#Episode The price of happiness
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punish : 벌하다
If he hadn't changed, he might have been able to heal him. He could have woken up Cross sooner.
만약 변하지 않았더라면 크로스를 치유할 수 있을지도,, 더 빨리 크로스를 깨울 수 있었겠죠
✧✧✧ ✧✧✧
이번 주제를 보고 다크크림 만화 장면이 떠올랐는데, 크로스가 기절한 사이 드림은 어떤 생각을 했는지, 개인적으로 너무 궁금하기도 했고 자책 ���명했을 거고 그럼 뭔가 벌 받는 뉘양스 같다 란 생각으로 이어져서 ? 인 것같고?? 아무튼 그 만화의 대사들 중에, 내가 짊어져야 할 십자가야 << 이거 너무 과몰입on이에요
#dark cream week#dark cream week 2023#shattered dream#cross!sans#dark cream#LEVEL 5#he punishes himself#Episode The price of happiness#inspired by cartoons#다크크림
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I FORGOT TO THROW OUT AFTER THE EPISODE RELEASED NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
#hand jumper#webtoon#sayeon lee#heron#ig??? BRUH..................#these fireworks are going to SET ME ON FIRE!!!!#but that's alr i guess!!!!!!!!!#because charcoal grilled prawn literally solves all my problems#before thinking about killing people i need everyone to sit down and think of their favourite food#and manifest the version of them that has it!!!!!!!!#maybe then all compulsions and intrusions of the mind can just go away#what if we all just pictured better versions of ourselves and just did it!!!#if we all stretched out our hands and tried we can at least live in the world knowing we did try!!#and it's better than not trying!!!!! AND BEING USELESS PIECES OF ROTTING GARBAGE!!!!!!#idk i've had a shit three years man i don't think i can take this any longer#IGNORE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#AND INSTEAD NOW LET'S THINK OF THE GOODIES YOU'RE GONNA GET IN TWO WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#or now if you offer up your wallet to OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR sleepacross#and for the SMALL price of 5USD that's right 5USD!!!! this is to the people with credit/debit cards ofc#YOU CAN ACCESS THE GOATACROSS QNA BECAUSE IT IS PEAK!!!!!!#but just because the juninators[on here in case they aren't in the server] need to hear this so we can all sing happy birthday to her#INSTEAD OF MISSING IT FOR TWO YEARS#AND HAVING A WHOLE WINTER/CHRISTMAS COMPETITION IN DISCORD WITH MEMES AND ALL WITHOUT THIS CRUCIAL INFORMATION!!!!!!!#I THINK BECAUSE I KEEP THESE IN TAGS IT'S SAFE TO SAY THAT HER BIRTHDAY IS DEC 24TH AND WE SHOULD ALL SAY HAPPY LATE/HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY#TO OUR BELOVED QUEEN JUNI CHANG#BECAUSE NOW I JUST SHAFTED A 40K WIP I NEVER FINISHED FOR LAST YEAR'S WINTER SEASON FOR THE CHRISTMAS EPISODE OF 2024 IN THE RECYCLE BIN!!#BUT NOW WE CAN GIVE HER QUINTICE THE AMOUNT OF GIFTS THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!!!! SO LET'S DO THAT INSTEAD!!!!#ONE FOR HER BIRTHDAY!!!! ONE FOR CHRISLER!!! ONE FOR CIVIL SERVICE APPRECIATION DAY!!!!!#ANOTHER FOR BEING PEAK MENTOR!!!!! AND ANOTHER ONE FOR BEING GOD'S SILLIEST SOLDIER!!!![in our hearts!!]#APOLOGIES AS ALWAYS IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR HERE!!!! AND A GOOD EVENING TO YOU ALL!!!!
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VINCENT PRICE guest stars -
THE MAN FROM UNCLE; The Foxes And Hounds Affair (1965)
#vincent price#the man from uncle#the man from u.n.c.l.e.#tmfu#victor marton#trojan horse#tv show#tv episode#60s tv#my favorite episode in which he guest stars#god hes gorgeous#I NEED HIM 😭😭#so sexy#so hot#i desire him carnally#bicon#a true bicon#his flamboyancy makes me happy#horror#old horror movies#vintage#movie#actor#handsome#gif#gifs made by me#gif set#gifs#my gifs
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Eyesome propaganda (Patreon)
#Doodles#Wander Over Yonder#Commander Peepers#Emperor Awesome#Eyesome#So hey I love them also#Have I mentioned lately that I'm a polyshipper lol#Then again Peepers is like impossible not to ship with multiple cast members so there's that lol#He just so happens to very neatly fit into my niche!#I'm sure he's very happy about it lol#Stick that man in situations stat#This is also slightly Awesome propaganda because I do genuinely think he At The Very Least has the potential to be very interesting#He's misused in episodes like Bad Neighbors but tbh who isn't :P Shame it's one of his and the Fist Fighters' few episodes unfair#My favourite appearance of his is probably The Cool Guy :D He gets to show off some of his more interesting facets!#Like the fact that he's decently good at reading people - owed to or reason for his popularity? You decide lol#And to that end manipulating people - he sees what someone wants and ''gives'' it to them for a price >:)#That's honestly why I think him pursuing a relationship/manipulation strike with Peepers would be so interesting#Peepers is ''real'' for lack of a better word lol - he's highly dedicated to his beliefs and motives and isn't one to fold easily#Awesome is the opposite - he's a cowardly hedonist who enjoys his shallow lifestyle as it affords him carnal comforts above all else#So their dynamic is an interesting one I think! :D I think they'd serve each other well haha ♪#Peepers gets to cut loose a bit and Awesome is forced to develop a genuine relationship to some degree#And then there's also the size difference again lol - look some things are allowed to be exactly their face value! Haha#Peepers is so flipping cute hhggg I love him <3 And Awesome is so fun to draw in that mix of cartoony and Slight-slightly more realistic#His proportions are still extremely cartoony but drawing him with proper pectorals and a ribcage and the like is so fun <3 <3#Peepers is still the most fun to pose tho I just feel so free to stretch and squish him around haha#Him sitting! Him laying down blustered! Pressing his feet against Awesome's chest to try to push away from him!! He's so fun!!#Plus finally drawing the more-than-half-closed eye style as sometimes featured ahhhhh <3 <3 This show man I swear#Not even mentioning going back to three-finger after so long on four haha ♪ It's been a while and it's just as fun!
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hey im interested in getting into ygo do u have any recs or recommended orders of reading/watching theres a lot from the looks of it on anilist so i was wondering about your preferences o:
ANON I ABSOLUTELY DOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I'm only about halfway through the sequels (i just started arc-v) so I'm not like the most knowledgable person in the world but I can give you my personal recs. COME CLOSER!!!!!
First of all, every yugioh series is totally independent from each other (sort of - gx is set directly after dm and leans on its worldbuilding quite a bit, and 5ds takes place in the same universe as well though a bit further in the future, but you can watch them on their own with no problem) so if there's one in particular that grabs you there's nothing stopping you from jumping straight to it - that being said I've been watching all of the anime in release order (ygo dm -> gx -> 5ds -> zexal -> arc-v (i am here) -> vrains -> sevens -> go rush) and I've been enjoying it a lot. I also wouldn't recommend watching arc-v in particular without having watched the ones before it as it probably won't really have any impact for you. Now for specific recommendations (in order) !!!! SORRY THIS GOT REALLY LONG.
yugioh manga - START HERE !!!!! the original story by kazuki takahashi. high school boy inherits an ancient magical artifact containing a spirit that's really, really good at playing games (and inflicting psychological torment on bullies). I have to give it a warning for some shonen-typical creepiness towards female characters in the early chapters, but it's REALLY worth reading and it's a story that's so near and dear to my heart. this is the fastest and easiest way to start loving yugioh. Its worth noting that the original ygo manga is the ONLY manga (afaik) that tells the same story as its anime + i haven't read any of the others aside from a little bit of the gx manga, so the rest of my recs are anime-only
(optional) yugioh season 0 / 1998 / toei - a one-season anime based on the early manga chapters. if you like the horror vibes of the manga you'll enjoy this a lot. really fun 90s animation with a killer soundtrack, but generally not considered """canon"""
yugioh duel monsters - this is the one most people watched as a kid. it's an adaptation of the manga, but with most of the early chapters cut out so as to get straight to the card games + some extra arcs added in. this is most people's favorites and the most popular! you can also watch this in lieu of the manga, but you will be missing a LOT of the early story or experiencing it in condensed form (and the plot of ygo dm is already patchy At Best).
yugioh gx - direct anime sequel to ygo dm. boy goes to gamer school to become the next king of games + high school shenanigans ensue. gx is a really charming, goofy romp with a super lighthearted s1, an interesting s2 and a shockingly engrossing s3. s4 (the last 25 episodes or so) never got dubbed in english so if you're a dub enjoyer like me you'll have to switch to subs to get the full story
yugioh 5ds - direct sequel to gx, though further in the future than gx was to dm. card games on motorcycles are real and so is class warfare and the surveillance state. iirc this is the only yugioh anime that was rated 4+ - it has a slightly more mature tone but there's still plenty of lighthearted fun to be had. Really strong s1 with a second season that falls off a little bit, at least to me, but is still absolutely worth watching. s2 is missing a number of episodes in the english dub, so again if you're a dub enjoyer you will find yourself quite confused by the end. its probably worth watching s2 entirely sub-only (something i still need to do)
yugioh zexal - the first of the sequels that is possibly set in a different universe entirely (or just the really distant future). middle school boy gets a magic necklace from his dad that has an alien inside. zexal is a lot of peoples favorites and now that I've watched it I GET IT. Really strong story + pacing from beginning to end and a really endearing cast of characters. It's silly and goofy and fun but DAMN DOES IT COHERE.
yugioh arc-v - the first of the sequels that is DEFINITELY set in a different universe entirely. this is the one I'm watching currently so i don't have much to say about it yet GET BACK TO ME ON THIS ONE. this one boy's dream is to become the greatest clown who ever lived (tragic) (inspiring)
INHALES LOUDLY. that was probably more info than you wanted BUT I HOPE THAT HELPED AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT? again I recommend reading the original ygo manga first and i think that will give you a good idea of whether you are down with the yugioh silliness or not. It's important to remember that this is a very silly anime series about card games but like. As long as you can buy into the worldbuilding and accept that this is just How Things Are in the world of ygo, it's suuuuuuuch a fun world to sink your teeth into.
#.txt#I like................................Yugioh.#and then after arc-v is vrains -> sevens -> go rush but like i said im not there yet#but i will probably be there. soon. i have been watching arc-v at an alarming rate#i thought about adding the movies to this post but i. decided to spare you (for now)#therw was also no room for a dub vs. sub discussion though that is a discussion i'm happy to have#i watch dubs mostly because it's much easier for me to focus on but also because. i simply. like them#also because yugioh is silly to me. and the dubs add to the silliness#but sometimes the dub doesnt give you all the information so you gotta Know.#i found out there is like a major plot point of zexal thats revealed in the last episode BUT ONLY IN THE SUB. NOT IN THE DUB#but thats how it is. that's the price we pay for silly voice#i don't think i would have gotten through 5ds without the dub. greg abbey is so good as yusei
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This week on Content Abnormal we are celebrating the SIXTH BIRTHDAY of our show by presenting the one we started it all with, The Shadow, in an award-winning adventured called "The Ghost Walks Again"!
#happy birthday#to#content abnormal#the shadow#william johnstone#the ghost walks again#otr#horror host#frankentyner#vincent price#julie newmar#egghead#catwoman#batman 1960s tv series#abe vigoda#lindsay wagner#the bionic woman#black magic#episode#thank you!
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IT'S CONNIE'S BIRTHDAY. MODS ARE ASLEEP. POST THE PRICE-BURDON HIERARCHY OF NEEDS.
#funny that i made 'self-fulfillment needs' is price to play august 12th 1968 (with guest star eric burdon) and yes INDEED i have seen it 🥹#ultimate self-fulfillment needs are the lost 'ready steady go!' episodes they collaborated on........ eric dressing up as a bear for him...#i also made this before a bunch of new price-burdon photos were found last year so i need to make an updated version sometime 🙏#wITH ERIC HOLDING ALAN'S FACE....#i do find it very cool that i now own the original publications that a few of these photos came from... 🥹#ALAN PRICE AND ERIC BURDON.... WOW#today is going to be a wild day b u t .... it's going to be interesting ...... going on an animal-adventure in other words 👀🐾#all the while listening to them during the car ride and sOBBING and working on my july 31st drawing for them#HAPPY BIRTHDAY CONNIE YOU SILLY GAY WITH A SPECIAL INTEREST IN A FUNNY FRACTURED BAND AND THEIR LEAD VOCALIST AND THEIR KEYBOARDIST#eric burdon#alan price#the animals#aleric
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just finished tsv 36.....
#this really was the eoisode for people who DO NOT FUCKING TRUST when things are going good for them huh#the 'whats the catch. there's always a catch' episode... and it always asks for its pound of flesh#ngl... any time the episode started to inch towards peace and happiness i was like... tom hardy thats bait dot gif... bc aint no way#aint no way right.#and the worst thing.. the worst thing.. is havin your paranoia confirmed.#that you were right to suspect. tha happinesse isn't lasting. its a lure.#and it every time you start to think you're *almost out* that you *can* make it out... it tightens the snare just a bit tighter.#around your white-knuckled fists clinging to the last shred of hope. that is how it hunts. this is its haunt.#that noose is everlasting. everything else is a dream.#that ending fuckkking... i knew it was coming bc ofc it was. there's no way. no way. there has to be a blood price.#and still. when it hit... o|-<...#there is a god in the attic. and alas. it will give you what you seek. the rapture in bliss. you will never be free of it.
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I found some of my baby photos and it's weird seeing so many of my female relatives with straighten hair. Like not the soft, temporary straightening, I'm talking about the one that destroys your coils.
They all have natural hair now, but I feel pretty sad seeing their old haircuts. Decoiling (I think that's how you call it in English ?) is very bad for your hair, and feeds upon alienating black people from their culture...
My relatives are now anti-decoiling, and I remember my mother saying that she didn't like straightening her hair but that for the longest time it was your only way to get a hairdresser in France... It's really unfortunate, but at least we've made some progress now. That's what I'm gonna try to focus on.
#I'm in a major depressive episode so everything makes me way too sad#so my reaction is a little more intense than it should#In any case I'm getting whiplash but hey ❢ Small price to pay to see a happy baby me I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#berry rambles
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Dude, the bonus episode of LiS: Before the Storm really hits hard in the feelings from minute one, huh?
#life is strange#life is strange before the storm#chloe price#max caulfield#I thought the first 3 episodes were sad but this is just heartbreaking#Chloe was so happy#I finally got around to play this one#I hope my shitty pc can run Captain Spirit and LiS 2 afterwards
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i am getting started on productivity for the night but haven't figured out yet if i want to write or art first and there's also the tiny part of my brain that just wants to stare at kabru until it is ok to stop staring at kabru
#i don't talk about fandom stuff much here since i don't really get involved with it#but i do fixate on characters and right now i am circling around him like a wolf#tempted to draw him too but i can never capture his big beautiful eyes properly#i've also been tempted to draw beefcake laios but UHHhh thats for another day and i dont know if i will share that LOL#i finished the manga but i haven't had the energy to watch more of the show so i'm just thinking about the characters on my own and going :#also contemplating if i should draw a pride pfp (unrelated)#basically there is so much to do and it is overwhelming to work through the list#and i keep wanting to add more to it#also need to promo my commissions again more and add those sketches still but trying to figure out how to price them and don't have the#energy to type up explanations for them yet blagh#and i'm trying to balance that “realistically- i need more income coming in” with also “but i can't overwhelm myself with tasks”#<- which is very unambiguously clear that i do that just fine even without working on things for other people#is it obvious that my therapist relocated and i haven't been given a new one yet.#i can therapize myself So Good (actually overthinking and spiraling)#<- but please do not worry this is actually not a bad spiral which is good it is just a “things to do” spiral but it is fortunately#missing the key component of doom and horror and the world ending because i did not accomplish everything right#which is what a bad spiral contains and i've actually been on a pretty good streak avoiding those lately in spite of circumstances!#but if i linger on it it will probably turn into a lie so i will stop doing that#speaking of shows i watched the new episode of kaiju no. 8 today and i am just aggghrrhekrjskfj#i love hoshina so much#and he's been getting a lot of focus in these episodes so im happy#i love the way they animate his fights like!! wow#i need to watch them all on sakugabooru later#but i can't tonight if i want to do things#but i will later because they deserve frame-by-frameing#also i'm going to go pick up two volumes of wind breaker tomorrow i think#unfortunately i ordered them before i learned my hours were getting cut but#i have enough to cover my bills this month and since i'm not buying lunches or dinner for myself anymore because i'm not leaving the house#i'd rather just get them now instead of worrying about someone else buying them if i take too long#and let that be my last personal purchase for awhile
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Episode 46 Hayate contender for prettiest boy to ever exist
#long dark wavy hair??? i'm weak#gan gan watching gingaman#4 episodes left but i cant watch them till tomorrow 😭#staying at my mums tonight and its my baby sisters bed time and she has fallen in love with gingapink#made me promise that we can watch the last episodes together tomorrow and who the fuck am i to say no#she's 4 and so needs me to tell her whats going on when they're talking#but that is a very small price to pay to share my love and interests with her#she's always so excited to see the girl heroes and the big robots and it fills my heart with happiness
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heres MY rambly black sails analysis for the day, after watching the show twice in as many months i wholeheartedly believe in the "long john silvers quote unquote missus in treasure island is max, not madi" theory
the most obvious thing, as others have pointed out, is that in treasure island long john silver runs an inn with his wife, a black woman, in bristol, which is absolutely not madi behavior-- i cannot imagine madi would take him back in the first place much less move with him TO ENGLAND-- but IS maxs exact area of expertise. but theres so many other things that cement it for me
as early as episode 2, max tries to convince eleanor to buy out the inn and run it together with her when england takes nassau back. this is her dream-- to share power over her life with a woman she loves, free of the pressures of the outside world. (youll note this also happens to be silvers dream for himself and madi. the parallels)
in season 4 shes faced with the suspiciously similar option to take a husband to be the face of her business, completely on paper, for the sake of the public eye. and she refuses! she doesnt want to give a man that kind of power over her. not only that but she desperately wants to retain some kind of truth in her identity-- she admires anne for her honesty, her courage. these are things she can rarely afford to express. in refusing a marriage of convenience, she asserts her autonomy.
But. black sails tells us over and over again that an oppressive society will always find ways to batter down these private boundaries. there is no island safe from colonial rule. mirandas peaceful house in the interior is burnt to the ground. the maroons are forced to accept a freedom that comes at the price of abandoning those still enslaved and taking part in their continued subjugation. the things it takes to make these spaces are terrible, and unsustainable, and when it comes to being gay in the 1700s there is a tightrope to walk between privilege and privacy, one that destroyed flint and the hamiltons, thats even narrower to max as a self-made woman of color.
given all that, i do not believe she can girlboss her way out of her circumstances no matter how many lessons she took from what happened to eleanor. nor do i think the show believes it. i think the political-marriage-offer plot point is another illustration of that theme-- maxs desire, and silvers desire, to build a warm, happy room in the middle of the imperial machine, without meaningfully striking out against the machine itself, is destined to be futile no matter how strong they are as individuals.
max and silver are mirror images of one another. each of them is essentially the narrator of one half of the story. it is absolutely agonizing how BOTH of them tried to convince their lovers to abandon their ambitions, to settle for a quiet life with them, and in doing so saw that relationship destroyed by their own fear of an uncertain future....
....And its even MORE agonizing to imagine them finally securing the trappings of a domestic life... but without the love. and they know the love was what mattered! theyre always going to know!!!
it bookends PERFECTLY with their alliance at the start of the series. theyre right where they started, trusting no one, pretending to be humble and harmless, planning to steal the EXACT SAME TREASURE, except now theyre 50 years old and jaded and bitter and both pining after their lost loves. silver probably pictures madi whenever he tells people about his wife. when he and max have time to themselves they talk solely about finances and nothing else. its honestly impressive how miserable this is for every single person involved. im losing my mind
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Had a dream last night about the Price to Play episode from August 12th, 1968 (with guest star Eric Burdon) which is funny because I have seen the entire episode with my own eyes now and it played out exactly like the episode did in real time, my friend and I were just standing on the actual television stage watching them instead so I was able to witness every individual moment Alan and Eric locked reciprocal gazes. 😔🙏
#this is a sign that i need to update my essay with a summary of the episode I PROMISE I WILL AFTER I FINISH HOMEWORK AAAAAAA#i AM SO EXCITED TO WRITE IT ALL OUT I TOOK THREE PAGES OF NOTES#when alan and eric did 'what'd i say' together..... ohhhHhHHHh My gOSH#i also gave alan and eric a hug afterwards and thanked them 😢😢😢 YES THANK YOU PRICE-BURDON. YOU'VE DONE SO MUCH FOR ME.#i will be thinking about them allllll day at work today................. and those looks alan was giving eric#he was legit soooo happy to be performing with eric you could tell.....#wHEN HE TALKED ABOUT ERIC YOU COULD HEAR A SMILE IN HIS VOICE IT WAS SO AGXYEHHSSB#okay i need a dr pepper#things i said today#alan price#eric burdon
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Oh no. Oh fuck. I am relistening to some of the earlier Protocol episodes, and I have a horrible, terrible, no good very bad suspicion about Gerry.
I could, I want to emphasize, be completely wrong! I could be wildly, hilariously, off the mark. But--hear me out. This is going to take some explaining about what I think is going on in the bigger picture worldbuilding stuff; hopefully it'll be coherent, but fair warning, it may get a bit long.
First: there have been a lot of cases that have boiled down to trying to keep only the "good"/desirable/etc aspects of things or events or people, and discard the "bad"/unwanted, right? We saw this happening very explicitly in episode 23 with Alesis Newman, and way back in episode 2 with Daria the painter, but a number of episodes have presented variations on a similar theme.
Two variations in particular that I've been thinking a lot about are the violinist in episode 4 and the gambler in episode 9. The violinist can play his violin beautifully, but he wants to be rid of the price in flesh and blood that it demands. Similarly, the gambler wants the rewards of rolling high on his magic dice, but wants to be rid of the misfortunes that come with rolling low. Crucially, both episodes make clear that in this type of balance--something unwanted for something wanted--you can't just make the unwanted piece vanish. It has to go somewhere, it has to happen. But you can make it happen to someone else, somewhere else. And when that's how the game works, one of the major questions for players who want to get ahead then becomes: "how do I make the bad stuff stay happening somewhere else, and keep reaping the benefits of the good stuff that balances it out?"
Here's where this gets wildly speculative and from here on I freely acknowledge that I may be talking out my ass:
I think the Magnus Institute was investigating that question. I suspect a great many alchemists before the Institute, probably going back to the times of Albertus Magnus, were investigating it as well. I think the Great Work they were attempting -- the "universal transmutation" alluded to in episode 21 as the Magnus Institute's aim -- was the exact opposite of Jonah Magnus's own "Great Work" in TMA. In other words, I think they were probably trying to make the world an eternal paradise, rather than an eternal hell.
But if you're getting rid of all the "bad" stuff, all the suffering and misfortune, it's got to go somewhere.
I think they were sending it through to other worlds.
I'm not going to get into all the reasons I think that right now, because that's a whole essay in itself, but basically--the Leitners in TMA? The artifacts? All the little bits and pieces of evil given physical form, that never had a clear origin point in the world where they caused so much suffering for so long? We've all been worried about them winding up here, post-Archives... but I think this is where they came from in the first place. I think they were sent away in the hopes that an increase in "bad" in other worlds would lead to an increase in "good" in this one. Remember all those books Albrecht von Closen found in the tomb in the Black Forest in TMA, that Jonah Magnus later stole and let loose on the world? Remember that Albrecht found a mysterious coin along with them dated 1279? Albertus Magnus died in 1280; I strongly suspect he sent those books from the world of Protocol to that of Archives shortly before his death, much as the world of Archives sent the tapes away centuries later. But I think Protocol's world kept sending things away, kept trying to export "bad" and import "good". Remember all those happy, laughing volunteers bringing strange and sinister items to the charity shop on Hill Top Road in episode 7? "All for a good cause."
Okay so. Now. With that bit of hypothetical framework for Protocol's worldbuilding in place, let's next go back to Alesis Newman of episode 23. Her expressed wish is to create a new her. "Someone better. Someone the pain can't touch." Someone who can be everything Alesis wishes she could have been. Someone "free of all (her) mistakes."
But increasingly it sounds like what she actually wants isn't to create someone new. It is to create someone who is only a part of her current self. Someone who, she says in one of her last few posts, will "just be the good parts of me."
And if that's the case, if what she's really trying to do is make someone who holds only the "good" parts of her, someone who can be happy and strong and perfect and loved by everyone forever... what happens to the bad parts of Alesis Newman, as she currently exists? What about the parts of her that feel pain and fear, the parts of her that make mistakes, the parts of her that she rejects?
One might assume, from the experience she narrates, that those pieces of her are simply being destroyed. But that doesn't line up with the suggestion we've seen from earlier episodes that there has to be some kind of balance maintained in these bargains. What she actually says is happening to her--and what the forum members have apparently told her will happen, through this process--is that she and this "new her" are "becoming one... and then two."
I don't think the "bad" parts of Alesis Newman are dying. I think they're also going to become a "new her"--they're just going to go somewhere else, somewhere the new, happy, strong, perfect version of Alesis Newman never has to see them.
Still with me?
Okay.
Now let's talk about Gerry. Let's talk about the smiling, laughing, irrepressibly happy Gerry Keay we meet early in Protocol. Gerry who seems to have everything that the Gerry Keay of Archives was denied.
Gerry who underwent tests at the Magnus Institute as a child, and who, per the static over his and "Gee Gee's" words, holds a few more secrets about what went on there than he let on to Sam and Celia.
Back when I first heard Gerry's appearance in episode 8, it sure felt like a narrative gut punch: This is who he could have been in Archives, if not for the presence of the Fears. This is what Jon and Martin's final decision threatens to destroy--for this safe, happy version of Gerry, and for everyone else in his world.
I'm now suspecting it might be significantly worse than that. I think the Magnus Institute might have done to Gerry Keay something similar to what Alesis Newman later did to herself: made him New. Kept only the good parts--ensured a happy, comfortable, good life for him. In which case, all the bad stuff--all the parts of Gerry Keay that would ever have to suffer from bad luck, to feel pain and fear and misery...
...well. They'd have had to go... somewhere else, wouldn't they.
Which would suggest I had the causality the wrong way around the first time I heard Gerry's appearance in Protocol: maybe it's not "Gerry has a happy life in this world because he didn't have to suffer everything that the Gerry Keay of Archives did."
Maybe it's "Gerry in Archives had to suffer everything he did because Gerry in Protocol was made to always be happy."
#in which seldon is extremely fucking normal about the magnus protocol#takes a *deep* breath and hits post#tmagp speculation#<-please let me emphasize the 'speculation' part it is entirely possible i don't know wtf i'm talking about#tmagp gerry#tmagp alesis newman#tmagp magnus institute#tmagp albertus magnus#tmagp#the magnus protocol#tmagp 23#tmagp 8#tmagp spoilers#the magnus protocol spoilers#pondering magpods
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god i feel rough (failing delusionship) so let's do a quick little reaction to giving the 141 little gifts
you and soap regularly sit around and watch your favorite movies. gives you guys something extra to talk about while out in the field. most of them military related like American sniper or some really stupid comedies like the Hangover. A long time favorite of both of yours is the Office, though. So when you're on leave and see one of those stupid Dunder Mifflin keychains, you don't even think twice about getting it for him. When you're back and give it to him, Johnny gets real quiet and puts it on his keys. Gives you a little kiss to your temple and turns on one of your favorite episodes. Keeps you in his arms for awhile after that, platonically of course, bonnie.
ghost and you don't really talk much. you're both together a lot though, existing in each other's orbit. he does paperwork, cleans his guns, stitches up a new mask, whatever. you work on a new hobby, watch YouTube, sleep, or yap into the void. nevertheless, you two are very close. imagine simon's surprise one day as you two sit, your back against his shoulder, as you finish up a friendship bracelet for him. intricate little heart design. you hold it out to him in offering with a little smile, a bit too cautious for his taste. holds his wrist out, lets you put it on him. doesn't say much, but notices you made yourself a matching one. takes it, puts it on your wrist, and brings it to where his mouth is under his mask. little peck. best gift he's ever gotten, birdie. goes back to his work, but it becomes his fidget toy. inspects your wrist when he sees you without yours, brows furrowed. follows you around like a little lost puppy until you confirm that yes, simon, everything's fine.
gaz is baby. he loves spending time with you around base. your room is next to his, making it is easy for you two to meet up and have a nice time. however, his time in the military has made him harder and more forgetful to civilian celebrations and traditions. so when you two are sitting on night watch and you pull out a little cake with happy birthday gaz written on it, he remembers fond memories of a time before. loves you for bringing good memories to his forefront. shares with you, feeding you with his fork. pinkies linked as you watch the sunrise.
gruff old man price won't accept much. he's got a lot on his plate, doesn't need much else going on around him. however, when his favorite little sergeant stops by with a little treat and a cigar for him, he's gooey. all pleasant smiles, wonderful manners, asking about your day. hides his emotions when you mention a pesky little flea on another squad has been bothering you. don't worry, darling, you don't know it but he'll take care of it (if one of his boys doesn't first).
they'd be jealous of eachothers attention on you if they didn't feel the exact same way. pretty little thing, only for them.
#taskforce 141 x reader#task force 141#call of duty x reader#ghost x reader#john soap mactavish x reader#johnny mactavish x reader#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley#john price x reader#simon riley x you#cod headcanons#kyle gaz garrick x you#kyle gaz garrick x reader#kyle garrick x fem!reader#kyle garrick#taskforce 141 headcanons#john price#john price x you#ghost cod
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