#FANTASY. where it doesn't have to make SENSE

[ughtyrell]

Yearning Jayce

Where Jayce knows he's inlove with his partner and believes they'd be great together as partners in every sense but Viktor never lets it develop towards that. A split second decision leads Jayce to meeting and getting to know a man who resembles Viktor.

Once, back when they were in the very early days of creating hextech together, the beginning of being partners, did they almost cross the line of being more. After they proved that their theory worked and after it was concluded they would be allowed to continue their research and be given a lab. The passion they now shared almost led them to a different kind of passion. Before Viktor got ahold of himself and said for the sake of their new partnership and work it would be a better idea to keep their relationship professional so they could avoid any messy mishaps sexual or romantic entanglement could bring. Jayce being a man who would never want to make or push someone into something, agreed. Even if privately he thought he could see himself loving Viktor.

And love he did. Just because they never got involved like that, never stopped Jayce from falling for Viktor deeply. Only Viktors words that night have kept him from acting on them. Sure there were moments where he edged the barrier, a moment when he thought now he should bring it up again. Everytime it was as if Viktor could read his mind and with a look or a warning tone as he said Jayces name, would be enough to make sure Jayce never said the words out loud.

So can anyone blame Jayce for his moment of weakness years later when he saw a man who reminded him of Viktor vaguely. If he squinted a tiny bit, turned his head a bit it was as if Viktor was this random beauty walking down a Piltover street. Blame it on the loneliness he feels even when he's with his partner, blame the sick yearning he's felt all these years, blame the fact that even if it sometimes feels like he and Viktor would be perfect together Viktor would never allow it, Jayce calls out to this man.

It was supposed to be just a small indulgence, ask this stranger to coffee, just enough to quench Jayces curiosity and fantasy of a date with his partner. Nothing harmful in that except the wound to Jayces own pride that he's doing something like this because he's weak and wants Viktor so much. Then it's as if someone is picking on Jayce when he learns this strangers name is Vince. What are the chances of this stranger both sharing features and a similar name as his partner who he's inlove with?

It escalates from there. An abrupt spur of the moment coffee date then is just one of many when Vince asks when Jayce is going to take him out again? When Jayce realizes that he actually doesn't mind the company. Gives him something to think about and look forward to that doesn't include him working the in the lab with someone who won't love him back? As much as he loves being in the lab with Viktor everyday for hours, sometimes it feels unbearable to know they can't have more together. It's not as if it's serious. Jayce can indulge in this he reasons. It's healthy to have a life outside of work, he could burn out if he's not careful. So what if he take a lunch break somewhere out of the lab sometimes? A earlier night home here and there so he can meet Vince for dinner and even lately, bring him home? A shared breakfast after those nights that are becoming more and more often? Even if they don't meet for dinner at a respectable time, Vince is amenable to bringing takeout from somewhere to Jayces apartment if it means he can stay the night again.

It's nice. Jayce isn't inlove with Vince but he's happy. Vince seems happy with it all as well. Even after Jayce confessed about how he's stuck in a hopeless one sided relationship with his lab partner. Even as he confessed that he only approached Vince that one evening because he sort of vaguely reminded him of Viktor because he felt so guilty and did not want to lead this handsome, sweet looking but absolutely devious man on. Who wasn't pleased but he also told Jayce they've only just met and Jayce really did not owe Vince anything. But from now on Jayce better start to see Vince as only himself and not get him confused with his lab partner. Which of course Jayce promised he did already but he'd make sure to keep it that way.

One day Viktor comments on it when Jayce says he is going to head home for the day. Remarking on how Jayce has been taking off earlier than their usual midnight farewells more and more often lately. This is when he learns how Jayce is seeing someone.

[em-dashes]

i don't know why i'm doing so much research into real theories on faster-than-light travel and getting caught up on all the caveats like time dilation and acceleration and how a human body would not be able to handle the G-force blah blah blah when a billion sci-fi works have just casually had FTL travel and nobody questions it. it's SCIENCE. it's FICTION.

[bacchuschucklefuck]

while teen while goblin while aroace while injured while doing your best

[kirkwallguy]

i find the whole grand necropolis to be so world breaking even though i know it was established in the lore before datv, like nevarra's under the chantry law how have they not gotten exalted marched on yet?

i thiiiink like there's lore to support them not being exalted marched (from my vague memory?) but as more of a vibes guy than a lore guy and the vibes definitely felt WAY off. if the necropolis was structured more like a circle with a few floors of dangerous restricted areas i would have found it interesting but it just feels so fake and not grounded in the way areas in other games' were. this is my complaint for pretty much all of vg though, and the necropolis and the anderfels are the worst to me because they were the ones i was most looking forward to so they're the ones i find the most disappointing

[notacatdown]

It makes even less sense when its already been established that this is magical world where 1) a single talisman can make someone execute a complicated action and 2) one person has the power to alter the memories of an entire village for years on end, and there's no magical way to check. An experienced demon hunter like Mu Sheng should have basic safety protocols. If any friend or relative isn't acting like themselves, the first step should be to strip them of any possible magical item.

What was the point of testing the bracelet? He should have just yanked the bracelet off. It's like seeing people on fire and not wanting to get close to them to throw water over them because they're naked. In an emergency situation, there is an exemption for everyday politeness.

In the novel, Miaomiao breaks out of the love puppet spell in a day when Mu Sheng mentions her dad. This is suppose to be Miaomiao's moment and to show the strength of familial/platonic love.

---

As Love Game in Eastern Fantasy progresses, there is this unshakeable feeling that the original protagonist group are the stepchildren and the new characters (Cuicui, Guo Xiu, the marquis, Liu Fuyi's master, and Liu-niang) are the biological children. For example, a scene meant to show a shift in Miaomiao and Mu Yao's relationship and their characterization is replaced with shining the spotlight on Guo Xiu.

^ This scene is about him being funny, and how he's going against the rules to save the day. It does nothing for Mu Yao's character.

The screenwriter's new characters are like pretty markers, and she draws a pretty palette with each of them, but what I want to see is a multi-colored drawing. How they're blended together how they contrast and highlight each other. For example, it would have been interesting for Mu Yao to rethink her idea of what a hero is after meeting Guo Xiu.

In the novel, the group doesn't split up. Originally, this is a scene where Miaomiao and Mu Yao are together. Liu Fuyi is out of commission. Mu Sheng is separated from them. Mu Yao has no confidence that they will make it out alive, but she pushes those feelings down. She goes into big sister mode and wants to get Miaomiao to safety even though that will make her own situation worse.

From the comments on the webnovel and manhua sites, this is a moment that the readers collectively cheer for Mu Yao. This is the best of Mu Yao. This scene reminds us why Miaomiao admires Mu Yao. Its not because Mu Yao is a heroine that has already conquered her fears. It's Mu Yao's acts of altruism and heroism inspite of her very human qualities of insecurity and negative feelings.

As for Miaomiao's side, she doesn't have goddess-level powers in the novel, but that's the point of Miaomiao. That she changes the plot and has a positive impact on the Mu siblings as an ordinary person in an extraordinary world. Her warm presence and her joking around during this dire situation is what lifts Mu Yao's spirits.

(The fox demoness arc originally shows how similar the Mu siblings are. For example, their first thought is to send Miaomiao away and handle everything on their own because that's what they're used to. And Miaomiao will not have any of it. They're so much happier when Miaomiao is around.)

After going through this experience, Mu Yao treats Miaomiao as a friend that she can emotionally rely on versus her friend that she has to protect. We also see this in the drama where Mu Yao babies Mu Sheng and Miaomiao and places unfair amount of responsibility on herself, but the second part of this would have been that she realizes its okay to seek comfort from her friends. Instead, the drama gives us Mu Yao's two bouts of noble idiocy. So frustrating!

If Guo Xiu can teleport to Mu Yao, then surely Miaomiao with her goddess-level powers that can transcend time and parallel worlds can

It would be super fun to have Guo Xiu as a coworker, and his monologues are entertaining, but his character and the other new characters are not written to share the spotlight.

---

More of a comment for how Cuicui and the marquis is written. The drama reminds me of how some fanfiction writers pour their love into their newly created characters in fanfics at the expensive of the actual protagonists from the original work. They create problems (love bracelet) for the actual protagonists and have their new characters solve them for the protagonists.

Neither Miaomiao nor Mu Sheng can remove the bracelet because that would take away the marquis's moment. Mu Sheng has to give up on Miaomiao and leave. Otherwise, Cuicui can't deliver the letter to him.

I don't think its entirely the screenwriter. All the changes from the original script dilute Miaomiao's character. For example the ones in ep 18: https://www.tumblr.com/notacatdown/778955556356538368

https://www.tumblr.com/notacatdown/769410748395995136

Ziqi trying to see if Miaomiao is under a spell (and being heartbroken that he can't find anything) ( ;´ - `;)

Love Game in Eastern Fantasy 永夜星河 (2024) | ep. 18

[probablyaparadox]

Y'all can someone explain to me how Kay is Arthurs adoptive brother while they're both the sons of Uther Pendragon and adopted by the same holy knight... I'm struggling.

[works-of-heart]

All of this! Elain and Lucien knowing what they are to each other upfront means they can actually choose to accept or reject this. Elain has been choosing what she wants to do this whole time. She chose to pursue Az at solstice even knowing her mate was in the other room. What's brilliant about this is we see how her Choice in that moment, her choice to pursue him, opened her eyes to realize that he's not it. Az calling their actions a mistake slammed the breaks for her, hitting her like the moment Graysen rejected her. Her mate would never.

Elain choosing to explore outside of her mating bond gives her all the freedom and understanding that maybe there's a reason she was put with Lucien, and the moment she spends time with him it will all make sense.

And to add, this is a fantasy series where fate and destiny are the main point. Look at ToG, Aelin could choose to settle and have a normal life, or take up the mantle and complete her destiny. These are stories of women who are deemed for something greater, and that thought can be scary, terrifying even. There's always a want to choose something different, to want normalcy and peace, but also knowing that you could change everything for the better. It reminds me of Elain's quote "you cant have it both ways. You can't resent me for wanting a quiet and peaceful life and forbid me from doing anything greater" (paraphrasing because I dont remember it verbatim). Elain is in a time where she can choose who and what she wants to be, along with who she wants to be with.

We were told some mates are a bad fit, but what made them bad?? Oh, it was their whole personality. Rhys' dad took his mother as soon as the bond snapped, Tamlin said his mother was very different from his father and would never speak ill towards him. Thats how the children saw their relationship. But also, we know that Lucien isnt like that at all. We've seen Lucien, we've gotten to know him and know that he's nothing like those men.

If Sarah really wanted us to root for a rejection, she would have made it obvious that Lucien wasn't good for Elain. Not just have Elain avoid him, but show exactly why. Show Lucien as controlling, or that he doesn't believe she can handle things on her own. Show his entitlement, "she belongs to me!" Or any number of traits that we'd get the picture that he's no good for her.

Instead all we get is Elain avoiding him when he's done nothing but give her space. He doesn't push himself on her, doesn't demand anything from her. He told Feyre he'd never hurt her and he kept his word.

Elain said she didn't want a mate, or a male, she wanted Graysen. So she shouldnt go with Az either because he is a fae male. Yet people have said she's changed her mind. So if she can change her mind to wanting a male, she can absolutely change her mind to wanting a mate.

Like it or not, Elain choosing her mate, choosing to accept her fate, is in fact, a choice. Especially for someone who is a seer, who can see things that are destined, things that could come to pass, and she has the choice to accept that or change it. Elain's fate has always been in her hands, the moment she decides what she wishes to do with it.

Do you know what they’re saying about their belief that Elain is being forced to be with Lucien and that’s why her story will center on choice to not be with him? It makes no sense to me especially since we’ve seen that Feysand and Nessian in a way, had even less control over their feelings for each other because they didn’t know fate was involved. Elain and Lucien have known about their bond from the very beginning meaning MORE choice. What makes them think Elain has less choice than Feyre or Nesta? What’s their reasoning for hating the Elucien bond, when compared to Feyre and Nesta Elain doesn’t even hate her mate? Feyre and Nesta clearly did hate or at least borderline hated theirs at first.

So when Nesta, word for word said, "I don't know what I want. I didn't have a choice" and when Cassian responded, "Well, I didn't have a choice in being shackled to you, either" they somehow got the impression other pairings had more choice than Elain and Lucien?

The fact is none of them got to choose who their mate was. Not Rhys, not Feyre, not Lucien or Elain. Had Lucien been able to choose he probably would have chosen Jesminda way back when. For Elain it would have been Graysen. Had Rhys gotten to choose my guess is he would have never gone searching in the human lands for his possible mate. For Az? Mor, hands down. Feyre would have wanted Tamlin to be hers in ACOWAR and the start of ACOMAF.

Where is the outrage over lack of support for those pairings? Elain desperately wanted to return to Graysen but I don't think a single person in this fandom was hopeful for their reunion.

The LoA chose to stay with Beron, does that mean we should respect that for her character or are we still allowed to hope that she finds a way to break free from him?

I think Sarah has demonstrated through her writing that "choice" is trash unless it's accompanied by other important factors.

The other sides fixation on choice and choice alone reads a bit like "But Daddy I Love Him." Sure, someone can choose to be with whoever they want but when he turns out to be a lying, cheating, deadbeat who leaves you alone and pregnant at 16 years old you start to realize that maybe there is more to dating than freedom to choose.

I'm not religious (and I know Sarah is Jewish) but Sarah's message seems more "Jesus, Take the Wheel." Where you realize there are times when you have to accept there being forces at work that know a bit more than us. Where even a 500 something year old fae (and especially not a 20 something year old human who doesn't fully understand magic) is still not as wise and all knowing as the creator of all. No, someone doesn't have to like the Fated Mates trope and they can choose not to read it but you can't act like Sarah J Maas feels the same. To her, it is a beautiful thing, to have Fate know better and though her FMCs initially push against their mates in an act of rebellion, after healing and growth they finally see why that person was made in the likeness of the other half of their soul.

"But Sarah wrote some bonds aren't matched!" Yeah, for characters we could not give a shit about. Sorry but does anyone really care that Rhys's dad and mom were a poor fit? They gave us Rhys, right? Nobody is about to wish away his creation which led to his meeting Feyre which led to us reading about all our favorites just because some want to take up the crusade about choice but only for one particular pairing.

As the author, it's as simple as putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) for Elain and Lucien to choose each other in the next book (or the one after). They conveniently forget how Sarah also said, "is it choice? Is it fate? Or is it both?" Feysands romance is wildly celebrated and that romance was clearly "both" since Rhys knew about his bond with Feyre early on and she said her heart knew he belonged to her even before she realized it so why would she want any of her other main characters to have something less than that? Why, when Feysand, Quinlar, Rowealin, and Nessian had Fate and Choice at work in their relationships, wouldn't she want that for Elain / Lucien, Az and possibly Gwyn?

And you're right, Elain and Lucien knowing about their bond gives them more choice than either Feyre or Nesta. All Feyre and Nesta had was the illusion of choice but it was only ever that, an illusion, because they felt drawn to Rhys and Cassian from the start but didn't understand why and falling in love with them was never actually organic because it was the bond tugging them to one another the whole time. At least Elain and Lucien have had the time as individuals to keep their distance and sort through the different emotions they're experiencing, "is this me or is this the bond?" in a way that the other pairings never did.

She's not going to give any of her pairings less than what her other couples have. The only difference is in the angst and tension they experience along the way. For Feysand, it was Rhys who knew about their bond first. For Nessian, they both suspected from the start but didn't really know for sure until they fell in love. For Rowealin, she knew first. For Quinlar, it was something they realized simultaneously after becoming friends then falling in love. And for Elucien, it was something that happened when they were complete strangers locking eyes for the first time.

Choice means nothing when it's clear the FMCs "choice" would be one that holds her back from reaching her full potential and that's exactly what Elain choosing Az would be.

[ilovettrpgs]

What's ttrpgs?

I just stared at my screen like this

[tenok]

.

[teaboot]

Kinda gotta admire the tiktok instagram cottagecore tradwife hoes a little bit.

Like. THEY know that the perfect pretty obedient natural-makeup gently-coiffed rural June Cleaver, barefoot-and-pregnant in a sweet little peasant dress, baking fresh bread24-7 housewife doesn't exist.

They KNOW she doesn't exist. They know she CAN'T exist- that nobody can maintain that façade without burning out eventually-

but they also know that the political divide between men and women is deeper than ever in North America, that men as a demographic are getting increasingly angry and conservative and lonely (fuck off terfs and radfems i can sense your bioessentialism coming), and that women aren't legally beholden to them anymore.

This is one of the first generations in North America where women aren't entirely reliant on finding a husband and keeping him happy to survive, to hold a bank account or live apart from their parents, and so what men are dealing with is several hundred years of being told that REAL men have hot fuckable agreeable wives and...a present reality where nobody is lining up to apply for that position.

So what these shills have done- and they ARE shills- is that they've seen that divide, that niche that isn't being filled, that role that's so unpleasant but so desired- and they've constructed a caricature for profit.

Women aren't naturally more gentle, or parental, or submissive. Women aren't naturally, effortlessly smooth and soft and hairless and desiring of simple tasks to fill their time and a big, strong provider to protect them.

But generations of marketing and media have told us it's POSSIBLE, if not for those pesky man-hating feminist libs and their oversensitive woke culture lashing out at Normal Folks for no good reason.

Like- they're selling themselves, the characters they're playing, as an IMAGE, as a FANTASY, and they rely on people BELIEVING in that fantasy to keep the money rolling in.

The people who buy into it sincerely, the women who give up their degrees and careers and financial freedom for this "simple, peaceful life" we ALL desire in some form, away from stress and technology and horrible things on the news... only to get trapped with six children and a partner with all the power who could up and strand them at any moment... they're just collateral.

Like, "Shame it didn't work out for you, have you tried losing weight and trying harder? Maybe some extra Adult Time? He wouldn't have to chase someone younger and prettier if you'd just take care of yourself and put out more."

I on't hate this faux-humble faux-simple wannabe-amish bullshit just because I grew up rural and know it's fucking stupid, hard work and blood and shit and cow piss and placement in the rain kinda crap.

I ALSO hate it because these women are straight-up class traitors, selling off not just their own image as people, but everyone else's, just to make some paper on a grift.

You know Marie Antoinette used to wear sweet little milkmaid-style dresses and play with lambs in the field, just like the poors?

Never mind that she OWNED the land, and the field, and the people, the cute little frocks, and didn't help the sheep birth, or bury the dead premies, or slaughter for meat, or fight off wolves and dogs, ferrets and foxes and rats with a stick in the winter.

It was just fashionable to pretend.

Sweet and coquettish and Quaint.

THAT is why I hate that shit, and THAT is why I give a fuck.

[ktempestbradford]

I have been on a Willy Wonkified journey today and I need y'all to come with me

It started so innocently. Scrolling Google News I come across this article on Ars Technica:

At first glance I thought what happened was parents saw AI-generated images of an event their kids were at and became concerned, then realized it was fake. The reality? Oh so much better.

On Saturday, event organizers shut down a Glasgow-based "Willy's Chocolate Experience" after customers complained that the unofficial Wonka-inspired event, which took place in a sparsely decorated venue, did not match the lush AI-generated images listed on its official website.... According to Sky News, police were called to the event, and "advice was given."

Thing is, the people who paid to go were obviously not expecting exactly this:

But I can see how they'd be a bit pissed upon arriving to this:

It gets worse.

"Tempest, how could it possibly--"

source of this video that also includes this charming description:

Made up a villain called The Unknown — 'an evil chocolate maker who lives in the walls'

There is already a meme.

Oh yes, the Wish.com Oompa Loompa:

Who has already done an interview!

As bad (and hilarious) as this all is, I got curious about the company that put on this event. Did they somehow overreach? Did the actors they hired back out at the last minute? (Or after they saw the script...) Oddly enough, it doesn't seem so!

Given what I found when poking around I'm legit surprised there was an event at all. Cuz this outfit seems to be 100% a scam.

The website for this specific event is here and it has many AI generated images on it, as stated. I don't think anyone who bought tickets looked very closely at these images, otherwise they might have been concerned about how much Catgacating their children would be exposed to.

Yes, Catgacating. You know, CATgacating!

I personally don't think anyone should serve exarserdray flavored lollipops in public spaces given how many people are allergic to it. And the sweet teats might not have been age appropriate.

Though the Twilight Tunnel looks pretty cool:

I'm not sure that Dim Tight Twdrding is safe. I've also been warned that Vivue Sounds are in that weird frequency range that makes you poop your pants upon hearing them.

Yes, Virginia, these folks used an AI image generator for everything on the website and used Chat GPT for some of the text! From the FAQ:

Q: I cannot go on the available days. Will you have more dates in the future? A: Should there be capacity when you arrive, then you will be able to enter without any problems. In the event that this is not the case, we may ask you to wait a bit.

Fear not, for this question is asked again a few lines down and the answer makes more sense.

Curious about the events company behind this disaster, I took myself over to the homepage of House of Illuminati and I was not disappointed.

I would 100% trust these people to plan my wedding.

This abomination of a website is a badly edited WordPress blog filled with AI art and just enough blog posts to make the casual viewer think that it's a legit business for about 0.0004 seconds.

Their attention to detail is stunning, from how they left up the default first post every WP blog gets to how they didn't bother changing the name on several images, thus revealing where they came from. Like this one:

With the lovely and compact filename "DALL·E-2024-01-30-09.50.54-Imagine-a-scene-where-fantasy-and-reality-merge-seamlessly.-In-the-foreground-a-grand-interactive-gala-is-taking-place-filled-with-elegant-guests-i.png"

"Concept.png" came from the same AI generator that gets text almost, but not quiiiiiite right:

There are a suspicious number of .webp images in the uploads, which makes me think they either stole them from other sites where AI "art" was uploaded or they didn't want to pay for the hi-res versions of some and just grabbed the preview image.

The real fun came when I noticed this filename: Before-and-After-Eventologists-Transformation-Edgbaston-Cricket-Ground-1024x1024-1.jpg and decided to do a Google image search. Friends, you will be shocked to hear that the image in question, found on this post touting how they can transform a boring warehouse into a fun event space, was stolen from this actual event planner.

Even better, this weirdly grainy image?

From a post that claims to be about the preparations for a "Willy Wonka" experience (we'll get to this in a minute), is not only NOT an actual image of anyone preparing anything for Illuminati's event, it is stolen from a YouTube thumbnail that's been chopped to remove the name of the company that actually made this. Here's the video.

If you actually read the blog posts they're all copypasta or some AI generated crap. To the point where this seems like not a real business at all. There's very specific business information at the bottom, but nothing else seems real.

As I said, I'm kinda surprised they put on an event at all. This has, "And then they ran off with all our money!" written all over it. I'm perplexed.

And also wondering when the copyright lawyers are gonna start calling, because...

This post explicitly says they're putting together a "Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory Experience" complete with golden tickets.

Somewhere along the line someone must have wised up, because the actual event was called "Willys Chocolate Experience" (note the lack of apostrophe) and the script they handed to the actors about 10 minutes before they were supposed to "perform" was about a "Willy McDuff" and his chocolate factory.

As I was going through this madness with friends in a chat, one pointed out that it took very little prompting to get the free Chat GPT to spit out an event description and such very similar to all this while avoiding copyrighted phrases. But he couldn't figure out where the McDuff came from since it wasn't the type of thing GPT would usually spit out...

Until he altered the prompt to include it would be happening in Glasgow, Scotland.

You cannot make this stuff up.

But truly, honestly, I do not even understand why they didn't take the money and run. Clearly this was all set up to be a scam. A lazy, AI generated scam.

Everything from the website to the event images to the copy to the "script" to the names of things was either stolen or AI generated (aka stolen). Hell, I'd be looking for some poor Japanese visitor wandering the streets of Glasgow, confused, after being jacked for his mascot costume.

HE LIVES IN THE WALLS, Y'ALL.

[arolesbianism]

I find it so funny just how long I'd have to talk to get to a single non original character in the random card au if I explained the worldbuilding in chronological order. I'm pretty sure the first recognizable characters would be og Tae and Rei and even then there's a pretty big span of time where they could have possibly existed so I could theoretically go through a Lot before getting to them even without all of the finer details of kingdom worldbuilding

[vehksfingerguns]

The problem with projecting real world politics and systems of oppression onto video game settings, particularly in fantasy settings, is that their world settings and our world settings are not a 1:1. You can certainly draw parallels to the real world, and some are more obvious than others, but literally nothing in TES is a 1:1 allegory. Even the Thalmor, with all their Nazism hallmarks that you mention, are far more similar to Inquisitorial Europe in the medieval period than they are to Nazis. To label them Nazis is an oversimplification. Ulfric is a prime example of how this can be an issue. You say that Skyrim was grounded in the politics of 2012, but it wasn't. At all. The game came out in 2011, and was in active development from 2007-2011. This was far before MAGA was even a thing, before Trump was ever president, before any of us even considered that he could one day possibly BE president. So the idea of painting the Stormcloaks with the brush of MAGAism is flawed from the beginning because that movement simply didn't exist at the time this game was being developed. Hell, the Tea Party, which didn't really develop until 2008/2009 in opposition to Obama barely existed. I'm not saying that race relations were good in the U.S. then, but Ulfric and the Stormcloaks are in no way based on what we've seen slither out from under their rocks in the U.S. in the last 10 years. He predates that.

Not to mention, Ulfric isn't even the one who put the Dunmer into the Gray Quarter, which a lot of people forget. Those elves have been living in the Gray Quarter since the Red Mountain exploded, 150+ years before Ulfric was even born, let alone became Jarl of Windhelm. There are Dunmer who own farmland, there are elves who run the stables, there are Elven shop keeps like Nurelion, Niranye, and Avel. I'm not saying Ulfric doesn't have his prejudices, though he never really articulates anything particularly racist himself. It's all just finger pointing from other people, but that finger pointing doesn't always match what the game and in game history tells us. This is the kind of nuance that gets missed when we just simplify to hurr hurr Nords = MAGA. The other problem is that in our own world, white, cis, anglo-European men are the politically dominant force throughout much of the world, and certainly the western world. And it has been that way for thousands of years. But in Tamriel, that is not the case at all. While you can say the Empire has largely been ruled by people fitting the Elder Scrolls version of white/cis/normative and popular religious practices, the Empire has not always existed. It fractures, its reborn, it doesn't and has never included all of the provinces of Tamriel. Some emperors have been women, some have been mer. It simply isn't the same WASP dominated universe that we live in, and so projecting those same systems onto the setting can bring about disingenuous conclusions. Our default is to look at white people as oppressors because in our world, they are. But in fantasy worlds, where power systems and dynamics are different, we have to be careful painting with the same brushes we use for our world, lest we stop discussing the reality of the fantasy world and start trying to project our real world into it, which can cause us to establish narratives that don't actually exist.

Stormcloaks as the ultimate racist villains (which I know you didn't say, but others have) is a classic example of this. Because the game came out in 2011, and because we have played the game alongside a rise in WASP violence targeted toward POC and minorities in the U.S., where Skyrim is most popular, we have sort of grafted this personality onto Ulfric and the Stormcloaks because white nationalism has surged the world over, but particularly in the U.S. But again, Ulfric as a character predates this resurgence of white nationalism. Further, white humans are not even the dominant political race in Tamriel. They are in Skyrim, just as the Altmer are the dominant political race in Summerset and the Dunmer are the dominant political race of Morrowind. But the Nords are truly no more racist or ethnocentric than the Dunmer, who treat you notably more poorly as an outlander, even when you're a Dunmer yourself (and I say this as someone who primarily plays Dunmer). I know the classic argument is how can the Stormcloaks be racist when everyone in Tamriel is racist, and while I disagree that everyone in Tamriel is racist, I do think we single out the Stormcloaks BECAUSE of our real world biases, which, while valid in the real world (I too largely do not trust cis white men, especially in positions of power), are not *necessarily* valid in the fantasy setting.

This isn't to say you can't interpret the games as politically relevant to our world, because there are certain ways that they are. But reading ideology into the text that isn't actually supported by the nature and history of the world you're trying to project onto doesn't make your reads more valid. It's just trying to shoehorn systems that we experience in our own world into every setting we come across, and IMO, that does a massive disservice to the creators of these worlds.

I hate hate hate people inserting real life politics into fantasy. And I don't mean writers drawing inspiration from real life, I mean toxic fan bases that project modern, real-life politics into fantasy that's completely unrelated. I see it happen in the Elder Scrolls a lot.

The Thalmor are eugenic, genocidal, political extremists IN TAMRIEL, they are not Nazis. The Stormcloaks are counter-political extremist rebels IN TAMRIEL, they are not MAGA republicans, Ulfric is not Trump omg. Please stop conflating fantasy characters with real life politics. We all have enough political garbage shoved in our faces on the daily as it is, let fantasy BE FANTASY. It's meant to be escapism from reality, not a constant reminder of it.

And on that same note, liking "problematic" characters/groups in fiction doesn't actually reflect someone's irl beliefs or opinions, BECAUSE ITS NOT REAL.

[mayasaura]

Was thinking about this line because Harrow what the actual fuck are you talking about, and I realised something.

Not only does Harrow really for real not know that Gideon loves her—in the bullshit context of their lives, this is a reasonable misunderstanding for her to have.

What has Harrow known Gideon's life goals to be since they were children? Hint: There are at least two Harrow is fully aware of.

The first is to be wanted. As much as Gideon hates and wants to escape the Ninth, she also paradoxically craves their acceptance. They're the only community she's ever known. Harrow plays on that desire from the very beginning, mostly by kind of .... well, okay, by negging her about it. Ironically appealing to her sense of loyalty and duty to her house when they both know Gideon never even had that bridge to burn. That kind of thing.

Whether or not she's right, Harrow sincerely believes that acceptance to still be important to Gideon. First flower of my house, the greatest cavalier we have ever produced. You are our triumph. The best of all of us. When Harrow has only seconds left to make amends, she not only banks hard into praising Gideon, she frames it to unambiguously offer Gideon the acceptance she's always been conspicuously denied. Assuring her of her value not just as a person or as a cavalier, but as one of their house, one of their people.

The second thing Harrow knows is that Gideon wants to join the Cohort. Easy, everybody knows that. She's only been telling everyone with ears (and then some) since she was eight years old. It's the bait Harrow dangled to entice her into this mess. She wants to be a hero, to do great deeds like in the comic books. She wants to be a soldier.

Against the backdrop of all that context, Gideon's dying declaration "for the Ninth" starts to sound a hell of a lot more like "for Queen and country." Especially when you remember that Harrow is still the sovereign ruler of the Ninth. From Harrow's vantage point, Gideon could easily be playing the heroic underdog in a war movie. The soldier no one believed in until she threw herself on a grenade to save her squad. The knight errant who proved her chivalry by giving her life in service to her king.

From that perspective, Harrow's line to Ortus makes sense. She's following through on her promise of acceptance, defending Gideon's loyalty to the first Ninth face she sees. She's playing out Gideon's war hero fantasy, where Gideon's act of heroism proved them all wrong about her. In which case Ortus's response, "You are the most worthy heroes the Ninth House could muster. I truly believe that," flows very naturally as a reply. He understands what Harrow is trying to say, and affirms it.

It's not a hero's burial in the Anastasian, but it's the closest thing Harrow has the power to give her. And it's a fucking reasonable interpretation of Gideon's actions that doesn't touch on her feelings for Harrow at all. Fuck me.

[sunderwight]

PIDW but it's a game.

You play as Luo Binghe, the lowliest disciple of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect's Qing Jing Peak. The first part of the game proceeds more or less like a semi-normal fantasy dating sim -- Luo Binghe is bullied and downtrodden, but can seek help and opportunities to build relationships with various female characters, like Ning Yingying and Liu Mingyan. The game's interface implies a truly staggering number of potential romance candidates to unlock, however, so it makes sense that the first part in your disciple years doesn't get you very far in any of the routes.

But then for the second part, things start to shift. You get an option that seems to amount to asking whether you want to make things better for Luo Binghe or not. When you click the obvious choice, that you do, your previously cold and ruthless shizun seems to go through an inexplicable change of heart. You get a weird kind of fanservice-y scene featuring him during the Skinner Demon Mission. Then he features extremely heavily in the Demon Invasion Mission, only to turn up as your companion in the Dream Demon Mission.

After that, it seems like you've gotten onto his route, somehow? Why does the scummy male teacher even have a route in a game like this, though? You try to check for player guides but you can't seem to find any. You try reloading older saves and making other selections, but no matter what you choose, you end up finishing the Dream Demon Mission by moving into Shen Qingqiu's house, and the routes for Liu Mingyan and Ning Yingying and the briefly-encountered Sha Hualing are all greyed out.

But maybe that just means they're inaccessible for advancement for now, or something. And a lot of games have plot points that are on rails, and you can see where Luo Binghe actually getting a place to live would be one of those things. The format of the game changes as well, going from a relatively loose sequence of scenes and interactions to a daily management style, where you have tasks to complete (make shizun breakfast, go to morning lessons, cultivate, do chores, etc) and only a set number of hours in which to complete them. You have affection points, but any time you try to spend them on anyone other than Shen Qingqiu you get an error message. There are dialogue options for flirting with other characters, but they're always greyed out and impossible to select.

Still, you can unlock scenes. A lot of them are just long slow shots of Shen Qingqiu doing things, like reading, or lecturing, or eating. You get missions, and sometimes you meet female characters who seem to unlock new possible romance paths, even though they're still constantly greyed out. Maybe this part of the game's just especially on rails? Waiting for the actual harem-building segment? You kind of like a lot of aspects of it anyway, though. Luo Binghe is an especially compelling character, not at all like the usual sort of non-entity placeholder main guys in games like this. He definitely has personality.

But then you get to the third part. The Abyss. Shen Qingqiu pushes Luo Binghe in, and suddenly you're wondering if you've somehow reached a bad end. You were saving up some of those affection points for later, maybe you should have spent them all on him? Was there something you did wrong to make this happen? You're not even sure why he's thrown poor Binghe away, he was cold and cryptic about it, and now you're wondering if all the time you spent distracted by other things was time you should have spent farming a better relationship with him. You can't help but wonder where you went astray, because Luo Binghe will not stop wondering about it, and wondering about it in ways that make you feel oddly like he is accusing you, the player, of making the wrong choices... but in a way that could still plausibly be aimed at himself, as a character. You feel bad. You kind of want to restart, but you also can't bring yourself to abandon Luo Binghe. You have to see this through, to help him make it to the other side.

Regardless, the Endless Abyss seems like it must be an inevitable plot development. A lot of the game shifts to account for it. There's even an option to essentially select this "thought" from Luo Binghe's internal diatribe, that this is inevitable, and it seems to turn off the litany of recriminations for a while, although sometimes it also results in Luo Binghe... glaring at the screen?

At you?

Anyway the daily management system goes out of the window, and instead there's an energy bar now. Encounters with monsters or the occasional demon woman will lower the energy bar, how much depends on what you choose and how the encounters proceed. Sometimes there are romantic/sexy responses for interacting with the demon women you meet, and they aren't greyed out, but if you try and select them the cursor will jump to another option. You think there might be something wrong with your mouse? Sometimes you get Luo Binghe glaring at the screen scenes afterwards. When Binghe's energy bar hits zero, you're offered two choices -- "sleep" or "think of shizun". Sometimes even if you pick "sleep" the cursor will still jump to "think of shizun", and you'll be treated to another one of those slow lingering scenes of Shen Qingqiu. Except they are becoming increasingly strange, obviously warped by the exhaustion and trauma of the situation, so that aspects are eerie or even disturbing. For example, sometimes Shen Qingqiu seems to be missing limbs, or eyes. Sometimes there's blood on his hands. Sometimes the food he's eating is rotted, or the bamboo house background looks like the Qing Jing Peak wood shed. That kind of thing. You don't mind the idea of harm coming to the man. He deserves it, really, for pushing Luo Binghe into the Abyss. But the few times you try and select options along those lines, the UI glitches again.

Also the "think of shizun" option only restores a quarter of the energy bar, whereas resting restores all of it. But if you try to go for too long without doing it, it will lock you into choosing it successively for a long time.

In addition to the energy bar, there's a calendar. It's not all that sophisticated or even consistent, and it's clearly meant to reflect the fact that Luo Binghe has troubles accurately judging the passage of time in the Abyss. However, the longer you spend in the Abyss, the more violent and unhinged things start to become, and the more the UI starts glitching to reveal disturbing messages, and the more often Luo Binghe "glaring" scenes happen. So you decide to do your best to get Binghe out of here as quickly as possible. This part of the game must be broken, but hopefully if you can make to the next segment, it will work properly again.

Eventually you get to the Xin Mo Mission, which is the last part of the Abyss section, and Luo Binghe escapes.

But the weirdness continues. Worsens, even. You still get missions to like, take over the demon realms and infiltrate Huan Hua Palace, all cool stuff, and you still meet girls who seem to unlock possibly romance paths. But most of the time everything is greyed out. There will be 5 dialogue options but maybe only 1 or 2 of them will be selectable. Parts of the menu are inaccessible. You don't have an energy bar anymore, you have a Xin Mo corruption bar, and it just keeps steadily rising. Sometimes you're presented the option of propositioning a character to "mitigate corruption", but if you try and click it the game glitches or the cursor freaks out and it fails. Sometimes the game crashes outright, and when you reload your last save, it starts with Luo Binghe glaring at you through the screen. You still get the "rest" and "think of shizun" options at times, but neither one helps the corruption bar.

Then. Jinlan City. You reunite with Shen Qingqiu. There seem to be a lot of options for acting vengefully towards him, but they're all greyed out, except for a few which let you chase him down or manhandle him a bit. The whole segment is frustrating, full of weird fanservice-y moments but also mired in how little Shen Qingqiu will say, how often he insists on evading or running away, and how Luo Binghe doesn't seem to have the right prompts to actually get him to explain himself. At times it seems like the "think of shizun" mechanic is bleeding over into the real interactions with the character, so that you can't tell what's really going on vs what are the manifestation of Luo Binghe's trauma or even hallucinations. The Xin Mo bar has maxed out. You have to catch Shen Qinqiu. Catch Shen Qingqiu. Catch Shen Qingqiu--

Then suddenly the bar is at 0, and you're watching Shen Qingqiu's lifeless body fall towards the ground, his energy expended in the effort to push back the corruption. Like, all of his energy.

You catch Shen Qingqiu. Or at least, you stop his corpse from hitting the dirt.

Now the game art is crisp and clean again. All the weird UI artifacts and blocked-off menus are either gone altogether or else working properly. The sound, which had been very gradually deteriorating with low-pitched ringing and muffled portions, is normal. You can hear characters gasping and distantly shouting, and birds chirping somewhere, the ragged cadence of Luo Binghe's breaths, while the camera focuses on Shen Qingqiu's body.

Huh, you think. That's a sort of dramatic resolution to that plot arc, and it raised more questions about Shen Qingqiu than it answered, really. But at least it's over with now? Does this mean Luo Binghe can finally start to recover, or advance other plots?

Then everything blacks out. You get booted to the main menu, or something that looks like it, except the only option you can select now is the New Game+ one.

When you click it, it seems like you've started the whole game over again. Except that there is a Xin Mo corruption bar, greyed out, already waiting for in a corner of the screen. And instead of starting out with a view of Qing Jing Peak, you start out with the young Luo Binghe looking directly towards you. Like he's staring through the screen. It's the basic starting point character, except he already has his demon mark on his forehead, and his expression is way more cold and calculating than anything the junior protagonist would have worn.

"Don't get in my way," he warns.

Then the game proceeds like a visual novel with extremely limited choices. The old selections and the menu for various romance routes don't even appear, the menus have all changed again, this time oriented entirely around hiding Luo Binghe's demonic cultivation (while building it) and managing daily choices and Shen Qingqiu's relationship status. A romance game with only one romance route, and it's the treacherous crusty old teacher? Wtf? But otherwise it seems almost normal, except for the special faint-lettered red options that sometimes appear in weird places on the screen, suggesting things like preventing the Skinner demon from catching you unawares, or saving Shen Qingqiu from Without a Cure poisoning, or keeping out of the Endless Abyss.

Those options seem like they should create different outcomes, and you click them whenever they show up, but they consistently fail. As if there's some other force in the game pushing things back onto the rails no matter what you do...

Anyway, eventually you get through the main plot again, and Shen Qingqiu dies once more. This time the game keeps going from that point, however, with quests to try and find ways to resurrect him. You're starting to wonder why you're still playing -- after all, you signed up for a harem game, not this tragic gay love story? You're not even gay! It's just that Luo Binghe is such a compelling character. You decide it's time to take a break, though, so you get up, do some stretches, go to the bathroom, etc.

It feels like someone's watching you.

You've definitely been playing that game for too long. Sometimes you think you catch sight of Luo Binghe's face out of the corner of your eye, in the bathroom mirror or on the black surface of your phone's screen, just before you turn it on. But when you look twice or turn your phone off again, nothing's there. You call your little sister, to apologize for dropping off the face of the earth for a bit, and you joke about getting too invested in this weird game that might be broken? She hasn't heard of it, but she sounds a little worried as she suggests maybe coming over and taking you out to lunch, or something.

You decline -- she's got a lot on her plate, and she mentioned already having plans earlier -- but then you promise to get some fresh air anyway. But when you go to head out, somehow you find yourself turning away at the last minute. You try again, and yet it's like you just keep getting distracted before you can open the door. After a few tries you give up, swallowing down your growing unease. You take off your shoes and coat. When it comes to it, you really do want to find out what happens to Luo Binghe next.

The game is running.

You don't remember turning it back on...?

The screen is focused on the familiar image of Shen Qingqiu's preserved corpse. You can see Luo Binghe's hand in the frame as well, transferring qi in yet another familiar sequence, the one that seems to run at the end of every in-game day. There's some text.

Is it you? the red letters ask, scrawling and flickering, as if someone is attempting to write directly onto the screen. Are you the one behind all this? Thwarting me at every turn?

Yes/No options appear in the game's usual font and position. You try to click "no", even though you're unsure and feel like you must have missed a scene somehow. But the interface warps and when you hit "no" it changes to Stay Silent.

I can't figure out. Are you here to help me, or get in my way?

Help/Harm. You click "help" but again it changes to "stay silent" afterwards.

What do you want from me?

This time there's no option to select at first. Then, as if being shoved onto the screen by some alternative function, a text box opens up. Like the kind that some games have for implementing cheats or selecting character names. This particular game has never shown such a function before, Luo Binghe's name was locked in and you don't even know if it has cheats. The cursor blinks, and somehow it feels as if you have only one chance, and if you don't take it now, it will be gone forever.

You type in "help" and barely manage to hit enter before the interface blinks out. No list of prompts or possible options appear.

Shizun? the red text scrawls, shakily.

Then the whole game crashes.

You wait, but it doesn't start up again. You try to run it again, but you can't find it on your system, somehow. Really weird. Even if it had crashed, it shouldn't have gotten deleted? But you still can't find it. You start to feel genuinely alarmed. Not only can you not find the game on your system, but when you try and search for it absolutely nothing comes up. You try and go to the online shop page for it, but you can't remember where you actually got it from in the first place, now that you're thinking about it.

What bullshit is this?

What, was the game actually some kind of virus? It couldn't have been. Also who would make a virus like that? You get up and pace, trying to make sense of it.

It's gotta be some kind of mistake. Maybe you've just missed too much sleep, you're not thinking right. You'll take a break and when you come back you'll realize that you were just looking in all the wrong places, somehow.

You head over to the fridge to grab something to eat.

You can't remember the last time you went shopping, but the food in there is probably still fine. Right?

[reidmotif]

For the Love of Lace

Summary: Reader decides she doesn't want to pine for her best friend, Spencer, anymore, but still needs his help deciding what lingerie to wear for her upcoming date.

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader

Category: Smut

Content Warning: breast and nipple play, fingering (r!receiving), lingerie talk, unprotected penetrative sex, no implied breast size, couch sex, best friends to lovers, possessive Spencer

Word Count: 3.7k

Masterlist

Pining for your best friend definitely has its lows. There’s a certain sense of pathetic-ness that comes about when your friend is simply speaking, and your mind is occupied with the yearning to bridge the gap of distance between you two, and kiss them senseless. I think perhaps the biggest low that I’d hit, however, in the two years I’d been pining for Spencer Reid was the sexual frustration that came with being unable to see myself with anyone else. 

I’d never meant for it to play out like this. I thought it was an innocent crush, a byproduct of all the time we’d managed to spend with each other divulging into our personal lives and sharing the ordinary comings of the day together. However, there came a point where I looked at him and could see my future laid out so perfectly with him. A future of love, and laughter, and God, so much sex.  And no matter what I’d tried, the thought was too good to let go. 

It didn’t help that not only was he oblivious, he clearly didn’t return my affections. There were no signs of longing that I could deduce from his actions, and I’d decided to be reasonable about this. His actions were always remnant of a good friend, but a lover? No. There were no longing stares. No stolen brushes of fingers, or hushed whispers. It seemed that anything romantic about our relationship only emanated from my fantasies of what I wish we could be. 

And so here I was, unable to get past the mental block of wanting anyone as much, and it’d resulting in a long, exasperating two-year stint of celibacy. And Jesus, did it show. The tiniest thing Spencer did would set me off in a frenzy, and it left me feeling nearly perverted at a certain point. There’d been a day that he ran his finger down a page, attempting to locate a passage to display to me and all I could think about was how badly I wanted that finger in me. My mouth. Me. Anything. And then I realized I was lusting over my best friend’s hand, and considered the possibility of this being a serious problem on my end. 

My only block to getting laid was my own self.  And I certainly didn’t relish in the debauchery I’d clearly stooped low enough to indulge in, and so it was decided. This Valentine’s Day? I wasn’t going to watch rom-coms and wonder if Spencer and I could ever have a happy ending like them.

 I was going to man up, and go on a date. Easier said than done. 

I’d found the date, that bit was easy enough. Trying to find someone to hook-up with on Valentine’s Day is like trying to find sand on a beach. Plentiful and simple. 

What wasn’t easy? Feeling ready for it. I hadn’t been like that with anyone for nearly two years, and found myself worrying that my sexual skills had deteriorated with lack of practice, even though the thought was rooted in some ridiculous notions about myself. I knew that logically the sex would be fine, and hopefully, exactly what I needed to get over Spencer, but still. I wanted to ensure the best possible experience. 

I found myself going through the motions of date preparation. A manicure and pedicure. A facial. I even bought a fancier perfume to wear the night of. And of course, a trip to procure some new lingerie for the night. 

I’d always been indecisive, and with the choices presented in the shop, I found myself overwhelmed. I’d decided and picked up 3 possible pieces, and instead of determining between them whilst buying, I bought all of them, with the intention that I’d be able to make a choice in the comfort of my own home. 

Except now, it’d been a week, my date was tomorrow, and I still couldn’t figure out what would work for me. All three were equally as appealing, but which one was the best? The question haunted me, and continued to  haunt me as Spencer and I hung out. Despite my date tomorrow, I’d promised to keep up our tradition of binging episodes of Star Trek on Friday night together, except my head was clearly elsewhere, which he quickly noticed. 

Damn profiler best friend. 

“Alright, what’s up with you?” Spencer asks, reaching for the remote and pausing on some random frame of Spock’s face, the show taking less precedence than my lack of attention. 

I sigh apologetically, quirking my mouth to the side. “I’m sorry, Spence.” I say, taking a deep breath. “Just a lot on my mind.” 

Spencer tilts his head, his expression a little more worried. “Something important?” 

I shake my head quickly, not wanting to disclose the reasoning for my distraction tonight. Especially to him, considering my date tonight had the sole purpose of me getting over the man currently sat to my right. 

“No, no.” I say, softly. “Just.. stuff.” I voiced, quickly.

“Stuff?” Spencer inquires. 

“Stuff.” I affirm. 

Now it’s his turn to sigh, making a slight groaning noise whilst he did so. “Come on. I’ve known you for years. I know there’s something on your mind, and it’s clearly distracting you, so.. Please? Tell me?” He asks, giving me those eyes. A look that would make anyone weak in the knees. 

I find myself hesitating, and bite my lip, and in the end, it’s the way he’s looking at me that does me in. I opt to stay vague, but give him a bit more insight into my wandering thoughts. 

“My date tomorrow? I don’t know what to wear.” I say, shrugging. “It’s not very important, but I want to make it work, you know?” I continue. 

“Why don’t you just show me your dress then?” Spencer inquires. “I’m not a fashion expert, but it’s not like I’m unable to have taste.” 

I laugh a little self consciously, shaking my head quickly. “Oh no, no. It’s not a dress. It’s okay, Spencer. I couldn’t ask you to do that for me.” 

“Shoes? C’mon! I’m your best friend. I’d do anything for you.” He protests, coming closer to me now. 

“Not shoes.” I say, still shaking my head. “And no! I mean, seriously. There are some things you can’t do for me, and it’s fine. I’m fine.” 

“Jewelry? Hair? Makeup?” He implores continuously. “I’m all ears.” 

I realize there’s no way in hell he’s ever going to let this go, so I blurt out with little thought, “It’s lingerie!” 

He goes a bit quiet in thought, and then raises an eyebrow. “And that poses a problem?” He asks, softly. 

I blink a little. Yes. Of course that’s  a problem. I love you so much that it makes me feel weak, and I can’t be even more vulnerable in front of you. Not like that. 

But instead I shrug, running my hands through my hair. 

“I just.. Wouldn’t that be weird?” I say, hesitantly. 

“Not really.” Spencer replies, nonchalantly. “You’re my best friend. And I want to help you in any way I can. Nakedness doesn’t really bother me, and if it doesn’t bother you, I’d love to help you decide.” 

“Spencer..” I mumbled, still incredibly hesitant. 

“I’m your best friend!” Spencer articulates. “And logically, I can provide you with insight that only another guy could give.” He points out. “In a purely platonic, and logical sense.” 

I had to give him credit for that. It’s true. Spencer did have insight that none of my friends could provide, and I’d always entrusted him in helping me make decisions for myself and my life. And honestly, it was starting to get suspicious with how much I’d been objecting to this. The man had helped me decide bikinis, clubbing dresses- this couldn’t be any more different, could it? 

“Okay. Okay. Fine.” I give him a resigned nod, getting off the couch. “Alright. Wait here.”

He plants himself more firmly on the couch, his eyes trained on where I’d disappeared into my room, rummaging through the shopping bag until I’d found the first lingerie piece. 

It was a simple black lace bra and matching panties. The bottoms were a bit cheekier than a normal pair of underwear, and my legs were on display in full. My hair framed my pushed-up breasts, and I looked at myself in the mirror, slightly self-conscious at the fact that I was about to present myself this way to Spencer. 

How did I get into this mess? 

I slowly twist the doorknob, calling out to him. “Spencer! I’m coming out with the first one.” 

“I’m here.” is his reply, and I know he’s waiting, and so I slowly push open the door and come out in the light, a little more in his view. I give a half-hearted 360 degree turn, and look at him. 

“So?” I ask, my eyes finally meeting his, but the sight I’m met with is a lot different than the one I’m expecting. He’s slightly red in the face, his hands fidgeting in his lap- quite different from the more composed version I’d seen of him. 

“Is there something wrong?” I ask, quickly, feeling even more vulnerable as I stood there, half naked in front of a blushing man. 

“No, no!” He sputters. “I’m sorry. This is normal.” He gulps a bit and gives me a quick once over. “Sorry, I’ll be normal.” He clears his throat again and nods more definitively. “This one is nice. It’s simple.” He replies, as diplomatically as I’ve heard him. “Black works well with your skin and hair, and I feel like it brings out your eyes.” 

I nod, biting my lip. “Anything I could do to make it.. more than nice?” I queried. 

He narrows his eyes in thought.  “It’s already really, really nice, but I feel like stockings, or even a garter would even the attention from your breasts, more to your legs- which already look really nice, by the way.” 

It's my turn to blush and I nod quickly. “Stockings, got it.” I say. I blow out a breath of air. “One down, two to go.” I say, absentmindedly. 

“Better go back and try the other two, then.” Spencer says, with a smile. 

I attempt to return his smile and disappear back into my room, putting on the next piece. It was red, and a bit more showy than my previous piece. It was a criss-cross, cut-out lingerie. Lines of maroon fabric danced around my skin in a way that exposed the curve of my breasts, and connected to a simple, red thong. I walked out quicker than last time, a little less nervous now that the initial nervousness of appearing naked in front of him had faded. 

Despite my nervousness fading, it seemed like his had only increased. I’d only caught a glimpse of it in my hurried departure from my room to his line of sight, but had he.. been adjusting his crotch area?

 No. No. I mean, maybe he was turned on, but that was a completely normal reaction to a half-naked girl in front of a man. To my knowledge, Spencer hadn’t dated anyone in 2 years either, so it was completely possible he also had pent-up desires. This was normal. Spencer Reid did not feel the same way for me, not in the same way as I did for him. 

He quickly looks up and his hands are by his side in record speed. “This one is.. Wow.” He marvels, his eyes boring into my body. “Your breasts. They look great.” 

I can’t help the giggle that escapes me, a part of me secretly delighted that even if this was friendly, Spencer was enamored with my body in the way I’d always wished he would be. 

“Was that too much?” Spencer questions, upon hearing my laugh. “I’m only being honest. Your breasts look nice in this one. My eyes immediately went there with this piece.” 

I smile. “No, no. That’s what I need from you, anyway. That’s what I want my date to do too, anyway.” I say, dismissing his worries. 

“Right. Your date.” He says, curtly. 

I raise an eyebrow at the snippy reply, but don’t think much of it. “So.. the last one then?” 

“Yep. The last one.” 

“Right..” I mumble, going back to my room, slightly confused by the sudden change in demeanor, but ready to get this over with nonetheless. 

The last piece was a lot more revealing, in the sense that my nipples were exposed from the get-go with this one. A lavender slip, with transparent lace covering the breasts, and the silky fabric stopping right below my crotch. It was a bit more daring, but I still enjoyed the way it framed my curves, my hips, and my breasts. I wondered what Spencer would think, and out of modesty, I placed both my hands over my nipples, wanting to show the lingerie without fully exposing myself to him. 

I walk out, and this time, his gaze is intense. More so than I’d ever seen him in our years of friendship. 

“Spence..?” I ask, when he’s silent for a beat too long.

“Turn around.” He says, firmly, and I find myself listening instantly, baring my back to him, and no doubt he’s focusing on the way the fabric wrapped around my ass, leaving me slightly flustered and more on display than I’d ever felt tonight. 

“Spencer? Come on. Say something. Feeling a bit like cattle right now.” I voice, laughing a little nervously.

When I hear his voice again, I nearly jump out of my skin because he’s right behind me, his hands ghosting across my bare shoulders. 

“Don’t go.” He whispers, his hot breath fanning around my neck, sending shivers up my spine. 

I’m too nervous to turn around, so I keep my hands planted firmly on my breasts and murmur out my confusion. 

“What?” 

“Don’t go.” He repeats, more firmly this time, and I can feel his hand moving to grip my hip, orienting me to face him. “Please.” 

“Why not?” I ask, softly, my eyes wide as I try to read his expression. His pupils were dilated to the size of saucers, and I could feel his hands moving to cup my face, bringing us even closer. 

“I’d be an idiot to have not at least tried.” He whispers. “I’m sorry for doing this now. I’m sorry if this ruins everything. But I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t try.” 

I feel my confusion bubbling up, my eyebrows furrowing a little bit. “Why.. what is this? Is this because of the lingerie?” I ask, my lips parting slightly. 

“No. God no.” I can see him emphatically shaking his head at my rumination. “This has been coming for a long time.” He murmurs. “I thought I could ignore it, but I can’t. I can’t physically stand the thought of someone worshiping you the way I’d like to.” He rasps out, and I feel my heart jump, my breath coming out faster. 

When I’m silent, unable to respond,  his fingers run across my lips. “Can I kiss you?” He whispers. 

I nod, and it’s like he’s been waiting all night, and then some. His grip on my face tightens and he brings me in for a searing, earth-shattering kiss. His lips move over mine desperately, and I feel his grip shifting to bring my hands off my breasts, and to replace them with his own, his hands now pawing and squeezing at the flesh, which draws a soft moan from me. 

He throws his head back at the noise, leaning to kiss my neck. “Fuck yes.” He mumbles, seemingly goaded on by the noises slipping through my lips. “I’ve wanted this for so long.” He groans out, to no one in particular, just wanting to get the words out there somehow. 

I nod rapidly, and his hands are on my hips again, guiding me to the couch and laying me down. I move easily in his grasp,  a slight gasp escaping me as he climbs on top. His thumb goes to graze my jaw, leaning in for another kiss. It’s less rushed this time, slow and passionate. His tongue darts out to swipe over my bottom lip, and I open my mouth easily for him, reveling in the sweetness of how he tasted. 

He breaks off the kiss and moves down, kissing my breast between the lace. His tongue goes out to wet the fabric, and I’m arching my back at the sensation of the rough lace and the warm wetness now rubbing against the sensitive skin.

“You taste so good.” He mumbles. “God. Why did I wait so long?” 

“No clue.” I whimper out, desperately. “But don’t stop.” 

“I’m not stopping.” He says, gruffly, moving to bunch up the fabric of the slip until it pooled around my waist, exposing my dripping cunt to him. 

“I can’t stand the thought of another man touching you like this.” He whispers, his finger running up and down my wet folds, causing me to moan out needily. 

“Shh, shh, baby.” He murmurs. “You’ll get what you want soon enough.” 

Without warning, he easily slides two fingers inside me, and I can’t help but wonder if he was made for me. Given the way he effortlessly reached that spongy spot so deep inside me, I was compelled to say yes. The action prompted me to release a string of desperate moans and whimpers, increasing in octave with every second he pumped the digits in and out of me. 

“Yeah, you like that?” He mumbles, almost entranced with the way my cunt was sucking him in, tightening around his finger with each second he continued. 

“Yes. Yes, oh God.” I moan out, my eyes squeezing shut. 

“Open your eyes.” he demands, his thumb now darting out to rub harsh, tight circles on my clit. “I want to see your face when you come on my fingers.” 

My eyes snap open, and I can’t help it when I release another moan and feel my orgasm absolutely shred through me. My hips raise in an attempt to move off Spencer’s fingers, but he manages to follow my movement, nursing me through my orgasm, and watching every second of it. 

When it's over, he removes his finger and brings it up to his lips, sensually tasting my release right in front of me, never breaking eye contact- and the sight itself makes me need him all over again. 

I pull him in by the collar of his shirt, and my hands move to remove his buttons, wanting to feel his skin on mine. He laughs a bit and admonishes me, removing my shaky fingers. 

“Let me.” He mumbles, leaning back between my spread legs, and removing the clothing, before moving to his belt. 

I bite my lip as he hovers over me, and kiss him again. I can’t get enough of him. He’s all I wanted for so long, and here he is- mirroring my desire in the way I’d always hoped he would. 

“No man-” He breathes out, in between kisses, “could do this for you.” 

I nod in affirmation, continuing to kiss him. No argument there. 

“No man deserves to.” He adds, possessively, and it’s enough to make me clench around nothing, and I know at that point I’m more desperate for him than I had been the whole night. 

“Spence, please.” I groan out. “Need you.” 

He understands immediately and wastes no time, pulling himself out from his boxers, giving himself a few tugs before pushing inside of me, groaning as he feels my warm, wet walls grasp onto his cock. 

He remains there for a second, allowing me to adjust to his size. When he looks at my face again, and I nod, he starts to move, pulling out until only his tip remains inside of me, before slamming in. My jaw drops in a silent scream, and my hands go to grip his shoulders, and with the confirmation I was enjoying myself, he set on a ruthless pace, snapping his hips over, and over again, until I was reduced to a babbling mess in front of the man. 

He’s all I can feel at this point. His hands on my breasts, my hips, before he eventually rests both hands on either side of me and envelops me in his being. I can smell him, and the familiar scent only serves to tighten the coil in my stomach, reminding me that this was someone I’d loved so deeply for so long. Someone who was interwoven into the fiber of my being, and I know this is all I want, and all I’ll ever want. 

As we both feel our releases coming on at an alarming pace, he leans up to kiss me one more time, moaning against my mouth. I feel myself whimper before I feel my walls contract around his cock, my orgasm causing my back to arch even closer to him. The clamping of my cunt seems to drive him to finish too, and a warmth fills my deepest point as he groans into my ear, pulling out and lying against me. The two of us are panting, sweat sticking to both of our bodies and hair, lost in the post-sex haze and enjoying the proximity. 

He kisses my jaw and I giggle out and give a soft moan. “God.” I whisper. 

“Yeah.” He murmurs against my skin, and I can feel his smile. “Are you canceling your date then?” He says, a slight bit of glee in his voice. 

I giggle a little, finding his delight adorable and endearing. “Yes, Spencer. Obviously.” I murmur. 

“Good.” He whispers, laying his head on my chest. There’s a lull of quiet as my hands stroke through his hair, smoothing it out from our illicit activities just a moment ago. I can hear his grin as he breaks the silence. 

“Guess you could say I liked this piece the best.” 

hiii!! omg. this took a while. yes this is more of a valentines day fic and its a bit late but hey!! got it out in february. this was actually written for @imagining-in-the-margins new beginnings challenge, so go ahead and check that out when you can. i hope you guys like this one. as usual, please reblog, like, comment, and show your support any way you can. thank you for reading, and i hope it was enjoyable <333 ty ty ty!!