

He reached to hold her and she caught each of his wrists and held them down "ah ah darky. Not until you ask nicely" she purred in his ear and she ground against him again. Torturing herself as much as she was him

'Alison.." It came out as a half moan, half warning.

She stood up and let go of his wrists and grinned. "Well. I guess ill just have to go to bed alone then."

As she turned she unzipped her dress and let it fall as she walked across the room. Darkipliers eyes almost came out of his head at the sight of her in her black bra and panties. Now this was just evil....

He crossed the room behind her and slammed the door before she could get to it. She turned to see him staring at her in a way that made her feel very much like a wounded animal in front of a panther. He rolled his head to either side with his eyes closed and then stared her down again, his arm over her shoulder against the door, trapping her there

"Now Alison. You have given me great needs. Id like it very much if youd stop torturing me like this'

A playful smile played over her face "but its fun to see you squirm darlin" she licked her lips.

He stared at her than went to his knees "Fine. Is this what you what? You want me to admit i need you? Well here. I absolutely need you. In many ways. Right now i need you to let me run my hands over you, to taste you, to caress every inch inside and out that i can reach Miss Calaway"

He again reach for her hips and this time she didnt stop him. His kissed her on either side, tongue lightly darting over her stomach. He stood and backed her into the wall. Now it was his turn. He grabbed her by the back of her head and roughly captured her mouth, one hand gripping her ass. He moved to her neck, nipping her as she moaned and held onto his shoulders, one hand gripping his head.

"You know im going to have to punish you for that little one" he growled in her ear before.lightly biting her shoulder. She gasped at the sensation

"Ye..yes"

"And you do not need to try that all the time....not that i dont enjoy you being a little forceful.... Are we clear?" He moved to the other side of her neck, pushing his waist to hers as he kissed

"Yes"

"Yes what kitten?" He stared into her eyes as he said this. Conveying a need for her trust. Then he kissed her deeply before allowing her to answer

"Ye-yes sir?"

That did it. His groaned and grabbed the back of both of her legs and picked her up, her lega going around his waist and slammed her against the door as he kissed her. His tongue and lips exploring her neck and chest as she closed her eyes and let the passion wash over her

************

Dark stroked her hair as she lay in his arms. They were in his bed. Having made their way up here and finally she fell asleep after one more time. He smiled. She looked innocent but was decidely not.

Her skin was warm against his. Breast pressed against the side of his chest. He studied her sleeping face. Had he really said it... After the last time. Did those words come from his mouth?

He had said he loved her and she had thrown her head back and begged him to say it again. And when he had, louder this time she collapsed into his arms and whispered it back to him.

Where the words came from he didnt know. But they seemed so natural. He kissed her face and heard birds chirping....it was 5am..looks like theyd nap most of the day. But that was perfectly fine.

His phone buzzed on the night stand. He reached with one arm and grabbed it. Seeing a message from Mark

M:hey. Alisons parents are headed back to their place. If you want her go go, she can.

Darkiplier lauged and shot a text back

D:No. I dont think i want her going anywhere. Im going to keep her a little longer ;)

M:......what did you do

D:Now ask yourself. Do you really want the honest answer to that question from me?

M:... No. You know what. Probably not. Ill stop by when we get back to town next week

D:ok. Be sure to call first. Make sure we're decent and all

M: yeah ok.....and please dont allude to that again...ever

Dark laughed and sat his phone back down. Then wrapped around alison and fell into a heavy sleep...the most peaceful hed known in his existence.

[ellay-gee]

The Important Things

Ayy check it out, I’m figuring Tumblr out.  What a way to spend a sick day.  It was weirdly ominous that i got very ill the night I posted a sickfic. o.O

also, apologies to mobile readers, as the ‘keep reading’ thing apparently does not transfer over, and I just don’t have the energy to mess with it at this time.  damn fever.

Prompto should probably not be left on his own ever, but especially not when he's running a fever and can barely form coherent speech.

Ignis sighed in frustration as he pinched the bridge of his nose, nudging his glasses up a little as he did.  “Prompto, ginger ale is not medication.”

The voice on the other end of the line was closer to gravel than sunshine, and Ignis winced in sympathy for how painful it must’ve been for the blond to speak.  “Sure id is, Ig.  S’tha cure-all fer what ails you.”

Ignis tapped his foot on the marble floor as he checked his watch. It was difficult to tell if Prompto was just laying it on thick, or if he’d actually somehow gotten worse in the two hours since Ignis left that morning.  “I’ll be home in about six hours.  Do you think you’ll be alright till then?  I can probably send Gladio or Iris over—“

A harsh cough interrupted him before his boyfriend’s voice came back, weaker and a little wheezier.  “Dodo, s’ok.  I probbiss. I got…gidger ale. Add oj with the pulp, so, y’dow…healthy.  And that coddedsed soup; also healthy. I’m juss gonda sleep, Ig.  Just.  I’ll be ok, kay?”

“Condensed soup.” Ignis scoffed, but couldn’t keep the soft smile from his voice. “How you ever made it to nineteen is a mystery.”

“I’b tellig you, s’tha gidger ale. Goddds, Iggy. Feels like I’b swallowig glass.  This is not gonda be good for our sex life.”

Ignis clucked his tongue affectionately. “As if I’d touch you in your current state.”

Prompto let out something between a hack and a laugh.  “Y’dow you cad’t resist me. Lubb you, hab a good daaaay.”

Ignis returned the sentiment and hung up.  He had a feeling that he’d have his work cut out for him when he got home.

Somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to mind.

When Ignis next found himself with an extra moment, it was two hours and eleven texts later.

Prompto →  hey wheres canpoter?

Prompto →  canopner*

Prompto →  the thing that opens cans

Prompto →  im hungry and everything is working abaingst me.

Prompto →  nm its a poptop

Prompto →  stove hates me. Everything hates me. All but you ig. U r bust.

Prompto →  best*

Prompto →  fuck it going back to bed.

Prompto →  shit ur at ur meetings. Sorry.  Gods hope ur shit is on slient.

Prompto →  forvige me?

Prompto →  fuuuck. FORGIVE* me???

Me  → Always

Me  → Please do get some rest.  I will be home as soon as I am able

Me  → And the can opener is in the drawer to the left of the sink

Me  → Where it always is

Noctis groaned next to him, rolling his eyes as he read the messages over his adviser’s shoulder.  “Prom’s sick, huh? He’s the living worst when he’s sick.”

Ignis frowned down his charge. “Yes, he can be a bit much.”

Noctis laughed at that, “Yeah, that’s how you know he’s really ok.  It’s when he starts lying and getting quiet that you have to be worried.

“One time he got the flu and refused to admit he was feeling bad. Kept himself going with energy drinks and cough syrup.  He was loopy as hell and fucking bit it on the track during gym; completely blacked out while running pretty fast and basically ended up with road-rash and a concussion.”

Ignis winced in sympathy. “Hmm, yes. I thought I was successfully keeping him under wraps, but yesterday he slipped out before I woke and went to training.  Cor had to call me to come collect him from the men’s room floor.  Apparently he didn’t make formation and the marshal found him ‘vomiting up everything he’d ever eaten’.  He’s been mewling in bed ever since.”

Noctis gave Ignis a sympathetic expression.  “Poor dude.  Just make sure you don’t get it and give it to me.”

“Of course, Highness.  I wouldn’t dream of getting you ill.  You’re a thousand times worse than Prompto.”

The adviser chuckled as the prince seemed to consider this, finally nodding in agreement. “You’re right. I’m definitely worse.”

The second time Ignis was able to pull away from the meeting long enough to glance at his phone, another hour had gone by. In that time, Prompto had managed to send him seven links to songs he’d apparently listened to and wished to share, a rambling text about how much he ‘lurvd’ the adviser, and an article about how ginger ale could, in fact, settle one’s stomach.

Rolling his eyes, Ignis sent off a sweet text, wishing his boyfriend well and promising he’d be home as soon as possible. With real medicine.

By the time Ignis was finally able to go home, it was three hours and zero texts later.  This was a little disconcerting, so he placed a call to Prompto’s phone as he headed for the garage.  Receiving no answer, he waited for the cheery greeting to end and left a message.

“Darling, I am on my way home.  I need to stop by the pharmacy to collect your medications.  I’ll be there soon, though.  Love you.”

He slipped his phone back in his pocket and hurried his step. He didn’t like being away from Prompto for this long when the freckled youth was sick or otherwise incapacitated.  Ignis learned early on in their relationship that Prompto never wanted to ‘be a bother’, and would instead try to soldier on as if nothing were wrong. He could have a high fever and a sprained ankle, and he’d still insist on going on his morning run and completing his chores around their small house.

Ignis loved him endlessly, but there were times in which he would like to throttle the boy. Prompto’s self-deprecating/self-destructive streak could be rather irksome at times.

He stopped at the usual pharmacy and picked up cold medicine and a few other necessities, doing his best not to tap his foot impatiently as he stood in line. It would still be at least thirty minutes before he’d actually get home.

Though he’d been the one to insist that they get a place near the outskirts of the city, he did find himself regretting it from time to time, if only in instances such as this. But, he’d wanted to give Prompto something beautiful. The boy had been raised in the city, and though they could not move outside the Wall due to Ignis’ duties, the adviser could give him new scenery to explore. So, he’d found a small rental property situated on its own acre of land, nestled in among the rolling hills near the wall. Sure, it was a longer commute, but they spent it together most days which made it bearable.

He enjoyed their late afternoons in their little home; Prompto would wander the hills and the thicket of woods at the back of the property, taking photos while Ignis prepared dinner. They were even considering getting a dog, though Ignis himself would prefer a cat.

He was not going for Prompto’s ‘compromise’ of getting both.

As he turned onto the three mile stretch of gravel road that led to their little home, Ignis pressed the button on his dash to connect the Bluetooth, hoping Prompto would pick up this time. He had several bags and was hoping the other man could unlock the door for him.

He breathed a quiet relieved sigh when the phone was answered.  Prompto sounded awful, not even able to make intelligible sounds on his end.

“I’m almost home, darling.” He said when Prompto gave up talking in favor of hacking up a lung.  “I know you’re not feeling well, but could you—“

Prompto gasped into the phone, his voice ragged. “Iggy.  Ig. S’hot.  I dunno—“

Ignis swallowed hard. It sounded like Prompto had only gotten worse in their hours apart. “I know, darling, I know. It’s probably just because of your fever—“’

Prompto hissed through the line, whining little when he couldn’t stop another string of coughs.  “Nooo Iggyyy.  S’hot. I…the sto..the soup…” he trailed off as he wheezed desperately. “S..ss..smoke.”

With that last sibilant word, Ignis pressed his foot firmly on the gas pedal, his tires spinning in the gravel before gaining purchase, spitting rocks as he sped down the road. “Are you saying there’s a fire, Prompto?  Prom? Can you get out of the house?”

But there’s only coughing and a small thump quickly followed by a larger one from the other end, and Ignis’ stomach tightens considerably.  He brakes only slightly when their driveway comes into sight, the end of his town car fishtailing as he swerved into it. He shut the engine off and snatched the keys from the ignition before stumbling from the car and bounding up the porch stairs.

Smoke was indeed beginning to rise from the small building, and his hands shook as he shoved his key into the door, unlocking it and rushing inside.

Luckily for him, the living room was mostly clear of smoke, though it was heavy in the hall leading to the kitchen. Ignis called Prompto’s name before covering his mouth with his shirt and plunging into the haze.

He tried calling Prompto’s name, but quickly gave up as the smoke penetrated his lungs. His first stop was the kitchen, where he could barely make out the fire was licking up the cabinets above the stove and across the counter for all the smoke. Luckily he was able to spot a flash of Prompto’s bright blue pajama pants on the floor behind the dining table before he moved on in his search.  

Of course he would be as close to the fire as he could possibly get. He would not be Prompto, otherwise.

Ignis shoved this thought aside as he lept into action, kicking a flaming chair out of his way as he rushed towards Prompto. He crouched down, gripped Prompto under his arms and dragged him from the room.

Once far enough from the flames, Ignis scooped the boy up in his trembling arms and strode back out into the early evening air.  He laid Prompto in the grass and crouched down again, this time checking his breathing and pulse.

Thankfully, both were there and at near-normal levels, all things considered. He quickly checked the blond over for more injuries, finding some small burns on his arms and hands and a growing lump on his head where it had presumably struck the floor when he fell. The adviser fished his phone from his pocket and quickly dialed for emergency services before planting himself down on the ground next to his lover, pulling the other’s small frame into his lap.

His throat tightened as he gazed up at their perfect little house while it spat flames into the darkening sky. Ignis swallowed down his panic as he pressed gentle kisses to Prompto’s slack brow, running his free hand in circles on the smaller man’s chest as he rocked them both.

“Just stay out of the kitchen, Prompto.” Ignis said from the doorway as the freckled youth headed inside.  It had been three days since the fire, and they were just now being allowed to come back in and collect anything that may be salvageable.

“I know, I know.” Prompto’s voice was still rough; not only from the cold, but also from the smoke inhalation. He stepped lightly through the living room, heading for the hall.

Ignis followed, taking the same path; both men giving the kitchen a wide berth. Prompto was heading towards their bedroom, finding it mostly intact; just light soot stains covering everything. The adviser pulled out a notebook and began making a list of everything they would need to have packed up and delivered to their storage unit while Prompto began gathering the things they needed right then.

It was a short trip; they collected a few bags of clothing and some of Ignis’ important files. Most of the trunk was filled with Prompto’s camera equipment and various other electronics. While the blond carried the last of their things out to the car, Ignis found himself wandering towards the kitchen, though he was careful to remain outside the room.

He couldn’t help the sadness that swept over him. They’d spent so many mornings in this room, talking softly over breakfast. This was actually the first room they’d made love in when they had moved in. Now, the room was riddled with half-burnt debris and there was a clear spot outlined in soot where Prompto had been laying while fire raged all around him.

What remained of the interior was mostly black, but great chunks of the outside wall were missing and daylight shone through in cheerful juxtaposition to the destruction it illuminated. The fire had began due to a faulty light on the stove; it had not come on to indicate that it was heating when Prompto had put the soup on, and in his sickly stupor, he simply gave up--leaving it on as he went back to bed, believing the stove to be broken. After a few hours, the soup had cooked down and began to burn; the inspector reasoned that the curtains above the stove had probably been the first thing to actually catch fire and it had quickly spread from there.

He supposed he’d been lost in his melancholy longer than necessary, for he was startled out of his thoughts by a hesitant arm encircling his waist.

He wrapped his own arm around Prompto’s shoulders, pulling him closer, smiling a little at the warmth that rose in his chest when the smaller man leaned bodily into him.  

“I’m so sorry, Iggy.” Prompto ground out, rubbing his face into Ignis’ side. “Looks like all your stuff is ruined. Kinda unfair that my stuff’s ok, but you couldn’t save anything of yours.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that.” Ignis squeezed Prompto’s shoulder and dropped a kiss into his hair.  “I saved you, didn’t I? You’re all the ‘stuff’ I need.”

Prompto chuckled, poking Ignis in the side playfully. “The only kind of ‘stuff’ I am is hot stuff.” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively at the adviser, who groaned and rolled his eyes in response.

“I love you dearly, but please save the puns for me.” He laughed a little louder, a little more freely, as Prompto pulled him towards the door.

“Nuh-uh, you don’t own puns, Igs.” Prompto quelled any further argument by pulling Ignis down into a passionate kiss.

It was a cheap way to win the impending playful exchange, but Ignis couldn’t bring himself to mind.

[thedappleddragon]

haha here we go again

there's a lot of dumb ranting and 3 days worth of logs and a dream in here so im gonna spare evryone’s dashboard and just put it all under the cut.

tw bad memories, talk of unhealthy relations with food, and dreams about dead animals

I realized I kind of entirely forgot to write about what I did yesterday? I kind of did a lot. I know my mom wanted to work on getting tile laid out in front of her bathroom, so we worked together to scrub the concrete and wipe up all the dirt and dust and whatever was under the carpet and remove some of the nails in the floor and bring up a spiky metal strip between the bathroom door and where the carpet was. The other main thing I remember is deciding to continue work on my dress, sewing up the outer bodice, checking that the bodice and lining would fit together, deciding I’d rather have no different colored front panel, and working on the circle skirt. At first I tried cutting the fabric on my bed, but it wasn’t big enough and too lumpy. I contemplated asking my friends if I could borrow their dining table, but I ended up clearing off my own. After I traced and was in the middle of pinning, I accidentally knocked over a glass bowl that I had set on the chair. My mom heard it from the other room and had me come to her room to tell her what it was. She got angry at me, which I thought was fuckin stupid if it was an accident, but after some reflection while cleaning up the glass pieces, I kind of understood why. Mostly I got a little upset about 2 ceramic pieces I made during school breaking a little from the drop. One was a mushroom house from middle school that always makes me remember feeling like an asshole during peer review when I told my person to smooth their project more because I didn’t know “no improvement needed” was an option until I got back to my desk and saw my person saying it was good in all categories because everyone thought my project was great for some reason. The other was a bunch of flowers on a circle. It was the last project we did before quarantine hit, I think. That one is in less tough shape, just a couple flowers knocked off and a chip on one of them. They can both be glued back together, I guess. Then my mom called me back into her room to listen to her talk about wanting to eat huge amounts of food, because she’s clinically depressed with BPD and PTSD and DID and several other acronyms and her favorite coping mechanism is food, but her doctor put her on a diet so she can get her knees replaced, but recently she’s been getting into a zone where she talks about wanting to eat entire cakes and pizzas and buckets of kfc and a gallon of queso or whatever the fuck and she goes “doesn’t that sound GOOD?” And I have to laugh along and say “haha no that sounds bad actually” and get her a piece of ham or something. And every time she goes on her spiel the only thing I can think of is the greedy from the raggedy Ann and Andy musical. It’s just this horrible undulating orange blob that eats everything in sight and seeing it for the first time just made me think of mom and it made me very uncomfortable, with all the orange goo and hurling noises. Also reminds me of this horrible video game boss fight where it’s the apocalypse and a fat lady on a scooter took over the buffet and eats so much during her boss fight, during the defeat cutscene she projectile vomits everywhere and dies. My brother Greg showed me that thinking it was funny. I hated it, and I still do. He showed me a lot of things he thought were funny as a shitty little kid, and I remember several of them being very upsetting. It’s ok. I don’t want to dwell on it. But after cleaning the glass and talking to mom I brought my fabric to my room and called it a night. Oh wait my dad also helped me with some paperwork my coworker handed me so I could get on the payroll.

Today I woke up differently than I have in a long time. I set an alarm for 10 am so I could be at work by 11, but I woke up at 9 from a heavy sleep with dreams about hanging out with my friend in my room, worrying about my dirty house. I wanted to sleep longer, so I got up at 10 to have breakfast and get ready. I spent my shift changing the price tags all around the store, making everything more expensive. I’m gonna work again on Tuesday where I’ll learn how to use the register. I hope I don’t fuk it up, but I have a couple days to relax until then. Maybe I’ll work on my dress. My friends all want to go to prom together, so my new deadline will be March 2nd or a little before. I still need to buy a ticket, but I don’t have access to the link to buy one :( bleh I’m too tired right now to worry about this shit. I only worked 4 hours again today, but after I got home I felt like I could have worked longer if they gave me something else to do. The only price tags left to change were a bunch of grills and stuff I don’t know about but I don’t know if they had any other work for my to do. But I’m glad I went home tho because I was hungry and my feet hurt from standing lol. I did laundry and made myself dinner and washed my hair and drew a little bit and made the table and tbh the pacing of today has been so weird I don’t remember everything. It’s only 1am but I think I’m just gonna go to bed. my friends started talking about going to prom, and I really want to join them, but I can't figure out where/how to buy a ticket. my brain started being really mean to me, syaing that I was being annoying and pushy and that they didnt want me at prom for some reason, so I low-key almost made myself cry until my friend offered to let me be their platonic date since their partner couldn't go. 

last night I had a dream about a hard video game where when you played it, the black shadow enemies would fight you in real life, and one of them left imprints on my arm in the shape of lego bricks. they could only attack you so long as you played the game, and they tried to capture people and you were supposed to save them. I decided it was my time to play, and I walked into my garage that had turned into a cave with bat-people fused into the wall. I paid them no mind as I rescued a girl who was my irl brother, grabbing her hand and pulling her into another versoin of my garage which was uncorrupted and normal looking. she thanked me, and I said it was no problem. then I tricked her, telling her not to trust so easily, as I became one of the shadow enemies and engulfed her in a black sack, trapping her and leaving the room. I came back a couple minutes later, letting him free (now my brain told me he was my brother) telling him I just wanted to know if I was capable of tricking him, and didnt actually want to kill him or whatever.  another big chunk of my dream was taken up by me, my sister, and my dad visiting a run down petting zoo/gamestop. the petting zoo barn was very dark with low ceilings with lots of rabbits and pigs and hay. one of us accidentally killed either a pig or a tiger right next to the exit door, and I had to slink around the gamester trying to distract the owner and keep him from going in the barn and escaping at the same time. I dont remember how it ended, other than me waking up with a sore throat from breathing so deeply through my nose. I had slept on my stomach wit my pillow in my face so I could hardly breathe, and even after I woke up I felt like I wasnt getting enough air. I HATE that feeling, I always felt like I was suffocating in middle school for some reason. I thinkk somethings wrong with my airway but im not gonna do anything about it. im gonna continue to spend 80% of my day laying down so my resting heart rate and breathing speed is slower than an goddamn sloth. whatever.

right now as im laying in bed typing this I feel utterly unpoductive but I KNOW I did SOME shit today. but yeah mostly I relaxed. I worked on my dress, removing and replacing the blue front panel. I lost my exacto knife somewhere so I went to dollar tree to get a knockoff, along with snacks for mom and my sister. the blades aren't as sharp as exacto, but I still know where the name brands blades are so maybe Ill try and see if they're compatible. when I open the package everything was oily and gross, so I washed everything off with soap and water before I used them to cut the threads of the panel seams. I could have used my seam ripper but I wanted to get a replacement craft knife anyway. its kinda neat that it came with 6 different shaped blades for different crafts :) but uhh I also cut out the other half of the circle skirt of the dress, and I have a bunch of extra fabric left over. probably enough to make a whole other bodess if I wanted too. I used my sewing machine to attach the new front panel, and I was hoping to get more sewing done tonight, but when I asked my sister if it was ok for me to use my sewing machine (it right next to the wall between our rooms so she can hear it from there) she said she was going to bed soon so I just attatched the front panel and called it a night. so that kinda sucked. I still have another day tomorrow before I have to work again, and I can still work on my dress on Tuesday after work. idk why my brain thinks that one 4 hour shift is gonna take up my entire day lmao. I just have to get the whole thing done by may 2nd. GOD that reminds me, im gonna be so busy next month. I have six events back to back happening like every other day, plus work. oof. I'll have to let my boss know, but idk If that's gonna make him mad. I've already got pretty comfortable with the lady in charge of the garden center who’s taken lead position while the manager is on vacation, but I dont think I;ll every understand my boss. he’s a sarcastic busy old man and NOT AT ALL approachable. whatever. really the only other tings I did today were drink a shit ton of water play harvest moon, spend too much time on tiktok, and sraw a couple dum things for my friends’ princess au. I fucking HATE the drawing I did for Anna, so I designed her a secondary outfit more inspired by sky pirate bohemian vibes, since she rules over the floating islands. idk if I'll replace her old outfit with the new one in the lineup or just re-draw her old one with better shapes and composition and match the style better or what. I just need it changed eventually becasuse it looks like ass. tbh now that ve taken a little bit of time away from the princess au, there are a couple designs im not 100% satisfied with. but I know that if I go back and make them more detailed or whatever the’ll be more of a hassle to draw and aslkdfhalksdf I dont know anymore. I'm still tied up about color pallets and trying to give everyone a distinct color, and im a little upset it doesn't quite work, and FUCK dude the edgy one’s lore and character are weird and I kind of want to revise it to make it a little nicer but its not my character and I need to stop shoving my dirty little mitts into everyone’s ocs and AHAGHRGHGARGHHG idk man. her power is necromancy and she has a skeleton army, which I think I kinda cool, but I also think it would be neat if her powers extended beyond just that to communing with the dead, helping them find rest, and THEN maybe it can branch into helping fallen soldiers fight again to help them with unfinished buisness. and then if she goes feral and starts abusing her powers, she ignores all the communication and concent with the dead and instead magically rips them from thr ground to do her bidding and they’re uncontrollable and violent and aimless, just like her mind slipping from the magical blight infecting her. idk man we’re till working on a lot of lore. her concept could be SO COOL with just that little bit of extra thought, but so far it’s just MY POWER IS DEATH IM SO EDGY. ugh I know its fuckin rude to bash your friends oc ideas and I might be too overbearing and controlling of this au but dammit im tired and im mean sometimes and my ego is through the goddamn roof and im so sexy and im always right and my meat is huge. ah shit I rpomised my friend I would help her with character design for the dead king but I was busy when she firat asked me and now im not busy but im not doing it ugh. im just frustrated right now because I spent wayyyy to fuckin long just laying in bed watching tikotks and youtube and playing harvest moon an doing jack shit all day. but hey at least I attempted to get a new social security card again today. and them promptly gave up when they said my adress was invalid. again. I feel like im in an uncomfortable medium between having no plans and worrying about the future and having too many plans all the time oh my god. ive been so focused on getting a job and then having a job and making this dress I completely forgot about college shit. thankfully there's no hard deadlines coming up that I haven't already finished. whatever I dont really want to worry about all this hit right now, im just gonna take it one day at a time. (haha it feels like my angel oc just stepped in. how nice of him :) )

[groundramon]

Homph I finished tri and I wrote down my thoughts as I was watching because I had too many funny shitposts and nobody to share them with bc charlie hasn’t watched tri yet

PS i wont be reblogging tri spoilers (besides MINOR stuff like, digivolutions of already confirmed digivolution lines or non-spoilery shitposts, but I’ll try to tag shitposts as #tri spoilers anyways [digivolutions specific to tri ill tag as well but not ones that were already basically confirmed]) for a while so ur safe here!  I’m just gonna like everything/most things because then I can rb em to hisyaryumon lmao (also u should check out hisyaryumon....its me n charlie’s digimon blog)

EP 1:

- ok. alright. ok. good. they’re dealing with kari’s emotions now instead of just. nothing.  ok. alright. cool.  Still dont like how obscure/”artsy” they’re being with it, this is digimon not kagerou project, but ok.

- Also. I stand by tk and kari being one of the few good straight ships in digimon.  just saying.

- kari: this is my fault... me: god damn it shut up you little brat also me: god relatable ALSO me: ill take whatever display of emotions i can get

- I love how nobody believes tai is dead like.  They’re upset and worried but they’re also like “nah. he cant be. that fucking asshole just left us in our time of need” (actually only matt is the last one)

- Gabumon i would die for you also im crying and I think that’s the first time tri managed to make me fucking CRY

EP 2:

- I had thoughts but then the 02 kids happened and I entered another plane of reality.  I don’t feel real right now

- the only one I can remember is evil!gennai being a dumbass and being like “SUFFER AND SQUIRM YOU PATHETIC HUMANS AS YOU FIGHT OVER THE LAST SEAT” 1. humans are KNOWN for their ability to care for others you dumb obvious fuck and 2. is. is the entire tube going? because that tube can fit too people if they squish.  This isn’t a joke I’m serious it can.

- oh yeah also when i saw whomstever the fuck his name is (adult guy who i love but fuck names) and he was all bloodied i was like “its a cold day in hell when i see blood in digimon” (I think there was blood in an earlier ep but shh idc)

EP 3:

- didn’t nishijima start off as a fucking life coach to these kids.  What the fuck he was supposed to help them find a career not emotionally scar them by bloodily dying in front of one of them

- im realizing that the reason hackmon was always in his cloak, in the shadows, standing still is that they cannot animate him in any normal position for the life of him.  I drew him with better anatomy when i was 14 and didn’t have a tablet.  No seriously, look:

I didn’t say it wasn’t bad, you guys are just underestimating how bad the anatomy on this poor creature is.  Why cant ppl draw dracomon or hackmon correctly imma cry

- ordinemon has the best reaction faces

the best part about these two screenshots is that they literally cut one to the other, first the first one to the second one and then it cuts back to the first one.  They were really proud of these stupid ass expressions.

- I started overcoming my dissociation shock from the second episode and my hypercritical mind was analyzing the shit out of everything that happened (it is Not happy) but then evil!gennai called kari and evil goddess and idk if he’s exaggerating to make her feel bad or if she’s literally a fucking god of chaos and destruction and either way im like

she did kinda like.  Watch wizardmon die, watch tai die, watch gatomon get absorbed.  The dark ocean is just a metaphor for depression and honestly if 02 wasn’t all over the fucking place I think Kari would’ve had some pretty decent development in it.  Actually you know what, I’m using that as an angle to approach Tri at now, wish me luck bc i might actually give it more leeway now

EP 4:

- I’m not dissociating but I forgot to say anything again and I already forgot what happened

- Cant believe mei is fucking dead

EP 5:

- I like to imagine that Tai got there like a few minutes ago, but he was like “well damn guess yall figured it out without me.  alright ill just. see if I need to do anything” and then meicoomon was Still Bad so he waited for when she struck just to make the most badass entrance possible.  Fucking extra ass bitch

- I forgot to write anything again but uhhh I wasn’t satisfied so anyways lets just get into the Juicy Details

Originally I was actually planning to be kinder to Tri than I expected.  Was very invested during it.  ‘Round the end of the last ep I realized hmmm no this isn’t working out.  Where are the 02 kids.  You should’ve brought them in to save the day.  That would’ve been SO cool and SO fun.  Fucking cowards.

god I’m kinda tired so I’m going to address a couple things I still had problems with, note that this isn’t everything it’s just everything I felt comfortable yelling about without rewatching past eps.  Like I forgot nishijima was all bloodied and presumably died in the last part until they brought it up and I was like “????” ALSO DID THE LADY WHO WAS HIS PARTNER OR W/E KILL HERSELF WITH THE GUN SHE FOUND, I JUST REALIZED LITERALLY AS I WAS TYPING THIS THAT SHE FOUND A GUN AND THEN I THINK IT CUT TO BLACK AND I’M

DID SHE FUCKING KILL HERSELF WHAT THE FUCK

anyways my problems:

1. They did joe. really dirty.  I’ll write a more proper rant on this sometime later (mostly bc charlie is MUCH better at talking about joe than I am) but basically I can tell you that his character development in the movies squandered his OG character development.  He’s basically an entirely different person.  Like Tri joe isn’t bad, besides being largely neglected (yes he has a whole half a movie to himself, no that doesn’t make up for it all), its just...not OG joe.  He’s a fine character just not the same character, and its NOT fine when you put the two together.

2. THEY DID THE 02 KIDS EVEN DIRTIER IM SO BITTER sorry you nostalgia-blind, money-hungry fucks at bandai, but the 02 cast is PART OF THE ADVENTURES UNIVERSE.  The only people who hate 02 are ones who like the characters but hate the mess of the storyline at the end, or are completely irrational and elitist about their love of the digimon series and would greatly re-evaluate their opinions if they watched the original series and 02 back to back.  They couldn’t even show them in some kind of group montage at the end??? Standing in the background when they call Mei???  Why couldn’t they call mei from a home phone also, but that’s a less important problem idc that much.  It was a cute scene besides the lack of 02 characters.  Whatever.  AND THE PROBLEM IS LIKE kari and tk?  This entire time???  Were like “oh they disappeared. oops” instead of being frantically searching for their lost friends???  Like i get tk and kari probably have fucking ptsd and can’t express any emotions because they watched important people die in front of their eyes at an incredibly young age but also 1. they didn’t address the ramifications of ptsd, so fuck that theory/excuse and 2. THAT??? WOULD ONLY MAKE THEM LOOK HARDER??? and put on a brave face as they look, but inside they’re so scared and so worried.  Not just “oh sweet, they were found/saved, theyre in the hospital but that’s fine” like WHAT theyre fucking assholes if that’s what they’d canonically do lmao.  God I am SO bitter over the ENTIRE thing with the 02 kids, it would’ve been BETTER if they were deleted from the fucking canon entirely.  Would I have still been bitter?  Yes.  But at least I wouldn’t be madder at TK and Kari too.

3. I stand 100% by the notion that Digimon is not and will never be cut out to be an adults’ franchise.  It wasn’t designed for adults, and it can’t be skewered towards adults.  These particular characters were designed for kids to relate to and find entertaining.  They do not work when placed into an adult setting.  Like, can you imagine a character like Ed from FMA going to the Digimon world?  I guess in a way that’s just Marcus but like.  Just imagine the FMA cast in Digimon Adventure.  It doesn’t work.  Digimon Tri is basically that except real.  Also Data Squad was darker than Adventure so my joke doesn’t even work.

I guess my primary point is that Tri isn’t mature enough of a setup for an adult audience.  It puts a focus on being “complex” and “philosophical” instead of working within Digimon’s constraints and making something good and adult out of that.  Like!  Digimon is a fucking TOY COMMERCIAL.  Don’t give me messages about the futility of human life.  I want bad puns and emotional characters.  That’s what Digimon has ALWAYS been, and ideally always will be.  Tri could’ve made itself more mature by dealing with the ramifications of the Digital World’s events, how it affected the kids psychologically and dealing with healing old scars.  It would’ve been a more mature take on a story we loved and would use things we loved about the story already - the fact that it took so much time exploring characters’ emotions and was surprisingly mature for the time - to make itself better.  You need to take the aspects that drew adults to the show and amplify them, not just slap on a complex story and unfunny dialogue and be like “oh this is fine, right?”

It’s not that Digimon can’t exist as an adult property, its just that if it repeats what Tri did, it’s got no merit and in my eyes the franchise is dead.  If it survives I guess I’ll be happy that people can still enjoy it but I find it unsustainable and unsatisfying to fans of the older series.  Tri is just a fuckfest of highly specific nostalgia that tries too hard to appeal to old fans without capturing what made the original series so magical, and in part thats because the original series WASN’T FOR ADULTS.  I don’t know about the Digimon Story games, bc they’re T-rated so perhaps they’re a better take on an adult Digimon story than Tri?  But you either need to make your own characters and lore specifically for an adult-oriented Digimon season, or perish.  Also, please make it a series and not a group of movies.  Getting four eps every 6-9 months was hell.

I stand by saying Appmon is a more faithful Digimon season than Tri to Digimon’s original spirit.  I believe it holds more potential for success than Tri and better embodies the spirit of the older Digimon seasons.  It’s dumb, its corny, it has horrible puns, but I LOVE it because it also has a deep dark story and emotional moments.  If you dislike Tri and you agree with things I said that make it unlikeable, I highly recommend giving Appmon a chance - if you watch a few episodes and think “oh yeah, I guess this is decent” you’re going to like it.  It’s everything Digimon has always been and hopefully always will be, just with a different concept.  And hopefully the end of the series doesn’t leave a sour taste in my mouth and I have to redact this statement haha since I’m not done with it yet, but I’ve heard good things about it so I’m hoping not so.

Overall, if you watch Tri, don’t get your hopes up.  It resolves everything okay-ish but it’s a pretty forgettable anime on its own and simply doesn’t work as part of the Digimon franchise.

I am, however, pretty interested in what evil!gennai said at the end about Diaboromon and Daemon.  It raises interesting questions about the timeline too.  We know Daemon is in the dark ocean, so perhaps that’s a hint at a future project?  (They did confirm a future project btw, in conjunction with tri being over)  But what about Diaboromon?  I dont believe that Our War Game (I think thats what its called?) took place after Tri, based on the outfits and ages and stuff, but I also don’t remember the movies that well.  Could Diaboromon still be out there too?  It’s interesting.

However, because of the lackluster performance of Tri, I don’t have my hopes up and I really hope that this “next project” goes in a different direction.  Although I guess if they include the 02 kids, I’ll be somewhat less salty...

Side note, did they ever explain why the gennais went evil?  Like ?  That’s a pretty important thing.  The gennais helped SAVE the human world in 02.  And I get that apparently Tri is ignoring 02′s ending but still.  It’s shitty, because Gennai was still a good guy in the original too (and also they cant just keep is younger look and act like 02 never happened)  MAYBE its something I missed but I dont think so.  God there’s just.  So much wrong with Tri.  I’m very displeased and very bitter and I wanna get back to Appmon asap.

It’s got good moments, its got bad moments, I dont know, I don’t care.  There’s nothing wrong with you if you like it, there’s nothing wrong with you if you don’t, and there’s nothing wrong with you if you flip flop and are split like me.  I just wish Tri fulfilled its potential instead of becoming a boring mess.

[garden-ghoul]

return of the blog, part 11

“ghoul ‘can’t tell the difference between anxiety and hunger’ surname”

time for!! the chapter we’ve all been waiting for!! (all the ghouls anyway)

THE SCOURING OF THE SHIRE

There’s a large spiky gate blocking the ferry. Our hobbits hammer on it until some people come out, and then start telling them off for denying their friends entry on such a wet night. Apparently Lotho “The Chief” Sackville-Baggins has started hiring thugs to fuck with people?? I want to know if he was sponsored by Saruman or something, or if he genuinely just took owning Bag End as his big chance to be a huge dick. OH. One of the ruffians he has hired is none other than Bill “the Big Man” Ferny! I can’t remember, is Bill Ferny human? Is that why he’s Big, or is it more of an importance title? Anyway, this is interesting to see him as an ‘enforcer,’ since Butterbur straight-up called him a robber. Merry threatens to kill him; Bill the pony kicks him; he runs off and is Never Seen Again. How neat...

Even after our hobbits have gotten through the gate... nobody is allowed to put them up for the night. Pippin yawns showily; everyone nervously eyes his sword and mail. And they agree to take our hobbits in, just for one night. They have to provide their own food, and there’s a lot of this sort of thing:

‘Now you shut up, Hob Hayward!’ cried several of the others. ‘You know talk o’ that sort isn’t allowed. The Chief will hear of it, and we’ll all be in trouble.’

‘He wouldn’t hear naught, if some of you here weren’t sneaks,’ rejoined Hob hotly.

Despite the fact that the Brandywine is a good 40 miles from Bag End, the next day a bunch of “shirriffs” (distinct from sheriffs somehow? an actual spelling used somewhere in Britain? just for flavor?) block the road. While quaking in their boots they read off a list of incredibly petty-sounding crimes. Frodo laughs at them, and Sam gets this famous line:

‘I can add some more, if you like it,’ said Sam. ‘Calling your Chief Names, Wishing to punch his Pimply Face, and Thinking you Shirriffs look a lot of Tom-fools.’

Thinking someone is foolish cannot possibly be a crime, Mr Gamgee, those are the tamest crimes ever. Maybe that’s the joke. I love Sam. Throw an apple at ‘im! Everyone laughs even harder when the head Shirriff tries to arrest Frodo. Well, he happens to be going to Bag End anyway, on business! You lot can tag along, if you please! “Very well,” says the leader, “but don’t forget I’ve arrested you.” Frodo, I like to imagine, gives him a pitying look. But says he may forgive him someday. How generous!

Sam takes aside one of the shirriffs who he knows and has a little talk. Lotho has outlawed beer?? And that’s why there are no more inns. Sorry, what. How can you outlaw beer. How was there not mass rioting when he announced this. Sam’s shirriff friend would like some rioting, but he’s too afraid to try and start one himself. Lotho has been kidnapping people if they try to start anything. The next day our hobbits ride behind the shirriffs, so it looks like they’re the ones being arrested by fancy aristocrat hobbits! A bunch of people on the road make fun of the shirriffs, but Merry threatens them to make sure they can’t fight back. They ride so hard that the shirriffs get tired out and have to rest, leaving our hobbits to go on ahead. Meet you at the Green Dragon!

Unfortunately the Green Dragon is full of ruffians (humans!) The whole village of Bywater (which I assume is Hobbiton’s closest neighbor) is in a bad way: many homes have been burned down, and nobody is out. One of the ruffians in the Green Dragon mentions someone named Sharkey, which is extremely ominous. I’ve never heard an orc call Saruman that, but Orcsong Anon tells me they do, so I have to assume that Saruman is behind this. Somehow Frodo knows Saruman is Sharkey I guess? He’s a very clever person, I suppose. He tries to taunt the ruffians, but they don’t actually care if Saruman is a beggar in the wilderness. They can still threaten hobbits just fine without him.

Pippin has had enough bullshit.

He cast back his cloak, flashed out his sword, and the silver and sable of Gondor gleamed on him as he rode forward. ‘I am a messenger of the King,’ he said. ‘You are speaking to the King’s friend, and one of the most renowned in all the lands of the West. You are a ruffian and a fool. Down on your knees in the road and ask pardon, or I will set this troll’s bane in you!’

Oh yeah he killed one (1) troll at Morannon before getting squished. I mean, a troll is no mean feat. It just sounds like he’s misrepresenting himself a little bit to look tougher. Which I fully support. Merry and Sam step forward too, and Frodo just stands there with his arms folded, looking a bit like a mob boss. I DOUBLE approve. The ruffians flee, even though there are six of them and they are twice as tall as the hobbits. They don’t have swords!! They didn’t sign up for this. All the hobbits high five.

They called for help though. This may come to fighting, if they’re to rescue Lotho (probably a prisoner in Bag End by now), but Frodo wants no killing, especially not of hobbits. The young’uns are disgruntled, but who’s the mob boss here? That’s right. Don Baggins. With this, though, he leaves the younger hobbits to plan the night’s work: hiding is what the ruffians want them to do, so they have a short time to raise an army in the Shire. Let’s start with old Farmer Cotton! He’s stout and a big man in Bywater, as it were. Sam rides like hell for Cotton Farm. Merry blows the horn of Rohan, in the Buckland pattern that says Fire! Foes! Awake! Fuck yeah this rules.

Sam takes a moment to say hi to Rosie Cotton, who I really, I just love her, she’s a great person. She’s been expecting him since the spring, though everyone else thought he was dead, and she doesn’t need watching over when there are ruffians to roust! Personally I think she should help but she’d probably rather not get her hands dirty. I can respect that.

A small army of hobbits has gathered already, including a lot of defecting shirriffs; Pippin rides off to bring some Tooks, who already started armed resistance a while ago. He’ll have to Sneak. Twenty ruffians are surrounded and subdued, with only one casualty. We learn that Lotho mostly got rich by 1) already being rich enough to buy other people’s property and 2) selling tobacco at a premium to Saruman. He built a new mill that literally does nothing except produce sludge to pour into the river, because Saruman is a spiteful dumbass. Sam brings his gaffer back, who has a bone to pick with Mr Frodo: he never should of sold Bag End, because Sharkey’s men have gone and dug up all his taters. I would die for this gaffer.

More ruffians come, but the Tooks get there first. Also apparently the ruffians know zilch about strategy, whereas Merry has observed possibly up to five battle strategies. No omg maybe Eowyn was tutoring him. Anyway they pretty much defeat this party of ruffians too, but with a lot more casualties and injuries. Then our hobbits go to Bag End to find Lotho.

Ugh you guys this is the worst. They’ve cut down trees, old trees that probably grew for hundreds of years. Destroy something rebuildable, like houses! Or better yet, don’t destroy anything! Argh! LEAVE TREES ALONE. As they’re searching Bag End Saruman turns up. 

‘Sharkey!’ Frodo cried.

Saruman laughed. ‘So you have heard the name, have you? All my people used to call me that in Isengard, I believe. A sign of affection, possibly.’

Nobody has affection for you, you horrible fool. Saruman is extremely smug about ruining the home of the ones who took him down, because he’s petty, petty, petty. Frodo tells him to get out, and he kind of saunters sneeringly away. Grima tries to stab Frodo as he passes (in hopes of avoiding future beatings... ::( ) but Frodo says don’t kill him! He has been threatened and turned by Saruman, same as many here.

Saruman rose to his feet, and stared at Frodo. There was a strange look in his eyes of mingled wonder and respect and hatred. ‘You have grown, Halfling,’ he said. ‘Yes, you have grown very much. You are wise, and cruel. You have robbed my revenge of sweetness, and now I must go hence in bitterness, in debt to your mercy. I hate it and you!’

THIS is really good. Go sing “Javert’s Suicide” to yourself.  Who is this man hobbit? What sort of devil is he to have me caught in a trap and choose to let me go free? I loooove Frodo’s role as peacekeeper and voice of moderation. Trying to prevent the spread of Saruman’s ideals of violence in the Shire. Frodo offers to let Wormtongue stayy and rest, because “I know of no evil you have done to me” (it was only an attempted stabbing) and Wormtongue wants to accept but... Saruman tells everyone that he killed Lotho.

‘Didn’t you, Worm? Stabbed him in his sleep, I believe. Buried him, I hope; though Worm has been very hungry lately. No, Worm is not really nice. You had better leave him to me.’

A look of wild hatred came into Wormtongue’s red eyes. ‘You told me to; you made me do it,’ he hissed.

I love this kind of shittttt GET HIM GRIMA!!

Grima gets him, and then for some damned reason three people shoot him. Let him be, folks!! Ugh! Let him live! Too late for that. He is dead. Even Frodo, who offered him sanctuary ninety seconds ago, isn’t sad about it. Damn you!

THE GREY HAVENS

The first thing our hobbits do is let everyone out of prison. Lobelia, who was locked up for trying to hit some of the ruffians with her umbrella for mucking with Bag End, gets a cheer. She’s not used to being popular! She moves away and leaves Bag End to Frodo, and then after dying leaves him a large fund to help homeless hobbits. And So The Feud Was Ended. Really I think there are no more Sackville-Bagginses at all, but if there were it would still be ended. Frodo becomes Deputy Mayor. Merry and Pippin clean up the last of the ruffians. Sam is in charge of rebuilding. I’m not sure why--either he’s learning as he goes, or he has had a great deal of talent all along and never been listened to until he got famous. PROBABLY. He’s a good lad, our Sam!!

The trees were the worst loss and damage, for at Sharkey’s bidding they had been cut down recklessly far and wide over the Shire; and Sam grieved over this more than anything else. For one thing, this hurt would take long to heal, and only his great-grandchildren, he thought, would see the Shire as it ought to be.

And he shares my opinions about trees. Yavanna, are you watching? You better be watching. Sam uses Galadriel’s gift of magic soil, planting seedlings where the most beloved trees were destroyed. The Party Tree (where Bilbo used to host parties) is replaced by a mallorn seedling, which everyone is very excited about. That entire year is extremely fruitful, both in crops and in children. PROBABLY both owing to Sam’s magic dust, somehow. “No one was ill, and everyone was pleased. except those who had to mow the grass.” Hehehehe. OH. SAM IS ALSO DOING FORESTRY WORK. I LOVE HIM. FORESTRY IS MY NEW PASSION AND I LOVE SAM GAMGEE.

Frodo asks when Sam is going to move in. There’s been a hideous misunderstanding, Mr Frodo. I’m actually dating Rosie Cotton, not you. Frodo just says “Marry Rosie, and then move in here! Don’t be ridiculous!” And so Sam got married to both Rosie and Frodo. Merry and Pippin throw a lot of parties and swan about looking Lordly and everyone admires them. Sam is chagrined to note that Frodo receives no admiration, probably because his whole thing is not killing people. Frodo becomes more quiet and withdrawn; I fancy he knows he’ll be leaving Middle Earth soon, and is trying to prepare his husband for when he leaves.

Frodo and Sam set off together; Frodo is going to see Bilbo for his birthday (he’s now older than the Great Took). They’re going for Rivendell, but they’re hardly out of Bywater when they run into a party from that exact place! Including Elrond, Galadriel, and Bilbo himself. Bilbo invites Frodo to come with them where they’re going. Sam is devastated, but Frodo is just Too Traumatized to stay in the Shire. I didn’t mention all the times he got sick from magic wounds and also normal flavor trauma, but it was a couple times a year. He can’t really live in this world any longer, it just takes too much. Saaammmmmeee dude

Sam, Merry, and Pippin say goodbye to Frodo’s party (and Gandalf) at the Havens, and ride home in silence. In a great moment of narrative framing, the book ends with Sam putting his daughter on his lap and saying, “Well, I’m back.”