#FUCK man-things! all my homies HATE man-things!

[nerdcrawfish]

Jumping off Shibara. (Also in writing this I'm going to be hounding women in the first part SOLELY because I'm writing from the predominate western society/US idea that there are two genders and that anything not man equals women. Which I don't agree with at all. I'm analyzing them, not condoning them.)

No, you can clearly tell with things like the "new" trilogy of Star Wars or Supernatural that this phenomenon is a thing with some male writers. The idea of non-males being in "nerdy" areas is uncomfortable for them because of numerous reasons. One, it stops just being "their" thing. Female fans especially are seen as lesser/"fans of poor quality materials". AND then the classic: "I don't know how to see women/non-men as equal human beings because I (imparted by society) have this idealized idea of women and them being in my nerdy stuff does NOT align with my mental schemata at all!" Ever played MTG as a non-male at a card shop? Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.

In general, there is discomfort at so many levels from not matching in schemata, to what defines women, to the idea that we're intruding in "their space", the idea of "biology", to even the idea that they have to act, write, and do things different because a women is around.

There's a shitton of baggage in society about women and non-males in nerdy spaces. It's waaayyy better now, but it still happens A LOT. It still is prevalent and it WILL be getting worse now that Diet Sunkist is in back in office and all the waves of social conservatism is going to be re-surging JUST like you got locked in an overflowing porta-potty and some asshole just ran into it with their double wide Texas Made Ford truck.

(Oh and I can and happily talk about the overlap of neo-nazism and online queer spaces and this need for conservatism and how that keeps translating over to over policing and fandom hate of queer stories in a moment). And yes a lot of authors hate our existence in "their" spaces just as much as their nerdy fanboys do.

Furman will ALWAYS be the classic example because he constantly refuses to allow the idea of female transformers. This is because he sees war fighting robots as only male. This harks back to the fact that the conversation of whether women can fight has it's root so far back in history, especially white history, because women are seen only as a resource to be kept and protected. (Hence the overturning of Roe V Wade and that awful man's "You don't have a choice!" video) And even if he keeps saying he sees them as nonbinary he is using male oriented schemata in his writing--he's using hegemonic markers of masculinity in his writing and the making of his Transformer Characters. He writes them so overwhelmingly male that you and I know--based on so many context clues and tells--that Optimus Prime is male. I very much doubt Furman does see them as non-binary (especially because I doubt he has any actual understanding of what that would even mean) and is instead trying to stay above fandom ire.

So Furman--overwhelmingly yes. He hates women being in his nerdy robot stuff. He loves our money and attention but just like Picasso, we're nothing more than some pretty fancy furniture that is pretty one moment and beyond infuriating the next with our "needs" and "equality".

BUT you're going to look me in the fucking eye and tell me ROBERTS is the same as Furman? HA.

No, MTMTE/LL is a fucking LOVE LETTER to the transformers community. He pointed at us--ALL OF US--and said: "This one goes out for my homies!"

But just like we talked about entitlement of authors? Oh there is a definite entitlement when it comes to fans, too. It was pungent as HELL when MTMTE/LL was running and it was why I always stayed off of social media and had so many people blocked. Like Shibara says: just because they wrote something that you don't like doesn't mean it's bad writing. IT ALSO doesn't mean it's an attack on you.

AND I will say that censorship/Neo-nazisim is RANK in this ideology. It festers uncontrollably in this shit swamp of a psychological lens. The ideology that someone is bad/attacking you because of what they write/create is based on two things: you belief in your superiority AND that it means that you thus get to dictate others around you. This ideology, however, gives little young knuckleheads the idea that they're the good guys and that there are bad guys that need to be hurt based on shit like a book. This is why censorship has, and always will (pick up any fucking history book please), lead to people dying.

It also has permeated its way into queer spaces online. It's a fucking fact. Look at the rates of young Polish voters--who in the same breath support queer rights but at the same time believe anyone who isn't "the right type of polish" (white) needs to be removed from the country. The day that Republicans realize if they accept queer rights that they will be able to win all the races and reinstall Jim Crow laws to the fucking max in the US is one I dread immensely. You can try to argue with me, sure, but it's one I've been tracking as a child and is why we are seeing so much support for nativist/neo-nazi groups across the Western Globe. Like, do we not recall the party gymnastics France had to do a little bit ago to avoid the hella RACIST National Party from getting so much leverage? Anyways, I digress.

Roberts wrote a piece of work that acknowledged the fact (like most of the IDW 2005 run did) that we are adults. Not like the stuff Hasbro always like to run--which is just some moving forms to elicit mediocre bonding in the wish to sell cheap pieces of plastic to little kids (which hey man, you do you). (Okayy, so I'm thinking more of the general we have to keep rebooting our lines every other week and that when it starts getting serious/the writers are flourishing, oh surprise! we're getting cut short!)

No, we're talking more like the TF Marvel Comics (oh yeah baby) especially the UK side of the house--this media was always for the more mature sets of the demographic/fans. More of your older kind of teen boy--but there's a huge difference in that from say rescue Bots (which cute but doesn't have the je ne sais quoi (<--sarcastic usage) of let's say the idea of Spiderman being disgusted with Ratchet because Ratchet didn't cry over his friends being torn apart. This requires a difference of thinking and isn't a stereotypical "good ending". It's meant to invoke a sense of defeat and that shitty feeling of being misunderstood. Like we KNOW Ratchet is a great guy and that his buddies are fine because he's a medic and will just fix them up. BUT Spiderman, another fantastic guy, isn't aware of that and hates Ratchet nonetheless! It's meant to make you not feel good but provides a delicious depth of things like perceptions and not taking time to actually connect with and understand others.

So Roberts was writing not to the original demographic of the G1 Cartoon but to those us who grew up with it. To the ones of us who grew up reading and watching the original runs of so much Transformers material. And, brilliantly, I would add, acknowledged the fact that a lot of fandoms are indeed filled with, like said before, 20+ women.

He wrote MTMTE/LL with the target demographic of adults. Now, we usually associate that with age but in my time in college, working part-time and being amongst y'all--I've learned that you can be 67 and still be an immature stupid piece of shit who got their High School degree as a participation award.

Knowing that, I am arguing he put in a BIG FUCKING NOTICE that "Hey, this isn't G1 cartoon transformers! If you're here for that TURN BACK" with the fact that Ratchet is introduced literally doing an autopsy. And in order to do an autopsy--someone needs to be dead. Whirl is desecrating fucking corpses. And by the end, 40 plus bots are falling like meteors burning up in the fucking atmosphere of a planet. Oh and the entire playback message of: "Oh my primus everything is horrible and terrible-- we fucked up--STOP THE LAUNCH"

Roberts explicitly--so fucking explicitly that even if you have the reading comprehension of a peanut--you would understand just from Issue 1 that bots were going to die, the story is going to be dark, and be just how like my life motto goes: "Life is short, painful and shitty and those who don't deserve to suffer or die always end up doing just that. So let's fucking go." (said with a morbid sense of optimism! :D )

He wrote for us, as adults. And as an adult, he talked to us as an adult. He broached topics that hurt--a lot. And he was happy to see when we hurt because that meant he did his fucking job well.

Every time you feel nothing about a death in a story--that means the writer fucking sucked. Every time I write a fanfic and I have people screaming in my comments--it gives me delight BECAUSE that means I successfully got you to connect. I gave you all the right tells, I used the right structure, I used the right language and every FUCKING THING in my arsenal as a writer to share the beautiful pain that I went through in thinking up this story.

Just like he was, I'm beyond delighted because we're essentially bonding. I'm sharing my brain's secretions that have both delighted and tormented me for months going on years with you and you're feeling the same things. You're fucking feeling. My story isn't just some shitty words on a page--no it's a fucking story.

Roberts told us a story. He sat us down and told us a story. As equals.

And the reason why AI will fucking NEVER live up to actual living creators is because it doesn't have anything to give. It doesn't have any ability to connect.

Furman sucks as a writer for us because he refuses to connect to us if we're not like him.

Roberts has and always will respect every single one of us and has always been a fan--just like us.

[the-arteest]

hi :)

retaliation >:∆c

OH MY GGOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD HIM HIM HIM IT'S HIM IT'S THE GUY IT'S HIM IT'S MY GUY IT'S MY BOY IT'S MY LITTLE GUY IT'S HIM IT'S HIM IT'HS IHIM ITS' HIM IT'S HIM IT'HS IGIM GYAJEUYAEJGYAUYTGAUGAGTYGA THANK YOU I LOVE IT SO MUCH ONGJAERGYEUTG OG MY OD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY OGD OGH MY OGD EWEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHILUTHGALIUTILAUHTEILUETH

[shizunitis]

how fucked up would it be if shen yuan transmigrated into shen qingqiu because bing-ge had an errant thought of ‘i wish he was kind to me’ in the woodshed literally nanoseconds before the switch?

the system couldn’t figure out how to give shen yuan to bing-ge, or it simply didn’t care enough to figure out the logistics of setting up such a divergence. as long as the possibility was explored in an alternate simulation-type setting, it would be satisfied.

he inadvertently created a better life for himself, but not one he’d ever get to live.

[what-shitfuckery-is-this-ew]

FUCK YOU INTERNET FOR MAKING ME THINK ASSAD ZAMAN WAS PAKISTANI. FUCK AI BEING USED FOR ARTICLES.

I LITERALLY LOOKED AT HIM AND SAID THAT'S A BENGALI MAN. HIM WITH A BEARD IS LITERALLY MY (RELATED) UNCLE

BUT WHEN I SEARCHED IT UP EVERYTHING SAID PAKISTANI AND I WAS GOBSMACKED, BUT I ACCEPTED IT

AND NOW I FIND OUT HE IS BENGALI

THE SHEER MISINFORMATION CAUSE OF AI ISTG

[swedenis-h]

Sofia & Katya breaking up..?? 😨😨

Inspo (X)

[your-fav-hates-jimmy]

meeky

Mickey Mouse HATES Jimmy !

[the-derpy-duck]

Orko not needing to be “useful” to be loved and valued is a thing that I think about often.

My knowledge of He Man is very limited and I only really watched any of the shows for Orko. But like he used to be really great at magic but because of circumstances that were mostly out of his control he can’t really do magic anymore. His abilities are severely stunted for basically his entire time on Eternia. He saves Adam and that wins him favor with the king and queen and he gets to be a court jester. He tries to use magic to do his job and he fails a lot. When he messes up he always works to fix his mistakes and he wants to help. He’s doing his best and the people around him love him for who he is.

He-Man was made and aired during the 1980s. The Cold War had begun to sort of wind down (as in the hostility between the USA and USSR) before this point because Carter (who was president from 1976 to 1980) was actively worked to be less involved in conflicts. Dumbasses who say trump was the first president to not have the USA participate in war during his presidency either ignore or are unaware of Carter until they need to bring up the Iran Hostage Crisis. Reagan, who proceeded Carter, immediately started working on undoing everything Carter worked to do. He removed solar panels from the White House that Jimmy Carter installed and also made the AIDs Crisis a lot worse than it needed to be (Jimmy lead the eradication effort of guinea worm because he saw a woman suffering and decided to do something about it). Regan also deregulated some aspects of the TV industry which allowed for the 30 minute toy commercials that started many beloved franchise. The Regan administration sort of revived the Cold War. Although the red scare had already happened and communists weren’t well liked during Carter’s presidency tensions were still dying down. But when He-Man was airing tensions had begun to rise again.

I don’t know how long production for He-Man was but if it was less than three years than it is safe to say that the writers were at least aware of the political climate. He-Man is not political commentary. Although cartoons at the time definitely did reflect current issues and some of those issue would be political (such as The Transformers clearly commenting on the energy crisis and also just in general being pretty anti war), He-Man and all of these other shows existed to sell toys to children. That is why a good portion of children’s entertainment exists. The capitalist society we live in requires everything to make money, I promise you this will be important in just a second. But the historical context for He-Man was that the Cold War was getting warmer. So the Capitalist v Communist narrative had started up again. I need you to keep this idea in mind or at least entertain it: Orko is, in one way or another, disabled or able to represent disability. He needs to use magic in his everyday life and he now has a significantly harder time using magic. His entire life and world was magic and his role, both on Trolla and on Eternia, requires him to use magic. And because he looses his magic wand he also looses the ability to preform magic at the capacity that he used to. And I know it would be easier for him to preform magic on Trolla but he’s not on Trolla for most of the show so that’s kind of irrelevant. What’s relevant is that he is a magician, he performs magic on Trolla and on Enternia and he is now less able to do his job on Enternia, and he sort of can’t go back to Trolla. Please keep this idea in mind.

We live in a capitalistic society that demands everyone to contribute and if you can’t contribute then you die. Systems exist to help people who are unable to work. I don’t know a lot about those systems and from what little I understand they aren’t that good. Because the foundations of our society relies on people believing that they need to be “useful” to be “valuable” or just worthy of living and not starving on the streets I’ve found that it leads to attitudes that people who can’t work are leaching off of others. However time stops for no one and eventually your body will start to deteriorate and you won’t be as capable of working or preforming tasks as before. And that’s fine. We are valuable because we exist and we are people. No one needs to prove that they are a person and no one has to earn the right to exist and be happy. That is a person’s birth right. I think our society’s obsession with working is partly why aging is seen as negative. Another reason is definitely that death is scary and not being able to do everything you used to isn’t great but part of that being seen as not great isn’t just not being able to do certain things you liked to do (like running or playing a sport) but rather because you can’t contribute as much/work as much as before.

And there’s other factors to this besides capitalism but ultimately it’s the foundation of our modern world and getting rid of it wouldn’t solve everything as the other issues would still exist but it would make things better. Capitalism leads us to be more individualistic and cruel. If you ask most people “hey should our neighbor Bob die because he can’t afford healthcare or his medication” they will say no, but they will also say no to universal healthcare because taxes will increase. Money is absolutely useless. It has no value. Gold is pretty, but ultimately a weak (and also heavy) metal. Money is only valuable because we think it is and gold is/was so valuable because we said it was and because we think it’s pretty (it is). If the world was to collapse tomorrow and everything shut down (like nuclear fallout or a zombie apocalypse), money would be worthless. You can’t eat it, it won’t build you a shelter, it cannot heal you, it cannot protect you. At some point we decided that a piece of paper was more valuable and important than actual human lives.

I’m under no delusion that I am the first person to realize this or that this is a new thing. By ‘we’ I mean humans in general but also at some point every person decides when they are willing to sacrifice the lives and wellbeing of others for their financial gain. And that’s not an entirely bad thing. I believe that being “selfish” is, to an extent, good. This guy named Maslow came up with a hierarchy of needs. It’s not perfect and some levels can be fulfilled before others can but the basic idea is that certain needs must be fulfilled and satisfied before others can be. You can’t be in a relationship or employed if you can’t breath. You MUST look out for yourself and keep yourself alive before you can help others. You need to put on your air mask before attempting to assist others. And if or not that should be considered “selfish” is arguable. Humans are social creatures, so it is generally frowned upon to not look out for others. We would not be where we are today as a species if we followed an “Everyman for themselves” type of philosophy. But capitalism demands that we do. But even without capitalism you still need to be a little selfish to survive. And at some point being unselfish becomes selfish when you are in charge of the care of others. If a person has kids then they must provide and care for those kids and so they would have the interest of their family unit in the forefront of their mind. And it would be fucking insane if they didn’t and if someone looked down on them for that. Drowning yourself won’t help others who are drowning.

We are expected to contribute and to view people who don’t contribute as less than. Orko as a character stands in direct opposition to this idea. He isn’t seen as inherently less than because he isn’t as good at performing magic as he was before. He does his best at his job and he is still treated as a person despite him not being a great magician. He doesn’t need to be great, or good, or even ok at magic because he is good enough. He is a person and that is enough. He tries everyday and that is enough. He is kind and trusting and a little guy and that is enough. Orko is enough and he will always be enough. He isn’t a failure and he is not treated as such. He might be insecure at times but that’s just a part of being alive. He makes mistakes and messes up and can be annoying (to some people) sometimes but that doesn’t make him less worthy of anything. It doesn’t make him less of person. People, disabled or not, do not “loose value” because they are “annoying” or because they make a mistake. Placing superhuman expectations on humans is inherently unfair. You cannot expect (yourself, your neighbors, your family, random people on the street) to be perfect. Humans are flawed and we will all make mistakes. We are all going to age and we will die at some point and that’s ok. If everyone will eventually end up dead then we should spend the time we have being compassionate towards each other. There’s limits of course, and people don’t need to be happy or nice all of the time but I think avoiding being overtly cruel is a good thing.

Orko doesn’t need to be “fixed”. He is loved as he is and the people around him don’t force him to be a thing that he is not. He is loved, and I know I keep saying that but it’s really important to me. He’s silly. He’s an inherently goofy character and he’s a character that means a lot to me personally. I really like him. I like that the people around him love him and care about him. He’s not perfect. He’s a very flawed character but he ultimately wants to do good and be good. He’s not perfect and he never needed to be perfect. He is treated as equal by the people around him and he is treated like a person. Yeah the bar is in hell but a lot of people think that the bar is just a little bit too high for them. Even if Orko isn’t disabled, him not needing to prove that he deserves love is very important to me. He can just be a person who is flawed and just kind of normal.

I know he’s just a silly little guy. I know whoever was writing the he-man episodes wasn’t thinking about this. Or maybe they were, I was actually lying about knowing. But they probably weren’t. He’s a goofy guy. His goofiness and the thoughts I have about him are why I love him so much. And it’s mostly the silliness, but my thoughts are all that I have and they are what makes me myself.

Anyway live laugh love Orko

[tubbytarchia]

doesnt fit whatsoever but ash jimmy may ruin my life forever

Yeah it absolutely does not fit. Ash and Jimmy might have a few similarities in my head but mostly they are polar opposites. No amount of bending of traffic characters is going to make them work in Banana Fish's roles but those specific scenes and themes... everywhere I look I see him...

[chaoticmannamedoliver]

Finally managed to do this. I HAD to go to the web so i could do it. Im incredibly upset about this. I hate AI. Art is a luxury because a human made it - put love and effort into it. Using our things without permission or knowledge is just cruel. Im not too up to date on everything, sure. but im still upset.

I'd like to compare it to high-quality brand name stuff that love and time and thought went into and bootleg knockoffs. Money making. Not a single care but money and hell - even hurting whoever made it originally.

AI wouldn't have anything to work with without us. We are important. What if we all just stop making art? Abandoned this site? What will you feed your cursed algorithm then? Will you actually make art yourself? Oh, look at that. You didn't need AI and just learned it.

I hate AI. with a deep, deep passion.

Is 2 am so it won't make much sense, so tldr; i fucking hate AI And wish it would burn in hell.

[headvampd]

The reason i really hate Rien is because there was no justifiable reason, good or otherwise for what they did. I didn't feel bad for her when Shugen destroyed her husband's sarcophagus because frankly, to me, she didn't deserve sympathy and I'm surprised Gabi could milk some out for her.

Her husband wasn't taken away from her early, he wasn't murdered and he didn't succumb to illness, he grew old and died like a normal human being, they had spent years together and yet because she had tapped into a form of permanent youth, she couldn't let him go and it made her ruin lives.

She could've had a family in Mei and the Lord Tensen, a family that would've supported and loved her properly through her grief but no she exiles Mei cause she doesnt agree with her and uses the Lord Tensen as tools to achieve her own ends.

I remember reading the final chapters and thinking "so you did all this for what? You created monsters for what?" Because the why? didn't make any sense to me whatsoever.

Now im not blaming her for feeling grief, its natural and its a very strong, powerful emotion but how she dealt with it is something i can never forgive her for.

[marypsue]

For argyle, I can’t say much but I will say my dad is Chicano and grew up in LA area and he appreciated the Cheech and Chong references ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ IMO, I feel like his character was exciting in that it was a chance to give the Byers some interesting development, especially Jonathan, but in reality he was more an excuse for weed jokes. I also feel like sometimes the fandom in more excited to show that they can like a brown man actually, than actually giving his character depth (necessary caveat this may just be the corners in lurking on). He mainly exist for car and pizza plot points, and also deus ex machina moments where the writers clearly decided if a high person has an epiphany that coincidentally solves everything, it doesn’t count because they’re high and it’s humorous.

Apologies if you could hear me rolling my eyes over that last point from all the way over here. Everything I hear makes me more and more convinced that I made the right call dipping halfway through this last season. This show is very much no longer being made with me in the intended target audience.

(To be fair, this tendency toward stock comedic characters with cardboard personalities started with Murray back in season two, and just got fucking egregious when they decided he should be a main cast member and an important load-bearing plot element. I cannot stand the man. And yeah, season one had its share of dopey deus ex (Jonathan, why are you taking pictures in the woods in the middle of the night?), but usually it was to get the characters into Situations, not out of them.)

Like I do think it's important to be able to draw that distinction between 'this is what the author/showrunners/writers/story actually did, in our real world, where this is a fictional story that someone had to make all the choices about' and 'this is how I could explain this within the context of the story, as though it were a Thing That Happened and the people it happened to were real, and no deliberate, conscious choices shaped those facts'.

Maybe it really is just that I'm not the target audience here. Or maybe I just don't appreciate weed jokes. But it seems pretty clear to me that nobody on the writing team put in the time or the thought to give that actor much more to work with other than 'weed joke'. (Most likely because they didn't have the time to put in the thought. Or, possibly, that there was no one left on the writing team with the perspective to do so. Minirooms are bad, 'auteur theory' is bad, support the WGA.)

But I know fandom can Do Things with characters whose writers Didn't. I've done it myself! In this case, though, I can't get past how much he annoys me. Which is rough, because I agree with your point - having him there opens up a lot of really interesting possibilities for development for the Byers! It could have been really good! I just can't get there on my own. And I'm hoping somebody has the hookup for the good stuff, so that I don't have to try to sort through a lot of fics and headcanons about a character I am already irritated by for Meta Reasons, without a trusty guide.

[crypt1dcorv1dae]

raven's real name is literally just raven she doesnt have a secret identity she is literally JUST RAVEN. raven is literally also a NORMAL HUMAN NAME. LOTS OF PEOPLE HAVE THIS NAME.

YOU DONT HAVE TO GIVE HER A BORING WHITE GIRL NAME. GOD.

[royalphantompain]

I've been playing more Splatoon 3 recently <:

[featherymainffins]

I think I have just learned that many people don't like Mel. I am the first to admit my opinion on her is neutral leaning positive. I would, however, kill Jayce with a thousand hammers. And then I'd resurrect him to kill him with even more hammers.

[cupidkenji]

If you think I'm pretty

Now playing: if u think i'm pretty - Artemas won't you give that shit a rest? Pairing: Homelander x afab!reader CW: fingering, praise, slightly OOC homie, threats of captivity (he says hes gonna keep reader in the penthouse that's it I promise it's not genuine), cursing, sub!reader, porn without plot (I think this is applicable), they're in a relationship before this, reader says 'John' cause moaning homelander is funny as fuck Summary: Being a perfectionist, you're unsatisfied with a recent test score. Homelander has a cure for that. Disclaimer: reader is always thought to be chubby/fat but there are no physical descriptors here, just an FYI WC: 1,955 Genuinely idk I'd like to apologize for this. I fell out of my Criminal Minds hyperfixation like months ago and haven't written since so I'm really rusty. This is 100% a self-insert but reader is gn and not described other than the fact that they're AFAB. Also this was only proof read once so please point out typos if you see them <3

Your mother used to scold you for being too hard on yourself. Her face is virtually the only thing you can picture as your screen burns your eyes a bit. It’s too early for the high brightness of the device, having woken up before the sun could reintroduce your eyes to light. You’d set yourself up to wake slightly after midnight, intending to check the score of a huge test you’d taken months ago and simply go back to sleep in a matter of minutes. A rather stupid plan, in hindsight. You were questioning now if you knew yourself at all. Your phone had nearly been in your hand when you felt the cold burn of anxiety in your lungs. This test was a huge fucking deal. You were a hardcore perfectionist on top of that, trying with countless futile attempts to surrender your idea of the model score. You just needed to pass, not get your professor to memorialize you in marble for your pure genius. You’d gotten up instead of turning on your phone, brushing your teeth and making your bed before pacing the room slightly while you thought. Essentially, you were just allowing the mantra of ‘cope’ to bound back and forth between your ears for a couple minutes. You weren’t sure if you wanted to cope with the disappointment of a lesser score, or you were telling yourself to come down a couple pegs and be happy with getting by. The repetition of the word soothed that icy-hot feeling that had festered from your lungs to your fingertips, and you checked.

You were fine. Not the score you wanted, but you were fine. 

Mentally you writhed against the slump of your shoulders, but the weight of this self-inflicted shortcoming hit harder than you were capable of defending yourself from. The long sigh you let out was all frost as the tension left your airways. How underwhelming. You laid down on the bed you’d made not ten minutes ago, hearing the window slide open a few seconds into your pity party. You normally left it unlocked for him, knowing if anyone else attempted to enter your home, he wasn’t far. He told you himself that he seemed to have tuned into you specifically; swearing he’d be able to hear you on the other side of the city if you needed him.

“It’s way too early for you to already be having a bad day. The sun’s not even up.” He was closer now, fully sealed into your space and approaching you with comfortable footsteps. You never fully got over the irony of seeing America’s greatest hero flying through your window in sweatpants. “What’s wrong?” You always noticed the subtle way he changed how he spoke around you. In every interview or interaction you’d ever witnessed of his, he’d spoken like a character. For a man who hated having his words scripted, he spoke the same as every cookie-cutter movie he’d starred in. He didn’t talk that way with you, something you hoped was subconscious. A demonstration of the safety he felt around you.

You shrugged in response to the question. You acknowledged the trivial nature of your feelings, knowing you probably reeked of sadness to him but attempting to downplay it anyways. “Bad test score.”

He sat down next to you on the edge of the bed, allowing you the space to remain sprawled out. “Doubtful.” He laughed slightly as he said it, shaking his head and smiling. He looked at you, his eyebrows furrowing minorly. “What’d you get?”

“A four.”

“What were you hoping to get?”

Your voice was barely audible as you spoke, knowing he would pick it up but also trying to spare yourself the rush of immaturity hearing yourself speak would bring. “A five.”

He sighed - a sigh full of endearment that his eyes reflected as he looked at you. You told him once that his eyes were the first thing you’d noticed. It was sunny the day you’d met, and they looked practically ethereal. You’d seen such chaos reflected in them even from day one. The masses called him ‘soulless’ often, but you couldn’t understand such an accusation from anyone who had ever seen him. His eyes were practically overflowing with soul, every time you looked at him it was all you saw. They were capable of incredibly dangerous things but they were so entrancing. He was so fucking enticing. 

You broke the eye contact, but he nudged your leg and moved his head to try and follow your eyes. “Hey-” He called for your attention, so you looked back at him. “You know that’s a good score, right?”

You smiled small at him. “No- I know. I’m just…I don’t know- strict with myself.” You found it hard to put into words. You knew you’d done well, but the ability to feel pride felt withheld from you. Like your eyes bore into it but your mind refused to distribute the feeling it brought to something tangible.

“I think you’re just too much of a fucking perfectionist.” His hand was splayed across your upper thigh from where he sat. No matter which part of you he touched, he had a grip that made your head spin. He was so sure of himself, the strength demonstrated from such an unassuming form never lost the novelty that it’d held when you met him. “Can’t let yourself admit when you did good.”

You tried to be dismissive, but it was hard to fake anything with a man like him. “As if you aren’t, John.” His jaw got the slightest bit tighter at the use of his name. Such a miniscule action that easily dodges the eyes of people who aren’t looking. You couldn’t really imagine not looking at him.

“I’m serious.” His face was still relaxed, but the expression in his eyes had shifted. His pupils dilated and his full attention was on you. “You did good.”

The only con of being with somebody with abilities such as his was the lack of secrecy. You used to laugh with your friends about how grateful you were for the discrete nature of arousal when living without certain body parts. That went out the window when you started seeing him. He knew the second anything shifted within you. He had every perversion you’d ever dreamt about practically categorized by the time your two month anniversary had rolled around. One of his favorite pastimes was casually working a turn-on into conversation and just watching you squirm.

You fought the urge to pull away from his hand, feeling your stomach drop slightly at a declaration like that. “Thank you.” You looked away from him again. Something you knew he didn’t really like but choosing to try and save face over anything else. 

“Yeah…I don’t know.” You could see his focus on the topic increasing by the second. His disposition was happy, but he held serious and almost threatening undertones. He tightened his grip on your thigh and you looked at back to him, hesitantly following the silent command to keep your eyes up. “I think you should say it.”

“John-” His assertiveness was starting to get to you, it always did. You sat up on your forearms to be a little more level with him but he moved his hand from your thigh to your stomach and pushed you back down. The thought of having to lay there and explicitly state that you did well on your test felt like a kid having to write in repetition on a chalkboard in detention. 

He was looking down at you, the eye contact making you slightly dizzy. His face was kind, it almost always was when he was around you, but the conversation was derailing. “I just think it’s important that you understand this.” He was so good at making you want what he thought was best.

You inhaled, swallowing your pride and licking your lips. “What do you want me to say?”

That familiar, condescending smile was starting to creep onto his lips. “Just tell the truth.” His eyebrows raised slightly in a silent prompt. “Say you did good.”

His hand was descending from your stomach, making it’s way to the hemline of your underwear. You hadn’t bothered to change out of what you were sleeping in, only now realizing the vulnerability of it. You held your tongue for a moment, breathing out a quiet “I did good.” 

He tore the only fabric between his hand and you off your body as easily as ripping a sheet of paper and leaned in a little more. “Say it again.”

“John-” You said it as barely an exhale as he skimmed his hand over you. You hadn’t even registered just how sensitive or how wet you’d gotten in the few minutes you were talking to him.

“I don’t know why you act so fucking noble. You should be running Ashleys around in circles or giving interns your coffee order. Not any of this testing bullshit that you’re too good for anyway.” His tone elevated to that mocking, cocky tone that swept into the most shame filled crevices of your mind and tugged the most deprived parts into the driver seat. He thumbed at your clit while he spoke, increasing and decreasing the pressure whenever he felt like it and effectively snatching any remaining ability to form coherent thought from your grabbing hands. “You’ve been chosen by a God, honey. You can do anything, I can give you anything.” He got breathier as he spoke, seemingly soaking up the desperation you were excreting and matching it in a tenfold.

You felt two of his fingers enter you effortlessly and you couldn’t stop yourself from gripping his arm. You always felt the power imbalance most in times like these. A feeling like pulling an angel away from heaven just for yourself, combing through it’s wings with your fingers or trying to lap up a fraction of that status in a wildly inappropriate disregard for the natural roles of nature. He was so much more than you, but he just wanted you to feel good. You swore under your breath as he started circles on your clit. He never got hand cramps, never got tired. He would go until you couldn’t anymore.

“That’s it.” He had barely said it, more just exhaled the assurance under his breath. You were close, you’re sure he could feel it. “Gonna move you to my penthouse. Keep you braindead and needy.”

 It shouldn’t have hit you the way it did. Considering who he was, he could easily fulfill that promise with nobody at Vought even thinking twice. It was the way he said it, the way he acts. Always needing control and always right. The most powerful man alive spent his time fantasizing about control over you, and your stomach twisted in disgust at how badly it got you off.

He slowed his movements as your high declined. He was breathing heavy, but your heart was beating like a drum. He had the smallest smile on his face like the sound gave him a sense of satisfaction. You rose to your forearms, this time with no protest from him, and watched him stand up. He held the back of your head with the hand that wasn’t nearly dripping and kissed the top of your head. It was chaste and quick, but the domesticity of it made your throat ache. He uttered something about getting a towel to clean up, stating he’d be right back before exiting the room. 

You rushed the words out before he could leave. “But you didn’t-”

“Next time.” He just waved you off. “I just thought you deserved a little reward.”

[c0ffinshit]

Simon (John Q.) SFW AND NSFW Headcanons

a/n: i knew yall would like that so here are so hcs that i had that i can now share with the world

warnings: controversial, mentions of pussy eating, me speaking my truth

SFW:

okay, first off, this man claims to HATE modern music but… he has a soft spot for Fiona Apple

listen, this man is madddd and if he were a woman he would be a mean butch lesbian

he always drives you everywhere

even when you’re like “babe i can drive its fine” he’s like “no, i’ll drive”

he tells people his favorite movie is something film bro-y like fight club, but his favorite movie is something like little shop of horrors or when harry met sally

sorry im projecting

honestly, he is bad about talking about his emotions like homie doesn't have the words for it so he just gets angry

BUT he learns a lot from you about that

actually, you learn a lot from him too

he talks so highly of you, even before dating

like always talks about how he can hardly have a good and controlled day without you

if you two are a long distance away, he'll always call you and talk about your day

but even then, you two will stay on the phone for hours, just talking about whatever and how much you miss each other

always tries to be a sweet boyfriend and make you breakfast

expect he will burn it and the kitchen will be on fire

i will say this: simon is a sensitive boy, esp with people's emotions like if you're sad and crying about something you called 'stupid' he'll still hold you and tell you how not stupid it is

he HATES when you're upset, esp if he can't do anything to help you

he'll just sadly watch you til you feel better

and when you do, he'll get you your favorite blanket and stuffed animals and kiss you like the good bf. HE. IS.

sorry, my daddy issues are on full display *sobs*

definitely doesn't like it when you call him babygirl or pookie

even as a joke

the man doesn't get that

my man has an old soul IM SO FR

like he doesn’t really like modern TV or music

movies… that a different story

HE FUCKING LOVES MOVIES.

especially if it is like a movie musical or high fantasy (like lotr or hobbit)

maybe a comedy but like a comedy from like the '60s that is probably super offensive now

nfsw under the cut

NSFW:

first off, do i agree with the top allegations for simon? kinda.

listen listen, i only say kinda because of the fact that this man has angry ISSUES

like if you are being a brat, this man doesn’t hold back definitely into spanking for this reason

OKAY I HAVE A THING… when you two do it together, he is very… parental (if that makes sense)

like yes he is daddy we know but like he is the type to whisper “this is for your own good” as he spanks you

two words: BODY. WORSHIP.

this man will kiss and touch your body like it's your last day on earth

AUGH AND AND the look he gives you when he’s inside you FUCKKKKKKK

the look is filled with so much love and gratitude for you okay like this needs to be stated at all but like 8 inches

the type of 8 inches that hits against your cervix in the right way

AND ANOTHER THING when you two first get together, his libido is very low

which also means he is very easy to take care of

soooooo if you wanted to just do a blowjob, you hypothetically could

but then, like three or four months into dating, HORN DOG.

you're surpised when he isn't pressing against your while cuddling

but if anything, you’ll be the one getting head, not him

THIS MAN IS PUSSY WHIPPED.

like he will grab your thighs and pull you closer while eating you out he lovesssss hearing your moans when you're under him UGH

dude but like on the rare time like he will bottom, its lowkey kinda…

JOHN Q IS A SWITCH AND I WILL CONTINUE TO SPEAK MY TRUTH

this mfer groans like no tomorrow when he does bottom

soft,,,, begg…ing

like “you’re so good.” and then under his breath its “please keep going.”

also that boy has a praise kink with hints of degradation

am i saying that because i wrote a whole fic about it? yes. fuck yes.

im chewing at the bars of my enclosure

he gets so blushy when you look at him with your fuck-me eyes

COMMUNICATE WITH THAT BOY.

tell him what you want

tell him where you want it

tell him about your fantasies of him

he loves hearing your voice, especially when you talk in a soft and seductive voice

listen, the only reason i kinda don’t agree with the top allegations is because i believe JOHN Q IS A SERVICE TOP.

i've made my point very clear about that throughout this section