#FUCK THE MIDWEST IM SERIOUS

[1mlostnow]

BE SO FUCKING SERIOUS????

For my Celsius people THATS FUCKING 35.5

[emblazons]

If dating midwestern boy taught me anything it’s that 1) I am way more like Tashi Duncan than I thought and 2) know exactly why she married Art and told Patrick to fuck off as an adult (and kinda even when she was in college) despite being willing to fuck him ☠️

[hballegro]

taking a court-mandated break from drawing sweaty army doctors today. will i hold to this? jury is still out. trapper or hawkeye is prolly next tho.

i must remember to make trapper toned and i must remember hawkeye has a high waist. these are vital

also if anyone has any ideas ur more than welcome to toss em in, esp for like. radar, charles, potter

[ribcagewolf]

if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more (home, like noplace is there 2014 studio album by american emo band the hotelier)

[aropride]

mutual 1: just got engaged lol <3 #slash serious

mutual 2: i know its been 3 years but i cant stop thinking about bloingo's arc in season 2 :(( my baby my baby youre my baby say it to me

mutual 3: This world is sweriously so fucking beautiful #Just had a snickers bar. effervescent

mutual 4: https://open.spotify.com/track/2P5yIMu2DNeMXTyOANKS6k #yeah...

mutual 5: [gerard way image] #i miss her thighs i mean her music

mutual 6: [this post contains filtered content: blood, gore, guts, wound, nsfw]

mutual 7: if bloingo was a deer he would have chronic wasting disease

mutual 8: [responding to the most insane anon hate you've ever seen] they anon on my askbox til i block #fslur girl slay

mutual 9: Next person to Fuck with mutual 8 has To go through me..... I Will Protect You

mutual 10: get me OUT of the fucking midwest bro #CANNOT take it anymore im srsly at my limit

mutual 11: [poll] should i get boba [yes] / [no] / [button for me]

mutual 12: i think i have a disorder

mutual 13: [rapidly reblogging gerard way images from 2010 with 6 notes]

mutual 14: dude i just got hit by a fucking car im not even joking im waiting for my uber to the hospital rn i think my legs are broken why does god hate me

mutual 15: JUST GOT MY NEUROSCIENCE PHD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mutual 16: [this post contains filtered tags: #[fandom you hate but you love ur mutual so much anyway]]

mutual 17: [reblogging bloingo fanart at a rate previously thought physically impossible]

mutual 18: One of the guys in my head ate my fucking ham sandwich

[crushedsweets]

Any Jeff hcs?? (Your art is absolutely amazing)

i make him evil. ok jk but also im serious. im mostly just gonna cover his backstory in my au, rather than his current part in it.

cw for brief mentions of animal abuse, bullying, the usual. AGAIN THIS IS FOR MY AU !! also tysm :3..

liu is about 4-6 years older than jeff. they lived somewhere in the midwest until jeff was about 10.

they were both raised by incredibly good parents and had a very strong support system, always visiting their grandparents, big christmas every year, parents always go to open house/parent-teacher conferences, etc. tried getting their kids into sports, would go to every game, literally just the stereotypical great parent. not even a secret "ooo behind closed doors they r actually abusive...!" thing theyre literally just good.

jeff was always a bit more on the aggressive side, something they especially noticed when he was 5 and could not be left alone with a single fucking pet. he'd yank at and shake anything small enough to pick up, and punch and kick anything too big to pick up. every family pet was scared of him.

even at school, he was a bully - it started as typical grade school shit, putting gum in girls hairs, stealing peoples belongings, pushing kids off the play structures. he targeted girls especially. he's been warned, suspended, expelled - but his dad got a job offer in the east coast that they couldnt really ignore

he was 12 when he started harassing a girl, following her around the playground, calling her a slut, yanking her hair, spitting on her, etc - and eventually, her brother and his friends stepped in.

thiiis is where i wanted to put randy and his friends in. theyre older kids, around 14 and still more on the mean side, but they didn't just randomly target jeff for fun bc he's "the new kid". just like jeff harassed that girl, they began harassing him - but of course with the strength of 3 teenage boys, rather than an 12 yr old. liu would interfere when he could, but he was still a student and began working his first job by this point.

jeff got into physical fights with them for weeks, but he was quick to turn it into something bloody and brought a pocket knife. this time the fight occurred in front of jeffs house, when his parents were at work, and liu ended up running out to make them cut it out. he tried to grab the knife out of jeffs hands, he tried to stop his brother, but jeff was serious about what he wanted - and he wanted to fucking stab randy

so he did, right in the stomach. it was nothing fatal.

liu took the fall, being 16 and terrified of what could happen to jeff if he landed himself in juvenile hall - the other 3 boys were content with this, knowing it meant jeff really didn't have anyone to defend him by this point. thinking it would fuck with jeff even more . . BUT JEFFS A LITTLE SHIT he doesnt fucking careee . something about "i never asked him to take the blame that shits on him" or whatnot.

but obv once randy recovered fully it got worse. it went from schoolyard level harassment to borderline stalking, robbing him, holding him down so randy could fucking stomp on him, so on and so forth.

and eventually the bleach happened, and the fire happened, and it didn't really have anything special or involve a birthday party or whatever . it was just another insane fucking attack on jeff, although randy and them didn't exactly expect the fire to spread so fucking quickly - they just splashed some gas at his feet, threw a match, though it would scare him and maybe fuck up his pants. really did NOT think that shit through

jeff recovered in the hospital, and the trio decided to leave him alone. they were little shits who took it too far, but they werent trying to do all that. jeff didnt snitch, he didnt want them to get put away . he wanted to keep going, obviously

things settled down for a while. jeff was waiting and waiting and waiting. his parents were mortified, they rarely spoke to him now. required family dinners at the dining table turned to just his parents eating together, liu in juvie and jeff in his room. jeff began getting violent towards his parents as well, especially his mom - he started spiraling after the fire, especially since the trio weren't bothering him anymore and it was driving him nuts. he would do freaky shit, showing up at their houses now, shattering their windows, killing their pets. they'd come and beat his ass, and he'd do it again. nobody wanted to get their parents involved by this point, they all did too much shit - but jeff was getting UNBEARABLE

jeff eventually was around 15 or so, liu was out of juvie and 19 and in community college bc he couldnt get into any of the universities he was dreaming about.

liu wasnt nice to jeff anymore. he wasn't "hardened" by his experience in juvie or anything, but whatever he saw in jeff was NOT his little brother anymore - if jeff spoke to him, he'd ignore him. if jeff got too close, he'd shove him off. if jeff slapped their mother, liu would punch him.

liu thinks it was bound to happen. he misses his little brother, even when he was a mean little kid - but he always knew there was something realy, really fucking wrong with jeff, and when he woke up to jeff on top of him, stabbing into him , he knew it was inevitable.

liu survived, the only one in his family to do so. he wondered what he could've done to stop it, especially as other kids began showing up in the news. he wonders if he shouldve just let jeff go to juvie. he's kinda shocked at the fucked up ass police sketches that pop up, he didn't really remember seeing that damn smile when jeff was on him

jeff continues fucking shit up and is a piece of shit all around

this is already pretty long so if anyone wants a less "backstory" version of headcanons and more current stuff just lmk ;3

[raspberrysmoon]

tell me about your 5k golden treasure fic please 🥺

HELO ANON YES I WILL IMMSO SORRY IF YHIS IS HARD TO READ IM AT THE POUNT IN MY NIGHT WHERE MY HANDS DONT WORK !!!!! HERE IT IS !!! THE INFO!!!!

( @paranormaltheatrekid (oh fcku syd i just rememebred you dont like to be tagehd in non aks game stuff ia m so sorry) )

- so, mischa it is a fic!! its about two hatchetfield/starkid characters named eddie and charles. theyre gay 👍👍👍 (not canonically but. in my heart)

- its gonna be multichap? probably about 4-6 chapters by the end? probably about 7-11k words i hope but lets be honest. little lamb was supposed to be like a 3k word fic

- eddie has!!!!!! horses!!!!!!! oh how i love horsies. their names are tatiana and cheddar. tati is a full horse (5'6" at her shoulder) and cheddar is a pony! hes a little bastard boy <3 charles is not a fan of these horses. charles is scared of heights 👍

- they have sex befote they ever put a label on it. uhm. its not explicit (#asexual) but they DO and eddie actually was so drunk that he forgets abt it for a while. he does eventually figure his shit out but it takes a second <33

- the petname "treasure" DOES show up. i will die on this hill forever and ever. "good treasure" "my treasure" etc. you get the point

- eventually im going to get charles wine-drunk and im going to shove him face first into a crisis. a love crisis. this hasnt been written yet but i can see it in my brain

"oh, god. he's in love with eddie chiplucky. fucking hell.

calling it a crush is too juvenile, calling it love is too serious. he's out of words already. normally, he has a bigger vocabulary than this."

^ that kind of thing

- im basing eddies vocab and mannerisms after my dads side of the family. southern but we're in the midwest actually. hes southern but in the midwest actually. he says howdy and has that twang and i will DIE ON THIS HILL

- i am making charles immune compromised. argue with the wall. this bastard gets sick so fast. and probably also has huge dietary restrictions so try and help it. he gets sick several times in the fic

- oh yeah and the fic spans like six months of time. so. yeag. they have sex the first time like halfway thru. and the put a label on it like a week later. this part is the furthest i have written :]

- eddie gets a raise of about. 10k. by the end. he doesnt really make that much money guys. hes going crazy w this extra 10k a year he doesnt know whats happening

- neither do i. what the ehck am i saying anytmoer. is this ledgible?

[heygerald]

HEY G! IM SO EXCITED FOR THE NEW CHAPTER!!!! So a while ago you mentioned Tom was from the south and he covers up his accent but it still slips out sometimes. Can we see Parker’s reaction to the having a serious conversation and it just slips ?

I LOVE YOUR WORK!!!

Parker was drunk.

Really drunk.

The kind of drunk that had the ceiling spinning on an axis above her, and the floor feeling colder than the Artic, and as she pressed her face into the wood of Tom's living room, she half-suspected that the world could end around her without her even noticing.

Shoes clomped closer; sneakers on freshly cleaned wood, and as a shadow cast over her, Parker peeked one eye open to find Tom staring down at her.

Unimpressed. But handsome, too.

So, so handsome.

"Told you those last shots were a bad idea," he said, sitting down beside her, and scooping her face off the ground so that it was resting against the scruff of his denim jeans.

"Hm," she said, not quite being able to say anything else, but also knowing that those last shots were a bad idea. Something was floating in her throat right now, and if she wasn't careful, it would be the shots coming back for vengeance. "You havin' fun?"

"Are you?"

She shrugged, shifting onto her side, and due to an overcalculation of her own body parts, an arm flopped hard against the table with a clang.

"Ow," she whined.

"Jesus," Tom tsked, rubbing her wrist before she could find the braincells to work out which body part had just taken a hit. "Your brother is an idiot, and now he's taking you down too. I'm banning absinthe."

She pouted, squinting against the lights. "I thought you liked absinthe."

"Not when I have an Armani shoot in the morning," he laughed. "Absinthe is great for getting schnookered, but anything else..."

Parker was drunk, she knew that, but the word falling from Tom's mouth with ease was just so ridiculous, that she wrenched both her eyes open to stare at him. "What did you say?"

"What? Schnookered?"

"What the fuck is that?" she asked, then giggled, and then, when she ran the word over her tongue, she fell into open cackles. "Schnookered? Tom, babe, baby—"

"Oh, here we go," he rolled his eyes as she attempted to sit up.

It was hard. Gravity wasn't working like it normally was, and her arm had already taken a pretty hard bashing against his table, and her head still sort of hurt from where Colt had accidentally pegged her with a dice earlier during their drinking games, but she managed.

Or, he did, anyway.

Two arms cinched around her waist, her arms cinched around his neck, Parker now sat in his lap, eyes stooped from the liquor. "You are so cute, you know that?"

He sighed, glancing around as if to make sure no one heard her, but the truth of the matter was that Tom Ryder was cute. A cootie-patootie according to the evidence. "Park—"

"Schnookered," she said again, the word broken apart by her hiccups and giggles. "Schnoo-kered. That's so—"

"Midwest trash?"

She zeroed back in on his features, hands digging into his hair, as she tried not to tilt too far to the left or right. "So you, Mr. Ryder," she corrected. "Ergo, cute."

"I am not cute."

"Cute."

She felt him sigh more than saw it, but when Parker planted a kiss on the tip of his nose—cute—he couldn't lie away the smile curving his features. His gaze raked her face. "You're really drunk, huh?"

Parker closed one eye, squinting the other at him, as she saw his face fracture into three mirror images.

"Maybe," she said, hiccuping with a grimace, "the absinthe was a bad idea."

"Yeah," he agreed, laughing when she bowled forward against his chest, sweeping her hair away. It gave him a perfect view of Colt on the other side of the room, in the middle of doing the worm for the crowd of excited partiers standing around him, no shirt to be seen as he writhed on the floor. "No more absinthe."

---

Hopefully, this is what you were looking for! And for those that don't know, schnookered is an absolutely crazy midwest term for being tanked. They're crazy out there, huh?

[teethkid67]

hi hi i Also have gone through the block party tag today and. oh my god it is so fascinating. i would love to hear more about techno and his big fuck off jeep if you'd like to discuss it but honestly it's all so interesting in general

need to draw a bptechno....

similar to how he was used in canon when he first joins, bptechno operates as a protector of sorts for pogtopia tommy and wil... its how he became an eaglescout boyscout survivalist nerd type idk how to explain it.

he moves in (courtesy of our awesome real estate agent sam) and. idk. offers his arsenal. hes some sort of combined history/military/survival buff who thinks this whole situation is, frankly, stupid but is enjoying watching and awkwardly offering consolation to tommy (mentally unwell) and wilbur (mentally unwell-er) . he brings them rations and tends their stupid cave campfire and wakes tommy up for school on mondays.

technos big fuck-off jeep (which i have not been able to stop saying) was as previously stated a sort of silly idea that evolved into a serious take .. i like to think block party is a modern au on acid with so much blood .... but yes hes one of those vigilant paranoid types i think. and as a result he has many things to protect himself and shit . this includes his huge armored car because he believes it is necessary living in the suburban midwest. hes got guns and knives and shit, hatchets and is generally prepared for almost anything that could come at him. bro wears combat boots everywhere . i think he still dyes his hair. hes a little bit of a weirdo

so yes he offers his weapons and shit to the lmanburgians and then they win and im not sure what his motivation is but eventually he runs his huge armored car through the front of the (l)manburg house :3 weird man swag

butcher army is really fun. they attempt to murder techno (i think they shoot at him or try to like Stone him to death medieval style? its silly and also its been a second) and uhhh he runs to erets house after that (bc thats the bp final control room) and uhhh slashes through quackity's face with a garden rake. exter exter read all about it here

hes painfully socially awkward hes resourceful hes a little bit unhinged. he has a street-illegal armored car with attached machine gun and everybody is dead silent about it. hes worn the same brand of boots since he was 16 and he can only cook boxed&canned meals. hes a little freak and i like him a lot

[munamania]

going to pointlessly ramble about the grammys just cause im annoyed and bored at work:

in no way is anti hero a song worthy of an award as stupid as the institution giving it might be. did a lot for fandom edits but stop giving that woman grammys just cause shes popular oh my god. that album sucked

ill keep these next two complaints separate. guts was fine but not good enough for album of the year are we kidding. i knew it was gonna happen and got preemptively a little bit mad. sorry olivia and her fans i love u girl but stop giving teenagers grammys it's really going to their heads. im tired. nowhere to be seen: the rise and fall of a midwest princess or javelin. ok. guts was better than harrys house as an album nominee by a decent amount... but not enough. come on.

boygenius being on there but not muna or chappell or paramore. once again. boring. sorry i still havent listened to the whole record but it's so obvious theyre getting up there because they had a lot of popularity skyrocketing this year and theyre the whitest/most vague and performative about their queerness. i am not saying the artists themselves and the way they behave is performative btw im just saying like. chappell has local drag queens at every tour date. muna brings out a variety of artists for their openers and brought a trans choir to one of their days at. wait was that in la. well regardless it was recent. im just saying they dont engage with the broader queer community as much like hurrah yay tits out but. be serious. they are not the best performers or lyricists.

i guess kill bill is fine as song of the year but the rest of these... why isnt speed drive on there if we're including barbie songs.

best new artist. im appalled chappell isnt there but whatever. as fine as his music seems im sick of hearing about this noah guy.

BEST POP DUO/GROUP PERFORMANCE. AND YOU PUT KARMA BY TAYLOR AND ICE SPICE. PLEASE BE SERIOUS. THAT WAS SO FORGETTABLE AND STUPID AND AWFUL. OH MY GOD WE'RE IN HELL SORRY TO BE DRAMATIC. FUCK OFF AND DIE I AM SO SICK OF SEEING THAT WOMANS NAME (sorry ice spice). WHY THE ABSOLUTE FUCK IS ONE THAT GOT AWAY NOT THERE (well apologies if it only counts feature songs usually...... whatever.)

the fact that fast car luke combs is on there. WHAT EXACTLY DID HE DO. HE TOOK A LESBIAN'S SONG AND SANG IT LIKE. OK. HE DID NOT WRITE THAT SHIT. IT'S NOT THAT GOOD OF A COVER. KYS!!!!

yeah whatever naturally charli wouldnt show up for best soundtrack on bottoms. and maybe it wasnt like THE best score ever but it was so much fun.

fast car is on here twice. im clenching my fists.

at least rush is on here i guess... why no other troye noms even.

best pop vocal album and u have olivia and taylor there. this is how u can tell pop music rn is in the shits. sorry. neither of them have bad voices theyre just singers not vocalists. not to be pretentious but if the whole category is about vocals.

i wont hate on them for this but olivia and boygenius are the only women you could come up with for the rock category. what about nova twins. ig their genre is weird but neither of them wholly fit it either. ok also their album is from 2022. whatever

best music video and they have rush but not got me started or whatever or one of your girls.... right. omg caroline rose is on here (not mv) i liked her one song

k well then theres a lot of others sorry to neglect but whatever. in conclusion. im sick. and tired.

[mallcowboy]

TOP TEN SPOTIFY PLAYLISTS THAT ANNOY ME: NUMBER ONE

>midwest emo is actually good -> implies that midwest emo wouldn't be good for some reason

>front bottoms lyrics -> whether or not they are midwest emo is debatable. i do not think they are but a lot of people do. whatever

>penelope scott -> im gonna kill you if you are being fucking serious

>34,263 likes -> people are enjoying this

[storybook-souls]

sigh okay I'm gonna once again bitch about something that doesn't matter and probably delete this soon

[onenicebugperday]

the warmth this Christmas in the Midwest is no joke. It’s fucking terrifying. People at school and all around me are telling me “oh no this is awesome and it’s great” and I feel like im the only person in this damn country who gives a shit about global warming—

anyway weird blog to put this on but if it’s warm enough to see fucking moths in December…

I'm not denying climate change obviously since it's a serious issue that's contributing to the mass die-off of many species and expanding ranges of others, but winter moths are commonly seen active from October through January and can tolerate freezing temps. Of course, that's in their native Europe - they're invasive in North America. As they spread they may become a more common sight in the winter.

[flashflashhundredyarddash]

okay the halbarryiris polyamory post lets gooo

tw for internalized homophobia and biphobia

so barry spends his childhood bouncing around between foster homes so he doesn't really worry about relationships

once he gets to college he realizes he's bi and he's like oh. oh NO.

he very much does Not want to deal it so he sort of decides that he'll only try to date women

oh barry

i also headcanon that barry has pretty intense anxiety

so he graduates college, gets a cool job, and then oh holy shit barry has superspeed now

so he meets iris and hal at roughly the same time; he meets iris separately as both barry and the flash, and he meets hal as the flash

hal immediately discloses his identity and barry is like sfliefne but he gives up his pretty quickly because the type of personality that makes you become a secret superhero is also the type of personality that makes a person Very lonely

so hal doesn't Really label himself anything like if anybody Asks he'd say that he's mostly straight but he's not opposed to anything

so his first reaction to meeting barry is like oh Hot Guy Alert, HOT GUY ALERT

barry was the first guy that hal like really wanted to actually take out but barry gives off very Straight vibes so hal just flirts very aggressively to see if barry will take him up on it

so fast forward a few months and barry is definitely falling for iris BUT he also... has feelings for hal. this is Not Good. he wants to ask iris out but he also?? wants to ask hal out??? OH NO. he asks neither out because he doesn't know what to do.

so barry is wracked with indecision and finally hal is like FUCK IT and tells barry that he's into him and they kiss

but barry really quickly retreats and is like uhh im into someone else

and hal is like OH UHH SORRY

and barry is like BUT IM INTO YOU TOO

and hal is like OH YES TELL ME MORE?

so basically barry fesses up and hal being a Coastal California Girl is like oh damn hey you know polyamory is a thing so if youre down im down

AND BARRY IS LIKE POLYAMORY IS A THING?? (barry grew up in the midwest the only exposure he had to polyamory were mormons and barry is a Good Jewish Boy)

so yes now barry is like. polyamory is an option and hal says he's fine with being nonexclusive so hal is like ASK IRIS OUT and barry is like is it weird that my kind of boyfriend wants me to ask another woman out and hal is like your kind of boyfriend is volunteering to be your wingman trust me you need my help

when iris was in college the venn diagram of people working on the school newspaper and the gay straight alliance was a circle so yes what im saying is that iris has 100% been in a polycule before

iris is also like hal in that shes mostly straight but isn't opposed to being with a woman

so when barry asks her out shes like YESSSSSSS LETS GOOOO and then barry on the FIRST DATE freaks out and is like i have a kind of boyfriend but were open and iris is like yessss but i want to meet the kind of boyfriend

so hal and iris meet and hal is kind of into iris but iris is Not into hal like she LIKES him but she's not into him but anyways yes now barry has an OFFICIAL boyfriend and girlfriend

but because of the Internalized Biphobia and also living in the midwest barry tells people he has a girlfriend but never really talks about hal

:(((

iris decides she doesn't want to date anyone but barry, and hal dates like two or three other people the whole time he's with barry but he usually cuts it off before they get to anything serious

apart from the Internalized Biphobia barry keeps up pretty healthy relationship negotiating skills so he moves in with Iris (he also has a bunch of stuff at hals but hal lives across the country and also goes into space pretty routinely)

so anyways once barry has been with them both for several years he really wants to make both his relationships more permanent but because both gay marriage is illegal at the time AND bigamy is illegal barry decides to marry iris

I KNOW :(((

hal is sort of like :( but he gets it and barry and hal have a very separate and different relationship than barry and iris

though barry and hal never get married hal makes it pretty obvious he doesn't want to be with anyone else after barry and barry loves hal and always wants to be with him too

also when barryiris take in wally it was sort of a. very quick decision they had to make but hal decides he really Doesn't want to be a parent (nor to any kids barry and iris may or may not have) but he is Uncle Supreme

so yeah they decide not to tell wally for a multitude of reasons so barry just takes a lot of "business trips" when really he's spending a weekend at hals

ANYWAYS YEAH once dick finds out (detailed in my last birdflash post lol) dick is like yeah im not keeping this a secret from my boyfriend i can't do that to him so yall are gonna have to tell him

SO THEY TELL WALLY

WALLY IS VERY UPSET FOR A WHILE but gets over it once him and barry have a tearful heart to heart about it

also as barry gets older he's more wililng to tell people about his boyfriend he's still kind of quiet about being polyamorous but he is like YES, MY BOYFRIEND, HAL JORDAN

also while flash can't acknowledge his relationship with iris he CAN acknowledge his relationship with green lantern

and of course the whole fucking green lantern corps know hal is dating the flash like alien jesus christ we get it jordan

so yeah that's the barry/hal/iris relationship and though barry and hal never Officially get married barry does start wearing two rings on his ring finger

[justcallmetar]

I haven't wrote a text post on Tumblr in a grip lmao but HNY niggas

I just wanted to reflect on my 2021 because I feel like it was probably the most interesting year of my life. I learned a lot about myself as a human being. Like so much and Im still learning which is cool. Always moving forward. I hit the one year mark staying in Indiana in my own place. I fought mad battles of depression, sleepless nights, tears, etc. Was in a serious relationship and did not end well which is normal. Im not going to be the typical person to say that it was toxic or a shitty situationship. It just did not work out like everything else and we both learned from it. I honestly never experience a heartbreak in awhile but I openly admit it was my fault. Not going into detail but whatever. I felt like I made the right decision. Besides that it was also mad shit going on lol. I was lowkey raw dogging life mentally, financially, like all the ways. I definitely don’t regret the trips I made when I wasn't suppose to, bought the dumb shit I did, etc. It seemed like this was the first year I truly experience adulthood at such a late age (in my opinion). I met so many cool people from basketball in this weird ass area of the midwest. I played so much fucking basketball dude lol. It was awesome. I would say basketball kept me sane throughout this entire year. It wasn't really gaming, or photography or whatever else I had going on. It was just the people and basketball. Definitely appreciate everyone I met and still talk to from the summer. I took a lot of walks, hiked, traveled a decent amount around here. I spent a lot of time alone man....and im cool with that. I never been by myself so much until I moved away from Ohio. I tapped into so much of myself just by being alone at the apartment, going to the gym late at night shooting around blasting music, spending nights at the office doing work, streaming when I didnt have internet. Its been such a weird but humbling experience. Im just on this bitch rambling but I dont care. Its just been awhile. Im like sitting in my chair typing this shit on my cracked MacBook hooked up to my monitor damn near about to cry because those days and nights I honestly thought I wasn't going to make it. Yes.....you read it right my g....I thought about it a lot. It doesn't help that im drinking while im typing. But anyways Im thankful for my students at my new job, the people I met, and everyone that deals with me back home. I could keep typing but I think this is a good part to leave at that. But this is just a small part of my year. A lot of experiences, a lot of emotions, a lot of loneliness, a lot of everything. Just dark and light. A lot of contrast or whatever?? I guess. Well fuck it, ill just finish it. One very important thing I learned this year is that it is okay for people to not like you. Its okay to cut close friendships off. I lost a decent a mount of people this year and Im not sad about it. I always thought people come and go anyways. Shitty way to think but its whatever to me. I was just really tired of people not realizing what the fuck was going on, people being stupid, im being thrown under the bus, people being hypocrites, etc. Very tiring. Lowkey tired of being the person to get dumped on but thats been going on for a VERY LONG time. Shit since high school. Definitely met someone just like me but me and her didnt last long which again is my fault but whatever. She lowkey understood me. Not being checked on sometimes can be a big “fuck you”. I noticed people only did such thing if I tweeted some super sus shit or I just stopped communicating lol. Mad annoying. I wish I talked to my oldest brother, my parents, and my grandfather more. Well I lowkey have a long list of people I could've talked more but ya know how shit goes when its been too long. I need to learn how to give people their flowers before its too late. This tequila is beating my ass lmao. This is lowkey refreshing but I know im all over the place. lol this shows you how much I express myself. Niggas know I hate talking. Never was like this. Im getting sleepy. Work in progress still. 

[genderdruid420]

Hey! When did you realize you had ADHD? Do you think you showed signs as a kid (because i didn’t)?

i have defs showed signs as a kiddo i would get irrationally mad over homework (still do) and just. not do it at all. but like I COULDNT HELP IT AT THE TIME! ( < that part i can now help, the emotional turmoil that comes wit it,,, still there. just not as bad since im aware of my adhd now) id often fidget also, if i could get away wit tappin my pencil u bet ye ass i is (why do i talk like a fucking hillbilly. oh ya cuz i live in the midwest SDDDS) id also often get waayyyy distracted, and when i would like. come back from spacing out or from focusing on entirely smth else- ive found that ive missed all the important info ! so im just. super mentally blank when the teach actually hands us said assignment in doing my school work too as a youngan, i noticed that i would miss the most important details- and make the weirdest fucking mistakes and i would also have hyperfixations (still v much do and im cool wit it) , where like. ur brain seeks out all of the happy vibes u get from investing emotionally in this one topic when i realized uhh,, well, slightly tmi but i had started thinkin "smth is wrong wit me" when my academic skills just. slowly went BYE BYE as it declined over the year. i started doin terrible in school, save for a couple classes, and i found that i cannot do well in certain enviroments. even asked my principal smth like: "do u think i have adhd?? cuz there are somethings i just cannot control about myself" then his ass went like- "no lol ur not failing class xDD i dont see how u could have it" that. made me relapse in my thought process of telling my dad i could possibly have adhd and id like to be treated (whats funny is that i had to stop stimulants a few weeks ago SDDS so all that thinkin was fer nothin! /lh) also. dont think u have to be failing school to have adhd, i masked this shit like a pro and did fucking well in elementary n middle school, high school however is absolute hell now _______________________________________________ now, i have researched like. causes of adhd and just general info about it cuz im also a nerd but im not sure if adhd can also manifest without a genetic element? when ur a teen i think is when it can be noticeable, but can also develop in adults?? my brain is foggy in this certain area so dont take me too serious but ya! if u showed symptoms as a tiny person, its very likely youd fit the criteria for a diagnosis (WELL. IN THE US ATLEAST idk where u live) i also havent looked up add that well,,, i just hope these help!