#Elephant Killed

[thevoidstaredback]

It's always graveyards. Why is it always graveyards? They're creepy as hell and, well... that's it. On the bright side, the Protection Spirits watching the gates recognize him and realize the danger he's in. Well, maybe he wasn't in real danger because the Bats and Birds don't really do the whole purposefully harming civilians things, but they are scary as hell! Chasing him down like a bat straight outta hell- obviously he was gonna run! They cornered him! Maybe he'll invest in getting them lessons in how to interact with people in and out of costume?

Honestly, Nightwing, Danny expected better of you. At least Red Hood and Signal know how to treat innocents.

Here's the thing about Protection and Guardian Spirits, though. They don't like intruders. If you're running from something and you don't have time to ask permission to enter, you best say "thank you" and bring them shiny things on your next visit. If you do have time to ask permission, you ask permission. If they think you're a threat or rude, they won't let you enter whatever they're guarding.

"Thank you," Danny said as he slowed to a walk further into the graveyard, the sound of the gates slamming closed behind him confirmation that the Bat and his gaggle wouldn't be following him in.

Wasting no time, Danny pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. It was a handy little thing he'd picked up during his stay in the House of Mysteries. Draw and door, tell it where you wanna go, open it, and go through! Beetlejuice style. Though, unlike what the Handbook for the Recently Deceased says, these doors won't actually open a door to the afterlife. He fixed that tiny glitch a while ago.

Anyway, a quick few chalk lines on the side of a mausoleum later, and Danny was opening a door to Fawcett, Philadelphia. Probably not the best choice, considering that he was trying to stay away from the Justice League, but it's better than Metropolis.

"Whoa." Damn it! He should've stayed home. "What was that, mister?"

Danny made sure the door closed behind him, praying for strength. Why did he feel like several deities were laughing at him? "Hey, kid. Can you, um, maybe not say anything about that?"

The kid, short brown hair and a red jacket stood out the most to Danny for some reason, seemed very amused. "You're gonna have to buy my silence."

Again, Danny let out a quiet, long suffering sigh. "Coffee is so not worth it." Looking at the kid, he said, "Alright, fine. I was getting coffee anyway, I'll buy ya lunch. Know any good places?"

Grinning, the kid cheered, "Hell yeah! Follow me!"

Resigned, Danny followed after the kid, easily keeping pace. About a block later, he figured he should probably get the kid's name. "I'm Danny."

"Billy."

"No last name?"

"Fae rules, dude. What's your excuse?"

He had to give it to him. "Touché."

Another three blocks of walking, Billy finally stopped at a cafe. It was a quaint place with stained white brick and a dark grey roof. There were metal chairs and tables outside the building surrounded by a wrought iron fence. The table umbrellas and the awning over the black door were light blue, matching the curtains in the inside.

The inside walls were painted baby blue with a white ceiling and a pinewood floor. The tables and chairs were all stained black with light pink cushions and table cloths. The curtains, as observed before, were all baby blue, tied back with baby pink ribbons. The lights were barely yellow, giving the room a warm feel. The counters were white with black paneling on the outside and white granite as the tops.

"Welcome in," the young man at the register greeted with a smile, "What can I get you two started with today?"

Danny envied the man. He'd obviously not been doing this long enough to gain the veteran's shine to his eye. He turned to look at the menu after telling Billy to get whatever he wanted. A mistake he'll probably pay for. "I'd like a large Red Eye, equal parts coffee and espresso, with cinnamon, honey, chocolate syrup, mint, and vodka, please."

The 'newbie' light in the man's eyes dimmed a little bit. "Um, we don't carry vodka." Glad that's the only thing he's worried about. Priorities.

Danny clicked his tongue. "Oh, well, it was worth a shot. I'd like everything else, though, please. Mix it at your own discretion."

"Alright," he was very valiant to go back to grinning, "Anything else?"

Danny motioned for Billy and the kid stepped up. "Can I get a large mocha, three chocolate chip cookies, and two sandwiches?"

The blond entered the order. "Of course! That'll be $25.37." A quick card swipe from Danny. "Thank you very much, we'll have your order out to you soon!"

The two didn't say a word as they chose a table in the corner. Danny let Billy take the seat that was open to the rest of the cafe so he wouldn't feel cornered. He had a good view of the door, though, so he wasn't complaining.

"So, how'd you do that?" Billy asked after they'd gotten their orders.

"How'd I do what?" Danny sipped his drink.

"How'd you walk outta that wall? It's solid!"

"Magic."

"I guessed that much."

"Then why'd you ask?"

"Will you teach me?"

"No."

"You didn't even think about it!"

"Okay," He paused. "No."

"Not fair." he pouted.

Putting his drink on the table, Danny summed as much fake-it-till-you-make-it energy as he could. "Magic isn't a toy and takes years of practice to get a handle on, not to mention you have to actually have an aptitude for it before you can even try. Besides, I don't know you nearly well enough to trust you with anything else."

Billy finished the cookie he was eating. "I can do it! You just gotta teach me!"

Another sigh that Danny had stopped counting. "Look, you seem like a good kid, but I'm not gonna teach you magic."

"Why not!"

"However," he continued, ignoring the demand, "I'm not gonna leave ya fully defenselessness."

"What do you mean?" Billy backed away slightly, his eyes narrowing as he moved to be able to run quickly.

Another sip. "Based off of the dirt you're covered in, the grease in your hair, and the overall poor condition of your clothes, I'm gonna bet that you're a street kid. So," he pulled a small card from his pocket, very aware that Billy was watching his hand aptly, "I'm going to leave you with this."

Slowly, the brunet took it and turned it over. "What it is?"

The white card had the initials DP in the middle, circled by an Ouroboros. The initials were completely solid, but the snake of the Ouroboros was made up of tiny runes of protection and health and healing and good fortune.

"My calling card. If you're ever in danger, hold that to your chest and ask for help. I'll be there."

Still obviously suspicious, Billy took a moment to scrutinize the card. It was cute to watch the kid act like he knew what he was looking at or for. When he seemed satisfied, he shoved the card into the inner pocket sewn into his jacket. "Thanks."

"No problem, kid," Pulling out his phone, Danny saw the time and stood, "I've gotta go now. I assume I've sufficiently bought your silence on the whole magic thing?"

Billy grinned, "I guess, but you gotta come visit me, okay?"

He chuckled, "Sure thing. See ya."

Part 2 Part 4

(I don't drink coffee, so Idk how that shit works)

Tag list: @zaiothe4th

[albaharu]

got his dad kidnapped, his friend kidnapped, mizora is waiting for him at camp and his favorite clown got killed. terrible day for the blade.

also he was made to be the perfect trickster hero lying to the baddies with that high charisma so i got him to do the talk

[elodieunderglass]

I know an adult skunk would be too big, but in my heart this fluffy ball of anger and fear is Bee:

[ID: a picture of a baby skunk in defensive posture with erect and puffed tail. end ID]

[ID: a baby skunk adorably sleeping curled up in a little ball in a person's hand. end ID]

Safely tucked in Chil's neck warmer

(In reference to the Dungeon Meshi daemon-AU fanfiction in which one guy has simply decided to be secretive about his daemon to the point of it being deeply weird)

Thank you so much!! that is the perfect creature and a really, really clever choice and I love her so much.

I really regret that we do actually have to physically meet Bee at some point because it is so much funnier not to.

I also have to say, I don’t know why people who sell their writing get so mad when people guess their plots! Like when you hear about the Game of Thrones/ Star Wars etc guys changing their plots because people were guessing plots and having theories based on the FORESHADOWING THEY PUT IN.

I am completely surprised and excited by how people’s guesses for Bee have gotten closer and closer and how many have landed on the mark. Genuinely very exciting and satisfying and not what I was expecting. The feeling is very good, and it feels collaborative and motivational.

I don’t know what the point I’m trying to make here is, but I think it’s that foreshadowing is fun to set up and also fun to pay off, and that I like it when people guess what’s going on! We are all playing a game involving lying with words and it is collaborative! I think paid media would be more fun if people had more fun making it!

[yuckybusiness2]

Packed Pachyderm 🐘

[cozystars]

the bros now have a new passion to share :)

bonus!

[id in alt]

[rockosaur]

[that-spider-witch]

Seeing people constantly put HAL 9000, GLaDOS and AM in the same character group or drawing them together or next to each other in any context is so funny to me because... bro, do you really know these characters, no seriously do you really, do you realize how utterly innocent those first two are compared to the sheer embodiment of pain and petty hatred that is AM?

Of the two at least GLaDOS does happen to have a cruel and sadistic sense of humor, and even then I don't believe for a second she and AM would vibe with each other at all, at least not for long. As for Hal... Do not put my man in the same category as that psycho, he didn't do shit! Free him!

[th3basementdweller]

Hello Camp Here & There fandom

[moonlitkissing]

It's that time of night when calling up a friend and asking for casual sex feels like a good idea

[themintman]

Mousecraft Dan and Trayaurus 😋

"but trayaurus isn't in mcsm so why is he in an mcsm au?" CAUSE I DO WHAT I WANT 💥💥💥 I want to start drawing for more fandoms again after mcsmtober is over anyways el oh el

[hiseyeisonthesparrow]

Me on the general conference shared google doc furiously typing out the most banging quotes from my favorite general authorities:

[thevoidstaredback]

Enough Caffeine to Kill an Elephant

Listen. It was an accident. He didn't mean to! It just kinda happened.

So maybe he brought a drink with enough caffeine in it to kill an elephant within a few minutes, and maybe he forgot to put the sleeve on his cup so he could tell it apart from the others, but it's not his fault! He didn't think anyone else was going to have the exact same Yeti cup as him! It's not like he'd seen any of the others carry one before. Besides, he worked with superheros. They should be smart enough to check before drinking someone else's drink.

Danny had been summoned by the Justice League Dark a few years back in order to help with a world ending crisis and he just didn't leave. It's not like he could go anywhere anyway. His ghost half hadn't grown past fourteen and his human half had stopped visibly aging at eighteen. He'd had to leave town as Danny Fenton, but he'd stayed in Amity Park as Danny Phantom. When his parents died of old age, thank god, he'd closed down the portal, stuck around for a few more years, before traveling the world as Danny Fenton.

Anyway, he'd taken up residence in the House of Mysteries after the JLD had summoned him. Constantine, at first, had been wary, but he and the rest of the JLD had grown to accept him. He was an honorary member of the team.

At some point, just after Robin had become Red Robin, Danny had been introduced to the Justice League. He liked those guys, too, and worked with them sometimes. Though, he usually only went to bug them.

Red Robin had been very interested in the fact that his was fourteen and working with grown heros, like he was one to talk, but Danny hadn't explained anything other than saying that he had died and come back. The following conversation was an interesting one that lead to Danny knowing that Nightwing was the Batman he'd met and that Batman was lost somewhere. He'd confirmed that the man was not dead, but he hadn't offered to help look for him. He probably should have, in retrospect.

Back on topic! Everyone in the JLD knew not to touch Danny's drink. They'd all seen him make it before and had been horrified on varying degrees. It's not like it could kill him. He's already half dead! So long as he only drank this specific brew as Phantom, he'd be fine.

The Justice League, apparently, didn't get the memo. He blames Constantine because Zatanna and Raven can do no wrong. No, John, he's not biased.

The point is, Red Robin just had a sip of Danny's drink. The horror he now felt was akin to the fear he held when he'd told his parents he was Phantom. (An interaction that had gone very well, thank you very much.)

Danny knew the exact moment that the vigilante realized he grabbed the wrong drink. His eyes widened to an astonishing degree, and, if he'd been able to seen his eyes behind the mask, Danny knew that the man's pupils would've completely overtaken the irises. His hands started shaking, too. Oh, no. The man's already addicted to hellish amounts of coffee. This is only going to make it worse!

Quickly, and without drawing any attention, thank the Ancients, Danny rushed over. "You, um, you okay, man?" Obviously not, but he tends to talk when he's anxious and he was certainly anxious right now. He could've possibly just killed a man via poison!

"What the fuck is in this coffee?" Red Robin asked, going to take another sip.

Danny pulled the Yeti from his hand and gave him the proper one. "Enough caffeine to kill an elephant."

"Obviously not, seeing as I'm still alive."

"Yeah, I can't tell if that's a good thing or not."

"Excuse me?"

"I-I mean-! I didn't-! You know what I mean." Caffeine is poisonous in excess, and his drink was way beyond excess, but it's the only thing that works for him as a ghost! Superpowered metabolism and all that.

"Do I?" The laugh in his voice answered for him. He took a sip from his drink and frowned at it. "I don't think any coffee will ever be enough again."

"And that's my cue to get my drink very far away from you." Danny turned, fully intent on moving to the other side of the room. Besides, the meeting was going to start as soon as the Flash and Kid Flash arrived, which would be soon. Something about one of their Rouges getting out?

"What?" Red Robin asked, "Why?" If he was a little desperate to get another sip of that coffee, he'd rather not acknowledge it.

"Because you don't need anymore lethal coffee," he muttered, "The sip you took will already keep you awake for three days at least, and it probably jump started an addiction. Best to stop it now. Besides, I need to go have my crisis on how the hell you're still alive after even a sip of this stuff."

"Again, rude." The bird themed vigilante crossed his arms as best he could while holding his cup. "If it's so dangerous, why do you drink it?"

Danny took a deliberate sip as he locked eyes with the technically younger man. "I'm dead. I don't need to worry about my heart stopping or having a seizure."

"Excuses."

"No, it's not 'excuses'. I'm saving your life."

"You're a kid. If I can't have that coffee, then you shouldn't be having it."

"First, I'm older than you. Second, I already told you: I'm dead. This isn't going to hurt me. Third, you can't tell me what to do."

"There's no way you're older than me. You're like, ten."

"I'm thirty-eight!" He balked, "I only look fourteen because I died when I was fourteen. We've been over this."

Neither noticed the entire Justice League looking at them. The two they were waiting on had arrived a few minutes ago and everyone was ready to start the meeting, but they'd been distracted by the two's conversation. Was that true? Had Phantom really died so young? They'd all been made aware he was not living, but they didn't think he'd died so young! Though, that was probably the denial speaking.

The Justice League Dark had been fully aware of this and didn't really bat an eye. Though, someone should probably get this meeting started. A potentially world ending threat was the topic, and that was a pretty important thing to discuss.

Captain Marvel was the first to pull himself together, though that was only after Atlas and Zeus had mentally slapped him out of his stupur. "As, ah, riveting as this conversation is," he stepped between the two boys- er, boy and man? "we really need to start this meeting."

Batman did not clear his throat because he'd not lost his voice in the first place. "He's right. Everyone take your seats."

Storyboard Part 2

[blorbologist]

Percy & Keyleth: 81

81. Arthas, My Son (Cinematic Intro) by Neal Acree and Jason Hayes

By Percival’s estimate, Keyleth is roughly five hours into Plant Growth when she asks, “Do you think we’re doing them proud?” 

“Well - the Ravenites are proud, but I don’t think they would necessarily be proud of us. Pleased, though? Yes.”

Her sigh is aimed such that it kicks hair out of her face. Efficient. “No, not that - you remember Westruun, right?” Of course he does - Percy nods. “I’ve just - you know - been thinking, because I have a lot of time to think while doing this. And that whole legacy thing kept coming to mind, and I mean -” 

Keyleth inhales sharply. All the plants inhale with her, new growth green leaning towards her as though she is the sun. Reflexively, Percy sucks in a breath too as she says, “Would our parents be proud of us?” 

That breath gets stuck in him. Caught on a rib. “Keyleth, of course your mother would be proud of you.” (There is a reflex to add so proud, but it feels like an echo his weakly beating heart can’t share.)

“I haven’t completed my Aramente, though. And - I guess, I don’t know. So much of what I have done I’ve only done with all your help.”

He gestures to the craggy land around them. In the hours since Vorugal’s death a swift thaw, more dramatic than any spring, has taken the mountains: snow beads with meltwater and sweats rivulets that tear through the white expanse. Beneath lies dry grass and soil so thick with roots even this moisture does not turn it to mud - and as he watches those roots sprout, that grass tremble upright.

“None of us would have thought to give them this,” Percy says. “None of us could have - that’s all thanks to you. You, Keyleth.” Giving it more thought, he adds, “We would probably be up to no good without you. Though maybe there would be less collective jail time.”

She laughs with a little shrug - not quite the gangly gesture he has grown used to. “Thanks, Percy. And sorry to be all, I don’t know, mopey after we killed a dragon again. It’s just… hard, with - you know. Her.” 

Yes. Raishan.

“The staff is probably quite heavy too.” Percival points out lightly. Keyleth reflexively holds the Spire of Conflux straighter - its last wielder had been another Ashari leader, after all. Softly: “I’m sure you will handle it just fine - and your people, too.”

“Thank you,” Keyleth repeats. “And - for what it’s worth - I’m sure all those de Rolos of ages past are proud of you, too. Bringing Whitestone back from the brink and all.” 

… He would beg to disagree. It still feels like he somehow let it fall in the first place - and failed it further by skipping out on statecraft to run around playing hero. By getting himself killed.

“You know what, Keyleth? They would be.”

Usually. Usually he would beg to disagree. But not right now, as buds sprout around his mud-damp boots.

(By Percival’s estimate, it’s been roughly two hours since he kissed Vex’ahlia, so perhaps his perspective is a bit skewed. His parents always had a tender spot for young love.)

Send me a character / pair of characters / AU & a number from 1 to 100 & I'll write a little something inspired by that song!

[horridlittlesewergirl]

"kill them with kindness"

WRONG

ancient psychic tandem war elephant

[faefrosting]

I love drawing my goobers and @urbanqhoul 's goobers together

Jelly loves making new friends! Happy friends make a happy Jelly too!

Excited for when more Whimsy and Angel Lore to drop, they are honestly such cool characters

[gremnda]

*monotonously reading from cards* i love minecraft roleplay