#FOCUS ON THE CATT

[marsosims]

damon says hi !

[wolveragrace]

Secret

[itsgrimeytime]

The Nurse (Part Thirteen) || Rick Grimes (TWD)

Part: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13...

AVAILABLE ON AO3

Taglist: @strnqer @1985bitch @curlycarley @imaginemyfavoritefics @crazytxgradstudent @addisonnie @whos6claire @taylvvrr @quicksilversg1rl @catt-leya @1tsk1tty @hopefulatrocity @fuseburner @idkseraphine @emo-potato-virgil @mcuclintasha @8crazy-freak8 @peepeepoopoobutt @crazyunsexycool @alixxhere @allthetroubleiveseen @dxrkymxrchy @taylormarieee

rick grimes taglist: @golden-hoax

Summary: Before all this, you were a nurse. A nurse who had patients, one of which was a man in a coma. A sheriff, you think, it was all kinda fuzzy now. When it all went sideways, you set up what you could for the man - but had to leave. You’d always wondered where he’d ended up; until in your search of shelter, you run into a familiar face.

TWS: mentions of death, survival instinct, injury pain, gun violence (just violence in general), gunshot wounds, swearing, and all things typical of TWD.

[[A/N: Short chapter but the next few may be much longer, bc we're prepping for the sequel: The Lover. Hope you enjoy lovelies !! Thanks for reading !!!]]

"You doing alright?"

You startled for a moment, hovering over the chopped tomatoes -Carol needed help with dinner, you needed to use your arm. It worked out. You hadn't even realized you zoned out, the tomatoes laid out in front of you, and the knife raised to start chopping into the next one.

The juice was all over your hands, and it just felt a bit like... like at the hospital. And... And when-

You dropped the knife.

"Y/N?" She was now turned fully toward you, hip popped out and head tilted to the right -looking at you, "-I asked if everything was alright?"

"What?" You cleared your throat, blinking to get some of the blurriness out of your eyes, "-Yeah, I'm. I'm fine, really, I just need to-"

"Take a break, hun," she hummed, all syrupy sweet, but her eyes were rather serious. If you didn't go, she'd make you, "-I can handle it for now, go see loverboy."

You laughed, "Loverboy?"

Carol neatly continued, as if you hadn't spoken a word, "And do me a favor?"

"Of course," you answered, on your feet and ready to exit -eager to help.

"Talk to him," she spoke, frankly, "-he's worried about you. We all are. Just-"

You frowned.

"Talk to him, please."

Your walk felt short. You knew it wasn't realistic, you knew that the walk out to the farm was longer but everything felt a tick off. Everything felt like it was so fast around you -your heart pounding out of your chest loud and clear in your ears.

It was all you could focus on.

"Hey, sweetheart," Rick appeared in front of you, smile big and something in you softened, "-whatcha visitin' me for?"

And then he seemed to pause, blue eyes settling on you in a manner that felt curious -like he was seeing something new. Something he hadn't before.

"Gimme just a second, baby," he whispered to you, meeting your eyes, "-wait right here."

Your lips moved before you could think about it, rehearsed, "O-Okay."

He looked at you for a moment, concern sweeping over his eyebrows, "You wanna come with me? It'll take just a second."

"Yes, please," you murmured out, "-with you, it's... I know it's safe."

"Go," Hershel spoke, suddenly interjecting -you were a little embarrassed he had heard, "-I can finish up out 'ere."

And normally, you thought Rick would've lingered, finishing up a few things before setting off. But this time, with you holding his hand as your life depended on it, he made a quick decision.

He merely wrapped his fingers tightly around yours, squeezing and guiding you back to the cell. His cell.

Like he knew it would best calm you, since he was your home now, and something in you softened even more. Your eyes were starting to get foggy, as he gently sat you on the bed -decidedly kneeling just in front of you, holding your interlaced hands on your lap. You sink into the bed, and the smell- it smelt like Rick all around you.

You wondered distantly if it would be too much.

"Alright," he spoke, softly, and taking his freehand to guide your eyes to his, "-I ain't gonna push ya, you know that. But-"

You tightened your grip on his hand, brushing your fingers along the back of it -a combination of the turmoil deep in your stomach. You thought for a second you couldn't.

"Take your time, darlin'," he hummed, brushing his fingers along your jawline, "-I ain't got anywhere to be."

You laughed, a sort of wet laugh as you wiped at your eyes, "You so do."

"Not when you're upset," he corrected, tilting to match your eyes, "-nothing else matters, ya know that?"

You sighed, pulling both your hands to your face (which included his own), and covered your eyes, embarrassment burning at your cheeks, "It's just... I didn't. I didn't want you to worry."

"I'm always gonna worry."

"Rick," you echoed.

"No, I-" he started but seemed to recenter himself, quiet and soft, "-I love you that makes ya somebody to worry about forever for me."

On instinct, you responded, "I love you too. It's just- It feels. I just want to forget it."

"I know ya do," he hummed, "-I wish I could make it better for ya. I wish I could take the... the pain just so you would feel better.

"Rick," you echoed, unlatching your hand and cupping his cheeks -tender and focused, "-you make it better just by being here, I swear. You don't... I can bear this, as long as you're okay, as long as I know you are."

"Promise me somethin'?" he muttered, eyes fluttering over your face, "-even if I'm not..."

"Rick, don't-"

"Even if ya don't know if I'm safe, or... or alive, stay safe. Just- Just on the off chance I'm alive, take care of yourself."

"Rick," you frowned, choking back tears.

"Hey, hey, don't cry darlin'," he whispered, taking his hands and wiping them away, "-I just need to make sure. I can't... I can't let you sacrifice yourself again for me."

"Okay," you sniffled, eyes matching his blue ones, "-okay. I will, I promise. And you- you do the same okay? If you can't find me-"

He stiffened under your touch -jaw clenched, but you kept speaking.

"-keep going."

He didn't say anything really, just pulled you to his chest and held you there -safe and surrounded by Rick. Lips dancing along your hair, you breathed in his scent and cried (just a little) into his shoulder.

"I'd never stop," he suddenly spoke, and you startled for a moment, "-I'd never stop lookin' for you."

Your heart beat faster in your chest then, as you whispered to yourself, "I know, Rick, I know."

[whatsthisascianbullshit]

Hands rubbing together to warm them up for the Catte and the Scientist :3

Thank you @lilbittymonster ^^ please enjoy the useless witches before they get their shit together later on in Endwalker lmao

Muireann was woefully unprepared for the cold. It was, admittedly, her own arrogance that had left her with just her mittens to protect her hands and they did not facilitate much in terms of spells when the convoy had come under attack. She had ripped them off after a vanguard breached the line she was holding. Thankfully, Haurchefant had known her well and his first gift to her – now mended and re-mended several times over – had ribbons that let her attach them to her coat.

With the adrenaline of battle and the heat from magitek and thaumaturges dispersed the cold had made itself known again radiating in aching waves from her shoulders. She leant against one of the pillars trying to steady her breath as her body registered the stabbing pain in her fingers, wincing as she rubbed them together to warm them up enough to pull the mittens back on.

“You’re more likely to cause harm to yourself like that.”

“Just need to get ‘em able to move again and then I can get Ifrit to handle thawing the rest of me.”

Y’shtola tutted, stilling Muireann’s hands with her own. With only the slightest narrowing of her eyes indicating any channelling of aether, Muireann felt Y’shtola’s hands warm slightly over her own, “I thought you had concluded that a slower thaw was less painful in Ishgard, I’m surprised your patience was cut short.”

“I – huh. I wouldn’t have thought you remembered.”

“Why? Because my current focus is not healing magics?” Y’shtola, evidently satisfied that Muireann’s hands had thawed sufficiently to withstand friction, started gently rubbing over them.

Muireann resisted the urge to snap her hands away. While their words played through a casual conversation, it was the first time Y’shtola had held her hands since before that thrice damned banquet. It was…nice. Familiar. Missed.

“Just has been a long time is all.” And longer again for you specifically. “Thanks, Y’shtola.”

Muireann received what could be called a smile in return though Y’shtola’s eyes remained somewhat distant.

“I would advise against Ifrit till we have reached our destination – it would not do to lose your firepower due to your construct being occupied. Remaining near a thaumaturge should be sufficient, if they are talented enough to have been accepted to the contingent they should be able to channel fire to a gentler extent.”

“As you are demonstrating?”

Y’shtola’s hands stutters slightly in their movement as she fought to contain a smile, “Precisely as I am demonstrating.”

“Then I must thank you for gallantly volunteering your services.”

Twenty-Four Touches prompt list

[zylphiacrowley]

Good afternoon! I came upon your (lovely!) cowboy gpose with Eren. Where both figures are back to back, with a hat between their faces in an illusion of a kiss. I'd love to do something similar for my boy. Is it an existing pose - or, if not, would you be comfortable explaining how you made it? A mod for the hat itself, perhaps? Either way, thank you for your time!

Hi! First of all, thank you. :3 I'm still really proud of that one! For the hat, you can either use this mod that will turn everything but gear invisible (I used this for a set where I needed a bracelet to be visible and appear as if my catte was holding it in his hands), or if that's to much of a hassle to set up, if you're using Anamnesis (and maybe ktisis? I've never actually used ktisis myself tho, so I'm unsure if it can do that) you can load in a character put whatever hat you want to use on them, then turn everything but the head invisible and as long as you don't need to see the underside, you can just pose as needed from there (and ignore the floating head attached to the hat lmao, if it's not visible in the shot, it doesn't exist!) As far as posing goes, 99% of my poses I make myself and I have a really bad habit of not saving them. OTL BUT! I can tell you that I did it entirely in Brio, but you should be able to achieve something similar regardless of what posing system you're working with.

For the pose itself, I usually try to pose the main focus of the shot first and get that lined up then tweak everything else around that. I'm pretty sure I just worked off of the standard idle stance pose that characters are in when you load them in with Brio and then tweaked until it looked right for that one (a tip I can give, for anyone wanting to start gposing is, unless you're making it to upload and share, only pose what you can see and just make it look good from the angle you're taking the shot at). I know that I found a spot where I could have them both leaning against a fence, turned them both in the direction I wanted their bodies to be facing then sort of kept tweaking the spine, head and neck bones to twist them towards each other until I got them to look at each other and also look natural (I also posed a rough expression just so I have a better idea of what things will look like at the end). After that, I moved the invisible character wearing the hat to where I wanted it and then moved arms, hands and fingers to line up properly. And then my final step for most of my posing is to fine-tune expressions. I hope that my explanation helped a little. Sorry I don't have a pose file I can just link or send to you. I would love to see what you come up with tho if you feel comfortable sharing if/when you do it!

[dynared]

“I'd also argue that the IDW style writing in Earthspark is extra-insular because it's not just a mandate to keep with evergreen concepts, it's also now a moral issue as it was with many of those writers, to keep the franchise away from "chuds" and undesirables that probably bought Energon Universe comics like crazy.” Sorry if I sound overly nosy, but would you mind expanding on this??? I only recently got back into TF (with my only previous experiences being YEARS ago when I was a kid and didn’t even know who Shockwave was) so I’m a little out of the loop

Let's describe this so that it doesn't come across as a GriftTube rant or an apology for other writers.

IDW's comic writing was very insular, in that it was written almost like fanfic was. In fact, many of the writers, most infamously James Roberts, got their start in fanfic (Roberts having written the notoriously weird, tryhard novella Eugenesis), and were more than willing to import their characterizations from fanfics to the official comics, most infamously Star Saber, who was reimagined from a standard Autobot leader/single dad with an adopted kid into a religious fundamentalist of the worst kind, because that was the characterization Roberts used. Most of the IDW writers did not have a high opinion of the Japanese Transformers material (the hows and whys are their own articles, but the short version is - the fan wiki had a hate-on for the Japanese material and those fanfic writers were in that same circle). Most comic companies flat-out say this is a bad idea. Marvel Comics, in their submission guidelines for Epic Comics, call the phenomenon "Writing a comic about a comic", namely that your work is only of value to a specific section of fans who are already engaged with the material, and who want to see the material altered in such a way that it appeals to their biases (in this case, the writer's big anti-Japan, anti-super robot sentiments, and the desire to deconstruct Cybertronian society as Simon Furman laid out in Marvel).

This also included a lot, a LOT of gay romance. Roberts and other writers were clear why, they wanted to write romance, the character line was mostly male, so you were getting gay romance. This spiraled into a lot of issues with a focus on gender identity (after a very, VERY poorly received Arcee comic where she was essentially driven insane by a transition from male to female), and sexuality.

These comics sold horribly but built a very dedicated audience, the sort of audience that would probably have read fanfics breathlessly. So much so the writing started to leave a lot of openings, poorly described items, and loose plot threads that fanfic writers could build off of and write their own interpretations of, as a fanfic writer will often do when they want to get their audience more involved. But in terms of selling comics, they were poor sellers, to the point that an attempt at a combined shared Hasbro Universe, via the comic crossover Revolution, tanked, icing Hasbro's plan for one for nearly 7 years (with the Energon Universe trying again with a much more measured, controlled attempt and the film producers promising a GI Joe/Transformers crossover film).

The problem is that a lot of the criticism of the stories (we don't want to read about Transformers romance endlessly, you treat characters poorly, these crossovers make no sense) was often interpreted by the writers and the fans as "We hate gay people and trans people, we want stuff blowing up", and the writers who were supportive of such issues, doubled down, dismissing their critics as a small number of prejudiced malcontents. Some of the writers and fans of the writing of IDW also went on to help with other animated shows like Cyberverse, the War for Cybertron Trilogy, and Earthspark, most notably Nick Roche and Mae Catt. Both have been adamant about how important representation and life lessons are to their writing, with Catt out-and-out bragging on Twitter that she had two female characters kiss because she knew it would annoy people.

"I AM THE GAY AGENDA!"

Catt discussing her goals for EarthSpark on Twitter/X

All the shows I have just mentioned were also commercial failures. Cyberverse toys still clog toy shelves in discount retailers, the War for Cybertron series did so poorly that when the same writing team proposed a sequel based on the Legacy toy line, Netflix turned them down, and the Q4 reports show Earthspark was a commercial failure with many theorizing the only reason it's getting a Season 2 is because Hasbro wanted something on the air for their 40th anniversary, instead of having nothing in media besides comics until Transformers One comes out in the fall of 2024.

This leads to the final part of this explanation. The new comics from Skybound have seen fit to ignore most, if not all of IDW's contributions to the franchise, more focused on lots of action and basic but effective and strong characterizations serving to re-introduce the characters to people who have never read a Transformers comic or haven't watched Transformers media for decades. This is quite the opposite of Earthspark's focus on identity and life-lessons that were designed for the more insular fandom. And the criticisms of Skybound from the internet tend to focus on that, that they're appealing to an audience that didn't want what IDW was giving, so they're prejudiced. The thing is that the sales numbers don't lie, with many retailers pointing out that Skybound's take on the Transformers outsold comparable IDW releases 10 to 1.

I really hope all that helps clarify things. Like I said, I think that the writing being done essentially by fanfic writers, for fanfic writers created something that casual or non-fans were not going to engage with, but the fear that their critics were prejudiced in some way caused many of the writers to double down on those same habits, even when it's clear that the back-to-basics storytelling of Skybound is attracting far more readers.

[romancemedia]

My Prediction for Sugar Apple Fairy Tale's Anime Future

In order to keep my spirits alive for the future of Sugar Apple Fairy Tale, I have gone over the details and timeline and I'm fairly confident the series will return next year for a new season.

Also at this point I think it's safe to say this past year has simply showed the first season in general instead of 2 seasons like a lot of us, including myself assumed.

Season 1 Part 1 (Episodes 1-12) January 6th 2023 to March 24th 2023

Season 1 Part 2 (Episodes 13-24) July 7th 2023 to September 22nd 2023

During Season 1 of the anime, it has covered the first 6 light novels of the series so far.

During this period, we've been introduced to our main characters, the storyline, challenges, obstacles and of course the love between the main couple, Anne Halford and Shall Fen Shall. The anime is currently covering the 6th light novel focusing on Anne and Shall being captured by Lafall, Shall's older brother who seeks revenge against humans and fairies alike while also trying to tear the lovers apart.

With everything that's happened since Lafall's introduction, from the revelation about him and Shall being Fairy Royalty, their unborn diamond sibling and the unresolved conflict between the humans and fairies, it's obvious there is still a lot of the story left to be told. This is hardly the ending, but instead, it's only the beginning.

I find it doubtful that no matter what the anime won't end Sugar Apple Fairy Tale with Volume 6 and will be back next year for Season 2. I'm pretty hopeful they'll announce their plans as soon as the season finale is over. Besides since the light novel series ended years ago back in 2015 and therefore had already long since completed their story, I'm sure the anime is going to cover everything, considering where they are now and how far they've come since the start of the year.

For next year if/when Sugar Apple Fairy Tale returns for a second season, I'm sure it's going to follow the same timeline as this year did. Season 2 will most likely showcase 24 episodes again, dividing them into 12 episodes and show them from January to March 2024, go on a break and return from July to September 2024 just as this year did.

When that time comes, Season 2 will likely cover Light Novels 7-13. (I'm skipping Vol 12 since that consists of side stories and already showed 1 in the first season, focusing on Catt's introduction.)

Based on the information I've learned about what's to come from the light novels, they will feature...

Anne and Shall's relationship and love growing stronger, but will face a new challenge in the form of a real proper honest love triangle when Keith confesses his own feelings for Anne!

A story focusing on Mythril Lid Pod.

Anne and several Silver Sugar Masters will come together to create a special order for the Queen herself!

New fairies will be introduced, including the birth of Shall and Lafall's diamond brother!

The return of Lafall Fen Lafall!

That's as far as I'm at right now regarding the anime's future since I've decided to only focus on one step at a time. All I can say right now is keep hope alive for whatever comes on Friday cause until then I refuse to give up!

[blueikeproductions]

So some EarthSpark stuff has trickled out lately that eludes to one thing I’m concerned about: more Terrans & sexuality.

So first off, a leak states Hashtag will come out as gay.

I have no idea why this is a big revelation when her first major gag coming online was fabricating a ship fic scenario of her and Skywarp being “really close friends” to fool Mandroid into thinking she was a Decepticon. It was pretty obvious she was gay for Skywarp.

So this leads into another problem… if they’re leaning into a scenario where the Terrans want to start dating… who are they supposed to be with?

It can’t be with each other romantically, and it can’t be with the older Autobots and Decepticons. If they do the later do you guys REALLY want this to be on Fox News again? Cyclonus & Tailgate just barely skirts an age difference, but still has imagery of Tailgate as a child and Cyclonus as a parent despite their romantic relationship, which is super creepy and I hope beyond hope that wasn’t intentional, and then you have Arcee & Aileron which is also a huge no from me because of how left field it was coupled with the age gap.

The Terrans, like the Armada Mini-Cons and Prime Predacons, flip flop between being a species and being a sub faction. Thus far there are only five, and they’re all Maltos. More Terrans can’t possibly mean more Maltos, that can only go so far, I don’t care if there’s an adoption metaphor here, nobody in their right mind in this economy wants 12+ kids like the various Cheaper By The Dozen films and related plots. The Terrans have to start standing as their own in some capacity which leads to the other leaks.

We’ve known for awhile there’s a new character called Aftermath, and now new toy leaks show another new character called Spitfire. So it seems the idea going by names alone is in the aftermath of Mandroid’s actions a new generation of Terrans come online, but who they are still isn’t clear. But this feeds into the dating idea. If these are separate non-Malto Terrans, and they want to give Hashtag a girlfriend, this is the way to do it. We’ll just assume Spitfire is the one for now because I don’t think Aftermath would fit. Until we know more, my assumption is Aftermath is the corrupt leader of a new generation of Terran and Spitfire is one of their subordinates. They’re ideally the tonal opposites of the Maltobots, a barely functioning as a group Decepticon analogue with Hashtag and her future girlfriend being the Silverbolt & BlackArachnia analog ala Beast Wars.

But even with Catt gone, and her best (and seemingly only) idea for S2 had she remained was bringing back Trans Arcee, when even IDW removed themselves of that train wreck in their reboot, and Hasbro via Skybound let Arcee be with Ratchet, we can only hope instead there’s a Heartstopper style running thread in Hashtag getting the girl, because that would be cute, but only if it’s handled well. I consider Heartstopper the gold standard of earnest and organic chemistry and relationship relatability that most other stuff struggles with. Make Hashtag & her girlfriend a blend of Charlie & Nick spliced with Silverbolt & BlackArachnia and you will go far, I guarantee.

(Also so it’s not misconstrued, a Trans Terran, Autobot or Decepticon can work, but we all know IDW Arcee was the result of an ambitious but heavily, HEAVILY flawed idea that became way too overcorrected until the very end. Anode is better because she didn’t have the baggage, but she was also annoying and preachy so not exactly what I consider great rep. Where’s the Elle Argent for Transformers EarthSpark? She’s fun because she gets to be a character! I like it better when characters get to be characters, and not have their LGBT trait be their only trait. It’s why I think Nightshade didn’t resonate because the staff didn’t focus nearly enough on their hobbies and interests and instead focused a lil’ too much on their NB status which became an unfortunate deterrent. Where’s the episode where Nightshade goes to a comic convention in Beast Mode with Sam, and guests just think they’re an elaborate cosplayer? That could be fun! As for a Trans robot, I don’t know who that would be in terms of preexisting characters but I had a little joke if they were a car about how they explain themselves briefly as having used to be a stick shift until they got an overhaul, and finally got into first gear.)

[absolutedaisy]

ok sorry i need to talk about latte catte im putting it under a cut

I can give estelle whatever lore I want so. im giving her ADHD. Which makes it very hard to focus. And also makes her very impulsive. Which makes her prone to drinking.

So you can imagine zoey’s surprise when she and hailey come downstairs to estelle sobbing, drunk off her ass, and desperately trying to open a can of peaches with her bare hands <3

[polyhexian]

Raine's entire experience in the eventually AU cracks me up.

Like, on the one hand, the rebellion seems to have a bit more steam earlier on here? (is that a result of Jasper being alive? or just headcanon?) In canon there didn't seem to be much organized rebellion until, like, a month before the Day of Unity. So they've got that going for them.

And they've got the Martlet! Who is a very strong ally, even if they can't figure out what the guy's whole DEAL is. Who is he? Where'd he come from? What's with the lack of magic? What's with the broken hawk palisman? How does he seem to have better castle intel than Raine does despite Raine WORKING IN THE CASTLE? Why is he so standoffish about getting more involved when he OBVIOUSLY hates Belos? He is weirdly obsessed with fighting the Golden Guard but also insanely protective of the Golden Guard? His motivations are inscrutable and make no sense. But beggars can't be choosers and the Martlet is really good at what he does, so Raine doesn't question him much.

But the guy isn't all that great at cashing in favors? He just keeps racking them up. What does he WANT??

When he DOES cash in a favor or name his price in a trade, it makes no SENSE.

"I want more information on the Golden Guard."

"You probably know more about the Golden Guard's fighting skills and tactics than anyone else at this point."

"Not that kind of information. I want to know ABOUT him. His likes, dislikes, personal history…"

Raine squints at the Martlet. "Okay, I'm aware you two are rivals, but this is a bit much." They can't afford to worry too much about the Golden Guard, aside from worrying that he doesn't get in the CATTs' way. The child soldier thing is messed up, but the kid is severely brainwashed and there's not much Raine can do when they need to focus on saving all of the Isles. Still… "Are you aware that the Golden Guard is a teenage boy?"

The Martlet straightens up. "Aha, so you are aware that the Golden Guard is a teenage boy."

"That…doesn't answer my question."

"Nope, but it's answered several of mine."

Raine groans, but the Martlet's price is relatively inexpensive and while the guy is weird he's never been a creep, so they say, "I know of a few people who were involved in his upbringing, I'll see what I can do."

Things progress generally along the same lines as canon for a while. Raine's got the CATTs, and they reunite with Eda for a bit, and then Darius and Eberwolf "protect" them in the stupidest way possible but at least it ends with them joining the CATTs, and they've got to fake being brainwashed by Terra's STUPID tea, but everything proceeds as usual.

And then Any Sport in a Storm happens.

"Darius," Raine says, staring blearily at the other man, "it is four in the morning. WHAT is so important that YOU are skipping out on your beauty sleep to knock on my door at four in the morning?"

"I need the Martlet's contact information," Darius says, wild-eyed.

"…Why?"

Darius draws a blank. "Um…classified?"

Raine decides they don't want to know and gives him the Martlet's scroll number.

And then things get weird. Darius doesn't leave his room for like two days and when he does he's oddly jumpy now? Eberwolf seems to think he's depressed by WHY is anyone's guess. And then Darius starts trying to befriend the Golden Guard?? Why?? Darius we're running a rebellion we need to stay UNDER the kid's radar - You're going on a camping trip? What? YOU? What's this about eating bugs??

If they try to contact the Martlet during this time period they are. taken aback. by what a bad mood the guy's in.

And there's a million ways Hollow Mind could go down, but if it goes down in such a way that Raine remains oblivious to the whole Jasper situation, they are just. So confused. Like, okay, we didn't get into the Emperor's mind, but we got the intel we needed. Time to stop the Day of Unity!

The Golden Guard ran away for some reason and Raine is like, okay, one threat eliminiated, yay? Except now Darius is freaking out over the missing kid and it's like, Darius. Darius can you please focus? Darius we are all going to die.

They try calling the Martlet like 50 times before he finally picks up and they're like, look, we figured out what the Day of Unity is, and it's bad, we need all hands on deck! Are you in or what? What do you mean no? So just because you're a wild witch you're gonna leave everyone with a sigil to die?

"I'M A LITTLE BUSY, WHISPERS."

"Busy doing WHAT? What could possibly be more important than - did he just hang up on me?!"

Eda's house gets raided but Eda herself isn't captured, so that's a relief, but Darius is really cagey all of a sudden, and - what's this about the Martlet single-handedly holding off an Emperor's Coven attack squad at Hexside? What is he DOING?

Darius finds the Golden Guard. Yay? The kid isn't on Belos's side anymore so that's good and Darius wants to give him a mission and you know what, knock yourself out Darius, Raine is just going to ignore whatever's going on there and focus on the ACTUAL plan. The Martlet STILL isn't answering their calls. Why does Raine feel like they're the only one who cares about this rebellion?

And then, y'know, Day of United, puppetization, possession, final battle, stomping Belos into an unrecognizable puddle of goo before seeing the spirit of their god ascend into the aether. Raine has had. A long day. Week. Month. Whatever. But they've won! Everyone's alive! And there are reunions!

Darius is with the Golden Guard kid, because of course he is. There is a strange man glaring very intently at Darius. Darius looks terrified of the guy but that is not stopping him from listening to Hunter's ramblings.

The strange man is the Martlet. The Martlet is the previous Golden Guard. And also Hunter's father. WHAT? WHAT??

And Raine looks at this enigma of an ally whom they have never been able to figure out, who is apparently the Emperor's old lackey and infamous bogeyman, and who the CATTs owe approximately five million favors to.

Shit.

And Raine is like, okay, what do you want. Are you after money? Power? What is your GAME?? I'll have you know we aren't going to replace one tyrant with another BUT I admit your leadership experience COULD come in handy so if you want a seat in the new government we've got to build up I could probably arrange SOMETHING.

And this man just looks at them and says, "I'm going on paternity leave. Don't call me."

And Raine is just like. What is HAPPENING.

DONT CALL ME FIRUABNDJFOWKRF

god raines perception of this man is so funny. He's a weirdo who won't listen to them unless they bring him a plain boiled egg for lunch. The only favours he ever cashes in are "can you find out what the golden guards favourite animal is" and "if anyone but me touches a hair on the golden guards head I'll blow up the boiling isles myself." He's so fucking DRAMATIC. And after the day of unity they don't see him again! It's three months and until Raine is captured they keep an eye out, but he appears to be gone. Either he ran away like he seemed to want to, or he got killed. Either way he's out of the picture and he's probably never coming back. Then. Who the fuck is that guy over there with Darius and Hunter.

Actually I imagined in hollow mind jasper shows up to the party late because obviously this was NOT on hunters mission schedule, and it is also not the weekend or his day off!! By the time he gets to the owl house eber and Raine and Darius are panicking in the bushes frantically arguing about what to do when the Martlet fucking emerges from the brush panting for air like what the FUCK did you DO. And they explain what happened as quickly as they can and he's like SO GO TELL THEM HOW THE FUCKING SPELL WORKS???? SO THEY CAN GET THEM OUT??? and they're like but our secret identities and-- at which point jasper just grabs Darius and drags him across the yard, kicks open the door and throws him on the floor. Everyone inside like HELLO and the Martlet like HE IS GOING TO TELL YOU HOW TO FIX THIS NOW.

And here, for DRAMA, it's like when Luz went in that portal she made for the vee episode, where they had her tied with a rope so they could pull her back? They have to send someone in to grab them so they can pull them back, and obviously jasper insists. Because how fucking cool would it be for the kids to be finally cornered by Belos like they were just before they got teleported back only for jasper to show up out of nowhere with a flapjack staff to block a big dramatic blow and Belos to freeze like YOU-! and a moment of absolute terror on jaspers face before he grabs the kids and yells he's got them and gets pulled back. And then they all drop on the floor, hunter panics and bolts, and jasper frantically goes after him but oh god, jasper just got hit hard, maybe he hurt a leg or something and he can't CATCH him and Hunter goes off on his exciting homeless era while jasper is left to collapse in the woods and wail angrily at god because he was so fucking close!

And of course he doesn't go back to Eda's or explain shit lmfao he's just gone again like fucking always

Can you imagine Raine seeing THAT. He drags Darius away. Enters the owl house all dramatically. Long silence. Flash of light, lots of yelling. Door slams open, hunter sprints into the woods. Martlet runs after him, bleeding, also vanishes into the woods. Darius stumbles out with a thousand yard stare. Raine is like what the FUCK happened??? And Darius is like I need a nap goodbye

[sagemoderocklee]

WIP folder game with The Eagle's Augury? —very late anon

no such thing as too late to ask me about a fic, anon! always happy to talk about my ideas!

TEA, as I like to short-hand it, is tragically only a very short first chapter in because I'm terrible at getting things done. I'd had the first chapter roughly written for a while before I posted it for the Naruto Run to 1K event @ghoste-catte and I hosted at the end of 2021. Originally, the fic was an ask game prompt for the fic title game, though I did change the title. And I combined it with another fic idea I'd had based on the song Mother, Mother by Florence+the Machine.

The background action of the fic will be surrounding Temari and Shikamaru's upcoming Suna wedding and all that chaos, but for Gaara it's all about this strange 'dream' he seems to be having that isn't a dream at all, but it's Lee who figures that out.

There's a lot that has yet to be planned with this, but the eagle in the title refers to Karura who's name can also be written as 迦楼羅 which is the Japanese name for Garuda, a Hindu deity. For anyone who has read my most recent AU, it's explicit that Gaara and his siblings are a quarter Indian because I've made Karura half Indian through this reference which also serves a larger purpose related to Suna and Wind Country as a whole being separate from the Japanese setting that Konoha exists within.

Anyways, the warning Gaara receives in the first chapter is related to a curse placed on the Kazekage line--which is a canonical belief because all the Kazekage before (and including Gaara, it just didn't stick) have been assassinated. There's a superstition that there's a curse on anyone who becomes Kazekage, and I've got this fic and some others that play around with that idea (in other fics, Gaara broke the curse by dying and being resurrected, but I digress).

So Karura is warning Gaara of the danger he is once again in. I've yet to fully hash everything out, but I do want this to focus on a more supernatural enemy. I think Gaara circumventing the curse when he did means the curse is seeking a new way to be fulfilled, which I think will be fun to execute.

This is also gonna be an interesting fic since we'll have nearly all the main Konoha shinobi in Suna for the upcoming wedding instead of just Lee and Shikamaru.

Since I don't have much else planned, beyond some basics, that's about all I've got for you anon, but I hope you enjoyed! thanks for asking! <3

[northwest-cryptid]

Hihi what was Wonderlab about? I see you mentioning it a lot and it's never crossed my path until now. When did it run? Why is it lost media now? If you know

OH BOY HERE WE GO! I'm going to do my best to cover this in a way where even if someone doesn't know jack shit about ProjectMoon they'd at least somewhat understand things about the plot and overall what happens with ProjectMoon as a company because it's sorta wild.

Considering you can't exactly go find this online and read it yourself and I'm not allowed to repost the whole thing (if I even had it on hand which for legal purposes I am not claiming to) so I'm absolutely going to explain the broad strokes of the plot spoilers included. Obviously I'll be showing as little as possible out of respect for the author's request to not republish it. While I'm sad to see it become lost media due to thinking it's actually really good; I also wish to respect those who would stand against my favorite video game company, ProjectMoon.

I understand how insane that sounds but we'll get to that in the whole "hey why is this lost media now?" Bit of this ask; because boy is this a doozy of a post.

The comic takes place in the ProjectMoon Universe, which portrays a future in which humanity is reduced to living in a single city, where corporations have gained a massive amount of power through discovering singularities, essentially what you could equate to some kind of magic. That's a SUPER simplistic way of looking at it but I think it beats going super into detail about singularities and how they work.

The important thing to know is that Lobotomy Corporation has a singularity that allows them to basically create monsters and then harvest energy from interacting with them; which means they're often hiring people to deal with these monsters, each have their own methods of "working" and some of these monsters outright make the most energy when killing people.

So Wonderlab was a web comic that came out a few years ago, it was about a branch of Lobotomy Corporation that was running during the same time as the game Lobotomy Corporation. Though it wasn't the same branch that we see in the game, it followed three main characters;

Rose is the main focus for the first bit of the story, their whole shtick is that they grew up in a wealthy family but they were all too aware of how the poor were treated in the outskirts. They saw people suffering everyday while they got to live a comfy life and they sought out equality, but they understood that you can't bring change without power; I think one of the more defining moments for their character is this panel right here:

It's important to note that in this universe the words they are using have meaning, with Nests being literally the high security places where the wealthy elites get to live, likewise the Wings are sort of the mega-corps who actually run the city. In this scenario they are literally being attacked by an abnormality in such a fashion where they are growing feathered wings against their will; however they are more metaphorically explaining that they are willing to leave the comfy living situation of their life behind if it means breaking free of the Nests and Wings that control everyone and everything. This is a trait we see them growing throughout the entire run of the comic. They're generally selfless and acts in a manner that benefits the whole over the individual, even if that individual is Rose themself.

Throughout the run of the comic we see Rose become closer friends with not only their department mates but specifically with another two of the characters, Taii and Catt; who we'll get to. However, first let me explain Rose's major story arc.

Without getting too into the weeds over minor details, and without basically just posting every panel they're in; I'd summarize Rose by saying they're an overwhelmingly positive force in an otherwise bleak world. They strive to pick everyone up, no matter the individuals social standing. In fact their first real friend, Taii; is a clerk when they first meet and Rose doesn't take this into consideration at all. While others may question why they'd even talk to or be kind to a Clerk, Rose sees Taii as just another person.

In fact, what Rose knows of the world around them is exactly what leads them to their own self hatred;

They understand that they're able to help others with the money they have, and their position gives them power necessary to bring change. But they resent it all the same, as they felt responsible for the way the world works; they felt like part of the problem,

and we're gonna do a little bit of a double whammy here because in telling Taii about their life story, we also get to see Taii's reaction as a very big part of their own character and their character growth:

But we'll get to that in a bit. The important take away here is that Rose is a sort of infectious positivity on those around them. They seek to "embrace all" and build others up no matter the sacrifice; as they see themself as a part of the problem as well as the potential solution.

Rose's story is a tragic one, inevitably ending in self sacrifice; as they are told of an Abnormality (basically a monster) within the facility that will absolutely kill that who it works with it, but will be able to spare everyone else in the process. Someone HAS to work with it, there is no choice about it; the only decision the department can make is WHO has to work with it. I love the interaction they have with the head of their department regarding the work; I feel like this above all else mirrors the first panel I showed of them. This is a great depiction of Rose at their core, both in the sense of who they are and also in the sense of what they wish to achieve.

Rose's entire story is about how they desperately want to bring change, but understand far too well that they alone cannot. They do their best to change what they can; to help who they can. However they know in their heart they will always fail to change the system, that's just not how reality works at the end of the day.

Their final few panels are genuinely such a great end for them, absolutely beautiful illustration and gut wrenching dialogue for anyone who has been reading the comic up to this point;

I appreciate that we get to see Rose actually scared here at the end of it all. As someone who we've seen stand up bravely to monsters time and time again; it's this final act that scares them. So much of their life left unfulfilled but they know they're the only one who can do this; and that final panel revealing the "demon" that is Catt showing genuine sadness says everything we need to know about their character in this moment.

Throughout the comic we see these characters discuss death, what it means to die; and how it feels to be without someone. However this is really the first time we get to see the confirmed death of a main character, and we get to see how they all react to it.

Oh and I will be using they/them pronouns for the main cast as they never have a confirmed gender, and the they/them pronouns is how the translation mentions them.

Our second main character Catt even has a moment where they mention they don't use honorifics one way or another. Catt as a character seems cold and emotionless for most of the comic; this is because they are. They feel a need to be after they came to a place like Lob Corp and learned the horrors of what go on within it's walls. They made a friend, and they saw that friend as strong; they wanted so badly to have a strong heart and the willpower to continue smiling; only to see their very friend go mad and kill their co-workers before being put down themself. This prompts the catalyst for Catt as a character:

When we're introduced to them, they're the Captain of the branch Rose and our other main character Taii are in. They come across as this very capable, but cold and calculated individual. Though we find that this is all a mask they use to not get close to those who might leave them. They can save themself, but they can't save others; no matter how skilled they might be. They have been shown to even put themselves in harms way to protect those they care about, likely because they feel as though they can handle themselves better than others could.

Oh, and they always talk in third person. As you can imagine, Rose caring way too much about their friends; and Catt caring in much the same way causes them to be at odds quite often. Catt will even go so far as to tell Rose and Taii not to act in situations where they feel strongly someone else can handle the problem and not risk their friend's lives in the process.

Mind you there is an abnormality they work with at one point which focused heavily on the idea of loving others; and being loved. Catt is forced to realize their very gay thoughts and ultimately doesn't handle it well:

Unfortunately this causes the abnormality to breach, and Catt takes matters into their own hands to deal with it:

But before we get to Catt's conclusion, we need to talk about Taii; the one we've yet to discuss, and realistically the MAIN main character of Wonderlab. I say this because they are the one we see grow and change the most, with their actions being those which are focused on in the end.

When we first see Taii they're this sort of clumsy, scared, and overall dare I say "incompetent" clerk who is basically just trying to do their job as best they can.

The thing about Taii is that, as we learned previously; they're basically going through their day to day life just surviving. Letting each day come and go without much agency one way or another. Taii doesn't have any grand ambitions, they don't strive for lofty goals; nor do they necessarily hold out hope for a better future. They simply exist and do their best to survive in this crazy fucked up world.

They are promoted when they use their company issued handgun to help Catt fight off an Abnormality. Important note from the Lob Corp Manual; the handgun given to Clerks is a mercy, far too weak to really deal damage to Abnormalities, but more than enough to let them take their own life without the pain of whatever the Abnormality would have done to them.

Taii doesn't act out of bravery, but rather desperation; and it shows. They aren't a very brave individual and most of their actions are taken out of pure necessity for survival. However as they interact more with Rose and Catt they find a need to be better within themself. They begin to look up to the two and find comfort in the idea of becoming like them.

This is one of the first times (if I recall correctly) where we can see them actually saying they want to do something for the good of everyone. It's not that they're selfish about their ambitions, it's that they don't see themself as someone strong enough to help others. They see Rose and Catt as those kind of people, but Taii just isn't that brave, nor capable; at least not in their own eyes.

The following scene actually shows Catt working with the abnormality for Taii; giving them the information on it after the fact and basically saying "you couldn't handle it, so I did it for you; but I won't say anything, if I snitched your paycheck would suffer." But obviously doesn't admit to doing it out of the goodness of their heart. Rather just telling Taii to forget it. This is when it starts to become pretty clear that Catt and Rose are both putting up an act respectively.

One of the first big moments we see Taii act bravely is when they finally actually have to fight something; again we can note the words "I'll be left with no choice" Taii doesn't actively want to fight here, rather they believe it's the only option they actually have.

At this point it's still unclear if this is because they don't want to hurt the abnormality, or because they're scared to fight. However this scene does show us that they're a lot more competent than they'll admit to themself.

At this point we have an understanding of these characters and we know of Rose's death; so now we can get into the finale; essentially there's a few more chapters between the death of Rose and the actual last chapter. In this time we see our two remaining main characters react in polar opposite ways.

Taii begins to actually try to work hard, not just for their own sake but for those around them; they carry on Rose's dream of a better future as it gives them a life purpose they didn't have before.

Meanwhile Catt hasn't shown up for work, everything they thought they had in life was taken from them; and they can no longer handle it. They felt they were stronger to cast their heart away and simply feel nothing; and their complex emotions cause them to distort.

Distortion is hard to explain but it's essentially a person becoming a monster through a powerful enough emotion for lack of better explanation.

Catt now distorted, begins to cause quite a bit of damage back at the facility; unleashing basically every Abnormality we've seen thus far; and Taii is very aware that this is in fact Catt's doing, which results in some absolutely raw growth on Taii's part as we see them finally take action and become the person they have wanted to this entire time.

An important note for those who don't know, when working with an Abnormality; it's possible to create gear called E.G.O from them; so here we see Taii literally wearing the E.G.O of "Staining Rose" the very abnormality that killed Rose.

The two have a bit of a heart to heart, with Taii admitting that Catt was correct; that it's not wrong to indulge in the better parts of life and leave the complex emotions of the heart behind. That is what it takes to survive, something Taii understands far too well as someone who spent so long just trying to survive.

The following panels show that while they might be gone, Rose never truly left Taii; and that their ambition lives on within Taii now.

Literally declaring "we will save you" with the depiction of the fight ending with Taii and Rose pulling Catt from their distortion; something that doesn't ACTUALLY happen; but is how Taii perceives the event.

The reality is that Catt very much remains distorted, and escapes somewhere into the ruins of the facility where Taii cannot follow.

The comic concludes with most of the cast now living out their lives outside of the facility, working odd jobs or opening their own fixer offices. As for Taii, they have a life purpose; in that they refuse to stop looking for Catt,

There's a TON that I couldn't cover here, plenty that goes into these characters and fleshes them out really well. The writing is unironically really good, even though I'm highly bias as I have a deep love for the source material they're working with.

There's a lot of conversation around ProjectMoon characters, plenty of disagreement over things like gender, sexuality, and even mental illness. Normally I'd argue "most of it is just headcanons or something" but ProjectMoon has gone to lengths to actually include not only LGBT rep in both gay characters and non-binary characters; but furthermore has given their characters everything from ADHD to Depression in depictions that never outright say "this is Netzach he's depressed" but rather show you Netzach's depression first hand, right down to Netzach having one of the best lines about suicide; literally saying "you have to worry about the quiet ones, the loud ones want to live more than anyone; that's why they're crying for help." I'm paraphrasing but like, ProjectMoon GETS IT. Malkuth is a character who I will not accept people saying doesn't have ADHD, not only does she have literally every symptom in the book, but one of the core aspects of her character is needing to keep a visible notepad on her at all times to write down essentially a detailed plan or else she won't be able to keep track of what needs to be done.

So you can probably see why I enjoy ProjectMoon as a fan of horror media and generally as someone who enjoys well written characters; I've not gone into detail about Lobotomy Corporation, nor Library of Ruina; but both have a ton of references to everything from Religion to classic literature. They touch on topics like modern capitalism and mental illness; what it means to be human, and ultimately what it means to have an identity of your own.

This is a company who's aesthetics, writing, and even gameplay interest me greatly so you might be wondering why this is somehow lost media, and why even I stand in opposition to this company currently.

And for that, we need to look at Limbus Company; the worst thing to ever happen to ProjMoon in my opinion.

So let's quickly look into ProjectMoon, they're this little indie company who no one has heard of; they make Lobotomy Company and it's a cult classic of sorts. A very small but dedicated group of people absolutely love this game, they mod the hell out of it just to keep the content alive; and then finally ProjectMoon announces their second game; Library of Ruina. Now we're all hype as hell, with music being done by Mili this is sounding like it's going to be amazing for fans of the IP; and it was!

Library of Ruina has a story that stands among even my favorite like JRPGs it's a great game with a perfect conclusion for the characters we got to know in Lob Corp (in my opinion at least it's a great place to leave them and go off to focus on the Sinners and their stories)

and now the games are getting popular, the company actually opens a few cafes; and they need funding for more stuff to come. Well how do you get that funding? They believe a Gacha game will be a good way to secure funds and also deliver constant updates about the world and characters their audience has come to love.

This isn't inherently a bad thing, rather the problem comes when a few of the character designs set off a group of men in Korea. A rather large, loud; group of men; who are displeased by how these characters were depicted. From what I understand the claims were that the way they drew a specific man was too feminine and the way they drew a woman, fully covered; wasn't sexualized enough for their liking. This sounds pretty insane, and honestly; it is.

However it's not as insane as the CEO deciding to fire a woman, one of their artists; despite the art design/concepts coming from a man on the team (from what I've been told). This all in an attempt to appease the mass of incels who aren't even really fans of ProjectMoon but are threatening the company with bad reviews and harassment.

This is when it comes to light that ProjectMoon has been having shady business practice for a while now, continuing to underpay those they work with on the grounds that they're "just a small indie company uwu" even though they are now raking in the big bucks and honestly, have been financially stable for a good while after the launch of Ruina.

As people heard the news, and boycotts began to happen; the CEO began to also throw around the idea of taking legal action for slander against those who spoke out against the company claiming the accusations lacked evidence and the like.

Eventually the news hits the author of Wonderlab, and they request to have Wonderlab removed from the internet. Whether this was to remove any ties to the company; or to do their part to rebel against the mistreatment of women on the companies part; I'm unsure. Either way they've asked those who may or may not have a copy of the web comic to not go reuploading it.

I may not have all the facts on this one, so anyone who may know better than me on this is more than welcome to add their two cents; but that's sort of where we stand now, there's an active boycott on Limbus Company that, unfortunately it doesn't seem like many are actively participating in though I won't be getting into all that.

I am sad to see the comic become lost media though, it had a lot going for it; there are some genuinely just beautiful panels, plenty of LGBT and NB rep throughout; and generally just a solid story that has a lot to say about life, morality, and the effect one person can have on the world around them.

Something I will always find funny is that looking at Lobotomy Corporation, Wonderlab, and even Library of Ruina; the characters that ProjectMoon writes into their stories and games, are absolutely the sort of people who would stand against the company itself and it's behavior and treatment of not just it's employees but it's fans who refuse to support it further given it's crimes.

ProjectMoon really has become the very thing it writes about being bad. Which is a shame, because it has so much going for it; and no matter how shitty the CEO is; I can't blame the company as a whole; doesn't mean I'm going to go giving them my money or anything, but I will always stand in opposition to them while remaining to call myself ProjectMoon's #1 fan. I think if you're going to call yourself a fan of ProjectMoon you have to at least be disapproving of their actions, otherwise I fear you've entirely missed the point of the games and web comics.

Anyways I started writing this all at like, 4 and it's about 6 AM now so I'm just going to call it here and hope this answers your question lol.

[thefreelanceangel]

With the focus on chocobos as a means of transportation and common animal across Eorzea, does (or did) your character own their own? Has this ownership ever factored majorly into their story? If they own something that is a chocobo equivalent, how did they come about it? If they don't want one... do they want one?

C'allie's older brother C'tkar didn't quite realize what he'd found when he brought what appeared to be a small calico cat back to the Kyho camp. A scuffle with several Garlean scouts ended with their gear and the various items they'd been taking back being looted by the Kyhos. C'tkar, of course, wouldn't leave a small animal to starve and brought it home.

Much to the family's confusion, the animal continued to just... grow. Everything they fed it disappeared as if thrown into a bottomless pit and the rotund cat grew. And grew. And grew.

By the time C'allie was ten, the nameless thing occupied a spot at the edge of the camp and often scavenged the remains of whatever the hunting parties brought back. It rarely left the spot that'd been established for it, but also never behaved aggressively towards any of the Kyhos that approached it.

C'allie befriended it, named it Pot Pie out of childish amusement and discovered early on that she could ride the waddling thing around the camp. And C'tkar discovered, with much less delight, that Pot Pie would earnestly attempt to eat anyone prone and unattended. This resulted in Pot Pie being herded back to the edge of the camp, where C'allie easily made off with it when she left the Kyho camp to discover the wide world on her own.

Now Pot Pie spends quite a bit of time in the stable at the d'Latus' estate where his eager, indiscriminate consumption of large amounts of meat has been put to considerable use. Anna d'Latu even spares a pat or two on the head when Pot Pie handles a bit of tricky disposal for her.

C'allie visits her beloved Pot Pie often, taking him for rides and even on extensive trips, but now that the Catte House has two children (and more to come) she's going to leave Pot Pie where he's less likely to consume someone she'd miss.

[packedwithpackards]

Queering the Packards?: The importance of documenting LGBTQ ancestors

A quote from Victor Salvo, Founder and Executive Director of the Legacy Project on QueerBio. Image from Chicago LGBT Hall of Fame. What he says applies to genealogy as much as mainstream histories like biographies.

When I started my research, I tended to follow the usual path of focusing on male progenitors and their wives, including English immigrants like Samuel Packard who landed in what became Massachusetts after Indigenous people relinquished the land, often by force. In January 2021, I speculated that a friend of Carrie Chapman Catt, a suffragist in a relationship with Mary Garrett Hay (and later with Alda Wilson), could have been attracted to Alaska "Al" Packard (1868-1934), the first female FBI agent and my sixth cousin three time removed, while Al had a close friendship with Harriet Taylor Upton. Many months later, in October 2021, I included question from Christine E. Sleeter in an article I quoted from: "How might a family historian tease out clues of LGBTQ family members in the past?" Late last year, I noted my ancestor (fifth cousin four times removed), Elizabeth Dwight Packard (1859-1915), who was living with another woman, Lucy Huston Sturdevant (1860-1940), who also served as the executrix of Elizabeth's estate after Elizabeth's death. This year, I surmised that since my sixth cousin three times removed, Elizabeth Packard (1912-1985) was listed as single in the 1930, 1940, and 1950, and the fact she was near queer neighborhoods, it may indicate that Elizabeth is queer herself as I surmised. I would love to do a deeper dive into her life, as there is a gap of information from 1950 to 1985. Last but not least is my post last month, with a major focus on the relationship between my fifth cousin five times removed, Sophia Brett Packard (1824-1891) and Harriet Elizabeth "Hattie" Giles (1828-1909), who are known most prominently for founding Spelman Seminary in Georgia, which is known today as Spelman College.

I am convinced that I have more than five queer ancestors within my family tree. In fact, I have a draft post about my fourth cousin five times removed, Frances Appleton Packard (1836-1902) who was always listed as single and never noted as marrying anyone, which can be a clue that the person is a queer individual, [1] to use the word in a non-pejorative way. After all, there are over 4,000 ancestors on the two family trees I've created on Ancestry, one for my mom's side and another for my dad's side so I don't confuse myself with which ancestors are which. I already know the stories about my great-granduncle Stanley Sterling Mills (1901-1934) being gay and my grandaunt on my dad's side, Ellen, who had a partner who lived with her for many years named Fran.

There are many posts out there about LGBTQ ancestors. Some recommend genealogists check occupations, examine family patterns, read newspapers, examine prison and court records, search cemeteries, look for terms like "cross dresser, Sapphist, sodomite, tribad, or Uranian", and keep in mind that ancestors weren't "as free to live their lives openly like LGBTQ+ people can today". Others suggest looking for personal accounts, wills, criminal records, census records, examining local history, asking questions if records don't exist for a specific person, and recognizing that official records can "subtly divulge clues", Beyond this, were a pamphlet about LGBTQ history in the U.S. published by the National Park Service, Thomas MacEntee's 10-page piece about why stories of LGBTQ relatives are important, the Queer Ancestors Project in San Francisco, and other discussions online about this topic. [2]

Current genealogical software is not inclusive of transgender individuals and some LGBTQ relationships, as some have pointed out. As for other Packards, some have published books that fall into Queer Studies, although I'm not sure of their relation. [3] More broadly, there are the collections of the Lesbian Herstory Archives (lampooned in the film Watermelon Woman), the South Asian American Digital Archive, the GLBT Historical Society, and Library of Congress, along with important sites like Out History which focuses on LGBTQ history. In addition, there is a guide put together by Fordham University Libraries, the Dickinson College LGBT History Project (documents LGBTQ life in central Pennsylvania), the archival collections at ONE Archives at USC Libraries, the LGBTQ Iowa Archives and Library, the LGBT Legacy Project, the collaborative project known as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Archive at University of North Texas, the archive collection of LGBT Community Center in New York, and the digital collections of The ArQuives, Canada's LGBTQ archives institution.

This is only scratching the surface. [4] As the National Museum of American History puts it, "LGBTQ+ history is a part of American history...since its founding, both knowingly and unknowingly." After all, pressure from genealogists caused FamilySearch to allow same-sex family trees. I agree with those who say that while our ancestors may have kept their identities and orientations secret, they likely left clues, and it’s time to "stop pruning their branches of our family trees". There need to be new ways of visualizing information to accommodate families that aren't heteronormative (i.e. married man and woman having children) or re-imagining family trees altogether. This is coupled with telling stories which don't fall into usual patterns which are easily shown in existing genealogy software which is strongly heteronormative. It can counteract the intentional hidden nature of "lives, stories, and histories of LGBTQ people...by socially dominant individuals and groups" through various means over the years. [5]

Notes

[1] An Ancestry.com blogpost by Michael J. Leclerc says as much: "Common signs of LGBTQ+ people are those who never married, or who married late in life or had no children. But these facts alone are not proof. Additional signs can help."

[2] "How To Find Out Who Your LGBTQ+ Ancestors Are", Our Culture Magazine, Jul. 7, 2021; Michael J. Leclerc, "5 Tips for Finding Your LGBTQ+ Ancestors," Ancestry Blog, Ancestry.com, Oct. 7, 2020; Mary McKee, "How to trace LGBT ancestors," FindMyPast Blog, FindMyPast, Feb. 3, 2022; Alex Madison, "Queer Ancestors Project to unveil anthology," Bay Area Reporter, May 16, 2018. MacEntee suggests gaining an understanding of gay history in the U.S., LGBTQ subcultre, gayborhoods, occupations offering clues, use FAN Club approach (tracing Friends, Associates and Neighbors of the person in question), recognize that there were marriages of convenience, and provides many resources on pages 9 to 10. As a word of caution, he uses the word "transgendered", which is wrong. As Vox points out, "the umbrella term for people who identify with a gender different than the one assigned to them at birth is "transgender" or "trans." These words are adjectives, not nouns. Additionally, the word "transgendered" is offensive to trans people and unnecessarily confusing." Also of note is "Northampton LGBT ancestor Anna de Naucaze’s story intrigues, inspires" in The Rainbow Times. There's also the inane question (and discussion) posed on /r/Genealogy in January 2018 about the ethics of documenting a deceased ancestor as LGBT, with people responding that you need "some incontrovertible proof" to say someone is gay, emphasizing "documented evidence", explain reasoning and document conclusions, and saying it would be a "touching tribute". The worst were those who sneered they don't document anyone's sexual preference (why?) and arguing that it should be kept secret if the deceased person wanted something secret (a pretty absolutist view).

[3] This includes Queer cowboys : and other erotic male friendships in nineteenth-century American literature by Chris Packard (more about him here) and Women / men = Femmes / hombres : erotic poetry with William Packard as an author as noted in this search, here, and on his Wikipedia page.There may even be Packards within the Digital Transgender Archive, although I haven't looked at the results in depth yet.

[4] There's also a page on the National Trust for Historic Preservation on LGBT history, along with an AARP article entitled "LGBTQ Is a Growing Market for Travel Industry", Trans Oral History Project, and LGBTQ pages on Wikipedia which could be helpful like

"List of LGBT rights activists", "LGBT tourism", "List of LGBT writers", "LGBT history", "Timeline of LGBT history", "LGBT nobility and royalty", "History of gay men in the United States", "Bisexuality in the United States", "Drag queen", "List of LGBT awareness periods", "Queer erasure", "History of same-sex unions", "History of transgender people in the United States", "Transgender legal history in the United States", "List of LGBT actions in the United States prior to the Stonewall riots", "History of violence against LGBT people in the United States", "LGBT historic places in the United States", "Timeline of same-sex marriage in the United States", and "Intersex rights in the United States" to name a few.

[5] William Blumfield, "High School Students Stand up for Truth in Play with Lesbian Character", The Good Men Project, Jan. 28, 2017; Ellanora Lerner, "Centering My Queer Ancestors' Stories", Jewish Women's Archive, Feb. 21, 2020; "LGBTQ+ Hall of Ancestors", Honey Arts Therapy, accessed Sept. 27, 2022; Sarah Ngu, "In Search of Queer Ancestors", Asian Americans Writers' Workshop, Dec. 4, 2019; Javy Rodriguez, "How This Gay Couple Honored Their Ancestors at Their Brooklyn Wedding", Out magazine, Nov. 8, 2020; "Stories of Our LGBTQ Ancestors: Dr. Amber Starbuck and Mabel Stevens", Northampton Center for the Arts, May 3, 2019; Cynthia Laird, "News Briefs: Learn about LGBTQ roots at genealogy class", Bay Area Reporter, Jun. 20, 2018; Tat Bellamy-Walker, "How the Black queer community is re-imagining the family tree", NBC News, Feb. 16, 2022; "Want to learn more about your LGBTQ ancestors and others who flew under the genealogical radar? New series shows you how", Cincinnati Public Radio, Oct. 18, 2021; Bob Vitale, "Uncover the lost LGBTQ branches of your family tree", Columbus Monthly, Sept. 16, 2021; "LGBTQ Genealogy – Inclusive Family Trees", House Elves Anonymous, Nov. 19, 2020. Also see LGBTQ history posts from the UK National Archives from March 2008 to February 2022, Jacob Ogles' "15 Gay Romances of the Renaissance Era" in Advocate magazine, Miss Rosen's "The Pleasures of Gay Life in 1950s Fire Island" in Blind magazine, and "LGBTQ+ History Research at the Archives & Library of the Ohio History Connection" at Ohio History Connection.

Note: This was originally posted on June 12, 2023 on the main Packed with Packards WordPress blog (it can also be found on the Wayback Machine here). My research is still ongoing, so some conclusions in this piece may change in the future.

© 2023 Burkely Hermann. All rights reserved.

[capriccio-ffxiv]

3, 5, 14!

3. Is it important to you that you "like" your OC (as in consider them likeable)? Or is it more important to create a distinctive character, even if they are unpleasant or evil?

I think it's more important to make a character that I find interesting to play. The characters I play in MMOs do often end up likeable to me, but I don't go into it thinking "I want to make a likeable person." They also tend to involve personality traits of my own that I magnify and focus on? Both Ryuu and Illyria I find to be frustrating people at times, but they're also sort of wish fulfilment in the sense of "they can actaully solve problems and help people."

I have played an unpleasant person before; that'd be Krin Daro / Grucching Catte in Elder Scrolls Online. She's a Speaker for the Dark Brotherhood (eg, an assassin) and a vampire. She's got good reason for doing what she does (long, tragic backstory) but she's still an unrepentant killer.

5. How important is it to you that your OC is attractive? Does that mean attractive to you personally (sexually or just for purposes of playing dress-up!)? Or do you aim to make an OC over which others will inevitably thirst?

Not at all! I made both Illy and Ryuu very attractive (to me) because I wanted to, but my Elder Scrolls Online characters and my main Guild Wars 2 character aren't conventionally attractive at all! Grucching Catte is 65 years old, overweight, and looks... look, let me just post my favorite picture of her:

Yeah.

14. How do you want other people to view or react to your OC?

Honestly I don't really think about that much...? I make my characters for me, first and foremost. I suppose I like it when people find my characters interesting or want to learn more of their stories. How they actually react to those stories is their business, though I'm always interested in their opinions! I suppose if I were to sum it up, "Wow, that's a really interesting character concept/story! Tell me more?"

[itscattworld]

An open letter to myself

TRIGGER WARNING

Dear Catt,

I started posting here on July 2014. Actively continued until June 2022 when, recommended by my therapist at the time, I completly stopped. Came back today, March 2025.

Going down my blog is like going down memory lane. I can feel everything again. I can see how terrible my mental health was between those years, particularly closer to the beggining.

I was sh-ing, doing drgs, binge drinking, in an abusive house, in a toxic relationship and suicid@l before I even turned 18.

When I got out of the house and relationship, everything else intensified and after I was SA'd, I became hypersexu@l.

Everything and anything was excuse to forget my past and even if I wasn't actively trying to die I was not making any attempts to make my life better.

I was in therapy, yes, but you must be honest with your therapist in order for it to work and I could never be. I was too scared to let anyone if past my walls.

I forced myself to date boys and men, putting my own sexuality on hold, knowing I wouldn't end up with any of them, but sure my grandma was happy.

I forced myself to gain/lose weight by the comments of others over what my body should look like and not how confortable I was in it.

I forced myself into spaces that never belong to me and friendgroups I thought I deserved.

2024 came around and I had the biggest transformation of my entire life.

I don't smoke anymore. I don't drink. I am vegetarian. I work out when my body allows. I do what I can to be at peace with myself. I still can't use the word "lesbian" to describe myself but I am working on it.

Speaking of work, for someone who wasn't going to make it past 18 I did great for myself, I am one of the top people in my field and I am on the path to becoming the best.

I am proud of myself even no one is.

But I know my girlfriend is. I know my sister is. I know my nephew will one day be.

And I am proud of them. My family is small but the four of us will take the world by storm.

Deep down, I know I can't mak it on my own but I also know I am my own biggest chearleader. I don't quit projects, I don't lose focus of what matters anymore.

I am so greatful to everything I've been through that brought me here and that make me who I am.

And I am thankful to Tumblr for keeping it so I can remember that the 12yo girl crying and ctting in her room at night does have a future and does deserve happiness and I will make it happen for both of us.