#Everytime I think about them they make me so

[snzunii]

( read part one here )

it wasn't unusual for your friends that you and satoru don't get along that well. it’s obvious, you make snarky comments about his triumph of the week every now and then but it was unusual for them when satoru wasn't bragging about some girl anymore.

and you weren't even making side comments about how he doesn't have any new “girl” for the week now. at first, it was suguru who noticed it. 

but then come shoko, then of course, utahime. how can they not notice when your petty bickering is part of the group gatherings? how can they not notice when you weren't rolling your eyes anymore everytime that satoru’s opening his mouth?

“what the hell is wrong with the two of you? did you fight?” it was suguru who broke the ice.

can you blame them? they can't take this weird shit that’s happening, whatever it is. 

“huh?” you looked up from your phone, “fight? who?”

“don't play dumb.” shoko says, “you and satoru. did you two fight?”

huh, fight. more like, did you two have sex a week ago and it has been awkward ever since? yeah, more like that. you glance at satoru and he looks at you knowingly, just waiting for whatever you're going to say.

you chuckled awkwardly, “we didn't. i just don't like talking to him, you know.”

and before they could probe even further, you stood up. “i’m heading to the store, do you guys want anything?”

they just raised their brows at you and when they all looked at satoru, he just shrugged his shoulders. 

“nothing? okay.” 

“i’m coming with you.”

and that made them more confused because why the hell would satoru go with you, just the two of you, alone? but they just shrugged it off, and you two walked out of suguru’s condo unit. 

you don't even know why he would go with you. it’s true that you haven't talked since, but you figure that there’s nothing to talk about because it’s never going to happen again. it’s just a one time thing.

“huh.” you heard him say. you stopped walking and glanced back at him.

“what?”

“you don't like talking to me, but you just like sticking your tongue down my throat?”

you cannot believe this. 

you wanna smack that grin right off his face.

“you’re so fucking annoying!” you marched towards the elevator as fast as you could but somehow he just caught up on you.

“hey. i’m sorry, okay. i’ll stop.” he said and reached for your arm, “YN.”

“what? what the fuck do you want?”

“i just want to talk.” you scoff, the elevator opens and you walk in. “can we please just talk?”

“then talk.” you crossed your arm, still avoiding his gaze. you don't know what you're feeling and you don't know how to react, maybe that’s why you’re acting out right now.

it wasn't supposed to be this way, you were supposed to be just friends.

he was supposed to be just your friend who annoys you every now and then with his antics. “how can we talk if you’re not looking at me?”

“just talk—”

he pressed the emergency stop button and now, great, you’re stuck with him. “what’d you do that for?”

“i just want to make sure you’re okay with what happened. and i’m sorry if that made you feel uncomfortable in any way—”

“stop.” you looked at him, “i’m okay. and i think we both wanted that to happen, you don't need to say sorry. i just want to go back to the way it was, okay? it’s not going to happen again, so…”

“okay.” he simply answered, he pressed the button again and just backed up. the silence envelopes the two of you as you wait for the elevator to reach the ground floor. 

you sighed a relief when you heard the ding! but before it opens, satoru says something before walking past you.

“except, i don't want things to go back the way it was.”

now, why the hell would he say that?

[iannmin]

HEAD OVER HEELS | p.sh 박성화

pairings + warnings: heels!obssessed!hwa x fem!reader, creampie, breeding kink (literally breeding everywhere >_<), just pure smut so mdni! 18+, unprotected sex, exhibitionism (?)

synopsis: “get hot on ya heels”

a/n: just got some inspiration looking at some of the reblogs from my previous works on hwa and one of them said that hwa may have a kink of loving to their s/o in heels, so credits to whoever who said that i love you

you owned a lot of heels, but “a lot” would definitely be an understatement. the heels came in tens, even dozens - from the classic YSL’s to the fancy Dolce & Gabbana’s, but regardless the type, it all boiled down to a single reason: park seonghwa.

hwa would always buy you heels everytime he goes out for shopping with his bandmates. his poor and innocent friends thought that it was “nothing more than an act of love” but oh,, you knew for sure that it wasn’t. it was simple, really, he loved how you looked in them when you two were having a lil baby making session <3. so when he hastily kicked off his shoes and fumbled his way over to the bedroom at one in the morning where you were just about to tuck yourself to bed,, you weren’t surprise at all.

“jagiya, look hehe” he shook the huge shopping bag, smug look smeared all over his face. “let’s do it now” don’t get mistaken,, hwa had his priorities set straight so he didn’t care one bit when he carelessly tore the luxurious Louis Vuitton wrapping in half like a spoilt child. you barely uttered a reply but he was already holding both of your ankles, slipping on the wine red heels on your feet. it took a few moments for hwa to soak in the sight - you in his plain white tee with your lace panties coupled with the pair of high heels….god,, and when it finally came to him, hwa could only mumble “f-fuck…s’pretty….gonna ruin you princess” before instantly reaching for the buckles on his belt.

jeans and belt pooling around his knees with his veiny cock slapping against his abdomen, he set you up in a mating press, hooking both of your legs over his shoulder. gently kissing each side of your ankles, he aligned his girthy tip against your hole.

“hah…fuck…wanna breed you so bad…you’ll be such a pretty mommy f’me” *schlop!* in an instant, his hips slammed tightly against yours and his girthy base came into contact with your folds. that’s it. seven-inch all in at once. this was the feeling you’d never seemed to get used to no matter how many times the both of you did it, so it got you instantly gripping on hwa’s shoulder blades. “nnnggh….hwa…feels s’full…s’good...” tears were threatening to spill from your eyes, so he reached in for a sloppy kiss, a string of saliva connecting from both of your coated lips.

but,, of course you were wrong to think that it was the end because hwa was pussy-drunk. extremely drunk with the thought of you. all he desired was to pound that tight pussy loose and watch it seep with his cum. so he did exactly that. with sweaty bangs sticking to his forehead, he buried his head into your neck, deep groans casting vibrations against your skin. with every hard thrust, your nails dug deeper into his shoulders, whimpers turning a pitch higher. "h-hwa...gonna cum..."

"hold on for me princess, i wanna try something.." hwa instantly flipped you on your stomach - ass up, face down in a doggy-style position, and when he entered your sensitive hole again to continue his pounding ordeal, you swear you felt his cock reach in about an inch deeper. oh boy,, you were going to lose your mind very soon.

it took the both of you no more than half a minute to reach your highs and when it did, it felt straight out of a porn scene. with hwa's groans turned into nothing but an endless chant of curses and high-pitched whimpers, and your moans turned into broken sobs, he pressed his hip as deep as it could have gone against yours, releasing loads and loads of hot white cum, filling you up full. and when hwa finally pulled out, his cum was everywhere - seeping out of your hole, dripping down your thighs and heels, coating your wine-red heels in a layer of translucent fluid. he hate to admit it but the sight of you nearly got him hard again.

"fuck...princess, i love you so much, could do this everyday"

[allaboutnayeli]

BREAK DOWN YOUR WALLS, OPEN UP YOUR HEART / lia wälti x reader

ah, ah, oh let my love adorn you, baby don't you ever don't you let nobody tell you different, baby i'll always adore you you gotta know now you got to know, know, know

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀━ adorn, miguel

summary: you never felt like you belonged until lia came along.

contains: shy!reader, mentions of loneliness, low self-esteem, and isolation, oblivious lesbians, katie being a menace, time-line is slightly messy

author notes: wrote this for my girls who have felt like they are in the background their entire life and wish someone would notice them 🩷 it's okay, i see you because i am you.

you know those people that can light up a room just by walking into it? the ones who command attention just from their presence alone?

well, you aren't one of those people.

instead, you're the type that walks in and slowly blends into the wall. the one who awkwardly looks around, listening in on everyone's vibe. trying to see where you can squeeze in (it always ends up being nowhere, by the way).

that's just how you been since nearly forever. you remember family members and teachers commenting on how you were so quiet, they would forget you were in the room with them sometimes. was it a compliment or a foreshadowing of a trait that would turn into a flaw? who knows, you were six.

it's not that you don't want to put yourself out there. you do, but it's just so hard. it seems like everyone else has it figured out, and you're the only odd one out. everything about you has always been standoffish and anxious. a mind that's desperately trying to disguise itself as normal.

you just didn't fit in. that was obviously your place in life whether you liked it or not.

the only place you ever fitted in at was football. not amongst the likes of the locker room but out on the pitch. you knew exactly what to do with a ball between your feet like there was language between just you and the ball. that's why you made the sport your everything, putting your all into it even when others would question why you were so passionate. they wouldn't understand; they fit alongside the other puzzle pieces of society while you were an outside piece that was meant for a different puzzle. one that involves a ball, a net, and a pitch.

still the moment you stepped a foot off that pitch, your puzzle would fall apart.

that's just how it is.

that's why your expectations when you transferred to arsenal were pretty low. coming from tottenham, where all the other women were lovely but you weren't ever really apart of the circle outside of football, you expected things to go the same way at the red and white club.

and at first, it did. your first week went pretty well. got introduced to everyone, made small steps towards being apart of the team chemistry on the field, and even talked a bit in the locker room. however, overall, you stayed to yourself. the first to arrive at the locker room and the first to leave. keeping your cubby spot pretty much spotless because you didn't want to take up much space.

it's not the rest of the arsenal girls didn't try to include you, but everytime you saw a text in the groupchat about making plans or heard everyone talking about doing something outside of the practice grounds, you shyed away from it. feeling too out of place to join in. why even go if you were just going to sit there and be silent watching everyone else like some creep? more like some loser. you didn't think anyone noticed your absentness from every outing that wasn't mandated as a team bonding activity. nobody has that much interest in me anyways, so there is no point of going you thought to yourself when the loneliness really got to you.

expect someone did take interest. it just seems like you were so into your own head about your awkwardness and being outside of the group that you didn't notice the looks from one of your teammates.

"feels like i rarely see you even though we play on the same team," the sweet voice of lia rings in your ears as you sit out near the bonfire. this is your first time hanging out with the team outside of practice and matches, a mandated team bonding hangout at leah's. while everyone else was in the house enjoying the warmth of the heating, you were outside in your coat. sipping on your coffee with tons of sugar and cream in the england fall weather. why? you just needed some air was your excuse, and no, you didn't need anyone to come sit out there with you is what you said when kim asked. in reality, your mind couldn't take sitting on the couch beside everyone while they talk like they have known eachother since forever even though they basically have, and you're the only one out of the loop. your own fault for not coming out with everyone else more, you guess.

you shrug with a shy smile, "yeah.. i don't talk much, so that's probably why." it feels self insulting to say that, but it's true.

lia smiles before taking a seat next to you. she scoots over until your thighs touch. her eyes glance at you with a questioning look, is this okay? they say.

you respond with a smile back, not moving away from the contact. how could you feel uncomfortable when lia is looking at you with those eyes that feel carved out of a renaissance era painting and that smile that would even blind angels.

were you attracted to lia? maybe a little. she's pretty and from a far you have seen her personality shine so well when she's joking with everyone else in the locker room. you couldn't help yourself.

"nope, that's not it," lia takes a sip of her own coffee, "viv didn't talk a crazy amount, but she still was apart of us. you act like you don't want to be around us."

oh, okay. her words surprise you. it wasn't like you were ever rude or actually turned down an invitation to hang, you just didn't go. acting like you barely read the groupchat and didn't hear the girls talking about plans. you never thought anyone noticed you not being there anyways.

caught in your own thoughts, you stay silent for longer than you meant to. lia takes your silence for offense and immediately starts to apologize, "not that you aren't a great teammate or anything. you're amazing! just wish we could see you out of those kits more."

oh.

oh, shit. she wants to see you more outside of football. not just lia, but the whole team.. maybe? that's what implied, right?

"i want to see you guys outside of football, too. it's just.." you struggle to find the words to say. not that you didn't know why things were this way, you did, it's just.. you don't want to sound like a loser.

lia licks her lips, probably due to the cold, before saying, "i get it. i know how hard it is to fit into a new team. took me a while to get comfortable here, too, especially with all the big personalities." the brunette gives you a warm smile, one that you return. the two of you sip at your coffees at the same time. somehow, you're already synced. foreshadowing? perhaps.

she knows. lia knows how you feel in a way. these feelings you hold aren't just your own, and that's comforting.

"...yeah. i'm just a little scared, you know? it just feels weird to try to talk with everyone else. i never know what to say," you explain softly. it feels like a weight is lifted off your shoulders as you speak the words into the cool air.

lia makes this cute frown expression that makes you flush slightly; maybe it's the cold. she's really cute. why haven't you been paying more attention before?

"i was excited when i heard you were signing with us. you know, i been a fan of your play for a while now. we even played against eachother once at the international level.. i don't know if you remember that, though," lia looks slightly bashful. that makes your heart flutter because you have never seen lia shy before. just her comfortable presence amongst the others. she looks at you, fluttering her eyelashes all pretty when she notices that you're looking intently at her. she continues on, "and everyone else were excited too! still are. basically, what i'm saying is we want to get to know you. don't shy away from us. i swear we don't bite."

lia winks at you before standing up, giving you a nice pat on the shoulder.

"my coffee is nearly empty and it is way too cold to be out here. come inside when you're ready? no rush, of course. it's just i know beth probably pulled everyone into doing some games and i wouldn't want you to miss you. we all wouldn't want you to miss out" and with that she leaves, going back into leah's flat.

your heart is pounding as you take in everything that just happened. everyone on the team wants you around, lia wants you around. you didn't realize how badly you needed to hear that until now. your soul use to be fine with going throughout the world without a solid place to call home, but now maybe arsenal might be that spot to anchor down to.

lia left you feeling warmer than the bonfire a few meters away from you.

i might as well you think to yourself before getting up and going inside of the flat. your coffee is nearly gone anyways.

slowly, but surely you are pulled into the arsenal circle. it started out with lia inviting you out for brunch with leah, beth, and vic who brought along laura. arriving at the cute little shop, your heart was pounding in your chest. the sound blocking out everything else going on. why did your walk feel so awkward as you approached the table? god, you're so weird. why did you even come?

that's how you felt at first until lia smiles at you. she gestures for you to come sit next to her, and you happily do. everyone greets you as well. it feels so nice to be included.

"hey guys," you say softly. of course, you overthink those words. wondering if you should have said something more interesting. seems like no one else thinks the same as they immediately pull you into the conversation.

the rest of brunch goes really well. you don't talk a crazy amount, but you are definitely apart of the conversation. the best part was when during the middle of brunch when lia patted your thigh, making sure you were doing alright. for just a moment, you two just looked at eachother, exchanging words with just eyes alone.

is this okay?

better than okay.

apparently, time flies when you're having fun because brunch is over before you know it. saying goodbye to everyone doesn't feel like you're exiting a room that never wanted you there. you don't leave feeling empty and embarrassed. instead, you leave feeling fulfilled from a good time had.

you even get a few hugs before everyone drives away. everyone expect lia. she stays near your car, leaning against the metal. the brunette smiles at you warmly when you come closer, having just said goodbye to vic who's gone now.

"i carpooled with leah here and told her i would carpool with you on the way back. i wanted to check up on you without everyone else around. is that okay?" the care and slight nervousness in her voice makes you want to hug her. would that be weird?

you don't dwell on the thought. replying to her with, "more than okay. i'm so.. happy right now. that went better than i thought it would."

"told you. we want you around," lia chuckles, playfully giving your hand a soft pinch when you come close enough. the contact has your cheeks flushing, but you ignore that. grabbing her hand fully.

"yeah, yeah.. i know now. thanks for showing me." you pull her over to the passenger side of the car, opening the door for her. unfortunately, you have to let her hand go to allow her to get in the car, but it's all good when you see the smile lia flashes you. of course you flash her a smile back before shutting the door and going around the car.

as you reach the drivers seat, you think over what just happened. when did you get so comfortable with lia to just grab her hand? when did you two get so close she could pinch yours? and who are you to open the door for her? when did you get so bold?

lia is definitely bringing a different side out of you.

you reach lia's flat in twenty minutes that feel even shorter than that because you and lia were singing along to beyonce the entire way.

she unbuckles her seat belt but doesn't get out of the car. licking her lip before looking at you with a soft look.

"this was nice. i hope we can do this more often," lia's hands go to play with one of the pockets on her cargo pants.

thinking she's referring to the brunch, you nod with a smile, "totally. i didn't realize going out with others could feel so.. good."

lia's own smile widens. feeling happy and pretty satisfied with herself that she helped you reach this point even though it's just a small step.

one small step for you is the key to a great future where you're apart of something. a future that you deserve.

"yeah, that's great and i'm so glad you came out with us but that's not what i meant."

oh. you give her a look of confusion, your heart pounding slightly at her tone.

lia gives your a look of confusion a giggle in return. "what i meant was.. it was nice getting some alone time with you. screaming beyonce at the top of our lungs was fun! and i hope we can hang out more. just the two of us."

before you can respond, she gets out of the car. giving you a soft smile after she shuts the door.

"see you tomorrow," lia says.

still processing what she said two seconds ago, you spit out a simple, "see you!"

your mind is still hazy as you watch her walk up to her flat and enter it. only then, at the sound of her screen door shutting, do you snap out of your mind and drive off.

that day was the start of something special.

lia and you started getting closer. you started getting closer to everyone on the team, something you never thought would happen.

coffee with leah, dinner with caitlin, shopping trip with lotte. you were slipping into the puzzle that was arsenal instead of slipping through the cracks like you always do. having close friends was a change, but a nice one. when something exciting happened to you, there were actually people to tell. when you were bored out of your mind, there were people to ask to come over. when you had gotten sick with a cold, you could ask someone to come over, and there were people beside your parents, who actually cared to know if you were feeling any better. all this was attention was so new, but very much welcome.

especially attention from lia who hasn't stopped keeping you close since that bonfire hangout at leah's. after the brunch, you two have just gotten closer. way closer than you are to the others. tons of hangouts, getting eachother coffee before practice, carpooling to team hangouts, calling, and texting all the time. you even noticed her giving you some looks in the locker room sometimes. that never bothered you since.. you were taking a few looks at her, too.

lia was really becoming your person, and everyone else could see it from a mile away. the rest of the arsenal girls never said anything about it, not wanting to push you back into the shell you had just come out of.

everyone but katie mccabe.

the irish woman has been making subtle jokes about lia and you since she noticed the obvious tension between you two. you mostly ignored them, not even believing lia looked at you in that way. you may have gained alot of confidence by putting yourself out there more with lia's help, but some insecurity still hangs around for old times sakes.

you never saw any truth in those jokes until a match made all the pieces fall together in your mind.

the moment happens during a london derby. the score is currently a draw of 0 to 0. both teams are equally frustrated. the adrenaline in your system is on a high as the minutes pass by. the match is nearly over, and you refuse to allow arsenal to leave this pitch without at least one goal. you see your chance when frida passes you the ball, and you're off. sliding your way through chelsea's defense until there is just one obstacle left, zećira. there's a split second where her eyes move from the ball to you and that second is your chance to aim straight for the right side of the net.

more than half of the crowd erupts into cheers as the ball goes flying past zećira, hitting the back of the net. you can't even think about the cheers as someone jumps onto you with full force. immediately you know it is lia just from scent alone. her flowery perfume is a staple in your mind alongside a list of lil trinkets about the swiss woman. lia's face finds it's home right in your neck, her arms around your shoulders and legs around your waist. you would have a bigger reaction to the feeling of lia clinging to you like a koala, but there's no time as everyone else joins on the hug. shouting at the top of their lungs about the

the moment is soon over as you all have to get back to the game, but you carry that happiness from the goal with you even after the match ends. the minutes run out and the match ends in favor of arsenal; all thanks to you, by the way. that's what everyone keeps reminding you of as you change in the locker room. playfully you joke back (something you never thought you would do with your teammates) that it was just a lucky shot, nothing crazy. everyone pushes back against of course with lia being the loudest about her disagreement.

then of course, katie has to come in with a joke about how lia was a little too happy.

"is lia going to reap the benefits of this win when you two get to your place or what?" she says with a teasing smile on her lips.

the implication makes you turn away from everyone else and hide at your cubby, acting like your shirt was the most interesting piece of clothing you ever seen.

lia, fed up and slightly afraid katie's jokes are going too far, hits back with, "and if i was? what do you have to say about it?"

of course, her tone is light. it's a joke you want to remind yourself, but your mind and godforsaken feelings run with that sentence. it feels like there is something more underneath the playfulness. you should know, lia has pressed her way into every aspect of your life for three months now.

ever stubborn katie doesn't back down as she says, "i would say i'm not surprised. everyone knows you like each other."

lia and the rest of the locker room goes silent at that. it feels like all the blood in your body just rushed to your head as you take in what katie just said, no joking, all seriousness.

there is slightly awkward tension left in the room as everyone goes back to changing and joking around about other things not lia and you related. usually awkwardness would make you slightly anxious and overthink, but you can't overthink about the tension when you're already overthinking your relationship with lia right now.

have your feelings been that obvious? and how could you be so oblivious to lia's? in your mind there has always been this small hope that lia would return your feelings, but your insecurity pushed that hope away. lia was one of the first people to push you out of your comfort zone. one of the first to show that they care to have you around and don't care about any of your awkward tendencies. you refuse to lose that connection because of your dumb feelings. that's what you always told you to stop yourself from making any kind of move, but maybe those thoughts were incorrect.

maybe, just maybe, katie was just saying shit to push people's buttons and lia really liked you.

best time to find out is the present.

everyone soon clears out of the locker room, heading off to their ways home. of course, on this day of all days, lia and you carpooled. this night with either end great or horrible, depending on how this all goes.

leaving out of the building, you're holding both lia's and your bags. it's a habit you have fallen into ever since you two started carpooling so much. it's nice.

reaching lia's car, she unlocks the doors. opening one of the backseat doors to let you put the bags in the car before walking around to the passenger side and opening the door. that darling smile on her lips as she uses her hand to gesture you to come on.

"you act like i never done this for you before," she giggles when you make your way around the car. giving her a look before getting in the car. buckling your seatbelt while she shuts the door and goes around the car to get in on the driver's side.

"still surprises me when you do," you say when she gets in the car. she doesn't say anything back right away, but you can see the smile on her lips as she buckles her seatbelt and makes sure everything is set before pulling out of the parking spot.

"i don't know why. i like doing things for you.. i like being with you," lia says so calmly like those words don't send your heart rate through the roof. with the way your heart is now pounding, lia probably hears it from across the console.

you don't hesitate to say, "i like being with you too."

lia doesn't expect that from you, obviously as you notice her eyes slightly widen. she steals a quick glance at you before her eyes go back to looking at the road.

the brunette is slightly panicking in her head. she has had a crush on you since you started getting close and may have been attracted to you even before that. you returning her feelings wasn't the first thought in her mind when yall became basically besties. so yeah, she didn't really expect you to return her feelings or be bold like that.

when the car stops at a red light, lia looks at you.

"you know.." her eyes move from your eyes to your lips, then back to your eyes, "katie wasn't wrong. i like you."

she turns back to the road, continuing to drive. how can she just casually drive after throwing those words at you?

you don't stay silent like past you would. lia just confirmed she likes you. why would you miss that opportunity?

"i like you too and honestly i have for a while-" you don't get too far with your confession as lia cuts you off with a laugh.

"wait a minute, please. i might crash the car if you continue," she looks at you then back at the road. trying to focus on the fact you are confessing to her and the shitty drivers of london was a hard task, so yeah, unfortunately, she has to cut you off. for now.

you let out of a laugh of your own. nodding in understanding, your hands going to connect your phone to the car bluetooth.

beyonce blasts through the speakers seconds later.

lia parks in front of your apartment building. she turns off the car before turning to look at you. her hands reach across the console to grab yours, her thumbs rubbing soft circles on the skin there.

um, has it always been hot in here?

"so..." she maintains eye contact as she smiles at you, "what were you saying again?"

how does she expect you to confess when she's looking at you all pretty like that? the words feel like they are caught in your throat. you break eye contact to look around the car nervously, your tongue peeking out of the side of your mouth to lick at your lips.

lia can't stand for that, so she lets go one of your hands so she can use that free hand to cup your cheek. gently, but firmly, she guides your face to look at her.

"don't go shy on me now. what were you saying earlier? you like me and have for a while..?"

"i think i have liked you since the day at leah's. i was feeling so down, and you just came.. lighting up everything. after that day, i thought you would leave me alone. that it was a one-time thing, but no, you kept inviting me places and talking to me. it was all so new, but felt so right. i really like you, lia," you blurt out, blinking at lia, trying to see her reaction.

lia doesn't even give you a response. words wouldn't express how happy she is about this, so she doesn't use words. she comes close and kisses you. she catches you off guard, so your eyes are open, and you don't kiss back right away, but you eventually you do. your free hand going to grip on her wrist.

out of everything that has ever happened in your life, this feels the most right. just like how football was your savior in life, and there was a language between the ball and you. it's now a language between lia's lips and yours. she's been your savior for the past few months.

unfortunately, humans need air to breathe, so lia is the first to pull away. she doesn't go too far, one of her hands still holding onto yours and the other still cupping the side of your face. you don't let go of her wrist either. you shift your face slightly so you can kiss the palm of her hand before smiling at her.

a small silence falls between you two as you guys look at eachother.

lia speaks first, "can i take you tomorrow?"

there's only one answer to her question, "of course."

author notes: not grammar checked or anything but i wanted to post smt after disappearing for a while 😚❤️ this is lowkey bad quality.. i'll come out with better soon!

© ALLABOUTNAYELI

[larluce]

Arthur and Merlin travel back in time without knowing the other is from the future too AU (SERIES 2)

FIRST PART (SERIES 1) >> PREVIOUS PART >> NEXT PART

Somehow, Arthur and Merlin end up lying in bed, making out. Things float around the room. Curiously enough, the vases with Merlin's flowers remain in their place.

Arthur: (on top of Merlin, pulls away a bit, looks around, suprised, and then looks back at Merlin)

Merlin: (embarrased and nervous) I didn't mean to! I'm sorry! (lowers the things to their places inmediatly) My magic is linked to my emotions and does that sometimes when my emotions are strong. I normally have good control of it! It hasn't done that in years, I swear!

Arthur: In years?

Merlin: Since I was a kid.

Arthur: (smiles smugly) So... you basically love me so much your magic makes things fly when we kiss?

Merlin: (scolds) Oh, don't go getting a big head! (but he can't help but smile too cause he's relieved Arthur is not freaking out about it) But yes. (blushes more)

Arthur: (mockingly) Now you are going to tell me the butterflies in Leon's chambers were also cause by your magic.

Merlin: ...

Arthur: (pretends to be surprised) They were?!

Merlin: (slaps his chest) Shut up!

Arthur: I'm the Prince, Merlin. You can't shut me up-

Merlin: (kisses him)

Arthur: (Kisses back)

Merlin: (rolls them so he is on top of Arthur and separates the kiss) You were saying? 😏

Arthur: Oh, you can shut me up all you want. (kisses him again)

Kissing Merlin is magic in all senses of the word. Like a breath of air after being underwater drowning, like drinking water after being walking for hours in a hot desert. Arthur never felt more alive, and he is sure of it because, for a long time, he has been dying.

When Merlin told him he loved him just before turning into a tree, he couldn't enjoy it properly. First he was dying, then he was too devasted about Merlin's fate to think in Merlin's last words. The following months the knowlegde of Merlin's feelings started to take place in his mind, but he was too focus on finding a way to fix Merlin's state while being dead inside to dwell on it. It was in the very second he realised he was in love with Merlin, has been for a very long time, that those words hunted him and his already eternal pain turned into agony. Because he realised he wasn't really dead inside. He was still dying, never stopped dying since that day. Constantly dying but never reaching death and that was worst than being dead inside.

So Arthur began picturing "could have been's", even if that only brought him more agony afterwards, it also gave him some sort of relief, hope. Kissing Merlin’s mouth with his own being one of the most recurrent imaginations. And, once he traveled back in time, it was all he could dream of. Every time he encounter Merlin, everytime they were close or Merlin smiled at him. He's been dying to hear his "I love you" again and to kiss those lips so, so much. None of his fantasies live up to this woderful reality.

He was dying and now he is alive.

Merlin: (between kisses, almost a whisper) Gods, I love you.

Arthur: (separates the kiss, breathless) Say it again.

Merlin: (still kind of dizzy from the kiss) Uhm?

Arthur: (almost a plead) Say it.

Merlin: Want to inflate your ego so much?

Arthur: Merlin!

Merlin:(softens his expression and smiles, caressing Arthur's face) I love you.

Arthur: (holding himself from crying cause he's finally able to enjoy, he's finally able to say it back) I love you too.

And they keep on kissing. Arthur puts himself on top of Merlin again and, despite his hunger for him, he's gentle and careful. Still wanting to be respectful, his hands touch and caress over the clothes. Merlin, however, is making that task quite difficult, spreading his legs and his hands exploring under Arthur's shirt. Arthur is barely aware of the things in his rooms flying around again and even some jars breaking at some point. The only thing in his mind is Merlin, Merlin, Merlin.

Leon: (shouting from outside) MY LORD!

Merlin and Arthur: (pull away from each other quickly and the things fall)

Leon: (enters, almost breaking the door down, sword in hand) My lord! Are you... (looks Merlin and Arthur on the bed in quite a state and then the state of the room that is basically a mess. Then turns around, embarrased) My-my apologies. I heard noises and though someone was attacking you, Sire. I-I'll come back later-

Merlin: (all red) No! It's fine. I was leaving. (gets off the bed)

Arthur: (gets off the bed too) Merlin, don't forget- (but when he stands up his trousers fall to the floor)

Merlin: (wide eye, brings his hands to his mouth)

Leon: ...

Arthur: (looks down and then looks at Merlin)

Merlin: (thinking, blushing more than ever) 😳 Oh, gods! Did I do that? When did I untie the laces? Or was it my magic? Nooo how embarrassing! 😫😱 (says with a strangled voice and trying very hard to keep a straight face) Don't forget what, my lord?

Arthur: (also blushing, as he puts his trousers back on) The list of chores I gave you before we...eh... before.

Merlin: (confused) What list- (remembers the list of suspects) Oh, right! (looks around the room and picks up the parchment) I'll see right to it, Sire. (leaves, passing Leon quickly)

Arthur: (to Leon) So... since you interrupted us, better make it worth it.

Leon: The king wants to know if you already have the list of suspects, Sire.

Arthur: I have it. Gather the men. We'll arrest them inmediatly. I just have to... (signals his disheveled self) put myself decent.

Leon: Uhmm... do you... (holding himself from laughing, but can't help but grin) want me to call Merlin for that Sire?

Arthur: Very funny. (orders) Out, Leon.

Leon: Yes, Sire. (bows and is about to leave, but turns to comment) Nice decoration, Sire. (leaves, closing the door behind him)

Arthur: (confused) Decoration? (looks around and notices Merlin's flowers have grown from the vases like vines covering the sufarce near them) This corny idiot. (but he is smiling as he says it)

Merlin manages to warn in advance some of the suspects with Lancelot's help, going house to house. But, as Arthur predicted, several still were arrested in the end.

Time skip. Uther, Arthur, Merlin and the knights in the throne room.

Uther: Have all the suspects been arrested?

Arthur: Most of them. A few have gone to ground.

Uther: Issue a proclamation. All the prisoners will be executed unless the perpetrator of this attack is found.

Merlin: (thinking, affected but not suprised) You wanted to kill them either way.

Arthur: (knowing this was coming, with resignation) I'll see to it, Sire. (thinking) Maybe I can make the suspects part of the sacrifice? That way their deaths won't be in vane. Gods, I don't want to. They are innocents, but I did everything I could to save them and helping them escape would be too suspicious.

Morgana: (enters suddenly, screaming desperate) NO! YOU CAN'T! (runs inside)

Arthur: (very surprised since Morgana hasn't left her chambers in days) Morgana?

Morgana: (to Uther) My lord, none of them are at fault of what happened! They didn't cause the fire!

Uther: We can't be sure of that, Morgana.

Morgana: I am! I am sure because it was me!

Arthur and Merlin: (pale, about to have a heart attack)

Uther: What?

Morgana: I caused the fire.

Arthur: (aproaches, putting himself between Morgana and his father) I think what Morgana is trying to say is that she believes she caused the fire by accident. Maybe lighting the candle at night too close to he curtain. Right, Morgana? (gives her an anxious "don't be stupid and play along with me. WTF do you think you are doing!" look)

Morgana: (ignores him) No, it was magic. I did it with magic.

Merlin: (thinking, in panic) I thought I was the only one who did this kind of madness!

Arthur: (holds Morgana by the shoulders) Morgana, I understand that you don't want these people to die and that you feel guilty. But you don't have to make up this nonsense. None of this is your fault.

Morgana: I'm not making anything up! (to Uther) My lord, you have to believe me I-

Arthur: (shouts, urgently) Merlin, take her out. NOW!

Merlin: (as he takes her out) I'll take you to your chambers, my lady. You still need to rest.

Morgana: (struggling) NO! I'M NOT LYING! I'M A- (but she's dragged out of the room)

Arthur: (to Uther, nervous) You surely don't believe she actually has magic, right father? Is clearly that she is overwhelmed and still very distressed. She never liked when you executed people.

Uther: (with an unreadable expression) Indeed, but she never went as far as to confess she has magic just to stop me.

Arthur: Well, is also the first time you threaten to execute these many people, Sire.

Uther: (with barely contained rage) I know exactly what is happening.

Arthur: (sweats)

Uther: She was enchanted!

Arthur: (sighs in relief)

Uther: Forget the proclamation. They ALL will be executed before sunset! (leaves)

Arthur: (thinking) Shit...

Meanwhile, Merlin dragging Morgana around the halls.

Morgana: Let go of me!

Merlin: Morgana, calm down.

Morgana: I won't calm down! These people are going to be killed because of me!

Merlin: Declaring yourself a sorceress won't save them!

Mogana: (shouts) I'M NOT LYING!

Merlin: (shouts back) I KNOW YOU ARE NOT LYING!

Silence. Morgana stops struggling.

Morgana: ... What?

Merlin: (more quietly) I know you are not lying.

Morgana: You...

Merlin: (puts a finger on his lips in a sign of silence and whispers) Can we go somewhere private?

Time skip. In Morgana's chambers.

Morgana: So... you knew? Since when?

Merlin: A while. Your dreams were my first sign. Those are visions that only seers can have.... And only people with magic can be seers.

Morgana: (hurt and angry) You knew all this time what was happening to me... and you didn't tell me?!

Merlin: I wanted to! But I didn't want to freak you out or to force you to accept something maybe you weren't ready to accept or share. I was waiting for you to tell me when you were ready.

Morgana: (sarcastic) Right. So then I would lower my guard and you could stab me in the back!

Merlin: (confused)...what?

Morgana: I saw you in my dream. Giving me poisoned water. (her eyes water but remains angry) I trusted you, you were my friend, and you poisoned me!

Silence. Merlin steps back, like he's been slapped in the face. First his eyes widen in shock, then his expression softens in understanding and, finally, hurt.

Merlin: You said "you were my friend"... Are we not friends now?

Morgana: A friend of mine would never do that to me!

Merlin: You are right and I haven't. And I won't.(thinking) Not in this life. Never in this life. Please, believe me.

Morgana: Then why did I dream that?!

Merlin: I don't know! But I would never hurt you! Morgana- (aproaches, trying to put a comforting hand on her shoulder)

Morgana: (steps back and yells) Stay away from me!

Merlin: (retreats his hand, his eyes watering) Oh... I see. I can't blame you.

Morgana: Blame me? For what?

Merlin: For believing in a vision of a possible future before believing in me.

Why would he? It's true he didn't inmediatly think illy of Morgana when Kilgharrah told him she would be evil and do harm, but he did stop himself from helping her directly because of that. He left her alone and then betrayed her because of his own fear which only led her to become what she became in the end. He is the last person that can judge her. Still, he can't help but sound sad and hurt. Not only because of her words, but because he wasn't prepare to lose her friendship again.

Has... has he lost her again?

No! He won't give up. He'll fight for her this time. Convince her he means no harm. That she can trust her. No matter how much it costs him.

But for now is clear Morgana doesn't want him near, so he'll repect that and let her be.

Morgana: (feeling bad at Merlin's words) Merlin...

Merlin: (blinks to stop the tears in his eyes and masters a polite smile) It's alright, my lady. I understand completely. My apologies for disturbing you. I won't come near you again unless you want me to. (bows and starts leaving)

Morgana: Wait! (stops him by the arm) I'm sorry. You are right. That was unfair of me. I can't hold you for something you haven't committed.

Merlin: I understand, my lady.

Morgana: Don't call me that! (to herself) Gods, now I understand Arthur. (to Merlin) Merlin, I still want to be your friend. I do believe you, I was just scared and I took it out on you. Please, forgive me.

Merlin: (thinking, relief and emotional) She confronted me about her vision and then apologized. She is so much better than I ever was (says, smiling) Of course.

Morgana: (hugs him) I'm so sorry. I was a terrible friend.

Merlin: (hugging her back) It's alright. Morgana, I wasn't lying when I said I understood. (pulls away) I'm also very scared that you dreamt that, even when I know I don't have any intention of poisoning you or harm you in any way. (thinking) It does worry me a lot. Why did she dream that?

Morgana: Maybe... someone will force you to do it?

Merlin: Maybe. But I don't want there to be the slightest possibility. So... I will give you the perfect weapon to defend yourself from me.

Morgana: (horrified at the idea) No! Merlin, there's no need. I believe you would never hurt me, I really do.

Merlin: I know. But the fear will always be there and if you dreamt it, we may as well do something to prevent it.

Morgana: I don't-

Merlin: Please, let me. If not for your sake, then for mine. Please.

Morgana: (sighs) Fine.

Merlin: (holds her hand an enchants) Blóstmá. (his eyes glow and a flower appears in her hand)

Morgana: (stunned) Wh... what? 😧

Merlin: I'm a sorcerer. A warlock really.

Morgana: What's the difference?

Merlin: Sorcerers have to learn spells and enchantments to master magic. I, on the other hand, didn't have to learn anything to be able to do magic. I just have it.

Morgana: (emotional) Like... me?

Merlin: (nods and smiles) That's the weapon I give you. Now a word of you is enough to kill me.

Morgana: You also know I'm a sorceress.

Merlin: You think Uther would believe the word of a servant over yours? He couldn't even believe yours when you told him.

Morgana: (facepalms herself at the memory) Ugh, I was so stupid!

Merlin: (laughs softly) I'm sure Uther didn't believe it. (turns serious again) But he would believe you if you told him about me.

Morgana: I would never turn you in.

Merlin: Just as I would never hurt you. But just in case, now you are safe.

Morgana: (watches the flower in her hand, her eyes watering) I always been taught that magic is evil, that it corrupts your soul.

Merlin: It is not! (picks up the flower) Magic is not evil, nor is good. It just is. (the flower floats in his hand, moving its petals like a butterfly) Is how you decide to use it that matters. And your magic is a gift, capable of wonderful things.

Morgana: I almost burned down my room.

Merlin: Because you were scared. With time you'll learn how to control it. (the flower floats back to Morgana's hand) I will teach you how to control it.

Morgana: (excited) You will?

Merlin: If you let me, of course.

Morgana: (tears of happiness roll down her eyes) I'd love to.

Merlin smiles. Morgana wouldn't be alone this time. He'll make sure of it.

Time skip. In Arthur's chambers, which is not a mess anymore, though the vines of flowers weren't removed.

Arthur: (in his desk, looking defeated)

Merlin: (enters suddenly) I know how to save them!

Arthur: (confused) Who?

Merlin: The suspects! (sits on Arthur's table infront of him) Uther wants to execute them because he can't find the responsible for the fire in Morgana's chambers, right?

Arthur: Yes.

Merlin: So we just have to take the person responsible to the King before sunset. There, problem solved.

Arthur: (sarcastic) Wow... what brilliant idea, Merlin! Why didn't it occurred to me before? Oh, right. Because there is no one responsable!

Merlin: True, because it was... eh... the thunder. But! What if we could make one up?

Arthur: (more confused)...what?

Merlin: Here me out. I know there is an informant in the castle. Probably a spy from Odin, because he was the one who let Myror get in the castle so he could kill you.

Arthur: (very surprised) Wha-How do you know that?

Merlin: Myror kind of let it slip before he tried to slit my throat.

Arthur: WHAT?! 😨

Merlin: (explains quickly) He entered my room and I defeated him using magic, that's why I didn't tell you. So the informant-

Arthur: (almost shouting) You can't tell me you were almost murdered and expect me to-

Merlin: Let it go, I know. We'll talk about my almost assesination attempt later, I promise. Now focus. I know who this informant is. He was the only one who seemed surprised when you woke up alive the next day. And guess who it is?

Arthur: Who?

Merlin: Bentley!

Arthur: (making memory and then his eyes widen with surprised) That's one of Morgana's guards!

Merlin: Which gives him direct access to her chambers.

Arthur: And you think he was behind the fire in Morgana's chambers too?

Merlin: No, but... he could be... easily blamed for it?

Arthur: ...

Merlin: (sighs) Look, I know this is dishonrable and vile. But you have to understand-

Arthur: I'll do it.

Merlin: (surprised) Really? 😧

Arthur: Being informant of Odin alone would be enough for my father to execute him. Adding him one more crime won't change that. He can take the blame.

Merlin: (still perplexed that Arthur agreed to this so easily, but decides not to dwell on it) Oh... Okay.

Arthur: So, do you have any proof? I'm guessing you've been investigating him for a while.

Merlin: (gets some letters out of his pocket) I got these from his room. (gives them to Arthur and he starts reading them) Supposedly they are from a distant relative and they don't say nothing incriminatory. But I know they are from Odin! They must be coded or something. But I haven't been able to decipher them.

Arthur: (thoughtfully as he analyses one letter) Uhm... The messages are very brief. (stretches the parchment) Yet he used a lot of parchment (points the candle in the table) Light the candle.

Merlin: (gets off the table and starts leaving)

Arthur: (stops him) Where are you going?

Merlin: I need the nips to light the candle.

Arthur: With your magic, Merlin!

Merlin: Oh, right! (blushes) Sorry, the habit. (his eyes glow and lights the candle)

Arthur: (puts the letter near the fire and finds the hidden message) It's invisible tint. (looks at Merlin triumphal, smiling) We have him.

So Bentley is bring before the king, accused of both helping in Arthur's assesination attempt and the attack on Morgana. The guard confesses to be informant of Odin but denies being behind the fire. Not even when Arthur shows the proof: fragments of a vase with a weird smell, which Merlin "found" when he helped cleaning Morgana's chambers the day of the attack, that turned out to be a part of incendiary chemical weapon known as Greek Fire. And both the invisible tint and the Greek Fire were greek technices. Gaius supports the theory and adds that the prolonged exposure to the smell of the chemical could have "effects on the brain" which was probably what made Morgana "delirious". Bently still denies being part of the attack, but the King has had enough. He is sentenced to beheading and, since magic was never behind the attack on Morgana, all the suspects are realeased.

Time skip. At night. In Arthur's chambers.

Merlin: (after he finishes changing Arthur's clothes) Thank you. I know it mustn't have been easy for you. Lie to your father like that and make that man take the blame, even if he was already a bad person.

Arthur: ...

Merlin: Arthur?

Arthur: (whispering, to himself) It was actually too easy.

Merlin: (not sure he heard correctly, frowns, confused) Uhm?

Arthur: (holds his hands) Merlin, I have to tell you something. It's nothing bad and it's going to sound crazy once you hear, but you've been honest with me, so I want to be honest with you too.

Merlin: Okay.

Arthur: I... I'm not... I'm from...

Merlin: (worried) What? Arthur, you are shaking. (puts a hand on Arthur's shoulder) Are you okay?

Arthur: (sighs) I'm afraid of sleeping.

Merlin: Oh... is this because of that nightmare?

Arthur: (nods, embarrased) I've been having them for a while. But lately, they are turning worse.

Merlin: What are they about?

Arthur: I... don't remember once I wake up, but the feeling stays there.

Merlin: (knows Arthur is probably lying, but he doesn't push it, respecting his privacy) I don't recall you having nightmares when we were in the farm.

Arthur: Because we slept in the same bed-well, floor there. (holds Merlin by the waist) Your presence always fly the nightmares away.

Merlin: (mocks) Awww, who is being cheesy now? (but blushes at Arthur closeness) Maybe I could... you know... sleep with you tonight.

Arthur: (opens his eyes wide and smirks)

Merlin: (slaps his shoulder) Just to sleep, you pervert!

Arthur: I didn't say anything!

Merlin: And it will be just for tonight. To scare the nightmares away.

Arthur: Of course. Just for tonight.

And from then on, Merlin will never sleep in his chambers ever again.

...

In with this "The Nightmare Begins" ends.

Hope you enjoyed it ^^

Tagging @aceauthorcatqueen , @fallenxjas , @smileytrinity ,@lucifertookmyshoe , @an-entity-i-think , @thecornerofbelu , @griffonskies , @odinjm , @cinnabon-sweetroll-tiramisu , @thelady-mary , @bennedict , @nightninjaboy , @st8-of-grace , @starrieisdelusional , @error-username-not-available , @dogberryrowan , @jamieweasley13 , @tansyuduri , @tercais , @robynnemrys , @evadne01 , @serasvictoria02 , @hairdryerducks , @curiously-lazy , @harriettesthings , @andrealux16 , @wacko-weirdo , @greatdonutenemy , @yougottobekittenme , @anxiousosaurus , @kinkforwings , @someweirdassnamee , @impracticalantlers , @miyriu , @hobipabo , @whitemaskcd , @bogslob , @braziiis , @rubinaitoart , @thebigoblin , @toomanyfanficsbruh , @farmboyprince , @nonsensefunsense

[prodagustd]

surprise | myg

this is an extra chapter of the so it goes series.

—pairing: rapper!yoongi x reader

—rating: +18

—genre: established relationship, ex fwb, angst, fluff

—warnings/tags: implied smut, lots of angst, fluff, subtle talk about aborti0n, DON’T trust my poor knowledge in contraceptive methods and use condoms!! english is not my first language btw

—words: 7.6k

a/note: this is proof that if you ask me enough, I'll finish writing my wips!! it's been a long time but I finally get to post the surprise drabble I've been planning and it makes me sososo happy to come back to this couple 😭 I missed them so much I just hope you missed them as much as I did!! BTW I was planning to post this after two other drabbles, so if you read any additional information it's because this was intended to be posted after that, but i wanted to post this so badly😭 so here it is!! hehe anyway enjoy!!

A few years ago, when you and Yoongi were beginning to be a thing and you still lived with your best friend, Nayeon, while he lived alone in his big apartment, he picked up this habit of begging you to stay the night with him every time you visited, even though he knew you couldn’t. You used to say no, trying hard to ignore the way he kissed your neck and sneaked his hands under your blouse while explaining that, if you said yes, he was willing to wake up early and drive you to your first class the next day. You'd think that after the first or maybe even the second time he tried this, the effect would wear off, but you ended up agreeing every single time.

Back then everything was so new to him, he couldn’t remember the last time he liked someone that much, he didn’t know what was happening to him and why he wanted to spend every night with you, why he couldn’t keep his hands off you. Sure you were pretty, sure you were beautiful and funny, and your lips tasted like strawberries and you looked at him like one else ever did, maybe it had something to do with that, who knew? The only thing he knew was that he felt like a teenager everytime you kissed him, or every time you ran your fingers through his hair or every time you were naked under him, or on top of him, or anywhere close to him for that matter. 

It took Yoongi a few hits, ten drunk nights and way too many days to realize that you were the only thing that he needed, that the world only made sense if you were by his side. 

With time, Yoongi learned to kiss slowly, to make love slowly, to take things with ease; he learned that you were going nowhere, but there were still those moments where he felt he couldn’t get enough of you; like tonight, to be exact. 

You were sure that in the last four years of dating Yoongi you had made it clear enough that you were a city girl, and you were certain your boyfriend knew that. You loved the noise and the chaos—the people bumping into each other on the streets, the busy days and nights. It wasn’t something you planned to give up anytime soon; this was the perfect time in your life to embrace the city's hustle. You’d have plenty of time for a quiet life when you got older.

Yoongi liked the city too—he enjoyed the view from his apartment window and the convenience of ordering food at any hour of the night. But he also loved road trips and sleeping in the middle of nowhere in a tent, bonfires, fishing and swimming in lakes. Yoongi had always been into camping, but instead of planning a trip with his good old friend Seokjin, who didn’t mind sleeping in a tent and loved fishing, he invited you—someone who hated bugs and couldn’t stand the idea of walking more than three minutes to find a bathroom.

You were still trying to decide whether not being able to say no to Yoongi was a problem, but it was his last free week before going back on tour. When he looked at you with starry eyes and asked you to go on a trip with him, which included spending the last two days sleeping in a tent, you couldn’t say no.

It was only two days, you were sure you could endure not sleeping in a proper bed for that long if that made him happy, you made the effort of not complaining just for tonight, after all you only had tickets to go visit him on tour in exactly five weeks, you were going to miss him. 

It was easy not to complain when Yoongi’s plans for your last night together were exclusively romantic; he cooked for you, built a campfire and spent the rest of the night stargazing until it was too cold to be outside, and when you were inside the tent he made sure to have hot water bags under the blankets, but they were no use when he was determined to get you naked. 

Did you mention that it was still winter?

Now you were trapped in a tent with him, straddling him as he kissed you deeply and gripped your thighs, begging you to ride him against your lips. That was when you started to complain. 

You felt your whole body shivering when Yoongi’s warm hands pulled your t-shirt over your head, leaving you almost naked. You hugged your torso, attempting to cover your breasts as you sat straight on top of your boyfriend, who was comfortably laying on the sleeping bag, fully clothed. 

“Yoongi, I’m cold.” You whined.

“C’mon, it’s going to wear off” He tried to convince you, rubbing his palms over your shoulders to keep you warm. You shook your head, laying your head on his still clothed chest as he covered your bare back with the blanket. It was easy for him to say that when he was wearing sweatpants and a long sleeve t-shirt. 

You knew that Yoongi was already missing you. He was fully aware that after tonight, he wouldn’t see you for a whole month and he wanted to make it last as long as he could, to hold you and kiss you as much as you let him. He had gotten too used to you—used to sleeping and waking up next to you, having you all to himself—but it became a problem every time he had to leave for work, it was impossible not to miss you. You still had texts, calls and FaceTime, but he was also taking into account time difference, work, and the fact that all of that wasn’t the real thing. And if you were honest, you were already missing him too. 

“What if I catch a cold?” You mumbled over his shirt. 

Yoongi kissed the top of your head, running his hands down your bare back and sending chills to your spine. How was he able to get you almost naked but you didn’t even get the chance to take off his t-shirt? “It’s not that cold.” He said, not willing to give up. 

You raised your head to look at him, frowning “Says the person who’s still fully clothed.”

He huffed, flipping you over to leave you under him. Suddenly, warmth rushed over you as you felt his body hovering over your frame. He was quick to take off his own t-shirt, trying to make you happy, but he quickly realized that maybe you were right, it was fucking cold, but he wasn’t going to back down.

“Happy now?”

“No, it’s freezing out there!” You kept complaining “Why do we have to do it without clothes? I don’t mind clothes, I actually think that doing it while being dressed is quite hot.” 

You threw your arms around his neck, bringing him closer to you. Even though you were in fact turned on from the kissing and grinding session you had a few moments ago, you still were thinking about the logistics of fucking inside the tent. 

Yoongi scoffed, amused.  “And I actually think that you being naked is quite hot, too.” He said, sneaking his face in the crook of your neck to trail down little kisses, nibbling the skin softly. “C’mon, baby. I won’t see you for weeks, let me make love to you.”

You tried not to roll your eyes. “You had been using that excuse the whole trip.” And you’ve fallen for it every time. His plans for this trip were very simple: fishing, camping and fucking you on every opportunity he had. It was not like you were against it, it has been a long time since you and him had time only for the two of you. 

“But isn’t it true?” He gazed up, looking at you with his soft eyes, his hair falling like a curtain on his face. “I’m gonna miss you.” 

You took a second to observe the tenderness of his features, to take in the softness of his voice, and for a moment there you knew why it was so hard to say no to him, you just didn’t want to say no. 

You closed your eyes, scrunching your nose. “We are gonna make such a mess.” You whined, but he just chuckled, knowing he won.

“I’ll take care of it, I promise.” He said with a soft voice, reaching for your lips as he roamed his hands towards your chest. You didn’t exactly know how he was going to “take care of it”, but his hands were gentle, the kiss was slow and when he opened his mouth to let his tongue slip past your lips, you were too into it to keep protesting about it.

As you sat on the cold bathroom floor of the home you shared with Yoongi, you tried to remind yourself of two basic things that you hoped would stop the sinking feeling in your chest. First, three weeks without Yoongi never killed anyone, this was something you knew from experience, Yoongi’s job demanded him to travel all the time, you were used to it, or at least you were supposed to be. Second, you were an independent woman (right?). You have been an independent woman since you were eighteen when you moved to Seoul alone, since you started a new life in a new city on your own. You woke up at six am everyday, worked hard your whole shift, paid the bills every month and managed to keep your house in order every day of the week. Sure, you loved Yoongi, and he loved you, and you could never imagine a life without him, but you didn’t need him, you wanted him. He wasn’t an extension of you, you were your own person, but why did you feel like the world was about to end right now if he was not there?

Crying your heart out like a five year old kid, you remembered the only time you had to take a pregnancy test, and how it looked nothing like this. 

Four years ago when you and Yoongi still didn’t kiss in front of your friends, when he still thought twice before holding your hand in public but still had the nerve of sneaking in your bed. That seemed like a hundred years ago, a universe away, but no, it was not too long ago when you were stubborn and kind of irresponsible for agreeing with him as he kissed your neck and ran his hands down your thighs while asking you if it was okay for him to “pull out” that night, since both of you completely forgot about condoms. You winced at the memory, but in your defense, you were too far gone to say no, take a cold shower and kiss him goodnight. You agreed only for that night, but three weeks later you were three days late and losing your mind, the only logical thing to do was to take a pregnancy test that, of course, came negative, but to this day you couldn’t shake the anxious feeling that you felt in your stomach those minutes before the negative sign appeared, and you couldn’t forget how pale Yoongi’s face turned when you told him about it. 

And now you were there, one hand covering your face while the other held a pregnancy test—only this time, it was positive. 

The one on your hand wasn’t the only one, no. There were two other positive tests laying on the floor in front of you, and even if you wanted to not trust the results, they couldn’t be all wrong, right? The plus sign was very clear in each one of them and you were five days late. The problem was that you were on the pill, you had been on the pill for the last couple years and this never happened to you, this wasn’t something normal or a simple mistake. 

You breathed out, trying not to panic. You got up on your bare feet to look at yourself in the mirror. You were a mess, that was not a surprise at all, your face was all swollen for the amount of time you have been crying and your hair was a big nest above your head. You washed your face, attempting to remain calm and evaluating your options. You glanced at your phone resting on the sink, and an overwhelming urge to call your mother surged within you, but as you imagined how the conversation would go, you quickly realized it wouldn’t be a good idea.

Your mother was not nosy, but she could be a little dense, a bit complicated, and it was not what you needed right now. You were sure that calling her while having a mental breakdown was going to drive her crazy, and consequently, drive you crazy too.  She would want to know every single detail, date, place and hour to understand the situation better, and you would have to explain something you didn’t even understand yet. You could imagine the conversation, she would try to explain every contraceptive method like you were a teenager and ask why you didn’t use a condom, because you knew she would ask, and you didn’t want to explain to her how you went on vacation with your boyfriend to have a bunch of condomless sex, the thought alone made you want to vomit. 

Calling your mother was not an option, not only because talking to her on the phone was complicated enough, but because she was in a different city, which brought you to discard calling Nayeon too, who was on vacation with her boyfriend (yes, boyfriend, that sounded ridiculous to you, too.) 

The last option was something you couldn't even fathom doing unless you were desperate, but you know what they say, desperate times call desperate measures, so you blew your nose, brushed your hair and called the only person in this city who would come running without asking any questions, Jungkook.

Breaking the news to the person in front of you wasn’t easy, especially when the words you needed to say were as unreal as they sounded. You didn’t look much better, you spent the next thirty minutes that Jungkook took to arrive crying, as Holly, the brown fluffy dog, looked at you like you just went mad, the worst thing was that you weren’t far from it. It was difficult to keep it together when your mind refused to look at the bright side of things, when you couldn’t call your mom and Yoongi was in another country, but when Jungkook rang your bell and entered through the door, you tried your best to smile at him and act like you weren’t in the middle of a mental breakdown. 

Your act wasn’t convincing, your friend looked at you like you were about to tell him that you killed someone and you needed help to hide the body.

You would have never recur to a man other than Yoongi for this kind of situation, but you decided to trust your ten years of friendship with the man in front of you and hope that he could be of any help. 

“You are what?” Said Jungkook, standing in the middle of the living room with his eyes wide open, trying to understand the meaning of your words.

There, in your pajamas and your hands on your hips, you closed your eyes shut, sighing. “Jungkook…” You said through gritted teeth. 

“I’m serious.” He said, letting his backpack drop to the floor. “I crossed half the city to get here, are you not kidding me right now?”

“I’m serious, too!” You whined “I’m not kidding, I don’t know what to do.”

He slowly approached you, walking towards the couch to take a seat. He suddenly felt his blood pressure dropping, his stomach sinking and his mouth dry as if he was the one developing a human organism inside his body.  “Are you sure?” He murmured. “Are you not having one of those crises you had when you were a teenager? I remember that time in college when you freaked out when you thought you were pregnant because some guy-”

“Jungkook, I’m sure.” You interrupted him, already knowing the whole story, but this time it was not just you overreacting. “My period is late and I took three tests, all positive.” 

He gulped, letting the room fall silent for a few seconds as both of you contemplated what that meant. You knew he was trying his best not to freak out, so you were grateful for his reaction, at least he didn’t faint like you expected him to do, but he was still white as a sheet, trying to find a solution in his head as though you had told him he was the one who was going to be a father.

“What are we gonna do?” He said under his breath.

“What am I gonna do?” You corrected him, sitting next to him “You are supposed to help me.” 

Jungkook took one hard look at you, looking terrified. “How?”

“God, I shouldn’t have called you.” You rolled your eyes. 

“No, I mean, what do you want to do?” He said. “Did you tell Yoongi?”

“Of course not.” You replied, feeling your eyes getting teary, but still trying to hold back. 

“Do you want to… tell him?” He continued to ask. 

You sniffed “I mean, I don’t know how.” You pouted “I’m seeing him in two weeks, I don’t know if I can wait that long.” 

He threw himself back against the couch, sinking in the cushions. It was like Jungkook’s life flashed before his eyes, how come he was discussing this with you right now? He still felt like you were kids, there was no way you were pregnant right now. “How did this happen?” He murmured to himself, looking at the blank wall in front of him. 

“Is it necessary for me to explain it?” You cried, snuggling closer to him as you rested your head on his shoulder. 

“Did you not use condoms?” He scolded you like he was your mother. 

You shifted your weight uneasily, eyes darting down to your socks. “We don’t… use condoms.” You cleared your throat, the words coming out hushed and hesitant. “I’m on the pill, I don’t know what happened.”

On second thought, that wasn’t something Jungkook wanted to know. It was like finding out how his parents had sex, he squirmed at the thought, shifting in his place. “Can you not call your doctor?” He suggested, his voice laced with uncertainty.

You paused, considering it. It was probably the most logical thing Jungkook could say, but you weren’t sure if your doctor could do anything about it.

“Even if I call her and tell her what's going on, it’s not like I can get a refund.” You huffed, a dry smile tugging at your lips.

He raised an eyebrow. “Well…” he began, dragging the word out. “In some way, you could get a refund.” You blinked at him, opening your eyes wide in surprise. “I mean only if you want to!”

You were so nervous you wanted to laugh. It wasn’t like the thought  didn’t cross your mind for a moment, but only when you tried to evaluate your options; if you were being honest, you couldn’t see yourself getting rid of the baby—or whatever organism had been living rent-free in your body for the past three weeks. Jungkook looked terrified that you might explode at him, especially when it seemed like you were on the verge of tears, but his question made you think, if you didn’t want to get rid of it, what was that you wanted to do?

You sank your shoulders, feeling completely lost. “That’s the problem.” You murmured “I don’t know if I want a refund.” 

Jungkook stood still for a moment, his eyes softening as he watched you. His thoughts swirled, trying to grasp the weight of your words. 

"Would Yoongi want a refund?" He asked, his tone lighter than before, but the sincerity in his voice was unmistakable. Despite the attempt at humor, his eyes betrayed the concern he was masking with the joke. 

A shaky exhale left your lips, the weight of uncertainty pulling you down. “I don’t know…” Was the only thing you could say. 

“But do you know if Yoongi wanted… kids?” He said as if that was a forbidden word. “I mean, do you want them?”

It wasn’t like you didn’t know what Yoongi wanted. You sighed, suddenly remembering all those times when the idea of a family came up in conversations, between drunken thoughts, before falling asleep, at dinner with his parents and on the ride home when he apologized on his mother’s behalf when she asked when you were going to give her grandchildren. His soft eyes, his hand on your tight and the view of the future laying in front of you like a promise. The thought warmed your heart for a moment, but the truth was that there was a difference between talking about it and actually having kids.

“We’ve talked about it…” You admitted. “But we’ve never planned it, let alone now that he’s on tour.” 

Jungkook hummed, still thinking. 

“But you both agreed to have kids at some point.” He affirmed, and you just nodded. 

It was in that moment where you realized you were crying again, tears slowly falling down your cheeks as you stood in silence, contemplating the overwhelming weight of the situation. 

“Fuck, don’t cry.” Jungkook said, rushing to wrap his arms around you, he enveloped you in a tight hug. As soon as you buried your face into his chest, something inside you gave away. You began sobbing against his hoodie, the tears flowed freely and uncontrollable, unable to hold yourself back. “C’mon, it’s okay, you’re okay. Nothing bad’s gonna happen.” His voice was soft but firm, holding you tightly. He pulled back just enough to look at you, his thumb gently wiping away a tear from your cheek, his gaze filled with nothing but concern. “You don’t need to have it all figured out right now. Let’s go step by step, okay?”

You nodded, feeling like a kid lost in the mall. “Okay, if you want to see him as soon as possible, you have to change your flight first.” He said, but you shook your head, trying not to panic. 

“He’s going to ask why.” You said, your voice hoarse “What am I going to tell him?”

He kept silent, his eyes fixed on a distant point as he was trying to come up with a solution. 

“Let’s not tell him.” He proposed.

“What do you mean let’s not tell him?”

“I’m leaving for tour next weekend, you should come with me and not tell him.” He kept going “Say that you missed him and you wanted to surprise him or some shit like that, and when you get him alone you talk to him about this.” 

Now you were reminded that Jungkook had to leave to join Yoongi on tour in just a few days, you completely forgot about that. It was not like you couldn’t get on an airplane alone, but if your friend was going to be there you were sure it would make things easier. 

You couldn’t believe it. After so many years you were there, sad and upset and still with the same idiot as a friend, willing to follow whatever plan he was going to make for you. You didn’t know if the plan actually sounded good or you were losing your mind for listening to Jungkook.

“Jungkook, Yoongi texts me all the time, he facetimes me everyday. It’s impossible to travel to another country without him noticing.”

“It’s not impossible, I’m gonna help you.” He insisted “If he texts you, you say you’re at home, if he wants to facetime you, you say you’re busy, turn off your location, it shouldn't be difficult.”

“It is difficult, what if he realizes I turned off my location?” You groaned, running your finger through your hair exasperatedly. 

“You say it stopped working or something! C’mon, I thought you were smarter than me.”

You threw yourself back against the couch, crossing your arms on your chest, it was almost comical that you were considering the idea. Your friend could sense the hesitation in every move you made, he could only hope that you agreed because his mind couldn’t come up with another idea if his life depended on it. 

“Jungkook, if he suspects anything…” You raised a finger, digging it on his chest. 

“He won’t suspect a thing,” He affirmed confidently. “When have any of my plans ever gone wrong? Never. Trust me, by the time you get back home, you’ll have already decided to name your baby after me.”

You rolled your eyes, unable to hide your laugh and punching him in the arm playfully. The tension was still there, and you still felt an inexplicable ache in your chest that wasn’t going away anytime soon, but being there with Jungkook made you feel that this wasn’t the end of the world, nor of your life, but the beginning of it.  

Jungkook's plan wasn’t the master plan he had been bragging about the whole airplane ride, but it worked. A few days later, after a few calls and arrangements to change your flight, after another three mental breakdowns and several crying sessions in the shower, you had somehow arrived in Berlin without Yoongi suspecting a thing. You had managed to dodge facetime calls and weird questions, maybe Yoongi missed you so much that he didn’t have time to question why you couldn’t wait two more weeks to see him when you arrived at the hotel and hugged in the hall, because, if he were honest, he couldn’t wait two more weeks to see you either. 

Yoongi was happy with the surprise, you went to see his show that night and after arriving to his hotel room he made love to you like he hadn’t seen you in a year, kissing your neck, grabbing your waist, murmuring things in your ear, saying how much he loved you, how much he missed you. For a moment it was like nothing changed, the two of you sharing what happened these last three weeks tangled between sheets, laughing between kisses as you ignored why you were there in the first place. 

“You can’t keep spending time away from me.” He said, hovering over you as he left a small kiss on your lips. “I’ll keep you in my pocket if it’s necessary.” 

You sighed, knowing that you couldn’t keep this a secret for much longer, but for tonight, you’ll let it slide. 

You didn’t know when you were returning home, but you promised yourself that before leaving for the next city, you would have to break the news to Yoongi, which was becoming more difficult by the second, because if you were good at something, that was procrastinating. It was absurd, a few days ago you were crying because all you wanted to do was to have your boyfriend by your side and now you couldn’t even look him in the eye without feeling like you were about to throw up, and your mind wasn’t helping at all. All those doubts invaded your head, attempting to drive you crazy, making you believe you were not ready to tell him yet.

Three days later, when you finished the last show in Berlin, Jungkook gave you a knowing look as you were leaving the arena holding Yoongi’s hand. He knew that you haven’t said a thing to Yoongi yet, he was all over you like he was your mother, asking you if you were okay, if you needed anything, when you were going to tell Yoongi, it almost made you regret telling him, but you knew he was right. 

A night was all you needed, just one night to gather your thoughts and practice what you were going to say. You couldn’t keep declining glasses of wine forever,  you could only hope no one noticed how weird you were acting, how sensitive you were since you stepped foot out the plane. Time was running out; you knew that when Yoongi invited you to an after-party before the whole crew left Berlin. Instead of telling him the truth, you simply said you weren’t in the mood to go, hoping that your time alone would help to gather enough courage to confess.

You weren’t trying to keep Yoongi with you, you told him a million times that he should go without you and that there was no problem with it. You hid under the blanket and hugged your body, watching him change his shirt into a black tee. He ran his finger through his hair in an attempt to tame it, looking at himself into the mirror and stealing a glance towards your reflection. He knew you too well not to notice the sad expression on your face as you scrolled through your phone, searching for a Disney movie to watch while he was out. He turned around, approaching the bed and kneeling beside you to catch your eyes. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” He asked once again.

“Yeah, I just need one night.” You said, which was true. You needed a few more moments to finish fighting with your own thoughts. 

“But are you okay?” He continued to ask, cupping your jaw in his palm.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” The words came out of your mouth with more emotion than you intended to, he couldn’t ignore it. 

“I don’t know… You look like you want me to stay.”

There was a beat of silence in the room. The sweetness of his voice broke your heart into a million pieces. You couldn’t say yes and make him stay just because you were feeling down and you really had no problem with him leaving, but you didn’t have the heart to tell him no either. You were full of contradictions, wanting to be alone but wanting to be with him at the same time, something in your chest pulled, wanting him close. 

“What makes you think that?” You murmured, fighting the urge to cry. God, you were too sensitive.

“Mmm… The Disney movie kinda gives you away.”

You huffled, playing with the fingers of his hands without looking at him. “I don’t want to ruin your fun… You should go, I mean it.”

He scoffed “You won’t, there’s going to be a bunch of parties until the tour ends, this one is nothing.”

“They’ll miss you…”

“You’ll miss me, too.”

“But do you want to stay, though?” You asked him a whisper. 

“Of course I want to… But you have to let me choose the movie.” He warned, automatically making you giggle.

Letting Yoongi choose the movie was the worst decision you have made in the last week so far, but you felt grateful he couldn’t see you as he hugged your waist and rested his chin on your shoulder, because as the ending of Inside Out approached, you were sure you were about to cry. 

When you arrived at the airport you promised yourself not to cry anymore, not in front of Yoongi at least, but your body was full of emotions you didn’t even know you could feel. It was certain that you’ve always been a sensitive person, you cried at the drop of a hat, Yoongi was familiar with that, but now it was impossible to stop it. 

You’d stopped paying attention to the screen entirely; one by one, your darkest thoughts crept in, pressing heavily on your chest. The feelings you’d tried so hard to bury rose up, churning uneasily in your stomach, and when you least expected it, tears began to fall down your cheeks.

A sob escaped from your lips at the same time the main character began to cry, making your boyfriend shift in his place. 

“Are you crying?” Yoongi suddenly asked, softly grabbing your shoulder to turn you around. He looked at your face, at first amused, thinking you were crying because of the movie. But his expression softened when he saw the sadness in your eyes and the damp lashes heavy with tears. You covered your face, unable to hold back, and the sobs came harder, each one swallowing the words you couldn’t say. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” He reached for your arms, attempting to pull them away from your face, but you turned away, burying your face in the pillow.

“Nothing,” You lied, desperate to avoid this conversation again. “I’m just… emotional, I don’t know.” Your voice cracked, hoarse, as the emotions you were trying to hide slipped through.

Yoongi was confused, but mostly worried. You had been weird since the day you arrived, he would be a fool not to notice. 

He turned the light of the lamp on the nightstand, illuminating the room with a soft orange light and turned the tv off. 

“Hey, look at me.” He softly said, brushing your hair with his fingers, it only made you want to cry harder. “I know something’s up, I’m not a dummy.” 

You turned to him, hitting him with the most heartbreaking sight he could witness, your face soaked in tears, nose and eyes red as you pouted at him. What was so wrong to make you cry like that?

“What do you know?” Was the only thing you could say, daring to be upset at him when he hadn't done anything wrong. 

He frowned at your tone. “Well, I know that you suddenly came here two weeks earlier just because. You are weird, you almost don’t eat, your suitcase is almost untouched like you’re going to leave anytime soon, you look… sad? I don’t know, baby, you tell me.”

You kept silent for a second, wiping the tears with the sleeve of your t-shirt. Uncomfortable, you sat in the bed, taking a deep breath as your mind completely blanked. You didn’t realize yet, but there was no way to get out of this one.

Contrary to popular belief, your boyfriend was kind of a dummy. You confirmed it when he decided to say the following words. 

“Is it because of Lily?” He said, making you dart your eyes at him. “You don’t like her being here? 

You couldn’t blame Yoongi for not understanding why you were crying, but the suggestion that you were jealous of one of his coworkers made you want to punch him. Lily was one of the new producers at Yoongi’s label, and a few months ago, Yoongi had noticed that you were starting to feel uneasy about the amount of time she was spending with him, which led him to realize that you were beginning to feel unexpectedly jealous of her. Yes, that was a whole deal back then, but it was water under the bridge now; the fact that she was touring with him and the boys didn’t faze you. The idea that he thought you were crying because of her was ridiculous. 

“Yoongi, are you kidding me?”

“No, I’m not.” He defended himself. “The last time I saw you we were fine, but now you’re here crying and I don’t have a clue what I did wrong.”

Suddenly, you felt your heart sink. He hadn’t done anything wrong; it was you who was an emotional wreck, struggling to keep your feelings in check. A wave of guilt washed over you for the mess you’d just created, convinced there must have been ways to prevent all this conflict. But now, all you could do was sit there, tangled in the aftermath of your own emotions.

You sighed, defeated. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” You said “And it’s not about Lily, I couldn’t care less about that… It’s just that- … Yoongi…”

“Baby…” He said in the same tone as you, “What is it?”

As Yoongi’s gentle question hung in the air, you felt a knot tighten in your chest. The truth sat heavy on your tongue, you glanced away, fidgeting with the edge of your sleeve, buying time as your thoughts spiraled. “Yoongi, my period is late.” You confessed, observing Yoongi’s eyes go wide, his brows lifting in surprise as he tried to understand what he just heard. “It’s been a week now, I don’t know what happened. I tried to wait, but I had to take a test”

 “A test?” he asked, voice low, surprise flickering in his eyes.

“A pregnancy test, Yoongi.” You said, trying not to roll your eyes. “I took three damn tests.”

“And what-... what happened?” He asked, his voice unsteady, eyes fixed on yours.

The room felt suddenly smaller, the air thick with unspoken fears and questions. A quiet stillness settled between you both, there was a weight to the silence, stretching out the seconds as you waited for whatever words would come next.

“I mean, guess what happened,” you whispered. Before you could finish the sentence, you got up and reached for the zipper on your suitcase pocket. Your hand closed around the large object, and you felt his eyes on the back of your neck, following you as you moved around the hotel room. Returning to the bed, you sat down and handed him the pregnancy test.

Yoongi didn’t know anything about pregnancy tests—he’d never needed to. He’d always been careful, using protection with every girl he’d been with, including you, until things had started to get serious. So no, he wasn’t familiar with the variety of pregnancy tests out there. But now, here he was, staring at a white stick with a tiny screen, showing a clear positive sign, which could only mean one thing.

Yoongi’s hands trembled slightly as he held the pregnancy test, his gaze locked onto the tiny screen, staring at it for a moment, speechless. His heartbeat thundered in his ears, loud enough that he thought you might hear it. Now everything made sense, how you said you were nauseous in the morning, each time you refused to drink wine, how you looked like you were about to cry when you saw a stroller with twins this afternoon at the park. How could he not notice?

You pressed your lips together, feeling the familiar sting of tears welling up once more. A small, shaky hiccup escaped your lips, breaking the silence and snapping him out of his daze. “No, no, no,” He murmured urgently, setting the test aside and pulling you close, lifting you effortlessly onto his lap. His arms wrapped around your waist as you buried your face in your hands, trying to hold back the tears. “Hey, there’s no reason to cry,” He whispered, gently guiding your face up, his fingers lifting your chin as he coaxed your hands away. “C’mon, look at me.” His voice was soft, reassuring, his gaze full of warmth and understanding.

“I don’t know how it happened.” You blurted out, your voice shaking with uncertainty.

“That doesn’t matter now, why didn’t you tell me?” He asked, you could tell he was trying to remain calm by the soft tone of his voice, but his face had gone as white as paper, like he’d just seen a ghost.

“I arranged the flight to see you as soon as possible, but... I was scared. I didn’t know what to say. I still don’t,” you admitted, your words barely a whisper.

“Baby, you don’t have to be scared, okay? You can tell me anything.” He assured you, his hand gently squeezing yours. But the uneasy feeling in your stomach refused to go away.

“I know, but… we haven’t planned for this,” you murmured, glancing down. “It just�� came out of nowhere.”

“Well, it didn’t exactly come out of nowhere. These things can happen,” he said gently, a faint smile tugging at his lips. You groaned, burying your face in his chest.

“But it wasn’t supposed to happen,” you whined, your voice muffled against him. “I didn’t expect this at all. I was drowning in work when I found out. I’m stressed, I’m lost, I don’t know what to do… and I miss my mom.” The words tumbled out in a frantic ramble, and you were so caught up in your thoughts that you didn’t even notice the soft laugh he let slip.

“You miss your mom?” he asked softly, careful not to upset you further.

“Yes!” you cried, voice cracking. “I feel like a kid lost in the supermarket.”

He shook his head gently and brushed away your tears with his thumbs, pulling you closer. “Baby…” he began, his tone soothing.

“Yoongi…” you whispered, lifting your head to meet his gaze. His expression was still worried, but the warmth in his eyes was reassuring.

“You’re right, we didn’t plan this. But we’ve talked about it before, and you have options. Whatever you choose, I’ll be right here beside you, no matter what. You know that, don’t you?” He searched your eyes for confirmation, and you nodded, feeling the ache in your chest begin to ease.

As his words sank in, a new wave of emotions stirred inside you. The weight of worry and loneliness began to ease, replaced by a warmth that softened the ache in your chest.

“But… what do you think?” you asked softly. You knew that whatever you decided would ultimately be your choice only, but you needed to know what was going on in his mind.

He sighed, a hint of hesitation in his expression. “I mean… we’re not sixteen, baby. We’re adults, we’re about to buy a house together, and we love each other.”

“Well, those are just facts,” you replied, searching his face. “What I mean is… do you want this, now?”

It was hard for Yoongi to believe you were really asking this. There you were, sitting on his lap with swollen eyes and a red nose from crying, asking him if he wanted to start a family with you—as if that hadn’t been his dream all along. Of course he felt like the life he had been living was going to completely change from now on. It was terrifying, but he couldn’t help but feel excited at the same time. 

“I've always wanted it, are you serious?” He laughed, the sound light but filled with disbelief. “And I only want it with you, haven’t I made it clear enough?”

Those were the main differences between the two of you: while he was calm, always taking a moment to think before acting, you were emotional and, more often than not, let your feelings take control of your actions. It was only in that moment that you realized how irrational you’d been. There wasn’t a world where Yoongi didn’t want this, and there certainly wasn’t a world where you didn’t want it either.

“I want it, too,” you whispered, your voice trembling as you fought back tears.

“Then why are you crying, huh?” he asked gently, squeezing your face in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“Because...” you said, struggling to catch your breath. “Maybe you didn’t think it was the right time... You’re on tour right now.”

He frowned, his expression softening with concern. “I won’t be on tour forever...”

“I know, but... we’re not married. What would your parents think?”

He let out a laugh, clearly unable to believe that was a real concern of yours. “You’re not seriously thinking about my parents right now, are you?”

“How could I not?” you said, raising your eyebrows. “What if they force us to marry? God, I don’t want to be one of those couples who only marry because the girl is suddenly pregnant!”

He laughed even harder, shaking his head. “Oh my god, baby, no one’s forcing us to do anything!” He grinned, clearly finding your worry amusing. “If we ever get married, it won’t be because anyone pressured me. Trust me.” He paused, happy to see that the worried expression abandoned your face. “Besides, my parents love you, you have no idea how happy they’ll be once they know. Married or not.”

“Yoongi, it can’t be that simple.” 

“But it is.”

You sighed, feeling like all the mess you’d made was for nothing—and thank God it was. You’d been so caught up in your own despair that you hadn’t realized everything in your life was falling into place for this to happen. Yoongi was right. You were about to move into a bigger home, you had your job, Yoongi had his, and you loved each other. You've always wanted it, this was the perfect moment for this to happen. Why had you been so worried? 

“You’re right, it is.” You finally admitted, letting your body rest against him. 

Yoongi laughed, gently grabbing you by your hips and laying you on the bed, kissing you softly. “You don’t have to worry, baby, not with me.”

“I know.” You breathed out, feeling like a weight was lifted off your shoulders. “But I am-… I’m so scared. How am I gonna have a baby? It sounds crazy.”

“Of course it does, it is.” He said “I’m terrified, too, but we’re together, right? Nothing bad can happen if we have each other.”

You nodded, feeling your chest unclench. “I guess you're right,” you whispered, your voice thick with emotion. “I just... needed to hear you say it.”

Yoongi smiled, leaning down to steal another kiss from you, this time deeper, longer. “I love you, baby, don’t you know that?”

You brushed your nose against his, nodding. “I love you, too, bubba.”

“C’mon, baby, stop crying.” He said, making you laugh. 

[mari-lair]

For Bonnie writing I think a lot of people get so hung up on them being a kid that they forget that Bonnie is decently smart and they do understand what's going on around them. I fully believe that Bonnie understands that they are looping and that understand Siffrin can't remember. i think they go through a lot more effort trying to 'fix' what they can control. Make people happy make sure everone eats, make sure everyone is standing in a fight with their items. But because Bonnie is so much younger I think they have much more fragile breaking points. They get overwhelmed a lot easier not because they don't understand the loops but because no matter what they'll always be the most helpless to do anything. Even if they get stronger they can't fight the king. Even if they make sure everyone eats and is healed they can't stop the loops. Cant save their sister, cant keep everyone's spirits up. I think Bonnie suffers most in the way that they're forced to be a bystander because they're 'the kid' they dont feel like their efforts are enough. Of course they're incredibly wrong but if isat had reliable narrators it wouldn't be isat

That's it, that's my biggest struggle, juggling what Bonnie would understand, what they won't, and what they know but don't want to talk/think about it. That's easily the hardest part of trying to write Bonnie T-T

Exemple: siffrin being crushed by a rock in the 'death corridor'? Even if the adults don't let them see the body they can connect the dots of exactly how 'hurt' siffrin was. But I personally think they wouldn't want to think about Sif being gone, even if temporarily. It would take a few deaths for them to explode "i am not an idiot i know what happen everytime sif 'get hurt,' and we loop!"

But Siffrin saying "sure I remember that very important moment we had, power of friendship is strong." like a liar, would make them go "you do?!" instead of going "you're not in the time loop, rationally I know that you don't, liar." cause they want siffrin to remember so bad, and siffrin is enough of a good actor to be able to fool a kid once (and accidentally make things way worse for bonnie) depending on what scenario plague my vision I can even see the first lie not being caught until hindsight so Sif gets to lie a solid two times about it.

I personally think Bonnie would understand they are in the timeloop (world restart, only the family beside Sif remembers. Consequences don't last. ) but it would take a considerable amount of loops for them to get the full extent/implications of how that affect things, especially since everyone acts at least a tad different each loop (perks of the family not going out of their way to repeating their lines/ acting very different all the times) and bonnie complicated relationship with siffrin.

Your ask gave me a lot of inspiration though. Bonnie trying to fix the loops makes so much sense, SO MUCH SENSE.

[tercais]

Some words about Diego and Lila Hargreeves.

Lots of you is young and/or never been married and it really shows. In a lot of ways, i'm like Lila. Almost the same age as her, two kids, SAHM for five years. I don't have superpowers and i was neven an assasin, but apart from that, yeah.... And let me tell you, if my husband treated me like Diego treated Lila, i wouldn't need seven years in interdimentional limbo to leave the marriage.

So, here are married woman thougths about their marriage, in no particular order.

Diego is missogynist. That one was apparent in season one already, when he turned off Grace (who He claimed he loved) because she showed one (1!) small malfunction. Makes you think what He would do if his wife got seriously sick.

He didn't say single nice thing to Lila until the last episode, and even then he "changed" because OTHER MAN told him to.

From season two, He showed reluctance in letting Lila take the lead in any form, from dancing together to calling the shots in a life or death situation. This caused them to fight even under active shooting.

Lila was one foot out from beginning of season 4. She was exhausted, overwhelmed, quite literally at the end of her rope. And everytime she tried to comunicate this, she got silenced, her feelings ignored and Diego always twisted her (reasonable) complains into direct attack on his person. They wouldn't worked out long therm without Lila getting pregnant right at the beginning. And the kids only slowed down the inevitable.

We may argue S3 Diego would never (which i digress), but unfortunately, we got what we got and we have to work with canon characterisation.

Seven years is long as time. I don't think people realize how long. Fivelila haters like to act as if they had "typical" affair, but the truth Is far from that. It's longer than Lila and Diego knew each other, and given the circumstances of those seven years, it would be wierder if nothing had happened between them.

Lila has way more in common with Five, than she has with Diego.

Woman have the right to leave unhappy marriage. Your kids are your number one responsibility (which Lila demonstrated over and over), but you don't have to sacrifice yourself to be a good mother. She didn't mention coming back to Diego, it was always about coming back to her children.

I came across the argument why would Lila hate her suburban life with Diego, but love her cottagecore life with Five. This boils down to who you live this life with. Her unhapiness wasn't rooted in the suburban lifestyle itself, but more in the person She shared that with. Where Diego only saw mother and caretaker, Five saw equal partner. She was happier with Five, because he treated her better.

People call Five a homewrecker, but the home was wrecked long before Five got into the picture.

[cynthiav06]

I am so sorry op but I think it's more on the inverse side. Percy's powers are so in tune with him that even with limited time, he was able to access a large arsenal of them. Sure he hasn't specifically trained to fine tune his powers but unlike the other big three children who have all experimented their powers before, he always ends up in mortal peril everytime he has to come up with something new. So unlike others who have kind of tried and tested and put a few limits on their powers, Percy just goes with it. He doesn't think about whether he can or not, it's always a case of "I must".

Iapetus is going to kill Thalia and Nico, so I have to find a way to stop him. But I am half poisoned and bruised, I can't fight him. Oh okay so I will just use the rivers in Underworld for help. They are water right?

Akhyls is going to kill me and Annabeth here, we aren't strong enough to fight a primordial. She is going to choke us with poison. Annabeth's going to die. I am going to die. Annabeth's going to die. Wait poison has large amount of water or even liquids. I can control it!

And each time he proves himself right he goes Oh cool, that's helpful. With no idea how world transcending his own abilities are. Were it anyone else they would have let their training and mindset of myths limit their imagination and their ability to fight. But Percy hasn't been trained traditionally, he has never put a limit on his own power. He does with it whatever he needs to and he doesn't let a pre defined set of rules or ways inhibit him. "What do you mean I can't overpower a Primordial in her own domain with her own poison? Of course I can. Poison contains water, it's liquid. I can totally do that."

I think Percy using less powers in the first series has more to do with his trust issues with it. See Percy has deeply internalized his self loathing and self esteem issues. He sees himself as a burden, a troubled kid who only causes problems. He doesn't want his powers to do that, to destroy everything in their path. So he keeps them coiled tight and shut. He needs it to do precisely what he wants, which it does almost always. He starts trusting them but but then at times when he he lets a leash loose, his powers do crazy shit like, blow up a volcano, lift an entire river bed from its roots, level a creek, start a hurricane or other disasters, so he keeps them tightly leashed.

We can see evidence of that with words like "a pull in my gut" "I felt something inside me break" "something uncoiled" and so on.

Whether he does it consciously or not, it only serves to benefit him because everytime his opponents foolishly think,

Enemy: I know all that you can do Perseus Jackson.

Percy: ........

Percy: Damn, even I don't know everything I can do. It's cool that you think you know all I can do though.

*obliterates the monster with something new he comes up with*

Percy: Ha didn't know I could that but boy am I glad it worked. See this is what I was talking about.

Either way I do agree with op on a few things like children of Hades have the most potent abilities, most broken ones but I think their lack of stamina does hinder them. And I mean Nico has known about his powers for even less time than Percy while neither Thalia nor Jason are very creative.

I think Hazel comes really close due to her versatility and creativity. Magic, mist and her own powers along with her fighting prowess. Her and Meg McCaffrey should have been compared to Percy more so than others given they were in similar situations and have such strong abilities. Technically Meg is a child of the Elder Gods.

I think Rick should have explored a bit more on the big three children and their powers.

The point I was trying to make is Percy is so powerful because of his lack of traditional training or traditional fighting knowledge. He learns by hands on experience, adapts on instinct and improves by finding loopholes or getting a better grasp of his already present abilities.

can we/rick talk more abt how extremely inexperienced percy is with his powers in comparison to many of the other big 3 kids

like it’s actually very interesting to think abt if you think abt the connection they each have as a scale to how connected they are to their godly parent (not like emotionally lmao but their godly heritage if that makes sense)

like if you think of nico and hazel those two are arguably the most like in tune with their powers both having used their powers since they were very young and being forced to kind of connect with their godly side much sooner/faster then the others

thalia and jason being second since thalia is literally the second in command to a literal goddess and as a soldier camp jupiter would definitely push jason to know his limits but they both haven’t reached that ease that nico and hazel have — thalia probably could’ve reached it if she hadn’t been snubbed at 15 and wasn’t scared of heights lmao and if jason had probably any type of support that wasn’t pushing him to just be better or focused more on his powers then physical strengths

both thalia and jason also started very young with using their powers yet both had that small blocker of other mortals/people around in comparison to hazel and nico

like hazel and nico are both so small that they’ve been taught to mostly use their powers not that they can’t fight but they rely a lot more on that rather then a sword unlike jason thalia or percy but i think that also just goes with the age that they are since their so young and were taught at that young age to lean on their powers that’s simply what’s easier

then you have percy who literally just found out half this shit was real like 5 years ago and knows nothing abt his powers like genuinely the amount percy leans more on his physical strength bc that’s all he’s had up until he was 12 in comparison to how much he leans on his actual powers is crazy especially if you look at the difference between how much jason or nico rely on their powers at their ages in comparison to how much percy did at those ages

it’s also interesting how that plays into people not taking him very seriously people see him as much more mortal and “weak” bc of it

not that any of them are doing it wrong obv it’s just very interesting to think abt

i think this also plays into percy’s morals a lot ? i recently saw a post saying nico wasn’t scared of percy when he was taking down an army and had hades with a sword to his neck yet annabeth was when percy was choking that goddess in tartarus even tho it was self defense which is all true but if you boil it down to those key points you can really see the clear distinction between the morality of nico and annabeth in those moments and how they know percy in that way as well

nico who’s on the cusp of godly hood in a way - being hades ambassador and spending most time in the underworld - he looks at percy as this hero who fights and kills and wins so that’s what he was letting percy do and he was watching it in awe

yet annabeth knowing percy stopped him yes in fear but in fear of the fact that that is simply not percy percy is the most mortal demigod we’ve met (him and piper tbh) he’s lived his life with mortal morals and he barely uses his powers bc of it so when he’s using his powers to literally kill a goddess like who tf is that ?? and who would he have been if he had gone through with it

i think that’s a pretty easy summary of why percy doesn’t really use his powers much as well he’s always seen himself as just some guy he doesn’t really like ppl calling him a hero he doesn’t really show off (on purpose/without reason) he’s just fighting to survive or to get shit done which is a very human trait percy is a very humble guy and it would just be crazy to see how much more powerful he’d be if he wasn’t bc ik a lot of that is what’s holding him back

also i think it’s interesting to point out the fact that percy used a sword when fighting hades in comparison to tartarus when he used just his powers id be interested to see what nico/annabeth would’ve thought if they were in each others shoes in those moments

also interesting that in both cases he doesn’t go through with it (killing a god/goddess) for 2 different reasons but what would they have done if he did …

i’m realising the purpose at the start of this is very different then what it ended in but i’d like to hear what ppl think if i’m just yapping or if anyone else knows wtf im talking abt lmao

[lilium-dell]

RANDOM MOUTHWASHING HEADCANNONS

This is going to be a long post...I apologise in advance.

And english isn't my first language, I apologise for any mistakes! (´；ω；`)

Captain Curly (pre-crash)

Used to be a rebel as a teen, have bad grades, drink, all the stuff. Because of that, he gave himself piercings and some hand poked tattoos.

He still has some scars from said piercings and hides the badly done tattoos he did at the ripe age of 16.

Hates science fiction movies. He thinks that they are super unrealistic and will spend the entire time criticizing them.

Loves romcoms tho.

Secretly loves punk music, the only thing left from his rebellious phase.

Works out as much as he can. He's sad? Goes to the gym. He's happy? Gym. He's stressed? Gym.

When he goes to the Tulpar, he always brings some weights so he can lift before bed/after he wakes up.

Gives the best hugs. You can't tell me this man will not bear hug you until you feel better.

Wanted to be a psychologist before studying to be a pilot, yet he gave up because he was too much of a people pleaser.

His favorite animal is bears, grizzly ones to be exact.

Captain Curly (after crash)

Spends the days thinking on what he could've done to make things different.

After he gets rescued from the cryogenic pod, he can't help but feel survivors guilt. All his crew was dead, except for the captain that should've gone down with the ship first.

After he gets his prosthetics, it takes him a while to get used to them and feels some phantom pain on the stumps of his arms and legs once in a while.

He regularly writes to his fallen crew members as if they are still alive. It helps him cope.

He also stayed in touch with the families of his fallen crew. Curly always apologizes for their death.

Anya

Left her cat on earth and the last words she said to him was "When I come back, I'll buy you wet food", as she would always buy treats for her cat after every excursion.

Her favorite thing to do on earth was to read with her cat on her lap and some tea.

Is a only child but always had pets throught her childhood.

Is a bad loser, everytime she loses at the game nights on board of the Tulpar she goes on a raging fit. Doesn't really hide it.

The only time the crew have seen her mad is when she loses at games.

Used to do combat sports as a teenager. Seeing the wounds of the people she trained with made her want to pursue medicine.

Is a really good driver. Just road rages a bit.

Wears contacts.

Her last thought on the medical bay was about her cat and how much he would miss her.

Daisuke

Loves shooting and RPG games.

Fluent in English and Japanese. Speaks mostly in japanese at home with his parents.

Has a younger sister. He used to let her do makeup on him when they were both younger.

Used to be a popular kid but never really had a girlfriend.

HUGE fantasy nerd.

He's actually a very smart kid, used to be an honor student.

Tried to teach Swansea about Pokemon and Kingdom Hearts lore on their lunch breaks. Swansea tried to understand.

Helps Anya take care of Curly, even if he doesn't have any medical experience.

Tried smoking once, started wheezing and gave up immediatelly.

Ties his hair when he needs to be super focused.

His playlist goes from Tyler the Creator to Lady Gaga to Bach in a click. The playlist is called Whiplash.

Swansea

Dog person. He definitely loves big dogs.

Sees the entire crew almost like family and takes care of them like family.

Listens to dad rock/country while reading the newspaper to relax.

He has a picture of his kids next to his bed. Unfortunately, everything got destroyed in the crash.

Was the one who brought the tabletop games for the crew. He's a huge tabletop games fan.

Girldad. He definitely spoiled his kids as much as he could.

Huge sports fan. Specially soccer.

Jimbabwe (I'm sorry)

Smokes two packs of cigarettes a day. Rothmans to be more specific.

He has a narcissistic disorder.

When he was a kid he used to torment his siblings.

Met Curry when training to be a pilot and got extremely jealous and spiteful when Curry got promoted instead of him.

Hates when Daisuke calls him every name under the sun except his. (Ex. Jimbo, Ji-man, Jimin, Jin).

Had an obsession with American Psycho as a teenager.

He was an edgy teenager.

I have so many headcannons but if I put them all here, the post would be gigantic...

[swugarbunnyy]

♡ My ultimate anti binge and getting through fasts advice. The order doesnt mean smth is more or less important. Mwah.

1) Water. Even if u hear this a lot, water is what u literally going to need for this. And im talking about actually getting ur water in, through out the day and not randomly remembering to drink it at 10pm. It doesnt have to be a torture, it shouldnt be! Get urself a cute water bottle, add some ice if u like and take small sips.

2) Sleep. And in the best way possible, i mean that u can use sleep literally as a distraction, to pass the time. Whenever u feel like those food thoughts are becoming too much, get under ur covers and sleep it off. Many times i did that and woke up, not feeling hungry anymore. And also, sleep itself does really help with weightloss, u will also feel less tired through out the day if u get nice sleep ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১

3) Mints! Chewing zero sugar mint gum is a must. If that becomes too boring for u u can try the zero sugar flavored ones, my fav is raspberry or watermelon. U can also try to brush ur teeth whenever u feel like binging or eating when u shouldnt. Having that mint feeling in ur mouth often makes u want to not ruin it.

4) Distractions. Choose smth to distract urself, smth that actually takes a lot of time and doesnt make u think about food. Theres so many things u could do instead of being so bored u feel like u have to eat. Has to be smth u enjoy doing, for me its usually cleaning/organising, not only my room but around the house, watching movies and shows, saving pins on pinterest, organising my phone, making wishlists, playing games, and my fav one - talking to ppl on the phone or irl, so i dont want to interrupt it and i wouldnt want them to hear/see me eating.

5) Motivation. U wont do it if ur not motivated. Keep urself aware of how u look, try on clothes that u havr and see which ones are too small, and use this to motivate urself to fit in them. Think about how different everything could be for u in a couple of months if u stay strong now, and compare the situations if u fail. Write a list of things ur doing this for. I personally like to also have a hidden th3nsp folder, and i go back to look at the photos everytime i feel unmotivated and weak.

6) Dont jump into a fast too quickly. For example, if u ate a lot one day, and u decide to start a fast right away, it can make u fail pretty fast. Try to slowly make ur body more used to it, eat 100-200 cals less each day and THEN prepare to start a fast. So many times i made that mistake - started a fast out of nowhere, and my body was just too shocked, so i was way more hungry.

7) Wear a lip product. This might not be the most helpful one, but its just a small tip that works for me. Choose a lip product, bonus points if its scented or has a minty, cooling effect, and wear it. It makes me not want to ruin my lips and i usually choose not to eat when i have it on. Best combination is mint gum and this!

8) Zero drinks. We all know this, so i wont write too much, but zero drinks are usually my choice when i feel like i need smth with flavor, but i dont want any calories in. U have many to choose from.

9) Choose volume eating on the days u eat - instead of eating smth very small that has 300 cals, eat more but with less calories. This way u will feel better, and most likely wont eat even more. (Salads and fruits are heaven sent in that situation.) Always look for smth to switch to a less fat version, it isnt as hard as it seems.

10) Be patient. This is hard for me cuz im such an impatient person and if i could, i would want everything the same hour i start. But why did i make this point? Because if it feels pointless, like its not working, working to slow, just wait a month. U would be shocked how much u can change in just a month.

11) Doing lighter exercise while fasting. Ur already doing enough by fasting, so on those days dont torture urself with very long heavy exercise, even tho ik its tempting, i used to do it, but i would just end up feeling super shaky. U can workout more on the days ur restricting.

12) Parents that force dinners on u - I used to struggle a lot with that. Im older now, so no one can rlly tell me what to do. But i say, if ur parents make u sit down and eat dinner with them, try to make it ur omad. Nothing is really ,,ruined", if u dont think it is and dont start eating even more after, of course.

13) Rewards 🎀 Not food! But u can always set a bunch of goals and reward urself for them, it feels way nicer to do when u have to wait for smth and work for it. Choose a gift for urself and get it when u achieve a specific weight. U can have smaller ones for the small goals and choose smth bigger/more expensive when u hit a bigger goal.

14) Buying one piece of clothing thats too small for u. I had one, even a couple, and it was the greatest motivation ever. It was with my own money, and i felt so pathetic for thinking its too much work for me to just push myself and finally fit into that tiny top.

15) Keeping a journal. I usually do that in my phone notes and lock it. It helps u, u can always look back at it, learn from ur past mistakes and prevent urself from making them again. It can also motivate u! For example i wrote i was unhappy on my bday party cuz i felt too big. That motivated me to look way better on the next one, luckily a long time before the event.

16) Keep one thing in ur head, always - Food is not going to run away, it will be here. The cake ur mom bought, is not the last one u will ever see again, same with ur fav snacks someone brought home. The only thing running away from u is the years u spend unhappy, cause u keep giving in.

Good ♡ Luck !

[nightlyrequiem]

headcanons about jealous, slightly controlling valeria? your writing eats everytime

I love jealous and slightly controlling Valeria...

also thank you :3

Jealous Valeria Headcanons

It doesn't take much for Valeria to feel jealous. She's territorial over everything. Including you. She tries not to make it your problem. She's self-aware enough to recognize that she probably shouldn't be.

But she is. If you're the type of person to wear skimpy or more revealing clothes, she hates it. I mean, she loved it before you started dating because she loves looking at you, but she hates it because other people will look. One of her biggest fears is someone taking that as an invitation to approach you, and you playing into it. Valeria loves you and trusts you to an extent, but she just can't help but worry about you flirting with other people behind her back.

You two have fought over that a few times. when Valeria was feeling particularly testy about an outfit. You're in a relationship, why do you still want to dress like a slut? Valeria knows you're attractive, who else are you trying to impress? By the end you're upset and possibly crying. She feels bad but she doesn't retract her statements. She doesn't stop you from throwing out the outfit she had an issue with.

Valeria also has an issue with your friends. Men? No. Women? Absolutely not. Nonbinary? No. Mostly if they're attractive. If they're people she deems ugly then she's less inclined to be an issue about it. Regardless, she doesn't like it when you hang out with them. If you make plans, she'll try to make you change them. Guilt trip you into staying home. What, do you like them better than her? You got the hots for one of them? Why are you fighting so hard to go be with them?

Valeria has to have the passwords to your phone and social media. She gave you hers so it's only fair. (Except it kind of isn't because she doesn't use social media. she only has the apps you have so she can monitor you.) If you like something or post something she doesn't like she gets all moody. And God forbid you get a random DM. Your account has to be on private. Sometimes, when you're asleep she'll log into your account and go through your followers and who you're following. Removing whoever she sees fit.

You aren't the only one who has to deal with it though. You've lost a few friendships because Valeria went to them without you knowing and threatened them into leaving you. She gets incredibly agitated when you bring it up.

Breaking up doesn't get rid of her either. Break ups are really only temporary breaks in her eyes. If you try to date it won't go over well. She'll do whatever she can to sabotage you. Harming the other girl or threatening to, spreading lies about you, whatever she can to keep you single. If you can't be happy with her you aren't allowed to be happy with anyone else.

And if you somehow manage to get another girlfriend? Oh, Valeria is livid. Valeria will try to charm you back into her life. She doesn't care if you're in a relationship, she had you first. (She is definitely not a girl's girl...) She'll try her hand at emotional manipulation if that doesn't work. "I'm so miserable without you mi Vida..." "I can't sleep knowing you aren't mine anymore..." and the worst "If you don't talk to me I'll hurt myself." She won't. But she's trying to take advantage of that softness in you.

I think some of this is more than slightly controlling but oh well.

[mrs-pianofandom-98]

Can I be good..?

Agatha has always had a tendency to push people away. To deny herself any good because she knows it never last. Even when her girls make it hard for her to try to push…(Currently going through a breakup so you can all suffer with me)

(..Agatha’s thoughts..)

It was a saturday morning agatha had prompted to sleep alone without any of her lovers that night. She just wanted a moment and they all understood knowing they all had those moments. But she hadn’t slept. She knew it was one of her bad nights. She had tossed and turned,got up to redo her lesson plans or to read her text. She knew if she just went to lilia she would make her some tea or to Rio she would hold Agatha till she fell asleep.

But everytime she found the longing or the want to go and see one of them she pulled herself back. She knew she had been closed off and snippy all day,she didn’t think she could go out there and apologize and ask for something..anything to make her head quiet. Because the Agatha Harkness didn’t apoligize when she was the one being annoyed! Annoyed by billy’s constent updates through his classes (she asked him to do) or Jennifers blubbering about her work (Agatha loved the way her eyes lit up when ranting). She was the one allowed to be annoyed!

She groaned as she set up in her bed feeling her head pounding as it was just as fed up as she was. She tried to wipe away the exhaustion as she went downstairs and smelt breakfast. They all were off today, a rare occurrence (Of course she had to have a bad day and ruin it). Lilia was in the kitchen swaying about with her pulled up still in her soft yellow nightgown humming to herself as she flipped the pancakes. Agatha had caught Alice sitting on the counter next to the stove in her white tank top and black sweats looking at Lilia with the same love struck look the investigator gave them all. (She had grown to love that look)

“Morning ags!” Alice said as she looked up at her girlfriend. Usually Agatha would give her a wink or a “good morning dear” but she just hummed as she poured herself a cup of coffee. (Trying to ignore the saddened look Alice had given her) As she looked up at Jennifer and Rio coming downstairs as they had both slept in Jen’s room last night. Jennifer kissed both Lilia and Alice a goodmorning as Rio went over to Agatha as she leaned in but Agatha blocked her by putting up her mug “Not right now you have morning breath.” Agatha said as she walked past Rio into the living room grabbing the paper.

Rio narrowed her eyes at the action “What’s got you so moody amor.” She asked slightly hurt with a hint of annoyance as they knew how agatha got when she was in a mood. Agatha hated (adored) how they knew her actions so well she was so used to being able to make anyone leave her alone.

“Nothing. And I don’t get moody please, that's for the teenager.” She scoffed at the comparison. “Then care to explain why we’ve gotten the backlash of whatever has gotten you into a bitchy mood.” Jennifer questioned as she took a sip of her tea. At this point Agatha noticed the stove was turned off and they all were looking at her.

“Is having a bad headache such a crime jen.” Agatha snipped harsher than she intended. Jennifeir eyes narrowed as she looked at agatha. “It is when you're taking it out on us again.” The way Jennifer said again made agatha tense as she recalled how many times she had done that before but she wasn’t going to admit it. Agatha quickly put up her walls of indifference as she rolled her eyes.

“Whatever do you mean dear,I’m fine.” Agatha knew how much Jennifer hated the condescending and false kind tone Agatha used. Jennifer had stood up from the table walking straight in front of Agatha. “Agatha Please,” she said,her voice softening recognizing agatha's defense. “Your not fine and you know it. You’ve been distant,snappy,and cold. You barley talk,rarely even look at us anymore. It’s like your avoiding us.”

Agatha felt a pain of guilt at Jennifer’s words. She knew it was true but didn’t want to acknowledge the fact she caused this subconsciously on purpose. Agatha looked away, ignoring the lump in her throat. “I’m so sorry I haven't been able to be the perfect partner like all of you jen.” Agatha said harshly as she stood up. Jennifer looked slightly hurt before her eyes narrowed “I said nothing about that Agatha. I didn’t compare you to us! I’m simply-”

Agatha cut her off with a glare and sarcastic smirk “You're simply comparing me to all of you! Simply telling me every way I'm not doing what all of you are right?” Agatha knew she was being unfair but this was how to get them to leave her alone. (Right..) “Agatha you need to calm down.” Lilia interrupted as she looked at the escalating argument. Agatha scoffed as she looked at them all “I’m so sorry I can’t play house everyday. My bad I can’t be the good woman you all claim me to be! Maybe finally you’ll fucking understand I don’t need your dame help! I just need you to leave me alone!” Agatha had repeated the phrases that had been haunting her head since she allowed herself to open to this relationship.

Agatha's eyes were glossy with unshed tears she hid behind with the scowl she was wearing. As she slammed the mug and the paper down and grabbed her coat and keys. “Where are you goi-”Alice tried to ask worriedly but all Agatha did was walk out slamming the door.

(Pt 2?)

[wonsdoll]

A STONER’S GUIDE TO GET THE GIRL › LHS

TIP 8: totally ditch the boys for her

you walk up to the table heeseung was sitting at, he was accompanied by beomgyu and sunghoon. your cheeks flashed shades of pink from embarrassment, hoping you didn’t ruin their day. quickly, the boys eyes gazed on your body, not looking away once. their eyes quickly met with yours.

“hey y/n what’re you doing out here on this nice day?” beomgyu asks, taking a bite of his chocolate chip cookie.

“oh umm.. me and yunjin were about to go shopping, we just wanted some coffee..” you looked at them, hoping to end the conversation quick.

yunjin leans in close to whisper. “i know you want some alone time, i got you.” she pulls back, you turn around and mouth “no”, but you know your best friend can’t take no for an answer.

“hey hoon and gyu.. can you come help me with my car? i need help.” yunjin asks, hoping the two boys would quickly catch up on her signal. the two boys got up from the table “be back hee.” they said, walking behind yunjin ask they leave the cafe.

heeseung leaned back against the chair, glancing at you as you sit in sunghoon’s chair. “you know.. it’s weird how different i feel nowadays.” he looks at you, a soft vulnerable look in his eyes. “ever since i quit, things have been very different.”

you felt your heart melt, remembering the way he confessed the reason as to why he was quitting in the first place. “that’s really great, heeseung.” you smiled, your smile fading out a little. “it’s not an easy thing.. making that choice.”

heeseung smiled shyly, his fingers tracing around the rim of his hot latte cup. “yeah it’s definitely not easy..but uh..” he hesitated for a moment, debating whether he should continue. “i guess i just kept thinking about you.”

you couldn’t help but smile at his words. “well, for the record, i think you’re doing amazing so far.” you reach for his hand, gently squeezing it.

you spent hours talking to heeseung, his eyes never left yours. his gaze of love only grew stronger every time you laughed, everytime your arms touched or the space between you only minimized. soon enough, heeseung was close to you, almost as close as that one night back at his place.

“i missed this.. being with you, and being so close to you.” you confessed, a streak of pink hitting your cheeks as you realized what you had said.

“i miss you too, princess.” heeseung quickly responded, not realizing what he had just said. “i mean..y/n.”

silence quickly grew between you and heeseung, leaving you both staring at each other as the clock ticked slower than it originally was. it was starting to get dark out, soon night took over the once bright blue sky.

“do you wanna go back to my place?” heeseung asks, zero hesitation in his voice.

“yes.” you quickly responded, without even thinking. you heart raced as you had no clue what may happen tonight.

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[ganondoodle]

i have seen people talk about how hard it is to draw anything if you have aphantasia (which is good to talk about and true and valid and also intersting to read and this post isnt to devalue that, two things can coexist etc etc)

i personally struggle with the opposite; i have incredible imagination, i'd say it's my best and only "inate talent", (this is not a brag ..) all stories i think about are movies, i can stop them, change camera angle and poses, rotate ever object however i want, place lighting sound and voices, even styles, i switch from ghibli to botw to fortiches style, even into the style of a comic i recently read which wasnt even animated, the only thing that only works half the time is music-

and that all might sound fantastic, but its a mess, it goes too fast and too quickly, things never play out one way, theres interruption, involuntarily sudden changes to other subjects, i feel like struggling to keep an angry horse on one path, it makes me waste HOURS each day just reversing and redoing a scene like im a movie director wizard in my head, theres no ONE finished version, it changes everytime yet i go back over and over again to make it better, i forget most of it within a few hours anyway; even IRL when someone tells me about a memory and they are not sure if i was with them during it once they start to explain trying to make me remember it instead i will imagine it, in the end i wont be sure if i actually remembered or if i just imagined it too real, it scares me how much i forget and cant remember only for my mind to make shit up, makign me doubt my own memory (its weird how it works, i have horrible geographical memory, when i drive somwhere i have known my entire life i need to remember the path to it by imagining driving it, i remember significant things but not the path to them or how they connect or in what order, i have to go through it in my head every single time)

by far the worst part though is that extreme disconnect between whats in my mind and what i can do, just because i can imagine things like that doesnt mean i can draw it (god i WISH), nothing i have ever drawn is how it was in my head, the few things you get to see are the ones i won the fight against myself with to keep going and say 'good enough' at some point the speed is a problem too, the things playing in my head, sometimes even multiple at the same time, play like, again, a movie, whatever im trying to draw is rarely ONE thing, its a whole scene that plays over and over, i want to draw it all but it wont work bc my mind is too fast and i am too slow, it makes me try to skip ahead and get things done as fast as possible, it NEVER works (also too much, theres so many things in my head, i have almost the entirety of the totk rewrite in my head already, novels worth of lore and story for my other projects, its overwhelming how much is in there that i cannot get out and on paper)

its why comics take me so long to make, why detailed paintings are so rare, its the rare times i can force myself to try and tune out my mind and just work on what is in front of me, usually works for a few hours .. if i can manage to reach that sort of focus at all, its why basic sketches of characters are so much easier to do bc i dont have to fight as hard to just draw a character doing nothing- as soon as i want to make it a sketch page of things and scenes the movies are back and are there to haunt me until i cry and give up after hours of trying to keep up with my mind that i will never be able to catch up to (and this is only about drawing .. )

i know skill and speed increase over time, but i wont ever get to where my mind is, its always ahead and trying to skip and jump towards it only makes me stumble and fall flat on my face- maybe its ADHD, maybe its the autism, maybe its the depression, maybe its just me, maybe its just all of that

what im trying to say is, head full, too much thought, too fast, never able to translate it into viewable things in the way and speed as my head works, i explode

[lady-shadow-and-darkness]

As much as I hate verlaine, I have to admit that the man suffering in the trenches of depression after Rimbaud's death is perfect for my rimlaine.

[introspectivememories]

was it casual when i sat in your lap in public? was it casual when i said "recently my heart is crying because you're leaving"? was it casual when we decided how your last name would fit with mine? ("yuki tsunoda-gasly" / "no tsunoda, only gasly" / "yuki gasly?") was it casual when we sang adele's "someone like you" together at your going away party? was it casual when i knew it was you just by touching your ass? was it casual when i knew it was you by smell alone? was it casual when "will you miss me?" / "for 2-3 minutes maybe" / "i'll take that. even if it's just 2-3 minutes, i'll take that"? was it casual when that bus was completely empty and we still sat right next to each other, all the way in the back? was it casual when i picked you up multiple times so you could dunk a basketball? was it casual when i begged to come over to your house multiple time and then you finally let me and we cooked fried rice together? was it casual when we played christmas twister together and i said "your big eggplant is touching my ass"? was it casual when we were pressed up against each other on a scooter going two miles per hour? was it casual when-