#Essay Anon

[my-castles-crumbling]

To the anon who sent me their English essay!

I totally don't mind editing! Can you just change the permissions so anyone with the link can leave comments? That way I can tell you changes to make without actually changing the paper. Re-send me the link when you do!

[f0rtuned]

YAY that was me essay anon but I was embarrassed to ask... qwq

OK ANYWAYS cannn I have an angel dust stim/mood board ( if you can't find GIFs just make it a mood board but I'd prefer a stimboard !!! ) with reds/pinks, lovecore ( hearts and glitter,,, valentine's day stuff ? ) maybe money if possible :0, plushies, high heels, makeup... you get the vibe!!! And preferably if you could maybe find a picture of alastor and me ( angel duhh ) to use too... If not that's totally okay!!!!! I'd preferr no slime it food stuff, I know desserts are rlly common when looking for heart stims, maybe if you could find like, love heart clack cracking instead? It's specific but I swear I've seen it before... Anyways that is all !!!

-essay anon

Angel stimboard with lipstick, makeup, plushies, and lovecore for essay anon!

reblogs>>>likes

[atherix]

hi again!! i'm back as i said :3 first of all, you answer made me so happy ahh i read it on my way back home and i couldn't stop smiling at my phone like an idiot. the fact that you've thought about me means so much:( being perceived but in a good way. sometimes happiness is your favorite author answering your ask and telling you they still love hearing from you<3 (also if you see this, hiii belle :3 i saw your reblog and im so happy that you were somewhat inspired by my silly little ramblings!!<3 you are literally so cool) anyway i tried to figure out what was the last part of the series i wrote to you about but my memory seems to just refresh every few months and i don't remember at All. i've been binging the series for the whole day today and i just finished midnight miseries so i'm gonna talk about it now bc i have so many thoughts!!!! i was thinking whether i should catch up with everything and then write about it but we would sit here for the next week if i did that i think so . i'm doing this in parts. (and i hope i don't sound too silly if i make comments about something that just gets resolved in the next part or something lmaoo . im catching up okay) first of all, mumbo and grian making a greenhouse for scar is everything to me they're so sweet.... they just want scar to feel safe and comfortable ahh<3 of course mumbo would want to spoil his partners as much as he can<3 and wanting scar to move in with them!!! they want to have him close!!! and tubbo as well!!!! they're a family!!! grian and mumbo taking care of tubbo and thinking fondly of him makes me so happy, they love that boy (honestly who doesn't, midnight tubbo my beloved) AND BLONDIE APPEREANCEEE I HATE HER SO MUCH but that's good because. she's such a good villain, she makes me feel pure Rage. likee she's so unhinged and fucked up but also powerful and it makes the situation so serious when she appears. the entire time when mumbo and grian fought with her i was just like. yeah it's not looking good for them huh. SHE DRANK GRIAN'S BLOOD. AND THEN MUMBO DRANK GRIAN'S BLOOD. LITERALLY INSANE SO MUCH WAS HAPPENING. grian trusting mumbo completely and not being afraid of him, only afraid of losing him means so much to me:( they love each other so much grian having an identity crisis in the middle of the fight because she called him a godling ohhhh i know there will be more grian lore in the next parts and im so excited to read them!!! MUMBO GOT TO BE FERAL AND PROTECTIVE AND ANGRY THAT BLONDIE OFFENDED HIS MATES YESSSSS! i love mumbo manipulating shadows so much, the way you describe it is literally so cool!!! he's so badass with his shadows, covered in blood and filled with rage<3 TUBBO SAVES THE DAY MY BOY!! but i was so surprised when he appeared bc i was wondering what was he even doing at the mansion. he's gotten so strong and he's so skilled with magic, he really takes after scar in this aspect huh<3 also kudos to tubbo for facing a super powerful vampire like that, especially unprepared, it must have been so scary. scar will Not be pleased when he finds out that both of his lovers and his son came this close to dying.....

them not calling scar right away is . and scar not calling them for help either, they're all so dumb and overprotective of each other god!!! GRIAN FINDING THE WATCHER'S BIBLE AT SCAR'S PLACE AHHH LITERAL CHILLS. the brief moment when he thought that oh shit oh fuck could scar follow them but also he loves scar and trusts him so he doesn't go into full on panic mode because of this:( GRIAN FLYING. GRIAN FLYING. GRIAN FLYING!!!!! GOD THIS WAS SUCH A COOL MOMENT. HIM FLYING FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE HIS WINGS GOT CLIPPED. but of course he decides to face blondie on his own because he's too stubborn for his own good. nothing bad could happen right! right!! his whole confrontation with blondie was so good, the way she plays with his emotions ughhs i hate her so much!!!

AND THE SCENE WHEN TUBBO AND SCAR FIGHT BLONDIE TOGETHER IS SOOO SO COOL GOD. THEM FIGHTING TOGETHER AND BEING SO COORDINATED AND TRUSTING EACH OTHER I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!! scar going completely feral as soon as someone lays their hands on tubbo so real<3 but blondie not dying after being blasted is um. a little troublesome. THE ARGUMENT MADE ME INSANE IT WAS SO!!! i'm so glad they actually talked about their issues this time because yeah. they definitely needed that. tubbo yelling at all of them was deserved honestly, he said if no one in this room is gonna be a responsible adult i guess i'll have to. and he was so right for this, call them out tubbo! the 15k words of conversation was something that really needed to happen and i'm so glad it did<3 they all deserve a little honest talk about their feelings and the comfort of knowing that the people you love will still love you even when they know about your deepest insecurities and troubles, as a treat. all of their stories made me so sad, i love them so much:( scar is so dear to me im sorry i keep saying this but i have to let you know how much i love him!!! im a midnight scar enjoyer first, human second. him feeling guilty about his father trying to help him even though it cost him his own life... when he was just a kid.... and he would absolutely do the same for tubbo... :(( god i want to hug him so bad, i'm glad mumbo and grian are there to do it instead. mumbo feeling the need to protect his coven because he feels like he's failed to protect everyone else in his life:( it makes me so sad because he's such a great lord and he's so caring it hurts!! he loves grian and scar (and tubbo) and would do anything to protect them. i love how scar went "let me tell you something" and brought all these books, like, he's been in love with mumbo for such a long time, mumbo's always been a great person to him and he wishes mumbo could see it the way he does:( GRIAN LORE!!! he's really been through so much hasn't he. the stuff about having a soul of the wacther he killes inside of him is so interesting, i can't wait to see where it goes. i always say it but i love your wordbuilding so much, your mind never fails to amaze me honestly. you come up with such cool concepts and you make the lore so entertaining and interesting, the world you create feels actually alive and every little bit of lore you throw at us is always fascinating<3 i'm obsessed with the way you describe the magic and how it works in this universe, it's cooler than so many fantasy books i've read seriously i started writing this maybe an hour ago, it's like a full time job atp LMAO. but i hope you will enjoy it, i just love rambling about how much i love this series<3 i will continue reading tomorrow so you can expect the reaction to the next parts soon. i can't wait to red midnight alley, i sure hope nothing bad happens there hahah! i'm looking forward to see what you have in store for us next, even if it might make me join the angry mob that's coming for your life<3 (affectionately)

Sorry I took so long to answer, work is evil orz Hello hello and welcome back! :D

hhhh I'm glad!! :'3 Being perceived can be scary but in this case, is good <3

(@stitchthesewords now they'll definitely see it >:3 )

Mmm it's been a hot minute and I don't remember either 😔Midnight Miseries!! AKA the one where they Talk™! :D No worry, you'll never sound silly, after all you're commenting on what you've read so far <3

🥺 I love them so much they want him to be happy and comfortable and they're so valid for that. Also sweet im hjhhh Mumbo is like "I have all this money I've built up over the last few centuries I may as well use it to spoil my mates" <3 and honestly, so valid. Yes!! Tubbo is Coven Child!! Keep him close <3<3 They adore him. He is Son™ now 😌 (We all adore Tubbo <3)

WE HATE BLONDIE, ALL THE HOMIES HATE BLONDIE. I'm so glad Blondie gets the reaction I want :'3 She's so fun to write because she's just pure evil im hhhhhjfhsdj YEAHHH THE BLOOD. GRIAN'S BLOOD. WHOOOO POWERUP. Of course Grian trusts Mumbo completely and totally <3 They're so in love 🥺

Mmm when it starts to set in you're not so Avian as you thought </3

I LOVE FERAL MUMBO I LOVE PROTECTIVE MUMBO I LOVE MUMBO HE DESERVES THE WORLD YASSSSS. God I love exploring Mumbo's shadow magic, it's just. So fun. I love. When you consider at the start of the story all he knew how to do was Shadow Walk, he's gotten SO GOOD with his magic and everyone is proud of him <3 hhhh. ALSO TUBBO YEAH. He was such a brave lad here <3 And indeed, Scar was NOT happy at all hehe

They're so dumb and overprotective and hypocritical and in love (and adore their son too) <3

ALSO THE PARALLEL TO MIDNIGHT MISUNDERSTANDING! Where Grian saw something incriminating (Scar "handing over" information to the purist) and jumped to the conclusion that Scar was actually working with them, but here he saw something incriminating (Scar owning the Watcher's Tome) and instead of assuming he's an Observant, takes what he knows about Scar and chooses to trust hima nd I'M SO ILL OVER THEM HHHAAAA-

YEEAAAHHHHHHHH I was grinning so hard like "I could. really fuck some folks up with this" AND. HIS FIRST TIME FLYING SINCE MIDNIGHT FOLLY AND IT'S THIS!! MMM I LOVE THEM. God, Blondie being a manipulator... and knowing she's playing them bc it's fun. "The world is a stage" and she wants entertainment I'm. HJDSJH.

THEY'RE SUCH A GOOD FATHER-SON DUO. They work so well together and there is undying unwavering trust and just ;-; they are Everything to me. Scar is such a papa wolf <3 That's HIS son ain't NO ONE gonna touch him <3 Hehehe :)

Tubbo deserved to yell a little, after being in between all of that smh 😔 BUT YEAH. THEY FINALLY TALK. Bare their pasts, reveal what has led them to be how they are now and. Mmmmm got, opening up like this... I am holding them gently. 🥺

That scene got away from me so bad but it was delightful I love them. These boys can fit so much trauma in them <3

hgdhjjgfd I need you to know I adore Midnight Scar, in the og doc he absolutely stole the show and I would die for him <3 God yeah.... I really put Scar through it. And the fact that he can't even deny, even knowing how it feels to have your own father die to save you, that he would do the same for Tubbo if it meant saving him I'm so so so 🥺 And Grian and Mumbo there to hold him and talk to him and tell him how loved he is I'mm HHHHHH

Mumbo was given such a heavy responsibility when he was so young, at least this time he's choosing this. And by god he's going to PROTECT it this time. He won't lose it 🥺 YEAH Scar being a history nerd (Fae collecting stories.... hehe) really came through this time <3 Him like "wait I already know about what he got up to in the Vampire world before going isolationist but this story sounds familiar lemme- oh yes these amazing people were absolutely him" and just. Showing Mumbo all the good he's put in the world, even if he felt like he didn't do enough...... previous ;-;

GRIAN LORE!!! Hehehe well that's an. interesting one. :)

HHHH thank you so much I WILL cry at you <3 I love worldbuilding so much ;w; I'm so happy you enjoy it!!! And that is high praise, I love magic systems so it makes me really happy to hear <3 Thank you so muchhhh 🥺

LMAO I love reading your essays even when they take me ages to respond to <3 (that's mainly bc I have limited free time but I absolutely love your essays do not worry <3) I love reading your rambles thank you for sharing them with me!!! <3 :) What angry mob :) There's no angry mob :) Whatever Belle has told you is a lie :)

[lucabyte]

leering

[beescake]

Are you an AraSol enthusiast. If you’re a Sollux fan you must be it’s impossible to enjoy him without also enjoying araSol. It comes with the xbox

HELL YEHA OFC I LOVE THEM

theyre so endgame 4 me

i also think they are the coolest characters in homestuck. nobody else on their level

[soracities]

—Maria Michela Sassi, "Can we hope to understand how the Greeks saw their world?" (pub. Aeon) [ID in ALT]

[babyleostuff]

brain fluff rot. cause red hair sulky baby cheol is on my brain.

you were working at home because its a saturday. so while you and cheol is at home. he decided to be clingy while you do your project at your computer. he would pout tho when you stop petting his hair. (so beware!)

- 🖼️

i love your brain so much, how do you always come up with the fluffiest and cutest ideas ever 🫠

okay, so finally the day has come - you and cheol are both at home, at the same time, together. he has a day off, doesn't need to worry about anything (except for if he should get up at 4 or 5 pm or maybe stay in bed for the whole day), and he has a whole day for you and kkuma with no schedules.

except you decide to be a responsible adult and do some work which is so??? hello, he's right there, half naked in bed, all warm, bulky and cuddly, and you still prefer to work on your project instead of cuddle him in your bed. this is unacceptable, and cheol does not tolerate this behaviour.

you don't have to be looking at him to know he's pouting, with his lower lip jutted out adorably (do i have to mention his big sparkly eyes, begging you to come back to bed?). and oh my god, why are you so stubborn? he's been looking at you like that for the past hour and you still don't pay him even an ounce of attention. and choi seungcheol, general leader of seventeen, age 29 needs attention. a lot of attention.

at this point his hands are itching to touch you, like he's practically screaming "PLEASE HOLD MY HAND, BABY". eventually, he somehow succeeded in persuading you to come to bed with your laptop, mumbling something about it being more comfortable than your chair (even though he himself bought that chair, the most expensive one, to make sure it would be very very very comfortable and good for your back).

the second he covers you with the blanket his head is on your chest, and arms are tightly wrapped around you (he won't let you get away for the next couple of hours) (the rest of the day probably), and as a cherry on top he places your hand on his head clearly signalising he wants his head pats.

and you do just that, a bit amused with you boyfriends neediness. nonetheless, you keep patting his head, and running your fingers through his red hair strands that have already began fading, and stroking his cheek, and running your thumb over his hand that is resting on your tummy. all that to make up for the audacity to leave him alone in bed.

dare to stop petting his hair, though, and you're met with a very very whiny choi seungcheol, who starts talking in pout how you have betrayed him, and that you don't love him anymore.

this man just wants to be babied, i don't care if he's a hard dom or whatever - CHOI SEUNGCHEOL IS A SULKY BABY.

EXHIBITS OF POUTY RED HAIRED CHEOLLIE:

[kinardsevan]

What is your opinion on Tommy coming back or not? And in they case we see him again, do you think it’ll be just for closure (ex: Abby in season 3) or maybe for a BuckTommy second chance?

fun fact: i was considering doing an entire breakdown with a bunch of Oliver's interviews from the start of this arc until now to point to my opinion:

Tommy is coming back. The romcom theme is still in effect, and we're only about midway through the 3rd act.

Long story short (and without sources right now), I think that the interviews were actuallly pointing in this direction with the wording for a hot second. We have OS telling us that he thinks the best relationships have a "will they, won't they" bit where the audience and the characters are pining. We've seen this play out on the show. And we also have to remember that Oli knew during this interview that the breakup was coming. We also have the interview (I believe it was the Decider one I linked last week) where he mentions choosing to fight for the relationship or not. I feel like a lot of people have taken the context of that and twisted it into "they didn't do it right away, so they're not going to". Except, there's ANOTHER quote of relevance, which is Oliver talking about how Buck's queerness isn't tied to Tommy or Eddie, and only to himself.

Obviously, there have been things said since 806 that would point towards me being delulu, except, here's the issue: TM, OS and LFJr are NOT going to tell us that Tommy is coming back if that's the intention. It would spoil the surprise of it all, and the win of it all. What fun is there in that? What TM has said is that Tommy is Buck's romantic past but that doesn't mean he won't turn up again in the future (all relevant and true facts which do not shut down a reconciliation). Lou never out-and-out said he was done with the show. He's said time and time again that he wants to come back. TM has mentioned Tommy coming around again. OS literally said in an interview "they may run into each other on scene and have it be awkward".

Now obviously we don't actually have the full story with how things went down and the show decided to go with splitting the boys up. I think the fact that Lou has called out the bullying but says he wants to come back suggests that it wasn't him saying it was too much. I have two theories that could honestly run concurrent with one another:

Evan and Tommy break up in 806 at the end of the episode. With 911 having 18 episode seasons, this quite literally only makes up the first third of the season. It set up the beginning of the year for us. We're now two episodes into the second part of the season with a pretty clear idea of where the next three will go and suggestions (by fans, nothing official) that the "soonest" we could see LFJr again is 812. This is reasonable, as it would be the end of the middle of the season. Knowing that TM has suggested he might do a multi-episode season finale, pushing LFJr back into the show in 812 (or even the end of 811 if we go with my theory that Eddie could possibly leave around this time and Tommy helps them pack up/his and Buck's first time spending time around each other again), there would still likely be something around this time period that would be around when they would open the doors to this. As it is, we know that 809 and 810 go together, and then we'd have 811 to really flesh out the end of Buck's fling. I think there's even more possibility of LFJr being in this episode as well because if the plan is to bring them back together (which everything has been suggested so far ON screen in terms of keeping Tommy "in" the story), three-episode arc gives us several things: a. it allows the show to make the point that Buck's queerness is not intrinsically attached to Tommy; that his interest in men is as equal as he know his interest in women is. b. it gives them the ability to also show that his feelings for Tommy are not based in Tommy being his "first", or Evan needing to "discover" more about himself. They're in love with each other, and the show has given us the pieces for that. LFJr has acknowledged it in an interview, Tommy loves Buck. We also know that Tommy's line to Evan is "you'd end up breaking my heart, and I don't think I could deal with that". When I hear that sentence, what I'm actually hearing is "I'm already in love with you, and if I let myself fall more in love with you by being with you every day all the time and this ends, I won't survive it". By relation, we have Josh ask Buck if he loves Tommy and Buck waffles, but I think this has more to do with his lack of understanding of what a healthy love is in a relationship, given his past relationships. He never got to tell Abby. Ali left. and saying I love you to Taylor wasn't about the core of actually being in love with her, which I think is another important piece for BuckTommy: they don't just love each other, they're in love with each other. Still, sometimes it's hard to quantify that feeling, and I think (as I've referenced before), for Evan it was easier to ask Tommy to share a living space with him than to share how he feels about him because historically, things haven't worked out well for him when he's been in love outwardly. Further, the questions Josh asks Evan are directly correlated with loving someone, and Evan answers yes to all of them. (I don't think I need to add this, but he also sees a future with Tommy, talks about being engaged or married. He's serious about Tommy in a way he never has been before.)

There's also the theory that the breakup happened because of scheduling conflicts. Now obviously the show could've found other ways to work around LFJr's scheduling issues by having Tommy go on a trip or what-have-you, but let's remember OTHER things that have been said by OS in prior interviews: a. back in June, he did an interview where he stated that he wanted and hoped that BuckTommy would go through issues that couples normally go through in their first year together. He wanted normal issues. This storyline IS normal. b. he didn't want to repeat Tarlos. By the very definition of what the show is doing right now, we're not. Tarlos and BuckTommy are their own things with their own reasonings.

One of the other things I also keep being pulled back to is these issues: first of all, we know how LFJr plays with the 911 demo, given that they got to see it last season. It's why he was written into more episodes after his initial four episode arc and brought back. ABC has also used BuckTommy in their own adverts, which suggests that they are very supportive of the relationship continuing because it draws in viewers. Truly giving that up for good feels like dousing yourself in gasoline and then considering striking a match. Second, people also keep calling out that TM only plans a few weeks in advance. I believe this is true with story beats. We know that the writers room has a general idea on character arcs, thanks to some of the discussion on the cheese page post-806. I really struggle to believe that TM didn't know going into going forward with the breakup whether or not he wanted to bring LFJr back. We know he waffled back and forth on the idea of the breakup, meaning he probably had other solutions on his mind for whatever LFJr's schedule needed adjusting for, and this is what he decided on. Also, even if 8b hasn't been broken down yet (we know it hasn't), they would still know at this point what they do or don't want, what their ideas might be. Solidification for why Tommy should be brought back is directly shown in the reaction by the GA and the fandom to the breakup. They may not know exactly how that reunion happens yet, but what they have suggested is that Buck's new relationship will be short-lived. That he's using it to cope. We also know he's still processing the break-up and still misses Tommy. These are all things that point to the story not being over. Plus, I feel (once again), if the story really was over and they didn't have plans to continue this in 8b, LFJr wouldn't be talking about wanting to go back. It be far more "yeah that sucked, but it's over now and what can you do? I'm off to this new show and I'll never be back." (I've commented also on the fact that the fangirlish interview comment about his "i'm going here, doing this, have some opportunities" statement is very run-of-the-mill. Obvs I could mean something. Or it could literally just be a canned answer.) (This might feel a little off-center, but I think his commentary on trusting TM and knowing what he's doing in one of his post-806 interviews directly suggests that he believes the story is going to be handled properly.)

I realize at the end of the day, all of what I'm piecing together could mean zilch and Tommy could possibly never come back. They could truly just drop the story and never circle back around, set fire to a beautiful arc and lose thousands (possibly millions) of viewers. I've certainly suggested myself being one of them. But I don't see BuckTommy only getting an Abby fix for two reasons. LFJr wants to come back and continue the story, and Connie Britton only ever intended to do one season. Also, the fling has been called out as being planned to be short-lived. Why bother mentioning that if you don't have other plans for the story.

The last thing I'll leave you with is my commentary from the interview Oli and Aisha did with the guy from Chicago. That reporter obviously liked the BuckTommy storyline and said he's choosing to believe that the relationship is paused, not over. By relation, we had Oliver say three things: (1 and 2) Buck is still looking for love, both in himself and with another person. (3)The season is only half over. Circle that back to 806-808. Buck is finding love in himself by dealing with it in a healthy way (so far) with the baking. We've also seen the "cracks" Oli mentioned with his continued urge to want to text Tommy, as well as him fighting it off by baking (referencing the "pendulum swinging"). Looking for love in others will likely be this arc where he tries to deal/move on. I feel like we collectively watched the end of 806, and then 807 and 808 yelling at the TV "you're in love with him, piece it together already!" (or maybe that was just me???). But truly, whether it's a fling, his therapist, or Bobby/Maddie/Eddie who finally spells it out of or him, I think there will be a point at which we see that come to fruition. The seeds were sewn in for it in the scene with Josh. Now it's just about watching those seeds sprout.

Final note: we've had a good run up to this point with these two. Did we truly thing that the honeymoon phase would last forever? (I didn't. Conflict and the pink bubble popping have to happen eventually.) If we really want to suggest that what BuckTommy has is real, they have to go through this and come out the other side. I think everyone is justifiably frustrated due to the 4 month wait on new episodes (I personally would not have left people hanging quite like this, but that's just me), but the narrative does lead us toward what the show is doing with the suggestion that it does have a natural (and good) conclusion. (Possibly with a helicopter/truck/jeep crash?!)

And just as my singularly LAST note, here's my other thing: Evan and Tommy both have abandonment issues. (Tommy's are clear based on the break up and we know Buck's.) By that correlation, when these two finally get back together, they're never going to fucking let the other go.

(This was so much longer than I intended it to be, but that's my answer 😂😂😂😂😂😂)

[unteriors]

Since you're Australian, why are so many of the posts from the US? Did you start with Australia and then move onto other countries once you'd felt like you exhausted it? Or is the US particularly interesting for your purposes?

A big part of the reason is the enormous difference in scale. Australia has about 25 million people, versus 300 or so million in the US. Each of the 50 states has at least one or two major cities, most have many more than that. In addition to the volume of real estate imagery produced by this market, there are a few things about the US in this context which draw me in from an Australian perspective. One is how real estate listings weirdly embody how much more visually apparent the harmful economic forces of the past 50 years are in American society than they are here or elsewhere. Australia's welfare state was developed roughly during the same time as in the US, and has similarly been cut back since the 1970s. But it was always much weaker in the US than in Australia or Western Europe, and correspondingly the effects of its deterioration - along with other economic trends - have been much more visible than they are here. The way this is played out in terms of localised funding for public services means that many American cities have pockets (of varying sizes) where poverty and other forms of systemic oppression are concentrated and left open to the elements. The sort of stuff Jacob Holdt documented in his photos in the 70s, or that you see in a lot crime films and thrillers with location shooting. Gentrification and other forces since then have pushed these pockets into other areas and made some places seem less grim, but from what I've heard it seems like it would be hard for the average person in the US to ignore that these large, systemic problems exist. Conversely, in Australia, this kind of intense poverty has been pushed into the margins of society during the same time period - to remote communities (where people suffer from chronic diseases that have been eradicated in most other wealthy countries), country towns with shrinking economies, or to the fringes of larger cities (where people sleep in their cars in parking lots, or multiple families form sharehouses to afford $400-500+ pw rents). Though as things have gotten worse, particularly since COVID, it's getting harder to ignore. But still there's a substantial part of the population here who have grown up in ignorance of any of the larger, percolating structural problems in Australian society, and who proactively retain that ignorance into adulthood.

I think you can see these different perspectives play in out in real estate listings. In most American states, even in most of the towns I've looked at, you can see a broad spectrum of living conditions (and commercial interpretations of ideal living conditions) - from burnt out trailers, to overpriced renovated shitty older houses with cheap grey vinyl flooring and white walls, to clearly lived-in time capsules to McMansions to actual mansions. Some photographs are clearly shot by owners, others by real estate agents with a great variety of care and attention to detail (from elaborate staging to crime scenes). Rightly or wrongly, I feel like I get a broader, more honest (or at least more direct) feel for the housing crisis. It's a more honest horror film.

Australian listings, I think in part due to concentrations in corporate power in the real estate industry (similar to other monopolies that have formed in our economy), tend to more heavily adhere to the visual language of advertising and are more heavily regulated by agencies. The problems still exist, the housing market here is among the worst in the world and little effort is being made to address the underlying structural issues, but you can see the lack of will to acknowledge these issues in the level of gloss that's applied. You can look at a listing of an older house in Western Australia, for instance, and know for a fact that it's riddled with asbestos and probably has several other structural issues, but most likely enough time and effort will have been spent on staging and lighting and maybe surface-level renovations that it will seem otherwise fine. Lots of turds that have been polished successfully enough that you need insider knowledge to properly identify them as dogshit. Incidentally, I spent part of my childhood in a house built in the 1960s that had asbestos in the walls and ceiling.

I'm still interested in images from Australian listings (and other sources) though, I just look for other things that are interesting. Anything that runs contrary to the artificially positive, limited world view that advertising promotes. Even if its a poorly-lit time capsule that is directly aesthetically opposite to the ideal of house-beauty at the moment, or an obviously run-down house that has had every realtor photography trick in the playbook thrown at it until it becomes deeply uncanny. And it's always interesting to see what other people find interesting; I genuinely think the housing crisis underwrites every other political issue we have to contend with, its tendrils extend in many different directions, and I think this also means imagery like this can reach people in a diversity of ways. Aesthetically, nostalgically, inspiring fear and self-loathing and horror. All good sources of inspiration for creativity.

[lycandrophile]

Songs sung in T voices? You mean just regular male voices because trans men are men

imagine being so miserable that you see a post about trans joy and pride in transmasculinity and the first thing you think is “i’m going to find a way to see this as transphobia instead”.

i have a t voice. my voice is distinctly different from most cis men’s voices in a way that a lot of other trans people’s voices are distinctly different after being on t. a lot of us have voices with a unique quality to them. the claim that me, a trans man with a t voice, talking about voices like mine somehow implies that my own gender isn’t real…is just fucking wild, honestly.

i think t voices are BEAUTIFUL. i love them so much, having my own voice sound like that was genuinely one of the things i was the most excited about when i started t because to me, that voice is the kind i heard when i watched videos made by other trans guys that taught me about what was possible for me and met other trans guys irl for the first time and got advice on transitioning or just life from them. it’s such a comforting sound and so important to me.

nothing about recognizing that distinctive quality implies that trans men aren’t real men. i have a t voice just like i have a deep voice, a quiet voice, a tonally expressive voice — it’s just a descriptor for one of many things that can make a voice unique. my voice is a “male voice” and it’s also a t voice because i’m a man whose voice has been affected by going on t in a distinctive way. the two aren’t in any way at odds with each other.

if i described my chest as a post-op chest, would you come into my inbox saying “you mean just a regular male chest?” i have a feeling you probably wouldn’t because on some level, even you get that talking about unique parts of living in a trans body doesn’t invalidate who we are. it’s fine if you personally wouldn’t want to describe your voice that way because it makes you dysphoric or isn’t applicable to your voice or isn’t as meaningful to you, but that doesn’t mean it’s morally incorrect for me to do so.

trans bodies are wonderful. visible (or in this case, audible) transness is wonderful. it’s not a bad thing to have features that are distinctively trans, and having those features doesn’t make you less of a man. we don’t have to reject our transness or be exactly like cis men to be real men because cis manhood isn’t the gold standard, it’s just one of many ways to be a man.

(also, not everyone who goes on t is a trans man, so not every t voice is a male voice. it’s funny how the people who get mad at me for being proud of my t voice are always the same ones who have really gender essentialist and binaristic views on transitioning.)

so no, i don’t mean “regular male voices”, i mean fucking t voices because that was a post about unashamed in-your-face proud transmasculinity, not transmasculinity that tries to make itself indistinguishable from cis manhood. please keep your assimilationist bullshit away from my trans joy, thank you very much.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi Cas!

I’m Essay anon (it’s been a while and this is a VERY different type of ask)

So I’m genderfluid (and a lesbian but this is about my gender), and I recently came out to my parents.

They’re very supportive and have been since before I came out to them as bi (a few years ago).

However, now that I’ve realized that I’m genderfluid I’ve wanted to talk to them about getting a binder.

I told myself I’d do it over a long weekend we had off of school but that was around a month ago and I keep getting anxious whenever I think about actually doing it.

There are two things that I keep coming back to (one that you can help with more than the other).

One: is it okay for me to get a binder even though I’m genderfluid and not trans?

Two: I can’t shake the feeling that they still only see me as a girl (I’m AFAB), and this will make it “real” to them and I’ll have to have a weird conversation with them about it

I know this was a long rant so if you end up answering this: thank you so much <3

Hi!

Well for your first question: I'm nonbinary and genderfluid and I identify as trans! You don't have to identify as trans if you're genderfluid, and many people don't-all identities are you own personal choice. Just to me, trans means identifying as a different gender than the one assigned at birth so since I no longer identify as my AGAB and I often present in ways that push gender norms, I feel like that term applies to me. But even if you don't identify as trans, there's no rules for who can and cannot use a binder (besides medical rules). If you want to use one, and it's okay for you health-wise, then you should!

As far as talking to your parents, that's something you have to decide on. Remember that they may have questions, and that's not a rejection, it's just them trying to understand. But only you can decide if that conversation is something you're ready for, you know?

[f0rtuned]

Inbox: 3/5

Requests: Closed!

(Read the request etiquette before sending a request)

What I do

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Character outfits (Closed)

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Want something not listed? just ask, and i might do it!

Dni

Basic dni, transmed, misogynists, detrans kinks, any kink accounts of any sort, dark/immoral-ships, bullies, jerks in general, anti multispec gays/lesbians, gender/sexuality police, etc

About the blog

You can refer to us as Mangle, Foxy, or The Rot (note, The Rot is a separate part of us (kind of like an alter, but not actually an alter.) so if you refer to her she'll be the one replying

I instinctively tag things as kins, so if you dont want that please let me know!

i will NOT do extreme gore or any graphic content involving veins or eyes

in your requests please give me a theme you want me to do

i am not taking mod applications

We love getting promo requests

If we're an anon on your blog, we use the signoff "Capt. Mangle" (note: if we dont reblog/like what you made for us, we probably didnt see it! for some reason our tumblr doesnt give us notifications when we go on anon.)

Sometimes we refer to ourself using we/us/ours, but this blog is ran by one person

We have trouble doing comfycore or any emotion (hope, sadness, happiness, etc), so if you want that we reccomend going to another blog, but we can do our best!

Follow my main, @strzbzr

Anon list + how to become an anon + whitelist and blacklist + about the blog owner under the cut

Anon list

🐊 Anon, 🛡️ Anon, 🧺🎞️ Anon, essay anon, 🌈🎀 anon, 🐀🕸️ Anon, 🦝🎸/🍥🦴 Anon, Infected Anon, Spook anon, Chat/Vex anon, Mx. Nibbly anon

(did you ask to be an anon or use your signoff and youre not on this list? let us know! we'll fix it asap)

How to become an anon

all you have to do is use your signoff or ask me! the signoff can be letters, words, or emojis! as long as it isnt either taken by someone already or offensive/problematic, you can use it!

Whitelist (note: you can request other fandoms! these are just fandoms i know well / or arent commonly accepted on these types of blogs!)

(note no.2: I DO NOT WANT DISCOURSE HERE. the reason i allow problematic sources is to provide a safe space for everyone and accommodate for as many people as im comfortable with. If you try to start any discourse with me, you will be blocked.)

❤️ = favorites to do, 🩷 = ones we like to do, 🧡 = neutral, 🖤= fandoms we arent in/dont know anything about but still accept

Fandoms commonly accepted

Fnaf 🩷

Your turn to die 🩷

Oddities Roleplay / Minecraft Fnaf Roleplay ❤️

Welcome Home 🧡

The amazing digital circus 🧡

Danganronpa (games) 🧡

Danganronpa (anime) 🖤

Sonic 🧡

Springtrap and Mangle / S.A.M (Au by Quiettomato) ❤️

Slice of life (Fnaf au) 🧡

Regretevator ❤️

DDLC 🖤

Cookie run kingdom 🖤

Invader zim🖤

And some others I might have forgotten! (more on the carrd)

Fandoms commonly not accepted (please note that i do not support most of these!)

Boyfriend to Death 🩷 8:11 ❤️

Nekopara (NOTE: im only willing to do the characters who look like adults, the ones that look like kids give me the ick, sorry) 🖤

Dream smp / any smp in general 🖤

Most games with ns/fw (as long as the request is sfw)

The coffin of Andy and Leyley 🖤

Super Sonico 🧡

You and me and her 🧡

Blacklist

Alfreds Playhouse

Monster high (personal reasons)

Fandoms that entirely revolve around something super bad (not sure what counts? just ask me!)

About the blog owner

Our fictkins: The Mangle, Amy Rose, Streber (Spooky month), Pest (Regretevator), Beetle (8:11)

Our irls: Ryker Dublin, Sara Chidouin, Funtime Foxy (tor)

Kinsidering: Empty!

Our traumakin: Shin Tsukimki

Our regression kin: Ruby gloom

Our pronouns: bug/she/it/him/they/xe/exe/nyan

Our sexuality: Gay, multispec (quoigender), Polyam, demisexual

[sst4rdst]

can I request yan! Xiao fighting his urges to literally *eat* his darling because he loves them so much? Sorry cannibalism is just such a good metaphor for obsession

warnings : yandere themes, unhealthy relationships, implied kidnapping, cannibalism thoughts, xiao's karmic debt, force-feeding, xiao's getting progressively more deranged, long fic sorry (almost 5k words). author's note : ok anon ngl i think you unlocked smth in my brain that instantly made me spend my whole night writing this in one go 💀 but i agree! i think there's so much potential for yan xiao + his karmic debt, paired with his obsession and lack of experience with human relationships, like uuuuuuuugh i don't think i perfectly explained my thoughts here nor did i delve into things i wanted to, even though this one is huge 😭

the pain is getting worse.

it gnaws at the marrow of his bones, threads itself through every breath, coils around his ribs and squeezes. a weight, unbearable and inescapable. he knows this suffering like an old friend, but lately, it has been changing.

there is another hunger buried beneath the agony. one that does not belong to the stains of karmic debt, that cannot be blamed on the sins of his past. it is sharper. more unbearable. and it has a name. you.

he doesn’t know when it began. perhaps it was the first time you spoke his name without fear. or the first time your fingers brushed his wrist in passing, leaving warmth where he has only known cold. perhaps it was always there, waiting, lurking, festering beneath his skin like a sickness that only worsens with time.

he tells himself to stay away. he tells himself that this is dangerous. that you should not be near something like him—something broken, something cursed. but then night falls, and the pain becomes unbearable, and the only thing that soothes the madness clawing at his mind is the thought of you. so he watches.

at first, it was only from a distance. ensuring your safety, eliminating any threats before they could ever reach you. but soon, he found himself lingering, his body rooted in place even after the danger had passed. listening to the soft rhythm of your breath as you slept, tracing the shape of your silhouette through the blankets covering your body.

then came the dreams. the things his mind conjured in the quiet moments when he was weak. your voice, breathless against his ear. the warmth of your body caged beneath his own. the way you would say his name if he let himself have you, if he let himself take—

xiao wakes with his hand wrapped tight around his weapon, panting, aching, trembling with a need that is not his own. the weight of karmic debt should make him sick. should remind him that this is not something he is meant to have, that this is not something he deserves. and yet—he is growing greedy.

each time he sees you, it becomes harder to resist. the space between you is unbearable. he hates the mortals who take your attention, hates the way they steal your laughter, your smiles, your time. he hates that they can be close to you while he must remain in the shadows, watching, waiting, suffering. but he could change that. all he would have to do is take you, in every way possible.

it is an intrusive thought, one that should repulse him, one that should make him recoil in horror. but it doesn’t. it settles in his chest, makes a home in his mind, whispers to him when he watches you from the rooftop of wangshu inn. it is not fear that curls in his gut when he thinks of you in his arms. it is something else. something darker. his hands flex at his sides, aching to touch.

would you scream if he took you? would you hate him? or would you understand that this is the only way? that he has spent too long suffering, too long resisting? that he cannot fight this anymore?

his vision pulses at the thought, and something inside him snaps. the pain of his karmic debt no longer matters. the only thing that matters is you. and xiao is done waiting.

tonight, he is weaker than before. his self-control frays, unraveling thread by thread. the karmic debt surges, blackening his vision, poisoning his thoughts, and suddenly, standing outside is not enough. he needs to be closer. needs to see you, feel you, know that you are real beneath his hands.

he moves before he can stop himself.

the window slides open without a sound. he slips inside, barely more than a shadow in the dark. the room is filled with your scent—warm, comforting, intoxicating. his head spins. he shouldn’t be here. he shouldn’t—his knees press against the edge of your bed.

you shift slightly in your sleep, your face peaceful, oblivious. he clenches his fists. he should leave. he should go before he does something unforgivable.

but then you sigh, so calm, so softly, so clueless of the man so close to you. he cannot take this anymore. his fingers brush against your skin, trembling. you are so warm, so fragile. he could break you so easily. but he won’t. he would never. he only wants to keep you safe. he only wants to keep you his.

when you wake, it is not in your bed. the room is unfamiliar—dimly lit, silent save for the soft rustle of fabric. the air smells of incense, of something old and unchanging. your limbs feel heavy, mind sluggish as reality settles in. you are not alone.

a figure sits in the corner, watching. gold eyes gleam in the low light, unblinking, unreadable. but you know who they belong to. xiao.

your breath catches. your pulse pounds against your ribs, but he does not move. he only watches, his expression unreadable, his gaze heavy with something dark, something you cannot name. “where—” your voice cracks. you swallow hard, trying again. “where am i?”

xiao exhales, slow and measured. “safe.”

you push yourself upright, the sheets slipping from your shoulders, and his gaze flickers—lower, then back to your face. his fingers twitch against his thighs. there is something restrained about him, something barely held back.

“this isn’t—” you shake your head, fear creeping into your voice. “xiao, i need to go home.”

his jaw tightens. the silence stretches, suffocating. then, finally, he speaks. “you are home.”

his words settle over you like a cage. you do not understand the depths of his obsession. not yet. but you will. you have always belonged to him.

the today turned into tomorrow, and tomorrow turned into an endless amount of time. the sky never changes, the silence stretching endlessly. you do not know how long you’ve been trapped in xiao’s adeptal realm—only that the outside world has long since faded into something distant, something unreachable.

although, ever since your first time here, your ‘relationship’ with xiao hasn’t improved that much. if anything, it festers. a good thing for you, a nightmare for xiao. he does not speak much, does not touch you, save the times he made you eat something—you tried one time not to eat for a whole day, but it just ended with him shoving the spoon with food inside your mouth—or when you need to go to the bathroom, these are the only times he allows himself close to you.

lately, something has changed. his restraint is fraying, his control slipping in ways he cannot seem to stop. you first noticed it when he started lingering too long, his eyes darker, the space between you shrinking. and then, the baths began.

he does not look at you when he lowers himself into the water, his movements precise, controlled—painfully so. his skin is flushed, his breath slow and deliberate. his hands remain at his sides, as if holding himself back takes every ounce of his strength. he has not touched you. not yet.

but you can feel it. the way his restraint wavers, the way his hunger coils beneath the surface. it is only a matter of time.

the water ripples around him, faint waves licking against his skin, but his focus is elsewhere.

your bare shoulders glisten under the soft light, droplets tracing slow, winding paths down your skin. he does not look, but he feels it—feels your warmth in the space between you, in the air thick with steam and something unspoken, something dangerous.

this is wrong. and yet, he does not move away.

you shift, stretching out your legs, and the movement sends a ripple through the water, lapping against his arms. xiao inhales sharply, his muscles coiling so tightly it hurts. his nails bite into his palms.

his gaze secretly roamed your form, almost unnoticeable, except that you could feel the weight of his eyes. xiao notices the beauty marks and moles you have splattered on your body, memorizes every curve, and how soft your skin looks.

there is no explanation that does not expose the sickness festering inside him, the unbearable hunger clawing at his control, poisoning his thoughts with something possessive, something selfish.

softly, so softly it nearly drowns beneath the lapping water—you murmur, “are you going to hurt me?”

a sharp exhale. his head snaps up, gold eyes burning into yours, something dark and unreadable churning beneath the surface. his throat tightens. hurt you?

the thought alone is enough to twist his stomach, to make his grip on reality splinter at the edges. he could never. he would sooner rip himself apart than let harm come to you. and yet—his restraint is breaking.

he has been careful, has done everything in his power to keep his distance, to silence the thoughts that make him weak, the desires that make him unbearable. but every day, it gets harder. every second spent in your presence tightens the noose around his throat, suffocating, inescapable.

it should not be like this. you should not be here. but you are. and he is unraveling.

“no.” the word is hoarse, choked, ripped from his throat like it pains him. he swallows hard, shaking his head. “never.”

your gaze lingers on him, cautious, unreadable. he can see it—the war waging in your mind, the uncertainty, the way your body remains tense despite his answer. it wounds him more than it should. but more, because deep down, he knew he would, it was just a matter of time. he does not know how to fix this, how to fix him.

but he knows one thing. he cannot let you go. not when he has already come this far. not when the thought of losing you feels like something far worse than death.

lately, xiao has been feeling strange. his karmic debt has never been this bad, but the way he craves you—physically, carnally—has deeply worst. being close is not enough, touching you is not enough, he needs to crawl under your skin, needs to turn into an amalgamate with you, know how every muscle of your body is, how the pressure of your blood feels, how strong it is, and worst of all—how you taste.

he doesn’t know why, it just feels right. he wants you, of course he wants you, but maybe he’s wanting in ways that are not usual. but he doesn’t want to hurt you, he would never forgive himself, and yet, forgiveness has never been meant for him.

xiao's fingers twitch at his sides, his breath barely steady, shallow, like something inside him is fracturing at the seams. you sit across from him, your back turned, your shoulders drawn in. your perfectly shaped shoulders, the trapezius and deltoid contouring it, with the fat placed just right. 

if he bites you there, would you punch him? how would you scream? how loud would you scream? and if he bites you hard enough to bleed, how much blood would you lose?

of course, a bite wouldn’t kill you from hemorrhage, xiao’s aware of that, but the thought of biting you, and tasting the droplets of blood that eventually would leak off it, the unmistakable metallic taste, how good is it? maybe, just maybe, would it be sweetly metallic? or the usual bitterness? he thinks you’re oh so sweet, even your blood might be sweetened.

he shakes his head, placing a had on it. he should leave. he should force himself to step out, to put space between you before he does something unforgivable.

but he doesn't. he stays, barely breathing, barely thinking cohesive—only feeling. his skin burns, his throat dry, his restraint a fragile, splintering thing that no longer listens to reason. he wants. he wants too much.

his fingers curl against his palms, nails biting into flesh, but the pain does nothing to ground him. not when the scenarios in his head cloud his senses, thick and dizzying, not when his mind is drowning in images of how you would feel, how you would sound, how you would break beneath him—

he exhales, ragged, sharp, almost pained. you stiffen. he sees it, even without looking. you do not turn around, do not speak. but your body betrays you. you know somethings off with him.

xiao has fought monsters for centuries, has slaughtered creatures beyond mortal comprehension, yet nothing—nothing—has ever terrified him as much as this.

this hunger. this sickness. this unbearable, wretched need that festers inside him, rotting him from the inside out. he cannot let it consume him. not when you are here.

not when the line between protection and destruction is already so blurred, so close to breaking.

but you turn to face him, lips parted, eyes wary, trying to scan his true intentions, the rotten portrayals of his sins inside his brain.

“xiao.” your voice is quiet, uncertain. but your gaze does not waver. “what’s wrong with you?”

everything. everything is wrong. and for the first time in his life, he is powerless to stop it. he wants to touch you. he wants to devour you, in every way the word means.

his hand slowly reaches in your direction, but it stops.

suspended. trembling. the space between you is unbearably small, a breath away from something irreversible. his fingers hover near yours, uncertain, unwilling—afraid. you don’t move. you don’t pull back. you don’t flinch, even as something in xiao’s expression twists into something ugly, something not meant for the daylight.

why aren’t you afraid?

his stomach coils at the thought, sick and tight. does he want you to fear him? no. no, he doesn’t. he is meant to protect you, to keep you safe. but then, why does it feel like he’s standing at the edge of a precipice, waiting for you to fall? why does he feel like a predator, waiting—starving—for him to come closer to you? the thought alone should be enough to disgust him, to send him fleeing, but it doesn’t. it only makes his fingers twitch, makes his breathing turn shallow and sharp, makes him crave something deeper, something worse.

his hand moves before he can stop it, the backs of his knuckles grazing against the soft flesh of your skin, the smallest, most insignificant touch—yet it feels like it burns, feels like it will tear him apart. his entire body is wound too tight, his restraint splintering under its own weight. he should pull away. he should force himself to turn, leave, run. but he fails at it, his desires speaking louder than the logic.

his hand wanders a little to the side, his thumb brushing your lips, your perfectly sculptured lips. it’s nothing, just a touch, just the briefest contact, but it is everything to him.

his breath came out in ragged, uneven gasps. his mind is reeling, his thoughts tangled, torn between two opposing forces—stay, leave, take, run, devour, protect. the contradiction rips him apart, and his body screams at him for retreating, for moving away from you when every fiber of his being is telling him to close the space, to pull instead of push, to take instead of deny.

"xiao—"

your voice is soft, uncertain, laced with something that makes his stomach twist tighter. it’s concern. you are concerned for him. you shouldn’t be.

his head jerks up, his breath heaving, his entire frame coiled with tension. he knows what he must look like—wild, frenzied, something barely holding itself together. but still, you do not back away. you do not cower. is it because you’re scared? or you are trying to understand him?

understanding. yes, of course you are trying to understand him. you’ve been together for so long, of course you would be wanting to get to know him someday! the realization makes something in xiao snap.

his entire body is trembling, he can hear his own heartbeat—loud, deafening, hammering against his ribs like it wants to break free. and here you are. close. unmoving. searching his face for answers he doesn’t have the strength to give.

your fingers curl slightly at your sides, your lips part as if to say something, but no words come out. you’re watching him, observing him, waiting for him, and he doesn’t understand why. don’t you see what he is? don’t you understand what he could do to you?

his teeth clench. he can taste copper on his tongue—his own blood, from where he must have bitten too hard. but it isn’t enough. the pain isn’t enough. nothing is enough.

you shift your weight, adjusting your stance ever so slightly, and it takes every ounce of strength in xiao’s body to not react. his entire body is taut, stiff, coiled with a tension that has nowhere to go.

his breathing is erratic, his vision sharp, focused on you—your throat, your wrists, the way the pulse flutters just beneath your skin. his mind is a mess of static, of conflicting impulses, of thoughts he does not want to acknowledge, but cannot suppress.

he needs to leave. he needs to leave.

his body moves before his mind catches up. a blur of motion—sudden, forceful, instinct-driven. he is there in an instant, too fast for you to react, too overwhelming to resist. one hand grips your shoulder, the other pressing against the small of your back, pinning you in place.

a startled gasp escapes you, sharp and quick, but it’s lost beneath the sound of his own breathing, ragged and uneven against your ear. he doesn’t know what he’s doing. he doesn’t care what he’s doing.

you are close. too close. and yet, it isn’t close enough.

his lips ghost over your shoulder, breath searing hot against your skin. he can feel the rapid rise and fall of your chest, the way your body tenses under his touch. but you don’t fight him. you don’t struggle, maybe out of fear, but to xiao’s own sake, to him is because you accept him—just like he accepts you. and that is what dooms you both.

his jaw tightens, his grip turning almost bruising, and before he can stop himself—he bites.

his teeth sink into flesh, sharp and unrelenting, breaking through skin with a force that is too much, too deep, too wrong. he tastes it instantly—warm, metallic, unmistakably you. and gods—

his body seizes, a shudder rolling through him so intense it nearly forces him to his knees. his mind is blank, lost in the sensation, drowning in it. the taste of you, the way you scream, the way you tremble against him—it is intoxicating, overwhelming, unbearable.

you jerk in his grasp, a sharp inhale cutting through the air. he should stop. he knows that. but he doesn’t. his grip tightens, holding you firm, and he bites down harder—not enough to maim, but enough to hurt. enough to leave a mark. enough to the blood coming out of it to feed his fantasies.

your name leaves his lips in a breathless, wrecked sound, half a whisper, half a growl. his tongue swipes over the broken skin, over the crimson staining your shoulder, and the taste alone makes his head swim, his senses spiral, his restraint—his fragile, delicate restraint—crumble into dust.

he does not move away. he does not apologize. he cannot. because for the first time in his existence, xiao feels alive.

your shoulders bear the evidence of him now—biting scars, faint but unmistakable, the imprint of desperation and indulgence carved into your skin.

he doesn’t do it often, doesn’t let himself, doesn’t trust himself to have that kind of control. but there are nights when the weight of his karmic debt is suffocating, pressing down on him so violently that even you can feel it, a phantom ache that coils around your chest like chains, constricting, unyielding.

those are the nights when he clings to you, trembling hands gripping your arms, his breathing erratic against the crook of your neck, his body a raw, frenzied thing barely holding itself together. and those are the nights when you already know—when you steel yourself for the inevitable, when you brace for the sting of his teeth sinking into your flesh, a sharp, burning pressure that lingers for days, the kind of pain that dulls into something bittersweet.

you don’t stop him. you never do. because no matter how deep he bites, no matter how his lips tremble against your skin before he pulls away, looking utterly wrecked in the aftermath, you’re still afraid, especially now. he doesn’t look sane enough to even dare try to stop him, scared of how he might react.

he always looks the same when he gazes at you afterward—eyes wide, glassy with guilt, hands hesitant as if he has no right to touch you anymore—when he whispers i’m sorry in a voice so fragile you barely hear it, you realize, not for the first time, that xiao’s pain has never been his alone to bear.

it used to be enough—the fleeting touches, the stolen bites, the taste of your skin lingering on his tongue, copper-tinged and searing. but lately, it is no longer enough. nothing is enough. xiao has always been ruled by hunger, by suffering, by the insurmountable weight of his karmic debt pressing into him like a blade to the throat. he was prepared for a lifetime of torment, for an existence of nothing but pain. but this is something different. this is not suffering. it is yearning. and it is unbearable.

it’s not as simple as ‘go, take a bite, taste the blood, and leave’ anymore, it’s more profound, more fleshlily. the curiosity about what’s inside your body getting worse, just like his obsession with you.

with how perfect you are to him, would your organs hold up to it? or something simpler: how would your skin layers be? he doesn’t question himself these questions because he’s a crazy person, no, he just loves you oh so much that he wants, needs, to know every inch of your body—from the top of your toes to the last hair strand, from the inside to the outside, from the start of his breath to the last of his sigh.

xiao knows this is wrong. he knows the way his thoughts twist and turn, the way his desires coil into something sickly and insatiable, is not normal. not human. but then again, he has never been human, never been meant for something as soft as love, as indulgent as touch. and yet, you have carved a space for yourself inside him, an intrusion so profound that his very being has begun to warp around it, around you.

he watches you when you sleep. he is not proud of it, but shame has long lost its meaning in the face of his obsession. you are so still, so peaceful, oblivious to the way he hovers over you, gaze tracing the slope of your shoulders, the soft rise and fall of your chest. he has memorized you from the outside—every curve, every scar, every place he has touched and marked. but it is not enough. he wants to know more. he needs to. the thought slithers through him like a curse, quiet but insistent, embedding itself in the marrow of his bones.

how deep does your warmth go? how much of your flesh would yield under his hands? would the softness give way to something firmer beneath? muscle? tendon? bone? would the color of your insides be as beautiful as your exterior? would your heart stutter beneath his palm if he pressed down, if he held you too tight, if he—

his fingers twitch at the thought, and he forces himself to take a breath, sharp and uneven. no. he cannot think like this. he cannot. he has spent centuries fighting the urge to destroy, to ravage, to tear things apart before they can be torn from him. you are not his to ruin. and yet, even as he tells himself this, his gaze remains fixed on you.

you shift slightly in your sleep, the movement small, unconscious. your head tilts just enough to expose more of your shoulder, the same shoulder that bears the scars of his previous indulgences, the ghost of his teeth still faintly visible even now. his breath hitches. he shouldn’t. he knows he shouldn’t. but when has he ever been able to resist you?

before he even realizes he’s moving, his lips are against your skin, barely a whisper of contact. he tells himself it is just this—just a touch, just a stolen moment, just something to take the edge off the insatiable hunger gnawing at his insides. but it is never just this. his mouth parts, his breath shaky as he presses a kiss against the mark he left last time, against the proof of his weakness. and then—before reason can stop him, before guilt can drag him away—his teeth sink in.

your body jerks instantly, a sharp inhale escaping you, but his hands are already on you, one curling around your wrist, the other pressing against your waist, keeping you still. the taste of you floods his senses, metallic and searing, the warmth of your blood pooling against his tongue. the sensation is dizzying, heady, makes his fingers tighten against your skin, makes his nails dig in a little too hard, makes his body tremble with something he cannot name.

are there any remains of your skin cells in his teeth now?

you whimper. the sound spears through him like a blade, striking something raw and vulnerable, and he pulls away as if burned. his lips part from your skin, and the sight of it—the fresh imprint of his teeth, the way your blood beads at the edges—destroys him. his chest heaves, his vision blurs, and the moment the realization of what he’s done settles in, he wants to vanish. to disappear into the night, to never face the horror in your eyes when you fully wake and understand.

but he cannot move. his body betrays him, keeps him frozen, his fingers still pressed against you, as if some part of him believes he can mend what he has broken just by holding on. and then—just as he knew it would—you stir, your breath uneven, your voice barely above a whisper.

“xiao…?”

it is his undoing, all of this is his undoing. the strength in his fingers bleeds away, as if drained by the weight of his own guilt, leaving nothing but the fragile tremor in his hands as he pulls back. he cannot bring himself to move any farther. his body feels heavy, leaden, as if bound by invisible chains, and the only thing he can do is lower himself onto the edge of your bed, hands braced against his knees, head bowed, shoulders drawn tight with the unbearable pressure of what he has done.

"leave the bedroom." it comes out hoarse, barely above a whisper. his own body betrays him, his entire form leaning forward despite his own command, as if something deep inside him is begging—please, don’t leave, don’t hate me.

but you must. if you don’t, if you linger even a second longer, if you keep looking at him like that, he will do something unforgivable.

he clenches his fists so tightly his nails bite into his palms, but the pain does nothing to ground him. if he speaks, the words will come out wrong. they will come out hungry. they will come out like the sickness that festers inside him, rotting, spreading, unstoppable.

your brows knit together, lips parting, hesitation evident on your face. but then, you nod. and you step away.

xiao does not move. his body remains frozen in place, his chest rising and falling in uneven breaths as he watches you turn toward the door. every step you take feels like a hammer to his skull, like a blade to his gut, a part of him screaming at him to stop you, pull you back, keep you here where you belong—

but he cannot. this is what must happen. this is what is truly safe. the moment the door clicks shut behind you, xiao collapses to his knees.

his breath comes out in sharp, ragged gasps, his hands trembling where they dig into the wooden floor, nails cracking the surface. his body is shaking, his thoughts are a frenzy, a whirlwind of too much, too close, too dangerous. his throat is raw, his skin fever-hot, the hunger inside him gnawing at his ribs, carving into his bones. he is not himself. he is something else, something worse.

you are gone. you are safe. and yet—still, he wants to chase you. he wants to indulge in his wishes, but he’s too afraid. too afraid that his worst nightmare would turn into reality—you would be hurt and he would be the reason.

[barrenclan]

Is there a reason why night and cypress didn't have 2 litters? Wouldn't it make sense for them to take turns carrying?

I really can't stress enough how much Nightberry and Cypressfoot did not want kittens, and how much their litter was meant as an appeasement to the rest of BarrenClan. Cypressfoot does love being around kids and was a very good mother, but she was uncomfortable with the idea of carrying, and she would've preferred to moreso help out other cats with their kittens. Nightberry didn't want children, but she loved Cypressfoot more, and Cypress wanted to stay in BarrenClan.

(The reason for them needing kittens being, in BarrenClan same-sex relationships are accepted, but only if the couple produces children ie. through surrogacy, usually with a loner.)

Nightberry came around to being a mom eventually, and she does care about her children. But there has always been a bit of a disconnect between any maternal behavior and herself, and her part of raising them was always more strict and sort of like how you'd train an apprentice. Cypressfoot was much more overtly affectionate with her children, but never took pains to hide why Nightberry had a litter, and she sort of treats everyone in the Clan like her children, rather than giving much more specific attention to her kids.

Yeah, Redstar, Cootstorm, and Blacknose knew they why they were born... why do you think Redstar and Cootstorm were Like That? Why do you think Blacknose was so intense about BarrenClan being a bad environment to raise children and wanting to leave?

[eurydicees]

re what they are saying about fiyero on twitter - gosh there is too much stuff. they talk about how uninteresting he is, how his presence has no effect on the leads, how he shouldn’t be elphaba’s endgame and doesnt deserve to be, how they want to delete him from the plot (somewhere along those line), how they want to block anyone making any fiyeraba or fiyero tweets or content and much, much, MUCH more like i genuinely do not understand the obsession?

i of course get not liking him, thats normal about any character lol but the way they just cannot shut up about how they dislike him is so….. like really no one is challenging your gelphie content 😭 we really are not interested to challenge your ship. you really dont need to focus on this guy 24/7 but ig you do you i hope they remain sane amidst all the apparent misery lol

well. you know. disappointed by not surprised. a partial fiyero ted talk under the cut. sorry.

it's like. it's just so frustrating to write him off as uninteresting and as having no effect on either elphaba (or glinda). like guys why is the media literacy not happening right now. also how the fuck would you delete him from the plot???? guys his plan is literally how elphaba escapes dorothy. he's the one who saves her from the gale force, TWICE. he literally sacrifices himself for her escape and its his sacrifice that makes her spiral into "wickedness" during no good deed.

also, fiyero is elphaba's endgame in part because he does what glinda cannot bring herself to do. WHICH IS SO VITAL TO THE ENDING. fiyero is the one who makes all of the sacrifices for elphaba that glinda refused, and he both pays the price for it and reaps the reward of it.

glinda and elphaba have a profound effect on each other, obviously, but it's not like fiyero is left unchanged by elphaba. i dont get where this idea that fiyero and elphaba have no dynamic because like??? that's just not true?????

fiyero goes from refusing to confront the difficulties of life to choosing the more difficult path for the sake of morality and loyalty and love because of elphaba (which is also really interesting given how he's, like, kind of a casualty of war in the book more than he is an actual rebel....mostly fiyero's book to musical adapation is #Rough but that's a cool parallel i hadn't noticed before).

glinda begins to see the flaws in the wizard's society, but she actively chooses to be a part of the system anyway. and she regrets it. that's the whole thing abt thank goodness!!!

fiyero, on the other hand, begins to see the flaws in this society and he chooses elphaba--and the life of rebellion that she's chosen--over everything that glinda admits to being unable to resist.

and GOD. guys that's so interesting. HES SO INTERESTING!!! how are you not interested by all of this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wicked is such a cool study on morality and what the "right" thing to do in such a world is, and what it means to make the decision to do the right thing vs the comfortable thing. fiyero chooses to follow elphaba and he pays the price, but he also doesn't regret it. glinda chooses the "safe" option--but in the end, even if she chooses good then, she's entirely alone in it all.

and that's SO INTERESTING!!!!!!!!! god. whatever. twitter just doesn't get him like you and me get him, anon.

just. it's totally fine to dislike him! i'm not refuting people's right to dislike him. the nature of fictional characters is that sometimes people will dislike them. like that's fine.

but being incapable of shutting up about how much you hate a character just...it stops being "harmlessly disliking a fictional character" and starts being "you are insufferable to talk to." like sorry you're so miserable about fiyeraba but i'm gonna be over here just having fun because that's what fandom is supposed to be about :)

(also, just a major issue with breaking this movie up into two films released a year apart is that any movie-only fans just don't get the point of fiyero's character. it's kind of devastating. ik not all of the people saying that stuff are movie-only but man. the people who are...im BEGGING you to give him a chance in part 2. literally BEGGING you. fiyero is such a good character. he has so many good moments. let the green girl go lives in my head rent free and if they cut that i'll riot.)

tldr; fiyero is SO neat and twitter is just full of cowards.

[minyard-05]

i think i might be the biggest mary hatford defender in the fandom cuz like i am fully aware she fucked him up ROYALLY and that she's by no means a good mother, but it feels like people think she hated neil and PURPOSELY ruined him

speak your truth. mary hatford was not a good mother but think about how she could've left neil. she could've run on her own, probably successfully disappeared too. she could've let him do the second day of raven trials. she could've risked nathan killing him if tetsuji decided.

she didn't even hesitate. she took him and left because there was no way in hell she was letting there even be a chance that neil wouldn't survive. i think mary expected to die on the run from the moment she left but do you know how long they ran without nathan catching up??? EIGHT YEARS. eight years mary hatford kept her son alive and not only that she kept him with her too. no doubt there would've been an opportunity to leave him at an orphanage or something, run away alone, but she didn't just want him to stay alive she wanted to stay with him. she loved him. even when he smiled just like his father did. even when his voice trembled when he lied. even when his hands shook when she taught him how to shoot even when he cried and couldn't hold the needle to stitch up a wound. she couldn't bear losing him.

i don't think she wanted him to run forever. i think part of her hoped that someday he would be able to live a normal life, find people he loved, without keeping one foot out the door all the time, without looking over his shoulder. she told him to never stop running but i think part of her wanted him to. i think she would be proud of where he is now. one of them had to make it.