#Everything But You

[creativepawsworld]

Everything But You - Part 9

Pairing = Cillian Murphy x OC

Summary = Things are moving forward for Brie and Cillian. Both have some hard decisions to make. 

Warnings = Language, Grammar, 90s Cillian, Insults, 

Word Count = 3503

Note = We are nearly done...this took a lot longer than I intended but thank you all for sticking with me. I love you all so much. 

Tonight, Cillian was going to tell the boys in the band he was leaving. He had decided that after getting the part of ‘Pig’ in the stage show Disco Pigs, he would focus the majority of his spare time rehearsing.

Instead of touring with the band in hopes of achieving a record label. 

He had been nervous most of the day. Going over exactly what he wanted to say. After forming lasting friendships with some of the boys, his nerves were justified. He was worried their friendship would simply end. 

The year was flying by incredibly fast, we had our first-year, final exams last month. I was apprehensive about receiving the results. I was terrified I had failed them. After not hearing back from Riverdance, I considered that another rejection and my last. I wouldn’t put myself through it again, they simply didn’t want me. 

But If I had failed my exams as well, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. I would be lost. My whole life I had been fighting for both and the thought of receiving nothing, scared me. 

The only thing I could see going right in my life at this moment was my relationship with Cillian. This was something I never saw coming, he appeared out of the blue, capturing my heart. He was something outside of myself that had my heart beating again. 

Cillian was completely unbothered about whether or not he passed the final exam. It was clear law wasn’t for him. I called it the first day we had a class together, he was more interested in getting my attention than he was listening to the lecturer.  

The last few weeks he had spent rehearsing his lines and trying to figure out the best way to approach the complex character that was Darren, aka Pig. I had never seen Cillian so engrossed in something before, not even when he was writing songs or performing on stage. This was different, this was his true passion. 

The first show was in Dublin Theatre in 8 weeks. Cillian had two weeks to get his affairs in order before having to travel from Cork to Dublin for rehearsals. He had six weeks of on stage rehearsals before finally going public for the first. 

He had the option of staying with the other cast members in a house-share type accommodation but decided not to. He liked coming home every night even for 30 minutes just to see me. 

“He’s gonna burn a hole in that floor, tell em to sit down.” Paidi, Cillian’s younger brother commented. 

Looking towards him he was sprawled out on the small sofa provided for the band’s set to play at the local bars during the week. Tonight was The Son’s of Mr Green Genes' last performance, a fact known to the three of us in this room. The other band members had yet to arrive for their sound check. 

I attended Cillian’s house last weekend for Sunday lunch at his mother’s request. After having dinner with my father, his parents felt it was only fair they got to meet the girl, their son had chosen to yield his wild ways. 

The lunch went well, meeting his family was much less awkward than it was meeting Andrew's parents. Cillian’s family were welcoming, whereas I always felt judged and not good enough for Andrew's parents. 

“Cill, maybe sit down for a bit. You are gonna exhausted yourself before your due on stage.” I agreed standing in front of him, stopping him in his tracks. “They are going to be okay. They will either find someone to replace you both, or everyone will go their separate ways.” 

“I just, I feel like I am letting them down.” 

“I would rather you let down everyone in this room and outside it before letting yourself down Cillian.” I smiled placing my hands on either side of his upper arms and rubbing them. 

“Beautiful and smart.” Cillian grinned down at me, leaning down to capture my lips in a short, sweet kiss. Only pulling away at the sounds of his brother’s gag reflex. 

“CILLIAN YOU'RE NEVER GONNA BELIEVE IT.” Casey’s voice suddenly took over the room. 

Stepping away from him I allowed the blonde man to step in, replacing my hands on Cillian’s upper arms. He had one of the biggest smiles I had ever seen. I was used to him constantly scowling, especially when I was around. 

“Acid Kazz is outside and wants to speak to you, man. They are willing to offer a five-album contract record deal if we hit all the right notes tonight.” Casey continued. 

My jaw fell open much like Cillian’s, the two of us staring at his friend. I wasn’t sure if this was some kind of joke or if life was playing a cruel prank on Cillian. Forcing him to make what I considered an impossible decision. 

“Go, go talk to them, man. I swear it’s real. We fucking did it. Finally.” Casey beamed, and with a large smile, he started placing open-hand slaps against Cillian’s chest and back, forcing him out the door and towards whoever was on the other side waiting to talk to him. 

“Congratulations, that’s great news for the band. You must be dancing on air right now.” I smiled shoving my hands into the front pockets of my jeans. I was unsure of what else to do with them. 

“Yeah, it's amazing. Sucks for you though. Cill will be too busy with the band now to spend any time with you.” Casey shrugged off, turning his back to me and taking his bass out of its case. 

Glancing over towards Paidi he shook his head at the bassist before rolling his eyes playfully at me. Being the youngest in the band, no one took him seriously. They just considered him Cillian’s younger brother, easily replaceable if need be. 

“Right...” I trailed off not bothering to respond to the blonde. “Great news for you too, but what are you going to do about school?” I asked Paidi who sighed with a slight shake of his head. 

“Ma will never let me skip out until I finish so I don’t know. Probably have to leave it all behind.” 

“I’m sure you will be missed.” I smiled softly. Much like Cillian, Paidi loved music, he came alive on stage. You could see it in the way his fingers moved along the neck of the guitar or the smile he sent to the crowd every so often. 

“Yeah, but we can find someone to replace you man don’t worry. I met this guy at the bar the other night, he is pretty good.” Casey replied bluntly. 

“Gee thanks, man.” Paidi scoffed. Bringing one hand up to his other, he rubbed along his bicep, hurt evident behind his eyes. 

“I am sure Paidi can at least record one album with you. He was a member when the record label found you after all.” I explained, trying my best not to glare at the older of the two boys. “He will be available after school and most of the summer.” 

“No offence Brianna, but that’s not how bands work. I don’t need a part-time guitarist. It’s been holding us back. The only reason he is in the band is because of Cillian.” 

“Excuse you?” I gasped wide-eyed at the complete audacity this man was showing. I heard of people getting too big for their boots when the prospect of success was in the future but this was ridiculous. 

“Well he is a good guitar player, not bad on the piano either but he is just a kid. We are going to the big leagues now.” 

“You haven’t even got the contract and already you think you're going to go places?” I laughed not quite believing the man standing in front of me.  

“Like I said you haven’t a clue about music. Someone offering you a five-album contract is a pretty big deal. Not like you’ll be around long enough to see that.” Casey snapped, moving forward so he was now standing in front of me. “Cillian will have plenty of women throwing themselves at his feet. You will be nothing more than a distant memory.” 

“Now hang on...” Paidi stood up next to me, immediately jumping to my defence. 

“I don’t see what he sees in you. Average at best.” Casey continued ignoring the younger of the Murphy brothers. “He should have just left you alone after the first night he slept with you. Sluts like you always land on your feet don’t ya”

“What the fuck is your problem?” Paidi growled shoving the blonde back with a hard push of his hand. 

“I’m just telling it how it is. She fucking spread her legs the first chance she got, once a slut always a slut.” 

Pulling Paidi away from the man, I fought against the tears threatening to fall. Shaking my head at him I pushed Paidi towards the corner of the room, quietly asking him not to mention any of this to Cillian until later. 

“Why? Casey is way out of line Brie, he is a fucking cunt.” Paidi glared over my shoulder. 

“He’s not worth it,” I whispered, wiping the few tears that escaped on the sleeve of my jacket. “Look I want Cillian to have a clear perspective going into tonight. If he wants to pursue music great, if not even better but it’s his decision to make. I don’t want anything influencing it”  

“He already decided. He is going to the stage show.” 

“Right but that was before the offer of a record deal Paidi. Let’s just see what happens. Let’s just forget everything for now.” 

*****

Twirling the small red straw in my drink, my mind was miles away. My friends joined me in the main part of the bar. Over the last few months of attending numerous concerts, they found themselves enjoying the music Cillian’s band performed.

“We dreaming of Mr Blue Eyes again.” Billy winked nudging into my side, bringing me back into reality. “He haunts my dreams girl. Those goddamn eyes.”

“They are hypnotic,” Marion commented with a slight nod. She had known Cillian the least but much like the rest of us, felt entranced by his eyes. “Everything okay with you two? You don’t seem yourself?”

“Things with Cillian are great,” I nodded, a small smile pulling at the corner of my lips at the mere mention of his name. “His bandmate on the other hand, not so much.”

“Which one? Who upset our girl?” Billy demanded, slamming his glass onto the bar table. The music from the band drowned out the sharp snap of glass. “I swear if you don’t tell me, I’ll march up on that stage and interrogate each one of them.”

“It’s Casey, the bass player. He’s been against me since Cillian and I got together. He said a few things earlier that just have been playing in my head.”

“Like what?” Aoife asked joining the conversation for the first time. She had disappeared into the bathroom as soon as she sat down, sickness has been plaguing her all week. But being afraid to miss anything, she insisted on coming out tonight.

“The band’s been offered a record deal. Five albums.” I nodded, my eyes not once lifting from the red straw in my glass. “He said Cillian will have women falling at his feet and he would forget all about a slut like me.”

“HE WHAT?” Aoife screeched, gaining only the attention of those standing next to us, or at the near tables. “He actually called you a slut?”

“His words were, sluts like me always land on their feet,” I repeated the words, plaguing my mind for the last hour.

“I’ll fucking kill him”

“Woah wait, wait. What did ole blue eyes say about this?” Billy interrupted holding his hand high into the air, stopping anyone else from speaking until he had finished.

“He doesn’t know.”

“What do you mean he doesn’t know?” Aoife barked back, the anger she was feeling evident on her face.

“I didn’t want him to know. Not until after the performance.”

“Why the fuck would that matter? He can’t talk about you like that? Cillian better not let him off with that” She growled, reaching forward to gulp back a large mouthful of water.

“Because he has enough on his plate at the minute.” I sighed, leaning on the table with my forearms. “The record deal isn’t the only offer Cill’s got. He has been cast as one of the leads in a stage play called Disco Pigs. Guys, he is amazing, honestly. The emotions he can pull from you...he is just brilliant.”

“Someone’s in love.” Billy grinned, placing a gentle hand across my shoulders.

***** 

Clapping and screaming, cheers of praise with Billy. Cillian looked over in our direction shooting a wink in our direction which Billy claimed was for him and him alone. The band took one finally bow before heading off stage, Cillian gestured for me to meet him backstage but I declined. Confusing him. 

“You gonna tell him?” Billy asked, fanning the sweat from his face. Between the amount of bodies in the bar and the unusual heatwave we were experiencing, it felt like we were standing in an oven. 

“Not tonight, I want it to be his night.” 

“Why are you so good?” Billy grinned, “Blue eyes better realise how god damn lucky he is having you by his side.” 

“I’ll be sure to bring it up a few times.” I laughed. The two of us weaved our way through the crowd, back towards the table. Aoife was holding her head while Marion rubbed at her back. “Ef you okay?” 

“Yeah, just need to go home Brie. Sorry.” She groaned, shakily standing to her feet with the help of Marion. 

“I’m just gonna run her home. I’ll be back for you Mr don’t be getting into any trouble.” She pointed at Billy with a smirk. “Are you spending the night with Cill?” 

“Maybe, I’ll see.” I nodded unsure of what his final decision was going to be. He may have decided to stay with the band, let his acting whim go and if that was the case. I didn’t want to be around Casey, especially not tonight.

Saying our goodbyes to the girls. Billy dragged me around the back alley, claiming he was gagging for a smoke. Just as we rounded the corner we came to an immediate stop, raised voices catching our attention instantly. 

“Oh Blue eyes don’t look happy” Billy spoke in a hushed tone. “Looks like someone told him. Who else was in the room with you?” 

“Paidi, Cillian’s little brother.” I whispered cautiously stepping forward. Billy gripped onto my arm, almost as if he was hiding behind me, yet pushing me forward at the same time.

“Fuck you! Who do you think are talking to my girl like that?” Cillian raged. I had never seen such an anger in a man before as he squared up to his taller friend. 

“She won’t always be around for you Cill. Open your fucking eyes.” 

“She supports me much more than you fucking bastards do.” 

“How? By setting you up for failure.” 

“Not failure success. Because of her I am actually doing something that has made me feel alive.” 

“And what’s that? She gives you a good blow job every once in a while and suddenly your the king of the bloody castle.” Casey boosted. Having enough, Cillian’s arm withdrew before coming forward hitting the taller man straight on the jaw, knocking him back on his feet. 

“In case you didn’t get the message. I’m done with the band, so fuck you, fuck the record deal and fuck the band.” Cillian spat, holding his two hands up he flipped off Casey who was now leaning against the bar wall holding his jaw. 

“All this for some slut? Are you having a fucking laugh?” 

“Fucking talk about her like that again and I swear to god I will not be responsible for my actions.” 

“That righ...” Casey provoked. 

Pulling away from Billy I ran towards Cillian placing my hands firmly against his solid chest. I could feel the anger radiating through him, it felt like he was vibrating beneath my hands. 

“He isn’t worth it, hey look at me” I pleaded moving my hands up towards his face, holding him in place. He cast his eyes down to me briefly, his pupils were blown wide with anger. “Look at me, he isn’t worth it.” 

“He can’t call you...” 

“I’ve been called worse. Leave it.” I smiled softly, gently pushing him back towards Billy who helped me turn his solid body around and away from what I would assume was a former friend now. 

“That’s right, go. Throw you career away. Idiot Murphy. You're a fucking idiot.” 

“Throwing away nothing mate” Cillian smirked throwing himself around to face the blonde once more. “You record label means jack shit if I don’t sign it. It’s my songs after all. You got fuck all.” 

Looking up at Cillian, a smugness was slowly replacing his anger. Glancing over at Casey the realisation of Cillian’s words sunk in. The once cocky blonde, now turned pale white, sickly white. 

“Is that true?” I asked looking up at Cillian softly. 

“Take that bitch.” Billy yelled with a large smirk. Shaking my head at him I looked up at Cillian, he just held me close. Wrapping his arm around my shoulders we decided to leave the bar, having enough excitement for the night. 

*****

A few days after the excitement in the bar I was sitting with Cillian inside his bedroom. He was leaving for his Dublin tomorrow to start the stage rehearsals for his play. 

“Are you nervous?” I asked playing with the aglet on my lace of my converse shoe. 

“A little” Cillian nodded smiling softly at me. His hand came over cupping the side of my face, his thumb stroking my cheekbone softly. “But I’m making the right decision I can feel it.” 

“That’s all that matters then.” I whispered leaning into his touch. “I’m gonna miss you.” 

“I’ll miss you too.” Cillian smiled sadly before a mischievous look appeared on his face. “You know the next semester doesn’t start until what late September? You could come with me to Dublin.” 

“Your not serious Cillian what am I suppose to do in Dublin?” I laughed softly but Cillian stepped away from me, really thinking, almost like he was trying to put together all the jigsaw pieces in his head.

“Why not? Its only up the road then we can tour together. It’s only in Dublin for a few weeks then I’m back in Cork before moving to Edinburgh. It’ll be a summer you wont forget.” 

“Cillian...” I trailed off shaking my head softly this was an insane idea. 

“Brie... I love you. I love you alright and I don’t want to be apart from you unless I absolutely have to. You gave me the courage to pursue this dream, come live it with me. It will be you and me.” 

My mouth dropped as he mentioned those three words. Three words I’d never expected him to say. Cillian came over to me grabbing my hands in his, holding them up to his chest so I could feel his heart beating wildly in his chest. 

“I love you Brianna.” 

“I love you to Cillian” I chuckled softly not quite believing what was happening. I wiped the tears away from cheeks, they were happy tears. “I love you so much.” 

I took his head into my hands kissing him passionately. I didn’t care if his brother Paidi walked through the door or not, I didn’t care if his mother walked through the door I was happy. 

“I’ll come on tour with you but I’m not going home after Edinburgh.” I nodded not knowing how I was going to survive. My savings were okay but not enough to last, I would just have to talk to my dad.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” Cillian asked, fighting off an even bigger smile that threatened to spill onto his face. 

“Yeah, it’s not like I am going to Riverdance anytime soon and I always wanted to take a gap year so why the bloody hell not.” I giggled, placing my hands firmly on his chest, ignoring the ringing phone in my pocket. 

“Are you really sure?” He asked, eyes squinting down to see if he could detect any sign of lying. Nodding my head, I pulled away from him briefly to check the caller id on my phone. - unknown. 

“Nothing will stop me going on tour with you Mr Murphy.” I grinned placing my phone back into my pocket before throwing my arms around his shoulders. Pressing our foreheads tightly together, we stared into each other’s eyes. “I’m letting go of Everything but You”

Taglist  

@stars-of-scorpio @lovemissyhoneybee @peakyscillian​ @cillmequick​ @forgottenpeakywriter​ @lyarr24  @brummiereader​

[junglejim4322]

Something that I have noticed is I know almost nobody my age that goes to a food pantry. I know people who regularly run out of money for food and in general have to eat an unsuitable diet because that’s what they can afford and they still don’t go to a food bank, im not sure if it’s because they’re embarrassed or maybe if you didn’t grow up going you don’t know much about it but if you’re financially struggling I really recommend it. And look into other options for food assistance too like community fridges and gardens and other programs that can assist you, where I live Salvation Army pays for an allotted amount of grocery delivery for low income people every month, in the summer farmers take excess produce to the library to be taken by anyone who needs it, etc. There are a LOT of resources for free food that you can look into especially if you are literally not eating because of your financial situation

[heph]

Yall ever think about how Ford had to relearn how to be a normal human being after 30 years of isolation

[littlemut]

[cupcakeshakesnake]

Uncaring

[dirtytransmasc]

the men and boys are innocent too.

we cry "the innocent women and children" to appeal to the masses, to try and force their sympathy, but the men and boys are innocent too.

I have seen sons crying out for their mothers, their fathers, their siblings. I have seen them break down at the loss of their families. I have seen them cling to their dead and grieve.

I have seen fathers cradle their dead children, seen them kiss their faces and hold their little hands. I have seen them faint with grief when asked to identify the dead. I have seen them carry their sons and daughters. I have seen them fasting to provide what little they can for their families.

I have seen men and boys digging through the rubble with just their bare hands, I have seen them comforting strangers, playing with children, rocking them, hushing them, even if the face of such imminent danger. I have seen them cry, seen them grieve, seen them break down into each other's arms, seen them be selfless, beyond selfless, becoming something I don't have a word for.

I have seen the men who are doctors refuse to leave their patients, even when they have no medicine or supplies to give them, even when they're threatened with bombings. I have seen fathers who have lost all their children pick orphans up into their arms and proclaim them their child so they are not alone. I have seen men and boys digging pets out of the rubble.

the men are innocent too. the men and boys are being hurt and killed too. the men and boys are grieving too. the men and boys are scared too. the men and boys are fighting to save their people too. the men and boys deserve to be fought for too.

[hoofpeet]

14 year old artists listen to me right now (gripping you by the shoulders) STOP caring about your "internet presence" right naow. Draw slower and stop trying to boil your art down to an acceptable marketable brand

[gayofficial]

weird freak mutual to weird freak mutual connection

[gibbearish]

love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking

[paintedcrows]

Revelations - Little peek at a longer continuation to my Stan & Bill accidental internet buddies comic!

After the reveal, Stan initially doesn't want to tell Ford his (former) internet best friend was Bill Cipher, because he doesn't want him to worry. Stan later doesn't want to tell Ford because he (and Bill) would rather die.

[inkskinned]

i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".

it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.

do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.

but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.

do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).

you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.

walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.

no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.

do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."

you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.

there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.

i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.

he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

god i love my friends. shout out to people who love their friends. this is a post for friend lovers

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Must be a Sugondese joke.

[symphonyofsilence]

Let the poor man rest.

[mzcain27]

I think game studios should just release their character creators online. For the times when I don’t wanna play the whole game, just the lil dress up part