#Except Dream being slightly taller

[piou-piou-noir]

Happy Cream day

Sorry I’m late TwT

Thank you @zu-is-here for the #Cream day !!

Find Zu’s original #LightCream comic I shamelessely borrowed here

I decided to ignore canon and made Dream older (sorry) éwè

Cross belongs to Jael Peñaloza

Dream belongs to Jokublog

[from-izzy]

[00:05] | nct mark lee

"You're not behind," it prompts the grip on his forearm to tighten, "but you are tired and you deserve to rest now."

pairing » nct mark lee x gn!reader (fast proofread once - lmk if i missed anything!)

trope/au » established relationship au!, non-idol au!

genre » maximum hurt and comfort because i need someone to do this for me AND IT'S EXAM SEASON FOR MEJSDKFJHDF, mwork is a fluffy boyfriend in these angst times, mark holding you tight and telling you that everything is fine, boyfriend mark lee concerned for your wellbeing, mark letting you rest against his chest

word count, estimated reading time » 1707, ~6 mins

warnings (lmk if i missed anything!) » reader is stressed with academics, reader hasn't slept in a while, mark implied to be physically bigger and taller

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 nct dream masterlist🤍 'especially to you...'

HEYYYY HIIII! double update in a month which is very rare for me now 😭 and thanks for beta-ing a long time ago @sohnric !!

i def still love writing but life commitments can get heavy sometimes 🥹 and with that, this one is for everyone who is in exam prep or just having a hard time academically but also just anyone who needs comfort right now! good luck on your studies and commitments everyone! you can do this!! 🫂

with that being said, my first exam is tomorrow and i am tired-

Literally from the side, you hear the door creaking open, the click of its button free from the metal that houses it on its frame. As always, you choose to ignore it even though your heart drops slightly closer to your stomach. You don't dare to tear your eyes away from the document on your screen, choosing to look at the scorching white with your tired, slightly red eyes.

He called out for you but the only thing he's greeted with is your fingers rapidly against your keyboard. Mark is no longer surprised by your dismissive actions, sighing when it seems like the rhythm becomes faster. 

Slowly, he approaches your study area, a folded finger rubbing against his eyes in an attempt to blink the tiredness away even if it's just for a little bit. When he's close enough to see what you're working on, he can't help but feel proud of your progress. The title of the document takes him back to just a few days ago when you were crying to sleep in his arms, telling him about how you have no idea and that you have hit a wall in the upcoming assignment that seems to be due so soon. 

In reality, it isn't due for two more months, but it's the weighting of the assignment that has you pondering if you can really bear the burden of sleeping when forty per cent of your grade depends on this one paper.

But seeing your hair messy with an overused coffee cup not too far away from the edge of the table, he isn't sure if he would just rather see you cry yourself to sleep or see the obvious dark shadows surrounding your eyes. What he does know right now though, is that you should just rest your whole body after depriving yourself of a whole twenty-four hours with no sleep—slightly more than that now actually.

Mark arrives behind you, the front of his oversized shirt hitting the backseat of your study chair. His arms fall onto your shoulders, slowly massaging your tension away.

"Dinner?" He tests the topic first, genuinely not knowing if you have eaten today as he was busy outside the house.

You respond with a hum, "I promise, I had it." The typing didn't cease as you continued to speak to him, "Go back to bed, Markie."

If only you could turn back to see the face he makes at your dismissive answer. "Can't," he answers simply for now. "Not when I know that you’re out here tired and sleepless."

You know that this is his way of pulling you away from the technology that is keeping you up but you decide to stand your ground, "Just a bit more."

"That's what you've been saying the past half day, bubs." 

The specific timeframe is what made your fingers freeze and you tuck all your fingers into your palm except for two, scrolling up towards the start of the document. Reality suddenly sinks into you when it doesn't feel like you scrolled up a lot, but the grey bar on the right side of the screen shows that you reached the top of the document. The wave of exhaustion finally hits and your eyelids suddenly fall instantly. Mark immediately encircles his arms around you, pulling your back to rest against his chest.

It doesn't take him another second to realise that you're silently sobbing in his arms, upper body trembling in shame and disappointment with how time has passed yet no real effort is physically seen to the real world. Mark presses multiple kisses on the top of your head, tightening his hold and whispering words of comfort. 

"Mark..." You decide to bury your eyes into Mark's arms, the salty liquid trickling down the safety of his arms. "It feels like time is mocking me right now..."

You've always felt this way. Indeed, time will never wait for anyone or anything, yet as humans, it's ironic that we always wait for the right time. It's annoying and it's infuriating to see the long hand of the clock easily circle while you just sit still and watch it happen. 

Mark pulls away only slightly, pulling your seated body out from the table so that he can spin you around to physically put your work behind you. He then kneels in front of you, his hands enveloping yours on top of your lap. 

He doesn't say anything at first and doesn't even dare to fully let go of you even when he wipes your tears away from your cheeks. Mark just offers you a smile with the crease between his eyebrows evident, letting you cry out your feelings a little bit more.

"You're doing so well," he affirms his thoughts out loud. "You don't give yourself enough credit for that, so I'm here to remind you every time."

And he does. 

Mark Lee has always been great at that even when you were both still friends. You were worried that he only did it when you were both still in the flirting stages too, but four years with Mark Lee and he still says the words sincerely and truthfully. In your darkest times, that's all that you need.

Your legs push your bottoms to the edge of the seat and you practically slump into Mark's embrace as you push the seat rolling away behind you. Your arms swing around Mark's neck for stability, hiding your cries in the crook of his neck. 

"I'm tired, Mark..." suddenly the ground felt wobbly, your knees giving out to keep your posture somewhat upright in his hold, “and I feel so dumb.”

Mark quickly refutes with a series of firm shaking of his head, craning his neck just slightly enough to kiss the trail that your tears leave on the apple of your cheeks. You whimper against the touch of his lips and you hate that you’re worrying the person who has proven to you over and over again that he loves you to the moon and back. His black hair fell over his eyes but it’s not hidden enough for you to miss the reassuring glimpse that his orbs gazed you with. 

"Your past achievements prove you otherwise as well and I promise you that you’re not.”

And he really means that. 

Your tiredness is physically shown further by the way you slump over his figure on the floor. Your knee isn't even supporting you on the ground anymore, slipping you further away from him as the fabric of your longer pants helps you slide on the polished floor to bring you closer to your boyfriend.

Mark supports your weight against his, untucking his legs from under him and spreading them beside your figure. Slowly and gently, he turns you around and sits you properly on the squared patterns. Similar to before, he makes you rest your head against where his heart beats calmly while he leans backwards slightly so that you're more comfortable in his arms around your middle. Your fingers stiffly grip his forearm, mind still clouded by the next paragraph of your work and Mark picks this up. 

His eyes drift up to the black font against the white electronic paper. "Tell me the next one." Referring to the idea of your work. 

He does this often, repeating the main ideas of your work so that he can store them inside his long-term memory. This way, he can tell it to you tomorrow. His love transcends forgetfulness, his mind jotting down all the main points so that you don't have to go back to doing work without sleep inside your system any longer. Mark gently sways his upper body and the weight of your eyelids becomes more apparent from the hum he lets out. 

"But I just don't think I deserve to rest." It feels like the world is too active for you to do so. "I feel like I'm behind all the time."

"You're not behind," it prompts the grip on his forearm to tighten, "but you are tired and you deserve to rest now."

That's all the validation you need. You just needed to hear someone say, with a mellow voice and the beating of their heart that contrasts your erratic ones, that it's alright for you to rest, even if it's for a while. The affirmation that you're doing well is gratefully received, but you just needed someone to tell you that your eyelids can fall for the next few hours on a well-deserved mattress, in a safe place.

Next, your voice box finally releases the tension to the air and Mark Lee alternates between kisses to the side of your face and whispers to the shell of your ear all the words that would make the tension around your body fade.

That's the thing about Mark Lee. He would let you cry it out audibly, not like the ones you would bury your entire face to your pillow, suffocating and gasping for air as you tried to keep the weight on your shoulders to yourself when you were still living alone.

The tears from your eyes are valid and so did the sobs that did the same from your lips. The world blurs due to the remnants of some of the stubborn ones that didn't drop to your tear-stricken cheeks—but it's fine because Mark would always turn his head to you, the side of his fingers brushing on your lower lid, careful to not hurt the orbs that he finds love and security in.

Mark still holds you close throughout the whole time, eventually seeing how your chest gradually decreases its frequency in taking deep breaths. 

Exhausted and spent, you managed to whisper, "Thanks, Mark." It's croaked and easy to miss if it wasn't for the proximity that you're both sharing.

"Always." His palm rests on your jawline and he softly turns your head, your ear now on his chest. Mark lands a quick peck on your now slightly upturned lips, "I love you."

"I love you more."

Sleeping is easier for him now that the other side of the mattress is occupied and that he can feel your warmth directly on his skin in a well-deserved resting position.

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 nct dream masterlist 🤍 'especially to you...'

tags: @k-films @kflixnet @starlit-network @kstrucknet @haneul-and-clouds

[mikobeautifulheart]

Calling you their girlfriend

When your not actually together (yet). *Not proof read

(Btw use of the word girlfriend and mentions of death and corpses.)

INCLUDING: Megumi and Yuji

~Megumi~

You slowly opened your eyes and started to pull your stuff together. You stood up, not paying attention to the large gash on your leg bleeding out.

Instead you let out a sigh and walked past what was left of Nanami's body, You made your way through Shibuya station before setting your eyes on the unconscious body of Megumi. You leaned down and slung his arm around the back of your neck. Being totally honest you didn't even know if Megumi was alive, regardless you were going to get Megumi ('s body) out of there.

It was hard, he was taller and heavier then you but you still somewhat dragged his body out of there only to be met with Ichiji's corps on the floor. You kept staring at it until you felt Megumi's weight leave you, making you turn your head to see Shoko and other sorcerers attending to peoples wounds.

"Y/n are you okay? Y/n?"

You heard her voice fine but all you did was stare at her, empty and exhausted.

"Make sure Megumi's alright" Was the last thing you remember before blacking out.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"No, you HAVE to let me see her"

It was a familiar low voice, one you were fond of.

"Sorry but she's in no condition to see visitors right now."

"Will she die if she sees me?"

"No but-"

Yeah it was Megumi's voice, that means he is okay then.

"Then i'm going in"

The door slowly slid open and that was the first time you opened your eyes after Shibuya. The thought of Megumi coming to visit you made your head spin (in the good way) even if he did come out of curiosity at least it meant he sort of cared about you.

"We can't just let anyone get in there"

"She's my girlfriend" he said agitated.

Your heart started pumping and your cheeks were pink. No that couldn't be Megumi then, it was probably a dream. There was nothing between you guys other then being class mates. You sunk back into disappointment and closed your eyes so you didn't have to see the imaginary situation unfold.

The room was silent and suddenly you felt a rough hand hold yours, and a gentle thumb rub. Your breath hitched, if it was a dream this feeling wouldn't be so... real.

"Sir, your going to have to leave or i'll call security"

he turned his head, about to say something.

"If he leaves i'll die" You said with a raspier voice then you remembered.

He whipped his head around so fast, confirming in your mind that this was real. He squeezed your hand tighter as your eyes wandered to the bandage on his arm.

"You were out pretty bad huh? Are you okay?" you asked.

The nurse took that as her que to leave.

"About that. I don't really know what to say because saying thank you dosen't really measure up to how grateful I am to you."

"Eh w's nothing" you mumbled slightly embarrassed.

"I heard you outside there, nice save with the girlfriend thing." you said trying to change the subject.

"Yeah...I guess." He said, the tip of his ears turning pink.

"I'm just glad your better Megumi" You said sensing how unconfutable he felt after your comment.

"Look y/n I-I know were just friends or classmates or whatever you think but I...I really like you more then that."

You let out a giggle

"I like you more then that too."

-Yuji-

Yuji is a calm guy, he's rational and friendly. So why is it now that in the deepest part of his chest did he feel some stirring frustration?

For weeks he's been getting to know everyone at Jujutsu high and you were no exception. Out of everyone he knew you were the one he would hang out with most. Something about your nature kept drawing him in, leave him wanting for more. All those late nights at each others dorms, walks around the city when you finished your missions together and going to the cinema when you both had time off.

You had grown on Yuji and he trusted you, that's why he was clenching his fists and smiling when he heard one of the Kyoto school guys asked if you were busy after the event.

Its not like he had any right to interfere with your friendships anyway, he knew that he was just a friend right now and if you wanted to hang around the Kyoto students then that was your choice.

But Yuji just couldn't shake the torment of the guys smile when ever you laughed at his crappy jokes.

"Ah Yuji there you are, what the hell do you think your doing here!? We were supposed to met at- HEY DON'T WALK AWAY FROM ME!" Nobora yelled as she watched Yuji stand up in some sort of trance and slowly walk toward you.

"Oh hey Yuji, I was just talking to some of the Kyoto students, this guys a fan of movies to!" You smiled brightly.

"Nice to met you" The guy smiled at Yuji reaching his hand out for Yuji to shake.

"You to, so y/n tells me you like movies?" Yuji put on an innocent grin.

"Yeah, bit of a film expert actually." he chuckled looking at you.

"Wow, must be nice I don't usually get the story first time round, luckily my smart girlfriend rants to me about it after." Yuji said with a checkmate look on his face.

"Honestly sometimes I zone out but I like letting her pretty lips run, its music to my ears."

You felt your face heat up, there's a chance Yuji made a mistake- he couldn't have possibly just called you his girlfriend, right?

"Honestly I must be the luckiest man alive because y/n is was out of my league."

The Kyoto student also turned red. All he could do was mutter a 'yeah' and walk away dissapointed.

Yuji stood there grinning before thinking abut what he had actually done. What a jerk he though.

Suddenly he felt an arm link onto his making him look down surprised.

"I'm so glad to have such a lovely boyfriend too." You said smiling brightly.

"S-sorry y/n I don't know what got over me haha..." He trailed off hoping the earth would swallow him whole.

"Well maybe if you take me to the cinema tonight I'll forgive you."

He turned his head back to you and beamed.

"Your going to have to explain it to me after though."

THANK YOU FOR READING ♡

AUTHOURS NOTE: Teheh I think if this post goes well i'll make a part 2. My inboxes are empty so... Reblogs r welcomed. Have a good whatever time.

[ghostingkai]

Not me crying over the Q&A section of the guidebook— the stuff below is absolutely not everything, just the parts I enjoyed the most.

-Oh my god, there is an alignment chart for a bunch of the characters showing “Popular VS Unpopular, Receives lots of valentines VS Doesn’t receive many valentines”. Iori and MIkuni are the two most popular characters (with Lily in close third) but Mikuni is slightly more popular than Iori. Iori, however, receives more valentine gifts than Mikuni (but they are both extremely popular. That’s that trust fund money at work, baby.) Touma is very popular, but doesn’t seem to get many valentines lol

Other alignment charts:

-Housework skills and frequency of chores performed (Mahiru wins at this chart obviously lol. Yumi is second place after Mahiru.) Iori is apparently awful at house work and doesn’t do it often, I’m assuming he has a cleaning person. Touma is amazing at house work, but doesn’t do it much. Tsurugi does tons of house work… but is apparently terrible at it lmao.

-Muscle capability/strength and weight. Hugh and Misono are the lightest and “softest” fighters lol, while Tsurugi is very light but incredibly muscular/strong. Ildio is the heaviest/strongest fighter. Iori is fairly “light” and not very strong, and Touma is stronger/heavier than him by a fair bit. I’ve always wondered about that, so I’m happy to have this chart.

-A chart showing “high energy when drunk” versus “falls asleep” and also alcohol tolerance level lmao. So Nico is the one who gets the most smashed when drunk, but his alcohol tolerance is very high. Touma comes in second place, with Gear and Otogiri in third/fourth. Yumi has the lowest tolerance, but gets incredibly energetic when drunk. Mikuni has high tolerance, but gets really sleepy when he’s drunk. Iori has poor alcohol tolerance levels, but he gets sleepy when he’s drunk instead of wired. And I love that for him… I love that for myself 😭

That’s all for alignment charts!

-Tanaka confirms Iori receives the most valentines gifts, but pretty much all of them are obligatory. That makes me sad ;u;

-Iori plays the violin. Which is not shocking in any way, but it’s nice to have confirmation c:

-Mikuni and Tsurugi apparently have the most horrendous handwriting skills out of everyone by a long shot lol

-Mahiru dreamed of becoming a teacher when he first entered high school ;u;

-Mahiru was 7 years old when his mom died.

-Iori was the one Tooru was talking to on the phone when he and Mahiru met Tsubaki at the sushi restaurant. He was also the one on the phone with Tooru when he was bragging about Mahiru during that one flashback. Which isn’t really relevant to anything except I love how Tooru openly discussed Mahiru with Iori and Iori was just like, ah yes… Touma’s son… I mean, Tooru’s adorable nephew.

-Tanaka confirms Misono continues to grow taller as he becomes an adult lmao

-Misono was 9 when he made his contract with Lily.

-Tanaka talks about how Mikado loves Mikuni, but it doesn’t always seem that way because he was also afraid of how smart Mikuni is

-Mikado knew Mikuni had gone to C3 after running away, and specifically asked them to protect him. Mikuni was in C3 for about three years.

-Tsurugi was affected by “My Fair Lady” because even though he had only killed vampires up to that point, he carried the guilt of having killed someone. Mikuni looked shocked when Tsurugi began to choke because he didn’t think Tsurugi had actually killed anyone until then.

-Mikuni left C3 just before he turned 20, and opened his shop a year later.

-Mikuni and Tsurugi specifically don’t like being addressed by their family names, because… well, you can imagine lol. So they prefer to be called by their first names.

-Mikuni opened a shop because he wanted a place to store all of the magic items he had collected over his travels. He also wanted to put up a false smile in front of C3 to put them at ease about what he was getting up to.

-Mikuni was seven when he proposed to Hokaze 😭

-Mikuni loved Misono a lot and would stop to play with him whenever he wanted 😭 😭 STOP

-Oh my god, Mikuni would force Jeje to perform difficult jobs in order for them to get enough money to travel abroad, where they would then sell magic items to other magicians around the world. He’s such a prick, I love him so much.

-Apparently, Johan showed up one day in Mikuni’s shop and just started doing whatever he wanted and that’s how they met. Lmaooo.

-Jeje receives blood from Mikuni sometimes, but only after Mikuni himself has put it into a container.

-Tetsu’s other sister is a shogi player and her name is Kaoru (Oh, sure, SHE gets a name 😤 )

-Apparently Licht introduced Lawless to his parents as “the demon I purified” and his parents are just happy he’s found a friend ;u;

-Freya feels she gets along best with Lawless. Lawless apparently disagrees.

-Tanaka gives a scale of “mental degradation due to magic abuse” stages.

Stage 1: You can hear people but can’t make out what they’re saying.

Stage 2: You start to hallucinate faceless people.

Stage 3: More hallucinations and memory confusion.

Stage 4: Retirement

She also notes that during stages 1-3, a magician can recover over time if they don’t use their magic. I’m assuming stage 4 this isn’t possible, and I’m pretty sure that’s what stage Iori is at now, since he even mentions retiring in the final chapter. But that’s not explicitly stated.

-Tsurugi’s mom hid the fact she had a child. She left Tsurugi behind after she found another man and ran off with him.

-MIKUNI, APPARENTLY, DOES NOT PROTEST THE SIGHT OF TSURUGI. He is fine with how Tsurugi looks. It’s only when Tsurugi is speaking that Mikuni wants to fling himself into the dark void.

-Someone asked how Akira and Touma got close, but Tanaka only says to leave it up to everyone’s imagination

-Confirmation that Touma had feelings for Akira, and wasn’t the kind of person who would date someone for the sole purpose of hurting someone else (like Tooru.)

-Touma’s scarf is a magic item that makes his invisibility magic stronger apparently

-Touma was angry that Iori saved his life and he owed a debt to someone he deemed the worst type of person. But while he was crashing at Iori’s apartment, he was free to use anything he wanted apparently. Don’t know if that’s info I needed, but I’m happy to have it now.

-When Gear and Touma were staring at each other in that one popularity poll page, Touma was apparently thinking “So this is the werewolf Tsurugi is related to…” While Gear is thinking, “So this is Tsurugi’s brother… that makes him my grandson, too.” PLEASE. GEAR, TRY CALLING TOUMA YOUR GRANDSON. I would die to see that played out lmao.

-Confirmation that when Touma said, “I’ll drag him down!” In that one flashback, he WAS talking about Iori. I knew he was, but it’s nice to have the cold hard proof lol.

-Touma took on Tsurugi’s debts, and Tsurugi pays him back.

-Touma became the vice president at 33. At 33?!?! Holy frick I didn’t realize his promotion from the combat team happened so recently compared to the series timeline. That’s wild. Iori took fifteen years to convince his mother Touma was right for the position (/jk on that last sentence)

-Yumi quit the archery team in high school because he felt he was following the path forced on him by his parents and older brother.

-Miyako and Kei met during a flight. Miyako was really worn down, and Kei’s kindness touched her heart and she quickly fell in love, so from that moment on, she pursued Kei with a lot of passion. I can’t believe we actually got an answer to that question 😭

-Miyako knew about Iori’s real plan the entire time. Which was pretty obvious, but confirmation is still nice.

-All of the Tsukimitsu kids cross dress when they’re drunk 😭 😭 But Iori is careful not to get blackout drunk in front of other people. Bless you for this little nugget of sustainment.

-A C3 agent who moved overseas couldn’t take their hamsters with them, which was how Iori ended up with them, and he just decided to keep them.

-Iori suspected Mikuni could be working alongside Tsubaki when he met him in the control room, but he didn’t know for sure yet.

-Shirayuki met her husband through an arranged marriage and he joined her family. He left C3 early on so he could better support Shirayuki’s schedule. So that pretty much confirms he was a househusband, yes? I think so 😌 (BUT HE WASN’T GIVEN A NAME, AAAAAAAAA—)

-Mikuni didn’t go to college. Shuhei did, and Touma went to college with Iori and Tooru. I love knowing that. I am so happy to know that ;u;

-Iori met Tooru in their third year of elementary school and they became friends after Tooru spoke to him. Tooru would try to talk to Touma in middle school, but Touma ignored him. Iori used to avoid Touma because he knew about Touma’s home life, but after seeing how much Tooru wanted to be friends with him and how hostile Touma was to them, he started becoming interested in him. (Bless Iori for being brave enough to admit his crush started when Touma was the first person to tell him to fuck off.)

-The three of them became friends because Touma was already on the combat team at 15, and when they joined C3 at 17, they wanted to get on the combat team as well. So they all ended up connecting in that manner.

-Working at C3 while a student was easy thanks to flexible scheduling, so the three of them were able to work at C3 and attend university at the same time.

-Iori and Tooru would compete in cross dressing competitions in high school, just like Yumi and Tsurugi 😭 bless

-They don’t typically drink so much that they get drunk. They know the party is over once Iori starts getting sleepy ;u; because he has low tolerance… adorable.

-Tooru likes simple soy sauce ramen, Touma likes tonkotsu, and Iori likes shio ramen.

-Iori, Miyako, and Yumi are all really good at singing ;w; Thank you, that’s good to know.

-In addition to Gear and Yotarou completing odd jobs, Yotarou has an online store where he sells magic clothes and items that he makes.

-Gear rescued a woman (one of Tsurugi’s ancestors) he had become friends with by using his powers to help heal her/bring her back to life. He was afraid what people would do to her/them if they found out about it, so he ran off before the woman woke up and found out what had happened. It sounds possible she had no idea she had been given werewolf genes in order to survive.

[corgiplays]

What if the time travel is just a weird dream?

Red wakes up disoriented with her mom gasping and rushing to her side. Her words drowned out by the roaring in her ears.

"Mom?" Red grumbles rubbing her temples.

"Rosebud I was so worried. I thought this was a declaration of war by Auradon when you and Chloe suddenly collapsed-"

"Chloe? Is she okay? I have to see her-"

"My rose, breath with me. Your Chloe is alright she's being watched over by Chad and Charming. She lost control after the two of you collapsed and had to be sedated for a bit before you two both stayed asleep for four days." Her mom's voice seemed so foreign, but familiar. A part of her was expected anger and coldness, but she didn't know why. "Can you tell me what happened miele?"

"I- you were evil. And you started a coup, beheaded Aunt Ella and me and Chloe went back in time to stop you from being pranked and-" Red cuts herself off, her breathing erratic as she felt wrong.

Her skin was smooth, why was her skin smooth?

She should feel raised scars and her mom shouldn't care for her- she can't- this is wrong-

Why were the walls closing in?

Her throat was so tight it made it painful to breathe, it was like the air was chocking her and there was something cold on her face.

A soft and warm pressure was applied around her shocking Red enough to stop breathing and then being able to breathe normally again. A small part of her was yelling in her head that this was wrong, that she didn't know this curly fur that surrounded her, but a larger more rational and calm part knew exactly who this was, who always comes to her rescue. Red buries her face into the fur, gripping it tightly as she silently sobbed.

Why was she crying?

"Rose-"

A protective snarl echoed in the room, making the voice stop. The warmth shifted slightly to fully envelop her. The weight was grounding and after a few hicks Red feels herself calm down full, a building headache starting.

"I'm okay amore." Red whispers, her voice hoarse as a noncommittal grumble comes from Chloe, her cold nose pressing into Red's cheek while her concerned burnt orange eyes scan her over.

"Red, Chloe." The voice can from her aunt as Red shifts slightly to look towards the voice. Chad and Charming are both in relaxed clothes and clearly out of breath, probably from chasing a panicked Chloe, Ella was standing next to Bridget looking concerned, but relieved. "While I'm glad you're both awake I do think we need a conversation which doesn't involve snarling at our host." Ella's voice is clearly ment to scold Chloe who huffs and puts her head down with her ears flattened. Red giggles a little as her hand rubs behind Chloe's ear.

"I agree with Ella, although I do understand why you reacted the way you did. Do you two feel like you can talk about what happened later? I don't want you to have another panic attack so quickly tesoro so we," Bridget makes sure to send a quick look to the Charmings. "will let you girls relax and understand what happened before we bombard you with questions." With those words The Queen of Hearts shuffles the Charmings, except Chloe out of the room closing the door as they left.

The soft snapping of bones and recession of fur a telltale sign that Chloe is shifting back. Red leans into Chloe's embrace, resting her head in the crook of the girl's neck breathing in the amber scent with a hint of citrus.

"You seem taller than dream you." Red teases feeling the vibrations of Chloe's laughter.

"And you seem softer than dream you." Chloe teases back pressing a kiss to the crown of Red's head. "This doesn't seem real, waking up I was a giant wolf, I never remember being able to do that and then feeling your panic. It was so out of body." Chloe murmurs as she wraps an arm around Red to keep her in her lap.

"I woke up to a loving mom, no scars, and had a panic attack because of it. I think I would prefer waking up as a wolf." Red teases as her finger taps against the back of Chloe's hand.

"So...was it a dream? Or was that our reality?" Chloe asks softly, confusion lacing her voice.

"I-I don't know. Maybe it's Auradon trying to force us to join, maybe we did truly change the past, I don't know..." Red mumbles into Chloe's neck. The crying and thinking of if they are from a different timeline is making her headache worse.

"Don't think herz, like your mom said let's rest and figure this out when emotions aren't running high." Chloe offers, shifting them so that they're cuddled in Red's bed. Red's head resting on Chloe's chest wrapped in her arms as they lay in silence.

Sleep comes surprisingly quickly even though their bodies were asleep for four days. Their dreams seem to try and tell them something, but it's too blurry to understand.

---

This wouldn't leave my mind, so I'm combining my two Aus into one. Enjoy while I try to figure out how to write the next chapter of ODYWS.

Bye 🥰

[monodramatic-cannibal]

Renegade!Nightmare

Info post about the au

(If characters seem OOC ((Out Of Character)) it's beacause I'm going off of my own interpretations/headcanons/fandom versions. So please be aware of that)

More info under the cut (Info is subject to change at any time. Info may be added to as well)

(TW: Mentions of abuse, from his past, only slight mentions of it)

(when using Night or Mare, referring to whatever version has that name, but when I use Nightmare I'm talking about both of them.) 

-Jobs in the group: sudo-leader whenever the others in charge aren’t around, scouting and scavenging, anything that requires a brain really, keeping the murder trio/Cross/Error in check

Weapons of choice: sniper and staff that can turn to duel blades, when as Mare anything on them can be a weapon really.

-Head canon voice for Night: ??

-Head canon voice for Mare: ??

-Uses He/Him (main pronoun), They/Them and It/It’s, but really couldn't care less about pronouns, so doesn’t care if people use others for him.

-One of the more smarter people in the group. Acts as a sudo-leader when Sci isn’t around.

-Is able to distinguish what type of negative emotion someone has, either they be mad or sad. But cannot distinguish what type of positive emotions someone has. -He’s always been small, when they were first created there were more positive emotions than negative, leading to Dream getting more power than Nightmare, which led Dream to grow taller. When things started to get more negative though it was quick, so the tree took most of the negative energy power from Nightmare, leading to him still being small, which the tree then used that power for the apocalypse. Night did kind of get the power and height from the negative energy after that, it just didn’t happen specifically to him. It happened to Mare.

-Due to what happened before the apocalypse (abuse from people), he doesn’t really like people yelling, he also doesn’t really like violence. This includes violence on Wraiths too, if he can avoid any sort of violence he does. A lot of it still affects him to this day, but he feels more comfortable with the people around him now in the group, so tries not to let himself worry too much about things.

-Has a soft voice, due to not talking much in his past, it hurts if he tries to raise his voice or talk too long. Is getting better with his voice though, due to using it more than what he did when he was guarding the tree. Will give up on sentences mid-way through them if he struggles too much with it. 

-pretty similar backstory to the og Nm, except he never ate the apples, since the tree caused the apocalypse before that happened. He also looked closer to the og Nm as well with his outfit, but due to the apocalypse he took it as a sign he doesn't have to do his job of being a guardian for the tree then changed to more casual clothes.

Unlike the og Nm he was guarding the tree for a lot longer than him (around 450+ years), guarding the tree long after the og apple incident. 

-Despite him not really doing his job any more he still wears the crown. It’s just something he doesn’t really want to let go of. So he’s rarely seen without it. If anyone asks he just always says he’s so used to having it there that it feels weird without it there. Which is partly the truth. Mare on the other hand sometimes will have it off, due to the fact it's Night’s and people might recognize it.

-Dream and Nightmare are both trained in combat, due to being the tree guardians they’ve both had different forms of combat in them since they started existing. Nightmare’s fighting style focuses more on offense. When fighting side by side they fight in such a way to cover each other's blind spots. 

-His emotional state actually got slightly better when the apocalypse happened, since he wasn’t in constant contact with people harassing him. Sure, a lot of people still hated him, but he only saw people occasionally before he joined the group. Due to being a guardian he had to endure people/monster harassment for around 448 years.

-Originally saw himself only as Nightmare, and only let Dream call him Night, but after the apocalypse and the appearance of his other self he started letting people use Night with him, so he could call his other self Mare, when people use his full name now he has a mini heart attack since he thinks people know about Mare and are referring to them both together. 

-The two versions can communicate with each other via speaking in their head/mind, but the one out/in control can also speak out loud to talk to the other. Normally, Night doesn’t speak out loud too much around people, but Dream and Cross tend to be the ones to hear his one-sided rambles. He mainly lets them hear mainly because the rambles they hear can be taken as him just speaking aloud to himself trying to problem-solve.

-When either Night or Mare is out normally the other may take the opportunity to rest, Mare doesn’t need as much rest as Night, so normally when Mare takes over Night gives him full/complete control so he can sleep in the mind. 

So this leaves Mare to deal with any possible situation they may find themselves in.

Night can’t have complete control, as if he tries to stay in control for too long (he can go just under 2 weeks without switching to Mare) he will start to get sick, and ends up puking black tar/eyes leaking tar. Which after a while Mare is forces to take control as Night will be in too much pain.

-Mare is considered a Wraith, But unlike the simple mind of Wraiths they’re actually as smart as Night (if not a bit smarter) (Mare can also be around Wraiths without them attacking) 

-Both Night and Mare consider themselves the same person. In the beginning it was true, as Mare only had Night’s emotions and memories to go off of. As Mare got to form their own opinions on things it looked as if they were separate beings, but the two concluded Mare is still going off of Night’s emotions/memories. So they still say that they’re the same being.

-Nightmare would do anything for his brother (Dream), even if it means putting himself in danger, he also tries not to let Dream see all the things he's doing for him, as he doesn't want Dream to worry about him

-Night knows not a lot of people like him, due to what happened with the tree, a lot of people blaming him due to it being negative emotions that caused what happened. Even though he has nothing to do with it. To add to this, if anyone is being mean to him for any reason he just tends to be polite to them, most of the time it makes people feel a bit bad for being a dick when he's being so polite back. If he isn't polite, he's normally joking around. 

-Nightmare and Dream joined the group, kind of in the middle of everyone else joining. Nightmare originally wanted to keep on the move, but Dream got along so well with Ink and Blue that he didn't want to separate them, and since both himself and Dream didn't want to be apart either, he stuck around. 

Though he had to prove himself to be useful, given his situation of a lot of people thinking he caused this. Nightmare got along decently with Sci, due to being almost as smart as him, and he quickly got along with Horror. Which is when Dust and Killer joined, they quickly formed a little group together. (Cross and Error being honorary members in Nightmare's little group) 

-He’s aware he's kinda hard to be around due to giving off negative energy, but it doesn’t stop the ones he’s befriended from still hanging out with him somehow. Unlike Dream though due to how Nightmare developed it takes longer for people to feel negative due to being around, so he can be around people, but he tends to give people breaks from himself after being around him for too long. 

-Night does a lot of things for the group, he helps Sci make things for their survival, helps scout out areas (due to being small he can get into places where the others can't), helps scavenge for items.

-The 4 smartest people in the group are Sci, Nightmare, Geno and Gans/Echo.

Normally people don't bother Sci since he's normally quite busy or getting rest, and people don't tend to bother Geno since he's normally complaining and shit like that. Gans/Echo is normally off somewhere or doesn’t care enough to help, so it normally leaves people to go to Nightmare when there's a problem, as he's only slightly easier to get a hold of. 

BUT Nightmare also likes to hide in places to get some peace for once, so he's only easier to get a hold of when he's around, whereas even thou Sci, Geno and Gans/Echo are around they're quite hard to get help from.

-Nightmare acts blunt most of the time, mainly because he’s used to not showing much emotion, only really ever having showed emotion to Dream, so when joining the group he does try to show more emotion, since he knows not everyone will like how blunt he normally is. His way of showing emotions is to be somewhat goofy, and unserious, sometimes though he doesn’t really take much serious, since he doesn’t really care too much. He’s also a bit of a smug bastard from time to time, enjoying being a bit of a rat or just being annoying. He does things he wants to do now, whereas in the past he only did things because he had to but had to disregard the things he wanted to do. He feels a lot more free than what he did, but is still semi aware about the fact he isn’t fully free but ignores that in favor of being ignorant. 

When he does decide to care about something though, he cares too much. Even if it’s going to affect him negatively, he’d much rather care than not care at all.

-Night doesn’t really like eye contact, doesn’t really like how intense some people's eye contact can be. Mare also doesn’t like eye contact either, but unlike Night, Mare’s eye is quite intense for most, so it ends up with the other person looking away before them.

-Night always looks tired, basically permanently having darkness under his eyes. Dream always tells him to get more sleep, but it’s not like Night wants to stay up it’s just he really struggles to get sleep.

Tends to get more sleep when he likes/trusts are in the same room as him.

-Night’s left eye may flash blue sometimes, this is due to Mare sometimes coming up to the surface of Night’s mind to check on him or to check out the situation. This eye flashing has only started due to the apocalypse. 

-Night’s tail doesn’t move around too much, it's normally remaining low to the ground or even curled up around one of his legs. In contrast to his brothers tail.

-Night doesn’t like being alone. But at the same time he’s scared of trying to seek comfort in other people normally forcing himself to be alone. He hates it, Mare tells him to go hang out with his brother or friends, but Night always refuses. 

Mare tells him if he doesn’t put in effort with other people then what's stopping them from putting in effort with him. Mare telling him this terrifies him, he knows it’s true but is just so lost on how to approach others that he just lets himself suffer. In Night’s mind suffering alone is better than suffering pain or embarrassment for trying to reach out to others, and having them possibly reject him.

-Normally gets picked up by people due to being short and light. Dream, Cross and the MTT trio are the main culprits for picking him up. Night doesn’t mind too much, especially if they were walking somewhere, it just means he doesn’t have to walk. He only really gets annoyed by it if he was doing something/has to do something but them picking him up is stopping him from doing what he needs to do.

-Night normally needs to do something with his hands, he normally fidgets with his hoodie sleeves. Or if he’s holding something might mess with that. If he’s standing next to someone he likes/trusts he might hold onto them, e.g. holding onto their sleeve/arm. Just doesn’t know what to do with his hands half the time. 

-Likes cats, when he guarded the tree he never really saw cats, only reading and seeing pictures of them in books. So when the apocalypse hit he got to see cats, and instantly fell in love with them. Even going as far as to have cat themed items e.g. his cat socks.

He’s somewhat scared of cats, despite his love for them. If a cat was to approach him too quickly it might freak him out thinking the cat is running to attack him. Originally he wanted to keep Fig, but realized he didn’t know how to take care of a cat, so ended up giving Fig to Horror. He often looks after Fig when Horror is busy, learning how to take care of her from Horror. Night hopes to get his own cat once he feels equip enough to take care of it. Preferably he’d hope he could get a grey tabby cat.

-Quickly learned how to use modern technology, is often stealing it from buildings to see what he can find on them, has found multiple games and movies to keep the group entertained in their downtime.

-Collects books, doesn’t matter what it is, he collects them. Will also sometimes steal Cross’s manga, might read it, might not, he just wants it.

-

-Fresh and Death/Reaper were the first two to know about Mare, but didn't say anything to anyone. 

Fresh views Mare as another parasite (similar to what he is) so doesn't want to grass on what he sees as a fellow parasite. 

And Reaper/Death sees it as none of his business. As long as they aren’t hurting anyone. 

The two found out about Mare separately.

-Mare uses They/Them and He/Him. Doesn’t mind which is used. Is agender, but as mentioned doesn’t mind the He/Him pronoun. 

-Cross was the third person to find out about Mare, though he didn’t know Mare was Night at first. And it took him a long time to even see Mare in the first place. Cross doesn’t know that Fresh and Death/Reaper know about Mare, so he thinks he’s the first to find out about mare.

-Dream would probably eventually find out about Mare, probs quite a bit after Cross found out. And would probably find out due to Nightmare possibly protecting him and shifting into Mare to be able to protect him better. (Assume when I’m doing any sort of doodles for the au that Dream doesn’t know still, as mentioned he won’t find out till a lot later)

-Despite Mare having all of Night’s memories and feelings, they chooses to disregard the past, and focus on the here and now. Whereas Night is still stuck thinking about the past.

-Mare tires to be Night’s rational thoughts whenever Night’s mind goes spiraling. Mare doesn’t feel sympathy for Night, since he knows Night doesn’t want his sympathy. Mare normally trying to stick to truths even if those truths are mean. 

-Mare thinks Night is stupid sometimes. They want Night to be more cautious about things, to take things a bit more seriously, always telling Night that all it takes is one slip up, either him or someone else slipping up for things to go wrong. But Night doesn’t really listen to that, choosing to live in ignorance. 

-Mare compared to everyone else in the group is a lot stronger than all of them. They would easily be able to take them all in a fight. They’d never fight them though if they could help it. They’d much rather use Their efforts to protect them, even if They had to do it in secret. 

-Night normally goes out on solo scouting missions, which he normally uses that time to let Mare out. Mare actually does a lot for the group, even if they don’t realize that. Easily being able to clear Wraiths out of areas, or going into Wraith infested areas to get supplies from those areas. As well as easily being able to clear paths due to their strength. 

Mare gets some enjoyment from fighting Wraiths, but enjoys fighting the more powerful Wraiths more, since they gets to use more of their power. But is also aware of when to fight or not, since they don’t want to attract the attention of the group.

-Whenever Mare is let out if Night was wearing the crown/necklace Mare will also be wearing them. This also applies to the cat socks too, but due to Mare’s boots they’re never seen.

-Mare always has at least 2 of his tentacles out, will sometimes have 4+ out. It’s rare to see them without them. Mare would much rather tuck the main 2 into their sides rather than up them away/make them disappear. 

-The eye on Mare’s mask isn’t actually an eye, nor does it blink. When looking close at it, the ‘eye’ is actually some sort of crystal.

Kids-Guarding the tree as adults-After joining the group

How they feel about:

Dream:  Night: Dream is his brother, and he’d (Nightmare) do anything for them, even if it means completely disregarding his own safety/happiness to make sure Dream is safe/happy.  He adores that Dream tries for him, either it be trying to cheer them up or just being around him when so many others don’t go near him.  He adores them, but there's a lot he doesn’t tell Dream, since he doesn’t want to upset Dream or make Dream see him differently (e.g. telling Dream about Mare). He feels bad about lying to Dream, but at the same time he feels it’s for the best.

Mare: has the same love for Dream, but is aware that it will take a lot for Dream to hate him, telling Night it’s okay for Dream to know about them, but Night never listens.

Cross:  Night: It’s complicated when it comes to Cross, Night feels Cross would most likely be better without him around, but Cross has consistently been stuck in his side like a thorn since Cross joined the group.  Night doesn’t fully understand his feelings when it comes to Cross, he does like him, but he can sense there's another emotion there, but is confused by it since he's never felt like that before. Often times he tries to keep Cross at arm's length, like as mentioned, he feels Cross will do better without him. He thinks his negative aura will eventually bother Cross, or that he will upset Cross in some way, or that Cross will leave him. Despite wanting to keep Cross at arm’s length, sometimes he slips up and lets Cross in, he can’t help but have a soft spot for him. Night sees Cross as a sort of ‘knight in shining armour’, thinks this view of him is funny since Cross literally is a royal guard. But it’s the fact Cross is always looking out for him either that be physically or mentally. He does appreciate what Cross does for him.

Mare: Doesn’t care to keep Cross at arm’s length, they’re almost as clingy as Cross, almost. Mare is fully aware of what their feelings are unlike Night, so they were the first to show affection (the love kind) to Cross. Their view of Cross is a lot different to Night’s, where Night sees Cross as his guard, Mare sees Cross as a wet pathetic dog. But they love that about him. Mare knew after Night had a few interactions with Cross that Cross was a good guy, he knew that if Cross was to find out about them (Mare) that he wouldn’t say anything. Knowing Cross cares too much about Night to put Night in any sort of danger.  

Blue:  Night: He’s unsure what to feel about Blue. Dream likes him, so since Dream likes him Night will treat him as a friend as well. He knows Blue is a little bit cautious of him, but at this point who isn’t. Doesn’t mind him, but he wouldn't really consider him a friend.

Mare: Only really has Night’s emotions and experiences to go off of, so doesn’t have an opinion on him.

Ink:  Night: Thinks Ink’s weird af. Dream likes them though, and he thinks Ink’s insults are funny. So he can’t really complain much. Ink also isn’t worried about him being around either, he’s pretty sure Ink has no concept of danger. Doesn’t mind them, but he wouldn't really consider Ink a friend.

Mare: Only really has Night’s emotions and experiences to go off of, so doesn’t have an opinion on them.

Dust:  Night: He likes Dust, though he is unsure on why Dust is protective over him. Likes how quiet and calm Dust can be, but also enjoys the moments where Dust is goofing off with Horror and Killer. 

Mare: Like Night, he likes Dust, tells Night it would probably be fine for Dust to know about them. But Night doesn’t want to listen/doesn’t want to risk it.

Horror: Night: He likes Horror. Horror was one of the first people he managed to make friends with, and he’s also the reason Horror has a kitten. Since he found the kitten and ended up bringing it back, in which Horror quickly grew attached to it so ended up taking Fig.  Horror can be relatively calm half the time, so Night hangs out with him often.  He also is one of the few people who knows that Horror is also a murderer. 

Mare: Like Night, he likes Horror, tells Night it would probably be fine for Horror to know about them. But Night doesn’t want to listen/doesn’t want to risk it.

Killer:  Night: He likes Killer, finds him funny, but also feels drained after a while of interacting with him, since Killer is quite hyper. He has to remind Killer often to get something to eat/drink, as Killer never realizes when he needs to eat/drink. He knows despite Killer acting like an idiot most of the time Killer is actually smart and observant.   

Mare: Like Night, he likes Killer, tells Night it would probably be fine for Killer to know about them. But Night doesn’t want to listen/doesn’t want to risk it.

Error:  Night: He can get along with Error, but Error has his moments where he just hates everyone. So tends to give Error space and only hang with him when Error comes to him.  He’d consider Error a friend, but the term friend is used loosely here.

Mare: Doesn’t mind Error, but is also unsure on what to think about him, not fully being able to figure out what Error is about. Does appreciate that Error tends to be nice to Night though.

Lust:  Night: Considers Lust one of his best friends. Finds it super easy to talk to Lust, though he does keep a lot of stuff to himself and doesn’t really talk much about things relating to himself with Lust. Lust most was the one to tell Night that he (Night) probably has feelings for Cross, after Night talked vaguely about how he feels about Cross with Lust. Dream also gets along with Lust, so that feels like a plus to him. 

Mare: Appreciates the fact Lust helped Night realize his (Night’s) feelings for Cross. Also likes the fact that Night has someone he can open up too, even if it’s only a little bit. 

Fell/Edge:  Night: Doesn’t get along with him, but is polite with him. When Red gets mad at him, he just stays polite which normally makes Red back off due to feeling bad that he's basically getting pissed at some dude who is just trying to be nice to him.

Mare: Thinks Night needs to put him in his place. Doesn’t like him, and often makes comments in Night head when Fell is around, normally making Night nearly laugh about it.

Geno:  Night: Doesn’t get along with him, but remains polite with him. They can work together from time to time to help Sci, and sometimes Geno will ask him questions about himself, but he never really answers any of them.

Mare: Thinks Night needs to put him in his place. Doesn’t like him, and often makes comments in Night head when Geno is around, normally making Night nearly laugh about it. Has also once told Reaper that he needs to get better at killing people because what's taking him so long with killing Geno.

Outer:  Night: Doesn’t mind him, but he wouldn't really consider him a friend. He hasn’t really spent that much time with him to consider him a friend. He knows Dream likes him, so when he does interact with him, he does treat him as a friend though. 

Mare: Only really has Night’s emotions and experiences to go off of, so doesn’t have an opinion on him. 

Sci: Night: Doesn’t mind him, but he wouldn't really consider him a friend. He can get along with him, and he does like how reasonable he is, Sci was the reason Night was even allowed to stick around in the group in the first place. Since Sci knows Night didn’t cause the apocalypse, and due to being the leader he had the last say in the issue of Night being around.  So Night is grateful for him, but still wouldn’t consider a friend. More of a work friend than an actual friend. 

Mare: Only really has Night’s emotions and experiences to go off of, so doesn’t have an opinion on him. Does appreciate the fact Sci gave Night a chance to prove himself.

Reaper/Death:  Night: Doesn’t mind him, but he half considers Reaper a friend. Thinks Reaper bullying Geno is funny, and does appreciate the fact Reaper hasn’t grassed on him to the others about Mare. 

Mare: He’s only talked to Reaper a few times, and like Night he appreciates the fact Reaper hasn’t said anything about them. Is willing to listen if Reaper ever needs a favour. Has also once told Reaper that he needs to get better at killing people because what's taking him so long with killing Geno.

Fresh: Night: Doesn’t really like him, but is polite to him. Thinks he's weird as hell. Thinks his power to censor swears is funny though, specifically when it comes to censoring others like Fell, Geno and Echo.  Would rather not be around him though, as Fresh puts him on edge.  Though he appreciates Fresh keeping Mare a secret, he still feels Fresh has a bad reason for keeping it to himself though.

Mare: Warns Night not to trust Fresh or get too close. Doesn’t really answer Night’s questions about Fresh though. Mare feels it’s better if Night doesn’t know the reason why he tells him to stay away from him.

Gans/Echo:  Night: Doesn’t get along with him, but remains polite with him. They can work together from time to time to help Sci. And can also have polite conversations with him where they can joke about things, but they’d both rather not interact.

Mare: Only really has Night’s emotions and experiences to go off of, so doesn’t have an opinion on him. 

Chief: Night: Doesn’t mind him, but he wouldn't really consider him a friend. Finds how blunt he can be entertaining, but would rather not be on his bad side as he knows Chief can be kinda petty. 

Mare: Only really has Night’s emotions and experiences to go off of, so doesn’t have an opinion on him.

[seiwas]

hi sel!! i missed seeing you around dash - i hope you’re enjoying your lil vacation!

n for your lil game.. if it appeals.. may i suggest touya + rain/storm ?

scar hello!! sorry i've been on and off these past months 🥹 i missed being on here too!! i have been enjoying my lil vacation though 🥺 it's been a while since i've just chilled at home! thank you for sending in a prompt 💗

contains: fallen angel touya, visions in dreams, kind of disorientating what's reality vs not, reader tries melatonin, there is a fire

touya + storm

there's a storm outside your window.

the rattling of string lights on your balcony jolts you awake, the wind howling an eery melody. this weather is common at this time of the year, but tonight, you feel uneasy. you think there's something on your front yard.

your footsteps are light as you make your way down your staircase, the flashlight on your left hand clutched tightly as you reach for the umbrella by the door.

it's zero visibility on your front yard, heavy rainfall being dragged sideways by the wind. you squint, flashing your light at the area in front of you.

a broken branch from your neighbor's tree dangles loosely towards your fence, but you can't make out anything else apart from that. you contemplate stepping outside to get a better look, but a burst of light streaks itself across the sky, lightning flashing before thunder rumbles loud enough that it reverberates in your heartbeat. a sudden chill breezes over you, your skin prickling from strands of hair standing.

your flashlight flickers, the light going out once before you tap it on your wrist twice. and when it turns back on, you think you can make out a figure hunched over the shrub at the far right of your garden.

you flash your light over the area to get a better look but it turns black―your vision or the light, you're not sure.

the next time you open your eyes, you're tucked in bed, squinting your eyes at the brightness of sunlight.

a dream? you wonder. the jacket you're certain you reached for is still right by your vanity, untouched. could be.

your front yard is trashed, just like you expected it to be, if your subconscious was trying to tell you anything from last night's dream. plants are uprooted, with small branches scattered all over the grass. you suck in a breath when you spot the broken branch from last night just as you saw it―still barely hanging on as it dangles over your fence.

you must have heard it break off in your sleep, you tell yourself. the mind can be quick in associating these things.

things become weird after that.

you get more visions in your sleep, mostly when the storm beats heavy raindrops against your window. sometimes, they're the same as the first time―instances of you searching outside but blacking out and waking in your bed the next morning. others, they're stranger, more vivid. you see a man with white hair turning red at the tips.

he comes to you in flashes―in between lightning strikes and thunder claps; in fragments, distorted by sheets of rainfall. you can never fully make out his face, but his eyes glow a striking blue amidst the darkness that often surrounds him.

the melatonin makes it worse. for a few nights now, you've begun to see more of his silhouette, similarly hunched over that shrub from the first night, except it grows taller, almost as if he's standing.

you wake up every time he almost reaches full height. but were you even really sleeping?

your therapist tells you it must be stress. this particular time at work is busy, after all. and, "halloween festivities can be impressionable when the mind is tired."

so you let it go, hoping that the dreams disappear eventually.

but then you find a feather. it's long, far too long to belong to any animal you know of; the color is charcoal black, with its tips slightly crisp as if it's been burnt. you find it by the shrub, where the silhouette crouches over every night in your dreams.

your palms sweat as you handle it, a mixture of anxiety and fear. you feel sick to your stomach; scared and disoriented. what even is real?

you call your friend, midoriya, to keep you company. he's no cynic, but if anyone could think up an explanation for anything, it'd have to be him. he has notebooks and journals full of analyses and theories on a bunch of weird things.

"can you tell if he's... uh..." he tries to find the words, as if trying not to scare you, "demonic?"

though with how jittery he is, you're pretty sure he's just as, if not more, nervous.

"i don't know yet," you admit, setting down his blanket for the night, "i guess he does feel kinda angry, but..." you think back to those blue eyes, trying to discern the exact emotion in them, "not at me i think. i don't know."

midoriya jots down some more notes as rain increasingly patters outside your window. you're sure he'll spend the whole night figuring this out from the way he continues to ask you more questions.

that night, you dream of the figure again, but something about this time feels ominous; larger. it starts out with his face, lightning illuminating glimpses of his expressions. you see scars across his cheeks and his hair turning a shade darker. another crackle of lightning brings him further away, hunched over the shrub again, except this time, he begins to stand; and you're prepared to wake up again right before he shows himself in full height―except you don't.

he stands before you still concealed by the downpour, but his presence is simultaneously chilling yet glorious. and you don't expect it, what happens next―the unfurling of wings right by his sides. they span the width of your entire yard, large and so unlike anything you've ever seen before.

then, an alarm breaks, and you wake, neither in bed nor on your front porch.

your feet touch wet asphalt, the sensation hardly differentiating itself from how drenched you are by the rain. thick smoke fills your lungs as you stand before a blazing house a few streets down yours. sirens sound around you―an ambulance, a firetruck, and a police car, all managing the commotion.

people evacuate their nearby houses as the policemen round them up at a safe distance. out of everyone in the scene, you seem the closest of all, the heat from the fire nearly licking at your cheeks.

"everybody, please step back!" one of the firemen shout. to your right, another one hurriedly hauls a body down to the stretcher beside you. a paramedic immediately tends to the person before you can even catch a look.

"please step back!" the fireman closest to you calls out, but the sound is muffled in your ears, almost by a dull ringing and the subtle sound of wings flapping. an unexplainable urge pulls you toward the body.

"hey―!" the fireman tries to call for your attention, but you ignore him, inching closer towards the stretcher. you tiptoe to get a better look, and as you catch a glimpse of the body's face―

the fireman holds you by the shoulder, "i said―!" as another paramedic addresses you and asks, "do you know this man?"

and right there on the stretcher is him―white hair with red at the tips; his cheeks are an angry shiny red, like its been melted, burnt. he remains only semi-conscious, eyes half-lidded as he is tended to. but when you peer over, he blinks and manages to look at you.

you find the same striking blue.

[cloveroctobers]

RIO/OC/MICK — spring prompts 🦋

A/N: okay so I’m piggybacking off another idea that I still have in my drafts that was meant for the season of Valentine’s Day but…I lost all motivation to write during that time so here we are! Except I’m moving things further along, slightly this time in this piece and giving Mick a bit of a background so this is more mick focused.

Using this prompt list + numbers 21.) weekend trips + 29.) starting to heal & more prompts from [user: @corvase] 1. “how’s life?” “shut up we talked yesterday.” + 2. “you’re still on that?” “still on that..??? STILL ON THAT?????? I CANT STAND YOU???!!!(!;!” 3. “let me know now if this isn’t something you want to work through.”

S|N: Also featuring other characters from a few other shows that make a cameo here or are mentioned such as: BMF, The Have & The Have Nots, + The Cleaning Lady. + some slander on Beth, sorry!

Synopsis: Rio takes a weekend trip to the rural side to revisit a old friend who moved out of the country to further pursue her dream. What happens when Rio brings along open doors for the past?

︶︶︶ׂׂૢ ︶︶︶ׂׂૢ ︶︶︶ׂׂૢ ︶︶︶ׂׂૢ ︶︶︶ׂׂૢ ︶︶

Rio’s never been on this side of the town before (or rather this county) this was her showing him something new. He wasn’t much of a rural kind of person and he knew she wasn’t either but he was already aware that moving out of the country half of the year, influenced this new residence.

It was evident that she had company, with Rio finding two other parked cars beside her’s on the lengthy driveway. He hummed to himself, not thinking much of this as he made his way back to the front of the house, leaving him to think that the Tudor styled home could be featured in a “home alone” film. The man stood with his hands clasped in front him, lightly whistling as he silently surveyed the area around him.

The grass was still covered in frost but it was clear that spring would be arriving shortly, as the leaves on the hydrangeas bush caught his eye. His dark eyes drifted back to the front door which creaked open, revealing a smaller guy with caramel skin, curly hair, a tattoo on the side of his neck, and a blank stare.

He was confused as he pushed the question through his lips, “Can I help you?”

His tone was strong for someone who appeared so young. Something Rio was used to hearing himself way back when.

Rio dipped his head, getting a brief view of the brown almost golden entry way, “yeah, I’m sure you can. I’m a friend of Siobhán’s…she invited me for the weekend.”

The younger man’s eyes went into slits then, not liking the looks of Rio or his purpose of being alone with the mentioned woman, it probably had to do with the own tattoo on his neck and relaxed but sneaky demeanor, which Rio easily guessed his judgments. He could tell this kid was with the shits if needed and Rio didn’t need to take it there.

“That little red corvette yours? Or are you more of a Bentley kinda dude?” Rio tilted his head a bit, towards the back of the house where the vehicles sat, attempting to keep the convo light-hearted.

That’s when the shorter man sized Rio up menacingly, “who’s asking?”

Rio kept his hands clasped and let out a laugh, “I’m Rio man. I told you, I’m a friend of Siobhán’s.”

His lips curled at that, “Whatchu from Brazil or something?”

A smile broke out onto Rio’s lips at that, “Nah, I’m from here, Detroit. Born and raised. It’s just a name.”

That had that in common.

“Meech! Your cuz hooked us up with the good shit, so we don’t got to make this long ass trip back for leftovers.” A male voiced called out as he came up behind Meech.

This one was taller than “Meech,” possibly younger, brown skinned, sported a high-top, rocked some chains, he had more facial hair that sat above his lip and on his chin, and he was lanky compared in weight as he held onto two plastic bags.

He lifted his chin towards Rio, “Who the hell are they?”

Meech sighed as he leaned against the front door, “this dude says he’s a friend of Siobhán’s and he goes by Rio but he’s not from there…and I don’t know who the strawberry shortcake chick is beside ‘em.”

The lanky one was immediately suspicious as he shifted on his two feet, probably thinking about reaching for something. All he needed was the signal.

“I’m Mayor Elizabeth Boland,” Beth cleared her throat, holding her hand out for the two men to shake, “but you can call me Beth.”

“Look…” Meech started as he ignored her hand, “From what I gather, a dude like you who brings a snow bunny to my cousin’s door step ain’t no good news. So either you’re lying about what you’re really here for or you’re plotting and trying to get her involved in some shit—which she don’t need. So here’s my advice: don’t bother her with your bullshit or you’re gonna have to see me.”

Beth was lost for words at how quickly Meech was able to put that together. He was a complete stranger to her but once Rio heard his name, he put it together that this was Siobhán’s little cousin.

“That’s interesting because last I heard, Siobhán only sees you at family functions lately, which is strange since y’all used to be so close growing up…but now that you found new ways to make money too, you’re here at her house when she’s reaching the top of the fashion industry. That’s convenient huh?” Rio gave his perspective just as Meech read him and that angered the youngin quite quickly.

He was quick to grab at his belt making Beth inhale a sharp breath, “Ni—you don’t know me—

“Hey! What’s going on y’all?” Another voice boomed, making the lanky one nudge Meech as he sucked his teeth.

Meech let out a low laugh as he pointed at Rio in understanding. Before he turned sideways to reveal a bulky lighter skinned man, with a thick beard, oval eyes; muscular along with his arm tossed over Siobhán’s shoulders.

“Nothing,” Meech sent a gleaming smile at the pair, “Cuzzo, you got something at the door for you. He calls himself Rio and he brought a tag along that I’m sure you ain’t invite.”

The other man who held onto Siobhán glanced down at her, muttering something to her as she kept her eyes on Rio and Beth. She let out a soft sigh as she walked the rest of the length of the entry way, silently commanding that everyone watch her walk.

“How’s life?” Rio started, while Siobhán approached him.

The cocoa skinned woman with wide doll-like eyes immediately rolled them, “shut up, we talked yesterday.”

Which was true. She reached out to him on a Thursday afternoon to touch basis on when she would be expecting him the next day and she last saw him about a week ago for the first time in six months.

“Hi, Are you going to invite us in? It’s actually chilly out here so…” Beth let out a awkward laugh as Siobhán flicked her eyes back and forth between the two.

Siobhán bit her tongue as she let out a light laugh, her eyes saying just enough while meeting Rio’s eyes. His shoulders lifted innocently and before he could say anything else, Beth continued on.

“I’m guessing Rio didn’t inform you of my arrival…I can just go back to the hotel and let you two enjoy your time together.” Beth shifted the bag on her shoulder, ready to step back.

Siobhán hummed, “you’re here now so you might as well stay. It wouldn’t be very hospitable for me to kick you out right? so come in.”

Some more teeth sucking sounded but came from the man on the right. He didn’t agree with Siobhán’s method but he also didn’t know Beth Boland.

“Everyone this is Rio, a friend of mine.” Siobhán introduced him first before saying, “and his friend Beth.”

“Mayor Beth Boland.” The strawberry blonde boasted with pride.

“Yeah, we heard you the first time, Pippy longstocking.”

“Bryan!” Siobhán hissed, while Meech chuckled to himself.

That was a good one.

The lighter man scanned the room as he stepped forward to hold his hand out to shake the two stranger’s, “I’m Benny, nice to meet ya’ll. How’d you meet Siobhán?”

“Damn Benny, you staying for dinner to hear all that? Because Meech and I are about to slide.” Bryan told the older man who was keen on knowing this information.

Rio smiled, “Siobhán and I met at the park when I first brought my newborn son out in the next two counties over. It was my first day alone caring for him, while his mother had a self-care day and he wouldn’t stop crying until I rolled him out to the park. That should have been my first clue that boy loves the outdoors…anyways Siobhán was out there watching after some bad ass cousins.”

All eyes went to Meech who scoffed, “I know you’re not talking about me. Must of been Terry’s stupid ass.”

“Nah, it was you.” Bryan laughed.

It was actually all three of them but Siobhán didn’t want to burst their bubble.

“Shut up, B-Mickie.”

Beth added, “and we met through Rio…at a much later date when Rio’s son was able to run all over the place with a soccer ball. Just not through his son, however. Through much trickier terms?”

Siobhán didn’t miss the look Rio sent Beth’s way and wondered if that was a jab or not. Trouble in paradise? Who knows.

The raised brows she sent Rio was enough for him to realize that she was going to pry him later on that, for now they just had to get over this whole questionnaire.

“Trickier terms huh?” Benny crossed his arms, making Rio hum.

“Yeah man,” Rio stated, “we’re in business together.”

“You’re working with some mayor?” Bryan asked in disbelief before turning his attention back to Beth, “and what did you do before that?”

“I actually want to know that too since you’re giving me mini van mom vibes right now.” Meech asked, digging into his pocket to pull out a joint.

Rio snickered at that, making Beth carry on with a tight smile.

She redirected the conversation, “Well…How do you guys know Siobhán?”

“We’re family,” Meech stated the obvious.

Bryan huffed, “Friend of the family for practically my entire life.”

“And you?” Rio pried Benny who was staring at Siobhán who seemed much lighter than when he last saw her, not counting the week he saw her last.

“We’re also friends.” Benny stated but the smirk on his lips made Rio believe otherwise.

Beth perked up at that, figuring that tone also meant something as well, “oh, how lovely. For how long?”

“Damn she nosy,” Bryan coughed as he gave the signal to Meech, “let’s go.”

Meech removed the joint from his mouth to place behind his ear, “uh yeah not that this conversation is dry but it’s dry. Cuz, you seem comfortable with Rico suave and Mayor Beth so we’re gonna hit the road, we got some business to tend to.”

“Oh, okay. Let me walk you out.” Siobhán carefully spun in the entry way, leading the two boys away, she embraced them each at the door, lightly warning them to, “be good and to say hello to everybody else except cousin Charles.”

Meech snorted as he pulled away from embracing the girl, “you’re a trip, you know that?”

“I mean that.”

“I know you do.” Meech had his eyes burning on the back of Rio’s frame as he kept up the conversation with Beth and Benny, “if things get out of hand—

“They won’t.”

“You sure? I don’t know what they’re into but you don’t need to get wrapped up in their white collar shit. They’re gonna ruin your life when you’re already at the top and you don’t need nobody fucking with that.” Meech kept his voice low, however he wasn’t scared if anybody did hear this.

He already said his peace at the front door.

Siobhán smiled, “I appreciate you but there’s nothing to worry about. All I care about is mostly wedding attire…not the activities y’all like to get involved in.”

“So he is on that illegal shit too?” Bryan whispered-yelled at he got back in the conversation, “like what?”

“Dont worry about it,” Siobhán was firm, “I said I wanted you two to stay out of trouble.”

“Trouble can also lead to success tho, big cuz.” Meech winked while she scoffed, “let your friends know we may or may not be in touch soon.”

Siobhán gripped the twenty year old’s shoulders steering him away, “Bye Meech.”

“So you’re gonna kick your family out but not Bethany? I see how it is.” Meech joked before calling out, “Catch you later, Benny!”

Siobhán turned just in time to be engulfed by Benny himself, “I’m actually going to head out too unfortunately. I have a early morning at the shop tomorrow but I’ll be checking on you.”

“I know you will,” Siobhán gripped his forearms as he placed a kiss on her cheek before exiting.

She carefully watched as the men crossed the lawn towards the back/side of the house, climbing into their cars with a beep and wave as they pulled out of the driveway. Siobhán let out a soft sigh with a shut of the door before turning to the two guests awaiting her. Rio had a smirk on his lips that she ignored while she moved towards them.

“You two must be hungry, there’s plenty of food set up in the dining room.”

“You have a gorgeous house,” Beth trailed off as she followed after the host through a peach-painted sitting room, which contained some furniture, a piano and a huge sketch pad on a easel, “is this the room where you create your ideas?”

“Mainly yes. It’s one of the rooms that has the best lighting.” Siobhán informed as she took a seat at the table, followed by the two others.

Beth nodded, “I sense that. Do you mind giving us a tour later?”

“Theres not much to see, the house is dated and I plan on renovating it.”

“That’s a lot of work for one person.”

“I like keeping busy, I’m sure you know how that is.” Siobhán picks up a biscuit, drizzling honey onto it before taking a bite out of it with a mocking smile.

Rio cleared his throat, “regardless, I’m proud of you.”

“And I’m happy for you.” Beth told Siobhán as she reached for the tea pot.

Siobhán and Elizabeth weren’t the best of friends, in fact they didn’t have much of a relationship—which was fine by her. So Siobhán didn’t feel that statement was necessarily genuine. Mainly they were acquaintances that crossed paths because Beth, her sister, and their friend owed one of her best friends money and couldn’t cut ties with him. Elizabeth got a thrill out of this lifestyle and to learn that she was a mayor in the next two counties over was another power trip the housewife did not need.

Yet Rio still wanted her around.

Even when she put a bullet in him and she got one in return by someone Siobhán shared a personal relationship with.

However she knew when things needed to be let go of but she couldn’t say the same for her dear friend, Rio.

The doorbell chimed through the house making the thirty-two year old get to her feet. She figured it must have been one of the boys who forgot something. Which she kicked herself for as she yanked open the door to see Mick and a long haired Annie standing at her front door.

Together.

Again.

What the hell is going on?

“Hey,” Mick rasped, “…I take it you weren’t aware we were coming.”

“What? Don’t be ridiculous! I’m sure Beth let Siobhán know. You know my sister, always planning.” Annie said as she quickly held out a bottle, “We brought Prosecco. Mick said it was one of your favorites.”

Siobhán took a large inhale and exhaled as a small smile appeared on her lips. She held out her hand for the bottle, “thank you. Why don’t you guys come in? we’re having a bite to eat in the dinning room through the left there, next to the staircase.”

Annie stepped in first as she spun around looking at the interior, “sick house! It’s almost like the inside of the titanic with the grand staircase! Perks of being a well-known fashion designer, am I right?” She clicked her tongue, sending finger guns Siobhán’s way before carrying on into the easier way to get to the dining room, loudly greeting the other two in there.

Shutting the door behind them, Siobhán paused at the door, realizing that Mick lingered back, not analyzing the inside of the house much.

“I wanted to talk more at the reunion but there was a lot going on that night. I didn’t want to press you.” His hands were in his pockets but his eyes stayed trained on the woman in front of him.

Siobhán remembered all the emotions she was feeling when she saw Mick enter the hall with Annie on his arm. It wasn’t her place to question what was going on there or when Annie got out of jail but it did send her mind wondering! There was plenty of time for Siobhán and Mick to hash out their old business…once she found out that Mick’s been working for Rio for quite some time, she just didn’t fight to make it a priority.

She needed to create distance and the least Mick could do was give her that. He picked up on that and gave her what she wanted, keeping his focus on what he was being paid to do.

“And now you’re here…at my house…uninvited.” The sarcasm did not go unnoticed.

Mick shrugged his shoulders, “you’ll have to take that up with Beth.”

“I think I will but first…is she gonna pull a gun out on you if you go in there?”

Mick thought about it, “she might. I hear she keeps one in her purse now. It’s not like I’m scared though.”

“Never that…” Siobhán slowly made her way towards the stocky man, “just don’t want to deal with the cleanup.”

Mick blinked, “The place can use some updating anyways.”

Was this the way it would be between the two now? Walking on eggshells since they were unsure where the other stood? There was so much history there. It was sixteen years maybe? since they last saw each other back in 2005 when Mick decided to up and join the marines a month after they received devastating news…

“Jackass.” Siobhán scoffed, walking by him to enter the dining room where eyes set on the pair.

Siobhán set the bottle on the table before plopping down, eyes locked on Beth who gave a sheepish smile.

“Don’t blame Rio for this, it was all my idea. I wasn’t totally sure Mick would be here.” Beth placed her hand on her chest in sincerity.

“I wasn’t sure if I would be here either since there’s this thing called range on this ankle monitor but Mick found a way around that so… shout out to you, mick!” Annie beamed as she popped grapes into her mouth.

Rio had his mouth pressed in his hand, not entirely agreeing with whatever Beth’s approach was.

Siobhán laughed, “you have a lot of nerve showing up here when I didn’t personally invite you and you also felt like involving two other people. Will Ruby be showing up too?”

“She’s in Nevada, so no.” Annie chatted.

Beth sat up straight, “yet she knows everything and will always know what’s going on.”

“So tell us Beth, what is going on?” Mick asked.

Beth glanced at Rio, which annoyed Siobhán.

“Well as the new mayor…I have a proposal for you. I’ll need some new attire for press conferences and events I’ll have to attend; also for my daughter and Annie too.”

Annie raised her brows at this.

“Mick has some business with a french man that you’re friendly with that can help with the shipping process.” Beth continued.

Siobhán folded her arms as she listened to Beth poke around the point of this conversation, “not only are you imposing but you’re also asking me to make clothes for you and your family but want me to get involved with some French man? Why?”

“You spent half of the year in France so it only makes sense that we expand the business.” Beth got excited as she talked.

“Business that you have with Rio?” Siobhán confirmed, “so what does a mayor really want from the French man and my designs?”

Beth rambled, “We need more funding of course. I have to be a successful mayor so that I can continue running and making this the best damn town ever.”

Siobhán failed to cover her laugh, letting out a cackle at the pure audacity of Beth that Rio and Mick thought she snapped. Once she got herself together, she wiped at the tears at the corners of her eyes.

“So let me get this straight, Beth. You ran this idea by one of my friends…which I’m sure he told you that you needed to find someone else to do it. Then you reached out to someone who used to be his right hand man, which so happens to be Mick and also has deep history with me to what? Persuade me? Because we know the same French man who also does illegal shit? Because I’ll be weak in the knees and take Rio and Mick’s word over yours? I’ll trust them? And then to have your baby sister back in your bullshit when she’s fresh on house arrest?! Whew!! you are a whole new level of a selfish cocky bitch.” Siobhán declared all of this to the older woman with a wicked smile.

She reached for the bottle, getting to work on the top as she awaited for someone to say anything else to her.

Beth swallowed as she looked at all the faces in the room, Annie shook her head at her sibling, not knowing this was her intentions on being here.

“Go on, tell us more on how you plan to fuck up my life since yours continues to spiral and you don’t even see it.” Siobhán encouraged as she poured the Prosecco into a teacup.

Beth pulled the sleeves down to her blazer, “I…believe with your sketches sent over to the French man, he’ll send the product back to us, we’ll wear the final product, make profit with a resell and do the whole money-switch-a-roo and give the French man his percentage back.”

“And when he comes after us, that’s when Rio and I come in.” Mick summarized what Beth didn’t say.

“Yes. We send him a little money to make the product, Give it some exposure, resell it, pocket the money for ourselves and the fake money goes to whatever I need to purchase to keep Detroit functioning. Everybody wins.” Beth explained in a chipper tone.

Annie let out a low-whistle, “that’s risky.”

“Oh and there’s also one more thing.” Beth kept on going, “Dawn Roslyn Parker wants in on it. We ran into each other at a conference yesterday and she says she actually loves your designs.”

“Huh? You didn’t say a thing about her.” Rio quizzed, knowing the heated stares from Mick and Siobhán were fair.

Rio was also in attendance as Siobhán’s plus one for her high school reunion last week, so he saw Dawn just for who she is with what she pulled. It was clear she was going overboard on poking the bear and hornets nest.

Beth rushed out , “she only wants a small cut. I’ve got it handled.”

“No, the problem is you think you do.” Mick shook his head, now taking a seat beside Siobhán.

“What do I look like working with the woman who used Mick and I’s dead daughter and her dead sister, who was my friend that she murdered out of jealousy! at the reunion for a slideshow presentation as a way to credit her revamped ways? And Why would I ever work with you? The woman who wants to take advantage of anyone to get ahead? Y’all are not my type of people.”

“Well that’s funny…” Beth almost puffed up her shoulders, “you don’t seem to mind Rio or Mick or even your family members…Meech and Bryan or B-Mickie was it? I’m still trying to figure out what Benny is into, besides you.”

Her eyes flicked to Mick’s then, almost seeking a reaction.

He simply didn’t give her the satisfaction.

“Beth Boland,” Siobhán leaned forward at the table, “I’m going to tell you this only one time since you seem to misunderstand me. I will never stoop to your conniving level of mixed up version of success that you’re looking for. You’ll never be happy that way. I am in my healing era and I’m not going to allow you to disrupt that so…You’re gonna take your things and exit the premises with your bullshit, before I have to get out of character and put a split right in between those pretty eyes.”

Annie gasped, appearing shook at Siobhán’s unexpected words.

Beth held Siobhán’s stare for awhile. It’s not like she didn’t think she was capable, despite the whole whimsical aura and poised persona she had going on. After all she was connected to Rio and Mick so that had to mean something right?

“Okay,” Beth was bubbly as she pushed back from the table, “Time is ticking and the offer expires by Sunday so if you change your mind, I’m sure you know where to find me. Come on, Annie.”

Annie sighed, “I didn’t get to enjoy this meal, Beth.”

“I’ve had better.”

“Not with your weekly unseasoned prep meals. Be forreal, girl.” Siobhán fanned her hand at Beth who just rolled her eyes with a snicker.

“Annie!” Beth called over her shoulder again, not wanting to do the walk of shame solo.

Annie grumbled to herself, scrapping the chair back as she met Siobhán’s stare, “sorry about Beth she’s—Beth. Do you mind if I take something to go?”

Rio rubbed at his face in aggravation, “just go tinker bell.”

Annie shoved some items into her coat sleeve and into her jean pockets muttering to herself, “tinker bell is a new one, is it because I decided to grow my hair out? Don’t know if i like that one, Ree-Oh!”

Once the front door slammed shut, the three sat in the warm dining room in deafening silence.

“You knew she was gonna bring that shit here when Siobhán has a lot to lose. What sense did that make?” Mick started the conversation, which surprised Siobhán—she couldn’t lie, since Mick was usually the sit back and watch type before or if he said anything.

“I think Elizabeth is at a level that can bring in better business for me. Us. If I would have known that you knew this Frenchman too, Mick, I wouldn’t have went along with this.” Rio admitted.

Siobhán snorted, “so you didn’t turn down this stupid idea for the sake of your so called best friend? Yikes, Rio.”

“I had your interest at heart too. Success looks different for everybody and when we all pulled it off, you’d be better than you are now.” Rio gave his perspective.

Siobhán rubbed at the tension in between her brows, “By having a target on my back? Something about her doesn’t have you thinking straight. The Rio I know wouldn’t want my hard work to be jeopardized…unless you’re desperate because if that’s it, you would have talked to me first, privately or you’re really being controlled by Beth.”

“I don’t get controlled by anything. I run this. I’m watching her do her thing from the side lines. She came up with the idea, I just wanted to see how well she executed it.”

“With no regard for my well-being?”

“Of course. I wanted to see how far you’re willing to go to keep things clean too.” He pressed his hands together.

Siobhán fired back, “is everything a test to you? Is it all tactical for you?”

“Nah, that’s just life. Look ma, I don’t mean to disrespect you—

“Too late for that,” Mick commented, resting his elbows on the table as he stared at Rio.

Who sent him a mean side-eye.

“You just have to be ready for these situations. Like how you met with…what was her name, you know her since you met up with her first husband right mick?” Rio tried to rope Mick in who puffed out a laugh in irritation.

What was he talking about?

Mick rubbed at his thick beard and sighed as he glanced at Siobhán who was frowning, “I met with Arman Morales who was with or still currently with—I don’t know their situation— a client that you worked with. Nadia. Nadia Morales. You created a piece for her and in return she gave you a significant sum of money and some jewelry right?”

“Where do you think that dirty money and emerald came from? She runs a casino doesn’t she?” Rio quizzed, “you may run a clean business but not a lot of people do. She’s one of us.”

Siobhán shouldn’t ask how they knew this because of course they had ways. Rio was supposed to be her friend and Mick was her past yet they were keeping tabs on her every move. Some might find themselves secure with that but Siobhan’s always been her own woman.

“So you can snoop around in my business but you couldn’t speak to me six months ago?” She grilled the man to the left her, first.

Mick licked his bottom lip, “you’re still on that?” He replied.

Wrong choice of words.

“Still on that?” She repeated louder this time with a scrape back of the chair as she placed the bottle she was cradling back on the table, “Still on that?! I can’t stand you!”

And walked off from the dining room.

“See what you started? You and Beth just dump everything on everybody else and expect people to go along with it when you know that’s not Siobhán.”

“Careful, now. You’re starting to sound like Nick.” Rio taunted as he nudged his chin outwards, “Siobhán’s a grown woman, she can handle her shit. Now ya’ll need to go get closure so we can collectively decide what happens next.”

Mick exhaled ignoring the insult the man threw his way, “You don’t get to decide that.”

“You’re right I don’t but the both of you will feel better once you do. And believe it or not Mick, I care. Even about you too.” Rio pulled out his phone, but held Mick’s stare who scoffed, pushing back from the table in search of the long haired woman.

He didn’t have to look far as he went to the right from the dining room, into the kitchen. Mick peered around the corner seeing her at the kitchen sink, scrubbing away at a pan that sat inside of it. Stress cleaning must still be her thing and he found himself taking a inhale as he went back to the glass door to the dining room and gently pulled it closed.

Silently he moved into the kitchen, actually taking the time to look around it. There was a small hallway from which he came, the first door was also left open revealing the path back to the entryway of the home, the door to the right held a tan almost orange small room with a flatscreen, a sofa, decent lighting, and some plastic containers shoved against the wall underneath the window. It was a spacious home but still felt empty to Mick, which made Mick question how happy was she? Yes Siobhán purchased this home a couple of months before she decided to come back to the states, however it didn’t feel homey just yet.

Maybe it was Mick’s ego but he felt like he had a part to play in that.

He decided to take a seat at the corner island that was built into the wall of the kitchen. He wasn’t sure if he really liked this set up but it wasn’t his place to comment on what he liked or disliked about this home. The dragging of the chair, caused her to stop scrubbing away at the pan in the sink, glancing over her shoulder with the loose strands of hair that framed her face floated with her movements.

“What did you come here for?”

Mick folded his hands against the counter, briefly thinking about how he should answer this. He knew she wouldn’t appreciate any coyness from him.

“You say you’re ready to talk but it ain’t feel that way back then. I gave you the space you wanted.”

She let the pan slip back into the deep sink and whipped around, her hands gripping the sink behind her as she laughed, “what I wanted? I didn’t think you care what I wanted. You didn’t back when I was seventeen, you eighteen and running off to be a marine. I had to hear that shit from your mother and sister instead of you. You didn’t even bother to leave a note or write a letter or pick up the phone and just try to talk to me. You up and decided what you wanted, leaving me alone to bury our daughter.”

Mick molded his lips into his mouth, carefully listening. This wasn’t news to him, he’s known what he’s done. He’s lived with it and he also knew how to numb it down. It was the best thing for him to do before he ended up doing something really stupid. He wished eighteen year old him knew how to communicate better but all he was surrounded with growing up was screaming matches and that’s not what he wanted to do with Siobhán…ever again.

“You weren’t ever alone, you had my mother and my sister. You had your dad and your cousin-aunt Lucille to rally around you—

“I didn’t want them I wanted you! Don’t you get that?! I wanted the guy I created life with to just hold me down like I would have done him. I know losing our girl was fucking painful and it’ll always be…but I never thought you would have hit me with nothing but white noise. Our relationship was never like that.” She sniffed.

Seventeen year old Siobhán and eighteen year old Mick happened to be very vocal towards one or another. They shared a class with each other, goofing off and everyone knew they liked each other but they always had to one up the other. Mick was the first to ask her out but she declined all because she wanted to be the one to ask him first.

“I hear you,” Mick said, “I’m sorry I put you through that, truly.”

“Then why did it take sixteen years?” She was accusatory, “did you know Rio and I were friends before you decided to work with him?”

Mick felt his eye twitch at that. He understood where Siobhán was coming from but his actions had nothing to do with her.

“…let me know now if this isn’t something you want to work through.”

“What, Michael?” She used his government and that was something she rarely did.

Mick toyed with his beard as he spoke what he was feeling, “I can’t ever make up for that time…especially if you’re always going to feel a way about it. I was acting off hurt emotions and I know you’re still hurt too but I can’t be face to face with you if it’s going to be the same story on loop. I want better for us.”

“I can’t keep up with you anymore,” Siobhán placed her hand on her chest, feeling her heart thud rapidly against its cage, “one minute you’re telling me you’re trying to give me what you think I want, then you’re telling me you’re sorry, and now you’re telling me that you’re assuming that I’ll be unable to forgive you, just like that.”

“It’s okay if you don’t, I can learn to respect that but what I won’t do, is take you blaming me for our daughter’s death. I won’t be that punching bag, I gotta heal too.”

Siobhán felt her lips tremble, “I-I don’t blame you. Did you overthink that while you were away from me?”

“…it’s crossed my mind.”

“Well you’re a dumbass!”

Mick chewed on his lips, a bit vulnerable now.

“This is why I wished you just talked to me even if you couldn’t face me. A phone call, a letter. I would have told you that I never blamed you for what happened to her.” Siobhán expressed.

Mick rubbed at his face, feeling the weight of it all circling back around when he’s shoved it away for so long. “Kadene Solina Peraza…she would be fifteen this year. That’s crazy.”

“It is isn’t it?”

“I talk about her often with my therapist,” Mick pinched at the bridge of his nose to get his emotions together, “what she would be into, who she would look more like as she aged, since we all know she looked exactly like her fine daddy.”

Siobhán rolled her eyes, “you know what that means right? You’re the person that got on my nerves the most during the pregnancy.”

“Nah don’t try to downplay my genes.”

“Don’t want to hear anything else surrounding that,” Siobhán rolled her fingers around in Mick’s direction, making him snort out a laugh.

A actual comfortable silence filled the white once stuffy kitchen.

“You should come to one of my sessions with me…to fully close this chapter with some guidance…if that’s what you want?” Mick suggested.

Kadene wasn’t the only one he talked about and he was sure his therapist wouldn’t oppose to this as she already knew the tale of Mick and Bhán.

Siobhán scooped her strands of hair behind her ears as she exhaled, “I’d like that. Just let me know when.”

“Cool.”

“Yeah.”

“So…can we hug it out or is that pushing it?”

Siobhán let a small smile crack onto her lips as she held out her hands, taking steps to meet Mick at the bar stool he sat on. He got to his feet, arms reaching up to lock around her shoulders as her hands crept to latch onto his back. Being in his arms again felt like how it always did, safe and warm.

And if he held on any longer she might have cried.

“I’ve missed you for a long time, Bhán.” He whispered as the side of his head rested against hers.

She did too, Mick meant a lot to her. He’s been in her life since she was fourteen and him fifteen back when he had wavy thick hair, one chest tattoo, and loved listening to big pun, Jay-Z and had the biggest crush on Ashanti…you just don’t get over someone like him.

Siobhán thought about mentioning Annie, not to stir things up but to get that curiosity to shut up. Yet she just wanted to enjoy this moment for what it was, before she had to get in Rio’s ass about this plan to cater to the new mayor.

“What a cute Kodak moment, so everything good in here?” Rio’s smooth voice interrupted, causing Siobhán to pull away and look over at the thin but tall man who leaned in the doorway.

Mick didn’t rush to let go of Siobhán, which Rio noticed as his eyes flicked to the position of Mick’s hands resting on the small of her back.

“It will be.” Was Mick’s response.

Rio pushed off the doorway, “Good, good. Love to see it. Shall we discuss business back in the dining room? Food’s getting cold and I’m getting kinda lonely back there.”

Siobhán sent a look to Mick and moved from his grasp as she roughly patted Rio on his chest, “you’ll survive. You always do. Also just to let you know, I’m starting to regret inviting your ass here.”

“I bet but let’s talk about it,” Rio was all high cheek bones and smiles as Siobhán walked by him, followed by Mick who shook his head at him, “I’m told putting your feelings all out on the table is a healthy approach.”

And so the three sat down at the dining table, facing each other, ready to say what must be said.

︶︶︶ׂׂૢ ︶︶︶ׂׂૢ ︶︶︶ׂׂૢ ︶︶︶ׂׂૢ ︶︶︶ׂׂૢ ︶︶

Continue along with my spring anthology prompts here.

[rattlyglitch]

Chasing an Answer

(Chapter 3 of A Painful Apology)

Silver was confused why Sebek was walking so quickly. He could almost barely keep up with the taller, who had his hand grasped a bit tight on his own. The thing most unsettling about the situation though was how scared Sebek looked. Silver had never seen Sebek scared before except that one time he had hit his grandpa.

But this time had more of an ominous terror to it. Like he was trying to catch something that could escape his grasp if he wasn't fast enough. Silver wasn't sure how long they were running for passing students who were confused by the look Sebek was displaying but eventually they reached Malleus. He seemed to be in the middle of a meeting with the other house wardens. There was no doubt that they were planning the spring event for the upcoming year.

Malleus looked confused as all the house wardens did. "Sebek, is there a reason you've interrupted our meeting?" Silver looked up at Sebek and noticed that he was trying to keep a calm face. "I-I found something on Silver and I'm worried about it deeply." Silver saw how Malleus raised his brow before being picked up and sat o n the table. Malleus inspected Silver's hair with Sebek. He actually thought it felt nice their hands going through his hair.

It reminded Silver of how Lilia would card his hands through it on nights he couldn't fall asleep. Silver felt himself lean against Malleus' hand some, feeling comforted. He let out a happy sigh and felt himself drifting off. "Sebek, I don't see anything here. Are you sure it simply wasn't a leaf." Silver could almost feel the horror and rage radiating off of Sebek. Silver quickly sat up when he felt the hands that had kept him upright removed from his head.

"It wasn't a leaf Malleus, it was blot. It was ink, it was black, it felt cold and death. I felt it with my own two hands. I saw a black tear run down his face. Malleus please you must believe me I saw it. I beg you, please believe me." Silver was surprised by Sebek's own words. He held Malleus' hands gripped in his own with a pleading face. Silver had hoped though that neither Sebek nor Malleus would find out about the blot. It left him feeling terrified that it had been found out.

The last thing Silver wanted to do was make Malleus upset again. He guessed Sebek saw something on his face that revealed he knew something about the situation. Sebek's gaze seemed to soften slightly and he looked at Silver. "Silver, do you know of what I speak of? Me and Malleus must know if you do." Silver shook his head no as soon as Sebek asked. Sebek didn't seem convinced though. "Silver, are you telling the truth?" Malleus asked, looking at Silver with his own concern.

"I-I don't know what Sebek's talking about. I promise." Sebek looked at Malleus as if he was still desperate. "Wh-what if we monitor him instead. I promise I'm not lying." Malleus placed a hand on Sebek's shoulder. "I don't doubt that you saw something Sebek or believe you are lying." Sebek seemed almost relieved. "Then you agree to?"

"No."

Sebek gave Malleus a confused look.

"What do you-"

"I mean no Sebek. Unless Silver agrees I don't wish to scare the child of man any further." Something looked like it broke inside Sebek. "Malleus please just for one night. You can be the one to monitor him. I don't want to leave him alone." SIlver this time responded. "I don' wanna." Sebek reached his hand out to Silver but he simply moved away from it. "But Silver if somethings wrong-"

"I don't want to, Sebek."

Silver made sure his answer was clearly heard. Sebek's face went back to the pleading one he had shown Malleus earlier. "Malleus please. You can convince him somehow that this is for his own good. He's only human he doesn't understand." Silver glared at Sebek; he hated how Sebek had called him human. Lilia had called SIlver that in the strange dream he was having when Malleus overblotted.

"I shall not force this on him Sebek, this is final. He may be a child of man but that doesn't mean he doesn't have a will." Silver was seven but he wasn't stupid. The way Malleus called him child of man though just seemed to make it hurt worse. "We promised Lilia we would protect him-"

"I know exactly what Lilia wanted. Sebek I was far aware of the circumstances of Silver staying."

"Then why are you being so stubborn about this please!"

"Sebek, I am finished with this conversation."

Sebek didn't seem finished though.

"I JUST WANT TO PROTECT HIM LIKE WE PROMISED LILIA!"

Malleus seemed to lose any calmness he had after Sebek yelled. "HE IS A HUMAN WE ALL KNOW THIS BUT EVEN IF HE IS A NAIVE CHILD WE CAN NOT HELP OR FORCE HIM TO DO ANYTHING AGAINST HIS WILL!" It started to storm outside.

Silver could see the green lightning light up the room from outside. He wondered why none of the others had been talking. He noticed though that they were talking. They were each trying to calm Sebek and Malleus down who started fighting. Silver balled his hands into fist and looked down as he felt tears run down his cheeks. Silver took the moment they were distracted to leave the room as quickly as possible making sure his disappearance wasn't noticed.

Silver ran as fast as he could to the horse stables. All the nice kind horses were there. They would let him talk to them. They would hear him out. As soon as Silver got to the stables he started sobbing . The horses looked at him and the nearest one rubbed his nose against Silver's head. Silver simply continued to sob trying to wipe his tears away as quickly as possible.

They were starting to turn black again. Silver kept wiping them away as quickly as he could.He hated when people fought. Sebek yelled normally but never in anger. Never in rage. Silver stumbled onto the ground and sat still trying to wipe his tears with one arm as the other hugged himself. Silver caught a glimpse of something purple and saw the purple bird. Silver swore sometimes the bird spoke. One time he swore he heard the bird say its name. The bird nuzzled against Silver's cheek. "H-hi Mim."

The bird chirped in confusion before flying off of Silver's shoulder and pulling a bit on his hair. The bird almost seemed as if it wanted to lead Silver somewhere. Silver wiped his eyes and followed the bird. The horses whined and snorted in displeasure, clopping their hooves against the ground angrily.

Silver didn't take mind to them though as the bird flew into the forest. After walking for some time they came across a small hut. The bird flew behind a tree and a man walked out from behind the tree. His hair was light purple and wildly curly and his eyes were a bright green color and he wore a purple suit like outfit but he almost looked of student age. He reminded Silver of his Papa.

Silver backed away slightly from the person. "Do not be afraid, child it's me. Mim. I just wish to hear your sorrows child. Then after we shall return and I shall become a bird again. I shall go get some cookies for us to enjoy out here and once I return please tell me what is troubling you."

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14

[zaceouiswriting]

The farmer (1)

Characters: Alec Lightwood x male reader, Sweet Pea x male reader

Universe: Shadowhunters/Riverdale

Warnings: implied death

I know this is an odd pairing. But this idea came to me in a pretty… dirty dream. But as you all should know by now, I have to do a rather long setup before we can move on to the interesting parts.

It was cold in the early hours of the morning. Much earlier than I'm used to being awake. I hadn't been out at these ungodly hours since I hired more workers. But to my dismay, two temporary workers hadn't shown up the day before, as they should have.

Ricko, the Chief Shepard, had pulled me from the warmth of my bed as he had done with everyone else. Wild wolves had killed three sheep. He was able to kill one of them but needed help catching the others.

With a rifle in everyone's hands, we searched even the smallest parts of the property, which took hours. It pushed back all the other work that had to be done. Even though we found the other wolves, five in total, I still wasn't happy because they had also killed one of the guard dogs.

Despite everything, I couldn't kill the trembling puppies I found, all huddled together in their small makeshift den.

I sighed heavily as the bright morning sun shone, with the puppies forming a pile in my hands, carrying them back to the house. It wouldn't be the first time I'd trained wild wolves to be guard dogs. They hadn't been out of the womb long, a few weeks at most, barely finished drinking their mother's milk.

I soon walked onto the main property, followed by Ricko and Hannah, one of the dairy workers.

“Boss!” Hannah suddenly shouted.

She was close to my ear. But I just followed her outstretched finger. In the distance, I saw two men dressed in dark colors near my home.

I felt anger rising within me. “Hey!” I called out to them. Abruptly, their heads turned in my direction. While the one on the left was a well-groomed young man with black hair and dark eyes, the other was the opposite, rather rough on the outside, wearing clothes made of rags, except for his leather jacket, which was in good condition. “Are you two, the last farmhands?”

The two men looked at each other strangely before calling back affirmatively.

Suddenly, the anger I could hardly contain deep inside burst out on my face. With quick steps, I reached them in a few moments.

The two men looked at each other again, almost as if they knew each other, but they came from vastly different areas.

“Do you both have work clothes?” I asked through gritted teeth.

The one on the left looked down and saw how overdressed he was. When he looked up again, a rosa blush laid on his cheeks.

Meanwhile, the other one also looked at him with a grin. “I already have mine on!”

Just as the left one looked at the right one, I giggled. Suddenly, both of them were focused on me again.

"No. No, you don't," I told him, chuckling dryly. "The post explicitly said you should come with work clothes on or in your bags. But I can also see that you two haven't much with you.“

I couldn't believe this idiocy. How can someone come to a farm unprepared?

"Pretty boy."

“Yes?” both men answered simultaneously.

“Left one, you’re about 180cm tall, right?”

“183,“ he answered.

His voice made me do a double take; it was deep, silky smooth. I rolled my eyes in response and shifted my attention to the other man. His grin had reappeared.

“Then you’re about 190 cm tall?”

“Give or take a few centimeters,” his voice was deep and rough.

Both men's voices gave me an obvious problem. As a shiver of excitement ran down my spine, I knew I had to get away from them quickly.

But before I did that, I looked them over again. The slightly shorter man had a smaller stature, was athletic, and probably toned underneath his clothes. While the other man was much taller and not all muscle, it seemed. At least not yet.

Without saying another word, I placed the wolf pups in the taller man's arms, turned around, opened my front door, and walked in, leaving the door open. Annoyed, I jumped upstairs and entered the first of two locked rooms. A lot of dust has already settled in it. After all, I haven't been there for two years.

I tried not to look at anything, knowing I wouldn't survive the day if I did. Slowly, I wandered around the room with my eyes almost closed, feeling around the walls until I could find the closet. Still, with my eyes closed, I pulled out whatever clothes I could find.

Out of nowhere, I could smell something. As soon as I realized what it was, it hit me like a ton of bricks. How? How could this smell still be here? Why must life endlessly taunt me?

Tears began to linger under my closed eyes. Soon, they forced me to open my eyes. But luckily, the room was dark. Even though I felt my body slowly freezing, I quickly ran outside and closed the door. I slammed my body against the door and tried to catch my breath.

I noticed that some of the clothes had slipped out of my hands. The sudden realization made me feel uneasy, causing me to almost fall to the ground. While preparing to enter the second room, I couldn't help but dread the thought of it.

I tried to suppress my feelings again and unlocked the second door. Strangely, the smell was even stronger than the last. Memories filled my mind: So many happy moments with these three. I miss their laughter, silliness, and voices. But most of all, I miss having them here.

It wasn't until a sob ripped from my throat that I realized the dam had finally broken. Before I knew it, I fell to the ground, ugly crying, as all the memories of the past flooded back, which I had successfully locked away. Why are they coming back now?

I couldn't hold back any longer. With the door wide open and me kneeling in the room right in front of a pile of clothes that hadn't moved since the accident. Somehow, his scent still clung to them. I loved this smell, it had always made me feel safe.

For a fleeting moment, I thought someone was standing at my side because it felt like a hand was gently stroking my back. From the top of my shoulder to my side. I knew the fingers would try to tickle me there, which they always did. In their words: “If you laugh, you cannot cry."

It made me feel better, even though there wasn't a hand or anyone at my side when I finally looked around.

I wiped away my tears, went to the closet, pulled out most of the clothes, and left the room. I left the door open and immersed myself in the pleasant scent. Upon returning to the other room, I opened the door, letting it stay open. I retrieved the remaining clothing items and proceeded downstairs.

Fortunately, the two men had come in together with Hannah, waiting in the open living room. As soon as she saw me, her eyes also became sad. She was obviously worried.

I stayed silent as I placed the clothes on a nearby table. I didn't even look at her anymore. “Please ask Jonathan to show these two how to clean the barns as punishment for being a day late,” I said sternly to Hannah, without a hint that anything was wrong.

Finally, I turned to the two men, looking at me uncomfortably. "Right," I mumbled, barely loud enough for anyone to hear, "call Tomas as well and tell him we have new puppies. I'll start training them tomorrow."

I could see her nodding in understanding. 

“I will be back in the evening.”

It took a while, but before I could reach the door, her voice sounded again: "Where are you going?“  Panic could be heard in her voice.

“The lake,” I answered curtly as I opened the door.

She gasped. Which wasn't surprising since I hadn't been there since the day my life fell apart two years ago.

Just as a gust of wind passed me, I felt something strange at the end of my leg. When I looked down, I saw one of the little wolves. Barely strong enough to walk.

Hannah became even more panicked as she tried to run towards me, most likely to take the wolf away from me. But much to her certain amazement, I crouched down. “Do you want to come with me?” I ask softly and gently stroke the wolf’s head.

It even tried to howl. I could only smile. 

"Come on!“ I told it, holding out my hand.

The little wolf sniffed it. A second later, I licked it and then suddenly nibbled on it.

“You’re a cheeky little guy, aren’t you?” I asked, laughing. I grabbed the wolf by the neck and examined him. “Yes, a naughty little boy.”

I put him in the palm of my hand and stroke him a little more. I even set a kiss on his head, after which he tried to get another one by following my head.

Instead of leaving the house, I went to the fridge, took a couple of small meat cubes, and put them into a small container. While doing this, the little wolf cranked his head and licked my hand. He could obviously smell the meat on it. His teeth weren't very long, but they would suffice to chew a little.

Without giving any of the three a last glance, I left the house and headed north towards a forest that was a few kilometers away. I had to go through it to reach the lake, which was located near a corner of my property. Even though the place was gloomy, I still had to go there after all these years.

[Masterlist]

[fearissorrowful]

Ꭵ ᏝᎧᏉᏋ ᎩᎧᏬ… (Ꭵ ᏖᏂᎥᏁᏦ?) 𝚄𝚃 𝙰𝚄'𝚂 [1]

you weren't usually the one for love... but it seems that is nothing but a lie now as you stare dreamily ahead of you. Clasping your hands together as you swoon and sway back and forth girlishly like a loser in love, except you weren't just a loser, you're a loser in a group of popular guys- your friends. must have been because you've never experienced attraction towards humans and instead monsters.

Finding it out- to be real was like a dream. still you smiled sheepishly as you hugged yourself swaying around humming softly, it was weird to onlookers yes but you didn't care not now while you were in your daze till someone snapped you out of it.

"Y/N...? you're doing that thing again..." a male dressed in a similar uniform tapped on your shoulder with a hesitant gaze in his eyes. "huh what?" you shake your head and stare back into his auburn eyes. "You're drooling over dreams BROTHER." He stated, tilting his head slightly as your arms dropped to your sides as a red hue filled the void of your face. "a-ah no I wasn't!" you tried to excuse your odd behavior sloppily as you gripped the ends of your skirt nervously knowing he wouldn't buy such an overused excuse.

He looked down at you skeptically, shaking his skull as your figure drooped crossing your arms as a pout spread across your face. "Com'on Y/N that's so overused. I know you were looking at him." The artsy male tried to reason with you as your eyes meant a soft sigh escaping your lips. "yeah- yeah. I get it, I just can't help it.." you whined. "you get a new crush every month, your basically crushing on the 'KING' himself and all of his gang, you know there no good." He scolded. "I know- I know Ink, this is my bad boy phase I'm sure I'll be over it by next year." you smiled sheepishly watching out of the corner of your eye as the 'KING; himself slithered out of your vision. The male besides you simply crossed his arms as yours came up to greet your own hands, joining them together as a dreamy sigh left your lips making the male besides you shake his head. "come on.. let's go... they are waiting for us."

He grabbed your arm causing you to squeak out a protest. "noooooo!!! Ink please!" you whine as Ink drags you away from your post, down the hall and around the corner, left- right- right- left..and finally to the parking lot. "Y/N you promised Swap, dream and I." Ink scolded again as you finally gave in head hanging low as ink literally dragged you out into the parking lot, concerning lookers and even dream himself. swap however ignored it and beamed tackling you into a rather tight hug. "Haha! Hello to you too, baby blue!"

You smiled patting his skull, he was rather tall- taller than you but you couldn't really be offended when he HAD to crouch down to your height to hug you properly, being picked up scared you when you weren't warned ahead of time, so you gave him props...though there was a few times he would forget and startle your poor soul. You smiled at him as he returned the gesture letting go of you beaming. He was nothing but a gentle giant not as tall as- horror... but still... he wasn't as short as ink..- Ink being the shortest out of all the monsters you've encountered he was just barely 3 inches taller than you... while dream was 7 inches taller and blue being the tallest of the trio. you had been there first human friend here- to your knowledge at least.

"are you okay Y/N?" dream asked placing his hands on both your shoulders gaining your attention as your gaze meant his, his aurora felt so relaxing compared to his brother's... you smiled at dream gently... your eyes softening. "I'm good-" "she was fawning over your idiotic brother again." Ink interrupted, blunt as usual. dream's smile twitched but went unnoticed by your gaze as you glanced at Ink, sticking out your tongue as he did the same. childish antics really. "Y/N-" dream caught your attention as your eyes briefly make contact with his finding it difficult to hold when he had pressed you against his chest as if he feared you'd disappear if he let go.

"yes...?" you answered hesitantly eyeing dream for his suspicious and off putting behavior. he was like nightmare in some aspects whether he chooses to believe it or not. "your too positive for them." he smiled down his eye no longer twitching in annoyance. You tilted your head. "am not." you pouted as ink and swap swooped in. swap picking you up causing you to squeak and jerk in his grasp. "I agree with Ink, you're a ball of joy!" swap grinned as ink nodded. "ALWAYS positive" Ink hummed as swap set your fidgeting form down. your sweat dropped as dream patted your shoulder smiling. "see Y/N, you're BETTER off with us. you don't need to get involved with what they do." dream seethed his smile betraying his tone as he clasped his hands together, slowly you nodded frowning before a beaming swap pushed you into Ink declaring a group hug to cheer up your frowning face.

"hahah- thanks guys...but we should get going, this parking lot is starting to look like a ghost town!" you piped jabbing a thumb towards the cars exiting the half empty parking lot, dream,swap and ink nodding along. "ah yes- i was thinking we visit a monster friendly cafe- maybe ccinos? a good friend of ours." dream smiled as ink grinned. "well- more my friend, i introduced these guys." ink boasted as swap groaned- a rare occurrence for his bubbly nature, however you notice he only seemed to dislike bad puns and jokes as of late- probably hearing them too much. reminding you of the first time you guys meant... smiling fondly at the decent memory.

~Ｆｌａｓｈ ｂａｃｋ~

"Y/N! are you sure you want to go to that- school?" a male voice called out. "of course bro, I'll be fine." you smiled idly standing kicking around dust as a shy smile spread across your lips, you'd always had a taste for the un-normal. "I know Y/N...but them... that school is full of... full of-" your brother paused his eyes scanning your figure with concern afraid for your health and safety. "what...there what..? they have Monsters?" you sneered turning on your heels. your brother sighed shaking his head. "you know what i mean Y/N... i'm just looking out for you." you lower your head briefly in thought. "I'll be safe, promise!" you beam skipping out the door as your siblings gaze lingered on your vanishing figure before down to his own hands with a anxious look in his eyes as he sighed, closing the door after you.

You hummed a light hearted tune as you skipped and ran to the bus stop awaiting for your assigned bus. when you arrived to the stop you noticed a few monsters they looked like an odd mix, one wearily trying to talk to a human who looked rather angry and annoyed, the art-y one was dazing into space seeming to not realize he was holding the wearily golden one in a awkward side hug, while the larger of the tree looked oddly concerned as he attempted to try to a different human only to be ignored. your skip slowed into a jog- than a walk as you approached. side eyeing the monsters curiously bound to approach them till the bus pulled up. The monsters following behind the other humans slowly not seeming to notice your presence as they got aboard only to be stopped by the bus driver.

"Monsters sit in thy'a back." the bus driver spat pointing to the back of the bus- that everyone seemed to be avoiding. the skeleton tried to argue the point but quickly gave up after being shouted at. you smiled innocently as they shuffled into the back of the bus huddling close to each other as they struggled under the gaze of others. you perked up realizing it was your turn to find a seat. many humans whispered back and forth between each other as they watched wide eyed as you drew pass them into the back sitting besides the skeletons you flash them a toothy smile.

"Heya! I'm Y/N."

[immoralimmortals]

A Song With Ten Names

Chapter 44: Kiss Me, Son of God

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Summary of chapter: Sometimes telling exactly the truth isn't the exact right thing to say. After all, there isn't much difference between a public speaker and someone's god; that's a lot of power, changing someone's mind.

Author's Note: The song for this chapter is Kiss Me, Son of God by They Might Be Giants. The fic also mentions the song Ship in a Bottle by Fin. I also reached a lot of milestones on AO3: 300 kudos, 10,000 hits, and 200,00 words!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

I look like Jesus, so they say

But Mr. Jesus is very far away

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The waves are foamy, water so clean you can look straight down to the sea floor. It glistens and shimmers like an aurora, or a pearl, or abalone. The stranger sits on the beach, sand too light and soft to be real, and the wind combs into her scalp, leading her locks of hair astray to reach forward towards the ocean. She has been put here to contemplate a choice.

Two figures are stand far out, close enough to see distinct shapes but too distant to recognize expressions. Somehow, some way, they do not sink to the depths but rather stay entirely above water. It is inherently known that one wears a white ring and one has purplish gray. The silhouettes are in such a position that you cannot see if they face towards her or away...that is, until the taller one raises an arm.

His hand is palm outstretched, just so that from where he stands, the woman is seated just above it. The wind gains actual meaning, not mere movement. It has a direction.

In…

...Out.

She listens to the water sigh as it laps her toes and retreats. Every time she has been here, the water has inched closer. Has she never moved, or is it chasing her, each night they resume their dance? Another lick of the tide...and then back. She wonders what she tastes like, being consumed little by little like a lollipop.

In…

...Out.

The small figures wait so patiently, silent so she has nothing to listen to but her mind and the waves. Washing in...out...in...out…

Her vision rises, and with the wind lovingly cupping the back of her head, it helps her rise to her feet. If they can walk on water, maybe...—

She takes her first stumbling step forward just as the tide pulls back. She sees them, waiting for her. A ringed hand still waits to take hers into it. A jolt of desperation, and she takes her second step recklessly. The tide comes in and wraps around the ankles. She falls backwards, the horizon and the two upon it lowering out of her sight as the world flips. She is about to land on her head.

And then she wakes up.

The one saving grace is that it’s happened so many times that this dream at worst is giving her a cold sweat. She glances through the early morning night and sees the bed. A blue-haired head is facing away from where the girl sleeps on the floor.

It seems even the company of angels can’t even save her. She wonders, as Konan rests mere feet away, if there’s a reason angels are always depicted in art as having their eyes shut.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Now you're the only one here who can tell me if it's true

That you love me

And I love me

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Some things get easier, some things get harder.

For the second time since she’s started owning a house and dealing with unexpected company, the performer looks through the kitchen cupboards and frowns. A small door shuts in on a tin empty except a few grains of dried rice, and she exhales to herself.

It’s been a long time... a long time since she’s been to town. In the very least, it isn’t quite so hard to talk to the Akatsuki leaders as it used to be about this prospect. Or at least, so she speculates.

Upon hearing her request, Pain’s eyes widen ever so slightly; it’s in a way less that he’s surprised or otherwise caught off guard, and more that he is thinking. The woman frowns, looking on with her big, worried eyes and black cape around her shoulders, hands folded in front of her lap.

“...I suppose this is inevitable,” he says, and it’s in such a way that makes the woman blink and curl her brow.

“I can go by myself, if you’d like.” But he shakes his head.

“Out of the question. On the contrary, Konan and I must go.”

She looks askance, thinking through what must be done, if that is the case. “I don’t know how to write, but...I could tell you what we usually stock up on—”

A hand goes on her shoulder, and she stops mid sentence. There's a seriousness about even something so mundane. Why does some simple chore require such...poise from him? The answer is veiled:

“You’ll be necessary for the trip. We’ll leave shortly. Prepare your bags for groceries, and we will meet you on the porch.

Caw, caw.

The blackbird of the barren trees never sleeps, always coos in the absence of the woman's songs. Even as she listens close, there's nothing she's certain of in that melody, besides the strength at which it echos in the trees. She feels like a silhouette herself, right now, standing on the front porch underneath bare branches, simply standing and waiting with her empty luggage by her legs. An exhale.

“There’s something on your mind.”

His voice again, and of course as she turns to see Pain, Konan is never far behind. The door clicks shut behind her, and the leader simply waits to be acknowledged. A sigh, and the stranger tries.

“I figure...this doesn’t really mean so much when you’re used to people judging you guys,” she tries to explain in a roundabout manner, lest she be rude or unsympathetic, “But I...this is the first time I’ve gone out...since...—”

…

“Well,” she tries to continue. “Since the star people came for me. I’m worried about...the reception. Hidan told me that he heard...— I— I’m worried that the village...may...—”

A pause. Then step, by step, by step, the ginger comes down the wood planks and stops on the stair just above the ground, barely above where her own feet wait. And again, again...a hand goes to her shoulder. Why is it so heavy? She looks at him in such a way, hums in confusion, so that he knows that she wants to know, too, whatever wisdom he feels. She isn’t a child; she is grown up, and she wants to be privy to the truth, regardless of what it may be.

A man who cares so very much about the world growing up decides that maybe she might have a bit of a grown-up in her, too.

“That’s why we’re going.”

“...Huh?”

His demeanor stays cool, as if he’s done this a million times before, telling people to confront the bad news. “Your hunches are correct. The village nearby...it does, indeed, know. Hard to hide, you having been there at least once every day at some point, as well as our cloaks everywhere, on the outskirts of their sight. Ninja from Hoshigakure swarm in...and the rest of our story is so painfully clear.”

A tilt of her head, and he removes his hand now that he’s certain the girl is listening.

“The truth is that we need them. They’re the only village that can reasonably supply your home— our base, with what's necessary for its operation. We need to begin making amends to those that worry we’ve betrayed them.”

That...makes sense, she quickly concedes. But that brings about another issue:

“...I...Maybe...you shouldn’t bring me. Then. They already know me too well. I'll make it worse.”

“Have faith," Pain answers, and it makes her stomach drop. "You’re the most necessary component of what’s to come.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

I destroyed a bond of friendship and respect

Between the only people left who'd even look me in the eye

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Different figures stand upon the horizon, as they trail somewhat upward down a road that widens to show more and more use, than what she saw within her dream. Someone— maybe she knew them, maybe she never did— goes from a casual lean upon a lamp pole to an alert, straight-up stance. The woman frowns as he runs away and another stays still, keeping watch lest she run away.

“Takara.”

It's too late to back up now.

Her lips don’t stop pursing when the leader of the Akatsuki looks aside to her, having noticed she’s stopped walking not even more than a single step their cadence of six feet became four. Even in the brightness of midday, he is unreadable; light or shadow, he is a man of every possibility she could imagine. Anger...humor...passiveness...it all could be there. But as she had told Kisame before, ironically enough after taking him to this very town, it matters less what you feel and more how you act. And how Pain chooses to act is with patience. Konan chooses the same, full trust in what is to come.

An inward inhale through her nose and she watches the top of that hill, the little landmarks that make it clear they’re approaching some sort of civilization. Where there was one...now rising into sight are several. They all stand there and wait.

With nothing else to do, she understands that everyone, friend or foe, is counting on her to move forward.

The number of people form a proper crowd, and despite herself, she can recognize the faces. Hadn’t it been too long? Too long since she was at the bar? Too long since she was chased down in the rain in the middle of the forest and became someone else? And because she recognizes them...she knows they recognize her.

And they do.

“It’s them.”

“Yes, it’s them!”

“Who are those two? Why are they always two different people…?”

“What’s she doing?”

The shinobi and their pet girl just walk up, up, up, until there is no polite way to walk any closer, feet in sandals facing worn, closed toe shoes. Konan gives a small glance behind her shoulder, a whisper: “Keep close,” and too scared to respond, the traveler can only hope that Konan can tell she understands.

An older, rotund man with a bushy mustache is centered in front of the villagers, strong-looking hands on his hips and a stern look in his eyes. “That’s far enough,” he says, nearly as commandingly as Pain can speak. “There’s a lot of explaining to be had here. I don’t suppose you’re here for tea.”

Something feels off, and it makes the performer squint. Not trusting her gut, she leaves the speaking to others who clearly have more to say.

“Of course,” Pain responds. “We have every intention of explaining ourselves.”

Whispers, whispers. It reminds her of the voices in the ocean— words she can catch and feelings she hears, but nothing concrete. Distrust, confusion, betrayal.

She grips her hands tight within one another, lest they’re thrown over her face to hide. The old man glances at her, and then he glances back to Pain. “Here’s what we’re gonna do,” he speaks for everyone. What terrible responsibility, the woman thinks. “Yer gonna come with me, and you’re gonna wait until we can get a town hall together.”

“...And what will the purpose of the town hall be?” the ginger asks. The answer is immediate, and no matter how level the head villager tries to be, it is still greatly tinged with a sort of malice, a distaste in his mouth.

“What we’re gonna do with you.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Now I laugh and make a fortune

Off the same ones that I tortured

And a world screams, "Kiss me, Son of God"

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It’s only the muscle memory of walking down the stone paths that allow the performer to recall that this was once her stage, time feeling so distant that each landmark feels so alien. The lampposts...were they always that rusted? Was that bench there, or was it there? Wasn't that restaurant on the other side of the street? After an eyeful of unsettling scenery, she holds her hands together, thumbs nervously flicking one another as the curl of her fingers rest upon the table. A frown on her lips, the woman glances about, recognizing her surroundings less based on her own recollection and more like she saw it in an old, blurry photo. Where the glasses against the back wall always so dusty? She’s not sure that centerpiece used to be there. But most importantly…

The performer turns her head, coincidentally, just as the back door opens and the almost familiar man begins to walk in. There's a glimpse of something that cannot be denied.

...The piano didn’t use to be shoved into the corner.

“A-ah!” she gasps lightly, shutting herself up as soon as the performer realizes Konan has merely bumped her to gain her attention. Step, step, step. A wary middle aged man with caterpillar eyebrows sits across the three, an expression hard to read besides that he too wears a frown. It finally hits her:

“...You’re not Taiga,” she mutters, less to and more about the person who resembles her boss. The stranger shakes his head, and even his voice is a ghost of who she used to know.

“Nah. He’s passed on.” The performer doesn’t get any time to mourn her former employer, the one who so kindly gave her a place to be. “I’m his brother. Takuya.”

It doesn’t escape her that the name she was given isn’t too far off from his.

“You came here for a reason," he continues, gesturing with an impatient, open palm towards the Akatsuki, apparently not eager to dwell on the past. "Speak yer mind.”

And the leader nods, a lady on either side looking to him, though one has full faith while the other simply worries. The difference is that the former of the two women...has seen God at work.

“The effect of the Akatsuki presence isn’t lost on me," the pierced one says from behind the tall collar of his clouds. "You speak for all of your village here, correct?”

Takuya scoffs. “Hardly.”

“And yet you’ve taken it upon yourself to sit me down before the others do as they wish.”

The old man feels a shiver, gulping and pulling his own collar with the crook of an index finger. “I care, okay?! I haven’t been here long, but...hell."  Not been here long...that explains a little and leaves a lot to be asked, the performer mentally notes. "This place was in a bad shape when I came around, giving my twin a funeral. It’s a bad omen, you know. To live ahead of your twin brother.”

The look alike pauses, perhaps expecting a chiding, but the three are silent in response. It unnerves him a little.

“...Anyway. Everyone talking about the Akatsuki, seein’ your cloaks and people with shinobi headbands, star shape branded on them. They aren’t people used to this ninja war business. In the Great War, this place was a secret haven, a pocket away from the horrid nonsense you people do.”

…

“And we infiltrated it,” Pain guesses at the sentiment the Akatsuki has left in its wake.

“Yeah,” the other guy answers, a roughness in his throat. “You did. What I’m saying is...outside looking in, you and this girl of yours are bringing trouble. We can only withstand this kind of abuse so long. What? You want us around? Then—" ...He cuts himself short, lest he talk too much. "Now…” He sits up, pushing himself back slightly to allow more space, more room for him to evaluate the enemy ahead. “You’ve let an old windbag talk about himself enough. I asked ya a question. ...Aren’t you going to answer?”

The performer isn’t very good at a silent role, not when the quiet is as poignant as this. Shutting up is fine; it's the anxiety of it that makes it hell. She searches the face of her manor’s lord, any sign of what he actually thinks versus what he says. She will not succeed in separating the two; he is still unreadable.

“I come to apologize and attempt a truce,” he puts simply, voice so smooth and confident and cool. It’s a voice made for radio, or for a podium. “We want to protect you from the menace Hoshigakure-nin now present.”

“Then leave,” the old man answers simply. But Pain just shakes his head.

“It’s too late for that, and you’re well aware. Regrettably, the hoshi-nin now know of this village’s presence. They aren’t people that often reach out beyond their boundaries. Now that they have...I wonder…”

There’s an abrupt strike of fright that breaks the twin's poker face.

“...Do you even know we’ve defeated them? Have they ever started to leave your village alone, once they started leaving us alone?”

The silence hurts the performer’s lungs, forcing her to hold breath lest she make her presence any more tangible. She tries to glance over Pain’s shoulders to the angel— the very one that got her in this predicament, meeting in this very bar— but she’s just as steeled as her god.

On the other side of the table, an old man grits his teeth. “...Goddammit.” And as if he’s waiting again for Pain to speak...he shuts up.

…

…

…

But no one answers the old man’s prayers for mercy. He is forced to speak aloud his fears. That is the only way he can be saved.

“You’re right. You’re right that we still see ‘em. They come in, bully through the gates and the shops and even our very own damn front doors. They’re like an infestation. Yer just lucky we don’t have a wave of them in town about now…”

As if that means anything, the Akatsuki having found them no threat at all. That just makes Takuya’s predicament more grave, and he knows it. He says the thus far unspoken, tiptoed around, the exact point they're circling here:

“...What can you say to convince us that the Akatsuki will be any better?”

…

…

Another bump, and another gasp. Konan alerts the performer, now, that instead of the old man looking to Pain, Pain is looking to her. The woman’s heart jumps out of her chest, races out of her mouth recklessly.

“I-I-I-”

She just gets a frown under bushy brows, and part of her hopes he is paying no mind. “...You’re not doing a good job convincing me of whatever you mean, here,” Takuya tells the ring-eyed soldier. Pain, however, does not waver as he stares at the girl.

“...The people here will recognize her,” he assists, answering where the performer caught cat’s tongue. “They’ll know that on our own volition, we’ve helped her. We’ve offered protection and a means of income.” A blink and the gray targets center onto the twin again. “...Certainly someone at the funeral brought her up, it being such a recent event.”

She isn’t sure she likes the way Takuya looks at her across the table. It’s less like she’s a person and more like a product, an item, a service even— something to evaluated not on her own merit but of another value. But with nothing more to do, she has to let him. The woman is, after all, the performer, and this is the job she had selected from day one.

“...They did," he admits, and to her dismay he begins to speak to the musician directly. ""'Nother girl told me all about you. Said you used to perform every night, stopped all of a sudden, and then like a ghost now only show up once in a blue moon. You expect that to mean something to me?”

…

…

With that accusation, it is abundantly clear that is a role she can no longer say no to. Like days before...before the word "Akatsuki", before repairing the house, before she started to be someone else's responsibility...the woman has to think about what she did every night to make ends meet. Reach in your heart...and almost say the whole truth.

“I...used to be a wandering bard,” she mutters, voice so low lest any fluctuation of tone be read for the worst. “I had been kidnapped a long way's away, and got free...and…”

Her eyes pop open and she looks down. A cold hand with a gray ring is on her lap. It slinks away as soon as it came, but the Rinnegan stays; she doesn't have to look to feel it there. All of a sudden, she realizes that the expression he has held— presses onto her now— supposed to be whatever she wants it to be; that’s the whole point.

Take a hint, girl, as you shadow the role of an ice-cold vampire.

“I,” she says more clearly, enunciating her words as to be understood. “...Came across these...wonderful men, dressed in red clouds like the rising sun.” She looks to the ceiling, watching a spider weave its web between the banisters, rub its legs together and make something out of nothing but what is already inside the abdomen of that bug. “They took me here...to help me find a job. And even when I did...they didn’t just go. They intended to stay until it was certain that I was stable and safe. Circumstances changed…”

It’s best to leave out why they changed.

“...And for my safety against the...hoshi-nin,” she repeats how her detractors are referred, the people whose name she stole, “I began to live with them. Nearby. “

Okay. You’re halfway there; now look to Takuya. Talk to him directly and say what he needs to hear.

“I know I made Taiga worry. It was awful of me to go and not say why. But I thought I was...avoiding trouble. I thought I was...keeping it away from you all,” she half-lies. “But I guess trouble came anyways.” She blinks at him, slow and soft with guilt in her eyes, one she hopes he can feel, despite all his rightful misgivings. “I think the only thing that can be done now is...try to correct the problems I caused, at least as well as I can.”

…

Konan notes the exact moment something in the old twin turns on the rails. It shifts with precision, just enough so that the Akatsuki and their girl can reach down and replace the pieces where it better suits their needs.

“Lass…” he mutters. At first the performer is afraid it’s malice that makes his voice soft, but it’s something else entirely. His hand reaches forward, to lay on top of hers across the slabs of smoothed wood under dim, flickering candlelight. “I don’t have any mind that you made this happen on purpose.” She’s frozen in disbelief; is he...comforting her? “You’re young, and you were desperate. I figure you heard the name of a village and made yerself a story, just to keep yourself secret from those folks who you ran away from ‘fore.”

And while that’s entirely right, why does it feel so wrong, too?

“It’s mighty kind of you, coming all this way and telling me the truth.” Pat, pat...and his hand pulls back. His thick brows recenter on the two who are actual threats. “There’s a lot of convincing to be done if you really mean what you say,” Takuya warns.

“That’s a burden we are willing to bear,” Pain speaks for them both; Konan dips her head in agreement. “How do you suggest we go about showing our regret and gratitude to this village?”

“...They’re sentimental people,” he answers, under his breath after a long pause, like he’s giving secrets to the enemy. “They talk even now about the songs she used to sing. Maybe that can be to your advantage.”

And who else could be the “she” who must bear this burden, with a solution like this at hand? All eyes on her.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

I built a little empire out of some crazy garbage

Called the blood of the exploited working class

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Tunes her guitar, performs and convinces the town. Sees the crowd she’s made, feels a piece of herself die. That’s the summary of what happens next.

The same song is sung, just as when she arranged with new deal with two beings from heaven. Captain, oh captain. I’m a sinner with flaws; make amends with me and try something new. She sings it after Pain does some talking, eases up the crowd for her as they stand in the middle of the town square, place where the summer’s hydrangea festival was. The sun gets lower and twilight makes the sky an unnatural kind of purple. Takuya was right. These folk are sentimental, just like her.

The people are hush for the most part, so as to hear her above the natural rustling of bulky, cold weather clothes and stifled breaths. The girl is finally, finally, brave enough to raise her eyes as the ship shanty comes is about to come to an end, and that’s her biggest mistake.

In the upper right of the sea of faces, there’s one that’s less blurred than the others, one that looks back at the performer like a mirror, feelings just as uneasy about all of this. The owner of the flower shop stares on. She isn’t happy, but it isn’t anger on her face. It’s something worse.

The crowd applauds with a light, respectful attitude before the collective, two by two then exponentially more, comes to decide it’s time to bury the past and look ahead. She can only hope they aren’t mistaking red flags for white ones.

Nails dipped and dried in the color of blood rest upon her shoulder, and though he does not smile, the glance he passes to her assures that she did the best thing. It is never easy to do.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

But they've overcome their shyness

Now they're calling me Your Highness

And a world screams, "Kiss me, Son of God"

Yes, a world screams, "Kiss me, Son of God"

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

[konigsrose]

Part 1 of a König x OC fanfic based on literally nothing except my desire to ride that absolute beast of a man.

——————————

Rose was having a bad day. She had been given a huge stack of first year essays to mark by her Doctoral supervisor, had given a lecture that seemed to either bore or confuse the entire class, she hadn’t eaten a single thing since a hasty bowl of cereal at 6am, and she was fairly sure she was going to either die from exhaustion and overwork, or simply drop out of her PhD programme before she got her Doctorate. She had thought this was a dream come true, to get her PhD here in Berlin, where she had access to all the European Literature she loved, but her dream felt like it might be turning into a nightmare as her money ran out, her job became more difficult, and her thesis seemed many years from completion. The U-Bahn home had been rammed with people, too, and some scumbag had taken the opportunity to press himself against her during the journey, breathing down her neck with breath that smelled of fish and alcohol, which had made her feel physically sick. The handle of the bag of essays and books was cutting painfully into her shoulder, but every time she switched shoulders the pain just moved from one side to the other. Rose tried to focus on walking to her building as fast as she could, looking forward to throwing the bag down, taking a long, hot shower, and maybe even eating something if she could find any food in her flat. She wanted to cry, but knew it wouldn’t help anything, so just frowned and stormed onwards.

When Rose arrived at her building, she noticed the giant army guy who lived on the same floor as her was waiting at the doors to the lift. He was in combat trousers and a tight black t-shirt, his dark buzzcut slightly grown out, and he towered over Rose. The first time she had seen him she’d thought him kind of terrifying; he was well over a foot taller than her, Rose being just 5”2, and he was so muscular and broad he looked like he could probably pick Rose up in one hand if he wanted to. He had piercing blue eyes, though he barely glanced at her every time she saw him, just standing ramrod straight, eyes straight ahead with his hands at his sides; maybe it was a soldier thing, she thought. Rose had shared the lift with him a few times, him getting on as she left, or occasionally going up or down together. He had never spoken, and although initially she had smiled when she saw him Rose soon learned that those very English polite smiles made her look out of place here. Not that people in Berlin weren’t friendly, they were, but smiling at strangers came off as a little odd. Now, Rose nodded instead, or sometimes offered a quiet, but polite “Guten Morgen” or “Guten Abend” and usually received a stiff nod in response.

Rose did not bother to greet the mountain of a man this evening, she was in too bad a mood to even bother with a nod. She shuffled the heavy bag from her left shoulder to her right as she waited for the lift to arrive. When it did, the giant man stepped back to allow her to get on first, and only then did she give him a nod and a “Danke.” Her German wasn’t great, but she could manage the basics without too much of an obvious British accent. They rode the lift in silence, both staring straight ahead at the doors. Rose tried not to fidget, but the strap of her tote bag was digging again, and she felt as if when she finally got undressed later she’d probably have welts from the weight of it. As the elevator doors opened and she stepped off, she was just switching the bag from one shoulder to the other, when there was a sudden ripping sound. With a slithering noise and several thuds, the stack of essays and books broke free from the torn bottom of Rose’s bag and hit the floor of the corridor. For a moment Rose stood entirely still, sighing, her eyes closed in resignation.

“This day can suck an entire bag full of dicks,” she muttered to herself, completely forgetting her neighbour beside her.

He laughed, a single, loud, bark of a laugh, and Rose’s eyes flicked open in horror at the realisation he had heard what she had said.

“Sorry, that was vulgar. I forgot you were there… and now I’m sort of hoping you don’t speak English and didn’t completely understand what I just said?” She was blushing, and knelt down to begin gathering the scattered essays and books.

“It was funny. A good expression, I’m glad my English is good so I understood it.” His English was good, though he had a strong accent. He knelt too, and picked up the heavy books, while Rose shuffled the essays back into a pile in her arms. “I did not expect such words from the smiling English girl with the books.” A small smile flickered across his mouth.

“It’s been… a bad day.” Rose stood, arms full of paper, and the big man followed suit, the stack of massive books looking small in his hands, held against his thick arms. “Thank you. You can just drop them on the pile in my arms, I’ll probably just throw them all on the floor when I get in anyway.”

“Nein. I will put them down in your apartment.” He nodded up the corridor, towards Rose’s door.

“Oh… Um… thank you.” Rose was blushing still, and felt it deepen a little when she realised her neighbour was stood quite close, towering over her. She could smell the scent of him, harsh tar soap and deodorant, and suddenly realised that he was attractive in a mildly scary, “giant who could destroy you” kind of way. She turned quickly, wishing the red of her cheeks would fade, and walked the few steps to her door. She shifted the pile of papers a little as she got to it, freeing one hand, and managed to wrestle her key from her pocket and open the door.

Rose threw her stack of papers on to the desk that stood just inside the doorway of her tiny studio flat, and turned to take the books from her neighbour’s arms. Again, he shook his head, and placed them down deliberately himself, in a much neater pile than hers. His eyes scanned the little room that was her home, taking in what little there was to see. There was an unmade double bed with pale pink bedding that took up most of the room. She had a single chair at the desk which looked like it also functioned as a dining table, judging by the empty cereal bowl that sat on it, and a small loveseat style sofa against the wall next to the desk. On the longest wall were vast stacks of books on a rough bookcase made of bricks and planks. There was no tv, no wardrobe, just a door that presumably led to a bathroom. The man was surprised; his apartment, just at the other end of the corridor was double the size of this one. Although he didn’t go in for luxury, he at least had better furniture than this.

“I’d offer you some tea or a beer to say thank you, but I’m afraid I have nothing in the cupboards just now. I’ll owe you one, on payday.” Rose grimaced sheepishly up at him, the blush returning to her cheeks.

“It is nothing.” He turned abruptly, and made to leave.

“Oh. Well, thank you, again… Um…” he glanced back at her, and saw her questioning gaze, seeking a name to call him.

“I am König.” His voice was deep and blunt, and for some reason the simplicity of it thrilled Rose. Of course, his name was King, look at him! She grinned, teasingly, before making a low curtsey.

“And I’m Rose, Seine Majestät.” His mouth twitched into another quick smile at that, before his face returned to its usual straight faced expression.

“I hope you have a better day, English Rose.” And with that, he left. Rose closed the door behind him and leaned against it for a moment, breathing deeply. She was having a better day already.

[shanties-of-a-sea-witch]

Word Vomit/ Fanfiction abt Kylo Ren

~This doesn’t have a name and is not at all proof read so speeding and grammar are going to be horrific!! I needed to get this out of my notes app, it’s also not even then “beginning” of a story it’s literally based in a dream I had~

You run, like a small rabbit away from a pack of wolves. You managed to make it to a TIE fighter and leave almost unnoticed, but you knew he knew. Even as you were making your way through space you could still feel his eyes boaring holes into your body tearing you apart from light years away.

You had made it home, you sat in the peace of your family room rejoicing with your mother. She had asked you why you had ran, and you told her everything everything about it not being what you had expected, everything about the death, the fear, the sadness, about how much you regretted almost everything you had helped do, and everything about him. The shock settled as you told her his name, Kylo Ren , the man himself and the man you had to make yourself scarce for.

The day moved on, you were able to smile and laugh freely. Then the night settled in and your mother spoke

“It was the right thing to do —, sometimes your love isn’t for everyone and it’s better to run than be sucked into the black hole. I’m proud of you for being a strong enough person to run.”

Her hand was on your cheek, it was soft and gentle the caring caress of a mother. Your mind flashed back to Kylo, one of the final nights you spent with him, he was enraged, something had gone wrong and you knew the walls of his room where soon to pay for it but in that moment he was silent. He took tight deep breathes and his leather wrapped fist clenched as tight as he could get them. He was attempting to suppress the anger because you were right there. He sat on his bed with his head resting in his hands clumps of hair entangled between the fingers of his gloved hands. You walked in front of him, only a small gap between the edge of your shoes and the begging of his. He looked up at you and you smiled lightly to yourself, this is the first and probably last time you will ever have to look down at him.

“Do you think this is funny?” He spat at you his eyes tearing through yours.

The moment of enjoyment was over when reality snapped you back to who you were standing in front of.

“N-no sir, I just noticed this is the first time I’ve ever been taller than you or at the very least looked down at you the way you do to others.”

He looked away and scoffed shaking his head. His hand rested between his knees. His saber was held tightly in his right hand and a fist was held tighter in the left. You moved your hand to his cheek and his jaw stiffened. You tilted his head up to look at you as you caressed his cheek you felt his jaw relax. The anger you once felt smothering you in the room was slightly less intoxicating but still very prominent.

“You shouldn’t feel the need to repress your anger around me but I wish you would find a better way to express it than giving the repairmen hell. I wish you would talk to me.”

He looked away from your eyes scanning your entire body. His cheek was pressed firmly against your hand and he closed his eyes. That was something Kylo never did he could never allow his guard to slip away like that. Except it did happen, it was happening with you in that very moment and that’s when you knew. His eyes opened and he stood and towered over you. Your hand lay on the fabric of his clothes. He looked down at you, something resides within him now. It wasn’t anger but something much more scary and abnormal to see from Kylo. It was fear.

“Leave.”

“Wait! Why? What did I do?”

He grabbed your wrist and pushed your hand away from him

“Leave.”

“Kylo...please tell me why or what I did

“Just ...GET OUT! GET OUT! LEAVE...WHAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ABOUT THE SIMPLEST OF INSTRUCTIONS?”

You backed away from him and you saw his saber come alive. The whirring of its beam was always intimidating to you and you’ve never seen him in action but you’ve seen the aftermath. The door to his room opened and you fled, running as fast as you could back to your room but you could hear the yelling and the scream of lacerated metal.

You were brought back to your mothers home, her hand pressed firmly against your cheek as you rested your head there. Your eyes were closed but that didn’t stop the tears from falling. The tears of the memory, of the fear and rejection, and the ignorance. How stupid you must be to ever think he could fall in love, especially with you. You meant nothing to him and the day would come when you had to accept that. You opened your eyes, your mother looked at you lovingly. She hurt for you, for her daughter who had fallen for a man seemingly incapable of love. You wiped away the tears and hugged your mother. She was the safety and light you had been looking for in the swirling black storm of hatred and darkness. You released her from the hug. She smiled at you, pulled your head down, and kissed you on the forehead. It was a tenderness you hadn’t felt in a very long time and something you looked forward to getting use to again. She moved away

“Goodnight my love, rest well. I love you.”

You smiled “Goodnight mom, I love you too.”

She turned and made her way to her room and you made your way to yours. It was still the same as it had always been with the exception of the bed, your bed was always significantly smaller than your parents but the bed in your room was once there’s. Your mother could never bring herself to sleep in such a large bed after your father had died. So she took yours into her room. You sat on the edge of the bed, removed your shoes and then laid down on right side . It swallowed you in its comfort and warmth but also in its emptiness. You were never conditioned to sleeping in a large bed alone, you always had the weight and warmth of someone else. You tossed and turned for hours until you finally drifted into an unsettling sleep. You slipped into a dream, it was extremely dark and you felt empty and cold. A small but bright light appeared in front of you although it seemed to be miles away. You began to run towards it but as much as you ran it never seemed to get any closer. Then suddenly you were in a storm of black smoke and you could hear screaming and crying of what sounded like children. It was hot, so hot that you felt as though your skin was about to be melted from the bone. It was agonizing and horrifying but then suddenly it stopped. You were on solid ground but the storm still went on around you. You looked around, to attempt to find an escape but soon you were met with a familiar knot in your stomach. You saw a figure walking through the storm as peacefully as if it wasn’t happening. The figure emerged and you could see every detail of him perfectly. He walked toward you and you felt yourself shrink as he grew. He towered over you as he glared down at you. His hand wrapped around your throat crushing your windpipe and your head began to spin. Your vision was fading.

“You ran away. You are a coward. You are nothing. Not to me not to anyone.”

His voice boomed, as if he was speaking through a thousand speakers directly into your ear. You heard a ringing and you could feel the tears flowing down your face. Then suddenly it was silent, the ringing stopped and the storm had dissipated. It was just you in the hand of kylo and he continued to rip away any chance of air entering your lung. He pulled your ear close to his mouth and in a single plain moment he spoke

“Wake up.”

You shot up in your bed, you gasped for air and your head was ringing. The tears were still staining your cheeks as though they had come with you through you dream. You could still feel his hand around your neck, like the ghost of a threat. You stood out of bed, your legs were shaky and you made your way to the washroom to clean up. You filled the sink up with cool water and grabbed a rag. You wipe the sweat and tears off your face. You examine your self in the mirror, your face now clean of the sweat and the grime of past days then your eyes fall to your neck. You see a faint red mark across your throat. It’s the shape of a hand much too large to be your own. Your body trembles but you carry on getting ready. You walk out of the room and you are greeted by the warmth of the sun coming through your window. You could stand in it for an eternity.

“Sweetheart! Breakfast!”

You make your way to the kitchen where you’re mother is. You smell savory meat and the sweet scent of baked bread. She sets the food onto the table and you help yourself to the warm food.

“It would be foolish of me to expect you to stick around for a long time so I have packed you food for the journey. I want you to take your fathers ship. I know it hasn’t been used in years and may need a little love but it’s better than whatever you came here in.”

You look at her and smile, the memories of your father spending countless hours on that ship flooded back to you.

“I would be glad to, and thank you mom. It means the universe to me.”

She walks over a places a kiss on your forehead

“Anything for my little star.”

She walks into the family area and grabs a couple bags of food and a change of clothes

“I didn’t see you come in with a change of clothes so I found some old ones for you to change into once you get properly cleaned up.”

You nod and place your plate into the sink.

“Thank you, I believe I’m gonna do that now. It would be nice to get out of this.”

She hands you the change of clothes and you head to the washroom. You clean yourself up and change into the fresh clothing. You head to the garage where your fathers ship is. You open the ramp and board the ship walking to the cockpit where you see two seats. You remember sitting in the copilot seat fantasizing about helping your father on his missions. He always promised you to take you on one when you were old enough. Smiling to yourself you filled the seat. The child version of yourself dreamed of the day that would happen, when you were finally big enough to co pilot with your father. Now the day had come but the only thing missing was your father. You were going to pilot this ship alone and that brought a deep sadness to you but it was a piece of your father that you could carry with you. You flipped the engine switch and the ship sputtered and groaned alive. You were a smiling mess when the lights inside the ship blinked to life. You walked around the ship and found your self in the commerce room where you came across the spot where your father had carved yours and his initials into the metal frame. Your fingers ran across the welted area it was smooth. There wasn’t a single jagged edge in the letters. You walk back to the cockpit and turned off the ship walking down the ramp into the house once more. The bags were sitting on the table. You walked into the family room where your mother was sat staring out the window.

“Mom, I’ve got to go now.”

She stood and walked towards you embracing you into a deep hug

“I will miss you every moment you are not here my little star.”

“I promise you I will return when the time is right and when I dont have to fear putting you in danger.”

She pulled away and looked at you, she nods and offers to help you get the bags onto the ship.

“I can do it, you stay in here and stay safe. I love you to the moons and back.”

A soft smile appears on her lips

“And until the galaxies crumble down.”

You turn and walk towards the ship grabbing the bags of food on your way out. The ramp to the ship opens and you board. You place the food into a storage compartment and make your way to the cockpit. The engine roars to life and you make your way into the sky. You fly to the area where you landed the ship, knowing that if they tracked the ship it would be ignorant to lead them directly to you and your mother. You use the guns in the front of the ship to destroy the tie fighter. Which proved to be more difficult when you are piloting a ship alone. You flew off leaving behind the last home you’ve ever known.

[lysandreslovelygirllore]

Time to info dump about my au: banbash!

This au includes characters from the fandoms listed: Undertale, bendy and the ink machine, poppy playtime, sans aus, creepypasta, MLP, baldi's basics, garten of banban, rainbow friends, Garfield, famous/well known lps videos and characters (ex; lps popular or lps addicted), and scp foundation background shinangins, along with some more animal jam background shenanigans, plus Cuphead.

yes this is serious. I am seriously making an entire au with tons of fandoms. I am seriously doing this. I am honest. I'm deadass. These fuckers will all interact. (As a noteee! Main characters are going to be from only garten of banban and rainbow friends. All the other fandoms will be in the background or will only pop up randomly, as most of them don't live chose to the sillays.)

some notes about garten of banban characters I never touch on or fandom characters!

bendy + huggy wuggy.

bendy is a recovering alcoholic. Huggy is his old friend who always tries to assure he doesn't get back into old habits. They don't live together anymore, but they used to when money was tight. This is when bendy got into rehab via huggy's request. Bendy is always in his taller, lankyer ink form. His ink sticks to his body hard, rarely does it come off, allowing him to wear clothing.

Banbalena + nabnab and nabnabalena

Banbalena is the main person who keeps banban and the spiders in check, as she lives with them. Banbalena is NOT related to or in a relationship with banban, they are an adjacent species, as banbalena is not a demon. Banbalena and banban are very very close and old friends. Nabnab is usually not that active, nabnabalena is slightly more active than him, often chatting with banbalena. The spiders are also very good friends with banban and banbalena, using their rare times of activity to cook and clean. (Nabnabalena is the better cook, as she hoards cooking books constantly.)

Baldi + principal (pretty sure that's his name, if not, I'm just gonna call him that. Nicknamed prince.)

Both are retired teachers. Long time friends who met at college. strictly background characters, they will almost never have a prominent role in the story. Sorry baldi fuckers.

(sanses) dream + nightmare

Dream and co have stopped fighting with the evil gaggle nightmare formed long, long ago. they now chill with one another in a frienemy way, often poking fun at one another. Again, side characters, but these guys will have some major roles here and there.

Garfield + odie

Garfield is now a snow leopard and odie is an artic wolf-dog. Both anthro, both pretty large. Yes, Garfield still loves lasagna and still hates odie. Odie is a classic optimistic puppy-dog type, not fitting at all with Garfield's more melancholy ways of life. They live together and have annoying roommate dynamics. Side characters.

Green + cyan

Green and cyan often train together doing gymnastics. green has scarred, foggy eyes and a short, fluffy coat of green fur. Cyan is more wyvern-like, having wings that double as arms, though their bones are too thick to fly. part of the main cast.

Stinger Flynn + red

Red used to do experiments on himself, earning him sharp claws that he hides constantly behind gloves specialty made for his odd little hands. he has fangs and a long, snake-like tongue, but his mouth is not visible, ever. He and stinger Flynn met and bonded through being nerds about scientific shit. Stinger Flynn is kept to his usual design, except for scars all round his eye. He has a humanoid form that follows the same logic as Squidward, tentacles acting as legs + hands. He has long, flowing hair in this form with one eye to boot. He is rarely in this form, though. Him and red are both retired scientists, whom do not live together. Stinger Flynn and red are the main two who decide if the respective groups go anywhere all together. red lives with all the rainbow friends, though they often leave to do their own thing, but almost always come back.

slow salene + opila bird

Slow salene is a pretty shy one, but does often see the gang when their all met up. She usually visits banbalena in her free time. opila lives with her children and husband, also coming over often to meet with banbalena.

purple + orange

Purple and orange are quite good friends, bonding over how SMALL and STUPID they are. Voices of reason for the rainbow cast right next to red. Purple resembles a hairless cat without ears, a nub tail, and clawed hands in the place of paws. They usually crawl around on all fours, slinking into vents and any other small space they can find. Orange is alligator gar based, having most of the features of a alligator, with the fishy genes of an alligator gar. They have their own pool they are most often seen in. they are the least ticklish out of the rainbow friends. Adores sunbathing.

Theirs tons more characters. Why are they not listed? Here's why: their extremely unimportant background characters, their just not all that interesting as they don't bounce off of any specific characters, they are so important to the story that mentioning them would spoil what I have planned, or I was just too lazy to write it.

Don't judge me for this I swear I'm normal.

RAAAH this took me like 2 hours to make raaaah

[aro-kai]

There is something in the crack between my door and the wall.

I watch it at night, watch the darkness breathe. It's a trick of the light, perhaps, of tired eyes and a mind too inclined to see the eerie in every corner. But I watch it, and it breathes, and I think I can see it growing, creeping outwards and up, a darker shade of grey. It's grown almost comforting, perhaps, and I tell myself that if it existed, if it wished me harm, it would've struck by now. All these long nights, it's still breathing, or my eyes are shifting as I'm breathing, and we lay here together.

I roll over and close my eyes to sleep. My spine is prickling. I roll back and stare at it some more.

Perhaps it is pulsing with my breath, I think, a question I have wondered many times before. It certainly appears to be, a calm companionship marbled with uncertain fear. I hold my breath, change the rhythm. In in out, in in out.

It continues the old pattern for a moment, that slightly too fast breath before sleep, before matching mine again. In in out, in in out. Pulse pulse fade, pulse pulse fade. I drop back consciously to slow, deep breaths, and with the customary hesitant lag, it joins me.

It's my brain playing tricks, I'm pretty sure. I can't be positive. The mind does strange things right before sleep, and that lag may only be what I've expected. It's just barely too fast to rely on with certainty, just barely too slow to dismiss.

The thing in the crack of the door rests there, following the slow deep breaths I'm working myself back towards. There's a kinship in it, that mimicry of breath, that life-sustaining essence. It's calming and strangely intimate, the two of us together in this dark and empty room, eyeing each other, breathing in time. It's how I would imagine a partner, snuggled close, shifting the blankets above as one being, one breath. I pretend a moment longer, ignoring the instinctive twining shiver of fear, that we are companions and it means me no harm.

And that it exists, of course.

I close my eyes and sleep, face to the door.

My dreams are strange and liquid as they have often been of late. A shivering darkness, a fear buried deep. It's stress from work, I think. That's the most logical theory when I'm awake, combined with an overactive imagination for the shadow in the crack of my door.

When I wake each morning, I hardly glance at it, brushing past for clothes and shoes and a strong cup of tea. I hardly think of it, mostly, except for when I do, and then it's so vivid I can touch it. At my desk, I imagine dipping my hand into the darkness of the drawer and feeling something reach up to hold it, creeping past my fingers and up along my arm. I can taste it, nearly, cool metal and liquid silk and ozone and bile and blood and something I can't name, something that burns like whiskey and sparkles like the fizz in a soda water. I wonder if I want it, a shiver of fear and a blessed apathy, a hope clinging to myself and a fear for the rest of my life, a life that feels meaningless if what it means is this.

I don't touch the drawer. Except, of course, when I do.

I am dreaming and I am breathing, and there is a great wave which is not a wave. It shimmers dark and iridescent, like some terrible thing. It's vivid and surreal and I think it is breathing, towering above me. We are breathing in time, the wave and me. It is larger than any building I have ever seen. It blots out the sun, the stars, the clouds, and I'm not sure if any of them were in the sky to begin with. I look closer and I think I see things inside, blurred figures that weep and sing and cry out, a symphony of feeling that is overwhelming, overpowering. I am shivering, and I suddenly feel that I am naked. It looks above me like a great eye, and the wave that is not a wave is moving, a great shuddering gasp that curls closer, tugs at my fingers as it closes in at my sides. It is taller now, and I am nearly encased. I stop trying to crane my head back. It's now too high to see the surface, and its shape is too close. I'm sprayed in seafoam that is not seafoam and gasping in fear, though even as I do I'm not sure what for. The singing is everywhere, and now that I can hear it closer I know that it and the weeping are the same, and there is an answering scream in my own chest. I am yearning, and something within me wants to tear my heart from my chest and plunge it deep into the wave. But I am so afraid.

I can't feel my chest enough to breathe, the screaming and yearning harsh behind my lungs. My hands are shaking and trembling and I can hardly stand up, would already have collapsed if the wave were not so close. I think if I knelt, if I tilted my head forward, it would be encased in the great and terrible wave which was not a wave, and the howl in my chest would join the chorus, and there is nothing I have ever wanted less and more.

The wave cries out in rage and sorrow, and my body shivers like I've been overtaken, overwhelmed, like a mimic of the resonance between two tuning forks. A scream finally forces its way out through my throat, and I howl in answer as it collapses around me.

Consciousness rushes violently upon me in the early dawn, my body and mind still trembling. I can hear my pulse in my fingertips, see sparks behind my eyes, feel a crackling along my veins. It's overwhelming, it's unbearable. There is a wailing in my chest, unheard, no longer able to force itself out past my clenched jaw. I am blinded, I am blazing, and with the corner of my mind that retains thought I think that I could never get over this, never brush past it. I think that I am forever changed, that perhaps this will be what pushes life back into mine.

By the time I reach work that morning, exhausted and fuzzy, my blood still fizzing, I wonder if I dreamt that too.

I collapse into bed that night spent and exhausted, hating my job, my life, my brain. I don't even bother to look at the crack in the door, fearing that I'll see it empty. I don't know what it would take to convince me it's real. I don't know what it would take to convince me of anything.

I have dark liquid dreams, a balm against my soul. But now I can hear an answering howl to the one in my chest, buried deep within the calming swirl. I'm shivering and afraid and struck by an awful awe, a burning. I wake up wishing to fall back into it.

My work day passes as a dream. After yesterday, nothing feels real. I lay in bed again, and close my eyes. I breathe, and imagine the door is breathing, and I feel or imagine I feel it brushing through my hair. I feel or imagine I feel it shifting my pillow, pressing a blinding shiver against my temples. I think I sob, pressing closer. The hairs on my neck are standing as my pillow moves again, or I think it moves. I feel overwhelming fear, but I want it more. I don't move except to breathe deeper the smell of cool metal, ozone, bile, blood, liquid silk. I shiver with the fizz of whiskey and soda in my brain, along my skin. My chest is howling, and I press closer to the real or imagined caress along my neck.

I feel it all around me in my dreams. I'm breathing it in, shaking, shivering. I feel myself as a speck in a towering wave, screaming from the inside for a brief taste before falling back out.

I can't make myself dive in again, no matter how I try, but I howl willingly this time, matching my voice to the chorus inside. I want it, and I am afraid.

I open my eyes to my room and see the thing in the corner. I'm overwhelmed--relief, fear, pain, and an all consuming wave of an emotion I can't name, one that shivers and screams and wails and yearns. It's bleeding out into the room, curling along the walls, and I think of the day before, and the day before that, and I never want to wake up and go to work again, to daydream of sliding my hand into the desk drawer when I have the thing I want here, in ozone and blood and cool metal and bile and silk. The shadow is solid and opening like arms, like the folds of a forbidden flower, and I have never been more afraid and I have never wanted anything more.

I want to feel my own scream in chorus, to have it torn out and suspended, to never have to pretend to my mockery of a life. I think that the thing in the shadow is perhaps the real life, that there’s nothing closer to living than the moments we share paralyzed in the dark.

It's pressed close against my bed now, inches from my nose. I'm trembling and gasping, feeling as naked as I had before the dream wave which was not a wave. I pull myself to a shaky kneel, eyes never leaving the thing before me. My skin is alight, and now that it's close I can see within, details I could never make out in dream. There are impressions of faces floating within it, howling grief and rage and hope. I can feel it watching me, gaze heavy, though I see no eyes.

I know suddenly that it won't force me, that to be subsumed takes my own consent. I could never take it back. I would never again be myself. But I think that I don't care. I think that I could endure anything for this, a chorus for the wild howling in my soul.

It shimmers around me, and I don't look at the bed below, at my human hands, at the room beyond.

I bow in, and I am alive.