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fili-urzudel · 11 months ago

Note

Hello!! Could you do 14, 15 and 31 with Fili? Romantic or platonic, up to you. Thank you 💜

13. Sitting together

14. Handholding

15. Sharing a blanket (potentially violent)

31. Stargazing

This combination is classic and oh-so-fluffy, and with my favorite Dwarf to boot! I went ahead and added another prompt as well.

Everyone lives AU, because there is no other ending in my mind.

BTW I'm sick :( but I'm going to try to get at least one other prompt request out this week

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1.8k

Moonrise - Fíli Durin x Reader

The Durin's Day festival was always fun, but it was all the more spectacular in the newly reclaimed Erebor.

"The first autumn equinox since the mountain was reclaimed, can you believe it?" Fíli said with a bright smile, looking with pride at the crisscrossing bridges and vaulted ceilings of the entrance to the mountain. There was still plenty of work to be done, to be sure, but its improvement was impressive regardless.

"And in a couple days, the anniversary of when it was reclaimed," you nodded in agreement. "A few months after that, the anniversary of the first time you walked around by yourself."

"Hush, I'm trying to enjoy this," Fíli gave you a fake scowl, unconsciously probing the scar hidden beneath his tunic.

You changed directions. "Of course, my Prince," you teased. "You look very nice today."

You meant it. His hair was freshly washed, the slightly damp strands frizzing out in the cool morning air. Each bead was carefully placed, a few decorative gold ones added in place of a crown. His tunic was a smooth yet understated silk underneath his leather vest and wool coat. Every detail was precisely placed, the burnt oranges and browns blending seamlessly. He had clearly been seen to with the utmost care. He looked like royalty, even without the royal garb. Most importantly, he was healthy.

His smile softened, his cheeks turning a bit pink under his mustache. "Thank you," he glanced to the ground before looking back up at you. "And you're beautiful as ever."

You blushed deeper than him, unused to compliments. You plucked at the placket of your own wool coat, dyed a deep woad blue. It was your favorite. "Thank you," you said, choosing for once to believe him. "What duties do you have today?"

"None, surprisingly," Fíli breathed. "Thorin's let me have a break, so I can enjoy the first festival in our new home right alongside you." Something about that little word, our, set your heart ablaze. "You want to stick with me?"

"If you'll have me," he smiled again. That smile was impossible to resist.

"Of course I will."

Erebor had been steadily growing over the past year, but that day, it seemed more alive than ever. The market squares were full, overflowing into the wide side streets. Jewelry, blades, shields, ceramics, sculptures--anything made out of earth or in forges were certainly found somewhere in the expansive space. The Ereborian dwarves' tentative friendship with the Men of Dale caused new, less traditional stands to pop up as well: flower stalls, street food vendors featuring fish dishes, and clothing and homeware shops full of bolts of linen. The mountain had only dwarves—and Bilbo—in its halls, a presently rare occurrence, and so you were all free to speak Khuzdul, the sharp sounds ringing pleasantly in your ears.

The two of you strolled as quickly as possible through all the markets had to offer, determined not to miss the afternoon's performances. You exercised exemplary self-restraint, only stopping at one of every five stalls that caught your eye.

"No," became a very popular word as well, what with resisting Fíli's unceasing offers to purchase anything you liked.

"Well, if you will not spend any of your share of the treasure, I must spend some of mine and relieve what must be the terrible, stifling boredom of your living quarters, my friend," he teased, mustache beads swinging from side to side.

"I will have no prince wasting his money on me."

"Oh, it's never a waste if it's you," Fíli told you surely.

There he went again, saying things that made your palms sweat and your cheeks flush. "You're too kind."

Fíli smirked at the way you diverted your gaze. "Well, if I cannot buy you a rug, at least allow me to buy you lunch," he gestured to a permanent restaurant on the corner that was swarmed with dwarrow.

You couldn't help a smile at that. "Hot stew?" You asked, referring to the almost overpoweringly spicy meat-and-potato stew that was a dwarven classic. Benron's was your favorite.

"As hot as you like, of course," He agreed, guiding you forward with a gentle hand on your back.

The stew made your eyes stream in the best way, and you pulled Fíli out of the restaurant scarcely once he was finished eating. "We have to find good seats!" You reasoned as he raised an eyebrow, still wiping his mouth.

"You do realize that Thorin has the best seats, and by extension, we do as well?"

"Right," you said. You had forgotten. Somehow, none of the Durins were royalty in your mind. They were still your traveling companions, dirt poor and looked at as crazy.

"Still, it is sort of nice to take a seat before everyone starts filtering in and it gets too loud," Fíli reassured you. "After you."

The grand presentation began with a song to the mountain. In the ancient tradition, singing was a way to ask the mountain to reveal its secrets, a careful gathering of tones that would uncover its nature.

This song, however, was made more to please the ears of the listener. It was a song of thanks, of hardly believing that this mountain was once again the shelter for her people. You tried your best to control the tears that rose to your eyes.

Fíli leaned over, bumping your shoulder with his. You gave a small smile that he returned, and you could see in his eyes that he was thinking of all that it took to get there.

"We did it," you whispered.

"Yeah, we did."

The opening songs were followed by traditional dances, a speed-forging competition, and a few spars. You cheered on the brothers as they fought each other, with a healthy dose of brotherly teasing. Fíli let his little brother win, or so he told you. The look on Kíli's face was more than worth it. You congratulated him and let them both clean up as you headed to the gates.

The gates were still open, cool air pouring into the mountain as the sun dropped in the sky.

Dale was dimmer than usual—the city was empty. The men were lining the edge of the water with candles. This equinox now also marked the anniversary of the fall of Laketown and many of their loved ones. The dwarves tried their best to be respectful of their vigil.

You leaned against the wall and watched. You hoped they found peace and remembered to enjoy their new lives. Bard, standing at the back of the group, turned around. He caught your eye and nodded.

"Come with me, I think we should see something," Fíli's low whisper startled you from your reverie, and his hand wrapping around yours even more so.

"Where are we going?" You asked, not that it mattered. With his hand in yours, you'd probably follow him anywhere.

He led you on a trek around the front of the mountain, the setting sun turning everything orange and making his hair appear as flames as you went.

Caught in the daze of bliss, it took you a while to notice what was draped over his other arm. "Wait, is that—I told you not to buy that!"

It was the woven blanket you had noticed earlier, the tapestry depicting sunrays falling through a thick forest of firs. "And what if I bought this for myself? I have uses for it."

"Then it's alright, I suppose."

"You can keep it once I'm done with it, though."

"Sly fox."

"Coin pincher."

"Seriously, though, where are we going?" You asked.

Fíli smiled at you. "A certain very large staircase."

You gasped. "Leading to a secret doorway?"

"The very same. I figured, since we were both trying to help Kili, erm, not die, we missed the excitement, and now we can see it for ourselves."

"That's extraordinarily thoughtful of you."

"Eh, I'd say averagely thoughtful at best," Fíli shrugged.

"Perfectly suitable for me," you told him.

"Good."

The achingly long trip up the staircase was rewarded with a very nice sight: another, less decorative blanket spread across the stone, a couple flat pillows, and three lanterns, already lit and ready to face the darkness.

"When did you find time to do this?" You asked Fíli, grinning from ear to ear.

"I have my ways," he said mysteriously. "And help."

"That's where Bofur, Bilbo, and Dori disappeared to," you observed. "I see. Well, it's very sweet of all of you."

"I'm glad you think so," Fíli said, still holding your hand as he guided you to sit on the blanket with him.

The stairs had taken longer than anticipated, so the sun was already almost gone. You quieted as you realized how close the time was. The two of you watched in quiet admiration as the moon rose, bright and perfect, into the sky, before you turned, hoping to catch a glimpse of the door.

You gasped. "There it is!" The moonrise revealed the shape of a perfectly hidden keyhole. "That is very neat, indeed."

"Mmhm," Fíli agreed. "Beautiful." The keyhole was not what he thought was beautiful. He wasn't actually looking at the door at all, but rather you, and the way the moonlight reflected off every spectacular detail of your face.

He had never known quite when he started to feel this way, only that he didn't in the Blue Mountains, when he barely knew you, and he did now.

You turned your gaze from the keyhole once the wonder had made a comfortable space in your heart, and looked to the stars, all too aware of how close Fíli was.

You read out the constellations to yourself in the comfortable silence, assuming the prince was doing the same. You then heard him shift.

"Lay with me," Fíli offered, and you turned around in record time, cheeks blazing and eyes wide.

"What?"

He was already lying down with his head on one of the pillows. "To watch the stars more comfortably."

"Alright," you said, voice quiet. You scooted down until you could lay your head on the other pillow, before changing your mind. You decided to take a risk and settle your head on his chest instead.

"Is this alright?" You asked immediately. The last thing you wanted was for him to be uncomfortable in this situation.

"Of course it is," he said softly, his arm raising to hold your waist. "I enjoy being close to you."

It wasn't quite a grand confession, but it was good enough for your heart to begin hammering in your chest. "I enjoy being close to you, too."

#lotr fanfic #lotr #the hobbit #lotr fandom #the hobbit headcanons #the hobbit x reader #fili x reader #fili durin x reader #fili and kili #fili fanfic #fili #fili durin #fili durinson #fíli x reader #fíli durin #fíli durin x reader

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runesandramblings · 1 year ago

Text

Intended

Word Count: 4600

Pairings: Fili x reader

Warnings: None

Description: Abandoned by Fili in the Blue Mountains after the quest to Erebor, you accepted the hand of another. But when you arrive in the kingdom under the mountain months later, you find that things were not as you believed.

“Fi, I really don’t know about this.”

You stuck your head out of the doorway to your chambers and looked hesitantly down the hall. It didn’t appear as though anyone were around to hear your conversation, but you could never be too certain. Every wall in Erebor seemed to have ears; gossip traveled around the kingdom like wildfire.

Fili only grinned at you in response.

“Come on, (Y/N). Has age truly made you this precautious? You used to be so much more fun.”

You grimaced at him as you checked both ends of the corridor again for lurking busybodies.

“We were children, Fili. We’re grown now. Besides, how would it look for a betrothed woman to be sneaking off with a dwarf who is not her intended?”

It was Fili’s turn to grimace at the mention of your fiance. He had made it known on more than one occasion that he was not overly fond of your soon to be husband, in spite of the fact that the same man was a distant cousin of his. The engagement was the only reason you were even in Erebor to begin with.

“It used to be your favorite thing to do, you know. Back in the Blue Mountains.” He continued, doing his best to urge you out of the front door.

You smiled wistfully as you thought of your home. Sure, Erebor was the ancestral home of your people. But the Blue Mountains had been where you were born and raised. Although you were sure you would grow to love Erebor in time, there was something about it that felt cold and unwelcoming. It had only been six months since the kingdom had been reclaimed, and construction was still heavily underway to rebuild the mountain. You had tried to give it the benefit of patience; surely it would all come together and feel as glorious as you’d always been told it was. But right now it was all piles of stone, closed corridors, and strict rules – which had led to the conversation you were having with Fili.

“Fili, your uncle will wring our necks if he catches us sneaking out. Curfew-”

“It’s a stupid rule.” Fili interrupted. “There’s not been a single disturbance since the battle for the mountain. Thorin worries too much.”

You sighed, feeling defeat was imminent as you looked up into Fili’s shining eyes. You’d never successfully said no to him a day in your life. You had grown up alongside Kili and FIli in the mountains. Their mother Dis and your mother had become close friends after the dwarves had settled into their new homeland. Both had lost their husbands in the battle for Moria, and they’d been a support system for each other as they raised their young children. Dis and Thorin were like a second set of parents to you, and your mother was the same for Kili and Fili. Growing up the pair of them had always gotten you into loads of trouble, whether it be playing pranks on their uncle or sneaking off for adventures in the forest. It hadn’t changed as you got older, and well into your adolescent and young adult years the three of you had continued to be an inseparable, and insufferable, trio.

“How would we even get out?” You asked quietly.

Fili grinned as he realized he’d finally worn you down and extended his hand out for you to take.

“You think I’ve been in this mountain for six months now and haven’t figured out all the secret passageways? Honestly, (Y/N). Do you know me at all?” He teased.

You couldn’t help the grin that spread across your face as he tugged on your hand and pulled you from your chambers and into the stone corridor. You tiptoed silently behind him as he led you down and around several narrow passageways, occasionally pulling you to duck behind pillars as members of the royal nightwatch patrolled the empty halls. Fili seemed to know the schedule and route they took, so avoiding watchful eyes was easy for the most part.

You felt a flutter in your stomach as Fili gently squeezed your intertwined hands. The older you had gotten, the closer you two in particular had grown. There was a special bond the two of you had, something that even your mother and Dis seemed to pick up on. In your adulthood a flirtation had begun to grow between you. You’d certainly begun to look at him much differently as he grew into himself, and from the way you noticed him watching you it seemed he felt the same. The budding feelings were also noticed by both of your mothers, and on more than one occasion both Dis and your own mother had grilled you about your relationship with Fili. They seemed to be certain that you and Fili were each other’s Ones, and that at some point he would formally ask their permission to court you.

It never happened, however. You’d never forget the chilly, spring morning when Fili had come to you and let you know that he and Kili were leaving to meet Thorin. They were going on a quest, he’d said. A dangerous journey to reclaim Erebor and bring their people home. You knew it was likely they might never return, and when he’d told you of his plans to leave you’d fully expected him to confess his feelings for you before he went, or at least make a promise to court you properly when he returned. He had not. He’d left the next morning, without so much as a hug goodbye.

It hurt, deeply. A part of you grew resentful, hateful even. You’d cursed Fili for leaving the way he had, and sworn on your own life that if he did return you’d never speak to him again. Dis had insisted it was not the way it seemed. She’d assured you that Fili spoke so fondly of you, and the evening before he left he’d fretted himself sick over how to say goodbye to you. She’d seemed surprised that he left without a word, but she assured you it was not out of any ill will or malice.

“You mean so much to him, nâtha.” She’d said, hugging you as you wept bitter tears into her shoulder. “He knows he might not return and the thought of telling you goodbye for what could be the last time tore him to pieces.”

Your feelings of malice and anger had slowly dissipated the longer Fili was gone. You’d grown wistful, longing for the day he’d come back into the village and come knocking on your mother’s door. You dreamed of the time he would stroll into the room, take you into his arms, and declare his love for you.

“This way.”

Fili’s voice cut through your thoughts and brought you back to reality. He released your hand and placed his on your lower back instead, guiding you through a narrow doorway that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. It was carved seamlessly into the stone, invisible to the naked eye as most dwarf doors were.

“How-” You started.

He winked as he pulled the door shut silently behind him.

“I have my ways.”

After a few moments of walking through near darkness you began to smell the scent of pine mingled with fresh, rain-tinged air. The tiny stone corridor led directly out into the forest. Pine trees stood tall around you, and you could hear the faint sound of a running brook. Moonlight spread over the small clearing, illuminating the ground in a pale light.

“Wow.” You breathed. You inhaled deeply, filling your lungs with the scent of the fresh air. It had been weeks since you’d stepped outside, thanks to Thorin’s tight curfew for those who resided in Erebor. You hadn’t realized how much you’d missed the moonlight until you saw it for the first time in so long.

You looked over at Fili. The light of the full moon washed over him, illuminating his golden hair in an almost silvery glow. He was too busy also admiring the moon to see you admiring him. You felt a pang of guilt and regret course through you, and you couldn’t help but wish that it was he you were engaged to.

After word had been sent back to the Blue Mountains that Erebor had been reclaimed, and that all thirteen members of Thorin’s company survived, you’d expected to hear from Fili. For weeks you’d waited for a letter, for some communication from him that he wanted to see you. It never came. You’d grown discouraged, and after months of silence you’d finally put Fili out of your mind. When an acquaintance of your family had reached out to your mother and proposed a match between their son, Barin, and you, you had accepted without a second thought. Despite your mother’s reluctance to wed you to a man you’d never met, you had assured her that you wanted to go. You had written back immediately, accepting the proposal, and within weeks you’d traveled to Erebor to meet your intended. The wedding plans had begun right away, and the date was set for a mere two months to the day you’d arrived.

Within hours of you arriving in the mountain, Fili had found out. He’d sought you out immediately, and in spite of the year since you’d seen each other he seemed thrilled to finally be around you again. He never brought up why he hadn’t said goodbye to you, or why he hadn’t written since they’d retaken the mountain. You tried to put it out of your mind as you rekindled your friendship. However you couldn’t deny that the questions had been gnawing at you ever since you’d arrived. Why hadn’t he come to see you before he left for the Shire? Why hadn’t he written to you once the mountain was won? Had you imagined everything forming between the two of you back home, before he’d left?

“(Y/N)?”

Fili’s voice cut through your reverie once again. You turned to look at him. He was staring down at you, his eyes searching your face for some hint as to what was occupying your thoughts. His look was so gentle, almost wistful. You thought your knees might buckle underneath you if you stared back at him for too long.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked, his voice soft. You felt yourself locked into his gaze, and it took every ounce of willpower you had not to stretch up onto your toes and kiss him right there.

“A lot of things.” You said quietly. You desperately wanted to bring it up, to ask him all of the questions burning in your mind.

“Such as?” He prompted. You felt his hand touch your elbow as he tugged at your sleeve, indicating he wanted you to sit underneath one of the towering pines with him. You obliged and sat down, legs crossed in the same unladylike fashion your mother had often scolded you for as a child. He sat beside you in the same position, close enough that your kneecaps brushed against each others.

You debated for several moments as he watched you, anticipating what you were going to say.

“The wedding.” You lied finally, deciding not to bring up the questions you so desperately wanted to ask.

Fili’s face fell, and he quickly turned from looking at you to looking up at the moon through the trees.

“Ah.” He said, keeping his attention focused elsewhere as he spoke. “What of it?” His tone was flat, disinterested. You knew it was probably the last thing he wanted to discuss.

“Don’t sound so excited.” You muttered. You kept your own gaze focused on the exposed ground beneath your criss-crossed legs. You felt the familiar feelings of bitterness growing in your chest as you toyed with a few fallen twigs on the ground. It was his fault, anyway. The only reason you’d accepted a match with a man you barely knew was because he’d abandoned you in the Blue Mountains and not returned. Had he only come to see you before he left, or reached out after the battle, things would be very different.

“No, I’m thrilled for you.” He said, though you could detect the falseness in his voice. “Barin is from a good family, I’m sure he’ll make a fine husband.” You were sure the words were eating him alive as he spoke them. Fili hadn’t said one kind thing about him since he’d first learned of your engagement.

You sat in silence for several agonizing moments, neither of you looking at each other.

“Do you love him?” He asked finally.

You felt your breath catch in your throat. Love. There was only one man you had ever loved, could ever see yourself loving. He was sitting beside you. No, you did not love your intended. But the one you truly loved had rejected you, abandoned you.

“Love will come.” You said quietly, keeping your attention focused on the ground as you spoke.

Several more moments of silence passed before Fili spoke again.

“And what if it does not?”

You shrugged, declining to answer aloud. You hadn’t stopped to think for yourself what you would do if you could not find love for your betrothed. Dis and your mother had both voiced the same concerns. You’d been telling yourself that it would be alright for weeks, and you couldn’t stop to think now of what would happen if you were wrong.

The two of you sat in silence for several long minutes before Fili began to speak again. He changed the subject, to your relief, and began to tell you stories of the company’s journey to Erebor. He’d already told you so much just in the few short weeks you’d been reunited, and you were surprised to find he still had many tales to tell. You sat for hours under the trees together, enthralled by the sound of his voice. The way his speech quickened as he got to the exciting parts. The giggles that spilled out between words as he told you of the humorous things that had happened. Even the deepening timbre of his voice as he told you of the darker parts, the moments when he truly did not know if they would make it out alive.

You’d lost track of the time as he spoke, and before you realized what was happening you found your eyelids drooping. Fili took notice and quickly stood, extending his hand to help you to your feet.

“Come on, gaihith. Let’s get you back.”

If you did not know it wasn't physically possible, you would have sworn you could feel your heart breaking within your chest. Fili’s nickname for you, the one he’d used so many times before. It had been nearly 18 months since you’d last heard him call you by that name. Hearing it now, given the circumstance you found yourself in, felt nearly unbearable. Once you were wed to Barin you were certain you’d never hear it again.

You followed Fili closely as the two of you wound your way back through the hidden passageways, back through the empty corridors and into the wing where your chamber was. As you stopped in your doorway and turned around to say goodnight, you were surprised to find Fili standing inches away from you. He stood so close the tip of his nose almost touched yours. You backed into the threshold and felt your back hit the door.

“Fili, what are you-”

Without a word he closed the space between you, bringing his lips down to feverishly touch yours. It was a moment you’d longed for, had dreamed of. His lips felt soft and warm against your own. The familiar scent of him, the sweetness of the pipe tobacco on his breath mingled with the earthy scent of the cologne he wore. Unthinking you felt yourself lean into the kiss, your hands grasping at the leather of his tunic. You’d not yet kissed Barin, but you were certain it could never compare to the sparks that flew through you at Fili’s touch.

Barin. Your fiance.

You broke the kiss instantly, pushing yourself backward and into the hard wood surface of the door.

“Fili!” You whispered harshly as you shoved him away. “What in Mahal’s name are you doing?” You looked quickly from one end of the hall to the other, relieved that no one was awake at this hour to see what he had done.

“(Y/N)-” He stepped closer, coming back to tower over you in the doorframe once again. “I-”

You put your hand against his chest to stop him.

“No, Fili.” You said firmly. “No. Do you have any idea what would happen if someone were to see what you’ve just done? My engagement would be over. How dare you.” You felt a surge of anger rising in your chest. After all he’d put you through, after you’d finally tried to move on and put him out of your mind… Now he had the nerve to kiss you publicly, in full view of anyone that might come strolling down the corridor. To think of the scandal.

“You need to leave, Fili.” You said harshly, shoving against his chest and pushing him out of your doorway. “Now.”

“(Y/N) wait-”

“Go.” You shouted, no longer caring if anyone were around to hear. You fumbled for the doorknob behind you, pushing it open and disappearing into your chamber, not looking back.

“Oh, (Y/N) this dress is beautiful.” Dis cooed.

You stood between her and your mother as they circled you, making adjustments to the intricate white gown you wore. You gave her a halfhearted smile as she paused to pin a small section back that would need altering.

“It is unlike anything I’ve ever seen.” Your mother said in agreement. “I think one more round of alterations should do it. How does it feel?”

“It feels fine, amad.” You lied. You ran your hands over the front of the dress, feeling each delicately woven bead. It truly was a beautiful gown, one you should be thrilled to wear. Perhaps if it were someone else you were marrying, you would be.

“Is everything alright, dear?” Dis asked. She paused her circling as she came to stand in front of you. “You’ve been unusually quiet today.”

No, everything was not alright. In spite of your best efforts to put it from your mind, you couldn’t stop thinking of the kiss. That kiss. Your head spun just thinking about it. You couldn’t help but wonder if you’d reacted too harshly. Fili had kissed you, after all. And maybe that meant…

No. You couldn’t think of that now. It was too late. You couldn’t throw away a sure thing for a chance. Without even realizing it you visibly shook your head, willing the thoughts away.

“(Y/N), what is the matter? You’re hiding something.” Your mother said. She stopped before you as well, hands planted on her hips.

You felt your mouth open and close, debating whether or not you should tell them the truth. Both Dis and your mother wore the same worried expression, standing in the same stance with their hands on their waists.

“I-” You started to explain, to spill everything, as a knock at your chamber door interrupted you.

“I’ll get that.” Dis said, giving you a ‘this isn’t over yet’ look as she darted away.

As she departed your mother stepped closer to you, bringing herself close enough to whisper in your ear.

“Are you having second thoughts, darling? If you are, you know it is not too late.” She urged.

Before you had the chance to explain a familiar voice rang out from the foyer.

“Please, amad. I just need a few minutes.”

It was Fili.

You felt your breath catch in your throat as Dis reappeared. She gestured for your mother to join her. Your mother gave you a questioning look as she also recognized the voice of your childhood friend. She nodded reluctantly as she crossed the room to join Dis. As soon as they’d disappeared, Fili rounded the corner. He stopped short as he saw you standing in the center of the room, outfitted in your wedding gown.

“Mahal.” He breathed. “You look beautiful.”

“What do you want, Fi?” You asked flatly, ignoring his compliment. Although you were seconds from admitting to your mother all that had transpired the evening before, you were still cross with his behavior. To kiss you out of nowhere, after all he’d done. The impudence of that dwarf.

“Why are you marrying him?” He blurted.

You felt the heat rise in your cheeks. Anger surged through you at his forwardness.

“What kind of question is that?” You snapped.

“Don’t answer my question with another question. I deserve to know.”

“You deserve to know??” You lifted the dress up around your knees and stomped across the room to where he stood, coming to rest a mere foot away from him. “You don’t deserve anything from me, Fili.”

“What does that mean?” He asked, his voice softening. His eyebrows were knitted together, confusion splayed across his features.

“You know damn well what that means.”

“I don’t.” He said simply, and from the surprised tone of his voice you somewhat believed him. Could he really not understand just how deeply he’d hurt you?

“Why didn’t you say goodbye?!” Finally, the questions you’d been holding onto for nearly a year began to spill out. Once the floodgates were opened, you found it impossible to stop the words from tumbling from your lips. “Why didn’t you write to me?! I waited FIli. For months after I heard you were alive. You sent for your mother. You sent for your things. But you didn’t send for me.” As the words you’d been holding back began to flow, the tears did as well. Your voice cracked, your throat thick with the emotion you’d suppressed these long, agonizing months.

“(Y/N)-”

“You didn’t even say goodbye.” You continued, willfully pushing through the tears that fell freely. “You ran off to be a hero. I might have lost you and you didn’t even come to see me.” Your tears broke into a loud sob as you choked out the last few words. You clamped your hand over your mouth, trying to hold back the emotions that had finally been set free.

Fili said nothing. He stood, staring at you with an expression you could not read. His arms were stiffly at his sides, as though he did not know what to do. You felt your anger return as you watched him, emotionlessly watching as you broke down over him. A bitter laugh slipped from your throat as you shook your head at your own ignorance.

“I was a fool to think you ever loved me.” You muttered, turning away.

“Loved you?” He said finally, his voice barely above a whisper.

You did not turn back as you continued moving across the room.

“Forget I said anything. Just go, Fili. Please.”

“You think I loved you?” He asked again, his voice growing louder. You could hear him begin to walk, following you across the room.

“Fili-”

“(Y/N) I love you. Here, now. I never stopped.”

You stopped in your tracks. Had you heard him correctly? Did he just…

You turned slowly back to face him. He was staring at you softly, and he looked as though tears were threatening to spill over in his own eyes.

“Then why did you leave me the way you did?” Your voice came out in a whisper, muffled both by the tears and the shock of hearing FIli’s words.

“Oh, ghivashel.” He stepped hesitantly closer, and when you did not move away he took your hands gently in his own. “If I had come to see you before I left that morning I do not think I would have gone. I don’t think I’d have had the strength to say goodbye and know I might never see you again. Kili needed me, I had to be strong for him. I had to go.”

“Why didn’t you write to me after? Why didn’t you ask me to come join you?” A million new questions had sprang into your mind. Could it have all been a misunderstanding? Had he not truly abandoned you? Did he…?

“I did. You did not come, I thought you didn’t feel the same for me.”

You shook your head.

“I didn’t get a letter.”

He scowled down at your intertwined hands, shaking his head.

“Damn ravens. Untrustworthy things.” He looked from your hands back to you, and the softness of his earlier expression had returned. “(Y/N), the first thing I thought of when we retook the mountain was you. We spoke of the rebuild, of the future… All I could think about was bringing you to me as soon as possible. I couldn’t possibly imagine building a future if you were not in it. I love you, (Y/N).”

You opened and closed your mouth, unable to find the words to speak. He wanted you. He had sent for you. He loved you.

“It broke my heart when I heard you were engaged to another.” He continued. You felt him tenderly squeeze your hands as he spoke. “It’s taken everything in my power not to tell you how I felt. To beg you to marry me and not him. But I assumed you were happy. It wasn’t until last night that I realized I might have a chance. I’m sorry if I blindsided you in the hallway, it probably wasn’t the best way to show you how I felt.”

You shook your head, still in a daze over the words he spoke. He’d intended to marry you.

“Fili, I love you too. I always have.” You said quietly, finally finding your voice. You felt as though you were in a daze, in a dream that you might wake up from at any moment. You knew there would have to be a conversation with Barin at some point, but for the moment you didn’t care.

“So… now what?” You asked uncertainly.

A nervous smile crossed Fili’s face as he fumbled around in the pocket of his tunic. After a few moments of digging he removed a small, golden bead. You felt your heart begin to pound in your chest as you recognized the courting bead his father had given his mother, the one you’d seen many times as a child in Dis’ jewelry box.

“I’ve known you for 80 years, gaihith. We don’t need to overcomplicate it.” As he spoke he knelt down before you, still holding one of your hands tightly in his as he held out the delicate golden bead in the other. “Will you be my wife, (Y/N)? I cannot imagine spending another day under this mountain without you by my side.”

You felt the tears begin to flow again, only this time they were tears of joy instead of sorrow. You nodded wordlessly as Fili got back to his feet. Without hesitation he cupped your face in his hands and brought his lips down to meet yours, gentler this time than he had the night before. For the first time in nearly two years, you felt as though you were home.

Gaihith – little dove

Amad - mother

Ghivashel - my treasure

Nâtha - daughter

#fili durin #fili x reader #fili #fíli #fíli x reader #fíli durin #the hobbit x reader #the hobbit one shot #the hobbit imagine #fili imagine #the hobbit

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khazadaimenu · 5 months ago

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Is it me or there’s more Fili in that Lego game than in the actual movies?

I keep seeing stuff and I’m like, yes! Fili living his best life!

#when will I play this game?#for real I need it #I don’t think it’s available in my region #the hobbit #fili #fili durin #fíli #fíli durin

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pilkypills · 3 months ago

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filbert, my beloved blondie

#no moustache braids heehee walrus mode #the hobbit #fíli #fíli durin #arts

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ironmandeficiency · 2 years ago

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durin line + finding out you have nipple piercings

pairing: durin line (fíli, thorin, kíli)/ fem!reader

word count: 1312

summary: how the sons of durin react to discovering you have nipple piercings

a/n: this just happened to pop into my head and i figured “why not?” it’s my first time writing anything lotr, we’ll see how it goes (18+ for obvs reasons). here’s the dwarven translator i used

warnings: implied smut, one ref to pregnancy, tons of secondhand embarrassment

fíli:

dude was caught off guard in the best way possible

it was only hours after your braiding ceremony, both of your marriage beads glistening in the fireplace light in your shared bedroom

you hadn’t been intimate with each other since beginning your betrothal, and it was not for a lack of trying (dwalin was a painfully obstinate chaperone that had far too many eyes around the kingdom)

doomed to abide by tradition, the most improper act committed was a simple swat or pinch to your ass, or your fingers playfully twirling at the braids in his hair or mustache

removing your clothes in front of fee for the first time before preparing for bed, your love notices two metallic glints on your chest and his jaw falls to the floor

the ends of each silver rod is adorned with polished citrine crystals that were eerily similar to the vibrancy of his hair

you had made no previous mention to him about the metal before then, and he had never noticed their presence throughout the trek to erebor

(the company allowed you at least the semblance of privacy on the few occasions there was time to bathe, and he has manners despite what kíli says to the contrary)

“my tumat, by mahal you never cease to amaze me,” fíli’s constant state of awe over you increased tenfold as he admired how the jewelry complimented your breasts

his callused hands roamed your body, sending goosebumps across your skin with every feather light touch

tradition is very clear about how married couples should spend their wedding night, and who would fíli be to ignore tradition?

tumat — gem

thorin:

training with your beloved was never a simple task. he was never one to hold back a few punches, making sure you learned the easy way that no other enemies would be lenient with you

easy way my ass, you groaned as a well-placed kick behind your knee brought you to the ground

it was refreshing to not be treated like a dainty flower when you were plenty capable, but damn was it a painful process

“come on, my ozbim kovotos,” thorin offers you a hand up with a small smile, “we’ve only just begun!”

you roll your eyes as you get back into a sparring position across from your ridiculous lover

“flattery won’t get you anywhere, amralime!” you playfully yell at him

“it gets you into my bed, doesn’t it?” his teasing tone makes you want to punch the smirk from his handsome face

the coordinated dance you know with the same familiarity as your thorin’s eyes keeps you on your toes, anticipation preparing you for any move he could throw your way

well, any move except for the one he ended up using against you, as luck would have it

thorin knocked you off balance with a well-aimed elbow to the chest, almost knocking the breath from your lungs (he definitely could have if he wanted) as a muscular leg hooked around yours and brought you to the ground

coming back to your senses, you stared at the sky above you and groaned in pain. the hand not covering your face against the sunlight clutched at the poor breast that suffered the brunt of thorin’s strength

to his credit, his response time was almost immediate when he saw you holding your poor breast

he brought you to your feet and fretted over you the way he’s wont to do, asking if your chest was extra sensitive for some reason unbeknownst to him

“it was meant to be a surprise, you dolt!” your complaint had him reeling. surely you weren’t… he hopes to mahal that he didn’t just clobber his one while carrying his child, all the color draining from his face

you were quick to track his thoughts as he started to fret, reassuring him hastily that you weren’t pregnant at all, just nursing some new jewelry that you wanted to show him in your shared chambers later in the evening

his relief was palpable as he heaved a great sigh of relief. your fool of a husband, thinking you’re with child!

that would be the golden ticket to keep you away from his grueling training sessions, not a surprise you spring on him in the middle of one!

you make this known to him and his warm laugh rumbles through your chest. a teasing glint in his eye makes itself known before you’re suddenly thrown over your king’s shoulder, a surprise laugh escaping you

“if you want an excuse to skip our training sessions, you need but ask, ghivashel.”

ozbim kovotos — fierce beloved

ghivashel — treasure of all treasures

kíli:

any time it’s brought up, your dear prince flushes deeper than the color of gloin’s hair and the laughter of the company rings like bells around the fire

after the initial shock of the incident, it became a common source of amusement when spirits were low. each retelling gave more bizarre details and unbelievable quotes that most definitely didn’t happen

after finding shelter within beorn’s home, you relished the idea of getting to rinse off the grime of your adventure in clean water

the shifter’s chivalry (and dislike of dwarves, probably) gave you the first chance to bathe out of the party of 15

time was an illusion as you scrubbed away the dirt and let yourself unwind in the water, the faint breeze rustling the wildflowers in the nearby meadow

eventually, some of the dwarves began to comment about the time you were taking, joking about you becoming a fish (dwalin) or somehow drowning and leaving the others to suffer without a soak (fíli)

this chatter alarmed kee far more than he knew it should, the young prince fighting the urge to check up on you

logic reminded him that you were all safe within beorn’s realm, but some of the others joined in the silly commentary and kíli had no choice to make sure you didn’t actually become a fish

making as inconspicuous an exit as he could, he beelined for the small pond where you were, hoping against hope that you were simply enjoying yourself and

for all the things he was prepared to see (you becoming a human-fish hybrid or being eaten by flesh-eating underwater plants, to name a couple), he was definitely not prepared for what he actually saw

you slowly emerged from the water, tiny droplets kissing your skin softly. the sunlight reflected off each bead with the elegance of the finest jewels on this side of erebor

then his eyes caught the actual jewels you carried on your chest, and kíli would have fallen to his knees in praise of your beauty had you not spotted him first

“is there no such thing as privacy here?! let me bathe in peace, you heathen!”

kee covered his eyes with one palm and turned his back to you for good measure, mortified at his current predicament

“everyone was talking about you getting eaten or drowning, and it worried me! i didn’t mean to be improper!” his voice was so sincere that you couldn’t find it in you to be angry for very long

“i’m alive and well, kíli! now if you’ll wait a moment for me to be dressed, i think a princely escort back to the barn would be plenty to protect me!”

the playful lilt in your voice could be heard from the several yards of distance between you and he exhaled in relief that you weren’t truly offended

he almost turned around again on impulse but caught himself just in time, the blood in his veins hotter than the forges with embarrassment

chuckling to yourself as you put on semi-clean clothes, you looped an arm around kíli’s and let him guide you back to camp, the story of kee seeing you naked becoming an immediate hit

#thorin oakenshield #fíli durin #kíli durin #durin’s sons #the hobbit #thorin oakenshield x reader #fíli durin x reader #kíli durin x reader #fili x reader #kili x reader #lotr fanfic #hobbit headcanon #fili durin #kili durin #thorin durin

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nostalgicnarrator · 2 months ago

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Over Hill and Under Mountain

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Word Count: 6,003

Parings: Thorn X Bilbo

Description:

Bilbo wakes up…

Chapters: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Warning:

No one’s getting horribly mangled, murdered or deep-fried just warning.

Note:

Guys I’ve edited this and edited this and fixed it a million times and I am convinced I’ve lost all meaning to words, if there’s anything wrong or anything that doesn’t make any sense at all let me know.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

Bilbo found himself waking up to the soft sounds of a distant waterfall and the chirping of birds. His body felt heavy with exhaustion, but the sheets beneath him were light and soft, the air was filled with a familiar faint floral scent mingled with the sharper smell of herbs.

He blinked slowly, the room around him coming into focus, a gentle light filtering through the sheer curtains, there was a gentle breeze brushing through the room.

Bilbo turned his head away from the light, feeling a dull throb coming from his head and a tender pain in his side. He squeezed his eyes shut with a groan as he tried to sit up. Suddenly, a wave of nauseating dizziness washed over him.

Bilbo let out a whine of pain. A rough hand found its way to his chest and back, steadying him. Bilbo opened his eyes quickly and followed the arm until Óin appeared at his side.

The healer offered him a kind look, his rough hands surprisingly gentle as he helped Bilbo into a more comfortable position. “Easy there, lad,” Óin murmured. “You’ve been through quite a bit. No need to rush things.”

Bilbo nodded, his gaze drifting to the window. Outside, the world seemed so serene, the river glistening in the sunshine, its surface like glass.

He suddenly felt worlds away when he remembered his tumble down that slope. The thought of it sent a shiver down his spine. He shook his head and decided to look around.

“How long have I been here?” Bilbo asked, his throat felt dry and scratchy from disuse, he tried to clear it but found it no use.

Óin disappeared from his side for a moment before returning with some water. “Three days,” Óin replied. “I’ve done what I can with a little elven healing on the side.” He said as he helped Bilbo drink.

The water was cool and refreshing as it eased the dryness in Bilbo’s throat. He let out a small sigh of relief. “Thank you, Óin.” Suddenly a memory hit him and his brows furrowed. “Gandalf, I-I was traveling with him…Óin, Is he-?”

“He’s fine lad! Knew you were a little out of it from the fall didn’t think it was that bad-” Óin chuckled. “He’s outside, keeping an eye on things. You gave everyone a scare.”

Bilbo managed a weak smile. “I’m sorry to be such a bother.”

“Nonsense,” Óin said gruffly. A kind look found the old healer's face as he spoke.“Just focus on getting better, alright?” And Bilbo couldn’t help but nod.

But as the days passed and his strength slowly returned, he couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that settled in his chest, that something was wrong or misplaced.

And being confined to bed was driving him mad. He began wanting for a distraction, for something to take his mind off his new weird feelings.

One morning, after a lot of “please, Óin!” and “I promise, Óin,” and “just for a bit at least! You won’t be far away, I’ll call for you if I feel sick suddenly,” Bilbo finally managed to convince Óin to let him have visitors.

Bilbo felt his face light up when Gandalf entered the room, carrying a stack of books from Elrond’s library, a familiar glint nestled kindly in Gandalf’s eye.

“I thought you might enjoy some light reading,” Gandalf said, setting the books down on the bedside table. “I’ve also brought a friend.”

“A friend?” Bilbo echoed excitedly, was it Thorin, was Thorin here and the Dwarf was simply not allowed to see Bilbo yet?

But a bit of that hope flattened when a small black shape fluttered through the doorway, it was Hugin. Bilbo smiled kindly all the same though as Hugin perched on the bedpost. The bird ruffled his feathers and tilted his head at Bilbo.

“Hugin!” Bilbo said as excitedly as he could. “It’s good to see you.”

Hugin flapped his wings once, hopping in place a bit. “Good to see you too, Master Baggins! I had delivered your letter and then all of a sudden I was sent here!”

Gandalf smiled at the two and excused himself to speak with an elf who called for him at the door, leaving Bilbo and Hugin alone.

Bilbo leaned forward, his voice dropping to a whisper. “Hugin, do you know if Thorin is coming? Did you hear anything when you delivered my letter?”

The raven blinked thoughtfully. “Well, I delivered your letter, I had a nice time there, Thorin keeps all kinds of tasty treats but nothing like you Master Baggins”

“Hugin, call me Bilbo, I’m not anything’s master” Bilbo said, rattling it off like he had said it a dozen times before.

“Right, yes, of course Master Baggins.” And Bilbo sighed loudly as the raven continued. “I was then sent away here with a letter from King Thorin. He looked really upset…”

“What did it say?” Bilbo whispered to the raven, he felt his stomach begin to tie knots.

“I didn’t know, but I do remember that King Thorin said it was about you.” Hugin did his best attempt at a shrug. “I flew here as fast as I could and handed it over to the wizard when I saw him. After that Óin showed up!”

“Just Óin…he showed up alone? Do…do you think Thorin is mad at me? I am sure I am very late by now.”

“Master Baggins! How dare you suggest that! King Thorin cares for you very much! Thorin didn’t seem mad so maybe he’s already on his way to visit! And maybe Thorin is running late- oh! Or got lost! You know how he gets”

Bilbo chuckled and nodded, “yes I do, thank you Hugin…is there anything else…?”

“Yes! There was much whispering and fussing between the wizard, the healer, and the Lord of Rivendell; it started a few days after Óin showed up.”

Bilbo’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean, whispering?”

Hugin nodded vigorously. “Aye, secretive talk. They all acted a bit strange, As if they were waiting for something… maybe something bad…?”

Before Bilbo could press further, Gandalf returned with a gentle smile. “I see you two are catching up,” he said lightly, though his eyes seemed to be studying Bilbo carefully.

Bilbo nodded, dropping the line of questioning for the moment. “Yes, it’s been quite nice. Thank you Gandalf.”

Gandalf simply nodded, settling back into the chair by the bed. “Now, tell me, Bilbo, have you read up on Rivendell’s history? I thought you might find it fascinating.”

Bilbo smiled, letting the conversation shift, but a seed of unease had been planted, it made Bilbo feel something, something weird. Bilbo felt something, something he couldn't quite put his finger on. His unease was growing, and he knew that something was about to happen. He was sure of it.

A few days passed, and Bilbo was feeling well enough to sit up for longer periods. Lord Elrond came to visit him in his room, Elrond smiled as he greeted Bilbo “How are you feeling, Master Baggins?” Elrond's voice was gentle as he took a seat by the bedside.

“Lord Elrond! It’s good to see you again! And I’m the master of nothing, call me Bilbo, as I had asked several times before.”

Elrond chuckled and smiled, "Forgive me, Bilbo. It has been a long time since I have seen you, and old habits die hard." Bilbo grinned back, “Now tell me, how are you feeling?”

“Oh! Well, Óin says I'm getting better,” Bilbo replied. “Though, I do wish I could get out of bed. I feel horribly useless just lying here.”

Elrond chuckled softly. “Rest is a form of healing too, my friend. Your body needs time to recover.”

Bilbo gave Elrond a playful glare “I know that rest is a type of healing, but, I’m a restless hobbit!”

“Didn’t Mithrandir- Gandalf steal away some books for you?” and Bilbo could not stop himself from sighing at the elf’s words.

“A few, yes, but there is only so much reading can do for you! I’ve already read them twice over-“ Bilbo glared at the books that were now on a table across the room, he had read them not too long after Gandalf left.

“Twice! You just got them only a few days ago, how in the name of Ennor did you manage that?” the elven lord raised a brow as he asked. Bilbo thought it looked a little out of place on the elf's face.

Bilbo huffed and snuggled back into his bedding, “I like reading…” he looked up when the Elven lord laughed. “Don’t laugh at me!”

“No- no! you misunderstand, you are such a curious hobbit, I’ll see about getting you something more to read soon” Elrond said after he calmed down.

Bilbo huffed and crossed his arms with a grumpy pout “I like histories and botany books”

“Of course” Elrond offered him a kind smile and Bilbo found himself smiling back. They settled into more boring topics as they spoke for a while longer.

Sometimes turning the conversation to discuss Rivendell and the beauty of the valley. It felt all perfectly regular and Bilbo could feel some of that unease wash away from him.

Not long after Elrond left, Hugin came fluttering through his room window. The raven circled around for a bit before settling down on Bilbo’s bed.

The raven greeted Bilbo with a cheerful caw hopping over excitedly before dropping a small blue flower onto his lap. “I thought you might like this, Master Baggins,” Hugin chirped.

Bilbo smiled, picking up the flower. The color reminded him of Thorin, he brushed one of its petals with a soft smile. “Thank you, Hugin. It’s lovely.” He paused, ‘…Thorin.’ He heard his mind echo to him.

He sat up a little straighter, as far as he could stand without help, “Hugin” Bilbo started trying to keep his voice even and quiet, “can you tell me more about this letter you delivered from Erebor? Did you talk to Thorin?”

Hugin tilted his head. “Of course! I stayed in his chambers for a while, it was too cold on Raven hill.”

“You did? Can you tell me about him? How is he?” Blibo asked, it wasn’t the line of questioning he had meant to ask, but it was to late.

Hugin hopped into Bilbo’s lap and settled down comfortably, “Thorin looked fine, he looked like he always does-well, his Beard is getting long! He had a bead in it-“

“It’s already that long? Last time I saw him it was still short. Do you think he looks handsome like that?” Bilbo tisked and rolled his eyes, he reached to scratch Hugin’s head. “I told him if he grew his beard out he’d look handsome- always complaining about how ugly he is, can you believe that?”

The bird cooed at the scratches, Hugin huffed when Bilbo stopped, but decided to answer one of Bilbo’s questions “Thorin did kinda seem upset about something, but not mad. More worried, he was always pacing. I think he misses you, Master Baggins.”

Bilbo’s heart ached at the thought. “I miss him too,” he whispered. “I hope I see him soon…”

“Master Baggins, I told you, he’s gonna visit you, just give him time. Be patient!” Hugin cawed at him.

“Say you, you nearly had a fit when I told you dinner would be in a few minutes” Bilbo teased the bird.

“I had already waited hours!!” Hugin whined as he fluffed up

Bilbo gave a look he was sure his mother used to give him when he was acting out. “You had just finished eating less than an hour before!”

“But I was so hungry!” Hugin whined, the bird flopped over onto his back and looked at Bilbo “you were trying to starve me!”

“Hugin!” Bilbo laughed as the Raven kept whining. He couldn’t help but find it funny. And he gladly welcomed the change of topics. At least for now.

One afternoon, Bilbo had to convince Óin again, swearing he’d be fine. And after some more promising Bilbo found himself in a chair on a balcony.

It was a very nice day, strangely warm and the way the sun hit made Bilbo stretch out as much as he could comfortably in the chair he was in.

Bilbo smoked on his pipe peacefully. He blew a smoke ring and watched as it peacefully drifted away in a soft breeze. “I remember when we first came here, I spent most of my time exploring.”

Bilbo looked over to the wizard next to him, Gandalf was giving him a soft smile, “I believe you did if I remember correctly. I believe I also remember you and Thorin disappearing for a time; I wonder what for.” The wizard hummed.

Bilbo’s heart skipped a beat, he ignored the last part of Gandalf’s sentence, he spouted whatever came to mind first. “Do you think he’ll come?”

Gandalf raised a bushy brow at Bilbo as he smoked his own pipe, Gandalf blew rings that floated around him. Each ring a different color, they curled and weaved into one another.

“Who my dear boy?” Gandalf asked after blowing another ring.

“Thorin, do you think he’ll come…?” Bilbo rolled his pipe in his hands nervously.

“Ah….” Gandalf hummed for a moment, seemingly hesitating before smiling widely at him. “Perhaps? Though this seems more a question for Óin.”

“Óin…?” Bilbo echoed back, he looked over at Gandalf again.

Gandalf simply hummed and nodded his head before going back to smoking his pipe, Bilbo nodded to himself and decided he’d ask the Dwarf later.

When Óin agreed Bilbo’s health had improved enough to be allowed to explore the Last Homely House east of the sea. Though he had been there before, had already explored, He couldn’t help but find himself wandering the halls and gardens.

He remembered his first time there all over again. How the places felt like a haven to him. Other feelings he felt then came back to him, though not all were good feelings the sense of wonder was felt the most.

With each step though the Elven halls, it brought relief to his crowded mind. He had begun to worry more over Thorin, his feelings for the dwarf and if everyone else was right.

He wanted to see Thorin badly, he had to see him. And as much as he wanted to ask Óin he couldn’t. He was scared of what the healer would tell him.

What if all his worries were true, what if Thorin really didn’t want to see him, ‘what if he hates me?’ Bilbo stilled at the thought.

‘What if he hates me…?’ Bilbo ran a hand through his hair. ‘What if he send another letter and he tells me he never wants to talk to me again? Tells me I should had stayed in the shire?’

Bilbo shook his head trying to chase the thoughts away again, he tried to focus on the feeling of the magic that was wrapping around him like a warm hug.

It brought with it memories that began to replace the foul thoughts in his head. Thoughts of home, of distant moments when he would come home with sticks and leaves in his hair, trailing in mud and fireflies.

His mother would march him off for a bath with the promise of stories of elves and all her adventures if he were to listen to her. Memories of how she would wrap him nicely in a warm towel.

Memories of his father and watching him sit at his desk, writing for long hours, Bilbo remembered how he would walk over and try and watch them his father would pull him to his lap and let Bilbo read as he wrote.

Memories began to mix, and change into different memories, ones that were not as distant of memories. Most were of a raven haired king, of how he was wrapped in a warm embrace.

He looked out over the garden, his mind wondered back to when he had last seen Thorin. The days they spent together when he visited, were lovely.

They had spent long hours walking the winding roads of the shire, telling stories and having a wonderful time.

He smiled widely as he stepped foot onto one of the garden’s paths. He began to trail slowly through the garden, the flowers still bloomed despite the cooler weather. Bilbo wondered if it was strange magic there that allowed them to.

Bilbo sighed and brushed his fingers along some vines that bloomed beautifully with flowers. He stopped at some soft blue flowers. He felt like they were glaring at him.

And then Bilbo was reminded, reminded of everything he was worried about and the growing unease that had begun to take root within him. And from there it only got worse.

It started with the small things, as all problems seem to do. He began to notice how Óin had begun to sneak away to speak in hushed tones with Gandalf or the Elves.

And had even frequently caught the dwarven healer staring at him, his brow furrowed in thought, or pacing the halls while muttering to himself.

The more Bilbo began to notice, the more he watched, the stranger things seemed, and he felt that something incredibly important was being kept from him.

One afternoon, Bilbo took a chance to explore more of Rivendell on his own. He wasn’t meant to be up that day, but Óin was preoccupied, so Bilbo took the moment to escape.

That’s how he found himself in a dining hall, where an open letter lay on the table. Clearly forgotten by the elf lord or otherwise. Unfortunately, curiosity got the better of him, he leaned over and read a few lines.

Bilbo’s heart sinking as he read and learned, the letter spoke of dark forces gathering in the Gap of Rohan and spreading towards Mirkwood.

Bilbo felt the uneasy feeling climb higher, something sick scratched and clawed inside him. Bilbo couldn’t understand it, didn’t want to, he was afraid but why? The issue was so far away and he was among eleven magics.

But before he could pull himself into a true panic, Óin spoke from behind him. “What do you think you’re doing, Bilbo?” Bilbo could hear the concern in the healers voice even when he tried to mask it with gruffness. “Didn’t I tell you to rest, Lad?”

Bilbo felt a wave of guilt wash over him. “I’m sorry, Óin. I just...”

Óin sighed, his shoulders slumping slightly. “Aye, lad. But some things are best left alone until the time is right. Come, let’s get you back to bed.”

As Óin guided him back, Bilbo’s mind raced. ‘What else were they not telling me?’ He thought desperately, ‘Was this something that had to do with Thorin?’ ‘Was he okay?’ ‘Where was he?’ ‘Will he be here?’ ‘Was he even coming?’ His thoughts swirled around his mind.

Bilbo had to shake his dizzying thoughts away, he wondered vaguely if he should have asked Óin more, if he should do as Gandalf suggested.

Then the opportunity presented itself a few days later, as Bilbo sat by a small fountain with his eyes closed, listening to the soothing sound of the water, he heard the familiar sound of heavy footsteps approaching.

He opened his eyes and smiled up at Óin as the older dwarf joined him, wiping his hands on a cloth. “Good morning, lad,” Óin greeted him, “You’re looking better today.”

“Thank you,” Bilbo replied with a nod. He let a comfortable silence fall between them, feeling the cool mist from the fountain on his face.

After a moment, he decided that the time to question the dwarf had come. Trying to keep his tone light, he said, “I can’t help but notice you seem very busy lately. Is something the matter?”

Óin paused, his hand hovering over the pipe he was pulling from his pocket. He looked at Bilbo as if searching for something.

Then Óin sighed heavily before sitting down beside Bilbo. “I suppose it was only a matter of time before you asked,” he said, beginning to pack his pipe with tobacco.

Bilbo’s heart skipped a beat. “What do you mean?”

“Thorin was supposed to come with me lad,” Óin spoke loudly, though he often did. “We were to travel together, but he took too long…I feared I was out of time, so I left ahead. When I last saw him, he was waiting on Kíli and Fíli. We were supposed to meet in Mirkwood.”

“Then what happened…?” Bilbo asked, his anxiety creeping into his voice.

Óin shrugged. “Things didn’t go as planned, I assume. I came ahead.” He took a drag on his pipe, the smoke curling around his face. “After I arrived, we started getting a few letters from Erebor.”

“Letters?” Bilbo pressed, hoping for more information.

“Aye,” Óin nodded. “Letters, mostly from Balin. They’re meant for Thorin when he gets here.”

“So… so he is coming…?” Bilbo muttered, Óin gave him a confused look and Bilbo suddenly remembered that Óin was hard of hearing and he wasn’t facing the hobbit to be able to read his lips.

“Thorin is coming?” He asked, trying to be a bit louder.

Óin gave a small nod. “I believe so. He and others will be here soon enough.”

“Others?” Bilbo asked, trying to keep his hope in check.

Óin hummed and nodded in agreement as he took another puff from his pipe. “Most likely Fíli and Kíli, Nori and probably Dwalin- maybe Bombur but I doubt it, he’s waiting on his Brother and cousin to come back. That group is bound to be slower than I was, especially with the princes.”

“How-how long ago was that…?” Bilbo’s voice cracked as he asked, he would tell you it was because he had to be louder than he liked.

Óin looked down at Bilbo and sighed, placing a comforting hand on the hobbit’s shoulder. “Traveling on any road isn’t without danger. But I’m sure they’ll be fine, lad.”

Despite the reassurance, a flowering anxiety bloomed in Bilbo’s chest. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was horribly wrong.

The next day Bilbo skipped First breakfast, he couldn’t eat anything and if he did he began to feel sick. He decided since he was unable to do anything he’d go find someone to bother.

He very quickly found Gandalf strolling through the gardens. The leaves rustled softly in the breeze, and birds sang in the trees. It would have been very pleasant if Bilbo didn’t feel like throwing up.

He fell into step beside Gandalf, who greeted him with a warm smile. “Good morning, Bilbo. Feeling restless today, I see.”

Bilbo nodded, his hands fidgeting with the buttons on his shirt. “Gandalf,” he began hesitantly, “do you think they’re alright? Thorin and the others, I mean.”

Gandalf’s expression softened, and he paused in his walk, placing a gentle hand on Bilbo’s shoulder. “I do,” he replied calmly. “This is Thorin we are talking about. You should know better than anyone, that they have faced far worse than an unwilling path.”

Bilbo nodded again, but he still felt the sickening anxiety twisting within him. “I just… I can’t help but worry. I suppose I am truly turning into an old fool…”

Gandalf sighed. “ you have always been a foolish Hobbit Bilbo, have no doubt on that”

“Thank you Gandalf, you know you must work on your reassurances”

Gandalf chuckled and nodded “ I suppose so, have patience, my dear boy. They will come. I’m certain of it.” He patted Bilbo on the back before walking again.

Bilbo quickly followed beside the gray wizard. Gandalf spoke again “In the meantime, take solace in the peace of this place. Rivendell has a way of healing more than just the body.”

Bilbo managed a small smile at the attempt of comforting words. As they continued their walk, he tried to focus on the beauty around him, but his thoughts still remained with his Dwarfs

Bilbo had been doing his best to occupy his mind, focusing on light walks through Rivendell or engaging in pleasant conversations with whomever he could catch.

Unsurprisingly it was often Gandalf or Lord Elrond who kept him company, though sometimes Hugin would follow him around. They felt almost like a temporary balm to the unease that had been growing slowly within him.

But then, without warning, it happened. It was a perfect afternoon, well a nearly perfect one, at least. The sun had bathed the garden in a kind golden light.

Bilbo found himself alone among the flowers, their bright colors almost too bright in the light of the day. He couldn’t help but marvel at the delicate petals. He inhaled deeply, trying to savor the sweet, earthy scent of each flower.

Suddenly, Bilbo’s world tilted. The sturdy earth beneath his feet shifted. A sharp pain stabbed through his chest, stealing his breath away.

He tried to breathe in air, but his lungs refused to cooperate, leaving him gasping, each breath undoubtedly ragged, in a desperate struggle. The once calming warmth of the sun turned sharp and burning.

His hands instinctively grabbed at the ground, as he fell to his knees. Bilbo’s fingers dug into the soft soil wanting for an anchor to keep him in reality.

Panic surged through him, cold and swift. He shook his head, trying to clear the dizziness that clouded his mind, but it only made things worse. The vibrant colors of the garden; the reds, yellows, and blues of the flowers he’d been admiring, began to blur together, their edges softening and darkening.

Darkness slowly dug its claws into him and the edges of his vision. Bilbo felt his arms tremble, his strength had left him almost completely. Bilbo glanced around, his eyes still wild-eyed, searching for someone, anyone, who could help him.

But the garden was deserted, and the realization struck him, and struck him hard. He wined and Bilbo could feel tears blurring the rest of his vision, he was alone.

A strangled sound escaped his throat as his arms finally gave out. He buckled, and crumpled to the ground, the impact sending a jolt of pain through him.

Panic swelled within his chest, mingling with the suffocating sensation that gripped his lungs. ‘I’m gonna die here’ his mind all but screamed.

He tried to get up, but his body stubbornly refused, limbs failing to obey any of his frantic commands. His thoughts were a jumbled mess of terror and confusion, ‘I’m gonna die, I’m gonna die’ ‘help, please no’ ‘wheres Thorin?’, they all swirled together making it impossible to think clearly.

He tried to scream, to call out for help, but the sound that came out was pitifully weak, barely more than a desperate whisper. He blinked away his tears as his vision began to narrow.

He had no sense of time, no way of knowing how long he lay there, struggling to breathe, to move. It could have been seconds or hours; it all blurred together in a haze.

Then, through the fog, he heard it, the familiar sound of boots thumping they’re way up the path. Bilbo’s heart leaped with a flicker of hope, and with a desperate strength, he forced his body to move.

He rolled over onto his side, dragging himself forward with trembling arms. The effort was agonizing, and a scream tore from his throat, louder this time, ripping his throat raw.

Before he knew anything else Óin was there. The healer knelt beside him, his hands moving swiftly. “Stay awake for me, lad,” Óin muttered, his voice gruff but concerned.

Bilbo whimpered in response, the pressure in his chest easing away slightly as Óin worked. Bilbo gasped, drawing in a deeper breath than before, but it wasn’t enough.

The darkness was still there, hovering on the edge of his vision, wanting, clawing for him. He felt Óin’s arms scoop him up.

“Keep your eyes open, now.” Óin’s panic was clear, “you’ll be alright lad, come on.” Óins panic pierced through the haze that was clouding Bilbo’s mind.

Bilbo tried to hold on, really he tried, but it was no use. The darkness was too strong, its grip tightening around him. Óin’s voice became a distant echo, fading further and further away until there was nothing but silence.

After that Óin refused to leave his side, and if he did it wasn't for long, more then once Bilbo would devolve into random fits and when he’d come to and Óin would be holding him tightly.

Bilbo’s fever had returned, worse than before, and the wound on his head began to fester strangely. Dark thoughts crept into every corner of Bilbo’s mind as the sickness took its hold.

Bilbo struggled to remember what happened, or how to keep his memories straight but he remembered when he began to hear the whispers.

they would come and go from him, often more at night. They seemed to come from the walls or the deep inky shadows that crept and shifted in the darkness.

The few things he could remember was how the whispers were soft, lullingly quiet and almost relaxing. But then they grew louder, the whispers began to change and warp, to something he had never heard before.

He could hear snatches of an otherworldly melody, haunting and distant, followed by a deep, resonant humming that sent shivers down his spine.

“Do you hear that?” he asked Óin one night.

Óin frowned. “Hear what, lad?” Óin asked as he slowly stopped what he was doing and made his way to Bilbo’s side

“The voices… the music,” Bilbo whispered.

Óin exchanged a worried glance with Gandalf, who too began staying at Bilbo’s side. “There’s no music, Bilbo,” Gandalf said gently. “It’s just your mind playing tricks, you’re alright.”

But Bilbo was not convinced. The whispers, the singing grew louder, sometimes forming words he could almost understand, other times dissolving into soft laughter or high-pitched, eerie tones that seemed to bounce off the walls.

“Am I…am I going mad,” he whined as he looked at Óin, clutching the sheets tightly. “I don’t want to go mad Óin make the music stop, make it stop, stop, stop!.”

Bilbo had gripped at his hair desperately, he felt rough hands take his and untangle them from his hair “don’t do that lad. yer not going mad, I promise I’m not going to let ya go mad, okay?”

Bilbo didn’t remember what he said after that, the next thing he did remember was how he felt as if he were being watched, at all times, but whenever he turned to look, there was nothing there. He felt unseen eyes burning into him, watching his every move.

He remembered how his sleep became restless, filled with nightmares of dark corridors and shadowy figures. He would wake up drenched in sweat, gasping for air, his heart racing.

One he could remember vividly, he didn't think he could ever forget. He dreamt of Thorin, standing tall as he always did, his blue eyes piercing and determined.

But then, the dream shifted. Thorin was surrounded by orcs, their dark forms swirling like a storm around them. Blood, thick and dark, oozed down Bilbo's arms.

Bilbo tried to run, to get to Thorin but his feet wouldn’t move. Suddenly, a sharp blade sliced through the air, embedding itself into Thorin’s side.

Thorin reached out to Bilbo, his eyes wide with pain and fear. “Bilbo…” he whispered before collapsing to the ground. Bilbo screamed.

He woke up with a start, screaming still. “No! No! Thorin, no- wait, please, no! You can’t!” He thrashed against the sheets, tears streaming down his face.

Someone grabbed his arm, the voice spoke softly, rumbling in tone. but their voice was lost in the roaring thunder in his ears.

Suddenly, Gandalf was there, his arms wrapping around Bilbo, pulling him close. “It’s alright, Bilbo,” Gandalf whispered, his voice steady but filled with concern. “You’re alright. Hush now. What you saw isn’t real; it didn’t happen.”

But Bilbo shook his head frantically, the tears coming faster. “No! It happened, Gandalf! I saw it -I saw it happen! I saw it!”

From that night on, Bilbo’s fever worsened. It became even harder for him to distinguish between his dreams and reality, Bilbo's mind was beginning to blur memories and images, facts and fictions.

He had lost all meaning to any sound other than the whispers. The walls seemed to close in on him, and the shadows danced just out of reach, taunting him.

He felt as though he were sinking, the weight of his own body pressing him down. He tried to move, to speak, but his limbs felt heavy, like lead.

Bilbo’s mouth refused to form the words. He felt trapped in his own mind, a prisoner to the fever that burned through him.

In his fevered state, he often found himself standing in an endless void, a blackness so deep it seemed to swallow all light. He would whip his head around desperately for anything familiar, but there was nothing, just the dark, endless void.

Then the ground beneath him would shift, and he would feel himself falling, spiraling down into an abyss with no end.

He heard chanting, deep voices singing in a language he didn’t understand. The sound was everywhere and nowhere, vibrating through him, filling him with a strange mix of dread and awe.

He tried to cover his ears, but the sound was inside his head, reverberating through his very bones. “Gandalf,” he whimpered, “make it stop. Please, make it stop.”

Gandalf was always there, by his side, whispering soothing words, but Bilbo could hardly understand them. The words began to sound like rolling thunder, and soon even Gandalf’s voice was lost in the noise.

Bilbo felt himself slipping further away, the world around him growing darker, colder. The room spun, and Bilbo felt panic grip it's cold claws into him again. He didn’t want to lose his grip on reality. He didn’t want to fall into the darkness that waited at the edge of his mind. But he couldn’t stop it. He couldn’t fight it. The darkness was pulling him down, down into its cold embrace.

He could hear his own heartbeat slowing, the music growing louder, consuming him. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, there was only the music, the haunting, terrifying music.

Just when he thought he couldn’t bear it any longer, he heard a new sound,a clear, strong voice cutting through the chaos. It called his name. “Bilbo!” the voice rumbled, filled with fear and urgency. “Don’t ya dare, lad! Come on! Damn it, breathe!”

Bilbo’s eyes snapped open, he took a deep breath as his surroundings began to come back to him, he couldn’t help the cry that escaped him as his chest throbbed in pain, someone took his face in their larger hands.

“That’s it, breathe, deep breaths. Come on, stay awake lad” Óin’s voice rumbled close to his ear. The dwarf let go of his face and turned to Gandalf. “Keep him with us, Gandalf.”

Gandalf’s face appeared in Bilbo’s blurred vision as the wizard held his arms tightly. “Fight for us, Bilbo. Come on. You must fight it. Think of Thorin! The blasted dwarf is always late, isn’t he?”

But Bilbo was so tired, so very tired. His body ached, his head throbbed, and he felt as if he were being pulled in a thousand different directions.

The world around him blurred again, and he felt himself beginning to drift. “I’m tired… Gandalf,” he whispered softly, his eyes fluttered as he tried to keep awake.

Gandalf held him tighter. “No! No, no, no, hold on, Bilbo. Hold on!” He glanced over his shoulder, panic flickering in his eyes. “Óin!”

But it was too late. The darkness came again, enveloping Bilbo in its cold, endless embrace. And it was horrible.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

Note:

I’ll be editing chapter 5 if you need me. Have a good day/night.

@m4yh4ps @bllbabaggins

#the hobbit #bilbo baggins #fanfic #the hobbit bilbo #bagginshield #the hobbit thorin #thorin company #thorin x bilbo #lord of the rings #fíli durin #kíli durin #lady dís #dwalin #nori #óin #thorin oakenshield

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