#Evil Perry Posting

[left-handed-spaghetti]

And the Oscar goes to…

[zephyyyrr]

I don't care what anyone says, this song is better than 99% of popular music these days.

[alphaaacademy]

hes their special little princess

[bproccoli]

can you change the ending?

[i-am-trans-gwender]

Major Monogram: Doof! He's an animal Doof, you can't!

Dr Doofenshmirtz: MONOGRAM, I WAS RAISED BY OCELOTS, THERE'S NO LAWS AGAINST OCELOT AND PLATYPUS INTERSPECIES RELATIONSHIPS! I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH PERRY!

Major Monogram: NO GOD, OH GOD, NO DON'T DO IT!

Dr Doofenshmirtz: I'M GONNA DO IT, MONOGRAM!

(This is a reference to the "Joker caught a Pokemon" video)

[itsthedarkest-timeline]

[erizumon]

Here in… The Headcanon that nobody asked me about, comes:

Heinz and Perry being co-parents are people who have a well-established system when it comes to giving punishments and permissions.

When one of the two is going to punish, they first use the threat "I'm going to tell this to your father" they proceed to talk to each other about the matter in front of the son in question and then they both decide the punishment without contradicting the other.

However, their children know (especially Elias) that if you want permission, you must first convince Perry, because he can make Heinz give in and if for some reason you were unlucky enough to anger the most "accessible" of the two, well, you're screwed.

[enteragoodnamehere]

I’m so sad Jude and Nikola’s dynamic was never really explored in canon or in the fandom because like

They were friends!!!! They gotta have been at least friends!!! One simply does not burn down a whole ass forest bc the other party Asked them to even if you are a servant of the fear of pain and loss

Plus the dynamic is unparalleled. They’re literally 2 evil lesbians hanging out and killing people just for the fun of it I thought you guys loved that stuff

[creativitwin]

“i don’t want the orange side to be patton’s brother,” i say. and then i make my interpretation of the orange side represent wrath AND justice

[backseatloversz]

something really wicked happened to me when i was 15 (loneliness) and igot way too into Dead Poets Society and i was stuck in Dead Poets Society world for like a year or two and then something really wicked happened to me when i was 18 (loneliness again) and i got way too into Bandom and now ive been stuck in Bandom world for like a year or two

[left-handed-spaghetti]

what have I done.

I’m so sorry I was messing around on procreate

[numericalbridge]

These are super rough, but i just wanted to share some tidbits from the fics i've plotted but not sure whether i would write in full. All are from different stories:

A.

"Darius?! Darius! Please, please, wake up!"

The voice is sending pinpricks of pain right through his brain. Darius opens his eyes. Everything is swaying. It feels like all the energy has been drained out of him. What happened? He blinks groggily and attempts to sit up.

"You're alive!" Eda's human ward - Luz - lets go of his shoulder and mutters something in a language Darius doesn't understand. "Is Eda all right? Everyone else?"

"Where are we?" He doesn't recognize the place. There are lines of strange glyphs around the two of them. "And what are you doing here?" he demands. He doesn't like this. Where are the other kids? His head is still foggy. The Ceremony. The fight. The translocation. "Yes, Eda and the rest should be safe. Are you here alone?"

Luz twists her mouth into a forced smile, "Well, you see... But first ugh..." Her eyes shift. "Please don't freak out..." she mutters.

Is she looking at his arm? He follows her gaze to his sigil...

B.

Raine knew that look. Imperious and somewhat disgusted, as if he had just seen something so beneath him that it fascinated and repulsed him in equal measures yet wasn't worth a verbal reaction. That look was enough to shut up even the oldest Coven Heads. Only... Raine couldn't recall it ever being directed at them.

Then the boy's lower lip wobbled, and the illusion was shattered.

C.

"I assume the Great Demon King has not heard the blood-curdling tale of Brie the Blimp?"

"Brie the Blimp?" Ha! The name was catchy. But King had his mission.

"Oh, yes," the witch said. The abomination on his head shifted. "The mysterious and frightening witch-eating flying apparatus." He raised an eyebrow and then nodded towards the window. "They say she prowls the skies on nights just like this."

"And?" King asked - just in case. He had to find Eda, but this was something new. He needed the intel!

"Oh, I don't know," the witch leaned his head on his hand. "Perhaps this story is too much..."

"No!" King objected. "The King of Demons is not afraid of some old nursery story. I demand to hear the blood-calling... blood-curling tale of the evil Blimp!"

"Hmm, all right," the man smiled, "if you insist."

King grabbed one of the abomination toys closer to himself - also just in case - and plopped down to listen.

"It all started one bright and peaceful morning..."

D.

"Oh my Titan! Are you Perry Porter?!" one of the scouts squealed. "From the Crystal Ball? For real?!"

"Yes, yes," Perry forced himself to say. Normally he would be embarrassed, but this time was different. "Glad to meet a fan..."

"Do you even know who this is?" the scout pestered their colleague who shrugged non-comittally.

"I love seeing you on the Crystal Ball!" the first scout addressed Perry again.

"Thank you. But can I help you?" Perry knew his voice sounded polite, but his heart was pounding. Here we go.

"We are looking for dangerous rebels, potentially wild witches," the less enthusiastic scout announced. "They were seen in the vicinity of your house. Have you noticed any suspicious activity?"

"I don't think so," Perry answered. "But there is a forest behind these houses, it would be easy to hide there."

"Are you sure you didn't see anyone?"

"Come on," the chatty scout interrupted them. "It's Perry Porter! He would've noticed if the rebels were here. Thank you for your time!"

No, thank you.

"No problem."

E.

"Oh, wow, this Construction Coven's book is surely a brick," Luz waved the book in front of herself. Judging by the blank stares, the joke didn't land.

"The most prominent figures of the Construction Craft, tome 2," Skara read the title from below.

"Sounds fun," Luz started - she had a really good one...

"Hey!"

Eberwolf grabbed the book right out of her hands, and she nearly fell down the ladder. Eber hurried to the other side of the room, put the book on the desk and began hastily turning over the pages as if looking for something specific. Then they seemed to find that something. He read the page, chirping almost silently to themselves and tugging on his mane from time to time.

"Eber?" Darius had stopped mending the abominations and came up to stand by them.

Eber shook their head, jumped down the chair and silently trotted out of the room, leaving the book on the table.

Darius sighed.

"What happened?" Skara asked.

Luz leaned to look in the book. There was a portrait.

"Galatea Vault," Darius said. "She was the Construction Coven Head before Mason."

[resizura]

i feel like people only say “leon’s family was in the mafia” bc one thing calls him italian (despite his last name being irish/scottish and his middle name literally being scott) and another thing mentions his family dying in an accident bc they were involved in crime but neither of those things were actually from the games iirc

EXACTLY! Like, it’s this weird thing where in Resident Evil, we get a shit ton of supplemental material from people who are kinda authority for the series, so like voice actors, character artists, authors who work with Capcom, etc. But the thing is, those people dont override the directors, producers, and writers for the GAMES and MOVIES (at least thats how I see it).

For those unaware, Leon being Italian-American is mentioned by Isao Oshi (the guy who designed the characters in RE1 and RE2) in “Capcom Design Works,” a book thats pretty much ONLY available in Japan and was released all the way back in 2001. What he said on one of the pages was, “When I created Leon, I had an Italian American with a pet bloodhound in mind.”

I’m not saying that Leon isn’t or can’t be Italian-American but to me personally, it seems like just a stepping stone for the designer to work on Leon. As far as I can tell, Hideki Kamiya didnt tell Isao Oshi to make Leon Italian-American. But okay, let’s table that and now discuss the lore around his parents.

This comes from the sixth volume of the CFC Style Fan-Book Cap!, which came out in 1998. It featured sort of “interviews” between Claire and Leon about RE2. This is also available in Japanese and has been translated to English. In this “interview,” Leon says that his family was involved in “heinous crimes” and lost them all at once. (X)

I don’t know how I feel about these books. I personally don’t consider them canon because it was like a fun little section in a newsletter and there’s stuff in Claire’s section that people never mention (like her having lots of boyfriends). But again! It’s so hard and annoying because of these grey areas in terms of authority. The CFC book is made and published by Capcom, so it should be canon, right? but then these things are NEVER mentioned in any main materials!

Honestly it’s like what I said in a previous post, where a reason why Resident Evil fans fight so much is because even Capcom isn’t sure what’s canon or not in its own franchise.

[ablogthatishenceforthmine]

Dream Emmy Nominations: Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series

In alphabetical order:

Jacob Anderson (Anne Rice’s Interview with the Vampire)

Mike Colter (Evil)

Kieran Culkin (Succession)

Bob Odenkirk (Better Call Saul)

Matthew Rhys (Perry Mason)

Jeremy Strong (Succession)

[starbberryblue]

collection of my absolute favorite tags from this incredible post:

Candace and doofenshmirtz would be tumblr mutuals i think

[supreme-leader-stoat]

You're fresh out of college and looking for a job. Everyone is hiring. Nobody who's "hiring" is actually hiring. You finally get a call back from somewhere you barely remember applying to (though the voice on the other end sounds synthesized). You pull up the job listing again real quick. The company name and the fact that the listing is for "Minion" are kind of concerning, but you know what, you've interviewed with enough evil corporations by now, you can handle one wearing its true colors on its sleeve. At this point it's a matter of making rent or moving back in with your parents, and as much as you love your family, you can't imagine spending another summer dealing with your brothers' antics. You agree to the interview.

The man who greets you is an enthusiastic older German(?) man who's either way too into cosplay or just that committed to the bit, judging by the lab coat. He made cookies. The tray of cookies is proffered to you by a ten-foot-tall robotic caricature of a 50s businessman. You take a deep breath to calm yourself. You bite into one of the cookies. It's delicious.

You ask the boss about his business model. "Oh you know, a little of this, a little of that, I bounce from project to project a lot." He mentions that his end goal is becoming the undisputed ruler of the surrounding counties. "Really? Not the whole world?" you ask. "I like to set realistic goals," he replies.

As he gives you the tour of his "evil lair," ingrained instincts are screaming at you to report this guy to some kind of authority figure. You remember the salary. You decide that you can always bust him after getting your first paycheck.

The boss asks when you can start. Caught off guard, you say "tomorrow?". Your boss(?) says he'll see you then.

On the way out, you bump into your stepbrother's girlfriend. Your boss introduces her as his daughter. You both silently agree to sidestep the subject for now and act like this is your first time meeting.

You show up to your first day of work. Your boss is putting the finishing touches on a giant machine that was definitely not there yesterday. You are nonplussed. You ask him what it's for and he launches into a convoluted explanation involving his parents always forcing him to put his shirts on backwards so the tag was in front. You think he should probably talk to a therapist.

Your brothers' exotic pet breaks down the wall. You stare at him. He stares at you. Incredulously, you say his name. "Oh, good, you two already know each other!" your boss says. You mention that you used to live with him. "What? Perry the Platypus, you never mentioned having a roommate."

This is what I like to imagine Candace Flynn's life is like, post P&F.