#Ever Oxygen BD

[everoxygenbd]

[breakfastteatime]

Today's Fallen Order request is 'Washed Up' for @shape-of-your-body

A coughing fit from deep within his lungs tosses Cal into consciousness. He vomits a foul mixture of phlegm, bile and seawater, the force of which leaves him so oxygen deprived he promptly passes out again.

The rasping tide brings him around a second time. The cry of a seabird circles overhead. Cal gets his hands beneath him, feels them sink into the sand. He can do this. He can get up. He –

Why is he alone?

“BD?”

The little droid doesn’t respond.

Adrenaline launches Cal to his feet. He’s on an empty beach, the sky dull, the wind tepid. He’s surrounded by driftwood and has a vague memory of grabbing some when he and BD were out at sea.

He’d really like that to be the last time he ever has to fight anyone in a large body of water, but when the Empire decides an ocean world is actually their ocean world to plunder, someone has to stop them. And stop them they had, taking out their research vessel in such a way it looked like nature itself had fought back. But Cal had been thrown from the ship’s deck and pulled away by the tide before the Mantis could grab him, and now…

“BD!”

His salty skin pulls, lips cracking. He needs to calm down, center himself, reach for the Force and find the little spark of light that is his best friend. He reaches for his comm, only to find it gone. At least his lightsaber is still on his belt. Fishing that out of an ocean would not be fun.

What if BD’s lost in the ocean? What if Cal loses him too?

He takes a deep, slightly crackling breath, and reaches for the Force. It flushes him with warmth and strength, a soft blanket over his pulsing anxiety. Hush. Be still. Reach within.

Mind and body settling, Cal opens his eyes. Many piles of driftwood litter the beach. If Cal washed up here, there’s a good chance BD did too. Cal scrambles to his sea legs, the phantom weight of water pressing against him. He’s unsteady, the compacted sand solid enough but uneven. He wobbles his way across the beach, reaching and reaching with the Force, calling out.

BD doesn’t respond. Cal peers at the shoreline and catches a flash of red light blinking in a pile of driftwood at risk of being pulled back into the ocean. Body hollowed out with fear and exhaustion, Cal staggers onwards.

“I’m coming, BD,” he wheezes. “I’m coming, buddy.”

The water catches the driftwood, pulls it out into the tide. Cal wades out, the water waist deep, to catch the driftwood. He finds BD, lights shimmering in low power mode, caught up under jagged hunks of wood. Cal barely keeps himself from grabbing the wood – he can sense the dregs of the echo regardless (screams, howling winds, roaring water). Instead, he pulls BD free with the Force and has to swim back to shore with BD tucked tightly in one arm. Graceless, bedraggled, Cal rolls onto the beach once more, thoughts of keeping BD safely out of the water giving him the strength he needs to drag them both further up the beach, away from the encroaching tide. He’s over a hefty dune, seagrass surrounding them, before Cal notices he’s fallen over with no hope of getting up. Too tired. He’s too damn tired. How many hours were they at sea? He can’t remember.  He holds BD close, the little pulse of lights telling him BD must have used up nearly all his power to reach the beach.

“I’ve got you,” Cal tells him, curling his body around BD. “You’re safe now.”

He’s not sure when he blacks out. All he knows is when he comes to, he and BD are safely tucked up on the Mantis, BD’s lights pulsing a soft blue again. He’s huddled as close to Cal as he possibly can, recharge cables trailing across the deck.

They’re home, and they’re safe.

[drdemonprince]

ive seen you talk about FIRE/mr money moustache and i am interested in how you balance that with your politics. i ask because i am also interested in FIRE but struggle with the idea of saving 2mil+ to retire early when people need money NOW to survive. not just broadly but even loved ones and community members in my immediate vicinity. i dont mean this in an EXPLAIN YOURSELF sort of way, just so many of the FIRE etc people i find writing about it dont really address this aspect and its something i struggle with internally myself.

Sure, I don't mind speaking about this at all. I wish I more frequently had the occasion to because it's a major special interest of mine.

First, I'm not interested in the saving 2 million dollars (if that were even feasible) school of financial independence/ retire early. I'm more of an adherent to the r/LeanFire, r/BaristaFire type approach of maintaining a consistently very frugal standard of living that is sustainable for me, on a relatively smaller savings, and pursuing a life of relatively little consumption.

I also think that MMM, despite his many flaws, is broadly accurate in stating that when people continuing working all their lives, they also create more ecological devastation by consuming a whole of a hell lot more resources on convenience and burning more fuel, while chasing after a steadily rising living standard set by the norms of their profession. By taking myself out of the workforce sooner rather than later, I will be contributing less to climate change and waste because I'll need fewer convenience meals, fewer car rides, fewer flights, fewer hotel rooms, fewer fancy professional clothes, and so on and so on.

I also spend a lot of time on the Socially Conscious Mustachians group on Facebook, which focuses on investing one's savings in ways that are less ethically problematic. The easy mode version of this is simply putting one's money into index funds that exclude oil companies, gun manufacturers, etc. But honestly, today, with interest rates being as high as they are? It's pretty easy to just sock one's money into a CD or a bond, collect the cool 5.4% interest, and avoid having to contribute to the stock market directly at all. There are even high-yield savings accounts at credit unions that pay out about that much interest these days, and those entities typically do not invest in oil pipelines, BDS targets, or anything all that objectionable.

As for the hoading money while others are in need piece: Well. yeah. that's a difficult ethical challenge that we all must consider. how much can i hold onto for my own wellbeing in the spirit of "putting on one's oxygen mask first" without it being wealth hoarding? how much should i give to other people when i see that they are in need --someone could easily make the case that I have the moral obligation to give away what i have to my very last cent, and I couldn't really argue with them on that. maybe a person should do that. but i'm not going to do it. and of course the effective altruism freakos would counter that if i invest my money and grow it now, i will have more to give to others in the long run than if i cash out now.

realistically, i won't be able to continue working for much longer without having another health episode or worse. i will not qualify for disability benefits because high maskers who have had careers usually do not. and social security's coffers will be entirely drained long before i reach the age to qualify for it. if i enter my non-working years without any resources, someone else will have to worry about me staying housed and medicated and fed.

i tend to think of my retire early stash as my own little private disability benefits fund that will allow me to live safely and will hopefully allow me to take care of other people that i love as we age, and that will give me the freedom from having to do any morally compromising capitalist labor ever again, and only put my energies towards causes that either fulfill me or benefit others.

but it's still rooted in a highly individualistic capitalist system, this holding onto money under my own name and investing it thing. im sure a lot of people would choose instead to sock all of their money into some kind of cooperatively owned communist farm or something, and you know, some day down the line i would love to put money toward a big multi unit building that lots of people i am in community with could live in, with no financial obligations for them. but i dont have anywhere near that kind of scratch. as hannibal buress (that landlord piece of shit) said, "i don't have fuck you money, i have strongly worded email money." and you know, being able to write a strongly worded email to people who would otherwise be exploiting me into another huge burnout does feel good.

thinking that one day i might not work anymore is one of the only things that keeps me going. i am always on the razor's edge of not functioning, i dont think people really realize that, how could they, the mask is there to prevent them seeing it. im beyond privileged to even get to CONSIDER the dream of getting by on my savings for however long human society continues to exist. and it sure would be better if i could extend that kind of freedom and peace of mind to others. my life still feels very precarious and it always has and ive had to be stable for the sake of others for a long time, ive had to be financially responsible for others for a long time. i cling to the idea of FI/RE because it offers me a way to finally break down and be weak. but something more community oriented and interdependent would sure as fuck be better. in the meantime i guess im saving for something like that i could trust enough to give myself over to.

i also have a really strong fetishistic desire to be someone's completely brainwashed sex pet for the entire rest of my life, and having an early retirement account would really help me facilitate that

[heckthis-heckallofthis]

My brain will not let go of this AU so:

CB Cells getting transfused into Friends HC (?)

CB1 refers to the first body, CB2 refers to the second body. Assume none of the main group died because I will not accept this tragedy. They're put in friends for a REASON. If you don't remember their names, here's a Twitter post showing all of them. Read more separator bc this post is LONG.

RBCS + U1196

CB1 cells probably get so traumatized. I can hear AA2153 SCREAMING so loud to try to not to get pulled away into some unknown environment. BD7599 would already have a plan for when this happens and tries to pull both his juniors back, but because he tries to get both of them, it fails and he falls into the syringe anyways.

1196 technically could've escaped (probably was far enough away not to get pulled in) but she can't let AA go, that's her twink. So she goes along anyways.

I'm honestly surprised they never show what it looks like inside the syringe, centrifuge or blood storage. AA would knock on the plastic to try to get back out, he's the last one to pass out from the cold. I don't think they'd be conscious during the centrifuge, but imagine waking up to see you're all bunched up tightly with all your coworkers, that's crazy.

First one to wake up would also be AA, gets up screaming and looking around his surroundings expecting something horrible or grim. Only bad thing he figures out is that the body feels a little colder than he's used to. (Maybe Friends lost a bit too much blood in an accident.)

Wakes up and looks for his friends, CaWF blood cells see him and asks if he's okay (he's as pale as a ghost from how stressed he is) He doesn't hear them and continues looking anyways.

By the time he finds NC8429, BD is already conversing with the native RBCs. He doesn't even notice AA and NC until they tap his shoulder. I bet he'd be so glad they're alive he'd hug them fr.

1196 is killing off the bacteria that hitched a ride with the syringe. When she tries to phagocytose it she hits another neutrophil (2145) who's doing the same thing. They stare at each other for a second before 2145 cuts it in half to share it. 1196 is a little confused but hey, she got some, that's a win in her book.

They all still have a little PTSD so they're all a little flighty, F!RBCs welcome them a lot but AA is searching every capillary, vein and artery for something amiss. NC and BD are both suspicious of being transfused again but aren't as bad as AA. Once F!RBCs explain they were a bit shorthanded from a big bleed they probably stop being so worried about having to work in a bad environment.

CB2 gang have exactly no idea what to expect. They look around and are so confused because that's literally not where they were when they were last in the body. Somehow they got teleported to the entirely other half of the body?? They're in the oxygenated blood vessels despite last holding CO2???

Their map is entirely wrong now, they keep walking into vessels to be met with dead ends where a road should be, and walking into roads with tons of branches when it should be only 1 straight walkway. What confuses them even more now is how there are female RBCs along with only male neutrophils.

They'd also be shocked at how clean the vessels are, no rust, no residue, no scarring. I'm sure they'd figure out eventually they're in a different body.

Once they meet up with CB1 RBCs they rush off to finish their work (if this body needed a transfusion, it must need their help as soon as possible right?) By the end of the day they ran more laps around the body more times than they've ever had in a day because the blood pressure's good and the calves are actually doing their job and pumping blood like they should.

By the end of the day they probably feel so good with how easy it felt to do all of that. They try to do one last round before the lung cells are like "uh, guys? Y'all already finished your quotas for the next week, take a rest." The cells in Friends actually have reasonable work requirements and resting times, so the other RBCs are staring at them weirdly like "why are they going through their quota so fast?" "They want extra income from overtime or something?"

I think AA and DA4901 both try to fight the lung cell on that like "What do you mean?? You guys have oxygen right there, let us take it!!" And the lung cells like "uhh legally I can't do that, your colleagues want to do their job too y'know?"

BD is so pleasantly surprised, he even asks "So I can just, go home?? At 5 pm??" And confusedly the F!Lung cells ask him back "you need to ask for permission??" He pulls NC along with him to go explore the body's facilities and tries to pull AA with him but fails.

QJ0076 and SS1104 pass out on the floor. They're lying there while DA and AA ask around to make SURE that they can't do any more work. Some RBCs walk up to them very concerned that they don't have enough salary to afford an apartment or house and offer them to stay at their place.

At some point some F!RBCs ask for both of their contacts in case they (SS and QJ) need anything in the future. "Contact? What?" And the F!RBCs get even more concerned that they don't even have a phone. They offer to argue with their boss about salary before SS explains they're not native to the body so it's ok.

I think each group will share an apartment together at the start so they won't lose each other and also be able to save more money until they fully establish themselves into the body.

BD and NC already finished exploring the commodities of half the body by the third day while AA is walking and searching for 1196 (little does he know she's patrolling the lymph to get used to the body's vessels and migration routes because she's crashed into walls trying to migrate so many times it's getting embarrassing)

SS would also be exploring the body and maybe read more into the labor laws he never thought could exist, but get distracted by the various shops. QJ is following him and dragging him into various shops filled with delicious looking food

DA is running through the body with NO oxygen in his hands to burn his energy. Accidentally crashing into IM1235 and clamouring to help her pick up her oxygen because when that happens in his old body it'd be a big deal. 1235 tries calming him down because my god he's rushing and so anxious.

"you're one of the blood cells from outside!" And she quickly starts a conversation with him. Asks him if he's got any plans for the day and asks him to deliver her oxygen with her (he's so glad he met her bc of this)

She takes a break and brings him to the spleen but he's still worried about not doing his job enough. BD and NC are there too (by coincidence) they're all super confused by the spleen only having male hosts, DA is fine with it (bisexuality). BD wouldn't mind too much (he just talks to them casually like a guy) and NC wouldn't know what to think. They'd also call him cute.

DA gets distracted only for a bit so 1235 offers to let him deliver her oxygen (her delivering the box and he holds 1 tank of oxygen) Because he isn't used to having the energy to smile at the people he's delivered to, he always has that resting bitch face that scares the hell out of cells. 1235 will look like :D while he's just >: |

Eventually SS and QJ manage to buy a phone for each of themselves, along with urging the others to buy one for themselves too. AA was skeptical until they tell him he can use it to talk to 1196 whenever he wants, in which he then got one without another question.

1196 communicates with 2145 through 0% words and 100% staring and gestures. 3033 watches them like "what the fuck" and 2145 stares back at her and she's like "I know, right?"

AA might get the wrong idea at first bc 1196 is spending a lotta time with him, but it's okay, because 2145 is just helping 1196 integrate with the other neutrophils and explained (once again, without words) that his target is KT Squad leader.

She got a phone super early because HT thought getting her one is less trouble than having to get one of the other neutrophils to send his message to attack. The other neutrophils are super confused about how she detects antigens without a receptor, but eh, they don't judge her much for it.

AA loves to send her pictures everyday, at first he wasn't used to using it, so he kept taking blurry and out of focus images, but eventually got the hang of it and even managing to take selfies. She reacts to them like "wow" and "keep up the work" it sounds unenthusiastic, but she loves them.

QJ and SS fully exploring the limits of their phones spams gifs in the group chat whenever they have the free time (which is almost every day) and bothers DA by spamming him. DA (also not used to the phone) just sends "Stop." @ them (they don't stop)

SS makes fun of DA for not knowing how to use his phone but he's not that much better either, only just a few days ago when the KT squad asked him why his profile was blank when he realized he could change it. Also he's in the KT squad group chat, not because they added him in there but because he asked to be in there and wanted to see what they were talking about.

DA is the type of guy to not understand that to interact with his phone efficiently you just tap it lightly, so he always presses kinda hard into it and complains that it's really inconvenient. I think probably the same thing happens with BD but I think NC (who is way more proficient since he has less experience with ANYTHING so he absorbs knowledge easier) would be able to teach him

By next week they're finally allowed to deliver their own boxes again but their habits really, REALLY die hard. They try not to rush and enjoy the journey but they're already so used to sprinting across the body they think that a light jog is normal pace (it's not) so even though they tried not to Speedrun it, they still manage to finish it faster than what normal rbcs are supposed to do.

What's worse is on their days off, CB2 gang has no idea what to do because they've never had one before. SS is off to terrorize the KT squad again (he's like an even worse drill sergeant but this one isn't bound by the legal system to not mistreat them)

DA is sprinting around the body again until 1235 asks if he wants to join her girls only party. She knows he's not a girl but also, she knows he's kinda lonely so invites him anyways. He gets a silly bow on his head and his nails painted while all the other girls are looking at him a little confused.

"uh… RBC, he's not a girl… is he….?" "Oh no no!! It just sounded like he's never got to do something like this back where he was from so I wanted to show him!!"

He's happy about having a full 24 hour day to relax and have fun without worrying about ANYTHING, even if he is a little paranoid. He doesn't show it on his expression but I'm sure 1235 can tell he likes it. Not sure Abt the other girls tho.

1235 takes a photo with him together and tells him to send it to his friends to show them how much fun he's having. SS calls him a pretty boy while QJ is jealous he didn't get invited. DA still doesn't know how she got the image that she took with her phone, on his phone, and how he sent that image that he didn't take, to his friends.

POV: You are BD7599 asking the other senior RBC's why the spleen and liver only have hosts and no hostesses only to learn that in this body EVERY RBC is into men. Even the male presenting ones. Also you get hit on by other RBC guys.

I don't know which is funnier, making NC just a little gay and figuring out he is because of the hosts in the organs that host RBC's, or making him not into men at all and being stressed out about how to explain that to the super nice and gentlemanly hosts in the various organs.

AA tries out the liver's host bar after a moderate drinking night and has that exact same scene of him when 1196 comes up and covers his boner except he's with a guy instead and he's even more embarrassed.

SS loves minding the KT squad's business. Cross is stressing Abt what to message 3033 and he's like "c'mon, you literally kill for a living, how hard can it be??"

DA writing out things like "Closest glucose shop" "nearest vending machine" in the CB2 group chat bc he's confused.

They learn about video calls and lose their minds. SS tries to show the others the KT cells he's been tormenting but his hand is too shaky to see anything. DA looks like those old people who use a phone for the first time, putting it too close to his face. QJ manages to figure it out but accidentally presses the end call button and can't figure out how to rejoin the call.

Similar thing with CB1 but NC is actually using it properly while he's trying to teach BD how to angle his phone properly, and AA is holding it fine but he keeps aiming it at 1196 bc he loves looking at her.

DA asks around for a map of the body because he's still not used to the vessels and every RBC just advises him to look at his phone (he doesn't know that his phone has a map app) Only when he sees IM1235 open his app up to add in her address does he realize. "THERE WAS A MAP IN HERE THE WHOLE TIME??"

When they deliver to Dendritic cell he shows them ALL his beloved lactic acid bacterium. NC, SS and QJ find it cute and or impressive.

When they deliver to M cell and he spews his apoptosis thing. They turn to stare at DA when he says that he feels like it's barely worth it to keep living. Depending on how healed DA is he'd slap him and tell him to get it together or he'd be like "Yeah."

[sewersidoll]

attract a concerningly toxic, obsessive lover, manifest a legitimate batshit insane lover that is devoted to u n only u

ur lover is morbidly interested in every single detail abt u, they're toxically in love w u to the point where it's sickening

ur lover always threatens they'll k_ll u if u'll ever leave them or think of leaving them

they're insanely needy n clingy, needing u more than they need oxygen to breathe

ur lover is scarily possessive of u, aggressively overprotective of u n incredibly controlling over u as it gives them an insanely euphoric sensation to always keep u at their mercy

ur lover is into some severe, dark kinks like darcyph!lia, s0mnoph!lia, CNC, bd$m, breath play, etc, seeing u all helpless, powerless n submissive to them, turns them on so easily

they luv touching n kissing u all over, claiming u as their own little toy, they luv tying u up, they enjoy degrading n mocking u since u give them the best, most expressive reactions to their terrible behavior towards u, they absolutely vile n nasty, mentally n physically edging u all day long for their own amusement n if they feel generous they'd let u climax

depends on their mood, they'll even overstimulate u sm till u can't talk properly

ur lover is disgustingly shameless, knows all of ur sensitive, soft spots n won't hesitate to push ur buttons whenever they please, they're super intelligent, manipulative n persuasive, knowing how use u to their own advantage, mentally playing w ur mind n psychologically tormenting u

they can be extremely charming when they need smth, wether if it's from u or from others, on the outside they seem pretty normal but they won't bother put that nice act on w u, especially when u two are alone

no nvt november? forget abt it, theyll use u every day, all day if they want to

theyre super s3xual n h0rny, always fantasizing abt u, thinking of ways to ruin n corrupt u

their sadistic nature is on a whole diff level, theyre cruel, they like pvnishing u even when u are not being bratty, it satisfies them to have full control over u in bed

even tho they let their disturbing side take control most of the time, they truly love u n will never think of harming u to the point of no return, they have enough self control to know where u reached ur limits, they'll always make sure u are fine mentally n physically for them

they're absolutely madly in love w u, insanely loyal to u n they care only abt u no matter what, their sheer cruelty n twisted, genuine love for u will never be contradicting as they know u find their insane n playful persona attractive

they will throw a tantrum everytime u are not w them, show obsessive signs like stalking u, writing abt u, drawing u, taking ur things and leaving lovebites on ur skin for them to see

nothing will ever come between u two, ur souls are bound together for eternity

added affs for mutuality, commitment, immunity to third party involved, immunity to cheating, immunity to catch g3nital diseases, etc

no other safety affs added, what u see in the benefits is what u get! pls take care of urself<33

[beaconkoi1]

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[healthcareruhi]

Oxygen Therapy Equipment Market Trend, Growth and Global Opportunity Analysis and Industry Forecast, 2023-2030.

Overview

The global OXYGEN THERAPY EQUIPMENT Market is likely to exhibit steady growth over the forecast period, according to the latest report on Qualiket Research.

The Global Oxygen Therapy Equipment Market was valued at US$ 35.58 Bn in 2022, estimated to reach US$ 60.08 Bn by 2030, with a CAGR of 6.68% from 2023-2030.

The leading players operating in the Oxygen Therapy Equipment market are also studied in the report to provide readers with a comprehensive overview of the competitive landscape in the market. The major strategies used by leading players are studied in the report to provide readers with an idea of what works and what doesn’t, in the Oxygen Therapy Equipment market. Individual key players are analyzed in detail in the report in order to elaborate on their regional analysis and product catalog, providing a clear overview of each major player operating in the Oxygen Therapy Equipment market.

Key Players:

Invacare Corporation,

Chart Industries,

Koninklijke Philips N.V.,

BD,

Smiths Medical,

Teleflex Incorporated,

Fisher & Paykel Healthcare Limited,

Drägerwerk AG & Co. KGaA, Inogen, Inc.

Request A Free Sample: https://qualiketresearch.com/request-sample/Oxygen-Therapy-Equipment-Market/request-sample

Market Segmentation: The scope of the Global Oxygen Therapy Equipment Market covers segmentation based on Product, Type, End User, and Region. Based on Product Type, the market is divided into Bag-Valve Mask and Oxygen Source Equipment. Based on Portability, the market is classified into Portable and Stationary. Based on Application, the market is bifurcated into Asthma, Pneumonia, Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD), Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Cystic Fibrosis, and Others. Regional Analysis: The Global Oxygen Therapy Equipment Market is segmented into 5 main regions, namely North America, Europe, Asia Pacific, Middle East and Africa, and Latin America. North America estimated to hold the major market share during the forecast period, due to respiratory disorders are becoming more common and there being greater healthcare infrastructure. Additionally, the country's per capita health spending has increased and is anticipated to do so over the projected period as a result of the decline in the unemployment rate. Smoking is the main risk factor for the majority of respiratory illnesses. According to estimates from the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), more than 15 out of every 100 US persons who were 18 years of age or older smoked cigarettes in 2016. Due to a rising smoking prevalence and an aging population, COPD cases are predicted to rise in the United States.

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[overwatch-archive]

NEW DETAILS EMERGE ABOUT POSSIBLE FATE OF HORIZON LUNAR COLONY

Atlas News | May 30, 2017

For the first time in years after Horizon Lunar Colony went offline, new information has been revealed as to the fate of the program.

At a press conference today, Lucheng Interstellar revealed the surprising fact that the colony's databases and monitoring systems are still up and running this day. While no direct communication has been established with the facility, the company has successfully retrieved interpersonnel logs sent days and moments before the base lost contact with earth. Below are some of the transmissions Lucheng shared.

BREAKING UPDATE:

Lucheng Interstellar has released its first image of the colony's still-operating integrated monitoring systems. A Lucheng spokesperson told Atlas News the connection is unstable, but the company is working around the clock to gather new information.

Message 01

From: Nevsky To: Winston

Gorillas Confined to Quarters

Just a quick note to let everyone know that I have gone ahead and confined Simon and a few of the other gorillas (you know the ones, the usual troublemakers) to their rooms. Their acting out is getting particularly troublesome and I'm not sure how much longer we can tolerate it. I know no one has any good ideas to address the problem (it seems clear that these reactions are a result of their genetic therapy—and possibly just life here on the colony), but this is a growing problem that we need to tackle head on, or we're going to end up with more cases like Nguyen in the infirmary. Even without the genetic manipulation, the gorillas would be a handful... but the way they arem they are a serious threat we have to take seriously.

In an attempt to show we're not playing favorites with them, I think the rest of the gorillas should be confined to quarters as well.

Message 02

From: Flores To: All

Ventilation System Inspection

Still hearing strange sounds coming through the ventilation system throughout the colony. When are we going to have time to give it a thorough inspection? I'm not sure about the rest of you, but I am fairly attached to having a fully functional supply of oxygen.

Message 03

From: Winston To: Yoshida

RE: Gorillas Confined to Quarters

First off, I agree with your suggestion that we confine all the gorillas to quarters. There aren't many good options. I don't see how trying to send them to earth would be a solution (it's hard to know medically if it would even be a good idea), and the first opportunity for that isn't for a long time from now. But the fact of the matter is that the gorillas are members of the colony, just like you and I. I don't believe there's a magic solution to socializing them. We think of them as teenagers, but they are much more than that.

Obviously we couldn't have predicted such a negative reaction to the genetic therapy. (The fact that not all the gorillas has had the same behavioral changes is curious though.) At the very least, I think we should slow down (and possibly) discontinue their ongoing treatments.

Let's discuss this more at our next executive meeting.

Message 04

From: Zhang To: All

Have You Seen Me?

By the way, is anyone else concerned that it's been almost a week and no one's seen Hammond? His cage has been empty for a week. I guess it's not a big deal to anyone else, but it would be good to have all our test specimens accounted for. I don't know why we ever thought it was a good idea to have smaller test subjects, I completely regret it.

Message 05

From: Winston To: All

*[HIGH PRIORITY] Station Emergency

I need help at airlock E-35 immediately. Emergency malfunction with the airlock, need everyone to come at once, situation is critical. This is not a drill.

Breaking Update

HORIZON LUNAR COLONY

Specimen Training Module

Antenna Gain 38.7 BD

Transmit Frequency 9.3-9.8 GHZ

Wavelength 33.2 CM

—

SPECIMEN STATUS

Tracking:

Speciment 9 — Simon

Speciment 10 — Dyson

Speciment 15 — Calvin

Speciment 20 — Susan

Speciment 23 — Hypatia

Speciment 24 — Marie

Speciment 26 — Ellie

Not Found:

Speciment 8 — Hammond

Speciment 28 — Winston

SCIENTIST STATUS

[hometoursandotherstuff]

This home in Los Osos, California is a case of rich people not knowing what kind of decor they want. Zillow calls it a “Mediterranean Castle.” Whatever. It’s $2.9M and is a study in ostentation. You’ll love it.

Firstly, I wouldn’t want to climb all these steps to get into a house, no matter how they’re illuminated. 

This is outrageous. Who intentionally builds a house w/stairs like this? Where’s the mailbox?

Anyway, let’s imagine that we climbed up to the front door, I’m needing oxygen, and we’re hitting the intercom button on the right. (My house had that same intercom and it was so dated, people made fun of it.)

As soon as we enter the foyer, we can see how confused they are. There’s a big medieval soldier with a serene Zen motif, neither of which is Mediterranean. 

Notice the tile work, the columns (still no Mediterranean) and the bright red carpet.

I’m so confused. The fireplace has gryphons and I thought it was Egyptian, but it’s painted bright red. I give up w/this house, already.

Persian rug, Italian or French statue. 

The Buddha and a Chinese dragon, plus a statue on a Greek column that bears a resemblance to Puss in Boots. Also, more stairs just to get up to the kitchen.

The backsplash isn’t Mediterranean, or is it? I’m so confused.

The dining room. This decor is a League of Nations style.

Now, they tell me there’s an elevator.

Going down more stairs, we pass by some kind of a balcony.

And, out to a very Zen meditation room. 

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a hot tub w/so many jets. I’m afraid of it.

Here’s a bathroom- is that a horse in a coral in the ceiling light? 

Look at the closet doors. Are those posters?

Family room, maybe?

This is the balcony we saw before. There’s a French tapestry.

So, this would be the main bd. 

And, the en suite.

Looks like a home office.

And, a shower.

Another office?  Look at this fireplace. I can’t even.

Well, right about now in the tour, I feel like I need a drink.

WTH is this? 

Wine room? With a stage?

Maybe a guest room.

A studio? 

I guess the rough terrain doesn’t allow for a yard, so there’s a deck. I hate this house.

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2743-Rodman-Dr-Los-Osos-CA-93402/15447453_zpid/?

[fallenjedii]

unforgettable ;  iii of iii.

word count ;  4012. warnings ;  small injury, smutty smut.

previous chapter | END.

  cal was able to convince cere and greez to stay on kashyyyk for a couple of weeks, he wanted to catch up on lost time with you. the two of you were constantly at each other's side, cal even changing your bandages daily. it made you shy when you had to lift your shirt for him to change it, and cal's face would be red each time.

  he's been dying to get a moment alone with you, but as soon as the time comes up, there's a new mission to be completed. this time, saw has you and cal separated. this is your first mission back since your wound reopened, now completely healed with no chance of reopening again. cal looks at you nervously, but you smile.

  "i've been on plenty of missions without you, you know. i can take care of myself." you reassure him quietly, holding his hand. he smiles, nodding in agreement while raising the back of your hand to his lips. he kisses it, causing you to blush. saw clears his throat, gaining attention from the both of you. he finishes debriefing the partisans, then sends everyone to gear up.

  you put on your helmet, grab your blaster, and an electro riot baton. cal raises an eyebrow, noticing it's the same kind that scout troopers use.

  "where did you get that?" he asks playfully, already knowing the answer. you give him an innocent look, smiling like you've never done anything wrong in your entire life.

  "i found it."

  everyone is preparing to depart, but before you head off, cal pulls you aside. he looks worried.

  "is everything alright?" you ask, resting a hand on his cheek. he leans into your touch, hands resting on your waist.

  "what if i lose you again?" his voice trembles, unable to make eye contact with you. he's terrified of something happening to you again, only this time you would be gone for good. the anxiety he feels is crushing him, gently pulling you closer to him by your waist. you gently lift his chin to make him look at you, running your free hand through his hair.

  "i promise to come back to you, cal. i'll come back, and i'll join your crew... and we can do everything together again." your voice is gentle, but reassuring. there's no hint of nervousness or uneasiness in your voice. you're determined to spend the rest of your life with him. this eases most of cal's anxiety, pulling you into his arms for a hug. you hug him back, loving the feeling of his arms around you. you two pull away slightly, faces inches away from each other. he wants to kiss you so badly, but he knows the mission comes first. you know the same.

  the two of you begin to head off in separate directions, but before you're too far apart you call his name. he turns to look at you.

  "i'm counting on you, star boy!" you yell, cupping your hands around your mouth to make sure he hears you. he chuckles.

  "same goes to you, starlight!" the new nickname turns your cheeks red, waving as you depart.

  you've been sent alone to handle a low level situation. a small number of stormtroopers have been spotted loitering in a clearing, and you were to execute them and reinforce any  barriers. cal's purpose was much higher, he was to sweep the former imperial base and hack into the surveillance cameras so only the partisans had control of them. the two of you were far apart from each other.

  you reach the location of the stormtrooper sighting, but see no one. you look confused, scanning the area. the further you walk into the clearing, the more uneasy you get. it's way too quiet.

  "i'm surprised to see you alive, bodyguard."

  you freeze for a moment, instantly recognizing the mechanical voice. you turn, the second sister standing several feet away. you pull out the electro riot baton, taking a stance. you always dreamed of revenge, but you never thought you'd get the chance.

  "i'm full of surprises, as you can see."

  "yes. i expected the jedi, though i don't mind finishing you off before him."

  "i won't let you touch him." the baton sparks to life, earning a chuckle out of the inquisitor.

  "foolish until the very end. i only wish i could see his face when i strike you down. the expression he made on bracca was most satisfying." her lightsaber flares to life, emitting a familiar red hue. you grip your baton tightly.

  "leave him out of this." you spit darkly, surprising the second sister. she smirks under her mask, circling you.

  "ah... i understand now." her voice drips with hostility. "you love him. you're willing to give your life for him. tell me, does he feel the same for you? are you his weakness?"

  she strikes quickly, but you block her attack with the hilt of the baton. you push her backward, watching as she doesn't even stumble. she's quick on her feet.

  "don't you know the jedi code forbids love? it's a weakness to them." she's taunting you, trying to get under your skin. there's a pang in your chest from hearing the information, but you don't let it show. she strikes again, you deflect her once more.

  "so what? even if we can never be together, i will stay by his side to protect him. my love for him is selfless. it's something you wouldn't understand!" this time you charge at her, aiming for her legs with the baton. she's quick to react, stepping to the side and grazing your shoulder with her lightsaber. you grunt, feeling the sting. you don't let it affect you, you've felt much worse.

  she laughs, something that makes you uneasy in the pit of your stomach. she continues to attack, while you deflect and block as much as you can. it's hard to land a hit on her, and you're slowly losing energy.

  cal makes it to the surveillance room easily, making quick work of the wiring and signals that rerouted the footage to the empire. once he finishes up, he looks at the cameras to see various partisans winning in several places.

  "bee woo!!" bd nearly screams, directing his attention to a specific screen. cal looks, his heart dropping. he sees you fighting with the second sister, fear rushing through him. you're not properly equipped to defeat her, he panics. he's terrified of what could happen.

  "hang on, y/n! i'm on my way!" he announces to no one in particular, quickly running off in your direction.

  your stamina is low, you're barely keeping up with the inquisitor. she's relentless, determined to defeat you. she's getting too cocky, creating an opening for you to exploit. you take advantage, quickly swinging the baton to make contact with her waist. the shock is enough to stun her long enough for you to whip out your blaster and aim for her. it grazes her forearm, a groan emitting from her. before she can retaliate, you're both distracted by an incoming imperial ship. the ship hovers above the ground, ramp coming down with the door open. it's another inquisitor you've never seen before.

  "second sister! our presence is needed elsewhere!" they call to her.

  "can't you see i'm busy?!" she growls, motioning towards you. the other inquisitor looks at you, then scoffs.

  "they're not worth the energy! this is urgent!"

  the second sister looks at you for a moment, then bows towards you.

  "you will not be so lucky next time." she makes haste towards the ship, hopping on the ramp and entering through the door. the moment the door closes and the ramp retracts, you collapse on your knees, holding your shoulder. you're exhausted, feeling the dull throbbing of the small injury.

  cal is almost to you, but the anxiety is overwhelming once an imperial ship is seen flying away. he runs as fast as he can, legs feeling like jelly. he reaches the clearing, seeing you on your knees and hunched over.

  "no..." he panics, still running. "bd! go check on them!" as soon as the words leave his mouth, the droid darts off in your direction, reaching you quicker than cal. you notice the beeping, looking up to see bd-1 in front of you.

  "hey, little guy." you smile while bd scans you. he sees your injury, popping a stim up from the top of his head. you take it, injecting it into your wound. you sigh with relief, instantly feeling the throbbing go away. "thank you."

  bd trills happily while you stand. you turn to see cal, who's slowing down his pace to a jog. he's glad to see you're okay, his heart beating faster.

  "hey-" you barely finish your greeting, cal grabbing you by the collar of your shirt and kissing you roughly. you're surprised, you didn't take cal as someone who'd pull you in like that. though caught off guard, you quickly wrap one arm around his waist, your other hand cradling the back of his neck as you press your lips against his.

  the roughness of the kiss fades quickly, turning into something slow and passionate. lips lock together, moving perfectly in sync. his hand leaves your shirt, both hands now resting on your waist as he pulls you flush to him. you gasp into the kiss, cal quickly taking advantage of parted lips to slide his tongue in. you groan softly, now holding him closer as your tongues graze against each other. soft grunts leave him as you gently bite on his lower lip. you two stay interlocked until your lungs burn for air.

  pulling away, he rests his forehead against yours. both of your lips are swollen and wet, chests heaving from the lack of oxygen. he places another kiss on your lips, gentle and innocent. you kiss him back, feeling your heart swell with love. you smile at him, and he smiles at you while looking into your eyes. he loves you, he can't imagine being without you ever again. he wants each and every part of you, regardless of what others have to say.

  "i'm glad you're okay." his voice is soft, brushing his fingers across your cheek. he looks at you with such adoration, it makes your face flush.

  "i'm glad you are too."

  the night begins with a celebration, partisans happy to have a small amount of casualties and no deaths. your arm is wrapped up, slathered in bacta gel. blane said you would be fine in a couple days, as it was a small injury. you and cal watch from afar as partisans and wookiees dance and drink together, a bonfire roaring at the center of the party. you two hold hands, finally taking a moment to yourselves. bd-1 is entertaining the wookiees, cere is chatting with saw while greez cracks bad jokes with some partisans who find them hilarious.

  "follow me, i want to show you something." you tug cal's hand lightly, leading him to a quiet part of the forest. it's teeming with wildlife, sounds of nature ringing throughout. you stop in front of some vines, holding your hands out to present it. "ta da!"

  needless to say, cal is confused on why you've stopped in front of a wall.

  "those are vines..?" he teases, tilting his head slightly. you nod excitedly.

  "watch closely!"

  you pull away the curtain of greenery, revealing a cave that had been redecorated to a hideout. there were several blankets on the ground for padding, a couple of very large pillows, and lights strung up around the walls. it looks very much slept in, a place you came to whenever you had a bad night-- which was nearly every night without cal.

  "this is amazing..." he exclaims, walking in. you follow after him, the vines closing behind you. you take a seat onto the padded floor, motioning him to join you. he crouches down, sitting next to you.

  "i found this within the first couple of weeks i got here. i didn't feel comfortable sharing a room with the other partisans at first, so i slept here for a long time. once i was more familiar with them, i only slept here when i had nightmares, or when i really missed you.." you trail off, eyes looking at your poncho from bracca. there's a hole burnt where your abdomen would be. cal follows your gaze, guilt rushing over him.

  "...i should have just grabbed you and ran. i felt like i abandoned you when the mantis flew away. i beat myself up for months, i still do--"

  "cal."

  he looks at you, your voice calm and unwavering.

  "what happened was not your fault. i don't hold any anger or resentment towards you for that day. my only regret is not following you immediately." your voice is so sincere, it catches cal off guard. his hands tremble, pulling you onto his lap. you straddle him, one leg on each side. you wrap your arms around his neck while his hands rest on your waist.

  "i love you, y/n. i think i always have, i just wish i had told you sooner." his voice is gentle, gazing at you lovingly. you smile, leaning down to close the space between the two of you.

  "i love you too, cal kestis. i always will." you finish by pressing your lips against his, cal immediately returning the kiss. it's gentle, loving. your heart feels like it could burst any moment, your fingers finding your way into his hair. he groans quietly, pulling you further into his lap by your waist. this creates friction against your groin, causing you to moan softly.

  once he hears you moan, cal pulls away to look you in the eyes. there's a new fire in them, something primal. your cheeks burn red seeing him like this, not that you haven't imagined it before. he looks down to your lips, then back up at you as if asking for permission. you respond by kissing him again, rougher this time.

  it's just what he wants, groaning against your lips as he carefully flips you over onto your back. he hovers above you, not breaking the kiss. you can already feel the tension rising in you, soft moans leaving your lips as one of cal's hands trail under your shirt. there's something eating at you though, something the second sister brought up during your altercation. you pull away from him, looking away shyly.

  "what is it, starlight?" he asks, fingers under your chin to pull your face towards his.

  "is it... really against jedi code to love someone?" you ask, sounding dejected. if that was the case, you and cal would never be able to be together-- not how you two wanted to be. cal sighs, forehead resting against yours.

  "...yes."

  your heart sinks, eyes cast downward.

  "but... i think some rules are meant to be broken." he captures your attention again, making eye contact. you've never felt so special, so important. he was willing to risk it all for you-- you smile gently.

  "i love you." you tell him again, brushing a strand of hair away from his face. he chuckles, leaning down again.

  "let me show you how much you mean to me." his voice almost in a whisper, capturing your lips with his own again. you pull him close, craving his touch. his hand makes its way under your shirt again, fingers grazing against your scar. he pulls away, positioning himself so his face was level with your stomach. he lifts your shirt up enough to expose your scar.

  before you can comment on it, he kisses it gently. your entire face feels hot, turning red from his gesture. he kisses further up your body, you help out by removing your shirt. it's cal's turn to blush at your exposed chest, drinking in the sight of you.

  "have i ever mentioned how beautiful you are?" he breathes out, hands on your waist as he kisses on and around your chest.

  "once or twice." you tease, gasping softly at the feeling of his lips against your skin. your hands find the hem of his own shirt, tugging on the fabric. "it's not fair if i'm the only one topless, you know."

  he chuckles, raising his arms so you can discard his top. "i guess you're right."

  you adore the man before you, body littered in healed scars. your fingers trail down his chest, causing him to shiver. "you're gorgeous, cal." you compliment, pulling him down toward you so you can feel his skin against your own.

  you two kiss again, taking it slow as you begin to feel each other up. this is new territory for the both of you, wanting to take time to learn each other's bodies and find out what feels good and what doesn't. cal begins to unbutton your pants, making just enough room to slide his hand down and into your underwear. you blush fiercely, unable to contain the moan that escapes your lips. he breaks the kiss, watching your reactions.

  "is this okay..?" he asks before going any further. you nod, giving him the green light. his eyes don't leave yours, you gaze into them as a finger dips between your folds. you gasp loudly, hips bucking unintentionally. he chuckles, sensing your excitement. he can feel how wet you are already.

  "is this really how i make you feel?" he questions with amazement, repositioning himself further down as he completely removes your pants and underwear. he spreads your legs slowly, gasping at the sight of you. you're suddenly shy, looking away from him.

  "y-yeah..." you barely manage to reply, a guttural moan escaping as cal uses his tongue on you. your hands find their way into his hair, gripping it as you try to keep from bucking into his face. he loves your reaction, his lips closing around your clit as he begins to suck on the bundle of nerves. pleasure quickly washes over you as you moan out his name, praising him.

  "fuck, cal... that feels amazing..!" you moan, encouraging him further. his confidence grows, inserting a finger inside of you again. you tug on his hair, making him moan against you. the sound of his moan only turns you on further, face flushed. he takes his time, using his tongue skillfully while he pumps his finger inside you. you can feel yourself on the edge of orgasm, gripping his hair tighter.

  "c-cal...!" you barely manage, unmistakeable sounds of pleasure escaping. he stops, looking up at you with jade eyes. his lips are wet with your slick, seeing him like that makes you attracted to him more than you already were. he licks his lips, then his finger.

  "you taste good." his voice is husky, low with seduction. he discards his own pants and underwear, leaving you both naked. you both take a moment to look at each other, vulnerable and in love. a thin layer of sweat coats the both of you, hair tousled from previous activities. he smiles at you, kissing your forehead.

  "...are you comfortable with this? is this what you want?" he asks, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. you cup his cheek, smiling at him.

  "yes. you're what i want, and i want you forever, if you'll have me." your touch along his jawline is gentle, bringing him in for a quick kiss. he smiles, nuzzling your face for a moment.

  "you're all i've ever wanted, and more."

  he adjusts himself between your legs, the tip of his shaft pressed against your entrance. he looks up at you, you nod in response to his silent question. he slowly pushes himself inside of you, both of you groaning loudly. your walls are tight around his dick, and he fills you up satisfyingly. you both don't move for a few minutes, adjusting to the feeling. you quietly ask him to move, and he pulls out slightly, only to thrust back into you. his moan is loud, primal. you can see something in him take over as he firmly grabs your hips and picks up the pace.

 "ah, feels good... so good...!" you manage to say between moans, moving your hips in time with his. you've imagined what this moment with him might be like, but it's better than anything you could have ever dreamed of. the feeling of him thrusting in and out of you is erotic, feeling a pleasurable burn as he stretches you out.

  "fuck... you feel amazing..." he groans under his breath, resting his head against your shoulder as his nails dig into your waist. the sound of him fucking you echos throughout the cave, only fueling his fire. he's wanted you like this for so long, and the fact that it's actually happening is something he's not completely over. feeling your hips slam against him as he thrusts into is more than he can take.

  "look at me." he commands, moving his head to where he can look at you directly. you obey, locking eyes with him as he fucks you. the faces you're making are gorgeous, and the way he's looking at you is more than you can handle.

  "i... i-i love you..!" you exclaim as he thrusts into you faster and deeper, feeling your orgasm build up once more. he smirks, taking your chin with his fingertips while brushing over your lips with his thumb.

   "i love you, too." his lips crash onto yours as his pace becomes erratic. he's close to release, his vision becoming hazy from the pleasure. you two moan wantonly into each other's mouths, on the edge of release.

  "i'm gonna cum... fuck..." he mumbles against your lips, hips stuttering. you drag your nails down his back, leaving trails of red down pale skin.

  "me too... don't stop..." you whine, one arm around his shoulder while your other hand tangles itself in his hair. he obliges, pounding into you roughly. you call out his name loudly, your orgasm rushing through you in powerful waves. you swear your vision goes white from the sheer pleasure, your body trembling. cal isn't far behind you as he cums inside of you, his own orgasm causing him to groan out your name. you ride through your orgasms together, thrusts becoming lazy and slow. he kisses along your collarbone, then up your jawline and to your lips. your chest heaves, exhausted. he pulls out of you, both parties feeling extremely satisfied. cal looks at you with gentle eyes.

  "i want you to be my partner, y/n. now and forever." he brushes his fingers against your cheek, you lean into his touch.

  "are you proposing to me right now?" you tease, adoring the freckles that were littered across his face.

  "not yet, but in the future i will." he chuckles, bringing your hand to his lips to kiss your knuckles.

  "well, i'll say yes to being your partner... and to the future proposal." you giggle, cheeks turning red. cal laughs along with you, he hasn't felt so complete in such a long time. you were a piece he was missing for so long, as he was a piece of you. you two completed two halves of a whole, an unforgettable bond. you fall asleep in each other's arms, both of you finally getting a deep, restful sleep.

  in the morning you say goodbye to the partisans. they're sad to see you go, but they know your place is with cal. cere and greez accept you quickly, especially since cal has become a whole new person to them. he smiles more, is playful, and dedicated to the mission ahead of him. when the mantis lands on zeffo, you walk out of the ship hand in hand. bd rests on cal's shoulder, ready for the exciting adventures ahead with his two companions.

  "ready, starlight?" cal asks, smiling brightly. you return the smile, squeezing his hand in yours.

  "take me away, star boy."

[ironhoshi]

Don’t you want to be strong?

[So angst it is, warning: this isn’t fluffy at all. Cal Kestis. Darth Vader. Unwanted memories.]

His eyes couldn’t quite comprehend what he was seeing, or rather, they didn’t want to comprehend. The ground was dripping in red, redder than his hair could ever hope to become, and he could only stumble back a step as he brought a gloved hand to his mouth.

No.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. This wasn’t anything he had ever wanted to see again. A faint trill of concern barely brushed the surface of his shock and Cal raised his free hand to place it gently on BD. The stench was violent, but the emotions that were curling towards him were so much worse. He shuffled back a few steps, a futile attempt at putting distance between himself and the air that was screaming. 

There was so much screaming in his head. 

The limbs were contorted, the eyes empty, and each and every helmet was cracked down the middle. Something violent had happened to these Imps, something that wasn’t his blade. He would never have been so ruthless- 

Cal choked on the cold as he tried not to see clones in his mind. 

”You need to eat, vod.”

“You got it this time for sure, Cal!” 

“Here, put your hand in the red paint and then on my pauldron.” 

“You’re one of us, Commander.” “Good soldiers follow orders.”

“He’s in the vents!” “Kill on sight, he can’t live!” “TRAITOR!”

Cold slammed into him and he felt like if he exhaled now that he would be able to see each droplet of oxygen leaving his lungs. BD screeched in warning and Cal reacted without thinking. The hilt of his lightsaber flew into his hand, with a flick of his wrist he ignited both purple blades. They cut through the air with a hiss that echoed in his ears. 

“How could you,” he yelled as the tell-tale breathing filled his very being. Each mechanical exhale made his heart stutter. “They were your soldiers!” “They were nothing, Padawan,” the cold voice wrapped around him like a vine. Cal choked on a sob, holding back the emotion as he brought his blade up between him and the Sith Lord. “Not even as good as the originals. You know this, you’ve killed them. How easily you’ve given into your hate for what those helmets mean.” “No,” he snapped while fear began to grip the edges of his mind. 

“You would be wise to surrender and do as I say, Cal Kestis. I won’t ask a third time.” “Yeah...probably,” he spun the blade and crouched down low as he waited for the fight he knew he’d barely survive. The first time he had won was only thanks to having an ocean to drop on Darth Vader, the second time he had thrown himself off a waterfall. This time? He only had the bodies of mutilated stormtroopers around him. He wasn’t going to fling dead bodies at Vader, he wouldn’t be so disrespectful. “But again, I think I’ll pass.” BD chirped his agreement and the air around him grew somehow colder. 

The red blade was like a blemish against his vision and he shifted his grip on his own lightsaber without thinking. That blade, wielded by that person, was going to cause him so much pain.

“Kestis, Padawan, I did it for you.” Did what? Cal was caught completely caught off guard and couldn’t hide the confusion on his face. What in karking Hell could Darth Vader have done for him? Besides attempting to kill him each time they ran into each other, which was increasing drastically. It was like the Sith was hunting him or something- a thought that was not pleasant at all. A cruel laugh escaped the monster in front of him before the man motioned to the carnage that surrounded them. “I killed them all for you.”

He had killed the soldiers for him and, in some way; he realized it was because of the armor. He had killed every single person because they wore the armor that hurt Cal to see.

He looked at a trooper and he saw the clones that had treated him like a little brother, like family. They had wanted him.

He saw the clones that snuck him candy when he was upset over failing yet another lesson with his Master. 

He saw the clones that had turned their blasters on him without any word.

He saw the clones he had loved and hated.

Cal’s arm trembled as he shifted back another step. “No, no! Don’t- you didn’t do this for me! I didn’t ask for this, any of this! They trusted you!” “And you trusted your clones, your family, didn’t you, Cal Kestis? Where did that get you? Abandoned. You know how easy it is for someone to betray you.”

”The only good Jedi is a dead Jedi!”

“Stop!” It made so much more sense when Darth Vader was trying to kill him and now he was left floundering. Why wasn’t the monster trying to kill him? Why was he trying to put tiny cracks into the sides of his heart so he slowly bled out with each breath? 

“We will beat the Seppies, don’t you worry, vod.”

“All you have to do, all you ever had to do, is stand by my side and you can stop this from happening again. You can protect everyone. All it takes is one single step forward, Padawan. Don’t you want to protect everyone? I can make you strong enough.” BD started swearing colorfully and Cal found himself rooted to the spot. 

“We’ve got your back, Commander.” 

[meibemeibelline]

part 3 (FINAL) of highlights from that 32k word doc i wrote when i marathoned gazette songs (2012-2018)

PART 1 | PART 2

once again:

This is a combo of thoughts on music, lyrics and other random things I wrote while listening. Not every song will be featured, sorry.

I sometimes directly quote translations and when I do, I’ll specify whose it was. Here are the masterposts of lyrics by Heresiarchy , Defective Tragedy and Trauma Radio

I will write song titles for which there are warnings in bold and all caps

So this part will be a bit different because mental health and The Band became really prominent themes in their music in a way it wasn’t really before, so rather than simply writing about songs as they come, I do (attempt to) connect some dots between songs and albums

Also this is REALLY LONG (~5k words)

If you read any of these posts, thank you <3

CONTENT WARNINGS: murder (In Blossom), reference to abuse (In Blossom), suicide/suicidal thoughts (Kagefumi, Deux/Blemish), reference to PTSD (Incubus). Overall LOTS of discussions about mental health.

buckle up folks it’s gonna be a long one

So I listened to Division according to the limited edition version where the songs got split into the ‘story-like songs’ and the ‘hype songs’. Just while we’re on that, I like to think that Vein is the story part because these songs (the blood) are meant to go TO our hearts, while Artery, which is the ‘raw emotion’, is the heart doing the talking and supplying the oxygen that will do its thing. LIKE HEADBANGING.

“Ibitsu is not the first song they’ve written about changes in the music industry, but it’s quite different from others like 13Stairs[-]1 and Dim Scene. They were quite angry about the state of things, lamenting it. But here, Ruki is writing his and the band’s place in all of that. It’s like in the other two songs he’s like, “wow look at all this rubble. This sucks.” But in Ibitsu he’s writing about how he’s also in that rubble and thinks about what HE feels about it in relation to himself and the GazettE. And I find that quite interesting. Also hell YES imagery – skies as ideals, the world around them collapsing into ruin, the band as a flower amidst the rubble that can’t reach the sky. It sounds like he’s trying to navigate how he’s supposed to move forward when his ideals and what’s happening in the industry oppose each other quite a lot. He doesn’t reach an answer in this song and ends by asking whether it is actually in ruins or whether he’s just afraid of change, I think.” - interestingly, he uses this same imagery in Kuroku Sunda Sora to Zangai to Katahane to write about anxiety and not feeling good enough.

Quick disclaimer on KAGEFUMI: I do want to say first that I’m talking about this purely as a piece of art. Not as in, like, “this is peak romance”, but just as an artwork I can have Opinions™ about, even if they’re possibly in disagreement with that of the creator. “The shadow tag metaphor for a couple committing double suicide meaning that they’re ‘becoming one’ and being together in death is A Lot. There’s an incredibly strong belief in an afterlife where they can be together makes (what Ruki describes) this stronger bond between them that literally lasts or even transcends the boundaries between life and death, rather than a tragic end (unlike Tokyo Shinjuu). Musically, I love this song and think it’s gorgeous, the way it’s sad yet hopeful. We over here with that bittersweet stuff again but lyrically it’s a WILDLY different route than others before it.”

“Yoin is such a heavy end to disc 1. The ending lines, “The sea of loss / Understanding of helplessness / That day we grieved” about the Tohoku earthquake/tsunami and the nuclear disaster is just so ……. And not only that, but how even though people still struggle to survive, people are moving on like it’s a thing of the past. It’s SO heavy.” (Cr: Defective Tragedy)

“I think [Derangement] is about a massive internal struggle between wanting longing for the past, knowing it won’t come back, but also wanting to destroy the past out of self-hatred. There are aspects of the past, perhaps ambition and drive for example, that are good, but other parts that are not. It’s almost like a continuation of Remember the Urge but like…angrier and with more hatred towards his own past rather than only the longing of it. Which is also really interesting.” – this is definitely one of the themes that comes up A LOT from now, ESPECIALLY in Ninth. We’ll get to that.

“IS KAI GOOD??? That man is NOT human. I swear to god his drums in Required Malfunction are INSANE. ANYWAY, this song is about how people cannot be perfect and we all have flaws, especially in the context of relationships. I like that even though people argue and butt heads sometimes, there’s that Japanese verse where he sings “Let’s send a song without stains / to that innocence without lies / so you can swallow those wounds” and the last lines “Because you are always here, I can advance” to mean like…them being together can ultimately make them better and it can be a good relationship (if they work on it, imo). Also, I love the language he uses here – viruses and malfunctions and inputs – a very non-human way to write about human relationships.” (Cr: Trauma Radio)

(Dripping Insanity) “Solitude drenched in red laughs / in the insanity dripping in silence” is SUCH a good line yes hello I appreciate this. (Cr: Heresiarchy)

“EYYY HAVEN’T HEARD FORBIDDEN BEAVER IN FOREVER. At first I was wondering if this might be judgmental but honestly? I think this is satirical, especially from the line “May the truth you spew on taboos going frantically around / Shred the rhythm of high society”. Like the fact they’re gossiping about a famous woman who has a lot of sex and just TARNISHING her name bc of it, to Ruki, is a load of bullshit. Also, some of the lyrics in the chorus are funny coming from Ruki – “She has a sex addiction / Bang! Bang! / Cute luv machine” – like he does NOT ever write like this and this song is just a huge satirical joke I’m YELLING.” (Cr: Heresiarchy)

“The transition from Malformed Box to Inside Beast >>>>”

“[Inside Beast] is definitely about having a ‘beast’ inside you that’s like all your demons and ugly feelings and to let them all out. He wrote about demons in Derangement, but the way he writes about acceptance is like…empowering and freeing. Not necessarily through words but through the music and just how hard this song slaps.”

“I really love the lyrics of [Until it Burns Out] and its whole thing about valuing the time they have as a band and to be together making music precisely because it’s going to end someday, and it’s going to be their last shot at living their dreams, which is to make music and perform TOGETHER as the GazettE. Like that’s so meaningful, and powerful in the way they just…grab it by the fucking throat. Breaking down the walls that hold them back, TOGETHER, towards the future in which they see their dreams. Like they’re not letting this be the end. They won’t allow it. UGH. UGHHH. The middle eight is so beautiful and I love the lines “The light that colours this irreplaceable scenery / burns the significance of standing here into me / Until the last” like they just love performing SO MUCH UGGGHHH FEELINGS”. (Cr: Trauma Radio)

“[REDO] IS SO GODDAMN SENTIMENTAL I’M IN MY FEELINGSSSSS. Kai being the composer, I can’t help but feel this is him paying homage to jazz, which is the music his mother plays and he loves her so so much. I’m probably reaching but THAT’S JUST HOW I FEEL.”

“EVERBODY SHUT UPPPP IT’S LAST HEAVEN TIMEEEE. It’s so gd gorgeous and sweet. I’M GETTING REALLY EMO WHAT THE FUCKKKK. BRUH. BRUUUUHHH. THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL //THROWS. SHUT UPPPP. TOO MANY SKY, STAR AND FOREVER REFERENCES FOR THIS TO BE OKAY BITCH. This is Ruki’s love song to the cosmos, wishing to be eternal like the stars but acknowledging that all he can do is chase it knowing his life will end, BUT THAT THEY DON’T HAVE TO GRIEVE BECAUSE THEY WILL MEET AGAIN IN THE AFTERLIFE BECAUSE IN SOME WAY WE /ARE/ ETERNAL. IT’S LOVING AND INNOCENT AND WISTFUL. This song is the goddess to all the GazettE love songs. THANKS FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK. “The distant sky, this infinite moment / I now wish from the visible stars / in this youthful merry-go-round / that continues to turn endlessly / I want to be eternal like you” – is just…such a beautiful image. “Let’s stay like this, having dreams we cannot reach / Long road which leads to the calm hill / I go, leaving my sadness behind / Good night…my beloved / Last heaven of mine” – it’s yearning but it’s the yearning for LIFE. And to leave behind sadness…Ruki very rarely writes about pain like this. And to call the ‘beloved’ his last heaven, the last thing in his life that’s just THE BEST THING THAT’S EVER HAPPENED TO HIM AND THE THING HE WANTS TO BE ETERNAL WITH goodbye………GOODBYE. “Love without shape changing day by day / Close together / we become / one shooting star” – AAAHHH AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH. Also, for him to say ‘memento mori’ which means “Remember, you must die” in the middle eight of a song about wanting to be eternal just gives the entire sentiment a new meaning ;-;” (Cr: Trauma Radio)

“There’s a particular sound to Division and Beautiful Deformity (but more in BD). It sounds like rushing water. Loss in particular sounds like this. Like, the sound isn’t just ‘dark’ and ‘heavy’, it moves A LOT and there is sooo much emotionality in the songs on this album. It’s really dynamic.”

“The Stupid Tiny Insect revisits the theme of inner demons. Specifically, in this song it sounds like negative internal self-talk. It’s interesting though, the way that Ruki writes it as an entirely separate being to how he writes inner demons and whatnot in other songs, where it’s either another entity within a person that is part of them OR just…themselves. Here, they are VERY separate, and that probably allows him to feel and express rage instead of helplessness or confusion. I also love the reference to pretending to be okay – “I get high on delusion / And act as if I made them die out / ‘Just like a summer moth to a flame”.” (Cr: Heresiarchy)

“IN BLOSSOM is pretty fucking brilliant lyrically imo. It reminds me a lot of 32 Koukei no Pistol in that a protagonist who was abused/neglected by the parents kills them, and in the latter’s case only, also themselves. Some other differences: In Blossom is WAY angrier (and a lot more loaded) and the protagonist is trying to ‘make their own life’ (even if the way they choose to do that DOESN’T WORK), whereas the narrator in 32 Calibre Pistol was mostly lamenting that they’ve ‘lost their way’ and deep-down were wishing for their family to be happy together. I can’t say WHY that is. But it’s interesting that in In Blossom, the abuse just…DESTROYED their concept of family that they used to believe in entirely, and the fact they cannot separate themselves from their abusers neither by dying nor killing them is A Lot. So, they try to free themselves and ‘get hope’ by killing their abusers as revenge (“Die away, along with these wounds I’d counted”), but it doesn’t bring them happiness or heal them (“Even if I slash so much it’s unparalleled by the wounds I’d counted, it still starts to ache / It doesn’t even fight off the decay, much less heal me”). It’s very much saying that despite pain, revenge is not the answer. I also love the line “They adorn vividly – have blossomed beautifully / The sun that has started to set makes sure of it” to describe the wounds as the narrator kills their abusers and their loss of sanity as they do so.” (Cr: Heresiarchy)

“To Dazzling Darkness is about that moment when a concert is over and the lights start to come on. It’s so gorgeous. This is sort of like, the other side of Until it Burns Out. If UIBO is about the band then TDD is about the fans, and the band’s place in the world. I love the imagery in the first verse – darkness is usually associated with bad things, but here darkness is peace, escapism and unity that are part of the happiness of a concert, while the light symbolises the continuation of life. The scenery here is the same scenery in UIBO, which is the scenery of a concert that this band cherishes. There’s also the acknowledgement that time is fleeting and nothing is forever. Like, this is really the other side of the coin and I love it.”

“Dogma defines their new (2015) sound so well, which is HEAVY AND DIRTY AS FUCK. Like, it is SO conceptual and experimental and the painting is just GORGEOUS. I love the harpsichord in this song – as the predecessor of the piano, it was used in a lot of churches and religious music in the Baroque period (1600-1750ish), so using it here in a song where the band is likened to idols (the religious type) is super cool. And to combine it with these really low and heavy guitars just gives the DARKEST image.

And there’s so much going on in the lyrics – MANY MOTIFS, MANY MEANINGS. They bring back the concept of darkness as a symbol for escape from harsh life and of unity during concerts. As for death, Reita has an iconic quote where he said something along the lines of: “we often say in lives ‘to die’, but what we actually mean is to live. Live and be free”. I see death for GazettE as a kind of transformation – and end, yet also a beginning to become something or someone new.

Ruki hasn’t really mentioned god since Ogre in Dim, in which he basically wrote “idk if God exists but I don’t really care – all I need is me”. But here he likens the band to an idol of worship. We as the fans worship the GazettE, and they are also gods to us, their followers, in the sense that they provide us with life and unity (referred to here as death and darkness, respectively). The GazettE as a band brings darkness and death to the world (with their own meanings, of course).

This is also a song about the band breaking away from current gods and dogmas of the music industry, and from its greed. I also love the line, “The rite I must face is cloaked in darkness and isolation” – this process of their journey to finding their truth is lonely, and no one but them can do it for themselves. To do so also isolates them from everything they once knew. It’s them navigating what is expected of them by the masses and those they work with vs doing what they want without getting shunned for it.” (Cr: Defective Tragedy)

 “DAWN IS ABOUT REDISCOVERING THEMSELVES. I love the number of metaphors he brings back in this song – 13 stairs, death, merry-go-rounds and again dogma. Death here is about the transformation of them as a band, which occurs at the top of the 13 stairs to the gallows. And I find that so interesting because he uses the image of gallows (eg: 13 Stairs[-]1 and Forbidden Beaver) as like…an actual Death that means the end of a genre or a person’s reputation, but here it’s a place of transformation. In Last Heaven, the merry-go-round is a symbol of life – it comes back here but this time it’s red instead of blue (youthful) and is paired with the image of a mad banquet with emotions running wild (ie concerts). Basically, this is about the band’s life and, like, their life being about concerts. My favourite part is “Overcoming a period of confusion, I took those stirring emotions / And hung them up high on the 13 stairs” because there’s also the line “I’ve already had a lethal dose of misfortune / The ruined gallows towers above me” -> WE WENT THROUGH SOME SHIT BUT WE FOUND OURSELVES AND SURPRISE BITCH, BET YOU THOUGHT YOU’D SEEN THE LAST OF ME.” (Cr1: Heresiarchy, Cr2: Defective Tragedy)

Not from my notes directly but I feel like the difference between Bizarre to Juuyonsai no Knife (ie the only two songs about Real juvenile criminals) is a REALLY good representation of how Ruki’s lyrics have changed over the years. He went from taking perspectives of people who perpetrators of violence (to write horror stories, imo, but also to generally Explore their minds through art) to making comments about society and how systems affect people in real life. Not to say he doesn’t write about killers anymore or that social commentary is NEW for him, but just…a big change in what’s PROMINENT.

“Interesting that Wasteland is next, which is about Justice on the Internet. I know Ruki has always been really critical of the internet and the kind of social processes that occur online (see: Nakigahara) and here it’s about morality and justice, but more importantly the way it’s about crowd mindsets and CONTROL. And he just summarises it SO WELL in the first verse: “The thousand eyes that can kill even God / Transform into rebels that lust for control / If the time comes when right and wrong disappear / It will all end with a blood-red moon”. There’s also the line “Innocence gives way to sinful judgment” ie the innocent go along with their ways or it’s the innocent (the weak, as he says later) that are scrutinised. And I think about this a lot considering…some other fandoms I’m in >.>” (Cr: Defective Tragedy)

(INCUBUS) “The song is a lot of wondering what they did to deserve their trauma and how they want the dreams/nightmares to go away. I do like that at the end of the song they come to the conclusion that they cannot change what happened and decide “fuck the why”, accepting they didn’t deserve it. Even though the narrator is still stuck in the maze (of trauma), the letting go of asking why it happened is like, a really important step in healing. Because it’s the end of self-blame. So, I hope narrator can heal :( “

(DEUX) “My dumbass never realised this but the music of Deux itself has DUALITY. Metal with solo piano. IT REALLY TOOK ME FIVE YEARS TO REALISE THAT HUH. It’s about two conflicting selves (which to me sound more like intrusive thoughts, considering Blemish’s VERY LOUD “These days I’m better dead”) and the effect that has on like, your emotionality and how it leads to loneliness. His use of nightmares in this song is fascinating – the Japanese word he uses (sakayume) is like…a reverse dream, like if a child has a nightmare you tell them it’s a sakayume so it means what happened in their dream definitely won’t happen AND something good will happen instead. And this is something Ruki prays for.”

(Ominous) “The imagery is really dark in this – “A prayer crushed under wreckage / Reflects in your eyes as you start to fly / I see you in the sky thick with shadows / Spinning around with nightmares” – there’s a desperate attempt to fly and get better and do Well but still they’re surrounded by darkness and nightmares, unable to escape. “Don’t forget that a heart cannot die / Don’t forget that dreams aren’t predictions of the future” –There’s hopefulness in a heart not dying yet a very strong despair when he says dreams don’t predict the future, not even reverse dreams. “It steals away my still-unformed future, and whenever I step forth / I can’t see a thing in that shadowed sky / My screaming can’t save anything / when I’m killing myself with sadness” – oh that hurts, that hurts A LOT. He wants to fly but he can’t. This is just SO MUCH. And they didn’t even have an instrumental outro, IT JUST ENDS WITH ACCEPTANCE OF HOPELESSNESS AND DEPRESSION.” (Cr: Heresiarchy)

“The drums in Goddess uggghhh UGGGHHH. AND THE GUITAR TOOOOOO. Lyrically, this is really a mid-point between depression and healing. It’s A Lot. He writes about his suffering, wanting to make something of his mistakes and his sins and actually WANTING TO LIVE. But it’s so sad that in the end he still feels really helpless – the subtle changes between “I want to become the stars that fill the silence” vs “I can’t become the stars that fill the silence”. But I think that on some level he knows what the next step is. He wishes in the last two lines, “If only I could share my grief that can’t be put to words / If only I could face reality and live accepting my crippling despair”. THAT’S THE FIRST STEP!!!! THAT’S A STEP!!!! TO HEALING!!!! “These bleak thoughts are my sacrifice that will one day begin to thaw into a selfless, smiling heart” – this line is fucking LOADED. Like, he sacrifices his bleak thoughts by expressing them and by making art out of his pain in hopes that he will be able to acknowledge and accept his suffering and his pain as a means to heal, as a way of allowing him to have a selfless and smiling heart. Like, this is SO much of what his art is about and what it has been for SUCH a long time it makes me so emotional that this is what he’s saying about his own lyrics.” I realise too that the goddess is likely the same goddess from Blemish. I’m still unsure what to make of it because Blemish ends in Ruki writing he doesn’t wants to be reborn, and not abandoned. But here he ends with wanting to heal. Wanting to move on and live.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO UNDYING.

“WHEN HE BROUGHT BACK “SLEEP, COUNT ME DOWN AGAIN” >>> God, this song is so powerful. THERE ARE SO MANY CALL-BACKS TO DOGMA. I SHOULD’VE KNOWN THIS BUT STILL. BITCH WHAT THE FUCK. It’s a direct continuation of Ominous (“I won’t arise from this”). I think in this song he’s becoming that figure that is flying in Ominous, and the one that is surrounded by nightmares and shadows – the first verses are about how the future is drenched in misfortune yet we must continue to live (and suffer, but WE CAN AT LEAST BE A BIT HOPEFUL). Ruki says this YET HE IS STILL DREAMING, EVEN AS THE END COMES (“My heart starts to disappear along with the spirit of my words / And though it knew the end was near / It dreamt of things it shouldn’t want / And even now I am still—“). There’s also his mentions of sins again that he continues to drown in :( But overall, this song is really about living despite all the pain, which is really meaningful after Dogma ended on such a note of hopelessness. There’s so much power in this song.” (Cr: Heresiarchy)

“Vacant doesn’t necessarily sound like a romantic relationship breaking down as much as it is about making a mistake and being unable to fix it between you and someone else (or other people), even if Ruki said he wrote it with a band’s image in mind. But the gist is is that there is yet again a struggle within the self (“Self-condemnation distorts the answer / And I lose sight of what I should be / Because of those unconscious actions / I can’t even dream”). The line “In the pain of not being able to tie back the undone thread / The traces left by stopping time keep piling up” really got to me – being stuck in time and constantly wishing for something that was and being hurt by the fact it’s gone is something I personally relate to. But even as the narrator is stuck in time, their grip on the past is loosening – they are forgetting, memories fade, and they lose their strength (“Vacant, you are withering”).” (Cr: Heresiarchy)

(Faling) ““Together, embracing the same pain: it’s only temporary / Don’t forget that this is not the end / So come on, let’s open our eyes and fall / We just believe in ourselves to die / Sometimes it’s okay to be broken” THIS MEANS SO FUCKING MUCH AFTER THE AMOUNT OF TIMES RUKI ENDED DOGMA SONGS WITH HOPELESSNESS AND AT BEST “WE HAVE TO KEEP LIVING AND SUFFERING AND BEING IN PAIN” BUT IN FALLING, PAIN IS TEMPORARY. PAIN IS TEMPORARY. WE WILL HEAL, BITCH. WE WILL GET BETTER, BITCH.” (Cr: Defective Tragedy)

Can’t find my notes bc it’s somewhere else in my Tumblr drafts but basically: I consider Mortal, Utsusemi and Sono Kore wa Moroku like a Depression Trilogy™ in Ninth. Mortal is about depression, loneliness and loss but like, tying it to a singular person or event in which the narrator felt grief. Utsusemi is about loneliness and depression as well, AND RUKI USES THE CICADA SHELL METAPHOR, WHICH IS THE SAME AS CRUCIFY SORROW (ALSO ABOUT DEPRESSION, BUT SOMEONE ELSE’S). But then, Sono Koe wa Moroku is THE turning point and where he first mentions (in this album) and actual DESIRE to heal and like, ON HIS OWN. IT’S ABOUT BEING STRONG FOR HIMSELF AND THAT MAKES ME SO EMOTIONAL. And as I mentioned before, Falling also ends on a hopeful note about sadness not lasting forever – it’s like he’s prefacing the album with the fact sadness IS temporary and that there IS a turning point.

“Babylon’s Taboo is interesting…so apparently Babylon is a figure of western imperialism and capitalism in the Rastafari movement (an afro-centric anti-capitalist and anti-imperialist movement from Jamaica). The narrator is COMPLETELY aware of the oppression and injustice that goes on around him but confesses to doing nothing. I interpreted this as complacency to violence, which Ruki has written about before. Also, he describes a starry sky (which I presume represents wealth and happiness) as a lie, and that they are actually black eyes that watch and look down upon you. In the context of anti-capitalism, my interpretation is that the ‘guaranteed fate’ he writes about is the life-long struggle to attain wealth and happiness – we are doomed to dedicate our lives to this, futilely, to no end. and there’s nothing we can do about it. Another line that stood out to me most is “all I need is sanity but uncertainty will do”. this, along with the rest of the song, implies that the narrator is PRETTY DAMN SURE that we’re all fucked so like....HAHA COOL.” (Cr: Defective Tragedy)

(Two of a Kind) Okay so…another motif I noticed in this album is an I and a You. And I know this sounds weird considering almost EVERY SINGLE GAZETTE SONG uses first and second pronouns, but mental health is SUCH a prominent, overarching theme in a way no album concept has been before, hence why I’m saying this. Two of a Kind is really solidifying this for me, but they appear in almost every song (but the You is known as ‘she’ in The Mortal). This pair are connected in an extremely emotionally intimate way. For one, they share pain and understand each other’s pain. Secondly, the narrator falls into depression after they’re gone. A part of me thinks it could be a past self and a current self, considering Ruki’s said this album involved the Most introspection from him and Falling writes about sins and past mistakes again. So, it could be a way of separating a past and current self – a past self that was perhaps lost, and made mistakes, but ultimately creates his current self.

But it could also be another person, as this You figure is also a source of light – someone Ruki shares his wounds with, in Two of a Kind. If it’s another person, it may also make sense that the depression and loneliness written about in The Mortal and Utsusemi is triggered by someone extremely close leaving him. Either way, it is this understanding and connection between the I and the You that also bring hope for the future and I REALLY love the way that hope is conveyed in the chorus of Two of a Kind. There’s so much light in it compared to the parts of the song where ruki calls himself filthy and ugly, and when he writes about negative feelings that never go away and bleed into this other person. but i think this other person understands it, and that’s why he can move on.

“Abhor God is a REALLY dark and heavy take on MOVING FORWARD. Like there’s so much rage in the way he writes about killing his lust, pride and anxiety and stringing up his nightmares in a noose, yet so much power in how he moves forward and sings victory with his music and his art. This is likely connected to Ninth Odd Smell and Uragiru Bero - where he writes about the band’s history and his imposter syndrome as an artist despite the band never going to die just because of that. He contrasts ‘too fast to live’ and ‘too young to die’ like, he’s really in a sort of purgatory where he’s constantly making too many mistakes to be happy but has too much to do for him to give up. So it’s here that he chooses to keep going no matter how weak the beat is. Imagery-wise this feels like.....continuing to live not because you have happiness to look forward to but just out of sheer willpower. Like it’s just so angry. Angry at the world, at yourself, but carrying that anger to try to be better and move forward.”

“And Unfinished is about the fans being his reasons to live and IT MAKES ME VERY EMOTIONAL THAT THIS IS HOW THE ALBUM ENDS!!!!!!! WITH HOPE!!!!! AND MOVING FORWARD!!!!! THEY LITERALLY ENDED THEIR ALBUM THAT’S ABOUT THEM ‘MAKING THEIR MARK ON THEIR WORLD’ WITH LIGHT AND HOPE AFTER LIKE TWO STRAIGHT ALBUMS OF /DEPRESSION/. EVERYBODY GO HOME WE LOVE HEALING IN THIS HOUSE.”

AND THAT’S THE END FOLKS!!!! if you made it here thank you so much for reading my ramblings and i appreciate u so so much <3 i hope you learned something new about the gazette’s music (i sure did - it’s why i went on this marathon in the first place!!) and again i have a list of posts i might write (which will definitely be shorter than these) so! yeah! anyway!! it’s past 11pm and i have no more brain cells. thanks again love ya have a good day/night <3 <3

[jjba-ocean-man]

⚗️ ((i can start if ya want! bd-josukehigashikata)) "Nnnngh... J-Jotaro... where are you...?"

⚗️-for a scenario where my muse has been captured and being experimented on@bd-josukehigashikata

A mistake. One fatal mistake. It was one thing that he had been dragged into this sort of hell but, Josuke. Gods. Jotaro couldn’t move, tubes and all sorts of things he couldn’t name were attached to his body. He was only breathing from the oxygen mask over his mouth. Who would’ve thought that the ever famous Foundation would have such a menacing rival?

How humiliating… That he’d been captured, and had let them get near Josuke in the first place. If he had any strength in his body he’d tear the tubes from his body without a problem, and destroy the whole place.

But it’s the voice.

“Josuke… over… here.”

He attempts to turn his head and raise an arm, hoping that the youth would find him.

[sugar-serpent]

GUYS

I JUST SENT IN A RESUME WITH AN EMAIL I HAD FROM WHEN I WAS IN 6TH GRADE AND I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THE SIGNATURE I MADE MYSELF AND IM FUCKING SCREAMING

ALLOW ME TO QUOTE THIS MONSTROSITY:

“ ToRi CoUeT Queen of the hippies Peace, luv, cheesecake!!! ( I absolutely luv my signature kuz it's really long and u have 2 c it every time I send a email!!! LOL!!!) Save the world, kuz it's the only planet with CHOCOLATE!!!! Long live MJ!!!!!! Hai... I eated a butter... IM AGAINST FLAMING HOBOS!!!!! C, told ya it waz long!!! But wait!!! Theres more!!!! CoFfEe!!!!! O.o 0 HeeHeeHee... ^^ I <3 ME The only thing better than a chocolate latte is TWO chocolate lattes!!! 8E Narwhals, narwhals, swimming in the ocean, causing a commotion, kuz they r so awesome... ---------------------------------- Do ya like waffles? |#| Ya I like waffles! ^^ Do ya like pancakes? 8D Ya I like pancakes! BD Do ya like French toast? Ya I like french toast!BP DOO DOO DOO DOO CAN'T WAIT TO GET A MOUTHFUL OF WAFFLES!!!!!!!! ---------------------------------- I've got a pillow, how bout u? I've got a pillow! I do too!!! Pillows, Pillows, Pillows, PILLOWS!!!!! ( I give credit to Katherine Motyka for coming up with that) If this is annoying, please reply and tell me!!!! > > LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALLALALALALALALALALALALALLALALALAALLALALALALALALALALALALALALALLAALALALALALALALALALALALALALLALALALALALALALALALALALLALALALALALALALALLALALALALALALALLAALALALLALALLAALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALLALALALLALALALALALLALALLAALALALALALALALALALALLALALALALALALLAALLALLALALALALALLALALALALALALALALALALALLALALALALLALALALALLALALALALALALALALALALLAALALALALLALALALALALALALLALALALALALALALALALALALALLALALALALALALLALALALALALALLAALLALALALLALALALALALALLALALALALALLALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALAALALALALALALALALALALALLALALALALALLALALALALALALALALALALALALALALLALALALALALALALALALALALALLALALALALALALALALALALLALALALALALLALALALALALALLALALALLALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALLALAALLALALALALALALALLALALALALAALALALALALALLALALALALALALALLALALALALLALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALLALALALALLALALLA LALALALALLALALALALALA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *OUCH!!!* Charlay bit my fingah!!! Only 32 animals were hurt in the making of this signature. If there is a change in cabin pressure, oxygen masks will automatically drop from the ceiling. If you are traveling with younger children, put your mask on first cause your life is more important and we all hate kids. F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for u and me N is for Nywhere at anytime at all, OUT HERE IN THE DEEP BLU C!!! Vader is a friend of mine!!! Luke, I am your father's, brother's, nephew's, cousin's, former room-mate. NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! Beef n' go is really neat, it's the best thing you'll ever eat! F is for fire, burning down the whole town U is for uranium bombs N is for no survivors! When u are controlled by me!!!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Heal the world, make it a better place, for you and for me and the entire human race! There are people dieing, if you care enough for living, make it a better place for you and for me... RIP Michael Jackson 1951-2009 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SOOOO BORED!!!! I <3 NERDS They should have a nerd appreciation day... I would be perfectly cut out for that... Don't mind me, I'm just thinking on keyboards... WAFFLES!!!! I'm pretty sure nobody reads this... LOL!!!!!!! today I dont feel like doin anything. I just wanna lay in my Bed. Don't feel like pickin up my phone, so leave A message at the tone kuz today I don't feel like doin any thing. NOTHIN AT ALL!!!!! ( literally) Bruno mars <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Have you ever tried eating a bacon covered Oreo? I have....^^ Going... going... gone!!! Fly away now Dodododododododoeoeoeoeoeirididdododoeoeodo.... That was failed do ing Hi I eated a butter( i think I allready said that.....) ---------------------------------- U and me iz friends U smile, I smile U hurt, I hurt U cry, I cry U jump offa bridge, Imma gonna miss ur emails. ---------------------------------- Ya I'm outta ideas.... Soooooo..... Ya... Now I'm dun... LOL!!!! K, bye...   “

FUCKING END ME

[shopperspk]

On Sale in Pakistan: https://www.shopperspk.com/product/oneplus-5-128gb-slate-gray-official-warranty/

OnePlus 5 128GB Slate Gray - Official Warranty

Description:

Details

ShoppersPk.com brings you the best price for OnePlus 5 128GB Slate Gray with 1 year official warranty and express shipping all over Pakistan.

OnePlus 5 128GB Slate Gray Price in Pakistan

 Specifications: 

NETWORK

Technology

GSM / CDMA / HSPA / LTE

LAUNCH

Announced

2017, June

Status

Exp. release 2017, June 27th

BODY

Dimensions

154.2 x 74.1 x 7.3 mm (6.07 x 2.92 x 0.29 in)

Weight

153 g (5.40 oz)

SIM

Dual SIM (Nano-SIM, dual stand-by)

DISPLAY

Type

Optic AMOLED capacitive touchscreen, 16M colors

Size

5.5 inches (~73.0% screen-to-body ratio)

Resolution

1080 x 1920 pixels (~401 ppi pixel density)

Multitouch

Yes

Protection

Corning Gorilla Glass 5

  – Oxygen OS

PLATFORM

OS

Android 7.1.1 (Nougat)

Chipset

Qualcomm MSM8998 Snapdragon 835

CPU

Octa-core (4×2.45 GHz Kryo & 4×1.9 GHz Kryo)

GPU

Adreno 540

MEMORY

Card slot

No

Internal

128 GB, 8 GB RAM

CAMERA

Primary

Dual 16 MP, f/1.7, 24mm, EIS (gyro) + 20 MP, f/2.6, 36mm, phase detection autofocus, 1.6x optical zoom, dual-LED flash, check quality

Features

1/2.8″ sensor size, 1.12 µm @ 16MP & 1/2.8″ sensor size, 1.0 µm @ 20MP, geo-tagging, touch focus, face detection, HDR, panorama

Video

2160p@30fps, 1080p@30/60fps, 720p@30/120fps, check quality

Secondary

16 MP, f/2.0, 20mm, EIS (gyro), 1.0 µm pixel size, 1080p, Auto HDR

SOUND

Alert types

Vibration; MP3, WAV ringtones

Loudspeaker

Yes

3.5mm jack

Yes

  – Active noise cancellation with dedicated mic

– Dirac HD sound

COMMS

WLAN

Wi-Fi 802.11 a/b/g/n/ac, Wi-Fi Direct, DLNA, hotspot

Bluetooth

5.0, A2DP, LE, aptX HD

GPS

Yes, with A-GPS, GLONASS, BDS

NFC

Yes

Radio

No

USB

2.0, Type-C 1.0 reversible connector

FEATURES

Sensors

Fingerprint (front-mounted), accelerometer, gyro, proximity, compass

Messaging

SMS (threaded view), MMS, Email, IM, Push Email

Browser

HTML5

Java

No

  – Fast battery charging (Dash Charge)

– DivX/Xvid/MP4/H.265 player

– MP3/eAAC+/WMA/WAV/FLAC player

– Document viewer

– Photo/video editor

BATTERY

  Non-removable Li-Ion 3300 mAh battery

  Dual Camera. Clearer Photos

  DUAL CAMERA

Portrait Mode

Dual camera technology lets you focus on your subject, progressively blurring the background for a gentle, yet powerful effect. 

Smart Capture

Our intelligent software can automatically detect various conditions and quietly optimizes for accuracy and clarity. It’s professional quality, automated. 

Portrait Mode

Dual camera technology lets you focus on your subject, progressively blurring the background for a gentle, yet powerful effect.

  Effortless Clarity

The OnePlus 5 features the highest resolution dual camera on the planet. Photos are incredibly clear, so don’t be afraid to zoom in.

Faster Autofocus (Fast AF)

Our dual camera system and intelligent software work together to measure depth and find the perfect focus, instantly. Focusing is 40% faster than the OnePlus 3T.

Large Aperture

Capture clear photos at any time, thanks to the OnePlus 5’s large f/1.7 aperture. Shutter speed is faster too.

  Design

The more you use the OnePlus 5, the more you’ll notice the thoughtful touches that set it apart. We believe that perfecting every detail—no matter how small—creates a beautiful sense of cohesion and unrivaled user experience.

  Smooth Experience

The industry-leading Qualcomm® Snapdragon™ 835 processor powers through demanding apps and games – and it’s incredibly power efficient.

      More RAM

Open more apps and switch between them instantly. With up to 8GB of LPDDR4X RAM, day to day tasks are snappier than ever, and battery life is better.

  Faster storage

You’ll have plenty of room for photos, apps, and files with up to 128GB of onboard storage. And because the OnePlus 5 features new dual-lane technology, overall performance is faster. 

  App Priority

Our exclusive technology intelligently learns your usage patterns to launch important apps more quickly. It also keeps intrusive apps from harming performance or draining battery.

         Network

One Phone, Everywhere

The OnePlus 5 is a true world phone, including support for 34 network bands across the globe.

      Focus on What Matters

Vivid FullHD display

Three color calibration options (standard, sRGB, and DCIP3) 

All-metal unibody

Carved from a single slab of space-grade aluminum. 

Fingerprint scanner

Unlocks your OnePlus 5 in under 0.2 seconds.

Headphone jack

With both type-C and standard audio ports, it’s all about options.

[panlight]

So this popped up in my head, and I'm honestly puzzled. I dunno if anyone has ever brought this up on here, but how does it make sense that Edward was able to get Bella pregnant? There's no blood running in him to give him an erection, and he's not living so he's technically shooting blanks.

Yeah, I mean … yeah. SM has the following explanation on her BD FAQ: 

Now, on to the “how is this possible?” question. First of all, of course it’s not possible. None of this story is possible. It’s a fantasy story about creatures that don’t actually exist. Within the context of the fantasy, however, this is how it works:

Vampires are physically similar enough to their human origins to pass as humans under some circumstances (like cloudy days). There are many basic differences. They appear to have skin like ours, albeit very fair skin. The skin serves the same general purpose of protecting the body. However, the cells that make up their skin are not pliant like our cells, they are hard and reflective like crystal. A fluid similar to the venom in their mouths works as a lubricant between the cells, which makes movement possible (note: this fluid is very flammable). A fluid similar to the same venom lubricates their eyes so that their eyes can move easily in their sockets. (However, they don’t produce tears because tears exist to protect the eye from damage, and nothing is going to be able to scratch a vampire’s eye.) The lubricant-venom in the eyes and skin is not able to infect a human the way saliva-venom can. Similarly, throughout the vampire’s body are many versions of venom-based fluids that retain a marked resemblance to the fluid that was replaced, and function in much the same way and toward the same purpose. Though there is no venom replacement that works precisely like blood, many of the functions of blood are carried on in some form. Also, the nervous system runs in a slightly different but heightened way. Some involuntary reactions, like breathing, continue (in that specific example because vampires use the scents in the air much more than we do, rather than out of a need for oxygen). Other involuntary reactions, like blinking, don’t exist because there is no purpose for them. The normal reactions of arousal are still present in vampires, made possible by venom-related fluids that cause tissues to react similarly as they do to an influx of blood. Like with vampire skin—which looks similar to human skin and has the same basic function—fluids closely related to seminal fluids still exist in male vampires, which carry genetic information and are capable of bonding with a human ovum. This was not a known fact in the vampire world (outside of Joham’s personal experimenting) before Nessie, because it’s nearly impossible for a vampire to be that near a human and not kill her.

So it’s hard to argue against this because a) she’s the author and b) ‘venom’ as she conceives it is a fictional substance so you can’t really be like, “it doesn’t work like that.”  But it still just … doesn’t make sense to me personally. She says that things like blinking don’t exist in vampires because there is no purpose to it, but then male vampires still have a means of passing on their genes to future generations despite the fact that female vampires can’t procreate with them and it’s “almost impossible” for them to be with a human and not kill them. Why should one half of the species still retain that ability when the other doesn’t? And why should the half be able to procreate with their food source? It’s like it all just exists so E/B in their very specific circumstances can have a kid rather than it being a sort of naturally occurring thing. Honestly I sort of wish she had just explained it as ~magic~ or something because it all just seems so contrived. And the whole “no one but Joham knew” thing, please, if HE thought of it, Aro and Carlisle and probably dozens of other vampires would have at least theorized about it, too. There’s just no way that super curious, keeper-of-the-histories Aro didn’t wonder about it, and there’s no way Carlisle the super curious doctor with a wife and ‘daughter’ who longed for children didn’t research every single rumor about vampire reproduction.