#i hate you frank churchill

[nasty-bog-boy]

theres just something so deeply tender about the relationship between Emma Woodhouse and her father. like Jane Austen really broke out the big guns to depict such a tender, sensitive relationship between a father and a daughter without losing the flaws of the characters or making something unbearably sweet.

when Jane Austen decided to write Emma one of her main goals was to create an unlikeable heroine and honestly? she does do a pretty good job of that. Emma does behave poorly throughout the novel, turning people into her little playthings, letting her insecurities dictate her behaviour and of course the infamous Miss Bates insult.

but through her love of her father Emma never becomes someone we stop rooting for. Jane Austen shows how Emma isnt some irredeemable, selfish person. shes lonely and misguided but shes also full of love and care for the person who depends on her competely.

shes never seen the sea! she declares she will never marry because she cant leave him! she trys to reject Mr Knightley because she wont even move to the estate next door without her father!

and she never resents him!

Emma loves and cares for her Father, she might laugh at some of his quirks and hurt others feeling but she never wishes to leave him just to make her life easier. i think it shows Jane Austen at her most tender and kind, even in trying to create a flawed heroine who can act in a genuinely unpleasant way towards others Austen also creates one of the most heart-warming parent/child relationships in all of her books.

idk i can never truly dislike Emma Woodhouse because we see so clearly how she is not a bad person at heart. she makes mistakes and she regrets them and she puts her fathers happiness above her own always! she means a lot to me!

[itspileofgoodthings]

my seniors have been so quiet all year and it’s been fine cause we’ve had a lot of writing/research to do but I need them to talk to me now so i was hit by a bolt of inspiration two days ago and I made them all tell me their comfort level with sharing aloud, rating themselves on a scale of 1-10. I then averaged the class score and they’re a 4.5. I then told them yesterday we needed to raise the score the tiniest bit. And the 1’s and 2’s didn’t need to be 10’s just maybe 3’s and 4’s. And they tried! They talked more 😭

[diana-daphne]

Mr. Knightley being a hater (he’s right)

[bethanydelleman]

I’m sorry but what was frank Churchill doing flirting with an heiress with Prospects!!! In front of his fiancé to which he was her only ticket out of poverty

I hate to break this too you, but Frank Churchill has a condition which scientist have described as "Careless, Selfish Jerk Syndrome."

Unfortunately, it's usually incurable

[willyoubemycherryy]

Order➬ 1 𝒃𝒖𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎 𝒓𝒖𝒎 𝒘 𝑬𝒎𝒎𝒂!𝑪𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒖𝒎 (𝑭𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝑪𝒉𝒖𝒓𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒍) @charmingballoon

“𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕? 𝑮𝒐 𝒌𝒊𝒔𝒔 𝒊𝒕!” “𝑶𝒑𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒍𝒆𝒈𝒔 𝒔𝒐 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏.”

𝑰𝒏𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔: 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒎 𝒏𝒐𝒎 𝒏𝒐𝒎 𝒘 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒖𝒏𝒄𝒉 𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕, 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒐𝒆𝒔𝒏’𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒊𝒎, 𝒃𝒆𝒈𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒌𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒇𝒍𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒒𝒖𝒊𝒏𝒕, ✪𝒓𝒈𝒂𝒔𝒎𝒔, 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏 𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒐𝒖𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒅 ¯\_)���)_/¯

. . ,

You hated him.

That’s what you told yourself whenever you’d see him. You knew of his reputation and decided right away that no matter what, you would not allow yourself to be swept up and enthralled by him.

So ending up, alone, in the drawing room with him was truly by complete mistake.

“Surely you can’t find me so insufferable that you refuse to even entertain me in conversation?” His light jab irks you as you scowl at his handsome face.

“You can entertain yourself just fine. You need not my audience.”

The pure ice in your tone draws him to you like a moth to a flame. He’s noticed you long before now but it was clear off the bat that you didn’t care for him in the slightest. So naturally, he couldn’t resist being around you. Following you at the latest ball as you flitted into an empty room filled with billiard tables.

All you wanted was space from all the heavy perfumed bodies but now you want to leave all together. Irked and aroused by his insufferable presence, you mouth off at him, fed up with how haughty he always seemed to be. Especially since you knew that he knew of your dislike of him.

“Just who do you think you are?!” You shout at him. Frank only smirks as he replies.

“Frank Churchill, pleasure to be acquainted my lady”, he pauses and his easygoing attitude makes you want to jump him, “if I may, why do you hate me so fiercely?”

You gape at him in shock because there’s no way he’s being serious. Looking into his breathtaking deep blue eyes, you give him your full opinion.

“I think the reason is quite obvious. You walk with the highest instep in mankind, you’re too used to everyone falling over you and rumor has it you go through the messiest flings”, he simply listens and waits for you to finish, driven to have you now even more.

“…and to top all that, you’re face is pleasant enough to make one startle with each look at you which is most infuriating-“ the amused look on his face makes you quiet as you realize what you said as you glare at him.

If looks could kill…

“Ah~ How good I will sleep at night knowing you find me pleasant to look at”, he purrs, coming into your space. Heat creeps up your neck but you refuse to give him the satisfaction.

“I don’t care how you sleep! Actually, you know what?!”

“Tell me what.”

“You can go kiss it!”

He hums before leaning down to your face, full lips close to yours as he whispers.

“Open your legs so I can.”

He captures your lips in a heated kiss as soon as you snap your head up, plump lips move passionately against yours and you moan when he licks into your mouth. Gasping as he lifts you onto one of the tables you rush to gather your dress, huffing indignantly.

“Just like that? Don’t you think you’re being too easy?”, you taunt him even though your one to talk, Frank laughs in response as he kneels, cooing at your wet panties before slipping them off.

“I am merely honoring your wishes to “kiss it”. You can hold my hand if it’s too much.” Before you can snap at him again, he’s licking a broad stripe up your pussy and your head drops back, a wrecked moan escaping your chest.

You’re so wet already, soft skin shiny-slick and flushed with arousal, Frank slides his hands up to your hips to hold you still, but you keep twitching up, trying to fuck against his tongue while he laps over you in broad strokes.

The sounds coming from your mouth make him think that you’ve loved him all his life as you moan his name, swept away with how good he’s making you melt under him.

You cry out when he wraps his full lips around your swollen clit and sucks, keeping up a steady rhythm of hard and soft suction while you grip his hand. The noises spilling out of your mouth pitch into high, frantic, almost distressed trills, your clit a pulsing nub between Frank’s soft lips. He stops sucking, just to flick the tip of his tongue against you a couple times, reveling in your sweet whines.

And then he pulls back with a soft kiss to the aching nub. You tighten your hand on his hard, and tilt your hips up as much as you can with Frank’s firm hold on you, keeping you down.

“You miserable tease,” your voice breaking a little when he licks around your entrance.

“You teased me first,” Frank says, teasing around your hole with his tongue, smirking a little when he can feel you clenching, trying to draw him in.

You don’t have time for this. You’re wet beyond belief and you can’t think straight long enough to argue.

“Poor thing,” he says, pointing his tongue and fucking you with it until you’re writhing under him, harsh pants edged with almost-groans making your chest heave under your tight laced corset. “You fancy me quite a lot, don’t you darling?” he asks, when he pulls out, and you full-on whine.

“Please,” you say, clutching at Frank’s hair- not trying to move him anymore, just grasping because you need to hold onto something. “Please, Frank.”

“I adore when you beg,” he tells you, dragging his tongue slow and torturous over up your soaked cunny, pausing just before he gets to your clit just to make you whine again.

He puts his mouth on you again. This time with intent and your wild beneath him. Fingers clasped tightly in his that he’s sure your knuckles are white, hips moving so frantically you’re almost bucking him off. Frank’s close himself, the smell of you thick and sweet in his nostrils, taste of you heady on his tongue, the sweet friction as he humps against the air.

“I - please, please, I - oh,” you babble; Frank sucks so hard his cheeks hollow out, letting his tongue rub against the achy-hard nub of your clit until you jerk your hips so hard you do knock him off, practically sobbing as you cum.

Your fingers tighten even more in his hair while you jerk under him, the desperate relief in your breathy sobs pushing him right over the edge. Frank rests his forehead against your thigh, gasping through it as his cock jerks in his pants.

You pet his hair with shaky fingers, breathing slowly returning to normal. Frank waits for the buzzing in his head, the heaviness in his limbs to subside a little before he stands up, leaning over your slack form in smug amusement. Everything about what just happened was beyond improper but you let it happen because you like him. The revelation fills him with unbridled glee.

“Shall I assume my kiss was to your liking?”

♡︎ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ, ᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴅᴏʟʟᴀʀ😌

[ladykailitha]

The Promise

Just a little sweetness to break up the absolute angst fest I’ve been working on. I’ve have cried so many times writing the next few parts, my little romantic heart needed a break.

So I jumped on the “they met as children” bandwagon.

Or you can read it here on AO3

*

Eddie wandered around Steve’s bedroom as Steve went to answer the phone. He wasn’t surprised to see that the room held little personality. Not because Steve was a blank slate by any means. No, it was more that judging from what Eddie knew about Steve’s parents and the way they forced conformity on him.

So the book shelf was a bit of a surprise. Four neat little shelves crammed with books.

Steve opened the door and asked, “Hey, what are you doing?”

Eddie looked up from the bookshelf feeling caught out. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to snoop. It’s just everyone says you don’t read, so the bookshelf was a bit of a surprise.”

Steve scoffed. “They only say that because I don’t read fantasy or science fiction. I read other stuff.”

“What’s wrong with either of those two genres?” Eddie asked, moving away from the shelf to sit on Steve’s bed.

Steve shrugged. “I guess I never found the right kind of fantasy, especially since you told me that there are so many sub-genres. I guess I got overwhelmed.”

Eddie nodded. Not every fantasy book was for every person. He would have to go through his books and find a nice variety for Steve and figure out what he liked.

“And what about science fiction?” he asked.

Steve wrinkled his nose. “I hate it. And I’ve read all of the supposed greats, too. Jules Verne, Isaac Asimov, Frank Herbert, Robert Heinlein, Ray Bradbury. They all spend so much time on the science that they don’t get to the fiction. And it hurts my head.”

Eddie sighed and cocked his head. He couldn’t fault that. “So what do you like?” Steve cocked an eyebrow at him and he laughed. “I didn’t get to read any of the titles before you came back.”

Steve still eyed him skeptically but came over to sit on the bed next to him. “I like biographies. Mainly sports but a couple historical figures too. Winston Churchill was interesting. Diary of Anne Frank. But mostly I like mysteries.”

“Mysteries? Really?” Eddie said lightly. “Will wonders never cease. So who’s your favorites?”

“I like Agatha Christie, of course, Nero Wolfe, Sherlock Holmes...” he trailed off. “The classics, I guess.”

“Nothing wrong with the classics,” Eddie said. “What’s your favorite Holmes story?”

Steve hummed. “I would say ‘The Adventure of the Silver Blaze’.”

Eddie frowned. “I don’t think I’ve heard of the that one.”

“It’s where a horse goes missing right before an important race and the trainer is found dead,” Steve explained, starting to talk excitedly for the first time since he caught Eddie going through his bookshelf.

“Whoa!” Eddie teased but Steve laughed. “Why do you like it so much?”

Steve blushed. “It’s one of the few times that Dr Watson finds an important clue.”

Eddie lit up with interest. “Yeah? What was the clue?”

“That the horse tracks start coming back about half way through.”

“And Holmes was so focused on seeing the clues in front of him that he forgot to look to the side?” Eddie guessed.

Steve nodded. “It’s really cool.”

“Now here’s the really important question...” Eddie said, leaning forward to put his elbows on his knees. “Poirot or Marple?”

Steve who had leaned forward before Eddie asked the question, threw his head back and laughed.

“Poirot hands down!”

Eddie put his hands over his heart. “No! Say it isn’t so!”

“Afraid so,” Steve said with a grin. He leaned over the bed to pull out his favorite book. “Elephants Can Remember.”

“It’s about a girl who’s future mother-in-law wants to find out if insanity runs in the girl’s family because when she was a little girl her father was with her mother both found dead on the top of the cliff near their home. Was it a double murder? Murder/suicide? And if so, who was the one that killed them both, the mother or the father?”

“So this old bat comes to Poirot to find out?”

Steve nodded. “It’s really good.”

“Huh,” Eddie said. “That does sound interesting.” He began leafing through the pages when a piece of paper fell out. “What’s this?

Steve shrugged. “Just a piece of paper I use as a bookmark sometimes.”

Eddie eyed suspiciously. Steve was far too causal about this little piece of paper.

He turned it over. There was a circle around a heart and a little note that said, “This is the best ring I can do right now, Love E”

“What’s this?” Eddie asked, his breath catching in his throat.

Steve blushed. “The first person I ever kissed.”

“Eleanor Jackson gave you this?” Eddie asked. He had heard the story of course. Everyone had. How when Steve was ten Eleanor declared him to be her husband and would kiss him every day on the playground. Everyone thought it was cute. Personally, it made Eddie gag. Mainly because no one had asked Steve what he thought.

But Steve was shaking his head. “She was the first girl I kissed.”

Eddie’s eyebrows shot up. “Excuse me, what?”

Steve looked down and began picking at a loose thread on his comforter. “I don’t even remember what his name was and since he only signed it as ‘E’ I guess I probably never will.”

Eddie looked down at the note again. “Tell me about this boy.”

Steve bit his lower lip. “When I was eight, my aunt took me out to one of the lakes to play on the beach. I don’t even remember which one. But there was this dark haired little boy making a sand castle too close to the water and would get frustrated every time a wave came up and destroyed his hard work.”

Eddie grinned. “Sounds cute. Even if he seems a little dim.”

“I asked why he didn’t simply move further up the beach,” Steve said, remembering with a fond smile. “He said that he had. Twice!”

“Oh the poor little bastard,” Eddie said, nearly doubling over with laughter.

“So I convinced him to make little soldiers instead for the waves to deliberately carry away.”

“Awww...” Eddie said. “Did he agree?”

“We made a game out of it,” Steve said. “Who could build the fastest army before the wave came back.”

Eddie was cackling now. “So who won?”

“He did by a landslide,” Steve said. “I could only manage to make three or four but he made ten!”

Eddie shoved his hair in his mouth to try and stifle the laughter. “Oh god, you are so competitive. How on earth did you handle that?”

Steve tipped his head back and sighed. “I pouted.”

“Of course you did,” Eddie said.

“It’s how I got my kiss though,” Steve said. “So I really couldn’t complain.”

Eddie tilted his head to side. “And how did that work?”

“When he saw me pouting, he kissed me,” Steve murmured. “Said that he had seen his mom do that with his dad when his dad pouted.”

“Cute!” Eddie said giggling.

“I kissed him back in retaliation,” Steve said. “He was just so sweet.”

“He really sounds like it,” Eddie said softly, looking down at the note. He crossed his legs and looked up at Steve. “When did he give you the note?”

Steve mirrored his position. “Just before him and his parents left. He told them he had forgotten something. He rushed back to me and gave me the note.”

“That’s real sweet, Stevie,” Eddie said. “So you just told everyone it was from Eleanor Jackson and kept it safe all this time.”

Steve nodded. “Everyone thought it was so sweet that she wanted to marry me, but I hated it.”

“Because you were already engaged to someone else,” Eddie teased. “Oh my what would Nancy think? You were cheating first!”

Steve protested, “Hey! It wasn’t like that!”

Eddie grinned. “I know, big boy. I’m only teasing you. You look so pretty when you blush.”

Steve pouted.

Eddie leaned over and pressed his lips to Steve’s.

Steve gasped. “Eds?” he asked, unsure.

“I learned that from my mom,” Eddie whispered as he worked a ring off his right hand. “Sorry it’s late, darlin’, but I finally got you a better ring.”

He slipped on Steve’s ring finger on his left hand.

Steve stared at the ring on his finger in awe and something softer, more dear.

“Did you know the whole time I was tell the story that it was you?” he asked, suddenly shy.

Eddie shook his head. “Not at first. I didn’t remember the sand castle or the little soldiers. Remember the kiss, though.”

Steve looked up at him through his eyelashes. “Yeah?”

“Of course I remember the first person I ever kissed, Steve,” Eddie cried. “Like you, I didn’t remember the boy’s name. I don’t think you ever said.”

Steve blushed. “Probably not,” he admitted still shy.

Eddie kissed him again and Steve melted into it. “So pretty boy: gay or bisexual?”

Steve frowned for a moment, thinking. “I want to lean more to toward bisexual because of Nancy, but the more I think about our relationship and how we are much better as friends, I start to wonder. And then there’s Robin. What straight or bisexual man suddenly stop having feelings for a girl just because she said she liked her own gender?”  

Eddie nodded. “You’ve dated women pretty exclusively, did you feel anything for any of them? A spark, a floppy feeling in your stomach?”

Steve shook his head. “The closest I ever got to that was with Nancy. I was happy with her. Maybe no sparks or fireworks or anything like that, but she made me happy. So I thought that’s what love was.”

Eddie smiled, “And now?”

“Happiness is just a start,” Steve said, pulling Eddie back for another kiss.

Eddie grinned against Steve’s lips. “Well you make me pretty happy.”

Steve looked down at the ring on his hand. “We haven’t even dated and we’re already engaged,” he said with a laugh.

Eddie moved to sit next to Steve and picked up his hand to admire the ring. “I didn’t think I would find you again. And even when I entertained those thoughts, I would come up with scenario after scenario where we hated each other because we become such different people.”

Steve blushed. “My nightmare scenarios where were I found you again only to find out you were already with someone else. Or you tell me that it was a youthful indiscretion and that didn’t mean anything.”

Eddie kissed the ring gently. “Turns out we were both wrong.”

Steve chuckled. “I’m glad we met when we did, Eds. Again, I mean.”

Eddie cupped Steve’s cheek with his other hand. “Why’s that, sweetheart?”

“I think our nightmares would have come true,” Steve said softly, closing his eyes and leaning into Eddie’s touch. “Only it would have been me telling you it was a youthful indiscretion so Tommy would still like me. And then we would have hated each other. And I can’t stand the thought of that. Not now. Not now that I’ve gotten to know you.”

Eddie smiled softly. “I know what you mean, baby. And I’m grateful, too.”

Steve kissed him again and let Eddie lower them on to the bed.

“You’re so beautiful,” Eddie whispered. “You were beautiful then and you’re even more so now.”

“I love you, Eds,” Steve murmured. “I think I always have.”

Eddie grinned. “Me, too,” he murmured against the skin of Steve’s neck. “Me, too.”

[19burstraat]

anyone want to hear my six of crows x jane austen's emma au. yes of course you do don't be silly. the only person allowed to be silly is me as I descend into madness in the course of trying to cast this. (if you think 'I've heard this before' yes I've posted abt it before tho I think it was on my main)

kaz is emma, a bored, overintelligent rich bitch stuck in a country house with a bunch of shit idiot neighbours and almost no one to entertain or match him. fucking useless dad per haskell / mr woodhouse is a weaksauce hypochrondriac, and jordie / isabella has gone and got married and ditched kaz, the bastard. the only consolation is their neighbour inej / mr knightley, who is rich, sensible, popular, and elegible as hell... glory be, an intellectual equal for kaz!

in order to be less bored, kaz takes on a protege, mysterious randomer and natural son wylan / harriet smith, who kaz decides to mould in his own image and make a good match for. wylan is in love with gentleman farmer jesper / robert martin, but kaz is a snob and tries to push him towards local vicar kuwei / mr elton (I KNOW. I'M SORRY KUWEI), but that all goes tits up bc turns out kaz is a fucking terrible matchmaker, who'd've known.

meanwhile, unassuming and a little cold, but locally well-liked matthias / jane fairfax has arrived back in the village, and kaz busily commences hating on him because he's another accomplished young man and he makes him feel inadequate. hot on his heels comes the mysterious nina / frank churchill (NINA I'M SO SORRY I FUCKING HATE FRANK BUT THIS IS WHAT WORKS FOR THE COUPLES YOU CAN BE A NICE FRANK CHURCHILL ): ), who kaz is kind of fascinated by and enjoys sparring with, and hence kind of misses the really obvious signs that nina and matthias are secretly engaged, even though inej, ever thief of secrets, has lowkey noticed something's up, like matthias getting mysterious gifts from someone. kaz ends up being convinced that possibly it's inej that's pursuing matthias, which nina encourages because it helps her cover, and kaz kinda panics.

everyone has petty village drama which culiminates when kaz sneers at pekka rollins / miss bates (LISTEN. LI actually you don't need to listen bc I laughed out loud when I thought of this comparison but hear me out, if you just think of it as the equivalent of the church of barter scene except instead of 'I buried him' it's 'when have you ever stopped at three?' it kind of works. sorry to miss bates tho who is still kinda my fave austen character) at box hill, which culminates in inej going BOY WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM and kaz is like wow she kind of has a point should I be a better person :/

uhh what else even happens. there's a ball after nina massively encourages one, inej saves wylan from being partnerless and later dances with kaz (think of the gloveless dance scene from the 2020 adaptation? yeah? yeahh??). the regency gender conventions here are getting so messed up lmao, never mind. in emma harriet fancies herself in love with mr knightley and emma is forced to realise that she likes him, so let's say that wylan pretends to be after inej, in order to strong arm kaz into realising that he's wanted to marry inej this entire time. wylan's dad turns out to be minted (I'm stretching the book here to make it work w SOC but never mind) but that's after kaz has admitted he fucked up and sent wylan off to marry gentleman farmer jesper, yaaay. nina's relatives who are stopping her from marrying matthias die and hence there's a massive revelation with 'oh they were engaged this whole time lol', kaz is PISSED bc he didn't clock it. uh. everyone gets married and now kaz can escape the shit village and actually go places. the end.

[firawren]

Do you hate who I hate?

So there was that favorite character poll going around a while ago, but I was thinking that I have a few generally-liked characters that I irrationally hate, and thought it would be fun to know which of those others dislike too. These aren't my most hated characters, just the ones that I know I am weird for hating because most other people like them. But maybe I'm not as alone as I think I am?

[lavellenchanted]

📖 20 and 40, please? 📚

20: A character you like but you really, really shouldn't.

Ooh, interesting question and I am really struggling to come up with answer to it. I mean, on the one hand, is there ever really such a thing? On the other if I listened to certain fandoms, I should hate several of my favourite characters.

Maybe Frank Churchill? Like, he is pretty explicitly a dick in so many ways but he is also entertaining and I can't help rooting for him and Jane. And I find the theories that he actually murdered his aunt to be hilarious. He's the best of the Austen antagonists, I think.

40: Has there ever been a book you wish you could un-read?

In theory I like to say no, because I think I've learned things about writing, literature and my own tastes even from books I hated, but realistically . . . my friends once downloaded a book called I Married An Alien on to my kindle as a joke (which backfired because I had lent my kindle to my mother) and I read about half of it before deciding I couldn't take any more and if I could erase all knowledge of that from my brain I would be very happy.

book asks

[onebluebookworm]

Should You Fight Them? - Jane Austen Romantic Runner-Up Edition

Companion piece to this post. Because I still think I'm funny, even with this horribly outdated meme format.

John Willoughby: Even if you don't take into account the lying, the two-timing, the manipulation, the abandoning of a pregnant teenager, and the fact he's a whiny toddler man who could have solved most of his problems by not being a gold-digging shit, he still seems utterly insufferable to be around. Fuck this little bastard up.

George Wickham: It's honestly hard for me to choose who between him and Willoughby I hate more, but at least Wickham has the smarts to realize when he's fucked up with one Bennett sister and move on to the other. Still a stinky garbage boy who belongs in the toilet. I would say fight him, but let's be real here, Darcy would beat you to it.

William Collins: Yes, we all know he's insufferable and pompous and boorish, but I honestly can't bring myself to hate him all that much. I don't know, maybe it's the BBC miniseries clouding my judgement, but he also has this wet beast (derogatory) vibe about him that makes him kinda pathetic. Don't fight, but you could like...I dunno, maybe trip him?

Henry Crawford: Henry, I wanna root for you, pal. You're a lot like Willoughby, where if you just stop being a philandering little doofus and actual focus on being a good person, you would actually be really fun to be around and potentially even husband material. Don't fight, but definitely shame him over the fact he could be so much better than he is. You're not mad, just disappointed.

Philip Elton: I know he was never in Emma's league to begin with, but I can't not put him on here, simply because he's just the worst. An absolute feeb and a loser. He and Mr. Collins would be friends if either of them were capable of being likeable. Absolutely fight, and maybe take on his wife while you're at it.

Frank Churchill: My dude. My guy. My sweet little meow meow. Please just tell people things. At least let one person into your confidence about this whole "secret engagement with Jane" thing. Please, bro. You're decimating the vibes, bro. Look at your girl, Frank. She's got anxiety, Frank. Fight, if only to knock some sense into his idiot head.

John Thorpe: John wants to be a Willoughy or a Wickham so bad. Just so clever and cunning that he breaks a bunch of hearts before landing himself a wife that will give him all of the money. Unfortunately for him, he's just...not that smart. I'm not saying Willoughby or Wickham are necessarily smart, but they at least get their plans off the ground. John doesn't even get his foot in the door. He figures out Catherine doesn't have any money and panics. You could fight him, but I honestly think this poor dunce has suffered enough.

William Elliot: Remember how I said Frank ruined the vibe? William Elliot does that too, but on purpose. Just an absolutely rancid man. Fight him and show no mercy.

James Benwick: He's just a little guy. A little fella. A little creecher. He doesn't even have any proper dialogue throughout the whole book. You're gonna fight a little creecher who doesn't even say anything? A little birthday boy? You'd fight him?

[cowboy-queer]

Okay I made a quick post about this but I wanted to elaborate on why I think GOS2 is more like Emma than Pride & Prejudice.

Firstly, Emma is all about matchmaking and social gossip, and how making making assumptions about other people’s feelings can be harmful, especially when one is meddling in the lives of others. Obviously Aziraphale fancies himself a matchmaker with Maggie and Nina. He does more interfering in their life than he should, and it could have very easily turned out bad for them.

Aziraphale and Crowley this season are much more like Emma and Knightley than Elizabeth and Darcy. After only one meeting, Liz hates Darcy, and Darcy loves Liz; their dynamic starts off with them on a different wavelength. Emma and Knightley are on the same level of status as well as already being friends when the book starts. Even if they have a difference of opinion, they view the other as someone they can speak with easily. Aziraphale and Crowley from the start fall into conversation easily. They’re instant friends and confidants.

The Woodhouses and Knightley are the wealthiest people in Hartfield, and while Knightley uses his status to keep to himself, Emma uses hers to influence those around her. Aziraphale, like Emma, has full confidence in his schemes and believes that he knows best. Also like Emma, he has to learn the hard way that his status doesn’t make him immune to doing the wrong thing and hurting others. There was a weird focus this season on just how wrong Aziraphale can be about things when he assumes his angelic status makes him better than humans and demons.

Knightley, on the other hand, doesn’t really have anywhere to grow. His only real struggle is with Emma, and what comes with confessing his feelings to her. Crowley’s difficulty in getting the words out during his confession reminded me of Knightley’s line “If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.” The whole rest of the quote is honestly pretty applicable to their dynamic in season 2. That being said, Crowley doesn’t have much of his own arc this season. He spends it mostly angry at Gabriel (much like Knightley’s distrust of Frank Churchill) and pining over, bantering with, or admonishing Aziraphale. 

It’s kind of shitty that after everything they’d been through in the first season, Crowley seems to be fully realized while Aziraphale seems to still be fumbling with his allegiances and beliefs. He’s supposed to be just as human as Crowley. He should know better; he bit the apple, too. That’s not really relevant to it being like Emma, I’m just frustrated by the writing. I feel like this season focused more on Aziraphale than Crowley but in all the wrong ways.

[error404vnotfound]

JANE AUSTEN RANKED BY YOURS TRULY

hi :]

it is done. I've read it all (*kicks Lady Susan under a rug*) what was that?

anyways

after seven whole months i come to you with the objectively correct ranking of JA main novels, heroines, and heroes

i will not be taking any criticism

let's begin then

on the line today we have

Northanger Abbey with contestants Catherine Morland and Henry Tilney

Sense and Sensibility's Elinor and Marianne Dashwood, Edward Ferrars and Colonel Brandon

Emma's own Emma Woodhouse, George Knightley and Frank Churchill

Persuasion bringing Anne Eliot and Captain Wentworth

and Mansfield Park's Fanny Price, Edmund Bertram and Henry Crawford

v what do you mean Frank and Henry they aren't Heroes why are you ranking them?

well because I can and want to

v what about Pride and Prejudice?

i can't be objective about it or Darcy or Lizzy. it would be unfair to everyone else. tho you are right I will be ranking Charles Bingley I have things to say about the man

cool? cool

THE NOVELS

yes i will only be ranking the main novels (and no lady susan because i dont want to reread it)

LOVED THEM TIER

EMMA

i did not want this book to end, i was having the time of my life. it's just. so good

reading it knowing what is going on was a delightful experience

i love emma and knightley so much

maple grove should burn to the ground. for my sanity

NORTHANGER ABBEY

Catherine carried this book that's all I gotta say

coming of age story but make it the 19th century

below Emma because I can take reading about Maple Grove but not hearing the Thorpes speak

I JUST THINK THEY ARE NEAT :]

SENSE AND SENSIBILITY

I just. think it's neat

I really have nothing else to say. I was invested, I felt for Elinor, and Marianne's evolution was 10/10

fuck John Dashwood for cutting down that tree

IM SORRY JANE (aka the Fail Love Interest Syndrome)

PERSUASION

i was a little bored ngl

did like Anne well enough tho

also. that piano scene. thanks I hate it. it will haunt me for the rest of my life

MANSFIELD PARK

Mary and Edmund ruined this for me in the way that they represent everything wrong with the allos and in the way that i wanted to slap them both out of their nonsense

i also didn't connect much with Fanny so :/

HEROINES

no tiers, just ranking them :]

EMMA (Emma)

I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER

Emma never change

she's so wrong all the time and I love her so much

<3

CATHERINE (NA)

MY GIRL

she's aggressively 17 (affectionate)

a DELIGHT

she grows so much 😭😭😭 im so proud of her

she will be an amazing adult

ELINOR (S&S)

it's the eldest daughter hardship for me

she puts up with so much bullshit from everyone around her

deserves a paid vacation, the right to murder people, and a nap, not necessarily in that order

lowkey carried

MARIANNE (S&S)

I will be the first to admit that I disliked her at first because she was aggressively 17 (derogatory)

but she !!!!! grows so much !!!!!! im so proud of her

always championed her older sister when no one else would and for that i gotta love her

ANNE (Persuasion)

suffers from FLIS (fail love interest syndrome)

girl it's been 8 years supéralo

also puts up with so much the sad bitch I do love her

FANNY (MP)

FLIS

had the chance of marrying Henry but didn't take it (like. I get why. but I'd respect her more for being a I Can Fix It Girlie than settling for the piece of wet bread that's Edumnd)

did not connect with her at all sorry bestie :(

HEROES (and then some)

i will put them into tiers. because I have Issues with most of them. also im judging them solely on how they relate to their Heroine that's the only worth they have to me

FAULTLESS

KNIGHTLEY (Emma - Emma)

what can I say he had impeccable chemistry with Emma

they were married from page 1

he truly cares for her and to make her improve as a person and I love him

COOL DUDE

EDWARD (S&S - Elinor)

my guy

had a scene with big brother energy with Marianne and I was sold

could use a little bit more Standing Up For Your Future Happiness but it's in character so I'll give him a pass

HENRY (NA - Catherine)

he's said to be the best Austen men and while I get why I just. he just wasn't giving to me

but yeah good to Catherine, amazing brother to his sister, knows feminine interests, amiable, etc

suffers from NA was the first book i read back in may so i dont remember much of his moments

LITTLE SHIT <3

CRAWFORD (NA)

my fail boy

the one plot point I enjoyed

let's point and laugh at the flirt that falls in love with the mildest girl ever who dislikes him and then when he's refused has an affair with a married woman

way to go bud ily

FRANK CHURCHILL (Emma)

he's such a piece of shit

was very fun to read

Jane should dump him tho he doesn't deserve her

I'LL BE WATCHING YOU, BUD

BINGLEY (P&P - Jane)

DARCY'S NOT THE BOSS OF YOU, MAN

can't be mad at him for long because of the puppy energy he has tho

BUT MAN THAT WAS ALMOST A YEAR'S ABSENCE YOU GOT AWAY WITH

COLONEL BRANDON (S&S - Marianne)

MY DUDE. WHY DIDN'T YOU SPILL THE TEA SOONER

oh yeah I'll let this Confirmed Rake keep courting the woman I'm in love with while everyone expects them to be either engaged or about to be as I know he's literally the worst, make sense

i just can't wrap my head around it

BOOOOOOO (FLIS)

CAPTAIN WENTWORTH (Persuasion - Louisa Anne)

more like captain failworth

people love this man and I just don't get it

MAN IT'S BEEN 8 YEARS. GET OVER IT

he's spiteful and resentful towards Anne when she did was she had to idk dude grow tf up

almost gets trapped in a marriage with a silly girl because he's dumb (good thing the girl is silly and jumped off a cliff so he could run back to anne) (that's an exaggeration but basically)

your only point of redemption is that by marrying you Anne gets out of the toxic environment she was in

EDMUND (NA - Mary Fanny)

imagine a glass of water. imagine that glass of water under the sun. not just any sun, no, a good midday August Spanish sun. imagine now a piece of bread. good. put that piece of bread inside the glass of water. that's this guy to me

all holier than thou but then spends 98% of the novel thinking with his dick

i. hate him.

takes fanny for granted

marries fanny because it's convenient (AND IN LIKE. THE THIRD TO LAST PARAGRAPH WHEN IN THE PREVIOUS PARAGRAPH HE WAS STILL COMPLAINING ABOUT MARY!!!!!! DUDE!!!!!!)

he's the worst

everyone that sucked gets punished but him

i want to personally kill this man

and that was basically it thanks for coming with me in this journey wow that was fun

hi @my-cursed-prince

[saglaophonos]

frank churchill and jane fairfax secret lovers storyline is the main reason i want to reread emma again though because in retrospect frank churchill is psycho but in a hot way. like frank took "yeah we can't be together out in open society" to mean "i must commit intricately complicated rituals to convince everyone we know that i hate you while also sending you little tantalizing gifts reminding you of my love" and for no reason! and for no reason.

[bethanydelleman]

Do you think the Austen heroines will get along with each other? Who do you think will become close friends and whose personalities will clash? (please include secondary heriones like Jane Bingley, Marianne, Jane Fairfax, Miss Crawford etc.) in your analysis as well

To be honest, I think most of them would get along because of the societal demands of mixing and their solid moral base, but here are some predictions:

Best friends:

Marianne Dashwood & Fanny Price, both of them are super into poetry and rhapsodizing about the outdoors. Marianne can stand up to Fanny's attackers and Fanny can teach Marianne some temperance.

Elinor Dashwood & Jane Bennet, they both are carrying the family in times of need, both disappointed in love through no fault of their own. Elinor's clearer-eyed view of the world would help Jane take off those rose-coloured glasses, but Jane's love and hope would be warm to Elinor.

Elizabeth Bennet & Fanny Price, extrovert/introvert adoption. Elizabeth is delighted when Fanny finally starts to talk and it turns out she's super smart, but she would have kept her anyway.

Jane Fairfax & Fanny Price, in very similar situations and similar personalities, they get each other. Fanny is very worried about this Frank Churchill character.

Catherine Morland & Emma Woodhouse, a healthier and more equal version of the Harriet/Emma dynamic. And given social class, this is one that can be sustained long term. Catherine starts by admiring Emma and then catches up with her.

Harriet Smith & Catherine Morland, they would get so deep into novels together it'd be amazing. The fanfics these girls would write together.

Caroline Bingley & Emma Woodhouse, they would enjoy making fun of Miss Bates behind her back... they would make each other worse. Eventually Emma would look at herself in the mirror with disappointment.

Anne Elliot & Anyone, please anyone who is an intellectual equal. Do you see the people that she has to put up with? It's literal torture. I could see Fanny Price, Elizabeth Bennet, or Jane Fairfax.

Mentor/Mentee:

Catherine Morland & Anne Elliot, Anne is the oracle of all knowledge and Catherine admires her exceedingly. (Fanny Price would also work here)

Elizabeth Bennet & Anne Elliot, Elizabeth could learn so much from her! Anne would see through Wickham in a minute. They could play some duets too!

Georgiana Darcy & Anne Elliot... just send everyone over to Anne Elliot. She's the group mentor.

Instant Hatred:

Elizabeth Bennet & Emma Woodhouse, Emma would be too much like Darcy and Elizabeth would hate her snobbiness. They would likely become friends in time, but it would be after a good deal of dislike.

Marianne Dashwood & Emma Woodhouse, Emma is not impressed by the drama and HOW DARE YOU CALL MR. KNIGHTLEY OLD! Marianne doesn't like Emma's attitude.

Elizabeth Bennet & Mary Crawford, they are similar and their personality tends not to like each other. Also, Mary C would probably try to take a mentor role with Elizabeth (as one who knows about town) and Elizabeth would hate her for it.

Catherine Morland & Marianne Dashwood, Marianne is astounded by Catherine's ignorance, because it tends in a different direction than her own.

(Honestly, the most clashing personalities are Marianne Dashwood and Emma Woodhouse, someone like Elinor Dashwood, Anne Elliot or Fanny Price can put up with almost anything placidly)

Bonus: Miss Bates & Mrs. Jennings would LOVE each other. They would totally talk at the same time. Another older lady pairing that would work is Lady Bertram and Mrs. Allen.

Feel free to add!

[whenthegoldrays]

Taylor Swift x my favorite ships • Day 3

Jane Fairfax x Frank Churchill (Emma)

gold rush

"And the coastal town we wandered round had never seen a love as pure as it / And then it fades into the gray of my day-old tea, cause it could never be"

Literally a forbidden, coastal town romance. "Everybody" wants him. Jane hates feeling the way she does ("I don't like slow motion, double vision in a rose blush") while keeping their secret. She calls him out on his increasingly problematic behavior at a picnic ("at dinner parties I'd call you out"). I am obsessed.

Love Story

"My faith in you was fading when I met you on the outskirts of town, and I said, 'Romeo, save me, I've been feeling so alone. I keep waiting for you, but you never come'"

Their reunion, when he rushes back and begs for her forgiveness I- skdhfhdkslg I have been meaning to write a fic for this for like a year and half 😩 But yeah, basically forbidden romance/angst with a happy ending.

[yzeltia]

Handed Down from Stone

Chapter 15: Etched in Peridot Characters: Y'zel Tia, Leonnioux Ouraux Rating: T for Tunes Notes: Credits to Raymond B. Egan and Gus Kahn for "Ain't We Got Fun", Frank Churchill and Larry Morey for "Someday My Prince Will Come," and "Fix You" by Coldplay

Ishgard - 1565-

"Ave Halone, gratia furorem

Halone, gratia furorem

Halone, gratia furorem

Ave, Ave, Halone

Halone tecum

Benedicta tu in duodecim, et benedictus

Et benedictus impetus hasta

Cum, Fury

Ave Halone"

Y'zel folded his ears after he finished his lines, teacher clapping loudly while the mess of Elezen around him starred, offering disjointed syncopated claps.

"Marvelous Y'zel, simply marvelous! You hit your 'r's a bit hard dear, but I suppose that cannot be helped. Can anyone tell me what Y'zel did there?"

"Didn't turn into a dragon. Guess you're not a full heretic yet, showoff" a voice hissed from behind.

Y'zel whimpered a bit, clutching his robes as someone answered. He didn't know himself and was too busy doing his best to tune out the jeering to hear 

"Cut it out," huffed Leon's voice, followed by the shifting sounds of fabric as he made to nudge his friend, "Y'zel can't help who his father is."

The Miqo’te turned to face the boy, who in turn gave him a nod as if he had something profoundly in defense of him. His fists tightened under his choir sleeves. Whipping his attention back forward, he glowered at the floor, hating that he was stuck up front due to his height, hating that he was told to be good and not defend his dad, and hating his smug peers around him, Leon the most.

-The Final Pillar - Present

“The is a house in La Noseca They call the Rising Sun

And it’s been, the ruin of many a poor boy

And me, oh Llymlaen, for one

Then fill the glasses to the brim

Let the drinks go merrily around

And we'll drink to the health of a rounder poor boy

Who goes from town to town”

Y’zel hummed the rest, washing bar glasses then drying them with his tail, unaware Leonnioux slipped in to listen in. Once sure the glasses were safely out of the Miqo’te’s grasp, Leon cleared his throat and then took a seat on a stool, tilting a bit as he struggled to get comfortable on the wrong side of the bar. “I hate hearing you do that?”

The Miqo’te jumped as he was addressed, quick to wrap his wet tail around his waist to ensure he wouldn’t knock over anything. “What,” he wheezed softly.

“Sing such sad songs.”

“It’s free music…”

Leon shook his head and sighed, “I didn’t mean that didn’t like it. Your voice is beautiful, but the songs you sing…they’re all so melancholy.”

Y’zel looked to the other, ears perking as his partner gingerly slid his finger about the top of a wine glass, letting it ring out. “Do I? I guess I like the way they sound.”

‘Is it because of me…”

The Miqo’te huffed, crossing his arms, “Last time I checked, you were not the Spinner orchestrating every weave of misfortune in my life. And by the Fury if you say you’re Ishgardian I will leave and let my tail fly free on the way out!”

Leon looked up shocked, then softened into a smile, reaching out to take Y’zel by the wrist, “I apologize if my low mood frustrates you. I feel this development is rather delicate.”

Y’zel leaned in then kissed the other’s cheek, “Only you are making it so. I have enjoyed our reunion and what’s come of it. If you really must feel assured, perhaps you should make a more permanent installation in my quarters rather than sequestering yourself behind the bar room?”

“Cohabitation? That’s rather fast. As much as I’d like to go forward like that, it’s premature. I’ve scare spent time with your other paramour.”

“Well, I’m not sleeping here much anymore, and when I do stay here, you tend to join me. I only mean to suggest making your own place in there, so that you might have a bit more space…at least more space than the storeroom.”

“I was assured space would be made available should I desire it so- Though, if you insist, I would.”

“I am insisting you oaf,” Y’zel sighed, pressing his finger into the other’s forehead before returning to the glasses.

“Fine then….Now, perhaps a different tune?”

Nodding, Y’zel hummed then started to sing again,

“Ev’ry morning, ev’ry evening

Ain’t we got fun?

Not much money, Oh, but honey

Ain’t we got fun?” “You’re mocking me aren’t you,” Leon laughed, getting up to wander around the counter, “Another?”

“Amazing Halone, how sweet the fury Who rezzed, a wretch, like me.”

“Don’t be blasphemous,” Leon cooed, kissing the other’s ear as he cleaned.

“Mmm, you’re awfully picky for free entertainment and dishwashing.”

“I am.”

“Mmm.”

Y’zel pursed his lips, closing his eyes thinking for a moment, whipping his tail around the other’s waist to pull him close.

“Someday my prince will come

Someday we'll meet again

And away to his castle, we'll go

To be happy forever, I know,”

“Mmm…and who exactly is your prince? Me? The scientist? Or I loathe to think the rogue.”

“Leon, I am not an orchestration. This is silly.”

“No, No, I apologize. One more, I promise I’ll just enjoy.”

Y’zel narrowed his eyes then thought for a moment.

“When you try your best, but you don't succeed

When you get what you want, but not what you need

When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep…

Stuck in reverse…” Letting it sit, for a moment, Y’zel twitched his ear, hearing Leon inhale then start himself, “And the tears come streaming down your face

When you lose something you can't replace

When you love someone, but it goes to waste

Could it be worse?”

Y’zel flushed, then turned around in the limited space, looking up to the Elezen as he sank down to steal a kiss. Foreheads pressed together, they smiled softly then continued together.

“Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you”

The Miqo’te flushed then leaned up on his toes to kiss Leon, letting the Elezen lift him onto the edge of the sink, their voices silenced as Leon moved to conduct their own melody.