#Even if it was a way of showing her depression

[cannot-catch-a-god-damn-break]

Hair holds memories

In season 1 Jinx wanted to remember everything: Vi, Vander, Mylo, Claggor, Powder

and her hair could hold those memories for her, even if her mind would forget

In season 2, after everything happened, after Silco, Isha, losing Vander again. She couldn’t do it any more. She wanted to forget. So she cut her hair but it didn’t work, the memories didn’t go away so she cut it shorter, and shorter till there almost nothing left to cut. But the memories didn’t go away

and then she died. And she found her escape from the past then, there, in death

[rememberwren]

Dichotomy of Thought || 11

Past and further chapters here.

Simon and Johnny make up.

|| Chapter warnings: Anal fingering, anal sex, baby-trapping, medication tampering, medication control.

-

Your boyfriend manages your medications, a one-man pharmacy. 

Every morning the pills are waiting for you on the table in the foyer beside where you deposit your keys in the evening. There are two of them. 

The first is oblong, tan. Your boyfriend hoards and hides the bottle, but you’d fished the information pamphlet that came from the pharmacy out of the trash, and you know everything there is to know about it from that page jam-packed with text. Sertraline, 50mg. Otherwise known as Zoloft. Just swallowing the tasteless pill makes you remember the even darker days than the ones you’re living now, the ones that had led you to that waiting room with your boyfriend in the seat beside you waiting for a doctor to see you. How do I know if I’m depressed, you had asked the doctor, bold as anything even with your boyfriend’s hand on your knee, or if my life just isn’t worth living? 

You’d learned. By God, you’d learned. 

The other pill is your birth control. Round, sometimes blue, sometimes white, depending on where you are in your cycle. Today it is white and—

It looks—different. 

He wouldn’t, you think to yourself, thumb nudging at the pill in your palm, like seeing it from a different angle might jog your memory of it. He wouldn’t do that. A kid is the last thing he wants. He wouldn’t sacrifice his own freedom just to keep you trapped underneath his thumb. 

Except—wouldn’t he? 

“Hurry it up,” he says, yawning, like you kept him up late last night. “I want to go back to bed.” 

You try to take a picture of the pill in your mind before you drop it onto your tongue, taking a swig from your water tumbler, but your brain feels so scrambled that you forget it right away. You can’t even remember the color—had it truly been white, or had it been the pale sky blue of  robin’s egg?

It goes down like a lump of chalk. He makes you show him your empty mouth before he’s satisfied that you aren’t cheeking the pills, and then he kisses you and tells you to have a good day at work, honey. 

-

“Rooster wants you in his office,” Jackie says under her breath, helping you hurriedly clear one of your tables. You’re slow with the splint on your smallest finger, the throb of pain lancing all the way up your wrist each time you use the damaged hand. Jackie has been an angel in khakis picking up your slack. 

You wish that you had one of the pills that they’d given you in the emergency department. It hadn’t taken away all of the pain, but it’d made your head feel light and floaty and like you could care less if all your fingers were broken. Or maybe you wanted one of Johnny’s pills—the ones that put him in a peaceful sleep. You haven’t had such a thing in so long that you can’t remember when, even your moments of relaxation tainted until ‘rest’ is just waiting for the next act of violence. 

“What does he want?” you ask. 

“Probably to tell you about the raise,” she says. She rolls her eyes and twirls a fingers, mouth set in a grim smile of comradery. “Fifty cents. Writing home about it as we speak. Or maybe he wants to grill you about who keeps stealing from the registers—like we all don’t know it’s Ruth.” 

Fifty cents. You can’t even turn up your nose at it. Every penny is one that brings you closer to that apartment across town. With a promise that you’ll return as quickly as you can, you step off the floor (avoiding making eye contact with any customers who would happily sideway you for refills or to complain) and into the back of the house. It’s quiet back here, cooler. Rapping your knuckles against Rooster’s door, you wait. 

There’s no response, and no sign of him in the hallway. Some of the line cooks are coming in, filtering toward the break room to start their shift. You feel their eyes on you as you stand impotently outside the door. One of them says something to the other, and there is laughter, too loud and boisterous for the enclosed space. Your heart has begun to pound, sweat breaking out at the nape of your neck. 

“Hey,” one of them says to you. 

“Hi,” you mutter, forcing a smile, unable to make eye contact. 

Still there is no sign of Rooster from either end of the hallway—never would you have considered the short man your savior. Heart racing, you crack the door open and see that the office is empty. You slip inside, shutting the door safely behind you. 

The room is as self-important as you might imagine: a desk that seems too large for the space, filing cabinets in the corner. There’s a corkboard pockmarked with holes after years of use, and you drift over to it, too anxious to take a seat in the chair on the other side of Rooster’s desk. A calendar is posted there, Rooster’s neat handwriting here and there. 

Something catches your eye: LOCKER CLEANOUT marked for two weeks from now. 

It seemed like the last locker cleanout had just happened. You had only collected five hundred dollars back then, but it was far too much to want to explain to Rooster, and you had nowhere else to stash it that was safe. In the end, it had sat in an envelope under the driver’s seat of your car while Rooster took the week and went through each of the lockers to ensure compliance with the restaurant’s rules (all because someone used to have a penchant for leaving snack cakes in their locker leading to a bad case of ants that almost led to the restaurant being shut down). It had been the longest week of your life, like driving around with a live bomb underneath the front seat. 

Now you have nearly two thousand dollars. Where the hell were you going to put it? 

The door opens. Rooster looks at you suspiciously, eyes flickering between you and the calendar. 

“Next time, wait outside,” he says, stepping in and shutting the door behind him. It makes your skin crawl to be alone with him, even if he’s never done anything slimier than asking you to pull a double shift. You know the darkness that lies inside men. All men. 

“Sorry,” you mutter.

“Don’t be sorry,” he says, taking his seat in a squeaky rolling chair behind the desk. His smile is a dismal, strained thing, like interacting with you is just as painful for him as it is for you. “Next time, just wait.”  

-

Johnny and Simon spend the day in bed. 

Johnny’s knee is propped up on a pillow, red and swollen. Simon lets his fingers hover over it, gentle, feeling the warmth of Johnny’s skin. Johnny winces, like even the brush of air against his knee hurts. 

“It looks infected,” says Simon. 

“It’s not.” It can’t be. Johnny can’t handle that—can’t handle the idea of having to go through the surgery on his knee again, the recovery, the way recovery is just synonymous with pain. No, it isn’t infected. “Just looks like that because he hit it.” 

Simon leans down and brushes his mouth against Johnny’s thigh. It’s meant to be sweet but—well. It’s the closest his mouth has been to Johnny’s cock in more than six months, and just the sight of it has Johnny’s heart skipping a beat and picking up again in double-time, his face growing flush. Not privy to Johnny’s thoughts, all Simon does is press a chaste kiss to the skin a few inches above where Johnny’s swelling starts—nevermind what else might be swelling now, too. 

The two of them lay entwined together, Simon curling up around him. He plants a hand on Johnny’s clothed chest, right over his heart, like he’s trying to remind himself that Johnny’s here. That Johnny’s alive. The look in his eyes is far away, mouth drawn down into a tight frown. All at once, Johnny’s downright sick of it—sick of them not having anything to smile about. Sick of fighting. 

Johnny takes Simon’s hand, laces their fingers, and guides it down. Down over his slim, firm belly, watching from the corner of his eye as Simon’s brows climb up his forehead. Down until their hands cup his half-hard cock. Simon’s hand shifts straight away, fingers curling around the solid length, thumb stroking up the side, the gentle rasp of his calloused fingerpad loud against the cotton of Johnny’s boxers. 

“You’re hurt,” Simon reminds him. 

“Don’t care.” 

“I do.” 

“We don’t have to fuck. I just—” he doesn’t know how to explain, how badly he needs to feel something good. How badly he needs to know that his connection with Simon isn’t ruined. How badly he needs to see that they’re still lovers, that Simon isn’t just his live-in caretaker. How badly Johnny needs to feel like a human being—like a grown man. He finishes, a little lamely: “I just need it.” 

Simon’s grip goes firm. Johnny’s eyes shut, mouth falling open at the sensation. He hasn’t even touched himself like this in weeks, and while he hadn’t necessarily been keeping track, his cock clearly has been. Simon seems content to go on like this, mapping the shape of Johnny’s cock through his boxers, thumbing over the head until a wet sticky spot appears in the cotton fabric, his hand sometimes drifting down to cradle the warm heft of Johnny’s balls. 

Johnny, usually impatient, contents himself with this torture. Let Simon tease him all day, if he’d like, until Johnny is liable to go off at the whisper of a touch. The thought has his cock jerking toward the warmth of Simon’s palm, and Johnny groans when his grip tightens. 

“Fucking pretty, aren’t you?” Simon mutters, his eyes on Johnny’s face.

Johnny snorts. He tosses his arm over his eyes, but beneath his arm, he’s grinning. “Shuddup.” 

Simon clicks his tongue. “Be good, Johnny. Let me look at you.” 

Johnny moves his arm and gives his grin room to breathe. His head feels light and airy as Simon sits up and helps him work his boxers down his thighs just far enough to draw his cock out. The first touch of skin on skin has him hissing a breath in through his teeth. Fuck, it’s good. Just as good as it always was—maybe even better, because he needs it so bad. 

“Want you inside me,” Johnny says on a whim, feeling the truth of it in his chest. He doesn’t just want it—he needs it. 

Simon leans down and kisses him, just a little too hard to be mistaken as anything but desperate. How long has it been for him, Johnny wonders. He spends every waking moment with Johnny except his perfunctory showers. Does he indulge then, between soaping and rinsing off, holding his breath to hide his sounds while he strips his cock with one slick hand? 

It takes some maneuvering to get Johnny on his side, knee nicely cushioned. He can’t reach back and touch Simon, can’t grip his hip and pull him in closer, and it’s just another reason to miss his arm. Because there are a hundred thousand touches Simon deserves that Johnny can’t give him anymore. 

They’re lucky for the shelf life of the lube. It warms Simon’s fingers as he works them past Johnny’s rim. He takes his time, hands shaking where they touch him. 

“Need it bad, huh?” Johnny wonders. 

Simon snorts but doesn’t deny it. Just curls his fingers searching for that tender spot inside Johnny’s ass that makes him grit his teeth. His cock drools onto the bedspread, red and throbbing with his heartbeat. By the time Simon slips inside him, chest to Johnny’s back, Johnny feels liable to go off at a moment’s notice. 

For all the time they haven’t fucked, Simon remembers everything: the way to touch Johnny,wrapping a strong arm around his chest to make up for the one Johnny lacks, fingers playing with the whorls of Johnny’s chest hair or teasing one of his nipples; the way to angle his hips to nail Johnny’s prostate. 

“Quit,” Johnny groans, shifting until the stimulation isn’t so good, so dead-on. His cock aches, balls heavy and tight. “I don’t want to cum yet. Don’t want this to be over.” 

“Can’t miss Johnny; dick’s too big.” 

Johnny guffaws. The sound nearly startles him—when was the last time he fucking laughed? With you in the park—but he doesn’t need to be thinking about you now, not you with your small, soft hands and the curve of your mouth…

“Fuck—touch my cock, please touch my cock—“ Johnny whines, body trembling. He’s right there, right fucking there, too close to go back now, fuck it all, he wants to cum. Simon’s strong fingers curl around his cock and strip it firmly, and the pleasure inside him bubbles up and over, left too long to simmer. He nearly headbutts Simon in the face, his body shaking and jerking and cum splatters against his belly and the bedspread and down over Simon’s fingers. 

“Just like that—so good, Johnny,” Simon murmurs. His pale hand grips at Johnny’s sharp hipbone, cum smearing against Johnny’s skin. “My turn.” 

Afterwards, Simon gently helps him undress and goes to get them both fresh clothes. Johnny’s knee throbs freshly just from his muscles tensing, but he barely feels it. For the first time since his accident, he thinks that maybe things will be okay. He has no arm—but so what? There are many with a lot less. He’s John fucking MacTavish. He can do this.

Simon has gone still at their closet, holding something in his hands. Johnny leans up on his elbows. 

“What is it?” he asks. “Did you find my lighter?”

Simon holds up with no preamble a skull-embossed balaclava. It’s worn, the fabric gone gray at its most threadbare spots, but the image imprinted on the front hasn’t faded.

“Blast from the past,” Johnny says, throat uncomfortably tight with an emotion he can’t name. “Thought you threw those out.” 

“Thought so too.” He doesn’t look eager to throw this one out though, his fingers tracing over the teeth, like he’s tracing the lipless mouth of a lover. 

“You miss it,” Johnny says, the glow of their sex fading rapidly. Of course Simon misses it. The military had been his entire life—until Johnny’s accident. Until Simon had discharged with him, to take care of him. Johnny hadn’t just blown apart his own life by going down in the helo in Kazakhstan, he had blown apart Simon’s life too. 

“No,” Simon says simply. “It’s not that.” 

Johnny frowns. “What is it, then?” 

“The night of the poker party—I was Ghost again. It was the only way I could…compartmentalize. Stomach it. I’d forgotten.” 

“Forgotten?”

Simon glances toward him. “Forgotten how useful Ghost could be.” Reaching up, Simon slips the balaclava over his head, adjusting it on instinct until it rests just right against the bridge of his nose. His hair is getting long, little blond strands visible, curling at the ends. 

“Now I want to fuck you again,” says Johnny, just to fill the air between them, and because sex used to be such an easy way to fill it. 

Simon doesn’t smile. 

“Johnny.”

“I was just teasin’—“

“Not that,” Simon says. Even his manner of speaking seems different, words clipped, tone short and no-nonsense. “What if I wanted to go visit our neighbor?”

The question lingers in the silence between them. Johnny swallows, the sound of his throat an audible click in the tense air. 

“You,” Johnny wonders, when he can speak again, “or Ghost?” 

Beneath the balaclava, Ghost smiles. 

[space-blue]

A true off my chest bit about Jinx

It's a little critical of the show, but not hate posting. Just my feelings regarding the handling of Jinx.

I just feel like Jinx's death shows the writers hand in a bad way.

To me act 1 sucks because it felt the most rushed and like it needed to pad and set some things in motions, and most importantly they needed to delay Jinx's suicidality.

By all accounts Jinx should have broken after Silco's death. She should have buried him in the Pilt, walked home, set the place on fire and killed herself.

Instead she needs to be delayed, and she needs to have a reason to be in Stillwater with a lot of Zaunites, so that Singed can do his hiring bid demo with Warwick and score a new employer in Embessa.

It's convoluted, but basically Jinx needs two things :

temporary sanity

a reason to completely blow up later on

And they do both via Isha, the worst character in the whole show as far as I'm concerned.

She's introduced in a bad music video that does a weird job of introducing "sane Jinx". Then she seems to immediately be part of the team, and her attachment to Jinx, with zero set up, made it super out of left field.

It was blatant that she was being set up as a mini Powder to calm Jinx down, and when she blows herself up it's not gratifying if you know she's just a crank/lever being used to flip Jinx into dark and depressed mode.

IMO this could have been handled better (and I'd change a lot of the Zaun situation in Act 1 alongside), but then could have still led to Jinx being "saved" by Ekko.

Instead, I feel like the writers, maybe pressed for time, maybe unwilling to keep the "loose canon" as she was in the new state of the world, chose to kill her off.

Her death is Vi's fault, and I can't help but feel it's manufactured.

I feel like the writers broke Jinx an extra time just to tilt her over the edge and have that emotional scene with Ekko, but then couldn't see how to "excuse her".

Like what she's done is too fucked up, too dark (even if Cait served the city to Noxus on a silver platter, gased zaun, and faced no consequences lol) and she can't be made to move on from the horrors of it all.

It feels like they didn't have the time or will to break the cycle for Jinx. But it feels bad. It feels like it was an "attempt at redemption" death.

WW was an arcane creature by then and they all fucked off with Viktor and Jayce. They could have chosen to keep him innactive. They could have had Vi going with Ekko and relying on him.

The one person who can truly believe in the good in her, because he's literally experienced it in another version of herself. The one guy who could tell her again and again that it's not HER, it's the way the world made things, and that this can change.

I don't see why shy away from that, even implied, especially after Ekko managed to pull her from the brink.

It feels like Jinx is a "too far gone" rabid dog better put down than left loose in their setting.

And I don't really vibe with that. I thought true redemption would be her living. Leading. Her and Ekko could work to better Zaun while Sevika safeguards their interests in the Council.

And Vi could have still cried over WW's body.

[carbonfiction]

Could you do some angst Logan x mutant!reader comfort. Like maybe she has a similar origin to Logan where she was tested on for her powers and escaped. She ends up at the mansion and that’s how her and Logan end up together.

I’ve been wanting to write this myself for a while but haven’t had time. I need to see some truama bonding and comfort for that man with someone who really understands what it’s like. I would give anything to be that person. 😭

Hi anon!! Im so sorry this has taken me so long to get to- despite some little changes on the request, and my unsureness on writing angst, i hope you enjoy this drabble!

One step at a time

Summary: sleep can be a fickle thing, a struggle more personal than most.. But it just so happens theres another person in the mansion that understands. Written with X1 logan in mind!

Warnings?: angst, mentions of nightmares and troubled sleep, self doubt, slight depression? Comfort and fluff at the end? Idk how to tag this really.. Words: 1.5k Masterlist

People were scared of things they didn’t understand, of people that didn’t fit in to a societal box. And being a mutant? Well, you became the scariest thing of all. An unknown, a secret unshared in a room full of people.

To some, that fear, that little nagging doubt about what you are, what you could do.. fuelled somthing else entirely. Not fear, not quite, more an evil kind of curiosity. A fixation to poke and prod, bend and snap, push the limits of their fear regardless of yours in the name of science. Regardless that you too, we’re a person, different now yes, but still born of the same matter once.

Careless to the person you were, only the thing you could become. And even then, if you weren’t useful.. you were useless. Another mistake in a pile of scraped idea's, a caged creature begging for a way out.

You never wanted it, never asked to sit in a room and wonder why. Why you, why this. There was never a good enough answer, never a reason, not really. Some People were just cruel, vile and nasty, out for their own gain.. to test the limits of humanity.

But then it begged the question, what was humanity? Because it wasn’t this. It wasn’t the sleepless nights afraid to close your eyes. The sanctity of sleep a luxury. Peace a rationed thing.

Therefore It had become normal to find you in the dead of night, curled up the couch in front of the fireplace; whilst everyone else slumbered. Sometimes a book in hand, other times just your thoughts. Embered flames burning bright and warm, the crackle of wood often the only sound. It was how your relationship with Logan had bloomed.

From wordless nods walking down corridors to conversations and nights shared infront of the fire; he had become pleasant company, a friend you regarded higher- one who understood better- than most. He'd seen the same horrors behind his eyes, the years a tiresome thing.

So it's here you sit, like always, in your spot on the couch peering between pages of a book and the old grandfather clock, waiting for Logan.

It was late and he'd usually show up around now, your meetings held in a trusted pact- an agreement that if sleep held pain, this is where you'd find one another. It was up to choice then, if you'd relocate to one of your room's; if you felt the embrace of the others arms would quiet the horror, just for a while.

Because while it's true that you both may no longer be broken here in the mansion.. you'd always be bruised bone deep.

"Hey" Logan murmers softly, breaking you from your thoughts as you crane your neck toward him. Hes stood tall in the doorway, clad in sweats and a white vest, two steaming mugs in hand as he pads closer, handing you one over the back of the couch. "Figured you'd want a drink, tried to make it how you like"

You nod, taking a tentative sip with a greatful smile. Your eyes fluttering shut a moment as you swallow, relishing the warmth. Logan had indeed made it the exact way he knew you loved, and it swells your heart; the fondness you feel for the action- for him. "'S perfect, thank you.."

"Was nothin.." he shrugs, sighing into his own cup, back hitting the couch besides you. the cushions are a soft embrace for his aching body, the days seeming longer. He'd confessed one night, that the winter had never helped his affliction. That the cold air made his adamantium bones ache in a way that seemed impossible to describe. The sting of his knuckles that bit sharper with each snikt of his claws.

You shift quietly, book page marked and now placed on the coffee table. Logan watches silently as you reach for the soft blanket that lays dormant on the back. Your fingers adjusting the fabric carefully, unfolding and draping it until it rests over his knees too.

Logan smiles, a look reserved for these nights- for you- in his eyes. Its a soft, greatful, little thing; Unreminicent of his usual gruff demeanor. he lifts a large arm bringing it to rest snug behind your shoulders, tugging you closer.

Theres a comfortable silence that follows then, sat side by side. Logan simply watches as you pick the book back up, resuming your page. A warm feeling in his chest that he hasn't felt for a while as your eyes flit across the words.

He still cant understand how anyone could- would- hurt you. Would even dare harm a delicate hair on your head. It boils a possessive type of anger inside of him, that people, the very same that had hurt him, had dared. That they had ruined your trust, made you into something of their design, just like him.

And Its then that Logan cant help how his mouth moves, how it burts the words before he can even think to stop them, make them sound less jumbled. "You uh.. didn't deserve it you know?.. What they did"

The words feel foreign on his tongue but they hold meaning- one that you can feel as you cast your gaze to him.

Theres a look in your eyes he cant quite read as you hum honestly. "Neither did you. you know that right?"

And Logan knows. Hell its deep down but he knows. Yet hearing the words still bring an ache to his chest. Its beyond hard for him to even think about- admit really- even after all this time. He hadn't deserved it and neither had you. But that was certain weather perceived or not.

"Im.. Tired, logan" you trail quietly, casting your book aside as your head falls to rest on his shoulder. "Just.. So tired of being tired."

A shattering feeling stabs at Logan's chest from your admission, a sigh falling against your hair. "I know you are. Hell so am i but.." he pauses, trying to find the correct sentiment.

"We- you- can do this"

You can't help the exhaled sound that slips from you, not a laugh, not not a breath either. "Logan-" you try to protest, try to shift back inside your non vulnerable shell ready to shut down, but he has you locked next to him, fingers coming to rest on your jaw.

"No, look at me, Cmon" he murmurs, cupping and turning your cheek gently until your gaze meet his. "like you told me that once. Its one step at a time alright?"

You recall saying it, remember the context, and yet the idea of saying it to yourself feels foreign- as foreign as the words blurted from logans tongue.

He'd had a nightmare that night, had woken with a hoarse scream and his claws embedded in the plush mattress; pillows ruined with feathers everywhere, soaked in sweat. You'd come barreling in from downstairs having heard his sounds of distress, knowing the situation.

But.. You hadn't laughed, despite him being so surrounded by pillow feathers that he's sure he looked like big bird. You hadn't been cruel or judgemental, pitty in your eyes. You'd just been.. Well, you. Kind and understanding, reassuring him that it was okay, that he was safe. To take a shower and you'd sort the rest. It was from then that the fondness he felt for you had bloomed to something a little more inside of him.

You nod gently, a small, barely there smile on your lips now as you repeat. The light of the fire a soft glow in your eyes, tone a fraction more hopeful. "One step at a time"

"Yeah, thats it sweetheart" he smiles gently, a proud look in his own eye's, before his throat clears. A bashful look taking over his features as he continues, thumb absentmindedly stroking over your cheekbone. A distraction to the honesty he was going to drop "Besides.. you got this knucklehead who'd really like to keep this.. Us.. up"

You swallow, breath stuttering as your cheeks heat."You.. You would?" you sound a little surprised, yet a little hopeful, and It makes Logan smile, hearing your heart pounding in your chest.

"Yeah sweetheart" he breathes, voice a low gravel as he anxiously nods, before rushing to add. "if- if thats something you'd want?"

"Yes!" you exclaim, so excitedly it makes logan chuckle, the deep rumble joining the crackling fire. "I, uh, i mean.. ofcourse i do Logan"

Logans fingers tilt your face higher, his forehead coming to rest on yours as your fingers trace over his scruff coated jaw. "Things are better with you.." you murmer, breath puffing over his lips. "Lighter. You get it, get me.. This.."

He hardly lets you finish before his lips are pressed to yours, breaking the miniscule gap between them. His kiss so uncharacteristically gentle, like he was afraid one taste and you'd break.

"Things are better with you too.." he says quietly, forehead on yours, a smile against your mouth as his nose rubs your cheek.

And so Its that night you both agree, while wrapped up in one another, that things are better together. Better with each others shoulder to lean on. And despite the darkness that would still linger sometimes, that's all that mattered. You and him. Him and you.

[badbtssmut]

11. Make me see stars | Kinktober

Your friends are tired of seeing you depressed after your break up with your ex, so they take you to a show by stripper Jimin— but he gives you more than a lapdance and that all right in front of your friends!

Contains: MC has sex in front of her besties, eating out, blowjob, her friends cheer her on and yell things, MC appears embarrassed at times, Mc says things like no and stop a few times, her friends call her a slut, ngl this is really dirty lol and made me feel someway, he cums in her, from behind, missionary, friends make comments

Music playlist: xxx, me so horny, good puss, body, kream, orange

—

“You guys can’t be serious.” You scoffed, seeing the large poster of this surprise show your friends brought you to. “A private stripper show, really? I’m going home.”

You didn't even want to think about your birthday, let alone celebrate it at a strip club!

“Come oooon, y/n! You didn’t even try it! At least give the show a chance…. it will be fun! Trust us, pleaaase. If you really hate it we'll leave right away, no questions asked, promise!” They all looked at you with a hopeful look on their face.

You sighed, glancing at your friends, they looked like they were silently pleading with you, and part of you understood that this was their silly way of helping you get over your shitty ex.

"Fine... Whatever, remember you promised, if I wanna go, we go.”

—

When they mentioned a private show, you didn’t think that you would be the center of attention. You were sitting on a chair decorated with balloons with a banner saying ‘bday girl’ with ribbons hanging down and confetti everywhere. The room was dimly lit with a reddish neon hue and hovering over you was the hottest man you ever laid eyes on, not breaking eye contact as he grinded his body against you— your friends were cheering around you.

“Touch him, come on, y/n, don’t be shy!” One of your friends, Areum, giggled.

Your hands slowly reached out and ran over his chest and toned abs, Jimin smirked as you did and continued to move his body sensually.

“What’d you think y/n isn’t he soooo hot?” Your friend Nara giggled.

You didn't respond to your friend’s question as you watched Jimin dance on you. Honestly, you were keen on touching him, but you weren’t sure if you should… Jimin had you hypnotized by his smooth moves, and when the song changed, he moved his hand towards you and held it, gesturing you to his zipper.

The music was low and heavy, the bass thumping underneath your feet. Your friends giggled and cheered as you unzipped his pants and Jimin pulled his pants down, revealing his boxers. Jimin danced for a few more minutes, he had done this type of shows countless of times, yet he felt something different with you.

The stripper didn’t want to end the night with just dancing. You were stunning and your outfit emphasized your body in all the right ways— he wanted to hear pretty moans slip from your lips, he needed to have your insides rocked by his big dick.

“I have a special present for the birthday girl, is that ok with everyone in the room tonight?"

Of course, your friends were totally into whatever Jimin had planned for you.

Jimin got down on his knees and he leaned in closer, pressing his tongue against the fabric of your panties, testing out the waters. At which you left out a soft moan— it came as a surprise to you but you didn’t hate it, matter of fact, you waited with anticipation, wanting to know how far he would take things…

“Come on y/n! Let the pretty boy see your puss!” Nara encouraged and your friends joined in.

You moved your panties to the side, and he started to lick you. You shifted on the chair, letting out a soft moan as his head moved up and down, his slender fingers soon joining.

“Ooohh you gotta see her titties tooooo, she got te best titties!” Areum stood behind you and grabbed the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head and exposing your chest.

Jimin looked up at you, nearly drooling at the sight of your bare wet pussy and your boobs that were threatening to spill out of your bra. “Yum, your friends are right, hot tits, very hot.” He said as he curved his fingers into you which made you squeal.

“Oh, that’s the spot? Here… or here? But how about here, hm?" Jimin smirked as you whimpered while his fingers showed no mercy, while his tongue flickered over your swollen clit.

You let out a soft whine, before your body trembled as you orgasmed at his touches, Jimin stopped with a content smile on his face as he stood, his fingers covered in your slick.

“Babe, you can’t leave him hanging, don’t you see how his cock is begging for relief?” Sana piped in.

“Yeah, look, if he gets even harder, his boxers will surely rip!” Nara pointed out.

You noticed it too, the bulge that stood out in his boxers. Your fingers trailed over the elastic band of the boxers and you pulled it down, letting his erection spring free.

Your friend clapped, cheers and laughter coming from them as they chanted:

“Suck that dick! Suck that dick! Whooooo!”

Your lips wrapped around his cock and you started to bob your head back and forth.

Jimin groaned, his fingers tangled through your hair, gently pushing your head down further in an attempt to try to get you to deep throat him. The man’s moans were barely louder than the music as you took him all in and continued to suck him off in a rhythmic tempo.

After a couple of minutes, your friends started to chant something else: “Fuck her, fuck her, fuck her! Fuck the birthday girl!”

Fuck, this was all so lewd and nasty, yet all of this made you so unbelievably horny.

Jimin was very eager to follow the crowd's demands and he promptly pulled his cock out. “Get on your knees sexy, look at your friends, show them how much of a good time you’re having.” And you did just that, turning to face your friends, your knees on the chair and your hands holding onto the chair's back, bracing yourself as you felt the head of his cock enter you.

“Such a big cock, oh shit, this feels illegal to watch, look at how she’s taking it all in!” Nara pointed and your friends watched.

“Ugh, stop…” You whined at them.

Jimin continued to push his full length into you, not stopping until every inch was in.

“Like that cock, y/n?” One of your friends teased.

“No.” You shook your head, not wanting to give them the satisfaction, and your lips tightly pressed against each other as you focused on taking him in.

“Oh really? Then why are you dripping wet?”

“Yeahhhh… and why does your pussy looks so eager to take in that huge dick, hm?”

“Shut up!” You pouted, your face feeling hot at their comments.

When Jimin was satisfied, he started to move his hips back and forth, his hands firmly held onto your hips as he thrusted into you to the beat of the music.

You let out a series of moans, your fingers gripped onto the chair harder, your friends stayed quiet for once as they admired the view. You closed your eyes and was unable to close your mouth as Jimin thrusted into you with steady strokes, his cock filling you up.

“Y/N, you are such a slut!” Areum laughed.

“She's not the slut, you're the one who's watching her getting fucked.” Sana pointed out and the group laughed.

You were in a haze, the sensations of him fucking you felt like a fever dream— he was so perfect, he knew just how to fuck you right. Everything faded to the background; the music, the chatter of your friends, the chair legs scrapping against the floor… all you could hear was the moist sounds of his cock and your pussy mixing together.

His fingers wrapped around the front of your throat and he pulled you back, your back pressed against his chest. “Getting tired, baby?” He whispered against your ear.

“Tired.” You only managed to reply. Your knees were burning and your legs felt sore.

Jimin hummed and he stopped, pulling his cock out. He turned you around and you sat back down on the chair, your back resting against it and facing him and your friends who were watching the two of you. You spread your legs when he leaned in and pressed his cock inside of you again.

“Oh, that's hot, look at how much she's dripping.” Nara giggled, pointing at the mess between your legs.

“Wow that cock must be so good, I’m jealous~” Areum cooed as she went ahead and unbuckled your bra, pulling it off.

“You guys talk too much, shut up.” You said through gritted teeth, feeling how Jimin was deliciously stretching you out once again before he started to thrust into you again.

You held onto his arms, your boobs bouncing as his hips met yours, two of your friends stood at your sides and spread your legs even further, just enough to border on the edge of it feeling uncomfortable.

Jimin rested his hands on your chest and cupped your breasts, his fingers spread over the surface and he lightly kneaded into them as he picked up the pace, his thrusts becoming more erratic, rougher.

You whimpered underneath him, feeling your orgasm nearing as he fucked you into the chair, it squeaking underneath you as he was pounding into your pussy, his cock relentlessly abusing your hole. The wetness dripped down your ass cheeks onto the chair, it was embarrassing how soaking wet you were for him, but you couldn’t help it— your pussy was only doing what it was supposed to do in response to the pleasure it was getting from his greedy dick.

“Make her cum, Make her cum!” Your friends chanted, encouraging him.

Jimin’s fingers dug into your boobs as he picked up the pace, a mere second in between his thrusts as he was starting to ram into you. Jimin was feeling it too, his tongue hanging over his bottom lip as he shut his eyes, you gasped and moaned, throwing your head back as you curled your toes.

He was fucking the life out of you.

“A… ah!” You let out a scream, your chest moved up and down rapidly as a hot wave crashed through your lower body, your body twitched and shook as your muscles tightened and relaxed again and again, you could see black spots as you came so hard that you thought you would pass out.

Fuck…

“Yes! Yes! Fill her up, fill her up!” They chanted.

Jimin rode your waves of orgasm, slowing down his thrusts to a lazy pace, your juices coating his shaft as he pushed in and out of your vibrations, and as your pussy clamped down hard on his cock, he was finally milked dry, his cum leaking into you and coating your insides with his load.

“WHOO! Yeah!” Your friends laughed and clapped.

Maybe tonight wasn’t that bad of an idea afterall.

[pinkiemachine]

What are some timsteph headcanons you have? And what couples or ships u like outside of dc remind u of them?

That she’s really clingy and her love language is physical touch. Like, she’s always coming to him wanting a hug, or to hold his arm, or snuggle up next to him, just burry her face in his hoodie… but she can be a bit oblivious about the fact that she can be a biiiiit… intrusive at times. If Tim is busy with something, she might not recognise it and just come on in, trying to talk to him, and then Tim gets frustrated that she’s not reading the room, and has to remind her that sometimes he has things to do and can’t get distracted. She usually makes up for it by doing something nice for him later when he has more free time.

Tim can be a bit oblivious about her emotions sometimes, so every now and then he makes an oopsie in the form of accidentally neglecting her emotional needs—usually by working on a case too long and not realising she needs time with him—and then has to go make up for it. His love language is personal time, and he just enjoys being in the same room as Steph. They don’t even have to be doing anything, just cuddling on the couch is enough. Or sitting in the Batcave on their phones. Talking late into the night.

She definitely loves the fact that her bf is loaded with cash and Tim loves to spoil her. Not in overly fancy dinners to french restaurants or Louis Vuittons, but in trips to places she’s never been before, going on hikes through the Italian countryside, bungie jumping in New Zealand, or boating on the Nile.

They both geek out, but over different things and in slightly different ways, and they happily listen to the other ramble on about the thing they’re excited about currently. For Tim it’s usually some random information rabbit hole he’s stumbled down—like the history of Roman gladiator food, or medieval cutlery. For Steph it can be literally anything. A cute dog she found that she wants to adopt, why do superheroes wear the undies on the outside of their uniforms? Damascus steel forging, a new TikTok trend, a new tv show she’s just gotten into, interior home renovation and DIY stuff, knitting… waffles…

Tim struggles with depression. It’s not surprising. A study done once showed that intelligent people are often more likely to be depressed (perhaps there’s something to being “blissfully ignorant”) but in Tim’s case, there’s also the trauma of having to go through everything he’s gone through as a vigilante. Because of his depression, it can make it difficult to find the will to want to hang out with people, or go do things outside of work. That’s where Steph comes in. She’s hurt too, but remains stubbornly optimistic. She’s able to talk with Tim about things they can’t talk about with anyone else, and she helps him get out and do things, talk to people, see the sun every once in a while. She is his sunshine. Literally. She makes him happy. And for Steph, she can sometimes have a hard time living in reality. Because of her trauma, she tends to fall into escapism to cope. She can day dream for hours if left to her own devices, and often romanticises things or doesn’t take them seriously. That’s where Tim comes in. When she’s getting too carried away or not acknowledging a situation like she should, he brings her back down to ground level and helps her through it. Facing reality is easier with him, she’s found out. ❤️💜

[waiting-for-motivation]

inside out

summary: Carlos is there for his girlfriend when her darkest insecurities take ahold of her.

pairing: Carlos Sainz x Reader

warnings: insecurities, angst, fluff

words: 1129

a/n: thanks to tumblr for being my unpaid therapist, I guess <33

MASTERLIST REQUEST RULES

Having some time off feels relieving as well as overwhelming at the same time. Carlos fears not valuing his free time enough, although he does everything in his power to experience a lot. With his girlfriend, he visits museums, aquariums, exciting cities and breathtaking landscapes.

Other times, they share some quality time, cuddled up on the couch, watching a movie or cooking together. When Carlos is gaming, (Y/n) is always in the same room reading. They exist in silence, still savoring the shared moments with their partner.

Today is no different, relaxing after yesterdays hiking tour, Carlos plays a new game he had been yearning to have a look at. His girl sits next to him on the couch, so close their thighs touch, scrolling through social media. From time to time, she shares some memes, also calming him whenever the game is getting too rough.

“Car?“, (Y/n) breathes, discarding her phone on the side table. Not knowing if Carlos even heard her over the sound of his gaming, she throws a cautious glance towards him. His brown eyes are already on her, concerned about the serious tone. Carlos even places his controller aside.

“Do you think I‘m pretty?“, (Y/n) asks with an unsteady voice, avoiding her boyfriend's eyes. Her heart feels like it might break her rips apart, and her breathing keeps getting tougher. Right away, (Y/n) regrets expressing her insecure mind.

Subconsciously, she starts fumbling around with her fingers, pressing her nails into the palm of her hand. It might be a bad habit, but the pain is what distracts her from her depressing thoughts. What even works better is Carlos taking care of her. He grabs her hands, warm touch halting her nervous fiddling.

“Of course, mi corazón“, Carlos answers, almost at a loss of words. Her question caught him of guard. Watching (Y/n) shrink in front of him, her insecurities heavy on her shoulders cause him to feel rather guilty. Maybe he did not show her his appreciation enough. Maybe he tells her how much he adores her too seldom.

If (Y/n) could see herself through the eyes of Carlos, she would have no doubts about her appearance. The word perfection is not enough to describe the way Carlos perceives her. He might not be an artist nor a writer, but he would use only the brightest colors for her portrait and could write an entire trilogy about everything he loves about (Y/n).

“You are my gorgeous girl“, Carlos adds and places a hand on her cheek, forcing her eyes on him. Pressing her lips to a tight line, (Y/n) regrets exposing her thoughts at the sight of her concerned boyfriend. “Where is this coming from?“

“Forget about it“, (Y/n) says in a rush, already jumping to her feet and leaving Carlos alone on the couch. But she can't escape her boyfriend, who quickly follows her and wraps his strong arms around her from behind, lifting her up.

“I‘m going to show you how much I actually admire you“, Carlos announces as he throws (Y/n) onto the couch. Her screaming turns to soft giggles because of Carlos decorating her face in kisses. His lips wander from her forehead over the frown between her eyebrows to her nose and lead eventually to her neck. Over and over again, he whispers how much he loves her, how pretty she is.

“You are all I need, mi corazón, all I want. Without you, I feel like I can't breathe“, Carlos declares his deep-rooted love to his girlfriend, kissing a trail down her arms. What causes him to halt his fondling is a quiet sob leaving (Y/n)s throat. Quickly, she places both her hands on top of her mouth, but the tears streaming over her cheeks reveal enough.

“No, please don’t cry“, Carlos whimpers in shock, watching his girl sit up with a shaking body. Out of instinct, (Y/n) turns away from her boyfriend, not wanting him to see her so vulnerable, though Carlos won't simply accept that. He hugs her tightly to his chest. Her tears quickly dampen his shirt, but he couldn't care less at the moment. “Tell me what darkens your mind.“

“I feel like I will never be enough, not for anyone, not for you in particular. Comparing myself to the other girlfriends on the paddock, I realize how plain I must be. They are naturally so magnificent, know how to handle all this attention, and treat their partners perfectly. I will never be like that. I‘m not good enough“, (Y/n) manages to say between her sobs, now wearing her heart on the sleeve, revealing her worst thoughts.

“You are enough, mi corazón. Those other girls are nothing compared to you. I would not want you any other way because I see you as you are: wholeheartedly kind and breathtakingly beautiful. You are all I want and having you here with me makes me so happy“, Carlos tries to encourage his girlfriend, caressing her back and placing soft kisses on the top of her head. Bit by bit, (Y/n) seems to calm down, though she keeps her arms wrapped around her boyfriend.

“I just believe that neither my appearance nor my personality are what you deserve“, she whispers against his chest. Having heard enough, Carlos forces (Y/n) to face him, placing both his hands on her cheeks. Their eyes meet, both glinting with tears.

“Stop right there! If I have to say it over and over again, then I will: You are what I want. I love everything you might hate about yourself. I love seeing the brightness in your eyes whenever you see a dog. I love your passion for things you appreciate. I love the little scrunch on your face when you are reading. I love the way you hide behind me when a camera is near. I love you, (Y/n), and nothing you will do or say will ever change that because my affection is unconditional.“

At a loss for words, (Y/n) just stares at Carlos with wide eyes. This sweet monolog was the deepest profession of love she ever witnessed. Her heart felt like it was falling apart moments ago, but with every word that came over his lips, the pieces found shape again.

“Thank you“, she says with a rough voice, all that crying took a toll on her throat. After wiping all the tears from her face, Carlos leans down and captures her lips in a short yet tender kiss. His smile is bright, lightening her mood greatly.

“Don‘t worry, I will always be there when you are too deep in your own head, mi vida.“

[muffinsin]

Hey, it's platonic anon again, I hope you don't mind me asking, as I have been feeling a little bit insecure lately, if you do one with alcina + daughters separate reactions to a fem head maid reader slowly getting deeper in depression because she has a little pudge that she doesn't like, but it just makes he look like a teddybear, and the maids have been making fun of her recently, and then she stops showing up to work all together, staying in her room and only eating one meal a day?

-platonic anon

Awhh, this is hella adorable, absolutely! :) Imma have to remove Alci though, hunny, I don't write for her though might occaisonally include her in pieces when I feel like it

Also oops, this got way longer than I thought it would, so imma have to split it into 3 parts. This one’s Bela’s

Let's get into it! :)

Masterlists found at pinned; rip, my linking is busted

Bela

Being involved with the maidens by far more than her sisters, professionally so even, Bela notices when you don't show up for work immediately

And at first, she's willing to turn a blind eye to it, thinking that maybe you're simply too tired too work, or in need of a vacation

She does admit, there isn't all that much of that at the castle

But, she likes you

And as such, she's willing to ignore that you aren't working as you should be

That is, for the first two days, at least

She is sure: you know to come to her when in need of a break

It's not like she won't grant you one, so long as it isn't harvesting season or the beginning of winter and all staff members are needed

But it isn't, and your disappearance starts to feel a little...odd

Now, she wouldn't describe herself as someone caring for the maids, head maiden or not

But, she likes you

A kind, loving, hard working woman

Someone she finds: she enjoys spending her time with, and someone she has enjoyed getting to know

Not showing up to work is so...unusual for you. So out of character

And as such, despite what she's sure her sisters would say, she seeks you out

Knocking on the door to your room- despite not having to knock at pretty much any door in the castle due to her status- she waits patiently until you open the door for her

What she takes in has her gasp in surprise and take a step back momentarily

Your room is warm, yes, but the air has adapted a strange scent that has her scrunch up her nose. She never thought she’d want to open a window

You’re curled in bed, underneath the blankets, but she still sees the thick clothing covering you

Briefly, she worries this might be too warm for a little human, but drops the thought again

- temperature wise, you seem well and healthy enough

She takes a step closer again, her golden eyes finding yours at last

You seem…off

Yet now that she stands in front of you, she seems at a loss for words, unsure what to say

It’s not like she’s used to cheering up anyone but her sisters

Glancing to the side, she sees multiple plates by your nightstand

One for each day you spent in your room

Is that all you’ve eaten?

In her mind, she recalls: humans are supposed to eat three days a meal. Especially those hard at work

You don’t speak, only stare at her, as if too tired and drained to do much

For once, she doesn’t mind the lack of respectful bows and what not

For once, she supposes she can let this be a casual, friendly conversation

Still unsure of what to say, she sits by your bed, her flies buzzing anxiously

You look up for a moment, your eyes trailing across her face, down her neck and to her exposed collarbone, her chest and slim hips and waist

You can’t help but fiddle with the blankets, can’t help but compare her build to yours

Normally, you don’t care

But the words from the maidens, the mockery aimed at you, hurt recently

You almost wish you could be like Bela, so confident, so strong, so strikingly beaufiful

You only ever want to be that, you think

“Did…something happen?”, she asks eventually, frowning slightly, as if unsure about her words

She really isn’t sure about this, or how to go about this, and just hopes her awkward words come out right

For once, she wishes she was a little more like Daniela and could effortlessly keep this conversation up and ask whether you’re alright without this awkwardness

You gulp, pulled from your thoughts

It’s a little unusual to see her like this- so…out of her element, almost

Still, you treasure her company, and see what she’s doing

“I’m fine”, you lie, pressing your eyes shut and refusing to whimper

You don’t want to lie to her

You want to tell her all about it, want to even throw your arms around her and cry

Bela’s just always had this aura about her that made you seek her favor and praise

At the same time, you don’t want to drive her away now, don’t want to “bother” her with your problems

She frowns, confused. Hearing your heart quickening and picking up the scent of your sweat, she’s hardly fooled by your answer

Only does she not quite understand why you’d lie. Especially to her

Instead, she does what she often does when her sisters lie to her and she sees through it. She stays quiet

You whimper as her golden eyes stay on you, a gentle gaze, but one that tells you she’s awaiting your response and giving you the opportunity to correct yourself

And, wise enough, you do so

You feel tears welling up in your eyes as you pull away the blankets and pull the hoodie covering you up just slightly, just enough to show her the small pouch at your belly from under your top

Alas, she doesn’t react, unsure what this means

While having been taught to express herself always, Bela is almost a stranger to insecurity- at the very least as it comes to her body

She’s never felt worried about the way she looks, paying little mind to it

You envy her

Then, just when you cover yourself up again, she asks again;

“Did something happen, little one?”

You crack

The nickname is enough for tears to run down your cheeks and- to your surprise- you feel her arm wrap around you

You’re pulled to her, sniffling

You pick up her scent, her elegant perfume and the metallic scent of blood lying underneath, only picked up this close to her

And briefly, just briefly, you have a dark thought, wishing she could just kill those that treated you so unfairly

With her arm around you, you feel impossibly safe- likely unlike most others that are this close to her

You begin to talk, begin to tell her of everything

Of the mockery, of the laughter

Of the little, stabbing comments made here and there

Of the looks

Of the mean glances and words

Of your insecurities and the growing feeling of anxiety and emptiness in you

And Bela?

She doesn’t interrupt, doesn’t talk. She only listens to you, humming occasionally to let you know you have her full attention

It’s a wonderful feeling

As you elaborate and cry a little more, she holds you tighter

She seems a little less awkward now, as if used to hold someone when they cry, and briefly you feel a strike of envy, wondering if there’s other maidens held by her and comforted like this. Then, the feeling fades when you figure; it must be Daniela, her younger sister, who you know cries easily from own experiences of holding and comforting the young woman after one of her episodes

You find, Bela offers the best hugs, though, and likely quite the rare ones

You stay close to her, breathing out a sigh of relief when you finish talking

It’s almost like speaking about it helped

She doesn’t quite understand their behavior, writes it off to the general behavior of scum

She finds, as such, they deserve to be treated just as certain way, too

You’re granted another day of staying in your room until Bela insists you return to work

More surprisingly, though, you find a maid, one of the newer ones, a little shy, but friendly, bring you a meal three times a day that day

She doesn’t say a thing, too nervous in the castle still, but you’re certain she was tasked to do so by Bela

And when you do return to work, anxious and dressed in slightly bigger clothes than normal, as if you could hide away, you find no trace of those who mocked you

Perhaps wickedly, you wonder what happened to them, whether they’ve been dragged away, killed, mauled, toyed with my the sadistic Dimitrescu sisters

Whether Bela in particular killed them. Is killing them. Is hurting them

But it’s like they never even existed, instead

You hear no screams at night. No whispers of what might have happened at all

It’s almost like your problems dissolved into thin air…

And you know you have none other than Bela Dimitrescu to thank for it

[cursed-cube]

So a common headcanon/theory I’ve seen floating around is that when Okarun shifts into his yokai form, the personality shift he undergoes is representative of a “truer” inner self. I can see the line of logic that led to this, but the more thought I’ve put into it, the less I’ve agreed with the premise. And I’ve put so much thought into it at this point that it’s had to become its own whole post separated from the analysis it was originally a part of, so strap in.

Disclaimer: if this is your personal headcanon, I’m not here to try to prove you wrong or make you change your mind, I’m more so discussing this from the theory side of things and what I think will happen as the manga continues. Also slight manga spoilers for up to chapter 172 !!

So as the theory goes, the personality that comes out when Okarun’s transformed is a more genuine version of himself, where his yokai form removes his anxieties and allows him to act more confidently and openly show the depression and pessimism that’s lived in him the whole time. On a surface level this tracks, as being in this form does make him more confident, blunt, and he completely drops the formal way he speaks to people, going so far as to adopt a cute nickname for Momo.

I don’t think this fully makes sense for a number of reasons, though. Firstly is that throughout all 175 chapters that are currently out, I can’t recall any moments where Okarun ever acts in a way that would hint at his real inner workings reflecting the personality and behavior that come out when he is transformed. I could have missed something, of course, but when so much of Momo and Okarun’s relationship is built on them being their genuine selves around the other (more on that in this great video I saw), I’m inclined to believe that there isn’t going to be another shoe to drop nearly 200 chapters in.

To explain my other reasoning, I’m going to have to go into a little bit of a side tangent about Aira, and first I want to establish why I think comparing Okarun to her in this instance makes sense. So up until the cursed diorama arc, the only character that really has comparable yokai related powers to Okarun is Aira. They acquire these powers in different ways, and Seiko says Okarun has Turbo Granny’s “spiritual power”, whereas Acro-Silky says she gave Aira her “aura.” Given the contexts of the scenes these are said in I would assume they are meant to be two different concepts, however it’s not ever explicitly stated or shown how the difference there affects them or their yokai abilities, so I am treating them as functionally the same thing for this analysis. Regardless, the similarity between them seems to be that in one way or another, they have been left with the spiritual energy of their respective yokai, which allows them to transform in very similar ways. Their transformations affect them both physically in making them taller and stronger, as well as their personalities, with Okraun becoming less formal overall, and Aira becoming more formal in the way she addresses people.

Even though they are affected by their transformations in very similar ways, I haven’t seen any kind of headcanon or theory that the way Aira behaves while transformed is how she truly is or feels, which makes perfect sense considering her first character arc. From when she’s introduced, she’s shown to have a dynamic with Momo, Okarun, and her other peers at school, where even before she’s able to use Acro-Silky’s abilities, she’s pretty two faced. In chapter 51, Momo even says, “There’s our Aira!” when she and Okarun pull Aira away from her class and she immediately shifts to her more snarky attitude towards Momo. The manga makes it quite clear that the way she acts at school, and on occasion towards Okarun, is an act, and that her genuine personality is a little nasty and rude (which she is loved for! By other characters and audience members of taste). And with that established, of course no one put that much emphasis on how her behavior changes when she’s using Acro-Silky’s powers. She’s still the same person, her mannerisms and the way she speaks are just altered slightly, which is also pretty much how I feel about Okarun’s yokai form.

That being said, I don’t want to fully dismiss that the shifted personality could mean something, and in fact I wouldn’t be surprised if Okarun did still have some repressed feelings and pessimism from his time growing up without any friends, but at the current point in the story I’m not sure if I could see that being shown explicitly tied to his yokai form. As of chapter 165, Okarun gets his final ball back, and as per his end of the deal, he returned Turbo Granny’s spiritual power to her, and she left with them and hasn’t made an appearance since. Okarun no longer has access to his yokai form, but at this point he’s surrounded by friends, he’s confessed his feelings to Momo, and he’s even grown physically strong enough to hold his own in a fight without any powers. As far as what we’ve been shown, Okarun has developed and his life has changed so much that he doesn’t really have any of those reasons to be a pessimistic downer that he had before the events of the series. Not to say he has no reasons to be sad, of course, we still haven’t been given even a hint of what his family and home life is like, and I expect something will happen with that eventually. But with where the story has gone so far, I don’t see this theory being true or narratively compelling.

TLDR: There’s not much evidence going for this theory, and several things against it, so I personally don’t see it going anywhere in the canon series. The way Okarun acts and the feelings he expresses in his yokai form could still potentially mean something, so I won't completely dismiss it, but with where the story is currently I don’t think this theory being true would add much or be a compelling element of the plot.

[goodyordle]

An Analysis on Season 2 Vi

SPOILER under the cut

I have SO many thoughts about how they wrote Vi this season. So I get that they wanted to go with a more vulnerable Vi this season compared to the tough character we had in season 1. I was excited for this direction for her character, that’s why I’m kind of disappointed that she felt flat and more one-dimensional this time around.

Firstly, I felt like in season 1, Vi was such a centerpiece to the show. From her relationship with Jinx and following Vander’s legacy. She actively moves the plot with these two elements.

But in season 2, I barely see her do anything that contributes to the plot actively and takes a much more passive role. This time, Caitlyn and Jinx are taking the lead on shaping her goals (whether this is her becoming an enforcer or her saving Vander). As a viewer, I do empathize with Vi. We see time and time again that she is a character that values loyalty and keeping her loved ones close to her, and she keeps getting betrayed.

But we never see these arcs get resolved, at least in a satisfying manner. We never see her find strength in her vulnerability or regain courage to find herself again. And this is an arc that most, if not all, characters in Arcane had. All of them had some sort of redemption and willingness to make things right.

We never see Vi try to grow beyond her comfort zone (which is using her fists / brawling). We don’t see her use her vulnerability as a new way to show toughness to her character.

For instance, the argument with Caitlyn. Now I enjoy this ship as much as the next person but I felt like the conflict got resolved a bit too quickly? It’s clear that Vi’s trauma of betrayal and abandonment runs deep (man, I feel so bad for her tbh).

My interpretation of this last shot of Cait and Vi (after Caitlyn asks “are you still in this fight, Violet?), in my opinion, also reflects this lack of resolution, where Vi generally looks more closed off. There is no raw vulnerability that Vi displays. She never expressed how hurt she was with Caitlyn’s actions. Even when Vi says she is the “dirt under Cait’s fingernails”, her expression looks quite pained and tired.

Then we have the argument with Jinx. Their sibling dynamic is the key plot of Arcane and is a heavily emphasized theme but their resolutions feel underwhelming both times.

The first time was when Jinx locked her up in the cell. I mean the fact that Vi didn’t immediately go look for Jinx given that she was depressed felt a bit out of character for me. Like she gave no emotional reassurance to Jinx who was obviously guilt-ridden from Isha’s death. Again, no vulnerability. And the placement of the Caitvi *cough cough* scene was questionable, considering it was right after Jinx expressed her anguish. Yes, she wants Vi to be happy, but wasn’t Vi’s character this whole time shown as one who is happy when she can take care of the people she loves?

Like if I were to draw a parallel to Jayce and Viktor, where Jayce says that he just wants his partner back, they could’ve had done something similar between Vi and Jinx. Vi could have expressed that she just wanted her family back. She needed her sister, which is something she never expressed because the dynamic was always of Jinx needing Vi.

Anyways back to that scene, I felt like it would have been more impactful honestly if Caitlyn even encouraged Vi to find her sister since I think that is quite fitting to Caitlyn’s arc as well and adds more depth to her feelings towards Jinx. If they had a bit more emotional resolution, I feel like her final scene with Jinx would have been more impactful. (And probably would add more emotional weight and spiciness to the Caitvi scene too iykwim)

That brings me to the second scene when Jinx sacrifices herself. The aftermath felt too rushed for me. When we have Vi acting like “normal” right after Jinx’ sacrifice, it diminishes their relationship in my eyes. Granted, I doubt she’s normal. In fact, I think Vi looks really resigned in her final scene but again, this is a bit difficult to pick up if there are no context clues.

Like in terms of the concept, I get it. I believe the writers were trying to make a full circle moment where Vi, who was the protector of her little sister, is now the one being protected by Jinx, who is now all grown up. It’s just the execution that doesn’t sit too well with me. Maybe it’s the pacing because I feel like as a viewer, you have to digest so many emotional scenes at once.

I just wish we had more opportunities to see Vi be vulnerable and show that as a source of new strength and as a way to reinforce her relationships with Jinx and Caitlyn. But unfortunately, her character development ended up static. And honestly she’s such a tragic character that had that potential. They showed her trauma even in the final scene with Vander/Warwick and how she couldn’t even bring herself to move despite Jinx’ warning. Like show more of that!! Let her be the one that needs to be protected by those she used to protect, instead of just following them around and beating up their enemies. As a result, I felt like she didn’t really add much weight to the finale (low key Maddie had more of a plot). Like this show is still a 10/10 with solid writing but this, after processing the show, I believe is its weakest point.

They can never make me hate you, Vi, you deserved a better character arc :(

[sofokl13]

tw: suicide

ok you know what?? i may not let jinx go actually. i think her conclusion can go both ways. there's some evidence she might've lived and i can't imagine riot actually killing of the most beloved character like this. but what if they do?

i know people have very strong opinions on characters sacrificing themselves, especially if said characters could achieve redemption any other way. they say it's depressing and shows that when you're broken enough, the only way is to kys. but, my two cents as someone who's been battling suicidal thoughts for years and maybe yearned for a sacrifice like this... i don't disapprove of this message. i think people deserve to go out on their terms. suicide isn't inherently bad. it's a human right. and jinx has been through so much that maybe it was the best choice for her. after all, that's what silco said; the only way to end the cycle is to opt out. she was ready to do that with burning everything left after her jinx-style, but in the end, she was ready to go out like a hero. instead of simply killing herself, she made it an act of love for her sister. she went out on her own terms.

on the other hand, if she's actually alive, it could be explained in a satisfactory way too (because IMO characters magically turning up alive isn't a much better trope either). as i wrote above, she lives like a jinx but doesn't die like one. it's her ultimate act. well, what if this is where jinx dies? her christening. jinx was born in the flames and died in the flames. instead, powder comes back. she passed the test. she's free now.

idk, this is going to be a controversial post probably, but i wanted to pour out my thoughts and feelings. i do hope jayce, viktor and heimerdinger don't come back because IMO their arcs were finished perfectly. but jinx is a more complex and volatile character. schrodinger's cat, even.

either way, she will always live in my heart. thank you, riot and fortiche.

[hellion-child]

remember when 911 used to include the 118 in each other's personal lives?? the way they would present a central theme and then weave it thru everyone's story was one of the things that really drew me to the show. i love that shit lmao

maddie's pregnancy feels like one of those missed opportunities. its not just that i hate the way the pregnancy was, once again, accidental (i wish theyd made the decision intentional. the surprise at the end of the discussion really cheapened it all) and the way they rushed maddies feelings about it, and didnt show any of her journey to reach the point of being ready for a second pregnancy (fantastic chance for convos w her dispatch coworkers huh)

but remember when chimney would bring his relationship problems to the 118? remember all the kitchen convos they would have? it gives chim a chance to air his (v valid) concerns and his hopes, in a way that opens up the storyline to the other characters too

since they wanna trigger bucks abandonment issues again?? ok then. now hes worried about maddie running again. that she could always just run again. hes always just accepted it in the past when she runs. what is he like when he (thinks he) knows its coming?? would he do anything different now? or would this pregnancy remind him that hes of the age where hes expected to have kids/be planning to have kids? could he spiral about how he feels about that?? (be that he feels like his "biological clock" is ticking or the realisation that he doesnt want to be a father and thats ok? so many options!)

since they wanna make every henren storyline about their kids? heres a chance to have them struggle w the reminder of their own pregnancy difficulties. can personally confirm, u think ur good w that shit until suddenly u get a reminder that no, u are not. during that sl they focused on karens depression and hen just did not get it. how would that be different now? has hen processed the loss by now? does it hurt more now?? and show hen concerned for not just chimney, but also for maddie now too. their relationship has grown so much since maddie first ran away and madneys engagement. give hen concerned for and trying to support chimney AND maddie. show karen trying to be happy for maddie when its hard for her (ough. maddie thinking karen is mad at her for some reason bcos karen has been avoiding her but its bcos karen is struggling w her own feelings about pregnancy and doesnt wanna put that on maddie and ruin her happiness and maddie ends up cornering karen to "fix it" bcos theyre so close now and karen tries so hard to keep it together but she bursts into tears and maddie holds her and htey cry together?? now im tearing up FUCK. the dual power of jlh and tracie thoms crying?? we would never recover) fuck, give us that henchim tension and have hen struggle w jealousy that chimney gets to easily grow his family when she has hurdle after heartbreak after hurdle. have chim mad at hen for being cautious about another pregnancy, for being so negative when she should be happy for him! let their own traumas and fears affect how they communicate! dig into the drama!! on the drama show!! have them fight it out, have them cry it out, have them come out of it better best friends and a closer family pleeease

and eddie!! oh my god, theres so much potential there. eddie struggling to see the happily married husband and wife having a second child. that was what he was "supposed to do". thats what he wanted. thats what was taken from him, by shannons death. by shannons divorce. by his failure to give chris a mum. by his own actions. use that! have him and buck talk about the expectations to be fathers. have eddie talk to maddie about running away bcos u think thats what is best for ur child. have them talk about being parentified. what i would give for eddie and chim to talk about father-son relationships. chimneys father leaving him in another country vs chris being in another state?? delicious. even better if they argue about it, work thru it, make up. they help eddie process his situation better and move him towards repairing his relationship w chris!!

im running out of steam now lmao idk how this would personally impact bathena. probs more that they would both be giving advice/lending an ear. hen (w karen?) talking their troubles out w athena. the 118 going to bobby for advice. espesh eddie, him talking to bobby about fatherhood and daddy issues should be explored, plus bobby AND athena have both lost a spouse! ok now im just pissing myself off, thinking of all the wasted potential here lmao

and hey, maybe the show does intend to dig into these things?? who knows! not us!! not tim i just needed to vent here mostly lmao

[elizabeaufort]

⸻ Elizabeth let her mother help her to settle the twins before sitting on the table, she was tending to Lilou when Stella was with Beau. The blonde shouldn't be lifting any of her toddlers, but she was ignoring what she could and could not do. Once they were all well accommodating in their seats, Lilou sneezed again, and she helped clean her daughter's nose. ⎯ Once her mother jests at her answer, a ghost smile appears on her rosy lips, and she takes napkins to stop her nosebleeds. When Stella took the initiative to make the orders, she nodded. Liz looked at her son and kissed his chubby cheek. In truth, the blonde used to hide when she felt so… Depressed. Always found a way for her twins never to see her sad, but now she wasn't making even a slight effort. She was so heartbroken with her father.

❛ I want an iced tea. I'm not hungry. Any tea, as long as it is cold. ❜ Liz wasn't really hungry much of late. She was hardly eating after that fiasco of a holiday. Lilou looked at her grandmother. ❛ Lilou wants orange juice annnnnd blueberry muffin. ❜ Lilou says sniffing, and Beau stares at his grandmother. ❛ Beau wants Pain du chocolate and orange juice. ❜ Beau says to his grandmother. Liz allowed the twins to do the talk. It was distracting them from observing her, and focus on Stella instead.

In truth, she has no idea what she wants to talk to her mother. She was equally vexed with both of her parents, but the heartbreak that Claude gave her was bigger than any damage Stella did to her, in the moment. ❛ Granny, grandpops said you fly in a broom. Can you teach me? ❜ Lilou asked Stella, giggling, and her dimples were very similar to her mother's. ❛ If you ever want a moment alone with them without my presence you can, Stella. I mean, for the future. As long as there is no smoking in front of them. ❜ If her father still gets to see his grandchildren after all that shit show, and her mother is staying in the city for an undetermined time, she decided that her mother could see her grandchildren whenever she feels like doing it.

Elizabeth removed the napkin from her nose once her nosebleed stopped. Her mother invited her for a coffee in perfect timing because Liz didn't have any energy to make some food for the twins when she got home, and Alex was traveling.

──the smile hastened on her lips at the sight of her grandchildren —she may not be overly fond of the fact that they call her granny, making her feel ancient, but she is very enamored with the duo otherwise. perhaps, she is going to be a better grandma than she ever was a mother; many factors contribute to this, and the fact that she is in a better place, financially, for her also plays a huge part ( Stella has always been materialistic, selfish when it comes to her indulgence and luxuries she allows herself ). “oh, my darlings,” she cooed softly as she noticed them sniffling and sneezing, stroke Lilou’s hair and kissed Beau’s chubby cheek. she made to help Elizabeth lift Beau to the high chair if she allowed her, aware that her daughter shouldn’t really be lifting them given that she is well into the first trimester of her pregnancy, almost in the second now, if she wasn’t mistaken.

once the twins were settled, she sat back down and took a better look at her daughter. she could tell that she wasn’t in a good mood; perhaps, tired would cover it, even though she suspected there was more to it —Liz had defended her father fiercely to her the first time they met, every accusation she would bestow upon him, her daughter would find something to make an excuse for it or counter, so much she had given up talking about her husband, seeing as she wouldn’t sway the other’s opinion, so now she imagined the betrayal that came to light had left her heartbroken ( again, she was only drawing her own conclusions based on Liz’s reaction when she found out about it, too ).

“not yet,” she joked with a light laugh, even though she wasn’t entirely certain that her daughter would appreciate this humor. she had beat up Vivienne, again, but this time nobody else was there to call the cops, Claude had to save the other woman himself. she was about to speak when she noticed Liz’s nosebleed and she paused. “I can go order for us,” she offered, smiling a little reassuringly at Beau when he said 'momma' when he noticed her being unwell, reached out to caress his head. “and you can take a moment to rest,” the older blonde added after a moment. “what do you want to have?” there was a lot they had to talk about it, still, but first she wanted her to feel better before she would bring up her father’s appearance and every revelation that had come with him showing up, seemingly, out of the blue.

[dykedvonte]

I think it’s so ironic that the Pony Express escapes a lot if not all blame in discussion. I can’t even say I am excused from it but it’s just how hard people circle back to the characters alone without considering the environment they were made to be in.

Why would they design a ship where only two of the rooms lock? Not the bathroom? Not the sleeping quarters? We assume that all the companies in the universe are this shallow and careless to their workers but we explicitly know the Pony Express in extra vile. They are fed processed slop pack they can’t even really cook and the ration of those pack is meager at best. They hired and made people with a plethora of conflicting demeanors and beliefs work together on a mission where cohesion is important if not an outright necessity and punish them for not being happy about it. There’s no social protocols, not chain of command other than Captain’s word/choice and the only way to enforce that is with a literal firearm. They don’t allow them to celebrate freely and even took away leisure activities that would make them less stir crazy. They are only allowed a few hours of sleep despite their being no other real responsibilities or work on the ship, no matter the position or its importance. With any crew, with any level of synergy, this was a powder keg waiting for a spark.

I’m not saying characters that made mistakes didn’t make huge ones, but I think part of the horror is that at least for some (this is targeting Jimathan) those mistakes are partly made by a force of the hand. There’s a running theme of lack of choice and being forced into something and the very nature of how The Pony Express expected them to function plays a big part.

[possamble]

AHA thank u i was mostly just. frantically pulling the "no hetero" card bc farcille is super super always endgame for me and the "marcille has two hands" thing is absolutely not for me and my personal characterization of marcille

i like. can't find it anymore for some reason but there was a farcille fic set just after the shuro confrontation where laios reaches over to hold marcille's hand and ask her if she likes him or if she's just tolerating him too and it was so. the vulnerability. the puppyness.

that safety and security he must feel in knowing that she wears her heart on her sleeve and he will always know when she's unhappy with him because she will absolutely let it be known. the way that falin's first revival was the turning point for the way he felt about her because, for the first time in his life, protecting falin wasn't something he had to shoulder alone. there was finally someone else who cared about her as much as he did (in his eyes, resenting his parents for failing to protect her) and would stop at nothing to save her. the way it must have been proof for him that, not only was falin not alone anymore, he wasn't alone anymore.

idk why i like rather than dislike the fact that his only framework for parsing how he feels about "the first girl other than his sister that he's ever cared this much about" is a comphet romantic lens. like he would have the autism moment of fully assuming that he's in love with her for a while and just like. not? doing anything about it? because he doesn't feel the urge to, nor is he sad that he knows marcille would mostly likely never "feel the same way" about him?

like. he "figures out" that he's "in love with marcille" with all the passion of printing out a label and sticking it onto a favourite scrapbook for organizational purposes. he's equally happy to be her husband or brother-in-law so long as it means she stays close and is part of his family.

i know logically i should hate it but it's sooo crunchy to me. my comphet besties ever. designated plus one and dance partner to all fancy and formal occasions. having actual real chemistry but the "romantic" part of it is some weird shapeshifter smokescreen. augh

[deus-ex-mona]

no thoughts, just the way the narumi sisters are so different yet fundamentally similar at the same time yk?