#FREAK SHIT WILL SAVE US
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YOU HAVE TO WRITE THAT WEIRD GAY FREAK STORY OKAY. IT'LL HEAL YOU
#pig originals#WAS STRUGGLING TRYING TO FIND SOMETHING TO ENJOY YESTERDAY AND YOU KNOW WHAT?#FREAK SHIT WILL SAVE US
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finally got hylics out of my head. i've recovered. i think gabriels relationship w nudity is like, hes fine Being nude in proper areas(i.e. like, a bath house, i think theres a few of those in heaven that hed visit but theyre not really populated) and on his own (Think it's actually quite comfortable really, esp w how Big Fucking Huge he is) but he gets nervvy around minos & sisyphus because theyre, to him, Overwhelmingly hedonistic
#they dont gives a shit. And theyre quite touchy especially sisyphus(him specifically b/c he wants to prod for what will make gabriel#feel lesser to him. He has fun finding weaknesses bc he also knows gabriel would be on no ground to kill him.)#and they dont like. Grope him. to be very clear. theyre not Freaks. by touchy i mean theyre particularly affectionate w his arms and#neck. which are weakspots. he had no idea he Loved being handled around there.#esp under his neck. Especially there.#gooptalks#gabby is used to keeping a distance from people save for mingling w heavens citizens and giving blessings and polite kisses. while minos#takes any opportunity to give a kiss on his bare shoulder! forearm! knuckle! chest and lower! anywhere gabby's fine with#and anywhere he knows he'd like.#Sisyphus purposefully invades his space to Again get an upper hand etc etc. he finds it funny how gabriel Squirms in those first centuries#that they begin to be affectionate#I hope i don't sound fucking nuts
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Suffering more than Jesus atm (being a fan of 80s/90s Suicide squad in 2024)
#god amanda waller what did they do to you....#i KNOW i never shut up about this but GUYS ITS SO BAD#fucking WHY would you take the interesting antihero protagonist and then strip her of any redeeming quality and use her as this horrific#unforgivable villain who is treated as a hated antagonist in her own comics#WHERE SHE ISNT EVEN THE MAIN CHARACTER MOST OF THE TIME#like why are you trying to make me sympathize with fucking harley quinn or smth when the actual main character is right there. why are we#turning her into this horrific villain w a million master plans making deals with the devil and shit.#we are supposed to like her. like maybe not all dc fans do because shes almost always an antagonist in other books but in her own shes the#main character!!! there should be some aspect of interest or sympathy for her. as opposed to just making her like badass or whatever#so sick of this#and its in freaking EVERYTHING right now on god i cant read other comics that are otherwise good (like ga) and enjoy them without the#obligatory intense demonification of one of my fave characters#like shes my no 6 in locg for a reason i genuinely love waller like yeah she sucks sometimes but shes INTERESTING.#this is not interesting or creative in any way what theyre doing with her#this genuinely could have been any government baddie like honestly#dont flatten 3 dimensional characters into 1 dimension (or at best like 1.5) to tell a story you tell the story around the 3d characters.#why do i need to say this. basic competent storytime#blah#amanda waller#istg i throw out another waller rant every freaking tuesday on here#suicide squad#you know what. at least we had the movie#you heard me. higher hopes for the new gunn dceu series than actual comics for the forseeable future#viola davis save me...#need to do a bit of 00s reading still to verify but on god watch this all come down to a fucking new 52 thing. like not to say that i think#thats where it all went wrong bc i need to read more to verify but i have an idea of what rlly did it and i think it was a nu52 decision#but then again maybe im stupid
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Stupidest thing to be keeping someone alive honestly but the way I’m the only active artist and writer for sadalinar and if anything happens to me that all is gone forever is sincerely at least somewhat of a driving force. Like if I’m not there to draw mediocre art and write niche ass fanfic about them who will, yknow? This is, all things considered, a pathetic thing to be The One Reason I Cannot Kill Myself Right Now but it is what it is
#luke.txt#drunkposting#why is writing a fucking rarepare mpreg keeping me alive. god hates me.#it used to be Brent Will Get Put Down Without Me#but he’s started pooping in the litter box now that it’s on a shelf#like the FREAK he is#so long as his rehomed owners put the litter box on a shelf he would not shit on the floor#so that’s less of a thing#I of course want to save Brent the heartbreak but you know how it is with spaghetti#suicide mention#sorry yall
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hmmmmmmm
#drunk again a little bit#feeling good as hell#everything’s gonna be ok#appreciation post for judydoll’s tinted lip gloss in 02 ice strawberry something whatever#non sticky… non transferring.. very flattering not in an unnatural way#basically looks like i’ve just chugged an ice cold m150 or like ate a popsicle yk#if ur a pale bitch like me just get it it’s gooooood i feel like the shit rn it’s sexy asf best and only cosmetic product i own#i was gonna watch evangelion with my siblings earliwr#it’s my brother’s fave show and i’ve been meaning to start it for a while#naked rei kinda freaked out my sister though#what’s her deal#big puritan bout every damn thing#anyway big argument.#doubt she’ll be watching any more of the show which is a shame cuz#i’ve missed hanging out just the three of us. ye olden days of harry potter movies and minecraft are long gone#and nge do live up to the hype#on ep 5 or something so far#so far my thoughts:#rei is creepy as fuck and i don’t really like or dislike her#everybody is too hard on shinji; bros just a kid experiencing horrors beyond human comprehension#i wonder if i’d have what it takes to pilot an EVA#ik the pilots go thru hell but that’s kind of the dream innit#everybody feels like they’re saddled with some kind of crushing burden#everybody is in a way#u gotta be alive in the world and try to live a good life n shit#it’s such a horrible burden to live#but for it to actually matter in the grand scheme of things you know#pilot a cool mech save humanity#for ur struggle and pain to actually be worth something that’s what we all want#oh and the third episode(?) where shinji’s classmates/ former bullies end up in unit01’s cockpit
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Some people have aggressively stupid takes on censorship, fictional content, kink…. But then also in irl sex and relationships, too, and it’s exhausting. If you are a grown adult wringing your hands about how you could never date anyone two years younger than you or getting your panties in a twist over regular safe consenting sex practices/acting like safe and consensual k.ink is inherently abusive…. Then your brain has been so thoroughly rotted by online puritan discourse and you need to get off of twitter and experience the real world. Genuinely. Hope this helps.
#and there is a difference between having an understanding of these things and avoiding certain k.inks because of personal preference/trauma#but acting as if people who participate in and enjoy these things safely and privately are ‘freaks’ or ‘disgusting’ or immoral#is not the same thing#also please recognize the rhetoric you are parroting for fucks sake#because calling people ‘freaks’ and ‘degenerates’ and wanting to police anything sexual… not the take you think it is#this sort of thing actually enables and leads to things like a lot of sodomy laws in the us that existed pre obergefell v hodges#which classified any sex deviant from your standard piv penetrative sex as unlawful and immoral#setting a very dangerous precedent about what people can and cannot do in their own home#there are so many reasons that it pisses me off seeing these things but with the state of things in so many places right now#it baffles me when chronically online bitches swallow puritan rhetoric without a second thought and don’t see the writing on the wall#in an era of book bans and drag bans and the demonization of the lgbtq community at large#and with a Supreme Court that has shown time and again that they put their personal biases ahead of the safety and rights of constituents#I do not know how people do not recognize#this sort of reactionary shit will ALWAYS hurt marginalized people first. respectability politics will not save you when they turn on you#okay send tweet I’m just annoyed#laur speaks!#I better not get some dumbass shit on this post I am tired I am chronically and mentally ill and having a hell of a semester.#not looking for discourse. I do not have time. get blocked argue with the wall read a fucking book and learn some shit while you’re at it.
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me: why don’t I remember some things
also me: OH YEAH L TAKES OVER FOR LIKE 87% of EVERYTHING
#-pop#L save me. Save me L. L save me.#she knows how to do maths and won’t tell me#and like so much other things the skills I have learned are writing related and her’s are maths and science and shit#and she takes notes. She actually fucking takes notes. Unlike me who does not#she basically did most of all the highschool equivalent stuff. And proto-pop did some (before me and poppie split)#poppie took all the maths with her. Freaking why. I had to relearn most of it from scratch iugviuvvhiuuivh#my skills are like so unrelated to anything useful lol#L knows how to fence. How to kinda write? Not really. she can read really well and is good at maths. She also is very practical and pragmat#She also NEVER swears. Even Under penalty of death. her honor would be ruined if she did#You look at her and she’s this bright person who just wants to do things#it was mostly her idea for the whole drafting stuff. Anyway so far we are all on board#It’s fun honestly building houses is fun. I like all the writing parts and doing all the material picking#and writing. I love writing#she would rather cry#it’s why I took over for most of it smh and then I struggled because I don’t take notes bc I don’t need to#L loves to leave me with the parts she just doesn’t wanna do and then I HAVE TO DO IT when she could have just fucking wrote some shit and-#been done 4 months ago
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Biden stepped down.
#I'm high key freaking out.#Like this is a HUGE gamble but voter turnout might be biblical??#Did they just decide it was the best way to combat voter apathy and Biden's polls were low enough for the late switch to be worth it?#I mean she has less baggage and is qualified but HOLY SHIT I AM PANICKING#May you live in interesting times LIKE I FUCKING GUESS?!?!#Can Amerikkka be not racist/sexist for long enough for us to save ourselves??#I guess we're about to fuck around and find out huh??????
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One moment in Y3 I'll never get over is Daigo, fresh out of coma, instinctively reassuring Mine with such tenderness. Yeah it made him feel more guilty, sure. But at that moment I was like "I get it, Mine. I now get why you're that obsessed". Doesn't make it better that Daigo is pretty pretty with a wonderful voice and gorgeous shoulders
this ask was so real and true and right and it still is but i am cackling a little at 'daigo's gorgeous shoulders'
#snap chats#wide daigo strikes again#on the real tho no wonder mine wanted to kill himself after that#like here he was about to kill daigo because. Hes Insane#and then as soon as daigo wakes up he rolls out of bed- uses the gun mine wsa gonna use on him#saves mine and kiryu and then without question is just '<:0 mine whats going on- are you ok <:0 we're ok now no need to worry :)'#and then he hit him with that loving smile and that gentle voice and. and yeah i wouldve jumped off the roof too#i could never forgive myself for almost killing a man as beautiful as that idc if i thought i was doing the right thing#mine this why we leave this typea shit to the doctors just WAIT DUDE#unless this really was a case where because of all the outside noise daigo woke up#since i know talking to coma patients can help with that and. well. probably was the most noise daigo's gotten in days#aww poor daigo didnt have anyone in his hospital room to keep him company this whole time#either that or mine really did just sit in dead silence looking at him. freak. but ok valid#its too early for daigo-loving hours <-this is a lie and if i ever say this again assume im an imposter
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Remember that time my German shepherd was attacked by the neighbor dog (she's okay) and I carried this overweight beast around on pure adrenaline like it was nothing. Got her to the emergency clinic, waiting in the lobby.
Suddenly realized the that the few people that were there who missed me carrying a 98lbs dog could stop staring at me.
I looked down to realize in true horror movie fashion i had been wearing a crisp white plain oversize tee shirt that was now covered in blood. Not just my shirt, it was all over but the shirt just made it look way worse than it was. I looked like I came out of a slasher film.
#it was a lot of blood but it was mostly just on me#she didnf lose enough for it to be threatening her blood levels were never a concern#her skin was torn up pretry bad but her muscles were okay#the worst was a fracture because the dog’s bite was so strong on her leg#my neighbors are irresponsible dog owners and the reason bullies get bad reps#Now my rescue gsd is even more traumatized and all my work to desensitize her to dogs went to shit#I used my savings to install a better fence so there hasn't been any chance of altercations since#he pulled my dug underneath the chainlength by her leg where they had bot dug a hole after a rain the precious night#but she's so freaked about this dog now even if he's not outside that she runs the length of the fence barking until she's hurting#she wont even stop when she's run herself ragged and her hips hurt I have to force her back inside she wont come inside when called now#fury talks
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#and i mean this in the most unkind way#doctor who hell#12doc hell#love michelle gomez but i want to hit moffat's characterization of the master to death with hammers#why would the master call himself MISSY this is just nonsense like no i'm sorry#and being so desperate for the doctor in a different kind of unhinged way that's like ONLY used on women is so vile#like yeah the master is always a Massive Freak about the doctor but this is only being written LIKE THIS bc she's a women now#moffat villains who give off the same rancid dogshit vibes#his run thus far in doctor who has been less shit than i'd anticipated i now see how people got tricked into thinking sherlock was good#it's less blatantly bad than i'd thought it be it's more insidious in it's dogshit writing but now that missy's actually Doing Things#i can see the seams more and more and not even doctor who being a trashy camp scifi hodgepodge can save it
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I think Tigs has dislocated (Hopefully nothing more than that, knock on wood) his shoulder and boy is my mother always a joy when it comes to these things
#I feel bad whenever I shit talk my mum bc she is a very nice person who has had a bad life so I never want to like. Make her seem bad#Bc she isn't#But she's such a fucking nightmare to deal with for anything like this- like 100% she will always take the animal to the vet#She will but she will literally only bitch and moan and whine about it the entire time tho#To the degree where half the time I dread having to say anything bc she makes it so fucking painful#And then she starts freaking out about this and that and the next thing and it's like#You have had untreated anxiety and depression for 18 yrs since dad died. You do this every other month- I have nothing to say anymore bc yo#Have never taken my advice about going to the fucking doctor so like ???? What am I meant to say#I'm making an appointment for the fucking cat and that's that- don't make this more painful than it already is for fucks sake#I'll use my savings if I have to but I need to at least acknowledge it with you bc someone with a car needs to help me take him
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being a schizophrenic th fan genuinely fucking sucks more than anything ever
#the way the Entire fanbase treats someone who is (supposedly) schizophrenic is fucking exhausting#TO BE CLEAR: i dont view it as like. an excuse for actions etc etc#but the fact that i feel the need to clarify that says enough about the way the fanbase acts about it#no a schizospec diagnosis (if thats what it even is) does not excuse grooming kids. believe it or fucking not.#and it also doesnt make someone inhuman or impossible to communicate with#and also you dont have to “save” or “fix” a grown man who needs an actual real world support system#that DOESNT JUST EXCUSE HIS ACTIONS (matt)#and ESPECIALLY you dont have to brute force send messages to him through weird and unusual channels that would like#very easily be seen as fucking threatening and scary to a schizospec person. if i had an account and a stranger was fucking#uploading shit to my account through a loophole to send me a message i would be freaking the fuck out#it would absolutely induce an episode#it just astounds me like. how a fanbase that is full of people who are like. autistic adhd etc etc. just absolutely refuses to treat#schizophrenia with respect or the care it deserves#also its even more frustrating seeing another schizospec person ALSO treating him like a zoo animal+studying him like a lab rat#just ignore the fucking guy block his account stop giving hiim attention stop talking about him#he uses the attention you give him to do the shit he does that ends up hurting people#can you people just acknowledge schizospecs as human and also use your fucking brain and stop interacting
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Naur but fr, a while ago I talked about buying one of the dw audio dramas & one of my friends was like "Would you pay money for supernatural audio dramas?" and I was like "Only if they include the devil having sex with sam" lmao
the cw could be making bank right now and they don’t even know it.
seriously, though, they could literally just go ‘eh these are as canon as the tie-in novels/comics (which is to say, only canon as long as you want them to be)’ and do whatever the hell they want with the universe. i would listen to a spn audio drama! i would! would they be any good? probably not lmao but id be fascinated by them!
(and a sidenote because i was thinking about it but also like. if the original actors didn’t want to come back to play their parts in audio dramas. well, first of all, half the characters are angels that have been played by multiple people already so it’s literally not a problem, give them a new vessel and go to town, but also also: like. just recast sam and dean. do it. give new people a chance to give their twist on the characters. i want to see what they come up with.
sorry lmao im just very, very pro-give these characters to new actors to get new takes on how they behave. i feel like that’s something you only get in shakespeare plays, star trek reboots, and the doctor being a new guy ever few years. it should be more common! less trapping actors in roles for decades and more giving new people turns at the wheel!)
#not to talk about the mcu but. that literally could have saved the mcu.#get rdj and chris evans OUT of there they didnt want to be there past like movie 3 and it showed!!!#if a new guy had shown up as iron man in civil war we literally would have had less of a problem about the ooc writing! because it would#have been a new guy! new take on the character! easier to get us onboard with this!#sorry. i think about this a lot.#anyway the spn audio drama versions of sam and dean should be played by two guys who have never been in a major project before and are#willing to do some freak shit on tape for our enjoyment. and thats all we need.#we shall recast castiel as a burned out corpse. not because misha died. we just do not need him to be employed. <3#ask
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That’s because they never wore helmets as kids
#for real though wear helmets#even if you don’t think you need them. wear them#the amount of times I’ve seen people saved from death by wearing a helmet is incredible#also very concerning because I should not have to see so many people nearly die my smacking their head into the group#one guy got an abulance called because he was ✨unresponsive✨#anyways yeah this is true#my dad talks about how he played in the canyon and would run around the Big Drop as a kid and wasn’t let out past the backyard fence#my mom (from Mexico) walked to a different town through the mountains#they feed Coca Cola to a circus bear that was in the area#they get freaked out if I don’t contact them with my location after the sun goes down#I live in the whitest out of the way neighborhood imaginable. if you end up here you are lost lost#the only danger is coyotes and rattlesnakes. which I guess is fair since child me would be more wowed than scared#but the points stands that this place is safe as fuck#in Mexico is a different story. the town my mom grew up in is deep in gang rivalry right now#I talk to my cousin and she’s like ‘so another one of my classmates/family friend got kidnapped/killed’#not all the time but enough that is something to note#I don’t know where I was going with this#it’s fine to be cautious but don’t talk shit about our generation. your the ones who raised us
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Ignore
#delete later#im so exhausted and stressed. theres such a lack of stability and its freaking me out SO much. im just constantly tense and waiting#for something terrible to happen. im starting to think that im not gonna get to go to the entomology thing ive been hoping#how i can't do things independently and i must have been forced into this abd rhen it'll get cruel towards my friends abd i cant#and my aunt is getting worse abd my parents are waiting for me to fail abd have to move bsck with them which i can't do bc#to go to for months bc ill probably need to use that time off for preparing to move. which sucks. ive been looking forward to it#i was letting myself get my hopes up and that was a mistake bc now im rly disappointed. im hoping i can go but honestly#idk if it'd be financially responsible. same with comic con. its in october so i can probably go but it might not be a financially#good idea. it just. the things i was counting on to be stable sources of joy are not stable anymore and that's making everything worse#and im tryinh to be positive but im so anxious. theres just so much. i need to think about packing and try to figure out#how im going to move 1-2 hours away. how am i going to coordinate with movers whilst having to get the train to meet them#im disabled and cabt help move things so only getting one person ro deliver worries me. movers arent insured to take ppl with them#theres just SO MUCH. And i can't view properties easily bc of work so im missing out on multiple places that ive been contacting#ppl about abd i couldnt line up enough for last week when i was off bc it was too short notice and i just. its TOO MUCH TOO MUCH#im overwhelmed. im trying to think of the food im gonna cook when im there ahd the armchair im gonna buy#im gonna eat so much fucking lamb and fish oh ny god im excited for THAT#i wany to just go for the shittiest place to at least have some stability and bc i still have yhat kernel of thought that i dont#deserve comfort but im trying to fight it bc i do. i deserve somewhere nice and its unfair on myself not to find somewhere nice#especially as ill be living alone. i cant go for places that have no natural light or are four stories up or are a mile away from the train#station bc that will wreck my mental health and i wont have ready access to socialising that can stabilise me. gotta be fair#to myself. but THATS PROVING REAL DIFFICULT#im doing good saving though so thats nice i guess. fuck me moving is expensive. moving when you've got zero kitchen supplies is#even more so. gonna be an Interesting first couple days in the new place.#it will be. very bad. they keep texting me asking about it and i have to be positive bc otherwise itll become a conversation about#field all that shit when im like this. i just cant. that requires so much fucking energy i dont have. and i wont move back#id frankly rather die. and trying to not say that and decline politely sucks. bc they get the look of#oh we're not good enough huh#and i can't field their fucking feelings. i either need a pause button or a fast forward. id take either one#so many of these tags ended up out of order whoops. but these arent meant to be read anyway#i just need to scream bc idk what else to do
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