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avenirdelight · 2 years ago

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A False Accusation

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They have a heated argument where she drops an accusation on him. He claims that it’s a false accusation.

⚠️ Curse words

“You don't love me.”

She voiced the words to the room, clearly and firmly. Strangely enough, saying it out loud didn’t make her chest feel lighter like she’d thought it would. It still felt as suffocating as it had been.

“Wow,” he scoffed, his shoulders shook when he did. “That’s a terrible accusation, that.”

She glanced at him, but she quickly dropped her gaze again after she noticed the hurt plastered all over his face. He couldn’t believe that she had the audacity to say such cruel words.

“And also,” he continued, leaning forward on the sofa, propping his body with his elbows on his knees. “It’s a false accusation. That’s terrible from you.”

She was sitting on the other sofa across from him, leaning back and folding her arms in front of her chest. She could feel his eyes boring into her and she couldn’t resist the temptation to stare back at him. So she did.

She gritted her teeth. Those eyes were angry, those eyes had used to look at her in the most special way. She refused to believe that it was just in her head, that she was just making it up, because she had used to easily fall in love all over again every time she looked at those eyes but at some point, she started to feel that they’d changed.

“Really?” She challenged him, giving him a sharp look that matched his.

He scoffed again, pinching the bridge of his nose in stress. He shook his head. He couldn’t quite believe that she truly believed that he didn’t love her. Where did it even come from?

“Are you telling me that I lie every time I tell you I love you? Mind you, I say that every single day,” he said. But she was silent, so he continued. “Don’t I always give you everything? Make sure that you have everything you need, that you’re safe?” He asked. If she forgot about that, he was ready to remind her of all the things he did for her. Everything that he needed to sacrifice. “I give you my world.”

“You give me your money.” Her voice was firm and certain. And it stabbed him right in his heart.

It wasn’t that she was ungrateful for everything he’d given her. Moving her into his big house, constantly buying her expensive gifts, taking her to travel the world on holidays, giving her a luxury life—but that wasn’t the reason she’d fallen in love with him. She was never in it for the dime.

She had fallen in love with him for who he was. Or at least who he had used to be.

“I’m thankful that you gave me this wonderful life but I really don’t need the latest Prada release or to be on a yacht every holiday. I don’t need new jewellery every time you feel sorry, I don’t need you to surprise me with flowers in the morning just for you to go missing for the rest of the day.”

“I thought you liked them. Have you been lying, then?”

“I do appreciate them but that’s not the point! The point is I need you!” She sounded so desperate. She honestly had been feeling this way for a while and she hoped that this time he was really listening to her. “I just need a little bit of your time, for you to be with me, and not just physically. You’re with me but your head is somewhere else. I need you to just look at me, I–”

“Well, I’m sorry, okay?!” He cut her off, the tone of his voice rising up. “I’m sorry that my work demands so much of my time, it asks so much from me, I’ve always told you that from the beginning. My career is my life and there would be rough bumps along the way. Things get hard, things–”

“Yeah, that’s the problem, don’t you see??” Her tone was as high now, it was only adding to the tension. “You run away from me when things get hard for you. You don’t even want to share anything with me. You give me gifts and temporary attention to ‘make up’ for it. Every time!” She stood up from the sofa. She frustratingly pointed a finger against her chest, giving him a piercing gaze. “Am I so untrustworthy or unreliable? Am I that insufferable to deal with so you don’t want to open up to me?”

“Don’t.” He shook his head, clenching his fists. “Don’t start making up things now. I never for a second think about you that way.”

“Well, you always make me wonder. Wonder why you shut me out.” She shrugged. “It’s the truth, you can’t deny it. You always leave me out of things.”

“I’m just protecting you!” He abruptly stood up. “I can’t– I’m sorry if it’s hard for me to share things that I know would just hurt you and stress you out!” He moved his hands animatedly and quite angrily. “Don’t you understand?! I am saving you the troubles and the pain!”

“I want the f*cking pain!!”

Her voice pierced through his ears and he froze in his place, feeling shivers down his spine. He clenched his jaw and gulped. The anger, the desperation, the pain that she had been holding in, she’d just let it all out. She’d gotten so upset at this point, the tears quickly pooled in her eyes and threatened to fall. It pained him even more. He had never seen her like this.

“I’d rather feel the pain, suffer with you.” Her voice was small and timid this time, but there were so many emotions in it. “I’d choose that, rather than feeling left out and not appreciated. I promise you that’s the worst thing to feel. I hate it. I absolutely f*cking hate it.”

He sat back down, burying his face into his hands, trying to compose himself and find the right words to say. He felt her anger, her sadness, but he also needed her to understand that he did everything for a reason.

He let out a little sigh as he looked up to her. Her tears were already streaming down her cheeks.

“I don't live a normal life and all I’m trying to do is to keep you out of the abnormalities and all the absurd things. The sh*t people say out there, it gets scary sometimes. People are actually willing to do foolish and crazy things to bring me down.” He spoke with a more gentle tone, trying to reason with her. “And if you’re hurt, if something bad happens to you, I won’t be able to forgive myself.”

She wiped her tears away with her shaky hands, before she hugged herself with arms, trying to provide herself some comfort. He didn’t only sound serious, he also sounded sorry.

“What do you want me to do, then?” He stared at her with tired eyes. The anger in his eyes had worn off, it even looked like he was going to cry. “I’m sorry. I really am.” His voice was a bit shaky. “I’ll do whatever makes you happy. Please. I can’t lose you. What am I going to be if I lose you?”

Her heart clenched painfully. She couldn’t deny that it was heartbreaking to see himself asking the question—like he was really scared to lose her, like his world would crumble down in an instant if he lost her. She had never seen him like this before. He’d always appeared strong in front of her, like nothing could ever bring him down, like no one could ever catch him looking weak.

“Every single thing that I’ve ever done is to protect you and to make you happy, to earn your love. Most of the time I don’t think I deserve you, you know. Because you deserve more than this f*cking fool,” he said pointing at himself. “Who apparently doesn’t know how to love. I’m sorry if I’ve done it the wrong way and made you feel the opposite way.”

Without her even realising it, what she’d been wishing to see was happening right in front of her—for him to open up to her and show his vulnerable side. Her tears fell again, but for a different reason this time. She felt his confusion, his sorrow, and she was hurting with him.

After a moment of deafening silence, he suddenly stood up. He approached her, who was just standing with her head down. He grabbed her by her waist and turned her to look at him. He fixed her dishevelled hair, tucking stray strands of hair to the back of her ears. He lifted her head up by her chin, before he continued to wipe her tears again. Every touch was so gentle, every touch felt gave her warmth and comfort that she’d been longing.

“Look at me, please,” he said. She finally shifted her gaze up and stared back at him. His eyes were looking at her fondly. “I love you so much. Please believe me.” He choked up, trying his best to convey his feelings through his voice. “I took you home to my mum and told her you’re the most special person in my life, I try to treat you like a queen, I see you and talk about you like you’re my prized possession, because you are.”

She listened to him. She tried to really listen to him. And honestly, this time it wasn’t so hard to believe him. She appreciated that he was finally opening up, even though it had taken them quite a long time to get there, not to mention all the struggle they had had to go through. But he finally found his courage to be fragile.

“Do you know what? You don’t have to be strong all the time,” she said as his hands fell to her waists and safely rested there. Her voice was almost a whisper. “I’m your girlfriend. You have a responsibility to protect me, but I also have a responsibility to be your partner. So let me do my part.” She held his face and stroked a thumb on his cheek. “We do this together. We’re supposed to go through happiness and sadness together, we go through all the troubles together. You hear me?”

“Yeah, I hear you.” He nodded. “I’m really sorry, okay? I love you,” he said again, before she pulled him into a hug.

“I love you too. I love you,” she mumbled against his shoulder. She heard him letting out a sob as his chest and shoulders shook. He held her tight, and it had been a while since it felt like this. She felt heard and seen. She felt loved. It was all she ever wanted.

And he couldn’t describe the wave of relief that washed over him. He really thought that his biggest fear, losing her, was really going to happen. He realised that he’d actually failed her. All this time he had loved her his own way which he thought was the best and the safest way but apparently, it didn’t give her the safety he wanted for her. She was right—they had to do this together, and it meant that he had to listen to her, count her thoughts and feelings.

He would try. He promised he would try his best to see her how she wanted to be seen, and love her how she wanted to be loved. Because she was the most important person in his life, and he’d do anything to make himself deserve her.

—

i had this sitting on my draft and i almost forgot about it! i kept switching between john and hendo when i wrote it. tell me who you imagined this! i hope you enjoyed it<3

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