#Ella Berman

[emmatmke]

42% of college graduates never read another book after college.

Prioritize reading. Not only does it stimulate you mentally, it also helps grow your vocabulary.

Here is a recent list of books I have read this year:

The House Across The Lake

Before We Were Innocent

Reminders of Him

Yours Truly

Archers Voice

Holly

Happy Place

Confess

Black Girls Must Die Exhausted

The Next Chapter

Exactly What To Say

Damn Good Advice

30% Happier in 30 Days

[myhikari21things]

Read of Before We Were Innocent by Ella Berman (2023) (365pgs)

[peach-tea-leaves]

On Self-Destruction.

Excerpt from Rainer Maria Rilke’s Selected Letters / Unknown Title by Nicola Samori / Excerpt from “The Girls” by Emma Cline / “Lucretia” by Rembrandt / “Perfume” by San Fermin / “Volta Del Mondo” by Nicola Samori / “Third Eye” by Florence + The Machine / “The Fall of Icarus” by Jacob Peter Gowy / Excerpt from “The Comeback” by Ella Berman / “Ophelia” by John Everett Millais / Excerpt from “The Pisces” by Melissa Broder

[badassbutterfly1987]

The Comeback by Ella Berman

Normally I would do a quick summary and copy it into my yearly book review. But this book was deeply frustrating to read because it had so much potential and just ended up being underwhelming. It's not a good sign when I end a book thinking "wait, is that it?"

CW for book: grooming and rape of a minor by their mentor figure, mental breakdown, suicidal ideation and suicide attempt, slutshaming and bullying of a teenage girl, mention of eating disorders

Plot:

Grace Turner was a child and young adult star mentored by respected director Able Yorke. On the verge of being given a film award, she abruptly had a mental breakdown for reasons unknown to the public and returned to her family. She returns to Los Angeles and Hollywood a year later.

Considering that Grace was a child actress, the content warnings above, and that this was written during the #MeToo movement, you can probably guess where this is going. So yes, Able groomed and isolated her as his personal muse, further abused her when she reached 18, and tossed her aside when he lost interest which led to her breakdown.

One would expect this to be either a powerful perspective of a young woman who had been abused by Hollywood in general and her mentor in specific, or a psychological thriller about her enacting revenge on Able and ruining his career in return. Unfortunately it doesn't really manage to be either.

The characters:

There is no one in this book that I found likable, which isn't a requirement so long as the characters are interesting or entertaining. They are, for the most part, not.

Grace is a mess obviously. She's traumatized and pushes people away even though she wants them to stay and is casually cruel while being apathetic; there is little more to her. Grace returns to Hollywood after her emotionally distant and arguably abusive mother kicks her out. It's less because she actually wants to have another go at her career or wants to face her past, and more that she doesn't know what else to do with her life.

What's her motivation? Does she want to weasel her way into Able's family while he's elsewhere directing and indirectly torment him that way? For all of five chapters. Does she want to go public with his abuse and ruin his career? She intends to but then mostly backs out until a public confrontation in the very last chapter.

She has a younger sister named Esme who increasingly shows up. She has a complimentary arc about slutshaming and bullying when being a teenage girl. The bond between her and Grace is weak but that makes sense because Grace was too busy being an actress to grow up as sisters. She's decent as a character.

Able appears in a couple flashbacks and is obviously a manipulative monster. He's apparently obsessed with making independent films as 'Art' though that's more told than shown. He's apropriately unsettling when he shows up in the current timeline but that doesn't happen until the last quarter of the book.

I can recall some of the secondary characters' names but good luck differentiating them. They are varying degrees of vapid Hollywooders and mildly supportive. It's notable that the character Lana appears in the last third who supposedly was a notable member in a previous scene and is the girlfriend of another supporting character, and I still have no idea who she is and what she did (this one could be just the fact that it took a week to slog through the entire book). There are too many characters with not enough defined personalities.

Able's wife Emilia is arguably interesting. She reaches out to Grace and seems supportive of her return to acting but her kindness increasingly rings false. She casually mentions that she once was jealous of the bond between Able and Grace. Considering that Grace dropped out within a year after her 18th birthday, this thought almost certainly occured when she was still underage, potentially early in her teen years, and she was jealous of Grace instead of being disturbed that her husband might be a groomer and abuser. It's more or else confirmed that she suspected Able's actions but was in denial because she prioritized her perfect marriage with him and their kids. So she is at least interesting.

A journalist is introduced and seems relevant for a few chapters and is brought back indirectly in the ending. She appears in two or three scenes. Like the rest of the cast, she alternates between provoking Grace and encouraging her to go public.

The way the story is told:

To help demonstrate my point I'm going to talk about Darling Rose Gold: Rose grew up chronically sick from an unknown illness until it's revealed that her mother has Munchausen's by Proxy and has been poisoning her for most of her life; she predictably goes to prison for a decade while Rose is surrounded by intermittently supportive adults. Chapters alternate between past Rose living her life and how she changes from her ordeals, and her mother's POV as she re-enters her life and increasingly strange things happen to them. It ends on a shocking and narratively satisfying note that fits the stories of both characters.

This book would have benefited from that kind of structure. Half of the chapters would be about Grace's upbringing in Hollywood under Able's care. The other half would be Grace rebuilding her acting career while facing her trauma and/or getting revenge against her former mentor.

We get continuous moments showcasing the usual awfulness of Hollywood, paparazzi, and child acting. A shame we aren't given more flashbacks demonstrating the strain on teen Grace instead of the scattered moments as current Grace floats around the narrative. Would focus the narrative and hopefully be less of a slog to get through.

The above mentioned journalist implies that there are other actresses that had similar experiences to Grace and her going public could help them. We do not meet any of these women or are told of their experiences.

There is one scene I fully praise for its effectiveness. Grace is sixteen or seventeen and has just tried to fledge out with being in a movie not produced by Able. It's near the end of filming and it's already obvious it's going to be a flop. To destress she goes to a party, tries cocaine and is almost filmed doing so, and gets into a fight with her costar where he calls her a bad actress and the reason the movie's failing while she retorts that it's because he's gay and threatens to out him(?). Because she's surrounded by strangers, she calls Able to pick her up. He takes Grace back to their hotel, comforts all her anxieties while cleaning her up, and stays by her bed until she falls asleep. This is the only scene where he is being fully supportive with no obvious manipulation which makes the knowledge that he has been and will continue to groom makes it incredibly unsettling.

That ending can be summarized as Grace confronts Able on the stage as he recieves his big film reward for two pages, and then everyone claps. What should be the Big Moment instead rings hollow. The epilogue aknowledges that this is more likely to damage Grace's barely rekindled career than result in jail time for Able. It doesn't even really damage his Hollywood career because he was already planning to retire and move away with his family.

Able's legacy is tarnished while Grace's career will be haunted by either being pitied or accused of being a liar. I guess it's more realistic than the typical vengeful narrative of this genre but it's still underwhelming.

The writing itself probably makes it a 3 star but my personal frustrations drop it to 2 stars. I'm going to give the author a little slack because this is her first novel. There is talent buried here and I hope Ella Berman grows as a writer. I will also recognize this is specifically my reaction and, going off of Goodreads reviews, other people will find it effective.

[haveyoureadthispoll]

A summer in Greece for three best friends ends in the unthinkable when only two return home in this new novel from Ella Berman. . . . Ten years ago, after a sun-soaked summer spent in Greece, best friends Bess and Joni were cleared of having any involvement in their friend Evangeline’s death. But that didn’t stop the media from ripping apart their teenage lives like vultures. While the girls were never convicted, Joni, ever the opportunist, capitalized on her newfound infamy to become a motivational speaker. Bess, on the other hand, resolved to make her life as small and controlled as possible so she wouldn’t risk losing everything all over again. And it almost worked. . . . Except now Joni is tangled up in a crime eerily similar to that one fateful night in Greece. And when she asks Bess to come back to LA to support her, Bess has a decision to make. Is it finally time to face up to what happened that night, exposing herself as the young woman she once was and maybe still is? And what happens if she doesn’t like what she finds?

[aschenblumen]

Proust dijo que los grandes textos siempre parecer haber sido escritos en una lengua extranjera. Por el enraizamiento, la obra se entierra en su lengua natal; por la separación, se arranca de ella produciendo «otra» lengua, extranjera desde ese momento a la lengua común. Enraizada, la obra es intraducible. Es subversión de su lengua en el grado más alto. Y aquí tiene lugar una curiosa dialéctica. La traducción, primero, no hace más que radicalizar este movimiento de subversión. Tiene por «fin» llevar la obra siempre más lejos de su lengua. Pero cuanto más se traduce una obra, más se incrementa para ella la posibilidad de enraizarse en su lengua y aparecer como intraducible. Esto no aparecía en el momento de su «nacimiento», en el que este periplo todavía no se había efectuado. Solo aparece como obra de la lengua natal cuando es (re)traducida. Se puede entonces decir que la traducción realiza la relación de la obra con su lengua.

— Antoine Berman, «El comentario, cuaderno 2» en La era de la traducción. «La tarea del traductor» de Walter Benjamin, un comentario. Traducción de Eugenio López Arriazu.

[thelightsandtheroses]

Thanks for the tag @avastrasposts ! 💕

~~~rules: answer + tag 9 people you want to get know better and/or catch up with!~~~

favourite colour: Orange (that sort of 70s/sunset orange) or pink

last song: I Can Do It With A Broken Heart - Taylor Swift (this was on a playlist I was listening to on the way home and i can’t lie, it was a great singing in the car moment)

currently reading: I am so glad I’m not the only one reading multiple books at a time @avastrasposts. I’m currently reading The Comeback by Ella Berman which is pretty interesting so far, I’m also reading Butter by Asako Yuzuki and Into the Woods by John Yorke

currently watching: This is terrible to admit, but I’m between shows at the moment. I recently finished the first part of the new Abbott Elementary and an older Australian thriller series with Anna Torv that was pretty good

currently craving: i keep seeing these videos of an ice cream maker on my social media that makes smoothie bowls and even though I’ve never had a smoothie bowl, I now crave this because clearly I’m too easily influenced by social media??

coffee or tea: It depends on the quality 😂 Good quality coffee is almost always very welcome but if it’s later in the afternoon, I switch to tea. I usually have tea first thing as well and then my coffee(s) I am one of those people who gets passionate about coffee (i like a good flat white, but I’ve been trying black coffee via a v60 recently as my second cup at home)

no pressure tags: @joelsgreys @thetriumphantpanda @trulybetty @tightjeansjavi @yxtkiwiyxt

@iamskyereads @wildemaven @ezrasbirdie @kteague @gnpwdrnwhiskey

[psyeince]

why r there so many gingers

maybe its the various showdown blogs ive followed but there r a lot of gingers in the media and ive taken it upon myself to sort them into the categories of gingers and redheads, this took me an hour and a half and my eyes r physically burning, my bad if i missed a character or two

gingers

riley williams (we are the tigers)

ocean oconnel rosenberg (ride the cyclone)

caleb widogast (critical role)

itsuka kendo (my hero academia)

donna noble (doctor who)

batgirl (dc)

beverly crush (star trek)

ginger fitzgerald (ginger snaps)

nami (one piece)

mito freecss (hunter x hunter)

wendy corduroy (gravity falls)

alfredo linguine (ratatouille)

william “dex” poindexter (check please!)

wylan can eck (six of crows)

ichigo kurosaki (bleach)

mafuyu sato (given)

gimli (lord of the rings)

akane hino/cure sunny (smile precure)

daphne blake (scooby-doo)

reisuke houjou (mirai nikki)

fiona (shrek)

risa koizumi (lovely complex)

dexter (decters laboratory)

kim possible (kim possible)

cady heron (mean girls)

katheryn janeway (star trek)

shoyo hinata (haikyuu!!)

himaru kenshin (samurai x)

rosetta (tinkerbell)

amy pond (doctor who)

firestar (warrior cats)

rand al’thor (a wheel of time)

kaoru and himaru hitachiin (ouran high school host club)

asuka langley soryu (neon genisis evangelion)

ponyo (ponyo)

crowley (good omens)

athen cykes (ace attorney)

bloom (winx club)

samael keene (homesick)

kenny luckstar (homesick)

tulip olsen (infinity train)

wanda maximoff (marvel)

max mayfield (stranger things)

christine “ziggy” berman (fear street 1978)

buffy gilmore (scary movie)

theo (scary movie 2)

gideon nav (the locked tombe)

cal kestis (star wars)

hiromi higa/shadow (sk8 the infiniry)

anne shirley (anne of green gables)

hercules (hercules)

vicky (fairily odd parents)

suzuki shou (mob psycho 100)

reigen araraka (mob psycho 100)

rowena macleod (supernatural)

jack merridew (lord of the flies)

raven (theyll never catch us)

polly plantar (amphibia)

jay ferin (just roll with it)

natasha romanoff (mcu)

giselle (enchanted)

winnie sanderson (hocus pocus)

candace flynn (phineas and ferb)

phineas flynn (phineas and ferb)

leon kuwata (danganropa)

childe (genshin impact)

akito shinonome (project sekai)

garfield (garfield)

ruby roundhouse (jumanji: welcome to the jungle)

tasuki (fushigi yugi)

lysandre (pokemon)

monkia (doki doki literature club)

misty (pokemon)

aviendha (wheel of time)

coran (voltron)

ashlynn ella (ever after high)

sparrow hood (ever after high)

holly o’hair (ever after high)

poppy o’hair (ever after high)

futaba sakura (persona 5)

anna (frozen)

general hux (star wars)

kanon tachibana (the world ends with you)

ron delight (ace attorney)

kyo sohma (fruits basket)

rei yasaku (do it yourself!)

diluc (genshin impact)

gren (the dragon prince)

chiyo sakura )gekkan shoujo nozaki-kun)

philip j fry (futurama)

felicia sundew (amphibia)

blossom (power puff girls)

april o’neal (teenage mutant ninja turtles)

junichirou tanizaki (bungou stray dogs)

captain amelia (treasure planet)

rachel elizabeth dare (percy jackson)

emma (the promised neverland)

penny polendina (rwby)

elizabeth afton (five nights at freddys)

orville elephant (freddy fazbears pizzaria simulator)

dana scully (x-files)

atushi otani (lovely complex)

merida (brave)

puss in boots (shrek)

little my (moomin)

quasimodo (the hunchback of notre dame)

sora takenouchi (digimon)

ikuyu kita (bocchi the rock!)

gwen tennnyson (ben ten)

ahiru/duck (princess tutu)

eda clawthorn (the owl house)

shallan davar (stormlight archive)

clary fray (shadow hunters)

keyleth (vox machine)

ms. bellum (power puff girls)

zarine (the pirate fairy)

chuuya nakahara (bungou stray dogs)

subaru akehoshi (ensemble stars!! music)

yuta aoi (ensemble stars!! music)

hinata aoi (ensemble stars!! music)

jenny bennett (monster house)

nick wilde (zootopia)

redheads

tomo aizawa (tomo-chan wa onnanoko!)

kirishima eijirou (my hero academia)

hikaru shidou/lucy (magic knight rayearth)

urbosa (breath of the wild)

bowser (mario)

operetta (monster high)

knuckles (sonic)

poison ivy (dc)

starfire (dc)

silver (pokemon)

ranma saotome (ranma 1/2)

will vandom (w.i.t.c.h)

grell sutcliff (black butler)

undyne (undertale)

janai (the dragon prince)

red guy (dont hug me im scared)

wendy (wendys)

ronal mcdonald (mcdonalds)

anastasia romanova (anastasia)

anzu hoshino (romantic killer)

michizou tachihara (bungou stray dogs)

ezra scarlet (fairy tale)

lizzie hearts (ever after high)

shirayuki (snow white with the red hair)

reki kyan (sk8 the infinity)

luna (scooby-doo)

zarzamora (saber marionette j)

jessica rabbit (who framed roger rabbit)

707 (mystic messenger)

kyle broflovski (south park)

souma yukihira (food wars!)

circus baby (five nights at freddys: sister location)

mikoto mikoshiba (gekkan shoujo nozaki-kun

karma akabane (assassination classroom)

kineshi hairo (saiki K)

ariel (the little mermaid)

clifford (clifford the big red dog)

rinne amagi (ensemble stars!! music)

hiiro amagi (ensemble stars!! music)

mao isara (ensemble stars!! music)

[the-oblivious-writer]

wait here are MY face claims that i came up with when i was reading which means it’s all very interesting cause it was late.

i could see olivia as saylor curda or maybe even liza soberano (i will admit though seeing the name i immediately thought of rodrigo)

i couldn’t figure out avery but emily rudd as cindy berman popped into my head but it doesn’t feel right

and i had SO many ideas for vicky but none of them stuck

( i don’t know if you’re active on twitter but i did have the sudden urge to use ella purnell and sophie nélisse as face claims because of that one unhinged smau where their fan names are vickie and anna)

Imma be so real, Olivia was 100% inspired by Rodrigo 👀 and anon, you ate with these face claims - totally see the vision

I'm still stumped with who I'd choose for Avery and Vicky because although I'm able to envision them while writing, the face claim part is still hard since they're pretty new. Olivia's new but the difference is I've been planning her arrival/the premise of her character for a while. But I'm sure it'll come to me like Henry's face claim did

(btw, I'm definitely taking these face claims into consideration)

[beautifulfaaces]

Masterlist - Female Green Eyes

2000s

Addy Miller

Ava Kolker

Amirah Johnson

Beatrice Kitsos

Caitlin Carmichael

Ella Ballentine

Ella Rubin

Isla Johnston

Larsen Thompson

Mackenzie Foy

Megan Scott

Melissa Collozo

Sky Katz

90s

Alana Boden      

Alba August

Aleece Wilson

Alexandra Tikerpuu

AJ Michalka

Ali Collier

Alicia von Rittberg

Alina Bobyleva

Alina Boz

Alina Kovalenko

Alycia Debnam-Carey

Allegra Carpenter

Amine Gülşe

Amy Forsyth

Anna Grace Barlow

Brec Bassinger

Breezy Eslin

Brenna O’Brien

Cailin Russo

Caitlin Carver

Camren Bicondova

Catherine Missal

Chloe Grace Moretz

Danielle Campbell

Dove Cameron

Eda Ece

Emma Appleton

Ester Expósito

Esti Ginzburg

India Gants

Frances Encell

Isabel Hodgins

Jella Haase

Jenna Boyd

Júlia Molins

Katerina Tannenbaum

Laura Bilgeri

Lauren Froderman

Lauren Jauregui

Lauren Potter

Leonie Benesch

Lexi DiBenedetto

Lilli Camille Schweiger

Lola Rodríguez

Louisa Connelly-Burnham

Lucy Boynton

Luna Marie Schweiger

Madeleine Coghlan

Madisen Beaty

Madison Davenport

Madison Lintz

Marielle Scott

Meredith Mickelson

Mia Healey

Natacha Karam

Nell Tiger Free

Paula Beer

Pauline Burlet

Pinar Deniz

Rachel Matthews

Riley Voelkel

Romi Van Renterghem

Sabrina Bartlett

Savannah Baker

Sophie Turner

Stephanie Styles

Tiera Skovbye

Ulrikke Falch

Vanessa Grasse

Willa Holland

80s

Abbey Clancy

Abbie Cornish

Alex Paxton Beesley

Alexa Chung

Alexa Davalos

Alexandra Turshen

Alissa Jung

Alison Sudol

Amanda Seyfried

Amy Winehouse

Ana Beatriz Barros

Ana de Armas

Angelina Häntsch

Avigail Harari

Bar Paly

Beren Saat

Carrie MacLemore

Claire Boucher

Clara Alonso

Darla Baker

Eliza Coupe

Elizabeth Knowelden

Elle Evans          

Emilia Clarke

Emily Baldoni

Emily Tremaine

Esther Povitsky

Felicity Jones

Genevieve Angelson

Georgia King

Haley Webb

Hannah Ware

Hilarie Burton

Isidora Goreshter

Jasna Fritzi Bauer

Jen Lilley

Jenna Dewan

Jessica Keenan Wynn

Jessica Lowndes

Joy Lauren

Julia Hartmann

Julie Marie Berman

Kate Lambert

Kate Phillips

Katie Cassidy

Katie Leclerc

Kayla Ewell

Krysten Ritter

Laura Bell Bundy

Lauren Cohan

Lindsey Kraft

Lucy Hale

Mallory Jansen

Marcella Lentz-Pope

Maria Sole Mansutti

Meg Steedle

Meghan Ory

Melissa McIntyre

Monika Reithofer

Paige Spara

Priscilla Quintana

Rachael Taylor

Razane Jammal

Rebecca Breeds

Sara Canning

Sarah Power

Shelley Regner

Tammin Sursok

Yasemin Kay Allen

70s

Adamari López

Alison King

Amber Valletta

Angela Kinsey    

Anna Torv

Artemis Pebdani

Becki Newton

Brandy Clark

Brooke Elliott

Charlize Theron

Christina Applegate

Constance Zimmer

Dorian Brown Pham

Erica Durance

Ginnifer Goodwin

Jennifer Morrison

Jessica Chastain

Jill Flint

Julia Parker

Kathy Kiera Clarke

Keri Russell

Leslie Bibb

Melissa McCarthy

Niki Karimi

Portia de Rossi

Sabrina Grdevich

Sarah Rafferty

Stephanie Waring

Traci Dinwiddie

60s

Alexandra Paul

Amy Ryan

Catherine Tate

Elisabeth Shue

Emily Procter

Francie Swift

Gia Cardis

Julianne More

Kelly Rutherford

Marcia Cross

Mary Page Keller

Melina Clarke

Natascha McElhone

Rebecca Stab

Sherry Stringfield

50s

Allison Janney

Chloe Webb

40s

Diane Keaton

[grumpygrouper]

next on my tbr is before we were innocent by ella berman. this is the book for the book club that i joined so I can make friends as a young adult

[mhkeiger]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: The Comeback Paperback by Ella Berman.

[boomgers]

Lady Gaga, como nunca antes la habías visto… “Gaga Chromatica Ball”

Ante 52.000 personas, Lady Gaga ofrece una actuación que definirá su carrera en el Dodger Stadium de Los Ángeles durante su gira Chromatica Ball Tour. La grabación ofrece grandes momentos de espectáculo e íntimos números a piano, con coreografías de infarto, intensa pirotecnia y una serie de cambios de vestuario como solo Gaga lo sabe hacer.

Lady Gaga es una artista e intérprete única, su álbum pop más reciente, ‘Chromatica’, supuso su sexto número uno consecutivo en la lista de Billboard 200, convirtiéndose en la primera artista femenina en conseguirlo durante un periodo de diez años (2011·2020).

Cita de Nina Rosenstein, vicepresidenta ejecutiva de HBO Programming, Late Night & Specials: “Lady Gaga es toda una potencia. Es una artista única que nunca se contiene, y Gaga Chromatica Ball pone de manifiesto su interminable lista de talentos. Estamos encantados de volver a colaborar con ella en este impresionante concierto especial”.

Estreno: 25 de mayo de 2024 por HBO y en Max.

Dirigido por Lady Gaga, este concierto especial cuenta con la producción ejecutiva de Bobby Campbell, Arthur Fogel, John Janick y Steve Berman.

[aschenblumen]

Every culture resists translation, even if it has an essential need for it. The very aim of translation —to open up in writing a certain relation with the Other, to fertilize what is one’s Own through the mediation of what is Foreign— is diametrically opposed to the ethnocentric structure of every culture, that species of narcissism by which every society wants to be a pure and unadulterated Whole.  * Toda cultura se resiste a la traducción, aunque tenga una necesidad esencial de ella. El objetivo mismo de la traducción –abrir por escrito una cierta relación con el Otro, fecundar lo Propio a través de la mediación de lo Extranjero– se opone diametralmente a la estructura etnocéntrica de toda cultura, esa especie de narcisismo por el que toda sociedad quiere ser un Todo puro y sin adulterar.

— Antoine Berman, «The Manifestation of Translation» en The Experience of Foreign. Culture and Translation in Romantic Germany. Traducción de S. Heyvaert.

[mommydearestella]

WHO THREATENS TO DRIVE SOMEONES FRIENDS AWAY?

THE PEOPLE ASSOCIATED WITH THIS TERRORISM CAMPAIGN DIRECTED AT ME.  THESE IDIOTS GO AROUND THREATENING FRIENDS OF MINE AT TIMES DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY, TRYING TO BRIBE THEM, LYING TO THEM AND ALL IN AN ORCHESTRATED EFFORT, AS THREATENED MANY TIMES, TO DRIVE MY FRIENDS AWAY.  IRONICALLY AND THIS IS ONLY MY OPINION I THINK EVERYTIME SOMEONE BECOMES ANGRY FOR SOME REASON  THAT IS ASSOCIATED WITH THIS CAMPAIGN THEY TRY TO PUSH AWAY ANOTHER FRIEND AND I STRONGLY SUSPECT THAT PERSON IS ELLA  AND I HAVE ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT THROUGHOUT THE CAMPAIGN OF TERRORISM DIRECTED AT ME.  IT IS OBVIOUS TO ME THAT SOME SCENARIO IS SET UP IN ADVANCE TO MAKE SOMETHING LOOK A CERTAIN WAY TO JUSTIFY CERTAIN ACTIONS.  IT IS WELL KNOWN THAT WE HAVE BEEN BITTER ENEMIES FOR 30 YEARS NOW.  A CAMPAIGN OF TERRORISM REGARDLESS OF WHAT IS THOUGHT OR POSSIBLY EVEN SHOWN TO OTHERS.  IF SO YOU CAN BET WHAT REALLY GOES ON IS NOT WHAT IS TOLD OR SHARED WITH OTHERS.  THIS BS HAS GONE ON FOR NEARLY 7 YEARS THAT I AM AWARE OF AND STARTED LONG BEFORE THAT, UNKNOWN TO ME, IN LESS INTENSE WAYS.  DENNIS FELCHER AND CYNTHIA FELCHER HAVE STEADFASTLY MAINTAINED THAT THEY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ANY OF THIS AND HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE AT ALL ABOUT ANY OF THIS BS DIRECTED AT ME REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOMEONE CHOOSES TO CALL IT.  IF ANYONE READING THIS DOES IN FACT KNOW THAT DENNIS FELCHER AND/OR CYNTHIA FELCHER DO HAVE KNOWLEDGE OF THE EXISTENCE OF THIS CAMPAIGN DIRECTED AT ME WHAT DOES THAT TELL YOU?  IT TELLS ME THAT ANYONE WHO WOULD DO THAT WERE NOT HONEST FROM THE START AND EITHER HAVE SOMETHING TO HIDE OR CONCERNS ABOUT THE POTENTIAL RAMIFICATIONS FROM WHAT IS BEING DONE.  DOES ANYONE THINK THAT ANYONE BEHIND THIS CAMPAIGN DIRECTED AT ME ACTUALY HAS GOOD INTENTIONS AFTER 7 YEARS DAY AND NIGHT IN BACK TO BACK SEGMENTS?  WHAT KIND OF A MORON WOULD JUST LET SOMEONE COME IN AND DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?  THE KIND THAT WILL BE THERE READY TO SAY THEY HAD NO IDEA TO TRY TO ESCAPE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR CRIMES.  AGAIN WHAT KIND OF AN IDIOT ALLOWS THIS TO GO ON FOR 7 YEARS  DENYING TO ME THAT ANYTHING AT ALL IS GOING ON?  ISN’T THAT IN FACT GASLIGHTING ITSELF RIGHT THERE. WHO OWNS ANY GROUP THAT IS PAID OR HAS TIES DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY IN SOME WAY TO ANY CAMPAIGN OR EFFORT DIRECTED AT ME?  I GET THE FEELING THESE PIECES OF GARBAGE ARE TRYING TO SET ME UP, SPY, EDIT, MANIPULATE, PAY OTHERS TO SAY AND DO CERTAIN THINGS AT CERTAIN TIMES, AT TIMES IN AN ORCHESTRATED EFFORT TO PORTRAY ME AS SOMEONE WHO HAS SOME SORT OF MENTAL IMPAIRMENT.  I MIGHT BE PISSED OFF BUT NOT CRAZY... YET.  I CAN THINK OF ONLY ONE REASON FOR THIS AND IT COMES DOWN TO MONEY OR THE CONTROL OF IT.  IT COULD BE RELATING TO ANYTHING IRREVOKABLE WHICH IS UNKNOWN TO ME IF ANY SUCH ASSET OF ANY KIND EXISTS.  IT COULD BE RELATING TO THE DECISION MAKING AND/OR CONTROL OF AN ESTATE, OF ANY ASSETS IN TRUST, ETC.  I AM AWARE OF NO TRUSTS IN WHICH I AM ENTITLED TO ANYTHING AT ALL, TO WHICH I HAVE EVER BEEN A BENEFICIARY, I HAVE NEVER RECEIVED A DIME FROM ANY TRUST... PERIOD.  THE ONLY ASSETS OR MONIES RECEIVED BY ME WAS ABOUT $75,000. A LITTLE OVER 30 YEARS AGO FROM MY GREAT UNCLE AL BERMAN IN NORTH MIAMI BEACH AND APPROXIMATELY $6000. DOLLARS ALREADY DEPOSITED INTO A PASSBOOK SAVINGS ACCOUNT AFTER MY GRANDMOTHER ADELE KAUFMAN FELCHER JACKOWITZ IN NY PASSED AWAY ABOUT 39 YEARS AGO.  THERE WERE NO ADDITIONAL BEQUESTS OF ANY KIND, NO PROPERTY, NO SHARES IN ANY TRUSTS, NOTHING AT ALL.  AFTER EVERYTHING THAT HAS GONE ON OVER THE PAST 7 YEARS IT WOUD NOT SURPRISE ME IF INHERITANCES, ASSETS WERE HIDDEN SOMEHOW FROM ME ALL THESE YEARS.  IN RETROSPECT I THINK THAT IT IS HIGHLY UNLIKELY THAT THERE WERE NOT INHERITANCES OR SHARES OF SOME SORT OF TRUST (ONE OR MORE) RELATING TO MY GRANDMOTHER ADELE JACKOWITZ OR MY GREAT GRANDPARENTS MAX AND FRIEDA KAUFMAN WHO RESIDED IN NY AND MIAMI BEACH AND WHO ARE OR WERE WELL KNOWN TO PERSONS AT HADDASSAH.

[aprocessblog]

Maybe my mom was right about me when she said I wasn’t happy, but what she doesn’t understand is since the age of fifteen, I’ve never dared to want to be happy. I’m just trying to stay alive.

- The Comeback by Ella Berman