#FOR US TO ACTUALLY GET IT BACK (which btw we didnt even have to leave them)

[kidfoundonstreets]

bruh my english teacher is such a bitch

[elainsgirl]

no cause im tired of everything.

I'm sick of people talking about gwyn like shes the most important character ever. like yall don't actually care about her. they only like her cause shes involved with a batboy which is ridiculous. ("pro gwyneth" like be so fr... we barely know anything about her??? Like I like gwyn but stop making stuff up about her and saying shes saving the world.) that girl didn't show any romantic feelings towards him, so stop forcing it. (not to mention they never talk about emerie... interesting)

why is azriel getting shipped with everyone?? "gwyn is azriel's mate!" "no, its eris" "no, its bryce" "no, its mor" "no, its rhys dead sister" I LAUGH SO HARD AT THESE CAUSE WHERE ARE YOU GETTING THIS FROM???? I bet if azriel breathes next to anyone, they will automatically assume its his mate! leave the guy alone, my gosh.

"his shadows hate elain" just shut up. like fr.

"elain can go to the spring court and be with tamlin while az gets with gwyn and lucien gets with vassa" BAHAHAHAHAH. bro i cant even say anything to this because its ridiculous.

"if az finds his real mate, he will leave elain in a hurry" BRO. why do you guys think this man world revolves around wanting a mate so badly???? yall think so low of him its weird. if he wanted a mate oh so badly... he wouldnt go for elain! get that in your dumb heads!

now with the bonus chapter (elain and az part) im iffy about it. its good at the start but rhys and az argument gave me the ick but I understand what he meant either way. I can see why people didnt like azriel here. but to call him entitled is just WILD! he wasnt wrong questioning the cauldron. like why is he having all these mate behaviors towards elain when she has a mate??? I'd question the cauldron, too. feyre was so real when she said "why not make them mates" because they lowk fit no matter what anyone says.

now this was really irks me. "3 brothers and 3 sisters is so cliche" cliche??? bestie- do you see what we are reading??? the answer to the riddle was "love" out of all things. shut up with that dumb excuse. we have never seen 3 brothers and 3 sisters yet- well I havent. im pretty sure most of you havent either. if you read the BOOKS, you will understand that sjm uses the word 3 a lot. this is just common sense, people love to twist stuff.

Now dont get me wrong, I'll go for elucien or elriel. I dont care. but these gwynriels made me dislike az and gwyn together. like I used to go along with it but now they force it so badly "READ THE BONUS CHAPTER" "DID YOU READ THE BONUS CHAPTER" "maKe suRe yOu rEad iT cArEfuLly" "he chuckled with her" "they glance at eachother" "az and gwyn are going to save the world together" "i hope nesta, emerie, gwyn and az leave and make their own court" < (I fr saw someone say something like this) sister... I literally cringe! just please stop.

btw elriels gwyn isnt evil. stop saying that.

im so sorry for this rant. it just had to be said.

lmfao the need to vent is so real. This fandom TESTS your patience at times.

I think one of my biggest annoyances with Gwynriel is the fact that Gwyn doesn’t even like Azriel that way. Instead of focusing on how far she’s come, her accomplishments etc everything seems to go back to Azriel. If you ever truly look At gwynriel theories and headcanons the focus is always on Az and Gwyn doesn’t have much of a story by herself, she doesn’t lead a story. She is a follower/tag along. I will always say this again and again: If she was that important to the point of having anything to do with the prisons, trove, TT/Gwydion she would have been introduced earlier on in the series. It’s that simple. She has nothing to do w the prison, Koshei or even the daggers/made objects. Everything about gwynriel is forced - from Gwyn and Az having feelings for each other to their plot. Barely anything of that ship makes sense when you truly start to unravel it.

Az is getting shipped with everyone except who he truly wants and thats just comical. I guarantee you, If Az interacted with any other woman - gwynriel shippers would split so fast and some will start shipping him with the new woman.

“His shadows hate elain” … why were they ready to strike Nesta all because she insulted elain? They also speak so can’t they literally just tell Az “hey man, we dont like elain”. Then part of this claim comes from the fact Elain made his shadows skitter which is something Az does himself.

I so want Elain to go to Spring and mention how she finds it stiffling/claustrophobic. Elain going to spring to live there is ignoring everything about her character and only focusing on the fact she likes flowers and by their own logic, Nesta should go to Day and Feyre to a more artistic court.

If Az soley wanted a mate and was so desperate for one - why on earth is he pining for someone WITH A MATE. It literally defeats the purpose of him getting a mate. Also its such a stilt to his character for him to want a mate and then get one. It doesn’t allow character growth and makes the idea of “mates” seem as a prize instead of this romantic connection. If he wanted a mate so badly, this man would be going after women with no mates. Not one that has a mate. The logic behind this arguement is so stupid,

Azriel’s bonus to me parallels Feyre’s whole scene where she questioned the cauldron because of Azriel. It was Sjms way of bringing it back and reminding us of it. Telling us “look! Another character is doubting elucien’s bond! Why is Az questioning the cauldron” etc. The only part of Azriel’s bonus where I got the ick aside from his and gwyns’ awkward conversation- is when he said Lucien doesn’t deserve Elain. I get where that statement was coming from but he isn’t someone to decide who deserves who. This is what doesn’t make sense: antis call Az entitled for simply WONDERING why Elain was given to Lucien, he hs made no move to break elucien up. He hs not forced anything onto Elain. He doesn’t dictate or control her interactions with Lucien, the fact he hadn’t planned a future for them either all show he is far from acting entitled. But eluciens needed a way to make Az seem bad and lucien better hence why latched onto this argument when it doesn’t make sense given what we know about Azriels character, his thoughts, actions and what he said in the bonus.

“3 sisters and 3 brothers is cliche” whilst reading a romantasy series ( a genre filled with repetitive cliches) by an author who claims to be the queen of cliches. Every single fated mates ending up together? Cliche. Omg the trainer and his trainee fell in love? How unique. Its not like that is also a popular trope. I cannot give you any book/s in which 3 sisters end w 3 brothers, I however can pull out multiple books with the fated mates/warriors/trainerxtrainee tropes.

Too bad. Mass loves the IC - There is no reason why Nesta/valkryies and Az would go to another court. Wait - but the night court is Azriels home. Its where he belongs, unlike Elain who has to leave…but now they want Az to leave too? One thing you can trust antis to do is be consistent with their inconsistencies. Honestly, I was open to the idea of gwynriel but genuinely none of their theories or HCs make sense. In a general sense gwynriel is a good ship sure but you can generally ship any two characters together from the series. It doesn’t mean it’s happening & they’ll be endgame.

Gwyn definitely isn’t evil. However I do think she has the potential to become morally grey which im all here for.

[justmesten]

About act 2

So this could be just yapping, the experience is still very fresh and I have to rewatch it to catch everything but. I feel a bit underwhelmed. The show up to this point did a great job of managing the different storylines and the causality but in this act it began to fall apart. I felt like some happenings were left unhandled or were resolved underwhelmingly. With that said this show is still an amazing piece of art, I absolutely love it, and some of the things I will say could very possible be resolved in act III. For example, at the end of act I we saw Caitlyn appointed commander, but in this act she didn't really do anything with it. There was a chance for character development through this yet all we saw were enforcers still being violent, Ambessa pulling the strings as it was expected, Maddie being a rebound for her I guess..? But the act didn't show how power could've changed her, what policies she would bring or what decisions she made. It's especially frustrating because they did it so well with Jayce last season. Not to mention she didn't really show how she felt after leaving Vi.

Ambessa showed her teeth in this act, a little more than she should've. She got a lot of screentime which she used to assert dominance so to say. I think it was a bit too much of her, she didn't really change that much, other character's could've used this time better. Time is the weakness of this season for me so far, they want to show so much, they only have 3 more episodes and yet they don't use it wisely. The Black Rose and Mel being an actualy magic user(which I speculated for 3 years btw its amazing) could've been shown in 2 scenes and still would've the same meaning and depth. This is also true for Singed to a decree, tho not that much, I enjoyed his scenes, and the reveal with his daughter. With more characters back in the final act I'm a bit worried about this.

For Vi's depressive period I would've expected more than the montage we already saw in the trailer, but I guess that's okay. They did a great job with the sisters finding out Warwick is Vander, finding his old hideout, expressing their emotions, I really liked that part. She and Jinx came to terms very quickly after hating eachother and fighting so much but I can accept that it was overshadowed by Vander being alive, given that was the cause of them braking apart in the begining. I didnt really get why she went into Ambessas camp, and why that being captured act was necessary, I know they mentioned a diversion but it was a bit weird for me. This is on Caitlyn more, I dont think her flipping sides was justified enough, we didn't see her frustrated with Ambessa or Singed.

Jinx's story took a 180 turn with her not caring anymore. I loved to see her relationship with Isha develop, how emotions, positive emotions came back to her. She even got in touch with Vi for Vander and from her perspective it made more sense, cause I think she let go of her hate in act I already. I loved how they stopped fighting when Vi hurt Isha, that moment empathizes that they never wanted to hurt innocents and children, but through their story it happened again and again. I can't wait to see her lose her shit again in act III because of the traume she yet again experienced.

Viktor's story didn't go the way I thought it would but with this ending it kind of makes sense. I don't think he's actually dead, he still has a role to play. With he's community ruined he'll choose another path which I'm excited to see. This community didn't really seem that great with everyone connected him like a hive mind, and also we've seen with Salo that anyone he healed went through personality changes which is really shady. I can't wait to get to know the difference between him and Jayce.

And Jayce my boy the hate you're about to recive, you're in for a rough time. I actually liked how his character made everything more complicated in the last episode, and that he killed Viktor without a word is just Wild. Cant wait to see.

Warwick has been teased for so long and it was worth the wait. He carried this act for me, the sheer distruction in the prison was enough. And they gave him emotion with Vander still being inside, but I think with Viktor's "passing" that's over. He's gonna become the monster we waited for.

What do you guys think?

They did my girl Sevika dirty, losing an arm again?! Poor woman fr

[sugar-omi]

Can't imagine how the boys would handle an angsty young teen. Not even if they're goth/emo, just really rude brats who says stuff like "whatever" or "you don't know me" stuff. I've met a lot of teens who were just rude for no reason or just flip out out of nowhere.

I see Baxter being a lil strict honestly, I mean I know some people hc as the "fun dad" and I agree but I kinda see him as strict dad too. Derek is def not taking the attitude well. I feel Iike Cove would have a hard time and try and be understanding.

cove: very awkward. doesn't know what to do at all. you two have to put your brains together and he runs to his dad like "wtf do I do." and then cliff reminds him cove WAS THAT TEENAGER.....

yeah eventually you work it out. you give them a lock on their door, headphones for those car drives so they can live out their angst, their favorite ice cream, and you leave the door open for whenever they come to you guys for a cry<333

baxter: throws the sass back at them sometimes. tries to be gentle though bc he doesn't wanna be dictator-strict, but sometimes slamming the door n yelling isn't acceptable.

constantly ends up taking his kid out for their favorite ice cream or restaurant bc he either sassed them back at the wrong time or said smth they didn't like even though it was meant to be helpful (times to stop speaking in riddles huh b-man)

derek: scared n confused LMAO tries to be helpful n nice but just gets iced out. isn't use to it since even nico was warmer at this age but he figures it out

you gotta remind him to give them space bc derek can be a bit overwhelming, but still do stuff w them bc then they'll get too deep in their teenage angst n think he doesn't love them which isn't true

oh he's freaking out too btw, runs to his parents bc hello?!??!

OR YOUR MOMS. omg derek/baxter/cove running to your moms bc Liz was pretty icy as a teenager so they run to them for advice n I just love imagining this big/put together man being comforted by 2 lil old ladies bc their teenager is being cold and angsty.

when they get rude though, is when all of em put their foot down. saying whatever and smacking your lips? slamming doors, ignoring them? sure you can get away w it to an extent but saying smth mean is when we need to sit down and talk, bc you can't say whatever you want to your family, it isn't happening.

which actually works bc those 3 are just big goofs. especially derek n cove, but naxter is funny bc he's still so dramatic yk. but seeing them so serious and angry straightens them up, especially cove. imagine COVE JAMES FUCKING HOLDEN yelling at you??? being STRICT??? yeah pretty scary stuff from your dad

baxter definitely drops the cool, calm, n collected act. all those big words? fancy words? fancy cryptic sentences? disappeared. he goes from fancy dad into civilian dad mode.

they're doing their best though. so please be nice to them bc they wanna make sure their kiddo/s never feel bad

ANYWAY THIS TURNED INTO SUCH A RAMBLE LMAO I DIDNT MEAN TO

[mysticalgardensandwich]

FEM ALIGNED PLEASE DNI!!

Promt: you (m/n) get home from school and because price adopted you when you get home it's at the base. One day school was just not it for you so you came home pissed and the team comforts you

M/n pov

I was about ready to generally kill someone, people and teachers all day have been yelling at me and looking at me weird, I have no fucking idea why but they are and it's annoying. I sit down on my bus not wanting anyone from the team pick me up today "hey you!" I sigh and turn to the group of people behind me "what" I don't want to talk to anymore people than I already have to so finding out what these people want will hopefully make them the last people I need to speak to. "Is it true that you got adopted by a military team?" Confused I nodded "yeah the captain was allowed to legally adopt me" they all started to giggle and laugh, rolling my eyes I turned back around and watched as the bus drove by place by place "are you sure they won't use you as an experiment, stupid lab rat, how did they even find you" I stayed quite and looking at them at all. It was finally my stop about a few minutes away from the actual base "go have fun doing tests LAB RAT!" I started walking kicking a rock as I don't not bothered to look up at all.

When I get to base the first person to greet me like normal is Ghost, or as I call him Si because well, we are close, duh wtf, anyways. I look and ghost and I think he can tell im not in a good mood, this was proven even more as I bumped into him not bothered to even apologize or help him up because he didn't expect it from me he ended up falling. I was walking to my room any recruits that was by me moved out the way.

Ghost pov

I didn't expect to be pushed into the ground today but I guess I should have been because m/n just stormed off "what's wrong with the lad?" I dusted my pants and turned back to soap who had asked the question "I don't know. Definitely something with school though" suddenly a newer recruit came up to us in a slight panic "Is l/n ok?? He's crying in his room and-" (btw l/n means last name if you didnt know💀) I felt worry bubble up inside worried for what he might have done to himself by now or what had happened while at school

Nobody pov

"we will go check on him" Soap and Ghost both shared a look before they went to go get Gaz and Price to check up on you, they all got to your room to hear you break something that sounded like glass so price's fatherly instincts kicked in and he opened the door and went to make sure you are ok but when he got close and you backed away teary eyed it made him pause "it's ok, can I make sure you didn't hurt yourself?" You shook your head and grabbed the closest item to you which was a a hard cover book "don't get close. Get out. Leave me alone." The hurt look in all of their eyes was unreal, price shook his head "we cant leave you alone. Your throwing stuff and you might get seriously hurt" you started to cry even more "m/n please. We can help with whatever feelings you might have right now" you continued to not let them near you.

"JUST GET OUT. I'M NOT YOUR LAB RAT. GET. OUT. I WON'T LET YOU NEAR ME, YOUR JUST GOING TO USE ME FOR EXPERIMENTING" you threw the book and started to scream at them all to get out. So they listened for once and stepped out the room in shock by what you had said "does he..... Does he think we are using him as an experiment.... Oh god.... What did-" they all sat outside your room listening to you cry and mumble stuff they couldn't make out into sentences, finally your door slowly started to open a bit and there was a hushed whisper "um...hey pa...can you... Can um... Help me... I cut my hand on the pot I broke....if you don't that's fine it's just.... It hur-" price instantly opened his pocket and came towards your door "of course I'll help you buddy, that's what I'm here for isn't it? To help people. Especially my son" slowly the door fully opened and you showed price the cut on the palm of your hand and he took the bandages along with some alcohol wipes "it's going to burn" he then started to clean it while you sucked in a breath from the pain "and there we go. It should be good in a few days maybe a week or so" you nodded and looked down at the ground.

"I'm sorry.. For.. My lash out... If you want to make me clean around the base or help clean up after practice and stuff I will....i'd understand if you even wanted to ma-" there was a little bit of laughter and you look at them confused "you did nothing wrong and I won't make you clean up anywhere. Other than your room. But you were simply trying to deal with emotions which is difficult when you are young. We weren't and aren't mad at all. We were just worried about you" he opened his arms and you hugged him tightly tears spilling over again

(Time skip to dinner time)

You were allowed to have your phone out during dinner sometimes and because of what had happened a few hours ago they let you have it out while eating, you were clearly texting a very long and thought out text to whom the team had no idea who "not to introduce bud but who are you texting? That's a long time you've been texting and you haven't stopped" you stopped and looked up confused "oh my friend who lives in Florida" (idk my bff lives there so I'm baseing it off of that 😭😭 btw I have no idea if the base is in the US or in the UK bc yk.....ghost price and gaz and British.. So.... Don't murder me😭) they all were happy you have someone other than them to talk to but they were also confused on what was so important or interesting to type that long "aboutttt.... What exactly..." You looked at your phone typeing a few things before pressing send then turning your phone towards them Ghost taking it carefully "it's long so while you read that I'mma finish eating" they all nodded and surrounded Ghost to read the conversation

(Blue crayon eater is your bff btw and u/n is your username)

🌈blue crayon eater🌈: hey how have you been?

U/n: not that good to be honest, eating dinner rn but they let me have my phone so here I am

🌈Blue crayon eater🌈: you wanna vent to me about it?

U/n: as long as it's ok with you then yeah that would be nice

🌈Blue crayon eater🌈: ofc you can talk to me, send as long of a text as your want and I'll still read it

U/n: thanks dude, give me a bit I'm going to type a bunch now 💀

🌈blue crayon eater🌈: ok 👍

U/n: so today on the bus a group of kids asked me if it was true that I was adopted by Price and the team and when I told them that I was they all laughed and called me a lab rat and it hate me feel fucking terrible but I also know that they don't know about how my parents literally left me in the middle of a building that they knew damn well was going to be attacked and that if it wasn't for Soap finding me while making sure all enemy's were gone and taking me out of that shit hole before it got blown up. To make matters even worse this practically destroyed my confidence to ask the team and Laswell If they would even show for bring a hero to lunch but now I feel like they are to busy or wouldn't care to show up for me, I just wish that kids werent such shit and that the team isn't mad at me for getting angry

🌈Blues crayon eater🌈: Maybe talk to them about it? I'm sure that they would make sure that they can show up for it, they love you and if they didn't love you then they wouldn't have saved you or comforted you when they broke down today

You were looking at you food not bothering to look up at the team scared of what they would say "I can ask Laswell if we are free tomorrow, we should be because from what I remember we have nothing going on" you nodded still not looking up "and we were never mad at you, also if would would like we can talk to the school about those kids" you smiled and nodded looking up at them now "thank you guys, I love you so much" you got your phone back and said thanks to you friend then told them you were going to finish eating.

(Time skip to the lunch thingy)

You were in your science class when the teacher got a call and obviously had to pick up the phone, what confused you was when it was the office calling you down so you get a pass leave your stuff and start walking to the office to see what they need from you or who's here for you. What you didn't expect was the team (still in gear and looking absolutely terrifying) and Laswell "what are you guys doing here? Don't you have work or something of the sorts?" Laswell shook her head "nope, I cleared our schedule for today and now we're are going to be here for lunch with you and we told the office about the kids and they said it's fine for us to be in the back of classes to make sure nobody trys anything" you smiled and hugged her "thank you so much"

When it came time for lunch the team had brought you your favorite food so you all sat at your normal lunch table ignoreing all the looks and the people talking "did you all purposely show up in gear or??" They all smiled and shook their heads "laswell honestly just told us to get into the car and that we are going to be at your school" you laugh and continue to eat. Everyone decided it would be nice to go outside and walk around chatting and enjoying the company, this was until the same kids that had called you a lab rat had seen you with the team and walked up to you all laughing making to uncomfortable and your mood change which the team took notice of instantly "hey m/n are these the people you mentioned?" You nod slightly "nice to meet you I'm a friend of his" you feel Simon get closer to you by the look on the groups faces "wow you mask is so cool! Why do you wear it? Insecu-" "you shouldn't ask that...its private and personal information you-" you were cut off by a slap to the face "nobody was talking to you Faggot" (I'M GAY I CAN SAY THIS BTW DON'T GET MAD!!) your eyes went wide as you felt the burning hot flesh, suddenly you we pulled back and behind the team laswell making sure you were ok "don't you ever, and I mean EVER lay a single finger on my son" you had tears in your eyes and your legs felt weak making you fall to the ground laswell making sure you didn't fall to hard "hey, hey, m/n are you alright?" You saw one of the teachers start to walk over to you and price looked at her "what happened here?" Prince looked at the kid and then back at the teacher "this kid hit my son and called him a slur in a hurtful way, this kid and his friend group has also called my son a lab rat just because he was adopted by a military team" the teacher yelled at the kid and their group making them go to the principles office.

Meanwhile laswell was still trying to calm you down, the team turned and saw your current state and all went to comfort you "hey hey, m/n, breathe, take deep breaths" Price started to do breathing exercises while everyone else whispered quite encouraging words.

I GAVE UP AT THE END I RAN OUTTA IDEAS 😭🙏🙏. I ALSO DIDN'T EXPECT THIS TO BE THIS LONG BRUH. anways-

[helluvabossrewrite45]

Always sunny anon replying: funny you mentioned Bojack being I believe Viv has said in the past on her twitter that she wants HB to be the next BH yet seems to not understand what makes a show like Bojack work to begin with. (I'll admit I haven't watched Bojack Horseman yet. I've been sleeping on it way to long tbh).

Yeah absolutely. Viv doesnt seem to get that bojack worked in not only in its ability to make people like bojack while not excusing his actions, but also how its structured as 'comedy turned drama'.

(major spoilers for bojack horseman btw, you can just skip to the end/the last paragraph of this post)

Now in bojack's first season, it was a comedy pretty early and stayed that way till later down the season and it continued to grow naturally to a drama (though the comedy is still there of course). Helluva boss though, seems to be all over the place as just after episode 1, episode 2 takes a more serious/dramatic approach when the show is meant to appear at first to be a dark humoured comedy, along with most of the season not even sticking to its original premise, instead focusing more of set ups and stolitz drama that both didnt go much of anywhere (striker might be an exception though i feel like the end with him could be another set up). What wouldve worked is that episode 1 - 4 is entirely on the original premise for helluva boss and the rest would be more serious (with strikers introduction, the agents and stolitz drama) with season 2 continuing the more serious approach. Hell, if their gonna include stolas family drama, why not portray it as comedy at first, then use it later on to portray it more seriously. Like in season 1 of bojack where he and sarah lynn slept with each other, its being treated as comedic. But when he revealed that he slept with her in the interview, its being treated completely seriously and use it to highlight bojacks problem from him with young women and his issues with accountability, episode 2 could portray the cheating as comedic (with stella throwing objects while rambling while stolas dodges them like a dodgeball game with octavia initially being presented as the typical 'lonely stuck in the mud teenager' but we still get hints of her being more than that later down the episode) and while it ends on them leaving the festival in an awkward comedic way, that would used in seeing stars where octavia vents about her family drama, including on how neglectful stolas has become as a father from the festival incident. Im kinda surprised viv didnt consider to use it because it would be a perfect tool for helluva boss to use.

Another reason why bojack worked compared to helluva boss is its characters. While bojack was written well, the rest of the characters (especially women) shine through and we get to see more of who they are overtime. We dont really get much on that with helluva (especially the women), sure we get their backstories though we dont really have much depth if that make sense. Like when we compare todd to moxxie, todd's deal is that he's extremely helpful and he actually have stuff going on for him, its only bojack thats holding him back so when he finally distance himself from bojack, not only is it consistent but its also not repetitive, instead we get to know more about todd, seeing his relationships, discovering his asexuality etc...hell, he even has his own episode where he learn to make time for himself too instead of always helping out everyone. Moxxie has an arc of overcoming his weakness but the thing is, it repeats the same arc that it can get tiring to watch. What would work for him is that he slowly develops him overcoming his weakness instead of it just being repeated (like maybe further snapping at blitzo or confess that he considers quitting) Its a real shame too because him being close to morally good than morally grey or bad (which i predict thats what most of hells beings would be) opens a gate to a lot of possibilities for him as a character like why he took the job, how he met his wife, how he views the world around him etc...but they clearly didnt know what to do with him especially when season 1 wasnt even properly planned (as viv literally admits this on twitter too) so its why he as a character feels stagnant. But a bigger comparison however, has to be the women in the shows. People tend to praise the show for how it writes its women characters, often from diane and princess caroline. They're shown to be as messy and complex as men like bojack in the show though other women characters had their time to shine like hollyhock, kelley, gina, penny, bojack's mother etc...Its clear that bojack writes both men and women well in the show. Helluva boss on the other hand, is quite unbalanced in its writing for men and women. Specifically with the men having more variety and generall knowledge about them than the women. Like millie and loona, despite being major characters, have very little depth especially with millie who wouldnt even be a character if we remove her from moxxie. And even with the other women characters, they dont have much depth either (or at last we dont get to see that depth often like with verosika), they all in some way are in the roles for men characters (octavia and loona being there to establish the good in stolas and blitzo or stella and verosika being there to establish to either be the villain or to show a part of the man's past) Its very clear that viv favours men characters than women as alastor and angel dust having more going on than charlie, the main character herself. I mean, both shows are technically character driven and to be character driven, your gonna have to make sure your characters can equally shine on their own instead of one having more depth than the other.

To put it shortly, i dont think viv really gets why bojack was successful to audiences to begin with and in turn, failed to achieve that success with it being how she structures her show for the 'comedy turned drama' style being all over the place when bojacks was of natural progress and her imbalanced/poorly planned writing of men and women characters where it wasn't an issue in BoJack

[iamunabletothinkofablogname]

Oo maybe 6? For the ask game :O :D

i treid sleeping i swear- anyways--

Uh this triggered something long, SHIT , you don't have to read it lol sorry QWQ MY DREAMS ARE MOVIES ATP AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA alr well it was a little weird but bassically: me and my fam [even my dad for some reason but not my lil'est sis] were in a barn, and there were a lot of people there also sick, my dad was really sick [to the point where he was laying down, unable to open his eyes], the most sick. He was on one of the hays in the corner, the only one without doctors around him for some reason I was at the entrance of the barn area so I walked forward a bit and I saw a pig/white dog [can't remember], and I walked up to it cause why not. There were 2 men also next to the animal, 1 of them was js there so i dont remember him well, but the other one looked like litterally straight out of the 1890's, he had a tophat and a walking stick for some reason lol. I looked at the animal and made some kind of remark [i forgor, sorry, my memory is shit and i'm writing this at night, probably will continue in the morning], the man laughed and [im going to translate it but it might not make sense, since it was in arabic, which is something i rarely dream in?] said "remember that people and animals are the same [/neg, as in, animalistic], don't view them any different". I just nodded and then walked away, exploring the rest of the place. [although i believed the info] It was mainly just me like looking at the sick peeps and i saw the pig/dog running/jumping around from area to area, also looking at the sick people, pretty quickly, but they still never went to my dads area. [idk why but that was an important detail in the dream lol]. So after i finish inspecting and stuff, my mum tells me we need to go somewhere and we needed to go get stuff [she wasn't specific, and again, it makes more sense in arabic]. So we go, leaving the middle sibling as she became sick and a little tired as well, and the dream then skips to when me and my mum come back, my mum is holding a plastic bag filled with stuff i didnt know and im js holding chocolate [granted, i ate chocolate before bed so that may have affected it lol], but when we came back the place was mostly empty, only my dad in the corner [it was very far away and barely noticable but he was there, it was a really big place, more than 100m fs], and my sister in the middle-ish front of the place, next to a doctor in the barn and yk the docters stand in hospitals that they wheel around? with a screen? yeah she was next to that. My mum was mad at the doctor cause she was like 'oh as soon as we left, she got sick, it's the doctors fault, blah blah blah', and she started being angry at the doctor. After hearing my mum yap for a bit i js went up to my sister and she was very tired and she looked very sick, i bassically chilled with her, and we were talking as i ate my choc bar. I thought she was going to die in the dream but at the end she didn't, so yippee! Then another time skip happened and we were now all sitting at the side area of the barn and sitting on hay [btw i've never actually lived in a barn? or been to one that looked like that lol], and the doctors came up to us and were like "Oh yeah your husband [they were talking to my mum], died". and my mum deadass turned away from him and then the vibe suddenly was off [anxiety, it got like a scarier feeling for some reason], and she said "But his soul is still alive". I looked at her, then at his place, where his body was still there, but the body was dead, and a bad vibe hit me [idk how else to explain feelings help] and i said "His body is dead but his soul is still alive, he's alive" And then the dream fucking ended MY DAD ISN'T DEAD AS FAR AS I KNOW???

[ur-friendly-neighborhood-simp]

What were those theories about atsv you mentioned in the post with my ask? It's the Daily Yappathon™ so feel free to talk as much as you want :3 I'm all ears or eyes since I'll be reading this and not listening

OH YESSSSS >:]

so, miguel is wrong. just, dead wrong.

first of all, hes a fucking psychopath. he was stalking the other miguels family and when he died, he could replace him perfectly and no one noticed. and hes delusional, like bro, its not your life or your daughter, and just because you got attached to them doesnt give you the right to act like a psycho. if you want a family, download tinder or smth

second, i get that he was a little bit nice to miles in the beginning (even though he threw a trash can at him), but here he is.

???????????????????????????????????????????????

who gave you the right to act like that? chasing a teenager on all fours and choke slamming him into a fucking train and repeatedly calling him a mistake just because he refused to be part of your fucked up fake sustem?

because the canon is basically murder. letting people die "because they have to" is murder. and seriously, before the spider society existed, who took care of the canon? when miguel made the spider society, he also made the rules and he also made the canon. hes fighting a villain that he created.

also, miles is not an anomaly. if he was, his universe would have collapsed when the spider bit him. because thats what the supposed canon says, anomaly = universe falling apart. and yet, 1610B is very very stable. you know which universe did collapse?

miguel is projecting his problems onto everyone else. miles isnt the original anomaly, miguel is. and he knows that, but hes too emotionally immature to understand what 2+2 is.

miguel blames miles for everything, when nothing is actually his fault. miles didnt start the collider or kill peter or create the spot or anything. if you look into it, you understand that even though it seems that its his fault, it isnt. was miguel too bored to look into it? maybe.

& hes a drug addict. rapture is the most addictive drug the universe and hes addicted to it. whats 1+1 again?

from what i understood, it was jess' idea to save gwen in the beginning of the movie (also we stan mother jess 🙏), miguel was very hesitant to save gwen, which means he was full on going to leave her there. and he neglected her. and he sent her back. to her father. who pulled a gun on her. bro, you cant only take care of the people that comply to your system. its giving government

i get that he has trauma, but like, so does everyone else. peter b has trauma, miles has trauma, gwen has trauma, hobie has trauma, everyone in the society has trauma but you dont see them abusing minors. miguel is the only using trauma as an excuse to be a horrible person.

also, i have strong reasons to believe that jeff dying wasnt miles' canon event. i mean, it was, but not 1610 miles'. when the go home machine read miles' dna, it sent him to E-42, because thats where the spider that bit him was from (which was ohnn's fault, btw. its not your spider bro put it back). and thats what probably happened when miguel was seeing miles' "canon events". jeff dying was miles 42's canon event, and it happened. like, the one is fatherless and the other is uncleless. why does one have to be both uncleless and fatherless? bffr.

basically, miguel to me is this: "oh, look at me, im miguel ohara, im the leader of the spider society and that makes me 200% better than you, nothing is my fault ever, everything is your fault, im a literal fucking psychopath, id rather beat a teenager up than admit that im wrong, my ego is the size of the atlantic ocean and im a furry who doesnt know non-violent communication. grr 👹"

and im not a hypocrite, if miles had done something wrong, i would be able to realise that. like, "miles is a great character but thats where he made a mistake". but he didnt do anything wrong. he didnt know that the canon existed, he only wanted to save his dad.

and i know that if the roles were reversed, if miguel was the one who couldnt save someone he loved, he would do the exact same thing. and so would everyone else in the society, who took miguels side. like, didnt your moms teach you "dont treat people the way you dont want to be treated"??

and it pisses me off so much when people defend miguel, first of all youre defending an abuser and second you dont have any good arguments.

1. "miles shouldnt have ran" thats victim blaming. and seriously, youre telling me that if you saw this

chasing you, you wouldnt have ran? bffr.

2. "he has trauma, thats why hes aggressive" i already explained that before, but trauma isnt an excuse to be a horrible person.

yeah, there are a lot of shit arguments ive seen over time but i dont remember all of them.

also, hes not even hot. not that him being hot would excuse his actions, but then id partly understand when people liked him. but NOW? girl, he has 0 good angles and he looks like he hasnt showered in 3 months. you only like him because hes tall and has muscles and speaks spanish. have some self-respect

i wanted to say another thing but ive talked too much already lmao

[misterradio]

house of leaves has my mind blown at such random stuff. page 97 has a check mark in the corner.

[i'll add random other musings below]

notation 127 references a real book which is even on archive dot org..!!! and it says to check out a diagram But you need to log in to view the book. AAGHH!!

page 119 it is now time to be confused on how to read this 👍

nevermind the box is just all one long footnote. and the backwards box is like a reversal of the previous box.

"this is what happens when you hurry in a maze. the faster you go, the worse you are entangled"..... UH OH !

the footnotes along the sides are just BUILDING NAMES?? and then ARCHITECTS ??????? i do really like the cyclical nature of these notes, one makes u flip thru several pages and then you have to turn the book upside down and flip back thru the same pages. the last note in this series is right at the 2nd page in this sequence but along the side. makes me think of. a spiral ::-) makes me smile.

im just now realizing some of these notation marks are letters instead of numbers....X appears several times (that footnote is on page 107) but theres also like, LL (but if the first L was reversed)? and this one is F (page 122). not sure if there is a meaning here

page 127 guys this is scary

(page 151) "I was sorry to hear he disappeared. Do you know what happened to him?" HE WHAT?????

(page 620) okay i decided to read some more letters from (checks her name) Pelafina and. this is one is. ::-(

okay i finished her letters and wah........... sad. i wonder what was the one jewelry johnny kept from her.

(page 154) i already forgot what these different names were for ermmm lol. great hall and antechamber. i forgor

(page 159) the fact that the stairwell was around 13 miles long for Roberts' crew and then for Navdison its 100 feet.... LOLLLL F--K the explorers in particular

(page 192) YAY JED and wax !!! i never thought id be so so happy to see them again. yayyy. but now getting out is the next obstacle.. F--K OFF I CANT BELIEVE HOW SOONI SPOKE f--k this book

SICKENIINNNNGGGG!!!!!!!

(page 263) I LOVE THAT there are occasional emails from people after the 1st printing and someone says "what was all that crazy stuff in the introduction about guns and blood?" THATS WHAT IM SAYIINNGGGGG

(page 272) this makes me think that the stairwell is analogous to a throat..

(page 305) once again. witnessing the staircase lengthen and groan. makes me think it is literally swallowing navy.

(page 318) im so so glad wax survived YAY

(page 320) this made me get up and start pacing and smiling. like. this house wants navy so bad. SO BAD

(page 326) JOHNNY BECOMES SELF AWARE THAT HE A FICTIONAL CHARACTEr (scary)

btw i did find ouf the letters used in notations are actually symbols bc there is a photo of a graph of them on the inner cover. i dont actualy know how to look up what they are called at all tbh. theyre like. aircraft related.

(page 342) bruh this is new and scary. fhe house's shifting horror now extending beyond the imposible hallways but into the main house ...... what the......

(page 397) everyone in this book is so FREUDIAN !!!! like all the psychology is so fruedian i think.

(page 402) im so fascinated by these dream scenes i didnt expdct this book to really have a dream scene but there u go ^^__^^ im sad the promised third dream is missing......

OH YEAH BABY WE ACTUALLY HAVE A MINOTAUR PRESENT also in a dream scene. EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR A MINOTAUR PRESENCE

(page 406) this is some like. reverse tma thing. you know how in tma everyone who gives a statement to jon has nightmare of him. this is like what if jon did something to absolve everyone of their nightmares. huh. (also i havent gotten past this part i dont even know what navidson Does back in the house yet.........)

OH I JUST REALIZED THE SKETCHES IN APPENDIX II ARE JOHNNY'S. he mentioned doodling on any scraps of paper he had like mail and i was like heh. just like in the appendix. OH WAIT

i love that tgis chapter does NOT end in a period and ends with an open-ended sentence that segues into the next chapter. thats so neat ::-) idek if navy is still alive like wtf i dont know yet SHHH shhhh

(page 425) the dread this is imbuing in me. the floors tilting slightly wherever navy goes to guide him along. youre at the mercy of this house now..

(page 465) WHAT THE ? THIS BOOK IS WITHIN THISBBOOK? (navidson has a book titled house of leaves) WHAT?

(page 468) this desolation almost made me cry somehow . maybe logcially its not the worst thing thats happened in this book but the nothingness is crushing

this part makes u turn the book around a lot and i really did get a sense of dizziness while reading bc i realized i didnt know whether the text i was reading was really along the bottom of the page or what... also im still so tripped up that they mention this book by name, even say how many pages it has, and that 'maybe some of the pages are hard to read'. bro.

the song on page 479 is apparently "when johnny comes marching home" which i had to look up but thats where the tune of that song the ants go marching one by one comes from???? u learn something new every day.

i like that the footnote on page 488 is another of those aeronautic symbols (theres a chart of some of them on a collage in the back) and this one means "heavily injured, need a doctor"...............

(page 527) "and whenever she laughs the notes sing a call to Victory" STARTS BAWLING

okay i done YAYYYYYYYYY AAAUUUUUHHHHHHHHHGGGGHHHHHHHHHH i have yet to finish the appendices....

[rollercoasterwords]

(this is from marxismlupinism btw just sending an anon cause still shadowbanned + dont want my r/s blog tied to my main blog anyway)

lmao if only my followers were your followers literally idk why my anons r so mad im just stating the established party line of the blog they chose to follow...

literally every online community ive been in youve been able to say you think the community has XYZ problem and people could discuss the problem and suggest solutions honestly baffling that peoples response to someone saying the hp fandom is transphobic is to go "no it's not" instead of, idk, either trying to make it less transphobic if you think it's salvageable or leaving it if you think it's unsalvageable. the only communities ik that would respond to an accusation of transphobia w denial rather than taking trans people's concerns seriously are, well, actually overtly explicitly transphobic communities lol... and the people claiming they "engage critically" are very clearly not if their response to criticism of the hp fandom is to be defensive—if you engage critically with something that means taking seriously good faith criticism of the thing you engage critically with. like i "engaged critically" w hp/rs for the past 2.5 years and i have never ever gotten defensive at someone criticising hp or its fandom (esp since like... almost all the people criticising hp or its fandom are trans and im not gonna go harass another trans person for being understandably upset at ppl engaging w transphobic media lol).

hp fans (including tme trans hp fans—and, btw, we're well aware there are some transmasculine hp fans, the rest of the trans community just think they suck and are losers lol and i can't imagine that the transmasc hp fans aren't aware of this fact unless they just dont interact w other trans people outside the hp fandom at all) will criticise hp and jkr while believing that the hp fandom itself is above criticism. this does the dual work of distancing themselves from harry potter/jkr, which even they cannot defend/pretend is not bad, while also absolving themselves of all responsibility for any transphobia & transmisogyny they perpetuate or engage in. it's honestly a deeply immature way of engaging with media as well as one that logically falls apart under any scrutiny—firstly, if you accept that hp and its author are deeply bigoted, isn't it just logical that its fanbase would share the politics of the source media? secondly, this is just empirically false lol. there didnt always used to be basically no trans women in the hp fandom—i myself used to be friends with several back in the old days—but most transfems left the fandom in 2020–2021 bc of jkr's increasing transmisogyny. and speak to any of the transfems who did leave at that time and they can tell you their firsthand experiences. like, i really dunno how you can claim the hp fandom isnt transmisogynistic without just outright saying that you think most trans women are crazy and making shit up when they say they dont want anything to do with hp or its fans.

anyway ill stop writing essays in ur inbox now rae xoxo love ya have a nice day!

hi laura <3 yeah truly i think it is so weird that someone would choose 2 follow a blog on tumblr.com which clearly states "i don't like hp/hp fandom" and then get mad when that blog makes a post saying. "i don't like hp/hp fandom." babe why r u at the criticizing hp fandom store if u don't want hp fandom criticism....

and yeah i've talked before on my blog abt how like. i do not think we can "separate" fandom from jkr + the inherent shittiness of hp + my personal stance is that i think if u are engaging with hp fandom in 2023 u should at least be prepared to acknowledge + address the fact that u are engaging w a fundamentally conservative piece of media that is rooted in horrible politics, bc if u don't fully understand how jkr's politics are steeped throughout the franchise then it is much more likely that u will just be. absorbing + perpetuating them.

i think something that gets left out of a lot of conversations abt jkr even when discussing how shitty she is within hp fandom is the fact that like. yeah she's broadly transphobic, but she is specifically transmisogynistic, and the politics + policies she endorses are most targeted + harmful towards trans women. in my personal experience thus far in hp fandom i've encountered a lot of tme trans people, and i think there can be this tendency to go "well i'm trans and i know so many trans people who have carved out a space in this fandom that is super affirming + positive for ourselves, so obviously there is no transphobia here" and like. bc of the strong emotional connection to what people view as a safe queer space it can feel like an attack or whatever when someone goes "ok but. have u considered transmisogyny." or just whenever someone is like. rude/mean/cunty in their criticism of hp--but like. tbh as tme trans people i just think it's more important to recognize that many other trans people (and especially tma trans people) have a reason for being rude/mean/cunty in their criticism of hp and even if it hurts ur feelings it's more important to actually think about where that critique is coming from then to get upset bc u feel like it wasn't phrased nicely. at the end of the day just bc a space feels safe 2 u does not mean it is going 2 feel safe 2 everyone!!

[peri]

suicide tw a little later in the post, kinda heavy, kinda long. sorry i just need to talk about this

i was on youtube yesterday while trying to calm down from spiraling, and before i could find a video i wanted to put on, a 9 year old video my brother posted popped up. it didnt have any more than 10 views. knowing it'd be bittersweet, i clicked.

i was in 90% of the videos he posted. we'd be playing everything together. gaming videos, of course, if you dont know my brother, he's a gamer first person second. but in a well-adjusted way lol. he's like, really good at every game he plays and can beat them really quickly.

on one hand, it was really weird seeing my old self, even in video games. my typing style, the name i used, my character styles, etc. on the other, seeing my brother, young and so close to me, typing slow, awkward... it made me smile.

he and i used to be really close. we'd do everything together. he ... looked up to me. he talked to me. these days we've drifted. we don't ever text unless its a birthday, and then its just to say happy birthday, no conversation. i don't think we've had an actual conversation since i left. but even before then, the last time we really talked was when i was heavily suicidal and opened up about that to him finally. this was in late 2019, i believe.

he was caring, understanding, said he's struggled with it himself in the past, told me everything. and he said he would always be there for me.

it.. broke my heart, one night. we were all drinking, and he ended up getting emotional but none of us knew why. until eventually he started crying and just calling my name over and over. "oh, [deadname].... [name], [name], [name].... [name]! [name]! [name]!" it ripped my heart out, and just recalling it is painful. i knew exactly why he called my name. he was scared. he thought i was going to kill myself, and soon. and to be fair, at that point, i thought i was going to as well. i didn't tell him that, but he knew.

i'm crying lol. no one else ever knew why he did that. but i did. he was drunk out of his mind, so i ended up walking him back to his room and putting him to bed. he made me sit on his bed until he fell asleep. he fell asleep fairly quick, as he was very drunk and out of it. but he didnt want me to leave his side, so i stayed a little longer anyways.

that was the last time we were ever truly close. i wonder if he remembers that.

during my visit back to texas last year, i asked if he was mad at me. if he was ever upset that i left. he said no, he would never hold that against me. which was nice. but it did mean that the reason we drifted was just... for nothing. i mean, dont get me wrong, we'd been drifting for longer than that, the last few years i lived with him, he stayed alone in his room most of the time, and i never knew what to say. he's always been awkward, quiet, anxious, so talking wasnt easy. and i guess growing up made that feel impossible.

he eventually got a girlfriend, after years of me questioning if he was even into the idea of dating and romance at all lol, and she ended up living with us. im glad for her, coz she really turned his life around. but it did mean that i saw him even less. he was occupied with her.

theyre still together btw. his first ever relationship and its been years. good for him.

but anyways... i guess all of this just to say i miss him. i never thought we'd drift. it's hard to think about. hard to acknowledge.

looking back at those old youtube videos made me face that again. he was so young. so happy. so enthusiastic.

he had no idea what would happen.

[petorahs]

pq2 thoughts after finishing it!:

i think. it is a g. game. it is a persona game i will admit!

no but srs i think its good if youve never played a persona game which i assume is why its on 3ds only. it really does feel like discount persona with all of the last three cast thrown in? and some of the gameplay improvements (this game's gameplay aged better than fes and p2's LMAOO) i guess its a compromise to reach fans who've never actually played the main games cause they dont own a playstation console or something.

at the same time it makes no sense for "new fans" to play because you need at least some background knowledge of the prev characters and plot to care.

in my case i knew everything abt p3 and p5, only osmosis knowledge of the plot of p4 so i ended up using the p4 cast the least in my playthrough :( so theres that. not worth playing if u dont care abt the other casts imo

...so we agree the characters are the selling point here, its advertised as a mega crossover and whatever but. people complaining that theyre "watered down" to base traits or even traits they didnt have in the first place are Right LOL except for a scant few characters who get a lot of expansion. but for the most part none of them are themselves (like yusuke... 😔.... akihiko.... aki not as bad as yusuke but they have the same writing problem)

no one expects the characters to rly individually shine when theres so many ofc, the game even pokes fun at the "limited screen time" joke but like. what else is there to this? 🤔 well

character interactions! those were good. everyone expected detective princes meetup to be really great but i loved the other pairs like haru and mitsuru (heirs with distant dads...), and the PQ OC girl with futaba :] (introvert friends!!)(theyre like sucrose and collei in this year's windblume if you go there)

speaking of akechi though. yea he's part of the list of characters that surprisingly did not get butchered and in fact expanded upon in this game. aside from akechi it's P3 FeMC.

others i liked were P5 MC (his dialogue choices are SO out there), shinjiro aragaki, ken amada, yukiko amagi maybe yosuke hanamura and P4MC but their personalities just stayed the same instead of getting possible new insight?

i liked velvet room guys too theyre goated frfr! yes including marie. even i was surprised (probably cause akechi gets to poke fun at her and the twins hdjdhdhd)(cute)

i cant put P3 male MC anywhere cause i will always be biased towards him 😔🫰 (he was great btw)

but the crow character expansion in particular intrigued me and leads me to accept this game as canon like some ATLUS USA reps intended. akechi: stripped away of his obligations is a cunning, introspective and overall respectable young man and the game showcased all of his core traits well. he purposefully isolates himself from the main group and gets called out on it, consistently is the one that makes the most sense in discussions, gets various little moe moments... he honestly seems like he doesnt know what to make of all this forced bonding with strangers but he cant help to indulge anyway. 😭 he's vocal in discussions about their plans but a passive :) face in the background during fun moments until he's addressed or curious. the way he furthers the narrative along like they wouldnt get as far as they did without him i feel. but between all of that he was the main character to me.

the end scene where he seems regretful that he has to leave and go back to his revenge plot.... hurts. because for all intents and purposes we just saw akechi if he didnt have all that baggage and was just allowed to exist as himself. a smart guy with a whole life ahead of him. but he didnt choose that.

😔

oh god that emoji is huge but anyway. FeMC!! ^_^ the problems of toxic positivity being addressed in her arc was great. they really tried to give her as much love as possible without being too happy (persona games tend to make their characters suffer anyway to even things out) and it was great! her writing reminds me of kasumire's mental illness but with less romance tease pandering.

ah yes and the obligatory Persona side game OC... hikari and nagi. honestly wished they didnt exist as much as i liked hikari's thing 😔 it got old and outright cringe man im sorry like surely the devs could come up with something better than this?? way to not explain enlil and mess with the in-universe power scaling too LMAO. 2/10 is being generous!

anyway its a fairly short game in persona standards so i cant really say it's time wasted when i got so many character interaction crumbs..... i guess i lucked out by liking the characters that i do instead of ones that kinda got shafted in this. (except for aki but 😔 i just kinda accepted his blown out of proportions awkwardness outside of P3)

it's..... a 6/10 from me overall! music and velvet room attendants + nanako cameo DLC carried

[goth-oatmilk-latte]

is there a story behind meeting new Mr oatmilk that you want to share w the class?<3 (ps he sounds like a well deserved upgrade)

sure!! so btw he took the photos of me at the cemetery/my current pfp!!

him and i have actually known each other for probably like 6 years or so. when we first met, he was married and we didnt really talk we just had a lot of mutual friends bc we like the same music and go to a lot of the same shows and we would just see each other in passing. he ended up telling me he was intrigued by me bc i had done a photoshoot and my pfp when we met was me holding a butcher knife in a wednesday addams outfit, and he said he knew i had to be an interesting person from that alone. he is quite shy though. we would also see each other places but never really said more than hi to one another. he got divorced in 2020, we talked a little then, but not really. then he dated his now most current ex, more or less bc she basically cornered him into a relationship while he was just getting over his divorce and homegirl needed a place to stay. hes told me he regrets it and said he literally should have kept trying with me bc being shy with me would have been a hell of a lot better than how things worked out for the 2.5 years of abuse she put him through. (his words)

last year we started talking a lot bc he was posting a lot of concerning stuff to his insta private story and so i kind of talked him thru his abusive relationship he was currently in and he mentioned he really needed a close friend. we ended up becoming gym partners for a bit before both our now exs went batshit over it and our friendship as a whole. and we stopped talking for a bit...and then we would talk a little here and there. and we both mutually agreed we were both in shit relationships.

around may, he texted me and told me him and his ex finally broke it off after months of him trying (long story) but he still wanted to at least be my friend again bc he missed me a lot. and i told him i was also dealing with more or less trying to leave my fiance. this is actually around the time i found the flashdrive full of nudes from other women ex mr oatmilk was keeping from me. and i finally left mr oatmilk after he tried to go thru my phone while i was in the shower, which prompted an argument about why it didnt matter who i was friends with bc he couldnt stop entertaining other women and i even pulled out the flashdrive and was like yeah im done.

so me and new mr oatmilk started hanging out more. he would go on walks with me after work. or we would go back to being gym buddies. or we would grab dinner. go to a bookstore. i helped him pick out stuff for his new apartment.

i asked him if he wanted to go see the cure with me at the end of last month and he surprised me by paying for a 2 night hotel stay for us instead of us just driving 2 hrs. and thats also when we went to the cemetery to walk around bc he knew id like it. thats pretty much when we decided we were actually an item.

i helped him move into a new apartment last weekend. and tonight im surprising him with making him dinner. ive pretty much stayed over since he moved in, which is funny bc he got a smaller bed than he would normally get bc he originally told me he didnt wanna feel lonely since it's just him...but he has only spent like one night alone since living there lol.

whats really fucked up tho is his ex is always trying to instigate with me...from doxing me in a bar bathroom, to literally driving by his new place to see if i am there. and shes friends with my ex now too. she's harassed me via text and social media, too. but it's fine, i dont usually engage. which pisses her off.

him and i are happy 🥰 hes honestly lovely.

[ambrossart]

i loved your dancing with myself series. Made me feel a lot of emotions with how amazing your writing and descriptions are! i just hated and cant get over the fact that eddie said chrissy was his dream girl but kissed reader like basically after this confession? its heartbreaking because she already feels like nobody compared to chrissy and always pretends she is fine even when she does say how she feels but then goes back to coverinf itnup so she doesnt burden anyone :( i just wish reader didnt allow for him to treat her like that, because how can he say he has feelings for her all this time but then say that about chrissy but then all of a sudden start to decide to remember her again and pretend like he wasnt pinning over chrissy? :( it just hurt my heart and i felt like she deserved better

Awww, I understand what you're saying, and I'm sorry to hear you feel that way 🥺💔

This was actually brought up before in a previous Ask, which I'll include here, if you're interested.

Anyway, I think it's really important to stress that Eddie's crush on Chrissy is about as significant as the reader's crush on Steve Perry. It's not nearly as deep as it seems at the beginning.

Eddie's not in love with Chrissy. He's not even sure if he really "likes" her. He just likes the idea of her because she's pretty and she's always been nice to him. It's an innocent, superficial crush that's meaningless compared to the way he feels about the reader.

This is made clear in part 7 when he compares Chrissy's rejection at prom to the reader's rejection (or perceived rejection, at least) in middle school.

Chrissy's rejection:

"Chrissy turned me down tonight, and yeah, I’m a little bruised up, but I’ll survive, y’know? I’ll soldier on. No scars. No permanent damage. It’s easier to recover from a rejection like that because, well, because it was never all that real to begin with.”

the reader's rejection:

“But if I ever met someone,��� he said with a sad, wistful smile, “someone I really liked and could potentially see myself with, someone who I thought might actually like me back… If I thought I had finally found that person and, y’know, she rejected me and just totally ripped my heart out and stomped it into the ground… well… how’s a guy like me supposed to recover from something like that?”

Here, Eddie's basically saying, "Yeah, it sucks that Chrissy turned me down tonight. Whatever, I'll get over it. But you... you really broke my heart when we were kids, and I'm still not over it." It's tip-toeing dangerously close to a confession, but Eddie's not comfortable talking about that with her right now, so he immediately denies it/changes the subject when the reader tries to probe further.

So yeah, Eddie might have a small crush on Chrissy and calls her his "dream girl" (a term he never actually uses around the reader, btw. Instead, he says Chrissy is "like a dream"), but that's not why the reader walked out on him in the bathroom after they kissed.

She walked out because of her own insecurities. Something good was finally happening to her, and she started to panic just like she panicked in middle school. And in her moment of panic, she listened to the self-sabotaging voice in her head and made the impulsive decision to leave before she could get hurt. Eddie didn't really do anything wrong.

tldr; Chrissy's about as much of a threat to the reader as Steve Perry is to Eddie. Eddie's little crush on her is superficial and harmless, no different than a celebrity crush.

[anas-somewhat-blog]

My Fault by Mercedes Ron

My rating: 4 of 5 stars Where do I begin… This book was so much yet so little … -comparing it to the movie - I really thought it was gonna be the typical book>movie, but in reality its book -Now the book on its own. - Wow. Wow, wow, wow… What a shitshow. I must say its been a while since ive read a book that took itself so seriously, going over very serious topics and managing to give me the most wattpad like story. It really helped me that ive seen the movie before reading the book because that way i coould immagine the characters, since the only description of Noah and Nick are - good looking, hot, eye color and hair. I swear Noah has been described as Honey color eyes and long blond hair more times that ive put the book down and trust me theres been a lot. The cheesy scenes were just bad, i thought the movie overdid it , but it actually townd it down. The fact that they didnt follow the book to the tee really saved them a lot of embaracment. So many unececery will they wont they scenes, so many jelous scenes and not to mention the were hiding that were together yet let everyone see us scenes .. really, that was nececery? The writing in the first half of the book really had me, it was good, the flow of the story was good and i could see where it was going and i was down with it, but then the second half happaned and …. Let me explain. FIRST HALF OF THE BOOK We get to follow both characters as they are going trough a new unusual chapter in there life. Noah is a 17yo girl who is leaving her identity behind ( as it is for every teenager - friends, home, relationship if there is one) because her mother remaried a ritch guy. BTW ID RATHER READ RAHELAS AND WILL STORY THAN THIS. For Nick its welcoming 2 strangers into his life which are there to stay for more than he is compfortable with, a stepmom and stepsister. Hes not so excited about this since hes been having a secret life behind his fathers back and now keeping it behind 3 is gonna make it dificult sooner or later. So we get to see how these 2 worlds crash together, a very enemies to lovers kind of tale. Noach keeps entering Nicks world without really wanting to but more going with the flow as she is trying to fit in the new world that she has found herself in, and Nick slowly getting to see that there is more to Noah and her mom than just trying to find a fast cashgrab and dipp before its too late. Its really fun to see them fight because as sai its 2 worlds mixing , meaning 2 perspectives mixing and kindoff getting to see the same pov. It gives off Pride and Prejudice 2005 vibes . So on paper something very interesting, enjoyable and quite fun to read. The second part I consider the second half of the book to begin once the 2 have had sex because after that they have stated that they are in a relationship. Once these 2 have had sex its like both there brains have turned into mush. They both are sudenly accting like 12 yo who just cant keep this very secret thing from anyone even tho they are both well in the age to act mature, at least Nick is, i get Noah being this jellous little girl who gets these tantrums and wants to jump Nick, i dont get Nick a 22 yo who has had plenty relations with girls, to act all jelous and like a little kid who cant play with his favoure toy anymore ( his dick) because his mom grounded him ( the vagina he wants to fuck belongs to his stepsister) and thats enough reason to lash out and hit everyone and enything. Its giving very much Lege of Legend player wibes who hit the wall. Now to justify the rating - 4/5- i know ive complained quite a lot about the book but honestly ive enjoyed it, yes ive roled my eyes and tossed the book away and complained about it , and still it was fun to read and fantasize about the world of Nicholas and his father Will. View all my reviews

[honestandveiled]

Part I - Spinach Lasagne

The first thing I noticed about him was the tattoos on his fingers when he served me my spinach lasagne. Yum, I thought to myself referring to the fingers. I live right across the restaurant and I come here every evening and order the same thing but those fingers are new. I usually bring my papers in a binder to read while I eat and stay a little longer and watch people. I look up to see the fingers' owner, new guy. He's got these chiseled arms, dishelved curls and sheen of hardwork on his face. He looked distracted. I smile at him and thank him, trying to hide my perving. Oh God, its been so long since I've gotten laid. Im perving on random guys who are serving me food. Ever since I started my PhD program, I barely had time for anything else - which is also why I get my dinner at this place everyday - its cheap and delicious and I'm too busy to cook. 

He nods in acknowledgment with a slight smile. Bon appetit he says and leaves. Usually I never stay until the place closes because id like to give the staff their space while closing it up, today however, I wanna see him again, even if it's just briefly. I had my papers to keep me company. Unconsciously curling my hair with my fingers with one hand and using the other to fidget with my pen, I was deeply engrossed in my papers. I only looked up because I noticed a sound at the counter - there he was. There's nobody else around. It was closing time. I lost track of time, I apologize and try to organize my mess of papers and ready to get up. 

"Um-uh you can actually stay longer if you'd like? I mean-n, we are closed but ill be around to finish up some cleaning and stuff. you're welcome to stay."

"You sure?

"Yeah, you look like you're in the zone with your work and I won't be done for another 45 mins so you're fine until then."

 "Thank you, that's so considerate! But that's okay ill head home - I need some coffee anyway." I know they don't sell coffee and I feel bad for imposing without buying anything extra.

"I can make you some coffee. God knows I could use a coffee and cigarette before my cleaning" 

"Huh. I didnt realize you folks sold coffee"

"Oh we dont. But I can make you one"

"Aw, thanks! Can you let me pay for it at least?"

"Do you smoke?"

"Mhm" I nod, embarrassed of my infinite attempts at quitting. In fact I successfully quit before I started my phd only to pick it back up. 

"You can pay me in company when I'm done making the coffee" 

--- 

We are standing at the back of the building in the biting cold, with the coffee warming our fingers and cigarette smoke our faces. 

"I'm y/n btw."  I extend my hand.

"Carmy". He closes in. Those fingers again. 

"Im actually a regular" 

"Oh I know. Spinach lasagne. You know I have like 8 other things on the menu right?" 

"Haha what can I say? The chef in there knows what theyre doing.  Id marry them for the lasagne" 

He laughed. "No, im serious. This is most pleasure I've experienced carnally in literally 10 months. Thank your chef for me - the lasagne has been a sex replacement for a poor ol phd student." Ugh I'm so horny its showing. I should probably shut up.

He blushed, blowing smoke from his mouth. "The chef's probably super deprived himself and uses food as a replacement too"

"What if the chef is deriving his talent from deprivation". We are talking about sex (or the lack thereof) very nonchalantly and I need to get used to it but my vagina is screaming. 

"Or- or - or hear me out. What if he actually gets a real good fucking and and - " he pauses and laughs "actually i have nothing to add. I think he needs some fucking"

"Id fuck him" i say without thinking. Clearly we are not talking about the chef anymore

"Right now?" He asks coming tad bit closer. 

"Right now." 

He comes closer, kissing me desparetely, lifting my thigh to wrap it around him. I can feel him grow against me while he's thrusting into me. I pull his curls closer and moan. 

"Inside. Now"

We sloppily move through the kitchen dropping our clothes as we head to an office thats dimly lit and scattered with papers. He pushes some papers to clear some space and puts me on the desk. He tries to go down on me. I pull him by his curls stopping him.

"Um-uh im very hairy down there. Havent exactly planned for this"

"Even better" he replies and goes to town. I bite my lip, conscious of my moaning sounds

"I like it when you're loud. Tell me how much you want this"

"Oh please keep going, i want you so bad."

He's moaning while he's eating me. "That feels so good. Please keep going", I mumble between my moans. He is flicking his tongue on my clit so firm and hard that it almost kills me, then he digs his finger into me while sucking on my clit. 

"Tell me what you want" he demands.

"This is so good. Keep going". Im going feral!

"Tell me or ill stop" he says almost pulling out his finger".

I let out a small cry. "Fuck me with more fingers!"

"Tell me how"

"Harder!"

He adds one more finger and fucks me really hard and fast with them. 

"More?" He asks and before I could say anything, "of course you'd want more, don't you my poor ol desperate student?" He mocks.

"Tell me exactly how many" he asks using the same demanding voice

"All your fingers. Please"

"I knew it" he quickly changes his stance to fist me hard and lifts his head up close and sucks on tongue and biting my lip lightly. I hold him tightly by his hair while he's fisting the daylights out of me. "You're driving me crazy" I breathe into his mouth. He kisses harder

"Ready to be fucked?" He asks almost earnestly

"Not yet. My turn" I try to grab his cock

"We are fucking. Im going to go inside you and thats the way this works"

"Nope. You don't make all the rules here.'  I look at him sternly while I hold his cock tightly in my hand pulling him towards me. Touching his balls lightly while I hold his length hard. He holds my jaw tightly "You wanna play hard? I could do hard" he says and before he could do anything I push him back to the wall, get on my knees and put him in my mouth. 

He moans as I suck on his tip and squeeze his ass towards me, lightly touching between his cheeks. He stands there accepting temporary defeat. I look him in the eye and say. "Grab my hair and make me go at the speed you'd like"

He uses my mouth to fuck hard and fast as I make glucking noies. "Fuck. You're so hot." 

He pulls my head away from his and brings me to his lips. "I need to be inside you." He pauses before he says "please" 

I kiss him back while he puts me back on the counter. I put my legs over his shoulders but he holds them by the ankles and moves them above my head and fucks me like its his last. When he finally comes he lets out one last groan and drops his head into my chest and gives small kisses. I kiss him on his face, my legs shaking visibly. He laughs and rubs my thighs along the sides and kisses them  "sh sh calm down. You did so good" I laugh a little embarrassed by my legs. 

"Water?"

"Water." I reply 

"I'll be back" he comes back with a glass of water for both of us. He kisses me with his water filled mouth. Spitting into mine and slowly moves away while I quench my thirst.

He drops a mattress on the floor 

"You had a mattress all along?"

"Sorry yeah." He runs his fingers through the back of his head sheepishly. "Got carried away. Come lie beside me"

Our naked backs to the floor we look up while he plays with my long curly hair while I his tattooed fingers. 

"Whats your phd in?" He asks 

"Computer science. Specifically machine learning. Statistical modelling that kind of thing"

"Tell me more"

"Some other night. Tell me about your finger tattoos"

"I got them when i was in juvie. Don't mean much now. Some other night"

We lie in silence and slowly drift away to sleep.

 -- 

An alarm goes off around 4.30 am. 

"Fuck!shit! Im sorry arrghh" he curses while trying to shut it down. I make sleepy noises and see his face looking at me.

"Darling. Hey- hey mwah, darling. I've got to leave now. Okay? Got some errands to run". I nod trying to make sense of my surroundings. 

"Im really sorry but you probably should too. My crew is gonna come in a couple of hours." I stretch my body while he runs his fingers against me and kisses my stomach. 

"What errands at..."I look at the watch "..4.30 in the morning?"

"Gotta pick up produce for today. Need spinach for your lasagna" he smiles 

"What kind of chef makes his waiter get produce at 4 in the morning and clean up at the end of the day?" I ask while we are putting on clothes. I steal a last kiss on his bare back before he puts his shirt on. 

"The chef who is deprived, remember? Actually not anymore apparently"

"You're the chef?" I laugh thinking we are still joking "why were you waiting tables?" 

"Short staffed yesterday"

"You're being serious? Omg. I said stupid things about the chef, sorry"

"I did too. Don't be sorry. It's all true. Ill walk you home?"

"Yes please".