#Even they admit frequently it was very gay

[patheticblorbloscholar]

Talkville aka the Clex podcast. 10/10 highly recommend. If you are feeling nostalgic and gay.

[callmebrycelee]

I've been mulling this over for the last few days and I figured I'd just put what I'm thinking out there in hopes that someone will understand what I'm coming from. I'm reading a wonderful fanfic where Buck leaves the 118 and goes to work at Air Operations. He is paired with Tommy and the two of them strike up a friendship and an eventual romance. I'm only a few chapters into the story and there's a conversation where Buck and Tommy are relaying their backstories to each other. Buck talks about getting crushed by the fire engine, the subsequent surgery and setback, and him suing the LAFD. Tommy talks about his time in the Army and ultimately joining the 118. He goes into vivid detail about every single awful thing he did to Chimney and Hen. He ends the story by telling Buck that even though the Chimney and Hen chose to forgave him, he can't quite move past his guilt and works hard daily to become a better person. The thing I've been mulling over is the concept of white guilt and how it often triumphs over forgiveness extended by people of color. I find this so funny because even when people of color, esepcially Black people, are at their most vulnerable and open, whiteness still finds a way to be greater than.

Now I'm not here to excuse any of what Tommy did during his time at the 118, but I have to admit that the majority of the people I have seen taking umbrage with Tommy and his behavior, even after he has been forgiven by those whom he offended, and even after he has taken strides to change, are white, non-queer individuals. And before we making this a B*ddie versus BuckTommy situation, I have seen individuals from both sides of the fence taking Tommy to task.

Before I jump into my thoughts on this, let me just say that I'm a Black man. I'm also a queer man. Most importantly I'm a Black queer man and let me tell you a little something about poor behavior from white people. It happens so much and so frequent that oftentimes I don't even see it happening until I am allowed to have a moment to process and reflect. With that said, quite a few of my close friends and acquaintances are white and all of them at some point have said or done something deliberately or accidentally offensive to me. Now not all Black and/or queer people are a monolift so let me make this very clear right now. I am speaking on behalf of myself and myself only.

Now that I've gotten out of the way, I will say that in any and all cases where I have been offended, my forgiveness is more for myself than the other person. Forgiveness is something I do to protect my peace. I fundamentally understand how whiteness works here in America and I understand how it operates. You don't get to half 39 years as a Black queer person without learning this. Especialy living in the the south. I also realize that at the apex of whiteness is the white, straight male and whether we realize it or not, we all, for the most part, at some point, seek proximity to him. You see this happen with white women, with Black men, and evenwith gay white men. In fact, the only group you don't tend to see this with is Black queer women and I believe this is because they are truly the antithesis of the white apex.

With that said, any time my friends or acquaintances have behaved badly, especially towards me, especially regarding my race and/or sexuality, I understand where that energy comes from. I really do. And, if we are being truly transparent here, there have been moments in my younger existence where I actively participated in the oppression of Black women and queer people. I, too, was a Tommy who hid myself by participating in the toxicity directed towards queer people. And yes, I felt tremendous guilt for my actions when I had time to reflect.

Here is the thing people forget about guilt. Much like grief, guilt ebbs and flows, and it doesn't really go away. What happens, or what should happen, is that your world gets bigger and bigger to the point where that grief or that guilt doesn't occupy as much space. That's exactly what I believe has happened to Tommy Kinard. Yes, he still feels bad about what he did to his friends back then (and he should) but his world has gotten so much bigger since then. That guilt that was once a loud roar is hopefully only a whisper now because he has done the work to understand why he behaved the way he did and has taken strides to be a better version of himself.

So, to all the white, non-queer individuals out there who have been taking Tommy to task for things he did a long time ago, things he's been forgiven of a long time ago, parts of himself that he has made better, ask yourself this one simple question. Why should my guilt (white guilt) be bigger than the forgiveness provided to him by those he offended? Second question I would ask you to ask yourself. Why am I demanding that Tommy actively punish himself and be punished for something he has already been forgiven of? When you answer that question, there is one last question I want you to ask yourself. Why am I feeling guilty and projecting that guilt onto someone else?

Again, I am not excusing any of what Tommy Kinard said or did during that time of his life. I just find it strange that so many of you are condemining him of something he once did when you should be asking yourself, am I actively participating in the oppression of those around me. There's a 99.9% chance you are so maybe focus on your own garden before you start asking others to clean up theirs. Also, for those of you coming at this from the angle of, well we didn't see Hen and Chimney forgive him. So what! Unless you have a camera following you around 24/7, no one will ever get to see you be forgiven of the fucked up stuff you've been doing. Most of all, stop projecting onto fictional characters. It's weird. Okay, those are my thoughts. Do what with them what you wish. As always, these are my opinions.

[undreaming-fanfiction]

Written for @steddieangstyaugust day 4: angst with a happy ending.

Once upon a time, when the world almost ended and didn't, Eddie Munson used to think that surviving the near apocalypse would be the most difficult thing he'd ever have to do in his life. Surely being bitten to death, then resurrected by the big bad, then breaking away from his influence and helping save the world, that must have counted for something, right? He'd earn a happy end through all that suffering.

Well, no. Not really. That's what he learned the second the portal to the Upside Down closed. The lovely people of Hawkins still hated him, he and Wayne had nowhere to live because their trailer split open, and he barely escaped another group of government scientists very much interested in the whole "came back to life" thing.

It was only natural Eddie ran. Why wouldn't he? He brought Wayne only bad luck, even worse reputation, and a bunch of extra expenses. His friends from the Corroded Coffin? Tortured by Jason to find his location. The freshmen he dragged into Hellfire? Also targeted. Eddie's name was a target on the back on everyone he loved and he wouldn't stay long enough for it to put the others in danger. Not Wayne, Dustin…Steve. Steve who confused him as much as enticed him. But Hawkins wasn't the place to explore this forbidden space in Eddie's head.

Indy sounded like a good destination and so that's where he went. He wrote a bunch of goodbye letters, trying to explain, but mostly to ease the pain. I will be in touch once I settle in, he said in them. He was never a good liar, not even on paper.

The whole Upside Down affair had robbed him of everything. His baby, his guitar. His closest relationships. His only proper home. The future he saw with himself and the Corroded Coffin. But he still had his life, so that was something.

He made friends, but not really. How do you make a real connection with someone when you can't tell them anything about the most important event in your life? How do you explain staring at every girl with golden blond ponytail on the street, dreading the moment they turn around because it won't be her?

He would send letters to Wayne sometimes. They would be long, talking about this and that, he would sometimes call too. But he noticed that for how much he talked, the content was empty. He wondered if Wayne noticed too. He must have - his uncle was the most perceptive man he'd ever met. He sent a bunch of short messages to Dustin via Wayne, just to keep him from going all Sherlock Holmes on Eddie. He swore to visit them both one day. Just not today. Or tomorrow.

The only good thing about his life in Indy was the anonymity of a large city and with that, the possibility to explore who he really was. He saved as much as he could and bought a new guitar. It would never be like his first love, but he could get back to music and drive his roommates insane with how out of practice he was. He'd play here and there, become very slightly famous in the local queer community. Sometimes his performances would earn him a free drink, sometimes a kiss. Or if he was really good, company for the night.

Five years in, it was going fairly well, he thought. He wasn't completely broke, he could kiss who he wanted - boys, how long it took him to admit that!, his songs got more genuine. He even wrote a bunch about Hawkins, never naming the place or people, of course, but it helped him work through some stuff. And on some days, he didn't even think much about what and who he'd left behind.

Until that fateful evening when he was scheduled to perform in his frequented gay bar. He sat on his usual stool on the podium with his acoustic guitar, greeted the regulars, and said his usual spiel: "This one is about a very special boy. He wore a yellow sweater, saved my life a bunch of times. Was really badass too. I think he made me realize who I really am, even if he never knew how I feel about him."

He never gave the song a name. He considered "His vest over my bleeding heart", or maybe something like "Keep me like you kept the vest", something with sunflowers, nail bats, perfect hair. Everyone in the bar knew he hated naming his songs anyway, so he took a deep breath and got ready to play.

Only then did he notice a familiar shade of yellow near the bar. And a surprised, but still a smile.

Eddie didn't run that evening. He finished the set, thanked his supporters and fans, and then he found himself sitting next to Steve Harrington, the man from his songs and dreams.

"Everyone misses you like crazy. They still hope you'll stop by, but I get it. I just feel lucky as hell. I didn't think I'd see you again," said Steve and it sounded sad. Like he actually missed Eddie too.

"I didn't think I'd find you in a place like this," responded Eddie. He wanted it to sound more rough, defensive, but his heart betrayed him and it was more of a question. Of a plea.

Steve smiled at him again, and maybe it was Eddie's imagination, but did he shift closer to him? "You haven't seen me in a long time, Eddie. This is exactly the place you'd find me these days. And now…I don't even need to drag Robin with me as an excuse."

Oh. Okay. Eddie could work with that. Licking his lips, he prodded even more. "So…uh. I take it you still haven't found what you're looking for?"

Steve turned to him fully, reaching out for Eddie's hand, and Eddie realized that he might have been wrong. This might be his happy ending after all.

Especially when Steve's lips parted and he said: "I have now."

Eddie would visit Wayne. He'd call Dustin, catch up with Gareth and others. Because he no longer felt like a bad omen. The morning he woke up next to Steve Harrington, with a careful promise of much more than one night, with pancakes for breakfast and talking, so much real talking with no secrets and no lies, he decided that he was ready to stop running. For good this time.

[olderthannetfic]

I have really mixed feelings about the small proportion of F/F fiction (original or fanfic), because yeah sure, people have their desires, they should write what they want, I get it. It all works out when I hear it from person to person. But somehow the logic only ever applies in one direction? "There are more male protagonists because men only care about male characters! Women also mostly care about male characters, because that's the majority of characters they get!" And then somehow we also yet kvetch when men write female characters (because it's incorrectly or something, nevermind if women are writing male characters correctly). Why don't we expect gay men to feel compelled only by femslash for the same reasons (but gender swapped) as the lesbian slashers/fujoshi? All of those very rational justifications are applied selectively, "for me for not for thee," and it all only leads to "idk I just don't wanna write femslash", for Reasons. Do we get to call them microaggressions yet?

--

No, you don't get to call other people's fantasy life a microaggression.

That is indeed "for me but not for thee" in the sense that you get to want what you want but other people aren't supposed to follow their id.

Do you also police gay men who spend too much time on drag and obsessing over female divas? That's an actual real world behavior that's somewhat equivalent. It frequently goes unchallenged, at least by progressives, because men are allowed to do whatever they want with chick stuff, while women are "stealing" if they dare to stray into dude stuff.

(God, I've seen so much more policing of drag kings being ~problematic~ for acting out stereotypical gender than policing of drag queens for the same. It's nuts!)

Fujoshi are often queer, but it's absurd to think we're mostly lesbians. We tend to be bi or asexual women with gender stuff going on, though there is a mix of everybody, including lesbians. There are also a lot of AFAB non-women who get lumped in with us. On the rare occasions I find a man willing to admit to being a similar demographic, he usually does like gender play in his hobbies and entertainment. It's just that men face even more pressure than women do to fit into tidy categories. Bi women get told we're whores. Bi men are told they don't exist.

Yes, I know plenty of lesbians who write more m/m than f/f, but in the big picture of all of AO3 or all of fanfic or all of media, they aren't the demographic driving these numbers. They're vastly outnumbered by the bi women, the asexual women, and the straight and gnc women.

The men we should be looking at as an equivalent aren't cis gay men but bicurious soy boys and the like.

Do most of us fujoshi object to equivalent men doing an equivalent thing? I've seen it sometimes, and I agree it's hypocritical. I'd like us to afford men the same ability to play and take on identities in their art. I remember enjoying Ranma fandom back in the day and reading quite a lot of f/f that was probably by men. It had some of that same sense of distance and fantasy that I so enjoy in m/m aimed at fujoshi. (I do consume some by-cis-gay, for-cis-gay content, both m/m and f/f, but it's often too literal and too bound up in specific named identities for my taste.)

On average, the people I see complaining most about men producing f/f material are the same people who think that because I have a clit, I should center my life around women exclusively. In other words, people spouting radfem ideology, perhaps on purpose or perhaps without realizing.

I do agree that some of the ways of expressing a lack of desire to write femslash can get pretty douchey. I want us to move away from some of the less accurate ones like "There are no compelling female characters" because of this.

But the reason for all these jerkass explanations is that women and people perceived as women who like m/m are constantly asked to explain ourselves. These aren't usually microaggressions: they're openly hostile. People get defensive and try to answer with important-sounding reasons about identity and pain because society at large won't accept "I like this" as the true explanation.

Pleasure is never enough of a reason for a woman to do something.

[ardentpoop]

If it's okay to ask: what are your thoughts on meg and sexual assault? I really dislike the way a lot of people on here talk about it (and meg, especially meg 2.0, in general) so I wanted to hear your view on it if you'd like to share!

not totally sure if you mean you’re bothered by how people discuss meg as a perpetrator or meg as a victim, because one could easily argue both. there are obvious allusions to rape re: meg possessing sam’s body in BUABS (just as every possession arc incorporates allusions to rape - most notably sam’s as he is at the heart of the majority of these arcs and also because well. The Roles.) and there are also of course the scenes where meg gets grabby with both sam and dean as a show of force.

I’m gonna assume however that you’re referring to people speaking about meg 2.0 in a demeaning manner and not recognizing the excessive misogynistic violence she is subjected to as a character, because come on. I know what this fandom is like. the two key episodes that come to mind for me are “caged heat” and “goodbye stranger.” gonna share some dialogue excerpts to get my point across, but you could even just count how many times dean refers to meg as a “bitch” in caged heat because it is frankly impressive that the writers (this one was tag-teamed by a duo and neither of them are familiar names) were so committed to it in just the one episode.

[caged heat]

notes on the above excerpts:

as with all demons who inhabit female vessels meg’s sexuality is a main ingredient of her characterization as a villain. she speaks overwhelmingly in slimy innuendo and flirtatious-quips-as-insults, she forcefully kisses and touches sam and dean without their consent, she is frequently referred to as a “whore” accordingly. it’s worth noting however that although in this episode meg weaponizes her sexuality (as expected for every character like her) against samndean while she supposedly has them tied up at her mercy, it is soon revealed that meg cannot actually harm samndean and is on the run from crowley - the brothers have the upper hand and her threats are ultimately empty. meg’s power is taken from her at the very start of this episode.

compare meg being tortured by crowley’s henchman to crowley being tortured by meg moments later within the same episode. she is naked and strapped down, she is being assaulted with a knife. the dialogue smacks you over the head with implied rape, as if the scene wasn’t brutal enough on its own. what does crowley get in return from meg, when he greets her as “whore” immediately after this assault scene? he gets to writhe around a bit on the floor, fully-clothed of course. “the best torturers never get their hands dirty,” huh? convenient!

on top of all this we for some reason also needed cas testing out his Porn Tricks on meg - which, don’t get me wrong, I’ve always kind of had a weird soft spot for megstiel (gay edit), but you have to admit that the timing and the context rankles. recurring Woman Character who doesn’t serve as a love interest or sexual interest for one of the boys is very hard to come by around here.

[goodbye stranger]

robbie thompson committed many sins with this (tbfh) godawful episode but what I want to point out here specifically is the continuation of meg being victimized by crowley. with bonus treat of sam being spoken to in the same sexually demeaning manner, as I suppose is only fair and right when both meg and sam were given the “wait outside while the men take care of business, frail maiden” treatment because thompson could not resist an opportunity to serve up dstiel bait that interfered with the structure and logic of the episode as well as with dean’s (and meg’s!) characterization.

TL;DR yeah uh the fans never talk about any of this because they’re too high on dstiel fumes to critique anything about the writing if they’re getting their tasty tasty little flavorless morsels from the like 3 guys on the writing team who were willing to feed them.

sorry for being mean but not really bc you guys are so annoying and dense about the already horrifically mistreated female characters on this show. wish I knew specifically what types of meg takes you don’t like anon so I could confirm whether they’re the ones that are a product of people despising female characters who “get in the way.”

[idontknowanametouse]

Straw hat men headcanons (yeah, Yamato is here, don't ask shit)

Tw to abuse

Zoro

Autistic and semi-verbal. Only communicates through echolalia of his crew's words. Has absolutely no social abilities. Stares at people VERY intensely. Has a hard time telling lies apart from the truth, because of that, developed the habit to be always aware about others. Suffers from understimulation and often has shutdowns, the only person able to help him in those situations is Luffy.

Is visually impaired due to an accident on the Kuraigana Island. Has a hard time with profundity and adapting to new environments, specially big ones. Sometimes uses his swords to tap around and know if there is an object he hasn't noticed yet.

Colorblind and dyslexic. Avoids reading because he feels embarassed due to internalized ableism. Has a hard time telling apart blue, green, yellow, purple and red. Nobody knew that until Chopper made an eyesight analysis on him, so now the crew helps him with some stuff.

Has tan skin and, for literally everybody's surprise, actually dyes his hair (even though he doesn't bath), as it's original color is black. Very tall, large on the bust and muscular. Has various scars through all of his body.

Very gay and also trans. Transitioned shortly before he met Kuina, never came out. Didn't have surgery cuz he thought it could disturb his sword abilities, so he just worked out his chest so much that it would look like that (he had small breasts, so it helped a lot). Still struggles with internalized transphobia, but is working on it, specially after Sanji came out. They dated a little before timeskip and after it went full on a relationship. It's weird, but it works for them (basically, they show off like they hate each other, but on backstage it's just love).

Basically only eats onigiri due to taste hypersensitivity, nobody other than Chopper knows how he manages to be so muscular eating only that (Chopper knows about his nutrient reposition).

Likes green and green only. Everything he has must have at least one shade of green on it.

Half of his echolalia is swearing. Likes to do it specially when fighting.

His promise is so that Kuina will be the only one ever above him, the only one able to absolutely defeat him. Sometimes, he feels like Kuina is there. His heart aches.

After timeskip, calls Kuraigana Island frequently, as he got very used to Mihawk and Perona's company (will never admit that he now got a dad and a sister).

Besties with Nami, very protective towards Usopp although he doesn't seem like. Likes sparing with Yamato and hanging around with Jinbei, as he usually leaves him alone. Hates Robin's teasing and Law's resting bitch face, although he also has one. Carries Bonney and Chopper around the ship anytime he can, Luffy's best bro ever (if Luffy ever could choose a best friend, it would probably be Zoro) as they went through a lot of shit together.

Has absolutely no music taste, will listen to anything even if it's not good. Everyone is fucking horrified.

Before Law joined, he would spend an entire fucking week on the same clothing. Now, Law will spank him if he does so. Zoro changes exactly ONCE a day, and they all look the same.

Scared of choking or asfixiating, will keep plastic (?) bags away from the ship at all costs.

Learned to play some shamisen as a kid, but very little. Due to time, is kind of bad on doing it, but he tried nonetheless in Wano.

After he got lost so many times, Usopp had an idea: to keep a balloon tied to his wrist so they could locate him from far away. Zoro does not like this at all (he still uses the balloon though).

Talks to his swords. He doesn't care if people stare, he needs to get to know their opinion. Cherishes them like nakama.

Even though he is not the most expressive guy, especially when it comes to expressions of love, he still will protect them when in danger no matter the cost.

Franky

Autistic, loves infodumping, special interest is obviously ships, no social cues so he just says whatever comes to his mind, super is a vocal stim, will often get emotionally overloaded and cry a lot.

Has PTSD due to the abandonment of his bio parents, panicks a lot when it comes to falling on the sea. Needs to stay around the crew when it happens.

Left leg amputee ever since his childhood, after he became a cyborg his special focus of the upgrades go to the left leg as he has a special love for this specific prostetic.

Very tall, large and muscular, thanks to hormonal blockers and testo. Hair was originally blonde and he used to dye it blue, but, after timeskip, it's natural. Has many scars through his torso.

Trans king, found out after he was taken in by Tom and started on hormones. Had a crush on Robin ever since he met het, but was kind of embarassed to say it until the end of Thriller Bark. Mom and dad of the crew (and Sunny's).

Likes working in the night more due to it being calmer, so his sleep schedule is a mess. He doesn't care, that way he can talk to Sunny without being interrupted.

Loves blue, yellow and red, includes those in everything he creates.

Never swears, just says weird words instead of it. Everyone other than the straw hats does not get it. He just says, idk, "bazooka" and the straw hats are like "GAAASP NOT IN FRONT OF BONNEY AND CHOPPER" meanwhile outsiders are like "???????"

Very clingy towards Robin, keeps hugging her at every opportunity and telling her he loves her, specially after timeskip as they made alliance rings for their relationship.

Regularly calls Iceburg and speaks for two hours about how Sunny is doing. It's common, whenever Luffy adopts a new nakama he makes a tour with them telling every single detail about the ship.

Hangs around a lot with Brook and Jinbei cuz they are really cool. Carries Luffy, Nami, Usopp, Vivi, Chopper and Bonney around the ship because they are all smaller than him (and won't kill him). Bros with Yamato, they like sparing (Yamato likes sparing with everybody, but that's not the point).

Loves Taylor Swift and eletronic songs, sometimes improvise some rap. It's horrible, but he tries.

Walks around the ship basically only in swimming trunks. Nami always yells at him for that, but everybody knows he'll never stop.

Is as scared of bugs as Sanji and Nami. Sprays insect repellent everywhere possible.

Surprisingly good at breakdancing. He really rocks at it.

Has a Den Den Mushi for each nakama. He just likes to verify them at most times. It's kind of tied to anxiety, but it helps him.

Stims in every way possible: visual, vocal, auditory, fidgeting, motor, biting. He just really needs stimming. Like, at all times. It's stronger than him.

Always working really hard to adapt to danger and keep Sunny and the crew safe. He does his best.

Jinbei

Autistic, but masked most of his life due to ableism (is learning to undo it now). Temperature hypersensibility, way too formal social script, loves fluffy and squishy stuff, fidgets a lot, rocks back and forth on his feet, has much flappy hands, has shutdowns that include self-harm.

Much taller than the rest of the crew, has a lot of scars, long beard and hair, fat and kind of muscular (he very strong).

Aroace dad, is very embarassed towards romantic and sexual relationships, but tries to be supportive. Just found out aroace existed and was mindblown. He kinda confused but he got the spirit. Robin's favorite victim of playfully flirting (he gets so embarassed it's funny).

After he entered the crew, he had a hard time being around Nami due to the guilt he felt, but they had a really long talk and now it got better. She is now his second kid (first is Koala) and likes hanging around a lot with him, very clingy towards him at the first sign of danger.

Never swears and scolds the rest of the crew when they do, specially when it's the younger ones. Very dad energy.

The most huggable person of the crew. Has received at least 2 hugs from everyone, which is a miracle considering Zoro and Law.

No favorite colour. Everyone calls him lame for that and he goes :(

Calls Koala daily as she is always with Sabo. Sabo is scared of Koala's dad, even though he is very chill with them dating.

Takes care of the younger nakama. Usually the one to pull akuma no mi users out of water. One of those to put the leash on Luffy to stop him from doing shit. Zoro keeps wanting a sparing match, but he refuses.

Likes traditional music, but does not deny any other style, as long as the song is good.

Usually wears traditional clothing cause he got so used to it he'd feel weird in any other clothes.

Scared of Robin. He likes her, it's just that she sometimes is so creepy he thinks she is going to kill him. Robin can never know this, of course.

Likes writing fanfic about other people. This comes from the time when he was a shichibukai and he wrote about his colleagues. It's a secret, of course, nobody can know.

Reads journal regularly and is the one in the most touch with the rest of the world's news when they are on the sea.

Likes touching his beard. It's fluffy. Because of it, they bought a plushie for him to sleep with. He cried because of his happiness.

Due to being big, strong and an ex-shichibukai, his very presence can make most malicious people go away. The crew grabs him along most times they get to an island.

Yamato

Autistic, special interest is Oden and sake. No social cues reading, speaks very loudly, doesn't know how to match face, tone and emotion, hyposensitive to sound, sake is comfort food (drink?), variates from meltdown to shutdowns in the lack of constant stim.

Has PTSD due to being imprisoned and spanked by Kaidou. Hates confined places and anything that might restrain him. People bigger than him usually make him very uncomfortable. Just as he entered the crew, Chopper started marking his appointments.

VERY tall and also muscular, with many scars through his body. Has some oni characteristics, like the horns and pointy teeth. Hasn't changed his appearance since he came out as he is actually very comfortable with it, so he sometimes just walks around the ship with his boobs showing.

The Trans Idol Ever (like Hatsune Miku). Even though he appreciates Ivankov a lot, he also really likes his body, so he doesn't feel the need to transition with hormones or surgery. Very gay too, dating Ace on distance (shut the fuck up Akainu) and they get really clingy every time they get to find each other.

One of the physically strongest nakama, nobody wins him in arm wrestling (at least, not before an hour). Likes sparing with everyone, specially Law. There's just something about him that gets to his nerves.

Loves orange and light green. It fits him.

Is learning how to swear after leaving Wano and Kaidou's influence. Almost always screams.

Third one to eat the most, right before Bonney and Luffy. They sometimes become truly Sanji's terror.

Loves sparing with everyone, but specially Zoro. Carries Luffy, Chopper and Bonney around cause they are much smaller. Listens to Franky's infodumping for many hours without blinking an eye. Is creeped out by Robin cause she keeps appearing behind him without making a single noise.

Has been exploring his musical side, and specially likes punk rock. It's wild. He likes it.

Doesn't change clothes from Wano just because of practical reasons. Just like Zoro, almost never showers, just with the bros (Law is scandalized with the lack of hygiene of these people).

Fears cats cause they are too unpredictable. They look like they wanna murder him.

Likes painting, specially on walls. It's actually very pretty, both Franky and Sunny approve.

Loves hearing the crew's stories. It's beautiful.

Stims from hitting/punching stuff. It varies from small objects to people. It's kind of wild.

Will rip your throat with his own teeth if you say anything about his crew.

[skeletorrito]

fun lil itafushi fic I started

very very rough draft (also trigger warning for the f slur)

let me know what you think!

“Fushiguro…” Yuji starts with a mouth full of mochi. “What kind of girls are you into?” 

“I’m not-” Megumi blurts out, unthinking, but manages to cut himself off. He corrects, “I’m not having this conversation with you.” He shoves another mochi in his mouth, slumping down further into his bed. 

Yuji makes frequent, unannounced visits every time he’s injured on missions (which is, admittedly, more often than he’d like). Megumi didn’t have much of a chance refusing, either, because Yuji doesn’t take no for an answer. He always brings snacks or a gift with him each time, which Megumi thinks is… kinda nice (though he’d never admit it). This time, he brought red bean mochi to share. 

“Aww, c’mon, why not? We’re bros, right?” Yuji urges.

“Are we?” Megumi snips in response. 

“Of course we are! I love you, bro!” Yuji exclaims innocently, and Megumi nearly chokes on his snack. 

“Please don’t say that ever again…” he grumbles in response, flushing slightly and fixing his gaze on the floor. 

Yuji ignores him and continues to think aloud, “Maybe you’re into tall girls like me? Like Jennifer Lawrence, ooh, or that one rapper, what’s her name… umm… Megan Thee Stallion, yeah!” Yuji leans back in his chair with an easy grin, arms folded behind his head. “She’s so hot. Her ass always looks insane.” 

Megumi’s expression is flat as he listens to Yuji ramble. “I’m going back to bed, Itadori.”  

“Aww, Fushiguro, don’t be like that! You’ve gotta have a type!” Yuji continues to ignore Megumi’s attempts to shut the conversation down. Even though Megumi is already laying back in bed with the covers tucked under his chin, Yuji presses, “You talk to Maki a lot. Is she your type?”

“Maki’s my distant relative, you idiot,” Megumi spits immediately, crinkling his nose. “Leave me alone, I’m tired of talking about this weird shit. Go call Aoi if you wanna keep objectifying women like this.” 

Yuji sighs disappointedly. “I already know what he’s gonna say, there’s nothing to talk about.” He pops another mochi in his mouth, mumbling, “Man, you’re acting like you’re not even interested in girls…” 

Megumi stays silent for a little too long. Yuji curiously leans down to meet his eyes. 

“Fushiguro, you are into girls, aren’t you?” 

Megumi flips over, his face growing hot. “Get out.” 

“Wait- Are you… into guys?” Yuji’s voice is dripping with amusement and shock. 

Megumi covers his face with his comforter, hoping to avoid Yuji noticing the creeping flush on his cheeks. “I said get out, Itadori!” He yells from under the covers, taking a pillow and throwing it at him. 

He might just die on the next mission on purpose.

Yuji laughs as the pillow hits his chest. He palms his forehead. “Oh my god! That makes so much sense! Fushiguro, why didn’t you tell me!? Well, I mean, I can guess why you wouldn’t… but don’t worry! Your secret’s safe with me!” 

Megumi doesn’t respond. His fists are clenched so tightly that his fingernails are biting into his palms.

“Alright, I get it, I’ll let you rest. But just so you know, it doesn’t matter to me what you’re into, I’ll still be your friend regardless,” Yuji adds sincerely, grinning at the lump of covers on the bed. Megumi peeks at him as he leaves, groaning and shoving his face into his pillow. 

He’s not going to let this go, is he? 

He most certainly is not about to let this go. As the week progresses, Yuji’s thoughts are consumed by Megumi’s silent confession. He’s never had a gay friend before (that he knew of, at least) and, while he knows it shouldn’t make a difference, he just can’t stop thinking about the fact that Megumi is attracted to men. Yuji finds himself burning with personal, prying questions that he knows he can’t ask. But he’s dying to know. 

He restrains himself for about three whole days. 

And then, on the fourth day, his impulsiveness gets the better of him. 

Yuji spots Megumi on a bench, alone, near the garden. He scrolls on his phone as he eats a rice ball. 

“Yo, Fushiguro!” Yuji calls out and takes up a seat next to him. “Feeling better?” 

Megumi shifts his attention briefly from his phone, emerald eyes flicking up momentarily. “Yeah, a little, thanks.” 

“Good, great. I’m glad to hear it.” 

Megumi can tell that Yuji is antsy about something by the way he’s fidgeting with his hood. He sighs, shoving his phone in his pocket. “What is it?” He asks with mild annoyance. 

“Huh?”

“I know you want to say something, Itadori, so just say it.”

Yuji opens the floodgates, his brain moving faster than his mouth, “Okay, yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry, this is super personal but I have to ask: how did you realize you were gay?” 

Megumi frowns, expecting this much. He’d felt Yuji’s stare burning holes in his back since they last spoke. “Who said I was gay?” He retorts, quickly. 

Yuji’s look of pure confusion makes Megumi crack the slightest of smiles. “But… I thought… You didn’t say anything…” His response comes out in broken, flustered phrases. His face turns bright red. “So you’re… not gay?”

Megumi snorts, dismissively. “Labels are boring and pointless. I don’t really care what you call me, Itadori.” He takes another bite of his snack, chewing and swallowing politely before he adds, “And it’s not a secret, really… I just don’t run my mouth about it.” 

Yuji takes a silent minute to process this information, a small pout gracing his lips. “Okay…” he starts, carefully, “So lemme try again: How did you know you were interested in men?” 

Megumi rolls his eyes, groaning exasperatedly. “I don’t know, Itadori, how did you know you were interested in women?” 

“Oh, well-”

“It’s a rhetorical question, dummy.”

“Oh. Oh, I get it. Sorry.” Yuji scratches the back of his neck, an embarrassed grimace on his face. “I’ve just never had a friend who leans that way. I dunno, I’m curious…” 

Megumi’s eyebrows raise hearing the word curious. 

Yuji backtracks quickly, “I mean I’m not- I like women, so I’m definitely not gay.” He huffs, cheeks blushing. “It’s just… kinda cool getting to know you better? I want to learn more about you… about this in general, I guess.” 

Megumi is somewhat touched by Yuji’s openness. And that’s the thing about Yuji. He constantly surprises Megumi with the most thoughtful, selfless acts and words, and Megumi doesn’t always know what to do with that or why it gives him butterflies in his stomach. It doesn’t matter how much he pushes Yuji away, he always gets reeled back in.  

“Uh, Okay…” Megumi isn’t the most eloquent with words. “What do you want to know? Nothing weird, or we’re never talking about this again.” Megumi already regrets his open invitation. He shoves the rest of his rice ball in his mouth. 

Yuji contemplates for a moment, a hand coming to his chin, stroking. “Oh! What kind of guys are you into?” 

Megumi swallows, a deadpan expression on his face. “Seriously?” 

“Seriously! You never answered me!” 

“Why do you even care?” Megumi sneers as he adds, “Afraid I might hit on you?” 

Yuji sputters, “Wh-what?! No!” 

Megumi hums, unconvinced. 

Yuji can’t help his impulsive curiosity as he pries, “Am I your type? Like, would you hit on me if I liked guys too?” 

“No,” Megumi replies, almost too quickly. He looks away, biting the inside of his cheek.

Yuji doesn’t catch it, but someone else does. 

He’s lying, Yuji, Sukuna’s voice projects in Yuji’s head.

Fuck off, this is a private conversation! 

That little faggot definitely wants you. Sukuna continues with a laugh. You never noticed the way he looks at you when you’re not paying attention?

Shut up! Just shut up and get out of here! 

“Uh, you good, Itadori?” Megumi’s voice cuts through the internal dialogue. Yuji had been staring blankly, eyebrows knit, as if having some sort of internal battle. “Don’t tell me I hurt your feelings...” 

Yuji laughs dryly, shaking his head, “Yeah, I’m good, sorry, Fushiguro.” He does his best to suppress Sukuna’s presence for the time being. “And I’m not offended, at all.” He says it almost as if he’s trying to convince himself, not Megumi. 

Megumi stands, sighing, “I gotta get to class.” 

“I’ll walk with you.” Yuji offers eagerly and Megumi shrugs. Before they walk into one of the campus buildings, Yuji asks, “Speaking of which… Does Gojo know?” 

“No,” Megumi replies immediately in a harsh tone. He stops walking for a moment, giving Yuji a serious, warning stare. “And I plan to keep it that way.” 

Yuji shirks at Megumi’s cold expression, nodding. He holds out his pinky, making a gesture of zipping his lips. 

Megumi looks down, then up, blankly. He begrudgingly links his pinky finger with Yuji’s.

[p0pcorn-hearts]

Aphmau headcanons yay!!

(Except its just four main characters and a handful of miscellaneous headcanons because writing more than that is too much effort and also painful)

Aphmau

She has ADHD that's usually inattentive but sometimes is hyperactive

Both a cat and a dog person

Had a bit of an anger problem in high school but is much better at anger management as an adult

Because of her half-werewolf blood her teeth are slightly more pointy

Listens to dubstep and 2000-2010s pop music

Has chronic insomnia but can and will sleep the entire day away

Rejection sensitive dysphoria. Would do anything to make sure you don't hate her

Would chug a bottle of imitation vanilla extract to prove she's sorry

Super competitive though

Would chug a bottle of imitation vanilla extract to prove she's right/better

"If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?" "Yes"

Aaron

It gets really cold where he lived so he used to draw stick figures in the frost on his bedroom window

Has a few tattoos, nothing serious, just a moon on his back and a full sleeve inspired by his favorite band (okay so a bit serious)

Listens to exclusively rock but is fine with Aphmau’s pop music. He doesn't get it, but he loves her too much

He got the tattoos like right when he was free from his dad and now he kinda regrets them, but he has to admit, the full sleeve is fuckin awesome

Writes songs for his guitar, although he doesn't show anyone because they range from love songs about Aphmau to full blown vent songs about his PTSD from his dad

Speaking of his PTSD, he gets frequent nightmares and even when he doesn't or when he can't remember his nightmare, he'll still jolt awake in a cold sweat

Used to have a pet rock that he'd throw at kids who bothered him

His dad made sure to take care of that one

Still draws stick figures on frosted glasses, but while as a kid he'd draw his family, he now draws his friends and Aph

Actually decently friends with Garroth and Travis. They shit talk people together

There was once one time Aaron hung out with Laurence, Garroth, Dante, and Travis, and they ordered pizza but they couldn't pay so they played rock paper scissors to see who would negotiate and Dante lost, so he attempted to sway the pizza guy into lowering the price while fucking 6'5 Aaron stood ominously over Dante, piercing into the guy's soul

It actually worked

It never worked again though

Hanami (Kawaii~Chan for the uninitiated)

Autism

Is the token straight friend although she acts super gay, like she doesn't like girls but she *will* kiss the homies goodnight

Bakes even though meif'wa literally cannot have sugar

She has perfected her own recipes for sugar-free, sugar, and sweetened cupcakes

When she's angry her whole body scrunches up. Like she tenses, her ears lay flat on her head, her arms are pressed tightly to her sides, and her face scrunches up

Has almost sent Lucinda to the hospital because they'd get in play fights and meifwa claws are sharp

Best girl scout in the business. Literally created her own cookie because of her love of experimenting with baked good

Would eat plain rice. Just a ball of plain white rice

When startled, she jumps like three feet horizontally

Always lands on her feet. Except for when she doesn't

Knows how to sew and often modifies her clothing to add more ruffles and bows. When Katelyn wanted to put on a play her and Cadenza worked on the costumes together

Super competitive also

Would chug a bottle of imitation vanilla extract-

Highly empathetic. It's to the point that people being upset around her can get very overwhelming very fast

Ran a meif'wa colony in high school. She was often underestimated by the other colonies but she ended up being front and center a lot of conflicts and her colony remained standing after The Jury

She only has like three people in it though. Aimi (OC because there aren't enough meifwa), Xin (OC because there aren't enough meifwa), and June

Zane

Autism

Also has asthma, ASPD, depression and PTSD

Like pick a struggle 🙄

Was in a gang in high school but luckily has a rich daddy who can afford a lawyer to get Zane out of the legal trouble

Greatly regrets it now as like his only options for work are minimum wage and Aphmau and Aaron’s business

Lacks a lot of empathy but still good at comfort. He just somehow knows the right things to say even if he doesn't really get what they're upset about

Not actually emo, he's goth. He was emo back in high school because Gene is emo but only knew My Chemical Romance. He realized that he actually much preferred goth music and had a trad goth phase in college before settling on just more casual outfits during a massive depressive episode

How much Zane dresses up is a legitimate indicator of his mental health

Is he just wearing sweatpants and hoodies? Depressive episode

Is he wearing jeans and jewelry? He's fine

Also genderfluid (he/him or she/her, depends what gender hes presenting as)

Didn't really explore that side of himself until he was friends with Aphmau

Trauma :(

Likes vocaloid (Hanami's fault)

Miscellaneous that might get their own posts

Dottie, Daniel, and Blaze were in an open relationship until, yknow, Blaze kinda died

After that, Dottie and Daniel continued dating but decided to close their relationship until they properly got over Blaze dying right in front of them

The Shadow Knights are also dating, but they specifically date after high school after they went through their character arcs and became better people

Sasha dated Michi once

You can imagine how bad it was

Canontypical first Sapphic relationship

Melissa likes Twilight but hides it

Travis is essentially one of the girls. He mightve flirted with every one of them but Aph swears on him being cool. They invited him over for a sleepover once and they had so much Travis is just automatically invited to the sleepovers and girl nights out. He is very happy

Imagine getting invited to every outing with the girls but you cannot get a single chick. Even Zane, who is an honorary girl like Travis some days and an actual girl other days, has a girlfriend

It's okay, he has Dante

Dante is like "bro I just cannot pick up chicks" and Travis is like "me neither :(" they turn to each other. "I would date you if you were a girl" Dante said. "Me too" Travis said. There's a pause. They begin making out

Dante did have Nicole but they broke up on good terms because Nicole pursued a master's in engineering and it required too much attention. They're still besties though and hang out whenever Nicole is in town

Nicole is steampunk goals

Okay that's it. You may exit the theater carefully on your right

[iamnmbr3]

honestly why did jkr choose DUMBLEDORE as arbitrary gay 'rep'. Besides the not even there stuff he is an awful person.

(And you could pretty easily read him as that sort of Creep. Like I know that's not the sort of grooming people mean but that's always what I think :( )

I know. She really went 'diversity win! the serial liar and manipulator of children who is weirdly fixated on the attractiveness of an 11 year old is gay!'

Now I am absolutely NOT saying that a gay character cannot be flawed or even downright evil. Being gay doesn't make someone inherently bad - or inherently good. Gay people are humans - and just like any other group of humans are capable of the full range of human complexity. However, when the ONLY gay character is like this it feels like their negative personality traits are tied to their gayness. (Just like if Dumbledore was the only straight character it might feel like the author was was casting aspersions on the morality of straight people - even if that wasn't her intent).

Also it's so weird because there were so many other characters that are very frequently read as queer - including Tonks, Lupin, Draco, and Sirius. Not to mention HARRY POTTER himself. But nope. JKR was extremely resistant to anyone even suggesting these characters might not be straight (lol joke's on her - she might not have meant to write these characters as not straight but she did. be mad about it jkr). Only the character who had one queer romance which was extremely destructive and then swore himself to a life of celibacy where he spends all his time manipulated children is allowed to be gay apparently. smh.

And yeah. As for Dumbledore coming across kinda creepy, I definitely think it wasn't JKR's intention but it is a very valid reading based on what she wrote. I mean Dumbledore literally is out there saying 'oh yeah one of the only reasons adults liked this 11 year old child was because he was hot' without any awareness of how incredibly messed up a thing that is to say.

Like if that's something he's comfortable admitting publicly what thoughts doesn't he admit to? This is just an incredibly bizarre thing to say and really says a lot about how he perceives the world.

Why does he assume that all adult teachers pay attention to how attractive the children they are responsible for are? Why does he assume that teachers' treatment of their UNDERAGE STUDENTS is affected by attractive they find each child? That is not how an adult should ever be relating to or thinking about a child.

And it's specifically attractiveness he highlights - not cuteness or charm or literally anything even slightly more appropriate to favor a child for (even though it would still be wrong to favor a student). No. It's the same way he talks about Tom later. He suggests that Tom used his looks in some sort of evil seductor routine to victimize Hepzibah Smith - even though what we actually see is HER creeping on Tom, so it comes across very much as a "he was asking for it" and "he was to blame because he was being a temptation simply by existing" type perspective which is absolutely repellent. And seemingly Dumbledore was thinking about Tom in that way right from the beginning.

In addition, I will say it's notable that in the Hepzibah Smith memory Dumbledore seems to sympathize with the person who is acting as a predator. (I mean she literally touches Tom without his consent and tries to hit on him multiple times while he tries to change the subject and seems super uncomfortable; she is the aggressor in that interaction).

It's also notable that Dumbledore seems to take Tom rejection of him at their first meeting very personally which is odd. Tom's reaction to Dumbledore is not that surprising but Albus seems to take great offense at the fact that Tom does not trust or look up to or like him and does not want to spend time with him or accept his friendship. It's a rather unusual way for an adult to react.

And more generally he doesn't treat children as children. He talks about child!Tom the same as he does adult!Tom and doesn't seem to view him as ever having been fundamentally different. He happily sends Harry and his friends into danger.

He also has a nasty habit of reading people's minds without their consent. I don't think it's a coincidence that nothing about the topic of Occlumency is taught at Hogwarts. It seems that he's been frequently reading the minds of the Golden Trio (and probably other students) for years - probably since book 1; and the mind is a very intimate and scared part of a person that shouldn't just be violated. Characters having a blank or closed look is often used as a descriptor to suggest that that character is employing Occlumency. We know Tom's mind powers were quite developed and I think he successfully blocked Dumbledore from his mind during their first encounter (after Dumbledore read his mind to find out about the things he stole) as right after that scene he is described in similar ways to scenes where characters use Occlumency. And this denial and rejection may been part of what particularly irritated Dumbledore.

His interactions with kids - and especially his fixation on Tom - are very weird. And you could definitely read it as him having some sort of repressed (or not repressed) attraction/fixation that he's probably in denial about (or does mental gymnastics to justify). 100 percent not JKR's intent. But yeah. The way she wrote him is kinda off.

[musicalmoritz]

Funniest headcanons?

Okay wow I have so many crack headcanons so prepare yourself. Take every negative thing I’ve ever said abt fanon and throw it out the window, this is about to get so unserious

• Hanako is a fudanshi. This applies to the whole Toilet Gang (except Nene would be called a fujoshi), they’ve got a little book club. Hanako is the most insane about it tho

• Aoi and Akane are a himejoshi/himedanshi couple

• Lemon and Akane smoke weed together on a regular basis (throw back to the time I looked up “slang words for marijuana” for my Terukaneaoi fic and ended up sounding like Skyler White)

• I feel like an average conversation between the Toilet Gang is the most insufferable, out of pocket middle school humor you’ve ever heard in your life. Those four make South Park look like a kids show

• Akane has a random lock of Aoi’s hair on a shelf in his room

• Since the Minamoto father is absent and the mother is dead, Tiara just kind of assumes Teru and Akane are her parents. Instead of correcting her on this, Akane decides to be the dad who stepped up

• Akane is one of those filmbros who does NOT play abt Pulp Fiction (me) (that’s the second time I’ve mentioned that movie in relation to Akane today)

• He’s also the type to ask you to name three Nirvana songs if he catches you wearing one of their shirts and if you even so much as think about saying Smells Like Teen Spirit, he’ll shoot you in the head

• Hanako is lowkey mad Kou and Mitsuba started dating without him

• In the TBHK universe, Mei is the one who drew the Miku Binder Thomas Jefferson image

• Nene writes reader insert fan fiction

• She’s also a BookTok girlie (not one of the really bad ones, just cringy. As in she would unironically love the book boyfriend audio)

• Sakura is rly into disturbing movies and they make Natsuhiko watch them with them just to make him nauseous

• Hanako and Kou jokingly flirt with each other and it makes Mitsuba and Nene genuinely mad. Like Hanako can ruin Mitsuba’s day with a single “I can take your man”

• Yk that one image of Cheryl Blossom wearing an “I ❤️ Boys” shirt? Teru owns that shirt

• Akane is the type of dude to raise his hand during a class discussion and say “I’d like to play the Devil’s Advocate”

• Aoi flirts with waitresses very poorly and it gives Nene severe secondhand embarrassment

• Once a week, Natsuhiko challenges Teru to a fight. She loses every single time

• Nene has one of those traumatic hamster death stories

• Mitsuba’s hair is dyed so whenever he’s being particularly annoying, Tsukasa tells him his roots are showing

• Kou and Nene have had one of those awkward “I have a crush on someone🤭 And it’s someone you know veryyyy well👀” moments

• Sumire used to climb to the highest places she could find to get Hakubo’s attention, and it gave him a mini heart attack each time

• OG Mei had a fursona. It was a dragon

• Yk in Spongebob when Squidward was confirmed to be the most miserable person in all of the Bikini Bottom?? In the TBHK universe that’s Akane except it’s for all of Japan

• Teru has given the “I’m vengeance, I am the knight” speech while exorcizing supernaturals AT LEAST once

• The Minamotos frequently watch Cinderella together bcuz Tiara is obsessed with it, to the point that it’s become Teru and Kou’s favorite movie as well. Teru drags his friends to watch it with him too but Kou refuses to admit he likes it

• Kou chews with his mouth open

• Mitsuba has cheesy romantic fantasies about Kou the same way Nene does about her crushes (I credit this one to one of my TikTok mutuals @/mads)

• Natsuhiko has an ASMR account (just like they do in the Monster Nursery au)

• Tiara doesn’t quite understand the premise of being gay or coming out so every day she congratulates Kou on being bi

• Kou straight up lies to Tiara about things, it’s an older sibling canon event. Teru does the same to Kou. For example I once told my sister you could dilute chocolate milk into regular milk by pouring water in it. And she believed me.

• Despite the fact that Kou’s been friends with them for many years, Teru regularly forgets Yokoo and Satou’s names

• Aoi and Nene’s mothers have a bet on when the two of them will reveal they’re secretly dating

• Mei is one of those ppl who’s allergic to almost everything. You order a plate of shrimp beside her and before it even hits the table she’s like “Keep that FAR away from me”

• Kako was homophobic until meeting Akane. A “I don’t support that lifestyle” kind of homophobe. Before meeting Akane’s baseball bat

• It’s okay tho he supports his bisexual son now!! He goes to pride parades and everything

• Mirai braids Akane’s hair when she’s bored

• Tsuchigomori has never felt the touch of a man

• If you say one bad word about Teru around Kou, you better be prepared for a full monologue. Stan Twitter wishes they could be as dedicated as Kou (Yokoo: I want to kms / Kou: Wait until the next student council election we can’t lose votes)

• To avoid tarnishing her popular girl image by coming off as rude, whenever Aoi wants to leave a conversation with someone she doesn’t like she pretends to faint

• Mitsuba breaks up with Kou every other day

• When Aoi and Nene are having trouble communicating their feelings verbally, they find a wrestling ring and box their feelings out

• Aoi and Nene apply to every job together, they are a package deal

• Kou is the designated bug killer for the Toilet Gang

• Yako can talk to other foxes. But only foxes, no other animals so the power isn’t all that exciting

• Natsuhiko hasn’t picked up on Mitsuba being gay yet so he keeps offering to set him up with girls

• Sakura has been involved in at least (1) unethical psychology experiment in the past. They administered those shocks for Milgram with a completely straight face

• The hands in Mitsuba’s boundary reflect his feelings so every time Kou comes to visit, they jump around him like overexcited dogs

• Tsukasa had a very intense Alvin and the Chipmunks phase

Okay I have homework that’s due in like 2 hours so I’m gonna have to end it there. I hope my terrible sense of humor amused some of you

[08melancholie]

Giddy up, Cowboy. — Micah Bell/Arthur Morgan.

tags: enemies to whatever the fuck they are, Toxic Yaoi type shit i love them oh god, Toxic Yaoi, Arthur Morgan Does Not Have Tuberculosis, Medium Honor Arthur Morgan, Micah Bell Is His Own Warning, Smut, Porn, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Blow Jobs, Oral Sex, Rough Oral Sex, Gay Sex, Anal, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Multiple Orgasms, Switching, Tension, Sexual Tension, Resolved Sexual Tension, Spit As Lube, Semi-Public Sex, Hate Sex, but just a teeny-tiny bit of it, SORRY couldn't help myself i hate them both and i also love them, honestly fucking micah bell is like sex as self harm here is it not???, i think just liking micah is self harm tbh

summary: Part 2 of 'Patch up, Cowboy'/Morbell fic #1 Series; A few weeks after the 'homestead job incident'—as Arthur calls it—more tension ensues between the two cowboys, leading to a whole lot of sexual exploration for one night out.

a/n: i have the worst love/hate relationship sith these two guys its insane. i drew art of this btw (not the sex part but the tension before bcz yk i love tension...)

words: 3,010 | AO3 LINK — SERIES LINK (Part 1&2)

When did things get this out of hand?

Does being on your knees in front of the biggest asshole you know cancel out the fact you both hate each others' guts? Or, what about having your hand in-between their shoulder blades, looking down at them bent over for you? Arthur sure as hell wonders.

Time has been flying by all too slowly since what happened during the homestead robbery, or well, after the planned ambush that Dutch himself fell fooled to. There was always a horrible tension between the two men, just not like the usual where they'd see each other in camp and sometimes glare in distaste; they'd avert their gazes and hide themselves under their hats. This went on for weeks without stop, endless hiding and avoiding. But they couldn't avoid how it made their bodies feel.

It became such a frequent thing that they both started acting like it was normal to get yourself off at night at the thought of the other. Hell, even Micah started going to his tent earlier in the night, just for that.

Lucky for them, most of the gang members didn't notice anything weird about their demeanour to one-another—unlucky for them was that the only person who noticed, was the one that could complicate their situation.

As soon as the two of them arrived back into camp, Dutch had a clear idea that something happened, and the fact they wouldn't disclose what both worried and frustrated him. Nobody was saying anything, and they avoided each other like the plague. So, Dutch went down to the core of the situation—the two of them couldn't stand being around each other, so why not make them? Great thinking.

Dutch set Micah and Arthur together for night watch, ignoring the many protests from both men who were sat in his tent. "I don't want to hear it; if you won't tell me what happened that's caused this, this is the alternative."

Clearly, neither Micah or Arthur had the guts to admit to their leader that they get aroused when around one another, or simply thinking of each other. They silently stared at Dutch for a moment before he shooed them off to process his words and what they'd have to do tonight.

It was seriously like a death sentence for them, having to finally face the problem head-on. Alone, with nobody to bother them. Alone.

With every moment that the sun dipped further down the horizon, the nerves of the two men grew. Stood so close to each other, their foreheads painted in sweat and an uncomfortably tense silence hanging in the air. It's terrible, really. The entire night at the fire replays in their minds, and it makes night watch very hard, seeing as they can't focus to save their lives. It takes a few hellishly long minutes for the tense silence to be broken, by Micah. "Have a light, Morgan?" Arthur—reluctantly—looks over at the sound of Micah's accented voice, who was a cigar hanging in his mouth, already looking at him.

"Uh, yeah." Arthur reaches into his satchel for a matchbox, taking one out to light when Micah offers Arthur a different cigar, for him to take. Weirdly enough, since Micah would usually rather do anything but share even a simple cigarette. With confusion and caution, Arthur takes the second cigar and lights the match. He brings it up to his cigar when Micah gets up very close to him, and Arthur feels Micah wrap an arm around his shoulder, using the same flame to light his cigar at the same time, while looking at Arthur—which makes him feel the sudden tightness of his trousers just like the night before. Little goddamn tease.

When the cigars light and Arthur tosses the match aside, Micah doesn't move back to his previous spot. His arm falls off of Arthurs shoulder, but he says right next to him. A silence befalls them again, but its so much worse. Why do they do this to themselves? Get each other riled up like this? It isn't benefitting anyone currently; they're just standing around with their erections outlined into their trousers.

Well, Micah has a plan, it seems.

"I don't eva do this type'a thing, cowpoke," He takes a final puff of his cigar when it's almost used-up, tossing it to the dirt and crushing with his boot. "so I'd feel honored if I was you." He chuckles slightly, but Arthur is still confused by what he means. Micah cocks his head at the mans' confusion. "Come on, 'ya don't see it?" Arthur definitely feels the blood run up to his cheeks when Micah looks directly to his bulge, and has to hold back on covering it with his hands.

Well, not like Micah doesn't have one of his own; a goddamn massive one. "What're you implying, Micah?"

The blonde man chuckles again. "It's like'm talkin' to a virgin;" He decides to be blunt about it, seeing as Arthur is either playing extremely coy, or is clueless. "let's help each other out. Just tonight—never speak of it again."

And while it does make Arthur's blood split between going to his already throbbing dick and already red enough face, it isn't that horrible of an offer. Night watch almost never escalates, and they've got nothing to lose in this situation; only to gain. The fact that Arthur is considering the offer is enough for Micah to quietly snicker and fully face Arthur now. "Good, so that's a 'yes'," He comments, and Arthur doesn't exactly disagree. "Well then, on your knees."

"On my knees?" Arthur creased an eyebrow at Micah, who just scoffed and nodding in a 'duh' motion. Arthur wasn't too keen on it, but he couldn't run from the fact that he'd envisioned this multiple times before, and that acting off about doing such a thing was only lying to himself. And so, he does as he's asked.

He shuffles down to the grass below, the terrain not as harsh as he expected it to be. He looks up at Micah, whose got the most obvious outline in his trousers he's ever seen, straining against the material. "..Damn, Morgan." Micah can't help staring down at him, practically mesmerised.

After a long pause of mere eye-contact and Micah's clothed shaft twitching at Arthur, he reaches up to fiddle with the gun belt around Micah's hips, and he other man enjoys it throughly, letting Arthur work him freely, as he likes. The gun belt meets the floor on Arthurs level, and he slowly moves to the beige trousers that Micah almost always wears, sliding the zipper down and undoing the little silver button holding the clothing article together. His fingers trace the rim of Micah's pants before slipping into the waistband, pulling down the restraints keeping his erection at bay. It jumps up at Arthur when Micah's trousers sit the floor, a small string of precum connected to the boxers around Micah's ankles that slowly drips down the red tip in front of Arthurs face. He's more thick than long, about average for all Arthur knows.

Micah is watching every nimble movement Arthur makes like a hawk, how he slowly undresses him and how he gawks at his cock, as if trying to figure it out. It brings a brief, huffy laugh out of Micah, looking down at Arthur in this position he can't help feeling even more turned on. "'Ya gonna start?" He breaks the silence up, licking his chapped lip that's long healed from the day at the homestead. Arthur clears his throat before sitting up on his knees to be on-level with Micahs hips, his rough hands sliding up Micah's slightly hairy thighs. Clearly, nerves are still pretty high about all this, but maybe a taste of whats to come will do Arthur good?

Has Arthur ever done this before? No, he was absolutely clueless on what he was doing. Has he had enough blowjobs to kind-of guess what he had to do? Possibly. He'll test that out. He gazes up to meet Micahs eyes as he leans closer to it, parting his lips slightly to peek his tongue out for a taste of the precum on Micah's tip. It's salty and slimy, connecting with Arthurs tongue as he licks a stripe up the head of it, earning a nice and low sigh from Micah, whose hand runs itself through Arthurs bangs and baby hairs, grabbing and tightly holding onto the brown strands as they fly out in every direction between his clenched fist. Arthur must be doing something right, surely. And so, he continues his slow, almost teasing licks up Micah's shaft, ending right at the leaky tip that twitches, begs him for more. And more he shall get.

"Fuuck, Morgan." Micahs hand pulls slightly on the brown hairs between his fingers, drawing him a bit closer. Dignity? What's that? Arthur's hands find the sides of Micah's thighs, still looking him directly in the eyes as his tongue makes a mockery of the twitchy cock in front of him—licking, kissing, hell, almost tempted to spit on it. It's like a twisted natural instinct that just makes him look like he knows what he's doing, how to tease Micah just right. You may call it revenge for all of Micah's own moments, some would say.

After a presumably long enough period of time, Arthur starts making his own self impatient—surprise, surprise. He parts his mouth enough to fit Micah's tip in his mouth, drawing a nice and long groan from Micah, Arthur getting his hair pulled a little harder by the man in response. "That's it," He hums quietly, feeling Arthur's tongue swirl around one time to gauge the blonde man's reaction—gaining a positive one, thankfully.

It's not long before Arthur has his cheeks hollowed—just to be filled by Micah's thick member until he's gone all in, his eyes narrowed and lidded, staring up at Micah when his lips almost meet the mans' stomach. It feels almost humiliating, but the lust somehow seems to very easily overpower any shame Arthur could be feeling about this—sucking another male off in the middle of camp, essentially. When Micah finally bottoms out in Arthurs mouth, he starts taking the reins; both hands on one side of the other man's head, gripping just enough to start moving to his own preferred pace. A few noises of discomfort from Arthur pass by Micah, who doesn't stop for a moment to remember that Arthur hadn't had any time to get used to Micah's whole length in his mouth—but Micah isn't considerate enough anyways, and being blue-balled so damn long really does bring some desperation and carelessness into a man.

Arthur's head bobs back and forth with a small grunt, his hands gripping onto Micah's outer thighs for life, trying to keep himself grounded while slowly losing himself in the moment. Without much warning—other than a soft groan and curse under his breath—Micah suddenly comes, painting the back of Arthur's throat in his spent. The man coughs and almost chokes when it happens, having been absolutely unprepared for it. Micah holds Arthurs head in place until he's got every drop running down Arthur's throat, only then letting his grip falter and withdrawing from the cowboys' mouth. "Well, that was somethin', huh cowpoke?"

Arthur gives himself a breather, coughing a few more times before he stands up to his full height, now towering over Micah once more. He curses under his breath as he tries to swallow the aftertaste down, before fully turning to Micah. "Think I've earned a turn." Micah looks at him for a moment before—somewhat reluctantly—starting to kneel. "Oh no, not that." Arthur grabs Micah by the shoulder, his strength unmatched by the other outlaw as he's spun and tossed around up to a nearby barrel, trying to look back at Arthur. "The hell is—"

He's shut up by the sound of metal, more precisely Arthur's belt unbuckling and trousers slowly dropping. Arthur tosses Micah's coat over his back to get a better view of just what he's doing, then pushes a heavy hand down the curve of Micah's lower back to arch him just slightly more. In Arthur's eyes, Micah is complying almost a little too freely to this, but he won't comment on that; as to not agitate him into leaving like the, usually selfish, asshole he can be. Arthur lets his garments drop with a sigh, feeling the cold night air almost instantly on his hot, throbbing cock that's already long leaking pre-cum.

A faint sound of spitting almost echoes through the woods around the area, a string of warm saliva dropping down on Micah's hole before it's circled around slowly by Arthur's finger. At least he's done anal before—God knows if Micah ever has, but judging by how he visibly clenches under Arthur's digit and how his hands dig into the wooden barrel underneath him for support, it's possible he hasn't. "Calm down," Arthurs leans down slightly to murmur, running a hand under the coat and undershirt Micah has on up his back, cold fingertips tracing his spine up to the space between his shoulder blades as he slowly eases a thumb into Micah, earning a small noise out of Micah, something between a hiss and moan. "loosen your muscles, it'll feel better." Arthur whispers, trying to almost guide Micah through this. Just why was he talking all sweet to him? Only God knows.

Micah manages to stop practically sucking Arthur's finger in, and the cowboy uses that as an opportunity to slip another in, earning himself another low moan from Micah which he rewards with a squeeze to the nape of Micah's neck where his hand now rests. "That's it," he adds when he scissors the two digits, trying to loosen Micah up as much as possible for his twitching shaft. Micah's sounds fill the surrounding nature, thankfully not loud enough to wake any camp members in the near radius. Arthur slowly withdraws his fingers before lining his tip up to Micah's anus, moving his hand to Micah's hip while the other rests between his shoulder blades to keep him in position. Micah is practically helpless under Arthur, the other man much stronger than himself which allows the cowboy to move him as he likes.

Arthur then circles his pre-cum over Micah's entrance with his tip, a little more lube just in case. He takes a moment, both to let Micah and himself brace for this, before he starts pushing his hips up to Micah's backside, Arthur's member slowly entering the others' body. He holds Micah in place and whispers really low words of encouragement to keep Micah from clenching and tightening too hard around him, easing each inch in and punctuating it with a small praise, either a word or squeeze of his hip and body.

Slowly but surely, Arthur close to bottoms out in Micah, who is gripping the barrel almost painfully hard to stay grounded. He hissed into his forearm and arches involuntarily with every one of Arthurs' filling movements, actually fairly enjoying the praise he receives from the man, surprisingly enough.

Arthur's hips finally come in contact with Micah's ass, fully sheathing his dick deep into the outlaws' guts. He takes a small breather, letting Micah adjust before he slowly pulls out to the tip, and slams back in. Micah grunts into his sleeve, biting down on his lip to keep himself as silent as possible with every slow yet deep repeat penetration from Arthur's length, who leans down and keeps his sweet, sweet praise up, mumbling low and encouraging words right next to Micah's ear as his cock repeatedly drills down Micah's asshole, skin slapping skin and ragged breathing filling the surrounding area, only ever interrupted by a low curse from Micah and rewarding praise from Arthur.

"I'm close, gonna let me inside?" Arthur suddenly breaks the silence that lingered for a moment, not faltering his rutting into Micah's ass once.

Micah manages to reply between all his little lewd grunts and groans, moans and mewls that spill like a waterfall. "Go right.. ahead, cowpoke.."

Arthur doesn't need much more clarification, he speeds up and leans back up to get a good angle on Micah, fucking into him a bit more roughly to get himself closer. Micah's moans and curses turn incoherent, words becoming fully intelligible to Arthurs' ears as he focuses on his pace and depth, while Micah moves a hand down to his already-newly-hard member to jerk himself to an orgasm.

These lewd noises could probably drive anyone away from camp that shouldn't be there, so technically, the camp isn't being exactly unprotected.

Soon enough, with a quiet 'shit!', Arthur connects his hips with Micah's backside and empties himself into the man, both hands moving to his hips to keep him there as his cock twitches deep inside Micah, every drop spilling into him. Micah gasps and jerks himself a few times before spilling into his hand, gasping for air as he reaches his second orgasm that night and Arthur leans down onto his back tiredly, his knees almost weak from what just went down. Their chests move in sync, heaving and trying to regulate their ragged and quickened breaths as Arthur slowly pulls out, reaching down to get his drawls and pants back on before clasping his gun belt on.

Micah recovers soon after as well, reaching down and covering himself as well as he wipes sweat off his forehead, finally grateful that the nights have gotten colder for once.

Micah picks his gun back up, with Arthur doing the same. They stand there for a quick moment, thinking back on whatever the hell just happened, when Arthur is the one of break the silence this time, turning his head towards Micah at almost the same time as the other cowboy.

"You have another cigar, Bell?"

"..Just one left."

"Maybe we can share."

Kudos on AO3 heavily appreciated!! Finally, the morbell fic is out of my goddamn drafts. I've wanted to finish this for weeks, but I've been worried about whether or whether not the writing was any good, considering I've never written this ship in a sexual setting—or written any gay sex before. But, nonetheless, needed to get it done. Hope it was good!

[lightningbreath]

I want to make it clear from the outset that having headcanons or theories is not a problem. Getting frustrated when they don't come true is not a problem either. But it is when people treat these headcanons as if Nintendo had an obligation to fulfill them.

I find it genuinely funny how some fans got so deep into their headcanons to the point of getting angry at the existence of Yona (poor girl) and the fact that Sidon is in a straight relationship, but that doesn't surprise me coming from people who claim to fight against stereotypes but are the ones who live and propagate stereotypes the most (the amount that most of the queer people I've met have been bugging me about being bisexual and aromantic is unbelievable).

I mean, as if canon would stop fujoshis from turning all the men in a series gay, no matter their sexuality, way of behaving or if they're in a relationship or not, so I don't understand why they say that Nintendo "removed the queer coding" when this was just a hc, Nintendo never implied that Sidon was queer, if they had said something like "a Zelda character will be queer" I could even understand, but that wasn't the case.

Now, in my opinion, the way Sidon talks and treats Link reminds me a lot of how my sister acts with the BTS boys, I think Sidon has a very idealized vision of Link, he talks about Link as if he were his favorite Marvel superhero and if we take into account that Link doesn't even seem to have frequented the Zora Region much during the time between Botw and Totk and that his ring doesn't even go on his ring finger.... anyway, it was cool to see Sidon's maturity, although his behavior is adorable, he's not a baby anymore.

I admit that Yona's introduction came out of nowhere, but honestly, TOTK introduces and disappears characters out of nowhere, Kass simply disappeared from the map, NPCs forgot about Link and the whole story of Sonia and Rauru also came out of absolutely nowhere. If Yona was the only one in this situation I would give her the benefit of the doubt, but that's not the case.

Not to mention that for a game ""with a hetero code"" I wonder why Nintendo didn't confirm right away that Link and Zelda are a couple instead of just saying this, I swear, how hard is it to formalize them? People will complain about anything, but no, Nintendo is afraid of I don't know what.

I will never forgive Nintendo for taking away the possibility of Zelda being a companion in the adventure or at least having a more constant presence. Thanks to that, I am living off of fanfics and fanarts.

P. S.: I wonder, if we ever get a remake of OoT, if Nintendo gives Malon a husband or canonizes OoT Zelink, how the fandom will react to that?

P. S. S.: Also, since people still complain to this day that TotK didn't turn Ganondorf into a "uwu boy who's just a poor victim of circumstances", a theory fueled by the appearance that the 10,000-year-old Hero had on the tapestry is because Ganondorf is a sexy man.

Although, on this last point I have to be honest, I was disappointed with the fact that Nintendo basically threw away the cinematics from the first TotK trailer and basically ignored the Sheikah technology, everything that Botw had hinted about the Zonai and the whole story of the Calamity from 10,000 years before Botw.

Anyway, it's just a question of how this fandom takes headcanons as if they were an absolute truth, and this ends up causing unnecessary fights because no one wants to admit that their hc may be unlikely to happen.

But that's just my opinion. Thank you for reading.

[disasterbijamietartt]

Maybe I’m delusional and drank too much wine, but this is why Roy Kent being a closeted queer man explains EVERYTHING

While writing my meta piece about Jamie x Keeley I spent a lot of time thinking “What about Roy?”, since there are no convincing love interests for him aside from Keeley.

And, well, Jamie.

And for the first time I evaluated this as something that really could happen, since now there is the legit possibility that they make homophobia in professional football the prevalent theme in this season and having multiple queer storylines would help to illustrate different point of views and they could explore this with a Roy x Jamie romance plot.

And then I looked at Roy and … basically everything fell into place.

Why he represses his emotions, why he is so so angry, why he is so full with insecurities and struggles with his self-worth, why he is unable to show (physical or emotional) affection to a man without somehow having to taint it with an unnecessarily violent outbreak – the only notable exception being the Hug™️ in “Man City”. Something that hasn’t been addressed by anyone since then, which was a choice I always considered very odd, but postponing Roy’s character development to season 3 makes actually lot’s of sense, if Roy’s struggles are rooted in internalised homophobia. And if being queer in professional sports is the theme of season 3 like mental health was the theme of season 2.

Still makes his angry, violent outbursts really jarring and he has to show accountability, but if the pain he inflicted on others is related to the trauma of being forced to be in the closet for 25 odd years, that would be so heartbreaking. And it would fit into the theme of the show that actually good people like Rebecca or Jamie – and Nate once he gets his redemption – do unforgivable things and inflict pain on people who do not deserve it as a trauma response. Sure, it could be some other trauma – but this explanation would fit so well into this seasons theme, it just makes SO MUCH SENSE to me.

Also, Trent’s critique explains some of Roy’s insecurities, but he already was full of anger at seventeen, so the root of his anger has to be something different – and growing up queer in a hella homophobic surrounding since age ten and forced to stay in the closet unless he wants to throw away his dream career, if that is not a reason to be filled to the brim with anger, I don’t know what is.

And as far as I recall, the only people he actually physically attacks are Colin (the headbutt in 1x3) and Jamie. Then his beef with Trent.

In other words, we only ever see him being irrationally aggressive and violent towards queer coded or canonically queer men. Yes, he usually has reasons that are not related to (coded) sexuality – with the notable exception of “I have to headbutt Jamie before I hug him lest it seems gay!”

And the “ugly, ugly boy”-thing? Vanity is often used for queer coding. So Roy mocks something about Jamie that is queer coded.

This screams internalised homophobia.

But I hear the naysayer going “Aren’t you reaching a bit?”

Maybe, but let us take a look at some ways how Roy is queer coded that come to mind off the top of my head.

First of all: He canonically has a secret double life, where he is notably softer, hangs out with a bunch of elderly women who have no clue who Roy Kent, professional angry footballer, is, and does yoga with them, frequents gay bars, hangs out with drag queens and watches reality tv while sipping rosé, which is a sweet girly drink, like you know “vanilla vodka. such a child.” – in his “real life” Roy would never ever drink rosé or admit to anyone that he watched even a single second of “Lust Conquers All” by accident (Keeley definitely didn’t know, or she would have teased him with this).

Who else has a secret double life? Colin.

And while I hate to be “look, so many gay stereotypes!” … Look, so many gay stereotypes!

Also, both Julie Andrews and Madonna are gay icons? As are Stevie Nicks and Tina Turner

“The Sound of Music” (his favourite) is popular in gay culture and the nuns are implied to be lesbians?

He mouths along when Rebecca sings “Let it go”, with Elsa being queer coded and the song being a queer anthem?

And when I googled “A Wrinkle in Time queer” first thing I got was a paper by the Syracuse University titled “Unusual Children: Queerishness and Strange Growth in A Wrinkle in Time and The Giver”, which discusses the queerness of the main character. You know, the “Am I supposed to be the little girl”-girl?

This are all the pop culture references I could recall off the top of my head, there may be things that are not queer coded, but … one or two, that is a coincidence. Three or more, that is a pattern. You cannot convince me that the writer’s “accidentally” queer coded Roy so extensively if he is supposed to be straight.

(Dear god, the only thing about Ted Lasso that always disappointed me was the lack of explicit queer characters – like, I’d bet with you that the majority of non-queer viewers didn’t get Keeley’s “dip the toe back in the lady pool” line or Colin’s “oh like Grindr?” – and if they now go and make the third season queer as fuck? Bless them!

And just like the next level trolling by Phil and Brett if they were actually spoiling the big love story for years, while everyone thought they were just joking?)

EDIT: Just looked up Gina Gershon, who Roy said he dated once—guess what, according to Wikipedia she’s considered a gay icon 🙃

[bitletsanddrabbles]

[Fic] The Glory, the Shame

This is what happens when I try to come up with something to write at 7:00 am on Veteran's Day - you get Thomas and Peter sitting on @alex51324 's Island of the Gays philosophizing.

Not certain I'm going to include this one in the Island Sandbox, since it is now about twelve hours after I started, I am tired, and not at all certain it hits the right notes. But it's a thing and I wrote it, so here. Can be read as pre-relationship or just buddies, as you so feel moved.

Needless to say it is beta free. Also free of guppies, goldfish, loches, koi...okay, I'm going stop now before someone hurls a salmon at my head. On to the story instead.

-

Thomas sat on the bluff outside of town, a cigarette dangling in his fingers, watching the seagulls. A stiff wind was blowing, making his cheeks sting, but at least it wasn’t raining. Most of the village had decamped to the pub, intent on reducing Tully’s whisky supply to dregs. Thomas had thought about joining them, but his heart wasn’t quite in it.

A crunching noise alerted him to the fact he was about to have company. He looked up, half expecting it to be the herd of cattle they let roam the island south of the village, but it turned out to be Peter Fitzroy.

“Mind if I join you?” the one armed man asked.

“Sure,” Thomas replied. “The ground’s none too soft, though.”

“Probably better that way. Easier to dust off after.” Peter lowered himself to the ground with his usual easy cheer. “I take it the pub was a bit crowded for you?”

“Yeah.” Thomas took a drag off his cigarette. “Don’t get me wrong, I could use a pint or two about now. Maybe three or four, but there wasn’t even standing room in there.”

“I know what you mean.” Peter pulled out his own cigarettes and worked one out of the case. Even though he was perfectly capable of lighting it himself, Thomas lite it for him. Less hassle that way. For a minute the two of them just sat and smoked. Finally Peter said, “I thought it was a lovely service.”

“Yeah,” Thomas agreed. It touched on all of the key points without being soppy or condescending. Father Tim did a good job.” That was one problem with people who hadn’t actually been in the war. They could easily make it sound like they had been, like they knew exactly what the soldiers had been through when it was very clear they didn’t. It tended to lead to lofty proclamations about bravery and sacrifice that stank like the mud of the Somme, or sneering dismissal of the misery that had lead to missing limbs and haunting nightmares. Admittedly, Thomas had as little patience for the nightmares as the next person, but mostly because they interrupted his sleep and he did not like being woken up, thank you very much. He understood, but…well. His nightmares never disturbed anyone except himself.

“What did you think of the suggestion that we build our own war memorial, like villages are doing on the mainland?”

Thomas frowned at that one. “I’m not entirely certain. I wouldn’t fight it, of course. But I don’t know that it would help me any.”

The other man gave him a curious look at that. “Isn’t there anyone who’s gone that you want remembered?”

“Maybe.” Thomas took a slow drag and thought for a second before blowing out a long stream of smoke. There was Lord Flintshire’s valet, and a couple of other servants who had visited Downton frequently, but they’d been friends, not lovers. He didn’t know if anyone here would even know them. “I’m the one who didn’t know anyone in London, remember? Yeah, there were blokes I had it off with now and again, but never more than a couple of times. The people I’d really care about, well. They weren’t our sort. Seems a bit pointless to put them on there.”

“Hm. I suppose.” The other man allowed. “Then again, there are those of us who would want brothers on there, so I don’t know that it would have to be just our sort.”

“I still don’t know if any of my brothers made it through,” Thomas admitted. “I might be the last one standing.” He tried not to look at his gloved hand, but his eyes flickered to it involuntarily as he stretched his fingers.

Thankfully, the other man didn’t seem to notice. “Is there anyone you could write to find out? Or do you not want to?”

Thomas shrugged. “My sister, perhaps, if she’d write back to me. I don’t know that I’d bother, though. They might as well all be dead, as much as we pay attention to each other. Again, I don’t see that there’s anything to be gained by knowing.”

“That’s fair, I suppose.” The two of them lapsed into silence for a bit. Again, it was Peter who broke the silence. “What do you suppose Kit’s doing?”

“He planned on spending the day working on play bills for the theatre’s next production,” Thomas replied. “If he finishes that, he’ll probably read or something like that, I’d imagine. I’ve told him not to feel poorly about it, that he was well out of it, but. Well. No one likes to feel like they didn’t do their bit.”

“If they were clever they would.” Peter frowned, the expression out of place on his normally cheerful face. “I keep trying to tell Davy Hall that no one’s looking down on him for not serving, but you can tell he doesn’t believe it.”

“Davy?” Thomas looked askance at the other man. “You’re joking.” The other man shook his head. Thomas blinked, trying to wrap his head around it. “The man had rheumatic fever as a boy. The doctors expect him to drop dead of a hear attack or have his kidneys give out any day now, and he’s bemoaning the fact that he failed his physical and they wouldn’t let him go get shot at because his health might give out before the Germans got him?”

Peter gave a rueful sort of smile and a one sided shrug. “Apparently his brothers both died, so he really is the last one standing. And he’s here, so it’s not as if the line is going to continue. I think he feels as if, had he gone, one of his brothers might have survived.”

Thomas was aware of that sort of thinking, but he couldn’t imagine feeling that way about anything. He shook his head. “I’m sorry, even if I was expected to die young, I can not imagine feeling that suicidal.”

The comment earned him a sideways look that couldn’t decide whether to be fond or exasperated. “No, I can’t imagine you could. You’re too determined to live.”

His cigarette half way to his lips, Thomas froze. He slowly turned to look at the other man, gauging whether that comment had meant what he thought it did. When Peter lifted his eyebrows and shot a look at Thomas’s glove, that was a pretty clear answer. “Figured it out, have you?” Thomas replied, smiling tightly, trying to make a joke of it. He supposed if the other man was going to get him kicked off of the island, he’d have done it by now, and he didn’t seem like the sort for blackmail.

“Yeah.” Peter turned and crushed out his cigarette. “Several of us have. Me, Tully, Jessop, Rouse.”

“Dr R knows?” Thomas cringed. Oh, that couldn’t be good.

“He does.” The other man gave him a wan smile. “He doesn’t blame you, though. None of us do. If you get right down to it, you were the clever one, getting out of there rather than waiting for the Huns to drop a shell on your head.” He nodded to the glove and added, “Not to mention you could easily have died of infection. Difficult to call someone a coward when they’re doing something they know full well could kill them.”

“I wasn’t really thinking about that at the time,” Thomas admitted. It probably wasn’t the wisest thing he could do, but if Peter didn’t think poorly of him already, he doubted the truth would change that too much. “I just, I’d had it. I’d signed up to help save them that could be saved, not to die for a country that would just as soon kill me themselves. Or lock me away for two years and then let someone beat me to death when I got out, which is close enough.” He crushed out his own cigarette, then, after a moment’s thought, went to get another.

Peter shrugged. “You’re not wrong. And I still don’t blame you.” His eyebrows knit together and he asked, curiously, “Although, if I might ask, how did you manage it? It’s a difficult shot to manage yourself.”

“I didn’t manage it myself.” Thomas tucked his lighter away and blew smoke into the air. He would never understand how some people managed not to smoke. What did they do for their nerves? “I took myself out to a nice, quiet corner of the trench, lit m’self a cigarette, and then held my hand up over the wall. A German sniper took care of the rest for me.”

Oddly, that garnered a smile from the other man. “Well, that was nice of him. Did you send him a thank you note?”

“No,” Thomas scoffed, shaking his head. “I wasn’t exactly in any condition for it. Too much morphine. Who knows? By the time I was thinking clearly again, he was probably dead anyway.”

“Probably.”

They were quiet again, for a stretch. This time Thomas broke it. “How long have you known?”

“Several months now. We put it together about the time Gordon ran off.”

“Blimey.” Thomas blinked at that. “And it took this long for any of you to say something?”

Peter shrugged. “It didn’t seem important, really. After all, who decided it was cowardice? And who decided that cowardice was something to die over? A bunch of men who never left England, except on holiday? The men who wished they had the guts to do something like that?” He looked down at his own shoulder. “I may not have invited a German sniper to have a shot at me, but I wasn’t exactly crying when they told me I couldn’t carry a stretcher anymore.”

“I should think not.”

“We did our bit. Then we went home. It’s what we said we’d do.”

“Too right.”

“We’re just lucky we made it.” Peter gave a salute to the clouds. “To the Glorious Dead.”

“And the Inglorious Living,” Thomas added, giving his own salute.

The other man leaned in, resting the stump of his shoulder against Thomas’s. “Glorious or not, I’m just as glad to have you hear instead of lying under poppies in France.”

“Thanks.” Thomas smiled and looped an arm around the other mans’ back to help them both stabilise. “I could say the same.”

[michidrawsathing]

What are your favorite things about Prussia in canon?

Do you have any favorite headcanons about him?

Thank you, Anon, for the ask! My favorite things about Prussia in canon:

I love that even though this man talks himself up to be a huge player/popular guy. He's actually quite the loner. He doesn't really have many friends, except for France and Spain which he has gone to war with plenty of times. The man tends to make more enemies than he does friends.

I also like that while he is a menace he tends to contradict himself quite frequently. He has brash behaviors, he is quite sensitive, even keeping a diary (albeit of himself) since childhood. While it seems like he has a lack of manners/is uncleanly, he actually keeps up with himself as well as "has an anal retentive streak" (as said by Austria) about his clothes (and pretty much himself) being spick and span.

Also, this man is my highest kin, therefore, of course I have headcanons about him!

My headcanons for Prussia:

In my eyes Prussia is gay. Not bi, not pan, not any other sexuality, GAY. There are a few reasons for this, if you want to know, send another ask :3 However, due to his religious origin (aka him previously being the Teutonic Knights) I headcanon him as strictly monogamous.

Since Prussia is a good, faithful Catholic man (and to be a Teutonic Knight he had to swear a vow of chastity) he is a virgin. He's not some playboy/womanizer like everyone pegs him to be.

I also headcanon this man has a big oral fixation, he definitely is the type to smoke.

I believe, he is a huge romantic, in a modern AU I feel he would aspire to be a romance novelist. (Especially because he love to write.)

I believe he is also very expressive and empathetic to those he's close to. He's a huge cryer, though he would kill you if you caught sight of it on accident.

While he is a beer connoisseur, I believe he likes other types of alcohol such as wine and hard spirits.

I also believe he has an extensive vocabulary, however, he only showcases it to those he's closest to.

Thank you, once again, for the ask! I hope you enjoyed these headcanons (and the art) :3 Until next time~

For slightly NSFW headcanons, click keep reading

The more NSFW headcanons:

This man definitely takes pride in marking you everywhere. No spot will be untouched, I promise you.

Is a switch, however, he only bottoms for specific people. (cough cough Austria cough cough.)

Loves speaking German in the bedroom to you, as well as calling you German terms of endearment. (Examples: "liebe" which means "love", "Maus" which means "Mouse", "Schatz" which means "Darling". My favorite term is "Mein Ein und Alles" which means "My one and all" long terms for "My everything."

Loves being called his human name in the bedroom instead of sexy names like "master", "daddy", "sir", etc.

He loves people he can pick up, no matter the size, he just wants to carry you and throw you on the bed (that's why he lifts, ladies and gents).

I admit, he is probably more vanilla in terms of his interests (mans as stated before is a virgin) but once he's comfortable he's a huge experimentalist.

That's all I have! Thank you so so so so much again for the ask if you read down this far! See you all next ask!

[g1amours]

hello! i'm 25, in the eastern timezone, and go by she / her pronouns. i am looking for someone 21+ to write over discord with! it’d be preferable if we were in similar timezones, or if you were active at the same times as me! i am most active from 2pm-11pm, my time. if we’ve written in the past or things never kicked off and you see something you’re interested in in this post, please reach back out! i’m always down for rekindling old connections. i’m a fan of angst - heavy plots. i am okay with smut and fluff, but i get bored if it is all fluff and no angst! do not interact if you are not going to contribute to the plotting process. i want someone who is going to actively participate in the plot and be excited about our ship(s). that being said, i’m also looking for someone that can reply frequently. real life happens and i’m a victim of that as well, but right now i’m looking for a partner that can do frequent replies and has time for rapid-fire replies at times too! because of this, i'm looking for shorter 1-2 paragraph replies. love including text threads too! all of that being said, if this sounds like we'd be a good match, go ahead and click the read more button for wanted plots! <3 all of the below plots are listed with f/m and m/m in mind, unless stated otherwise. if you're interested, like this post and i'll reach out or you can shoot me a message!

but daddy, i love him!

a plot where muse a is a celebrity (we could decide what kind) known for their awful habits. drugs, alcohol, sleeping around. cue muse b coming in like i can fix him (no really i can). muse b could be a celebrity, or an assistant, or someone working with muse a. bonus: muse b is a normal person who loves this celebrity and they happen to meet. extra bonus: a wrong number plot with this one.

i love you (it's ruining my life)

this one is specifically made with m/m in mind. muse a and muse b play on either the same or opposing hockey teams. they're both stars, and oh god do they hate each other. like really, truly hate each other. different teams can be rivals, whereas the same team can be always competing for the top spot. maybe muse a is given captain over muse b, maybe muse b refuses to give muse a a pass that could win the game. complete enemies to lovers. bonus: hockey is a very straight sport and coming out could jeopardize their careers. for this, i'm looking for one of the muses to be more hot-headed, aggressive, and more of a temper while the other is a little more level-headed. bonus points if one doesn't even realize he's gay. bonus bonus if it's the more hot-headed, temperamental one.

come back... be here

another sports based one. obsessed with hockey tropes but love basketball too. muse a is an up and coming athlete and is dating muse b. they've been dating since high school, and when muse a hits their big break and is finally drafted onto a big team, he becomes a celebrity. angst from muse a having to constantly be on the move, always be busy, and from having to leave muse b behind. it's a huge hit to their relationship. muse b can't leave because they're passionate about their career and they're established in their city. they're happy from muse a's success, but at what cost? possible tropes could include: cheating, lovers to exes to ?, tabloid scandals, accidental pregnancy, etc.

your wife waters flowers, i wanna kill her

credit to this person for this plot idea inspo! a plot where muse a and muse b are dating in high school for years but muse a gets into their dream college across the country. it was never part of the plan, muse a was supposed to stay local while muse b was supposed to take over the family business that they're oh so passionate about. muse a eventually breaks it to muse b and they try to make it work, but muse a could tell how muse b wasn't happy with long distance and they were starting to shrivel, their relationship deteriorating. knowing that muse b would never admit it and let muse a go, muse a decides to make up a lie and say that they lost feelings. maybe muse a even says they cheated. they break up. flash forward, muse a graduates and moves back to their hometown and finds muse b engaged to muse a's former best friend. bonus: wait... how old is that (four-year-old) kid holding your hand?

i can fix him (no really, i can)

double celebrity plot, muse a is america's sweetheart and is loved by all, while muse b is the opposite. muse a and muse b get connected, and while muse a wants to fix muse a, their reputation is taking a hit. scandals, tabloids, fans, muse a's awful decisions. is it worth it?

i just wanna stay in that lavender haze

wrong number plot. muse a accidentally texts muse b who is a famous celebrity. they text for a while and slowly fall for each other. will small town muse a ever be able to adapt to an international sensation muse b? what happens once reality comes crashing in like a tidal wave and they can't ignore the outside world from invading?

look at this idiotic fool that you made me

muse a is a famous musician and muse b is their partner who has been there since before muse a became famous, supporting them through their dreams and goals. muse b goes between travelling with muse a and spending time in their hometown to get away from the spotlight. it's a normal weekend of muse a's shows, who has been increasingly getting involved in more famous crowds, when muse b wakes up and sees pictures of muse a leaving the bar with someone. muse a admits to cheating and muse b ends the relationship. but no matter how hard muse b tries, they keep going back, and muse a keeps spiraling. it turns into a toxic, cheating, fucked up relationship and muse b is torn between helping them get better and finally going towards turkey. after all, this isn't the muse a they knew and loved. can't they get back to being that person? bonus if m/f: accidental pregnancy. extra extra extra bonus for this.

if i'm dead to you why are you at the wake?

muse a and muse b are married and find themselves in an accidental pregnancy situation. they're both excited, their relationship is stable, and they decide it's a good time. except when muse a gives birth (this could also be adoption if m/m), their relationship struggles. they're fighting all the time, they can't get along, they haven't been physical in months, they have different parenting styles. maybe there's even cheating on one or both sides. muse a maybe is struggling with postpartum depression or has in the past and is extremely overprotective and bossy, maybe muse b isn't adjusting the best to being a parent.