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whimsicallyenchantedrose · 20 days ago

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At the Dawn There is Rejoicing--a birthday gift for @kmomof4 (Chapter 7)

Summary: Birthday gift for Krystal, @kmomof4. Based on the story of Leslie Moore and Owen Ford in the book Anne’s House of Dreams–the 5th book in the Anne of Green Gables series. Emma Gold has led a difficult life. Her brother and her father died when she was a child, and she was then coerced into marrying the odious Neal Gold. She thought she’d been granted a reprieve when he was believed to be lost at sea–only for him to return disabled and in need of a caregiver. Killian is a newspaper reporter who is tired of his routine life. When he falls ill, his editor forces him to take a sabbatical. What will happen when Emma takes Killian in as a border for the summer? Big thank you to @snowbellewells for making the cover pic set!

Word Count: 2194

Other Chapters: (Prologue) (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (Epilogue)

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Chapter 7

Killian opened the box he’d found waiting for him at his front door when he arrived home from the office one night in the late fall. Inside, he found a dozen copies of “The Lifebook of Captain Nemo”, fresh off the presses.

Professionally, things had been looking up for Killian–more than they had for years. His manuscript had not only been accepted for publication, his editor had raved about it. Already, scarcely a week after its release, his first novel was a roaring success.

A year ago, if this had happened, he’d have been overjoyed. Finally, his life’s ambition had been fulfilled. He was an author, a real author, not merely the writer of pointless newspaper stories, but the author of a best-selling novel.

But a year ago he hadn’t met Emma Gold. A year ago his heart hadn’t shattered into a million tiny shards.

Now his professional success simply felt empty. What good were accolades when you’d lost the love of your life?

It had been two months now since Killian had returned to Montreal. He’d hoped that time would dull the pain of loss, but it appeared the saying was true. Absence did indeed make the heart grow fonder.

He missed her so much, missed what they’d had together during the summer he’d boarded with her. Of course he’d wished they could have had more–wished she was free, wished he could declare his love to her, wished she could declare hers in reply, but what good were wishes?

Killian collapsed into the chair behind the desk in his home office, putting his head in his hands for a moment before straightening. His eyes caught on a letter on the edge of his desk. It was addressed to him from Granny Lucas.

The letter had arrived two weeks ago, but he’d yet to open it. He’d been receiving regular letters from Four Winds Harbor over the past months since his return–most coming from Mary Margaret, telling him the news of the harbor and making a point of telling him about Emma.

At first, he’d craved these letters, read them as soon as they arrived, and then reread them until he’d nearly memorized the news of his love.

But even just hearing about her brought him pain. Rather than balm, it was salt in his already painful wounds.

And so, when Granny’s letter had arrived two weeks ago, it had all simply been too much. He couldn’t open it; he simply couldn’t. Any more news of Emma would be torture. He’d considered simply trashing the letter, but something inside of him couldn’t do that.

He reached for the letter, picking it up, turning it over in his hands. It was gathering dust. He needed to either read it or throw it away.

Suddenly overcome with a need to hear about her, even if it hurt, he ripped open the envelope and pulled out the single folded sheet.

He read quickly, and then jumped from his seat, rushing to his bedroom to pack a bag, his heart racing, relief and joy overwhelming him.

It was time to head back to Four Winds Harbor.

It was time to head back to Emma.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Emma's house no longer felt like home. Maybe it never had, but now…without another soul in it but her, the loneliness threatened to swallow her whole. She was surprised to find she actually missed Neal…or, well, Gideon. He’d been a staple in her life, as difficult as it had all been and as much as she’d despised the man she’d thought he was. The house now felt too big. Too empty.

Or rather, it felt too full of ghosts and painful memories, and there was no longer anyone there to distract her from them.

And so it was, when Johanna left for an undetermined amount of time to care for her sister who had broken her leg, Emma had jumped at the opportunity and offered to stay with the Nolans in the interim to help with the baby and the housework.

Mary Margaret had been delighted at the suggestion, and so it was that two weeks after returning to Four Winds, Emma found herself seated on the floor of the Nolans’ sitting room smiling and cooing over baby Leo. He looked up in her general direction with wide, solemn eyes as his tiny arms and legs flailed around. She knew he was far too young yet to smile at her, but the way he tracked her voice when she spoke to him made her think he’d like to smile, had he the ability.

“Oh, Mary Margaret,” Emma said, “he is just the sweetest thing! Look at these tiny fingers with their tiny perfect nails! That soft, downy baby hair!”

The new mother beamed. “I know! Sometimes I can barely stop myself from just watching him sleep. He is our little miracle.”

Impulsively, Emma leaned over and gave her friend a quick hug. She was a little surprised to find that, while the ache of longing for a child of her own was still there, that poisonous, corrosive envy was gone. She was genuinely happy for her friend and her newfound joy.

“So how are you?” Mary Margaret asked after a moment. “We haven’t really gotten a chance to properly talk since you got back.”

Emma shrugged. “Still a bit in shock, I suppose,” she said. “To think my entire life for the past twelve years has been a lie, is…a lot to take in, not to mention the fact that I feel rather at loose ends now that Neal…well, Gideon…is gone.”

“Granny told us you meant to go to the city to train to be a nurse,” Mary Margaret said slowly. “Is that true?”

Emma shrugged again. “It’s a definite possibility,” she answered. “Truth be told, I don’t know quite what I plan to do. I…I know I can’t stay in that gray house anymore, though. It holds far too many memories.”

Mary Margaret put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “I can understand that, but please, take some time. Don’t make any big plans in haste.”

“I can promise you that,” Emma answered before smiling. “After all, I committed to helping you in Johanna’s place until her return.”

“And I’ll hold you to that!” Mary Margaret said in mock severity, “and given the state her sister is in, that will no doubt be quite some time!”

There was a knock at the door, and Mary Margaret excused herself to answer it, and Emma went back to adoring the baby, paying little attention to the sounds of Mary Margaret speaking to her guest.

But then she felt it, a sudden awareness, a sudden knowledge, as footsteps returned to the sitting room. She looked up as he walked in, and suddenly her heart stopped before pounding, her eyes going wide, her breath coming quickly.

He was here. He was here!

“Killian?” she said in little more than a whisper.

“Aye,” he said with a gentle smile. “I stopped at your house first, but when I didn’t find you, I took the chance that you might be here.”

“That was smart,” Emma said rather stupidly, getting slowly to her feet as Mary Margaret came in and swooped baby Leo from her.

“I was hoping to we might have a moment to talk,” he said.

“O–okay,” Emma said, barely even knowing what she spoke. He was here! She’d thought to never see him again, but he was here, in the flesh, standing before her and looking at her like she was the most precious person in the world to him!

“It’s a rather pleasant afternoon, even if it is late autumn,” Mary Margaret piped up from behind them. “Perhaps you’d like to walk in the garden?”

Killian shot her a grateful smile. “That sounds lovely. Shall we, Emma?” he asked, extending an arm to her. She took it with a smile, let him lead her out the back gate.

“I heard what happened,” Killian said when they were finally alone. “How are you, Emma? How are you really?”

“I scarcely know,” she answered. “Would you think me a dreadful person to learn that I feel relieved that Neal is dead?”

Killian shook his head vehemently. “I knew you had been unhappy in your marriage, but I didn’t know the full story until the letter Granny sent me a few weeks ago. Had I known what manner of man Neal had been, what he’d done to you, how he’d forced you to wed him…well, I’d have been tempted to strangle him myself.”

“I’m so glad you didn’t,” Emma said, “given the fact that it was Gideon I was living with rather than Neal. Gideon is as kind and thoughtful as Neal was….the opposite. I’m glad he found his happy ending with Violet.”

Killian merely grunted in response.

“So what brings you here?” Emma asked. “I heard your book is out. Did you come to bring Captain Nemo a copy?”

“No,” Killian said, stopping their walk and turning to face her. “Or rather, yes, but that was secondary to my main purpose in returning to the island.”

“And what was that?” Emma asked, looking up at him, her breath catching at the way he was looking down at her.

“Emma, I’ve finally found my happy ending,” he said softly but with unmistakable intensity, “and I’ll be hanged before I let it slip through my fingers without fighting for it.”

Her heart fluttered again, believing she knew his meaning, but needing to hear it just the same. “You found your happy ending? What is it?”

“Don’t you know, Emma?” he nearly whispered, bringing one hand up to cup her cheek, “it’s you.”

For a long moment she simply looked up into his eyes, eyes that radiated a depth of love she’d never thought to experience. This felt like a dream, a lovely, perfect dream from which she hoped to never wake.

A single, solitary tear tracked down her cheek as she raised on tiptoes and kissed him, tentatively at first, but then when he responded enthusiastically, with all the pent up love and longing in her heart. Her arms came around his neck, and his circled her waist as they clung to each other, their lips moving and parting and drinking each other in, like parched travelers who’d finally found water in a desert.

When they finally pulled apart, Emma rested her forehead against his and whispered “I love you.”

He caressed her cheek, then let his fingers run through her hair as he responded in kind. “And I you. Writer though I am, I could never find enough words to express just how much.”

She kissed him again, couldn’t stop herself, and she felt his smile against her lips before he pulled away once again, reaching into his pocket for a small black box and then dropping to one knee. She gasped. Could he be about to….?

“Emma,” he said, “I can’t promise our lives will be free from pain or difficulties I can’t promise hard times won't come to us, but I can promise you this: I will always, always be by your side. I love you, and I don’t want to spend one more day away from you. Emma, will you marry me?”

She got to her knees in front of him and took his face in her palms, her eyes shining through the tears she couldn’t stop now. “Yes,” she said, “of course yes!”

Inside the house, David found his wife looking out the back window with her eyes alight and filled with tears. He turned to look at the object of her emotions, and drew in a quick, surprised gasp.

“Emma and Killian?” he asked, watching them kneel together and then lean forward and kiss. “I never would have guessed! Who could have seen that coming?”

“Just like a man!” Mary Margaret said teasingingly, in a perfect imitation of Granny, “of course I knew! It was plain as the nose on your face that the two of them were head over heels for each other.”

David snaked an arm around her waist and drew her to him. “Huh!” he said simply. “Well good for them. I hope they’re happy together.”

“Oh they will be,” Mary Margaret said, the happy tears evident in her voice. “I’ve no doubt about that. They’ll be as blissfully happy as we are.”

“Impossible,” David said, leaning over to kiss her on the cheek. “I kind of feel like I need to give him the big-brother ‘If you hurt her, I’ll make your life miserable’ speech, though.”

“Don’t you dare, David Nolan,” Mary Margaret said with a grin. “You know full well he’d never hurt her. She’s had enough stress in her life. Now that they’ve finally found each other, they deserve nothing but an absolute happily ever after.”

Notes:

–Well, there you have it! Everyone gets their happy ending (well, except Neal, who died in agony, but then is there anyone who is sad about that?)!

–Up next: a nice fluffy epilogue in which everything gets tied up with a bow (and a small but joyful wedding).

NEXT CHAPTER->

#cs fanfiction #my fanfiction #krystal's birthday gift #anne's house of dreams #at the dawn there is rejoicing

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serraszn · 24 days ago

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　　 ❥⋆.˚ 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚍𝚞𝚌𝚒𝚗𝚐 … 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝔀𝓮𝓮𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓽 .ᐟ

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　pinterest. / navigation.

𝓫𝓪𝓼𝓲𝓬𝓼.

ABOUT serra şen, cis woman, she/her AGE + DOB + ZODIAC twenty-six + july 12 + cancer ORIENTATION bisexual, biromantic PLACE OF BIRTH albany, georgia, usa CURRENT RESIDENCE new york city, new york ( 3 years ) LIVING SITUATION avalon in 35b, alone, with lots of visitors & animals EDUCATION hs dropout; claims to have studied art history in uni OCCUPATION social media personality ( 4 years ) CAREER CLAIM emma chamberlain NET WORTH $425 million, inherited wealth via marriage

𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓷𝓬𝓮.

HEIGHT + BUILD 5'9 + slender, but athletic EYE + HAIR COLOR deep brown ( hair dyed red during time in los angeles ) NOTABLE FEATURES expressive eyes, warm smile, relatively tall STYLE feminine, light, sophisticated with a touch of whimsy ( pinterest ) BODY MODS canon to hande ( ears + belly button , butterfly tattoo )

𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓸𝓷𝓪𝓵𝓲𝓽𝔂.

DESCRIPTION serra’s known for her endearing vlogs, capturing her seemingly perfect life and her imperfectly whimsical personality. she’s both warm and kind, often going out of her way to make others feel special. however, her insatiable need for validation drives her to seek constant approval, leading to grand gestures and an intense focus on impressing others. she’s fiercely loyal and nurturing to those close to her, but her sensitivity to criticism and inner struggles with inadequacy can lead to occasional outbursts. despite the confidence she projects, her sensitivity and need for affirmation often create inner turmoil within. POSITIVE thoughtful, whimsical, hospitable, resilient, generous NEGATIVE sensitive, dramatic, secretive, clingy, clumsy LIKES throwing/attending parties, domestic + exotic pets, antique auctions, painting, art + lit history, fresh flowers, zooey deschanel, surprises, body worship, the look on someone's face after you do something nice for them DISLIKES too many questions, being left on read, any type of criticism, the smell of burnt toast, sushi (she just doesn't get the hype), quentin tarantino films, the 'big' holidays, pam from progressive, being photographed w/o permission

𝓫𝓲𝓸𝓰𝓻𝓪𝓹𝓱𝔂. ( tw: car accident, age gap, abuse mention )

HISTORY serra can hardly remember a life before the car accident that claims her parents. most of her memories begin when she enters the foster system, bouncing from one home to another and feeling like an outsider. school provides little refuge from a series of unstable and neglectful placements. never particularly successful in academics, popularity, or anything really... serra never quite fits in, sparking a deep sense of inadequacy and longing to be noticed. things begin to change when she hits puberty and people start calling her pretty. it’s a compliment that provides the validation she craves, driving a fifteen year old serra to embark on a dangerous hitchhike from georgia to los angeles with the hope of becoming famous and finally finding her place in the world. her career amounts to little more than catalog ads and bit parts. struggling to make ends meet, she marries a renowned director, overlooking the forty-year age gap for the promise of security. marriage doesn’t turn out the way she hoped when her husband reveals himself to be cruel, using his wealth to belittle and control her. perceived as nothing more than gold-digging clout-chaser, serra finds herself trapped in a loveless marriage, with few willing to befriend her, leaving her lonelier than ever. after three years of marriage, her husband is found dead in the pool. though officially declared an accidental drowning and serra is cleared of any wrongdoing, rumors spread. hurt by the judgment, serra capitalizes on the public's morbid curiosity and starts a youtube channel to reclaim her image. in 2021, she moves to new york city with two goals in mind: a fresh start and a true chance at forming genuine connections. TLDR growing up in foster care and never being particularly good at anything, serra relies on her looks and tries to make it as an actress/model. unsuccessful, she finds herself married to a wealthy, older man and isolated more than before. after his suspicious death, she moves to nyc for a fresh start. she has an enviable life and millions of followers, yet serra still grapples with the lifelong struggle of feeling like an outsider.

𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓸𝓷𝓼.

she doesn't really like to talk about her past much and tends to lie about it.

she's lowkey kinda clumsy and delightfully awkward and while she gets painfully embarrassed, she's got a great sense of humor about it

serra has turned her home into a small zoo. her collection is growing but currently includes: three dogs, two cats, four rabbits, three guinea pigs, two turtles, two large fish tanks (home to axolotls), one iguana, three geckos, a chameleon, a python, a tarantula, six birds, and a capuchin monkey named oliver.

serra loves grand romantic gestures and has been known to love bomb

self-taught herself piano as a "parlor trick" to entertain guests during parties. though, she prefers the keyboard because it allows her to be more creative.

𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓷𝓮𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼.

tba

#pinned #etv.intro

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stevetonyweekly · 1 year ago

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SteveTony Weekly - October 8th

Hey all! I’m back from my vacation and omg it was so relaxing and lovely and I read SO SO MUCH! I finished a book series I started in August (GAY. WEREWOLVES!) and then read about a million words of fic. If you read anything--give them a comment/kudo!

~*~

No Greater Punishment by KandiSheek

Tony asks Steve out on a date, and Steve – thinking it's just one of Tony's flings – refuses. Then Tony gets a boyfriend. The relationship lasts a week, a month, two months, and Steve slowly realizes... that could've been him.

When Emma Falls in Love by iam93percentstardust

She waits and takes her time

'Cause Little Miss Sunshine always thinks it's gonna rain

When Emma falls in love, I know

That boy will never be the same

“Nice?” Kamala exclaims. “It’s way past nice! It’s the cutest thing ever because his bracelet had his phone number on it! He was hoping to ask you out!”

Tony blinks. Steve Rogers, All-American good boy and quarterback extraordinaire, wants to throw his hat in the ring? He wouldn’t be the first person to toss his name out there, but most of them have just tried to DM him or tag him in their posts. No one’s shown the kind of thought and effort that Steve apparently put into his declaration. It’s a level of understanding and appreciation of who Tony is and everything he’s cultivated in his career that no one else has put in.

It is, to use Kamala’s word, cute.

Restless Gravity by AvengersNewB

Omega Tony Stark gets bonded to a human-hating space warlord, to get his people a new home after the destruction of their planet.

Warlord - Arranged marriage AU, with a bit of a twist.

we'll live in spaces between walls by soliloquent

"Steve looks furious and defeated, and he's breathing like he just ran a marathon. He glances at the door over Tony's shoulder, slightly shivering, looking for an escape like he's on a battlefield. Perhaps he is.

This is not about the laundry anymore."

—⎊—

or: In the heat of a tense discussion in a cramped utility room at the Avengers Tower, Steve's deep-seated insecurities come to the surface. Tony witnesses a new and vulnerable side of him and realizes he has more in common with Steve than he thought. 🧺

Do Not Reply by FestiveFerret

When Tony starts replying to a "daily deals" donotreply email address from some random security supply company, he finds shouting into the void soothingly cathartic.

Less so when the void answers back.

ad astra by Areiton

The first time he kissed Tony Stark, the stars danced overhead.

Cardigan by Gayspacesprinkles, iam93percentstardust

When Tony is fourteen, his father announces that he’s going to marry Tiberius Stone, and he stops believing in Prince Charming.

August by Gayspacesprinkles, iam93percentstardust

August goes by slowly and altogether too quickly at the same time. He spends his days at practice in the morning while keeping his afternoons open in case Tony calls. The days smell like salt, despite being far away from the ocean, and the air is sticky in the Texas humidity. Sometimes, it gets too hot to do anything with Tony in the heat of the day, and it feels like a waste of the limited time they have together even though they spend all their nights together as well.

Sharing The Drink They Call Loneliness by KandiSheek

Tony has always thought that the pianist in his local bar, Steve, is way too good for this place. Tony wants to know more about him. And as it turns out, Steve wants the exact same thing.

Tony knows that he's playing with fire. But he's sworn off his old ways long ago. There's no way he will let himself fall for Steve. Right?

honey from your hive by meidui

"Whoa, hey, you okay?" Tony asks, hands flying out to steady him, so warm, the skin contact making him shiver. Steve tries to focus on Tony's face. "Cap?"

"You smell so good," Steve tells him honestly, sinking into Tony's arms because he can't hold himself up anymore. This should be okay because Tony is letting him do it: he presses his face into Tony's neck and sniffs, his tongue darting out just in time to feel Tony's pulse jump against it, and he licks—

"Steve, stop that," Tony says, sounding strangled as his grip tightens and Steve stops, letting Tony grab his face and tilt him up. "You're kind of scaring the crap out of me. What is it? What's going on with you?"

"We blew up the lab," Steve manages, and something dawns on Tony's face. "Everyone had a reaction 'cept me. Think 'm having it now."

Unbroken by justanotherrollingstony (adoctoraday)

Destiny looks a lot like Captain America when it walks through his door, and even at ten, Tony knows that Steve is something wonderful. He's a protector, a friend, someone to turn to when his father is angry and his mother is lost in a haze of pills, someone who loves Tony unconditionally and would do anything for him.

When he's 15 that faith is put to the test by a car crash, and then, something worse.

What begins as a friendship blossoms into something deeper, something nuanced--a bond, unshakeable.

Unbreakable

the body i hold and whisper my darling by deathsweetqueen

Tony Stark is nineteen when he takes a seat at a bar, orders a shot of tequila, and twists his head to look at the man sitting beside him.

He’s older, in his thirties, early to mid-thirties, if he’s guessing correctly, maybe even just slightly less than twice his age, with dark blonde hair and a beard covering half of his face, and his eyes fixed on his beer.

“You look like shit,” he ends up saying, bluntly.

The man looks up, and he has these blue eyes, blue eyes like a summer storm, and Tony finds himself stunned, a little turned on, by how beautiful this man is.

He has the perfect ratio, Tony realises, the eyes and the hair and the jawline and the cheekbones.

His eyes drag lower, and the man is built, like seriously built, with wide, muscled biceps, and a tapered-in waist, and those long, strong legs.

“I feel like shit,” the man says, after a while.

Teenage Dream by shinkonokokoro

This was written for this prompt:

A battle with Loki leaves Tony de-aged physically and mentally to the time he was in college.

young!Tony takes it all in stride. He is duly impressed by his armor, confused and excited by all the superhumans (Thor and Hulk) around and then is smacked by the realization that the boring blond hovering around is actually his MAJOR childhood hero / crush / source of adolescent fantasies Captain America! Cue teen!Tony trying his best (and maybe succeeding?) to get into an increasingly flustered and blushy Captain America.

Bonus if teen!Tony is still way way more experienced than virgin!Steve and is *delighted* to get to top (and deflower) Captain America.

(Um, extra bonus for including a little bit of Rhodey and Pepper interacting with Tony. Also super bonus for Steve unearthing Tony's daddy issues by the dozen.)

touch me gently, like a summer evening breeze by quidhitch

What is this, Tony’s brain screams. There are alarm bells going off in his head, but also, like, romantic violins. It’s very confusing. He focuses on the freckle beneath Steve’s eye instead.

Two in Fourteen Million by slimandalittlebitfoxy

“You wanna hear something stupid?” He took Steve’s silence as a confirmation, but didn’t think he could stop if he tried. “I carried around that phone the whole damn time. Since the day you sent it to me, I carried it. Just in case the world needed you.”

“I didn’t give it to you to let me know if the world needed me.” Steve looked up. Tony was frightened to see how much older he looked—maybe not in body, but in spirit. His jaw was set. He was angry too, though Tony would have bet money it was directed more at himself than anyone. “I gave it to you so you could call me if you needed me.”

“That’s the thing, Cap,” Tony said. “I always needed you.”

(The one where everyone lives.)

The Dotted Line by purpleicedteas

Film trailblazer Steve Rogers was in need of a relationship to cover up his embarrassingly non-existent love life.

Tony Stark needed a relationship to slow down the playboy rumors.

Enter a PR relationship contract.

the long and short of it (stevetony games 2022 fills) by starvels (dinosaur)

The challenge of whipping a nice pattern into Steve’s back, is that his healing rate really only gives about a 15 minute window in which to finish all of the strokes before the earliest lines begin to disappear.

The thought accosts Tony in the middle of team poker, the night before him and Steve are set to have a heavy session.

- latest fill: 616+established relationship+whipping kink negotiation

The Long Road Home by ladyshadowdrake

Maria Stark told her son that the Mark on his wrist meant there was a special someone out there just for him. Sarah Rogers told her son that his soulmate was waiting for him, and he needed to be strong for them.

Neither of them ever mentioned what to do if that soulmate just doesn’t want them.

this is how you fall in love by complicationstoo

Steve wants to have sex at least once before he graduates from college. He’s twenty one, never really dated anyone, and doesn’t see the point in waiting any longer.

He plans for just a simple one night stand with no strings attached, but his plan doesn't account for falling in love with Tony Stark.

It's Only Half Past (The Point of Oblivion) by LadyHabren (equalopportunityobsessor)

"I think it's generally agreed that all of Steve's senses are powered up by the serum? He can hear people whispering on the other side of the room, probably sees a hell of a lot further, etc.

But there are definite downsides. How does Steve control this side effect of the serum?"

Captain America is more than a man - he is a hero, he is an ideal, he is pure muscle held together by patriotism and moral fibre... And not even Captain America can fight it when his own brain turns against him.

I'm gonna be honest, by the time I got to the end of this story and went back to look at the prompt, I realized my fill was so different that I intitially thought I was looking at the wrong prompt... But I hope it's enjoyable nonetheless.

seven years in heaven by meidui

Tony gave Steve everything in the divorce. Their beautiful Brooklyn brownstone and everything in it, Tony's beloved Audi, their private garden upstate. Tony even offered him the lakehouse, but Steve had looked up at him with red eyes and begged softly for him to stop.

Tony gave Steve everything, every last piece of himself. He didn't take much with him when he flew out to his mansion in Malibu, but he took every last piece of Steve, too.

love me naked by meidui

What kind of man wears makeup? Steve thinks to himself.

Love Calls You By Your Name by laireshi for MassiveSpaceWren

Steve's boyfriend, Tony Stark, doesn't come home after Iron Man gets hurt when protecting Steve.

Look at my eyes, Don't even know who I am. by Perlmutt

Deciding to take a break from the bustling city life, Tony found himself on a deserted island somewhere near the South American coast. Only JARVIS and DUM-E accompanied him here. This was the perfect place for him to clear his head and focus on his studies. The sun was warm, the sea beautiful and the animals peaceful. But in the jungle around him waited an adventure for him that he couldn't have dreamt of.

Because he was not alone. Blue eyes watched him.

A man as wild and untamed as the jungle around them...

Wait & Sea by Lenalena

In which Tony and Steve get sent on an undercover mission aboard a cruise ship to make contact with Hydra. In this AU the military has kept the discovery and defrosting of Captain America a secret, so Steve and Tony have never met before. Yet they are to pose as newlyweds....

Devil with an Easy Grin by ladyshadowdrake

Steve meets a charismatic stranger at a club for a one night stand, and expects to never see him again.

#stevetony weekly #steve rogers #tony stark #stevetony #stony #iron man #captain america #stevetony fic #stony fic #fic rec

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sirenjose · 10 months ago

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Analysis of White Sand Street Asylum - Part 2

Includes Full Character Analyses for: Freddy, Kreacher, Emma, Emily, Leo, Robbie and Dolores, Kurt, Ada and Emil, and Alice.

Previous: Asylum Analysis Part 1

Freddy, in the meantime, has married Martha and only refers to Leo as an “idiot” after learning of the factory fire that likely claimed his life.

However long it’s been, we know Martha is in the “early stages of pregnancy” at the time the fire occurs. She is diagnosed with “mild anxiety” according to Dr. Mesmer (Ada’s father most likely), who recommends “rest supplemented by the prescribed medicine”.

During that same trip, he asks to talk to Freddy later about his “investment in ‘that hospital’ we mentioned previously”. Ada we know worked at White Sand Street Asylum for a time, but we never heard about if her father worked there too. Most we get regarding where he works is Ada says in Emil’s 1st letter that her Charles Mesmer, who is likely her father as well as “Dr. Mesmer” from Freddy’s letter (as well as Keigan’s deductions), has a clinic.

Martha had no need to go to an asylum. It was more of a regular check-up, especially with her being pregnant, so a clinic makes more sense, especially due to the stigma attached to asylums and mental illness back then.

And speaking of asylums, asylums aren’t the same thing as “hospitals”. Yes the church had a clinic, but the orphanage was renovated into an asylum due to the church using the excuse of many of the kids having mental illnesses.

As a result, I think Sacred Heart Hospital is more likely to be the “hospital” Dr. Mesmer aka Charles Mesmer is referring to. But if so, why is it important to note Dr. Mesmer wants investment for it, and in Freddy’s letter of all places? Sacred Heart Hospital isn’t really referenced in many other places besides its backstory (and Hide and Seek due to the dentist, but that’s someone else). But there is 1 time it is mentioned, and to someone connected to Freddy at that: Leo’s 3rd letter.

Yes I want to suggest Charles Mesmer was the one who took Leo to experiment on him.

The author of Leo’s 3rd letter is never specified or really hinted at. We do know that some “mystery man” found out Leo was alive and where, and has been writing to the author of Leo’s 3rd letter “frequently these days”. We know Leo eventually ends up working at the manor for Orpheus as a punisher/hunter. I think it makes more sense that Orpheus aka Baron DeRoss was the one who found out Leo was alive (the same way Orpheus has found out a lot of the sensitive information on other characters). At which point, he potentially asked for Leo or blackmailed the author of Leo’s 3rd letter in order to force the author to hand Leo to him (the same way he blackmails Emily to come to the manor). Considering the person mentions their previous subjects had an “85% chance of dying” during his experiment, that’s likely the sort of thing Orpheus could use to blackmail them over.

Speaking of dying, the only other time “Dr. Mesmer” (likely Charles Mesmer) appears is in Keigan’s deductions. In her deductions, it mentions an “incident” that he was declared “not guilty” for, after which it mentions Keigan getting a “diagnosis” from Dr. Mesmer as well as a prescription.

This medicine is likely what Keigan used to “spike her brother’s meals and control his diet”, which led to “his health slowly begin to deteriorate” so she could take his place. As the “incident” Dr. Mesmer was found “not guilty” for, combined with how in other versions the “incident” is described as “another medical accident”, the “medicine” Dr. Mesmer gave Keigan is potentially the same stuff that caused the “medical accident”.

Based on the 85% chance of death for subjects of the author of Leo’s 3rd letter’s experiments, these deaths could be the “incident” mentioned with Dr. Mesmer, and their chance of death might be caused by the medicine he gives them. Especially since other versions reference that this is “another” medical accident, which implies there’s been more than 1 of these “incidents” with Dr. Mesmer.

We also already know Ada’s father wasn’t exactly a kind man, considering when Ada asked him to help Emil in her 3rd deduction, he refused, and apparently he’s done so more than once. There’s also how Ada wasn’t asked what she wanted to do or given a choice in the matter based on her 1st deduction, and her father was likely part of the reason for this/part of the problem. So it’s not too hard to imagine he could be experimenting on Leo (as well as be the person behind the 85% death rate for experimental subjects).

So if Charles Mesmer was the one experimenting on Leo (and others), this could be why he asked Freddy, a financial advisor, to help with investment for Sacred Heart Hospital, which is where his experiments were carried out.

I wonder then, if this is true, if at least some of the bodies we see all over the hospital, both in the beta and current, could’ve been his previous (failed) experimental subjects? Something unique (static appears on the monitor as well as over the area) does happen when Ada vs any other character is in the hospital, which could hint towards there being some connection.)

Going back to Freddy and Martha following the fire at the Arms Factory, unlike Freddy, when Martha learns what happened, she becomes upset. So much so, she decides to leave him (via a “secret departure” again before he could stop him, just like Martha did with Leo). The reason she gives is because Freddy hadn’t been “completely honest” with her the 1 time she asked him to be honest regarding Leo’s investment into the Arms Factory. Freddy had said it’d be fine “if the investor had sufficient experience and capital”. Martha learned the factory had “an over 4-figure debt. This shows that Freddy had concealed the truth, and while it hadn’t been a complete lie, the fact is he hadn’t been completely honest like she’d asked him to. This reveals to Martha the kind of person Freddy truly was and she decides to leave, and thus why “I wouldn't stay and listen to what you have to say”.

She then explains her intent to take Lisa out of the orphanage, as well as change “Annecy’s” name (Martha and Freddy’s unborn child) and ensure Annecy and Lisa can grow up to “become an honest person”, before warning Freddy that he’ll have to “pay for what we’ve done”.

Last bit regarding Freddy, but his backstory references he is “Trapped by the failed lawsuits of his past”. There is no further info about this, so I’m uncertain if this is before (and why) he became a financial advisor, or if this is after (or as a result of) the Arms Factory fire and Martha leaving him.

Martha seems to show at least some knowledge of financial matters, as she did try to advise Leo against investing in the factory (based on her letter to Leo when she leaves him). With how she was upset enough over this to leave Freddy, make a jab at him by saying she’d raise her daughters to be “honest”, as well as her warning to him that “No one can get away with their responsibilities, Freddy. We all have to pay for what we’ve done”, I wouldn’t be surprised if the lawsuits Freddy faced were because of her and the factory incident, after which he was forced to take a “humble job with a laughable salary” up until he left for the manor.

From here, we don’t get too many more specifics about Martha. What we do know is she eventually goes to the Lydia Jones Clinic.

Lydia Jones was born to a middle-class family, her “ambition and brilliance” allowing her to become a doctor, despite how difficult this was for women to do at this time. As she did this, she always made sure to “practice on herself before using a syringe on a patient”, “prescribed regimens for the good of my patients according to my ability” and promised “never will I harm a patient”.

Upon getting her medical license, she “rented a tiny shop front with the aim of helping as many people as I could”. This “tiny shop” became the “Lydia Jones Clinic”, which is also located on White Sand Street (specifically at 173 White Sand Street).

Along with her desire to help people, Lydia also looked forward to the clinic as a way to “acquire experience that’s impossible to get in medical school”. Unfortunately, the clinic doesn’t do very well: “Records from June to December. Income and expenses are seriously unbalanced. This clinic is losing money”.

Some of the expenses described include: Worm oil and alcohol, Gauze bandages, Chlorodyne, Plantago asiatica and elecampane, and Quinine.

Worm oil was used to expel and kill parasites, alcohol was used as a solvent, antiseptic, and disinfectant in medical preparations, gauze bandages were of course used for wound dressings, chlorodyne was a medicine in the 19th century used to relieve pain, cause sleepiness and euphoria, and improve diarrhea, and plantago asiatica, elecampane, and quinine were plants used for various medicines (plantago asiatica is said to be used to treat things like liver disease, stomach problems, and urinary system inflammation. Elecampane could be used to treat respiratory issues like asthma and bronchitis. Quinine has been used to treat malaria due to its antiparasitic properties).

The ledger shows these expenses were during 1887. Emma was born in 1876 and 22 at the time of her game, which was in July. Emily is 32 at the time of her game with Emma. Therefore, Emily was born in March 1867, and she would’ve been around 20 in 1887 at this time.

In an attempt to increase profits, Lydia advertises her skills as an “obstetrician” to hopefully attract more customers. As an obstetrician, the specialized nature of their work as well as the distinct patient base, this might’ve enabled Lydia to charge higher fees (or open an avenue for profit from services not available for a normal doctor), and thus hopefully help her clinic out of the red.

It’s likely she earned some of the experience and skills she’d need to advertise as an obstetrician during medical school, though I do wonder if she did any additional study at this point to learn what she needed to before selling her services as an obstetrician (as someone who sought experience not found at medical school, and due to her ambition, she sounds like someone interested and willing to learn).

Going back to the original purpose of Lydia’s clinic, which was to “help as many people” as possible, this is likely the same reason why Lydia begins volunteering at “No. 59 White Sand Street”. The deduction does say “Never forget my oath: No matter the time or place, man or woman, the wellbeing of patients is my sole purpose”.

It’s also possible, like with Kreacher, that maybe they promised her some kind of compensation or benefits if she helped them (and considering how her clinic is losing money, this wouldn’t be too unthinkable).

I believe it’s possible that Lydia began volunteering at the church’s clinic before it merged with Kreacher’s orphanage to become the asylum. And while she’s at the asylum, that’s where she’d encounter Lisa.

Going back to Emma after she’s been sent to the orphanage:

According to what Emma says during the Christmas event, she seemed to do similar work outside (gardening) as Robbie. She apparently enjoyed it enough to where she dreams of owning a flower shop when she’s older. Though also similar to Robbie, she describes life back then as not easy.

She says she “watched the plants grow freely outside the fence”, which shows Lisa’s desire to leave the orphanage. And eventually, Lisa does attempt to escape the church’s mental institution (that she’d been sent to from Kreacher’s orphanage). Kreacher said it happened “10 years or so ago”, meaning Lisa would’ve maybe been 12 at the time, and had been at the orphanage for 3-4 years by that point.

It’s possible the reason Lisa was sent to the Church’s clinic or diagnosed with mental illness could relate to the issues we know she has during her game (not to mention, Lisa’s mother did abandon her, her father wasn’t the same after he came to own the arms factory, she was left at an orphanage, and then she had to deal with her father’s seeming death, so she has been through a lot).

Kreacher discovered Lisa’s escape and “notified the nurse at the asylum to bring her back”. He did this because he was concerned for her safety if she wandered the streets on her own and met any of the real undesirables out there (he knew from his own experience how tough it was out there). Despite his actions, Mr. Macallan, Father Duke’s representative, “took credit and ‘generously’ offered me 13 shillings as a reward”. Macallan obviously wasn’t a great person either, considering his actions as well as the fact 13 shillings is apparently equivalent to “two patients’ portions of bread” (which yea he was probably being cheap, but in a way he was also implying Emma is worth 2 portions of bread if that’s all he was giving for her, which could also be a statement regarding how the church saw all the kids in general), which is why Kreacher calls him “stingy”.

Kreacher we know is 30 at the time of Emma’s game, while Emma is 22. This means that Kreacher was around 16 or 17 when Emma joined his orphanage (based on the fact she was 8 or 9 when she was sent there) and would’ve been around 20 or 21 at the time of her attempt to escape the church.

I’m not quite sure where to put this next bit (due to lack of info), but for now I’m putting it here.

Eventually, the church decides they want to take over Kreacher’s orphanage. We don’t know when exactly this happens in relation to everything else, but I’m assuming it was some time after Kreacher ensured Lisa was returned to the church’s facilities (as I assume once they remove him, he’d be out of the picture, and if he’d been removed, I’m not sure he would’ve been there to stop Lisa’s escape).

Either way, it likely happens after they apply some pressure to Kreacher to do so, who agrees, “generously handing over his business and land to the church”. The church thanks him for his “generosity” and informs him “the government will compensate you for all of your financial losses”. Kreacher’s backstory states this compensation was “significant” but “not enough to build a new orphanage”, despite the fact they told him “White Sand Street needs a new orphanage, and I think that you are the most suitable person to handle it”.

The church, publicly, uses the excuse of many of the orphans having “varying degrees of mental illness” to take over the orphanage and transform it into White Sand Street Asylum.

Considering we know the church previously used a “clinic” at an “abandoned church” and then took over Kreacher’s orphanage before renovating it into the asylum, this would explain why the asylum in game has elements of a church, hospital/clinic, and Kreacher’s original orphanage. They seemed to have literally combined all the existing structures and then just added the mental hospital parts to it.

In any case, once the church takes over and starts renovations, they place Mr. Macallan in charge of the orphanage in Kreacher’s place. Things at first seemed to be better without Kreacher, but unfortunately, now that the church has full control over them, they are now able to do with them as they please.

We know the church continues to “treat” Lisa (whether this was before the church completely took over or not, I’m not quite sure). We don’t know how long it was going on for, but we do know she was receiving “electroshock therapy” at least when she was 14, which was 2 years after her 1st escape attempt.

The one to give Lisa this electroshock therapy was Lydia Jones.

Lisa is said to be 14 at this time, meaning Lydia was around 24, which would’ve been maybe 4 years after that accounting ledger showing Lydia��s expenses (and the fact her clinic was losing money).

Unfortunately for Lydia, by giving Lisa this treatment, it breaks Lydia’s oath to “prescribe regiments for the good of my patients” and never “harm a patient”.

This also isn’t the only bad thing happening to the patients at the asylum. Another example is described in Robbie’s deduction 4, which says the “medical personnel” are to “Rinse a patient's head continuously with cold water” to “calm their crazed mind”. This treatment seems to be given for any unruly or “violent” patients (likely those that attempt to resist), especially as the deduction includes “Shock and fear are part of the treatment”.

White Sand Street Asylum is likely based on London's Bethlem Hospital, an insane asylum that grew in infamy due so much, this hospital is the origin of the word “bedlam”, which essentially refers to a scene of chaos, mayhem, and confusion. It was originally founded (on top of a sewer that frequently overflowed) in 1247 by the Italian bishop Goffredo de Prefetti to raise money for the Crusades. Eventually it became an institution for the insane, and later was moved in 1675 to London. At the front gate were 2 statues: one named "Melancholy" who appeared calm and the other named "Raving Madness" who was chained and angry. The facility gradually became overcrowded, causing a deterioration in living conditions as well as malnourishment. At the same time, it slowly became a more and more inhumane place. The death rate became so bad, the hospital had its own graveyard.

Patients here were little more than prisoners. They could even chain patients (iron bands fastened around the neck, abdomen, and arms) to a wall and be left there for years. Even worse was how the asylum allowed visitors, for a fee, to view the “lunatics” to increase bedlam’s profits. The lucky ones were confined, while the unfortunate were subjected to things like leeches, bloodletting, induced blisters, starvation, beatings, submersion in cold water for long periods, or subjected to “rotational therapy”. This involved a patient sitting on a chair suspended from the ceiling and spun, sometimes more than 100 rotations a minute, to induce vomiting and vertigo (as back then, they believed this would expel their illnesses or whatever was wrong with the patient).

Also symbolic was how the building itself, despite the exterior of the building designed to resemble the Royal Tuileries Palace in Paris, was so heavy and the foundation so weak that the load bearing walls in the front cracked almost immediately. These cracks (which grew worse over time) filled with water as soon as it started raining, leading to dampness and unhealthy conditions.

(The gate for the real building, at least to me, feels at least slightly reminiscent to the orphanage gate we see Lisa standing in front of before it became the asylum.)

White Sand Street Asylum wasn’t any better than Bedlam. Especially as they performed experiments on their patients. As part of these experiments, they gave their patients a type of “medicine” using the excuse that they were “sick” (even though they weren’t). In Robbie’s 2nd letter, it is described as “bitter”, and it seems it causes the kids to feel “dizzy and tired”, so much so that it’s a bit challenging to “hold this piece of charcoal to write”. It also seems to affect their memories, as one of the other kids says “Oh, no, Dolores has started shrieking, too. Can it be that... she doesn't recognize her little crybaby anymore? Hasn't she been throwing out the medicine?”

Speaking of Dolores, it seems she knew the medicine wasn’t actually a good thing, and would pour Robbie’s medicine out the window, then she’d drink hers while Robbie was asleep. Robbie found out and tried Dolores’ “soup” once, but “it wasn’t very good”.

Earlier in the letter, the author of Robbie’s 2nd letter mentions a “viscous metallic liquid”. It’s possible this could be referring to mercury, a metallic element that is liquid at room temperature. Some doctors even had mercury pills. In the past, mercury was believed to have therapeutic properties and thus used in various medical treatments. It could be used to induce sweating or purging, and was a method back then they used to remove toxins from the body or to stimulate the digestive system, and doctors also used it to treat mania. Unfortunately, mercury is highly toxic and can cause severe damage to the nervous system and other organs. Prolonged exposure to mercury can lead to neurological disorders, including tremors, memory loss, and behavioral changes.

Some other effects of mercury poisoning (or mad hatter’s disease) I found included: delirium, hallucinations, loss of memory, loss of consciousness, vivid dreams, depression, suicidal tendency, insomnia, a severe and constant burning sensation and pain in various areas, tremors, dizziness, fever, fatigue, vomiting and diarrhea, hypovolemic shock, headaches, paresthesia, ataxia, dysarthria (motor speech disorder), visual field constriction, blindness, and hearing impairment, and emotional disturbances, mental confusion, and behavioral changes (like excessive shyness, marked irritability, excitability), and death.

In fact, calomel, which was seen as a “wonder drug” or “panacea” was commonly used during the 19th century to treat a variety of issues, actually had mercury in it, and could cause mercury poisoning.

In Ada and Emil’s 10 Day Memories event, it includes medicine instructions, which mentions effects of “prolonged and excessive dosages can result in dizziness, hallucinations, loss of consciousness, and other side effects”. Mercury also causes more/worse side effects when a person is dealing with “prolonged” exposure or due to “excessive dosages”, like the Calomel.

Considering how the medicine is described to affect the asylum patients, especially Dolores, this seems to fit.

This also fits with Lydia’s deduction 6, which implies she may have been giving “poisonous drugs” to others while she volunteered at White Sand Street, despite her oath.

Unfortunately, besides this and the electroshock therapy to Lisa, these aren’t the only instances of her breaking her oath. In her desperation to ensure her clinic (the Lydia Jones Clinic) was earning enough money to stay out of the red, she decides to provide “private medical services for female patients”.

Since she was earlier listed as an obstetrician, these “private” only for “females” services that are hinted to be not good based on her deduction saying “Sounds like something strange is going on”, Lydia was likely offering/performing abortions, which were illegal back in the day. Lydia’s reasoning for doing this being “Sometimes, when confronted with life's struggles, you have to compromise” and “Sometimes, you have to break the rules to get what you want”. As we see in Lydia’s 4th letter, she knows she was breaking her oath, but used the excuse of “I had no other choice” to say she wasn’t at fault. It’s not until later that she realizes the truth.

To ensure she wasn’t caught, she threw out anything she acquired after performing an abortion into a bag and let “hungry dogs” rip the bag apart.

Fortunately for Lydia, after beginning to offer these services, she sees “Income has dramatically increased” in just 3 months, and her clinic is finally “turning a profit”.

Unfortunately, these good times don’t last forever for Lydia. It all changes the day Martha Remington comes to Lydia’s clinic.

Despite how we know Martha told Freddy that she’d keep Annecy, their unborn child, it seems she went to Lydia to have an abortion done considering Lyda’s deduction 10 says she (likely the “woman” described here) “underwent an illegal surgery”.

One thought as to why she changed her mind could be because, when she went to pick up Lisa from the orphanage, she saw the horrible conditions there. After which, maybe she felt unfit or unworthy to be a mother and decided to abort Annecy (as well as unable to remove Lisa from the asylum). Another thought is it might have to do with the “mild anxiety” Martha was said to have in Freddy’s 2nd letter. Maybe she didn’t take the “prescribed medicine” when she left, and thus her anxiety might’ve gotten worse.

One last crack theory I had about why the change of heart involves my questions regarding what “medicine” she was given. Considering my earlier theory that Dr. Mesmer aka Charles Mesmer was the person experimenting on Leo as well as how Keigan’s deductions imply Dr. Mesmer was the one who gave Keigan a type of medicine she could use to cause her brother’s health to deteriorate, with this medicine likely being the one from the deduction before that one that caused him to be involved in multiple medical accidents (yet declared not guilty in each). If this is the same medicine being used to weaken/poison her brother, I wonder if this was the same stuff Charles Mesmer could’ve given Martha Remington and potentially maybe why she changed her mind in the end about Annecy and maybe Lisa too.

In any case, she goes to Lydia’s, but the operation/surgery doesn’t go well. According to Lydia’s beta deduction 10, it says the female that is presumably Martha suffered “excessive bleeding” aka hemorrhaging. Hemorrhaging (as well as serious infection) is rare following an abortion but can indicate an incomplete abortion or other complications. In a study of 11,319 medication abortions in 2009 and 2010, hemorrhage occurred in 16 cases (0.14 percent). The need for a blood transfusion – an uncommon occurrence – is an indication of clinically significant hemorrhage.

Most doctors who performed illegal abortions cared only for being well rewarded for their trouble. In the 1960s, these doctors often turned women away if they couldn’t pay $1000 or more in cash. These same doctors also emphasized speed and their own protection. They often didn't use anesthesia because it took too long for women to recover, and they wanted women out of the office as quickly as possible. Almost no one took adequate precautions against hemorrhage or infection.

Typically, the abortionist would forbid the woman to contact him or her again. Often she wouldn't know his or her real name. If a complication occurred, harassment by the law was a frightening possibility. The need for secrecy isolated women having abortions and those providing them.

Given this context, this would explain why, upon Lydia noticing Martha’s excessive bleeding, would’ve fled from the clinic while Martha was still on the operating table.

This is when Lydia writes to Lorraine, stating her inability to continue volunteering at the asylum, and then discussing the “mistakes” being performed at the asylum. This being the fact the children aren’t insane or suffering from mental illness as the church said they were for so long. Lydia states she found this out during her “treatment and evaluation” of Lisa, referring to her electroshock therapy, which Lisa didn’t actually need and likely only did her harm.

After this, Lydia is forced to go on the run, as the punishment for abortions, which were illegal back then, could mean life imprisonment. This is why Lydia changes her name to Emily Dyer. This is also likely why Emily in her backstory is said to eventually/later on be “tired of constantly moving around” and wants to “find a place she can call ‘home’ and ultimately enjoy a life of security and stability”.

One issue I want to call out involves when this (Martha’s operation and death) happens. Based on my attempts, I just can’t get it to make perfect sense.

The factory fire happened when Lisa was 11. Martha leaves Freddy as soon as she hears about the factory’s “4-figure debt” (which is all that is referenced in Freddy’s 1st letter, but it’s likely referring to right after the news of the fire spreads). Martha is already pregnant, meaning if she went to Lydia’s for an abortion, she has less than a year to do so (how long it takes to give birth).

The problem? If the fire was when Lisa was 11, and Martha left Freddy right after she learned of it, meaning she had to have gone to Lydia while Lisa was 11-12, that’s impossible as we know Lydia was still at the asylum performing electroshock therapy on Lisa when Lisa was 14.

It’s possible the public (and Martha) didn’t know about the debt until years after the fire. I’m a bit doubtful of this idea but that doesn’t mean it’s not impossible. Though if this isn’t the answer, I wonder if Netease just made a mistake with the timing here?

Before Martha’s death that forces Lydia to leave the asylum, Lydia seems to have been there the day Robbie died. I believe this is based on Emily’s 4th letter, which includes a mention of “that wailing night in the orphanage”.

Going back to Robbie and Dolores, we know Dolores was tossing Robbie’s medicine so he wouldn’t be affected by it, though Dolores herself kept taking her medicine. This leads to her starting to “shriek”. She isn’t the only one as Robbie’s 2nd letter, when it says she’s “started shrieking, too” implies other children have started doing that, likely because of the “medicine”. As we described earlier, the medicine did include “hallucinations” as an effect, and if the stuff does include mercury, we already described all the possible effects caused by that, and altogether, these things would explain the “shrieking” and why the kid in Robbie’s 2nd letter wonders if Dolores doesn’t recognize Robbie.

Due to Dolores’ mental state continuing to deteriorate as a result of the medicine, she is taken away somewhere else, likely by the asylum doctors. The kid mentions she’s located in an area/room with a “heavy pull-out window there, although it’s always locked” and uses a knife to “pry it open” so he can peek at what’s happening to Dolores.

Robbie’s deduction 7 is a bit different from his letter, though the end result is essentially the same.

His letter implies Dolores got moved to her room the day before due to her deteriorating mental state. Deduction 7 implies she’s been in whatever room she’s in for some time, as Robbie has visited her “after curfew” more than once.

The letter seems to imply he attempted to visit her once (due to this happening between the 24th and 25th) after the move, likely because he could hear her screaming and he wanted to either check on her or make her feel better and died due to the kid from the letter leaving the “heavy pull-out window” open (with the kid blaming himself). Deduction 7 implies the window has been broken for awhile, specifically that the “screws of the window were loose”, as it has already almost chopped off Robbie’s fingers once, and he just got unlucky the day it finally took his head, with Dolores blaming herself for not fixing the window she knew was broken.

For now, I’m assuming the letter is the best version of events to use (mostly just because the 2nd letter is newer than the deductions, and Netease may have tweaked events/story later on for a reason). So maybe Dolores and Robbie were still separated into different rooms even before Dolores was dragged away to the room she was put in on the 24th. Robbie would sneak in “after curfew” and have Dolores tell him the story of the juniper tree because he wants her company. Dolores, who wants to be with her brother, asks why they have to be separated, but Lorraine won’t respond, likely unable to tell her the real reason (because Dolores is particularly unwell, likely because of the medicine). Dolores is later moved when her mental state worsens due to the medicine. The kid unlocks the window with a knife so he can peek at Dolores and what they’re doing to her, but leaves it open when he leaves. That way, on the 25th, Robbie, seeing the open window, attempts to climb in, but is decapitated in the attempt, potentially also because the window frame has a few loose screws.

That same day, volunteers are made to clean up the mess by the window. During this, the volunteer mentions hearing about “a deranged patient attempted to hit the doctors on duty with an axe”. This was likely Dolores upon finding Robbie’s decapitated body, causing her to go out of control, and use his axe to attack the doctors in her room.

Later on, they seem to allow Dolores out, who spends her time “pacing beneath the juniper tree”.

This could be around when Robbie’s 3rd letter happens. In this letter, Dolores is talking to Robbie. She says she finally found a quiet day to visit him. She is likely visiting his grave, considering Robbie’s 4th letter mentions a “mound of soil” under the juniper tree. She warmly remembers the days when “the four of us were together as a family”, even now “when my senses are fading” (due to the “medicine”). She refers to her life as “insignificant” but talks well about her parents and Robbie.

This really shows that, to Dolores, her family was her entire life. She did everything for them, and likely thought of it as her responsibility to take care of everyone, especially Robbie. Unfortunately, when their parents die, her opinion of herself decreases. She might believe she somehow failed, but especially punishes herself for being unable to explain to Robbie what happened. Now Robbie becomes her entire life, almost like a lifeline. She wants to care for him. She does her best. Unfortunately, just like with her parents, events outside of her control lead to his death. And just like with her parents’ deaths, she faults herself. It was her responsibility to keep him safe, and she failed. Without her family, who was her entire life, she feels empty, like nothing matters. All she can do is continue to tear herself apart with thoughts about Robbie’s death.

Dolores feels “desperate” like “my world is being buried”. She’s further upset with how despite what has happened, no one else seems to care, just “business as usual”. She describes everything as “suffocatingly cold. There are no feelings, no thoughts in there. Everything repeats mechanically and lifelessly”.

She also mentions the asylum staff were “wary” of her initially but she acted like a “cheerful and obedient fool” to ensure she wouldn’t be “turned down”.

We also see here hints as to Dolores’ future plans when she says “Since they've long lost their humanity and the asylum is basically hell, I may as well bury everything here!” Though, I do wonder if by the way Dolores says “Don't worry, I'll come and see you. If that makes you less lonely, I'll be happy to do so”, if she means more than to just visit his grave again. As in she plans to die to be with him.

Actually, even an earlier line implies she may plan to die, as she talks about worrying she’ll do enough for him “before I see you”. This combined with how she says “Yet now that the chance is here, whatever humiliation in the past was worth it” backs up the idea she’s been planning this for some time.

This feels similar to how Freddy’s final line in his diary for Martha implies what he’s planning to do now that he’s figured out who Emily is: “It’s almost over, this long, gloomy journey. Martha, see you in hell.”

(Actually, both Dolores and Freddy lose a loved one they can’t live without, sort of lose control over them, formulate plans that involve at least attempting to kill other people in revenge, and include a line that could imply they may be willing to die to be with the person they love again. In that case, it feels like a pretty good parallel and thus could further imply that is what Dolores means.)

Back to Robbie’s 4th letter, we see Dolores had attempted to dig up Robbie’s body apparently before a nurse pulled her away, causing Dolores to “scratch and bite the nuns and even let out chilling laughter”. Lorraine says that Dolores’ “insanity has worsened”, but the volunteer who saw Dolores taken away doesn’t quite believe this and asks where her brother is. This is to show Dolores’ actions aren’t because of Dolores having “mental illness” but just because of Robbie’s death, which the asylum seems to be trying to avoid acknowledging.

It seems Dolores is targeting asylum doctors and staff. She eventually goes after the volunteer writing Robbie’s 4th letter, but other people (based on other versions of the letter) rescue the volunteer from being killed by Dolores, who is likely killed in return (“Dolores’ face that was warped by pain” and “Dolores wasn’t coming back”).

I do want to mention 1 crack theory.

I wasn’t able to be confident enough to suggest it is what actually happened, but there was enough to it that I still wanted to summarize it.

Ok so, Dolores said she essentially pretended to be obedient (likely to drop the guard of the asylum staff and give her an opportunity to do what she needed to). I wondered if this could’ve been why she kept taking the medicine even though she tossed out Robbie’s medicine. She may have even pretended to be more insane or unwell than she actually was (meaning she may have only been “shrieking” as part of her act). But more importantly, while she was still acting “obedient”, she found out a “secret”, something about the asylum or those running it that the doctors and staff didn’t want her to know.

Before this, Robbie’s deductions 3 and 5 make it sound like Robbie and Dolores’ lives improved once Macallan and the church took over ownership of the orphanage. Everyone “looked kind”, they had “plenty of bread and milk, brand new books and clean clothes”, and they no longer had to beg. Dolores even said “things have been so good that I’m anxious”.

The reason I bring this up is because I think it’s possible the secret Dolores learned was involving the truth of the asylum and all the terrible things (and experiments) they were doing in its walls to its patients. Things weren’t as good as they seemed. It’s possible she learned something else, like if the asylum wasn’t actually concerned with the well being of its patients, and instead was primarily interested in profit (similar to Bethlem aka Bedlam asylum, the place White Sand Street is based on).

In any case, this could’ve been why she was separated from Robbie in deduction 7. It could also be why she was dragged away in Robbie’s 2nd letter. Considering the mention of the “water healing” in Robbie’s deduction 4, I wonder if this was what she was being subjected to on the 24th and 25th (maybe they also were trying to stop her from telling anyone else what she learned), though there are plenty of other methods of torture they could’ve used on Dolores.

Robbie, hearing her screaming, enters the window left open by another kid to the room Dolores is in with his axe and might’ve ended up being the “deranged patient” that “attempted to hit the doctors on duty” with his axe (like he does to survivors in game).

Anyways, the axe is his before it becomes Dolores’ and he is a kid so, similar to his inability to understand what happened to his parents, he might not understand the full reality of his actions when he attacks the doctors and thus not think much of it or have a problem doing it.

The doctors stop him (the same way they later stop Dolores during her killing spree) and end up killing him (like they do her later).

After this, I think they fake his cause of death to make it look like he died because of the broken window to hide what they did (similar to how Scrooge attempts to fake Bella’s cause of death during Atropos’ Ropes aka Golden Rose Theater).

The volunteer in Robbie’s 4th letter, after being told to clean up the mess around the window, is only given the explanation “a deranged patient attempted to hit the doctors on duty with an axe”, which sounds more like an excuse for self-defense (and why they’d attack the patient), instead of just saying the patient died in an accident involving a broken window (which sounds a lot simpler and less suspicious. The explanation they gave sounds like they’re hiding something, especially with how the volunteer says “that’s all I need to know” as if she was threatened by superiors not to ask too many questions).

(Maybe this could’ve been the “secret” Dolores discovered. Maybe she initially blamed herself for not fixing the window, but then found out how he actually died.)

Later, after Dolores is dragged from Robbie’s grave, the volunteer mentions Lorraine said Dolores’ insanity is worsening as the excuse for her actions, though the volunteer brings up Dolores’ brother being gone.

It’s possible this could be the volunteer Lorraine references in Robbie’s 1st letter, and the incident Lorraine mentions is actually Robbie’s death, just like the volunteer was asking about. Lorraine in Robbie’s 1st letter mentions “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor” aka don’t lie. This may imply Lorraine has been lying, and it’s possible this could also include the lie regarding how Robbie died, as well as the lie that Dolores is insane (when she and the other children never actually were).

Then, when Dolores starts her killing spree, rather than attacking and killing indiscriminately, if Robbie had been killed by the asylum doctors/staff, that would give Dolores motivation for starting her attack in the first place and why she’d be particularly interested in killing and targeting the asylum staff.

Ok, crack theory over.

Anyways, after this incident is likely when Kreacher’s 1st letter happens, when he writes to Father Duke offering “condolences” and asking for him to transfer the kids to his “new asylum”. He uses money to attempt to reason with Duke to give him the kids, as the “chemicals” the asylum is always “brewing” is resulting in the kids being “driven to insanity or reduced to dullards”, meaning they can’t make money.

Speaking of Kreacher, based on how he says in a later letter that Macallan “didn’t last long”, I wonder if this could mean he was 1 of those killed by Dolores (which is possible if she really was targeting asylum staff in revenge).

Kreacher never does get the kids back, nor does the compensation he receives from Duke/the government amount to enough for a new orphanage, which is why he goes to the manor.

What does happen to the kids is, based on the letter Emily asking Lorraine to “evaluate the patients in the asylum once more” and “seek help from a third party professional” for “your own safety”, Lorraine requests for Baron DeRoss’ “medical advice” in Robbie’s 1st letter to help with a “diagnosis”.

This is essentially to undo the church’s initial claim that many of the kids had mental illnesses, a claim they used to create White Sand Street Asylum, this is likely why Emily emphasizes Lorraine use a 3rd party, and why she emphasizes Lorraine’s safety as the rest of the church (like Duke) likely wouldn’t be happy over this.

As part of the “upcoming consultations” and to ensure “smooth operation”, she introduces Baron DeRoss to “Father Duke as a donor”.

Soon after, the evaluations begin.

Next: Asylum Analysis Part 3

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thatchronicfeeling · 1 year ago

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It has come to my attention that it's Period Drama Appreciation Week 2023. I love period dramas and grew up watching them. They have been a formative part of my life and I'm now too disabled to watch video. Even gifs are too difficult for my brain to process. It is also Bi Visibility Week and I'm posting this on Bisexual Visibility Day. Since I can't safely post a pile of gifs, here is a list celebrating actors/characters/moments from period dramas that have been significant to my bisexuality. [Yes, this is a big list. I am missing out on watching and re-watching A Lot of awesome period dramas and I hate it. This list is helping me reclaim a bit of joy. Also I've probably forgotten some favourites and may update this.]

Lori Petty in A League of Their Own

Jodhi May in any period drama

Mary Wickes in any period drama

Freddy Honeychurch in A Room with a View

Anne Hathaway playing cricket in that rust-coloured dress in Becoming Jane

Esther Summerson (disabled heroine!) & Allan Woodcourt in Bleak House

the freshly-painted yellow cabin door swinging shut with the names 'Calam & Katie' painted on it in Calamity Jane

the sequence where Doris Day sings 'Secret Love' in Calamity Jane

Michelle in Derry Girls (and James too, a wee bit)

George Eliot & Lenore in Edgar Allan Poe's Murder Mystery Dinner Party

the moment where Emma and Mr Knightley start dancing together and it feels like you're inside the music in Emma

Polly Waker's haircut in The Enchanted April

Matthias Schoenaerts in Far From the Madding Crowd

Idgie & Ruth in Fried Green Tomatoes

Suranne Jones in Gentleman Jack

recognising Marian Lister as a bisexual who hasn't realised it yet in Gentleman Jack

Mary Agnes McNue in Godless

Bel & Freddie in The Hour

June Allyson leaping over a hedge (or is it a fence?) as Jo March in Little Women

the Patricia Rozema adaptation of Mansfield Park

the whole sequence where Judy Garland strides onto the neighbours' porch to sock The Boy Next Door in the jaw in Meet Me in St Louis

Katie the cook in Meet Me in St Louis

the moment where Benedick braces his arm against a doorframe in a desperate panic to stop Beatrice from going to eat Claudio's heart in the marketplace in Much Ado About Nothing

Denzel Washington in Much Ado About Nothing

Mr Thornton's hands (ok, and also his face) in North & South

tomboy Doris Day in On Moonlight Bay

Valentine in Parade's End

all of Portrait of a Lady on Fire

Papi in Pose

Lizzy Bennet declaring that she would never marry someone she did not love in Pride & Prejudice

Mr Darcy diving into a pond in Pride & Prejudice

both Angel and Joanne in Rent (the 2008 broadway version)

Martha the maid in The Secret Garden

Lelia Walker in Self-Made

swashbuckling Margaret Dashwood in Sense & Sensibility

the dance sequences in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

the whole Thomas Kent situation in Shakespeare in Love

Maria (when she is not a nun) in The Sound of Music

Kitty Butler onstage in Tipping the Velvet

Annie and Janette and Jacques and Linh in Treme

Audra McDonald and Anne Hathaway and Raúl Esparza in that promotional photo for Twelfth Night

Julie Andrews and her male co-star singing a version of 'Home on the Range' with the line 'and the deer and the antelope are gay' in Victor/Victoria

Justine Waddell in Wives & Daughters

#perioddramaweek2023 #bi visibility week #bisexual visibility day #bi visibility day

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notrightnowsblog · 2 years ago

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I’ve been thinking of a Muppet adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. And there’s really only one way I see it going. Gonzo would narrate in character as Jane Austen the same way he did as Charles Dickens.

Piggy would insist on playing Lizzie and would be thrilled that Darcy is played be a handsome English actor. Let’s say Josh O’Conner, who plays the role like it’s a Merchant Ivory production instead of a Muppet movie. Piggy is over the moon that she finally starring in a “quality picture.”

Most of the rest of the cast is Muppets. The lack of major female coded characters is mostly ignored, just slotting the best or funniest option for the part. Beaker is Mr. Bennet, constantly roped into being a test subject for Bunson as Mrs. Bennet’s elaborate Rube Goldberg devices to catch husbands for their daughters, Sam the Eagle is Mr Collins. Statler and Waldorf are twin sisters Lady Catherine and Kathleen DeBourgh. Fozzie is Mary but instead of the piano he’s forcing everyone to listen to his standup. Link Hogthrob is Wickham who has to be dragged to elope by Pepe the prawn as Lydia.

And Kermit, sweet affable, Kermit, is of course Mr. Bingley. Piggy is happy to gush to him about Joshiepoo/Darcykins and how wonderful it is to be in a classic romance with such a handsome leading man. And she’s delighted when Kermit appears a tiny bit jealous.

The movie starts as a faithful adaptation, as faithful as it can be with the Muppets. Sure you get little interactions where they are clearly themselves instead of Auten’s character’s, commenting on the script, cracking jokes, bickering etc. Then Piggy witnesses Bingley-Kermit and Jane, who is played by an elegant English rose of an actress, seeming a little too chummy. Maybe the actress (Emma Watson would work) is assuring Kermit that Piggy doesn’t really have feelings for Josh but all Piggy sees is Emma’s hand on Kermit’s back. From then on she’s frantically running around trying to both perform her role as Elizabeth while also sabotaging Jane and Kermit’s scenes.

It works, she startles the horse Jane is riding making Emma fall off and twist her ankle. Emma quits. piggy declare she’ll just have to play Jane too, but no need. Gonzo as Miss Austen introduces a replacement, Lily James.

So now it’s Piggy vs. whatever pretty lady is Jane for this scene. Lily “accidentally” takes croquet mallet to the face. Josh OConner has to chase Piggy through a forest trying to perform Darcy’s first proposal because Piggy is hellbent on running over Sophie Turner with a golf cart.

The whole thing has devolved into chaos by the third act with Kermit screaming at Piggy that of course he was just acting! And he was just mad that she never considered him to be Darcy material. Gonzo rewrites the script so Bingley and Darcy were switched at birth and Kermit is actually Darcy. Final scene is the double wedding of Kermit and Piggy as Lizzie and Darcy and Josh now demoted to Bingley marrying last minute replacement Jane, Sweetums.

Gonzo declares this is all exactly as he, Jane Austen, always envisioned it.

#the muppets #pride and prejudice #adaptation #mashing together my favorite things #Jane Austen

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jackoshadows · 2 years ago

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There is a strain of thought in the Asoiaf fandom that because Jon and Arya love each other as brother and sister, that it’s impossible for these cousins to fall in romantic love when they are older.

There is plenty of classic romance out there between close friends, cousins and step siblings who grow up together as children and where a platonic attachment turns romantic later on. As anyone who has read Austen could tell you, it’s a rather bizarre supposition that it’s impossible for the platonic love and strong emotional bonds between two characters ever turning romantic.

Mansfield Park has first cousins falling in love despite Edmund and Fanny growing up together and being good friends. In Emma, the protagonists have a 16 year age difference and Emma grows up treating Mr. Knightley as family (She calls him ‘brother’) and we see that slowly change over the course of the novel.

There’s Austen’s satirical short story Frederic and Elfrida, where these characters who end up marrying each other are thus described:

The Uncle of Elfrida was the Father of Frederic; in other words, they were first cousins by the Father's side. Being both born in one day & both brought up at one school, it was not wonderful that they should look on each other with something more than bare politeness. They loved with mutual sincerity, but were both determined not to transgress the rules of Propriety by owning their attachment, either to the object beloved, or to any one else.

Others have mentioned the parallels between Jon/Arya and Heathcliff and Catherine from Bronte’s Wuthering Heights. Earnshaw being fond of Heathcliff and bringing him up with his children. Heathcliff and Catherine being fond of each other, their passionate love and ultimately their tragic end.

Friends to lovers is a popular trope for a reason, where platonic love gradually turns to romance and sexual attraction.

Arya will be more forgiving ... until she realizes, with terror, that she has fallen in love with Jon, who is not only her half-brother but a man of the Night's Watch, sworn to celibacy. Their passion will continue to torment Jon and Arya throughout the trilogy, until the secret of Jon's true parentage is finally revealed in the last book. - Original Outline, GRRM, 1993

More importantly, ASoIaF is set in a world where some of what GRRM considers to be ‘great love stories’ happens between two close siblings. This is a fantasy, made up world by the author and applying real world norms and science to this fictional world makes no sense.

Some examples of note. There’s Alysanne and Jaehaerys who grew up very close siblings, were in love with each other, married each other and described as such by GRRM:

There’s the tragic love story of Prince Aemon the Dragon Knight and Naerys Targaryen, again, close siblings growing up.

Aemon was inseparable from his sister Naerys when they were young. Stories speak of Aemon's doomed love for his sister. Aemon and Naerys supposedly loved each other.According to the singers, both Aemon and Naerys cried the day Naerys married Aegon

There’s Alyssa and Baelon Targaryen.

“Alyssa is for Baelon,” she declared. “She has been following him around since she could walk. They are as close as you and I were at their age.” (The Long Reign - Jaehaerys and Alysanne: Policy, Progeny, and Pain, Fire and Blood)

In ASoIaF itself, we have the Lannister twins Jaime and Cersei who grew up together and who are sexually attracted towards each other. It’s telling that GRRM textually writes Jon and Arya as clear foils to Jaime and Cersei.

Qyburn’s words were terse and to the point, Cersei’s fevered and fervent. Come at once, she said. Help me. Save me. I need you now as I have never needed you before. I love you. I love you. I love you. Come at once.

Vyman was hovering by the door, waiting, and Jaime sensed that Peck was watching too. “Does my lord wish to answer?” the maester asked, after a long silence.

A snowflake landed on the letter. As it melted, the ink began to blur. Jaime rolled the parchment up again, as tight as one hand would allow, and handed it to Peck. “No,” he said. “Put this in the fire.” - Jaime, AFfC

Jon flexed the fingers of his sword hand. The Night’s Watch takes no part. He closed his fist and opened it again. What you propose is nothing less than treason. He thought of Robb, with snowflakes melting in his hair. Kill the boy and let the man be born. He thought of Bran, clambering up a tower wall, agile as a monkey. Of Rickon’s breathless laughter. Of Sansa, brushing out Lady’s coat and singing to herself. You know nothing, Jon Snow. He thought of Arya, her hair as tangled as a bird’s nest. I made him a warm cloak from the skins of the six whores who came with him to Winterfell … I want my bride back … I want my bride back … I want my bride back …

“I think we had best change the plan,” Jon Snow said. - Jon, ADwD

Essentially, the incestual attraction and love that happens in the world of asoiaf is between close siblings who grow up together. That’s the trend in this world. Arguing this or that incest makes more sense because the characters are not close or have never met might sound logical when we apply real world scientific norms to this fictional setting or might even help make the relationship more palatable for some readers put off by incest. However, in GRRM’s fictional world it’s the close siblings who fall in romantic love and end up marrying each other.

If we apply the trends and patterns of incestual romance (happy or sad, good or bad) in the world of ASoIaF, then there’s simply more chance of Jon and Arya happening than any other incestual pairing for Jon Snow. And the original outline is enough proof of this. Jon and Arya falling in love was where GRRM was headed and where he still could be headed considering the current books are still hitting some of the same story beats and plot points mentioned in the original outline.

#Jon Snow #Arya Stark #Needleheartwinter #Lovers and relationships

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maya-matlin · 10 months ago

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Okay, so I had to send you a third (fourth?!) Degrassi ask today despite promising I'd limit myself to one...yes, I'm hopelessly addicted to both the show and your thoughts on it :) How would you rank all of Clare's canon romantic ships from your personal favorite to least favorite? Same questions for Maya and for Emma! (The 'protagonist/final girl' Degrassi types tend to have every male character into them at some point or other lol, so you'll have a lot of choices when ranking ships for Emma and Clare!) I love you for sending me asks and will answer when and if I can formulate a coherent thought!

Clare Edwards: (Fair warning, I'm going to disappoint you with my answer):

1.) Clare/Drew (In all honesty, I don't think any of Clare's romances were completely right. But I genuinely think Drew came the closest to being what Clare needed. Clare is a very serious person who can easily get lost in romanticism and logic without allowing herself to take a breath and just enjoy the moment. Everything always had to be "all or nothing". But with Drew, things could be fun and lighthearted and just.. normal without needing to be some "epic love" or larger than life thing. I loved the close friendship that developed between them and the opposites attract dynamic. It really sucks that they were robbed of having a real relationship and that her baby wasn't his. If nothing else, they would have made healthy co-parents)

2.) Clare/Jake (Controversial choice, I know. It's not the best relationship or even the one with the most depth, but this is another relationship where everything didn't need to be so serious all the time. Obviously, they weren't compatible and could have never lasted due to wanting different things for a relationship. That's before you factor in that their relationship ended for good because their parents got married and it was really awkward)

3.) Clare/KC (It's the nostalgia. They were very sweet in season 8. I hoped for an embarrassingly long time that the two of them would get back together, up until season 12 when KC unexpectedly left the show. In hindsight, their chemistry wasn't the strongest and KC wasn't anywhere near ready to have a real relationship during his time on the show. But I preferred KC for Clare over the next guy)

4.) Clare/Eli (I'm so sorry. I genuinely think Eli was one of the worst things to ever happen to Clare. Their relationship had both extreme highs and lows but at the end of the day, I think Clare put up with a lot of disrespect and maliciousness from her self-imposed soulmate. I realize that early on, a lot of Eli's behavior could be attributed to his undiagnosed bipolar disorder and continued grief over his first girlfriend. But then, this behavior continued for the rest of his time on the show. When things went badly for Eli or Clare did something he didn't like, she suffered the brunt of his worst behavior. Coldly calling Clare a whore for sleeping with Drew while she was single was the last straw. I'm happy you were able to enjoy them. It would have been a lot easier for me if I felt the same way. Clare had grown so much over the years, yet her spine wasn't strong enough to realize her worth.

Maya Matlin:

1.) Maya/Zig (I can't be objective about these two. They're my all time favorite couple in any work of fiction. I loved their development and what they brought out in each other, for better or worse. Easily the best slow burn or friends to lovers arc ever attempted on Degrassi)

2.) Maya/Cam

3.) Maya/Miles

Emma Nelson:

1.) Emma/Sean (Honestly, most of Emma's relationships are either terrible or forgettable. Even though I believe Emma and Sean were incompatible in the long run, they were really cute in the early years. I'd like them even more if they hadn't gotten back together in season 6)

2.) Emma/Spinner (They had cute moments and would have worked way better had their romance not been shoehorned in at the literal last minute. Unfortunately, choosing to have them get married and declare their eternal love all in one movie turned most fans off)

3.) Emma/Chris (I thought this worked really well as a rebound romance, but it was never going to last. I also hated the slut shaming after Emma's fling with Jay)

4.) Emma/Kelly (Inoffensive, but mostly unnecessary. Liberty was right there and had been single since JT, yet they felt Emma needed another love interest)

5.) Emma/Damian (See above, but even worse. That guy clearly saw Emma, Manny and Liberty as interchangeable. No one asked for this)

6.) Emma/Peter (Emma compromised her morals and threw away her loyalty to Manny because she thought Peter was cute and felt more empathy over his tiny bedroom than Manny's revenge porn floating around the internet directly because of Peter, who took advantage of and attempted to blackmail Manny into a date)

You're welcome, by the way! I'm still trying to answer your last ask. I'm not ignoring it. I just need more time to get my thoughts together.

#first-date-in-space #Anti Eclare #Long post

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randomestfandoms-ocs · 2 years ago

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Descendants OC Masterlist A-K

( L - Z )

Name: Ace Hearts

Story: Long Live the Queen

Parents: Queen Of Hearts

Face claim: Curran Walters

Love interest: Evie

Summary: Contrary to popular belief, Ace Hearts was perfectly content with being his sister’s left hand man. He'd wanted to help her run the isle since long before she’d ever dreamt of doing such a thing. Being her enforcer, her advisor, her defender in her reign was all he’d ever wanted. There shouldn’t have been any problem. Only, there was. Ace wanted more. Specifically, he wanted a certain blue haired princess who’d devoted herself to good and to saving the children of the Isle. But as the changing tides in Auradon start to reflect back onto the Isle, Ace finds he might have to make a choice.

Name: Princess Ada

Story: Untitled

Parents: Adam

Face claim: Sadie Soverall

Summary: Auradon didn’t hold much value for second born royals, least of all girls. Princess Adelaide knew that her life had been planned from the day she was born; that she would spend her childhood learning to be a proper princess, attend high school at Auradon Prep, and within a year of her eighteenth birthday she would be married to Chad Charming. She had accepted it all. Her lessons were boring but endurable, she had wonderful friends at Auradon Prep, and Chad was her best friend. She knew better than to expect anything more out of life.

But when Ben brings a group of kids over from the Isle, Ada finds herself wondering if there isn’t a life for her beyond the borders of Auradon; a life where she can make her own path instead of following the one that was mapped out for her. A path that leads her right to a certain pirate with an accent to die for, and to a discovery about herself that may change the future of the entire kingdom of Auradon.

Name: Princess Addie

Story: Untitled

Parents: Belle & Adam

Face claim: Liana Liberato

Name: Alina Romanova

Story: Untitled

Parents: Anastasia Romanov & Dimitri

Face claim: Maude Apatow

Name: Anissa Radcliffe

Story: Ties That Bind

Parents: Anita & Roger Radcliffe

Face claim: Maia Mitchell

Love Interest: Ben; Aziz

Summary: Anissa Radcliffe had a plan. Well, Anissa, Sloane, and Kyra had a plan to fix the horrific oversights surrounding the isle, but Anissa had smaller, more achievable plans. Keep her siblings in line. Maintain perfect grades and excel in her many extracurriculars. Get Carlos De Vil off the isle come hell or high water. Although his mother had lost her mind, Cruella De Vil had once been a dear friend and mentor to Anissa’s own mother, and in another world, she and Carlos may have grown up as family. As Ben’s coronation approaches, several of her plans are falling into place, but no matter what, Anissa will not lose sight of the most important plan of all: protect Carlos De Vil. From the isle. From his mother. From Auradon. From himself.

Name: Arden Of DunBroch

Story: A Change Of Fate

Parents: Merida

Face claim: Hailee Steinfeld

Name: Atalia of Atlantica

Story: Untitled

Parents: Attina

Face claim: Madelyn Cline

Name: Avalon Le Fay

Story: King and Lionheart

AO3 | FFNet | Wattpad

Parents: Merlin & Morgana Le Fay

Face claim: Emma Dumont

Love interest: Jay; eventual Jay & Harry

Summary: Nimue, daughter of Arthur and Gwen, and Avalon Le Fay, daughter or Merlin and Morgana, had always been thick as thieves, and had always been ready to declare war on Auradon. Ever since the formation of the Isle, King Adam and the Fairy Godmother had been insisting that Morgana was still a villain, and therefore belonged on the Isle, and once Avalon was born, she agreed–so long as her daughter could stay in Camelot. When Arthur was killed barely a year later, Merlin and Gwen partnered up to raise their daughters and run a kingdom, until the girls would be old enough to do so themselves. Of course Auradon never trusted the one kingdom that refused to unite, and insisted that the girls be sent to Auradon prep, and so they went–reluctant as could be. Everything was fine, mostly–the other princesses looked down on Nimue’s love of swordfighting, and Avalon was never seen as anything but a villain kid, but they still had each other. They could tolerate it all, biding their time. But at sixteen years of age, everything they’d ever planned gets thrown for a loop when it’s declared that four children from the Isle would be moving to Auradon.

Nimue belongs to @seaweedhufflepuffocs

Name: Beatrice

Story: Ever Just As Sure (As The Sun Will Rise)

Parents: The Beast & The Enchantress

Faceclaim: Taissa Farmiga

Summary: If King Adam had known the price of banishing magic from Auradon, he might have reconsidered. But the former Beast was a stubborn man who refused to heed any warnings, and it had backfired. He hadn’t known that banishing all magic would rip the last remains of the Enchantress’ curse from his veins, hadn’t known that the magic would redirect itself into the Enchantress, and he certainly hadn’t known that it would lead to the immediate birth of his firstborn child. But it had. And while he had no qualms about sending the Enchantress to the Isle, the queen had refused to send her stepdaughter, and so Princess Beatrice had been raised in Auradon alongside her younger brother. She knew the truth about her birth, and she knew that her father hated her with every fibre of his being, but she didn’t care. What she did care about was Ben’s decision to bring children from the Isle to Auradon - children that could have been her, had Belle not stepped in - and proving to her father, once and for all, that her generation is something more than just the children of heroes and villains, that they can be their own people and make their own choices. And maybe the children of the four baddest villains are the perfect people to help her with that plan.

Name: Bessie Sawyer

Story: Untitled

Parents: Becky Thatcher & Tom Sawyer

Face claim: Saorise Ronan

Name: Blossom

Story: Faith, Trust (And A Little Pixie Dust)

Parents: N/A

Faceclaim: Bailee Madison

Love Interest: Ben

Summary: When a baby laughs for the first time, a new fairy is born. When Prince Benjamin Florian laughed for the first time, Blossom was born. From that day forth, the prince and his fairy were inseparable. The citizens of Auradon always said that their rulers had given them both a prince and a princess when Ben was born, and Blossom was beloved by the kingdom. But when Ben brings four villain children to Auradon, Blossom is afraid. Afraid for her kingdom, afraid for her safety, and afraid for her prince. She is Ben’s fairy, she has to protect him at all costs; she has to do whatever it takes to make sure that Ben’s first action as king is a success, even if it means saving the VKs from themselves. Even if it means breaking her own heart.

Name: Callista Gainey

Story: Untitled

Parents: Cassandra

Face claim: Lulu Antariksa

Name: Chessy Of Arendelle

Story: All Is Found

Parents: Redacted / Anna & Kristoff

Face claim: Mackenzie Foy

Love Interest: Ben

Summary: Chessy of Arendelle had never once doubted how loved she was. She knew how much her parents loved her, the newborn infant they’d found miraculously still alive in the snow outside of their castle. They’d chosen her, had brought her home and raised her as their own, the crown princess of Arendelle. Her aunt loved her, her kingdom loved her, and her best friend, Crown Prince Ben of Auradon loved her. That was enough for her. That was more than enough for her. But… the mystery. Not knowing who she was, where she came from. The answers that seemed to slip further out of reach every time she thought she’d come close to understanding. Chessy didn’t need a family that hadn’t wanted her, she didn’t need to be anyone more than who she already was. But she did need to know who she could have been.

Name: Chiara Potts

Story: Certain As The Sun (Rising In The East)

Parents: Chip Potts & Redacted

Faceclaim: Danielle Rose Russell

Love Interest: Ben & Evie

Summary: Chiara Potts is as far from a princess as you can get - well, unless you ask Cinderella. She’s the daughter of a servant, and the granddaughter of a servant. And she herself is a servant. Granted, they don’t call her that, but Chiara is only the latest in the long line of Potts’ to serve the royal family. Still, despite being his chief of staff and majordomo, Ben is her best friend. And yes, maybe her job is the reason that they’re inseparable, but they still are. So of course, Chiara is the first person to know about his plans to bring Villain Kids to Auradon. She’s also the first person to defend his idea, and the person that he asks to help them settle in. But when Chiara overhears their plans, she has to decide - will she try to change their minds and prove Ben right to all of Auradon, or will she have to go against him - and what will that cost her?

Name: Chryseis

Story: We Could Be Immortals (Just Not For Long)

Parents: Poseison

Faceclaim: Holland Roden

Summary: Poseidon isn’t a hero. He’s a god, yes, but not a hero. His granddaughter Ariel is a hero, his nephew Hercules is a hero, but Poseidon is not a hero. So no one is really sure why his youngest daughter has just started at Auradon Prep, only days after Ben announced the impending arrival of four villain kids. But Chryseis knows. Mal, daughter of Maleficent, is also the daughter of Hades, and the Olympians are afraid. And Chryseis, only sixteen and still learning to be a goddess, is the only person who can find out her intentions, the only person who can stop her from potentially destroying Olympus.

Name: Cian Hearts

Story: Lavender Haze

Parents: Queen Of Hearts

Face claim: Gavin Leatherwood

Love Interest: Violet Kingsleigh

Summary: Cian Hearts didn’t hate Auradon. No, to hate Auradon would suggest that he cared, and he didn’t. He cared about surviving, about maintaining his mother’s territory and protecting his people, not about Auradon. Nor, to his mother’s displeasure, about Wonderland. Neither would help him live to see another day, so neither warranted a second thought on his part. Or so he believed, until he received an invitation – a royal summons, if you asked him – to attend Auradon Prep along with four others from the isle. With no real say in the matter, Cian packs up his life and crosses the barrier, determined to keep his head down – and attached to his neck – until Prince Ben gave up on his foolish plan. Unfortunately, the king-to-be forgot to mention that they would be starting school with one more transfer student: Violet Kingsleigh, heir to Wonderland and daughter of his mother’s sworn nemesis.

Name: Cosette Bellefleur

Series: Lust For Life

Story: Darling, Darling; Doll Face; Cherry

Parents: Claudette Bellefleur

Face claim: Lily Rose Depp

Love Interest: Gaston; Prince Ben; Prince Chad; Henry Turner

Summary: On the Isle Of The Lost, survival was a simple matter of strength and power. Cosette Bellefleur knew that she would never have the strength, so instead she focused on the power. Sharpening her own skillset, Cosette earned herself the protection of the strongest of the strong: Gaston. And while she may have had her flirtations and her flings, at the end of the day, Cosette belonged to Gaston, and his strength belonged to her. It was the perfect system.

But when Prince Ben, soon to be King Ben, makes his first royal proclamation, everything changes. In a fit of what he undoubtedly considered fairytale-level kindness, five children of villains would be brought to Auradon, and Cosette would be one of them. It made sense, of course, but that didn’t make it any less unpleasant for her. Ripped away from her friends and lovers, from her home, and from her protector, Cosette would have no one to rely on but Mal’s crew, and there was certainly no lost love there.

But when her unwilling allies need a way to get close to the prince, Cosette may just find a way to ensure their loyalty and secure herself a new protector all in one fell swoop.

Name: Eliane

Story: Into The Unknown

Parents: Redacted

Face claim: Abigail Cowen

Love Interest: Harry Hook

Name: Elise Charming

Story: Enchanted

Parents: Prince Charming & Cinderella

Face claim: Sabrina Carpenter

Love interest: Evie; Ben & Evie

Summary: Princess Elizabeth Victoria Isabelle Katherine Grace Regina Alexandria James – more affectionately known as Elise Charming – had been raised on one simple lesson. Have courage and be kind. And for sixteen years, she had lived by those words. Alongside her twin brother Chad and their best friends Ben and Audrey, Elise had been picture perfect royalty. The four of them were perfectly sweet, perfectly charming, perfectly… well, perfectly perfect. But when Ben, weeks away from his coronation, decides to bring over four Villain Kids from the Isle of the Lost, their perfect group falls apart. Elise is sure that they can get through it, that they can hold their heads high and rebuild their perfect friendship, and that everything will be okay. And then the Villain Kids arrive in Auradon, and the most beautiful girl in the world steps out of the limousine.

Name: Evander Grimhilde

Story: Untitled

Parents: Evil Queen & King Richard

Face claim: Taylor Zakhar Perez

Love interest: Topher Charming

Summary: Evander Grimhilde was highly aware of the fact that his life was not normal, even for the isle of the lost. Mostly, he knew, it was because he was the first child born on the Isle. The blueprint, the model, the test subject. He was born before the villains had the idea to use their children as soldiers to defend their turf, before they decided that survival and gaining power was more important than planning for getting off the Isle. No, where his kids — and they were; every child on the Isle was his. His to protect, his to raise, his to love the way their parents never were — were raised to be their parents’ henchmen, Evander was raised to be king. He learned history and finances, potions alongside politics, everything there was to know about the United Kingdom of Auradon and every kingdom within it. Evander was as qualified to be a king as anyone could hope to be, except for one teensy tiny little detail: he still lived on the Isle.

At least until Prince Ben turned 16 and made his very first proclamation as king — to bring five children from the Isle to Auradon. His sister, her crew, and Evander himself. With his kingdom finally within reach, Evander’s destiny is finally within his reach. The only problem is that Evander isn’t actually sure if he wants his destiny; especially once he meets Topher Charming.

Name: Finley Rider

Story: Stolen Heart

Parents: Rapunzel and Flynn Rider

Face claim: Virginia Gardner

Love interest: past Ben; Jay; eventual Ben & Jay

Summary: Finley Rider – Princess Finley Fitzherbert – was all set to live a fairytale life. She was the heir to the throne of Corona, her parents’ pride and joy, and betrothed to her best friend, Prince Benjamin. But when a ten year old Finley gets bored at a museum gala and decides to see how many artifacts she can lift without getting noticed, everything changes. When the Beast King catches her stealing Jafar’s staff, he loses his temper. The child is sent to the Isle, Corona breaks ties with Auradon, and Ben loses his best friend.

On her first day on the Isle, Finley gets caught stealing a bracelet off of Lady Tremaine. But rather than tell the woman, the boy introduces himself as Jay, son of Jafar, and offers Finley a partnership. Their alliance soon grows into a friendship, and Jay introduces Finley to the other VKs, bringing her into their team. The five of them rule the island with ease, causing trouble wherever they go. It isn’t perfect, but Finley has learned to move on from Corona, and from Auradon. So of course, that’s when Prince Ben makes his first royal proclamation; bringing children of the Isle to Auradon. The daughter of Maleficent, the son of Jafar, the daughter of the Evil Queen, and the son of Cruella De Vil. And the princess of Corona.

Name: Fraser Fitzherbret / Fitz Rider

Story: Stolen Heart

Parents: Rapunzel and Flynn Rider

Face claim: Matt Cornett

Love interest: Harry Hook; TBD

Name: Gloria Gothel

Story: Mother Knows Best

Parents: Mother Gothel

Face claim: Melissa Barrera

Summary: Gloria Gothel didn’t care about politics. Not on the isle, not in Auradon. She didn’t care about running the biggest turf, about having the strongest crew, she only cared about survival. She had gotten it wrong once, had made the rookie mistake of getting attached to other people, of caring about something beyond covering her own ass, but it was a mistake that she would never make again. But when an invitation comes for her to go to Auradon along with Maleficent’s daughter and her crew, Gloria finds herself at a crossroads. Once again she has a choice to make, between looking out for her own self interest or taking care of the family she’d never meant to find.

Name: Griffin

Story: Untitled

Parents: Grumpy

Face claim: Joshua Bassett

Name: Halle Finn

Story: Untitled

Parents: Huckleberry Finn

Face claim: Kathryn Newton

Name: Hannah Westergaard

Story: Don’t Blame Me

Parents: Hans Westergaard

Face claim: Kat McNamara

Summary: As far as children of the Isle went, Hannah Westergaard was pretty standard. Abusive father, no known mother, and no special talents of abilities whatsoever. As much as she hates to admit it, she’s boring by the Isle’s standards, so why on earth is Prince Ben inviting her to Auradon? And more importantly, why does it seem like maybe she isn’t quite as boring as she’s been lead to believe?

Name: Harley Hook

Story: Lost Girl

Parents: Captain Hook

Face claim: India Eisley

Love interest: Jay; possible endgame Jay & Gil

Summary: Harley Hook was a pirate, through and through. Always at her brother’s side, always with Uma and the crew, always near her beloved Gil, Harley Hook was a pirate. And as a pirate, she absolutely hated Mal’s gang. They thought that they were so much better than anyone, just because of Mal’s mom - big whoop, it’s not like Maleficent could even use magic on the Isle. So yeah, Harley hated the VKs, her loyalty was to the crew, and she was never seen away from Harry or Gil. And then the princeling decides to bring children of some of the worst villains to Auradon: Mal, Evie, Jay, Carlos. And Harley. Harley couldn’t be more furious at being taken away from her crew, or at being sent to Auradon, or at being forced to work with the VKs to get Fairy Godmother’s wand. But she knows that if she wants to get back to the Isle, back to her family, she needs that barrier down as much as they do. She’s just not sure that they can cooperate long enough for that.

Name: Harmony Of Atlantica

Story: Carved Out Of The Sea

Parents: Ariel & Prince Eric

Face claim: Kaya Scodelario

Love interest: Harry Hook

Summary: Princess Harmony was a youngest child’s youngest child, she knew that she would never be anything special. Her mom was Ariel, and her sister Melody had united their parents’ kingdoms. Harmony was nothing in comparison. So Harmony went on her own adventures, swimming as far as she could and discovering the wonders of the world outside of Atlantis. She’d heard of the Isle of the Lost of course, everyone had, but she never planned on finding it. She never planned on swimming through the barrier, or on finding out that she would no longer be able to turn into a mermaid when she did, or on never being able to swim back across. And so, Harmony grew up on the Isle along with the children of the villains. She befriended pirates and princesses and everything in between, and she almost forgot about life in Atlantis. And then the future king summons four of the children of the Isle to Auradon, and Harmony knows that she has to seize her only chance at returning to her home, even if it means leaving behind her partner - in crime and in love - Harry Hook.

Name: Hayden

Story: Dying Is An Art

Parents: Hades & Maleficent

Face claim: Jenny Boyd

Summary: Hayden was raised by Hades, knowing full well who her mother - and sister - was. But Mal doesn’t know about her. So for most of her life, Hayden hid. She hid away in her dad’s cave and had very few friends. And then Prince Ben summons five Villain Kids to Auradon - the son of Jafar, the son of Cruella De Vil, the daughter of the Evil Queen, the daughter of Maleficent, and the daughter of Hades. But only Hayden knows the truth. And now she has to keep her secret, and try to stop her sister and her friends from stealing the wand, but she might have to choose between her two missions.

Name: Helena

Story: Long Live the Queen

Parents: Hades & Persephone

Face claim: Teagan Croft

Love interest: Queenie Hearts

Summary: Living on the Isle wasn’t easy, but there was something particularly difficult about it for a goddess. Her dad couldn’t be kept on the Isle–they’d tried, no one died anymore, he was allowed to return to the Underworld. But when Helena was born, she was cast away to join the rest of the Villains and their children, forced to fend for herself. Being a goddess had its advantages too, she was able to survive and rise up with no problem. Soon she was the right hand to the newest queen, and hell would freeze before she let anyone take that away from them.

Name: Hero

Story: Untitled

Parents: Hercules & Megara

Face claim: Rachel Zegler

Name: Honey La Bouff

Story: Impossible Dreams

AO3 | Wattpad

Parents: Lottie LaBouff

Face claim: Meg Donnelly

Love interest: Ben & Chad

Summary: As if being raised by a single mother, with a father who passed away before she was born, didn’t make her enough of an oddity, Honey La Bouff was one of the only students at Auradon Prep who wasn’t the child of a prince, princess, or hero. But despite being looked down on by most of the student body, Honey was best friends with the two most popular boys in school; Prince Ben and Chad Charming. Honey and Chad had always seen it as their responsibility to look out for their more naïve best friend, and when Ben decides to bring five Villain Kids to Auradon – a decision that both Honey and Chad had been pushing for since they were still in their single digits – they know they’ll have their work cut out for them. But, all things considered, the VKs seem to be adapting well, and Honey is excited to have them in Auradon. Or she was, until she takes an extremely suspicious cookie away from Ben and finds herself the victim of a long since forbidden magical roofie.

Name: Princess Isabelle

Story: Tale As Old As Time

Parents: Belle & The Beast

Face claim: Danielle Campbell

Love interest: Audrey

Summary: By all rights, Princess Isabelle should be next in line for the throne of Auradon. She was the firstborn child of the king, after all, and much more politically minded than her twin brother. But her father, beast that he was, had no intention of ever letting her take her rightful place as queen. But Belle is her mother’s daughter, and has no intentions of giving up, she just needs a new plan. And then Ben decides to bring children of the Isle to Auradon, and Isabelle finds herself in the perfect position to get exactly what she’s always wanted. If only she can go through with it.

Name: Isadora Darling

Story: Second Star To The Right

Parents: Jane Darling

Face claim: Olivia Holt

Love Interest: Harry Hook

Name: Kate Turner

Story: Untitled

Parents: Elizabeth Swann & Will Turner

Face claim: Grace Van Dien

Name: Keto Jones

Story: Daughter Of Death

Parents: Davy Jones

Face claim: Natalie Alyn Lind

Love Interest: Harry Hook

Name: Krystal Of Arendelle

Story: More Than Just The Spare

Parents: Anna & Kristoff

Face claim: Willow Shields

Name: Princess Kyra

Story: Ties That Bind

Parents: Jasmine & Aladdin

Face claim: Naomi Scott

Love Interest: Jay

#masterlist #descendants oc

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hookedonapirate · 2 years ago

Text

Lady Cassidy's Lover

Summary: 1919 England, Emma Cassidy, wife of a baronet, finds herself trapped in a loveless marriage after the war leaves her husband, Neal, paralyzed from the waist down and unable to produce an heir.

Despite the obstacles, she sticks by her husband's side at Goldby Hall, his family's estate, but when she meets former army lieutenant and Neal's aloof gamekeeper, Killian Jones, she feels curiously drawn to his distant blue eyes and quiet demeanor.

At first, she seeks him out for reprieve from her soulless, mundane existence at Goldby Hall, but what starts out as purely physical quickly turns into more than either of them expects.

But Emma is a baronetess, wife of an aristocrat and Killian is a working class servant. Their love affair is frowned upon, and she risks losing her title, her wealth and her position in the world by being with him. But she is determined to get her happy ending with the man she loves. Even if it means losing everything else in the process.

A/N: Despite Emma's last name and marriage to Neal, this NOT a swanfire fic! This definitely ends with Captain Swan so if you're expecting swanfire, this is not for you.

This is the Lady Chatterley's Lover au no one asked for. I had never read the novel but when I watched the newest movie adaptation (there are 4 that I know of), I simply had to write this for CS even though I already have a mountain of wips in my doc. This fic will mostly be following the 1981 and 2022 versions. If you haven't watched the 2022 version, I highly recommend it, if no other reason than to watch Jack O'Connell.

This fic deals with mature themes (some of which the book was banned for back when it was written), adultery, postwar, language, smut.

Hope you enjoy!

Catch up: Ch 1 I Ch 2 I Ch 3 I Ch 4 I Ch 5 I Ch 6 I Ch 7 I Ch 8 I Ch 9 I Ch 10 I Ch 11 I Ch 12 I Epilogue

We've got to live, no matter how many skies have fallen—D. H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley's Lover

Chapter One

Emma releases a heavy sigh as she slumps down onto the sofa, relieved the ceremony is over with. If only the day were done too, so she wouldn't have to be subjected to dancing and all the other useless traditions of a wedding reception. Now she has to listen to dreadful toasts and her and Neal's family drone on about how perfect she and her new doting husband are together.

"So, how does it feel?" One by one, her sister, Mary Margaret unbuckles Emma's shoes and pulls them off her tired feet.

Emma shakes her head. "I don't know. Ask me tomorrow." Perhaps then she'll feel differently about exchanging vows with a man she barely knows.

She and Neal had met and courted shortly before he was shipped off to war, and during his leave, he had confessed he'd hated being without her and asked her to marry him. She had said yes and they were quick to get married before he returns to the front. Their fathers may have had a hand in rushing things along as well. Britain declared war with Germany three years ago, heightening Sir Rumpelstiltskin's long-held desire to see his only son marry and produce heirs to their fortune.

Emma's father, Sir Leopold, wants her to have a stable husband, and who better than a man with a hereditary rank and title? She and Mary Margaret were raised in Kensington by Sir Leopold, a royal academician and their mother, Eva, a well-educated socialist, and had what one might call an aesthetically unorthodox childhood. They had been taken to Paris, Florence and Rome to breathe in art, and to the Hague and Berlin for socialist conventions where the speakers spoke in every civilized tongue.

Emma comes from wealth and Neal from aristocracy, so some could say it's the perfect match, except for the fact she has not known him long enough to truly love him. But from her perspective, this marriage is the perfect arrangement. The perfect way to get her father off her back about finding a suitable husband like her sister's. Furthermore, she does not have to worry about getting hurt by someone she does not love. She has experienced what it's like to lose someone she loves. She lost her mother ten years ago to illness and had to witness her father almost become a shell of a man without her. Emma made up her mind long ago she would never give her heart to a man. She would never submit to him emotionally.

She has been with men before, of course, but none she had loved.

A man is like a child, and if he doesn't get what he wants, he whines and fusses, exposing an unpleasant side of himself. But a woman can yield to a man without yielding her inner, free self. A woman can take a man without truly giving herself away. Certainly, she can take him without giving herself into his power. Rather, she can wield the power over him.

"You need to eat something."

"I need to get out of this dress first." She doesn't quite care for the high-waisted empire line, the tiered skirt made of dreadful lace or the sleeves that fall to her elbows. It reminds her of a tablecloth rather than a dress. Don't get her started on the extravagantly large bouquet of flowers that nearly touched the ground when she held it. And she'd tossed away the Juliet veil as soon as she had returned to the bridal suite.

Mary Margaret agrees as she takes her hand and pulls her up, helping Emma out of her wedding gown and into a simpler dress for the reception.

"How do I look?" Emma asks once she's in it, twirling around in the green dress to give her sister the full effect.

Mary Margaret smirks. "Well, I doubt Neal will want to stay long at the reception."

Emma's cheeks warm as she stands in front of the mirror and removes her earrings, replacing them with emerald ones that will match her dress. She and Neal have not even had sex yet, so tonight will be their first time. "You don't think his mother would've approved?" Neal's mother was the daughter of a viscount before she died.

"Well, I'm not entirely sure I do."

Emma rolls her eyes at her sister as she recoats her lips in red lipstick. "Are we talking about the dress...or the wedding?" Not everyone can find their prince charming as she did. Mary Margaret's marriage to David was definitely not forced or rushed. They are true love, as she always likes to boast. "We had to marry quickly before he returns to the front in the morning."

"Yes, but couldn't you have just had sex with him instead of marrying him?"

Emma laughs. "Mary Margaret! Be serious." She studies herself in the mirror, turning and running her hand over her dress, deciding to leave her blonde hair braided into a crown atop her head. She looks like herself, but somehow different now that she's married. She had honestly never thought this day would come.

"I am. It's much less commitment, and it's all Neal will want anyway."

"Neal's not like that. He's kind and thoughtful. He makes me feel safe."

"You mean safe from getting hurt?"

Emma looks up to see Mary Margaret's reflection in the mirror as the brunette narrows her eyes. But Emma knows she can't lie to her sister. Mary Margaret would see right through her. Emma stands and turns around to face her. "Precisely."

Mary Margaret places her hands on Emma's shoulders. "See, that's just it. If you never open that heart of yours up to anyone, you'll grow old and gray without ever experiencing the wonderful things life has to offer."

"I do experience the wonderful things life has to offer." Not that sex is really that wonderful. It has always been merely a way to let off some steam.

Mary Margaret tilts her head. "I'm not talking about sex. I'm talking about love."

The clearing of a throat interrupts their conversation when Neal steps into the room with a tray of three wine glasses. "I brought reinforcements."

The two women blush when they realize he must have heard the tail end of their conversation.

Mary Margaret goes over to Neal and grabs one of the glasses, taking a sip. "You read my mind."

"I nearly drank yours on the way up," he tells her, chuckling as he hands one to Emma and takes the other one for himself. Setting down the tray, he clinks his and Emma's glasses together. "Cheers."

"Cheers." Emma smiles at her new husband and takes a sip.

"Our fathers are preparing their toasts."

Emma groans, not looking forward to going downstairs. "Can we face them together?"

"Of course." He smiles at her, and she has to admit, Neal is not the worst man she could've chosen for a husband. He's handsome and charming, his eyes crinkling at the corners when he smiles. She can tell he cares for her. "You look beautiful, Ems."

She offers a smile in return. "Thanks."

After they finish their wine, she takes his offered hand, allowing him to lead her downstairs, where their fathers give speeches and announce their hope for a new heir to Goldby.

~*~

Two years later

Dearest Mary Margaret,

I knew the war would change us all, I just didn't know how much. It feels as though it ended half a lifetime ago, not half a year. Neal and I have already moved away from London, and we've just arrived at Goldby, his family estate. Once we get settled in, I expect to write to you often.

Your loving sister,

Emma

Lady Cassidy gazes vacantly through the window as the motor-car winds through the park of oak trees. The sky is about as gray and murky as the future, for who knows what tragedies it may hold. Clouds of smoke rise from the chimney of the pit in the distance where Misthaven village struggles to stay afloat beyond the park gates.

The car pulls up in front of the eighteenth century home made of brown stone that sits on the top of a knoll, overlooking the park. This is her new home in the smoky Midlands where she and Neal will finally begin their married life at Goldby Hall, the family seat. His father had died of heart failure, and Neal is now baronet. But he claims his father died of chagrin since he and Emma are without a child. And they most likely will be childless forever. Not only did they never get the chance to consummate their marriage the night of their honeymoon since she had been too exhausted and he had been too anxious about returning to war, they never will.

The chauffeur opens Emma's car door and grabs her luggage.

"Thank you." She steps out, taking in her new home. This place is nothing like her childhood house in London. Goldby certainly needs a lot of work.

The housekeeper, Mrs. Potts, who worked for Rumpelstiltskin, approaches with her husband to greet them. "Welcome, Sir Neal. We've been praying for you."

Mr. Potts helps him out of the car, picking him up and placing him into his wheelchair. An explosion during the war left Neal paralyzed from the waist down, and the doctor said he may never be able to walk again.

Emma tries not to think about that, however. She tries not to think about how she may never get pregnant or be able to give birth to a child as long as she's with Neal. She will never get to raise children or watch them grow up and run around the park at Goldby. She can't think of herself anymore though. She is married to a baronet, whom she vowed to have and to hold, for better and for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health until they are parted by death. After he returned from war, he told her he could never lose her, and she promised he never would.

She will spend the rest of her life keeping that promise.

"Mr. and Mrs. Potts, this is my wife, the new Lady Cassidy."

Mrs. Potts turns around to greet her with a curtsy. "It's so nice to meet you, milady."

Emma smiles, bows her head and steps toward her. "Nice to meet you."

Neal wheels himself over to his wife, and the four of them avert their attention to the worn-looking house towering over them. "There's plenty of work to be done," Neal comments. "Hire back all the workers we can, Mrs. Potts. Old girl's seen better days."

Emma places a hand on the back of his chair and tries to be optimistic. "We'll bring her back to life."

~*~

"Killian Jones." Sir Neal looks up from the application in his hand from where he sits at the other side of the desk. "You, uh, worked for my father before the war?"

"Aye, sir. For two years." When he returned, he heard Rumpelstiltskin had passed and that Neal would be taking over and hiring new staff.

"And you were an army lieutenant?"

Killian nods. "I was very sorry to hear about your father. My condolences, sir." He wishes he could say Sir Rumpelstiltskin was a good man, but that would be a lie. He was ridiculous, chopping down trees in the forest and weeding men out of his colliery to shove them into the war while he, himself, was a coward who stayed safe at home and buried his country in heaps of debt while claiming to be patriotic.

"Thank you." Neal looks at him skeptically. "Do you honestly believe returning to gamekeeping will be satisfying after your time as an officer?"

Killian shrugs, his fingers drumming along his wool cap. If he could, he would leave. Every night, he dreams of escaping to a new place where a new voice says his name with warmth, where eyes filled with love look at him instead of ones filled with hatred and betrayal, where he is not dismissed. There is no freedom here, there never will be. Milah doesn't love him, but nevertheless she holds him close. One more possession.

"Bit of quiet would do me good. I've seen enough of what war does to men." Not only had he seen men brutally die in battle, but his brother had been one of them. Every day, he tries to push away the horrific images that have plagued him since the war. Every day he tries to forget. About the war, about her. Being a gamekeeper, tending to the animals, breeding them, enjoying the quiet of the forest while protecting it will be therapeutic for him.

"Hmm. As have I." Sir Neal has learned firsthand what war can do to men. He himself was paralyzed from the waist down.

Rumors about his injury had spread before Neal came to Goldby.

Neal sets the application down and joins his hands on the desk. "Very well then. Welcome back, Mr. Jones."

"Thank you, Sir." Killian turns around and heads out of Neal's study, moving past the long line of men seeking employment. He was lucky the baronet had hired him so quickly, and he is grateful. Killian receives a monthly war pension, but since he and Milah are still legally married, she's entitled to half of it. So now he is stuck in Misthaven, barely skimming by to make ends meet while Milah prances around with various menfolk of the village, spending the money he had earned by going to battle and risking his life.

Now he spends restless, lonely nights in his cottage, thinking about his brother and the war and everyone else he has lost.

But at least he has Jolly to keep him company.

He returns home to his cottage, where she's waiting for him at the door. His lips crack into a big smile when he sees her. "There's my good lass." He kneels down to ruffle a hand through her fur as she yaps, wagging her tail excitedly.

She truly is a good dog and the best companion he could hope for. She's loyal and trustworthy and always appreciates his affections, unlike his wife who betrayed him to be with other men.

After everything that's happened, Jolly is the one good thing in his life.

All he has left.

#cs ff #captain swan #lady chatterley's lover au #based on a novel

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lothiriel84 · 9 months ago

Text

No Thoughts of Matrimony at Present

She would always come first in his affections, just as he would in hers, and to Emma that mattered far more than any passionate declaration of feelings ever could.

A Emma ficlet. Aromantic!Emma, arospec!Knightley.

At sixteen, George Knightley was everything a young gentleman ought to be; his father was exceedingly proud of both his manners and his moderation, and although he had thought it prudent to have a frank conversation with his son pertaining the basics of such things as intercourse and the proper way to go about satisfying one’s needs without compromising one’s honour – and more importantly, the reputation of any young lady of good manners and breeding – there had been very little occasion for concern on that front so far, as young George displayed a singular lack of interest in the feminine charms.

Not that George himself was aware of being at all unusual in that regard; growing up with not one, but two examples of marital felicity to look up to – their neighbours, the Woodhouses, had only just welcomed the happy arrival of their second daughter, a charming infant with golden curls and a most cheerful disposition – he was naturally inclined to believe he would follow their example in due course, and settle with a wife and children of his own.

As his father was wont to say, love was the greatest gift of all, and one that could hardly be explained or understood until it was experienced firsthand. George, for his part, was in no hurry to uncover the mystery for himself; he would find out when the time was right, and until then, he would devote his time to improving himself and learning the management of the estate he was to inherit in the – hopefully quite distant – future.

No one, not even Mr Woodhouse himself, was as astonished as young Emma when her sister Isabella announced her firm intention to accept the position as the new Mrs John Knightley.

At fourteen, Emma was all but convinced love was nothing but an inconvenience, and one to be avoided at all costs. In that, she was fully supported by her father, who could scarcely bear the prospect of being parted from one of his daughters, and in so permanent a manner as the marriage to a London-based lawyer would certainly entail.

However, the wedding itself made such an impression on Emma as to rekindle her childhood inclination for romantic flights of fancy; and no sooner had Isabella removed from Hartfield and settled in Brunswick Square that her younger sister began indulging in her matchmaking fantasies of old.

As Miss Taylor was soon to discover, there was no competing for Emma’s attention when her mind was occupied in planning the most outrageous matches between every unmarried man and woman in Highbury. Singularly enough, she herself was never the object of such imaginings; and while many a girl her age spent hours picturing their future as brides-to-be, she was perfectly content to marry off everyone else in her stead.

Mr Knightley had been aware of his brother’s intentions pertaining a certain sweet-tempered neighbour of theirs for quite a long time, and consequently was not at all surprised when the engagement was finally announced. In all conscience, he could not but approve of John’s choice of wife; Isabella Woodhouse was everything that was charming, and there had even been a time when the expectations of their respective families had prompted him to consider such a union for himself – but that was before his brother’s partiality had begun to show, and even then, he had found it exceedingly hard to picture Miss Woodhouse as the companion of his future life.

At thirty years of age, George felt no closer to penetrating the mysteries of love than he had at sixteen. He had watched his younger brother’s developing attachment for their friend and neighbour with considerable interest, and although he was no stranger to John’s ardent professions of affection for the lady in question, he was still uncertain as to the exact nature of such a preoccupation.

John had called him a prude when he had walked in on one of their secret rendezvous in the shrubbery, and it had taken every bit of the command he had over himself not to blush like a schoolboy at Miss Woodhouse’s futile attempts to fix her mussed dress and hair. He had, of course, scolded his brother in a most thorough manner, and reminded him of the conduct expected of him as a gentleman; John had sat through it with great forbearance yet very little contrition, and regaled him with a parting shot that would come back to torment him for years to come.

Just because you have never been in love, George, it does not give you the right to stand in the way of everyone else’s happiness.

Perhaps his brother was right – he was not capable of love, and therefore doomed to spend the rest of his days as a bachelor, handing over the burden of producing an heir for his estate to John and Isabella.

He could not say he entirely minded the prospect, so long as he was allowed the comfort of his frequent visits to Hartfield, and watching over little Emma as she blossomed into the delightful young woman he knew she would be one day.

As much as she rejoiced in the resounding success of her matchmaking endeavours, Emma could not refrain from expressing some doubts as to the precise nature of her dear Miss Taylor’s regard for Mr Weston.

“I know he is a very respectable gentleman, and still quite handsome – but love is quite something else, I should think.”

So used was Miss Taylor to her impertinence that she only gave her an indulgent smile, and patted her arm most affectionately. “Emma, dear, you are quite young still. I daresay you have never been in love, but there will soon come a time when that will change, and then you will understand.”

In all truth, Emma was most dissatisfied with such an extraordinary pronouncement; but she was determined not to impose upon her dear friend’s happiness any more than she already had, and there were more pressing matters she ought to attend to, such as persuading her father that Miss Taylor’s impending removal to Randalls was not the catastrophic event he was making it out to be.

This would be the last marriage Hartfield would see for a very long time, at least until her nephews and nieces were all grown up. As for herself, she had no intention to ever marry – that was one of the advantages for a woman in her position, for she could well remain a spinster without any concern of ever finding herself in reduced circumstances, such as Miss Bates’.

For the life of him, Mr Knightley could not pinpoint the reasons that had prompted him to remark upon the entirely hypothetical figure of a future Mrs Knightley. All that he knew was that his old friend Mrs Weston seemed to consider Jane Fairfax, of all women, as a worthy candidate for the position; she was entirely mistaken, of course, but nothing he said or did could serve to dissuade her from the notion.

It had taken young Frank Churchill’s outrageous attentions to his dear Emma for him to finally realise the state of his own heart. Somewhere along the way, his brotherly affection for his dearest friend and neighbour had changed into something different; something he would never have ascribed to the ever-elusive concept of a romantic attachment, had he not been faced with the unwelcome prospect of losing her to another man. And even then, he would not have minded it so much, had the gentleman in question been worthy of her regard; the idea of losing Emma to such a silly fop as Mr Churchill was all but intolerable, and judging by his visceral reaction to the whole Box Hill debacle, he would do better to remove from her society sooner rather than later.

He wished her every joy, of course; and to Frank Churchill, that he would endeavour to make her as happy as she deserved to be. As for himself, he would never marry, thus securing Emma’s dearest wish for their nephew Henry to inherit Donwell.

In all her one and twenty years, Emma had never felt as foolish as when Mrs Weston had broken the news of a secret engagement between Frank Churchill and Jane Fairfax. It was not that she was disappointed for herself – her brief enjoyment of Mr Churchill’s marked attentions had faded away long ago, and in all truth, she could see now that she would never have fancied herself in love with him, if not for the expectations of her closest acquaintances. However, it was yet more proof that for all her professed matchmaking skills, she understood very little of the workings of other people’s hearts, let alone her own.

All her life, she had taken for granted her being the first in Mr Knightley’s regard, to the point that she had been blinded to the possibility of ever losing him to some other woman – someone worthier of his affections, such as she herself could never be. Even now she suspected a disappointment of the heart as the reason for his sudden removal to London; and for all that she wished him every happiness, she did not know how she was going to bear it, should he overcome his doubts and set his sights on Harriet Smith as the new Mrs Knightley.

Once more, she wondered how Jane Fairfax had borne the torment of seeing another woman as the object of the ostensible attentions of one who had already pledged himself to her. Mr Knightley, of course, had made no such promise to her; he was free to love where he chose, while Emma would have to make do with her prior resolve to remain unmarried.

If there was a thing Mr Knightley could be certain of, it was that Robert Martin knew what it was to love. His regard for Harriet Smith had never abated despite her unjustified refusal; if anything, it had only grown, and it was with the utmost relief that Mr Knightley welcomed the news of Miss Smith’s much overdue acceptance of Mr Martin’s renewed proposals.

Oh, he had been furious over Emma’s interference, well-meant as she had intended it to be. But it was all in the past now, and as they were soon to join the Martins in the married state, he was inclined not to dwell overmuch on his intended’s former lapses in judgement.

There would be a Mrs Knightley of Donwell Abbey, after all – though they would both remain at Hartfield for as long as was necessary. And although he could not say he had given much thought to the practicalities of their marriage, he felt sure they would soon welcome the addition of several Knightley children of their own.

He had a vague notion that his regard for Emma was not quite the same as John’s for Isabella; his nature, he supposed, did not lend itself to the transports he remembered from their courtship, but he knew he felt for her as he never had for any woman – as he was certain he could never feel for another.

Miss Emma Woodhouse had ceased to exist; in her place now stood Mrs George Knightley, mistress of two domains, and as radiant a bride as had ever been seen. Her delight in having her darling Mr Knightley permanently at her disposal was only rivalled by her enjoyment of their not infrequent yet charmingly lively quarrels, which often ended in such a manner as she could never have imagined as an unmarried woman.

Although matrimony had brought several changes in her situation, the fundamentals remained the same as they had always been. Mr Knightley was still her dearest friend and closest confidant; he would not refrain from scolding her when he thought it right, just as she remained as vexing as she had ever been, and they were both perfectly pleased with it. She would always come first in his affections, just as he would in hers, and to Emma that mattered far more than any passionate declaration of feelings ever could.

On their wedding night, when he had taken her to his bed and made her his wife in every particular, she had been overcome with an excess of emotion, and felt compelled to confess herself as much in love with him as she could ever be. It was nothing but the truth, though not in the way that was commonly accepted, and at that moment she knew what she felt in the way of regard for her husband was no less beautiful than what was generally praised as the strongest of attachments between two lovers.

He was her dear Mr Knightley, and she was his most beloved Emma.

That was all.

#Emma (Jane Austen)#George Knightley #Emma Woodhouse #arospec character #aromantic character #Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week #I wrote a thing

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whimsicallyenchantedrose · 24 days ago

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At the Dawn There is Rejoicing--a birthday gift for @kmomof4 (Chapter 5)

Word Count: 3266

Other Chapters: (Prologue) (1) (2) (3) (4) (6) (7) (Epilogue)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Chapter 5

Killian knocked on the Nolans’ front door and waited patiently for a response. Just that morning, after three months of work, he’d put the finishing touches on his novel. It was good. He knew it was good. This work would bring him acclaim, maybe even fortune.

But for all that, it was the time here that he’d found most precious. The lovely afternoons spent by the sea, his trusty notebook in hand. The days spent collaborating with Captain Nemo, hearing his harrowing tales–all of which he swore up and down were the Bible truth–discussing ideas, hearing his thoughts on his manuscript and the world in general. It had all been more exhilarating than anything he’d ever experienced.

Except, that is, falling in love. That had been exhilarating on an entirely new level beyond anything he could have imagined. For he could deny it no longer. He had fallen deeply, passionately, irrevocably in love with Emma.

As he waited for the door to be answered, he thought about the moment he’d known he loved her.

It had been several weeks past. He’d had plans to go to the shore and write until his hand cramped and the words would no longer come. Accordingly, he’d bid Emma goodbye for the day and headed out.

An hour later, however, he discovered his pen had run out of ink, and he went back to the boarding house to grab another. When he’d come in view of the house he saw her.

She stood on the balcony off of her bedroom, dressed in a long, demure dressing gown, her glorious golden hair blowing freely in the breeze, wrapping around her like a cloak, before being once more blown aside. She had evidently taken advantage of a free morning to wash her hair and let the salty sea breeze dry it.

She was the most beautiful vision he’d ever seen, and it was at that moment that he’d known, simply known that he loved her and there would never be another woman for him.

It was exhilarating….but it was also the most tragic thing that could have happened. She was married. She could never be his.

This morning, having finished the first draft of his novel, he knew his time on the island was coming to a close. Mr. DuLac had begun asking about his plans to return, and with the book finished, he knew he could put it off no longer.

And that’s what brought him to David and Mary Margaret’s home this afternoon. He knew his love was hopeless, and he had no intention of declaring it to Emma, but he had to tell someone. He had to unburden himself, and there was no one who was a better listener or more sympathetic than Mary Margaret. Though she was a few years his junior, there was something almost motherly about her.

The woman herself opened the door a moment later, and looked up at him in surprise.

“Killian, this is a surprise!” she said. “Come in! Would you like some tea?”

“Don’t trouble yourself, Mary Margaret,” he said quickly, “in your condition you don’t need to be waiting on me.”

She looked down at her protruding belly and chuckled. “I can’t believe I still have two months to go. I feel rather like a beached whale already.”

“You look lovely,” he said gallantly. “But I’m sure you need your rest.”

“Indeed she does!” came the businesslike voice of Johanna from the kitchen doorway. The Nolans had hired Johanna a month before as a kind of nurse and housekeeper. Mary Margaret had balked a bit at bringing a stranger into their home, but Johanna had quickly become family, and she’d be indispensable once Mary Margaret entered her confinement. “Don’t you fret, Mrs. Doctor, dear. Johanna’s at the helm. I’ll put the kettle on. You simply enjoy your visit.”

Mary Margaret laughed. “I feel as though I’ve been dismissed. Something tells me if I attempted to enter my own kitchen, I’d be summarily tossed out.”

Killian smiled. “I wouldn’t test her.”

Mary Margaret led him to the sitting room and indicated an easy chair, which he accepted gladly as she took her own seat on the sofa. “To what do I owe the pleasure? Is everything alright? Killian, you’re not looking well. You’re not suffering a relapse are you?”

“Oh nothing like that,” he was quick to assure. “I finished my novel this morning, and I plan to return to Montreal at the end of the week.”

“That soon?” Mary Margaret said, “we’ll all miss you terribly! You’ve been such a splendid addition to our group! You must come back again soon!”

He was quiet for a long moment, before speaking again. “I’ll never return to the island.”

And then it all came spilling out, the whole beautiful, tragic tale of his love for Emma, of his need for her, of his knowledge that she was the only woman in the world for him.

“Oh, Killian, you didn’t say anything to her did you?” she asked tragically when his tale was finished. “You know nothing can come of it!”

“Of course I didn’t!” Killian said vehemently. “What kind of a monster do you take me for? I know my feelings are hopeless, and the last thing in the world I would ever want to do is burden her further with them!”

Mary Margaret breathed a sigh of relief before adding. “Does she feel the same about you?”

Yes, she does. I know she does. I’ve seen it in her eyes, felt it in the gentle way she’s cared for me while I recuperated.

“No,” he said aloud, “of course not. She can’t.”

Mary Margaret smiled sadly, and he could see that his protestations didn’t convince her.

“I don’t expect anything from you or from her,” Killian said. “I just…I had to tell someone. Never fear, I will leave and never return, but for one moment, I…just needed to unburden myself. I can count on your discretion can’t I?”

“Of course”, she answered, “I promise to not tell a soul–not even David. But Killian, don’t give up hope! If there’s anything I’ve learned through my life, it’s that there’s always hope, even when things look the bleakest.”

He smiled sadly. “I’d like to believe that, but just now, hope seems like nothing but an unattainable dream.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

On Friday morning, when Killian came into the kitchen he was carrying his suitcases.

Emma’s heart broke at the sight, though she’d been trying to prepare herself for this moment since he’d told her of his plans at the beginning of the week. He was leaving, and she knew she would never again be the same.

She’d fallen in love with him.

For weeks–months even–she’d tried to deny the fact, even to herself. She was married after all. Nothing could come of feelings for her boarder.

But in the depths of her heart where the truth could not be denied she knew, she’d always known. She loved him.

A new pain, sharper, and yet sweeter than any she’d ever known had entered her life at the realization. Yes, her life to this point had been difficult. She’d married a man she didn’t love, didn’t even respect. He’d returned to her after an accident as little more than a child in mentality, someone she’d need to care for for the rest of his natural life. All of it was hard.

But it was bearable as long as she hadn’t known what real love was. Now…now she didn’t know how she’d survive the endless empty years that loomed before her.

“All packed up?” she said with a falsely bright, cheerful smile–one she knew didn’t fool anyone, least of all him, who seemed capable of reading her very thoughts.

“Aye,” he’d answered with a sad smile. “Once breakfast is over, I’ll head to the station.”

“Neal can help you with your bags,” she said, turning toward the stove, giving the eggs one last, unnecessary stir while she willed the tears from welling up. There would be time to give vent to her grief once he was gone. She wouldn’t make a fool of herself with it while he was still here.

He came up behind her, his nearness distracting, somehow the greatest pleasure mixed with nearly unbearable pain. He put a warm, comforting hand on her shoulder and turned her toward him. “I appreciate it,” he said simply.

“It’s no trouble,” Emma tried to say casually. “Neal likes to be helpful, and I know he likes you. He’ll enjoy helping you take your luggage to the station.”

“I didn’t merely mean about offering Neal’s services, love,” he said softly. “I appreciate everything you’ve done, everything you’ve been to me over the past four months of my stay. You’ve been a true godsend.”

She tried to shrug off the thanks. “I didn’t do so much.”

“But you did,” he continued. “In those early days when I still barely had the strength to climb a flight of stairs, you cared for me, bringing me everything I needed, inquiring about my health. You made me feel welcome, a part of the family. You brought me into a circle of friends who have become dearer to me than anyone I’ve ever known. I can never repay you for all of it.”

“It…it was my pleasure,” she said, her voice breaking. “But enough talk. My breakfast is getting cold.”

During the meal both of them stuck determinedly to light topics–there was no word about feelings, departures, the future.

But eventually, every bite was eaten, every sip of tea drunk, and the inevitable could not be put off any longer.

After setting his empty plate in the sink, Killian turned to Emma, his eyes sad. “Thank you again. For everything.”

“Think nothing of it.”

For long moments they merely looked at each other, their eyes speaking words neither was free to say.

“Emma,” he said finally, his voice gravelly and tragic, “there’s not a day that will go by that I won’t think of you.”

She swallowed hard several times as the tears welled up, one finally spilling over when she could no longer contain it. “Good,” she said simply.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Mary Margaret Nolan sat in her favorite, high backed chair before the fire. It was only early September, but the nights were already becoming cool, and she was grateful David had built up the fire tonight.

The baby kicked, and Mary Margaret smiled, massaging her distended belly where the little one seemed determined to make his presence known. She couldn’t be sure, of course, but she was convinced their baby was a boy. Mother’s intuition, she supposed.

She was so confident, in fact, that the pair of tiny booties she was attempting to knit were a light, sky blue. Attempting being the operative word. Though no novice at the art of knitting, Mary Margaret had made more than one mistake this evening and had to rip out several rows of work.

Mary Margaret frowned, setting her knitting aside and gazing thoughtfully into the fire. What a mess it all was! First Killian confiding his feelings for Emma and then Emma doing the same not a week later.

She’d gone down to the shore one evening when David was again out on calls. He didn’t like her venturing so far on foot by herself in her current condition, but she figured what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. She was sure Johanna would keep her secret.

What she’d found at the shoreline wasn’t the peace and tranquility she was accustomed to. Instead, she’d found Emma rather frantically pacing back and forth.

“Whatever is the matter, Emma?” she’d asked in concern after reaching the other woman.

“Mary Margaret, I am such a fool, such an idiotic fool! How could I let this happen?”

And then the whole tale had come out. Despite her best efforts, she’d fallen in love with Killian Jones, and now he was gone, and she felt utterly bereft.

“And the worst part?” Emma had said. “The worst part is that I’m sure it would have been even worse if he’d stayed. How could I endure that torture–being so close to the man I love knowing nothing could ever come of it? That is, of course, assuming he even felt the same, which I’m not vain enough to believe to be the case.”

Mary Margaret had said little, aside from whatever paltry words of comfort she could find. She knew, of course, that Emma’s feelings were more than reciprocated, but she’d made Killian a promise, and she intended to keep it.

She rather thought she’d keep the information to herself even if he hadn’t exacted the promise from her. The knowledge would do nothing but bring Emma further pain.

“You won’t tell anyone, will you?” Emma asked. “Not even David? I couldn’t bear to think of anyone else knowing what a terrible person–what a terrible wife I am.”

“You are NOT a terrible person, and you are the last person anyone would consider a terrible wife,” Mary Margaret said firmly. “You’ve done more for that miserable man in the last twelve years than anyone could have asked of you. Still, I promise. I won’t tell a soul.”

Mary Margaret was not known for her ability to keep a secret, but she felt sure she would have no difficulty keeping either of the promises she’d made. It was all so horrible. A month and a half after Killian had left, and Emma was clearly suffering as much as the day he’d gone. It seemed the saying was true. Absence really did make the heart grow fonder.

“Mary Margaret,” David said slowly from the chair beside her.

She heard the hesitation and uncertainty in his voice, and looked at him in concern. He had been unusually quiet all evening, and she’d wondered if something were the matter, but when he’d said nothing, she assumed he’d lost a patient or some other aspect of his work troubled him.

“Yes?” she responded finally.

“I….I” he stammered before clearing his throat and turning to look at her directly. “I find myself in something of a quandary. I know what I should do, but the last thing in the world I want is to do it.”

Well this didn’t sound good. A sudden foreboding came over her. Somehow she knew she was not going to like what he had to say. Still, she laid a comforting hand over his and interlaced their fingers. “If it would help, I’m happy to be a listening ear.”

“You know this afternoon I was over at the Golds. to lance a boil Neal had on his neck.” After her nod he continued. “I decided to take the opportunity to examine his head–specifically the area where he was injured that night so many years ago.”

He stopped again, and she squeezed his hand, urging him to continue.

“Mary Margaret, I think there may be a way to surgically fix what’s wrong. I think it might be possible to restore him to his right senses.”

Mary Margaret pulled in a quick, agonized breath. “David you can’t! You know what that would do to Emma! Neal as, basically a child is difficult enough for her, but to return the horrible man she married? David it would be torture!”

“I know, Snow!” It was a nickname he’d given her years ago, one he only used in moments of great emotion. “It’s killing me to even think it! The last thing in the world I would ever want to do is harm Emma, but now that I’ve seen it, how can I not tell her?”

“You can’t David!” Mary Margaret said again, hearing the near hysteria in her voice. “Could you even do the surgery? You’ve never done anything neurological before!”

“No,” David said quickly, “it would be beyond my skill, but there are doctors in the city who would be more than capable. There’s no guarantee anything would come of it, but there is a chance.”

“There you go!” Mary Margaret said, getting to her feet and beginning to pace. “It’s not a certainty! You know Emma doesn’t have the kind of money to spend on the trip and what is sure to be an expensive surgery! Please, David, you can’t tell her!”

David was quiet for a long time, and then hung his head, hands holding the back of his chair, and leaning into it as though it were the only thing holding him up. “I’ve told myself the same things you are saying over and over again, Snow, but I can’t get away from it. As a doctor, my first duty is toward my patients. Emma may choose to act on my information or to not act on it, but I have to at least tell her. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Emma took the news as stoically as she was able, hearing Dr. Nolan out, refusing to let her face betray the utter dread she felt at even the possibility of having Neal restored to his senses. David had been wonderfully gentle and understanding, offering her an out. Assuring her he would think no less of her if she chose to forego the surgery. It was, he said, a long shot and would be quite expensive.

She’d said very little to him, bidding him goodbye as soon as he’d finished speaking, but that didn’t stop her tortured thoughts. All night she’d tossed and turned, able to think of nothing but the choice in front of her.

One minute she’d resolved to dismiss Dr. Nolan’s suggestion, and then the next the guilt convinced her she had to at least try to restore Neal. Back and forth it went all night.

But when dawn came, she’d come to a decision. She had to do the right thing. She had to take Neal for the surgery.

Accordingly, at the end of the week, she took Neal to the city and allowed the surgeons to do their work.

After the procedure was over, the doctor had come to her, assuring her that all had gone well. They’d need to wait for him to wake, though, to determine if it had been a success.

Several hours later, Emma was sitting at Neal’s bedside when he awoke. “Neal?” she said tentatively. “Do you know me, Neal?”

For a moment he simply looked at her. He looked confused, but his eyes no longer held the vacant look she’d seen in them for the past twelve years.

Then he spoke.

“Emma? Is that you? Why are you calling me Neal?”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Notes:

–Let the yelling commence that I ended it there and am leaving you hanging, lol! What exactly did that last line mean? You’ll have to stay tuned to find out! (But, if you’re dying to know what just happened, never fear. Krystal has given me the puppy dog eyes when I told her I had a cliff-hanger in store for her, and as a result, I have succumbed to her pleading to post the next chapter on Sunday.

–Given the fact that I now have the first draft of the entire fic finished, I plan to actually post 3 times next week: Sunday, Tuesday and Friday.

–Up next: We learn what my last sentence above actually means. We learn whether or not the surgery was a success and what exactly that means for all those concerned. In addition to the Emma/Neal portion of the story, big changes come to both the Nolans, Granny and Marco.

NEXT CHAPTER->

#cs fanfiction #my fanfiction #krystal's birthday gift #anne's house of dreams #at the dawn there is rejoicing

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