#FUCK DWAYNE JOHNSON I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS

[evansbby]

okay nobody cares and it’s not that deep but

[yuehua8]

I apologize to anyone who was on my blog Twitter during Wrestlesanji bc HOLY CRAP I WAS LOSING MY FUCKING MIND

here’s some sketches that came from it pfft I was absolutely NOT EXPECTING MY OSHI TO WIN TWICE

Also the whole goddamn thing was a fever dream and a half I cannot believe Pomu Rainpuff from Nijisanji en’s first wave Lazulight beat Dwayne the rock Johnson

[waitingformyfavoritesongs]

16 fe bru ar y 2023 11:34 pm pdt

does anyone know what happened after Judy garland sang haaleluah come on get happy ... it’s judgement day..? Bcz I don’t know. 😞

sometime in the last 2 hours I thought I felt something big fluffy at the back of my mouth. If incubus is stuffing cotton or similar fluffy objects down my throat I’m going to guess that I might need surgery Bcz if that. & if I need surgery I’m going to call it quits meaning assisted suicide. And that someone told me he thought god was clearing out old people. 😞😤🥵😖😭😤🥵💱 incubus made me touch that last emoji. He is not denying it. I have not seen black Adam movie 🎥 w/ Dwayne Johnson but I guessing that was meant to brain 🧠 wash people. Why you think 🤔 so many people died of Covid & then a lot of shootings happened? El hefe? Restaurant article on the rape case I have not found further news 📰 of the rapist being found. Did I interpret it correctly that they still don’t know his identity? Incubus is full of “bullshit, bullshit, bullshit” I’m putting it in quotes Bcz I remember a tweet 🐣 of his saying everything that comes out of his mouth 👄 is bullshit x3? 12:45 pmpdt he’s heating up my body too hot 🥵 that I feel nauseous & my face is dry & wrinkling. He also put dirt in my bed 🛌 & on my bathtub 🛁 Bcz he’s calling me dirty. You’re the dirtiest incubus. You think 20 year old women are really going to like you? You’re crazy. Especially when you are demon angels making people crazy & raping 11 year old girls & giving them all sorts of disorders & gaslighting them. ⛽️ you think people are going to want to worship a dirty old man like you???? If anymore crap happens to me, if you double cross me you think that will win you an award? 🥇 popularity contest? Abuse. No one should trust this jerk. I bet everyone who died if Covid is really dead ☠️ & he has liars & actors doing shit for him. 22:53 11:52 on pm pdt you have not proven anything to me. 21:53 11:53 pm pdt & I had faith that the person I saw bite the other person would stop 🛑 if s/he was told to Bcz s/he never bit me. You make every one crazy. You want me to believe we’re friends maybe you should have practiced treating me like a friend, bad ass jerk. 11:55 pmpdt not 11:44.

12:02 am pdt he probably never saved Jesus Christ. He probably conned him. He lies. & he has dirty ads (12:05 am pdt 12:06 ass) liars lying 🤥 for him. He’s trying to make me crazy. 12:03 am pdt I don’t trust you stop 🛑 trying to pull me back in. 12:03 am pdt earlier he stabbed into my cheek bone 🦴 as a sign 🪧 that I’m cheeky. & it was after thinking all the thoughts I wrote above. 12:07 am pdt also I’m not sure 🤔 if Scott photoshopped his videos & pictures Bcz I thought his nose 👃 was a little different. 12:08 am pdt

12:09 am pdt

12:11 am pdt I cannot upload a picture.

12:12 am pdt yup.

12:16 am pdt I also had a learning disability & u bashed me head into very hard things & I felt like a weirdo. Why do I have so many sexy bot 🤖 girl looking subscribers? I hope not all the viewers are bots 🤖. The person who bit first wasn’t covered in bruises & she seemed otherwise happy & content. Incubus likes to possess people & cause trouble 👿. 12:20 am pdt I don’t like you incubus. You already showed me you don’t like me before 2006, back in blossom hill & you’re killing my body with heat. 12:22 am pdt this is too much. I hate you incubus. 12:22 am pdt you don’t like me Bcz I don’t think correctly Bcz you bashed in my head. It’s already small, why don’t you pick on a short person with a big head. I don’t have that much brain 🧠 to spare. 12:24 am pdt I once saw a car 🚗 that looked 👀 like incubus old black sporty probably cheaper car. It had plastic bright orange decorative sting 🦂 he’s threatening to sting me you should have thought of that b4 burning 🔥 me & mashing my brain 🧠 not allowing to breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️ more than one breath b4 heating me up again. You’re seriously that fucked up one Bcz garrido had a motorcycle accident & I guess no doctor 👨‍⚕️ cared to heal his head. You manipulated every one including garrido it sounds. You wanted it to happen you devised it to happen so more people would have more jobs? Sick. You’re a sick creature. 12:31 am pdt at least the person I had faith in showed some capacity to make a lot of decisions that helped take care of the other person. Yeah, it wasn’t good but the other person bit her first & it seemed like it would only be a one time thing if s/he was advised to stop 🛑. 12:34 am pdt

maybe it was stupid of me to give the benefit of the doubt. But I had problems, too. Maybe stupidity problems. 12:35 am pdt

12:39 am pdt it took me a while to realize my mistake. I had too much faith in the other person that things would be ok. I guess now I see the error of my ways⬅️👁‍🗨. Happy incubus? What does those emojis mean? I didn’t intend to touch those. 12:41 am pdt

incubus deleted a lot of my pictures that probably had a picture of that car 🚗. 12:47 am pdt I remember back in 2017 probably to toy 🧸 with me he sold that car 🚗 that looked like that car I think 🤔 & a carera? Car 🚗 unless my memory is really messed up & it’s actually the same car 🚗 I remember it being more angular? Not curvy? 12:50 am pdt future feels grim & unromantic. Incubus introduced me to the part of the world 🌎 I didn’t pay much attention to before, when his cheating scandals came out (#3 ready 😞😖😭😤🥵😫😠😤😠) seems si dirty & lecherous. Creepy he has become to me. 12:53 am pdt I don’t see him the same way anymore. 12:54 am pdt

Is this what people mean when they say cringe 😬???? 12:54 am pdt 12:55 am

1:15 am pdt orange plastic rings on the hubcaps when I saw it in blossom hill when I was a teenager. When I saw 👀 incubus’ car 🚗 I think I saw hot pink plastic rings on the hubcaps in the online pictures. 1:16 am pdt

1:19 am pdt I remember standing next to the car 🚗 it had tinted windows 🪟 & I remember starting to feel fear. If it was the incubus’ car 🚗 he was probably messing with me to make me feel anxious. Something about tinted windows 🪟 scares me 😱. 1:21 am pdt

1:37 am pdt incubus hates me he’s burning me too much. I am tired of coughing & not being able to breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️. The hospital 🏥 doesn’t care or want to help me. 1:38 am pdt I ve read articles online from 2010 about an advertiser who had similar/same symptoms & they were apathetic, too. 1:40 am pdt I remember being very nice to them yet they don’t care 🤷🏻‍♀️. 1:40 am pdt I’ve been putting up with a lot of abuse. At first I thought maybe I deserve it? Bc in usually critical? & then I thought I didn’t, & now I’m back to thinking 🤔 I do. There were some things I didn’t think enough I guess. My aunt believes in god a lot for years. But god still wanted to punch me again. 1:43 am pdt my aunt gives my cousin a lot. When she was 9 years old she wanted purple hair and she got it for Halloween 👻. My mom gave her the wrong shampoo 🧴 & it washed out of her beautiful long thick black hair. She like nicki Minaj. I think 🤔 my aunt even got her the teen/young women’s platform boots 👢 for her Halloween costume Bcz she had big enough feet to wear women’s sizes. She wanted padded push up bra & a teen Halloween costume that her classmate told her she looked like a whore, but I didn’t see her in the costume. I think I might have saw the boots 👢 & the plastic package for the costume. 1:48 am pdt she was a very talkative girl & she danced & played video games & I let her watch YouTube. Yeah I think I was stupid back then I’m remembering somethimg I did that I wouldn’t do now & I want to smack myself in the face for doing it. 1:50 am pdt

1:53 am pdt incubus sometimes will tell you things he thinks you want to hear 👂. At this point I don’t believe him. 1:54 am pdt too much oppressive killer heat. 1:55 am pdt

2:17 am pdt I remember my cousin cried when the hair dye washed out. I learned recently that my cousin has been lying 🤥 about how she felt about me for years. She told me I guess what she thought I wanted to hear 👂 along with tears 😭 over the phone ☎️ but I was very surprised about the tears 😭 Bcz she seemed to avoid me for years & last month she called me a bitch & said she didn’t owe me anything even though she punched me in the head & my aunt sides with her. She only came over 2 times to help me a little. & then we only saw each other for birthdays usually. I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don’t think it was frequent. & I had a lot of difficulties & felt ignored by everyone w/ very little help occasionally. Texts from the start were usually to tell me I’m a brat, & crazy/schizo. Maybe I am crazy? But I had some stuff happened to me & no one wanted to hear it for years. Why I feel selfish & wicked to write this? Even though I might have a killer gaslighting stalker who likes to lie about his age & tried to lure teen girls to see him even if he had to buy them a plane ✈️ ticket 🎫 to do so? I’m cursed. By the demon lord incubus rapist lecherous creepy cringe murderer. 2:27 am pdt

2:34 am pdt my cousin when she (head hot 🥵 2:35 am pdt) she had came over when she was 9 years old sided with her dad & said that her mom messed up everything by bringing them back to California/ leaving Missouri. She had a little dog 🐶 & a yard to run 🏃🏻‍♀️ & play in at the house 🏠 & even her mom agreed that they were fine there. It seems my cousin was very happy in Missouri. She also got to play a lot I think, at her moms clients house 🏠 of a rich old man who lived in a nice neighborhood. I visited once & she seemed happy playing with a classsmate. 2:39 am pdt when we lived together in 2015 I usually let her do what she wanted which was to hang out by herself in her bedroom & she’d usually take a box 📦 of food & probably ate the whole box at once by herself. Her dad told her he didn’t want her to be a kid so he showed her cartoons like family guy. I put protective child settings on the cable tv 📺 & she said there aren’t any children here. I didn’t realize she was 12 going on 13. Something about the way she talked I thought she was still 11? I guess she was right. Maybe 🤔 my head was more damaged than I realized. 2:44 am pdt they were a little messy. She left a lot of long strands of hair all over the sink in the morning don’t remember how many times probably at least 2xs. We let them borrow a dresser & they burned a candle directly on top of it & let the wax drip 💧 on it. I think one of them

was messy w/ nail polish 💅🏼 on the table & maybe they didn’t properly use a paper towel 🧻. I advised them to paint the nails outside. When I did print making the teacher scared us about chemicals? Substances like acetone & that we needed ventilation. 2:49 am pdt but I probably advised it more Bcz of what they did to the table. Once I had a nail painting session outside. 2:50 am pdt she punched my head I thin October 2011 & I was laid off in 2012. 2:50 am pdt I guess I’m a bitch. Whatever. No one cares when I dropped fro the failed. Cherry 🍒 drop. My sister & best friend at the time watched me fall but seemed to express no concern. Same thing over & over again from my sister & mom. My aunt says the skull 💀 is very strong 💪. It was still extremely painful 😖 & I wasn’t normal afterwards. A lot of people were saying I was crazy. 2:53 am pdt abdomen pain left lower side. 2:54 am pdt people are crazy & beer 🍺 is good? 🎶🎼🎵 2:54 am pdt

2:55 am pdt 2:56 am incubus, the cherry 🍒 drop was b4 fourth grade photos. Ass hole 🕳. 2:56 am pdt

5:18 am pdt I was scared 😱 when I saw 👀 the person bite the other person. Maybe 🤔 I had hoped or thought 💭 that was all that was needed. I had hoped that there would not need to be any other intervention. But maybe I was wrong. Maybe I should have done ✅ something more. 5:21 am pdt that person is still alive today. & it took me until this morning to realize that I failed 😨 a test. 5:22 am pdt so god thought 💭 it would be good to have someone bite me. In the neck. After being (head brain 🧠 pain 5:23 am pdt) I thought 💭 I was doing something good confessing I failed 😨. I’m confused 🤷🏻‍♀️. 5:25 am pdt maybe I should have been around more to make sure that there wouldn’t need to be. I feel like our whole family is effed up 🆙 now. Bcz my youngest sister left us alone. Maybe it was too much responsibility for her to bare. Maybe 🤔 we deserved to be abandoned even though we probably needed another head around to help us. It’s okay though Bcz that’s what god wanted. I can’t fight what god wants. 5:30 🕠 am pdt

8:15 am pdt I guess I’m the devil then. My bones 🦴 degraded. I guess I’m filled w/piss & vinegar. 8:16 am pdt I wish that god would have killed me in the womb when I was a fetus or embryo. I wish I didn’t have to endure all this pain & misery. I hate myself. 8:18 am pdt

8:38 am pdt

8:51 am pdt 8:52 am remembering another bad decision.

9:43 am pdt in a class @ UCB I had issues with controlling what I said. I think I was sorta falling apart at the time? Eczema got infected & I was oozing all the time. My ear 👂 also opened at some point 946 am pdt I think I #3 now in pants 👖

[lightofraye]

All right.

I've largely kept quiet on this, aside from, I think, reblogging at seeing JDM speak up for Jared. Oh and I believe mentioning how stupid that TikTok was.

Celebrities are not exempt from being gossiped about. Even in other countries where there may be stricter laws to protect celebrities from invasive paparazzi (there's a reason why Shania Twain raised her son in Switzerland!), celebrities are gossiped about. It's part and parcel of the fame.

It sucks. It happens.

Even royal families, politicians, and other famous folk will be gossiped about. (And the tragedy of Princess Diana...)

What many a blogger and I do is just talk. Speculate. Maybe make fun of some sections of the fandom, point out the toxicity of the fandom, and overall talk about our favorites. Or whatever. We'll also try to debunk a ton of nonsense (hi Misha, you born liar).

Not one celebrity is above criticism. Not one.

Not the princes, sons of Princess Diana. Not Jensen. Not Jared. Not Misha. Not... hell, Dwayne The Rock Johnson. Not Glen Powell. Nobody is above gossip!

Hell, I'm pretty sure my neighbors probably gossip about my family. I certainly talk about others when it comes up. Gossip about friends. Life. It's how we connect and find like-minded people.

But keep in mind... there's a difference between speculating with decent evidence to make said speculation seem probable (like what I do) and then there's outright fucking lies, as those girls did with the TikTok video against Jared. (And Misha about his bullshit regarding the plane.)

It turned out those girls completely lied about the whole story. It went viral enough that Hellers went nuts and tried to use it as proof of what a "bad person Jared is". It caught the attention of no less than three well-known names in Hollywood--Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Billy Burke, and Jim Michaels.

No one went chasing after these well-known names to get them to comment. They saw it all over Twitter and were annoyed enough to speak up! Jared didn't ask them to speak. He didn't have to.

They spoke up for Jared because he's well-known and well-liked in the industry. There has been endless praise for his achievement of work-life balance in Hollywood. Most sets would be working 16+ hour days. Jared succeeded in bringing that down to, what, 11, 12 hours? It meant people had a fucking life. Of course he impressed Hollywood enough to get a holding deal with a major broadcaster (CBS). And folks, it's way better with CBS than it would be with any of the streaming services right now. CBS is booming and leading in scripted shows.

Has Jared made missteps in the past? Yes. His fans actually acknowledge, actually have said they wished he hadn't done XYZ. (Doxxing in particular, they agreed, it was bad.) Yes, Jared was drunk and got into some kind of fight. He made his amends, kept to the agreement that the courts imposed upon him. And apparently attended the wedding of the person he got into a fight with! It's been years since he's done anything bad!

Meanwhile... Misha... christ. Orgasm sounds at CCS. Using the r word and his defenders trying to say "He's from a different time where that was acceptable (no it fucking wasn't no it never was)". Or the f word--he isn't queer, he cannot touch that goddamned word, back the fuck off Misha Collins. And the lies about the plane incident. (Again, repeatedly debunked by no less than three different bloggers with links to the original stories!)

Even Jensen has said some things in the past that have made me facepalm. Antis are right to call him out on it.

The difference though? I haven't seen any anti-Jensens deliberately tag him in, tell him to go kill himself, that they hope he commits suicide, or other vile things. Meanwhile I see Hellers and anti-Jareds do that to the extreme. When they were making comments in hoping that the cancellation of Walker would lead to Jared committing suicide.

It's not the same. Period.

We write gossip and speculation. We don't go to other blogs or twitters or other social medias and harass them, throw death threats at their faves. We don't incite violence. (I'm looking at you, Misha.)

None of us condone Jared's past bad behavior. The difference is, he's grown. He's owned up to it. He hasn't done anything in several years. His reaction to Prequelgate was absolutely understandable, as one story cites from Jensen that he saw Jared tried to call and text him before he gave up and tweeted. Jensen knew he fucked up. So spare me the defense of that.

Basically this is a very long essay to tl;dr: Jared learned and is doing better as a person. He didn't deserve that TikTok video trying to paint him as a bad person.

Period.

Not to defend Jensen or the rest of the SPN cast, but if they’re going to be called out why isn’t Gen also expected to come to Jared’s defense from all the constant slandering and hate online? Is she afraid of being harassed and bullied by Hellers too?

Honestly, why would she do that? The moment she would post that message, she would be slaughtered because it's her husband! She would be considered biased. If it was my husband, id tread carefully before acting and exposing my family any further. Also, Im glad Jared got defended (mostly because it was an evil lie to cast on the internet) but how stupid it is that celebrities need to go on Twitter and say he is a good tipper? I dont blame the ones that didnt vouch for him, I get it, the situation by itself is ridiculous and it shouldnt even have started in the first place. This is the scum of the fandom, right there, trying to harm a man's image for the sake of what, anyway?

[latinokaeya-moving]

actually i just got home and realised i’m too lazy to rlly talk abt the movie jungle cruise Like That LMAO i would just like to say that idk if it’s because it’s that genre of ‘white scholar/archaeologist/historian/treasure hunter that has been learning abt mysterious legend of insert indigenous ethnic group here since they were a wee babe now decides to go out on adventure to find the relevant special item for themselves/scientific research/the betterment of the world’ movie (a la indiana jones or the mummy, according to some reviews i just read lol) and that anything w that premise is gonna be pretty much inherently racist n flawed but i can’t believe those kinds of narratives r still used n presented as uncritically/earnestly as it was in this 2021 movie… like come on man 😭😭😭

[jjuzoir]

Random Kageyama Tobio HCS

Word Count: 1851

Warnings: just... me being in love with a m*n other than masumi 😔 also! these are my headcanons as in,,, what i personally i think he’d be like ‼️ also me projecting my ideal man into him (as if he wasn’t it already 😋)

A/N: i... i love tobio so much it’s literally unreal... i couldn’t wait for a request (i’m still working on the remaining 4 too lolol) so take me projecting my love for tobio >:(

— Kageyama normally wears loose fitting clothes or athletic-style clothing. His favorite go to outfits tends to be a loose tee, some loose pants with an obnoxious Nike logo he swears are super cool but look like two garbage bags sewed together, and running shoes. Throw a hoodie in there for colder weather, even then he still manages to look good.

— He takes very good care of his hair, like freaky good care, because of Miwa. Once she enrolled in cosmetology school and she saw Kageyama use the same baby shampoo from when they were kids she freaked out (if she’d been any later he’d start using 3-in-1) and chewed his ear off about hair care. His hair is super shiny and there’s literally no freeze, he uses nice smelling shampoo and conditioner too. Ugh, I love him.

— He has a very sensitive nose but it gets clogged easily so he doesn’t notice much unless it miraculously unclogs itself and he’s complaining about everything.

— “Eh! Hinata, why’d you smell like a fucking axe bottle?!” “Why does no one say anything about Tsukishima smelling like strawberries?” “Yamaguchi smells like... milk.” “Hah?! Sugawara smells bad-?!”

— He says he’s a picky eater to appear cool but as long as you don’t say what’s in the food he’ll down it. He’ll say he doesn’t like carrots but if you give him a salad with carrots he might even say “it’s the best salad he’s ever had”.

— He’s a hot sleeper, and not in the “oh he’s sexy” type of way. I’m talking, he’ll sweat buckets if he sleeps with anything other than a flimsy white t-shirt and his underwear.

— Might be me projecting my love for bunny teeth but he has bunny teeth, his front teeth are a bit bigger than average (not to the point it’s super noticeable but it’s still something Miwa teased him about), his aunties probably squeezed his cheeks and called him “baby bunny” when he was younger.

— He doesn’t go to sleep later than 9PM, he thinks if he does it’ll ruin his schedule (which it will) and fuck up his body - he’s seen Miwa screw up hers after she pulled a bunch of all nighters in her third year in high school and has been afraid since.

— The type to forget people were coming over and come out of his room shirtless asking for his clean underwear.

— His sister forced him to let her cut and style his hair which led to many questionable hairstyles. Tsukishima is genuinely so grateful to Miwa, especially when she was first starting - he’s got some pictures of Tobio with the shortest most embarrassing bangs ever saved in his phone in a file for blackmail if the need for it ever presented itself.

— Likes pissing people off on purpose sometimes, during one of the training camps he probably walked into the bath with socks on and was made fun of but out of spite he just… never took them off. Said he’d done it on purpose and all too. Tanaka cried out of fear for like a hot minute when he saw him standing under the shower with Iron Man socks on.

— He’s so petty too, if you make fun of him for messing up he’ll remember until you embarrass yourself to make fun of you. And when I say he remembers, I mean it - he can’t for his life remember when to use make and do in english but he remembers when Hinata made fun of him for wearing different socks back on their first year and yes he will bring it up on their second year when he did the same thing what are you going to do about it?

— Probably got scouted for a modeling agency once and began running away because he thought they were trying to kidnap him.

— If he had Tiktok… he would’ve gone viral after posting a video of him practicing, he posted for a while for fun and to flex on people that he was hot but then he saw a comment saying they wanted to drink his milk under a video of him drinking milk and he deleted his account, he can’t buy from that brand for a while.

— He’s got a video of a gorilla walking in two legs saved on his phone for when he’s feeling down and watches it whenever he’s not going well. People think he’s texting his S/O but no, he’s just watching a gorilla walk like minecraft Steve.

— He can’t pose for pictures to save his life, his default pose is an NPC stance with his arms stiffly hanging down and his eyes wide in surprise, don’t ask him to smile or else he will look like a serial killer.

— He’s got a bit of baby fat on his cheeks that won’t disappear no matter what. It’s become a pre-game ritual to pinch his cheeks. He’s also got dimples you can really only see when he smiles naturally but he doesn’t know and he’d get shy if he knew and try covering his face so don’t tell him, that’s a fact he told me so himself.

— Cannot dance to save his life. He’s so long (?) his limb control is non-existent, it appears in game and vanishes when he steps out of the court. He really just bounces on his heels and moves his arms like a t-rex, don’t ask more of him.

— Buys his clothes one size bigger just in case and Miwa teases him saying he’ll need them when he gets old and fat.

— Gets asked out often but always rejects, then has the audacity to complain he’s never dated anyone like he hasn’t turned down half of the school's population.

— Can’t sing. He’s got a nice speaking voice but ask him to sing and he’s out of tone, out of sync, out of breath, and out of the room in 5 seconds.

— Sugawara joked about having him singing as his alarm clock and Kageyama actually believed him, probably sent him a new recording as a gift after he annoyed him during practice.

— Surprisingly funny when he wants to but most jokes fly over people’s heads since he seems so serious most of the time, it annoys him to no end. Yachi still struggles differentiating when he is and isn’t joking because his tone literally doesn’t change at all and she doesn’t want to offend him.

— When he was younger he liked to collect rocks, not even the pretty ones he’d pick the most average, raggedy rocks off the ground and clean them up and tuck them to bed because he saw Miwa play with her barbies like that. Still owns his first rock, he named it “Johnson” after Dwayne Johnson, aka the rock (he’s had to explain it so many times he’s exhausted).

— Accidentally drank expired milk once and didn’t notice until his stomach began hurting and he thought he became lactose intolerant and he was inconsolable for days until he realized it had expired like a month ago - he went on a milk shopping spree and the milk sales that week saw a 20% rise from the last few months.

— Tobio had bad handwriting until he was in Junior High because his teachers couldn’t understand him and had him practice calligraphy, his handwriting is now one of the prettiest ones in the team and he’s the official inker of the VBC posters (as designated by Goddess Yachi Hitoka herself).

— His biggest fear for a long time was getting eaten by piranhas because he saw it happen so often in cartoon shows he genuinely thought it was going to be a bigger deal than it turned out to be but for like a solid 6 years of his life he avoided suspicions puddles just in case.

— Kageyama has a habit of rolling and unrolling his sleeves when he’s deep in thought, it soon made way to a habit of checking his wrist watch (he absolutely has a wrist watch, you cannot change my mind on that) but not actually reading it.

— His nails are very pretty, like most setters, he takes very good care of them. They’re filed down to a perfect length and he puts oils and creams, his hands in general are so nice. He takes a lot of pride in them, you know his cuticles are pushed back and trimmed and he could absolutely be a hand model. Kags’ hands are calloused, he’s a volleyball player of course they are, but it’s not to the extent of Ushijima or Daichi’s hands.

— Talking about hands, it’s probably one of his favorite features on people. He loves holding hands with his S/O and tracing the wrinkles in their palm, being able to interlock fingers with them and feel the bumps in them.

— Mumbles to himself when in thought too! Very nonsensical if you’re not informed on what he’s thinking about, if he’s thinking about you he’ll mumble your name or something like “pretty eyes”.

— Has a very healthy diet, like extremely healthy and thought out. He won’t eat anything too sugary or that could throw off his body, but he does have cheat days (which are rare but exist). He also doesn’t drink much soda or alcohol (once he’s of age).

— Things like smoking are a big no, he takes so much care of his body he wouldn’t even touch a cigarette or be near a smoking area, lowkey paranoid of ingesting the smoke too.

— When he’s older I can see him having a dog and a cat, the dog would be a big dog; if they stood on two paws it’d be the same height as you, he’d name or something like Tobias and think he was super clever and funny, the cat would probably a small cat he’d name Milk (it probably would be a black cat too but he does not care).

— Probably tried baby formula because he heard it was a substitute for breast milk. No further comments on this.

— I feel like he doesn’t listen to music, but if he had to choose something he’d pick instrumental music - not orchestral music or anything like that - but more of a chill, no deep meaning just guitar and piano track. I could see him listening to Shego Sekito or Joe Hisashi on occasion, he might even listen to some 2000’s pop if he wants something to pump him up during training (he works out to Brittney Spears’ “Womanizer”).

— A cuddle-bug when he’s sleepy, he’ll throw himself across his S/O and not move at all, he just wants to stay there and not move ever again (or at least until he’s not feeling like passing out). He’ll like to wrap himself around them and cuddle their neck, he’ll attach himself to their arm like it’s a lifeline.

— In other words, Kageyama Tobio… b-boyfriend material.

[practicalmagicintuitions]

Well this is an interesting plot twist in the HC/DG saga.... https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/ncna1284312

OMG.... So HC has spent a fortune on PR articles on how he should be Bond and The Rock is just mocking him now and DG is letting this. I don't even feel sorry for him. He said we should fuck off because his "professional partnerships" is off-limits. He is seriously a joke, sorry. I cannot believe once I had compassion for him.

[infinitesnow]

i cannot believe that i have been around this shithole website long enough to see the long and sordid history of Tumblr Sexymen unfold before me in real time but i’m gonna drop a hot take, as someone who was there - yes, wheatley from portal 2 may have gotten the Tumblr Sexyman ball rolling. no, it is not entirely his fault.

like, a good 75/80% of human wheatleys were just varying degrees of stephen merchant, whom, if you have not seen him, is not only skinny as anything but also taller than fucking dwayne the rock johnson, which i didn’t even know until i needed a reference image for this post

(and this is not to discount the many wheatleys i saw back then that chose not to steal anything from merchant’s look, by the way, all of whom were equally valid and wonderfully designed)

but it was one of the only instances of the “turning a non human character into a Tumblr Sexyman” trope that made even a modicum of logical sense in canon context because a major plot point in portal 2 is that one of the main characters is revealed to have originated as a human consciousness uploaded to a computer, meaning that ANY portal robot could have been human (and trust me, all of the robot characters got humanized back then; he may have been the most popular but you will still find PLENTY of human GLaDOS), not to mention that honestly the man looks like he sounds and if being attracted to a featureless robot made people realize they wanted to fuck stephen merchant, or at the very least that they found traits of his appealing/fuckable, as a byproduct of that, i guess it tracks

so, yeah. wheatley is a friendly little dork who starts out as your robot pal, and then he gets put in charge of the facility and turns evil for a while, and some people made him look like his giant gangly voice actor, and frankly folks at the time were pretty cognizant of how anyone got to that point because y'know, portal 2 was a kickass game and we were innocent back then.

and then the onceler showed up and was a giant gangly twink who was in charge of a factory and also evil. and then the warden from superjail showed up and was a giant gangly twink who was in charge of a a jail and also evil. and then the clock from don’t hug me i’m scared showed up and had long fucking puppet limbs so i guess he’s a twink, and he controlled time and also was evil. and then bill cipher showed up and are we starting to understand how things spiraled out of control so fast, the bar to be fuckable on tumblr just plummeted once we realized characters are, or can be made to be, giant and gangly and also evil sometimes

[magicalgardenofhypnosis]

Always Commit

Part 1

The Rock is once again attending another less than worth while red carpet event.

The cameras are flashing non stop the lights is too much.

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is frozen in time completely dim witted.

A young man watches from the side of the room his tongue drooling.

“See you soon Mr. Johnson.”

The night rolls on dismal as always for The Rock.

The Rock takes a break heading in to the bathroom.

Locking the door he is fixating in the mirror unaware of the loom figure.

“Mr. Johnson, focus on the mirror and in to my eyes.”

Part 2

“Where the hell am I? Who are you?”

“Do you expect me to stay here forever?”

“Answer me, what is we there chains?”

I hear him scream helplessly as his arms are strung up, and consistently held down.

The door behind him swings open as the young man appears.

He swoons in behind him rubbing the giant shoulder.

“Have you seen yourself in the mirror lately?”

“Uuuhhh! What the fuck are you doing to me?”

“Check it out bro.” The Rock Johnson cannot believe his eyes as he explodes with muscles.

Part 3

“All that hard work you put in to this shall we say magnificent body.”

“Unfortunately for you, but not for me you are a light weight.”

“No stop, sssssstttttttoooooopppp.”

“A big man like you just a pussy.”

“What a shame, I mean really feel how I made you a real man.”

I punch his face, smack his ass and inject him.”

“I lace your drink, your food and now this injection.”

“Eventually, everything you know will be me and me only.”

“Nnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooo.”

Part 4

I snap my fingers as the room fades him in to a subspace.

“Do you know where you are?”

“How the hell should I know?”

Nonsense, I appear on a small screen in front of him.

“Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.”

“Fuck off! You freak show.”

“It’s time explode command prompt.”

“Nnnnnnnoooooooo.”

“Uuuuuhhhh! Dumb muscle slave.”

The end.

[queen-eevee]

HI I HAVE A NEW ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION DID YALL KNOW MCLAUGHLIN SCORPLER WAS MARRIED TO RYAN GOSLING FOR 12 HAPPY YEARS BEFORE THEIR INCINERATION?? THATS WHO THEY GOT THEIR JACKET FROM. THINGS I LEARN BY EXPLORING THE TIGERS WIKI ON A WHIM

hm thoughts on something about your blaseball team that you think is really neat but doesn't get talked about a lot or isn't super well known

oooooooo this is a GREAT question oh my gosh thank you so much!!

I am very out of the loop when it comes to blaseball lore and knowing what people do and don’t talk about BUT: I am personally obsessed with the fact that the Hades Tigers are so vehemently against necromancy, mostly in regards to the whole “bringing Jaylen back” debacle. Idk why I find it so interesting—maybe because the stance makes so much sense when you actually consider Greek lore and Hades’ whole [Hades from Hadesgame voice] no one escapes from Hell thing, maybe because of the fact that the decision being so controversial only makes the resulting consequences (re: Ruby Tuesday) that much more tragic, idk! But I think having such a strong opinion like that is fascinating and I’d be so curious to see creators explore it more.

My second answer would be the fact that Orpheus is literally a member of the Hades Tigers coaching team where the FUCK is my Hades Tigers version of what the Garages have. Where are our sad ballads and epics about blaseball events we should have more MUSIC!!!

Send me something to give my thoughts on!

[gayoperatorgunclub]

Twitch/Cav for the ultimate ship meme pleass? Anyways, I hope you have a wonderful day!

of course!!! and thanks anon, i hope you have an awesome day!!

General:

Rate the Ship -   Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - FOREVER BITCH

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - it was love at first sight babe

How was their first kiss? - vv romantic, a building was collapsing behind them and cav, thriving on that post-mission adrenaline rush, dips twitch and they have a very sweet lil smooch 

Wedding:

Who proposed? - twitch! she presented taina with the most beautiful ring she’d ever laid eyes on. during his best man’s speech, rook tells the story of how he and emmanuelle convinced seamus to forge the ring

Who is the best man/men? - for twitch: rook, for cav: buck 

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - for twitch: finka, for cav: valk

Who did the most planning? - twitch! cav helped whenever she could, though

Who stressed the most? - neither! they were both confident this was the right choice for them

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - twitch’s sister’s wife, as cav was not invited to their wedding. it’s an ongoing bit between the sisters that they believe their s/o’s will try to get them to have a civil conversation, no competition, no prize. unthinkable. what would they even talk about?!

Sex:

Who is on top? - cav! y’all already knew that tho

Who is the one to instigate things? - twitch is a horny lady and you cannot convince me otherwise

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - AGAIN WITH THIS ONE!!!!!!! LONG ENOUGH!!!!!!!!

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - yes, unless they’re doing play that specifically requires a difference between # of orgasms

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - none!!!!! they are cool aunts!!!!!!

How many children will they adopt? - NONE!!!!!!! SEE ABOVE!!!!!!!!!

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - yucky

Who is the stricter parent? - twitch. regulations and structure got her where she is now!

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - twitch, but cav encourages the child responsibly

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - twitch. she’s literally so organized what the fuck 

Who is the more loved parent? - NEITHER WHAT THE FUCK

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - twitch, since cav has been banned for flashing a shank at judy when she commented on “that poor child, no father to learn something actually worthwhile from” but it’s not like twitch is any better, using her shock drones on a civilian after taina told her about judy’s sins

Who cried the most at graduation? - cav! she realized she had become the person she needed most in her life when she was the kid’s age, and she was so overcome with joy she burst into tears

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - cav. she hates cops 

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - cav! twitch’s french ass does NOT get to cook snails in cav’s brazilian kitchen, no ma’am! 

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - twitch. she fucking whines if taina makes her eat vegetables

Who does the grocery shopping? - cav. twitch got lost and store security had to make an announcement over the intercom for taina to come get her wife

How often do they bake desserts? - whenever taina can find the time, she makes twitch double fudge brownies

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - twitch prefers salad, and cav goes downright feral whenever she eats meat 

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - cav. twitch is not allowed within 10 meters of kitchen appliances

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - twitch. she’s a legend among the staff at their local buffalo wild wings for how fast she devoured a bucket of wings after a particularly tough mission

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - TWITCH!!! 

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - twitch! she’s very organized

Who is really against chores? - cav lives for chaos, so . 

Who cleans up after the pets? - cav, but only because they’re her snakes and goats

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - cav 

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - twitch!!! perfectionist check!!!!!

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - cav, and she used it to bet tachanka she could drink more than him before passing out

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - twitch. perfect skin-having bitch. i love you 

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - uhhhh do people take snakes out for walks?? idk but cav takes the snakes and goats out for a walk every other day

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - taina refuses to admit it, but she watches the world cup religiously if brazil is doing well. i’m talking flag face paint, flags everywhere, brazilian snacks, the whole she-bang. if france ever beats brazil, taina will be extra rough during their......... late-night activities

What are their goals for the relationship? - happiness, comfort, contentment

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - cav. the night life blood is still in her veins. at any moment, she is ready to attend a rave. her combat face paint? it glows neon under blacklights 

Who plays the most pranks? - cav!!! she’s too sneaky for twitch’s heart. one of these days she’s going to give emmanuelle a heart attack, i swear

[jostenminyard]

who are your aftg fancasts ?

Anonymous said: have you ever thought about what actors would be perfect to play the foxes if there were ever a show/movie ?? i’m interested lol.

sorry for taking so long pals, i wanted time to really think about this! i have models/people picked out in my head for certain characters, but not any actors. and i think there is a difference there! also does anyone else picture fanart for them more than rl people? like requiemofkings/rainbowd00dles/llstarcasterll’s art is exactly how i picture a lot of them, with some exceptions.

anyways, let’s get into this

neil josten: this is tricky because in my head, he is NOT white. he has beautiful brown skin so i definitely headcanon him as either half first nations (like me!) or hispanic. they aren’t interchangeable i know but my hc as him as native is pretty much me projecting. anyway i could pick the obvious answer of jake cooper (1, 2) who is beautiful and has that pretty boy charm to him that neil has, but boy is white af. there’s also froy gutierrez, who is stunning and a lil cutie, and is actually an actor! my only problem there is that. he’s just so /cute/ that i can’t picture him as neil entirely. i’d love to hear what other people think!

andrew minyard: OH GOD. WTF. NO. HE CANNOT EXIST IN RL. THIS 5′ TALL BEEFCAKE?? WITH BLONDE HAIR AND GOLDEN EYES?? i legit haven’t ever come across anyone who fits the bill, so i usually picture fanart. that being said, there are a few people who give off andrew vibes. as nora said, toby hemingway (1, 2) has that ‘good-looking-but-kinda-scary’ look that fits andrew. but idk i think andrew has more defined facial features. i despise the thought of dane dehaan as andrew because he looks like 40 years old (not to say he isn’t good looking) but dane’s voice is definitely andrew’s 100%. also i’m not that informed about kpop but i kno this guy and he’d make a good andrew right?

aaron minyard: ^

kevin day: oh this is eASY!! the one, the only, the man, the myth, the legend, LAURENCE COKE!! he has such a beautiful face, a jacked af body, and he has that arrogant look to him that says ‘i’m better than u’ because he is! but. BUT. my dearest headcanon that i won’t allow anyone to take from me is that kevin day and wymack are native american. so that being said, a very beautiful kevin day would be dyami thomas!!

nicky hemmick: those who say tyler posey is nicky hemmick can jump in a fire. tho i will admit he could probably act as a good nicky, but,,,,, nah. nicky has dark skin. i picture him with long and curly hair, that always gets in his face. somebody on twitter once asked nora about nicky and she responded with a perfect face cast i think but i cannot remember the name. if we’re going for face/hair/body type though, this kid and this kid help build nicky up in my head.

dan wilds: dan is not white. i have never ever thought of her as white. she is beautiful with her short hair and her tiny fierceness. i think aiyana lewis is BEAUTIFUL and is who i generally picture as dan. but, like my kevin hc, i do want to believe that dan is native american. this user found the most beautiful lady that would make an amazing dan! look at her with short hair oh wow ♥

matt boyd: do i even need to say it?? reece king. REECE.KING. what a man! oh god i’m getting woozy over here

renee walker: oh sweet renee. there are so many amazing versions of her (fanart/fancasts) that i’ve seen in my time here in the fandom that it’s hard to pin her down. i’ve seen kim tae-yeon in a few edits and this picture really struck me as renee! 

allison reynolds: i just saw somebody say amber heard and lemme tell ya. i am GAY for that idea. but also kayley kiyoko. i wasn’t able to see it before but hayley kiyoko can do whatever the fuck she wants. can i also say dianna agron or is that my gleek ass projecting? IDC SHE’S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN THE WORLD

david wymack: listen. if you even try to tell me that dwayne the rock johnson is david wymack, i’ll block you. wtf. get more creative people. clearly jeff goldblum is the only rational option here. being serious tho, i picture this big gruff native guy as wymack. listen i don’t have a father i don’t know what they look like ok. but did any other canadian native kid grow up watching north of 60? this face comes 2 mind

i’ve just spent 2 hours on this so i think i’ll end it there! if they were to make a tv show or a movie it would be really swell if they could cast all new faces. i want to see the most diverse cast ever. i want to see actual gay people playing gay characters. i want voices that aren’t ever heard and faces that aren’t ever seen in the spotlight. hope u enjoyed 

[ruhroh17]

1, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10, 12, 13, 14,15, 22, 30, 37, 45, 47, 48, 55, 56, 57, 63, 72, 77, 81, 82, 96, 97, 103, 104, 106, 110, 114, 120, 133, 136, 144, 145, 149

Oh jeez haha1) Who was the last person you held hands with? I think my best friend. 4) Are you easy to get along with? I'd like to think so. No one’s said yet that I’m not so…5) If you were drunk, would the person you like take care of you? Well, since I don’t like anyone atm, I’m gonna say no. 6) What kind of people are you attracted to? Honest, kind, loyal, trustworthy, patient. 7) Do you think you’ll be in a relationship 2 months from now? Highly doubt it. 9) Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? No.10) Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Uhhh probably my dad. 12) What’re your 5 favorite songs right now? “All Night” by Steve Aoki & Lauren Jauregui, “You Dropped a Bomb on Me” by The Gap Band, “Revenge” by P!nk feat Eminem, “Too Good at Goodbyes” by Sam Smith, and “Why Don’t You Love Me” by Hot Chelle Rae feat Demi Lovato. 13) Do you like it when people play with your hair? Fucking love it. 14) Do you believe in luck & miracles? I guess. 15) What good thing happened this summer? Lots of things, but I guess graduating high school. 22) Where would you like to travel? The Netherlands. Somebody I wanna meet. 30) Do you ever want to get married? If I have somebody I could see myself with forever and think it’s a smart move for us, yes. 37) What do you say during awkward silences? Nothing. I am SO awkward. I probably caused it. 45) What makes you get out of bed in the morning? Yeesh deep. My desire to continue my education and hopefully find a career I like. 47) Have you ever been high? No, but I want to sometime in the near future. 48) Have you ever been drunk? No. I’m too young. I think my dad would kill me 😂55) Favorite blog? Don’t have one. 56) Favorite color? Blue. 57) Favorite food? Basically anything potatoes. And pasta. 63) Ever been in love? Yes. 72) What color are your towels? Strange question. They’re like a yellow-tan I guess. 77) Chocolate or vanilla? Vanilla. 81) Favorite TV show? Shit that’s tough. Right now, I’d say it’s “Forensic Files” and “Chopped.”82) Favorite movie? “Ghostbusters” and “Goonies.”96) Favorite actress? Blake Lively and Zendaya. 97) Favorite actor? Dwayne Johnson. 103) Can you spell? Not to sound too egotistical, but I’m very good at it. 104) Do you miss anyone from your past? Can’t miss somebody you never had. 106) Ever broken someone’s heart? A little bit. They misunderstood and I wasn’t aware of that and yeah lmao. 110) Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? Yes, but I didn’t realize how toxic they were. 114) Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yes, numerous times. My family has always loved traveling. 120) Are you afraid of the dark? Only when it’s completely black. 133) Favorite song lyrics right now? Always gets to me (from “Piece By Piece” by Kelly Clarkson): “And she will never have to wonder her worth because unlike you I’m gonna put her first.”136) Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Closed. Always. 144) Dark, milk, or white chocolate? Neither. Chocolate by itself makes me a bit nauseous. 145) Tea or coffee? Also neither. I don’t like tea and I cannot have coffee (plus I don’t like it). 149) Do you believe in ghosts? Nope. There’s no proof.

[the-evolving-falcon]

hostageshipping for the ship meme ask

Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - Till death do them part.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Rather quickly once they’ve developed a mutual understanding and realized how alike they truly are, with Reiji evolving past his huge misconceptions of Shun and completely owning up to his unjustified shitty behavior towards him and Yuuto by apologizing and putting an actual effort into making amends. Shun would follow suit after a period of mistrust, change his own attitude towards Reiji, and by the moment they are having deep and meaningful discussions, they are already way past the point of no return :D

How was their first kiss? - Electrifying. Tbh, there are various options for first Hostage kisses, all of which make sense equally. I may or may not talk about these in a separate post as I only really bring them up in private convos, but… yeah, pleasurable, warm, electrifying is what they all have in common.And please, people, neither of these two are too stupid and OMGOMGOMG awkward to kiss without messing up in a disgustingly embarrassing fashion. It’s disgraceful to portray them in such fashion.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Either Reiji proposes to Shun or they are just having this very casual conversation of “We should get married.” - “…Yeah, we should.” at the dinner table lol

Who is the best man/men? - If he’s alive in the verse in question - Yuuto;  otherwise, it’d be Tsukikage or both lol

Who is the bridesmaid(s)? - Ruri - potentially the rest of the bracelet girls.

Who did the most planning? - Reiji

Who stressed the most? - Nakajima Neither is the type to stress over such matters

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.The former is how they’d prefer to marry; the latter is how they’d probably end up marrying due to Reiji’s responsibilities as the CEO of Leo Corp. They would, however, definitely hold a very small celebration separate from the official one, with only those they genuinely care about or at least to to some extent value - aka less than 10 people - being invited, and that’d be what they’d consider their true wedding in their memories. 

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Those they’d specifically not invite are people they’ve already killed at that point tbh lol

Sex:

Who is on top? - They take turns, meaning the two of them are equals in every aspect of their relationship.

Who is the one to instigate things? - At the beginning of their relationship, it is Shun, given how he is better at adapting to new circumstances than Reiji, who is kinda prudish on top of it. As their relationship progresses, however, they are pretty much equal in regard to instigating ‘quality time’

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 7.5 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right nowI do believe these two’d have intercourse quite regularly, though it is important to mention that they are very much capable of going without too, with no negative impact on their relationship whatsoever, as they are attracted to one another’s minds, not bodies. And no, no intercourse in public or other ‘risky’ places either; Shun and Reiji are not neanderthals, please and thank you.

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s headNo toys, but… Reiji’d definitely want to experiment a little, with Shun acquiring a taste for trying out new things as well after some time has passed. But…yeah *cough* tying one another up with Reiji’s scarf *cough* a mild kink involving Reiji making Shun say ‘please’ *cough* a very mild and harmless foot kink because ankles without it being dirty or grossly sexual *cough*

How long do they normally last? - It depends on how much time they have at hand before they need to sleep - and on whether they want to just quickly blow off steam or explore every inch of one another’s body.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Always.

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.Again, anything from 2-5 could happen depending on the exact circumstances and intentions.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.Contrary to popular belief, I see these two as an incredibly physically affectionate couple. PDA would be very tame and limited (mostly, they just hold hands), but… yeah, these two, in particular, are very affection-starved for multiple reasons- they’d of course make use of the fact that they’ve finally found someone they adore and genuinely do want to exchange such displays of affection with.

Children:

Children and either character do not work - period.

How many children will they have naturally? -

How many children will they adopt? -

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? -

Who is the stricter parent? -

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? -

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? -

Who is the more loved parent? -

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings?

Who cried the most at graduation? -

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? -

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Shun. While they usually eat the meals prepared for them by the kitchen staff, there are days Reiji is craving Shun’s homemade food in particular, and as Shun himself is holding Leo and Himika in contempt for having deprived Reiji of any kinds of small meaningful gestures showing that he is being valued as a person, he’ll happily oblige him whenever it doesn’t interfere with his duties - despite how he couldn’t care any less about what he himself is eating.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Reiji. But then again, with Shun as his competition, that really doesn’t say all that much lol

Who does the grocery shopping? - Neither. Preparing food and buying groceries is the task of the Akabas’ kitchen staff, and since the fridge is always well-stocked, Shun can just take the ingredients he needs from there. That being said, if there’s a special kind of ingredient Shun needs for his meal that is either seasonal or has to be super fresh, it can definitely occur that they just go and buy it together as some sort of mini-date.

How often do they bake desserts? - I cannot picture them doing any such thing prior to Ruri being freed - and even then, it’d take a lot of asking nicely and gentle bullying for them to join Ruri in the kitchen.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - The kitchen staff’s meals are well-balanced and healthy, meaning far more veggies as ingredients than meat.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - As Shun doesn’t really cook anything fancy, just… simply, homemade dishes that are remarkably tasty and Reiji’d just suggest going out, neither really qualifies for this. Ruri’d definitely cook something for the nerds, though, should she be back and aware of the exact date of the start of their relationship.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Reiji. He’s a bad workaholic, but even he doesn’t come close to Shun’s mustn’t-spend-a-single-second-away-from-war-duties mentality.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - Reiji. Boy has never stepped a single foot in a kitchen before and he doesn’t really have any intention to change such habits if it isn’t for the sake of watching Shun cook.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - The Akabas’ cleaning staff.

Who is really against chores? - Again, the Akabas have people hired for practically everything, so the question is kinda redundant.

Who cleans up after the pets? - No pets for these two.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Reiji by exclusion principle.as Shun just doesn’t care about trivial matters such as cleaning and maintaining appearances in front of others That being said, this’d only occur in the case of an ‘emergency’ as otherwise, Reiji’d simply notify the cleaning staff-

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - I wouldn’t call it ‘stressing’, but… yeaaah, Reiji’d definitely give more fucks than Shun - who gives zero lol However, what kinds of guests would these two even have other than business contacts or politicians contributing to Standard’s war effort? - because no, the Lancer children certainly don’t qualify for that.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Probably Shun lol

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Reiji. When he gets Shun to join him, however, then enter and leave at the same time.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Again, no pets for these two.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Again something that’d only work with Ruri being there to nudge them into celebrating a holiday with her.

What are their goals for the relationship? -  Defeating Academia, killing Leo, and saving Ruri aside, it’d be: Bringing out the best in themselves and in one another; gaining a deeper understanding of themselves, one another, and their surroundings; nurturing something truly genuine and meaningful completely void of false appearances and pretenses.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Neither. Shun’s a light sleeper and Reiji’s too responsible, though… should Shun manage to collapse in his lack of talent at resting and taking proper care of himself, it could happen to him - and gosh, would this poor boy be shocked upon seeing the time ^^’ Same applies to Reiji in the case of him getting sick.

Who plays the most pranks? - Neither of them is the type for that, though if we’re talking about romantic trolling…. in that case, Reiji is the one, though Shun most definitely knows to fight back when he actually cares to.

[gendryw4ters-blog]

a couple skip/penk headcanons that i cant stop thinking about

these are for you @snowmedics my love (and also thank you for helping with some of em in that chat the other day!!) and also!! are set in the same universe/time/etc as this piece i did the other day. they might be a lil dumb too but i believe in them nonetheless;

they lived together as friends before they started dating, and so the living situation has remained pretty much the same with only a few minor changes, like:

both of them still have their separate cupboards and halves of the fridge except now it’s slightly more of a big deal when they steal or “borrow” from the other’s (”i just cannot BELIEVE you would eat the last of my fruit loops like. like i expected this from you as a friend but we’re so much more than that now and honestly? i’m hurt. i’m betrayed. i’m reconsidering this entire relationship” “babe those were mine and you moved them into your cupboard yesterday when you thought i wasnt looking” “thAT MIGHT BE TRUE BUT STILL”)

they have a spare room now. they decided it would be easier to move into skip’s since his was the biggest, and so penk’s got turned into a room where friends could stay and also a place where they could finally house their shrine to dwayne ‘the rock’ johnson. it’s a modest shrine, and one that started out as a joke but then accidentally became an integral part of their life when penk took his name in vain in a tipsy rant about the casting of tom cruise in the new mummy film. skip never let it go. (the shrine stays up even when they have visitors, and while it makes most of them uncomfortable to some degree, malarkey stays over so often that he now sometimes feels uncomfortable sleeping WITHOUT the rock watching over him and keeping him safe)

it’s actually so much tidier than you’d maybe expect. it’s lived in, sure, but they do their best to keep it neat. it was messier when they were just friends- and skip often makes jokes about how dating has turned them both into domestic goddesses and penk just smiles warmly because yeah maybe that is true but also he wouldnt change the set up they have now for the world

other relationship-y things:

they have SUCH a loving and wholesome dynamic though perhaps not in the most conventional sense, like they have this kind of humour between them that to an outsider might verge on mean but between them is just another way of showing love. nothing is ever Too Serious, they’re on a level of comfort and intimacy that they can literally just say anything and the other will instantly know what they mean. the humour and love just rolls off of their tongues, snappy retorts to dumb comments being used in place of simpering sweet nothings, and it’s dry but not always deadpan- with a lot of exaggerated movements and playful slaps to the arm and things like that

they'll sometimes throw more shade at each other than at other people, but when they ARE throwing it at others its a whole different game of subtle hand brushing like "hey iiiiii think theyre being an asshole we're going to analyse this later" and loud conversations like "well i know i wouldnt let YOU act like that in public babe" and they’ll gossip about it later over wine and takeaway pizza at home 

dumb or strange late night conversations are!! commonplace because skip sometimes takes a long time falling asleep, and even if penk IS 90% asleep he can’t resist joining in because he loves skip so he still ends up mumbling back like “i dont think youre ever gonna be able to fuck sean bean, no babe” and they have such in depth discussions over the most ridiculous things like whether liam neeson would appreciate an aquarium date or not but also!! chats about life and shows they watch and just about anything because theyre in love and also best friends and they can be real with each other no matter what

they also!! watch a lot of cartoons. they watch other shows too but cartoons especially have become a source of comfort for them if theyve had a not so good day or “simply cant be fucked with trying to work out what’s gong on in [insert movie that’s not even that difficult to comprehend but penk’s just too lazy to even try]”. they’ll sit around in their underwear and eat cereal and stream them for hours

late night shopping trips!! are absolutely a thing. they’ll ride the cart up and down the aisles and end up buying a bunch of junk they dont really need and always have a good time doing it

there’s almost always music playing in the flat if they’re not chatting or watching tv, it’s on quietly in the background because skip doesnt like total silence and penk sometimes likes to pull him up to dance (casually grabbing him on his way past to finish cleaning the kitchen or whatever he’s doing and spinning him around and kissing him on the nose). it’s not ALWAYS memey music though they do both know pretty much all of the dance routines to all of the late 90s early 00s classics and still sometimes teach themselves new ones on tipsy saturday nights (and use them to cheer each other up!! as with the macarena in that thing i did)

HELLO SORRY I HAVE BEEN RAMBLING FOR QUITE SOME TIME NOW GOOD ON YA IF YOU MADE IT THE ENTIRE WAY THROUGH AND ALSO I COULD PROBABLY GO ON ABOUT THESE TWO FOREVER AND EVER <3

[pangolinslut]

i literally cannot believe this I cannot believe you would even have the audacity to come for me like this I JUST saw an add for the Dwayne the rock Johnson Disney jungle movie thing and he didn’t even have green hair and also? The thing about Obama? He was the president and you don’t even look very presidential :/ also don’t ever even try to fucking come for me again or I WILL call the fbi about it so glad you came to me about this diplomacy is the cornerstone of democracy :)