#FINALLY I CAN MOVE ON FROM THIS PART
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Lucian watched, shocked, as Zane promptly rose from his chair. He hadn't seen Zane so livid since knowing him. "Not here." His silver gaze turned metallic, hand biting down into the rest.
Looker was unfazed by the harsh demand. His eyes flashed towards Lucian, brows furrowed. "It's him, isn't it?" Observing Zane's glower become darker, he pinched the bridge of his nose. "I am trying my best to remain patient with you but you have such a way of disturbing the Vespiquen nest," he muttered, tone oozing with sarcasm.
"You see him," Zane gracefully gestured over Lucian's form, "He is otherwise safe and unharmed. Or would you have me personally play chaperone and kindly escort him to you?"
"None of that is necessary at this point," Looker bit out. "But I appreciate your kind gesture."
Resuming his attention towards Lucian, Looker's expression became kinder. It did nothing to soothe Lucian's nerves however, his hand abruptly stroking Shiho's head. He rummaged through pockets, presenting a badge. It wasn't the same as the badges he was accustomed to seeing from the local forces. "I know you have several questions on your mind and I will answer them but for now, you can address me as Looker. I am part of a Special International Police Force and I have plenty of questions for you."
Kneeling down, he maintained this friendly air but was wary to approach further. He made note of the Flygon's growing agitation, fangs subtly bared.
He offered a half smile. "Ease up, Lucian. We have a lot to talk about."
Startled, Lucian went stiff. Shit… His eyes sought out Zane but the man had his back to him, shoulders locked, arms tightly folded against his chest. He was of no help to him. Lucian was unsure of the history between the both of them but he knew it ran deep for this reaction. His hands were tied.
"How do I know you can be trusted?" Lucian countered. "That badge could be fake for all I know."
"It is not fake, Lucian." Came Zane's voice. "Tell the kind officer what he needs to know so he can be on his way."
A break in Looker's features, a glare directed towards Zane. "We will talk later." Then he was all smiles once more. "It is only a few questions. You were the only one upon the Tower at the time of the incident. I need to know what happened."
Lucian avoided his gaze. "You know the rest. You have my name." He had a hunch Zane would have never uttered it to anymore. "You know Zapdos attacked the Tower and Ho-oh defended it. What more do you want?"
"That's not how the people tell the story. They say after their bout, Ho-oh scorched the Tower."
Lucian eerily went quiet. "That is a lie." He finally said. "Zhen was only trying to protect Bell Tower."
Looker waiting for that, eager to pounce. "Tell me then. How else did the Tower got in that state?"
For a moment, Lucian appeared to be tired. His body sagged against his seat. Shiho chirped by his side, concerned and angered at the stranger for pushing him. When she went to snap at Looker, Lucian gently grasped ahold of her snout, hand enveloping it. "Shhh Shiho," he scolded her.
"Zhen was… angered." Fear seeped in his spine, his body quivering. "I really don't know what happened back there." The Ho-oh was enraged. All the candor and banter they shared before. He hardly recognized the Phoenix. His last thoughts were focused on fleeing before he could get caught up any further. His Flygon on the same page, who was already soaring them urgently away from the scene.
"I could only feel the intense heat and electricity in the air. I didn't dare look back."
"There had to be something more," Looker urged him. "Tell me. What was wrong?"
A vivid scene appeared in front of his eyes. That of Zapdos distraught, out of control.
"Zapdos had crystals...," he began to describe, unsure. "Jammed into its neck."
He hadn't missed Looker looking away and Zane suddenly locking eyes with him.
Lucian's eyes narrowed. "You... the both of you know something about this, don't you," His tone was accusatory, his body tense.
Looker gave him a stern look. "You answered all I needed to know."
#Lucian#Zane#Looker#Zapdos#Plot#FINALLY I CAN MOVE ON FROM THIS PART#dun dun dun#I am also stupid for posting at 2am but I don't care#I'm free#Burns
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Peri was very upset about a lot of things that happened. Within a span of a week, he felt like his entire life has changed for the worst!! He had a dumb bulb on his wand, Timmy was still moving away, and he had to go to a school far from everyone he knew!!!
Of course, the cause and trigger of those emotions was Timmy. But Peri can’t blame his older brother for any of that. So the next logical conclusion for a small child to reach was to blame his parents instead!!! And boy did he blame a lot on his parents.
Many of Peri’s actions in his childhood stems from misplaced grief and anger. By the time he was old enough to know better, Peri got a mixture of stubbornness and a bruised ego to admit he was wrong for how he reacted.
Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]
Instability: [Start] > [Previous] > [END]
#fairly oddparents#fop#fop a new wish#fop peri#peri#fop irep#irep#asks#itty bitties fop au#one of peri and timmy's many shared promises was that peri ONLY wrote to timmy. CosWan were NOT allowed to see them or call him or talk or-#anyways if ur wondering why timmy was peri's primary guardian this is why#peri /had/ a lot of low contact form his parents. which just made them even MORE clingy when they did get to see him.#timmy worked hard to keep his promises to his little brother#even if it meant letting Peri spend the summers with AC and Irep instead of at CosWan's place#(timmy was the one who urged his parents to go on their honeymoon as a result. to help. yknow. distract them from it all)#also yaaayyy yipiee!!#11 whole parts!!! just for. just for 6 or so asks.#OTL#god i hope i can speed things up now#there shouldnt be any more mini stories until i reach the end of the inbox#so we can finally FINALLY get back to the present with chimmy moving and timmy dealing with HazDev
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Absolutely love the possessive ex Scaramouche ramble in tags, please feed us more of that.
Gladly!! :D
(cw: yandere, extremely toxic ex scara, modern au, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, stalking, coercion, obsession, forced marriage, violent/suicidal threats, manipulation, mentions of intoxication/alcohol, implied self-harm)
The two of you were what everyone calls ‘high school sweethearts.’ You met him in the cafeteria when the both of you were first years. Despite the scowl etched on his face, he looked lonely sitting all by himself while everyone was finding tables, old and new friends gathering in groups. He’d ignored you, even scooting further away when you’d attempt to move closer. Even though he seemed so averse to you, you remained, silently eating your lunch. Neither of you said anything, but you did introduce yourself. He scoffed under his breath.
You started to sit next to him for every lunch, and he continued to give you the silent treatment. You never pressed him for conversation, instead choosing to enjoy silence while you ate and admired him from the sidelines. He never looked at you, always facing forwards and toying with his chopsticks, bending them so far until they were ready to snap. Eventually, he seemed to grow accustomed to this routine because many weeks into the semester he turned to address you.
“Why do you always sit by me? Don’t you have anyone else to bother?”
“Maybe. But I don’t think anyone’s as mysterious as you are.”
“‘Mysterious…’ Yeah, whatever.”
That seemed to be the catalyst because, as sardonic as he was, he’d begun talking to you. And it wasn’t long until he started to warm up to you every lunch until the both of you were exchanging lighthearted banter. Your friendship would only grow from this point onwards until, at the end of your first year during a study session to prepare for finals, where you were both pulling an all-nighter at your house, he’d asked you out. And you said yes, and the both of you had gone from best friends to lovers within the span of a year. The both of you were each other’s first partner, so it made doing things as a couple even more exciting because neither of you had any experience with dates or holding hands or kissing.
Kuni wasn’t a bad boyfriend. In fact, he was very loyal and sweet. He’d stand up for you if anyone was being rude to you or scrutinizing your relationship with hateful eyes. The two of you were nearly inseparable. When you weren’t spending time together in school, you were out doing things together. And when you couldn’t meet up in person, you’d text or call, sometimes talking late into the evening about all sorts of things. You were so immersed in him that you failed to notice the red flags slowly raising over time. But looking back there were a few notable ones.
He never invited you to his house. In fact, you’d never even met his parents, whereas he’d been to your home so often that your family practically became his own. He hadn’t mentioned anything about his family, and if you tried to suggest going to his house for dinner so that he could introduce you to them he was quick to change the subject. For a while you’d push this, more curious than concerned, but eventually you’d drop it when it became clear that he wasn’t going to divulge anything on the matter. That had stung, but you snuffed those feelings in favor of focusing on other aspects of your relationship.
The second red flag was just how clingy he became when the both of you were in your third year, having been together for two solid years. You never noticed it before because you loved him, but when friends had pointed out how attached he seemed—and it was to rather unhealthy levels, according to their observations—to the point where you were the only person he’d ever formed a bond with while at school you started to see the cracks in what felt like the perfect relationship. He’d text you every single day, at every single hour, all the time. He’d call you nonstop, even more so when you didn’t immediately pick up.
The third red flag coincided with the second. When you couldn’t make it to your phone, he was quick to blame himself and those around him for being responsible for your deteriorating relationship. Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me? Did those guys bother you again? They probably told you some stupid shit about me, right? Don’t listen to them. Hey, you’re not mad, right? Call me back. I need to talk to you. Just text me when you can, okay? (Name), please don’t leave me. I’ll fix whatever’s wrong. Just promise you’ll stay. Messages of these kinds were what you could expect to receive from him. He’d fluctuate between self-loathing to loathing those around him within seconds, shoving blame onto classmates who’d bully him for being that “weird emo kid with too many piercings” and anyone else who tried to, in his words, “come between you and me.”
By the end of your third year, you started to fall out of love. He was so very dedicated to this relationship, evidenced by how much effort and care he’d put into it, but his clingy behavior was stifling. You’d lost some of your own friends because he chased them away, and it felt like you couldn’t do anything without him breathing down your neck. If you wanted to go anywhere with a friend or two, Kuni had to be there to accompany you. If you looked at another for too long, he’d think you were cheating. If you didn’t text or call him at certain times, if you failed to pick up, or—Archons forbid—you left him on seen, he’d spiral.
Kuni had this habit of sounding dangerously self-destructive when he feared you were being unfaithful or he thought you were going to break up with him, which meant you’d have to sit on the phone for hours convincing him that you loved him, that you’d never leave him, that you’d always be here for him, that you were sorry for not responding, that he needs to calm down and please, please, please don’t do anything rash. Those phone calls were always so stressful. You cried a lot; you’d beg him to put the knife away when he’d threaten to use it on himself, on you, on anyone who might try to take you from him. And, after a few hours of this, he’d be back to his usual self, as if a switch had been flipped. You could hear his adoring smile in his voice when he spoke, when he’d lovingly whisper into the phone, “I’m happy you’re mine. I love you so much.” And you’d shakily parrot the affirmation, too frazzled to say or do anything else.
One of your best friends Rosalyne, who you’d befriended in the midst of all of this, had been so supportive the minute you spilled the truth to her. Kuni hated her the most because she wasn’t afraid of him. Because she’d shut him down when he tried to pull you away from her. Because she wouldn’t approve of any of his toxicity. Rosalyne would take you on shopping sprees, brunch dates, and jogs at the local park. She was plenty of good to outshine Kuni’s bad, and the more time you spent with her the clearer your head would become. The both of you had plenty of sleepovers together, and she let you rant your heart out while she listened. She’d tell you to break up with him, but you’d agonized over how terrifying that would be. You couldn’t bear to tell Kuni the truth—that you wanted to separate because things had turned so rotten—because you were so scared. Scared of him and what he might do.
Scared that if he really did take a blade to himself it would be your fault. He told you that a lot. That it would be your fault if he did anything. That his blood would be on your hands. You believed him every time.
By your final year, you’d already had a plan for university outlined and you’d started applying to a few in advance. You never told Kuni about any of them because you worried he might apply to each one in hopes of going to the same school as you. And when there was the dance for the graduating class and Kuni had asked you to it, you’d told him you were going with Rosalyne and a few other friends as a group. He didn’t like this, as expected, but you’d been so sick of him and his behaviors that you snapped and spilled everything to him. You’ll never forget the look on his face when you told him that you were done with the relationship and that you never wanted to see him again.
He looked as if he could lunge at you and tear you to bloody ribbons at any moment.
You graduated single and so very refreshed, and your summer had been filled with friends. Kuni didn’t message you at all, which was surprising considering you were certain he’d spam you relentlessly after the break-up. But he never did. In fact, you never saw him again. Graduation had come and gone, and now that you could recover from such a terrible relationship he was becoming less of a burden for you. For a while you were anxious. You kept expecting to receive a phone call or to see some news about Kuni, but neither ever came. Rosalyne told you to stop thinking about him. It would only make you even more paranoid and that wouldn’t do your mental health any good. You were so grateful to have her in your life, but most importantly you were glad Kuni failed to scare her away.
Now you’re a second year in college and things have only gotten so much better for you. You and Rosalyne still keep in touch despite going to different schools. She’d gone to a university in Snezhnaya, while you enrolled in one in Sumeru, and you’ve blotted Kuni from your mind. You’ve made a fresh group of friends while attending classes: criminal justice major Shikanoin Heizou, creative writing major Kaedehara Kazuha, musical therapy major Venti, botany major Tighnari, and so many more wonderful people who have all welcomed you into their circles.
So when Venti drags a familiar face to your usual weekend outing, which is really just a retreat to the forest for drinking and smoking, creeping cold settles into your bones. He looks awkward with Venti’s arm slung around him as the more bubbly of the two drags him towards the bonfire, where you sit with the others roasting marshmallows for s’mores, and it’s a look that is so uncharacteristic on him. What’s even weirder is how friendly everyone greets him—as if they all know him—and you’re completely lost when they turn to you and ask if you’ve met Kunikuzushi.
“No,” you lie through your teeth, forcing a pleasant smile and extending your hand for a stiff handshake, which Venti snickers at. “No, I’ve never met him before.”
Apparently, he’s in one of Venti’s classes—it’s a course he’s taking solely because he needs the credits. Tighnari knows him because they usually work the same shifts at the campus café. Kazuha knows him from his linguistics and philosophy classes. Heizou’s ate with him in the dining hall plenty of times now and they’re also taking the same psychology class. It feels so genuine and yet so fake at the same time. Too perfectly manufactured to be a mere coincidence. But you do your best to push past these suspicions, and when he sits across from you, smiling at you and saying how nice it is to meet you, the warping flames paint his face in devilish shadows. That’s what you think he is when he acts like a completely different person from how he was when you dated: a devil who’s good at being kind and outgoing, noisy and abrupt, and always so foul-mouthed, but in a way that makes him charming. Your friends are so enthralled. They love him and his sense of humor. They love his quick wit. They love how fun he is. And suddenly weekends spent in the forest aren’t so enjoyable.
You do your best to overcome your doubts. For a few months you’re on edge. How he even found you is a mystery. Surely he wouldn’t stalk you and enroll in the same college just to get revenge or…whatever vengeance he wants from you. But when he treats you to coffee, when he brings you and the others pastries every other morning, when he invites the lot of you to study at the library, when he tells the funniest stories while crossed and everyone’s giggling like schoolgirls it really feels like he’s…healthier. Like he’s turned a fresh page in his life and is starting anew. Like he’s changed for the better.
Perhaps he just doesn’t remember you. You’ve changed your style over the years, so it’s possible he’s simply forgotten your image and can’t place memories to your name. Eventually, after soothing yourself with these theories, you begin to accept his presence in the group. He fits in so flawlessly, as if he’s a missing piece to the puzzle, and you can’t believe you’re admitting this, but you like this version of Kuni. He’s confident, not cocky. He’s kind, not rude. He gives everyone space. In fact, he rarely texts frequently in the group chat. And he’s funny! He’s so funny. You don’t think the Kuni from your past was ever as funny as the Kuni who regales everyone with lighthearted stories of how he once took in a stray cat that turned out to belong to his neighbor or how his old job had the strangest customers.
Maybe he truly did change. Maybe all of these coincidences really are coincidences. Maybe it’s for the best that you leave the past in the past.
Finals season looms, and the group hasn’t had time to meet up outside of class. Venti has tried to persuade everyone to come study at his apartment. His roommate won’t care (yes, he will. Xiao hates it when everyone gets blackout drunk and he has to wake everyone come morning), but if you’ve known Venti long enough you’ll know there is no studying that happens at these study sessions. This is probably the reason why he’s had to repeat a year.
With everyone’s schedules packed with academics, it’s difficult to find a time where everyone can get together to study. You think you might just be better off studying on your own, but Kuni’s message of you wanna pull an all-nighter for these lame af finals together?? accompanied with a photo of snacks and coffee, any thoughts of studying alone instantly vanish.
This is how you find yourself in his dorm, sprawled on his bed while he sits on the floor, whacking your dangling feet when they get too close to him. His roommate Albedo is currently out tutoring a few students at the library and won’t be back until much later, so it’s just you, Kuni, and a pile of textbooks and notes. You’ve hung out with Kuni a few times and he was great company during each. You’ve also fallen asleep in his dorm before, when you’d come over to binge a show the both of you enjoy, and you’d lost track of time and had slipped into a dream halfway through the marathon. You’d woken the next morning with Kuni looming over you, grinning deviously and holding an uncapped marker. He’d leaned down and whispered, “You drool in your sleep,” and you’d swatted at him and groused about how you were sleeping so peacefully when he just had to ruin your sleep (and your face) with his antics. And then there was that time when you were so drunk at that one party and you could hardly stand, he’d been there to help. He even stayed with you for the rest of that night, offering his assistance when you became nauseous or needed water or a snack until you passed out.
Despite your initial apprehensions, you consider him a friend. He’s no one nearly as close as Rosalyne or your other friends. He’s just a mutual friend, someone you’ll spend time with when you feel like it, but you don’t truly need him in your life. That, and part of you still struggles to trust him after all of the stress and unhealthy obsession he subjected you to.
“Kuni,” you whine, lifting your head from the textbook. “Can you get me some water? I’m thirsty.”
“Do I look like your maid?” he snaps, immersed in organizing his notes. “Get it yourself.”
“I’m picturing it now and you’re in a frilly dress and—”
“Forget I asked.” Setting his notebook down with an exaggerated sigh, he crosses the distance to the mini fridge and withdraws a bottle of water.
Grinning, you slide off of his bed and reach for it with a grateful hum. He smirks and takes a step back, holding it away from you.
“Seriously…”
Rolling your eyes, you lunge for it and he side-steps you with the practiced grace of a cat. You brace yourself against the wall and swipe at him. Again, he dodges, unscrewing the cap and shaking the bottle teasingly.
“I think I’ll take a sip for myself. All of this studying has left me so parched.”
“No fair! That’s mine!”
“Is it?” He pulls it away from his lips to observe the bottle and feigns surprise. “That’s weird. I don’t see your name on it.”
“Look closer!” you exclaim, but just as he’s about to humor you you pounce, tackling him to the ground—there’s a beanbag cushion that breaks your fall—and the water spills all over the both of you in the midst of the tumble. A slew of colorful words stick in Kuni’s throat and your laughter rings out melodiously. You seize his wrist and hold it down while reaching for the bottle in his other hand, where there’s still some water left. He struggles halfheartedly, relinquishing the bottle with a disinterested scoff, and you pull away from him to down what’s left.
While crushing the plastic bottle into a ball, you notice something on your palm—the palm that had grabbed Kuni’s wrist—and it takes a minute before the skin tone-colored substance registers in your mind.
Concealer.
You peer at him and notice that he’s cradling his arm, and confusion sprouts.
“So funny,” he spits with a hollow laugh. “You owe me a new beanbag if this one’s ruined.”
“Hey, hold on. What’s with the—”
“Forget it. You got your water, so let’s get back to studying. Or do you no longer want to be a perfect student?”
Without thinking, you grab his arm as he’s standing and when you look at his forearm you can see where the water’s started to wash the concealer away. Curiously, you scrub at it while he tries to yank his arm away, but when you unearth a dozen scars littering his wrist and climbing the length of his arm that creeping cold from before returns.
And suddenly you’re brought back to those phone calls—the ones where he’d threaten suicide and murder—and you stumble back as if you’ve been burned, half-expecting to hear those threats once more. Kuni’s staring at his wrist, his features twisted in grim disapproval, and for a moment you think he looks…hurt. Or maybe that’s sadness you see. Whatever emotion it was, it doesn’t linger because a quiet chuckle slips past his lips, and the sound is so very frigid it has your blood crystallizing.
“It really hurt when you said you never wanted to see me again.” Kuni peers down at you, and his eyes that had once been so bright and filled with light are dull and dark. “But nothing hurts more than loving you.”
You open your mouth to say something—anything—but the words won’t come. You’re rooted to the ground, horror slinking through your body and rendering you immovable. Your heart is in your throat, pounding so loudly it’s practically a drum, and a cold sweat washes over you.
“Each time I found myself hating you, I thought it was odd because I love you so much. I can’t possibly hate the one I’ve loved all this time.” He scowls. “But loving you hurts. Loving you feels like chewing glass and drinking poison. Loving you isn’t fair because while you moved forward with your ‘friends,’ I was forced to stay behind and pick up the pieces of what was left of you. So for every moment I couldn’t stand you, I tallied it on myself so that I’ll never forget the times I loved you so much I hated you.”
This can’t be happening, you’re thinking, curling your hands into trembling fists. He changed. He changed, right? This isn’t the same Kuni from before. This isn’t…
“And when I saw how well you seemed to be doing without me, I hated you even more.” Without warning, he’s grabbed your arm and hoisted you up. You open your mouth to scream, but no sound comes—not that anything could when he’s pulled a switchblade from his pocket and poised the pointed tip at your jugular. “You have poor taste in friends. Those guys suck.”
Tutting, he shakes his head at you like a parent might when scolding a child, and says, “Do you know how fucking tiring it was pretending? You think I care about pastries and stupid campfire stories? You really think I’d ever want to associate myself with that sorry lot?”
“K-Kuni, please let go of me. I… I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were—I’m sorry. So please just…”
“And then the first time you see me after all these years apart and you had the gall to lie to my face! ‘I’ve never met him before.’ Bullshit. You just didn’t want any of your loser friends to know our history, right? Because you’re ashamed to have known me, right?”
“That’s not it! I… I was just—I didn’t… I was… I just…”
“I… I… I…” he mocks, shoving you down onto the beanbag. It dips under the sudden weight, and you sink further into it when he points the blade at you. “Stop tripping over your tongue. I should be the one near tears! You cast me aside and then forgot all about me. You abandoned me when I needed you most.” His voice cracks at that last sentence, and your heart skips erratically.
“That’s not what happened! We needed space. I needed space. You were being too—” You stop yourself, unsure of how to phrase it. Too controlling? Too dangerous? Too scary?
“Lucky for you, I’m willing to overlook these past...slights.” The blade twirls effortlessly in his grasp, and you heave a relieved breath when he’s no longer pointing it in your direction. “Marry me and we’ll forget all about the past. We’ll start over.”
His demand almost stops your heart altogether. You stare up at him, mouth agape, and mumble a disbelieving, “What?”
“You heard me.” He seems to soften with his next words, and for a moment he looks and sounds like the Kuni who hangs out with you and your friends. The harmlessly fun Kuni who always takes such good care of you. “You’re the only one I’ll ever love, so let’s get married.”
“K-Kuni, I can’t... I really can’t...”
Within seconds the blade has found itself on his wrist, pressing into delicate flesh. Not enough to cut, but if he applies more force you’ll definitely see blood. You choke on a horrified gasp.
“What was that?” He raises his brow at you, challenging you with a calm smile.
Your mind reels in an effort to conjure a plan. What can you even do? If you take the blade from him, will he turn his anger on you? Will you have to wrestle him into submission? And if you do manage to get out of his dorm, will anyone believe you? He’s painted himself in such a pleasant light. Your friends love and trust him! So what can you say? And if there isn’t any solid proof, no one will even entertain bringing the authorities into this mess.
“I’m waiting, (Name). Are you really going to make me add another tally? Do you really want me to hate you again? Oh, but maybe I should start marking you! We can add a slice for each time you failed to love me. That way we’ll both look like used cutting boards.”
You need help, you want to say, but the words escape you.
Instead, you nod hastily and say breathlessly, “Okay, yes! I’ll marry you!” Swallowing your horror, you glance at the blade as it’s lifted from his skin. Thankfully, there isn’t a cut. “I... I’ll marry you, Kuni. So... So please don’t hurt yourself. Please.”
It feels like you’ve been strangled for an eternity, so when he finally pockets the blade the air in your lungs returns and you collapse against the beanbag, chest rising and falling in short, panicked breaths.
“Good.” He bends down to your height, grips your chin with cold fingers, and forces you to meet his adoring stare. “We’ll look at rings tomorrow. Or maybe you’d prefer bracelets instead? I can be flexible but only for you, so you’d better be grateful.”
You swallow rising bile and nod. “T-Thank you.” You’re not sure why you’re thanking him when he hardly deserves it, but it feels like the right thing to say to ease the tension.
Kuni’s eyes sparkle, no longer a void of endless darkness, and when he leans in to capture your lips in his your heart sinks. You really can’t run from your past, can you?
#genshin chit chat#yandere-romanticaa#yandere scaramouche#scara says he needs you but what he really needs is a therapist first and foremost#adding heizou into the mix!!! he probably takes notice of your change in behavior#and confronts you one on one to ask if everything's okay#and he looks so concerned and his voice is so soft and so you break and spill everything#and he nods while he takes in all of this information before offering to help#he knows the law (he's studying it after all!) so he can help you#but what heizou doesn't tell you is that the law might crush one evil person but it can easily protect other evils :)#especially him who is oh-so-honorable and sweet#you'd never know he wants to be more than just friends#and that he has a journal detailing your every move#but also i like the idea of heizou being a genuine friend and the two of you grow closer while trying to find ways to get scara caught#and taken away from you for good#but yan!heizou just hits so deliciously orz#also also!! adding in rosalyne~~ she went to the same uni as kuni (in snezhnaya)#but when he finally found out where you were he transferred#and rosa only realized they went to the same school when she found out from ajax (who also attends the same uni)#kuni probably worked part-time as a hospital receptionist before he transferred schools#and he's pretty sure the doctor there is a serial killer or he's just on the border of criminally insane (this is dottore after all)#(me looking at every way i can insert each harbinger into this au >:D)
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Thinking thoughts about Abuela being back and with this backstory about her being taken in by charlatans and Eddies whole catholic guilt thing and how the two things kind of play into one another as an exploration of faith and being taken in by something.
Abuela giving all her money to the tarot card readers etc because she was searching for something - for connection (with Abuelo) - trying to recapture what she had lost, and How Eddie has spoken about trying to re-find the magic he had with Shannon - how Eddie hasn't actually fully reconciled the Shannon of it all when it comes to relationships and how his Catholic guilt connects into that.
How Marisol as a physical representation of Catholicism is part of that narrative - how Eddie is entering a place where he has to chose his path - in order to move on from Shannon he needs to fully square the hole - catholic or non catholic. And how that needs to happen first - before he can begin his queer journey!
#this is so incoherant#I'm also thinking about how Marisol fits into this narrative and how this idea of being taken in or fooled by a person plays into what we#know of her - how she wasn't upfront with Eddie (not saying she had to be right from the off but before moving in!!!) - how she is kind of#representative of secrets - especially around faith and ones connection with faith because she is essentially a stand in for catholicism#which (sorry to all the catholics out there) peddles in magic and secrets in order to keep the mystery of faith alive and therefore keep#people believing. How Eddie's reckoning with himself and the ghost of Shannon ultimately means choosing either to follow the path of#catholicism or non catholicism#How Marisol is a tie to religion and therefore his reasons for not having successful relationships after her (or even with her) and how#Eddie letting go will ultimately mean letting go of Marisol - how he can never fully move forward while catholicism still lingers#how I don't' think we'll be seeing the queer aspect of this narrative this season - that dealing with this first part is key and only once#he has figured it out can he then be free to know himself - is true self better - and accept and move into his full self as a queer man#so yeah - catholic guilt arc 7b and 8a - as its really a two parter - finally dealing with the remnants of Shannon - and its connection wit#his faith and then when truly free of that exploring his queerness!#So yeah - Marisol will possibly be here until towards the end of the season because she is meant to be the trigger point for Eddie in#relation to Shannon - its why they made the difference (and similarities) between S and M very obvious in 7x01#they have the time to build this story arc more fully now with the s8 renewal - to do it justice and unfortunately as part of that it means#she'll probably be around longer than any of us would like!#I don't know if I even make sense at this point#but I do want to reitterate that the show is goig out of its way to contrast her with Buck as well#to really show how close and right for each other Buck and Eddie are so no one needs to panic - she's here for the narrative not forever!#911 abc#911 spoilers#eddie diaz
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Late Night quick thing (New Age Sillies)
Bad news: That joke post about including Reset + Orchid is definitely not canon. (I legit got sad thinking about Reset being in a universe where Orchid isn't- because their stories are so so intertwined- but Nightmare 100% would NOT risk the whole twins exploding Error's soul thing.)
Good news: This means I COULD include Kane (Reset's older brother who usually dies in timelines where Reset is born) and use it to develope his character a bit more! Also! Perhaps a Blue × Dream kiddo is finally in the stars for me to design?
#new age au#really enjoying the idea of Reaper + Geno having an heir at some point (and them sending that heir over to Night's kingdom for#exposure to other places as well as to hang with his third cool knight dad who's hard at work 🙏)#Kane has little to no development besides being a perfect angel (foil to Reset's eventual turn to poor choices) so I'd love to do#to him what I do to every oc of mine. (Namely: Throw them into the Kingdom and see what they do.)#oh! and I could see Blue and Dream (beloved boys) listening to the warnings of possible complications if they try to have a lil babybones#and Dream deciding he'd take the risk and carry the growing soul#(<- though tbf this is MANY years into the future and they'd be well established knights of the realm)#i'm not evil so they *would* manage to avoid the twins curse and have a singular beautiful babybones#they'd get raised partially on the move but stay behind with Night and Error if the two had a more dangerous mission#and grow up to be an obnoxiously powerful warrior following after their dads#(but they'd probably be hesitant to follow into the footsteps of being a knight and might go on a quest with friends before choosing a#final path for themselves)#<- Most spoiled rotten kid ever. courtesy of Nightmare and Error and all their extended family <3#oh last note. Ancha has me cracking up w/ ideas for Cross potentially meeting someone and I was beamed w/ an old ship request post I saw and#I think it'd be funny to include Lust in here somehow... (probably call him smth else as a nickname but y'know-)#like. He works in the city around the castle as some sort of... idk tailor? and he's been making things for Nightmare for years without#knowing because Ccino always was discreet about the orders and providing measurements + always tipped well so it was none of his business#but one day it's like. before a big announcement ceremony or smth and Ccino drags Cross in by the scruff because no one can get him to get#clothes that actually fit aside from armor (hc he steals the others clothes a lot and wears 1 shirt until it's threadbare)#so Ccino makes him go to Lust and Lust is able to get him fitted for sone new outfits because. well. Lust doesn't do much but he's very very#handsome and Cross is super easily flustered and shy around new people and he's awkward and aughhh.#and then he thinks about the interaction for the next month before deciding he's going to ask Ccino to go back there again.#and Lust likes dressing Cross up in new outfits (everyone thinks it's great Cross is loosening up and meeting new friends cuz Lust introduce#s him to people in town) and it takes forever for Cross to get over his worries and ask Lust out to a ride on his horse (romantic. of course#) and Lust agrees because he's charmed.#and the best part would be Cross *actually* manages to keep it a secret. like. no one finds out until one morning Killer bursts into Cross'#room to wake him for surprise training and it's Cross. the weird Dog. and- holy shit did Cross have someone over???#Cross pulls the cool ones frfr 🙏#it's just a casual thing between them with little plot relevance or drama I think. just a chill lil relationship 🙏
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Voyage of the Damned (1976)
"Will we ever come back?"
"It's only a temporary madness. Of course we come back."
#voyage of the damned#stuart rosenberg#david butler#steve shagan#faye dunaway#oskar werner#lee grant#sam wanamaker#lynne frederick#julie harris#wendy hiller#maria schell#max von sydow#malcolm mcdowell#georgina hale#orson welles#james mason#katharine ross#victor spinetti#a... conflicting film. the true story of the voyage of the St. Louis‚ carrying Jewish refugees from Germany on the eve of WW2‚ and the#efforts of her captain‚ and of various individuals aboard and elsewhere‚ to secure the safety of her passengers as country after country#refused them entry; that is a powerful story and deserved telling and telling well. and sometimes this nails it: more than once i was in#tears‚ there are individual scenes of great impact‚ and deeply moving performances and writing contained here. but just as often‚ the sheer#spectacle of the treatment risks obscuring the message; this was an 'all star' movie‚ heavily promoted as such‚ and at 2.5 hrs long it can#feel bloated and overblown. idk‚ less than the sum of its parts (some of which are profoundly affecting: Victor Spinetti silently weeping#as he waits to hear if his children will be allowed to join him in Cuba‚ every scene with Katherine Ross). the cast might be distractingly#starry (and also unfortunately mostly gentile‚ a disappointing misstep by producers) but some are doing incredible work here#of particular note is Werner‚ in his final ever screen role‚ and at this point more or less written off by the film world as a hopeless#alcoholic who couldn't be trusted to turn up‚ let alone act: he delivers one of his finest‚ most complex performances and in the process#recaptures some of the magical screen presence of his youth
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FINALLY
#coil#this is the final stretch unironically. all of the writing in this chapter has ultimately been about getting up to this point#this initial ending of my thoughts that i was going to do in chapter 2#also sayori's back yayyyy!#i have a catastrophic amount of editing of the parts leading up here to do because i did cut some corners here and there#and do want my quality to be consistent and to be able to make it all work#but i finally found my transitioning point#and just need to fix it all up#then i can finally just bring it home by writing additional dialogue#which will still take a while. but it finally looks like i'll be able to finish this project before the year ends#i'll probably take a small break after. or i'll throw myself head first into something else#i'll actually probably finish some other pieces of content i've wanted to make before i finish coil#but i finally got to the stopping point i've been trying to reach for weeks#things are moving along! yippeeeeee#i'll be doing a full read through again to really make sure all the quality is up to standard and that it all flows but you know how it is#i have a few other things i want to focus on finishing before the year ends on top of this so that'll be something else on the burners#but the rest of this should be a whole lot smoother from here#i want to let myself flourish for these bits so i feel proud and accomplished and good about finishing this finally#but this has involved a lot of bashing my head against a wall so inevitably that will take time as i cool myself back down#beta reading will happen soonish.
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Ya gal officially has 4 jobs🤪
#personal*#jess talks#you’re not looking at a full time freelance illustrator/graphic designer | Etsy shop owner | early years playworker & Sainsbury’s employee#😂😂😂#so happy honestly cus it means I’ll be earning like £1k a month with both part times combined#AND still have time to run my shop/do commissions!!#I genuinely thought I’d have to give up my art stuff#but low-key this is the best outcome ever#I can finally start saving to move out and get my license😭#even just a motorbike will do me wonders#and I can drive that without a full license#but omg guys I’m so fuckin happy#the new job is legit 2 seconds from my house too😭 (it’s the village shop on my road)#so I can pick up more shifts if I want and not stress about travel#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SCREAMING
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Insane what loving a character so much can do to their costuming-
#sham's art#shamsbabs#iliana#both her aor and canon compliant costume lineups#i'm planning on cracking outside canon and giving each world a unique costume to work with#well aside from the fantasy worlds they'll get their own universal costume that could fit any of their settings#i don't have that much brain power making princess costume no. 96 or whatever#even so these were just part of my ref redesign effort so that'll have to come later anyway#i have 5 more of her refs to complete and i can finally move on hallelujah#again insane what loving a character so much can do-#kingdom hearts oc#kh oc#army of the roses#this is probably the only thing i'll post for a while#moving again soon so my free time is gonna be dedicated to packing ✌#in fact as i'm queuing this i should by now have gotten out of bed to get started lmao#i can only hope anyway
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part 11/26ish
anyone remember those scales with the springs in 'em? all i ever see these days are digital scales but those things made the best noises. i think i've seen some kitchen scales that still use spring mechanisms, but it's been a while.
technology is weird.
from the beginning
#otherkin hrt#fictionkin hrt#fictionkin#otherkin#digihrt#dg arts#-apomon#updates might slow down from daily since our brain ceased letting us do art about halfway through bfsdhjfbjshdbfs#oh well#i'm thinking of doing another fake in-universe pamphlet for a bonus though#specifically like talking about the “weight” stat#fun fact: we'd never stepped on a scale in almost a decade before finally seeing a doctor for the first time in that 10 years last year#we used to obsess over our weight in a way inherited from our mom's diet culture BS and then like#i'm pretty sure we split someone in the system who just managed to not give a shit#and everyone else that did basically got put in time out or fragmented to hell (we still don't know)#i think about this post i saw a while ago that talked about how like#weight (specifically as it is medicalized) shouldn't be a concern so much as if you're moving your joints and stretching them enough#and it should really only be a concern when it drastically changes in a short period of time because it can sometimes be indicative of#your body flipping its lid#the post talked about rapid weight loss specifically and how a lot of doctors will go “oh wow weight loss!! yay :)” when like.#no??? not yay???#anyways some medications can cause weight fluctuations too#our fibro medication can cause weight gain and tbh i don't give so much of a shit about that as i am curious about the mechanics behind it#our relationship to weight is mostly informed by being the one person in our family who never had to deal with fatphobia targeting them#but just because we weren't the target didn't mean it didn't affect us when our mom's whole life shifted around WW#i didn't want to delve into that in this comic tbh so aside from the little bonus pamphlet this is the last time it's brought up#but like a comic where we take a version of ourself through this kind of transition would inevitably have to touch on relationships to food#we're just lucky we finally found out that we can actually like... enjoy food without it hurting us?#part of the wish fulfillment of this scenario would (and is) the idea of getting to enjoy food without bodily discomfort#because on top of us almost developing an ED we also just have a garbage stomach
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who knew that some agere people would be the worst type of people to exist (talking about you spinny)
#dont get your toddler army to do your anon hate and unblock me on discord if u want to talk#ik you act like a baby and thats fine but if youre bold enough to try to get me paranoid (and fail) then u should be bold enough to dm me#yknow without hiding yourself#either do that or leave us alone girl!! move on#like why do you preach about moving on to a new era and then actively seek out trouble ????#get a job or something#trying to make me think my bf is cheating on me is such a weird thing to do and a big low for you spinny. it's actually sad#the worst part youre not even good at doing it. youre making shit up from what you THINK you know & hiding behind ur friend#its okay to fall out of friendships and im not even trying to meddle with your life but you are literally actively seeking out problems#and thats so pathetic. especially when you paint yourself all high and might over us ??? clearly we tried everything for you#until we got to a point where we were literally drowning because we have other shit in our lives too#you keep losing friends and complain about it. maybe consider why??? because of lack of communication and empathy!! youre just mean!#especially to those who've always tried so hard to have your back and defend you! (buka and me!!!)#yet you didnt care. you dont communicate and expect us to read minds & you demand things#and u say that a real friend should know when to reach out & ya but when it gets to a point where i feel like im drowning? no thanks#im prioritizing myself and my mental health im sorry#not to mention i was ALWAYS IN THE MIDDLE IN YOUR BULLSHIT#so grow up. actually. and if you wanna dm me then unblock me and we can talk#if you want to keep hiding behind your toddler friends acting like youre all small and sweet and babies then go ahead but leave us alone?#at least ill have closure and finally come to terms that you're not rlly a good person and u use your illnesses to excuse ur behavior#because i still think about you and wish you were our friend but after everything thats happened (this being the cherry on top for ME)#then maybe you really just are a shitty person and you do more harm than good#soz to everyone else reading this just continue scrolling LOL#its drama cus an ex friend is sending their toddler militia on me for some reason???#delete later
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only way i'm accepting the apology video that's no doubt going to come from watcher in the next few days is if ryan and shane decide to throw steven out altogether
#this is a joke but it also isn't#i do believe the paywall was mainly his idea as a ceo + he was most definitely behind the decision to hire andrew and that other guy#if you're already having budget problems you don't just go around hiring new people just bc they were your buzzfeed buddies#and you want to go to fancy restaurants eating gold-covered truffle with them#that being said i'm not babyfying ryan and shane either bc even if it was his idea (big if there) they still agreed to it and >#that's just so yikes. i'm so disappointed in them#i've been watching them from the beginning. i've loved them from the buzzfeed days in 2015 and then from the very first episode of unsolved#(i even wrote fics of them they were That Big of a hyperfixation)#i've followed them from day one when they moved to watcher too#as time passed i distanced myself from their content a bit just bc 1) it became a bit too professional and lost that genuine cozy feeling :#and 2) they started pushing steven into most of the content and i always ALWAYS got such a bad vibe from him i literally couldn't watch any#> content he was in. i thought people liked him so i was convinced it was a me problem but now i see people agreeing#and i can finally live my truth. don't be shy throw him out#they'd still have to regain the trust of their fanbase after such a slap in the face but at least part of the trash would be taken out#watcher#ramblings
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What is a Monday? A miserable little pile of obligations.
semester turnover restructure
generate/send out error reporting
figure out how to separate out unique counts
create polite reply to Massive Dick Move email
finish the bad book >:(
bò kho (not an obligation. dinner)
laundry
lizard bath
#yapping tag#I spent my weekend trying to sleep and now all my chores are due today and I wanna complain. grump grump grump whine.#the semester turnover restructure actually is a pet project so that part I like! I wish I could take my time with it though#the error reporting is. well it's easy to generate (it's actually running now) and it's tedious but uncomplicated to send out#but then I'm going to spend the rest of the day getting passive-aggressive responses from everybody#in a just world my coworkers would respond to careful itemized lists of all their fuckups with 'thank you Alexis you're so helpful#we really appreciate you flagging our mistakes two weeks before the system final-saves them forever into stone. have a cookie!'#but alas#if I'd been any less stressed and frantic when I first established the error reporting I'd have set up a separate address to send them from#write up some template emails and let the reporting all come out of the mythical 'automatic system thing'#--every 'automatic system thing' in our college is me or IT on my behalf. even the people who hired me for this don't seem to realize#if only I'd known from the beginning that nobody would ever connect me and my systems! I'd be exploiting the shit out of it--#the unique counts is going to be a headache. no idea how I'm going to structure the coding for it. might be fun to invent? we'll see#the Massive Dick Move email response also will be an invention. 'hello Mr Massive Dick I am karma here to smite you' but polite#the bad book >:( I don't want to read any more of but the deal I made with my friend is he sends me free books and I report back#we did not discuss a special 'get out of book free' card for when the main character is a godawful shit sibling. (should've done though)#beef stew is good! mostly it's on the list so I don't forget to set the timers#laundry and lizard bath can wait until tomorrow if they must but they shouldn't wait any longer than that. lizard and I will get stinky
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you guys… we did it!!!
just wanted to thank you everyone for being a part of this blog… “big things to come soon”
#i am proud and happy about it because this blog came from my moving blogs in 2021#and on my past blog i had about 1000 followers so it’s like i finally regained that reach#which i’m specifically excited by because this blog (contrary to my previous one) is ONLY about the witcher books with no n*tflix talk#like ik ohhh ‘you are a fandom blog you have no rights’ but it makes me happy that we’re all gathered here together for the same thing :)#i don’t think fandom has to be an inherently toxic or immature space i think it can be a meaningful place of discussion and participation#the elbow-high diaries#updates#it’s kind of an interesting thing the witcher books fandom in english in the 2020s i am really very curious where it goes from here#it’s interesting to me because it’s such a specific and unique situation of media spread#it’s not like the witcher is unpopular or indie—it’s extremely popular. a mass pop culture phenomenon#at the same time the english-speaking (and in my case specifically american) fandom is primarily built around tw3 and then now n*tflix#even if the books were read and successful in the english market i mean they did not have the same kind of cultural impact#so it’s particularly of interest to me to boost visibility and yes indeed—fandom—conversation around the witcher books#and for me i like thinking through what that looks like—#an english-speaking (including not limited to american) fandom without anglifying or americanizing it#or at the very least *trying* to not anglify or americanize it. because some amount of it is unintentional yet necessary (i.e. translation)#but even in translation for example. the kind of translation and how it’s gone about. there is potential for cultural learning and#the most faithful translations will not make total sense so as the readers you go and look for that context and learn something#all part of a larger discussion and i kind of got lost typing these tags but this is why this milestone is special to me#it shows that people are interested in what this blog posts about and that means we have a future to explore
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Honor Blackman guest stars as art expert Syd Lewis in Saber of London: Deep in the Heart of Chelsea (1.3, NBC, 1957)
#fave spotting#honor blackman#cathy gale#saber of london#the vise#the avengers#classic tv#deep in the heart of chelsea#1957#nbc#so im visiting parents for a week or two and taking the opportunity to catch up on my old tv watching as i have access to my beloved#dvd collection. Saber was one of the final network releases I've located (after‚ i might say‚ a long long search for a reasonably priced#copy). so. the story of Saber of London. (deep breath). SoL is really a development of The Vise; for more on the needlessly complex history#of that series you can follow the appropriate tag above. in short The Vise was a crime anthology made specifically for US tv but produced#in the UK using brit actors writers and directors. the recurring character of Mark Saber was popular enough that the show eventually became#The Vise: Mark Saber; it then became Saber of London. some sources still regard this show as essentially being a later series of The Vise#(and it does still use the og theme tune over the end credits) but considering the title change and (crucially) the fact that SoL saw the#series move from ABC to NBC‚ im gonna consider this its own self contained show and number the episodes accordingly (ie. this is series 1 o#Saber of London not series 5 or 7 (depending on your counting) of The Vise). anyway now that's all out of the way.#there's little material difference between this series and the slightly earlier The Vise: Mark Saber episodes besides new titles and a#different introductory spiel from star Donald Gray. our hero is still a plucky private detective undertaking modest cases that the show's#budget will allow. this ep concerns art forgeries and an attempt to trap the criminals responsible‚ which means Saber must call on an art#expert to help authenticate the works. enter Honor! not yet a star‚ Honor did have a decade of acting experience behind her#which is maybe reflected in the fact that she's given an unusually meaty part for a woman in this series: she's neither victim nor love#interest (which are the usual roles) but a witty and intelligent source of assistance to the hero.#unlike The Vise episodes (which could take up to a decade to appear in the uk if they did at all) SoL appears to have had a fairly regular#slot from Granada about two years after the show's US premier. this ep would have been seen by uk audiences in 1959
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.
#.txt#a bunch of clubs near me are having emo and anime nights and i need to meet and make friends w people i can go to the club w……#like i feel like i for sure have some friends i feel like would go clubbing w me ??#but for the most part they live in other time zones so thats. not happening any time soon .#and the friends i have who are local dont really seem the clubbing type ??#that or theyre work friends and i am not sending an invite to go clubbing in the group chat w one of the people who hire me in it .#im a seasonal worker and have to reapply each summer they dont have to renew my contract each year orz#but also theyre genuinely really cool and itd feel rude to not invite her fkjdsh#like id genuinely go w her if not for the whole id like to return next summer thing :( :(#we literally hung out for a bit after meeting up unexpectedly at a con !!! we both cosplay from the same series !!!#and i feel like an emo night would be right up her alley from what i know of their music taste :')#but once again i would like to remain rehireable and so orz#anyway though moving on from that#im also just a bit too introverted and more importantly short and high fem to feel safe and comfy going on my own;;#at least for the first few times i go to a specific event#Especially when i can't drive and won't be able to just leave if things start to go south or i feel otherwise unsafe#i feel like a group would just help w that :')#i could just wait until whenever my friends who are more likely to go come over to visit next sure#but if were sticking to our rotation that wont be for another two or so years .#shit sucks man fhsdkjf#maybe ill just learn how to drive finally for real and go in a way thats safer for me#it's not like im much of a drinker anyway#but also it seems like itd be more fun to go w friends :( :(
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