#Everyone knows Chris Evans is Bisexual but you never had to see him kiss another man do why did Anthony Mackie?

[msclaritea]

Why I won't be watching Captain America. Disney should have recast, when they had the chance, unless this is what they want to push. The Gay Mafia wants to see this perversion onscreen. The rest of the world doesn't.

[babybuckleydiaz]

prompt: the firefam are throwing a fam bbq and bucks parents and eddie’s parents are there too. bucks parents keep making mean and cruel comments about buck but he’s desperate to keep the peace and not “ruin” the party. bucks parents make a comment about buck and eddie and chris and that’s when shit hits the fan. eddie’s parents surprisingly get super protective of buck (maybe pre-relationship buddie or secret buddie??)

okay so, this doesn’t fit the prompt perfectly, but i got carried away. i am so sorry if this isn’t want you were looking for. Buddie isn’t really secret,, the only people who didn’t know were the Buckley parents. also also, did i make Maddie bisexual right at the end of the story because i thought that would be pretty neat? yes i did. I also apologise for any spelling mistakes and grammar errors, there are probably going to be a lot, I struggle to read back what I’ve written so I briefly read over it, if that makes sense. Thank you all so much for reading and thank you to the prompter :)

warnings: homophobia and swearing. the buckleys suck

  “Explain why I let you talk me into this.” There is a tone in Athena’s voice that Bobby can’t quiet decipher when Bobby moves to stand beside his wife, her eyes glued to the Buckley parents with so much dislike. Sighing, Bobby wraps an arm around the woman’s waist and presses a kiss to her cheek because he himself follows her gaze, to where Phillip and Margaret were conversing with Maddie and Chimney. “Because at least here Buck and Maddie are surrounded by their loved ones if anything goes wrong.” Was the response that Athena had been given, and that was honestly the only answer that she had needed as he moves her eyes to find Buck in the ground of people gathered in her backyard. She finds him, of course with Eddie glued to his side, as the young man speaks to Ramon and Helena with an easy smile on his face. Christopher is standing in between his father and Buck, both of the Diaz’s have refused to leave Buck alone the moment that his parents had arrived.

  “Evan, join us.” That had been Phillip’s voice that had called out above the mindless chatter that had taken over the atmosphere and no one misses how Buck seems to talk a calming breath before nodding his head. “Sorry, excuse me.” He politely said to Helena and Ramon, who just smiled at him in an understanding manner before they watch Buck walk away from them; taking the moment to take in the Buckley parents.

  “Why didn’t you tell us you were seeing someone?” Margaret questions, the tone in her voice making it clear that she was annoyed that she had to find out from someone who wasn’t Buck. Frowning, Buck looks over at Maddie who looks so apologetic that the young firefighter can’t find himself being mad at her, he understands when things just slip out. So he shakes his head at his older sister and smiles, to let her know wordlessly that she hadn’t done anything that she needs to be apologetic for.

  “Because honestly it was none of your business.” Simply says Buck, and Eddie has to pretend to cough when the snort that he lets out was a little louder than intended. With a fond yet exasperated look in her eyes, Helena reaches over and gently slaps Eddie on the back of the head while shaking her head good naturally. Buck also seems to have heard the sound, because he gives Eddie a look before rolling his eyes and turning back to his parents who stand before him unhappily. “Neither of you are really in my life, so I didn’t feel the need to share anything.” And it really was as simple as that, he doesn’t have that much to do with his own parents so he never thought to tell them that he had found himself in a relationship with his best friend.

  “Evan Buckley, we are your parents and deserve to know what goes on in your life.” Phillip is obviously angry, and he says it loud enough that everyone seems to fall silent as they turn their attention to the Buckley family with concern in their eyes. It was like they were all waiting for the moment when everything would go south side and hit the fan; ready to jump in if Buck and Maddie need them to jump to their defence. But instead Buck snorts as he shakes his head, because he’s in a good mood and doesn’t want anything; even his parents, to ruin his day nor make a scene in front of his friends and family. “Yeah sure, okay.” Buck responds as he moves away from his parents, obviously done with this conversation already, as he makes his way back to Eddie and Christopher’s side so he can just take a calming breath.

  “You okay, Evan?” That was Helena who had spoken when Buck joins them once again, and she watches as the firefighter shoots her a beaming smile and nod his head. “Yeah, I’m good.” Was all that Buck has to say, briefly looking over to see his parents looking at him with barely hidden annoyance at how they had been spoken to by their son. Buck shares that same beaming smile down at Christopher and kneels in front of him when the young boy tugs on his shirt to get his attention. “What’s up, kiddo.” He patiently asks, Christopher doesn’t say anything and instead moves forward so that he is in Buck’s arms receiving a huge hug from one of his favourite people. “Nothing, just wanted a hug.” Buck can’t help but laugh loudly as he shakes his head, a fond expression on his face as he looks down at the kid he loves as his own. “All you had to do was ask, bud.”

  “He’s going to be a great dad one day.” Karen, who had been watching the scene, whispers to her wife with a fond smile gracing her face and Hen chuckles lowly before she responds. “Oh he already is a dad, babe.” Was what she had responded with and Karen is confused for a split second before she realises that Hen is talking about Christopher and, yeah, he really is that kids second parent. While speaking, Nia begins to struggle in Hen’s arms, obviously wanting to be let go and Hen does what is asked of her and watches as her daughter marches her way over to Buck. “Hey, Buckaroo? Someone wants your hugs too!”

  Buck looks up just in time to see Nia crash heavily into his side, and he laughs as he is knocked onto his butt and then found himself with a lapful, Nia happily giggling as she buries herself against the older man’s chest. “Hi, baby!” Buck happily says, leaning down and kissing the little girl on the top of her head; running a hand up and down her back for a moment. The adults watching them go unnoticed as Buck blows a raspberry at Nia, who squeals a laughter and does one right back; Buck unable to help the beyond happy laugh that escapes his lips.

  “So this is what you do, delude yourself by playing house?”

  For a blissful moment, Buck had completely forgot that his parents were here and was only reminded when he heard the sound of his father’s voice demanding attention. Sighing, Buck takes a deep breath as he pushes himself to his feet with Nia still in his arms as the toddler leans against his chest; unaware of the tension shifting around her. “Can we please not do this here?” Because Buck really doesn’t want to be the reason that the carefree and happy environment turns sour and harsh; nor does he want to have an argument in front of the kids. Phillip stands strong and silent as he looks at his son, then at each of the other people looking between the both of them; and for now he relents.

  And Buck will take that as a win for now.

  Bobby moves over and claps Buck on the shoulder as he passes the younger man, wondering into the house to do something that no one was really bothered about. Buck smiles at his Captain as he disappears into the house. “Hey Bucky?” That was Christopher once against demanding for the attention of the older man, and who was Buck to deny the child that he loved something so simple? “Yeah, kiddo?” Once more, Buck finds himself moving towards the floor and he kneels in front of Christopher; knowing that the kid like to be eye level with the adults that he talks to.

  “When we get home, can we have a movie night?” The request was so damn simple, and Buck can’t help but think about the number of times his own parents shot him down when he asked for anything just as simple. “Hm, did you do your homework from Friday?” The adult questions, but it doesn’t matter because he knows that he will cave and say yes to anything that the kid will ask of him; those damn puppy dog eyes of his. “Yep!” Was the excited announcement that he had got back in return and for a moment Buck can’t help but chuckle as he looks at Christopher with nothing but love and fondness clear in his eyes. “Well then, of course we can buddy.”

  Ramon and Helena exchanged a look that held nothing but acceptance, Eddie catching onto it and unable to help smiling to himself. His parents adore Buck, have since they met back over a year ago. “Yay, you should also totally make us cupcakes.” Christopher adds on, almost as if it was nothing more than an afterthought. “Not today, bud. Maybe another day though.” Buck promises, ruffling Christopher’s hair before he pushes himself up to his feet and brushes the dust or dirt on his knees. That whole time, Buck still has Nia against his hip as if the extra weight didn’t affect him at all; holding onto her so naturally and Eddie can’t help how much his heart swells.

  Parenthood suits Buck.

  “You know, Evan.” Once again any light feelings and happiness feels as though it’s been drained completely out of him when Buck hears his mother’s voice sound up again. “Mum, don’t.” Maddie hisses, but all she gets is a blank look from her mother before her attention is shifted to Buck, who stands and faces her with a small frown. “Oh great, here we go.” Buck mumbles under his breath, Nia looking up at the sound of his voice and blinking at him before she lays her head once more on his chest.

  “If I had a partner who was playing house with another man, and his son I would be upset.”

  “Oh my f-“ Buck was going to swear when he remembered that he had a child in his arms and another standing right beside him who didn’t hesitate in repeating anything that he said. “We’re really going to do this here.” He scoffed, Eddie feeling so bad for Buck because every time he’s having a good time something always seems to go wrong and not in his favour. “Hey May, can you take the kids inside, please?” Buck knows that they were not going to avoid this discussion and argument, so the most that Buck can do is make sure that the kids don’t have to do this.

  “Course, I can.” May says, not hesitating in taking Nia from Buck’s arms and resting the toddler on her hips and then grabbing Christopher’s hand for a moment in support. “Come on, bud. Let’s make those cupcakes.” Buck smiles tightly at her, making a mental note to return the favour for May whenever she needs one next. “You are a saint.” He whispers to her when she passes him, and she throws a wink over her shoulder before she goes inside the house at the same time that Bobby walks out, having no idea what had happened while he was gone.

  “Ed?” Buck questions quickly, because what he is about to say will have to decide on what Eddie’s answer will be to his one word question. “Go for it, I’m good.” Is the response that Buck was hoping he would get, and he nods his head as he turns his back to his partner and faces his parents.

  “I am seeing someone, I’m in a relationship with Eddie. I’m not playing house with another man.” Buck said, everything was out in the open with his parents and he can’t help but wish that he never opened his mouth. He had no idea what his parents were going to say, but it was too late to take them back now that they had been said.

  And the mere seconds that pass feel like hours, everything silent that a pin drop would have been as loud as an explosion in Buck’s ears. He sees his mother look at him with wide eyes, looking at her son as if it were the first time that she had ever seen him. And his father just looks angrier then he had before, something that Buck hadn’t really thought was possible until this moment. “I thought you were over this little rebellion of yours, Evan.” Margaret had said with a sigh as she had lowered her head and pinched the bridge of her nose. Clenching his jaw, Buck remains silent after what his mother had said while anger fills his body quicker than he ever thought would have been possible for him. But he’s pissed off, and this was something that he hated.

  Buck wasn’t someone that liked to feel anger, because once the anger was gone it left him drained to the bone like no other emotion could do.

  “You ruined one family, Evan. You really want to do that to another?”

  Now that is something that Buck had not expected to hear, and he couldn’t help but step back from the words as if they were a physical threat to him. His grown grows deeper as he feels that anger drain from him just as quickly as it had built up. He feels Eddie move to his side, an arm being placed around his waist in support and Buck looks at his boyfriend; who hasn’t hesitated in moving to his side the moment that Buck had stumbled back.

  “Excuse me?!” Both Eddie and Buck’s head whipped around at the sound of Helena’s voice calling out, demanding for all the attention as she steps away from her husband’s side and on the other side of Buck. Both her son and probably-future-son-in-law, both looked confused. It was known to both of them that Ramon and Helena preferred to stay out of other’s businesses, so neither of them had been expecting either of Eddie’s parents to jump into Buck’s defence. “N-No, Helena. It’s okay, it’s fine.” Buck quickly says, pushing down any emotions that he’s feeling as he looks at the older woman with a pleading expression, he really doesn’t want to be the reason that this day ends in an argument.

  “It’s not fine, Evan. They have no right to speak to you the way that they had.” It was Ramon who spoke up this time, but not moving from where he stood just behind the group; and Buck turns slightly to look at him with an expression that he can’t put into words. “Buck never ruined anything, mum! How dare you say that to him?” Maddie butts in, looking well beyond pissed off as she looked at her parents, the anger that she was feeling so clearly visible on her face for all to see. Philip is quick to shut down his daughter, holding his hand up in front of his face, and Buck doesn’t miss how Chimney looked more than tempted to slap that hand away from his partner. “Do not butt in, Maddie. This does not concern you.” Philip says harshly, and Buck had opened his mouth to jump to his sister’s defence, because no one can talk down to his sister in such a way and think that it’s okay.

  “Don’t you dare fucking do that to me.” But Maddie hadn’t given him the chance when she slapped her own father’s hand away, and Buck doesn’t deny that there was so much pride that swells up inside of him when his sister speaks. “I’m grabbing your coats, and both of you are leaving. Neither of you are wanted here.” Chimney is quick to follow Maddie as she waddles off into the house, no doubt trying to calm her down as they leave. “Oh look what you’ve done, Evan.” Phillip hisses, once again unable to take the blame that is solely his and Margaret’s, and placing it on Buck who hasn’t done a single thing wrong. Buck scoffs as he rolls his eyes, having no fight left within him as he ignores as best as he can what his father had just said to him. He really doesn’t want to deal with this anymore.

  “It’s so amazing to me that you’re son ended up as wonderful as he is when you both raised him.”

  It seemed like Helena wasn’t done though as he speaks up once more, the protectiveness and anger written so clearly on her face that not even a blind man would have been able to miss it. She’s angry and she doesn’t want these people to leave before she can give them a peace of her mind. “It’s astounding, actually. You’re children are wonderful despite how cold and cruel the two of you are.” The woman adds on, and Buck can feel how his eyes widen at how easily and quickly Helena has come to his defence over something that she didn’t need to put herself into. “Who the hell do you think you are?” Phillip is left stunned for a moment before he finds his words, confused as to who the hell this woman thought she was to butt into something that didn’t concern her at all.

  “Well hopefully, Evan’s mother-in-law one day.” She responds over her shoulder, giving Eddie a pointed look who rolls his eyes in response. “You’re seriously okay with your son dating another man? Are you not worried about your grandson?”

  “Wow, we love good old homophobia.” Buck mumbles as he rolls his eyes for the hundredth time that day at what had been said by his parents; Eddie lighting tapping his shoulder as if to tell him off for what he said. “At first? No, I wasn’t okay with it. In fact I watched them to break up.” Helena isn’t ashamed to admit what she had originally thought of the relationship when they had been told, because she learnt from everything that happened.

  “But as a parent all I want is my son to be happy, and Edmundo has never been happier than with Evan.” She adds on, hoping that maybe anything that she said today could help the Buckley parents to understand that who their son dates should never be their concern. “And for Christopher? Evan loves that kid like his own, would protect him even at the cost of his own life.” Helena thinks back to the tsunami when she says that, knowing that Buck had done everything that he had in him to try and find Christopher after they got separated.

  “I wouldn’t exactly class Buck as the parenting type.” Margaret obviously thought that she was being quiet, but with the silence that was surrounding them everyone heard what she had to say. And saying that none of them were impressed with what they heard would have been so much more than an understatement.

  “It isn’t like Buck has a reference for what good parenting actually is.” Eddie angrily hisses, he really just can’t stand here and allow anyone to talk about Buck when they didn’t know him what so ever. “But Buck is a fucking amazing father, I’ll have you know.” The dark haired firefighter continues, because he’s seen time and time again how amazing Buck is when it comes to looking after Christopher. “So Buck never ruined my family, because he adds so much to it instead.” Buck can see how annoyed and angry Eddie was getting, he hates it when people diss his family and think that they can get away from it.

  “We’re gonna be back in a moment, I think someone needs at Christopher hug.” Buck excuses himself and Eddie, wanting to give his boyfriend the moment he needed to regain his thoughts and talk to his son. Nothing will ever sooth more than having a huge hug from his adorable son.

  By the time that they’re gone, Maddie is back and throws the coats at Margaret and Phillip, there are tears burning in her eyes but she looks much calmer than before.  “I’ll show you out.” Maddie’s voice is clipped and rough when she speaks, and she doesn’t give either of her parents any time to respond before she tells them to hurry up; urging them to the door. She throws the door open angrily and holds it, watching with eyes so cold as ice until her parents are out of the door.

  “Oh by the way!” Maddie calls out, a small and barely noticeable smirk on her face when her parents turn around to face their daughter. Maddie is leaning against the doorframe, a hand on her belly when she speaks again. “Now is a great time to let you know that I’m bisexual.” She admits, something that she had dreaded for so long in doing seeming easy, because no matter what they think she has a family who will support and love her no matter what. A brother and a partner who love her unconditionally, people who will always watch her back. And when her father opens his mouth, that angered look back on his face does Maddie slam the door with a smile.

  She turns around with that same smile on her face, only to jump back in freight and slap a hand over her chest when she sees Buck standing there with arms crossed over his chest and a smile on his face. “I thought you wanted to wait to tell them?” He questions, and Maddie can only find herself shrugging her shoulders with a sigh as he moves and pulls her brother into a tight hug that he easily returns. “I did, but then I thought fuck it. Might as well.” It was simple to Maddie really, because as long as she had her brother and Chimney by her side she wasn’t scared of what her parents would do or say anymore.

[bl-garbage]

coming out, like in the movies.

There are far too many reasons, wide-ranging and on varied degrees, for why coming out is That One Thing all queer people share in suffering. Yet, in the end, all of these boil down to that one overarching fear: that society will reject us. 

Those who soften the blows of this reality will hold our hands, like Anna does (I love her so much, I fucking do), or will offer a safe space and let us cry it all out, like Ate Judit does. Others simply know and will let us come out of our own accord, like Tito Santi does. 

These are warm instances of comfort, but ultimately they are mere consolations to help us come to terms with our mad realization that we had been ‘different’ all along. That we were unnatural. Sinful. A fraud. A phase. An illness. A mistake. An abomination. A wrong. The elements of horror that society has instilled upon us cast a looming shadow, that which would follow us even as we try our damned hardest to step out into the light. The truly laudable thing about Gaya sa Pelikula is how the show willingly offers an opportunity for introspection, a clearance for one to delve into the trajectory of their own stories.

I myself have never come out. Imagine that. A hundred gay-themed movies, one massive crush on Chris Evans, and a desire to be TayNew’s personal bodyguard later, and I still have not said the word out loud. I know because I keep track. My friends know I like boys, and I have never hidden it to those that truly matter, but the reality is that I have never admitted it either. For good measure, I would often create buffers, perhaps in an attempt to make things more palatable: I talk about boys, in all their chiseled glory, but from time to time I make sure to let someone hear, whoever has an ear, that I too had been in love with a girl ‘back then, when I was a teen, back in high school, I guess’ - which is true anyway. I will not discount that experience. But then here comes the shameful part: ‘So maybe I’m not totally gay,’ I would rationalize. ‘And why not? I could very well be bisexual.’ Or perhaps fluid. Or perhaps I was simply too afraid of a label.

Back then, I had probably already guessed this One Thing about myself, but perhaps as a defense mechanism, I had subconsciously ignored it. To friends now, my official story is that I had been in love with a girl - had expressed so myself and had written things about her and had bought her gifts - but then, eventually realized that I was also capable of liking a boy. This narrative is only partly true. What I leave out is the very real possibility that liking a girl could have very well only been part of this overall journey, one that had just been all too complex to understand for my nascent, horrified self. I was only what, 15, when I was first confronted with the reality that loving a boy was possible. 

(One day I had found myself walking with a boy and realized butterflies had been swarming in my stomach. One day I was much too filled with a desire to message him that maybe things were feeling different. One day my mom caught me with that very message, saved as a draft on the phone, and my desperation may have betrayed my concocted excuse that it was just a joke, mommy, really. Didn’t matter what I said; it was what she said that had stuck with me anyway: In tones of pleas, she said, son, please, don’t. One day my mother and I agreed never to talk about it, but I knew better. There was no joke about all this: not what I felt for that one boy, but what I felt within myself. And a more brutal reality: That there was no way in hell my mother would ever except my truth.) 

I had no one to help me understand. Things did not look the way they were over half a decade ago. Liking a boy seemed so wrong. 

Which is why, I know exactly what Karl felt. Vlad had asked him, “Ano ka (What are you)?” and immediately told Karl that he should not be scared of the word. But the truth is, gay is a scary word. As much as we hate to admit it, being gay means being shunned, facing the worst of the world without any armor. It feels as though walking bare naked, unsheltered, with simple questions otherwise borne out of genuine concern feeling like sharp daggers thrown from all directions. 

Things like these, one does not really get used to. They’re not ones that are suddenly okay, just because another person professes that they accept us. The bravest souls in the community will attest that they, too, fight to have the courage every single day. I recall the coming out video of Dan Howell, who had so perfectly articulated why the word ‘gay’ feels so uncomfortable. To me, ironically, the word seems like a label that, once uttered, would permanently seal me in a box, devoid of any guarantee of an out. What if things changed and I suddenly found myself liking a girl (though I doubt that anymore)? The answer to this is one I already know: that only I hold this decision. Would society then, as I have been so predisposed to believe, think that I had lied, that I had failed to be honest? Even when the honest truth of it all is that doubt and fear are two sides of one coin? To my mind, the word ‘gay’ already seems like a conclusion, and henceforth any acts that I do, the word would hinge itself. What if there’s no eject button? That is the truly horrifying thing.

This is an experience all too common, which is why it resonated with every viewer. Similarly, the experience comes with more aggravating instances: Throughout the whole episode, there was the atmosphere of great unrest, which we all know had been a directorial intention. From the cold open, we are shown a slow motion that signifies how overly conscious Karl was to everything; we are shown the way Karl’s voice had been muted when he was trying to talk to Tito Santi; we are shown just how problems are kept hidden and in secret, as when Ate Judit and Tito Santi were talking over them and Karl just being quiet, silenced, until it was he who had been put on the hot seat, ever so suddenly. 

These people who are supposed to be allies have talked over Karl, drowning out his voice. Only at their own signal did they let Karl talk, and by then, it was to answer the question Karl had dreaded all along. We know they want the best for the boys, but this is important to note just the same: No one must be forced out of the closet. It will only harbor more pains. As expected, this unsettling atmosphere has paved the way for the confrontation we had long known was coming. 

The heartbreaking part is that Vlad understands, so much so that he has been patient. Karl needs to find his own self, just like Vlad did. Just like everyone does. The montage of their own perfect life, lived in a large box that is their apartment, was but a sweet escape, and Vlad knows that. This was their shelter from harm. But a time must come when this has to end and they must come out. What has happened there so far - the dance, the hugs, the kisses, and all the memories - it was all real, but it was also hidden. And if one of you denies it happened, how would you trust your own truth? Vlad had taken the lead, because he had the pass to come in and out of this large box, sharing this precious space with Karl. Yet, it was understandable that Vlad had also been itching to help Karl come out on his own. To Karl, that is the most terrifying thing. When he said, we’re okay, Vlad, okay? he was desperately looking for normalcy, to abort this mission and go back and just - just stop. 

Vlad has been through that, and was all over it. No longer.

Neither of them is to blame. On one hand, you own your truth; and on the other, you can never force one to live a lie and go back into the closet, just so that they may be at your own pace. 

The bold truth about Gaya sa Pelikula’s penultimate episode is this: Neither Karl nor Vlad is wrong. It is they who have been wronged. By a society that has forced each one of us to hide, to man up, to woman up, to believe that the only way of seeing people was on the basis of what's between their legs and not what 's inside their heads. And Ate Judit, Anna, or Tito Santi may try their best, but they can do no more than to assuage the horror that comes with living your own truth.

I cannot stress enough how important shows like Gaya sa Pelikula are. For those who are only in the first laps of this journey of coming out, it can be their console. To me, this is a way of understanding why things came out the way they were. To others, this is a welcome respite. An embrace.

This is the magnificence of Juan Miguel Severo’s love letter to the LGBTQI+ community. This was just masterfully done. I find comfort in Vlad’s own love letter to Karl. I’ll bid goodbye for now, go into a corner of this box, and mull over the choices I've made thus far. (Reader, to be honest: I’m now writing this in my dormitory, in my own box I suppose. For the past six episodes I had been watching the show at home, but now I had to stay in the dorms. I guess, this was fate, too, to help me process my own feelings, alone.) Anyway, for those who have not seen it:

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God, I am just overwhelmed with emotions. Just gonna cry now.

[lilywoood]

Buddie Prompt 4

To my dear fellow creepy gifs hunter @translucent-bisexual hoping you’ll like it ♥️, also tagging @diazbuckleysworld @felicitous-one @cherishingstydia @gxtop

Words count : 1054

Song : Shade of Cool - Lana del Rey

—

He wasn’t what he expected when they hired him, when Bobby called telling him he had a job for him, Eddie first reflex was to refuse, he left this life behind after Shannon left him and Chris alone, he couldn’t afford risk his life for other, he was all Chris had left now.

But Bobby being the powerful convincing bastard he was managed to convince him to take one last job, just one and he’ll never contact him again, never think of him again, never force him to leave Chris again, money was tight, between Chris medical fees and the house lawn Eddie found himself forced to accept.

—-—

At first when Bobby told him he was going to protect Senator Andrew Buckley’s son, Eddie was ready to take back his word and found another job.

Everyone knew Senator Buckley, every normally constituted person hated him, his policy was downright horrible and the way he treated his staff showed exactly what kind of man he was, so of course being the bodyguard of his son wasn’t something Eddie looked forward.

Oh how wrong he was, Evan “Buck” Buckley wasn’t what he’d expected at all, he was persuaded when he arrived that he’ll have to deal with a stuck up, bratty, know it all, dumb daddy’s boy, someone who’ll tell him how to do his job and would look down on him.

Instead he found himself stuck with a careless, reckless and stubborn activist who was trying his hardest to discredit his father and make sure that no one would vote for him.

Their fist encounter was memorable, Eddie was supposed to wait for Buck in his room so that he could introduce himself, he’d waited for half an hour before the other man made his entrance by climbing the window, smiling proudly at a surprised Eddie who quickly regained his composure.

-You must be my new keeper, he smarted throwing his bag at his feet before letting himself in, let see if you gonna break your predecessor record, he grinned, he quit after two month, he laughed.

-I don’t quit, Eddie retorted raising his brow, I’ll follow you everywhere, I’m gonna be your new shadow, he replied with a toothy smile.

——

That’s had been three months ago, right now Eddie was starting to understand why every other bodyguard quitted, Buck was really imaginative, coming with a new escape plan every day, and every day Eddie had to run after him, it was like dealing with a four year old, even Chris seemed to be more mature.

This time though he wasn’t going to let Buck win, he knew the younger man planned to sneak out for another march later that day, he heard him on the phone talking with the other member of his group, he knew they planned to crash Senator Buckley’s speech.

As much as he was on board with Buck’s ideas he couldn’t let the younger man go there, he knew the kind of person who’ll be present at this rally, he knew that those people wouldn’t care if he was their precious Senator son or not, Buck was the enemy and if he were to set foot right there he was sure he wouldn’t be able to protect him properly.

——

He couldn’t believe it, he couldn’t believe that he managed to escape, that he’d been once again ahead of him.‬

‪He stood frozen in his place, going through all the events of the day, trying to find when or how he could have escaped without the security or his colleagues noticing him. ‬

‪Eddie cursed before storing out of the Buckley manor, he needed to think quickly, the speech wasn’t until 9pm meaning he had twenty minutes to get there and stop Buck, he knew that taking the car was totally out of question, it’ll take him longer... ‬

‪He hated motorcycles, he hated them since his accident but he couldn’t do it any other way.‬

‪It took him fifteen minutes to get there and find him, sadly the altercation between Buck’s group and Senator Buckley’s loyal followers had already started, finding his way through the mass Eddie quickly grabbed Buck’s hand and ran as fast as possible to safety, ignoring purposely how the younger man’s hand fit perfectly in his, how the contact of his skin burned his skin, how for the first time he felt alive...‬

‪-You mad at me, Buck asked getting tired of Eddie’s silent treatment.‬

‪-Yes, Eddie responded massaging his temples, what you did was stupid and childish, he added.‬

‪-I know, Buck mumbled, I’m sorry I didn’t think it’ll go this far, he croaked, holding himself.‬

‪-I get why you did it, Eddie reassured patting his knee, I...I’m not a fan of your father either, he avowed, but I’m not your enemy either, he sighed, your safety is all that matter to me, he pursued forcing Buck to meet his gaze, I wouldn’t have forgiven myself if something bad had happened to you, he smiled softly.‬

‪-Don’t say that, Buck whined closing his eyes, stop making me think that you care for me, he prayed.‬

‪-I do care for you, Eddie frowned confused.‬

‪-You care about me because I’m your mission, Buck sadly smiled, you don’t care for me like I care for you, he stated.‬

-I have a son, Eddie blurted, he’s eight and he’s everything to me, he chuckled, I cared deeply for his mother and she left us, taking a deep breath he turned his attention back to the blond, I swore that I’ll never let myself care for someone else as I cared for her, he explained stroking Buck’s cheek, and then, he grinned biting his lips‬

‪-And then, Buck demanded grabbing Eddie’s hand‬

‪-Then I met this reckless senator son who wouldn’t understand that I was trying to protect him, he laughed, I met this dumbass who turned my world upside down, he pursued with teary eyes.‬

‪-I wanted you to catch me, Buck quipped leaning towards him, I wanted you to feel what I feel for you.‬

‪-What do you feel, Eddie murmured leaning too, their lips barely touching, tell me what do you feel Evan, he pleaded. ‬

‪-I love you, he answered closing the distance and pouring himself into that kiss, their first kiss....‬

[thingsyouruinedformestory]

1. Emma

I’m a romantic at heart and up until my junior year of high school, I thought that my fairy tale ending would be with a guy. Imagine my surprise when my first serious relationship was with a girl. I guess part of me always noticed women, but I thought that I was just admiring their beauty as a fellow woman. Turns out that wasn’t the case at all. Emma was my best friend. We bonded over our love for English, sharing books and creating stories through texts. She was my first love, my first real adventure. Our parents weren’t the most supportive, but we made it work. We fought for our love.

We had been dating for a year when I started working at The Baker’s Brew. A whole year of kisses, of hand-holding, of dinner dates, of movies, of cuddling, of “I love you”s. A whole year, and yet I somehow developed a major crush on you.

I mean, come on. Look at you. You’re the most fit person I know and your strong figure is complimented by your towering height. Your short dark hair always manages to slightly stick up in the front no matter how much product you put in it. Add soft brown eyes and a goofy grin. Oh and don’t get me started on your voice. You have the most distinct booming voice that echoes through the restaurant when you speak and no matter how loud and busy the room gets, I can always hear you clearly. And that’s just the physical attributes. You can come off as an asshole with how egotistic you can be on the surface, but inside, you are sweet, funny, caring, and brilliant. To a high school girl, you are the whole package, almost god-like. When I first started working at The Baker’s Brew, you were always there to give me tips, to encourage me, to tease me when I messed up, and to talk to. There was so much to love about you, but the odds were stacked against us: we were coworkers, you were a few years older than me, and we both happened to be in long-term relationships.

We had been working together for about a month when you felt comfortable enough to complain about your girlfriend to me. You clearly were having issues because as I eventually pointed out to you, you just didn’t love her the way she loved you. At that point, you were staying with her in fear of hurting her. Looking back, I can’t believe you actually told me as much as you did. Then again, I also shared quite a bit about my own relationship issues. Emma was very shy and quiet, and she constantly wanted to monopolize my time, clinging onto me until I could hardly breathe. At first, it was sweet because I thought it meant that she just really cared about me, but after a while, I felt smothered. You were able to deduce my unhappiness from what I shared and you would try to tell me that I should break up with her, that the relationship was unhealthy. I didn’t listen because I wanted to be happy with her. I cared about Emma so much and I just wanted to make things work.

Emma picked up on how much I loved my job very quickly between her coming to visit me during my shift, and when we’d have dinner there as a date night. She would never admit it, but she hated The Baker’s Brew. I could tell that she wasn’t happy with how many hours I worked a week and how close I was with everyone there. However, it was very obvious that she did not like you at all. When you both were in the same room, there was always a long uncomfortable silence. You tried being friendly with her at frist, but she returned your kindness with coldness, you eventually gave up. She stopped calling you by your name to me, instead referring to you as Chris, since you reminded her of the multitude of hot and dreamy Chrises in Hollywood (Hemsworth, Evans, Pine, Pratt, etc.). And whenever she saw us interact, she would watch with disdain written all over her face.

In mid-October, we were polishing silverware together after a busy shift when you told me that you had broken up with your girlfriend. I remember being stunned. In the months that followed, we grew closer every shift, bonding over our conversation while polishing silverware and setting tables. You talked about how you wanted to go back to school so that you could finally escape the food industry. I told you about stupid high school drama and how intimidating applying to colleges was. Emma wanted me to go to college with her, and she had applied to my dream school in hopes that we’d both get in and study English together. You disapproved, trying to warn me that the relationship was not going to work out. I had helped you escape your bad relationship, and now you were trying to help me escape mine. Part of me wonders if you had an agenda. Back then, I didn’t think so. Why would you ever go for me? Now, I’m not so sure. Regardless, our friendship grew and it only seemed to drive a wedge between Emma and I.

My sexuality seemed to be the big thing that ruined my relationship in the end. I had a lot of guy friends and Emma loathed them all because she worried that I would grow bored of her and go back to preferring men. Sure, I’ll admit that it was weird being bisexual when I had never had sex with a guy. Emma and I talked about our future together so much that exploring that side of my sexuality seemed impossible. However, her jealousy became too much. I tried to not let it bother me. When one of my closest guy friends Brendon told me that he was in love with me and kissed me, I immediately pulled away and told him that I loved Emma. I even told Emma what had happened, assuring her that everything was fine. She tried forbidding me from seeing him again, which was completely ridiculous. He was still my friend; I wasn’t about to kick him to the curb, especially since we had smoothed things over. Emma hated that I went against her wishes. She hated that I was pulling away from her. And she hated that I was going to you for advice and for reassurance.

It was spring when you told me that you had started seeing a new girl. You talked about her with a wide grin on your face and flushed cheeks. It killed me that I struggled to be happy for you. Maybe if I had broken up with Emma sooner… No. I can’t think like that.

Everything fell apart in the fall, one year after I had started at The Baker’s Brew and a little over two years after Emma and I started dating. Emma had gotten into my dream school, but I hadn’t, so I committed to a semi-nearby school. Things were tense during the summer as we prepared for our futures, trying to figure out how we’d keep our relationship together when we were apart. Then we started school. At first, I resented the school for not being my first choice, but by the end of the first week, I had fallen in love with my new home. I made new amazing friends. I enjoyed my courses and my professors. And I fell in love with the party scene. Meanwhile, Emma and I struggled to see one another, our texts and calls filled with bitterness when plans fell through. My family hosted a party at the end of September to celebrate me starting college. A lot of my relatives were coming to see me and get the scoop on how college was going. I invited Emma, grateful that we’d finally see one another. My mom and I picked her up from the train station, which happens to be down the street from The Baker’s Brew and my mom suggested lunch there so that I could see the coworkers that I hadn’t seen in a month (I had taken time off so that I could settle into school). You greeted me with a big hug, picking me up and spinning me around. Emma sat down and watched silently as my coworkers crowded me, stealing me away from her once again. Of course, you were our server. Aaron helped you bring out our food and you both lingered at the table for a bit, asking me about how the college parties were. They were eager for me to turn 21 so that they could teach me about alcohol properly, but for now, college provided training wheels. I was hesitant to respond because Emma absolutely hated partying and drinking, but you and Aaron eventually pried it out of me, so she listened to me rave about the houses that hosted what seemed like half the campus, blaring music in a dark room with flashing colored lights and dancing students while trying not to spill their beer. I loved it. Emma did not, to the point where she excused herself and went to the bathroom. I remember being confused by the tears I saw in her eyes, and you pointed them out too. You knew you had caused them by bringing up something you knew would upset her. Did you do it on purpose?

The real breaking point came after we finished eating when Aaron brought out a care package that the staff had put together for me. It was silly and sweet with things like a shot glass, a new journal, and some snacks. Those things went unnoticed at first though, because the first thing we all saw was a big pack of condoms. My mom thought it was hysterical, making a joke about how she didn’t want to be a grandma yet. You and Aaron couldn’t stop laughing. And Emma… well Emma couldn’t say anything as she got up from the booth and returned to the bathroom. I didn’t know what to say. You looked at me with what looked like an apologetic look. Aaron cleared his throat and suggested that you grab the check.

Emma still hadn’t come out of the bathroom when I rose to say goodbye to my coworkers. Aaron apologized, saying that it was meant to be a joke. They didn’t realize that Emma would react that way. And then there was you. You hugged me for a long time, commenting on how weird work had been without me. You joked that the new Friday night busser didn’t come close to comparing to me. I assured you that I’d be back soon. When we finally stepped apart, I saw Emma standing by the door with a displeased look. You wished me good luck with her as I headed for the door. I wonder if she could hear your booming voice from the front.

The car ride to my house was silent, as was the majority of the party. Emma sat beside me refusing to look at me. Eventually, I couldn’t take it and I demanded a conversation. We left the party outside to argue in my bathroom. The condoms were brought up first, and I apologized for that even though it wasn’t my fault. She expressed her concern for me partying and being around new people without her. I said that it was ridiculous that she was so against me drinking and going out to the point where she was in tears over it. Why didn’t she trust me to be careful and faithful to her? She tried to tell me that she would get over the drinking; she just needed time to get used to it. I told her that I didn’t want her to change her opinion on something that she felt so strongly about for my sake. From that, all our issues came out on the table. I was so frustrated that this was the first time we really talked about our problems, and it would turn out to be the only time. She said that she didn’t want to talk about it before because she didn’t want to lose me. Acknowledging our problems meant that they were real.

“Besides, you’re already talking about our problems with someone else,” she accused. “You always go to stupid Chris for everything. You talk to fucking Chris about everything and he always knows what to say to you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Right before you go to work, we’ll be talking about how you had a bad day or how something had happened with your mom or whatever, but then you’d go to work and when we’d talk after your shift, you’d be fine because you had already talked to Chris.”

“Why does that even matter?”

Emma then told me about this case study she had read about: Person A and B are in a relationship. A and B start having problems, but instead of talking to B about them, A goes and talks to her friend Person C. Person A and C eventually are able to communicate better than A and B, which ruins A and B’s relationship.

“I tried talking to you about things but you’d shut down or get defensive. How are we supposed to have a conversation when I’m the only one making an effort?”

“I didn’t know what to say to you. I never knew what to say to you, but stupid fucking Chris always knew exactly what to say.”

The argument went from you to Brendon to men in general and how she didn’t trust them to just be friends with me to her trying to control me and hold me back to me as we both made big steps toward our futures. Finally I suggested that we should break up. She begged me to reconsider, tears falling and her voice shaking but I knew we were done. So she walked right out of my life. I haven’t spoken to her since.

None of my family understood what happened. The majority of them didn’t know that Emma and I had been dating, especially the older generations since they were very religious and just would not accept it. My mom didn’t know what to say to me. So I texted you. I guess it only proved Emma’s point, but I didn’t know who else to text. You answered right away, asking for details. I said that we had fought, but I left out what she had said about you. I was crying while texting you, and I told you this. This was my first real breakup. I had just ended a two year relationship. You assured me that it’d be okay.

Flash forward a year and a half to a late evening in June when you, Jason, and I were sitting outside your house on the curb of your cul de sac. We were all pretty drunk at that point and talking about our lives. I can’t remember what the context was that exactly brought about the conversation. I was only half-listening as you gave Jason advice on a girl he was crushing on at work. You grabbed my attention when you made a joke about a scenario with you and I making out. That was the first instance of my feelings resurfacing with the blush on my face. I had left my childish crush in the past since you were so happy with your girlfriend. The conversation eventually shifted to me and my past mistakes, which of course included Emma. You ranted about how much you did not like her and how much she despised you. Being drunk, I hesitantly asked if you knew why she hated you. We never had really acknowledged it and I honestly thought you had no idea about my crush. Much to my surprise, you said yes with a small smile on your face. I remember my cheeks burning red with embarrassment. Jason didn’t get it, and I was forced to admit my past feelings for you. I even said that it was a big reason why we had broken up, bringing up the case study Emma had used against me for the first time to you. I’ll never forget the smile that crossed your face right before you said,

“Well good. I’m glad that I was able to end that terrible relationship for you.”