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ailendolin · 2 years ago

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Whump Wednesday - 56 - BBC Ghosts

Title: The Fire [AO3]

Characters: Mary, Thomas, Alison, Mike, The Captain, Pat, Julian

Prompt: Mike and Alison have an oil fire in the kitchen one day. In a panic, Mike throws water on it, making it worse. While Alison is eventually able to extinguish the fire with the ghosts' help, the experience is particularly tough on Mary and it sends her into a panic. - Prompt sent in by the lovely @magicaltear.

A/N: This fic proved to be really difficult to write. I wrote it from a different POV originally but something was so off that I was extremely unhappy with it. In the end, I rewrote the whole thing from Mary's POV and that seemed to do the trick. I hope you enjoy this result of many frustrating editing hours, dear!

Prompts are open, so if you want me to write a story for you as well just send me an ask with the fandom, characters and your prompt. I’m writing for Ghosts, Yonderland, Horrible Histories and Bill at the moment.

Six Idiots Whump Wednesday / Fluff Friday masterlist is here.

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The Fire

Tragedy often stroke when one expected it the least, Mary thought quietly to herself as Thomas slid down the wall, shaking.

They had all been in the kitchen, helping Alison with – something; Mary couldn’t quite remember what it was now – when from one second to the next flames suddenly rose up behind Mike.

“Fire!” she’d managed to gasp out, pointing one shaking finger at the stove. Heads swivelled around, staring at the burning pan in shock and worry while Alison leapt out of her chair with a panicked, “Mike!”

The next few seconds were a blur. Mary remembered backing away from the flames as Mike looked up from the potatoes he’d been in the process of cutting and cursed so colourfully it was a wonder Fanny didn’t cry out in outrage. He toppled over his chair in his hurry to get to his feet and reach the sink. For a brief moment Mary wondered what on Earth he was doing; why he wasn’t pulling off his jacket or scrambling for the lid of the pan like Alison was. Then Mike turned back around, in his hand one of the cereal bowls from breakfast, now filled with water, and her stomach dropped when she realised what he was about to do.

“No, Mike! Don’t!” Alison cried just as Mary made an aborted, useless step forwards to prevent a disaster.

They were both a second too late. Before they had the chance to stop him, the water hit the pan and flames exploded upwards in a blaze of fire.

Mary instinctively flinched back and covered her eyes – but not before she saw the flames engulfing Thomas. He’d been standing near the stove, quite by accident, when Mike threw the water and screamed as the flames embraced him. Mary remembered screams like that from the people who had been burned at the stake before and after her, especially from those that had not been fortunate enough to lose consciousness from the smoke before the flames had licked their way up their legs and burned their flesh. Unlike them, Thomas fell silent almost immediately. Mary chanced a cautious glance through her fingers. The fire had died down a little where he was standing and was no longer engulfing him. He looked disoriented and confused as he stood there and looked around with glassy eyes, almost as if his nerves were still tingling with heat and making it hard for him to concentrate on anything else. He started swaying on his feet and when he staggered backwards, right back into the flames, Mary pressed her hands to her mouth to muffle her cry – except after a brief moment where he was in visible agony, the fire seemed to shrink away from him.

Alison must have noticed it too because she let the lid fall from her hand and clatter to the ground, forgotten, as Thomas regained his footing and violently flinched away from the heat.

“No, go back! Do that again!” she said urgently and gestured to the fire, having already made the connection Mary’s brain was still struggling to accept and Thomas’s seemed unable to comprehend at that moment.

“What?” he asked sluggishly, blinking at her in dull confusion.

“The fire!” Alison said, pointing at the flames once more. “Please, Thomas. You have to step back into it!”

Mary froze. The world around her suddenly became muted, as if everything was coming from very far away or under water. It had been the same with the jeering crowd centuries ago when she’d felt the heat blaze at her feet and the smoke rise up in her nostrils. How could Alison–?

Before she could finish that thought, Pat grabbed Thomas by the arm and steered him into the fire with nothing but a murmured, “Sorry, mate,” as a warning.

Thomas’s panicked, “No!” got choked off as he stumbled into the flames. His scream died with the fire, leaving him standing in the middle of the smoking stove with his arms raised protectively in front of his face and shaking all over.

“It’s okay,” Pat said, reaching for Thomas’s arm with a reassuring smile. “You did it. It’s over.”

Mary wanted to claw at that smile. Nothing was over – how could it be when Thomas looked so hurt, so shocked and utterly betrayed? He wrenched his arm away from Pat and cradled it close to his chest as if it hurt.

“Don’t,” he hissed in a trembling voice before he staggered to the nearest wall where he sank down onto the floor and curled in on himself, desperately gasping for breath. Pat looked at his shoes in guilty silence.

“Uh, what was that?” Mike asked, unknowingly drawing everyone’s attention away from Thomas.

Instead of offering him an explanation, Alison rounded on him. “You did something stupid and almost burned down the house, Mike! That was that. God, you don’t extinguish an oil fire with water!Everyone knows that!”

There was a pregnant pause during which Mary could hear Julian mumble to Robin, “Did you know that? I didn’t.”

“No oil when I live,” Robin shrugged.

“Really?” Mike asked.

Robin turned to him and opened his mouth to explain even though he knew Mike couldn’t possibly have meant him and suddenly Mary couldn’t stand it anymore.

“You … you fools!” she forced out through gritted teeth, glaring at Mike, at Robin, at Julian, at Pat, at all of them.

“Now, Mary, I don’t think–,” the Captain began and swayed backwards when she directed her anger onto him.

“No,” she hissed. “You don’t. No one ever does. This – this was stupid. People coulds have gotten hurt.” She rounded on Pat who instinctively stepped behind the Captain and held up his hands in defence. “People did get hurt! How could you?”

Pat bit his lip and looked down at his shoes again, unable to meet her eyes. “It was the only way, Mary. You saw–”

“Oh, I dids,” Mary said darkly. “And I heards. The flames burned him just like they dids me once. You heard it too and you still pushed him.”

She watched with little satisfaction as Pat started to wring his hands guiltily. Then Julian muttered, “He doesn’t look burned.”

He wasn’t wrong. There were no visible marks on Thomas – at least no more than there had been before. But–

“That doesn’t mean he be all right,” Mary glared at him.

All heads with the exception of Mike’s turned to Thomas again. He seemed to shrink under the weight of their combined gazes and wrapped his arms more tightly around himself, refusing to look at any of them and give them the satisfaction of seeing how rattled he truly was.

Once again, Mike unwittingly came to his aid. “Uhm, I assume ghost stuff is going on since you haven’t answered me but I wanted to say, just for the record, that I really did not know you couldn’t throw water on an oil fire. Why is that?”

Alison slowly turned to look at him. “Seriously, Mike?”

“Yeah,” Mike said with a shrug. “I mean, it’s not like they teach that stuff in school.”

Alison sighed and pinched her nose.

“You’re very lucky we happen to have a fire extinguishing ghost around. We’re very lucky,” she added softly and reached up to touch one of his singed eyebrow, the gentle gesture full of love. “If Thomas hadn’t happened to stand between you and the fire, you would be toast right now, Mike. Toast. He saved your life.”

“Thomas, huh?” Mike asked. Alison nodded. “He still here?”

“Yeah.” She pointed at the general area where Thomas was sitting. “He’s right there.”

Mike looked at the air several feet above Thomas’s head before he said in a very serious voice, “Thank you, Thomas.”

Thomas’s breathing hitched but other than that he didn’t react.

“How, though?” the Captain suddenly asked, squinting at Thomas as if he was one of those insects he was so fond of observing on a sunny day. “How did he put out the fire?”

“Maybe it’s his ghost power,” Kitty suggested happily.

As the room erupted into excited speculation, no one apart from Mary noticed how Thomas winced and curled even more in on himself in a desperate attempt to block them out. Ignoring the discussion around her, Mary forced herself to step out of the corner that she had backed into when the oil had caught on fire and crouched down in front of Thomas.

“Come with me,” she whispered, holding out a sooty, trembling hand to him while keeping a watchful eye on the stove just in case it burst into flames again.

Thomas sniffed and looked up at her. After a moment’s hesitation, he reached for her hand and let her pull him to his feet. Without letting go of him, Mary led him out of the kitchen, through the hallway and finally outside where the air was crisp and clean and didn’t smell of smoke. Thomas closed his eyes and took a deep breath – the first steady one since the fire.

“Thank you, Mary,” he whispered in relief.

“You’s welcome,” Mary said softly, using the moment to let her eyes to roam over his body to make sure the fire really hadn’t left a mark on him.

He noticed and gave her hand a squeeze. “I’m fine. I promise.”

The smile he offered her was as forced as his poetry often was.

“No, you’s not,” she said with a shake of her head. “I’s not.”

She held out her hand, the one that wasn’t still holding his, to show him that it was trembling. Thomas swallowed hard and looked down at his own hand, tightly clenched at his side and shaking despite his best efforts to stop it. He lowered his head, for some reason ashamed of his physical reaction to what had happened.

“I could feel it, Mary,” he admitted softly in a voice that was as faint as a whisper. “The fire. It was everywhere and it – it hurt. Just for a moment but it hurt so badly and Patrick–”

He broke off with a shudder, unable to put the bitter betrayal into words.

“I know,” Mary said and stepped a little closer to him. “But you did save the man one’s life.”

Thomas sniffed and looked up at her. “I still don’t understand how. Why would I have the power to do that? I – I didn’t die in a fire. Not even close to one. If anything, you should be the one who’s–”

Mary stopped him with a shake of her head. “Oh no, you can keeps that power. Not too long ago I was fleeing from rooms if there be just a candle burning on the table. I couldn’t walk into a fire like you did.”

“I … I didn’t know about the candles,” Thomas said softly.

“You weren’t around back then. Annie helped. Without her, I woulds not be standing here with you right now. I woulds have run away, shaking and crying, and hid for the rest of the day.”

She was shaking right now – only faintly, though and not as badly as she would have a year ago, a decade, a century. While Annie hadn’t managed to take her fear away completely she had managed to make the panic feel less overwhelming and frightening. All it had taken were a few kind words and a gentle smile, and sometimes a distraction that had the primary goal of making Mary laugh until she forget about her racing heart and trembling hands.

Mary wasn’t good at distractions like Annie had been but she was good at understanding things – and right now, she had a feeling that was exactly what Thomas needed: for someone to listen and help him make sense of what had happened.

“Could you feel it?” Thomas asked. “The fire?”

Mary shook her head. “I can smell burnings, both the livings and mine, but I don’t feel the heat, no.”

“Good,” Thomas breathed and closed his eyes for a moment. Mary felt oddly touched by his reaction. “Because I wouldn’t want you to feel … that.” He paused, silently gauging her reaction, before he went on. “I never even realised I was different. I thought everyone could feel the warmth from the fireplace or the frosty chill of falling snow.”

He held out his hand as if to catch a snowflake in his palm. Mary watched it fall right through him before she softly said, “No, none of us can do that.”

“Why me, then?” Thomas asked desperately. “Why would I get a power like that? A power that’s … that’s rubbish.”

Mary huffed.

“How coulds it be rubbish when it saved a life?” she asked. Thomas faltered and her face softened as she added, “When it makes you be closer to the livings than any of us?”

For the first time since disaster struck, the tense furrow between Thomas’s brows smoothed out. “That’s … that’s a really lovely thought, Mary.”

“It be the truth,” Mary said simply. When the smell of smoke drifted up to them from inside the house, she gestured at the snowy grounds in front of them. “Wills you join me for a walk? I don’t feel like going back inside just yet.”

“Of course,” Thomas said but then he hesitated. “May I ask you something first?”

Mary nodded, noticing the way his left hand settled over his wound.

“Do you … do you think you’ll ever get over it? That you’ll ever be okay?” he asked softly.

Something eased in Mary’s chest then, something that had been tightly curled for so long that she couldn’t remember not feeling it. She smiled at Thomas and nodded confidently. “One day I wills. And you wills too.”

She looked up at the sky and imagined Annie’s star twinkling approvingly down at her from behind the snowy clouds. Thomas followed her gaze to the heavens and their breaths mingled in the air, one freezing it white and the other turning it a smoky grey.

#mary #thomas thorne #bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts fanfic #the captain #julian fawcett #pat butcher #Robin #Kitty #my fic #whump wednesday #wwff challenge

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aadlerarts245-01 · 1 year ago

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Blog 1: Letter, 9 Squares Project

I found it interesting to learn about the origins of typefaces and text. Although it’s something I use daily, I never really knew where most of the styles came from. For example, I didn’t know that some of the humanist typefaces came from their designers, the early printers; I also didn’t know that the font Gotham comes from words found in New York City at the Port Authority bus terminal. I have often scrolled through the endless list of typefaces on Google Docs and wondered where some of the fonts, especially more bizarre ones, got their names, so it’s nice to find out some of those origins! I enjoyed seeing the connections between the Renaissance & art movements and the movements in type. I also thought it was interesting how type has changed; I never knew italics began as a casual script, as I feel like now they’re used as something fancy, or at least a tool to set apart a word or phrase as unique. I’m looking forward to using typefaces more intentionally now that I know more about the character and history of text; I want to especially consider the human or mechanical natures of different typefaces when utilizing them in projects and work.

For our 9 Squares project, I’ve finished outlining all the grids on the black paper, and just need to check with Professor Khalili on the accuracy of my spacing. I have attached a picture of my workspace at my apartment below; I’m going to work on completing more of my squares before class next Wednesday. It has been challenging getting the measurements to be completely accurate, but I’m glad we’re practicing craftsmanship on this project, as it’s something I want to work on in the future.

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spoilertv · 1 month ago

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#SpoilerTV

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starlight-time-machine · 7 months ago

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Week in Review

04/21/2024 – 04/27/2024

Sunday

Week 11 of missing Cipher Academy

Girl Meets Rock good. Seems like the dynamics of the social web are about to shift again, with a rift growing between Takami and Ayame…

Undead Unluck super good…Feng getting stronger is a little scary, because if he ever manages to defeat Fuuko I fear that he’ll want to destroy everything in his pursuit of strength again…but also I want to believe in the connections he’s built with others in this loop…Ichico turning the previous loop’s tragedy on its head to change Nico’s version of Unforgettable is an amazing moment, though I can’t help but feel really sad for Nico regardless��Unforgettable is such a mind crushing ability even without the wife death thing, and I guess the implication here is that he held onto his sanity because of Ichico’s confession but I hope there’s some way for him to better cope with things in this loop…I’ve been really enjoying the fun and cheerful Nico we’ve been seeing so far, and I’d hate for him to just immediately revert back to his crotchety old man self from the last loop.

Monday

Touched some grass and ate some pizza

Tuesday

It’s time to get through some of these library books, the first being The Diamond Girls by Jacqueline Wilson. It’s one that I distinctly remember reading as a kid, and I think I still quite like it, reading today. It’s definitely my favourite of the three Wilson books I’ve read so far – I like the utter and overwhelming chaos that the story immediately throws us into, and even when it gives us some room for respite with the Mary segments, the nature of her living situation is so terrifying that it’s honestly like a horror movie. Dixie’s voice as a narrator is strong and distinct, and I like that you can still tell that she’s a dreamy little kid being put into these stressful situations. Some of the characterization got a little bit tiring, but I did appreciate Wilson subverting some of it by the end, like with Ryan turning out to be a decent-ish guy (still way too old for Rochelle though) and Jude actually becoming friends with the boys. Bruce was a nice character with a heart of gold, but I thought he got a little too attached to the Diamonds a little too quickly…although I guess if I were in his situation I wouldn’t want to turn a blind eye to them either. But immediately proclaiming that you’d like to be some kid’s uncle and stay in her life even though she’s just the estranged daughter of one of your clients is a little weird… Things got wrapped up a little too quickly too, by the end, but I think that’s Wilson’s trademark – just 95% stress and drama before a perfect happy ending, and I can’t really fault her for that.

Ummm Manga Tuesday I guess, which is just in time for the new Chainsaw Man chapter. As usual, I have no thoughts on it – I feel like I won’t be able to tell what’s going on in Part 2 until it ends and I can reread the whole thing from start to finish. Structurally I think I like Part 1 a lot more…

Dandadan good.

Took a break to watch the latest Game Changer episode while I ate lunch and wow I loved the chaos and the way it somehow accurately simulated people going insane in a time loop. All the bribery was fun, as was the contestants starting to say the scripted lines as they were being said by the other presenters. I also love how this continues to spur on the conspiracy theories that the fandom is cooking, and I really do hope there’s some multi-episode foreshadowed twist by the end.

Magilumiere good! Everything’s really coming together now.

One Piece good…I’m nervous for what’s to come.

Wednesday

Thursday

Very good episode of DunMesh today (with a side of meatballs). Loved all the action, especially with how brutal it could get due to the rules of the dungeon. Kabru doing all his little machinations in his mind was fun, as was him getting the sneak attack on Falin. The Laios and Shuro confrontation was also interesting and revealing of character, but I feel like everything about DunMesh’s writing has been talked to death already so I don’t want to just repeat what I’ve seen on Twitter. My general DunMesh thoughts are just that Ryoko Kui obviously has the writing chops to construct an absolutely original and airtight story, and it’s just fun to be a part of the ride.

Friday

I’ve been in the mood for some TV, and also wanted to pare down my watchlist a little, so I decided to check out Sharp Objects. I’ve heard good things about it and I like small town mystery stories, so I thought I’d like this one too…but the first episode just annoyed me so much that I dropped it right away and read the series synopsis on Wikipedia lmao. Everything about it was just so…screenwriting 101? In the sense that it was like they were checking off bullet points from a How to Write a Screenplay textbook; the tortured protagonist with substance abuse issues returning to their hometown to literally and figuratively confront their past is already well-trod ground as it is, but then every line of dialogue was so basic and boring and acted with all the enthusiasm of a mannequin going through the motions. At first I was wondering if the stock dialogue was some sort of tool being employed by the writers, like a metatextual façade being purposely put up for the sake of the mystery, but no it’s just how it is and I hate it. And judging by the Wikipedia summary that I read, I definitely would’ve hated watching the story progress and the ending, so I’m glad I can just write this one off.

The next show I tried was This is a Robbery, that Netflix documentary about the Gardner Museum art heist. I only got through half of it today, and it’s pretty…standard, I would say. You’ve got the dramatic graphic design and the million interviews and the goofy ass re-enactments of what happened (I know why documentaries do them but it doesn’t stop them from being silly as hell) – just the basic Netflix hyperproduced documentary flair with a dash of being high on its own supply in terms of drama. I thought I would like this documentary because I somewhat enjoy true crime but not the intrusive “accidentally ruin people’s lives due to media attention” kind, so an art heist felt like a nice middle ground between being interesting but still somewhat low stakes…but so far, it’s been pretty slow-moving and meandering and I wish they’d get to the point already.

Saturday

LMAO okay so the reason why This is a Robbery was so meandering and chasing all these dead ends was because there’s no real ending to this story, and I’m so mad that I wasted four hours of my life on this stupid shit. I guess I should’ve looked it up beforehand but I didn’t want to be spoiled…I kind of assumed that if they were making a whole documentary about it, there was going to be an interesting story or narrative to be told…but no, it was just an overproduced publicity stunt to get more attention on the case… They spent so much time interviewing all these people (LITERALLY WHAT WAS THE POINT OF GETTING A WHOLE EX-IRA GUY JUST TO SAY A FEW LINES AND “YEAH IT WASN’T US” BRO ALLOCATE YOUR RESOURCES BETTER PLEASE) and going into the granular details of the case and possible theories about the suspects and their whole organized crime web and I thought it was all going to tie together somehow or be in service of some grand narrative but no!!! This documentary has zero storytelling weight and really shouldn’t have come into existence. All it did was highlight how dogshit the FBI and the police really are. I just wanted some answers and to see how the heist was actually carried out, but I guess real life is rarely as interesting and narratively satisfying as Ocean’s Eleven. I’m giving this thing a 1/10 for annoying me so much and wasting my goddamn time.

Agh…most of the TV shows I’ve watched recently have been duds… This isn’t helping my irrational fear that I won’t find anything that’ll reach Succession’s heights ever again… Granted, I only finished This is a Robbery because I thought there’d be some sort of payoff by the end, but I need to be more discerning with which recommendations I should actually follow through on in the future.

#week in review #2024

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maximumwobblerbanditdonut · 1 year ago

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Shetland stars tell of ‘conflict’ as detectives team up in tense new drama

Shetland returns on 1st November. Image: BBC/Silverprint Pictures/Kirsty Anderson/Matt Burlem

Stars of the new Shetland series have revealed how their characters clashed as they were thrown together to solve a brutal murder with gangland connections.

Ashley Jensen and Alison O’Donnell will appear together next Wednesday in the first series since the departure of Douglas Henshall as DI Jimmy Perez.

In a series of interviews released to publicise the much-anticipated new six-part drama, the actors have revealed intriguing details about the dynamic between the detectives – and the tense new storyline.

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Jensen, who plays DI Ruth Calder, describes her character as being “formidable”.

“She’s strong, she’s a woman in a man’s world.

“Ruth Calder’s built this little barricade around herself – she’s almost like an island herself.”

Originally from Shetland, Calder is not pleased to be back.

“She’s very much an urban detective and is resentfully drawn back to Shetland.

“This case makes her confront herself, her past and the things that pulled her away from her home in the first place.”

Called back to Shetland to find an eye-witness in a London murder with possible gangland connections, Calder must team up with Tosh – who has temporarily stepped up to the role of DI following Perez’s departure.

Production crew and DI Ruth Calder (Ashley Jensen) and DI ‘Tosh’ McIntosh (Alison O’Donnell)

Their new partnership gets off to a tense start.

Jensen says there are “moments of conflict” which makes for an exciting storyline – although, ultimately, they respect each other.

“At times, Calder almost acts like a big sister to Tosh but that might come across as nipping at her,” she added.

“There’s a glimmer of respect there that builds and builds – but that’s not to say that there won’t be moments when they annoy each other.”

O’Donnell also described tension in the “restless” new partnership.

“It is new and fragile and their policing styles don’t always marry up.

“But these are two confident, experiences women who recognise the value of working together and pooling resources, and who respect each other, even though they don’t always see eye-to-eye.

Behind the scenes, however, the pair had an “absolute blast” working together.

DI Ruth Calder (Ashley Jensen);DI ‘Tosh’ McIntosh (Alison O’Donnell). Photo: BBC/Silverprint Pictures/Jamie Simpson.

O’Donnell said: “There were days when I laughed so hard my stomach hurt and I was in danger of crying all my make-up off.

“But we never, ever lost focus or took our eyes off the ball.

“Figuring out our chemistry was an outright pleasure and I’m really proud of what we created together.”

She said returning to Shetland for the filming was “like coming home”

“I was so happy when I learned we would be going back.

“I know the place so well now and look forward to visiting all my favourite beauty spots and eateries.

“My family love coming too and we had a really special time, especially as the weather was so gorgeous.

“In 10 years of filming in Shetland I’ve never seen it so lovely. The sun was out and it was warm and the beaches there are so beautiful…also there’s a soft play now!

“So, life is complete.”

Jensen was also impressed with what filming on the isles had to offer.

“Well, being in Shetland during a summer heatwave wearing layers of cashmere will certainly stay with me forever, that’s for sure.

“Beyond that, the beaches and the sea were incredible but one of the things that delighted me on a daily basis were the sheep – who knew there are so many different types?”

Shetland returns to BBC One at 9pm on Wednesday 1st November.

THE SHETLAND TIMES 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Shetland a preview of next week, the first series since the departure of Douglas Henshall as DI Jimmy Perez 😉

#Youtube

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writing-sunshine · 2 years ago

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Beach View

Paring: Thursday Settman x reader

Warnings: Potential character death, explosions

Summary: What if reader was able to save Friday?

(Y/n) (Y/L) and Thursday Settman were in a relationship. Everyone loved and trusted (Y/n), even Monday. However, Monday had a different connection to (Y/n), the two of them were more like sisters. Ironic, right?

She could tell (Y/n) anything and she wouldn’t tell a soul. Though she had 6 sisters, having her was like a best friend that understood why she would do certain things. A sister that wasn’t forced to be with her 24/6.

The Settman sisters accepted (Y/n) and she couldn’t imagine her life without them. Especially Thursday, since they had been together for over five years. But there was always that risk which they all knew. With (Y/n) knowing their secret, it could cause terrible things to happen to her if anyone found out. She was okay with that though, because she wouldn’t be able to live without Thursday if anything happened to her.

“I love you.” (Y/n) said as she turned to face Thursday.

Today was Thursday so the two of them were at (Y/n)’s house, and after certain activities they lay in each other’s arms as the sun started to set. They still had a few more hours until Thursday had to leave.

“I know. And that’s why I’m here with you and we have the whole future to plan.” Thursday spoke while admiring her lover. “When this one child policy act is over we can travel the world and buy a house with a beach view.” (Y/n) smiled as she imagined the things she wanted to see.

“And children, how many.” Thursday asked.

“Maybe 2 or 3 and we are going to give them the best life they could possibly have.” (Y/n)’s smile grew even more. Thursday traced circles on (Y/n)’s side.

“My mother had 7 all at once.” Thursday said and (Y/n)’s mouth fell open slightly, not because she didn’t know, but because she could never imagine herself pregnant with septuplets. Maybe they could adopt them instead.

“Your mother was amazing and strong but I could never do that, I mean look at me, I’m tiny.” (Y/n) laughed because she was rather small, but only a few inches shorter than Thursday.

“Your the perfect size for me.” Thursday teased.

Only a few months later Monday went missing. When Monday disappeared, (Y/n) spent every day at the Settman sisters house, helping them in any way that she could. She was there when Tuesday disappeared and C.A.B attacked the house and Sunday was killed.

She helped the two sisters when Wednesday and Saturday were killed. Then it was just Friday and Thursday that were alive and they didn’t know what happened to Monday or Tuesday. But then the house was attacked by C.A.B again.

“Run.” Thursday lead them through the wall and to the next building.

Friday tried to stop but (Y/n) pushed her to go, she knew what Friday was going to try and do and she was going to do it herself. She knew that Thursday wouldn’t survive without at least one sibling, so she sacrificed herself.

They went down the ladder but (Y/n) pulled it up once Friday was on the ground. Both of them protested against her going back up, but she needed to get the pictures downloaded to Thursday and Friday’s bracelets. They had lost everything and she was going to try and save the last thing they had of their sisters.

“(Y/n), what are you doing? Get down here!” Thursday shouted to her.

“You’ve lost your sisters, I’m giving you something to remember them by.” (Y/n) shouted down to her and raced up the stairs.

She could hear Thursday and Friday yelling at her to get down, but she didn’t. She downloaded hundreds of pictures to Thursday and Friday’s bracelets. It wasn’t working fast enough, she didn’t have enough time.

She connected the tiny ear piece to her ear and talked to Thursday, while putting flammable items in the microwave.

“Thursday, can you hear me.” She asked.

“(Y/n)! (Y/n) (Y/L) get down here right now.” Thursdays voice broke and it pained her to have to say goodbye.

“Listen the photos are downloaded to your bracelet. I umm- I have about 30 seconds. I just wanted to say that I love you. It’s better me than Friday, you need her. Her and Monday are your only siblings alive.” (Y/n) almost broke down but held it together.

“No, no, no, no, no. You need to make it out (Y/n), I need you. Please get down here.” Thursday rushed out.

“Family over love, Thursday Settman. 5 years is nothing compared to the 30 you’ve spent with them.” She had 10 seconds.

“What about all those promises. Travelling the world and the beach house with children.”

“I love you Thursday Settman.” (Y/n) closed her eyes just as the photos finished downloading, the C.A.B smashed the door and the microwave exploded.

Thursday kept shouting to (Y/n), there had to be enough time. She looked down at her bracelet when all the photos came through, but looked up suddenly when an explosion went off.

“No, no.” Thursdays eyes pooled with tears and a sob rang out, her sob.

Ash rained down on them like snowflakes. Friday held Thursday up but she herself was crying. It took a while before the two left to find Monday and possibly Tuesday. But Thursday was broken, heart broken.

The End

Possible ending:

(Y/n) woke up, she wasn’t in any pain which felt strange to her. Maybe she was in heaven? But she looked around, this was a hospital. She’s alive. It was a 50/50 chance of survival, she knew that if she ran then she would be dead so at the last second she hid in Thursday’s room.

The nurse came in and checked her vitals, she was then allowed to leave. The first place she went was the place she knew that Thursday would probably go to, her house. (Y/n)’s house. That’s if Thursday was still alive.

The door was unlocked, she knew that someone was here. Walking further into her house (Y/n) saw a figure on her bed, a figure she knew very well. Thursday. She wasn’t crying but it looked like she had been, she also was holding (Y/n)’s pillow to her chest, it must still smell like her.

Thursday’s eyes were closed and she lied on (Y/n)’s bed. She walked over quietly, unsure if she was sleeping. (Y/n) moved some hair out of Thursday’s face and her eyes immediately opened. She then rubbed them as stared at her lover as if she was an alien.

“If your wondering if I’m real then the answer is yes.” She chuckled and Thursday hugged her tightly.

They were going to be able to buy a house with a beach view after all.

#what happened to monday imagine #what happened to monday #what happened to monday x reader #x reader #Monday Settman #Tuesday Settman #Wednesday settman #Thursday Settman #Friday settman #Saturday settman #Sunday Settman #Thursday Settman x reader #Karen Settman #Karen settman x reader

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glassvines · 2 years ago

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Thoughts On 2022 Favorites

TV Shows 1. Severance: My absolute favorite new live series in years. Great premise with a unique (and ironic) visual look that perfectly matches the tone of the series. The opening credits are just. So!! *chef kiss* 2. Wednesday: This was a lot more fun than I was expecting. While I felt so-so on some aspects of the show (the cgi and the teenage drama especially), the style of the series and Jenna Ortega's portrayal of Wednesday was fantastic. 3. Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities: New Halloween favorite! The overall series is a combo of spooky and pretty. Particularly enjoyed The Viewing and The Outside. 4. 1899: Enjoyed the heck out of this show, which is weird considering I didn't like Dark. It's Lost but actually coherent. All I could ever want out of a character-driven sci-fi series.

Animation (TV & Films) 1. Amphibia: Perfect series, with a perfect (and surprisingly bittersweet) ending. A new Disney favorite. Hope it gets a bluray release like Gravity Falls did. 2. Lego Monkie Kid: The animation blew me away in this series but it's also great story and character-wise despite being so short in length. 3. Rise of the TMNT Movie & TV series: The Rise movie proved I'll never be fully over comic book/superhero genre films despite feeling very burnt out on them overall. It’s a fairly old franchise, but it hasn't grown cynical over time. I think this is key to keeping franchises going indefinitely. It still has so much heart to it, and the Rise movie was my favorite new film released this year. Made sure to watch the series in it’s entirety as well and now wish I had checked it out earlier. 4. Guillermo Del Toro's Pinocchio: This story has never really connected with me (even when I watched the Disney film as a child), so I was a little surprised at how much I liked this one. (Which I should not have been - this is Guillermo del Toro after all!) Gorgeous animation and very unique compared to all the other various versions of the story that seem to be released every freaking year (I'm looking at you Disney). 5. Wendell & Wild: While I wasn't super enthused with the (kind of bloated) story, I adored the animation and character designs. Always nice to see something new from Henry Selick.

Anime (TV & Films) 1. Demon Slayer: Was curious to see if the hype was real and am pleased to say it's worth watching. Incredible animation and a likable main cast. 2. Spy x Family: The premise is what hooks you, but the character moments (paired with great music) is the heart of this series. Just a super solid comedy/action anime series. 3. Shadows House: Still need to finish the second season, but I'm enjoying this one a lot! An intriguing, underrated mystery series. 4. Perfect Blue: I believe this is the final Satoshi Kon film I had not watched up until this point, and I'm more sad than ever that he died so young. It was a prophetic, horrifying film.

Video Games 1. Cozy Grove: Probably the game I played the most this year? I'm finding that I love this kind of gameplay a lot (Animal Crossing-esque), so I'll probably look for more games like it in the future. 2. Little Witch in the Woods: Fantastic pixel-art aesthetic in this one. 3. Machinarium: Ever since playing Samorost 3 Amanita Design has become one of my favorite indie game companies. This one's an oldie but goodie. 4. Genshin Impact: I don't plan on ever dropping any money on this game but I do like the graphics and gameplay. I can see why it's so popular now that I've played it a bit.

Live Films 1. Under the Silver Lake: Unexpected new favorite. I just have a deep love for surreal movies that shit on Hollywood culture. Hoping to see more from David Robert Mitchell. 2. Nope: I don't know man; I just think Jordon Peele gets me lmao. I have loved all his movies thus far, and this was no exception. Creepy, atmospheric and thoughtful commentary on humanity’s relationship with both nature and fame. 3. Mandy: I need to watch this movie a few more times to fully absorb the visuals/plot/message, but on a first-watch basis it dazzled me.

Honorable Mentions 1. Cursed Princess Club 2. Inside Job 3. Barbarian 4. The Legend of Hell House: this movie was on my Halloween watch list and I loved it so much. The conclusion was fucking bonkers.

Things I’m Looking Forward to in 2023 1. I might actually (willing) watch a few Marvel/DC movies next year. 2. Clone High Reboot: Not sure if I'd say I'm looking forward to it, but I'm very curious to see how the new series turns out. 3. Second season of Good Omens! 4. Nier Automata anime series!! 5. Movies: Barbie, the new Seth Rogan TMNT movie, John Wick 4, The Super Mario Bros. Movie, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, and Disappointment Blvd. if it's actually released next year.

Some Creative & General Goals for 2023 I would just like to get back into the grove of drawing regularly again. These days I only have time for photography, but I really want to get back into a headspace where I can prioritize drawing again. Maybe take up painting and nature sketching too.

#New Year's #some comments #glassvines gets irl #animation

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thecountoflondonfansite · 3 months ago

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“He also seems to be accepting of me as a villain. Of course I’m not going to drag him into my schemes. It’s just nice to be treated by your character rather than your career. He also seems to have an intensive knowledge of science, particularly in chemistry. It’s great to talk about similar subjects that we both understand.” Even though they just had one date, Two Brains felt a special connection with Henry. It was almost like they could relate to each other on some level. Victor smiled warmly at his brother’s happiness. He was glad Gene was opening up his heart again after so long. “Well, have fun with your next “meeting” with Henry on Wednesday.” Victor teased. Dr. Two Brains gave the man a smug expression. “I will.” He retorted. Victor chuckled. Soon the brothers bid goodbye to each other with Victor having to work on fixing Winnie while Two Brains did his own thing. Neither were aware of a figure watching them from a distance. “This is interesting.” A female voice remarked with a sly smile. “I’ll make sure to let the boss know.” The figure then went back to her errands. She was glad she took that request from Arthur to pick up some for his experiments. Molly picked up her phone and dialed a familiar number. “Hello.” A male voice responded on the other end. “Hey boss, I spotted Henry today sometime after you saw him.” Molly eagerly spoke. “You’ll never believe who he is suddenly dating.”

Hyde was getting antsy and bored. He was tired of being cooped up in Henry’s mind and their apartment. Of course Henry let Hyde out to spend time with their daughter Amber, but that was about it. Henry didn’t want Hyde out on the streets again so soon after his fiasco. Hyde didn’t disagree with him in the beginning. Though he refused to admit it aloud, Hyde was still afraid of being hunted down by the EVA and other heroes. So the blonde man graciously stayed indoors with Amber and let Jekyll have his turn when he was done. Hyde was relieved that it wasn’t like the incident with the fire. Thinking about it did cause turmoil within the man, particularly due to the connection with Two Brains now. Hyde didn’t understand Whiskers. On one hand the guy was a regular bloke. He was a loving and caring parent towards his own wee lass. He was definitely in love with Henry. It was genuine too. Hyde hated to admit but Whiskers had stirred up feelings within the blonde man as well. He was obviously more open about his emotions than bloody Lanyon. This was also a problem for Hyde. Dr. Two Brains seemed like a bomb went off whenever you said or did something that triggered him. He only knew of two triggers now. Maddrix and Whisker’s parents. Hyde nor Henry didn’t know what not to say in order to avoid a negative reaction. Hyde was honestly afraid of seeing that enraged expression again. It was almost like facing a demon. Hyde let out an involuntary shiver. No, he couldn’t be afraid of the EVA or the heroes. He especially couldn’t be afraid of Whiskers. He was the Spirit of London at Night. He was the evil side of Henry Jekyll. Hyde was born to be a villain. One way or another, Hyde was going to be the most terrible villain that Fair City ever faced. ‘And me wee pup Amber will definitely like me more than Wordgirl.’ Hyde thought with his signature, maniacal grin. Oh yes. He was going to make his comeback. No one was going to stop him.

Unaware of Hyde’s plans, Henry was once again eagerly looking forward to his second date with Dr. Two Brains. Henry wanted to try somewhere different this time. Luckily he found a nice diner located next to a science museum. They could look around the exhibits and discuss or critique each theory or device there. Then they later could have a bite to eat next door. Hyde groaned inside Henry’s mind about how boring his idea was for a second date. Henry rolled his eyes and ignored his counterpart. Dr. Two Brains on the other hand was in agreement with Henry’s plans as indicated by his text back to him with a heart emoji attached. @unhingedexperimenter

(You can tag me on my tgs side blog. I also apologize but I know a few Scottish words. So to anyone reading this I apologize for the inaccuracy.) Becky Boxleitner noticed a change in the atmosphere as she and her pet monkey Bob walked into the sixth grade classroom. All of the students were excitedly chatting with one another. Becky and Bob exchanged confused looks at the scene. 'What is going on?' They both thought. Becky walked to where her friends Violet Heaslip, Rose Franklin, and Todd Scoops Ming were sitting, also joining in the excited yet low volume chattering. "Hey guys what's going on?" Becky asked her friends. They each turned their heads to greet their friend. "Hey Becky guess what, we're getting a new teacher for our class!" Scoops exclaimed. Becky looked surprised at the announcement. Bob also mimicked her facial expression. "Wait really? What happened to Miss Davis?" Becky asked, wondering what happened to their old teacher. It was just a week only into the new school year so a sudden teacher exchange was a complete shock to Becky especially since there were no announcements about it beforehand. "Miss Davis had to move back home because of a family emergency." Rose Franklin answered. "The principal had to scramble to find a new teacher to fill in for our class. It was all last minute stuff." Becky nodded in understanding of her friends' answers. It was a nice perk to be friends who were upcoming reporters. Soon the final bell rang which indicated for every student to take their seats. Becky took her place beside her best friend Violet and Bob plopped down next to her. Soon a man who looked to be in his mid 30s walked in and towards the desk. He had curly brown air, an arched nose, and reddish brown eyes. He wore a tan button-down shirt with a red vest as well as brown slacks and dark suede shoes. The man gave a pleasant and warm smile to all the students there. "Hello my name is Dr. Henry Jekyll and I will be your teacher for the school year." Becky and the other kids ears perked up as they took note of the man's accent. Even Tobey became slightly interested in his new teacher. None of them were sure where their new teacher was from. Dr. Jekyll gave a light chuckle as if he could sense their growing curiosity about him. He lightly clapped his hands together to gain their undivided attention and focus. "Well since this is my first time teaching here, why don't we all play a little game so we can all get better acquainted with each other. Here's what to do. One at a time, say your name and share a wee bit about yourself. Likes, family, interests and all that. I'll go first to show ya what ah mean. Again. My name is Dr. Henry Jekyll. I was born in Glasgow but ah moved to London where I attended university. I have a five year old wee lassie or daughter named Amber. I enjoy chemistry and reading on occasions. Now who would like to go next?" @unhingedexperimenter

Of course Tobey had taken the opportunity to place attention on himself and to have a reason to boast about himself. “My name is Tobey McCallister the third and I will be the most intelligent student you'll meet here.” The others had rolled their eyes, used to this kind of behavior from their peers. Becky seemed to be the most annoyed by it. Having been forced to put up with his destructive tantrums in the past. Henry smiled just as warmly as before. Unbothered by the obnoxious behavior that the boy had been displaying. Tobey had been going on about himself for a good few minutes before the teacher finally spoke up. “Ahem, yes. Thank you for that Mr. McCallister. Would anyone else like to tell me a bit about themselves as well?” No one could tell that behind the facade, Dr. Henry Jekyll was becoming more irritated by the moment. Not by the child but by the pest that refused to leave him be. Scoffing within his head at what they just heard. He didn't share the disembodied voice's opinion but wanted to give the other children a chance to introduce themselves as well. To the others' shock, Tobey seemed to have taken this well. Quickly going back to his desk with no issues. Becky was relieved at that. Soon the other children had started to introduce themselves to their new teacher with little to no issues. He seemed genuinely nice enough to her. This new teacher didn't seem like most of the adults within this city. Some she had to define words repeatedly for. Dr. Jekyll knew what he was teaching and knew his vocabulary. It was Violet who had brought Becky out from her own thoughts, calling her name. Waving a hand in front of her face. “Becky?” The girl smiled in an embarrassed manner. “Huh? Yes?” Violet smiled, patient with her best friend. “Why don't you introduce yourself now? Nearly everybody else already did.” She had given a surprised expression. Becky hadn't realized that she was so lost within her thoughts until then. She stood up and began speaking. “My name is Becky Boxleitner and I also like libraries,reading and Pretty Princess.” The presence that was grating at the teacher's nerves had deemed this too dull to enjoy. Leaving Dr. Jekyll be to his teaching. Well, getting to know his students. He was happy to see that they were engaged in these activities that were meant to break the ice. Though one student in particular had caught his attention the most. Becky. While she did seem rather bright, there was something strange about her behavior at times. Pausing whatever she was doing at the time to listen in on something. Thinking it went unnoticed. Even once looking alarmed and she made an excuse to go to the bathroom. He had allowed it. Feeling that it would've been better to have let her. It seemed…oddly familiar. As if he had seen that behavior somewhere before but couldn't figure out exactly where from. When the school day was finally over, Becky had gone to go home like the others. Dr. Jekyll had of course stayed behind to set more things up within his new classroom. Making a plan on exactly what he'll actually start teaching the next day. Though, the grating voice had returned to be a thorn in his side. “Come on. Leave this boring stuff alone. Leave it until tomorrow. I've been pent up for far too long. Let's have some fun.” This had earned an eye roll and a loud huff from the teacher. “No, I've got to get this done now. You will have enough time tonight. Just be patient until then.” A shadowy figure formed in front of Dr. Jekyll. A frown on its face. “But this is so extremely dull. I want to stretch my legs. I want to make myself known already.” Dr. Jekyll glared. “And that is precisely why I'm so hesitant to let you out so soon. At least let us get acclimated to our surroundings first.” The figure let out an annoyed groan. “You know you want this as much as I do. Otherwise you'd never have any actual fun in the sad and pathetic life you call yours.”

@thecountoflondonfansite

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nose-bl · 3 years ago

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some Encanto details you might have missed!

i know many colombians have already talked about these details but alskdalsdkal i’m passionate about this movie so i am gonna talk about this too

when Bruno quitly sings “sana que sana colita de rana“ (i assume he sang this to Casita bc it was falling apart :’)

M IÉRCOLES (apparently a ton of people didn’t understand why agustin was saying “wednesday”. basically miercoles is a kid-friendly way to say mierda, aka shit)

the food!! during the proposal scene, the family is eating ajiaco santafereño, we also see things like buñuelos and arepas

during Abuela’s flashback, when she’s meeting Pedro, they reference Dia de las Velitas which is a holiday that takes place during the 7th of december where people light up candles and pray. afterwards Alma and Pedro are eating buñuelos which are a must-have christmas holiday food (but they exist all year long ofc)

the yellow butterflies: now, i know they are supposed to represent Alma and Pedro, especially considering the song Dos Orugitas, but i want to add that yellow butterflies are a very important and relevant theme in Colombia as they are a reference to magical realism and García Márquez. i don’t know if they intentionally picked yellow butterflies because of this reason but i made the connection anyway

the biodiversity was also a huge theme but i could make a whole post on that so i’ll just say that Colombia is the second most biodiverse country per square meter in the world and it was really nice to see this

at the start of the movie, what Mirabel receives is a maceta valluna

the clothes have different inspirations but Mirabel’s dress specifically is based off of the traditional clothing of Velez in Santander, and we see characters using ruanas, ponchos and sombreros vueltiaos

Pedro died in Caño Cristales

the movie seems to take place in Quindio (specifically Valle del Cocora)

side note: Caño Cristales is located in Meta, which isn’t that far away from Quindio but they are still different departments, so basically they just took the inspiration from different places in Colombia to create the space in which the movie takes place but it’s not like they are EXACTLY in Quindio or Meta or whatever other real place because it wouldn’t make sense that way

Abuela’s backstory is truly heartbreaking, especially when you know what it’s about. many people think it was just a random attack on hers and Pedro’s town. but it’s a lot more than that, there’s a lot of historical context going into it and the fact that they showed the forced displacement that is still a huge issue was just....shocking and unexpected, but a good surprise (here is a twitter thread that goes through Colombia’s history quickly to explain some context to you)

finally i wanted to say that Alma’s backstory likely took place around 1902 and the present time is around 1950, but they intentionally left the time ambigious so it’s a bit hard to know exactly in which year the movie takes place

any colombians are invited to add stuff if you want!

#also correct me if i said something wrong bc my memory is bad #encanto #colombia #latine stuff

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ailendolin · 2 years ago

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Whump Wednesday - 50 - BBC Ghosts

Title: Missed Chances [AO3]

Characters: The Captain/Lieutenant Havers

Prompt: The Captain reaching out to Havers. - Prompt sent in by the lovely @fanfictionfrog.

A/N: I'm sorry this went in a different direction than you probably had in mind when you sent me that prompt but I do hope you'll enjoy it anyway 💙

Six Idiots Whump Wednesday / Fluff Friday masterlist is here.

————

Missed Chances

He has pretty eyes – that was the first thing the Captain noticed when his new second-in-command arrived at Button House and stood at attention before him. Then Havers smiled at him for the first time and – Good lord, the Captain thought, knowing on some instinctual level that he was in deep trouble. He felt his face flush and his throat close up, forcing him to clear it quite awkwardly.

“Do you think your new posting here will fulfil you, Lieutenant?” he managed to ask.

Havers briefly glanced down at his shoes and bit his lip. “I am quite sure of it, sir. Especially after the warm welcome you have given me.”

“Well,” the Captain said, trying not to feel too pleased about that. “I sure am glad to have you around, Havers. Reinforcements will arrive next week and Lord knows I can’t train all these young men on my own.”

“Don’t you worry, sir,” Havers smiled. “I’ll come up with a roster that will provide the new recruits with a thorough training and allow us enough time to work on the actual operation.”

The Captain nodded, wondering what he’d done to luck out so much. Handsome, intelligent and diligent – he couldn’t have imagined someone like Havers in his wildest dreams. Not that he’d ever dreamed of pretty brown eyes that crinkled at the corners with joyful laughter or bashful smiles that were directed his way … Not to mention holding warm, gentle hands between his own that seemed hesitant to let go.

“I will let you get settled,” he said at last, forcing himself to end the handshake and return his hands behind his back. They were tingling pleasantly. “Dinner is at 1800 hours. I would be honoured if you would join me, Havers.”

Havers inclined his head in acknowledgment. “The honour would be mine, sir. I am very much looking forward to working together with you on this project.”

He gave a perfect salute before turning around and marching out of the room. The Captain watched him go with a wildly beating heart. Every fibre of his being ached to stop Havers and call him back just so he wouldn’t lose this brief but beautiful connection he’d felt form between them during this meeting. No other person had ever made his heartrate skyrocket like that – had smiled at him as if he truly enjoyed his company. While the Captain was not naïve enough to think that there was more to it than mere politeness on Havers’s part he couldn’t help but feel there could be more to it one day. Maybe even a real friendship that went beyond the professional relationship between commanding officer and second-in-command.

It would be nice to have a friend, he thought wistfully to himself as he sat down behind his desk. He looked down at Havers’s file and sighed. If only …

————

Havers turned out to be everything the Captain had hoped for and more. He worked tirelessly, was strict but fair to the new recruits and came up with brilliant thoughts and ideas that would help advance their operation. The Captain had worked with many people before in his life, both inside and outside of the military, but he’d never felt so in tune with anyone as he did with Havers.

“Say, Havers,” he said one evening as their off-duty time approached. He reached into the drawer of his desk. “I happen to find myself in the possession of this very fine bottle and was wondering if you’d like to share it with me. After the breakthrough we’ve had today, I’d say we deserve a little treat.”

Havers’s eyes widened in surprise before a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “I certainly won’t say no to that, sir. Thank you.”

The Captain returned the smile and stood up to get them two glasses.

Three hours later, the Captain could say he was well and truly on his way to getting drunk and so was Havers. He did not usually indulge like this but seeing Havers’s flushed face, the colour high upon his cheek and highlighting his eyes so mesmerizingly, he couldn’t say he regretted it.

“I really should go, sir,” Havers said – not for the first time that evening.

“Stay,” the Captain insisted, pouring him another glass.

Havers chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m afraid I’m getting a little drunk, sir.”

The Captain laughed. “That makes two of us, then. Cheers!”

It was just after midnight by the time Havers finally got to his feet.

“Careful,” the Captain said, reaching out to steady him but stopping short when Havers managed to find his footing.

“I’ve got it,” he grinned, most likely not realising how enamouring his smile was. “Thank you for this lovey – lovely – evening, Captain, but I really must go to bed now or I won’t be of any use to you in the morning.”

The Captain let his hand fall. “Of course. Sleep well, Lieutenant.”

Havers’s smile widened a fraction. “You too, sir. Goodnight.”

He staggered out of the room, a lot less coordinated than he usually was, and the Captain tried not to think about the way he looked with his tie undone and hair messed up from carelessly running his hand through it as he drank the final dregs of the wine straight from the bottle.

————

“Havers,” the Captain mumbled, blindly reaching out to him.

“I’m right here, sir,” Havers said in that lovely voice of his that always reflected his equally lovely smile.

The Captain turned his head towards him without opening his eyes and murmured, “It seems I’ve caught that pesky flu that’s been going around.”

“Don’t you worry about it, sir,” Havers said. He sounded a little closer now, as if he was leaning forward in the chair he must have pulled up to the bed. “I have the troops well in hand. You just focus on getting better.”

“All right,” the Captain mumbled. He imagined warm, gentle hands tucking the standard Army blanket in around his shoulders and, influenced by the fever coursing through his veins, made an attempt to grasp Havers’s hand.

His fingers passed through nothing but air and when the Captain finally forced his heavy eyes open, the chair beside his bed was empty.

————

“Well, that’s me, then,” Havers said, offering him a small smile that tugged at the Captain’s heart. He looked handsome with his woollen coat and duffel bag slung over his shoulder.

The Captain cleared his throat. “Yes. Off to see the family.”

Havers paused. There was something in his eyes that looked terribly like hope when he said, “You could still come with me, sir.”

“Ha,” the Captain laughed even though he didn’t feel like laughing at all. “Someone has to keep things running here while you are off gallivanting through the fields behind your parents’ house with that dog of yours. What was his name again?”

“Barry,” Havers said softly. “I didn’t think you’d remember.”

The Captain suppressed the instinct to shrug. “It’s all a bit hazy – the fever, you see – but I do remember you being there and talking to me. It … it brought me some comfort, I must say.” He cleared his throat again. “I suppose I never thanked you for it so – thank you, Havers. I really appreciate it.”

His heart ached when Havers ducked his head in that shy way of his. “It was no hardship at all, sir. I’m glad my worried ramblings had some effect.”

Worried, the Captain thought. He was worried about me.

“They did,” he said quietly.

They looked at each other for a moment before Havers readjusted his duffel bag. “I better go or I’ll miss my train.”

“Of course,” the Captain said. “Save journey, Lieutenant. I will be eagerly awaiting your return.”

“Thank you, sir,” Havers smiled. And then, as if the Captain didn’t already find it difficult enough to let him go, he added, “Should you change your mind, you know where to find me, sir.”

For a brief second, the Captain’s arm twitched at his side, desperate to stop Havers from leaving, to join him in where he was going.

He balled his hand into a fist. “Give Barry a scratch behind the ears from me.”

He was sure he did not imagine the disappointment dimming of Havers’s smile. “Will do, sir. See you in two weeks.”

The Captain already began counting the days until his return before Havers had even walked through the door.

————

Dear William –

The Captain had never thought he would write this letter and had certainly never believed he would ever have need for it. Havers’s presence at his side had always seemed like such a certain, everlasting gift that couldn’t possibly be taken away from him. They did good work together, after all – excellent work if the Captain might say so; work that would save many lives in the future. No one in their right mind would tear a great team like them apart.

“I’m afraid I’m leaving you, sir.”

It had never crossed his mind that Havers himself would be the one to do it. The worst thing about it was, that the Captain couldn’t even fault him for wanting to leave. One didn’t become a soldier to stay at home and watch the war play out from a distance, after all. That urge to fight at the front line resided in them all.

He’d just hoped Havers’s would stay dormant a little longer.

“I say, Havers,” he said, desperately trying not to let this moment, this last chance to turn something that had only ever tentatively existed in his mind into reality, daring and dangerous as it might be, slip through his fingers. But when Havers turned around, so fast it almost seemed as if he’d been waiting to be stopped, his courage failed him and the hand that was aching to reach for the letter and hand it over – his only chance of stopping Havers from leaving – stayed firmly at his side. “It’s a bally shame we won’t get to finish the operation together.”

Havers smiled at him, sad but composed, and nodded. Then he was gone and the letter the Captain had spent many sleepless nights composing and agonising over rested heavily over his heart.

————

+ 1.

Havers had often considered writing to his former captain. He still remembered vividly the first time the thought had crossed his mind. It had been his second night at the front – not the first because he had still been behind the lines then, waiting both for his orders and his new captain. By the time the second night came around, he had been in the thick of it for hours, and the longing for the quiet evenings at Button House filled with small smiles and meaningful glances had grown so strong that he had pulled out a pencil and a crumpled sheet of paper from his jacket. Then he’d faltered. What was he supposed to write? That he missed his captain? That he regretted leaving him for this? That he wanted to come home?

It would have made him sound like a coward.

There were other times when he’d sat somewhere, his hands caked in dirt and blood, and looked down at another empty sheet of paper. His fellow officers had taken to calling him The Poet after catching him a few times at it, making fun of the fact that he only ever stared and never wrote a single word. Havers sometimes wondered what the Captain would say about that. Would it make him smile? Or perhaps even chuckle?

It hurt to know that he would never find out.

Years passed and he lost count of the number of letters he never wrote. The war raged on, grew worse, cost him a leg and was suddenly over – first for him, and shortly after that for everyone else as well. Havers knew he would never forget the sight of his mother’s face when he stood there in front of his parents’ house for the first time in over a year with his crutches, changed and not quite whole anymore but at least alive.

It didn’t take him long to realise that the war was not actually over at all and in fact might never be. It still existed in his mind, haunted his dreams with the sound of gunfire and shells exploding and the sight of blood and boys desperately reaching for the pictures of their loved ones before the light in their eyes grew dim and eventually went out. Despite that it still took him several years to gather up the courage to finally sit down and write the letter he hadn’t been able to compose before. He kept it simple – I hope you are well, sir, and if it’s not too presumptuous of me to ask I was wondering if you would be interested in meeting up. I happen to find myself missing you our conversations. – and hoped his shaky handwriting didn’t betray his nervousness too much.

Then he waited. He knew the post could be terribly slow but with every day that passed his worry grew. What if his former Captain did not want to talk to him? What if he had put the war behind him for good and avoided any and all reminders of it? What if–?

“Will! There’s a letter for you!”

His mother’s words almost caused him stumble down the stairs.

“Careful,” she laughed and handed him the letter with a fond smile, at least partly aware of why it was so important to him.

Havers smiled at her, a little sheepish, before he looked down at the letter. His smile fell. He didn’t have to open it to know something was wrong. Ever after all these years, he was sure he would recognise his captain’s handwriting anywhere and this – this was not it.

With shaking fingers, he opened the envelope.

“Will?” he heard his mother ask as he read the neatly written lines and barely registered any of what they said: Dear William – I am deeply sorry – happened five months ago – often spoke of – where he was stationed – still so young.

He thought of crinkles around expressive eyes that he would never see again, of the sound of a throat being cleared that had once been so familiar to him he’d regarded it with fondness, and of shy smiles that had been both endearing and maddening at once. Most of all, though, he thought of silence and lost chances, and the guilt of leaving his heart in his Captain’s hands so many years ago and never telling him about it.

His mother touched his arm and Havers looked up at her. Tears filled his eyes and he felt like a child again when she wordlessly drew him into her arms.

“He’s gone,” he choked out.

The letter fell from his hands and drifted to the ground. The world caved in on him just as quietly.

#the captain #lieutenant havers #caphavers #capvers #bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts fanfic #my fic #whump wednesday #wwff challenge

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57greenstreet · 3 years ago

Text

Gossip Guy podcast with Willem De Schryver

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYjtRYOGS00

translated by @jackfrostsander @bruisingknees @lblogss @yousmina and me :)

E: I do have another present for you.

W: Oei oei oei, presents.

E: I do that every week. I give something to my guest of the week.

W: Oei oei oei. Do I slide it?

E: Here in the front is a flap that you have to fold upwards…

[Intro]

E: Wassup people, welcome to a new episode of the Gossip Guy podcast. My name is Ender Scholtens and today I’m here with Willem De Schryver. Everything ok?

W: Sure sure (In Dutch sure is used as a confirmation to a question).

E: Is this your first podcast?

W: Yes, this is my first podcast.

E: Stress?

W: No, it will be fine, right? Relaxed.

E: I don’t know… (laughing). For the people who don’t recognize you, from where could they know you?

W: Hmmm, probably from the youth series WTFOCK where, in the third season, I play the role of Sander.

E: And we are allowed to talk about it in this podcast.

W: Yeah I also heard that. Yes, it’s over.

E: Was it a difficult chapter of your life to close?

W: Yes, I still clearly remember the last moment… Like really the last last scene at the sea… That was an emotional moment because you went through a lot as a group, you did a lot together, and emotional scenes, intimate scenes. But yes, I think, if I speak for the whole group that it was a goodbye to the series but not a goodbye from each other. We still keep in contact. Mainly through WhatsApp.

E: Yeah, the end of the series was beautiful. I sat next to my girlfriend when it just came online. Because there were a few scenes that we hadn’t seen yet and we were just watching them… And we refreshed and the last episode was online… The last piece was online… So, I thought… I really cried… It caused quite some emotions.

W: For many people… Also under the cast and even the extras that were present for that last scene… Even among them. I can remember that they got emotional because it really was over over. I think that we, WTFOCK, have been able to impact a lot of young people in Belgium. So, it’s beautiful… We closed it beautifully…

E: I don’t doubt that. I really liked the end. What is your favorite memory from your whole WTFOCK experience?

W: Hoh, hmmm. Do I have to choose one? Difficult to choose one… I think that the most enjoyable moments… At the end of each series… Almost… We were at the sea or in the Ardennes, as a group, for a vacation. Away together. And those moments… Away with the whole cast and crew… Being away for a whole weekend. And in the evening, talking late into the night and that creates a special connection and I think that, in general, was the most enjoyable… Yes, it affects me… You share, as a young person, a common dream or something we want to realize as an actor to succeed and everyone who works so hard for that… That’s nice to see.

E: I recently talked to Veerle and I know that if she sees Nora, like somewhere, say at a party… Then they stay together for the whole evening… Do you have that? With who did you have the best connection throughout that whole experience?

W: Yes…

E: That doesn’t mean that the rest is not chill or so…

W: No the rest is all stupid… There’s only one person… I hate you all! (joking) No! Yes, hmmm, I think that I definitely have the best connection with Willem. Just because we have been through a lot… I always compare the WTFOCK crew a bit to my own friend group, aside from the cast. I mean, I know to whom I can go for what. I know I can go to some if I feel sad, to talk and I know who I can go to to have a laugh. And who I can go to to have a general chat. And everyone has their qualities or like their own aura around them… Where I love to hang around. So, it differs from person to person. So, it’s hard to choose one person but Willem then in the sense that, if you jump naked together in a swimming pool and if you have intimate scenes together… That creates a connection, of course. So, yes, if I have to choose one person…

E: Is there a barrier that you have to overcome to play such scenes? Because they are very intimate, indeed. And I, personally, couldn’t imagine… I can’t act… But, to empathize with a role… To play such scenes… Is that difficult for you?

W: Huh, yes, that’s a question I get often. I mean like… Yeah and you have to empathize with that character… But yes, you step into that project with a certain professionalism and you say “okay, we are going to create a story and bring it to the public with certain values and that we want to tell something and show something” …So, yes, you don’t really think about it. So, it’s not like I thought “Ooooo, I am kissing with a boy but I am interested in girls”. That was not a problem for me because it really is about telling the story and making that together and if the story requires that then you just completely go for it.

E: That’s cool. What are your future acting ambitions? You now have played in a series, is that something you want to do more in the future or do you like theatre more or movie or…

W: I find it difficult to choose between theatre and film, for example. After WTFOCK I played in Déjà Vu, which you can see on Streamz and later this year on Channel 4… And I study theatre at KASK. And I notice the difference, due to the recordings, I am really in the field and I am busy and I work, while at school I learn new things about theatre… So, in my opinion I have more experience in television work because I actually have done projects for that and I haven’t yet for theatre, which is still school and learning. So, I think it’s currently hard to choose but I think, maybe it’s a cliché answer, but the combination is maybe ideal, of course. But I am still exploring and I will see how it goes…

7:02

E: What is your favorite food?

W: My favorite food?

E: Yes.

W: Hmmmm, in the past I was really a basic guy… Like spaghetti bolognese or so… But now, generally after my exams, I go to a restaurant with my grandma. She always buys. That’s always amazing. I am a fan. And I always take steak tartare with fries. That remains a bit of a guilty pleasure.

E: How long, do you think, would it take you to eat five full plates of spaghetti bolognese?

W: Hoh, hmmm. The thing is, my stomach is rather small…

E: Small?

W: I think that I would have to schedule in… Okay, after a certain time I would have to throw up and then eating further…

E: You’re allowed to take a break. You’re allowed to say… Okay, I take a few days…

W: No, no, not that…

E: You’re going to do it in a day?

W: Look, two plates… Three if I really push…

E: You get preparation time so you know like a week before… So, you can like…

W: Train yourself?

E: Yes, train…

W: Hoh, alee say about four hours…

E: Four hours?! Five plates, he? Like five really big plates…

W: Yeah but yeah, four minutes… I am exaggerating… Let’s say a day… In a day five plates…

E: Ok, that should work. Then you basically have every meal… Breakfast… Lunch… Dinner… and in between… pasta…

W: Pasta as breakfast…

E: One day should definitely be feasible.

W: Yes, indeed.

8:49

E: What is, according to you, the reason you were placed on this planet?

W: Fuck (laughs).

E: Existential crisis, okay? Have you never thought about what the purpose of life is and what…

W: Yes, certainly… Hmmm, I'm someone who worries a lot. When I'm in bed in the evening I start to think about questions like that and then I think “what am I doing? Willem… where do I want to go to and…” Hmmm, why was I put on this planet? Hmmmm… (speechless followed by laughing). This is really bad… It’s like I don’t value myself…

E: Noooo, but I didn’t expect a deep philosophical answer. Well, if you had one… really good but…

W: Okay I’m going to think about my philosophical answer… but no. If you want… No! Yes, now I'm really going to sound philosophical but… (crosstalk) Everyone who is on earth has a certain reason to be here and everyone… I for example have that… I really feel that… I never liked going to school. Especially, in lower and high school. I… I actually, on purpose, put my fingers in my throat in the morning to throw up…

E: Wow, that’s heavy…

W: And then going downstairs to say “papa I’m ill, can I stay home?” I don’t know why but that whole system… Sitting behind a desk all day… And those classes… that was not for me. And then I discovered my passion for acting and discovered that it really suited me. And that’s the thing… A lot of people often ask me like “how did you start?” and “I also would like to do that and where do I start and I have been rejected does that mean I am not good enough?” but I think that sometimes you shouldn’t rush to find your passion. It can take longer then you would like it to take. I think that if you too intensively search for "what am I good at?" and “I have to find something that I am good at” and… For me that’s happened unexpectedly. I did take acting classes on Wednesday afternoons after school and I kind of got into it like that… I think it differs for everyone and that everyone has their own purpose here on earth.

E: And would you say your purpose is acting?

W: Yeah…

E: There isn’t a right answer but how does it feel for you at the moment? Is that the thing you love doing the most or do you see yourself doing for a long time?

W: The thing is… I’m a person who gets tired of things very quickly. I’ve had a lot of hobbies.

E: So maybe next week you want to garden or something?

W: No, no I wouldn’t say that. No the thing is, with acting that isn’t the case. Since I was twelve… well first on amateur level…

E: How old are you now?

W: 19.

E: Oh wow I thought you were my age. 19… damn bro you’re three years younger than me.

W: 2001 represent.

E: That’s literally… you’re the same age as my brother! What the shit. Alright, no okay.

W: In November so almost 2002. I’m really a latecomer.

E: What?! You look like you’re the same age as me and everything.

12:14

W: But that’s honestly – thank you for saying that! I always used to be the “little guy.” None of the girls wanted to be with me cause they just thought I was cute.

E: I see.

W: And they came to me to talk about their love lives.

E: Oh, okay.

W: So I was always that guy who was like: “I’m in love with you.” “Oh, how cute! You’re so cute!” So I was always like: “Okay then, I’m never going to find anyone, I’m always going to stay… short. I’ll be all alone.” And then all of a sudden I –

E: Do you think height matters in regard to your chances with certain… people?

W: At this age I don’t think it does anymore, but I do think that – I think at – I just remember in high school that the romantic idea of what love was supposed to look like was very: a boy and a girl, and the boy has to be taller and stronger and bigger than the girl. But I think that now it’s more… I mean, at my age I’m convinced it’s more fluid than that, and it doesn’t have to be that way. So it doesn’t have to be an issue anymore.

E: But still, when you go on Twitter, short guys are still –

W: Yeah.

E: Totally annihilated.

W: I have notice – I have noticed – Yeah, it’s still… It’s still this… general thing that people get stuck on. Like: “Oh, a short dude. That’s not okay.” Or whatever.

E: Or like the guy has to be taller. But no, we’re – we’re – not… not all relationships… we’re really generalizing here. But I get what you mean.

W: Yeah.

E: No, it’s – I do think it’s still important. I think that when you’re, and this is really harsh, but that a lot of people look at you differently when you’re taller. I have this dude in my friend group, Louis Ledegen, and he’s close to 2 meters tall, and just some girls look at him and they just think that’s so… attractive or whatever. And I just can’t even imagine.

W: I don’t get that either.

E: That that makes them go like: “Wow!”

W: I was in the train just now and this dude walked by me and he was honestly like 2 meters tall and I was just thinking: “When you’re that tall, and you’re with…” I mean, the girl almost has to get on a stepping stool to reach him for a kiss! And girls are like – I mean, I’ve heard before that girls think it’s attractive when a man is really tall.

E: Yeah.

W: And yeah, I don’t know… I don’t totally get it.

E: No.

W: Maybe it’s cause I’m not that tall myself, that I’m like trying to protect myself and be all: “That’s not necessary!”

E: Yeah! If anybody knows the answer, do we, being shorter guys, have less of a chance?

W: Let us know, please.

14:53

E: Please let us know! We need some answers! Now in the show, wtFOCK, your hair’s a different color.

W: Yeah.

E: Yeah. Is that something… So that was actually – it wasn’t really blonde?

W: It was completely bleached.

E: Bleached.

W: It was more to the… But the thing is that they had to do it twice, cause the first time… I got there, for the first table read with the director and Willem [Herbots] and they were like: “Hey, Willem. We wanted to ask you something. We’d like to bleach your hair for the role.”

E: Yeah.

W: And I was like: “… Okay.”

E: Okay.

W: “And why?” No. “Just for the character and stuff.” So I was like: “Okay. That’s fine.” The thing is I had to be at the hairdresser for 4 hours for this.

E: Oh wow, heavy.

W: It was like this and this product, and it had to sit for a long time. It had to be bleached all over. And I got out of there the first time and I was completely yellow – but yellow like an egg.

E: Oh, shit!

W: And I… My mom dropped me off, and I texted her: “I’m done, will you come get me?” And I saw my mom approach and she just passed me by.

E: Oh wow.

W: She didn’t – she almost didn’t recognize me anymore. Like halfway - she was like – and then she was like: “Oh! Willem!” Like she hadn’t seen –

E: Oh shit.

W: That it was me. That I looked completely different. And then I arrived for another table read and Tom [Goris – director] was like: “Yeah… We’re not gonna go this route… This is too yellow.” So then I spent another 4 hours at the hairdresser. After that I had to be there for four hours almost every month. I did think it was cool to have bleached hair, but… You have to be at the hairdresser for so long, so that really wasn’t… my thing. I mean, I had some really cool moments with Mitch [Fabry – hair & make up wtFOCK]. Thanks, Mitch.

E: Would you ever dye your hair again?

W: Uhm.

E: Maybe another color?

W: Yeah, I don’t think so. I’m quite happy with my hair color, actually, I don’t know.

E: Alright.

W: Now it’s also like… Everyone always asks me: “So this is your natural hair color?”

E: Yeah.

W: And then I have to tell them: “Yeah.” And it’s like: “Oh, okay!” It’s this switch. But no, I’m happy with my hair. It’s fine.

17:03

E: I can also tell that you’ve got an earring? You can’t really tell on camera, but –

W: I’ll come a little closer [to the camera]. Yeah, I only got it recently, four weeks or something.

E: Yeah. Was it an impulsive, drunken decision, or something you wanted… for some time?

W: I’ve wanted it for a long time, but I was a little anxious about it like: “It’s not gonna look good on me,” and then after a while, a couple of months ago, I was like: “Fuck it, I’m just gonna do it.” And if it didn’t look good I could still just take it out, so it doesn’t really matter. But all in all I was pretty happy with it. My father, my parents – my mom: “Oh, so nice!!” And it was like – at first they give you a stud and then after four weeks you can change it to a hoop. And I really wanted a hoop, and I even asked the people in the (piercing) shop: “Can’t I please just get a hoop straight away?” And they were like: “No, sorry, it doesn’t work like that. For hygiene reasons that’s not okay.”

E: Okay.

W: But okay, so I had to wait four weeks and then eventually I could change it to the golden hoop. So I get home and the first thing my father said was: “Wow, you look like a douchebag.” That was the first thing out of his mouth, that I looked like a douchebag.

E: Is that the look you were going for?

W: No, not at all! Not at all!

E: I think it looks cool.

W: Thanks.

E: Cause a little while ago I wanted one, and so I put on my girlfriend’s earring – because even if your ear isn’t pierced it sticks a little –

W: Yeah.

E: And so I just put it on there for a day or something, and then I was like: “Okay, that’s quite enough.” I don’t know if I’d want it for longer than that. Recently I’ve been getting into rings and stuff though.

W: I wore rings for a long time, but I don’t have any anymore. I actually want – I like them too. But I have to –

18:47

E: If I’d known, I would’ve brought you a gift!

W: Go shopping. Goddamn!

E: I did bring you another gift though!

W: Another gift? Oei oei oei, gifts!

E: This is something I do every week, I give my guest of the week something.

W: Oei oei oei.

E: It’s just…

W: Do I just slide it –

E: There’s a little hatch over here, that you have to lift, and then you can just lift it like that. There we go.

W: There we go.

E: White hairspray.

W: If I’d want to go back to – there we have it. Too good.

E: It can be washed out really easily as well. So this way you don’t have to be at the hairdresser for like four hours. And then when you’re sick of it, you can just get rid of it again!

W: That was the thing… Thank you, by the way.

E: You’re very welcome.

W: Now I can go back – Now I can go back to my past life. No, that was the thing as well. People who – people who - after wtFOCK came online, people really recognized me with the white hair. I mean, it’s pretty noticeable, when I’m walking through Ghent station – if someone with bleached hair. I mean, if you watch the show, I can imagine that when you see someone with bleached hair, you immediately connect the two and think: “Oh, that could be him.” And then you run in to some people who ask for pictures. After that my hair was really short, cause the people from Déja-Vu were like: “We’re not gonna do this, just go back to your natural hair color.” So I cut it all off, and there was this time where… nobody came to talk to me anymore. I was able to just be myself again. It was as if – looking back on it, it was actually really nice that for wtFOCK I was able to completely get into a different character with different hair. And the first time I got rid of the hair I really noticed that was no longer being associated with the character.

E: Hannah Montana vibes! Your hair changes color and nobody knows who you are anymore.

W: “Who are you?”

E: “Who the fuck are you?!”

W: “Does anybody want to take pictures with me? It’s me! It’s me! I swear!”

E: “I’m that dude from wtFOCK! I’m that dude from wtFOCK!”

W: So if people don’t recognize me anymore I can just… *pshhht* in the morning.

E: Exactly! If you want to take some more pictures, you can just…

W: No, no. That’s fine. No, yeah.

E: It’s kind of crazy, actually. Because, honestly? The very first time I saw a flash of you, with this hair color, I also thought: “I recognize you from somewhere…” But I think I’d already gotten in contact with you through social [media] and I didn’t put two and two together that you…

W: Yeah.

E: “Aaah!”

W: “Aaah! You’re that guy!”

E: Yeah, so…

W: But that’s the whole thing. If someone recognizes me, which doesn’t happen that often by the way, it’s always – I think it’s funny to be like: “No, that’s not me.”

E: No.

W: People really start doubting themselves, it’s very: “Uhm, can I ask you a question? Are you that guy from wtFock?” “Me? No.”

E: “No!”

W: “That’s not me.” And people will often be like: “Oh? What? But I recognize you…” That doubt on their faces is pretty funny but yeah, then I tell them it’s me.

E: Just the reaction of someone being like: “Huh, do I know you from somewhere?” “Do you watch porn?”

W: The confrontation.

E: “Oh… qmdkjg.” And it’d be even better if the parents were right there as well. “Argh!”

W: “Yes, Jürgen, care to explain yourself, young man?”

E: No, it’s just funny to joke about. But you’ve never – Do you just get: “Hey, are you that guy from wtFOCK?” Or have people also asked you: “Do I know you from somewhere?” Or: “What do I know you from?”

W: Yeah, it depends. The thing is – I go to school in Ghent and when the [popular place where college students go out] was still open before Covid-19, not that I went there often because I didn’t really like it there –

E: No.

W: - in the sense that the combination of young people who –

E: Watch wtFOCK.

W: - watch wtFOCK and alcohol – and people who’ve had alcohol to drink –

E: And are horny?

W: - their limits or boundaries are just gone. “Oh my god!!! You’re that dude from wtFOCK!! Can I kiss you??” Things like that!

E: Oh, fuck!

W: And I was really like: “Okay…?” I’m just a regular dude and I’m trying – and I actually thought it was less annoying for myself, but I thought it was more disruptive for my friends. Like even when we were just walking down the street, we got recognized a couple of times, and I was just like: I just want to have fun with my friends, and not have to spend too much time thinking. That’s another thing I was subconsciously thinking about. Imagine I drink way too much.

E: Yeah.

W: And I end up in the gutter somewhere, and people start filming that… So yeah, that made… So because of that I spent more time in friends’ dorm rooms just having dorm parties.

E: And since your bleached hair is gone, have you gone to a party?

W: When my bleached hair was gone corona was already a thing so I haven’t been able to enjoy it. But it’s starting to come back [the parties] so that’s nice. I’m looking forward to… tomorrow I’m going-

E: Are you going as well?

W: Are you going to Plein Air by Fuse?

E: Tomorrow I’m going to Jaimie Lee who-

W: …Is going to DJ at three festivals.

E: Yeah at three festivals and I will be backstage I guess.

W: Okay.

E: One of those festivals?

W: Yeah I don’t know. I have tickets for Fuse Open Air in Brussels.

24:19

E: I honestly have no idea where I’m going. Anyway, I’m excited. And I always asked, what’s the first event you went to ever since it’s allowed? Did you go to We Can Dance festival?

W: No I was studying.

E: Was today your last exam or yesterday?

W: Yesterday was my last exam in the morning. I was stressing so much, because I thought I would fail, but eventually I think it went relatively well. If you’re watching professors, let me pass please. No I think it went well.

E: Are you someone who is stress resistant?

W: Uhh no.

E: No?

W: I let it take over my body.

E: You get physically unwell?

W: I will be laying in bed and I’m tossing and turning and sweating. And I think about how I’m not gonna pass tomorrow. And the combination with my worries is really not good. It makes me stay up really late. The thing is with stress resistant, I for example made my own play at high school about a kid with divorced parents for my final work and the whole audience was filled with my family and my parents. That’s pretty confronting to tell a story that’s also a little bit of their life and is pretty personal. I’m always stressed for things like that. Then it’s weird – from the first word I spoke I had a lot of stress and worries and the first sentence that I said was something like “I don’t know what to do”, and then it’s all of a sudden poofff. The train has left.

E: You said you didn’t really know what to do now.

W: That’s the first sentence of the text that I wrote and the moment I said that sentence I thought in my head “the train has left, there’s no way back now” and then the stress disappears automatically. But before the final rehearsal there was a moment that I was moving around heavily and I was throwing with chairs. And afterwards I had to pack moving boxes, which was okay. But from moving around and the combination of stress it made me almost gag in the box from the stress so I almost puked. So at these moments it gets pretty heavy.

E: Did other people notice or were you hiding it?

W: Yeah the final rehearsal was luckily not with an audience, but my teachers were like “Everything alright?” and I was like “Yeah I’m good. It’s a bit much”. But when it comes to stress, a lot of people always say – I’m even a little stressed right now actually.

E: Really?

W: Podcasts, oh no no.

E: Oh shit. You have to be (stressed)

W: A lot of pressure on my shoulder here. No, but a lot of people say that it doesn’t look like that I’m stressed even though I really am dying from all the stress.

E: Only now you can hide it really well. You should become an actor.

W: A lot of people have said that to me often, but it’s not my interest. Also not much work in the field.

E: That too, fuck. Are you someone who constantly pretends like you’re okay?

W: Yes.

E: Even when you have a lot of shit going on in your head and you’re processing other things?

W: I'm one person. One person?

E: "I'm one person" [laughs]

W: I am one person. No, but I'm someone who often keeps their stuff to themselves, so that I can listen to what others need.

28:15

E: That was my next question. You listen more to other people’s problems and you’re the person people come to with their problems?

W: I think, at least I hope, that a lot of my friends do know that they can always come to me for a talk or a phone call. I'm someone that will shove away their happiness for someone else, which isn’t always positive of course.

E: It is a beautiful characteristic, but it shouldn’t take over indeed.

W: In the past it has happened that I was falling apart, but I kept pushing it away, because I wanted to take care of someone else. I noticed this a lot during the divorce of my parents. My parents had a hard time with the divorce and I remember that I came home as a little boy and I saw my mom sitting and I felt the duty to comfort her and to be there for her, even though I was 8 or 9 years old. That’s not something you expect to do or think from an 8 year old. It really broke me and now I can openly speak about it, because I have had enough conversations with my parents about it, about how it was for me. And I made a play about it, as I told earlier, so it’s been a whole process and that has scarred me till at least my 16th. My parents got divorced when I was 5 or 6 years old. It took me a long time to open up because of that. I notice it a lot in previous relationships, that I walk away from fights, because I would find the confrontation too heavy to get into a fight and to discuss. The divorce and fights with my parents scarred me so hard that I didn’t want that again. I wanted everything to be rainbow and sunshine, but life doesn’t work like that. And that was partly a misconception from me, that I thought that a relationship had to be perfect, if there is a fight, then it’s not going well. Now I realize that fights are part of a relationship. And also part of steps you take into accepting each other, listening to each other and understanding each other. It’s needed for a stronger connection. You can’t, well you can, but in my eyes you can’t be with someone for a long time without ever having had a conflict. Even if it’s a discussion, because then you’re adapting too much to the other, and then you say okay, I’m adapting to the demands of her and I suppress my own things or things I want to do, only to avoid the discussion, and that’s something I learned. And that’s how everyone learns their own things along the way.

E: You still see it in the youth, those romantic movies, where everyone is so in love and it always ends with a kiss or something and it’s always good and then you think, this must be the case in real life. Why can’t I find Gabriella Montez for my Troy Bolton. Even though that was a shitty relationship too, they were constantly fighting. No, but that gives a wrong image about relationships and for other things because of movies. And the reality is just different.

32:16

W: Yes. I recently for the first time -this is kinda embarrassing because it’s a must see- watched The Notebook.

E: Me too! What did you think?

W: It has been a few weeks ago. Or a few weeks, maybe 3 or something.

E: I watched it last weekend.

W: I almost cried.

E: Really?

W: I’m a really emotional person. I can really cry. I can really get lost in a movie. “No not the puppy, why?!” Those things, where I think "Willem, act normal". But no it was a beautiful movie.

E: Yeah I have a different opinion, because I just fell asleep. I fell asleep, because it all went so slow, it started so slow. I didn’t even watch the kiss in the rain scene.

W: The moment. It’s in literally every romantic movie. In the rain, it happens everywhere.

Ender: Yeah mate, it’s such a cliché actually, but yeah.

W: I bet you that they’re just standing there with a garden hose.

E: Definitely.

W: It can’t be that they’re waiting, “is it gonna rain today? We need to do that scene now”.

33:27

E: Checking the rain alarm while everyone is inside. There are definitely sprinklers there. It’s in a lot of romantic movies. Now that we’re talking about it, the filming you did with wtFock, you sometimes had scenes outside. Here we have those (light) spots, I assume that you don’t carry them outside. How do you guys do that?

W: Sometimes we do have spots outside, but as long as the light from the sun is okay – with a binocular (telescope), well it’s not a binocular, it’s a round thing you can look through and with it they can determine the brightness of the sun and if the sun is too bright for the lightning they need, then it gets shielded, the same that is in front of your lamps. With that they can dim the lights. Or when there is not enough they use isomo plates, that’s really weird. Sometimes there are really intimate scenes in a series where it looks like it’s really close to the skin of the actors. There is a camera with a plate on it and a stick for the sound above it, it sometimes made it really hard for me to focus, because everyone is sitting there and the director and I’m like “yeah, okay okay”. So it takes a lot to get it all professional.

E: Was there a crazy moment where you forgot your lines? That you’re laying in bed and you’re like “which sentence do I have to say now?”

W: Yeah we’ve definitely had a lot of bloopers. Yeah forgetting lines or.. the thing is, as long as the director doesn’t say cut, you have to keep going. It’s a matter of "how do I improvise myself around this scene to get to the point we actually have to get to", because you have a scene and you have your lines, but if you forget something, then you do know the main lines of where the scene has to go to. You know the scene will end in a kiss or something and these subjects will be spoken about in the conversation, so when you forget your lines, you try to work your way through it as best as possible. And when the director says it wasn’t good, then we’ll do it again. I’ve had a lot of moments where I forgot my lines and I was laying in bed with Willem and we would look at each other and we’d know that I had to say something, but I was stuck, so there would be a 10 seconds silence, hoping for them to say cut. Yeah so those kinds of moments a lot or moments where I… I also had that with Déjà Vu. I remember… by the way it was amazing to work together with such big names as Natali Broods and Koen De Graeve. And Koen, lovely person, was kind of the father figure on set and we had a scene, next to the bed, a quite emotional scene. And the camera was focused on me, close up on my face. And I still remember that, the sound was going, everything, and Koen had just told a joke, or made a face that made me laugh. So, I had to laugh really hard, but I had to act very sad. It was an intense scene of goodbyes. All the time, starting to laugh about everything. I still remember for wtFock we made a video with bloopers and those are very fun to watch back.

37:03

E: Are those bloopers ever published somewhere online?

W: I don’t think so.

E: I think if you’d be able to release them somewhere that a lot of people would be interested in them.

W: Yes, yes. I don’t know why, indeed. The fans would be happy with those.

E: I think a lot of people- because we were just talking about your biggest fan.

W: My biggest-

E: Your grandma.

W: My grandma, yes. Big shout out to my grandma.

E: Do you think she’s watching right now?

W: She’ll definitely watch, I hope so.

E: What’s your grandma’s name?

W: Micheline.

E: Micheline, thank you very much for watching Micheline.

W: Micheline.

E: I appreciate it.

W: Women in power. She deserves a special place. No really, she follows all the fan accounts of wtFock. And then sometimes, or very often, we call and she gives me an update of what’s being said on the internet. Or yes, I also remember, when scenes come out and there’s things being said and she’s like "Willem, is that true, what are they saying?" And I say "Grandma, it’s nothing, it’s all from the show." "Ah okay, okay." So yes, very sweet grandma. She’s like the grandma where everything was allowed. I think that’s the same for everyone. At home, there are a lot of rules, and then you got to sleepover at your grandma’s and it was like: "Oh, I get to stay up later, and she made pudding for me." Her vanilla pudding-

E: That good?

W: Grandma, if you’re seeing this, please make some vanilla pudding when I visit.

E: Dude, everything’s falling out of my pocket.

W: You’re letting everything fall out of your pocket? Maybe you need to buy another pair of pants.

E: The chair is too comfortable that I’m kind of sinking in it, and now I constantly get-

W: The conversation’s too comfortable-

E: It’s just my phone, it’s vibrating, I think it just vibrated out of my pocket. So, silent, great. Eh, what were we talking about? About your grandma.

W: About my grandma.

38:46

E: Now, totally different subject. If you were a fish, what color fish would you be?

W: A fish?

E: Which color do you identify most with?

W: Eh.

E: And you’re a fish too of course.

W: Identify with which color. The thing is, I’m in the scouts. And in the Jins, that’s the last year before you become a leader, we were given a color totem, and the whole group decided on a color that fits you.

E: All right.

W: And mine was mango orange.

E: Wow, that’s cool.

W: Yeah, I thought it was cool too. And it means, if I have to think back, mango has quite a hard peel, relatively, but the fruit itself is quite soft. And that refers to my personality. I’m someone that lets people in fast, around me, but in the beginning, suspicion is a little strong, but kind of like, testing. Let’s say that. But once- From the outside I might look a bit hard. A lot of people say that when I have my straight face-

E: Resting bitch face.

W: That I’m angry. I was once told on the subway by a dude, and I was just listening to music, staring in the distance, and I think, suddenly a dude comes up to me, in French: "C’est quoi ton problème, heh, tu regardes come ça, c’est quoi ton problème." And I was like: "I’m sorry". Apparently, I was looking in his direction with my-

E: Bitch face.

W: Bitch face. He must have thought I was looking for problems. So yeah, that’s why the mango, a little hard on the outside, but once you get to know me better, a soft, sweet boy. So that’s why, orange. So, an orange fish then.

E: A little bit of Nemo vibes.

W: Yes, Nemo then. But let’s, what’s that theory. Did you hear that?

E: Theory?

W: About Nemo.

E: What’s the theory?

W: Haven’t you heard that? I keep seeing that online. I’m having a crisis. So the thing is, your childhood will get ruined.

E: Fuck man.

W: The thing is-

E: But there really are, no keep going, I have something I want to say afterwards.

W: The thing is, I’ve heard, that Nemo is Latin for nobody, and that the father is imagining that he still has an egg left, but that that fish doesn’t actually exist.

E: Oh fuck.

W: And that Dory joins him, and he sees, we’re actually not looking for anyone, but because he has memory issues, he constantly forgets that they’re not looking for anyone. So, they’re actually looking for nobody. And I saw that online and I was like.

E: Damn, so all the eggs are eaten, but he imagines that someone still has to be there.

W: Yes, something to keep living for.

E: Fuck man, that’s very brutal. That’s very fucked up.

W: Sorry to everyone for who Nemo is ruined now.

E: There’s a similar theory about Phineas and Ferb, and then Candice, their sister, is based on a true story about a girl that lost her brothers and still imagines that they're still doing stuff in the garden. And she keeps telling her mom: "Look, look, they are still here, they’re doing that." And that the mom says: "They’re not there." And that’s why she can never see that. You get it? Brutal right?

W: My whole childhood is ruined. Fucking hell.

E: That’s going to be the title of this podcast.

W: Childhood ruined.

E: We’re ruining your childhood.

42:17

W: We’re ruining your childhood. No but that’s good because, thankfully, I have a half-sister, but I say sister because I think half-sister is an ugly word, of seven years old. She thinks she’s 16. She’s a real diva.

E: Oh wow, okay.

W: She’s very, I’ll tell you a story later, but the thing is, I experience all those things with her again. In the beginning it was like, turning the tv on, Bumba, again. And I could secretly watch with her without feeling guilty. I was like, I’m watching Bumba and secretly I’m enjoying it, but sssh, I’m just watching it with my sister.

E: That exactly.

W: And now it’s Ketnet, like Hoodie, those series that she’s watching. And yes, I notice that because of all the technology today, she has an iPad, she’s on YouTube, she’s watching those self-made crafts.

E: 7 years old?

W: 7 years old, yes.

E: Wow.

W: She watches those- where people are playing with Barbies and they make a little play with them online on YouTube and they do stuff. Yes, a tablet. She has an iPad that’s bigger than her head. That makes me think- well, an iPad is usually bigger than everyone’s head. Or well, almost.

E: Not if you have a mini of course.

W: Her head isn’t that big.

E: Okay.

W: She’s on it a lot though. But she’s a real diva. I think the best story I have, there’s multiple. I remember the story, we were sitting at the table and she was having another moment of "I’m the princess, and everyone can leave because I do what I want and fuck you all". But the thing is, there’s five kids at home. I have a brother and two stepbrothers. So, she has four brothers, and she knows very well that she has four brothers. And that makes her feel even more like she’s the princess at home. So, we were sitting at the table. And she kept staring at my dad like this while throwing her cutlery on the ground. Like "what are you going to do". And my dad was like: "Liv," because her name is Liv by the way, "stop that."

E: That wasn’t nice of Liv. (Liv sounds the same as lief which means nice in Dutch.)

W: No. Not nice of-

E: Haha. Sorry.

W: Badam pam ts. Can’t we put that under here. Yes.

E: No, sorry, keep going.

W: So, he was like: "Liv, stop that, stop that." He started to get annoyed, because she kept going. "Liv, what is so hard to understand about no." And then it got silent at the table so I thought, okay, it’s done. The o.

E: Oh wow.

W: 7 years old and she drops that.

E: Oh wow.

W: And I thought, okay.

E: Damn bro.

W: The o. That she even dares to say that. Yeah, and she has those moments. She was sitting at the table, with her mask on, eating. So, she pulled her mask down to eat, and then she was chewing with her mask on. And then I asked: "Liv, why are you wearing your mask?" "Yes, you came back from Ghent, you’re not in my bubble."

E: Okay, okay.

W: So, then I said: "Okay, that’s fine." It’s crazy how that goes around among young children. Because my sister came back home from school crying once. And I asked her: ‘Liv, what’s wrong?’ "Yes, my friends didn’t let me play with them." So, I was like: "Why?" "Margot says I’m not allowed in her bubble."

E: Oh wow.

W: See, that’s becoming the new- we played with Pokémon cards on the playground and now it’s about playing games in bubbles because it’s so-

E: Damn.

W: Yes, you’re only allowed to have four people in your bubble so we don’t play with more than four.

E: Oh wow.

W: So I found that kind of crazy, or confronting that it made me think like, even at such a young age it has an impact. And I know that the-

E: That it leaves an impression.

W: Yes, and I know that my dad-

E: It’s sad that children have to think about it.

W: Yes, exactly.

E: Well, it’s not that- everyone should think about it of course.

W: Yes, yes, of course. It’s also that I know the way my dad feels about raising, that he tells Liv straight up about things that are happening in the world. He doesn’t make things seem nicer, or saying, eh, yes, no, but that’s- The classic story of how babies are made, with the cauliflowers, and what not.

E: I also just think-

W: How am I going to explain that to my kids?

E: If you don’t make it a taboo to start with, is it that bad? It’s just- it’s just. Oh well, that’s a whole other conversation.

W: Yes, no, definitely.

E: But straight up just telling what’s going on to your kids. I think I would prefer that to making up a story about the flowers and the bees.

W: Yes, yes.

E: Because the story about the flowers and the bees, I don’t even know how you actually- pollinating and stuff, is that what that means?

W: You do it like this, pollinating.

E: Yes, no, exactly.

W: Yes, but well, children, that’s still a long time from now.

E: Do you want kids, you think, later?

W: Yes, please.

E: Do you think you would be a good father?

W: I hope I would be a good father. Despite my parents’ divorce, I really do… I do look up to my parents. I’m proud of the way they raised me. So yeah if I would be a good father… sometimes, but maybe that’s the age, kids frustrate me. I’m a leader in the scouts for the Welpen and Welpen -great guys- but they can also be annoying and say “I’m not participating” and “that’s a stupid game, can we do something else?” and I’m like “we invest so much time in this and so much preparation, please participate” so sometimes that bothers me. But I would prefer not to have just one (child). Certainly more than one because… are you an only child?

E: No I have a little brother.

W: Yeah only child… with all due respect to people who are only children but sometimes I think… for example, I’m very happy that I have a brother. Not that it wouldn’t be fun without a brother per se, but I don’t know, the contact I have with my brother is nice.

E: The thing is, you don’t know what you’re missing so it’s hard to miss it I guess. But I do think that my brother has been a great added value to my life.

W: Yeah, yeah.

E: In the same way, I never really had grandparents. They all died before I was born and the grandfather I did have was quite old when I was actually aware that I had a grandfather. So I’ve never really had the grandparents experience that you see with family gatherings and stuff. But I don’t feel like I’ve missed anything but I still know how much other people benefit from having grandparents. Also what you just said about how often you call each other and stuff. I think that’s the same with being an only child. If you don’t have any brothers or sisters, you don’t know what it’s like to have that, what you’re missing. But if you do have it, it’s an added value I think.

W: Yes, exactly. No that’s true. My brother is very helpful to me now. I know that I can count on him.

E: Older or younger by the way?

W: Older.

E: A lot older?

W: 21.

E: 21.

W: Oh boy I had to think about how old my brother is. Embarrassing. Love you man. No but we had - maybe you had that too – but when we were younger, we really fought.

E: Physical?

W: Real fighting. Yeah, it’s has now gotten much better. I think we understand each other a lot better, but it used to be real… we had Catch WW on the Wii and we reenacted that on the couch so that was… “In the right corner Ramy Stereo” and we were bare-chested and both had one boxing glove on and fighting each other until one of us cried, bled or gave up. Usually it was me.

E: That’s just the fate of the little brother.

W: I always went… I’ve never admitted that actually, [whispers] it’s a confession. I’ve never admitted it, but afterwards I always went to my parents and cried “Kwinten hurt me”.

E: That’s really… that’s the moment, you feel it coming and you think “ah fuck no, if I hit again it’s probably over but I want to…” [cross-talk] “no no no don’t tell mom! Don’t tell mom!” I think I was a pretty nice big brother. We often did shit together. We were at home playing on the couch together and Olaf bumps into a large box that was standing there and the box, bigger than Olaf back then, fell down on his hand.

W: Oh shit.

E: So Olaf broke his hand. And I thought “I made him jump over those chairs” and then you have to say “sorry sorry don’t tell them, don’t tell them!” but yeah if your hand is fucking broken, you’re not gonna stop crying because your big brother says “don’t cry”. Yeah, that are…

W: Yes, but the relationship [between Willem and his brother] has improved. Okay we still have our discussions but... I think moments like when we’ve both been to a pub or something and we come home at the same time and we’re always hungry and standing in the kitchen making sandwiches. Those are great moments. I don’t necessarily need to have emotionally heavy of deep conversations with my brother to know that he’s there and that I can have a good time with him. So I think that’s the added value of having a brother or brothers in general.

E: Do you guys also have a specific sense of humor? Or like those moments when the two of you are laughing and your parents or people around you think “what the fuck is going on?”

W: Yeah we speak some slang to each other for fun. Like “stu stu” and [my slang knowledge is very limited so I have no idea what he’s saying here lol], those kinds of things. Typical slang from Brussels and Leuven. It’s funny because my parents are always like “why are you talking to each other like that?” and recently, I was leaving and my mom said “stu stu!” so they are adopting those words and then my brother and I can’t stop laughing.

E: Also if your mom suddenly says “are we going to chill later?” and I’m like [laughing] “what? Mom!”

W: “Okay??”

E: It’s kind of cute. Yeah it’s fun. And what are… I almost want to go deep like…

W: That’s okay.

E: Is there a particular interaction or experience you’ve had with your brother that sums up your relationship right now? Or are those the moments when you’re laughing and eating at night? It doesn’t have to be a super deep or emotional moment.

W: I think it’s an accumulation of those moments and emotional moments too. For example, after it was over with my ex. I was really down back then, it hit me pretty hard. Those are the moments when I can walk into my brother’s room in the middle of the night and he’s there for me. I know that dude is always going to be there when something’s wrong, no matter how much we argue or how much we shit at each other. I just know, and I hope he does too, that I can call him 24/7, walk into his room 24/7 and he will be there or ready to listen. I think that’s just something… the fact that we know that about each other, that creates that bond. And the thing is, if only he would do his best and go to work, earn real money… because we went on holiday together and he still hasn’t… he still has some work to do but we’ve already planned something. I’m really looking forward to it. We’re planning to go surfing in Portugal together. Those are moments I just know I can go somewhere with him and have the time of my life without-

E: …That you can remember for the rest of your life what you did together.

W: Yeah, absolutely. Those moments that I want to cherish or want to keep or experience.

E: My little brother is also just the most annoying dude on this planet who I love the most.

W: Exactly that combination. Annoying, but you love them.

E: Of course. The cameras are back on. That means we’ve been at it for over 50 minutes.

W: 50 minutes? It feels like we’re chatting for 20 minutes.

E: Exactly.

W: Pleasant.

E: That’s good. If it’s pleasant and the stress is gone.

W: Do you actually like me? “No I hate you. We’re going to finish. It has been good.”

55:29

E: No we’re not going to finish yet, but before we do, is there anything you’d like to send out into the world before we finish? On average there are 10 to 50 people watching. Is there anything you want to say to them?

W: To the 10 to 50 people?

E: Yes.

W: 10 to 50 people, you are awesome. No, what I’m saying… maybe a little deep but it doesn’t matter. Very often in your life you are going to encounter that you run into a wall, that you’re going to have setbacks, that you think “I don’t want to anymore, I can’t to this anymore, life is all one big shit show” but I think that there is a certain… at least I believe that – everyone has their own opinion of course- that a certain path has been mapped out for everyone. Not necessarily that things are set in stone but there is a road that you are going to take and that road is going to have curves, is going to have hills, is going to have valleys, is going to have everything. Maybe it’s a gravel path, maybe rocks you stumble over but -it sounds a bit stupid- put on your best walking shoes and just walk that path the best way you can. Just try to live life with complete joy and euphoria because you’re 100% worth it. No matter what other people say or think about your ideology or style or way of life. Everyone is entitled to it or should be given the opportunity to be appreciated for who they are. I think that’s something we do too little in this society, but yeah.

E: Just don’t be too hard on yourself in the end?

W: Yeah, don’t be too hard on yourself. A lot of people blame themselves too much. Or “oh I’m like that and I don’t fit in because of that” or something. Then I think: so be it.

E: Do you sometimes feel that you should do more or have achieved more at this age? Of course you’re already doing a lot of cool shit but social media, I know there is a highlight reel of all people’s achievements and that sometimes it’s very difficult to filter between what is real and how much is that person actually sitting on the couch doing nothing. Do you sometimes feel that because of social media of because of your environment or I don’t know, that you’re not doing enough?

W: Gosh, sometimes I think my life is too full.

E: Too full?

W: Not that I’m saying “oh I have so many things to do” but I’m like... I’m letting that grow organically or so.

E: Not putting too much pressure on yourself?

W: Not putting too much pressure on yourself. I’m doing a course now that I’d like to finish because I’ve had those two projects and there are friends of mine who say “why are you still studying? You’ve had your opportunity, you’re going to get new opportunities right?” and I say “hey! I’m also only 19”. Sometimes I think “fuck Willem you should have achieved more already” but I also think I’m only 19. There was a conversation at school… I really think that’s one of the added values of the course. We receive an observation report twice a year, 5 pages where the teacher writes about you and how they see you, what they think about you, what your qualities are, what you still need to work on. It’s always spot on. So strange how they can just see right through you, even though I sometimes try to hide it. Yeah, where was I going with this… we had subsequent conversation about it and I said to my teacher “sometimes I feel like I’m too young for this course” that I have too little life experience. There are people in my class who are in their 20s or older, who have already studied something else before this, have read a lot more, seen a lot more than me, a lot more experience and I think “fuck, I don’t have anything”. People talk about certain topics and I don’t follow at all. I mentioned that I felt too young and she [the teacher] said “you’re young, but that also has its advantages. Your youthfulness can actually be an interesting tool in this course and look at it from a different perspective”. So I’m convinced: don’t be too hard on yourself, don’t think “whew, I’m already 20 and I haven’t achieved anything yet” so to speak. I even saw a video recently where… “if you don’t make it in your 20s, you might make it in your 30s and if you don’t make it in your 30s, you might make it in your 40s”. There are so many… there really are a lot of people… people often forget that there are people who only find out what they want to do or discover their passion later in life.

E: And also just… I think it’s so ridiculous that you set certain goals for a certain age or something. That it’s so expected that by 18 you must have completed high school and by 25 you must have had your first job interview, by 28/30 you must have a house and a serious relationship where you’re committed to for the rest of your life and by 40 you must have already had a promotion, that you can provide for yourself and fix your pension. All those fucking predetermined milestones. I think that’s kind of bullshit, you know?

W: Absolutely.

E: If that were the case, then I should graduate in a few years so to speak while I’m clearly not studying here because I have – fuck normally I have a re-exam today. And here we are.

W: Here we are.

E: I knew I was doing this but I mean that’s just… there’s so much time. I’m 22 now and I’m doing some shit, if I go nuts now or people don’t want to listen to this podcast anymore, don’t want to see what I do online, okay then I have to look elsewhere. But I did this and I went for it and I tried. I’m 22. Even if I go nuts now and it’s all gone, I’m only 22. There are still so many ways it could go. A lot of people don’t have a job at 22. If I started looking for a new job or something now, hopefully I’ll have one by 25. Then it’s still okay because I’m only 25. I don’t know, I always find that… I could go on for a long time about this. I think those predetermined milestones/goals of things that you must have achieved by a certain age, I just think it’s bullshit.

W: I sometimes make the comparison that people too often see life as the sports world. Football players who are good until 35 and then they are done. As if you must have already performed before that age. That’s not how it works. You really have all the time and you really don’t have to stress. I also notice that many people… you mentioned re-exams. That people say “fuck I have re-exams, oh no I’m not going to pass, oh no you have extra…” chill. You do your best, but suppose you have to repeat a year, that’s not a disaster either, is it?

E: What I also think is crazy is how many people have studied law and you eventually hear that they ended up in a marketing agency because they found it much more interesting. When I talk to some people who… I was seeing a social media manager recently [laughs] “seeing”, I was talking to him.

W: “seeing” okay [laughs].

E: I was talking to him.

W: [joking] Ender has something to say.

E: And I asked “what did you study?” and he said biochemistry. “How the fuck did you end up here?” Him: “uh yeah that just wasn’t the right fit for me. I have a master’s degree but I started working here because I found it much more interesting”. I thought: why am I pretending that the degree I’m trying to get is going to determine the rest of my life, you know?

W: Absolutely.

E: If there are so many people now… because he was only 28 or something. So I thought “aah okay so you’ve been studying biochemistry for so many years and now you’re here – I don’t know if I’m talking about the correct position – but now you’re just sitting here making content. Cool. But why do I attach so much importance to that one direction I’m studying right now that doesn’t even have anything to do with media or anything. I mean I’m very interested in media, I’m studying economics. Which is also interesting, but that’s not what I see myself doing in the coming years.

W: Yeah, yeah.

E: Anyway enough about me. Do you think you could win in a fight against a cow?

W: [laughs] I really like that. You can switch to totally different shit like that. Like before you suddenly asked what color fish do you want to be. Okay. That’s nice. Win… I’ve heard if you knock over a cow it dies. That it has a heart attack then. We don’t want to kill cows okay!

E: And purely hypothetical, you’re just standing in a kind of meadow so it’s not super big so you can’t go in all directions. There is a limited domain. You come face to face with that cow and you have to begin. No weapons. You’re standing there and the cow stands there and you both know you’re going to fight.

W: It knows that too?

E: It knows that too.

W: [makes mooing noises] okay ca va.

E: It’s not a bull but it does have horns so in fact it would-

W: I would shit my pants. I’d give up already. I would lie on the ground, come on. Really crazy, I saw Jackass recently. Those guys, that Wee Man, who was in that link with the bull and he’s being catapulted, so to speak.

E: I don’t understand how those guys aren’t all dead yet.

W: Yeah they are really crazy.

E: There was also a rumor that Wee Man died from a bowling ball during… but apparently that wasn’t true.

W: I don’t know.

E: Fucked up shit. Would you win against a cow?

W: Would I win against a cow? No, I wouldn’t win against a cow. I don’t think I would win against a cow.

E: I think I would. I think just like with a bull I would try to jump out of the way like that and once you’re on the side it’s just a matter of pushing. If what you said is true, it’s game over when it’s down and you know, that’s your tactic.

W: But the thing is, a cow is heavy, isn’t it?

E: True.

W: You can’t just push it over like that, can you?

E: Sure, but it’s a matter of life or death, isn’t it? The adrenaline rush. You have to image, a cow just comes running towards you. The adrenaline that goes through your body. You shouldn’t underestimate the power you have then.

W: Just find the best patch of grass and when it’s there, sneaky knife in the back. No, now people are going to think I’m that kind of person.

E: That you’re just a snake.

W: Snake. Definitely and I admit it. No, that would be fucked up.

E: I’m going to do one more thing that’s important. I’m going to find a Twitter shout out and in the meantime, I already asked you what your message is to the world and that was a beautiful message. Got something more banal that you’d like to share? Something that you want to share from your social media or something?

W: What do you mean from social media?

E: Where they can follow you. You can say something if you have a really good video that you want to share. “Check me everywhere”.

W: No I don’t have… people should do what they feel like doing. Do you think I’m cool, do you think I’m fun, follow me on Insta. No really doesn’t matter. Doesn’t really matter.

E: Alright, I’m just going to scroll and you say stop. I’ll go back and forth and you have to say “yes that’s the one who gets to have this week’s shout out”.

W: Exciting huh. Stop.

E: [reads twitter account] M. Verschuren.

W: M. Verscheure.

E: Is that…

W: [reads quote] “If you were never sad, you wouldn’t know you could be happy”.

E: Wow. Damn bro.

W: I’m going to edit my quote.

E: “If you were never sad, you wouldn’t know you could be happy”. Wow. If you didn’t have shitty days, you wouldn’t know what the best days of your life were.

W: Exactly. But what if you get stuck in your shitty days for the rest of your life?

E: That won’t happen. That’s my biggest fear.

W: Me too.

E: Looking back at your life and thinking-

W: …Fuck I’ve never been there again.

E: …That’s where I peeked. Hope that doesn’t happen. Anyway M. Verscheure thank you very much for listening, I really appreciate it. You as well, I think?

W: Absolutely, absolutely. How much were you going to pay me?

E: 50 euro.

W: Then I’ll come… awesome. Super cool.

E: Thank you so much to everyone who listened. I appreciate it. If you want to hear more you can always subscribe to this channel. It’s also good for my ego. I’ll just put your Instagram link in the description, for people who are interested. Okay, that was it.

W: Thanks, it was fun.

E: There’s an audio only episode on Spotify every Sunday and the video comes out on Monday. That’s it. See you next Monday. Or Sunday. Peace.

#wtfock #willem de schryver

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