#Emily is exhausted

[a-timely-problem]

Overheard at the BAU

JJ to Emily: "-and then I need you to drive to the airport and get my parents -"

Emily: /stares, not blinking/

Spencer, whispering to Emily: "Are you confused or are you hoping that JJ gives up and asks someone else?"

Emily, out of the corner of her mouth: "Just take one fucking guess"

[sea-buns]

The more I think about this season the more I'm like it really was just a group of children sat at the back of the classroom and Brennan, like every teacher, not getting paid enough for this bs. Zac going "You know I'm not normally like this, right?" because yeah he isn't the kinda player to press for increasingly insane moves, but Emily IMMEDIATELY piggybacking on it like "well if you're gonna let the polite kid do all that, then can I-" was peak troublemaker energy. Also Brennan's very threatening "You will find out. You will find out." at all the absurd requests. Bringing in Rick Perry after Ally throws the hat into the box of doom was the equivalent of calling their parent very loudly in the middle of class to inflict as much shame as possible. Lou eating the hat on a dare and Brennan sounding so distraught. And then looking so relieved that he could pass out right there when he sees it was a joke. Brennan has always been the meme of the guy holding the child leashes but it has never resonated harder.

[cargopantsprentiss]

Leftovers of summer. (check my pinned post for commission info + links to buy prints/stickers etc)

[gorgeousgreymatter-x]

rewatching criminal minds as a bisexual adult is way more fun and also more exhausting because I am no longer singularly crushing on reid

[st4rgirlmar1e]

~she just gets me~

[waitaminuteashh]

tired and exhausted emily is looking very fuckable right now

[queeringclassiclit]

please send me submissions!

[shikariix]

One for all please gimme

I knew you would do this to me AND YET

Emily okay on your own by mxmtoon (feat. Carly Rae Jepsen)

Ohhhh I love this song so much. The vibe is so tasty. This song suits the way Emily has dealt with the majority of her relationships - she's been the one to break up, saying she needs time to herself; that she's not the right person for the other; just generally she's always the one to break it off because she doesn't believe in the relationship anymore. She's not proud of it per se - if anything, she craves a loving relationship. It's just that the ones she's had made her feel like she couldn't breathe. (Of course all of this changes with Beca 😌)

Rahat Burn The House Down by AJR

why DID I add this to his playlist Rahat has a lot of trouble with his identity and once he's clean all of that will come catch up with him at the speed of light. I like how many questions are asked in these lyrics. He's always been the guy to do whatever his friends ask him to, and considering the kinds of friends these were, he's done plenty of stuff that a law abiding citizen would not. I like that this song presents the you-person as a liar because I do imagine these friends have lied to him plenty, and as he's finding his own identitiy, he becomes more aware of what he thinks of that, if that makes sense.

Anna Tears by The Tragic Thrills

I like the vulnerability in this song. Anna is someone who lives by her feelings and she's got a LOT of 'em. It's important for her to remember (and she'd remind others of this constantly!) that it's a good thing to feel so much. We DO have hearts that bleed and maybe we ARE better off having tears so we can weep. I don't have much else to say about it I'm afraid fhjfgf It's a pretty straightforward analysis.

Sara Ghost by Halsey

Okay well part of this is that Sara likes bad girls FDHJGFHJ leather jackets & teasing,,, There's just something about a rulebreaker that draws her in even though she herself follows any rule ever given to her. I think I put this song in here more for the vibes and maybe the feeling that she's lost connection with herself? I might be bullshitting this rn but when I think of her asking 'where did you go' I think more about her inner child as she had to act like a grownup at a very young age because of her upbringing and her mother's disability. Her child self definitely left nothing more than a ghost behind and I think she mourns that more than she would care to admit. But this is probably not the best song to use for this dfhgfjh

Katy Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You) by Kelly Clarkson

DFJHF I know this is like a post-breakup song but for Katy (who is just 16yo) I picked this one because of its unabashed confidence!! Teens do be feeling like nothing can get them down sometimes. She also does have a tendency to think she doesn't need anyone else, partially because finding out she was adopted (single dad) was not the best experience for her. So she says screw it!! I'm cool enough anyway on my own. ✌️

Gabriella The Killing Kind by Marianas Trench

Oh I am SO PLEASED Marianas Trench made it in here hehe. This song gives me super vivid visuals of Gabriella breaking out of the shack she was being held captive in. For context, she's a mutant (like a lot of my OCs FHDJF but it's not always as relevant) and was taken hostage by a group of people who want to eradicate them and she got tortured for information for decades. Gabriella's power is airokinesis, and when a tornado hits the shack, it gives her an incredible powersurge. She uses the wind to break free and take down her captors. And yes, that does include some killing :)

Tiffany #SELFIE by The Chainsmokers

OMG THIS HAS ME BARKING WITH LAUGHTER FDHJFG. Tiff LOVES gossip and selfies, she's chronically online in the bad way hfdgjhg I just can't even find the words to describe how much this song vibes with her 😭 The bitchiness and drama of it all I'm YELLING this was the best one to end on

[nigh-temptation]

I promised some Amulet stuff, so have (another) WIP that I may or may not finish some day.

I did this so long ago but never got around to posting it.

[motherstone]

Sketches, bc I haven't drawn for a long while and I'm trying to ease myself back into it and re familiarize some stuff

Exploring some redesigns. Tried out some simpler silhouettes, to get the vibe of the character. Also, I wanted Emily to look like a kid, which I've always struggled to do. So that's good practice too. I recalled Kazu was inspired by Nausicaa in making her, if you're wondering why her outfit looked familiar.

Book 1 Trellis has always looked so too old, so I tried making him look younger. I'd also wanted him to look more disgusting than I depicted, but this is a simpler style so it didn't make it. There's also me attempting to look both accurate but to make his armor look functional and sleeker for his body type too, rather than clunky as it did in the later books.

Another redesign for later Books Trellis, which I used in a couple of pieces. The Old is New manuscript had a chokehold on me, okay, and I never did like Trellis's glorified bathrobe in book 8. It's an ancient white mage/healer's outfit (in my head), with a chatelaine that has some medical tools hanging from it, like scissors, needle thread etc. In Old is New, it's been described when Trellis donned the robe he looked far more comfortable in his skin than the armor, I hoped it showed in this pose vs the previous one.

[mimiteyy]

Pride todaaayyyy 🏳️‍🌈💕

(she/they)

[unhingedlesbear]

Hoghhh after a long month of defending the following characters from an entire discord server, I'm running back to here to say:

-I love Mark

-I also love Ashley

-I ADORE Emily

-I think Alex is okay

-I like Salim a lot

-I love Rachel

-I love Taylor

I am far less likely to get attacked here than there <3

[l4ndojpg]

Whumptober 2023, Day 26: Working to exhaustion/"You look awful."

fandom: criminal minds | characters: spencer reid (centric), jennifer jareau, david rossi, aaron hotchner | ship: none | trigger warnings: ableism | content: on a case, local officers treat the team badly, dad!hotch, team as a family | word count: 1.7k.

“You look awful,” JJ says seriously, pulling up a chair beside the table Spencer’s working at. 

“Thanks,” he says, pulling a face at her. She doesn’t smile.

“No, seriously, Spence, did you get any rest last night?” 

“A little,” he says, avoiding her gaze and studying the geographical profile in front of him, “but this is more important.” He rubs a tired eye and chews on the end of his pen. 

JJ sighs. He really does look awful, dark purple bags under his eyes and two days worth of stubble littering his chin. He’s wearing his glasses - further proof he didn't sleep last night and forgot to put in his contacts this morning, and he’s got on yesterday's clothes. 

“This case isn’t more important than your well-being,” she says gently. “And you know you work better with sleep and food in your system. When was the last time you ate?”

Spencer shrugs nonchalantly, ignoring most of her words, and pushes himself out from the table, standing up to study the board, frowning. She can see the gears turning in his mind as bounces up and down on the balls of his feet adding up whatever it is in his head that is starting to come together. But she can’t ignore how obviously tense he is, how his fingers tap agitatedly against one another, the permanent frown creased between his eyebrows. How jumpy he’s been. Something is clearly wrong. 

“Come and take a coffee break with me,” she offers, but he shakes his head. 

“I’m okay, thanks.” He doesn’t look at her. She exhales heavily and pushes herself up from the table, re entering the main room the team are using. Hotch and Rossi walk in at the same time as her from the other side of the room. 

“Did Morgan and Emily go take a look at the first crime scene again?” she asks tiredly. 

“Yes,” Hotch says. “Can you two go look at the second one? I think they both need re inspection.” He gestures to both Rossi and JJ, who nod. 

“Where’s Reid?” Hotch asks, frowning.

“Still in there,” she jerks her head towards the breakout room Spencer’s working in. “I couldn’t convince him to take a break.”

Rossi sighs. “Kid’s overcompensating for something,” he says wisely. “Someone’s gotta talk some sense into him before he collapses from exhaustion.”

“I don’t think he’s going to listen,” JJ replies, pursing her lips and wiping a hand across her face tiredly. She’s been growing more and more concerned about Spencer as his behavior has become more self destructive the longer the case continues, and they’ve all approached him without much luck.

“I’ll speak to him soon,” Hotch promises resolutely. “Go look at the Walters house again and let me know what you find. Check in with Garcia, too.” 

JJ and Rossi nod and take their leave. After a moment, Hotch sighs and enters the room Spencer’s in. 

“Reid,” he says, and Spencer jumps about a foot in the air, an expression of fear flitting across his face when his name is said, before he realizes Hotch is the one saying it. Hotch frowns. 

“Hotch!” He attempts to straighten up without much success, and rubs at his eyes as though it’ll get rid of his tiredness. “I think I’ve got something here. Depending on what Morgan and Prentiss find-,”

“Reid,” Hotch says again, more seriously. “I appreciate that this case is important and that we’re running out of time. I would like to hear your theories in a moment. But please,” he gestures to the chairs at the table, “sit down a moment.”

Spencer advances to the table cautiously, like he knows he’s about to be lectured. He all but melts into the chair when he’s there. Hotch takes up the chair next to him, scans him concernedly for a moment, then speaks. 

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” He asks.

Spencer grimaces, and his eyes flick away from contact with Hotch’s. “Nothing’s wrong,” he says. “Why would something be wrong?”

“You’re overcompensating,” Hotch echoes Rossi’s words from earlier, “and for the life of me, I can’t figure out why.”

“I’m not,” Spencer says, rapidly tapping his foot on the floor, “I just want this case to be over.”

“Why?”

“I just-,” Spencer exhales, still not looking at Hotch. It takes him a moment to gather his words. “I really want to go home,” he says finally, in a small voice. This is not what Hotch expects him to say. His eyebrows raise in surprise. 

“Is everything okay? Is your mother alright?” He says quickly, his mind jumping to the worst conclusions possible. Spencer nods, still avoiding Hotch’s gaze. 

“She’s fine. I just, uh. I don’t like it here. Much.” His anxiety is obvious now, his fingers shaking and interlocking and repeating the process, his leg bouncing up and down. 

“I know when you’re not telling me something,” Hotch keeps his voice gentle. “Please, Reid. Spencer. You can talk to me”

Spencer exhales heavily, rubbing at his forehead. 

“I just - you’re just going to make a big deal out of it. And I don’t want that. I just want to prove that I can solve this case and get out of here,” he says, a little bitterly. Hotch’s surprise grows by the second. He reflects on Spencer’s words: ‘I want to prove I can solve this case,’ and something clicks, suddenly. 

“Did someone say something to you?” Hotch says, trying to keep his voice even. “One of the officers?” Small town local officers are always difficult to work with and this bunch have been no exception. They’re often made up vastly of backwards thinking older men, who feel emasculated by the FBI coming in to solve their case for them. He’s already had a few harsh words with one of them after he overheard them using derogatory words to describe Prentiss and JJ. Hotch knows his team can all take care of themselves, but there’s always a risk that Morgan or Prentiss will blow up at them and get in trouble with the Bureau, which he doesn’t want. He’s been careful to keep an eye on his team, but Reid has been glued to the geographical profile while the rest of them have been out in the field, so there have been plenty of chances for one of the officers to have had a chance to say something to him that Hotch hasn’t caught. 

“I don’t know what you mean,” Spencer murmurs, staring at his knees, wrapping his arms around his midriff. 

“Spencer,” is all Hotch says, his voice low. Spencer looks up, finally, and makes eye contact with Hotch, sighing shakily and gives in to whatever has been eating away at him. 

“I know that I’m smart,” he starts. “I know that. It’s an incontrovertible fact. I have an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory and can read 20,000 words per minute. I know I can do things  that no one else can. That’s the beauty of our team. We are all exceptional at different things, it’s why our success rate is so high. But when-,” he inhales shakily, and Hotch’s frown deepens, “but when people who don’t know me meet me they make… assumptions. They only see the things they don’t want to. Like when I stim. Or when I refuse to shake hands with them. These officers,” he gestures vaguely at the door that leads into the main part of the station, “they don’t like people…. like me. I heard them say…” His voice cracks, and he pushes up his glasses, blinking and looking away, clearly unable to go on. 

Hotch’s blood boils. He’s known Spencer for close to six years, knows all of his quirks and needs, is in constant admiration of the work his youngest agent does and the compassionate person he is. Spencer is as much a part of his team - his family - as any of the others. There is nothing he could do or say to change that. The fact that Spencer has been subject to such blatant ableism after so many years of incredible work for the Bureau - hell, even if he’d never worked a day in his life for the Bureau - makes Hotch furious. He swallows down his anger, knowing Spencer doesn’t want him to make a big deal out of whatever it is he’s heard the officers say, and knowing full well he’ll see to it the officers will not get away with it. 

“I’m sorry they said that, Reid,” he says, doing his best to keep the anger out of his voice. “They will not go without consequences, but that’s not for you to worry about now. What I want you to do now is take care of yourself. You have nothing to prove to anyone that cares about you, and those are the only people whose opinions you should care about.” 

“I know,” Spencer mumbles, looking down at his hands, but he doesn’t sound convinced. “They made me feel stupid. I’m not stupid.” 

“No, you’re not,” Hotch agrees. “But I bet you are tired. You’re overworking yourself to prove to them that you’re more than what they say, and I understand why. But you’re not going to be able to keep this up much longer Spencer. You’re hurting yourself.” 

“I know,” Spencer whispers after a pause, looking up. “I’m sorry.” 

“You don’t need to be sorry,” Hotch says firmly. “Those officers are the only ones who need to apologize. Look, I can see that you’ve made several connections here, and the others will be back from the crime scenes soon. I’m going to get you and I some food, and leave you in here for a moment with the blinds closed so you can do whatever it is you need to do to decompress. When the others are back, we’ll talk about what you’ve discovered and if we solve this any time in the next hour or so, you can keep working. You can’t go out into the field in this state, but if we go back out, I will not leave you alone here. Someone will stay. If it looks like we’re going to be here a while longer, you’re going back to the hotel and getting some rest, because I can’t stand seeing you like this,” Hotch says. He doesn’t mean to say the last part aloud, but he does. Spencer’s eyes widen for a moment at the slip in Hotch’s tough facade, then after a moment, he nods. 

“Okay,” he says softly. “Thank you, Hotch. Really.” 

“Of course,” Hotch says, standing up and squeezing Spencer’s shoulder. “Of course.”

[mondieuwordnerd]

I am so exhausted with TV shows that compound women's suffering and misery.

I LOVED the English but I can't help but have a little rant about the trajectory of Emily Blunts character [spoilers, content warning]

When we meet Cornelia she has already been extorted, lost a future with a fiance, and has been assualted.

She has been pregnant, ostracized from her family and society because of the nature of the conception and then she loses her son at 14. She loves that little boy and watches him suffer and die unfairly.

And then she reaches America. She finds herself, faces revenge, shows kindness. She meets Eli - a man who treats her with respect and loves her. "I cherish you"

Then its revealed she's dying from syphilis. In the last scene of the entire show it's revealed she is dying of shame too. She's alone and isolated all over again.

Could the show have just... not done that? I'm not naive, I know a perfect happy ending would of been near impossible with her being an English lady and Eli being a Pawnee man in the 1890s. But could they not have given her some hope? A future, full stop? She'd already endured tragedy, we as an audience didn't need the double down to feel for her character.

[endlich-allein]

Till Lindemann Tour 2023, Accor Arena, Paris, FR, 20-12-2023 @ paul_0701_

[theoakleafpancake]

13. Judgement

“A king must judge, and must be judged.”

The King was dead, Lief’s friends said. And a good thing, too, Lief thought savagely, as again he hurried for home. The king deserved to die for the suffering he had brought to his people.

- The Forests of Silence

“You are a trickster and deceiver!” he cried, slipping his hands under his shirt, feeling the Belt’s fastenings. “No wonder you are doomed to guard this bridge until truth and lies are one!”

- The Lake of Tears

“Perhaps we do,” said Lief bitterly. “But at least our crime is only foolishness. You, however, are a liar. You pretend to be on the side of those who would resist the Shadow Lord, and all the time you help to feed his servants. You deal with Grey Guards as friends.”

- City of the Rats

“Beg?” Lief exclaimed, horrified.

Barda glanced at him, a grim smile tweaking the corner of his mouth. “There are times when pride must be put aside in a good cause,” he said.

- The Shifting Sands

“Do not speak to me of duty!” Lief shouted. “They are my parents!”

“They are my friends,” Barda said, still in that same expressionless voice. “My dear and only friends, Lief, since before you were born. I know what they would say to you if they could. They would tell you that our quest is their quest too. They would beg you not to abandon it.”

- Dread Mountain

Lief stared at the scrawlings with hatred. Nak, Finn, and Milne, he thought, I will remember your names. You are not Ols or Grey Guards, Shadow Lord’s servants, bred for evil. You are free to choose how you act. And you have chosen to prey upon your own people. You have chosen to steal, destroy, and murder. I hope that, one day, I meet you. Then I will make you pay.

- The Maze of the Beast

Even long afterwards, Lief did not know why he said what he did then. It was the impulse of the moment. Perhaps he felt the urge to give Doom some information, as a sign of trust. Or perhaps it was simply that he was tired of lies.

“We are going to the Valley of the Lost,” he said clearly.

- The Valley of the Lost

“You did,” Lief said. “You should not have entered Tora. That was your vanity — and it was nearly your death, was it not?”

- Return to Del

Or perhaps he did. Lief had changed. The old Lief, the Lief Jasmine knew, was brave, and eager for action. She was not sure that she liked the new Lief — the secretive, prudent, kingly one — at all.

- Cavern of Fear

Lief shuddered as a vision of Auris’s terrible death rose before his eyes. He glanced at the Piper with dislike, then looked away, repelled by his coldness.

And yet, he thought…for all his seemingly uncaring words, the Piper had entered the dome. Had put his own life at risk.

- Isle of Illusion

Duty? Lief’s fists clenched.

What had his life been over the past months, but a rigid devotion to duty? Had he not worked til his eyes were burning, hidden himself away from everything and everyone he loved? Had he not kept secrets, suffered being criticised, misunderstood — even hated — because the safety of his kingdom was his first responsibility, and enemies were everywhere?

- The Shadowlands

He knew that it was no use trying to give the people false comfort. They had eyes and ears. They knew only too well that times were hard. They would see through any pretence in a moment.

- Dragon’s Nest

She, at least, thinks Bess is wrong to trust us, he thought. She thinks we are lying. And she is right, of course. We will have to be very careful.

- Shadowgate

“Yes,” Lief said. “I am Lief, son of Endon and Sharn, heir of Adin.” It was hard to speak. The power of the Sister of the West was beating home down. But his heart was aching with pity and rage equally as he gazed into those suffering eyes, and he made himself go on. “And you are Doran the Dragonlover, beloved by the tribes of the underworld, saviour of the dragons of Deltora. The one whose map led me here.”

- Isle of the Dead

“The Torans did break their oath of loyalty, and Lief did forgive them—”

“‘In the innocence and generosity of his youth,’” Lief quoted bitterly. “The writer might as well have said ‘his ignorance and foolishness,’ for that is what is meant.”

- Sister of the South