#Even for my fucking smile | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pnuk-r0ck · 2 years

Text

Growing up is realizing you were bullied a lot in elementary and middle school

#I got bullied for the stupidest things too💀#Like how I looked down while I walked #My tooth gap #Being trans #Being fat #Even for my fucking smile #Kids are brutal to each other #High school ain’t that bad yet #Ill occasionally hear people talking shit about me because they don’t like my band shirts or some stupid reason🤷#Victor Speaks #I’m fine tho :)

3 notes · View notes

giantkillerjack · 1 year

Text

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

17K notes · View notes

bigfatbreak · 7 months

Text

The Charity Ball part one / part two / part three / (you are here!)

bonus! rehauled Mayura~

I wanted. something. more dynamic to draw when she was getting thrown around-

#dad villain au #my art #viceroy #bitterbug #marinette dupain cheng #tom dupain cheng #emelie agreste #mayura #adrien agreste #lets fucking gooooooo #ngl this update was just an excuse for me to draw smiling viceroy. even in supervillain form he cant hide how much he adores mari #viceroy's butterfly wing helm curls up at the edges when he's really pleased #so naturally just looking at his kid makes his wings go cute mode

5K notes · View notes

carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year

Text

he's squeaky toy. to me.

#aough i love him so much....#i will never be able to recreate this style/design i already know #my love for him is so great that it renders me unable to draw him consistently #it took all of my willpower not to clutter this with heart scribbles #himhimhimhimhimhimhimhimhim-#welcome home #welcome home puppet show #scribble garnish #welcome home fanart #welcome home wally #wally darling #NOOOOOO I MADE HIS CARDIGAN TOO DARK. FUCK #itsfineitsfineitsfine No One Will Notice #sigh. anyway...#i love his lil ascot and bizarre hair and cat smile and-#i have decided to put Slightly More Effort into my doodles. i think it might be worth it #even if the sun is up and my wrist hurty and im tired. i have been drawing for hours und hourz #and putting that right after more hours und hourz of crocheting? Ouch My Tendons

9K notes · View notes

ruporas · 1 year

Photo

i’ll find you again in every universe. let us be a little more honest, let us have a little more time.

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #despite it all though badlands rumble is like. the only universe where we get wolfwood thinking vash died first... and i think that means a #lot to their relationship and how it may bloom if there was more to badlands rumble considering vash literally saw wolfwood carrying a piece #of vash after his supposed death. u know! despite the short time they were together vash still meant so much to wolfwood that he couldn't #just move on or forget him in anyway. needed to keep a piece of him for himself and the rest of his days. but ofc vash lives and wolfwood #was like ill beat ur fucking ass into tomorrow. there's just so much honesty in vash being able to see that gesture bc he wouldnt know #otherwise just how much he might mean to him. ANYWAY. trimax with with the eternal pining featuring the two chapters where imo #where the both of them really fell for each other... i wrote my thoughts about this on another comic i did before #but vash solidifying his feelings during the hospital arc -- ww solidifies his when he realizes his allegiances are permanently with vash #98 my lovelies but also to me they are so one-sided bc ww pined like no tomorrow and vash only realizes after ep 23?24? his heart did tickle #whenever ww complimented his smile though #and tristamp vw my beloveds. it really just feels like they get the chance to be closer and closer and more honest with each other #with every version that comes about. in trimax they knew how little time they had but struggled so desperately to get closer. in 98 ww felt #more willing to forsake for vash. in badlands rumble theyre Angry but as mentioned earlier ^ more blatant truth... due to circumstances #mainly but has the chance to lead to discussions and tristamp literally. first day of knowing each other ww saves vash - 2 days later vash #saves ww like. Man. AND NOW THEY MAY POTENTIALLY GET EVEN CLOSER!!!! with s2....#ruporas art

5K notes · View notes

bloodsbane · 2 years

Text

Kitchen Nightmares, S5 E1

#kitchen nightmares #kn lb #do i even have to explain why i dropped everything to capture this moment #you don't understand her smile makes me fucking insane #slowly unfurling like when the fucking grinch he realized he was gonna steal christmas #the staff on kn ARE NEVER FUCKING AROUND #especially when their bosses are shitty like. oh my god #it's the best part of this show hands down lol #love when the staff get tired of being nice #also im so glad i got that EXACT last frame it really really encapsulates the energy

6K notes · View notes

medicalunprofessional · 1 year

Text

the sickness is winning sorry .. more doodles. oohhh i can feel my artstyle shifting ever so slightly

i like rendering mundane doodles its fun and good practice for me 🫣

2K notes · View notes

trypoed · 2 months

Text

get a man who looks at you with the same affection that Hoffman looks at Strahm's hand

#WHAT'S THAT SMILE EVEN ABOUT MARK???#YOU'RE LIKE 'MY PRECIOUSSSS' OR WHAT?#WHAT'S GOING ON MARkKkKK???#did you come up with some SPECIAL use for that hand?#JUST LIKE IN MY FIC?#WHAT THE FUCK DOES YOUR SMILE MEAN???#IT'S NOT EVEN A GRIN WHY ARE YOU SO PLAYFUL AFFECTIONATE AND GENTLE?#MAN YOU'RE TOTALLY NOT OKAY (says with approval)#saw #mark hoffman #peter strahm #hoffstrahm #coffinshipping #my shitty posts

328 notes · View notes

natelia-aldelliz · 2 years

Text

Ghost after meeting Soap.

Price : Have you slept?

Ghost : Depends what day it is

Price : Go to bed.

#cod mw2 #simon ghost riley #captain john price #implied ghostsoap #implied soapghost #ghost is a catboy by the way #Soap is more complicated because he's a cat person and doesn't like dogs but also he's very dogboy leaning personality wise #dad price for the win even if he's only old enough to be big brother price; he's 50 spiritually according to his 'kids'#price would be like 'ok do you want to talk about it?'#and ghost would look at him like 'what do you mean “talk about it” what happened to bottle it up like normal people?'#“i'll just forget all about it” ghost tells himself #and then soap is bumping into him in the corridor and smiling up at him with the power of the fucking sun and wow ghost is in love fuck #i was supposed to draw something for valentine's day but my brain was all no : funny scene first but now it's 9:30 am and i haven't slept #maybe expect something for valentine's day at some point - probably not today tho but like at some point this week maybe ?

4K notes · View notes

introspectivememories · 7 months

Text

nah because crofty is genuinely insane because why would you say that about your coworker???? and to his face??? "this man knows lewis hamilton. friends, teammates, childhood buddies, rivals, everything but a lover." hello???? why are you saying that to nico rosberg's face???? why are you, as the lead f1 commentator, writing fanfiction about your coworker???? about him and his ex???? and also, what an insane thing to say about someone else's relationship!!! "everything but a lover"... just show them having gay sex onscreen, it would be less intimate than whatever the hell you just said.

#it's been almost 3 years since that happened and yet i still rotate that moment in my head like a rotisserie chicken #'everything but a lover'.... what a terribly intimate thing to say about another person #like isn't that more romantic than actually being someone's partner??? they are everything to you but a romantic interest #wow... they are your friend your brother the little butterflies in your stomach... everything and anything but a lover #because like you can live without a lover but can you live without the tender smile your friend gives you when something good happens?#can you live without the hugs and the shared podiums and the shared dreams and greece?#also imagine lewis coming home and eciding to watch a recap of the race and then crofty just says this... like what the fuck do you even sa #i just /know/ that the industry is scheming to bring them back together again bc what else could this have been?#david croft #lewis hamilton #nico rosberg #brocedes #f1

814 notes · View notes

thefirstpaleontologist · 8 months

Text

Anatomy of Alastors demonic forms