#Especially in college when you're too tired to give as much of a fuck

[mathemagiks]

I once saw Ehn drop some food onto the floor, watched Rascal run over and attempt to nibble it, then picked it back up and ate it himself!

"H-hey! It was still good! Rascal's not exactly drooly, y'know, being an aetheric creature and all... a-and he's basically a part of me anyway, so it's not like it's gross...?"

[rafeandonlyrafe]

captive

words: 3.2k

warnings: 18+ only, smut, dark!rafe but he has soft moments hes trying, drugged!reader, kidnapping, DUB/NONCON, male receiving oral, female receiving oral, biting, nipple play, p in v sex, unprotected sex, anal sex, forced drug intake, snorting cocaine, smoking weed, poppers, mentions of pregnancy

“nooo.” you moan out, eyelids blinking heavily as you stare at the white powder along rafes finger. “im already-”

“no.” rafe says harshly, cutting off your protests. “i saw the way you were looking at the door. are you trying to leave me?”

“rafe-” you plead, but then his hand clamps harshly over your mouth, so tight no air could possibly get in. his finger presses against your nose, furious eyes watching yours as he waits for you to give up and inhale.

you feel dizzy, dizzy from the drugs already in your system and the lack of oxygen as you finally inhale, taking in the sweet air along with the drugs.

“that's it.” rafe pulls his hand away as you take in deep gulps of oxygen, scooping you up effortlessly as you recover and placing you down on the bed.

rafe keeps one eye on you as he prepares the room for nighttime, shutting the curtains and switching on lamps to bathe the room in soft light. he grabs your pajamas from the dresser, knowing he's just going to tear them off you later.

rafes foot falls are soft against the lush rug as he heads back over to the bed. “baby.” he says harshly when he sees your eyes are closed, tapping your cheek with increased hardness until your eyes open.

“im so tired.” you complain. “took too much.”

rafe just sighs. it's no more than he's given you on other days. the drugs keep you pliable, harmless, unable to escape. 

rafe can't let you leave him. he knows it's wrong, but he just needs to keep you fucked up enough until you forget that you want to leave in the first place. forget that your sweet boyfriend quickly turned evil when you told him you were leaving for college.

“stay awake, bunny.” rafe says. “it's what you get for trying to leave me.”

“the door is locked anyways.” you mumble. “even if i was looking at it i couldn't have left.”

you managed one time to twist the doorknob. to hear and feel the lock stop you. all your drugged up mind could manage was to turn back and lie in bed.

“do you want a little bedtime snack?” rafe asks, watching as you perk up, nodding enthusiastically.

rafe moves your body, manipulates it to the position he wants as you're laid sideways on the bed, head tipped back over the edge.

“dick first then ill get you a different snack.” rafe says, watching your eyes flutter in attempt to stay open as he tugs at his zipper, undoing his shorts and pushing them down along with his underwear in one quick movement.

“i can't.” you reach out and grip rafes thighs, head barely able to hold up as you look in his eyes with pleading in yours. “ill choke. im too-”

rafes hips plunge forward, pressing the length of his cock all down your face as your head falls, the next thrust sinking into your mouth as you resign to your task.

you focus on breathing through your nose as his cock repeatedly enters your mouth, somehow able to find enough compassion in himself to slowly build up his thrusts so he's not immediately down your throat.

“that's a good girl.” rafe coos, the praise making your head spin as you keep your hands gripped on his thighs.

rafes hands reach for your cheeks, pressing them together as he presses fully in now with every thrust, watching his cock bulge against your throat.

rafe lets out loud moans, unashamed of his vocality. it's not like you have enough mentality to judge him for it, especially not with the wet and choking sounds coming from you.

rafe does keep one eye on your chest. watching your heartbeat through the low cut shirt he put you in this morning. just in case. you mean far too much to rafe to let anything truly happen to you, even if it means him keeping you high as kite and locked away in his bedroom.

“close baby.” rafe tells you. he's never able to hold himself back for long when he gets you in a position like this. “so tight for me.”

rafe is fucking your mouth with as much furosity as he does your pussy, not worried about your teeth possibly scraping, knowing he's taught you well enough that they're covered with your tongue and lips. even though you've been his captive for almost a month now, that doesn't change the fact that you'd never want to hurt rafe.

rafe lets out a string of harsh curses and the feel of his cock swelling in your mouth is all you need to know he's about to cum.

you move one hand that's on his muscular thigh to his balls, fondling them the best you can. it's the final touch rafe needs as he shouts out your name, hips pressing forward as he cums deep down your throat, watching the way his cock twitches and pours out semen under the thin layer of your skin.

“shit!” rafe curses loudly, hand moving to squeeze your throat, giving the extra tightness he needs for one last pump of cum inside of you before he pulls out.

you quickly turn over, flipping onto your stomach as you cough and sputter, deep wheezing breaths filling your lungs fully.

“oh, my good girl.” rafe helps you to lay back properly on the bed, giving you soft kisses along your cheeks and forehead as you recover.

his soft side is always a surprise, in so much contrast to how he normally treats you. he just wants you to stay good and pliable all the time, tired of when you act out or defy him.

“now time for that snack, yeah?” rafe says. 

he leaves the room, and you listen for that telltale sound of him locking the door behind him, but it doesn't come. you blink harshly, trying to force yourself to stand, to let your legs carry you out, but your stomach growls, knowing rafe will keep you well fed, and your pussy clenches, knowing rafe will fill it later, and you stay laid on the bed.

rafe enters moments later with a pleased look on his face. it may have been only minutes, and you may have been strung out, but he was just able to leave the door unlocked and came back to find you in the exact same position he left you in.

“crackers?” rafe offers you, helping you sit up and schooch back to lean against the headboard.

you take the bowl as rafe checks your water bottle is still full before standing up and locking the door, slipping the key into his pocket. he made sure to get double side locks, reinforced to keep you secured.

“im going to take a quick shower.” rafe says, leaving you to finish the snack on your own. you eat quickly, munching down the food to satisfy your drug addled mind.

you set the bowl down on your nightstand when you're done, eyes turning to the pajamas laid against the bench at the end of the bed, knowing rafe intends to dress you himself when he gets back. 

he's never able to control himself when he sees you naked. it's why every time after he's finished putting your clothes on that he has to rip them right back off. why every time he helps you bathe or shower that he ends up fucking you all wet. every time your shirt slips up your stomach or shorts ride too short and you're unable to fix it in your state, that rafe ends up getting you naked and worshiping your body.

“y/n.” rafe calls your attention up to him as your eyes refocus, having drifted off at some point. rafe is standing in just a towel, wrapped snuggly across his waist.

“do you need another hit?” he questions, not wanting you to fall asleep, he likes when you're awake while he takes you, so he can see the fire behind your eyes. “or a joint?”

“yeah.” you nod. “a joint.”

you hope rafe will smoke it with you. you like when rafe gets high. his feral movements slow down, his thrusts become softer and kisses tamer.

rafe heads over to the locked cabinet, putting in the code before opening it up and grabbing a few things out. you watch with half horror and half fascination as rafes long slender fingers roll the joint before lighting it, the lighter briefly brightening the room in orange haze.

“here ya go.” rafe sticks one end between your lips, allowing you to inhale deeply. rafe is pleased, already such a quick turn around from having to force you less than an hour ago to snort.

“you're getting so obedient.” rafe says softly, wishing he could get you to be obedient at all times and not just when you're fucked up. then maybe he can let you out of the room, slowly expand your privileges.

“mhm.” you hum, closing your eyes as you lean forward and inhale deeply again. you turn your head to the side to blow out the smoke, pushing it away from rafe.

you keep huffing and exhaling until the room smells like weed. you're not sure what the combination of drugs in your system does to you, but it has you looking at rafe with softer eyes, forgetting that he's the one forcing you to snort various powders and pop pulls, just thinking about him as the one who brings you snacks and cuddles you.

“pajamas?” you ask rafe once the joint it almost gone, watching him head to the bathroom to damp it out in some water and toss it.

“yeah.” rafe grabs your pajamas, a very immodest and revealing matching set of shorts and a tank top.

you stay slack against the bed, letting rafe pull off your t-shirt and undo your bra, his eyes staying on your tits as he tosses your clothes into the hamper. he doesn't touch them yet, despite his fingers twitching with need.

he moves onto your pants yet, tugging your yoga pants off and discarding them so you're in just your underwear.

“my favorite pair.” rafe says softly, though really any of your thongs are his favorite. his hands push your thighs open and you don't resist when his finger presses against your core and swipes up, putting pressure right on your clit.

you let out a moan as your back arches, but as quickly as rafe began touching you, he stops, and then pulls your shorts up your legs.

“thank you.” you reach your arms up, body calling out to rafe, craving him. rafe scoops you up into his lap, snuggling his nose into your neck.

“just relax.” rafe says, hands petting over your body until one inevitably slips between your thighs. he keeps his hands away from your core, teasing you with soft strokes.

rafes thumb and pointer finger suddenly pinch together with your flesh caught inside, but you barely even react to the sudden burst of pain. it's how rafe can tell you're truly ready for him.

“gonna lay you back.” rafe narrates as he places you on the bed, standing over you while you stare up at him, waiting for what the first strike is going to be. what area of your body he's going to pounce on first.

it starts with tearing your shorts down, bearing your pussy to him yet again. a pleased smile stretches across rafes features when he sees you're already wet from his teasing.

“wanna taste you.” rafe lays himself down on the bed, still only covered in the towel, hair slightly damp that you'd want to run your fingers through if your arms weren't noodles.

rafe doesn't often eat you out. in a way, it feels like a reward as he leans in, mouth covering your clit. his tongue pokes out, tapping at your clit as you let out soft moans and mewls.

“so yummy.” rafe praises you, mouth sinking to your entrance, slurping at the juices built up there.

his little fuck kitten, his baby, his captive and his girlfriend, even if you did attempt to break up with him. he's never let you truly lose the title.

rafe doesn't stay laid on his stomach for long. while his incessantly licking through your folds feels good, it doesn't suit him anymore once your taste has already coated his tongue.

rafes kisses lead up your stomach, mouth pressing against your skin as his head pushes up your shirt until it's barely covering your chest. his hands push the loose tank top the rest of the way off your body.

rafe presses kisses to each of your nipples, watching them bloom and perk up right before his eyes. his smile grows as he widens his teeth and sinks them around your nipple, biting down before giving a hearty tug that has you crying out the most you can, a strangled mix between a moan and a cry.

rafe repeats the same bite and pull on the other side, then back and forth, then back and forth again, until your high dulls it out and you don't even react.

once your eyebrow doesn't even twitch in pain, rafe moves on, his hands pushing your thighs apart again as he kneels between them on the bed, tugging at the white towel as it falls away to reveal his hard cock.

“you're being so docile for me today.” rafe says like it's supposed to be praise, even though a sick feeling twists in your gut. “how about i try out your other hole today?”

your eyes widen and you try to sit up slightly. “i-”

“yeah, i think i will try it.” rafe says with a grin, reaching over to the bedside table and scrounging through the drawer until he finds the little bottle he's looking for.

rafe considers strapping you down to help you keep your legs open, but he likes the idea of you being unrestricted by bonds and rather too blissed out to move.

“turn over for me.” rafe commands, helping you flip onto your stomach. rafe grips your ass in his hands, massaging your plump flesh and watching it jiggle before he tugs your hips upward into the air.

he manages to get you to balance somewhat as he spreads your cheeks apart, looking at your little puckered hole just waiting to squeeze around his cock.

rafe takes the bottle of poppers and unwinds them, pressing them towards your face as he waits for you to inhale. you don't try to resist this time, knowing the drugs will only relax your muscles more and make things more pleasurable, even if the smell is so strong it causes your entire body to jolt.

rafe grunts out some praise that you barely hear or take in as he screws the bottle closed and lines up his cock with your entrance.

he's able to push in easily, knowing the drugs will only keep you open and relaxed for a few minutes. 

rafe presses his hips right into your bum, lodging himself as deep as he can inside of you. “knew your ass would feel great.” he says, tapping your bum in spankings that you barely register.

rafe begins to move, his strokes deep and slow as he fucks you. his hands grip your hips tightly, keeping you held up just how he wants you.

you let out a strangled noise as the muscle relaxers wear off, your previous untouched hole clenching tightly around rafes length.

rafe curses harshly as you tighten around him, almost squeezing so intensely that its not pleasurable, but he's determined to work you through it.

he slowly increases the rhythm of his hips fucking into you, building up until he's fucking you with the furosity that he does your pussy on a nightly basis.

“jesus.” rafe grunts out, listening to your tiny whimpers and moans that you can't help releasing. “do you like this baby?”

you try to open your mouth to answer, but all you do is allow drool to slide down your chin, no words actually coming out. you're not sure if you like it, or it the drugs are just dulling out the pain and leaving the pleasure.

“where do you want me to cum though bunny?” rafe asks, bending down to speak into your ear. “surely you want me to fuck your pussy, yeah? get you pregnant?”

there's no way a pregnancy would ever last with the amount of drugs consistently flooding your system, but rafe likes to think about it. another way to get you to stay, another reason to never leave him.

you manage to shake your head in some way that forms a nod. rafe quickly switches holes like it's nothing, pushing into your pussy and keeping the exact same pace in your cunt that he did your ass.

“too much?” rafe asks, hoping you say yes, his smile stretching when you give the vague halfish nod again. you're so beyond overwhelmed that you still haven't shut your mouth, a wet spot of drool forming on the bedsheets to add to the wet spot from your dripping pussy.

rafe takes the bottle of poppers again, holding it to your nose. you don't even realize that he's done it until the smell hits your nose and your body jolts.

rafe chuckles at your reaction, forcing two fingers into your asshole, pumping them in contrast to the timing of his hips pushing forward, causing even more stimulation to flood your senses.

“i bet if i just tap your clit you'd cum, huh?” rafe questions.

it's a juggle to overstimulate you from every angle, but rafe manages to reach down with his other hand, but instead of tapping it like he said, he pinches your bud, holding it tightly between your fingertips as you let out a squeal.

“knew it.” rafe chuckles as he feels you pussy pulsate around him, squeezing and fluttering as your orgasm suddenly hits, juices flooding and soaking rafe and the bedsheets below you as your pussy gushes.

rafe regrets pulling out of your other hole as it clenches down on his fingers, but he's satisfied with shoving deep inside of you and pumping you full of his cum.

rafe let's out a moan that sounds almost like your name, but the sudden force of your orgasm has caused your ears to stop working along with seemingly every other part of your body.

rafe pulls out and lets you slump onto your side. he gives you a quick check to make sure you're still breathing before heading back to the bathroom to clean himself off. 

he doesn't bother with you, knowing you'll sleep off your high and walk up after noon to clean yourself and restart the cycle all over again.

“can't wait to do that again tomorrow baby.” rafe says, pressing a kiss your lips despite them still being slackened apart.

rafe pulls you into him as he lays under the covers, feeling your naked bodies touching, skin to skin.

“goodnight.” rafe whispers, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

you try to stay awake. maybe you can get away when he goes to sleep, maybe, maybe, maybe, but your head spins and eyes droop closed, falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.

[sluttylittlewaistenthusiast]

╰┈➤ 18+ none of these stories belong to me! this is a masterlist of all the fanfics i’ve read and reblogged! just thought it would be nice to have them all in one spot! (if your fic is on here and you wish not to be, please let me know!) some will have summaries if provided <3

╰┈➤ a/n: 2022 me would skin me alive if she ever found out im being vocal abt liking eddie munson

ᡣ𐭩 how you can help palestine . fic recs m.list

@lokis-army-77

⭒ Cozy

Waking up the day after Eddie has fucked your brains out you have a little more fun.

⭒ Private Viewing

What happens when your favorite camboy is in your class? You should stop watching his content... or should you? What happens when you are eventually paired together for a project? Everything will be just fine, won't it?

@eddiemunsons-missingnipple

⭒ Next Caller

Eddie hosts a late night radio show for his college campus, where he discusses various different topics. He's mostly known for his DnD and sex talk segments. You've been a long-time listener who works up the courage to finally call in for some help.

⭒ You Look Lonely

Eddie finally had it all, success, money, and fame. There was still one tiny problem he had.

@ceriseheaven

⭒ Cockwarming with older!Eddie (blurb)

@natti-ice

⭒ “Let me taste you” (blurb)

⭒ "B-baby please, I'm gonna-" (blurb)

@msgexymunson

⭒ Shotgun

You're on a camping trip with your two friends, and the scariest guy from school: Eddie Munson. A few beers and some weed change the way you look at him however. Maybe he's not so scary after all. Cocky, oh yes, but not scary. Especially the way your legs start to squeeze together at the sight of him. But, does he like you, or is this some cruel game to play on the innocent band geek? 

⭒ Benefits

Your best friend Eddie starts to look very appealing to you, but if you suggest a dynamic change, will he go for it?

⭒ Soft Touches

you and your dealer Eddie get a little closer than anticipated.

⭒ The Ink Shop

Desperate for a job, you answer an advertisement not knowing it's a tattoo shop. It's not particularly difficult work, except for one thing: having to deal with Eddie Munson.  

@eddiethefreakkmunson

⭒ Not So Accidental Invitations

Tired of ignoring your ever growing attraction to your roommate Eddie you "accidentally" send him a partial nude, his reaction is everything you had hoped it would be and more...

@bimbobaggins69

⭒ Love in the Locker Room

you go into the boys locker room with a plan to steal the polaroids your now ex boyfriend took of you to show off to his friends, but the last thing you suspected was to be met with Eddie ‘the freak’ Munson and his very big friend.

@luveline

⭒ Topaz, Lime, Ruby Red

Eddie has a staring problem that you barely notice, though you share an aching, awful crush. One of you has to bend first, and it’s not who you’d expect.

⭒ Is It Getting Too Much?

you finally work up the courage to kiss Eddie for the first time and he can’t cope (even if he claims he can).

⭒ If It Barks

You don’t mean to make an enemy of Eddie Munson — he’s handsome and talented, but he’s the biggest jerk you’ve ever met. Eddie thinks you’re infuriatingly pretty, emphasis on the infuriating.

part one | part two | part three | part four |

⭒ Was That So Hard?

Your best friend Eddie tries to explain what a hickey feels like and finds he doesn't have the words. He could show you, though, if you want?

⭒ Dark Matter

You ask your best friend Eddie to give you your first kiss. Eddie's not really in the habit of saying no to you.

⭒ Something Extra

You're having trouble sleeping and pot seems like the only solution. Good thing your dealer, Eddie Munson, knows of another method that he's willing to to teach you. You get more than you bargained for when he tells you what he gets off to every night - you.

@usedtobecooler

⭒ Desperate!Eddie (blurb)

⭒ eddie "monstercock" munson

eddie ‘monstercock’ munson, who is painfully unaware of the sheer size of his dick.

@munson-blurbs

⭒ Dark and Stormy

A missing key and a terrible storm leaves you and Eddie stranded in the back of his van. What ever shall you do to pass the time?

@eiightysixbaby

⭒ Take A Dip?

eddie wants to get you in the water with him while you're alone at the community pool. he ends up getting a lot more than he bargained for.

@galaxy-siren

⭒ Biggest Fan

@lonelysatellites

⭒ Safe Hands

Sex has never been a pleasant experience for you. Selfish partners, anxiety, and pain have all ruined something that you should enjoy. You’re convinced there’s something wrong with you, but Eddie is determined to prove otherwise.

@eddiernunson

⭒ I Can Do It With A Broken Heart

You and Eddie have both had crap luck on dates lately, nothing that can't be fixed with a strawberry milkshake. However, he gets asked out on a date and it goes well...until it turns your life on its head and he forgets how to pick up the phone. You don't even care that he's dating someone else you just want your best friend back.

⭒ The Splash of Rain on the Roof

you're best friends with Eddie Munson after moving to Hawkins, the new girl who ditches the cheerleaders for the Freaks. A year later, you've fallen head over heels for him, and you're convinced there's no way he has any interest in you. It finally seems confirmed when you find out (more or less) that he's into a fucking cheerleader. Your heart breaks.

@bbyhellfire

⭒ missionary with eddie (drabble)

eddie didn't care for missionary until he meets you

@oneforthemunny

⭒ Soft!Eddie (blurb)

@kiwi-bitchez

⭒ The Girlfriend Experience

Eddie doesn’t think he’s cut out for dating. Self-resigned to a life of one and done hookups, you’re determined to make him see that he has the capacity to be a worthy companion… for when the right girl comes around.

@/gaybybirth on ao3

⭒ Double Feature

When you're forced to go to a double feature showing of the Halloween movies with your brother and his friends, you find yourself, like usual, interacting with Eddie Munson. But it doesn't take long for the platonic line to be blurred and things to heat up.

⭒ Show Me

You ask Eddie to show you what you've been missing out on after he discovers your boyfriend never went down on you.

@eds6ngel

⭒ Romantic!Eddie blurb

@gxtitobxby

⭒ The Princess and the Freak | Part 2

“I can’t help but dream of his head between my thighs, how his hair would feel against my—”

@/mediocredreams on ao3

⭒ Extra Credit

Your professor offers you a very personal in-home tutoring session.

@/ghostproofbaby on ao3

⭒ Twenty Four Hours

in which eddie munson and you absolutely hate each other's guts. what happens when your friends make a bet that you can't spend more than twenty four hours consecutively together?

(Y'ALL MUST READ IT ISTG ITS SO GOOD)

@/decembersfinest on ao3

⭒ Living After Midnight

Being a perpetual people-pleaser meant that you were constantly putting others before yourself--particularly your parents and the eccentric guests who stayed at their motel. But when a surly and mysterious musician checked in indefinitely, he flipped your whole world on its head.

@littlexdeaths

⭒ Band Practice

when band practice doesn’t go as planned…

@eddiexmunsonlover

⭒ One Step Away From You

You move back to Hawkins after 3 years away to finish out your senior year. Can you salvage the friendship you once had with your ex best friend, Eddie? Will you be able to push down your deeper feelings for him, or will it all come bubbling out in disaster?

@/nerdsarehot on ao3

⭒ A Kiss to Remember

⭒ Flustered

@/GreyPetticoats on ao3

⭒ Wing Man

Steve ‘the Hair’ Harrington is your best friend, and is constantly striking out. Sick of this, you two make a deal; you’ll wingman for each other. Hooking Steve up with dates is easy, but he finds himself struggling to find you a date. At least, until Dustin starts talking about his new cool friend Eddie.

@eddiesghxst

⭒ Riding Eddie drabble

@eddiemunchem

⭒ that puppy dog typa love

eddie is fiercely loyal, doting, and affectionate — when he’s enamored, you’re everything; his whole world. so just don’t mind the fact that he clings to you like a sloth to a tree, yeah?

[elryuse]

yandere ex girlfriend sohee?

MY CRAZY EX GF, IS DRIVING ME INSANE

YANDERE EX-GF SOHEE X MALE READER

Y/n was just an ordinary college student until he met Sohee, a dazzling K-pop idol whose beauty and charm captivated him from the moment they crossed paths. Even though Y/n was just an Ordinary College Student... Sohee somehow found him cute and unique from the rest.. This made Sohee really excited and started to approach him whenever she has the chance.

"Wow you are really cute.. What's your name"?

"Uhmm I'm Y/n. Lee Y/n.. You're that famous idol right? Sohee if I'm correct"?

"Bingo.. So do you want my autograph or maybe a picture"?

"Uhmm how about a phone number? Is that cool"?

" *Chuckle* You're funny Y/n... Alright then.. Here is your reward... XXX-XXXXXX_XXX".

"Wow... Is this for real"??

"Let's catch up later... Bye bye *wink* ".

After calling her up and starting to actually know Sohee better.. Y/n actually kinda feels like She was the one for him... He started to pay more and more attention for her, Missing out on some classes just to watch her performance.. And giving her all the best support he could ever give.

But one day... Sohee Cheated on Y/n. Which devastated him mentally and physically. He trusted Sohee with all of his life, he even almost gave up his college degree for her. And this is how she's repaying his time and effort? Y/n wanted Sohee to apologize, To feel ashamed to actually be responsible for their Relationship. But she never did.

Sohee Chooses her new "partner" Over Y/n. Which devastated him even more. But eventually Y/n moved on from her.. He started to pay more attention to his studies and started to actually be a pretty good college student.

"Sohee why the fuck are you sleeping with him? And why won't you answer my calls"?

"I'm tired... You're just not enough for me.. I needed something that you can't ever fulfill Y/n".

"Please.. I love you... I would have done anything for you Sohee.. For us.. So please tell me why".

"My friends keep telling me that you look boring... And I started to see it too.. You're to young.. And I'm basically 6 years older than you... So please.. Just go home.. Don't ever see me again".

"What!? That's it? You're gonna let me go, Just like that"??

"You're nothing to me Y/n. You never did.. ".

"Wow.. Just wow.. All this time... I've sacrificed all of my time... I guess.. I was too dumb to believe you.. ".

On the other side... Sohee has been treated like trash by her new "partner" Of hers. Her new partner was abusive, and liked to play with random girls around him. Sohee even found out that Her friends actually slept plenty of time with her new "partner" Which saddened Sohee even more.

Sohee finally realized in those moments, Just how hurtful it feels. To be betrayed by the person you trust the most. She started to regret her decision and started crying in her large penthouse. Sohee cried at the thoughts of actually staying in the relationship with Y/n. How happy she would be, Especially having a trustworthy Partner as Y/n.. Remembering the memories actually made Sohee chuckled little by little.

She remembered how he was very clumsy when he was cooking a dish for dinner. And would often burn his finger, Sohee would always take care of him and they would laugh the night away in Y/n small apartment. Remembering the memories made her even desperate to have him back. So She decided to call Y/n multiple times.

But he would never answer...

This made Sohee even more desperate... And in those desperate times, She realized the power that she had.. She's rich and has a powerful connection in this business world. She took the chance by forcing her way into Y/n's Life as possible as she can.

She would often sabotage Y/n's Workplace. By buying the ownership of the building (Office). Which means she could actually see Y/n all day long. But not long after that Y/n would leave this job and search for a new job. But Sohee never gave up... Her mind is only filled with how much she needs him... How desperate she is to actually be with him again.

And so, Day by day, Month by month. Sohee started to stalk Y/n. Y/n who feels that something was wrong immediately tried to look for the source of the inconvenience that he felt. But he didn't realize sooner that, His Crazy Ex Girlfriend would do some mad shit to own him again. To actually be his again..

She bombarded Y/n with gifts, love letters, and apologies, refusing to take no for an answer. Which creeps the living shit out of him. She would often knock on his apartment door, Ring the bell and would even stand on the other side of the room, Waiting for an answer from Y/n. In the end Sohee forces Y/n to meet her face to face. She forced his parents to actually accept her marriage letter... Which shocked Y/n to death. Since Y/n Can't do anything... He is now once again in the grasp of Sohee...

As soon as they got married, Sohee's obsession only intensified. She isolated Y/n from his friends and family, ensuring that he was completely dependent on her for validation and affection.

Terrified of losing Y/n again, Sohee resorted to extreme measures to keep him by her side. She sabotaged his job interviews, manipulated his social media accounts, and even went as far as to threaten anyone who dared to come between them.

And Just Like that... Y/n's free will was taken by force by Sohee... He was now an empty shell of a man that was once happy and cheerful. He's now stuck in the grasp of a Crazy Wife... Who would never ever let him go...

"You're mine forever Y/n...".

[deleteddewewted]

Doc Headcanons

A/n: Just some headcanons of mine about Doc. I love him so much!!!!

MDNI

W: NSFW under the cut, Writer has a body hair fetish

He’s not usually the most showy about his affection but he isn’t hiding it either. He just doesn’t see the point in being loud about how he feels about anyone or anything.

Has a temper. You might think age has brought him a tolerance for ignorant and stupid behavior but you’d be surprised when he snaps at someone for not taking his advice to heart when he explains they cannot combine two medications that do not react well.

Doesn’t know what rest or a moment of peace is. If it’s not one thing it’s another. There’s no such thing as being relaxed to him.

Spends too much of his time being a big brother to most of his colleges, especially GIGN. So when Twitch wants to show him a new gadget of hers he’s forcing himself to ask questions and act interest. It’s not for a lack of caring he’s just very tired and very busy.

When he was younger he used to experiment a lot. Sexually he’s secure and knows what he likes, he explored and tried a lot of what he wanted to do when he was younger but now that he’s older he wants to still try knew things but with a consistent partner.

Has briefly thought about getting married just to fulfill a dream he’s had. He’s not big on weddings but sharing the rest of his life with someone sounds nice.

Hairy. Very hairy. His arms, his chest, his stomach and his shoot trail. Maybe not all that much on his stomach but you can still see some thin hairs that get thicker under his belly button and leading to his public area.

Happy to listen to your problems even if they’re minute. If he likes you he’ll enjoy listening to anything that interests you. He might not share the same taste in music but he likes creating bonds with people so he’ll endure.

He’s not a self conscious person but when someone mentioned in passing that he was going to look handsome with grey hair he made an effort to take better care of his hair. Military regulations as well as medical ones require hair to be well kept and groomed so he’s always sported the same short and swept back hair style for years. He likes his grey hairs even if at first he thought it looked silly cause it was only at the side of his head.

If he could do anything other than his current job he would like to be a homebody. He technically could decided to retire right now but his need to help others trumps a desire to be at home doing nothing. He still tries to find opportunities to stay in his room with coffee and a book.

Gustave has a large family so he's used to being pulled in one direction and another while having his ear chatted off. He only minds this when he's visiting his family on leave and they begin trying to set him up on dates with people he has never meet before.

NSFW:

Very much the type to fall in love hard. His work brings him little to no time to himself, which means he will find himself fixating, daydreaming, and thinking about any and all interactions he's had with someone he is interested in.

Not the possessive or the jealous type but if he's dating you he will find it annoying if your attention is taken by someone else who's too handsy to you. He wants to spend time with you but he cant if someone else is having your full attention.

Kisses your hand all the time. Likes the feeling of your skin on his and he does it to reassure himself that you are there with him.

Likes it when you touch his body, makes him feel special and complete.

For however much he knows it is best to use a condom he cant help himself but want to fuck you raw. Lube, spit, whatever, he just wants to be inside you and fuck you till you're happy and tired out.

He likes seeing you come on done with his mouth. He loves giving oral so having your cum on his face or just dripping down his chin makes him even more aroused.

[seokka0o]

taesan having s*x in car on backseat and go rough pls.

Taesan is a big man. To be in a car and fuck you requires a desire, an effort that you should consider a privilege. Thinking about a scenario, you're on a camp, college thing or something. It turns out that the dorms aren't enough and Taesan ends up sleeping in his car, alone, so that you have space in a comfortable room. But you can't stay away from him for even a second, even if it's to sleep, you need taesan. Soon you will sneak in the middle of the night to his car only to find him also waiting for you "I knew it" he knows you, more than anyone. At first it's something casual, you're together talking and exchanging some affection, but when you start to show signs that you're going back to your cabin that's when he starts "do you really need to go?" And then he's climbing on top of you, kissing your lips, your neck, placing himself between your legs. You won't deny it, especially because you don't want to, your body is on fire to have him fucking you up to your thighs, the whole thing about you being in the middle of nowhere with college, doing such things in the dark at night, makes you too excited to quoting and taesan is simple, soon his hand is making you cum consecutively, moaning slyly, and you're trying his best not to make too much of a fuss, finding it adorable how you cover your mouth to avoid moaning so loudly. "Let's see how far you go" and then he's inside you, fucking you, fast, hard, your body doing its best to fit inside the car and when tired of the effort, putting you to ride, making the car rock, taking it out the total plan to be something hidden, but still giving him the privilege of feeling you rock on top of him, while he makes your nipples his private party. You wanted to go ahead, so he agrees to the terms, the fogged glass gives you the little bit of privacy you created, every now and then the palm of his hand finds your face and pays a visit, leaving your skin numb, a few slaps of comfort, your eyes rolling back so desperately you're breaking down "so desperate for my dick" taesan's sighs are like a small wind in the night, he's using everything he has and when he feels like he's at the limit he just holds your hips steady so he can punch everything deep inside you, leaving you completely hallucinated "are you going to sleep in the middle of all your colleagues covered in my cum? That's what I call true love"

[hobiespick]

Sam Winchester x reader headcanons part 3

<33

a/n: heyyyyyy I had so much fun writting these. I am literally shaking as we speak cuz i'm still kinda shy abt this even tho yall showed me sm love and gave so much positive feedback on the first 2 parts I was giggling, blushing, and twirling my invisible phone cord. Thank you all so much for everything and enjoy my shitty thoughts 🫶💞 + tagging a lovely person who gave me the idea of writting one of these @yinorathedragontamer

Summary/Warnings: tooth rotting fluff, Sam Winchester x gn!reader , Sam being the biggest boyfriend of all boyfriends (im quoting one of my moots), the first headcanon isn't sam x reader it's Jess x Sam (rip to the hottest couple) the headcanon came to me in a prophetic vision and i just had to leave it here, mention of Sam's childhood + I couldn't help myself but make a few headcanons about Dean too.

- I have a deep feeling (i'm an empath) that around college when he was with Jess and he wouldn't leave her side, Sam accidentally got adopted by her girl group of friends - hear me out - he would cling to Jess for his dear life shaking and not wanting to intrude or make him look nosy and Jess's girlfriends wouldn't bat an eye, welcoming Sam with open arms and treating him the same - they are the reason his guilty pleasure is gossiping. One of Jess's (girl)friends coming hurriedly towards the group with a shocked expression and a hand covering her mouth and Sam already knows the tea is scrumptious - he probably got called "girl" so many times - he didn't mind it btw, actually kinda liked it because that means they included him - spreading my "Sam Winchester enjoys the company of female friends more than male ones agenda" like wildfire ‼️ - "wyd when me and my gang pull up" and it's five y2k girls + a preppy blonde girl whose boyfriend is some 6'4 emo kid with a Green Day tee who follows her around with heart eyes

- "Dean, move your leg or I'm throwing your fucking mixtapes out of the window" you threaten annoyed at the audacity of the long ass older Winchester to just stretch out as if you're not both (tired af) in the back seat of baby, you try to find a comfortable position for what feels like the 50th time to stay for a few hours untill all of you make it in one piece to Washington (Dean might not since he is acting like that). "You touch my mixtapes and I might throw you out of the window, runt." Dean barks (lovingly), lifting his sunglasses on his head and pointing a defensive finger at you. You are too tired to think and to retort something snarky back but still settle on rolling your eyes and giving his foot a kick.

Sam is driving like a princess in the front, his legs are streched out with his back comfortably resting against his seat with an arm lazily holding the steering wheel as the wind coming from the rolled window brushes some of his hair on his forhead, all while looking effortlessly handsome. "Don't make me come back there" Sam laughs breaking the character he wanted to play along as (hint: dads on road trips). Sam's pants would catch on fire if he said he was annoyed at your childish bickering with his brother, he found it endearing. It just added to the list of things he liked about you. You gasp a little bit too dramatically and gesture towards Dean "He started it" you grumble. Dean gives you a kick of his own pulling his sunglasses back down and crossing his arms, atleast he retreats his legs giving you enough space to rest yours.

- uses every excuse to touch you (his hands are literally twitching in anticipation to hold yours, or hug you)

- Dean is a classic rock etillist (he learned that from J*hn) but his guilty pleasure is nu metal especially limp bizkit. - he only listens when Sam isn't around. - says he's getting himself a little treat (fancy headphones) with his hard-earned money (poker/credit card fraud) - J*hn introduced him to led zeppelin and Dean feels like he's dissapointing him by not being a carbon copy of him hence his secrecy - So the "guilty pleasure" has deeper roots

- Sam told you he doesn't remember owning a childhood plushie, you fix that

- you open the door and close it with your foot, hands clinging to the bag you're holding to your chest after almost stumbling over. Sam's expression changes into a smile upon your arrival, kinda like a golden reriever. He gets up from the reasearch papers scatterred around the table no longer the center of his attention to greet you.

"Hey" the word 'sweetheart' almost sneaks out of his mouth but he contained himself with grace, god forbid he makes you uncomfortable (he's alot like you y'know? ). "Hi" you reply breathlessly due to your almost stunt and the fact that Dean took Baby out so you had to walk back to the motel in the humid weather of Washington. You take off your shoes and set the bag on the table, Sam's nosy self is itching to see what's inside. Before you open anything you make sure to peel off the hoodie you have on and rest it on a chair. "I got something but i need you to close your eyes and lay out your hands please." You start already bitting back a smile with a tinge of nervousness at what his reaction could be.

Yes, you got Sam a plushie. You got matching ones, the one for Sam is a brown moose with dark brown glass eyes that kept reminding you of him. The one you got for yourself is a same-zise moose plushie in your favourite color. What's even more cuter is that both of the plushies came as a package and they can stick their hands together with the magic of little pieces of square shaped tape on each their hands (hooves?). Sam is scared and excited at the same time. He will thank you for whatever you got him, he raised himself to be gratefull, it's just that growing up he learned and was usually met with dissapointment. John not showing up for his soccer game and neither Dean because he is hunting with him? Yeah he knows. Not even a call from his dad on his 21st birthday? Yeah he expected that. But he knows you, and the amount of times you have dissapointed him. (hint: zero)

So he does as you told him to. He extends his hand and turns it over, his other arm resting by his side. He closes his eyes and does not open them once. Sam was that kinda kid at the playground, so fair and by the rules it's almost suspicious. He can hear the noise of the brown paper bag crinkling and somehow imagine the sight of you smilling brightly, a sight that almost bribes him to open his eyes and see for himself. He focuses on the sound untill he feels the soft velvet material of the plushie in his hands. He doesn't even open his eyes yet he just furrows his eyebrows in confusion as his fingers pet the fabric of the stuffed animal.

You stand there, the biggest most nervous smile planted on your face as you wait for his verdict. "Sam, you can open your eyes now." you speak loud enough for him to hear, and he does open them, they glisten wet under the crappy motel room light. He has this mix of sadness and joy on his face at the same time as he cranes his neck to look down at the stuffed animal in his hands, he can envelope it entirely if he tried. You wish you could read thoughts right now, to make Sam open up his brain to you and show you how he feels about this, whether the reaction is negative or positive, you just want (need) to hear him speak, fuck, he can even yell at you if that is what he chooses to do (he wouldn't in a million years). Regret hits you like a hurricane after a few seconds of silence, that's the last thing you wanted to do, make Sam remember what a shitty childhood he had with just a stuffed animal, a fucking toy. The thought that this could come off as a reminder for him that's like 'Hey buddy, your childhood is so fucked up I felt sorry for you, here' didn't even occur you. All you wanted to do is give him something normal, to make him feel normal, a feeling he has been chasing all of his life. You bought two matching moose plushies with the thought that you're gonna match with your bestfriend, you're going to share some normalacy with your bestfriend in your world, your monsters are real world.

You wanted to build a time machine and rescue little Sam and Dean from the fucking monster John Winchester was. Yes, John Winchester loved his boys, but neglect and love don't mix. Leaving a 10 year old to look out for a 6 year old isn't love, taking your children with you to fucking hunt and kill fairy tale monsters isn't love. "Sam?" You call out quietly, nervousness already visible in your body language. Sam shots his head up at the mention of his name and most importantly the tone of your voice. He gives you a weak tight lipped smile (as if the sight would spare you having to worry about him, as if you don't feel the need to bang your head against a wall whenever you see Sam in any kind of pain) and wipes a tear that runs down his cheek with the cuff of his hoodie. "Sam- I'm sorry- I thought-" You justify yourself and attempt at swallowing the lump formed in your throat, you rub your sweaty palms on your jeans and feel like the biggest asshole in the world. You awkwardly take a step closer untill you take in consideration the idea that getting closer might be the last thing he needs right now so you step right back. Sam tears taste sweet, he can confirm it himself. The way you spent time and money going to provide him with something he was wrongfully stolen off of having when he was only a kid made him tear up in the spam of a few seconds. You asked, he answered, you felt sorry, he desperately wants you to comfort him, then you do something to make him feel appreciated/cherished. He glances at you and sees the state you're in. His legs instinctively take three long strides towards you and envelopes you in the most comforting embrace anyone has ever gave you. You don't need to be psychic or practice insane voodoo/hoodoo to know exactly how this made him feel, it's all in this hug. You hug him back and Sam starts rubbing circles with his index finger on your back, he is crying his eyes out and he's still comforting anyone but himself. You hear his sniffles as he agressively wipes his nose with his cuff. "Thank you" he croaks out, his tone hoarse and raspy. He rests his head on top of yours and you can feel him finally relax. You can also tell he has no intention of breaking the hug anytime soon but that is your last worry. You made Sam happy tonight and that's all it matters.

- you and Sam are the golden retriever + black cat duo the world needs. - grocery trips with him (he doesn't need anything, just wanted to go with you) that are fun and weirdly domestic. - it's all making jokes and finding eachother the snacks you usually eat untill someone bumps into him and HE apologizes. "Sorry" he says giving the dude that's shorter than him a tight lipped smile. The dude presses "Almost dropped my shit 'cause of you assh-" You cut him off by clearing your throat and making him turn around his face dropping as he notices your glare at him. "He said he was sorry." You chide (threaten) with a scarily blunt tone, you have no idea how someone can even dare to look the wrong way at Sam, he's too tall for his own good and he's built like a brick wall. "Whatever" the dude leaves scoffing , your expression softening as soon as your eyes settle on Sam. He has a stupid dorky look on his face and adoration in his eyes, his hands shoved in his jean pockets towering over you almost awkwardly. "Ugh. What is it today asshole day?" You joke breaking the silence, (yes, you're quoting kat stratford) Sam just laughs and nods, you could say it's Christmas and he would believe you. "Looks like it." He agrees, not even caring for that asshole that he could've handled himself just fine, he hunts monsters for a goddamn career. He just adores the way you jumped to take his side.

- expressing your wish to find or atleast thrift a brown carhartt jacket similar to Sam's, only for him to offer giving it to you whenever you wanna wear it. - "S'okay you can wear it i don't mind, you just have to ask me before, yeah?" - he also can't stop blushing at the sight of you in his already baggy jacket appearing more larger on you.

- the jacket engulfs you in this sense of security and an addictive smell of Sam (his fav earthy cologne) - the way you're looking good, happy, and warm in his jacket makes Sam's heart skip a few beats. - Dean smirks and compliments you, having to take a double look to confirm it's infact Sammy's jacket on you "Looking good, Y/n" he smiles and sends Sam a wink you're to oblivious to notice but you do notice the tone he uses, replying back skeptically "Thanks?" but you shrug it off asking Sam if he wants to come with you to this fast food place to bring back dinner.

- When Dean's brain cells put 2 and 2 togheter and realizes you and Sam are absolutely pining for eachother he purposefully does alot of stuff so you're stuck spending time with Sam and vice versa. It's either an easy move to make you two go out/stay in or it's a geniusly absolutely malefically strategically thinked and mastered 50 step plan that has atleast 20 plan B's in case anything goes wrong but we all know he doesn't need them, the mission goes smoothly each time. if Winchesters are anything, it's stubborn, incredibly and stupidly stubborn so Dean is not giving up on making one of you confess to eachother and if you don't he might take matters in his own hands and scream it out loud enough for You and Sammy to hear.

- he is so eager, the first time you kissed him he automatically assumed he's your boyfriend. - "Is that any way to speak with your boyfriend?" With a jokingly hurt face and a dramatically placed hand on his chest when you're being too mean. - "As your boyfriend and your lore boy.." - "I'm Sam, their boyfriend.." when he's introducing himself to person he knows has certain intentions with you or somebody making you uncomfortable.

- you pulled a muscle in your shoulder while on a hunt and stubbornly denied anything ever hurted even when Sam asked. - you keep rolling your shoulder when Sam says "Looks like you pulled something alright. You probably shouldn't move too much, you'll just make it worse." You scoffed at that, no way Sam for real? I had no idea I had to do that, thank god a smart boy like yourself is right beside me. "Are you mansplaining to me how to let a pulled muscle heal?" You retort, mainly because of the pain partially cause mansplaining is unnecessary and ignorant. And when Sam thought he couldn't like you any more than he already does you proved him wrong. He only chuckled, amused by your snarky reply, even going as far as to apreciate your attitude. "I'm not mansplaining anything, I'm just stating facts. Even a five year old could tell you that overusing a muscle will make the pain worse." He teased back.

- He enjoys the intimacy between the two of you when there are jokes and certain things you and him can laugh about because you're both huge nerds.

- Bobby let's you borrow whatever books you want from his huge ass library (mans probably got illegal books there)

- Bobby and Dean give eachother knowing looks whenever you and Sam literally do anything togheter, you and him pretend not to notice, not even mentioning it.

- guys i wanna cuddle with Sam Winchester so bad it's not even funny anymore *sobbing while my eyeliner mixed with tears is running down my face*

- he's a big cuddlebug I am willing to bet all my life savings and my first born he is. - the way you feel so safe and comforted when his light pole build wraps two arms around you, holding you close, trying to get you impossibly closer. - his hugs are the same, tender yet firm reflecting on his gentle nature. - just spoons you when he finds you on the couch sleeping with a bunch of research papers scattered and dusty old books around you which he tosses aside, because he is too proud to ask for cuddles.

- you wake up in the middle of the night you have no idea what time is it, you have one missing sock, your throat is dry, and you feel an arm draped over your waist getting tighter around you the more you twist around. And that's when you hear it, it's right next to your ear, Sam's low sleepy hum as he stirrs behind you, nudging his face deeper into your neck. You have no choice but to lay there untill he wakes up 'cause there is no escaping.

a/n: again i'm posting this shaking, this took so long I was scared I wasn't gonna finish it. They are so long they might not classify as headcanons but i couldn't care less. The plushie one made me feel like hamilton while writting it lmaoo. Hope yall enjoyed!! 💞 feedback would be very much appreciated<33

[hoshigray]

A Pricked Hand to Hold

Just thinking about h*lding h*nds with Miguel for the first time bc I'm still fucking soft for this man (like it's so bad).

An: Yup, it's been three weeks, and my infatuation for this man has yet to falter (or that movie in general bc I've seen it like 5-6 times already, and can't get tired of it). This was meant to be a little smthn, but I just wanted to get my soft aggression out of the way. Also, tysm for 1k followers again!! Like fr, y'all are too sweet :') Sacrificed sleep to get this done, sooooo hope you guys like it!! If there are spelling/grammar errors, my dumbass will take care of it tmrw bc I need to take a fckin nap right tf now ahhhhhh— Also! Gonna make an ATSV masterlist later today, so I'll be sure to link it when it's done!!

Cw: Miguel x reader - fluff - h*nd h*lding (barf) - the reader is implied to be in college (at least age 20) - you and Miguel aren't together [yet] but the pining is strong in this one! - Lyla and Jessica teasing you lovestruck idiots lol - you accidentally prick yourself with your lead pencil, but no blood or injuries - ayo you and Miguel almost kiss tho??

Wc: 2.1k

As usual, it was a busy day at headquarters. Many anomalies have been captured for Margo to send back home, Spiders helping other Spiders fight off evil-doers and placing them back in their universes, and Pavitr having a scare nearly revealing his identity to his girlfriend, Gayatri.

Then there's you, sitting at a table doing your homework that needs to be finished for the lecture tomorrow. But you're not alone. In front of the table are three others discussing matters of their own. Lyla is giving new information about another anomaly that needs to be captured before going home, and Jessica's leaning on her motorbike listening to her pixel friend. Right next to her is another taller person listening along as well.

Miguel O'Hara — leader of the Spider Society and the man you've been pining for a while now.

You've been working here for a few months, taking in Margo's shifts or helping Lyla relay messages to other Spiders across the multiverse. At first, you've tried to keep it simple and only see it as a job. But the more you work here, the closer you get to others...and your boss, Miguel, is no exception.

Things started short and blunt with him between you two — just simple greetings and exchanges of the necessary information. But then there was a time when the man was in HQ for far too long, probably sacrificing too much sleep and time to eat that day. So, you got him something from the cafeteria and a little note telling him to "Take care of yourself, leader!" before going home.

From that day on, you and Miguel got closer slowly but surely. Not only does he appreciate you reminding him to take breaks or grab something to eat, but he also checks up on you whenever it's your shift, talks to you on his breaks, or eats dinner with you whenever he has a chance (or when he's not stressed out).

And how you talk to each other is much more comfortable and personal. Sure, you're still respectful of his position and are aware of his duties, but it's always a guilty pleasure when he spends his little free time with you. Unfortunately, you've developed feelings for the tall and brawny Spiderman due to this.

You know how complicated it is to have feelings for someone, especially within the work field, so this is something that you have no faith in whatsoever. But for some reason, you can't help but think something between the two of you is starting to bloom...and based on his actions, maybe Miguel feels the same way as well? Lyla and Jessica tease you, saying it's plain to see that even Pav fangirls about you two.

".../n."

However, for a man like him, is such a thing possible?

"Y/n."

Your thoughts vanish as you turn to the person calling for your attention, just to find it's from Miguel. The two women are nowhere to be found, probably tending to other matters you didn't catch because of your overthinking.

"Yes!" you stutter a reply. Oh God, I hope I didn't make him call on me so many times...

"Done with your homework?" He asks while coming to your side of the table.

You give him a nod, fidgeting with your mechanical pencil. "Yeah, I took care of the stuff for my classes tomorrow. Now I just got a paper to finish by Friday...What about you? Gonna head out soon?"

"I would, but I gotta stay here in case Jess needs backup for the mission. She just left to fix up her bike before she goes."

A chuckle sneaks past you, and Miguel swoons at the sound of it. "Are you sure you wanna do that? Didn't Lyla keep bothering you the last time?"

You can tell he reminisces the time you recall; his sigh and a shake from the lead confirm so. "Yeah, well, when is she not bothering me."

"Heard that." The woman appears in front of him quickly before disappearing again, leaving Miguel a little puzzled before a slight scowl paints his face. Yet it's not so bad when he sees you laugh at the interaction.

"I swear," your giggles wear down, but your smile remains. "It's like you two are siblings or something. But that just means the pestering comes from a place of love."

He hums at your words. "Yeah, love..."

For the past few months, you've been a reoccurring theme in Miguel's life that he thought he'd never experience again. From the day he met you, he figured keeping his distance and maintaining an appropriate work relationship would benefit him. But he was a fool to challenge your beauty and welcoming aura whenever you entered the scene. Especially your kind gestures, starting with the food and your little note for him.

It was apparent then that avoidance would do more harm to himself than good, so he spent his days getting to know you more, understanding you more, appreciating you more...and worse, loving you more.

An emotion such as love has been something that's only brought up painful memories and anguish. And for that reason, Miguel has chosen to dedicate his life and being to doing something he's good at — his job protecting the multiverse. Because, in his eyes, it's the only thing he seems capable of. Not love.

...However, whenever you look at him, speak to him, or smile at him, Miguel can't fight the twinge of his heart longing for something — longing for you. And he knows he isn't the only one who thinks so since Lyla constantly ridicules him about his "schoolboy crush," just like a sibling.

Nonetheless, he still doesn't go far from the talks you share with him or the times you eat together in a friendly manner. Because that's what he and you are comfortable with, and he wouldn't want to break it. Yet he can't help but wonder what would happen if he was just a little more selfish.

Be more selfish and pursue you...without losing you.

"OUCH!!"

Without hurting you.

Miguel's thoughts are immediately halted when he hears your hurtful cry. You drop your pencil and grab your finger as you wince through the pain. And he wastes no time coming to your proximity to examine what happened. "What!? Something wrong?"

"Ahhhh, yeah, I'm fine," You reassure him with an attempted smile. "I just accidentally pricked myself with my pencil."

"Let me see."

The words take a long to register before the man takes your hand in his, the back of your hand resting on his palm while he surveys your fingers. He then sees a tiny circle indent on your middle finger. "I don't see any pieces of lead."

"Oh, thank goodness," you exhale in relief. "Because I don't think I'd survive tomorrow if I did. I got three lectures that day!"

Miguel chortles at your comment, and it has the beat of your heart quicken. "So sorry for you."

Your smile is still prominent. "Thank you, Miguel."

"Don't mention it."

Silence follows those words, yet they're substituted with gazes between you and the man. The twinge on your lips slowly dissolves the more you lose yourself in his burnt amber eyes. The same goes for Miguel, who still has your hand in his.

The internal turmoil in his mind doesn't ease at that fact, incapable of deciphering whether to let go. And when your hand slowly reciprocates the hold — turning it for both palms to face each other — his breath hitches.

"Miguel..." his name appeared in a whisper, only for him to hear. Your breathing goes shaky when he replies with his fingers intertwined with yours. And you notice him take a tense gulp, easing your nerves to know that he's also nervous.

He knows he shouldn't be this close to you as it could jeopardize the relationship you have spent all these months building and maintaining together. However, this is the first time he's been so close to you, touching you. And his heart pushes him to want more.

He knows he shouldn't...but curiosity is an intriguing dance. That's why he slowly leans forward to you.

And you go rigid by the notion...yet your eyes are drawn to his lips, and you follow suit by going inward. Eyes close, letting the moment take place for itself.

"Ready, Miguel?"

Nevermind.

Both eyes open immediately, and locked hands are withdrawn from each other. Miguel puts on his mask quickly, but you could still see a slight flush of pink on his cheeks and ears before they were covered up. You straighten yourself and look to the other side of the table to see Jessica on her motorbike entering the scene.

And just like that, the moment was gone.

"Oh—" the woman spots you two before Miguel stands straight up, and she doesn't try to hide the smile that creeps on her face. "Oh. Was I interrupting something?"

"No." You two say in unison. Jess only lifts a brow through her yellow goggles. You continue with an explanation while you pack up your stuff. "I accidentally pricked my finger with my mechanical pencil, so Miguel checked it out to see if I had any lead on it."

"Ooh, yeah, those aren't fun. Basically like a splinter." Before Jessica could say more, Lyla appeared in everyone's line of sight.

"Good, you two are still here." She jumps around between Jessica and Miguel. "The anomaly we discussed earlier has jumped to another dimension as predicted; better get them now so we can go home."

The two nod while you get up from the table with your backpack. "Good luck out there, guys." You address the older three before exiting for the night, and they all say their goodbyes to you.

For a few seconds, your eyes linger on Miguel. Despite the mask covering his face, his gaze was intense and palpable. Without saying a word, you let your eyes say your final words before turning to leave.

Miguel still watches you leave until he's unable to spot you through the dark hall. And unfortunately for him, he can feel two pairs of eyes on him. He mentally prepares himself before looking at the two women who harbor shameless grins. "What's with the faces?"

Lyla and Jessica only share a look amongst themselves and shrug before answering him. "Oh, I don't know, Miguel." The pixelated woman darts close to the man. "What's with your face?"

"Wh-What are you—"

"C'mon now, Miguel." Jessica cuts him off. "Seems like something more was going on than just a pricked finger."

He sighs. "Well, you're wrong. Because that's all it was." The two share another look with each other as their smirks go higher.

"Oh~, my darling Miguel," Jessica changes her voice to a higher pitch and daydream tone. "I wish you luck on your mission and that you return to see me tomorrow~."

"Don't you worry, my wonderful Y/n," Despite Miguel's eyes narrowing at Lyla's terrible impression of his voice, she still acted out the role. "I will return to you unscathed and have you in my loving arms in no time~."

"I don't talk like that." The two women chuckle at his blunt statement. "How old do you think I am?"

"Old enough to look like a man but still scared to talk to your lil' crush." Jessica crosses her arms with a matter-of-fact attitude, her smile itching broader when Miguel rolls his eyes through the mask.

"Ay, por Dios, can we please open the portal already?" The poor man can only take so much teasing from the two, making him feel like he should've left with you instead.

Lyla giggles one last time before Jessica uses her watch to open a portal to the desired dimension. "Whatever you say, lover boy." The portal opens, and a flash of colors and shapes contrasts with the dull room. Jessica is the first to go, Miguel following right behind her.

Even when going on his mission, his mind can't stop thinking about you and the moment you shared together earlier. It was a risky thing to have happened, and he scolds himself for letting such a thing happen. Miguel knows he isn't a person for love, for it's something meant to be destroyed by his very touch. You are no exception; the last thing he wants to do is hurt you. He loves you too much to put you through that.

But then the compliance and willingness you've expressed in holding his hand surely meant that you wanted something more, right?

If Miguel were selfish enough, he'd use that as a hint. A hint to look forward to what other things you'd allow him to express to you.

If he were selfish enough, he would plan to approach you tomorrow in the right way.

If he were selfish enough, he'd test out the waters more and finally let this "love" flourish into something better.

[cre8inghavoc]

What are Friends For?

PT. 2

Status: ongoing!!

Updates: no set date.

WC: 2185

Description: Characters are aged up. After months of enduring her boyfriend's emotional abuse, Y/N found the courage to stand up for herself. She confronted him, refusing to tolerate his hurtful behavior any longer. In that moment, she broke free from the curse of their toxic relationship, reclaiming her independence and beginning a journey of healing. Pairing: megumi fushiguro x FEM!reader

Genre/Warnings:[18+] This story contains toxic boyfriend, cursing, name calling, self-doubt/hate, angst, breaking up, post-breakup, alcohol, drunk moments, new friends, dating!au, college!au, no curses!au, dark humour, dark jokes. SMAU.

Maki dropped you off at home ridiculously early, like 6 am early. But with a long list of errands to run and a breakup conversation that you were not looking forward to, you didn't have time to dwell on it. You just wanted to get this day over with. 

Your friends wanted to hang out later to cheer you up after the breakup, but you needed to clear your head first.

The thought of breaking up with your boyfriend made your stomach swirl. It wasn't the act itself that scared you, but rather his reaction. Would he explode in anger, or worse, shrug it off like it meant nothing? Neither option sounded appealing. You didn't want a dramatic showdown, but you also didn't want him to be emotionless. Would that mean he never loved you?

The constant back-and-forth overthinking was giving you a headache. Did you want him to fight for us, or would it be better if he just accepted it peacefully? It was hard to say. All you wanted was to focus on your errands and distract yourself, but your mind had other plans. No matter what, he seemed to be all you could think about.. And not in a good way, but when was it in a good way anyways? 

9:15 AM.

Knock knock.

Was that Maki already? You distinctly remember telling her to come by at 9:45 AM… Maybe she decided to show up early and grab breakfast before heading out for our errands together. With that thought in mind, you made your way to the door with a big smile. But as soon as you opened it, your smile quickly faded into a blank expression. Surprise. It's him.

You stand there, just staring at each other in silence for a moment. You take in his appearance - messy hair, wrinkled clothes, and that tired look in his eyes. He look like he just woke up… You know it's early, but still. Then, you notice something off. His eyes are glassy and bloodshot, and there's a strange scent lingering around him. Sweat, mixed with... could it be a hint of perfume? Wait. Is he... drunk? Putting together all the clues, I'd say there's a solid 90% chance he is.

"Hey babe~" Your boyfriend slurs, his breath heavy with the stench of alcohol. Scratch that, he's 100% drunk. The familiar pet name makes you cringe hard, even though it used to be a regular thing between you two. Now, it just feels weird... and not in a good way. Is it because you're losing feelings? Probably. But also, he doesn't deserve to call you that. He never did, and you shouldn't have let him. You shouldn't have let him take control the way he did. He's hurt you so many times. So much so that you understand why your friends never liked him. And honestly... You don't like him either.

"What are you doing here?" you ask, your tone tinged with confusion. You don't want him inside your house, especially not in his current state. So, almost subconsciously, you step out onto the porch and close the door behind you. Thank god he's too drunk to realize, or else he’d make that small thing a big problem.

"Whattt? Can’t come to s-say hi to my girlfrienddd~" He slurs again, and the possessive term “his” girlfriend sends another wave of discomfort through you. You don't want to be his, not anymore. Then, out of nowhere, he leans in close.

Oh, no.

Fuck.

He's about to kiss you. Panic sets in. You can't even bear his presence, let alone the thought of him claiming you as his girlfriend. You don't want to kiss him. You CAN’T kiss him.

Subconsciously, you blurted out, "Ew…" and it visibly angered him. He pulls back quickly, glaring at you with frustration evident on his face. 

"The fuck. Why the fuck did you say that?" he snaps.

Your face flushes with embarrassment as you realize what you just said. It's like the words slipped out before you could stop them. You panic, scrambling for an excuse. "Sorry! Your breath just smelled like really strong alcohol and I just didn't expect it…"

Smooth, Y/N. Not the worst lie, but definitely not your finest moment.

As you step back, your eyes catch something on his neck. A purple spot. No, it can't be... can it? You reach out and pull down the collar of his shirt, confirming your suspicions. It's a hickey. Unbelievable. You're not sure how you're supposed to feel. Angry? Sad? Heartbroken? But strangely, you just feel... disappointed. Disappointed in his actions, yes, but more so disappointed in yourself for sticking around through all the misery, only to have him cheat on you.

"Is that a hickey?" You question him, but that question only seems to piss him further. You can't recall ever seeing him this angry before. "Are you fucking accusing me of cheating on you? You're fucking pathetic, Y/N," he scoffs, a cruel laugh escaping his lips. "You're the one who went to a boy's house yesterday, and you're calling me a cheater? You know what, fuck you. You're just a bitch. You always like playing the victim card, don't you? It's always about you and your fucking drama. Maybe if you weren't a fucking whore trying to find attention from your little guy friends, I wouldn't feel the need to seek affection elsewhere. Fuck you. You're a nobody, and you will never be worth anything. No one wants an overthinking, paranoid, insecure, anxious fucking bitch. You're pathetic, truly. If your mind wasn't fucked up, maybe I would've loved you."

His hurtful words pierce through you like daggers, but it's his final remark that cuts deepest. "If your mind wasn't fucked up, maybe I would've loved you." Fucked up? YOU? FUCKED UP? You wouldn't feel this way if he hadn't treated you like absolute fucking shit. His comment triggers something inside you, igniting a fire of rage you've never felt before. For the first time ever, you stand up for yourself.

"You're a fucking liar. You're the one that's fucked up. Have you ever thought that the only reason why I have anxiety and overthink is because of YOU," you seethe, pointing a trembling finger at him. "YOU'RE THE FUCKING REASON I'M LIKE THIS, ASSHOLE. I'm so done with this. I'm done with you. We're fucking over. Do not ever talk to me again."

You realize that everyone in the neighbourhood could hear the whole ordeal, both of you yelling and hurling insults at each other. But at that moment, you didn't care. For the first time ever, you said what you always wanted to say, and it felt good.

What you didn't anticipate was how much this would enrage your now ex-boyfriend. Before you knew it, he had clenched his fist and swung it right at your face. Fear courses through you like never before. Fuck… Was he about to hit you? You knew he was capable of sinking low, but this... this was a new low.

"HEY!" A commanding voice breaks through the chaos, causing your ex's fist to freeze in midair. He quickly withdraws his hand and turns to face the person who interrupted him. Standing there was a tall man, dressed in a black hoodie and track pants. It's obvious he's out walking his two dogs, both of whom sit obediently by his side like they’re his bodyguard's. You find yourself catching your breath, relieved that this stranger arrived just in time, potentially saving you from further harm.

Your ex's retort is sharp and defensive. "What the fuck do you want? Can't you mind your fucking business? I'm trying to talk to my girlfriend."

"Ex-girlfriend," the tall man corrects with a firm expression, catching you off guard with his confidence, especially considering he doesn't even know who you are. A soft smile tugs at your lips as your ex rolls his eyes and walks away.

 Finally, he's gone.

The tall man hurries over to you, his dogs following his move. "Are you okay?" he asks, his concern evident despite his neutral expression.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Thank you... for helping me," you reply softly, tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

"Of course. Did he hurt you?"

"No... but if it weren't for you stopping him, I don't know how far he would've gone." A tear escapes, trailing down your cheek. His hands gently cup your face as he wipes away the tear with his thumb, his touch surprisingly gentle. You find yourself getting lost in his eyes, a captivating dark blue unlike any you've seen before. They remind you of the night sky, filled with stars and the moon... oh, how you love the moon. You both share a prolonged gaze, completely lost in each other, until the sound of a car pulling up and a honk breaks the moment.

It's Maki; she's here to pick you up, and you've completely forgotten about your plans. He slowly withdraws his hands from your face, still not breaking eye contact.

You quickly turn your head away from him, feeling the heat rush to your cheeks. Are you blushing? Oh no...

"Sorry... My friend is here to pick me up, and she gets very impatient... Before I go, I just wanted to say thank you so much for your help. I really appreciate it," you manage to say, giving him a genuine smile.

He chuckles softly and returns the smile. "I'm glad you're okay. Have fun with your friend. Tell her to become more of patient person."

You giggle at his response. "Will do!" you reply as you walk towards Maki's car. Once you get in, you wave at the man, and Maki drives off. You can't shake off the feeling of his soft voice and gentle touch lingering on your cheek. God, his touch felt good.

"So... are you going to tell me who that was or...?" Maki interrupts your thoughts.

Shit. You were too deep in thought to realize you were silent for practically five minutes.

"Omg... it's a long story..." you begin, explaining everything to her in detail. Her facial expressions change almost every two seconds, from happy to angry, to relieved, and then happy again.

"Wow... holy fuck, Y/N. That was a fucking rollercoaster. BUT I'M SO PROUD OF YOU FOR BREAKING UP WITH HIM!" she exclaims with extreme excitement.

You giggle at her response. "You're too much sometimes," you tease.

After running errands, you and Maki head out for dinner, and by the time you get back, it is already 10:30 PM. As you both enter Yuta's house, Maki bursts in with her hands in the air.

"GUESS WHO'S SINGLE, BITCHES!!!" she yells in excitement.

Inumaki stands up in shock. "You broke up with Nobara??!!"

Maki's face twists in confusion. "WHAT? NO! What the fuck, Toge."

"Then who??!!" he asks, still clueless.

You start dying of laughter as Yuta and Maki exchange looks before turning back to Inumaki, as if he's the slowest person in the room... which, let's face it, he is, but you'd never tell him that.

"Y/N, you idiot," Maki finally spits out.

"OH MY GOD! YES, FINALLY," Inumaki exclaimed excitedly.

Yuta and Maki slap their foreheads simultaneously. "You're actually so slow," they sigh in unison.

Yuta stands up and walks over to you, enveloping you in a hug, followed by the others.

"You know what time it is!" Yuta says, hinting at something you're clearly unaware of.

"Club time!!!!" Maki chimes in excitedly.

"What?! No, no, no, guys... It's too late, and I'm so tired..." you interject.

"You agreed we would celebrate your breakup..." Inumaki reminds you.

"Yeah... but the club?" you question.

Maki quickly responds, "Nobara invited me and told me to bring you guys too since she knows about your breakup. She thought it would be nice to distract yourself, plus you'll finally get to meet her and her friends too!"

Their expectant gazes make you feel guilty for not wanting to go. They just want you to feel better, and honestly, it's a good way to distract yourself. Well, not from your ex... but from the tall man who saved you. Fuck. You didn't even get his name or his number. Wait... why are you thinking about him so much? You don't even know him... Oh my god, you're so screwed.

"Okay, fine. When are we going?" you concede.

"Now," Yuta says, grabbing your hand and pulling you out of the house, with the others following and getting into Maki's car.

The music is blasting, and the lights are flickering like crazy as you enter the club. You haven't been to a club in a year, so being here with your friends actually feels kind of nice... You all head to the bar and start downing shots one after another. After your fourth shot, you start feeling the alcohol kick in. As you reach for another shot, you feel a hand on your shoulder and a voice whispering in your ear.

"Slow down..."

Wait... this voice... It sounds so familiar. You turn your head quickly and see who it is.

No way.

It's him...

TAGLIST

@nikkimvriee , @xbarrjallenx , @atinymonbebestay , @1l-ynn

GUYS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND LOVE!!!! <3 you don't understand how happy it made me reading your comments hehe

AND FINALLY SHE BROKE UP WITH THAT PIECE OF SHIT!

GO Y/N!!!! She's making me so proud 🥲

[pupyuj]

[cw: smut, thigh riding, fingering, edging]

I SAW YUJIN CLIPS FROM THE LATEST IVE ON AND I JUST HAD TO WRITE THIS‼️‼️ look at her... LOOK AT HERRRR 😩😩😩😩😩 (but not too much, she's my bf 😤)

college au where yujin is a cool and super smart biochem major that kinda gets too focused on her studies that she doesn't really notice you sometimes, which only makes you feel super needy bcs you really miss ur clingy gf but her having tons of workload changed everything in your relationship 💔 but it's not too much of a bad thing! yujin still finds comfort in knowing that you're around her while she's doing work, she can just grab you and hug you if she's feeling like she's sinking way too low into exhaustion — you're her little energizer!! 🥺 but sometimes a hug ain't enough for you :((

one day you're just walking around her room, looking at the polaroids on the wall, the picture frames on her table, the books on her bookshelves... eventually getting bored and just sitting beside yujin on the bed who, as usual, had her eyes clued to her laptop typing away what seems to be her sixth paper of the day??? "baby, aren't you tired?" you were pouting, and a frown only grew on your face when yujin shook her head, but you can see the tired look in her eyes and the way she has slouched over :(( "liar." you muttered before crawling around and settling yourself behind your girlfriend. she was about to complain until you put your hands on her shoulders and started massaging her gently,,

"you're the best, i swear." yujin sighs in bliss, finally releasing the tension on her back,, you hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek, earning a pat on the arm and a sweet smile before she focused on her screen again,,, seriously, she cannot take a hint 😭 you ended up giving her tons of kisses!! from her cheeks, to her temples, to her hair, to her nape, and then to her neck.. where she of course stopped ignoring you anymore after you've snuck your cold hands underneath her sweater, feeling her stomach... "(y/n)... okay, get on here." she finally says!!

making out with yuj on her lapppp 😵‍💫 her closing her laptop from behind you before putting her hands all over you :(( good thing you wore short and thin shorts today bcs you wouldn't feel yujin sneaking her thigh in between your legs and pulling you down so you could press your core against her :((( bucking your hips slowly while she kissed your neck, whispering things to you to get you even more wet,, "you've been a bit lonely, haven't you, babe? don't worry. tonight's gonna be all about you," and "i really did miss you too... i'll show you just how much, 'kay?" omgomg her looking up at you with a big smile, she looked so cute with those big glasses perched on her nose you couldn't help but kiss her again :((((

yujinnie fucking you while you're wearing only her shirt 😩 clutching onto her sweater while she spreads your cunt with her fingers,, she can't stop kissing you too!! she has already left so many marks on you and she only continues to leave more,, she has to let people know you're her baby!! 😤

whining when she pulls her fingers out of you just when you're about to come :(( "i want you to come on my thigh, baby. ride." she tells you while licking your wetness off her fingers,, it was the most attractive thing you've seen 😵‍💫 sihsdkjf yujin grabbing your hips and pressing her thigh against your wet pussy, starting you off in a moderate pace and only letting you go after you were riding her yourself,,, so fast and so desperate to come,,, moaning her name over and over the closer you get to your climax,,, but she rips it away again when she forces you off her thigh :((

"y-yujin-ah, please... i need you, let me come..." you knew yujin had a thing for you begging but you hated the edging part, especially during this time!!!

"right now? but we have the whole night..." yujin wasn't a monster, of course. she'll let you come early, she just thinks you look so cute when you're needy like this 😣😣 it was specially entertaining for her when you didn't even try to beg anymore and just grabbed her hand and put it close to your pussy, looking at her with a pleading look and a pout :((( how could she ever say no to her pretty baby??

yujin sliding her fingers back inside you,, thrusting into you at an insane pace but you're also riding her :(( tears rolling down your cheeks while you hugged her, rocking your hips like crazy on her hand,,, no doubt her dorm mate can hear you from the next room but neither of you really cared,, yujin does three things that made you lose your head: she plunged her fingers inside you as deep as she could, pressed her thumb against your clit, and bite your neck,,, you screamed her name as you came,, making a mess on her hand and her legs 😵‍💫😵‍💫

your cunt still on her bare thigh while you're coming down from your high shsdcdnkhs yujinnie slowly moving her leg so she could still stimulate you,,, laughing at your soft whines and patting your ass,, she would let you rest now but as soon as you've recovered.. 🫣

[beescomet]

V E L O C I T Y || Teaser

At the outskirts of Ninjago City, lies a town by the name of Akumanosu, forgotten by time. There, all forms of illegal activity seems to occure, ranging from burglary, to street racing, to drugs and trafficking. The mayor had demanded it to be closed off from the city, fearful that the evil it harbors will seep into the city, but unbeknownst to him, it already had.

There were very few rules in that land, but one stood out from the rest, unspoken and known by everyone. Is that you may never leave, at least, not alive.

But what happens when you do leave? Gathering enough money from street racing and escaping hell on earth.

Would you finally be able to leave your old life behind and live one of peace? Or would it catch up to you, dragging you back? It wouldn't be fun if the answer was right in front of you.

Especially because the Fates harbor a different plan for you, a prophecy intertwining your life with a group of Ninjas.

"All I wanted was a chance for a normal life! Apparently, that's too much to fucking ask"

⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡ ⋆

"And you are?"

"Y/N"

"Well, I'm Brookstone, Cole Brookstone"

"Are you seriously qouting James Bond?"

"Maybe, did you find it funny?"

⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡ ⋆

"I'm so tired of looking over my shoulder my whole life, I just want a normal life, one where I don't have to worry about being stabbed in the back"

"You don't have to do that anymore, I'll protect you, no matter what. I promise"

⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡ ⋆

"You think its easy trusting others?! It took me years to build up these walls Cole, walls that helped me survive this fucked up universe, they're not just going to come down overnight just because you asked."

"Relationships are supposed to be built on trust Y/N! And you don't trust me, you actively hide things from everyone, from me!"

"You dont get it, you never will."

"Try me, I love you Y/N and I want to help"

"No, cole. You don't love me. You view me as a fucked up damsel in distress in need of saving, you love the idea of fixing me. But you don't love me, if you did. We wouldn't be in this situation"

⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡ ⋆

"Y/N, please, please, stay with me Doll, fuck you're bleeding so much. look at me, don't close your eyes, keep your pretty eyes on me, gorgeous. I can't lose you. Anyone but you. I promised. I promised-!"

"..."

⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡ ⋆

A/N: Everyone say thank you to @crackedpumpkin for inspiring me to start writing this (ily). Literally read their stuff its so 💖💖🩷💖🩷🫶🏼🫶🏼.

I'm excited to share this idea with everyone, but I wanted to give out a small warning that it may not be the best considering that the last time I wrote anything I was in highschool (for context, I'm a 3rd year college student now). So please be nice, I'm open to constructive criticism as long as it's respectful. The first chapter will (hopefully) be out soon. I hope you guys enjoy it. I don't want the A/N to be any longer, so imma end it here, enjoy the story, and have fun!! 🫶🏼

[khaleesiofalicante]

A little advice and rant (because for some reason writing things here makes me feel better and hopefully doesn't, in-turn makes your mood somber)

Do you have days when you feel unproductive? What do you do?

This feels embarrassing to admit but I used to be one of those kids who got full marks in school and like the first year in college and now I can feel all that slipping away. I constantly feel like my parents are always disappointed in me. If they call me out, I lash out at them. The fact that I'm writing this is idk humiliating me, but I can't just keep it inside me anymore. Now I feel like I was never smart, I was just really good at faking it and now I'm not? I'm tired of faking it... what scares me is how i have started excepting what I am. It just terrifies me sometimes seeing what I have become. I feel angry when I tell this to a friend and they tell me oh ur smart ul make it and I just wanna scream at them like NO CANT YOU SEE IT IM NOT.

I'm glad you can come talk to me about stuff. I've always liked being someone people can talk to.

I do have days that I feel unproductive, but what you're describing sounds like a phase (for the lack of a better word).

As someone who was also the straight-A student in school, I always felt like school was... easier. College is something that is genuinely difficult in terms of the content we learn, the way we learn, the way we are taught, and our peers too. So, firstly, don't be too hard on yourself if you're struggling in college because it's supposed to be a little difficult.

Secondly, college gets harder every year—quite literally. So I think comparing yourself to your grades (or the amount of energy you had) during your first year to now is unfair to you. We don't have infinite amounts of energy and fucks to give. We do have finite amounts of passion for sure. These things get drained slowly, especially as we grow up. So that's why it's so important to study/work on things we enjoy and are passionate about so it's a little easier for us.

As someone whose self-esteem is very much tied to their intelligence, I understand you deeply. I once had a panic attack (a bad one) in my college bathroom when I found out I got a B in a subject. I remember my mom laughing and being like, "That's it? You're so dramatic," when I felt like I was literally collapsing.

So, I get you. I understand the need to be smart. But what I have moved away from is trying to measure my smartness through my grades. Because guess what? Grades don't fucking matter when you leave school/uni. It's not how we judge ourselves or our abilities. Now once you leave school/uni. It is a ridiculous system, and we mustn't let it make us feel shit about ourselves.

Just because you are not getting the same grades you used to, it doesn't mean you're not smart anymore. You do realize you literally know more than you did 2 or 3 years ago? You know more than you did a month ago? You are literally getting smarter every day. Just because it's not reflected in your grades doesn't mean you're not smart.

The fact that your grades are slipping could be because of so many things. The exam marking styles could have changed, the teachers could've become stricter, the subject might be harder, or maybe you have more difficulty remembering details because you are older and your brain has more things to focus on now. It could be any number of things. These are all things you can work on and improve.

There are lots of ways you can do this. Consider using a new learning style. I was always someone who learned visually, and I experimented with auditory learning in uni and realized voices are actually easier to remember than visuals (especially when I got older and could focus better). You can learn with others. It's okay to think of yourself as smart, but don't ever think you're the smartest person in the room - that shit is bad for you. So if you're struggling, look at the people who are not. Ask them to help. It doesn't make you stupid or small. Asking for help is the smartest thing anyone who wants to survive can do.

These are all things you can do to "get better" and go back to those standards you have set for yourself.

But from my heart, I tell you, don't try to live up to the standards you set for yourself when you were in school. The way you judged yourself in school cannot be the same system you judge yourself as an adult. It's two completely different lives, and trying to live up to those standards will only make you feel shit about yourself.

For what it's worth, I don't think you were faking it before. People don't feel so guilty and bad about losing something they faked. If this is something you want to fix and get back to those old grades, then like I said, try new things and see what works and what doesn't. But if you don't want to try too hard, that's okay too. It's not something to be ashamed about. I think the standards we set for ourselves should be based on our current realities, not our past or our future.

I am sure you will figure this one out and will feel like yourself again. You are smart. I have faith in you. You got this.

PS - Not to condone violence, but it's impossible to feel smart when the people around you make you feel stupid, so I don't blame you for lashing out at your parents. If their lack of support is making things worse, you need to tell them. If they want you to be smart, then they better act like it too.

Love 💜

[astromechs]

If you're still accepting prompts, 4 or 31 for Rebelcaptain? I love your drabbles!

oh, thank you so much, anon! this is for prompt 31, this is me swallowing my pride, which.... back to december just screamed melodramatic college au antics ghfdjks also on ao3! taylor swift lyric prompts; still accepting!

“Jyn, can you get away from the bag and actually talk to me for a second?”

It hadn’t taken years of friendship to know that Leia is nothing if not fucking persistent (read: stubborn), because that had pretty much presented itself on day one — but recently, she’s turned the dial up on that to a really fucking annoying extent. She’s insisted that they get lunch together almost everyday for the past two weeks, and now, on a Saturday morning, well before most people their age even usually think about being awake, she’s shown up here at the gym, Jyn’s one place of peace, to continue with her hassling campaign.

Later, she’s going to talk to Uncle Chirrut. It’s great that he’s always been so fond of Leia, because even as protective as he is, that’d allowed him to keep accepting her as part of Jyn’s life even after the messy end to the romantic aspect of their relationship, but right now, when she just wants to be fucking left alone? That, the fact that he’d given up her location so easily, when she’d specifically asked him not to, is a betrayal.

For now, she’ll just cut her eyes in her friend’s direction and otherwise not move from in front of the punching bag, squaring up for another round against it. She’ll just say, curtly, “We can talk like this.”

Leia huffs out an irritated sigh, but she can’t just leave well enough alone there, can she? Of course she can’t. She has to walk over here, grab the punching bag with both hands, and get right in Jyn’s face, with an equally curt:

“No, we can’t.” Her eyes are narrowed in a way that probably scares the living piss out of Han Solo (and it fucking should, he needs a few more things to be scared of) — but since Jyn is more than used to this, it has no effect on her. Still, Leia presses on. “Because like this, you’re avoiding me, and you’re avoiding the question.”

And still, Jyn doesn’t cave; she can stand her ground on this all day if she has to, because she’s not the one who invaded somebody else’s space and peace and decided to act all entitled about it. Fucking try her.

She makes another fist and aims it for the bag, only for Leia’s grip on the thing to mean it has absolutely no give; she’s strong for her size, as well as her relative lack of training, and Jyn can give her that, too. That’s all she’s going to give credit for, right now, especially when the next thing out of Leia’s mouth is, again —

“What happened with you and Cassian?”

“I told you,” is what Jyn tosses back, the same thing she’s tossed back for at least the past week and a half — only this time, she sounds a lot more irritated about it. And if anyone has a right to anything here, it’s her and this, because she’s fucking tired of it. She clenches her jaw, and aims another punch. “It was bad, it’s over, and there’s no point in wasting time talking about it.”

That punch has enough force to make Leia slide back on her feet; it’s not enough to make her lose her balance, but almost. Maybe Jyn’s annoyed, but she doesn’t want to actively injure her friend or something, so that, for the first time, makes her stop. Makes her heave a heavy sigh and step back from the bag, unwrap her hands, and toss it all haphazardly to the floor.

Makes her actually meet Leia’s eyes with earnest; she doesn’t like the concern that she sees in them, because it’s not something she can easily fight with.

Jyn doesn’t like when the options for a fight dwindle down; she’s not really good with knowing what to do beyond them.

Leia pushes the bag aside and steps around it, moving to fall into step at Jyn’s side. Laying a soft hand on her shoulder, she offers an equally soft, “Get a shower, then come to lunch with me. You’re not doing yourself any favors just staying in here all the time. It’ll feel better. I promise.”

Somehow, Jyn highly doubts that. But, without a better option in front of her at the moment, she nods, mutely, and lets herself be led out of the gym.

As it turns out, Uncle Chirrut hasn’t committed the only betrayal of the day.

Because when she’d arrived at the burger place with Leia, Jyn had quickly learned that they weren’t alone. No, there’d been two other people seated at the table that Leia had led them to: Bodhi — and Cassian.

She’d been raised with just enough decency to not scream obscenities in front of a bunch of patrons trying to enjoy a Saturday lunch — some of whom are friends of her parents, and some of whom have small children — but they shouldn’t believe for a second, Jyn thinks, that she’s fucking okay with this. Because she isn’t; she still won’t be fucking okay with this in fifty years. It isn’t even wholly the Cassian part of the issue, it’s —

Look, it’s one thing for Leia to try for one of her stupid schemes on her own, but to drag someone else into it? Someone like Bodhi, who’s way too nice for this shit by himself, and so, therefore, clearly was pulled along for the ride against his will? Inexcusable. Unforgivable.

And now, Leia has dragged Bodhi off completely to another table at the far end of the dining room, leaving Jyn and Cassian alone with their food and enough awkward tension that even some kind of fucking turboknife would never get through.

Later, Jyn’s not going to just punch the bag with Leia holding it; she’s just going to punch her, period. This is a promise.

It’s one she seals by stabbing the french fry she’s been idly swirling around her plate with her finger, covering it in ketchup, and making her plate clatter in the process.

That seems to shake Cassian out of some kind of trance, and when she glances up, finally — she happens to note that he’s actually looking at her. What’s weird to notice is that it actually isn’t with hostility, at least definitely not like the note they’d parted on; no, if she had to piece it together, she thinks she sees something sad lingering in those brown eyes. A longing, maybe, that she’s felt so acutely, so painfully, for weeks now, one that’s kept her up at night and plagued her into her waking hours, too.

Or maybe she’s just projecting.

Jyn exhales a long sigh, and in all ways but verbal, slowly counts to ten. Then, she opens her mouth.

“I’m sorry —”

“I —”

But she isn’t the only one to do it.

A silence, more painfully awkward than ever, falls over the table between them again. She swirls her french fry around again, dropping her gaze back to her plate; when takes a chance on flicking her eyes away from it, she sees Cassian fidget. It’s not something that would be noticeable to everyone, but it is to her, because she knows him.

She knows him, and fuck, her life has been miserable without him in it.

Maybe he is thinking the same thing, maybe she hasn’t been alone in this, because he swallows visibly, and with a vague gesture of his hand, in a tight voice, he offers, “You first.”

For the second time in as many minutes, Jyn takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry for Leia,” she begins, haltingly. “I know this was her idea, and she shouldn’t have roped Bodhi into it. That’s an asshole thing to do.”

But that’s not enough, is it? For all her anger that’s been consuming her for weeks, for all the punching bags she’s destroyed and all the number of pencils she’s snapped when the thought of him has drifted into her mind while zoning out during linear algebra homework, Jyn knows: this is on her.

It’s like her father had told her so many times, and even as recently as last year: You can know everything in the universe, Stardust, but if you aren’t honest, if you aren’t decent, it doesn’t mean anything.

“And I’m sorry —” This requires another deep breath from her; as much as she tries to keep it steady, it shakes. Still, she wills herself to look up and meet his gaze, to keep it, because this is important. “About what I said. I was an asshole, too.”

There it is. It feels as heavy leaving her mouth as it had sitting in her chest, and she’s not sure if there’s any relief to be found. Maybe there isn’t supposed to be.

Still, she doesn’t take her eyes off of him. And, eventually:

“So was I.”

His voice is quiet in that pensive way she knows well, but there’s a hint of the same heaviness that’d been in her, too. They’ve both been fucking miserable. They’ve both —

A hand reaches across the table, slipping into one of hers. Not the one covered in ketchup, of course, but the other one. Fingers give hers a gentle squeeze; she doesn’t hesitate to do the same in return.

Things feel not just lighter, but brighter, already.

One of the corners of her mouth quirks up. “We don’t let them know that their plan worked?”

“Absolutely not,” he says, with that exact hint of dry, subtle humor she’s missed so much as he props both elbows on the tables, leaning forward conspiratorially. “Let them sweat it out. They deserve it for that kind of shameless coercion.”

Before she can ever have a hope of stopping it, a grin cracks onto Jyn’s mouth, and Cassian smiles back.

[marshmallowprotection]

Hi Kait! Admittedly, I'm a little embarrassed to ask this, since I'm fairly certain you'll recognize me, but I was looking around your page and I saw that match-ups were open, and... given my intense conflict regarding who the literal fuck I'd actually work well within MysMe, I thought I'd give it a shot. It's a lot easier to talk about myself under the guise of anonymity, so I suppose I'll start there. I'm a college freshman diagnosed with anxiety and depression hoping to get my double major in Psychology and Philosophy, and an eventual PHD in Psych. I am prone to overworking myself and tend to use escapism as an outlet for the fact that I'm never particularly satisfied with my own effort. I spend most of my free time outside of class sitting in my room working on art, writing, or trying to socialize with people (be it online or offline). I play a fair amount of games, but barely have the time to do so because of my tendency to overwork myself. I did a lot of theater and performance throughout my life, so I have a passion for watching musicals and assisting in performances backstage. I like being onstage as well, but previously it's proved more trouble than it's worth, especially since I'm always the 'reliable' cast, not the 'talented' cast. I also have an interest in flower language and plants, despite the fact that I kill most every plant I touch. As for my personality... that one is a little complicated. Offline I perceive myself to be an absolute anxious wreck. I'm always tired and always running around in an attempt to keep up with my responsibilities. However, outwardly people tend to perceive me as confident and knowledgable. I do wonderful in my academics and have a love for debate and asking hard questions, even if internally I am screaming at myself for stuttering or seeming silly. Online I tend to be a lot more open about myself and my emotions, but still fairly guarded as I try my best to maintain my privacy. I try to make people happy and build connections online since I feel more 'myself' there. Once I get close to someone I tend to enjoy peaceful silence with them. I'm a very physically affectionate person as words fail me so often, and I like listening to people just not too much. Chatterboxes get on my nerves, especially when someone repeats the same phrase over and over again. I have noise sensitivity issues as well, which doesn't help things. I'm also terrified of water - specifically the ocean. Any mention of swimming and I panic. I also have slight jealousy issues due to past relationship trauma. I'm 5'7 with a brown pixie cut that's admittedly a little overgrown right now, rose gold rounded square glasses with a slight cat eye, and blue-green eyes that tend to shift colors depending on what I'm wearing. I have quite a few birthmarks littered on my skin - most importantly one above my lip and another under my right eye. My ears are pierced, and I tend to wear black hoops unless I'm dressing up. Day to day I tend to look like your typical tired college student, but if I'm going somewhere I try to dress in cottagecore style attire with lots of sparkly makeup. I'm pan, and my love languages are physical touch and quality time. Something as simple as a hug or a hand to hold can turn me from stressed and panicked to melty and calm in minutes. I value intelligence a lot in a person, which is why I tend to like the nerdy types of characters in media. I also need someone who isn't shy about reminding me to not beat myself up. I tend to spiral anxiety wise a lot, especially if I believe that I've hurt my partner. I want someone who'll be there for me despite the mistakes that we might make. Someone long term. I have two partners currently, but I don't think that I'd end up polyamorous in any other circumstance than those two. Thank you for taking the time to read this, Kait. I apologize for how lengthy it ended up being haha. Please remember that you're greatly appreciated! Have a wonderful day. — 🌸

I match you with...

Jumin!

You value quiet intimacy.

You're not looking for a relationship where you feel as though you have to fill in the silence every waking moment. You want somebody that you can be comfortable with and being comfortable means the world to you. That's what you value at the end of the day. You're not looking for something that has way more energy than you can even remotely handle, you're looking for something that is peaceful and brings you a sense of contentment with your life.

You don't want something that's overwhelmingly fraught with energy. You want to be with somebody after a long day, not saying anything, and just sharing a look that says all that needs to be said. That's your ideal relationship. Mutual understanding. No pressure. Just a silence that says, "I'm here, I'm listening, and you're safe" both ways.

Which is why I was torn between Jaehee and Jumin when I looked at your submission without bias. Ultimately, I came to this conclusion as soon as I noted how you felt as though you needed a partner who had the ability to say something when you need a reminder to be nicer to yourself. and Jumin isn't one to mince words. He'll say what needs to be said and he won't hold back.

That is because he understands that if you are close to him, you'll understand where he's coming from when he says things to you in a very matter-of-fact way. He's not the kind of person who will hold back when you need to hear something.

He understands that you're going to know what he means when he says something bluntly. That's the important thing about being in a relationship with him. He said something from the heart, and he won't hold back if you have communicated to him that you need him to be honest. He will expect the same from you because that is what a great relationship is founded on. Communication. You don't have to be afraid of holding back when you’re with him. 

[tyonfs]

🎀’s pre ramadan update finally!!

okay lol i cant really remember what i talked abt in my last one but first of all ramadan mubarak!!! to preface this very very long update how are you alice? i saw u said that u fucked things up with that talking stage (?) i think that’s what u said IF HES A GOOD GUY GO FOR IT!!!

you probs can’t remember but i think i did mention things about my friend group. okay so basically im just gonna name drop it does nawt matter but my friend emily, we’ve been friends since high school and she goes to a college an hour ish away and lemme tell u she has been so fake. she got a boyfriend and she likes to act very differently when she has one she basically talks down to me because i have a bad track record so there’s that. because of that i’ve grown closer to my other friends from our same high school who go to my college and we’re really close!! one of the girls invited me to her sorority formal and even got me a date! overall im really excited 🙈 i wish we were insta moots or smth so i could show u but nonetheless. now with that friend group it was originally a trio BUT this one girl, gabbi, we’ve been friends since 1st grade and she felt like she was excluded so we became closer and the other girls basically said i was replacing them and it was this whole thing but gabbi isn’t friends with them anymore but they’re cool with me? gabbi doesn’t care bc she’s mature and i love that girly for that. so much!

ughhh relationships. literally nothing i’ve officially gotten the ick from arsal FINALLY GUYS IM OVER HIM LIKE ACTUALLY OVER HIM. so amazing. i feel a lil lighter and a lot better abt myself. i’m about to buy a whole new wardrobe for JUNIOR YEAR. omg literally the time went by so quick i just told u how nervous i was to be a sophomore and now im one step closer to graduating and getting my degree. NERVY.

besides that school is going great as always we been knew im literally a smarty pants. i’ve been into like sza and frank ocean lately, my summer artists luv em SPEAKING OF SUMMER im so excited 🙈🙈🙈 so so excited. in other words i listened to enhas new ish album IT WAS REALLY GOOD. i’m upset i didn’t listen earlier. honestly the only grp i can some how care about is enha because lesserafim keeps on supporting isnotreal and it’s really tiring.

because of the war, i see how palestinians are still connected with their faith and still praying all though all that’s happening and alhamdulillah although i had not strayed too far from my faith, i feel more connected especially ramadan starting. i’ve been praying more regularly and even starting the quran again. inshallah this ramadan will be good!

i’ve been reading ur smau on jayflrt and it’s GOOOOOD luv it so far. how was that spontaneous trip!! give me an update alice i miss u!!! - 🎀

OMG i can't remember if i wished you in my other blog but ramadan mubarak ml !! 💘💘 OH SHIT yes i did fuck things up.... i think hes a good guy but HMM i think we both have different goals for what our first date was gonna be so im on the fence :p

i do rememeber this yes !! this is the one from the last ask i answered right?? you can send your ig if you're comfortable and i'll follow (and delete the ask obv so i don't expose your ig to everyone HAHAH) 🥰🥰 but your other friends from high school sound so much better than emily and i hope things go well with the sorority formal guy!! omg idk why they would claim that you were replacing them :// but i'm glad gabbi took it well and is mature about the distancing !! that's so much easier for everyone involved :')

YESSS CONGRATS ON BEING FREE 🥳 no seriously it feels like divine intervention when you finally get the ick from a guy you like that turns you off him for good LOL also GOOD LUCK FOR JUNIOR YEAR you're so close to being one degree hotter <33 enjoy the last two years of undergrad it'll fly by so fast :') AND I FULLY SUPPORT THE NEW WARDROBE YOU SHOULD BALL OUT

omg i do remember you saying you're into enha more than nct now ! but orange blood was SOOO good 😩 wait i need to know your biases and when you got into them too 🙏 are you going to their concert too?? i went to the fate tour so i don't think i'm gonna commit to fate+ unfortunately 🤧 and omg yeah i keep seeing lesserafim with starbucks like ?? and especially yunjin too,, i wouldn't have expected it from her of all people :/ and the whole argument like "oh starbucks isn't on the bds list" like okay yeah well two of their major shareholders literally make the weapons that the us military is providing for israel and at the end of the day it's just a matter of morals too

ahh i hope you have a wonderful ramadan ml!! i hope it'll be a good month for you to be in tune with your faith more ! also i'm so glad you like the jay smau so far !! 🥹🥹 it's a little intimidating to write but i enjoy it HAHAH also the trip was really fun !! i picked up my friends and we drove to our other friend's place to spend the weekend there and we went to the beach and went clubbing :') tbh the weather wasn't the best unfortunately but we did the best we could 🥲 also i drank so much that i'm swearing off alcohol for like 3 months 😭

[mangodestroyer]

Gabriel probably doesn't realize this, but being kind goes a long way. And so does being intelligent. Crowley finds both of these qualities very attractive. He knows Aziraphale will treat him right, and that's what he wants at the end of the day. Crowley has had his fair share of hot men who ended up being assholes. He'll take this more homely guy over them any day.

Yeah, Aziraphale is well aware that going cold turkey just won't work. And he can tell that Crowley, especially with his job and all his mental health problems, just wants quick and convenient. He doesn't have the energy for anything more. Simply putting out more fruit now and then is probably enough to tempt him to eat healthier. Making fun meals that are healthy also helps. Azi probably doesn't mind cooking for him anyways, as long as he helps with the clean up. Which Crowley will cause he's a minimalist neat freak.

And as for the mental health problems, I'm sure Azi does wonders for him there too. Even something as simple as a shoulder rub now and then is enough to help Crowley feel better. At the end of the day, he's only asking for so little. Having a healthy relationship with someone probably took away half his mental health problems in the long run.

Oh, yeah. I remember when I was still in high school, I would tell myself just to not do something useless, like English. But after two years of college, I started hearing so many horror stories about fucking STEM majors struggling to find employment, and when they do, it pays so little (or sometimes nothing at all). And if you're AFAB or a POC, it's even worse. People raised female, or who present female, often end up getting chased out of those fields due to harassment and discrimination. Being barred from the good wages and everything. Don't get me wrong, I'll still finish my degree and give it a shot, but my optimism for... anything really has been utterly destroyed at this point. And tbh, I'm not even sure if I would have gone to college in the first place had I not been one of the lucky few to get most of it for free. I had a scholarship in my first two years that covered so much of my schooling, that I was basically getting paid to have an education. I don't see how I would have been able to do this without financial aid and scholarships. I would have been in so much debt. And for... nothing if it turns out I'll be just like those other AFAB individuals who go nowhere in STEM. At this point, I have to wonder why I didn't just use the free college for something very useless but very fun. At least I might have made some friends had I done something like creative writing or English. And hell, I could have probably gotten myself into a very good school for that too.

I think people seriously underestimate the misery of living in poverty and working a shitty job. Two years at my current job has left me a fucking husk of a human being. It's made me realize that so many people on this planet are honestly shit. And while I hated being around rich snobs at the prestigious engineering school, at least some people there were genuinely nice and actually earned a place there (oh, what I'd do if I could turn back time, I should have spent more time around those people rather than the bad company I attracted). I stg, poverty brings out the worst in people. So many of my co-workers come from troubled backgrounds, just like me, and no offense to other people from troubled backgrounds, but I'm sick, so fucking sick, of being around that misery. Like, for one, bad childhoods seem to make half the people who experience them abusive assholes themselves. And if they don't end up being abusers, they end up being difficult to deal with in some other way. Again, I know that makes me a hypocrite, but there's only so much a person can take, and I'm tired of being an emotional punching bag. I'm also tired of being around others who have tried to do better, but ended up going nowhere. That shit is depressing af. Or even worse, they did actually make some seriously stupid life decisions and now they want you to feel bad for them. Meanwhile, they'll judge every little thing you do wrong and ask way too many questions about your personal life. Again, so many people are shit in so many different ways, omfg.

That's probably what Crowley's dealing with. Lots of miserable people wasting their lives away in poverty. That's probably why some of his co-workers take out their anger on him. Including Hastur. He also has to deal with shit from his roommates. Crowley probably doesn't even recognize the person he's become at this point. Maybe he finds it hard to believe that he's had hobbies and aspirations in life. Speaking from experience, before I started working crappy jobs, I used to be able to do so much more. Go on hikes, hang out with people, make appointments without feeling exhausted in doing so, plan out entire field guides for stories, analyze things on a deep level, THINK clearly at all, etc. Now... I can't handle anything more than mindless pleasures. I'm proud of myself even if I get a one-shot posted. I used to beat myself up over not getting a longfic finished when I already had three quarters of it written. God damn, I used to have 200 page novels laying around that I'd written myself! I used to READ novels! I used to read fanfic like it was my job!

Also, maybe it's tmi, but I feel like retail has also turned me... aroace? I'm not going to claim the label or anything. I know I'm not. But like... in a way it seems I've become that way because of the situation. I just remember after about two weeks at my current job, suddenly losing a lot of desire for that kind of thing, and now I'm to the point where I have no desire, and like I said, I lost lots of my desire to indulge in many things I used to enjoy as well. It probably doesn't help that my ex never wanted to kiss me and all that. That took my confidence away for sure. After a life time of not being desired, I get into a relationship with someone who claimed to be really attracted to me, only to not be desired. Tbh, I don't think it's a bad thing that I lost interest. Even if I don't like the reasons behind why it happened, I like being able to fantasize about other things that honestly seem more important anyway. Like having a better job for one. And no longer feeling gross for having those feelings too. Because I was honestly starting to. Idk, maybe it's just another sign that my spirit died, but I feel like it's way more respectable to fantasize about reading books and all that. Because I'd love a life where I didn't have much to worry about and could just do stuff like read and all that. I just want friends too. I don't even care for a relationship at this point. Relationships don't seem like they're worth it irl. Too much work and you probably won't be treated right/have your needs or desires met anyway. Friends are a lot easier. At least, in my experience. Maybe I just got lucky as a teen.

It'd probably be cheaper for both of them if Crowley moved in. If Azi was living at his place by himself, then he probably does something that makes a decent amount of money compared to Crowley's job. So maybe he is a fitness trainer, or he runs a highly successful book selling business. Maybe he's published a few books of his own and they've actually sold lots of copies. Also, if Crowley found himself a better job, a far less exhausting one, he'd probably go above and beyond keeping the place clean. Azi probably isn't good about that himself. He likely needs Crowley's touch around the place.

For some reason, I can actually imagine human Azi being conscientious about his health.

Now, don't get me wrong, he wouldn't be a total health nut. For one, he seems the type who was naturally built to be a little more stout. He wouldn't beat himself up too much over being overweight (but he feels bad when people pick on him for it, and unfortunately, body insecurities are just too common with how ruthlessly society picks on appearance). He just tries to keep off whatever isn't normal for him. He'll still indulge in desserts and all that too.

He just also makes sure that he has healthy, fresh meals. And they're fucking delicious. He can easily inspire human Crowley to actually eat well/work on his eating habits (Crowley is definitely the skinny person who spends long periods of time not eating, or eating very little, and then scarfs down a bunch of junk food). Aziraphale probably tries to encourage Crowley to live a healthier lifestyle in general because lets face it, human Crowley would just not be very kind to his mortal body.

Gabriel, on the other hand, he's the obnoxious gym rat. The fatphobic POS who picks of Azi's weight, even when he's exercising. He tells Azi to do more even though he's already going on walks, doing his stretches, and lifting weights. In other words, he's more of a nuisance rather than a help. He'd probably pick on human Crowley too for being too slender.