#Elaine Smith

[moonstar-and-her-puppy]

Contemporary Pool Tampa

Inspiration for a large contemporary backyard tile and custom-shaped infinity and privacy pool remodel

[transgenderchild]

Contemporary Pool Tampa Inspiration for a large contemporary backyard tile and custom-shaped infinity and privacy pool remodel

[pseudxcode]

Pool Privacy in Tampa Inspiration for a large contemporary backyard tile and custom-shaped infinity and privacy pool remodel

[blackbrownfamily]

Black Panther Party For Self Defense

[sinligh]

In an alternative universe, i can imagine another version of myself

one in a stable relationship happy in the arms of a lover.

Toned down paranoia, and Indulgent pleasure.

I worry that that version of me is delusional

in love, but alone in it that I’ll somehow miss the signs of an emotionally absent partner the way I missed my father…

And yet, I’ll come up with excuses because I never felt comfortable with pointing my finger

that I’ll overcompensate.. Nest in the apex of their heart and believe that there’s no way higher

that the hierarchy is nothing but guilt inducing anger.

It's easy to love me;

i grew up in a household where it's acceptable to sacrifice your own soul in exchange of feeling like your existence is convenient.

As years went by, I learned to love that feeling eventually more than life itself..

i lost a lot of myself watching my mother hand feed me all that she is, all that she wanted to be, then sneak bites of who she was before she had me..

now, i think i can be whoever a lover needs me to be.

Then when they’re not around I’ll let my pieces fall down and hope that somehow they’ll align…

this terrifies me...

I don't want to settle and passive smoke my own life, set in the corner and inhale the damage even when it isn't mine.

I love love, I just don’t think it’s for me...

In a lecture about addiction, our doctor said

“The neurobiology of love is the same as neurobiology of addiction"

To me, that makes sense for i lose all my edges whenever I'm submerged in a wave of it.

My ends melt trying desperately to reach out even when i don't really know how to direct them to anyone other than myself

Paint them orbits to circle around me and feed them rays of hope

"our paranoia won't last forever"

At least that's what I whisper as i try to keep them close enough, not too much;

I don't want eternity

“I only wanna die someday”

I wrap them around me every night until i suffocate in an embrace trying to comfort all the atoms of love that are lost in me...

I’ll come to an end; and you'll be free.

•••

•Quotes: Roland Barthes/ Angelea Lowes/ Anaïs Nin/Mahmoud Darwish/Mary Oliver/ Ottessa Moshfegh/Elaine Kahn/ Natalie Wee/Carole Maso/Tracy K. Smith/Halsey/chelsea g. summers/ Anne Sexton.

•Original context: sinligh

•Art reference:

1. Art by Lisa Lach-Nielsen. 2.Quoted, 2008, oil on linen by Jen Mazza. 3. Choke, 2008, oil on linen by Jen Mazza. 4. Ceruse 87, 2008, oil on linen by Jen Mazza. 5. A girl with pomegranate (detail) by William-Adolphe Bouguereau. 6. An Interior with a woman seated by Lampligt by Christian Valdemar Clause Danish. 7. Photo by Soul Eom. 8. "two people" by Mila Plaickner. 9.Art by Lisa Lach-Nielsen

P.s: writing this felt like:

“It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me”

Song rec:

[drolesdedalesalbumphoto]

L'épisode "La fuite".

[mias-playground]

Model Steph Claire Smith by Elaine Marshall

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Song of the Day - “Since I Fell For You”

Today marks the 65th anniversary of the recording of the great organist Jimmy Smith’s album “Home Cookin’”, which he recorded at Rudy Van Gelder’s studio in New Jersey on May 24th, 1959 …. with Kenny Burrell on guitar, Donald Bailey on drums, and Percy France on tenor sax.

This track features just Jimmy Smith with Burrell and Bailey - no sax…

This song, written by Buddy Johnson, is a great one for the duo of Smith and Kenny Burrell…

Jimmy Smith is a mood. He has a completely unique style which sets that mood. And sometimes it is just the thing.

(Mary Elaine LeBey)

[poet-dreaming]

Marilou is Everywhere has me thinking about what it means to empty. How you can surprise yourself by what you are capable of. The lies we tell ourselves and the lengths we will go to to hold on to something.

Cindy Stoat is just a girl who wants to be seen, and my heart breaks for this weird, feral girl.

The prose in this book immaculate.

[greenelectricsky]

First day of Cats 1998 Anniversary Celebration! I'm so happy! Today prompt: favourite actor.

And after first excitment I'm sad now. I don't have a fav! I don't know them personally, so I can't say "That one I like, that one don't". I love all of those wonderfull people, because they changed my life. Because of their hard, unusual work they together created somethin amazing, something... well, lifechanging. So, I want to say "Thank you! You are the best! I love you!" to all of them!

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[motionpicturelover]

"California Suite" (1978) - Herbert Ross

Films I've watched in 2023 (112/119)

[spiltsoup]

Obsessed with Georgia, Ally, and Elaine’s friendship. They’re having an absolute blast together screaming at that light bulb.

BEN SHUT UP LET THEM HAVE FUN

[bobbie-robron]

I’ve got what it takes, don’t you worry. The car just provides a venue, that’s all.

Robert has his driving test scheduled for the 22nd of July and asks Jack up for more money towards his car while offering to take him and then, both Debbie and Donna at the cafe, for a spin when he passes. Robert makes a bet with Elaine that she won’t pass her driver’s test at the first go (apparently because she’s a girl, it makes it very unlikely 🤨).

04-Jul-2003

[gbhbl]

Horror Movie Review: Trick or Treat (1986)

A bullied metal head obtains a mysterious demo record of a recently deceased hard rock star with startling consequences. Featuring rock gods Gene Simmons and Ozzy Osbourne.

Trick or Treat is a 1986 American horror comedy film, directed by Charles Martin Smith. Starring Marc Price and Tony Fields, with special appearances by Gene Simmons and Ozzy Osbourne. High school outcast Eddie Weinbauer is writing a letter to his hero, heavy metal musician Sammi Curr. A vulgar and infamous superstar, Sammi is a hometown hero of Eddie’s town and an alumnus of Eddie’s own…

[gameofthunder66]

Anger Management S01E01 Charlie breaks his own knee

-(finished) watchin’ Season 1- 11/3/2024- 3 stars- on Xumo Play (FX)

23% Rotten Tomatoes

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Mary Elaine LeBey

* * * *

The Sun, Mad Envious, Just Wants the Moon Patricia Smith out of the way. It knows that I tend to cling to potential in the dark, that I am myself only as I am beguiled by the moon’s lunatic luster, when the streets are so bare they grow voices. The sun has lost patience with my craving for the night’s mass-produced romance, that dog-eared story where every angle is exquisite, and ghostly suitors, their sleek smells exploding, queue up to ravish my waning. Bursting with bluster, the sun backslaps the moon to reveal me, splintered, kissing the boulevard face first, clutching change for a jukebox that long ago lost its hunger for quarters. It wounds the sun to know how utterly I have slipped its gilded clutch to become its most mapless lost cause. Her eye bulging, she besieges me with bright. So I remind her that everything dies. All the brilliant bitch can do for me then is spit light on the path while I search for a place to sleep.