#FUCK IT ill do it myself
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vashwood shippers have set unrealistic standards for the smut i read now and the gi and hsr fandoms are not up for the challenge
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so when are we gonna get drawings of 2000s-era anime boys doing their HRT shots yet
#originals#ok cause i’ve been looking at so many yami no koe screenshots i know exactly the kind of aesthetic i#im thinkign about#FUCK IT ill do it myself#ill fuckin do it#i’ll do it.#but does anyone know the kind of aesthetic im talking about#the kind like. 2000s big-eyes anime aesthetic#and its that but of a trans boy doign his T shot#txt
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artfight attack on unclejoe's jean-luc !
#animation#2d animation#horse#animators on tumblr#procrastinated putting this together bc i got so frustrated trying to use 3 different animation tools to do the trees that i went#fuck it ill do it myself#and proceeded to just write out pure html5/js#but yeah horse !!! im pretty proud of this !#its actually my first run cycle ive done without tracing or heavily referencing a split video#only referenced a lot of live videos !#he kinda runs like a wolf but ssshhhhh
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HE WAS SEVENTEEN. AGHHH ULDER WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU
#bg3#wyll ravengard#baldur's gate 3#ulder ravengard#i am having so many Thoughts and Feelings about wyll and his fucking father#his dialogue abt him is so heartbreaking 'Did he ever miss me?' RAGHHH#man the game this would be if they actually explored this with wyll>>>>#whatever ill just do it myself
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they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?
they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.
you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.
you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.
mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.
you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.
#writeblr#warm up#to be clear let me state again: i think you should id however you fucking want if it helps you seek peace#but there is a HUGE difference between being like '.... im undiagnosed but i think i might be X'#and a person who is like ''omg my intrusive thoughts made me buy a birkin!!!''#babe mine made me throw up bc they disgusted me so much <3#mine made me hurt myself evenly. even when i wanted to stop. i have had to put my hand on the stove MULTIPLE TIMES#and again i'd rather have 10000 people get help for something they don't need help for#than have 1 kid NOT get help#but there has GOTTTTT to be a middle ground here#bc at this point it isn't ''raising awareness''#it's . fucking misinformation. and ''what this picture says about you!!!!!''#& yes! im mostly talkin about ppl who are actually disgusted and offended by signs of mental illness#but use it to defend THEIR actions#like babe you hate when kids start yelling in the walmart? but you YOuRSELF can yell?#you are depressed so it's fine you were cruel to your spouse?#but if your spouse spends too much time in bed she's a lazy fuck?#your partner needs to do everything for you bc of your history in trauma? but when SHE has needs she's being clingy and gross?#HUGE difference here between whom i think most of my followers are btw. like#all it takes is fucking anyyyy empathy or kindness . like.#anyway it's hard to explain im hoping we all know the person im talking about lol
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i got lazy in the second panel and didnt feel like coloring or whatever bite me
#i think she'd be petty enough to do this if rebecca actually lived#flirting with her man. unacceptable. eats#the trend of uzi in the suit and n in the dress is the funniest shit ever to me. n would be so willing to wear a dress#and she'd totally wear her combat boots over the pants. they're not going anywhere#she should be allowed to say fuck#art#murder drones#murder drones uzi#murder drones n#serial designation n#i can finally tag it myself exclamation mark#biscuit bites#uzi x n#murder drones nuzi#lizzy was recording it to send it to v i swear shes not just playing subway surfers#i dont understand outfit design in the slightest im just making it up as i go#ill figurre out a speechbubble design for uzi later im tired#oh yeah uhhh#murder drones rebecca#murder drones lizzy#hope i didnt forget anything ok bye
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littlest furth shop
@laikascomet
#i think i had a little too much fun with this lol#i also wanted to draw road boy and other characters but maybe when they actually get introduced#i do have a sketch of him with a lil chainsaw.. im not gonna be normal when he gets introduced man he looks so sillygoofy#if you squint laika's eye marking is a clover yue's is a crescent moon and mars' is a star ^_^#i wanted to give laika an accessory too but i couldnt think of anything.. maybe a stack of pancakes??#im curious to see the apocalypse side of the story too.. like so far we have an idea of the comet fucking everything up#and im assuming that lead to a ripple effect causing the apocalypse but exactly how bad?? i cant wait to find out#rn im kinda piecing stuff together.. larkspur delivers mail in a beat up van so that might mean all transportation is grounded#the buildings we've seen so far are intact like the observatory and turnip's house but idk if thats the same for big cities#laikas playlist only includes songs downloaded on yue's computer and there hasnt been internet in 20 years.. but radio signals might#still work.. if yue grows his own food we can assume that mass production and distribution also isnt a thing anymore#sorry im a sucker for worldbuilding.. and the furth puns are fun to me. i like to think toronto would be clawronto.. and vancouver wld#be nyancouver.. barktic circle.. mewfoundland and labrador.. canyada....#christ i have so many drawing ideas. willow if youre reading this im so sorry youre probably gonna expect to see a lot of drawings frm me#like. i wanna draw laika in the akira bike pose so sosososo bad. IT WOULD BE SO AWESOMECOOL. ill teach myself to draw bikes if i have to#i also wanted to animate laika leekspin.. man#my art#myart#fanart#laika's comet#laikas comet#laika#mars#yue#furry art#fur#littlest pet shop#lps
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part of knowing me is watching me self-destruct. you cannot save me, you cannot fix me, and you cannot stop me.
#actually mentally ill#actually borderline#actually bpd#ed not ed sheeran#ed not sheeren#bpd#bpd thoughts#bpd feels#bpd vent#bpd mood#this is so dramatic and like edgelord but fr!#not good at taking care of myself and self-aware about it! plus stubborn and spiteful and defiant so your concern just fuels me#sometimes i can be very 'oh you're worried? shut the fuck up and don't tell me what to do'#so that's not great
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banging on the wall of my asylum room can anyone hear me.
#pokemon#kieran#trainer kieran#florian#sghr#candyappleshipping#hrsg#rival kieran#trainer florian#pokemon scarlet and violet#pokemon sv#indigo disk#art#fanart#persona 5#shuake#trust me bro….#tealmaskshipping#suguharu#WHY ARE THERE SO MANY NAMES#giggling cackling sobbing maniacally#yknow throughout the game I was waiting for kieran to pop the ‘I hate you Florian’ like any self respecting rival yaoi would do#but he never…. did it……#HIS SPEECH IN THE TERAPAGOS ROOM WAS CLOSE ENOUGH THO!!!! CLOSE ENOUGH…..#speaking of which yeah maybe the bg being terapagos room instead of bb entrance would’ve fit better but whatever man#begging you not to look at any mistakes too closely I did this in a feverish frenzied state#does anybody get me or do I have to go insane all by myself#anywa i thought i was being delusional and mentally ill with my interpretation of kieran but then terapagos room happened and#HE JUST SAYS ALL THAT? HES ACTUALLY EXACTLY LIKE THAT. HES SO FUCKED#rank 8 akechi has such a special place in my soul. I’ve never been the same person since.
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I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.
It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.
#mental health#mental health advocacy#like... anxiety and depression are often concieved of as simple and easy to manage...#...but that isn't the case for so many of us. anxiety and depression just have a lot more research invested into them...#...and while i wish this were the case for literally every other condition it does alter people's perception of you to some extent...#...so while this is NOT solely about anxiety or depression it includes us...#...my anxiety and depression and PTSD have *destroyed* my life. this is chronic and will probably be life-long...#...and that isn't my fault. i've done the fucking work but guess what? that doesn't account for the fact that I Am Just ILL#the least we can do for each other is to be compassionate#be compassionate to those who cannot heal. be compassionate to the people who can't manage their lives. this world is scary enough#recognize that management of symptoms is something not all of us can do - even IF their condition is labeled as 'easy to manage'#i allowed myself to feel angry that i can't heal 'normally' and that was unfair as fuck toward myself#and i NEED people to internalize this so that MAYBE this could help somebody else who is where i was#i NEED them to understand that it's okay that they are where they are - sometimes shit just doesn't turn out how you expect or want#don't beat yourself over you being a person. you are struggling enough. you deserve to rest. just rest please#and just... give yourself space
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always by your side
#couuugh. whehezze#hold on#project sekai#emu otori#pjsk#prsk#proseka#ok thatsg enough RANK 96 COOOOOGUH WHEEEZE#literlaly cough wheez ei have fucking covid. i wanted to draw something nicer for the event but my hands rlly hrut snd my throat hirts and#i was sticking my head in the freezer in between matches.#omfg i didnt think the end sprint was gonna be so insane i didnt have enough energy. mfers made me spend 700 gems. nene please.#i never wanna open the game agaon.(guy who will open it tomorrow and sunday) 16 MIL POINTS.. pimh was only 9mil. for rank 80smth.#the hatsune miku colorful stage tiering economy is in shambles#'im never doing that again' [will do it again in august]#event was insane. started out ill -> only 1 rate up card -> charger broke -> assignments -> covid on the last day. Be fr#to my beloved sakurako and fixer i wub you. ill try to finish my nice profile but well honk mimimi.#NSIFFLKE. SNIFFLE. WAAAAAAH#this is so lazy but i havent drawn for myself literally in a week. other than doodles i did between matches#actually theyre like little bobblehead emus all over my sketchbooks i should collage them into anpost#idk how people get that subtle gaussian blur on their lines i tried it but it looks so obvious to me here.. maybe bc i used a thick brush..#ok wonderhoy i need to lay down so bad tylenol save me. I ACCIDENTALLY SWALLOWED MY LOZENGE IN THE MIDDLE OF A GAAAAAME
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robert chase one of the characters of all time. hes blonde. he went to seminary school. he purposefully murdered a patient. he’s a vapid slut. allergic to strawberries. was caption of his college bowling team. desperately needs to be on antidepressants. he’s divorced. his ex-wife was/is in love with his dadboss. it’s heavily implied that this is part of why he married her to begin with. he’s been fired multiple times but he keeps coming back like a fucked-up obedient boomerang. he’s the best surgeon in the hospital. all this while having the personality of a sopping wet cardboard box of corn flakes that somebody poured milk into and let mildew.
#the concept for chase was#‘what if house had like. a surrogate son. and he kind of wanted to fuck him and also hes like catholic’#‘ohhh and he can be australian!’#‘why would he be australian?’#‘just cuz’#house md#robert chase#beautiful loser very virgin mary coded man#i do like chase but i find it amusing that i also find him boring#bc objectively theres no reason he should be?#hes a great character i love his story arcs i love how sarcastic he is i love how hes doomed to repeat houses fate#but compared to say. foreman? there is NOTHING#im very sure ill manage to gaslight myself into loving him later#dr robert chase#i didnt actually fact check the bowling thing. dont quote me its late
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ive only had these two on my mind recently .
#hetalia world stars#hws romano#hws italy#hws itabros#too much caffeine + an anxiety disorder = im gonna kill everyone in this room if someone touches me#i hc that they both have anxiety disorders but while vene manages his roma is raw dogging life and it ends up getting him into Situations#(Situations of his own making ofc)#yes i keep putting romano into situations i have put myself into. and ill fucking do it again#my art
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god i wish i had prospects
#fast food fucking sucks and i dont know if my online certifications will even get me anything better.#and even if i do get a 9-5 ill probably end up killing myself because wgo wants that#i really really wasnt made for this#i dont think loved ones are necessarily worth living with everything#im sorry
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it mattered because when my brother asked me what if this is the happiest you'll ever be? the best you'll ever get? the thing i felt was fear, not peace. everybody thought you were so perfect for me. even i thought you were "helping me grow". i had to challenge every internal clock. make myself more thoughtful, more kind, more beautiful.
i told my therapist it was good because i like the changes i made and there's something so strong about saying i did that. the problem is that i can like the difference all i want, but i changed for you. something akin to getting your name tattooed, all my progress is stamped with fuck you.
it was the happiest i'd ever been and also the best i'd ever gotten. i would still get in the car and think what the fuck just happened.
#warm up#writeblr#i spent a lot of time picturing our future#how funny to think: in each version of our future#i was never myself#i was someone smarter kinder braver#better adept.#who could navigate the way you shouted and got angry at small things and never fucking believed the best of me#i would never be needy and you'd never get tired of me#people usually talk about how we picture people as being “fixable”. but i assumed i was the problem. my idyllic picture wasn't of you.#it was a version of me that wasn't ill. that needed no extra help. that could be your wife and happy#the fact i wasn't happy was because there is something so wrong inside me. it's always been that way. i convinced myself:#if i stay i can change. if i stay i can make it worth it. i can apologize and fix this. and make us both okay.#for the last year i've been thinking about how you blamed our whole breakup on me. how it was my fault for whatever thing.#and i agreed with you. because of course i did. you'd trained me to believe everything was my fault . that you wanted to love me and i made#it far too hard. that i was always finding ways to ''set you off'.#a few days ago while i was doing something else#i realized that while i was in crisis you told me to fuck off and find someone else to get help. and you never fucking apologized .#you said i made you do that because i wasn't being sensible. i had been crying too hard to speak clearly.#you said: you're doing this to manipulate me.#you forgave yourself for that. i had to forgive you without apology. you said you were right to react that way. and then you were SO#SO annoyed. any time i said: i feel like you aren't nice to me. it is hard to trust that you love me.#i don't think about you that much anymore. but these days when i do: all i can think is that im not sure u ever really understood kindness#you were the cruelest to the people closest to you. and most of the time. that meant it fell to me.
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