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#Elul practices
todaysjewishholiday · 18 days
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Elul Practices
Unlike with the high holy days, the shalosh regalim, or even the period of the Omer, there are no specific ritual mitzvot for the month of Elul. Instead, the entire month is oriented around the most fundamental biblical mitzvah: teshuvah, ie return. Return to our best selves, return to HaShem and the covenant, return to the care for each other that can heal the world.
But Judaism doesn’t leave us without resources to promote mindfulness of this work during Elul.
I. Shofar
Many Jewish communities begin weekday shacharit prayers with a shofar blast. This serves as a spiritual wake-up call, a reminder of the upcoming encounter of the Yamim Noraim. In the Torah the sound of a shofar blast proceeded from the cloud atop Mount Sinai at the making of the covenant between the newly liberated multitude and HaShem. Even before Rosh HaShana became the Jewish new year during the exile in Babylon, the first of Tishri was known as Yom T’ruah (Day of the Shofar Blast) or Zikhron T’ruah (the Memorial Shofar Blast). Because the watchman’s sounding of the shofar would also be used to call the community together in times of calamity or attack, the sounding of the shofar served to shake our forebears out of their routines and focus them in preparation for the Day of Atonement ten days later. The sounding of the shofar on each weekday in Elul brings this wake up call even earlier and invites us to set our lives in order.
II. Tehillim
Psalm 27 is also added to the morning and evening prayers during Elul. This change also reminds us of the spiritual focus of the month, with the poet’s appeal, “Hear, HaShem, when I cry aloud; show mercy to me and answer me. My heart tells me to seek your face. HaShem, I seek you.”
III. Selichot
Selichot (from the Hebrew word selichah meaning forgiveness) are special piyyutim written throughout the generations of Jewish history to aid in the spiritual work of teshuvah. In Sephardi communities, the custom is to hold a Selichot service every day beginning on the second of Elul, while in Ashkenazi communities Selichot services generally begin roughly a week before Rosh HaShana, with only four services. Whatever your minhag or personal practice, the selichot prayers can help direct the soul towards the repair that Elul invites us to seek.
IV. Other Practices
In the past half century, the Reform, Reconstructionist and Renewal movements have seen a flowering of new practices to guide teshuvah during Elul. Search the web and you’ll find Elul workbooks and meditations galore. Many Jewish communities across the spectrum also see Elul as a time for interpersonal reconciliation as well as soul-work and emphasize reaching out who we have harmed or offended in the past year to attempt to mend what we can. The work of tzedekah— our obligation to provide assistance to those in poverty from what resources we have— is also a crucial aspect of teshuvah that is explored in many Elul traditions.
Teshuvah is deeply personal, and it’s good to remember that no specific practice is obligatory. These are not mitzvot, they are tools we can draw on as we seek to fulfill the ultimate mitzvah of return to ourselves, our righteous vows, and our G-d.
While this work is deeply personal, I encourage you to counteract the overly individualist and isolating spirit of our times and remember that the heart of teshuvah is in relationship, and in recognizing the webs of reciprocity and community and obligation we’re woven into. Recognizing our collective connectedness is at the heart of the healing that we’re offered through the path of teshuvah, and we cannot repair ourselves in isolation. May your labors this month prove fruitful, whatever type of teshuvah you may choose to seek.
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bobemajses · 9 months
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"Klogmuters", professional mourners, in the Vilna Jewish cemetary, Lithuania, 1924
"Klogmuters" were women hired to wail at funerals, yartseits (anniversary of deaths), during the month of Elul, and if someone was sick. The task of rousing emotions fell under the purview of women – their weeping was meant to inspire the same in others. The tradition was common, under many different names, among Jewish communities of Eastern Europe as well as Central Asia and North Africa, but isn't practiced anymore.
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aprettyjewishyear · 8 days
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elul journal prompt number eleven. thirteenth of elul.
Pick your favorite prayer, story, or practice of the season and drash about it. What does it say about teshuvah?
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extravagantliar · 7 days
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the king is in the field and I am active enough to yell about my favourite jewish holiday for a bit because varric and I share the same favourite holiday of Rosh Hashanah
so some modern headcanons for your (jewish) pleasure:
varric will go and hear the shofar blown at least twice, if not more than that, during elul.
he grew up in a space with a more religious mother and a more lax father. his mother wanted him to go to yeshiva after primary schooling and become a cantor - his father offered to pay for law school; sometimes, he wonders if he should have been a cantor.
holds onto the traditions of his childhood RH, such as a large meal, which has always just been apples and honey - sweet finger foods and fine drinks. he still adores the idea of a wishing tree, and while you won't catch him wearing all white, he will be dressed in his finest.
bet his ass goes to one service, but he doesn't want to talk about it ( and my ass doesn't either; lol I am now a high holiday observer ) - and yes he sits and endures his mother's family and their ire.
fall is actually his favourite season - even though it is his busiest season between work and his high holidays. he does fast on yom kippur, but he still works because his practice is his own and valid and we all interact with the beyond in our own way.
there are more but i keep forgetting
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hebrewbyinbal · 2 months
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How do you say months January to December in Hebrew?
In Israel, most people use a combination of the Gregorian calendar (Jan - Dec) and the Jewish Hebrew calendar (Tishrey - Elul).
That means, that knowing how to say the months in Hebrew goes a long way!
Plus, most of them are similar if not identical to how you say them in English.
Save this video to have the pronunciation nuances to each month as we Israelis say it whenever you need it.
Want to dive deeper, forming any sentence using any new vocabulary that you learn?
👉 Join my unique conversational program - Practically Speaking Hebrew - with over 99% success rate! 🌟
Just let me know you're interested in a comment, and I'll send you all the details in a message 😃
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shoutsindwarvish · 1 year
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this is my first elul while practicing. i have ocd AND social anxiety and so feel guilty over nothing (or something way overblown) that manifests in reassurance-seeking, and so engaging in the traditional reflective teshuvah practices of the season is a recipe for spiraling.
my rabbi said i absolutely shouldn’t do it if it’s going to trigger me and try to focus on self-care and on self-improvement in other ways but didn’t give me a lot of concrete alternatives. anyone else in a similar situation? and, if so, do you have any tips?
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dfroza · 7 days
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A link to my personal reading of the Scriptures
for the 16th of September 2024 with a paired chapter from each Testament (the First & the New Covenant) of the Bible
[The Book of Revelation, Chapter 16 • The Book of Joshua, Chapter 11]
along with Today’s reading from the ancient books of Proverbs and Psalms with Proverbs 16 and Psalm 16 coinciding with the day of the month, accompanied by Psalm 89 for the 89th day of Astronomical Summer, and Psalm 110 for day 260 of the year (with the consummate book of 150 Psalms in its 2nd revolution this year)
A set of posts by John Parsons:
Shavuah tov, chaverim. Our Torah portion this week (i.e., Ki Tavo) includes instructions for the people to ratify the Sinai covenant in the promised land by means of a special ceremony performed in the valley between Mount Ebal and Mount Gerazim (later fulfilled by Israel, see Josh. 8:30-35). During this ceremony the blessings for obedience and the curses for disobedience would be declared, and Moses warned the people by providing a seemingly endless description of terrible consequences that would befall the Jewish people if they disobeyed the terms of the Sinai covenant (Deut. 28:15-68). In Jewish tradition this litany of woe is called the “tochachah” (תּוֹכָחָה), a word that means "rebuke" or "reprimand."
Reading the tochachah is difficult and painful, though it serves as a bitter medicine to wake us up and prevent us from falling into a lethal coma. In that sense the tochechah may be regarded as a great blessing, since it shocks us into experiencing the gravity of God’s grace. This is similar to Yeshua’s grave warnings about the dangers of hell. If we refuse to listen or rush past his words, we are missing the substance of God’s lament given through the Hebrew prophets. Sin is a lethal problem, and we must turn to God for healing or we will die. As Blaise Pascal once wrote, “Between heaven and hell is only this life, which is the most fragile thing in the world.” Therefore shuvah! -- turn to God and receive the blessing of life!
[ Hebrew for Christians ]
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Ki Tavo Summary:
Ki Tavo Table Talk:
Ki Tavo / Elul podcast:
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9.15.24 • Facebook
Our Torah portion for this week (i.e., Ki Teitzei) includes the statement that a man who was to be executed and “hanged on a tree” (עַל־עֵץ) was under the curse of God, that is, was utterly condemned under the verdict of the law (Deut. 21:22-23). According to the Talmud (Nezakim: Sanhedrin 6:4:3), the Great Sanhedrin decided that “a man must be hanged with his face towards the spectators” upon a wooden stake, with his arms slung over a horizontal beam. It should be noted that while this is technically not the same thing as the gruesome practice of Roman crucifixion, the reasoning based on this verse was apparently used to justify the execution of Yeshua (Mark 15:9-15; John 19:5-7; 15). The exposed body was required to be buried before sundown to keep the land from being defiled. Besides the shame of this manner of death, the one so executed would be unable to fall to their knees as a final act of repentance before God, thereby implying that they were under the irrevocable curse of God (קִלְלַת אֱלהִים).
In this connection, we should note that Yeshua was falsely charged with blasphemy before the corrupt Sanhedrin of His day (Matt. 26:65; Mark 14:64; John 10:33) - an offence that was punishable by stoning (Lev. 24:11-16). However, since the Imperial Roman government then exercised legal hegemony over the region of Palestine, all capital cases were required to be submitted to the Roman proconsul for adjudication, and therefore we understand why the Jewish court remanded Yeshua and brought him to be interrogated by Pontius Pilate. Because Roman law was indifferent to cases concerning Jewish religious practices (i.e., charges of blasphemy), however, the priests further slandered Yeshua by illegitimately switching the original charge of blasphemy to that of sedition against Rome. The Sanhedrin undoubtedly rationalized their duplicity because the Torah allowed for an offender to impaled or "hung on a tree" (Num. 25:4), and since they were unable to do carry out this judgment because of Roman rule in the area, they needed Pilate to condemn him to death by crucifixion (Matt. 27:31; Mark 15:13-4; Luke 23:21; John 19:6,15). Note that crucifixion is mentioned elsewhere in the Talmud (Nashim: Yevamot 120b) regarding whether a widow can remarry if her husband had been crucified, as well as by the Jewish historian Josephus. The Talmud furthermore alludes to the death of Yeshua where Yeshua is said to have been crucified on “eve of Passover” (Nezekin: Sanhedrin 43a).
Some say that the word “cross” in the New Testament should be translated as “stake” or “tree” instead, claiming that the shape of the instrument that Yeshua was crucified upon was not cross-shaped or “cruciform.” Now while the Greek word translated “cross” (i.e., σταυρός) is not fully described in the New Testament, according to ancient historians there were different "shapes" of the means used for crucifixion, including the crux simplex (|), the crux immissa (+), the crux commissa (T), and even stakes shaped as an X or Y. The "T" shape (commissa) was described by the historian Josephus, and is likely the form used to crucify Yeshua, since the early Christians all referred to it that way. There are also ancient Greek (pre-Christian era) descriptions of crucifixion. For example Herodotus (450 BCE) wrote: "they crucified him hands and feet stretched out and nailed to cross-pieces," which suggests that the cross immissa or commisa shape was used in ancient times... Incidentally the gruesome practice of crucifixion goes back to the ancient Persians and Phoenicians.
So it is likely that Yeshua was crucified on a stake made of a cedar tree that was formed by attaching a crossbeam to a pole that was inserted into the ground. It is also likely that he carried only the crossbeam, or gibbet, as he walked to Golgotha to be hung up to die, since the stake would likely have weighed 300 pounds or so, and after brutal flogging under Roman whips it is unlikely that even the strongest of men could carry one... Moreover, the description of a Roman soldier putting a sponge on a hyssop stalk to give Yeshua a drink suggests that he was crucified on "short cross," since the stalk was usually less than two feet long. Regardless of the exact shape of the cross, however, death by crucifixion was horrifyingly shameful and unutterably painful.... but Yeshua went there for you.
The Torah clearly teaches there is no remission of sin without the shedding of blood (Lev. 17:11, Heb. 9:22). The sacrificial death of Yeshua as the great “Lamb of God” was intended not only to cleanse us from sin (and to absolve us from the verdict of guilt as required by the law), but was also intended to fully satisfy both God’s justice and compassion (see Rom. 3:22-25; Psalm 85:10). In other words the cross is the place (ha’makom) where Yeshua “became sin for us” - the One who knew no sin - that we might be made the righteousness of God (2 Cor. 5:21). As the apostle Paul wrote: "The Messiah redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us -- for it is written, 'A Man hanged on a tree is cursed...' (Gal. 6:13, quoting Deut. 21:22-23). The Son of Man was “lifted up” to save from death as the brazen serpent (נְחַשׁ נְחֹשֶׁת) in the desert prefigured (Num. 21:9; John 3:14-15). And just before Yeshua died upon the cross, he said something of tremendous significance. Eyewitnesses to his crucifixion wrote, "When he had received the drink (of vinegar) Yeshua said, 'It is finished.' With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit" (John 19:30; Matt. 27:50). In Koine Greek, this final statement is recorded as a single word: tetelestai (Τετέλεσται), a cheer of victory and triumph. In Hebrew, Yeshua might have uttered, “nishlam” (נִשְׁלָם) or perhaps more likely “gemar tov” (גְמָר טוּב), testifying to his fully accomplished atonement (כַּפָּרָה) made on our behalf....
In Greek, the word tetelestai (Τετέλεσται) is an “indicative perfect passive” form of the verb teleo (τελέω) which implies that something has been completed with an enduring effect or state. The verb comes from telos (τέλος), a noun meaning a goal or purpose. Telos is the word Paul used when he wrote: “For Messiah is the end of the law (τέλος νόμου) for righteousness to everyone who believes” (Rom 10:4).
Tetelestai was the cry of victory to the Father. "I have finished the work you gave me to do." What was that work? To establish the new covenant (brit chadashah) between God and man by offering up His life as the atoning sacrifice for humanity’s sins (Heb. 1:3, 10:12). The priesthood of Yeshua is said to be after the "order of Malki-Tzedek," based on a direct oath from God, that predates the operation of the Levitical priesthood (for more information about the role of Yeshua as our High Priest, see the article "Yom Kippur and the Gospel"). Yeshua was the only Tzaddik who ever completely walked out the truth of Torah. He expressed its inner meaning perfectly and embodied its truth in full. The Akedah of Yeshua (i.e., His crucifixion at Moriah) was the altar where the justice and chesed (love) of the Father fully met. If God were not just, Yeshua did not need to die; and if God were not loving, He would not have given up His Son as a ransom for our sin. Justice and mercy kiss.
The Torah (i.e., law) is holy, just and good (Rom. 7:12), but those seeking righteousness based on its demands will discover the tragic fact that it is powerless to impart righteousness and life (2 Cor. 3:7-18). It is sin within the human heart that condemns people - not the law! The crucifixion of Yeshua condemned sin in the flesh (again, not the law) and now the righteousness of God is imparted to those who embrace Yeshua by faith (Rom. 8:3-4). Enabled by the Holy Spirit, with the law now written upon our hearts (Jer. 31:31-3; Heb. 8:10-11), we are empowered to fulfill the requirements of the law based on a new covenant relationship with God (Gal. 2:16, 3:2). We no longer seek righteousness by means of maintaining ritualistic or other ordinances (Rom. 4:5, Gal. 2:16) but by receiving the free gift of Messiah’s righteousness imputed to us through our trust (Eph. 2:8-9). Because of Yeshua’s victory, we do not strive for acceptance before the Father, we abide within it, chaverim (John 15:4).
Imagine for a moment what it might have been like to hear Yeshua cry out, “It is finished!” His final breath, His kiddush Hashem, His spirit given up and now released before the Father - the resonance of this word filling all heaven and all earth - “It is finished! Father! It is finished! I have completed the work that you have given me to do!” Imagine the joy, the celebration, the glory, the honor given to the Son as He appeared before the Father after securing us so great a salvation.
Because Yeshua became our “serpent” upon the cross, all those who have been bitten by the snake and poisoned by the venom of sin may be delivered. Just as the image made in the likeness of the destroying snake was lifted up for Israel's healing, so the One made in the likeness of sinful flesh (Rom. 8:3) was to be lifted up as the Healer of the world. Likewise with the other pictures of our Savior as the “leper Messiah,” as the “red heifer” who purifies from death, as the “scapegoat” sacrifice who sends our sins into exile, and so on. Yeshua is Adonai Tzidkenu - the LORD our Righteousness. Blessed be His Name forever and ever...
[ Hebrew for Christians ]
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Isaiah 53:5 reading:
Hebrew page:
See also:
Podcast:
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9.14.24 • Facebook
from Today’s email by Israel365
Today’s message (Days of Praise) from the Institute for Creation Research
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americanmysticom · 1 year
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THE GARDEN - THE WORLD IS NOT A JUNGLE, THE NATURAL CONDITION OF THE WORLD IS G-DS GARDEN
The seven emotive attributes of G-d, dedicated to the service of G-d. To cleave to G-d by cleaving to His attributes, to emulate G-d, to overcome the evil inclination. This is the will of G-d.
Daily Study
Daily Tanya
Iggeret HaKodesh, middle of Epistle 15 https://www.chabad.org/dailystudy/tanya.asp?tdate=9/6/2023#lt=primary
Wednesday, 20 Elul 5783 / September 6, 2023
But in true fact, with regard to [the sefirot in] the higher, Divine soul, which is a “part of G-d above,”50
all the internal and external attributes are [directed] to G-d alone: the Divine soul is concerned with spiritual things alone so that both its (internal) love and (external) chesed are concentrated purely on G-dliness.
For because of one’s love of G-d and because of one’s great desire to cleave unto Him,
he desires with all his being [to practice] chesed in order to cleave to His attributes.
This accords with the teaching of our Sages, of blessed memory, on the verse, “And to cleave unto Him”51: “Cleave unto His attributes.”52
Just as G-d is compassionate, so should mortal man be compassionate; just as G-d has an innate desire to practice kindness, so should a person’s inner desire to practice kindness be motivated by a desire to cleave to G-d. As to the attribute of chesed, then, both its internal aspect (love) and its external aspect (kindness) are directed purely to G-dly things.
[The threshing floor of G-d represents the separation of good and evil, to expose the good seed - and the dead husk of evil to be thrust away from the good seed, by the host of G-ds protecting angels.
The greatest treasure of G-d, the riches of the soul in service to G-d]
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45minutenap · 1 year
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Set a goal for elul to blow a shofar at least once (just get it to make a sound) and decided to practice every day of the month and 4 days into the month I can actually do it! Now I have all month to practice :')
#p
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todaysjewishholiday · 19 days
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2 Elul 5784 (4-5 September 2024)
The invention of the moveable type printing press in the fifty third century of the Hebrew calendar set off far reaching transformations in numerous human endeavors, with the study of halakha being no exception. Prior to mechanical printing, each copy of any book had to be laboriously and meticulously copied by hand, with the result being that most people simply did not own books. For many centuries after the Talmud was first put into writing rather than being transmitted entirely as an oral tradition through repetition and memorization, most Jewish study was still performed collectively, with hand-copied seforim being discussed and commented on collectively in batei midrash. Hand-made copies had to be very carefully checked to ensure a text remained the same through multiple copyings and variants were still often introduced. And most Jews would not have owned any books personally, with the exception of especially erudite scholars. The printing press made mass production, and thus mass ownership of books, possible. The result was not just more books, but different kinds of books. Most halakhic seforim prior to the invention of printing assumed a high level of expertise from their readers— they were written not for the average Jew but for scholars engaged in the multigenerational process of halakhic rulings, and assumed a high level of familiarity with the entirety of the Tanakh and Talmud and participation in the pandiasporic community of Torah scholarship and halakhic analysis. Those who weren’t already experts in these subjects were assumed to have teachers and colleagues who would guide them as they interacted with halakhic texts. Rather than reading commentaries directly, Jews who weren’t engaged in the lifelong pursuit of Torah learning were expected to consult somebody with that expertise on any practical matter in which they needed guidance.
The printing press, by giving non-experts access to private book ownership, created demand for introductory texts for a general audience without a thorough background in thousands of years of halakhic debate. One of the most legendary texts to meet this demand was the Shulkhan Arukh, a halakhic compendium by Yosef Karo, which was first printed on the second of Elul 5325.
Karo was born into a Sephardi family in Toledo four years prior to the edict of expulsion issued by Ferdinand and Isabella. His family journeyed through a full range of the potential refuges found by Sephardi emigrants, spending five years in Portugal before that monarchy followed suit in expelling Jewish subjects, followed by years in Morocco, Nikopolis, Adrianopolis, Thessaloniki, Istanbul, and finally Tzfat in the Galilee. These travels introduced Karo to a wide range of Torah scholars and communal minhagim, and he began to harbor hopes of creating a halakhic code which would serve to unify Jewish practices throughout the diaspora. Karo’s main text, Beit Yosef, sought not only to state halakhic conclusions in an encyclopedic manner but to provide detailed examinations of the generations of debates behind those conclusions. The Shulkhan Arukh was a reference text which presented only the halakhic conclusions, without the details of the logic by which those conclusions were reached. While the book’s author and a majority of rabbinical sages of the time considered it insufficient for drawing conclusions about halakha due to its simplicity and far from traditional univocality, the book proved hugely popular with the Jewish masses, who wanted a reference text they could keep at home which would offer answers to daily practical questions. It was precisely what Karo and his contemporaries saw as the book’s oversimplification of a gloriously rich and varied tradition that made it approachable and beloved.
Karo himself realized during the process of composing his magnum opus, Beit Yosef, that his youthful hopes for bringing about global uniformity in halakhic practice were misguided. In his later years he spoke out against attempts to use his works to pressure communities with distinct minhagim or who chose to hold by other poskim to adopt his conclusions, emphasizing that Judaism was the process of engaging with halakhic reasoning and debate and should be defined by variety, not an insistence on adherence to any one set of halakhic rulings. And in fact his landmark code, which harmonized generations of Sephardi tradition, was soon joined by a commentary by one of Karo’s contemporaries, Moshe Isserles, which delineated the distinct Ashkenazi minhagim which differed from Karo. This text came to be known as the Mappah, or tablecloth, to the Shulkhan Arukh, or set table, and has been printed as an integrated part of the text beginning twelve years after its first printing. Other integrated commentaries followed as well, injecting the multivocality of Jewish tradition back into Karo’s simplified halakhic compendium. To this day, the Shulkhan Arukh remains the most influential and widely consulted single halakhic code ever compiled.
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mental-mona · 2 years
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laineystein · 3 years
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Some of y’all are lucky it’s Elul and the King is in the field because I am practicing so much compassion and patience with people who otherwise do not deserve it in the slightest.
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practicing forgiveness and patience for Elul really is hard when everyone around you's doing their absolute most in terms of nonsense huh
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hebrewbyinbal · 2 months
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How do you say months January to December in Hebrew?
In Israel, most people use a combination of the Gregorian calendar (Jan - Dec) and the Jewish Hebrew calendar (Tishrey - Elul).
That means, that knowing how to say the months in Hebrew goes a long way!
Plus, most of them are similar if not identical to how you say them in English.
Save this video to have the pronunciation nuances to each month as we Israelis say it whenever you need it.
Want to dive deeper, forming any sentence using any new vocabulary that you learn?
👉 Join my unique conversational program - Practically Speaking Hebrew - with over 99% success rate! 🌟
Just let me know you're interested in a comment, and I'll send you all the details in a message 😃
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progressivejudaism · 4 years
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Rosh Chodesh Elul:  An Affinity Healing Circle for Non-Men
Led by Rachel Abrams (she/her)
Thursday August 20 @ 7:30 PM EST
Sign up here!  (It’s free!)
Description below
Legend has it that at Mount Sinai, the matriarchs of our tradition were gifted with an extra day each month to take off from work, engage in study, and celebrate each other’s fabulosity and friendship.  This sacred day is called Rosh Chodesh, the first of the Hebrew month.
Let's reclaim this ancient practice together in a radically loving and radically inclusive, supportive online space for women and non-men to celebrate a new lunar cycle and the Hebrew month of Elul!
Join Rachel for an intimate evening learning about the origins of Rosh Chodesh, connecting with new friends, and reflecting on Jewish themes in the month of Elul.
We will prepare our souls and our hearts with loving care for the coming High Holy Days, and begin to build a foundation for our Rosh Chodesh ritual to continue each month.
Please bring a candle with you for our Zoom ritual.
*While the origins of Rosh Chodesh rituals center female bodies and menstruation, we aim to create a space that is welcoming for people of all bodies and all gender identities/expressions who find meaning in the holiday!
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chicago-geniza · 3 years
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my friend asked "what books do you read during elul?" & i answered, truthfully, "derrida's 'acts of religion'", then realized why people think i'm a pretentious blowhard--but it was an honest answer! i make it a spiritual practice to re-read the collection, especially "eyes of language," & meditate on repentance & return, di shvue/(ba'al) teshuve, the oath that binds & the call to turn back. i think a lot about an-sky & failed revolutions & what to do with failure.
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