#Echo and Octavia have such a great relationship to watch

[reallygroovyninja]

Something Blue

Clarke stood at the foot of the stone steps leading up to the grand church, her eyes tracing the intricate carvings on the archway. The air was filled with the scent of fresh flowers and the distant sound of joyous music from inside, but for Clarke, it all seemed distant, almost surreal. 

As she watched couples and families enter the church, laughing and chatting in their elegant attire, a sense of dread settled in her stomach. She was supposed to be one of them, full of anticipation and joy, but instead, she felt like an outsider looking in. 

Her hand instinctively went to the necklace Finn had given her, a habit she hadn't been able to break even months after their breakup. They had talked about marriage, about a future together. If things had gone differently, if they had still been together, maybe it would have been them sending out wedding invitations, choosing flowers, and tasting cake samples. 

But that dream had crumbled just like their relationship, leaving her with a heart still tender from the loss. She remembered the nights she spent planning their hypothetical wedding, the places they would go, the life they would build. And now, standing outside this church, those dreams felt like echoes from someone else's life. 

Taking a deep breath, Clarke adjusted the clutch in her hand and forced a smile. She was here for her friend's happiness, not to dwell on her own broken fairytales. Yet, as she took the first step towards the church entrance, each movement felt heavier, weighed down by the ghost of what could have been. 

Inside, the wedding would be a celebration of love, a reminder of the commitment she once thought she'd have by now. But Clarke Griffin was no stranger to overcoming pain and adversity. With a final glance at the church's ornate doors, she steeled herself for the flood of emotions that awaited her and stepped forward, leaving her lost dreams on the steps behind her. 

Inside the church, away from the bustling crowd of guests, Lexa found herself in a quiet corner with Lincoln, the groom. The grandeur of the church's interior, with its stained glass windows casting colorful patterns on the floor, formed a stark contrast to the nervous energy emanating from Lincoln. 

"Hey, let me help you with that," Lexa offered gently, noticing Lincoln fumbling with his bowtie. Her hands were steady and skilled as she reached out to adjust the slightly askew accessory. 

Lincoln gave her a grateful look, his hands falling to his sides. "Thanks, Lexa. I can't believe I'm still nervous about getting this right," he chuckled nervously, trying to mask his pre-wedding jitters. 

"It's normal to be nervous," Lexa reassured him, focusing on perfecting the bowtie. "It's a big day. But you know, everything's going to be great. Octavia is lucky to have you." 

As she smoothed out the fabric, Lincoln's gaze was thoughtful, almost introspective. "I'm the lucky one," he murmured. "I never thought I'd find someone who understood me like she does." 

Lexa smiled at his words, a tinge of wistfulness in her eyes. "That's what makes it all worth it, doesn't it? Finding someone who gets you, who stands by you no matter what." 

Lincoln nodded, his expression softening. "Exactly. And hey, don't worry, Lexa. Your person is out there too. Someone who will see you for the amazing person you are." 

Her smile was a mix of gratitude and melancholy. "I hope so." 

With the bowtie now impeccably in place, Lexa took a step back, giving Lincoln an encouraging pat on the shoulder. "There, you're all set. Octavia is waiting for you. Go make some beautiful memories." 

As Lincoln moved towards the altar, Lexa lingered in the shadows, her gaze drifting across the church. She couldn't help but feel a sense of solitude amidst the celebration of love around her. Yet, there was also a quiet strength in her stance, a resilience that spoke of her journey and the hope that still lingered in her heart. 

As Clarke entered the church, she felt the weight of dozens of eyes glancing her way. A friendly usher, noticing her hesitation, offered his arm. "This way, Miss. You're seated on the bride's side." 

Gratefully, Clarke accepted his assistance. As they walked down the aisle, her gaze swept over the opulent decorations. The church was adorned with an array of beautiful flowers, their fragrance subtly perfuming the air. Above, the stained glass windows painted the interior with a kaleidoscope of light, casting ethereal patterns on the guests. 

The guests themselves were an assortment of familiar and unknown faces. Couples whispered to each other, children fidgeted in their seats, and older relatives looked on with sentimental smiles. Each person seemed to radiate a sense of joy and celebration, yet Clarke couldn't help but feel a twinge of envy at their apparent contentment. 

Her eyes then fell upon the groom, Lincoln, standing at the altar. He looked both nervous and excited, embodying the very essence of a man on the brink of a new life chapter. Beside him stood a woman, her back turned to Clarke, skillfully adjusting his bowtie. Something about her posture, the confident way she moved, piqued Clarke's curiosity. 

As the woman finished her task and stepped back, she turned slightly, allowing Clarke a glimpse of her profile. Even from a distance, there was an unmistakable strength and grace about her. Clarke found herself momentarily captivated, her own anxieties momentarily forgotten. 

The usher gently guided Clarke to her seat, breaking her line of sight. As she settled into her place, she couldn't help but glance back towards the altar, the image of the mysterious woman lingering in her mind. The ceremony was about to begin, but Clarke's thoughts were already weaving a story about the stranger who seemed so at ease in a moment that felt so pivotal. 

After ensuring Lincoln was ready, Lexa quietly slipped away to find her seat on the groom's side. The church was filled with a gentle hum of anticipation as the guests eagerly awaited the ceremony's start. Lexa moved with a quiet grace, her eyes scanning the rows until she found her designated spot. 

As she settled into her seat, the lights dimmed slightly, signaling the ceremony's commencement. The guests hushed, turning their attention to the back of the church. The opening notes of a soft, melodic processional filled the air, and all heads turned in unison. 

Then, there she was – Octavia. She appeared at the entrance, radiant and ethereal, her gown flowing behind her like a cascade of liquid moonlight. Every detail of her attire, from the delicate lace to the subtle shimmer of her veil, spoke of elegance and grace. 

Lexa watched, a warm smile playing on her lips. She had seen Octavia go through highs and lows, and now here she was, taking confident, poised steps towards a new chapter of her life. Lincoln's face, awash with emotion, mirrored the awe and love that filled the church. 

The guests were visibly moved, some dabbing their eyes, others smiling broadly. Lexa's gaze briefly swept over the crowd, noting the varied expressions of joy and sentimentality. Her eyes briefly met a blonde across the aisle, a fleeting connection that lingered just a moment longer than necessary. 

Clarke's heart swelled with affection for her friend; Octavia, who had always been more like a sister, was about to embark on one of life's most beautiful journeys. 

As Octavia gracefully made her way down the aisle, Clarke's eyes were drawn to her, witnessing each confident step that brought her closer to Lincoln. There was something incredibly moving about the scene, something that stirred a mixture of emotions within Clarke – joy for Octavia, nostalgia for what could have been, and a lingering sense of loneliness. 

In a brief respite from her emotions, Clarke's gaze wandered across the aisle. It was then that her eyes met a brunette’s. The connection was fleeting, a mere moment in which two strangers acknowledged each other's presence. Yet, in that brief exchange, Clarke sensed an unspoken understanding, a shared feeling of being solitary in a room full of paired souls. 

The brunette’s eyes held a depth that intrigued Clarke, a hint of empathy and strength that resonated with her own feelings. The moment passed quickly as Octavia approached the altar, but the brief connection left a lingering curiosity in Clarke's mind, a small spark amidst the solemnity of the ceremony. 

The ceremony was a tapestry of emotion and beauty, woven with the threads of love and commitment. As Octavia and Lincoln exchanged their vows, their voices filled with the depth of their feelings, the church was enveloped in a sense of sacred solemnity. The vows echoed not just as promises to each other but as affirmations of the power of love. 

Clarke, watching from her seat, felt a whirlwind of emotions. The sincerity in Octavia's voice, the way Lincoln's eyes shone with unshed tears, all of it reminded her of the fragility and strength of love. Despite her own heart's recent scars, she couldn't help but be moved by the beauty of the moment. It was a poignant reminder of what love could be, what it should be. 

Across the aisle, Lexa observed the ceremony with a quiet respect. The depth of the couple's commitment, the way their hands clasped tightly, spoke volumes about the journey they were embarking upon. As someone who valued strength and loyalty, Lexa found a deep appreciation for the solemnity and joy of the occasion. 

When the officiant finally pronounced Octavia and Lincoln as husband and wife, the church erupted in applause. The sound was like a wave of happiness washing over everyone, uniting them in a shared moment of joy. As the newlyweds turned to face their guests, their faces radiant, Clarke and Lexa joined in the applause, each lost in their own reflections. 

The moment the couple walked down the aisle, petals and light surrounding them, Clarke caught the brunette's eye again. This time, the connection lingered a bit longer, a silent acknowledgment of the beauty they had both witnessed. There was an unspoken understanding, a shared experience that momentarily bridged the distance between them. 

As Octavia and Lincoln passed by, their happiness seemed to light up the room. Clarke felt a smile tug at her lips, genuinely happy for her friend, while Lexa's eyes followed the couple with a soft, reflective gaze. 

The reception was held in a beautifully decorated hall, where tables adorned with elegant centerpieces and soft, ambient lighting created a welcoming atmosphere. Clarke entered the hall, her eyes scanning the room for her assigned table. The chatter and laughter of the guests filled the air, mixing with the soft melodies playing in the background. 

She navigated through the crowd, her hands lightly brushing against the fabric of her dress. The table numbers, elegantly written on small placards, guided her through the sea of guests. As she located her table, a sense of relief washed over her. The thought of finding a familiar face in the crowd had been a small beacon of comfort. 

Approaching her table, Clarke glanced at the place cards, searching for her name. Finding it, she sighed softly, preparing herself for an evening of polite conversation with acquaintances. However, as she took her seat, she couldn't help but notice the person seated to the right of her spot. 

It was the brunette. 

The same woman who had helped the groom with his bowtie, the same woman she had shared a fleeting, yet memorable, glance with during the ceremony. Lexa was already seated, her posture relaxed yet elegant, a glass of wine in her hand. She looked up as Clarke approached, their eyes meeting once again. 

"Hi, I'm Clarke," she said, extending her hand with a polite smile. 

"Lexa," came the reply, accompanied by a firm, warm handshake. There was a hint of recognition in Lexa's eyes, a subtle acknowledgment of their earlier encounter. 

Clarke took her seat, feeling an unexpected ease in Lexa's presence. The coincidence of their seating arrangement seemed to break down the initial barriers of conversation.  

As the reception carried on, with guests milling around and the soft clinking of glasses punctuating the air, Lexa turned to Clarke with a curious tilt of her head. "So, how do you know Octavia?" she asked, her voice carrying a genuine interest. 

Clarke paused for a moment, her gaze drifting as she gathered her thoughts. "We grew up together in Arkadia," she began, a hint of nostalgia coloring her voice. "It's a small town where everyone knows everyone. Octavia and I, we've been through a lot together. It's one of those friendships that's as much about surviving the bad times as it is about celebrating the good ones." 

Lexa listened attentively, her eyes reflecting a deep understanding. "Sounds like you've shared quite a journey. It's rare to have that kind of lasting connection from childhood." 

"Yeah, it is," Clarke agreed, her smile softening. "Octavia's more like a sister than a friend. We've supported each other through everything – family dramas, school, the whole rollercoaster of growing up. And now, seeing her get married, it's like a new chapter for her, for both of us, really." 

The conversation flowed effortlessly, with Lexa sharing bits of her own experiences and Clarke elaborating on her childhood in Arkadia. They talked about the adventures they had as kids, the challenges of finding their paths as adults, and the importance of having someone to rely on through it all. 

As they spoke, Clarke felt a growing sense of connection with Lexa. It was comforting to talk to someone who understood the value of deep, enduring friendships. Lexa's presence, her easy conversation, and her empathetic listening made Clarke feel at ease, a feeling she hadn't expected to find at the wedding. 

As the night progressed, the atmosphere in the reception hall grew increasingly festive. Music filled the air, mingling with the sounds of laughter and conversation. Clarke and Lexa, lost in their own world, found their glasses refilled more often than not, the flow of alcohol mirroring the flow of their conversation. 

The more they talked, the more relaxed they became. The initial formalities and polite small talk gave way to deeper, more candid exchanges. Stories about their pasts, their dreams, their disappointments, and their triumphs were shared over the clinking of glasses and the occasional laughter. 

Lexa's humor, dry and well-timed, had Clarke laughing more freely than she had in months. In return, Clarke's openness, and her ability to see the beauty in small things brought a smile to Lexa's face, one that seemed to light up her entire being. 

With each sip of wine, their guards lowered further. The alcohol, acting as a social lubricant, erased the last remnants of any awkwardness between them. They teased each other, challenged each other, and found comfort in the easy banter that had developed. 

In a room full of people celebrating love and union, Clarke and Lexa found themselves exploring a different kind of connection – one born out of chance, nurtured through conversation, and solidified with a mutual understanding and respect. 

The reception, with its joyous celebration, had unknowingly become the backdrop for the beginning of a beautiful friendship. As they continued to talk, the possibilities of where this newfound bond could lead seemed as endless as the night itself. 

As the reception reached its peak, with the music growing louder and the crowd more animated, Lexa leaned closer to Clarke, her voice barely audible over the din. "Would you like to step outside for a bit? It's quieter out there," she suggested, a hint of eagerness in her tone. 

Clarke, who had been feeling slightly overwhelmed by the noise and the bustle of the reception, nodded in agreement. "That sounds great," she replied, grateful for the offer. 

They excused themselves from the table, weaving through the throngs of dancing and chatting guests. The contrast between the boisterous atmosphere inside and the tranquility of the outdoors was striking. As they stepped outside, the cool night air was a welcome relief, carrying with it the scent of the evening flowers. 

The venue's garden, beautifully illuminated by soft, twinkling lights, offered a serene escape from the festivities. Clarke took a deep breath, feeling the noise and clamor of the reception fade away, replaced by a peaceful stillness. 

Lexa led the way to a secluded bench under a canopy of stars. They sat down, the quiet enveloping them like a soothing blanket. The distant sounds of the party became a gentle hum, allowing them a space to talk without having to raise their voices. 

The calm of the night seemed to open up a different space between them, one where words flowed more thoughtfully, and silences held a comfortable ease. Lexa's gaze on Clarke was attentive, her presence both grounding and reassuring. 

Sitting there, under the night sky, Clarke felt an unexpected sense of contentment. The chaos of her thoughts, the reminders of her past that had haunted her during the ceremony, seemed to dissipate in Lexa's company. 

They spoke about everything and nothing – the stars above them, the dreams they harbored, the simple joys of life. It was a conversation that meandered effortlessly, punctuated by moments of laughter and reflective silence. 

In that quiet garden, away from the eyes and ears of the world, Clarke and Lexa found themselves sharing not just words, but parts of their souls. It was a connection that neither had anticipated, a serendipitous meeting of hearts and minds that neither would soon forget. 

As the night wore on, Clarke and Lexa remained outside, engrossed in their conversation under the vast, star-studded sky. The world inside the reception seemed a distant memory, and the tranquility of the night enveloped them in its embrace. 

The stars shone brightly above, casting a gentle glow over the garden. The air was cool, but the warmth between Clarke and Lexa seemed to defy the chill. They talked about everything from the constellations above to the little intricacies of their lives, each revelation bringing them closer. 

In those quiet hours, a subtle shift occurred between them. The laughter and conversation gradually gave way to moments of comfortable silence, where words were no longer needed. They sat close, their shoulders brushing occasionally, sending a tingling sensation through Clarke. 

Lexa turned to Clarke, her eyes reflecting the starlight, and in them, Clarke saw a depth of emotion that resonated with her own feelings. There was a question in Lexa's gaze, a silent inquiry that seemed to hang in the air between them. 

Clarke's heart raced as she met Lexa's eyes, the world around them fading into obscurity. In that moment, there was only Lexa, her captivating eyes, and the unspoken connection that had been building throughout the evening. 

Slowly, almost hesitantly, Lexa leaned in, her gaze never leaving Clarke's. Clarke's breath hitched, anticipation and a rush of emotions flooding her senses. Their lips met in a kiss that was gentle at first, but quickly deepened with the pent-up emotion of the night. 

The kiss was a fusion of everything they had shared – the laughter, the stories, the understanding, and the undeniable attraction. It felt right, like a missing piece falling into place, a sweet culmination of the connection that had sparked between them. 

As they pulled away, their eyes locked once more, a new understanding passing between them. The kiss had changed something, neither of them had expected but both welcomed. 

In the aftermath of their first kiss, Clarke and Lexa's eyes lingered on each other, an unspoken question hanging in the air. The initial softness of their embrace evolved into something more, a tangible electricity that coursed between them. 

Lexa's hand found its way to Clarke's cheek, her touch tender yet full of intent. Clarke's response was immediate, her own hand reaching up to gently rest on Lexa's. The world around them seemed to stand still, the distant sounds of the reception fading into nothingness. 

Their next kiss was initiated by Clarke, bolder now, a reflection of the desire that had been simmering just beneath the surface. Lexa met her with equal passion, their lips moving together in a dance as old as time. The kiss deepened, fueled by the emotions that had been building throughout the evening - a mix of newfound affection, attraction, and a hint of something deeper. 

The garden around them, bathed in moonlight and shadow, became their sanctuary. The kisses grew more fervent, more insistent, as if they were trying to communicate all the words they hadn't yet spoken. Each touch, each caress, spoke volumes, telling stories of longing, discovery, and a budding love. 

Clarke felt herself being pulled into a whirlpool of sensation, each kiss igniting a fire within her that she hadn't known existed. Lexa's presence, so strong yet gentle, was an anchor in the storm of emotions Clarke was experiencing. 

Their kisses were like whispers in the night, fervent and full of promise. In those moments, nothing else mattered but the feel of Lexa's lips on hers, the taste of a beginning, the sensation of falling into something new and terrifyingly beautiful. 

As they finally broke apart, breathless and with hearts racing, the reality of their surroundings slowly seeped back in. The distant music, the gentle rustling of the leaves in the breeze, the soft glow of the lights in the garden – all bore witness to the transformation of their relationship from strangers to something more profound. 

Under the canopy of stars, Clarke and Lexa found not just a connection, but a passion that promised the dawn of a new day in their lives, a day they were both eager to embrace. 

From the balcony overlooking the garden, Lincoln and Octavia paused in their festivities to take in the view below. Their eyes landed on Clarke and Lexa, visible in the soft light of the garden, caught in an intimate moment.  

Lincoln raised his eyebrows in surprise, but Octavia merely smiled, a knowing look in her eyes. "I had a feeling about those two," she said to Lincoln, her voice laced with a hint of satisfaction. "When I was planning the seating arrangements, something told me to put them together. Looks like I was onto something." She leaned against Lincoln, her expression one of contentment, happy not just for their own union, but for the potential new beginning blooming in the garden below. 

[clayandstuff]

MY BLAKE GIRLS ❤️❤️❤️

Echo Appreciation Week 

Day 3: Favorite Relationship: Echo / Octavia

[utilitycaster]

So… What do you think about Susan Calvin? And do you have any recommendations for people who like to read robot stories (assuming what everyone knows about Asimov already.)

I LOVE Susan Calvin, more so because I'm pretty sure her appeal now (or in the early 2000s, when young me first read I, Robot) is mostly unintentional. I truly love Asimov's writing, I think he had a lot of fascinating ideas, and even his nonfiction essays are worth a read, but he was, as many science fiction authors of the time were, Not Great Towards Women. He designed Susan Calvin to be brilliant...but unattractive and brusque and unpleasant, while the recurring male characters like Powell and Donovan get to be cool and brave. And yet, by making a woman who was in defiance of what a sexist man would find attractive he made one of the most compelling women in classic sci fi. She is married to her work. She is a huge asshole. She's real and complex because he actually had to put thought into her as a character rather than being like "ah yes the woman scientist is a blonde bombshell who echoes all of my own feelings", and I love her and honestly, a lot of my thoughts about Dancer are probably influenced by Susan Calvin - a weird, smart loner who is horrible at interpersonal relationships but actual has a great deal of respect for robots.

The thing is...the part of robot stories I love is more the society around them and how this responds. I'm not actually that invested in robots as the main characters, so the robot stories beyond Asimov's positronic brain stuff/The Bicentennial man that I know of (that was what I was referencing in my tags, incidentally; if you read a bunch of Asimov you will be fine) are mostly also really popular: Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep (and Blade Runner); Battlestar Galactica (everyone should watch the 2003 BSG because it's fucking phenomenal and it's also a very good companion to everything I've said about pacing, lately, namely, you can have utterly fucked pacing as long as the characters are deeply of this world and given enough space to breathe); The smattering of Star Trek: TNG I've seen indicates that's pretty good. But yeah, it's not actually an area I tend to personally explore.

[this is directly related to the above but it is not what you asked, letting you know so you can bounce if you're not interested.]

What I do think people should do though is 1. Read a shitload of Octavia Butler and Ursula K. Le Guin specifically and 2. Go to their local library (might need to make a trip to the central one, actually, for this) and find the battered sci-fi short story anthologies from like, 1972. I read SO MUCH OF THAT as a high schooler, and on the one hand this means that I'm cursed with many memories of stories I will probably never be able to find again (shout out to someone on a weird forum who was able to identify The Silk and the Song from my fragmented memories); but on the other hand I think it just gives you a grounding in classic sci fi you cannot otherwise get. Science fiction meant short stories for a good portion of the 20th century, and a lot of the most interesting and weird stuff that really engaged with modern and near-future technologies is in there.

TBH that is what I'm getting at with recommending classic sci fi short fiction just...in the abstract. I think a whole lot of it tried to engage with the idea of "what happens to our society if this happens" in a way that modern sci fi sometimes does not (for a huge number of sociological reasons and because the immensity/political implications of nuclear and space technologies being obvious in a way that the internet was not). I brought it up in reference to FCG because...look, there's still a lot I feel could have been done better, and that's a separate post, but FCG's presence in the world is fascinating. It's asking the question of "imagine a world where no one even has a proper conception of artificial intelligence - and where you can summon a low-level fey or celestial and require they do your bidding - but there's a bunch of mindless automatons. Ok imagine one of them has a soul now." The people who react most normally to FCG are the people most ignorant of automata! Anyway, I think reading a shitload of shortform classic sci fi is the most efficient way to rewire your brain to automatically go "ok but what is the baseline of this fictional society and what is the change this story is exploring and how would people of various types respond" with speculative fiction in general, and I think it's such an important part of analysis! Also it's fun! If you come across a moderately humorous story from the 60s or 70s where people keep messing with the timeline and keep not realizing they've done so please send me its title because it pops into my mind now and then and I haven't been able to find it in like 15 years!

[minsinclair]

Or Else It Does Not Care

ᐊ Chapter Six ᐅ

"Why are you acting like this?" Poppy demands. "You're supposed to be happy to see me. We're supposed to be a couple." "Couples fight," Bea snaps tiredly. "And maybe I just want a night away from all these things we're supposed to be. Maybe I wanted a break from all the pretending."

If Poppy thought things would change, well... they don't.

Which is good. It's for the best. It's already bad enough to have to pretend to be dating Bea, and if she thought for a second that maybe things could be different-

She didn't, of course. And they aren't.

Which is to say, things don't change.

Hours after that dinner, Bea had pulled away, breathless and sweaty.

"I'm gonna shower," she'd said, and hadn't waited for Poppy to respond. Once the water was running, Poppy had climbed back into her rumpled clothes and slipped out the door. The night air had bitten at her exposed skin as she made the short walk back to Zeta House. Her breath formed clouds in the starless sky, and a knot had tightened in her chest.

The next morning, Bea was waiting for her in the kitchen, chatting too-casually with Veronica between bites of a shiny apple.

"Walk you to class?" she'd asked, and Poppy had nodded like everything was normal, because it was. These were exactly the roles they were supposed to play.

"Poppy?" A hand waves in her face, and Poppy snaps to attention. Chloe looks back at her expectantly, but Poppy has no idea what she's just said.

"She asked if you're still coming clubbing with us tonight," Veronica supplies over Chloe's shoulder.

"Oh." Poppy had forgotten about their plans. "Yeah. Of course."

"And you'll bring Bea?" Chloe asks.

"She's busy." It comes out too quickly, and Poppy winces. Busy walking a runway for Octavia fucking Olivier.

Chloe frowns. "You guys aren't fighting, are you?"

Poppy scowls. "No," she says, because it's true. At least, she thinks it is.

So maybe they haven't been talking quite as much. Maybe Bea hasn't shown up uninvited at her room and decided to stick around for the past few days. That doesn't mean they're fighting. They can't be fighting; they're not even dating.

But Chloe just inclines her head, no doubt still riding the high of their relationship. Poppy sighs. "I can tell her to meet us there."

"Great!" Fangirl hunger satisfied, Chloe bounces away. But Veronica lingers.

"What?" Poppy snaps.

Veronica doesn't recoil. "Are you and Bea fighting?"

Poppy squints. "Why is everyone asking?"

Veronica shrugs. "She seems weird. So do you."

Poppy glares, cheeks growing hot with indignation. "I'm fine," she insists. "And Bea's fine, too. We're both fine."

"Fine," Veronica echoes mockingly. If she were anyone else, Poppy would have her head on a stake by now. But Veronica's always existed just out of the orbit of Poppy's social pull, so she just glares harder, keeping her mouth shut. Not that it matters; Veronica's attention has already been reclaimed by her phone. Frankly, it's a marvel she'd managed to pry her eyes from her phone long enough for their thirty second conversation at all - her channel is rapidly approaching 500k viewers, and there's been more than one occasion over the past few days where she's become completely oblivious to the outside world as she watches the numbers rise.

Actually, Poppy's pretty sure the same thing is happening now. "You can go," she says irritably, managing to break through to Veronica just before her eyes glaze over.

"Yeah," Veronica responds dazedly, throwing a halfhearted wave over her shoulder as she turns to leave. "Bye."

Poppy slams the door behind her, plopping down inelegantly on her bed and whipping out her phone. Bea's most recent text to her, a selfie with Zoey on the Olivier runway, captioned only with a kissing face and a middle finger emoji, stares up at her from the screen.

You're coming clubbing tonight, she writes, and follows it with an address. Then she busies herself with some online window shopping on her laptop until her phone buzzes a reply.

or what? Bea writes. Below it, another selfie appears. Bea looks unfathomably striking wrapped in a black dress with gold accents. She smirks at the camera - at Poppy - and Poppy fights the urge to throw her phone across the room.

You'll be six feet under before you ever find out, Poppy shoots back. Be there. I'm not asking.

Bea doesn't respond.

------------------

Bea does show up, floating through the club's front door about an hour after the rest of the Top 15 had arrived. Heads turn (Poppy bites back a scoff - this isn't a movie) and murmurs ripple through the crowd as they take in her runway appearance.

Poppy stands to greet her, pulling her in closer than usual with a rough tug at her arm. Bea stumbles slightly in her heels, shooting Poppy a hard look that contrasts painfully with the winning smile she keeps plastered to her lips.

"What?" she hisses through her teeth.

Poppy leans close, presses a burning kiss to Bea's cheek and lingers with her mouth by her ear. "People think we're fighting."

"I wonder why," Bea quips lowly, but wraps an arm around Poppy's waist as they rejoin Carter and Chloe at their VIP table.

"Oh. My. God." Chloe practically spills over Carter's lap to paw at Bea's dress. "Is this an actual Octavia Olivier? They let you keep it?"

"Uh huh," Bea replies, vapid and too-bright. Even as she nods along to Chloe's babbling, Poppy can tell that Bea hasn't appreciated being jerked around.

She'll live, Poppy thinks, and tries not to squirm against the heat of Bea's hand on her hip. Besides, it serves her right.

They order a round of shots and Poppy downs hers instantly. It burns a warm trail down her throat and she thinks, unwillingly, of Bea's lips on her neck. She wonders if Bea's thinking the same as she swallows her own shot, but she stubbornly refuses to look Poppy's way.

Of all the times for that stupid Farmsville stubbornness to rear its head, this is probably the worst. Carter keeps shooting nervous glances between the two of them and Selene and Ford disappear to the dance floor, Ford nearly tripping over his own feet to get away from the tension. Poppy drapes a hand over Bea's shoulder and digs her nails into the soft skin there. Bea's grip tightens on her waist in response, but she says nothing.

"I'm gonna go dance," Carter says finally. "Chloe? Wanna come?"

Chloe thinks for a second, torn between her love of drama and her love of dancing. Finally, she deems Bea and Poppy worthy of abandonment and follows Carter away. And then it's just Poppy, Bea, and Veronica at the table, and with Veronica so engrossed in her phone, it might as well just be the two of them.

Poppy whirls on Bea. "What the hell are you doing?" she hisses, just low enough for Veronica to miss.

"You said to be here," Bea mutters back. "I'm here. What else do you want from me?"

"I want you to stop acting like a sulky little brat," Poppy spits.

"That's rich coming from you," Bea spits. "Or maybe not so rich anymore."

Poppy gapes. "Why are you acting like this?" she demands. "You're supposed to be happy to see me. We're supposed to be a couple."

"Couples fight," Bea snaps tiredly. "And maybe I just want a night away from all these things we're supposed to be. Maybe I wanted a break from all the pretending."

Poppy pulls away, stung. "You wanted a break from me?" she asks, wrestling her way out of Bea's grip. "Fine."

"That's not what I said," Bea objects, but Poppy already has a hand around Veronica's wrist. Veronica raises an eyebrow, looking almost amused.

"Let's dance," Poppy says. "Luis can stream it for you."

Veronica stares at her for a while, debating, then grins. "Okay."

Poppy can feel Bea's eyes boring into her as they follow the others to the dance floor. Luis keeps Veronica's camera trained on them as Veronica pulls their bodies together, but Poppy doesn't look at it. She keeps her eyes on Veronica as they move to the music, draping her arms over her shoulders and twirling a lock of her silvery hair.

Veronica leans close. "You're sure doing a lot for two people who aren't fighting."

Poppy just smirks. "Every good relationship needs a little punishment, right?"

"Is that what this is?" Veronica asks, too quiet for the stream to hear. "You really think she deserves it?"

"I think she needs it," Poppy answers. "Are you gonna help me or not?"

In a flash, Veronica spins Poppy around, pulling their hips flush. The heat from her body spreads into Poppy's back. Poppy shudders as Veronica's body rolls into hers from behind, and her eyes find Bea.

"She looks mad," Veronica observes quietly from over Poppy's shoulder.

Poppy lifts her chin defiantly. "Good."

At the table, Bea sips her drink. Her eyes are hard over the rim of the glass, eyebrows set in a stony glare. When she's done, her empty glass hits the table with a thud and she leans back into the booth, eyes still locked with Poppy's. Her frown hardens as Veronica trails her hands up Poppy's sides and Poppy sneers, triumph egging her on. She imagines it's Bea behind her as she grinds down, imagines the sounds Bea might make if they were alone.

The dating and the feelings might all be a lie, but Bea is into her body enough to care when someone else touches it, and Poppy knows it.

You don't want to pretend? she thinks. Fine. But you can't pretend you don't care about this.

Bea's knuckles are white around her glass. Poppy raises an eyebrow, as if to say what's wrong? just as Veronica drags her fingertips up Poppy's neck, tangling them in the roots of her hair and giving a gentle tug. And then Bea's on the floor, stepping up to Veronica, who spins Poppy into a dainty handoff and pushes her into Bea's chest.

"500k!" Luis announces, and Veronica's eyes light up as she disappears to find her phone. Poppy turns back to Bea, who's still glaring into the crowd.

"I want to go," Bea says.

"You're upset," Poppy goads. "I thought you wanted a break from me."

"What I want is," Bea says, then hesitates. "Can we just go? You got what you wanted. Everyone knows we're still together, everyone knows you can jerk me around."

"Seriously, what is wrong with you?" Poppy asks, annoyed. "You never cared about any of this before. This whole fucking thing was half your idea."

"I know that!" Bea snaps. "Look, I'm leaving. You can come with me if you care so much about what everyone else thinks."

Poppy shakes her head. "Whatever. Let them think we're fighting. It's not like it matters. None of this is real."

Bea opens her mouth, closes it, then shakes her head. "I need you to figure out what you want from me," she says. And with that, she disappears. Poppy glares after her, the high of her earlier victory fading into dust.

"Bitch," she spits quietly, and ignores the feeling in her gut that she's done something very, very wrong.

------------------

The next day, the T is blowing up from two different sides: Bea and Poppy, but not them together. Mostly, people fawn over Bea's runway appearance, tripping over themselves to price check the various aspects of her outfit. But there's a handful of others clamoring about Poppy and Veronica's dance and what it means for Bea and Poppy. Poppy stops reading before she can wonder too much herself.

Around noon there's a knock on her door. Poppy frowns; most of the Zetas tend to sleep in past two on weekends. For a second she thinks it might be Bea, come to work out the next steps of their relationship after all her weirdness the night before. But when she opens the door, it's Veronica.

"Hey," Veronica says. "I was just with Bea."

Poppy frowns. "Okay."

"She was telling the Veronicats about all the people she met at the Olivier runway," Veronica explains. "You should've come. You could've shown all your fans you're still together."

"Right." Poppy nods, trying to see where this is going.

"Anyway, she's not mad." Veronica catches sight of herself in one of Poppy's mirrors and adjust a piece of her hair. "She just said you can be really dense sometimes."

"Dense?" Poppy echoes. Then, "What, did you stream this? Did she ask you to tell me, like we're in middle school or something?"

"We didn't stream it," Veronica says, "and she asked me not to tell you. But I don't play favorites. And you need all the help you can get."

A new wave of frustration washes over Poppy. "What are you talking about?" Her phone buzzes in her hand and she glances down as she continues, "Why is everyone being so-"

Her breath stops.

Veronica glances away from the mirror. "What?"

Poppy's vision swims. She shakes her head.

"I have stuff to do," she says. Veronica hesitates, but leaves when it's clear Poppy has nothing else to say. She shuts the door behind her, and Poppy sinks onto the bed, eyes stuck to her phone.

Unknown number: Don't block me Unknown number: It's X Unknown number: I know you're faking it with Bea Unknown number: And I know how you can save the animal shelter.

------------------

weird chapter i know, but it was necessary to get where we're going. bea is tired of being fake with poppy (i wonder why 👀) and emotionally poppy is the dumbest bitch on campus AND now x is involved in the whole scheme... what could go wrong?

also this is unedited (they always are) but this time i mean i am literally about to finish typing this and hit post, so i'm sorry for any mistakes or quality errors!

also also i know the runway was qb2.5 and veronica's 500k special was qb2.11 (?) but i wanted to combine them for efficiency's sake.

tags / @calraquin @camren-jenlisa-is-real @giftedpink @hallowdiamond @iamsimpforpoppy @louvmin @maybeifyouwereedsheeran @noone6252 @save-me-the-last-dance @somewillwin @that-one-scared-gay

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[osleyakomwonkru]

Octavia as The 100′s Jesus Figure, Part 4: Bardo, The Crucifixion and Second Coming of Octavia Blake

So we’re back for a fourth part of this series, which I started after season 6, because wouldn’t you know it - there’s more to be said.

In Part 1, Origin Story and the Meeting of Two Saviours, I discussed Octavia’s origin story as the Dark Saviour and her relationship with the show’s other Saviour Lincoln, and how with his death he invested her with the mission to save all of their people.

In Part 2, Saving Humanity and the First Passion of Octavia Blake, I talked about Octavia finally accepting and understanding her mission as the Saviour, redeeming the sins of humanity, and her first Passion narrative, which was left incomplete, and thus she lived.

In Part 3, Planet Alpha and the Second Passion of Octavia Blake, I wrote about Octavia’s second Passion narrative on Planet Alpha, which led to her road to Golgotha at the Anomaly, from which she is resurrected (the Crucifixion narrative still remaining a mystery) and then meets those she knew once again, before her ascension as the Anomaly reclaimed her in the last seconds of the S6 finale.

So now, Part 4 - Here we will get into that missing Crucifixion narrative, as well as the events that come to pass with Octavia’s Second Coming, the Judgment of Humanity, and how things may have played out differently had it been Octavia who walked into the glowy ball of light instead of Cadogan, Clarke and Raven.

From Dark to Light

Before we return to that missing Crucifixion narrative, which takes place on Bardo, Octavia, along with Diyoza and Hope, land on a different planet for ten years. This planet also has its purpose in our Saviour narrative, because while the show starts on dark themes, and thus needed Octavia as a Dark Saviour, in season 7 it began to shift to a theme of light and transcendence.

Enter the appropriately named Penance.

Octavia spends ten years on Skyring/Penance/Planet Beta, healing from her pain and darkness, and thus is no longer the Dark Saviour the narrative needed her to be before to bring salvation to her people, now she can be the Light Saviour who will save all of humanity.

Her new demeanour - though I hesitate to say new because it was born of ten years of peace, plenty, family, and healing, it wasn’t new to her, merely to those who used to know her for whom time had been much shorter - is evidence of her new Light. It confuses many, because they hadn’t had the same time and healing as she had, but it is evident in every move she makes. Rather than the tornado of righteous fury that she used to be, now Octavia is the steady and calm voice of reason - to Echo, to Hope, and especially to Clarke.

But back to that crucifixion narrative.

Every Noble Crown will be a Crown of Thorns

Her peaceful world torn asunder, Octavia is taken to Bardo, and thrown into M-Cap at the first opportunity. Others have mentioned how the M-Cap headcap looks like a crown of thorns, and they’re quite right - this is where Octavia’s Crucifixion narrative comes to fruition. No one spends as much time in that crown of thorns as she does.

She fights it, at first, but when acceptance is what will provide salvation to her people (or person, in this case, being Hope), she accepts her fate and faces her past - brutal days of reliving her history as the Dark Saviour, to firmly close that chapter of her life (a symbolic death rather than just her regular baptism-rebirth cycle).

She’s freed from her crown of thorns when Hope comes. Hope, the symbol of her new Light, and the Light that she will carry with her as she returns to Sanctum to be resurrected among those she once knew, those who had believed her to be lost, but who dearly needed the Light she was to bring them.

Revelation and The Second Coming

There are a lot of different moving pieces involved in the apocalyptic scenarios of Revelation, and how these come to play in season 7 of The 100 isn’t any different. So let’s take a look at some of the other key players and how they connect to Octavia’s story.

The False Prophet, The Dragon and The Beast

Now, in my Part 3 of this series (written after the S6 finale), I predicted that Bellamy would have a large part in the revelation of Octavia’s Saviour narrative. Obviously, that part didn’t come to pass, because of Bob’s absence from the show, but you can still see hints within the narrative that suggest he would have been a part of it before Bob pulled out (most notably, the Hesperides flashback in 7x04 - this flashback is pretty pointless in the context of Hope telling Echo and Gabriel that story, but if you imagine Bellamy being there to hear about how his sister raised Hope in much the same way he raised her - then it becomes way more meaningful).

But the narrative as it played out also presents interesting Biblical allusions, by casting Bellamy in the role of false prophet, fighting on the side of the Beast (Cadogan), instead of on the side of Christ (his sister).

The false prophet is said to be the second beast to rise in Revelation 13, who has “two horns like a lamb, but it spoke like a dragon” (Revelation 13:11) who is given the authority to speak on behalf of the first Beast (Cadogan), to deceive the people so that they will worship this Beast. The false prophet having the appearance of a lamb is relevant here, because Jesus is often referred to as the Lamb of God - thus, the false prophet (Bellamy) resembles the true Saviour (Octavia), not coincidental since they are in fact siblings and thus do bear some physical resemblances.

So who is The Dragon - that is, Satan? It is easy to say that the Dragon is Sheidheda, for it is the Dragon who is imprisoned, only to be released to deceive and wage war before being finally defeated. But it goes deeper than that - The Dragon is the dark side of the Flame itself, Sheidheda’s only the last prophet of that darkness. It is the Flame that gives Cadogan, the Beast, the power he needs to rule over his people - the glimpse of the idea of Judgment Day as something for the Disciples to work towards - “The dragon gave the beast his power and his throne and great authority” (Revelation 13:2) - even when the good side of the Flame, the Humanity that Becca believed so vital, wanted to keep it from him.

The Children of the Kingdom of Heaven

Jesus says “unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:3). Octavia’s always been tied to different children throughout The 100 narrative, first as the child herself, and then others such as Gavriel, Ethan, Madi, Rose and Hope. But the important children for the purpose of this post are the three that are the “next generation” so to speak of the leading trio of the show, and their important roles in the final battle.

There’s Jordan, the Head-centered, who takes over Clarke’s role as John the Baptist, the prophet who bore witness to the Light (Jesus) so that others would believe. His testimony shows that the Final War is instead a Test, and he’s instrumental in making sure that Octavia can stop the war and pass the test to grant humanity eternal life instead.

There’s Hope, the Heart-centered, who takes over Bellamy’s role as Saint Peter, the disciple who becomes the leader of the church after Jesus’ ascension. Hope is Octavia’s grounding force, her new rock, and her love gives her strength to continue her journey.

And then there’s Madi, the Soul-centered, who is Octavia’s next generation counterpart. It’s made clear from the start of Madi’s introduction in season 5 that Octavia is her favourite, that Octavia is the one she looked up to, and even in season 7, these parallels are there, as Madi is ready to sacrifice herself to save the others, and in more peaceful ways too, like when she’s hiding in the reactor with her two new friends, reminiscent of season 1 Octavia and her friendship with Monty and Jasper. Madi, too, meets her Crucifixion in the M-Cap chair, in an even crueler and more vicious manner than Octavia did. But when Octavia saves humanity, this liberates Madi’s soul and grants her eternal life as well.

I am the Way, The Truth and the Life

Wonkru falls apart in Octavia’s absence. There’s no other way to say it. Wonkru crumbling in 7x03 is made even more conspicuous by the fact that they don’t even mention Octavia, because they’re still denying her, despite everything she brought them. They don’t realize that she’s the one to save them all, they don’t realize that, as Jesus says, “I am the Way, the Truth and the Life, no one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 4:16) - something that they will finally come to understand in the climax of the final episode.

But it isn’t time for that story yet. First we must turn to Revelation to see what happens to Wonkru and the others on Sanctum while they’ve chosen to deny her and follow the Dragon and the Beast instead.

Here we see the different plagues that strike the unbelievers - both in Revelation 8-9 and 16.

The first to come are “ugly, festering sores [that] broke out on the people who had the mark of the beast” (Revelation 16:2) - the radiation sickness that is a marker of the broken nuclear reactor in 7x03, which claims as James as one of its first victims. If you don’t remember who he was while watching that episode, look back to 6x02, where he’s one of the people attacking Octavia in the Eligius IV mess hall. He breaks faith with her, and here suffers the consequences of that.

The second and third plagues speak of both the seas and the rivers turning to blood - references to the rivers of blood created by Sheidheda’s massacres, first of the Faithful and then of the Children of Gabriel.

The fourth plague, the sun scorching people with fire, takes us to the eclipse in 7x13, where the sky is red with the eclipse. This leads to the fifth and sixth plagues - the kingdom being plunged into darkness as Emori kills power to the reactor to bring down the shield, which makes it possible for “locusts [to come] down on the earth” (Revelation 9:3) and devour those “who did not have the seal of God on their foreheads” (Revelation 9:5).

It is only the final plague - “rumblings… and a severe earthquake… [where] the great city split into three parts” (Revelation 16:18-19) - that strikes where Octavia is, with “a loud voice from the throne, saying ‘It is done!’” (Revelation 16:17). This line from Revelation calls back to what Octavia says to Hope in 6x13 before her Ascension - “Be brave, tell him it is done” - a sign that Octavia is needed elsewhere again. And soon enough she does depart to Bardo, alongside Clarke. Meanwhile, the survivors remaining on Earth have to reunite the three groups split in the bunker - those in the rotunda (Hope, Jordan, Gaia, Indra, Miller), those in the rec room (Raven, Murphy, Emori, Jackson) and those in the bunkrooms (Echo, Niylah) - to prepare for the final war and judgment.

The Fall of Babylon

Before Octavia can bring light to the world and grant humanity transcendence, there is still one more key part of Revelation that must come to pass, and that is the fall of Babylon: That is, in this ‘verse, Clarke.

Throughout Biblical narrative, Babylon stands in opposition to Jerusalem and its righteousness, just how in The 100 narrative Clarke and Octavia have always been set as foils to each other. Now, Clarke isn’t evil per se, but she’s always been set in her ways and doubles down when questioned about her past deeds - as we see both in how she faces the Primes in 6x03 and the Judge in 7x16. She doesn’t learn, and so she fails. Clarke, like Babylon, is locked out of heaven for not learning the patience and humility that Octavia did: “For her sins are piled up to Heaven, and God has remembered her sins. Give back to her as she has given, pay her back double for what she has done.” (Revelation 18:5-6).

With Clarke fallen, it is now time to begin the Final Judgment.

Final Test and Judgment

After Clarke’s fall, someone must step in to advocate for humanity, to guide the Judge’s gaze to the righteous, to the Saviour - Raven steps through the glowing orb to do so. So which figure in Revelation is most suited here? None other than the writer of Revelation themselves, historically considered to be John of Patmos, who is given these visions by the angels as a warning for humanity.

Raven bore witness to a number of the plagues, and while not always a believer in Octavia - in fact, out of all characters around for all seven seasons, they’ve shared the least screentime with each other - but they’ve still fought on the same side. Also of relevance here is that Raven’s been granted visions in the narrative of the show, like John of Patmos has in Revelation - though hers came as a result of ALIE.

While the Judge takes Raven to the battlefield in Bardo to prove humanity to be unworthy, this battlefield is instead where Octavia proves humanity to be worthy. Indra and Wonkru follow Octavia’s lead, finally recognizing that their only way to salvation was through her (see John 4:16 above), and after the Disciples too laid down their weapons, humanity is deemed worthy and the Judge grants them eternal life in the form of transcendence - rising to the heavens in the manner of the Rapture, “We who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air” (1 Thessalonians 4:17).

Where is the Judgment of the Dead?

Now, one thing missing in season 7 compared to the Book of Revelation and Jesus’ Second Coming is the Judgment of the Dead and welcoming those worthy into the domain of Heaven.

A longstanding phrase in The 100 has been “May We Meet Again”. This is part of the Traveler’s Blessing of Skaikru, and one that they use frequently with one another even in non-death contexts. So with that phrase, a lot of people expected that the dead would also be able to be part of transcendence somehow, and that beloved characters would then also be present on the beach in the final scene as they rejected transcendence to live mortal lives.

I believe, given everything in the past posts about Octavia, that had she been the one to go into the ball of light to face the Judge personally, rather than saving humanity on the battlefield, that this would have happened.

While logically I believe the best form for the Judge to take for Octavia would have been Diyoza, since Diyoza was her greatest teacher, her mind would be more likely to choose her greatest love, Lincoln - who, if we go back to Part 1 of this series, we remember is the other Saviour of this show’s narrative.

That would have been a reunion even more epic than the Clarke and Lexa reunion that the show gave us, for Lincoln and Octavia were far closer and together for far longer. And if the Transcendents possessed the powers that they do - instant genocide by crystallization at the wave of an arm, transcendence through the blink of an eye, restoration of healthy and whole bodies if those souls reject transcendence - then surely raising the dead would’ve been a simple task.

The only reason that couldn’t happen was extratextual - there was no way Ricky would work with JRoth again, and so this extra dimension, this aspect of the narrative that could have made things so much sweeter and less bitter, had to be put aside.

Now, that doesn’t diminish Octavia’s Saviour narrative in the least - she did still save humanity. She did still bear the sins of the human race, she was still mocked, cast out and sent to her crucifixion by those who denied her. She did still return from that symbolic death, resurrected, then ascended. When she faced Wonkru again - remember, that battlefield in 7x16 is the first time the bulk of Wonkru has seen her since 5x13 - it was in her Second Coming to bring the Final Judgment to them. The trials they’d faced in Sanctum in her absence showed them the truth - that they had to believe in her again to achieve their salvation.

She was the Way, the Truth and the Life of The 100 universe, and no one would have reached transcendence except through her.

[okmcintyre]

Echo and Emori for the ship ask, please?💕 (i already reblogged this one very recently😅 but if you want to ask something back, please feel free to)

Ohh those are intriguing characters, ty @theworldisbeautifulandcruel 😃 I sent you a couple back too thanks! I love reading everyone's answers to these things.

Top 5 ships for Echo (in reverse order!)

5) Echo x Bellamy: They were a power couple with a solid history. I think especially if they'd came back down to earth just as 'Spacekru living on a farm somewhere', the two would've been very happy together forever.

4) Echo x Emori: PICTURE IT- the delinquents never came to Earth. Instead we have Assasin!Echo meeting up with Theif!Emori while they are both trying to go after the same mark. It could've been something 😮

3) Echo x Raven: They could've moved worlds together, these two queens of their own right!

2) Echo x Roan: Jumping in mid-season I actually thought they were together when I started watching!? Great chemistry, I think it would've worked if the writers had went there. They are similar people in some ways.

1) Echo x Hope: They spend 6 years together on Skyring, already got so close and knew the other so well... I would've loved to see them as endgame. I think it would've been a very happy, healthy relationship for both of them 💚

Honourable mention to Niyah and Wells and Octavia all who I think would've been super sweet to see her end up in with too! 😅

Top 5 ships for Emori (in reverse order!)

5) Emori x Nelson: They had a lot in common, maybe in another world it could have evolved into romance? They had a great dynamic!

4) Emori x Echo: Again, in another life? 🤷‍♀️

3) Emori x Harper: I think they would have been THE MOST ADORABLE couple! They are both such sweet people, but in a way that they could kill you in 0.005sec 😂

2) Emori x Raven: I realize I ship her with 90% of Spacekru. Not even sorry, she's a queen who they would all be lucky to have!

1) Emori x Murphy: It was difficult to come up with other pairings for her tbh, because as long as she's been on the show its been Memori. They are so well matched, despite 7B I am thrilled that our favourite rebel!couple got a happy send off in the end 💙☺️

LINK TO THE ASK GAME!

[slytherinbarnes]

Sub Rosa [93]

ix. the flock 

Pairing: Bellamy Blake x reader

Word Count: 12.8k

Warnings: mentions of blood, injuries, anxiety, needles, mentions of death, language.

Summary: with your release from m-cap, you join the others to begin training as a disciple.

a/n: this chapter has a few of my favorite scenes that I’ve written, and I’m excited to hear what you guys think about it! it’s a long one, so get your snacks and get comfy! the taglist for this series is open! I hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think!!!

previous chapter // season masterlist // series masterlist

Day 1 of training, 78 days until Clarke’s arrival

As you stare at the four familiar faces across from you, you feel the cuffs around your wrists release. Before the disciples at your side can comprehend your movements, you take off in a run, towards your friends, a smile on your face. Octavia meets you halfway, the two of you colliding in a fierce hug, quiet laughter spilling from your lips. As Octavia grips you tight, she whispers, “We thought you were dead.”

You pull away and look at her, tears pricking your eyes. “I thought all of you were dead. Gabriel and I-”

“Gabriel?” You turn to look at Hope, her eyes wide. “You’ve seen Gabriel?”

“Yes, I’ve been with him since we were all separated.”

Hope and Octavia both smile, pleased to hear the news. Echo, who you get a better look at now that you're closer, seems less impressed. But your brain moves past that and to the scars on the side of her face, scabbed over with black blood, clearly a few days old at this point. Echo ignores the look on your face as you meet her eyes, and she pulls you into a hug instead. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

You nod a little, trying to shake off your shock as you pull away and smile at her. “Me too.”

Hope moves closer to you next, her eyes locked on the black blood dripping down your face. “Okay? What about the blood all over her face?”

She hugs you and then turns to glare at the door, where your previous captors are no longer standing. “What the hell did they do to you?”

“I panicked when they came for me. Me and Gabriel started fighting them off, but it didn't exactly go well.”

Diyoza’s motherly instincts kick in, and despite the lack of relationship that you share with the older woman, the two of you are bonded through your mutual love for Hope and Octavia. She reaches for you, tipping your chin to get a look at the cut on your face, the same way Gabriel did when you first got it. She mutters, “Looks like you broke a few stitches.”

“Figures.”

Her gaze lifts over your head to call out to someone on the other side of the room. “Any way we could get a first aid kit?”

“Of course.”

The familiar voice makes your brows pull together as you rack your brain and try to identify it. When you turn towards the source of the sound, they appear to your right, holding out a first aid kit, a small smile on their face. You look up and meet Levitt’s gaze, smiling back at him. “Oh my god, you’re okay. I got worried when I didn't see you in M-Cap.”

“First Disciple Anders thought I'd be better suited to train everyone. But now, with your arrival, I suspect he’ll be joining us.”

“Because of me?”

Levitt glances around the room, towards the other trainees, native Bardoans, who are all watching you closely, clearly talking about you. He glances back and lowers his voice so they can’t hear him. “I’ve heard he’s taken an interest in you, especially now that you won't let them into your head. Plus, you're a twin. We’ve never had any twins here, so I’m sure you’ll be pretty popular all around.”

“Oh great, so I have a target on my back.”

“Only until the Key arrives.” You give Levitt a look, both of you aware of the dangers of discussing Clarke, knowing what you both know. Octavia doesn't miss the look, her gaze bouncing between you both before she worriedly whispers, “What?”

Behind you, the door slides open, and the room grows quieter. You turn to see why, watching as Anders walks into the room. Levitt pushes the first aid kit into your hand before moving to greet him, and you glance at Octavia and mutter, “Tell you later.”

She nods, and Diyoza takes the first aid kit from you, quickly taking over the job of doctor as Anders addresses the room. “I know you’ve all been training for the last few days, but we have a new training partner joining us, Miss Griffin.”

Everyone turns their rapt attention away from him to look your way, before quickly turning back again when Anders continues, “I don't often lead the training, but with such a unique group in front of me, I couldn't resist the prospect of showing our new recruits the importance of our cause. Although half of you were not born in the cause, everyone has the ability within them to serve humanity. Give everything to the group. Trust in the process. Trust in each other.”

He looks over each of you, his eyes lingering on you the longest as Diyoza finishes up with your cut. You shiver, his gaze sending a chill down your spine, so much of his presence reminding you of Shumway. The thought makes your hands clammy. Finally, Anders lifts his hands a little and says, “For all mankind.”

The others in the room repeat after him, lifting their hands and echoing his words, and you feel another chill roll over you at the weird cult mentality of the Bardoans. It weirded you out when the people of Sanctum did it, it weirded you out when Orlando did it, and it weirds you out now. No one seems to notice your discomfort as Anders announces, “We'll start with some simple sparring, please choose a partner.”

You and Diyoza stand, wandering over with the others to choose someone to spar with, but Anders calls out to you. “Not you, Miss Griffin. I have something to show you.”

You look towards the others in alarm, but you all know there is nothing that any of you can do. So you step away from the partner you chose and move towards Anders with apprehension. He looks over the rest of the group, waiting patiently, and calls out, “You may begin.”

You hear four take downs nearly immediately, and you turn around to smile at your triumphant friends, all standing over their defeated partners. Levitt looks towards Anders, who directs, “Again. But slower.”

Everyone nods in compliance, and once the sparring begins again, Anders motions towards the door, urging you to walk ahead. You do, stepping aside as he opens the door and leads you down the hall, towards the elevator. You look at the back of his head, your eyes flitting down every open hallway you pass, wondering if you can make a run for it. Anders must sense your desire to escape, because without turning around, he remarks, “They’re already on high alert, Miss Griffin. The disciples are already expecting you to run. How about, for once, you stay and listen?”

He turns to look at you, waiting for your answer, and you stare back at him. You hate Bardo, you hate Anders, you hate what this place symbolizes to you. Death, torture, capture, prison. But you can't leave. Ignoring all of your failed attempts and what they did to Bellamy, you can't go anywhere without your friends, and you can't go anywhere now that Clarke is supposedly on her way. Which means, you might as well play along. Listen to what they have to say, saving information for later, biding your time until a successful escape is possible. So you nod at Anders, accepting whatever he’s offering.

He nods a little and continues on, back towards the elevator. When you reach the doors, he hits the button and they slide open, and as you step inside, you ask, “Where are we going?”

Anders presses another button, which opens a little door, a small camera sliding out of it. Answering you and directing the machine, he simply states, “Surface.”

The doors slide closed and a smaller door opens, revealing a pile of masks. Anders takes two, passing you one, and as the elevator starts to move, he turns to look at you. “Your friends only agreed to disciple training to get out of their cells, and you're only agreeing to it now to protect them. But that's because you're blind to what's really going on. I'm about to open your eyes to the truth of our cause, because I realize from the time we’ve spent in your head that taking things on faith is not in your nature. I'm going to show you what happens if we lose the Last War.”

You say nothing, you just stand as far from him as you can, riding the elevator to the top, curious to see what it’s like. As it reaches the last few feet, Anders turns to you again. “Mask on. The particulate matter in the air is lethal to humans. It'll literally calcify you from the inside.”

You nod and press your mask to your face, attaching it with the clasp behind your head. You can hear your breaths moving through the mask, your body taking in filtered air before pushing it out again. Despite the anxiety that sits with you constantly in Bardo, you are eerily calm in this moment, your breaths coming out in steady puffs. The elevator makes a small sound to let you know you’ve arrived, and the doors slide open to reveal a grim view outside.

You weren't sure what you were expecting to see on the surface, but it wasn't gray skies, accented by flashes of lightning, and it certainly wasn't the large crystal giants that dot the landscape, rock hard and unmoving. You stare at the scene in front of you in shock, remembering back to when all of you nearly came to the surface without masks in an attempt to escape, stopped only by Gabriel, who didn't want to take the risk. Something that everyone was annoyed about in the moment, but ultimately it saved your life. You whisper, “Gabriel saved us.”

But then your brain remembers that you were forcefully dragged from your shared room with Gabriel, leaving him behind bruised and bloodied. You turn to look at Anders, your voice a little harder than before. “Where is Gabriel? Is he okay?”

“Gabriel is no longer your concern.” You glare at him, and Anders must sense that he is losing you. Your anger is rising again, not fond of being told you can't see your friends, so he tries to redirect your attention back to the view outside. “If we lose the Last War, this will be all that is left of us.”

You glance at the scene again, before stepping away from the door, not wanting to fall for his bullshit again. “Not if I can help it.”

He smiles a little but says nothing. He just closes the doors to the elevator and takes you back down, pulling his mask off and holding out his hand for yours. You pass it to him and he stows them away again, both of you standing in silence until the elevator arrives at your new destination. Without waiting, Anders steps off the elevator and begins walking down the halls. You quickly scramble after him, turning to look at the closing elevator door to check what floor you’re on. Three. Level three is living quarters for level 1s through 7s. You turn to look at Anders as he walks down the hall, quietly reading numbers off to himself. He stops near the end of a long hallway, near the branch that takes you to other rows of rooms. He waits for you to stop beside him, before he motions towards a door. “Room 301.”

You look at the door and then to him, and he motions towards it again. “Open it. It’s yours.”

You look at him in disbelief, sure that you’d always be sharing a room with the others, or a prison cell, but never expecting to get one of your own. You reach out and put your hand on the sensor, and the door slides open, revealing a pretty large room. There's a bed pushed up against the wall, a small desk and dresser, and a second door that you can't see into from where you’re standing. You look at Anders again, distrusting, and he motions for you to go inside. “It’s your room, Miss Griffin. There are no tricks.”

You step inside, your feet carrying you into the center of the room, turning slowly to take it all in. It’s bigger than the one you shared with Bellamy, bigger than the one you shared with Clarke, bigger than the one you shared with Gabriel on Skyring. The room you had at Becca’s mansion is the only room you’ve ever had that is bigger than this, but you only stayed there for a few days, and it never belonged to you. This room is yours for what will be weeks, something that seems hard for you to understand. 

Anders steps into the room behind you, walking towards the second door, and he steps inside to turn on the light. Behind him you can see the makings of a bathroom, and you step towards it in awe. It has a large shower, a sink, a toilet, a mirror, and a cabinet full of soap. You feel overwhelmed, unused to rooms like this. Despite it only holding the necessities, it’s still the nicest room you've ever been able to call your own, and you look at Anders in shock. He’s smiling a little, like he’s enjoying exposing you to the modern luxuries of Bardo. And you realize instantly, that’s exactly it. He’s seen memories of you on the Ark, and the Dropship, and Arkadia. He’s seen memories of you sleeping outside, up in trees, in caves, in wet tents. He’s seen memories of you after days of being unable to bathe on the ground, your hair matted and tangled and caked with mud. He’s seen you covered in blood, sometimes your own, sometimes others, and you know what he must think of you. 

That you’re a savage.

A primitive, wild girl that has never known rules or order or the complexities of a modern society. And it’s ironic, because at one point, that’s how you and your people once saw the Grounders, until you too became just like them. Over time, it was easy to see that just because their culture was different than yours, it didn't make it less than. The same thing can be said for the people of Mount Weather or Sanctum. Just because they're different, it doesn’t mean any of you are more superior than the other. 

But Anders will never agree with that. This man, who has spent his entire life growing up in this cult like society, with constant access to food, water, medicine, resources, and safety, he will never understand. He will never understand fighting for your life or for your friends and families lives. He will never understand what it’s like to take a life, even when you don't want to. He will never understand the ugliness of war. He has spent his entire life training for a war that he will never be ready for. 

You shake your head a little, the beauty of the room wearing off a little. Because now you see that you’re standing inside the room of a stone castle, in front of a man who thinks he’s better than you, but who is so desperate for the memories of you and the people you love. You meet his gaze, and you can tell that he has picked up on the change in your attitude. Still, he motions to the room again and says, “Stay here and get some rest, you’ve had a long few days. Training for you will begin tomorrow, with the others, in the room you were in earlier.”

You nod and watch as he moves towards the door, intending to leave you behind, but he stops just before he exits, turning to look at you again. “Miss Griffin, you’ll soon understand the importance of our cause. What we do, we do for all mankind, to save us all. Trust the process.”

And then without another word, he turns and leaves, the door sliding shut behind him, leaving you alone for the first time in a long time. You stand frozen in the middle of the room, unsure of what to do, your mind racing with a million thoughts at once. Levitt says Anders has taken an interest in you. In what way? Should you be worried? Is he like Shumway? Or does he only care about you because of your connection to Clarke? And where the hell is Gabriel? Is he okay? Is he worried? And what’s up with Echo’s scars? Or the crystal giants? Or this Last War?

You shake your head, dislodging the tornado of thoughts, unable to process any of them right now. Instead, you step towards the bathroom again, moving to stand in front of the mirror. You can't remember the last time you got a look at yourself, but something about the moment reminds you of standing in front of a mirror in Mount Weather. Just like then, there is blood on your face, except instead of being the red blood of a guard, it’s your own black blood. And instead of Bellamy coming into the room to wrap his arms around you, he is dead and you are alone. 

You feel tears threaten to rise at the thought of your fiance, and in an attempt to distract yourself you pull open the cabinet to reveal the supplies left for you. You reach for a bar of soap and close the cabinet again, turning on the water to wash the blood from your face. You get your face damp and reach for the soap, lathering your hands, releasing the scent. It’s familiar, hitting you like a train, reminding you of that special bar of soap from your father, a moon etched into the top. This bar in your hand is decoration free, but it takes you back, sending you tumbling into your memories, and the emotion that has threatened to overtake you finally wins out. 

Bellamy’s death, failing to save your friends multiple times, missing Clarke, the stress of M-Cap, this unfamiliar place, all of it weighs on you and breaks you down. You drop to your knees, your face still wet, your tears mingling with the water, and you start to cry, thinking about everything you’ve been through recently, allowing yourself this moment of weakness. Wanlida watches on, allowing the display of emotion, aware that you need this release now to control yourself later. Because these moments of weakness must always be private after this. This stone castle and the people within its walls are dangerous, and you can't let them see any weakness in you. You have to play the part of a perfect soldier, despite wanting nothing more than to burn Bardo to the ground. 

And tomorrow, a perfect soldier is what you'll be.

But today, in this moment, you allow yourself to be human; broken, hurting, and lonely.

-

Day 3 of training, 75 days until Clarke’s arrival

You sit in a chair in a dimly lit hallway, your foot shaking with nerves as you stare at the door across from you.

One by one your friends have gone in, but none of them have come out again. You have no idea what’s going on, and the others were just as confused earlier, sitting around anxiously until Levitt steps out to call them in. You’re the last one standing, wondering why that is, wishing you could touch your necklace for strength or twirl your ring as a distraction. But both are together and clasped around your ankle, tucked into your sock and then your boot, afraid that it’s just another thing Bardo will want to take from you.

Finally, after what feels like days of anxious waiting, Levitt steps out into the hall. He doesn't have time to say your name because you're already on your feet and moving towards him as soon as you see the door start to open. You step inside the room, ready to see your friends, disappointed to find none of them. A door on the other side of the room gives you a good idea why. 

But strangely enough, stretched out in a chair in front of you, his eyes closed, is Anders.

His hands are clasped over his stomach, his expression calm, and you turn to look at Levitt. “What is this? What's going on?”

“I can't say anything until after the test. It could alter your results.”

You give him a confused look, but he ignores it and leads you over to a second empty chair. You slide into it, your heart rate picking up as your anxiety grows, and Levitt fidgets with a few things behind you before moving to your side. “Hold out your arm.”

You give him a skeptical look. “Why?”

“It'll be easier if you don't fight.”

You almost roll your eyes at him. “Levitt, you’ve been inside of my head. You’ve seen enough to know by now that I'm not one to go quietly.”

“That’s exactly what you said to Kane when Pike locked you up.”

Whatever witty response you had ready to go dies on your tongue at the mention of Kane. You didn't even realize you said the same thing now, but as Levitt mentions it, you know he’s right. You don't know why, but it makes you stick out your arm, offering it to the man. Maybe it’s because you know Kane would want you to. Maybe it’s your own morbid curiosity. 

Levitt pushes a needle connected to some tubing into the vein near the inside of your elbow, before flipping a switch and pushing a red liquid through the tubing towards you. You watch it come closer, getting more anxious with each passing second, until finally it reaches your arm. Within seconds, you can feel yourself getting drowsy, your lids suddenly heavy, pulling closed before you can even fight it.

When you wake up again, you’re in Shallow Valley. You’re in the house you picked out for you and Bellamy, and the sun is shining through the window over your head. It’s warm and nice, and for a second you start to lose yourself in the feeling, until you realize that something isn't right. Your eyes fly open and you look down, your gaze falling on your bound hands and feet. You're tied to the chair beneath you, restrained, and a gag is pulled tight through your mouth. And as you try to process what happened and how you got here, your brain searching for the memory, you hear muffled cries from the other room. You look up in alarm, screaming through your gag to whoever it is. They scream back, and you swear you hear a muffled cry of “la lune” mixed in with their cries. 

You look around, trying to find a way out, your eyes landing on your Grounder knife across the room. You scoot your chair across the room as gracefully as you can, turning when you reach the small table, reaching out as far as you can with your bound hands. You peer over your shoulder, grasping clumsily for the knife, nearly sighing with relief when your hand closes over it. You turn it around in your hands and saw at the ropes restraining you, cutting your hand in the process, but you don't care. You're too focused on escaping, sawing as fast as you can until your hands eventually break free. 

The ropes hit the ground and you move your hand to the front, frantically sawing through the rope around your feet. You're able to get it loose much faster, your feet dropping free, and you quickly stand and pull the gag from your mouth as you move into the next room. There, tied side by side in chairs, are Clarke and Bellamy. They’re both looking at you in alarm, their cries growing more frantic, and you don't understand why until you feel a blade at your throat. You freeze and a voice grunts, “Drop the knife.”

You do as you’re told, and the person kicks the knife away before hitting you in the back of the head so hard you see stars. You stumble forward, onto your hands and knees, fighting against the unconsciousness that threatens to take you, as two sets of boots walk past you and move to stand in front of your fiance and twin. You look up, your eyes falling on two familiar looking Eligius prisoners. Something about the moment feels wrong, off, but you can't place why. 

Each of the prisoners lifts a gun at their own prisoner, the two most important people in your life. Terrified, you yell, “What do you want?”

“To watch you suffer.”

Two guns cock, one after the next, and you look between Bellamy and Clarke in horror, both of them crying and calling out for you, while you sit frozen in fear, unsure what to do. As you struggle to decide, two shots ring out through the room. A scream tears through you as you look up in alarm, expecting to find Clarke and Bellamy dead, but they’re both okay, just looking behind you in surprise. Behind them, two dead bodies stretch across the floor, both prisoners killed by someone else. 

You spin around, your eyes locking on Anders, who stands with a gun in his hand, still smoking. He lowers it, and you stare at him with tears in your eyes. “Thank you.”

“I didn't do it for you, I did it for all mankind.” You hear movement behind you and you turn, Clarke and Bellamy both untied and standing, their clothes different than they were before. Are they different? Were they always in white? They are now in the same clothes as Anders, the long white gown common amongst the Bardoans. You look back at Anders with confusion. “What’s going on?”

“They’re one of us. They belong to the cause.”

You shake your head, “No they aren't. They’re mine. My fiance, my twin, my family.”

He tilts his head to the side, saying nothing as he motions for Clarke and Bellamy to join him. They do, walking right past you, not even sparing you another look, stepping outside of the small house without you. You stand and try to move after them, but a disciple stops you in your tracks, holding you in place as you call out, “Bellamy! Clarke! Wait! Come back, don't leave me here! Please!”

They never turn back for you, but Anders does, his face smiling. “Join the cause and you won't feel fear. You won't feel lonely. You won't feel broken. Isn't that what you want?”

“No, I just want my damn family back!”

You get a rush of a feeling, one you're struggling to identify, but you never get time to figure out why. Anders shakes his head at you, disappointed, and turns to follow Bellamy and Clarke out the door. You stay trapped inside, held back by a disciple, screaming for them until your throat feels raw and painful. As you scream, you pass out with panic, and when your eyes pull open again, you wake with another scream. “Bellamy!”

But as your eyes look around, you find that you are back on Bardo in a stark white room, sitting beside Anders, who is now turned towards you. You sit up and turn to him with a glare, yanking the needle from your arm as you do. “What the hell was that?”

“A test, and you failed. Like Octavia, Hope, and Diyoza before you. You need to give up on your selfish love, the love you have for your twin and your romantic love.”

Your glare deepens, anger starting to rise within you. “I can't just turn it off like a robot.”

“Then you’d better learn to, because if you don't come over to the cause, you'll be sent back to Penance one at a time to grow old and die alone.” He stands, giving you a serious look as he does. “I suggest you commit to the training, or you'll lose your sanity and your life.”

He turns and leaves the room, through the door you walked into, leaving you alone. You sit in shock, frozen, just like you were before. You look up at Levitt, who has been standing silently nearby, and you ask, “What was that?”

“A fear simulation. It draws on your deepest fears and amplifies them.” You say nothing, still frozen, and Levitt continues, “Those two guys that Anders killed, who were they?”

You rack your brain, taking yourself back to the simulation, recognizing the men instantly now that you're back in reality. “Eligius prisoners. Brothers. I killed one when they came back to Earth, and the other tried to kill me in revenge before we left Earth. I almost died.”

Levitt nods, sensing how heavy this is weighing on you, and he motions towards the door. “The others are waiting for you.”

You nod in thanks, standing on shaky legs, and walk towards the door, out to the people on the other side who are keeping you from being a perfect disciple. 

-

Day 5 of training, 73 days until Clarke’s arrival 

You walk down the hall slowly, your eyes scanning the faces of those passing you, wondering if they’re suspicious of you or where you’re heading. But everyone seems uninterested in you or your destination, too invested in their own personal activities. When you reach the door marked 321, you hit the button and immediately slip inside, just like Octavia told you to earlier. During your sparring session, all of you agreed that you needed to meet and catch up, away from prying eyes and ears. Everyone agreed to meet in Echo’s room during personal hours to discuss everything you haven't had the chance to until now.

As the door slides shut behind you, you look up and find that Echo, Hope, Diyoza, and Octavia are already here, talking quietly, waiting for you. They look up at the sound of your arrival, and Octavia hugs you in greeting before motioning for you to sit beside her on the floor. The two Diyoza women are on the bed, and Echo is leaning against the wall, stoic. Everyone turns to you first, wanting to hear what you were up to before joining them in training. “I guess I should start by telling all of you that Clarke isn't the Key. They think she is because she had the Flame in her head in Polis, but they don't realize that she took it out that very same day.”

“So their obsession over her is all for nothing?”

You turn to Hope and nod, before adding, “Levitt knows. He saw it in my memories and told me that I couldn't let them in my head anymore in M-Cap. So after deleting the file, he told me how to beat the machine, which is what I started doing the next day. Eventually, Anders realized I wasn't letting him back in again and now I’m here.”

“Why are they keeping us separated from Gabriel?”

You shake your head at Octavia and shrug. “I’m not sure. Levitt did tell me that I was being kept from all of you because they were worried I'd try to escape once we reunited. Maybe they know we won’t leave without Gabriel, or maybe it’s because he’s part of the cipher team for the stone and they’re worried he’ll pass information to us.”

Diyoza adds, “They want us to break our bonds.”

“That too. They can't really keep the five of us separated because it would be a pain to train us all that way, but they can keep us away from him at the very least.” You sigh and shrug, “For now, we know we have a friend somewhere else around here. He knows the truth about Clarke too.”

Echo, who has been silent up until now, finally speaks up. “With the exception of Levitt and Gabriel, this needs to stay between us.”

“Agreed. I’m worried we’ll become more expendable if they know the truth, so we hold this one close to our chest until we need to use it.” You look around the room at everyone, making sure they nod in agreement before you ask, “Good. Now what were the four of you up to while I was gone?”

“Nothing as exciting as you. We spent seven days locked up before Echo figured out that they wanted us to fight, so we agreed to join their cause. We were only training for a few days when you showed up.”

“Did Anders take you to the surface?”

“Yes.”

You nod. “Good, so now we all know that the only way off of Bardo is through the heavily guarded Stone Room. They say Clarke is on her way to us, but because of time dilation, it’ll be a few weeks before she arrives. Until then, we play the part of disciple, pass their tests, and earn their trust. Agreed?”

You again make sure everyone nods before you ask, “Is there anything else we should all know?”

Everyone shakes their heads, nothing of importance to offer. But Diyoza speaks up to say, “We should only meet when necessary, and we’ll use a different room each time, just in case. When someone has something to share, find a way to signal the others, and we’ll meet in Octavia’s room next. Sound good?”

Everyone nods in agreement before Diyoza stands. “Wait a few minutes before leaving. I’ll see you beauty queens tomorrow.”

And without another word, she slips from the room. You, Octavia, and Hope talk for a few minutes before Hope is the next to leave, and then you and Octavia hang out before she too leaves, you and Echo now alone. You linger for a minute, looking at her, your incredibly stoic friend, her face still fresh with scars. This is the first time you’ve really been able to talk to her since you found out about Bellamy’s death, and you’re starting to worry that she isn't taking it well. You glance over at her, her eyes locked on her feet, avoiding your gaze, and you mutter, “Echo. Ash. talk to me.”

She looks up, shrugging off your concern the same way you shrugged off hers on Skyring. “I’m fine.”

Your eyes land on the scars on her face, and you cut her a look. She shrugs again, “This is how my people symbolize that the pain is over. The wound is healed, but we never forget. I will never forget what they did to Bellamy, to my family, to you.”

“Echo, I don't want you to lose yourself to this cause. You were the one that told me losing yourself to the mission only hurts yourself. I don't want that for you.”

“I want it for me. I failed Bellamy, and you, and my family. Bardo broke us, so I'm going to break them.”

You shake your head, “We are not broken, Echo. Bellamy may be gone, but he lives on in us and our family. We’re going to survive and live for him. We’re going to get off of this planet and go home.”

She nods a little, tears in her eyes, though she tries to hide them. You spent five years on a planet with her, becoming like family, and you know how important that is to her. Losing part of her family is like losing part of herself, and it's not something Echo takes lightly, which is obvious by her quiet intensity. You start to worry that she’ll never soften again, existing only in torn edges and sharp corners, which is why you hold your arms out for her, urging her to come hug you. You don't know if it's enough, if it’ll help, but it seems like the right thing to do. She crosses the room towards you and pulls you into her arms, the two of you standing in the middle of her room, sniffing quietly as you both hold back tears, mourning the man you both loved.

Losing Bellamy is like losing part of yourself, part of your heart, and you’re sure the hole in your heart will never be filled, not even if you fall in love again. Because Bellamy is special. He’s bright and magnetic and wonderful, with a soft side that he keeps hidden for those closest to him. He is stormy and protective and loyal, and it's hard to fathom a world without him in it. You’re not sure if your brain will ever fully process the loss, because it’s easier to pretend that he’s somewhere else. Back on Sanctum, waiting for you in your room above the tavern. Back on Earth, in the house you saved for you both, the Iliad in his hands, just waiting to read to you.

Bellamy was easy to love, which makes him hard to lose. The world seems less bright without him in it, and it hurts you to know that so few people know of his loss. He deserves to be mourned properly, to be buried somewhere he can be visited, but you’ll likely never get that. Not with his body gone, blown to bits by the disciple and his grenade. And maybe that’s what hurts most of all, that he can't be mourned in the way he deserves. He didn't deserve to be killed the way he was, he didn't deserve the death that was given to him. He deserved to live long and grow old, with you by his side, watching his grandchildren play. He deserved a life happier than the one he got, with no more war or killing. Instead, he was killed while trying to protect Octavia. Something that is so true to his nature, but so painful nonetheless.

As you pull away from Echo and look into her tear stained face, you regret that there are five years worth of memories that you never got to share with him. He never got to see your friendship with Echo, or hear about your non crooked stitches. You never got to share your cooking with him, or show him how well you can shoot a bow. You have five years of memories, all of them without him, all of them made while he was being killed on Bardo.

-

Day 12 of training, 66 days until Clarke’s arrival

Before training could begin, Anders pulls you, Octavia, Echo, Hope, and Diyoza from the room and tells you to follow him and Levitt to some unknown destination. None of you argue, though you're not sure you would if you could, silently following the two men down the hall, long aware of the fact that the questions you ask are rarely answered. 

They lead the five of you to a lab, one technician inside. They flip on the lights in the room, revealing two long rows of tubes, a baby floating inside each one. The five of you all exchange a weird look before you tentatively move closer, stopping in front of one of the tubes to look at the baby floating inside. Levitt and Anders let all of you take in the sight in silence, aware that it’s a lot to process. Diyoza is the first to accept the babies, her tone light as she jokes, “No morning sickness, sign me up.”

Anders nods and expands on her point. “No negative effects on a person’s health in any way, and we can monitor the embryos and the extracorporeal gestational systems for birth defects and correct them before they are born.”

Levitt sees you and Octavia still exchanging weirded out looks, and he adds, “I know it must seem strange, but the fact that you gestated in someone’s body is equally as bizarre to us.”

Diyoza turns to Hope and smirks, “You did kick the hell out of my kidneys.”

“Exactly. In our method, none of our people are laid up for extended periods of time. Do you want to know how many embryos we have?” Anders pauses to look at all of you, his eyes landing on you as he continues. “35, the same number of disciples that you have murdered.”

All of you exchange a tense look, clearly not forgiven for the disciples you've killed, but Octavia shakes her head, confused. “If you need as many warriors as possible, then why don't you just hatch a larger army?”

“Resources. It's a limited world.”

Hope mutters, “And you can only mind control so many at a time, so-”

Diyoza cuts her off and cuts her a look, trying to cover for her by asking, “And these kids, they don't have and parents to take care of them after they're...deglopped?”

Anders nods, “The team raises the children until they're ready for the creche, and then it's everyone's job.”

Diyoza clarifies, “So they don't form selfish bonds.”

Anders smiles a little, “Exactly. You're learning.”

Hope cuts a look at her mother, and Diyoza cuts one right back, the two women clearly not on the same page. You turn away and look back at one of the babies, your hand instinctively lifting to your own stomach. You try to imagine what it’s like to be pregnant, something you thought you’d get to experience with Bellamy. But now, that is just another dream stolen by Bardo. You feel a pang of sadness for the children you’ll never get to have with him, reminded each day that you spend in Bardo that this planet has stolen nearly everything from you. 

You have to push away the flash of anger that threatens to rise, reminding yourself to be a mask of calm, playing your part until you can get out of here.

-

Day 14 of training, 64 days until Clarke’s arrival

Two days after your trip to see the test tube babies, Anders announces another field trip, this time, without Levitt. He stays behind to train the others while Anders leads you down the hall to one of the classrooms, eager to give all of you a taste of the education that the Bardoans receive when they’re younger. You’re all led into a large classroom, all of the walls covered with artwork, reminding you of the school on Sanctum, and the school in Mount Weather, making you long for the school on the Ark that you never got to attend. 

There are five kids in the room with the teacher, who greets Anders enthusiastically. Behind the five children are five empty chairs, one for each of you, and you take a seat between Octavia and Echo. Anders and the teacher speak quietly for a minute, clearly discussing what the kids have been learning, because Anders turns around and smiles. “I understand you have learned a lot about the Shepherd's journey. Who can tell me about Etherea?”

A girl in front of Hope eagerly waves her hand, and Anders points at her. She drops her hand and answers, “The mountain was very tall and very scary, but the Shepherd was brave and wise.”

“Excellent. Who else can tell me something about the Shepherd's journey to enlightenment? What passage do we have in our books about it?” Nearly everyone raises their hand, except for the little boy sitting in front of you. Anders directs his gaze over to him, and nods. “Sean.”

Sean looks up at him, worried, and stutters, “I- I don't know.”

The teacher looks at Sean with an empathetic smile. “Sometimes when new things happen, we get nervous. We have feelings we need to learn to control, otherwise they control us. But when we feel out of control, we know what to do. Perhaps we'll have the honor of Mr. Anders leading us in our exercise.”

Anders nods, still smiling. “My pleasure. Okay, close your eyes.”

The kids quickly comply, but the five of you are more suspicious. Octavia glances at you, and you both shrug, before she closes her eyes. Then Echo, then Diyoza, until only you and Hope have your eyes open. Anders opens his and looks between you both, urging, “Everyone.”

You suppress an eye roll and close your eyes, listening to Anders as he leads the room. “Now take a deep breath. Hold it and let it out slowly on the count of three.” 

You do as he says, taking in a deep breath, letting it out slowly when he tells you to. Then you listen as everyone in the room chants, “The Shepherd brings us calm. The Shepherd brings us wisdom. The Shepherd brings us love for all mankind.”

There is a pause before Anders takes the lead again, “Now open your eyes and breathe.”

All of you comply, your eyes pulling open and landing on Anders, who is steadily watching Hope. You glance over at her, noting the annoyance on her face, which Anders also seems to notice, though he pretends not to. “Excellent. Miss Haggerman, thank you for your time. Continue working hard.”

He motions for all of you to follow him, and you stand from your chairs and move towards the door, following Anders path. Behind you, you can hear Hope whisper, “Oh, this is some serious brainwashing.”

Echo counters, “These kids had it better than I ever did.”

You turn to glance at Echo, remembering the stories she’s told you of her childhood, and you offer her a sympathetic look. She pretends not to notice, all of you remembering to go blank faced as soon as you’re out in the hall and under the watchful eyes of the disciples, morphing into who they want you to be.

-

Day 18 of training, 60 days until Clarke’s arrival

You all sit in tense silence, waiting for Echo, the last to arrive.

Hope and Diyoza are sitting on your bed, and you and Octavia are leaning against opposite walls, all of you anxious to begin the meeting that Echo called. You’re careful to only call these when necessary, though you’ve been even more cautious as of late, due to your training nearing its end. You know all of you will be given your final tests soon, and it’s vital that you pass and appear to be perfect soldiers. At the very least, you need to be convincing ones. 

Which is why you've avoided any meetings if you can help it. But Echo seemed pretty adamant that this needed to be called, so everyone complied, agreeing to gather in your room as soon as possible, which is where you are now, waiting for Echo’s arrival. It’s only a few minutes before she slips in the room, and as soon as the door is shut behind her, she closes the space between herself and Hope, glaring as she moves. “They are watching us all of the time. You've got to try harder.”

Diyoza nods in agreement. “She's right. Echo's the only one that passed the fear simulation, but you're the only one who almost killed Anders.”

Hope mutters, “Yeah, wish it was real.”

“Stop.'' Everyone turns to look at Octavia, who is now moving over to Hope, a scolding look on her face. “Get your anger under control, or do you want to go to Penance alone?”

“What do they want with us, anyway? We can already kick the disciples' asses.”

You cut Hope a look, “Not the point.”

“Single minded devotion. Screw your friends, family. You've got to bury your love and your anger and everything else so deep they'll never find it.”

Echo adds, “It's not that hard.”

“Yeah, for you.” Hope turns her anger on Echo, taking the low blow. “You know, you just like having someone give you orders again so you don't have to think for yourself.”

“Hope.” She ignores your scolding tone and keeps her gaze focused on Echo, waiting for a reaction. Echo scoffs, “I think it's time for me to go to bed.”

She walks towards the door, but stops when she’s right in front of it, turning to look at Hope again. “Damn yourself if you want to, but I believe in what they're teaching, and I will not let you take me down with you.”

Echo pushes the button to your door and slips outside without another word, leaving the rest of you in silence, a little stunned by her admission of believing in the disciples. None of you really know what to say after that, and Hope seems annoyed by all of you ganging up on her, so everyone breaks apart pretty soon after, going off to their respective rooms to process the new information.

-

Day 26 of training, 53 days until Clarke’s arrival

As soon as all of you arrive at training in the morning, Levitt informs you that today will be spent primarily working with weapons training and learning how to properly use the suits. You all follow him down the hall to a new room, one you haven't seen before, weapons covering every inch of the walls. Levitt sends those more familiar with the suits, the native Bardoans, to a different room to spar, while you and the others are fitted with gloves. 

Octavia volunteers to go first, sitting patiently as Levitt measures her hands and picks her out a pair of gloves, while Diyoza watches on. You, Echo, and Hope walk around the room, surveying the weapons as Levitt explains the gloves to you. “They're like trainers for the suits, and they work with muscle contractions. Not as cool as swords, but still pretty effective.”

Diyoza snorts a little at Levitt’s inability to hide his awe for Octavia, and you look over at her, the two of you sharing a look and holding back a laugh. Octavia throws both of you a scolding look before nodding towards the guns and asking, “Do we get to play with those?”

“You'll be cross trained on all of them eventually.”

Hope points towards a weapon, built almost like a rifle, situated in a case by itself. “What is this?”

Diyoza, familiar with the weapon from her time on Earth, answers her daughter before Levitt can. “That's a flamethrower. It'll make you smokey and crispy.”

“We don't know what we'll be fighting, so we have to be prepared for everything.”

Echo nudges you and when you turn to look her way, she nods towards a large door behind Diyoza. It’s intimidating, seemingly locked tight, a warning printed on the front containing the word ‘biohazard’. You share a look with Echo before she looks over her shoulder at Levitt. “What's in here?”

“Only level 11s and above allowed.”

“Bioweapons?”

“Not a weapon, at least not anything that we would ever use.” Levitt pauses, looking like he wants to say more, but hesitant to do so. Octavia puts her hand over his and squeezes lightly, smiling at him, laying on the charm. “If we're gonna go all in, you're gonna have to trust us.”

You exchange another look with Diyoza, the two of you smirking as Levitt falls for it and adds, “After years of study, we've managed to isolate the substance that wiped out the former inhabitants of this planet.”

You look at Levitt in confusion, “Those crystal creatures that are outside?”

“Yes. We call in Gem 9, and the little that we have would wipe out everyone on Bardo.” He seems uncomfortable to say it, noting the shock on all of your faces as you take in the fact that behind that scary door is a substance that can kill everyone here. Wanlida smiles at the thought, already working on a plan, but you shake your head and stop her, not wanting to go down that path. Not right now. Levitt must sense the shift in the attitude of the room, because he looks over all of you and calls out, “Now it's time to train.”

After quickly fitting the rest of you for gloves, he leads you into another room, where your other trainees, and now Anders, are waiting. As soon as everyone arrives, Anders pairs you off and begins to explain the exercise of the day. “This exercise is about communication and teamwork. It's very simple. The shooter will be firing blindly, and they'll have to listen to their spotter to hit the small target behind me. First person who hits it wins.”

Everyone nods in understanding, and your partner, a girl named Lila, checks over your glove, making sure it’s on the right way. Once she checks it over, you turn towards Anders and the target. He looks over everyone with a smile, “Please help your partner with the blindfolds.” 

He starts to walk towards you, to get out of the way, but as he does, Echo stops him with a question. “Are these weapons lethal?”

“No.” Anders gives her a strange look, and you resist the urge to do the same thing, wondering why the hell she’d ask something like that. But you don't have time to question it, because Lila starts to shimmy the blindfold onto your head, obstructing your vision. As she pulls it down into place, you hear Anders' voice again, this time from behind you. “Is everyone ready?”

With a murmur of agreement, he states, “Begin.”

You lift your arm towards the general direction of the target, and Lila leans close to you, muttering by your ear. “Down a little, and to the left.”

You shift your arm and adjust your aim, waiting for her next instruction to come, but it never does. Instead, you hear three shots fire out and a series of grunts before you hear a fourth follow suit. Seconds later, you feel a shockwave pass through you, reminding you of the shock batons from the Ark, the force of it knocking you off your feet and onto the ground. You pull off your blindfold and look in Echo’s direction, down where the shots came from, your face scrunching into a glare. “What the hell?”

You pull yourself to your feet as she looks towards you, her face perfectly calm, not an ounce of regret in her expression. “I won.”

You look at her in shock, wondering who the hell this woman is, because it is not the Echo that you used to know. One glance at Hope, Diyoza, and Octavia confirms that they’re all thinking the same thing, equally as confused by this intense change in Echo. Clearly she meant it when she told all of you she believed in what they’re teaching in Bardo, because she’s only gotten weirder and more distant since then. 

Levitt gives Echo a look too, responding to her claim of victory. “Technically, but you broke the spirit of the rules.”

She shrugs, “Following rules isn't how you win a war.”

Behind you, you can hear Anders whisper to Levitt, his voice thick with admiration. “Perfect control. That is how we win.”

You shake your head, not sure you’d ever want to do something that pleases Anders that much. You know that all of you are supposed to be playing the part of perfect disciples, but now you're really starting to worry that Echo is no longer playing. That this is very real for her and that she will betray all of you for Bardo, which worries you even more considering that she knows the secret about Clarke, and the lack of the Flame in her head. If she really believes what Bardo is teaching, you might need to be more careful around her, just in case. And you hate the idea that you’re possibly losing part of your family to Bardo, another thing stolen from you, but at this point, it’s more important to you to protect Clarke, and that means keeping the secret of the Flame.

-

Day 37 of training, 42 days until Clarke’s arrival

You wake before the morning alarm and lie awake in bed, staring at the ceiling. Your thoughts immediately drift to Bellamy and Clarke, something you’ve let yourself do less of the last few days as you prepare for your final tests in becoming a disciple. You don't know when they’re coming, they just seem to spring them on you the day of, meaning you have to stay prepared. And anytime you let yourself get lost in your thoughts and memories of Bellamy and Clarke, you find it difficult to focus for the rest of the day, difficult to play the part you’re supposed to be playing, your emotions written all over your face for everyone to see. 

So instead of letting your brain run free this morning, you hop into the shower, turning the water as hot as it will go, hoping it will serve as a good distraction from the chaos in your mind. You focus on the movements of your shower, washing your hair and face and body, carefully getting the knots out of your hair, getting ready for another day as a disciple. As soon as you step out and dry off, you immediately get dressed, not wanting the chill of Bardo to reach you. Before you pull on your socks and boots, you reach down and touch the necklace now chained around your ankle, making sure that it’s still securely in place. The moon hangs just above your foot, a ring held next to it, the last two of your most prized possessions that you still have left. 

You haven't seen your Grounder knife since you tried to break out of Bardo a few weeks ago, and you left the Iliad back in Sanctum, assuming you’d return in no time. Now it’s been over five years and you’re no closer to returning than you were when you arrived at Skyring initially. You sigh and shake the thoughts from your head, tucking the belongings into your sock before pulling on your shoes and heading out for the day, walking straight to the mess hall. 

You look around the room, eyes scanning for Gabriel, wishing you could just get a glance of him and see that he’s okay. Not knowing is killing you more than anything. But just like every other morning, Gabriel is not in the mess hall, leaving you to wonder about his fate as you quickly eat your breakfast. Leaving you to hope that soon, all of you can be reunited again, and you can get off of Bardo.

-

Day 54 of training, 25 days until Clarke’s arrival

Anders releases all of you from training late, well past the time you usually stop for dinner. Once he finally lets you go, everyone rushes off in search of leftovers, but you linger behind, not ready to join them just yet. Your mind has been racing all day, plagued by thoughts of your life before Bardo, your body almost aching with how much you want to be back with the people you love. As the others make a beeline for dinner, you wander the halls of Bardo, letting your feet take you where they want to go. Eventually, unsurprisingly, you find yourself in front of the door to the oxygen farm, staring at the button that will let you in. Technically, there are no rules that you’re aware of that are keeping you out of the arboretum, but you’re sure your presence in the room is highly discouraged, especially considering the fact that you killed ten people when you were here last.

Still, the allure of the woods is too strong and you reach out for the button, slipping inside unnoticed. You kneel just inside of the room and quickly tug off your shoes and socks, standing again and letting the damp grass tickle your feet. You haven't felt the calming aspect of nature in weeks, your body confined to the harsh and sterile landscape of Bardo. You relish in the feel of the Earth between your toes, the cool mist that hangs in the air, and you're reminded again how easy it is to pretend that you're back home on Earth and not on some planet training for a war that you don’t want to fight.

You walk through the trees, reaching out to touch their trunks as you pass, picking a few flowers as you spot them. Nothing more than weeds and wildflowers, not wanting to take the nicer flowers, just wanting something that can remind you of this place once you have to leave again. 

You eventually wander into a field, surrounded by different flowers and plants, and as you reach out and pick a few, you recite their names, something that you used to do with Clarke in Shallow Valley. She was insistent that you and Madi learn the different types of plants that could be used for medicinal purposes, including what those purposes were, and you and Madi spent a lot of time reciting the plants to each other, finding it to be the easiest way to remember. As you reach for a pretty purple flower, you whisper, "Lavender. Lavandula angustifolia, thought to be good for anxiety, sleep, and relaxation.”

You slip the lavender into the rest of your bundle, nearly jumping out of your skin when a voice from behind you says, “You shouldn't be in here.”

Your eyes go wide as you turn and lock eyes with Anders, his smiling expression not matching his scolding tone. His eyes drop to the flowers in your hand and you mutter, “I’m sorry. I just wanted to wind down after training and I thought this might be a nice place to do it.”

“Do you do this often?”

You shake your head, “This is my first time here since…”

You trail off, not wanting to say what you're both thinking. Since you murdered a bunch of disciples in an escape attempt. But Anders understands exactly what you’re alluding to, because his expression drops a little before he nods. “You seem to know a lot about the flowers in your hand.”

You shrug a little, “On Earth, Clarke wanted me to learn about different flowers and their medicinal properties. I guess I've retained some of it.”

“She must have picked that up from your mother. She was a doctor, correct?” You nod, but say nothing, not wanting to have this conversion with Anders, but really feeling like you have no other choice. You start to worry it’s going to make him want to put you back in M-Cap, something that you don't want to deal with, especially now that the scar on the side of your face is healed. Anders must sense this, ever intuitive, because he almost laughs a little at the expression on your face. “Relax, Miss Griffin. I’m not here to interrogate you about Clarke or put you back in M-Cap. Though you may think otherwise, I don’t enjoy forcefully taking people’s memories. As you can see, we've respected your desire to no longer let us in your head.”

“Thank you.”

He acknowledges your thanks with a nod before moving closer to you. “I did come here to offer my assistance though.”

“What do you mean?” 

“You seemed distracted today, and I wanted to remind you that final tests begin soon. We don't expect perfect emotional control from any of you, but we do expect some level of control. You were doing well, up until today, so I wanted to offer a technique.” You nod, hesitant, but unable to disagree. “Do you remember when we went to visit the class and sit in on their lesson?”

“Yes.”

“There was an exercise we did together, that we never really expanded upon to all of you. But it is one that we use in Bardo when we need help seeking control of ourselves and our emotions. I’d like to teach it to you.”

You nod, and Anders motions for you to follow him to the center of the clearing. He surprises you by sitting down in the grass, likely staining his white robes, motioning for you to do the same. You sit across from him, setting your flowers aside, and he looks at you with an unreadable expression before nodding. “Okay, close your eyes.”

You’re tense and uncomfortable, not liking the fact that you are in the oxygen farm with Anders, alone, no one aware that you’re here. And though you don't think Anders would do anything, he still freaks you out and makes you uncomfortable. But as you close your eyes, Wanlida smiles, reminding you that you are not a sheep sitting with a wolf. You are the wolf, and Anders is the sheep. You have killed men and women, you have defied death at every turn, and you have led death to others. If Anders messes with you, you will do the same to him, walking him straight to Death’s door if you have to. 

Once your eyes are closed, Anders whispers, “Take in a deep breath and hold it.”

You suck in a breath and lock it inside, waiting for him to give quiet instructions. “Now let it out, slowly.”

You push the air out past your lips, releasing it back into the atmosphere around you, trying to send some of your anxieties and worries out with it. Anders then whispers, “Repeat after me. The Shepherd brings us calm.”

“The Shepherd brings us calm.”

“The Shepherd brings us wisdom.”

You whisper back, “The Shepherd brings us wisdom.”

“The Shepherd brings us love, for all mankind.”

You cringe inwardly, but you repeat the final line, “The Shepherd brings us love, for all mankind.”

And despite your better judgement, you do feel better when Anders says, “Open your eyes.”

You pull them open and look at Anders' serene expression. “Better?”

You nod, “Yes, thank you.”

“Good.”

He stands and you follow suit, wiping the grass from your pants as he offers, “You know, they can always use extra hands in the medical ward, especially from people with real world experience. Maybe you could volunteer some of your time there.”

You force a smile to your face, “I’d like that.”

He smiles back, opening his mouth to say something else when the evening alarm rings, letting everyone know that you should get to your room if you aren't already. Whatever Anders was going to originally say, he changes his mind with the alarm. “You should get back to your room. I’ll have someone deliver something for you to eat, because a disciple needs their strength.”

“Thank you.”

The two of you look at each other for a minute before you turn and head towards the door, grabbing your boots and socks on the way out, heading back to your room barefoot. As you move, you start to think that maybe there is some good in the repeated mantras that the disciples seem so fond of. Giving yourself something to think about other than the fears running through your head might be a good way to push back against the things that weigh on you throughout the day, which is why you create your own.

I am war, rage singing beneath my skin, running into battle and wearing Death like a crown. 

I am the moon, loss tied to my ankles like chains, trying to pull me down, but still I rise. 

I am fire, wild and untameable, spitting flames when I walk, unapologetic as I burn down the world around me. 

You repeat the words in your head, breathing deeply and pushing your worries away. By the time you reach your room, you feel a sense of calm that you don’t think you’ve felt in years.

-

Day 68 of training, 12 days until Clarke’s arrival

You sit in your bed, staring up at the ceiling, as usual, fiddling with a strap around your thigh. Your brain is trying to drift to distracting thoughts, anxious thoughts, and you remind yourself to stay centered by repeating your mantra in your head. “I am war, rage singing beneath my skin, running into battle and wearing Death like a crown. I am the moon, loss tied to my ankles like chains, trying to pull me down, but still I rise.  I am fire, wild and untameable, spitting flames when I walk, unapologetic as I burn down the world around me.”

As you repeat the words, you hear the door to your room open, and you sit up in confusion, your eyes landing on Hope, who is standing in your doorway with a flamethrower on her back. She gives you an urgent look as she glances out into the hallway. “We need to go.”

You ignore her and stare at the weapon in her hand. “You took the flamethrower?”

“We need to torch the oxygen farm.”

You give her a confused look, “What?”

“I already shut down the fire suppression system. It'll be an inferno. We'll end Bardo today.”

Part of her plan appeals to you, and Hope seems to recognize this because she is already turning and running out the door, expecting you to follow. You run after her, your necklace bouncing against your chest as you move, and you call out, “Hope, wait! What about your mother and Octavia and Gabriel and Echo?”

She reaches an elevator and steps inside, turning to look at you as she answers, “The alarms will create chaos. We'll have time to get to them, and through the confusion, we'll get to the Stone Room and get off this planet.”

You give her a look and step inside, watching her closely as you consider her plan because something feels off to you. This whole moment, something about it is strange, and it’s weighing on you, nagging at you, convincing you to stop Hope. “I don't think you thought this through.”

“I thought you wanted this.” She shakes her head at you, disappointed. “They took Bellamy from you. They stole my life!”

“Yes, but this isn't the right way. Let's go get the others and run this plan by them.”

“Don't you understand? They'll try and stop us. You've seen Echo, they've bought in. We have to save them from themselves.”

The elevator door slides open behind you, and Hope pushes past you and out into the hallway, stalking towards the oxygen farm, despite you protesting behind her. “Hope! Hope, let's talk about this.”

She reaches the door to the oxygen farm and smashes the button, turning on you when it slides open. “Talk? That is not the la lune that I spent five years with on Skyring. That’s not the la lune that nearly drowned trying to save Bellamy.”

She starts to step inside, disappointment rolling off of her in waves. “I guess they got to you too.”

You look at her in shock, that nagging feeling returning as you watch her walk deeper into the woods. She stops and turns towards you, fidgeting with the flamethrower as she scoffs, “You know, I thought Bellamy meant something to you.”

The blow hits you hard, making your breath stutter in your throat, because of course Bellamy meant something to you. He still does. Still, that nagging feeling returns, and you glare at her. “You know he does, but this isn't right!”

“I have to save you from yourself, all of you!”

And as she reaches for the button to activate the flamethrower, your body slips into motion. You are tearing through the trees towards her, the scene unfolding like it’s in slow motion. She doesn't realize you’re closing the space between you until you’re nearly by her side, and as you close the distance between you, your hand reaches for the Grounder knife on your thigh, pulling it from the holster and plunging it into Hope’s neck in one fell swoop. Hope looks at you in shock, blood spilling out from around the knife as she stutters and chokes, before finally she drops to her knees, and you close your eyes in sorrow, your eyes opening up to a bright white room. 

You sit up suddenly, looking down at a needle in your arm, and Hope in a chair beside you, alive and well. Behind you, Levitt stands, looking down at you, and finally the pieces connect. The final fear simulation. You stare at Levitt in shock as you whisper, “I killed her.”

“Yes. And you saved everyone else in Bardo.” He leans down to pull the needle from your arm, relaying the good news to you. “You passed the final test.”

You turn and stare at Hope, still in her own fear simulation, and you feel no excitement over passing the test, because you just simulated killing your friend to do it. And even though it isn't real, it feels cruel to even put you through it, to simulate another death of someone you love on Bardo. It reminds you too much of Bellamy, and you abruptly stand, eager to leave the room and let your emotions out without anyone watching, whispering a quiet goodbye as you slip from the room.

-

Day 80 of training, 2 days until Clarke’s arrival

Once you pass the fear simulation, everyone is given their assignments and given the opportunity to get accustomed to your new routine. You, Octavia, Echo, and the Diyozas have been unable to meet to discuss the fact that Hope failed her fear simulation, because there are eyes on you at all times, just waiting for you to mess up before the Ceremony. You all manage to stay out of trouble and play your parts, and a little over a week later, you’re invited to the Ceremony, held inside the Stone Room. 

Your eyes move to the stone a few times throughout, so close to the way out, but so far at the same time. You try to focus on Levitt, who is moving down the front row, tattooing all of you with your new symbols, literally symbolizing your success as level 2s. He starts with Echo, and then Diyoza, and then Octavia, before finally moving over to you. He lifts the machine to the right side of your face, the two symbols burning into the skin near the start of your cheekbone, back near your hairline. It burns for a second and then it’s over, the flash of pain so temporary compared to everything else you've faced. 

Anders stands at the front of the room, looking you all over with pride, and once everyone has been tattooed, he begins his speech. “You should all be proud. Each of you has shown commitment to the cause, and I'm sure you will serve well in the Last War. Sadly, one of you has not been able to grow for the cause.”

He pauses to glance over at Hope, who is standing close to you, held between two disciples, back to being a prisoner. “The Shepherd is merciful. We don't expect perfect emotional control so soon, certainly not from level 2s. Echo…”

He turns to glance at Echo, down at the other end of the front line, a small smile on his face. “You have been our star student. You fully integrated into our culture, so I'm giving you the honor of deciding Hope's fate.”

Echo glances at Hope, your friend, your family, and shocks all of you with her decision. “We have to break her spirit, rip apart her bonds. 5 years on Penance.”

You can feel the energy shift around Diyoza, Hope, and Octavia, all of them just as shocked as you are about the sentence. And you know all of you are wondering the same thing: is she still on your side? Is she still one of you? But Anders seems satisfied with the punishment, turning to look at Hope’s guards. “A fair sentence. Guards, put her in the cell block until Penance is available.”

They nod and start to lead her away, but Hope panics and starts to fight, looking at Echo with betrayal. “No, no, no! Echo, what are you doing? What are you doing!”

When she gets no reaction from Echo, she turns to her mother, fighting against the guards that are now dragging her away, screaming, “Mom, please! No! Please! Stop!”

You swallow the emotion that threatens to rise, and you know Octavia and Diyoza are doing the same thing, all of your hearts breaking at the sound of Hope’s cries. Anders moves past the moment as if nothing occurred, smiling over the group again. “Her penance begins soon, but your celebration begins now. For all mankind.”

You all lift your hands and repeat the words in perfect unison, thus cementing your fate as one of the Bardoans. A disciple. A level 2. The rest of your identity has been stripped away, hidden, individuality discouraged and unity encouraged. And all the things that make you who you are, like your love for others, your memories, your humanity, are buried deep within you, only let out when you are alone, when you can trust that no one is watching.

The months of hiding yourself scares you, because you worry that you'll start to forget.

Forget what Bardo did to you.

To Bellamy.

To your family.

All of that hidden away in favor of being a good soldier, part of the collective, worried only about the things that will help all mankind.

-

next chapter

[blodreina-noumou]

there have been many unfair and unjust deaths on The 100.

Wells (the first male lead of color, let’s not forget) was slashed to death by an 11-year-old girl in order to correct the tone of the show’s first four episodes - the writers needed to make up for Jasper not dying in the first episode, to guide the show away from its teen drama roots, and to prove that no one was safe.

Finn was on the path to be tortured to death, but was instead mercy-killed by Clarke, while Raven watches and screams in grief and despair. While his death feels inevitable by the time it happens, and is more or less a joke in fandom now, he was a lead at the time, and it was shocking to see Clarke kill him.

Lexa* was killed by her most trusted adviser, on accident, with a stray bullet, just moments after consummating her relationship with Clarke. She doesn’t survive a wound that should have been survivable, despite Clarke’s previous medical capabilities being near-miraculous in other life-or-death situations.

Lincoln* was put on his knees and shot in the head, brutally executed in the mud, sacrificing himself for unnamed Trikru villagers who are never seen or spoken of again. Octavia is forced to watch.

Jasper commits suicide in an exceptionally sad and brutal scene - he could have lived, but had given up on survival at that point, so he didn’t take the chance. Made worse by the implication that Jasper probably didn’t hear Monty’s final declaration of love.

Luna* is killed by Octavia after an unexpected and poorly foreshadowed heel turn, despite seemingly being foreshadowed for three seasons as a peaceful alternative to the violent society of the Grounders.

Shaw* is randomly killed by a radiation shield, after an entire season of building up his relationship with Raven as endgame - another romantic relationship which is cut short just a few hours after it was consummated. Another man of color killed off in a violent and sudden way.

And Bellamy* is shot through the heart by his canonical best friend (and for a very large chunk of the audience, fanon love interest,) dying alone, an enemy and stranger to his former friends and allies, believing in a faith in which the audience has zero interested or investment.

(*It’s worth mentioning that all of the starred characters were written off in part because the actor wanted to leave for another show. In Bellamy’s case, Bob allegedly “asked for some time off” according to Jason Rothenberg. In my opinion, the number of people leaving the show early or wanting time away does not indicate a very positive or happy working environment.)

So, what’s my point?

Bellamy’s death is absolutely on brand for The 100.

Look, it’s okay to be upset. In fact, it’s natural! It’s clear that Bellamy’s death was intended to be upsetting and meant to spark a lot of conversation, if not outright outrage.

But to say that this was out of character for Clarke, who has already made it very clear that she will do anything to protect Madi, or not fully on brand for this show, which kills characters at an alarming rate regardless of perceived status, is just silly.

Death is an integral part of this universe, and we’ve very rarely seen situations where someone’s death is justified or satisfying. I think I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve enjoyed seeing a character die on this show.

If you were pulling for a happy ending for any of these characters, but especially for Bellamy and Clarke - if you were pulling for a canonical “Bellarke endgame” - I truly just don’t think you were paying very much attention to the actual show for the past seven years. 

This is why so many people who don’t ship Bellarke have been so irritated and baffled by Bellarke shippers for so long. The 100 has never and will never be a romance. JRoth made that painfully, painfully clear in 7x13.

But the thing is, it was already made clear for so many of us, so many times over, who have lost our own favorite couples to unexpected and unjustified deaths. And most of those OTPs were actually canon!

(This show has taken something from all of us. Welcome to the club!)

While we mourned Clexa and Linctavia and Zaven, so many of y’all rolled your eyes and just churned out endless Bellarke content and theories, and demanded more and more and more. 

You stole meaningful moments from other characters. You harassed, bullied, and threatened actors like Lindsey Morgan when she spoke out against the ship. You attacked Tasya Teles constantly, and refused to recognize the significance of Echo’s role in the universe and in Bellamy’s life. You cliqued up hard and ostracized people who disagreed with you, especially those who pointed out the inaccuracies in your theories. Some of you even celebrated Lexa’s death, certain that meant that the door was open for Bellamy and Clarke to get together. Ever since Becho became a thing, you’ve vilified Echo and rooted for her downfall and death. You’ve behaved like spoiled, entitled children.

You convinced yourselves that this sci-fi show was a ship war! And you convinced yourselves that you were winning, that you were destined to achieve that bullshit golden ring of a canon romance. 

But that was never real! No one ever promised you a canon Bellarke ending, or a happy Bellarke ending, or even a neutral Bellarke ending!

If you feel cheated out of something, that’s on you.

Fanfiction and headcanons are great! But assuming you have all the answers to someone else’s creative project, to the point where you’re getting angry and acting entitled and throwing around accusations of baiting, only because things didn’t play out the way you wanted them to/assumed they were destined to, is just not a good look for anyone, anywhere.

You aren’t entitled to any ending in fiction. You aren’t entitled to a happy ending or a satisfying ending. 

Yes, you can criticize a creative work if you don’t like it, or the choices don’t make sense to you, or you wanted something different. You can absolutely decide that you won’t continue to support a creator’s work moving forward, if you don’t like what they do with their stories.

But this melting down in the Bellarke fandom, while entirely expected and very on brand for y’all, is just sad. It’s juvenile and it’s embarrassing. 

I hope y’all move forward from this with some lessons learned. Fanon is not canon. And no amount of screaming and crying and tantrum throwing can force someone to write the story you want them to write.

[troped-fanfic-challenge]

Chopped: Holiday Trope Exchange 2020 Masterlist!

A huge thanks to every person who signed up for our fic exchange, we got 21 really wonderful fics! We’re sorry it took us so long to get this out to you all! For anyone who isn’t sure what this was all about, this was a double blind gift exchange where each of our twenty-one (21!!!) writers were assigned four tropes from an anonymous recipient, and were tasked with writing a fic that fit our holiday theme, and included all the tropes. The only guidance from their recipient were a couple of brief notes they included during the sign up, and both the writer and recipient were revealed when we shared all the fics! A big thanks to the Tropesters who stepped up to write a second fic when we needed them! These fics, as with all our TROPED fics, were creative and unique, and found ways to utilise tropes that may seem so simple but were transformed in really spectacular ways! Please enjoy these wonderful holiday fics!

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roots in my dreamland (my house of stone, your ivy grows) (Rated M) [Bellarke]

Written by @captaindaddykru for @thelittlefanpire. The four assigned tropes were 1) Doppelgängers, 2) one character is a dancer, 3) first snow, and 4) kissing to keep a cover/a secret.

Summary: Clarke really wants it to work out with Bellamy, but as an A-list Hollywood actress there’s a lot of contractual obligations she can hide behind instead of confronting her own insecurities and past mistakes. Luckily, this Christmas she’s lucked out, and her stand-in Josie is more than willing to (completely selflessly of course) take her place.

Now comes the hard part.

brighter than moonbeams (Rated T) [Memori]

Written by @the-most-beautiful-broom for @thedefinitionofendgame. The four assigned tropes were 1) The characters play a game,2) Secret Santa, 3) Exes to Lovers, and 4) Surprise kiss.

Summary: Murphy and Emori fall in love fast, and then talk themselves out of it. Years later, their paths will cross again, and they realize that their might be parts of their story that are yet to be written.

What a way to start the year (Rated T) [Bellarke]

Written by @bellarkeshoe for @bellamysgriffin. The four assigned tropes were 1) Law enforcement partners, 2) Character gets BADLY injured and they hide it somehow only to reveal later that they are mortally wounded, 3) Characters hugging after they’ve been through hell, and 4) Kissing in the snow.

Summary: It’s New Years Eve, and Bellamy and Clarke got stuck working.

It’s Alright, It’s Okay (Rated M) [Clurphy]

Written by @sailawaymayday for @wwjacksparrowd. The four assigned tropes were 1) Found Family, 2) Groundhog Day/timeloop, 3) Character gets shot/stabbed/BADLY injured and hides the wound somehow, only to accidentally (someone else touches them and their bleeding, they collapse, etc.) reveal later that they are mortally wounded, and 4) Hurt/Comfort.

Summary: Clarke makes it onto the Ring with the rest of Spacekru. What happens when New Years Eve keeps repeating itself? And what does Murphy have to do with it?

Dancing in Graveyards: An Arkadia Anthology (Rated T) [Gen Fic]

Written by @justbecauseyoubelievesomething for @kinetic-elaboration. The four assigned tropes were 1) Small town gothic, 2) Christmas Lights, 3) First snow, and 4) Sneaking someone in/out of your window.

Summary: Three small town gothic stories intertwine as old friends reunite and try to make the best out of their lives. Raven returns home after her foster father’s death and is pulled like a magnet to her enigmatic highschool sweetheart. Jasper seeks solace from a tragedy and desperately attempts to outrun the ghosts of the past. Bellamy battles his inner demons and prays not to tear himself and his loved ones apart in the process. And all of them come to realize that they belong together, even if the place they call home is shadowed by sorrow.

do or die, you’ll never make me (because the world will never take my heart) (Rated T) [Bellarke]

Written by @shen-gong-oops for @probably-voldemort. The four assigned tropes were 1) Fake dating, 2) Amnesia AU, 3) Enemies to Friends to Lovers, and 4) Superhero AU.

Summary: As the youngest member of the Guard and the daughter of the Guard former leader, there are high expectations set for Clarke. The Marketing and PR teams at Ark expecting her to be prim and proper during any conferences, while simultaneously performing their well-rehearsed fight choreography to a T.

But when four unknown supes challenge the juggernaut that is Ark Industries, Clarke wonders if herodom isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Merry Christmas, Lovebirds (Rated G) [Murven]

Written by @kinetic-elaboration for @shen-gong-oops. The four assigned tropes were 1) One character cautiously says “i’m going to kiss you now, okay?” or some variation of that, 2) Mutual pining, 3) A misunderstanding, and 4) Tattoos.

Summary: There’s never snow for Christmas on the beach, Murphy is a culinary genius, Raven has a boyfriend, and other presumed facts, too obvious to mention.

Once Upon Our Story (Rated G) [Bellarke]

Written by @andthelightbulbclicks for @bellamythology. The four assigned tropes were 1) break-up/make-up, 2) Did they or didn’t they, 3) Extremely biased flashbacks of the same event, and 4) Bookstore or library AU.

Summary: Bellamy returns with as much fanfare as one can imagine when driving a school bus decorated as Santa Claus through town, leaving Clarke shocked and all of their friends confused given he hasn’t been home in months.

(Or: Six months ago, Bellamy left Arkadia.

Six months ago, Clarke didn’t.

Six months ago, their friends knew the relationship ended, even came up with their own versions of what really happened. But the question that they all want to know for certain– is why?)

Dream A Little Dream of Me (Rated T) [Clurphy]

Written by @queenemori for @vmreed. The four assigned tropes were 1) One character has a child, 2) Protectiveness, 3) Only one bed, and 4) Soulmates.

Summary: It was just Murphy’s luck that right as he was starting to enjoy Earth, he had to leave. But he’d rather that than succumb to a fiery death wave. He and the other residents of the Ring remembered Clarke every year during their New Year’s Eve celebration. But even when they weren’t celebrating Clarke, Murphy couldn’t seem to get her off his mind. He wished his brain would stop playing tricks on him by making him think she was alive. Clarke was dead. Wasn’t she?

i don’t wanna burn out, so wont you please set me on fire again? (Rated M) [Murven]

Written by @kuklash for @sparklyfairymira. The four assigned tropes were 1) Protectiveness, 2) Exes and Lovers, 3) Small Town AU, and 4) Characters fall on each other and have a moment.

Summary: The wind nipped at Murphy’s nose as he stood in the doorway of the gas station on the edge of town. Work was slow, as it always was after sundown, especially in the mid-December cold, but someone had to make sure the good townsfolk of Arkadia could get their milk and gas after the small general store closed. All 800 of them. He watched the cars drive by throughout the day, recognizing each and everyone of them. Bellamy’s beat up truck he worked all highschool to afford, Clarke’s clean new sedan, even that jerk Finn’s loud ass motorcycle. He watched them all pass one by one, his old classmates returning home after another semester of college at the University of Polis. The only sign that time was passing at all.

The phone inside rang, breaking him out of his melancholy, at least for now.

“Great,” he thought, sarcastically. “A phone call 10 minutes before we close.”

He walked back inside and put on the most cheerful customer service voice he could muster.

“Dropship Gas, this is Murphy. How can I he-”

A familiar female voice cut him off, leaving him cold.

“Murphy? Thank god!”

It was his ex.

Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you (Rated M) [Bellarke]

Written by @sparklyfairymira for @captaindaddykru. The four assigned tropes were 1) Celebrity AU, 2) Meet Ugly, 3) Characters must share something, and 4) Characters aren’t together but are mistaken to be.

Summary: Bellamy Blake and Clarke Griffin are household names thanks to their music. They belong to the same label so they often work together on duets—even though they can’t stand one another. Their first meeting is disastrous and six years later they still can’t get along.

toward brighter days (Rated T) [Sea Mechanic]

Written by @reggieshamster for @/ashplana. The four assigned tropes were 1) Apocalyptic Log, 2) bed sharing, 3) road trip au, and 4) mythical creatures.

Summary: Dear Harper,

I am ridiculously out of it this morning. Last night, when we reached the campsite, Luna suggested we give Echo her own bedroll, since she gave hers up the night before.

Which meant Luna was sleeping with me.

Beside me.

Excerpts from Raven’s journal as she travels to Polis for the Winter Solstice Festival

three words, two hearts, one maybe (Rated G) [Bellarke]

Written by @bellamysgriffin for @bellarkeshoe. The four assigned tropes were 1) Youtuber AU, 2) best friend’s sibling, 3) frikdreina, and 4) miscommunication.

Summary: After an accident blinds Clarke, Octavia’s been encouraging her best friend to keep up with her artwork. In order to inspire her, she recruits the help of her older brother, Bellamy, who’s recently launched a new exhibition at his museum, to feature her work. Bellamy likes Clarke’s work, and he’s more than happy to help. But when she doesn’t show on the big day, he takes matters into his own hands. With an old video camera, he records people’s reactions to Clarke’s artwork so that she’ll know just how talented she is. But when he sends it to his sister, he doesn’t expect her to upload it to YouTube. And he definitely doesn’t expect to go viral.

Something Beautiful, Simple, and Bright (Rated T) [Clurphy]

Written by @wwjacksparrowd for @queenemori. The four assigned tropes were 1) Friends with Benefits AU, 2) Prank war, 3) characters are not together but are mistaken for a couple, and 4) Based on a Song.

Summary: Six months after Wonkru and Eligius manage to establish peace and divide Eden between themselves (with a little slice shaved off for Spacekru, of course), Clarke has a mission: plan a New Year’s Eve party for fifteen hundred people within three weeks.

Murphy’s mission? Stop her from burning out in the process. Oh, and if he could just get Monty to quit it with the freaking noisemakers, that would be great, too.

(…Okay, yeah, he’d also like to date Clarke for real instead of just sleeping with her. But that’s a pipe dream, right?)

put your faith in the devil and the deep blue sea (Rated M) [Clurphy]

Written by @probably-voldemort for @kuklash. The four assigned tropes were 1) Time Loop AU, 2) Characters fall on top of one another and have a “moment”, 3) Enemies to Lovers, and 4) Superhero AU.

Summary: Twenty years ago, when the clocks changed from 11:59pm on December 31st, 1999, to 12:00am on January 1st, 2000, the world ended, exactly as the doomsdayers had predicted. Now, there are only a few livable months left on Earth, and the privileged are evacuating for a life in space, abandoning the planet.

But not everyone has given up.

Clarke was only three when the world ended, and she’s spent most of her life in her mother’s lab. Now, as the last space ships are preparing to leave, her mother’s machine is finally ready, and Clarke and her mother are heading back in time to try to stop the apocalypse from happening in the first place.

An attack on the lab leads to Clarke heading back to 1995 on her own, and the past isn’t quite how Clarke’s vague memories from the beginning of her life paint it. Clarke soon discovers that not only did the machine do more than just send her back in time, but she wasn’t, in fact, sent back alone.

Will she be able to stop the apocalypse before the clock strikes midnight? Or are some parts of history unchangeable?

All I Want For Christmas (Rated T) [Memori]

Written by @thedefinitionofendgame for @the-most-beautiful-broom. The four assigned tropes were 1) Fake dating, 2) Joke kiss turned real kiss, 3) One character is sleeping and the other character is watching them totally in love, and 4) Blanket fort.

Summary: Tired of being single, Murphy decides to take matters into his own hands and get himself a girlfriend before the annual Christmas Day dinner with his friends. Having had bad luck in the past with girls - all twenty four of them - Murphy is determined to make the twenty-fifth, the “Christmas Day” number, his forever.

Of course, this is easier said than done. When his fellow coworker, Emori, seems to be having similar problems and suggests them being each other’s “fake dates” to their Christmas parties in December, Murphy jumps at the chance. Fake dating is better than being totally alone, right? It appears that way, at least until Murphy starts to catch feelings; the ones that make you question everything you think you know. As their “fake feelings” start to become more real, Murphy realizes that Emori’s the one he wants for Christmas. But she’s got walls up and even though his heart doesn’t stand a chance, Murphy’s determined to break them down and show her what falling in love really means, maybe with the help of a little December magic thrown in.

As long as we’re together, no I can’t get much higher (Rated T) [Murven]

Written by @dylanobrienisbatman for @andthelightbulbclicks. The four assigned tropes were 1) Zookeeper AU, 2) Treasure Hunt, 3) secret places, and 4) Secret Santa.

Summary: Murphy has only known Raven for a little while, but the longer he spends getting to know her, the more he realises that there’s no hope of him not falling in love with her.

So when he gets her for Secret Santa, he makes it his mission to nail it.

before i knew you (Rated G) [Clexa]

Written by @dylanobrienisbatman for @sailawaymayday. The four assigned tropes were: (1) Pen Pals, (2) 3+1, 4+1, 5+1, etc., (3) surprise kiss, and (4) character meets another characters ex.

Summary: What do you do when your penpal, the person you know the best in the world, who you love, turns out to be the rather rude (if also rather pretty) sales girl from downstairs? Lexa is about to find out. or - 3 times lexa and clarke meet without knowing they’ve been penpals since childhood, and the 1 time Lexa figures it out.

when life gives you shit, you make kool-aid (Rated M) [Becho]

Written by @reggieshamster for @dylanobrienisbatman. The four assigned tropes were: (1) Bodyguard AU, (2) Bed Sharing, (3) Kissing to Keep Cover/a Secret, and (4) a Character gets shot/stabbed/badly injured and they collapse, being caught by their loved one.

Summary: Bellamy used to have it all, and then one screw-up cost him his career and his fancy life. Now, working as a bodyguard for alcoholic businessmen and their families, he gets a call from his sister for a job… escorting a hitwoman to testify against a man convicted of crimes against humanity. What could possibly go wrong?

and left the secret at the grave (Rated T) [Clurphy]

Written by @probably-voldemort for @justbecauseyoubelievesomething. The four assigned tropes were: (1) Murder Mystery, (2) Partners in Crime, (3) Exes to Lovers, and (4) Snowed In.

Summary: At 8:57 on the morning of December 23rd, eight year old Jordan Green discovered the body of Skybox Inn owner Vera Kane on the floor of the lobby. His screams woke up the other guests of the inn, as well as the live-in butler.

The discovery of the body was followed shortly by two more discoveries. The first was that the storm the night before had knocked out the phones and the internet, and the second was that the inn was completely snowed in with no hopes of escape anytime soon.

Thirteen people trapped in an inn.

Uncountable secrets.

One murderer.

One question.

Who killed Vera Kane?

what a tangled string of Christmas lights we weave (Rated T) [Linctavia]

Written by @thelittlefanpire for @reggieshamster. The four assigned tropes were: (1) Royalty AU, (2) Cyrano AU, (3) Characters fall and end up landing on top of each other and have a “moment”, and (4) Hair brushing and/or braiding.

Summary: When the royal family loses their beloved Prince Wells, the future king of Arkadia, all eyes are on them. The Queen remains as stoic as ever, the Spare grapples with his new responsibilities, the Princess drowns in her grief, and the King is threatening to abolish the monarchy forever.

At Christmastime, as tensions in the palace rise with the vicious tabloids outside, the royal family makes an escape to a castle in the mountains, hoping to find solace and reconcile with their loss.

Princess Octavia will try to mend her broken heart back together as she becomes entranced with the letters sent back and forth between herself and another. But when it’s revealed who the true penman is, will she rise above her sorrow or sink further into it?

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Take a read! Leave a kudos/comment! Our Tropesters worked so hard on creating some unique, festive fun fics from all the amazing tropes that were sent in. Thanks again!

[otp-armada]

Right before I woke up this morning, for a moment, my mind dreamt of a scene of Clarke on the Ring. She makes it to the rocket on time. It's her and Bellamy standing at the observation window, watching Earth burn. It's the two of them looking to the future, their people's and their own, together. 4x13 ends with a flash-forward of six years, but one of Spacekru as a family. As we see the eight of them laughing together at a dinner table, the camera pans to a weighted, happy glance shared between Clarke and Bellamy, him lifting their joined hands to his lips, two matching, thin rings of gold metal on their fingers. And that's how the audience comes to know they have coupled up. Boom. Out.

My ears are ringing from the collective shrieking we would have done.

My waking hours are here, and I'd like to play this scenario out to my specifications.

The first half of 5x01 is Spacekru flashbacks, showing us how they bonded to become a family and how Bellarke got together.

In the long, quiet comfort of the Ring, our heroes give voice to their past traumas and heal old grievances.

Clarke tells Bellamy about her father, Bellamy shares stories about his mother. She tells him about her father's kindness and gentle nature, his limitless heart. Jake's teases about Clarke drawing on every plain surface she could find, a habit that began with her childhood. Passionate as she was for sketching, she was in the midst of early medical training. Her exposure to the Council and the Chancellor is what gave Clarke her political acumen. Clarke recounts the games they used to watch with the Jahas. Before long, she's explaining the rules of soccer to a confused but amused Bellamy. Bellamy tells her what little he remembers about his parents before his father died. Aurora's smile. Her sacrifices for her children. Her tenacity. Her love of mythic stories she passed onto him. The overwhelming sense of responsibility she instilled in him from too early an age. Bellamy talks about the challenges of a life spent hiding a little girl under the floorboards from the Ark. Bellamy shares the rewards of being the only pair of siblings to have existed in nearly a hundred years. Unbidden by the role of big brother in Clarke's company, he gives voice to the constraints placed on his life. The hardships of living in Factory Station, while Clarke shrinks in guilt over her bountiful upbringing in Alpha. They both recall the pain of watching their parents get floated. There, in front of their eyes one second, gone forever in the blink of an eye. Clarke discloses that, while privileged, she was a lonely child. Were it not for Wells, she would have had no friends. She talks about him, what Bellamy never got to know about Wells Jaha.

The atmosphere shifts, and their conversations progress to contemporary times.

They discuss their respective tendencies to want to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders. It takes time, but Clarke finally divulges why she felt compelled to leave Camp Jaha. How bereft she felt. Her nightmares and loneliness in self-imposed exile. Wandering around the freezing cold of the woods. Bellamy can't rein in the pain as he reminds Clarke that she didn't bear it all on her own. She couldn't have, not when he was the one left behind to pick up the pieces Mount Weather shredded. He was the one seeing their faces every day. She asked him to come back with her, to their people, once before, and he did. But when he asked her to do the same, she left. They both know it's not apologies he's looking for. It's a promise, a reigniting of an old promise made between two lost souls needing the other when the world threatened to drown them. They readily give in.

Their conversation takes an unexpected turn when Clarke explains why she gave in to Bellamy's plan to go undercover in Mt. Weather. For her to be strong enough to save her people, she couldn't let love hold her back, make her weak. From the second Bellamy left her sight, she regretted it. They both recognize it as the confession she didn't intend to say. Shock settles in. With newfound confidence, it triggers an admission of Bellamy's own feelings. Cue canon Bellarke.

Once the air between them is clear, it was only fair that the effects of Mt. Weather be a topic Clarke and Bellamy discuss with the third member of the room that fateful day. It leads them to the complicated subject of Jasper, the three of them breaking down in tears over their fallen friend.

Six years of peacetime spent in Clarke's company shapes perspective on the girl herself. She's not Clarke Griffin, the fierce and stoic Skaikru leader, equipped with all the answers. She's not Wanheda, the great legend. She's just a girl, with vulnerabilities, insecurities, fears, and demons, just the same as any of them. She becomes a person to them. Real flesh and blood. A human being who does indeed break. And no one is more startled by this revelation than Raven. It's another contentious relationship of Clarke's requiring time to mend. Although sharing feelings doesn't come easily to Raven, the two eventually crack their sibling-like rivalry where Abby and Finn are concerned.

It's the presence of a fellow cockroach well-versed in the glamourous lifestyle of isolation that gets Murphy out of his self-destructive streak. In their own ways, they have both been the outsiders. They make an uncanny pair of confidantes, so says the rest of the kru. But somehow, it works. Trust doesn't come easy for Murphy, and he and Clarke have their fair share of issues. Close quarters force the two of them and Emori to work it out. For all that Clarke excels at contrition, deserved and undeserved, she's also never been one to beat around the bush, no matter Murphy's preference to lash out in his signature style of sharp sarcasm at moments of his choosing. As it is for Bellamy, Clarke's belief in Murphy as a good man is an overwhelming force, one he is not sure he's worthy of, but privately welcomed nevertheless. In time, there arrives a sense of respect and loyalty between them no one foresaw.

Clarke's penchant for extending her hand to the outsiders doesn't end with Murphy and Emori. Clarke was the first to bring Echo on board and, she is the first to treat their errant Azgeda former spy as family. Post-season 4 to the series' end, Echo's character development is at the forefront of her story arc, never filtered through a subpar pairing needed to fuel an insipid love triangle where her leg of it is marked for eventual demolition.

Since I am bound by limitless imagination, let us pretend this was a 2-hour season premiere.

The flashbacks take us through the six years to the present. Spacekru's happiness is juxtaposed, as we transition to below the ground, by the hellscape Wonkru is trapped in. The second half of 5x01 is Wonkru flashbacks, a la 5x02.

5x02 takes us back to Eligius IV, to the passing of Order 11 (is that what it was called?). A young pilot named Shaw chooses to defy his captain's orders, releasing their prisoners. They proceed to take over the ship, killing Shaw's crewmates and captain, Charmaine Diyoza assuming command. She corrals Paxton McCreary and his men to her side. With their mutiny a success, Diyoza tells Shaw to plot a course for Earth. All the while, we see Shaw wrestling with the bloody aftermath of his decisions. They reach Earth's orbit, ready to go home, unknowingly under the watch of 8 survivors in space.

The Eligius prisoners touch ground on the last arable patch of land on Earth and quickly find themselves ensnared in a series of traps by an unknown number of assailants. Their assailant turns out to be a solitary preteen. They capture her, interrogate her. She speaks a language they've never heard. I'm making it a point to emphasize those infernal shock collars do not exist in my little world.

5x03 plays out similarly onboard the Eligius mothership. Our kru arrives, not to borrow a cup of sugar, but to steal the hydrazine for their journey home. Clarke, Bellamy, and kru debates the morality of killing 300 strangers in their sleep before deciding to use them as leverage. Raven and Murphy stay behind. Six Spacekru members fall to Earth and are captured by Eligius. They are taken to Diyoza, where they find a little girl dressed in Grounder garb. Bellamy and Clarke use their trump card to free themselves, Madi, and use their resources to locate Wonkru, with an additional promise to share the land and their knowledge of life on Earth.

5x04 plays out the same, more or less, without the awkward tension of a Bellarke trying to reacclimate themselves to each other's presence again. Diyoza brings Madi, Bellamy, and Clarke to Polis, where Bellarke negotiates for Wonkru's release. They meet Blodreina and her cult of warriors. Fandom squeals seeing Octavia greet her sister-in-law. Wonkru (and Blodreina) comes to realize that they have found a surviving Nightblood. Diyoza betrays the accord, taking Abby and Kane to Shallow Valley and leaving Bellarke and Madi at odds with Octavia.

5x05 sees Bellarke continuing to act in concert as a team, eager to reunite with their lost people while keeping a protective eye on Madi. Tensions brew between them and Blodreina. Marper and Echo return and they all turn back to Polis.

Blodreina refuses to grant pardon to Echo. Spacekru fights on her behalf, while Echo is willfully recruited for Octavia's mission. Madi meets Gaia under Clarke's watchful eye. When Madi is introduced to the Flame, Clarke tries to persuade her not to be swayed by the Flamekeeper's influence. Because this is my fantasy and I can do what I wish, it turns out that Clarke and Bellamy are expecting their first child. Clarke, believing the Flame to be a curse for its bearer, wants to spare Madi a bloody fate. She wants to abolish this aspect of Grounder culture, fearing the chances her child may become the next natural-born Nightblood. She dreads the possibility of her child as the next participant in the Conclave or the next Commander.

Another sidenote I am interjecting. Here, toxic motherhood isn't a defining characteristic of Clarke's, to aid in her isolation and subsequent, continual emotional decline. In my world, she gets to be a protective mother, a loving wife, a compassionate friend, and a caring daughter, all rolled in one little blonde package. She gives love freely, as she does in canon, but receives it in kind. She doesn't sink to rock bottom, nor must she, to be the heroine she is. She draws on the good and the bad experiences she's had to teach others. She imparts her lessons to those in need. Love is a commodity her life isn’t devoid of.

Clarke and Bellamy argue over what to do about Blodreina. Neither wants her to be harmed, but Bellamy maintains that she is, above all, his sister. He needs to believe Octavia is still within reach. He cannot abandon her now that they're together again. Clarke petitions Bellamy to take their family to Shallow Valley before it's too late. They compromise, agreeing to remove Octavia from the board long enough for Indra to take Diyoza's proffered deal. Their plans fail, as per 5x08, and Octavia arrests Clarke, an execution set for after the baby’s birth. We retain the glorious Blake scene of 5x08. It breaks Bellamy's heart to hurt Octavia, but she forced his hand. He has to protect his wife and their baby.

Tensions come to a head between husband and wife, courtesy of 5x09. Bellamy, having exhausted all other options, decides Madi must ascend to Commander to accomplish their goals. It is the only way to protect them all and save the valley. I am once again interrupting my spiel to remark that Clarke knows, unequivocally, she is included on the shortlist of family Bellamy is most ardently trying to protect. Forget "included," she's at the top. Clarke, ever the protective mother, disagrees, citing endangerment to Madi from Octavia and her patriots. Clarke argues that, of Diyoza and Octavia, Diyoza is the lesser evil to their family. As long as they remain within Diyoza's rules, they have nothing to fear from her. Bellamy, seeing Clarke's deep-rooted fear, agrees.

They are delayed by Marper, who wish to stay within the bunker, living off the revitalized algae farm. Bellamy and Clarke don't want to leave them behind until Monty points out that they, for once, deserve the chance to choose their fate, as all of the people of Earth. Octavia recuperates in time to arrest Bellamy, sending him to the fighting pit. Clarke fights to defend him but is detained. Clarke wants to fight alongside him, but they both know she has to live to raise their baby. They are permitted a final goodbye, and they have an emotional last exchange, a.k.a. Kabby parallel. Like Kane before him, Indra is forced to separate another family.

Octavia assures Bellamy that the baby will be under her protection. By now, Bellamy has reached the end of his rope with his baby sister. He loves her, but he can't distinguish her from the monster she's become, and it's about to cost him a life with his family. Disgusted, Bellamy scoffs at her overtures. He reminds her that his child deserves to have its parents. Clarke's earlier words come back as he tells her that she is his family's worst enemy. It wasn't enough for Aurora to leave him responsible for raising his sister at six years old. For the first time, his life is right, and she's the one who's about to take it away. He reminds her what it was like to lose her mother at 17, to never know her father. She knows how devastating it feels. Yet, left up to her, his child would be an orphan. He finishes with a devastating blow: it'll be those he holds as his family who will take care of his wife and child.

Clarke breaks free of her restraints, making plans to cause disruption to the bunker and getting Bellamy out in the ensuing chaos. She is stopped by Monty, who wants to use the opportunity to give Wonkru a better choice. Clarke tells him she isn't gambling Bellamy's life. Monty breaks again, pointing out that the last time he helped her and Bellamy, they split blood, and their plans still failed. Clarke reluctantly relents out of guilt, knowing how Mount Weather continues to haunt Monty. She does, after all, trust him with her life.

Bellamy fights Indra in the pits until the proceedings are interrupted by an intervening Monty, brandishing a pure, white flower in a sea of blood and darkness. Just as he begins to sway Wonkru to his non-volatile solution to the impending war, Blodreina forces compliance by burning the algae farm.

As Wonkru mobilizes for war, the fractured Spacekru and Madi take the rover to the valley to find their friends. They destroy the worms in transit.

They save an incapacitated Abby, who later recounts the Dark Year. Bellamy can't stop the horror he feels at the ordeal his sister has lived through. He feels a pang of guilt he knows is irrational while wrestling with the knowledge that she is still responsible for her choices now.

They reunite with the rest of Spacekru and are surprised to learn McCreary has taken control of the camp. With Diyoza and Kane's assistance, the eye in the sky is reinstalled, giving Eligius the advantage. As much as they want to prevent this war, they cannot leave Wonkru to die in the gorge. The group breaks off. One team is sent to disable the eye in the sky. The other team uses Madi's knowledge of the valley's layout to head off to fight alongside Wonkru in the gorge.

By the time they arrive safely, only Octavia, Indra, and Gaia are left alive. Bellamy convinces Octavia to retreat instead of sacrificing herself. He tells her she has to live with what she's done instead of taking the easy way out. For the most part, I'm picturing the scenes play out as they did in canon. At base camp, Wonkru is in disarray. Too many bodies are left littered from this war, with Blodreina at fault. To stop the in-fighting, Madi attempts to assume control by invoking her natural right to lead as a Nightblood. Some dissent, claiming she is not yet Commander. With support from Gaia, Octavia, and Bellamy (who makes sure this is what she wants), they sway Wonkru to Madi's side. Freshly invigorated, Wonkru prepares for a second assault.

Back on the Eligius ship, Clarke, Raven, and Shaw release an imprisoned Diyoza. They allow themselves to be captured and taken to the ship's central control. While McCreary attempts to force Raven to pilot their ship, she and Clarke regain control. Meanwhile, Bellamy convinces Madi to let the prisoners live.

From here, may I present two alternatives:

Scenario 1: Clarke kills McCreary before he can launch the missile from the mothership. With Spacekru controlling the ship's weaponry and Wonkru overtaking the prisoners, Eligius capitulates. After much deliberation, a new accord is reached, allowing for all survivors to live in peace as a singular society. Spacekru gets their 80 acres. The last of the 10(2) become parents to the next generation. It takes time, but Bellamy and Octavia's relationship heals. Eventually, she earns back her place in his life as his sister. She becomes one of many to welcome Bellarke's little one to the world, ecstatic to be a loving aunt. Generations later, the Earth recovers.

Scenario #2: The missile is launched. Earth's survivors must escape to space to survive. Marper opts out of cryosleep and has a son. It takes Monty ten years to realize Earth may never recover from its last doomsday. He wakes Spacekru+ to determine options. Between him, Raven, and Shaw, the three configure a self-running algorithm to decode the Eligius III mission files. They wire the pods to awaken its occupants every decade to check the algorithm's progress. The McIntyre-Greens go into cryosleep with some gentle persuasion from Bellarke. They won't leave their people behind. Thirty years later, Earth remains dormant. The files reveal the existence of a planet that could support human life, lightyears away, in the binary star system in the Goldilocks zone. They plot a course.

No, it's not as thrilling as the original ending. But if our heroes are going to traipse across the universe, only to return to their home planet, then Marper will not be sacrificed for nada. They will live out their days, a little older, a little wiser, but surrounded by their friends. They will not say farewell to their son at his ripe old age of 26.

There isn't much I would change about season 6, not where its major storylines are concerned. Clarke meets Cillian for his insight on Abby and Kane's deteriorating conditions. I would alter Madi's arc to where she takes the Flame in Sanctum and uses the time while the grounders are in cryosleep to train under Gaia's tutelage. Madi becomes attached to Bellarke, and it leaves her susceptible to Sheidheda's influence when her newfound familial figures find themselves at risk from the Primes. She'd see Sheidheda as a necessary evil to save her people, not unlike Clarke submitting to Lxa's clout. I would have Sheidheda preying on Madi's fears that she'd be alone again as she was during Praimfaya if she doesn't respond with vigor.

Season 7 gets a similar, substantial overhaul I've been thinking about for months but haven't yet written down.

The end.

(When am I going to stop with these sidenotes? After this last point, I promise.) Jason ran too tight a ship to let his post-apocalypse masterpiece become overtaken by frivolous romance. Without this pitfall, what stopped him from coupling Bellarke up before the end? Nothing. He could have a Bellarke that remained symbolic of the show's themes and mythos. A show that thrives on chaos would never run out of conflict to stir the pot. Falling apart and weaving themselves back together has been the model of their relationship since season one. Why couldn't they do this and be a couple? Why couldn't they have the Memori Model? They could have, but Jason chose the path of the slowburn. There's no fault in this. There is a fault in choosing to rescind the previously established story when it comes time for the threads to finally tie together. And I will never forgive him for it.

[travllingbunny]

The 100 7x11 Etherea

This is the episode we’ve been waiting for this whole season - and while I don’t think it’s the best episode of the season, it is certainly the most exciting one. It would be that just the fact that Bellamy is finally back on screen (and not just for a couple of minutes, but for an entire episode fully focused on him), and it was great to see him and have an episode fully devoted to him, and remember once again what an amazing actor Bob is and the presence and intensity he brings to the show. But it also turned out to be the first episode of season 7 that is a genuine game changer and that shocked the viewers with a twist that wasn’t entirely predictable. 

Even though the fandom had been speculating on the so-called brainwashed Bellamy or “void Bellamy” or generally Bellamy that is for some reason the (temporary) enemy of Clarke, Octavia and the rest of the protagonists, and hoping for that storyline, with a Mockingjay-like possibilities for romantic angst between him and Clarke (especially after a photo of Bellamy in the white robe leaked early in the year, months before the season even started to air), the way it happened seems to have upset many of the fans )to quote a podcaster, “I was hoping for a brainwashed Bellamy, but not like this”). Probably because the show has Bellamy retain agency in his transformation and that it is indoctrination into a cult be more like real life and partially rooted in Bellamy’s own emotional issues, beliefs and needs, rather than taking the easier route of having him be Sci-Fi brainwashed, Winter Soldier style.

That said, I’m still not entirely sure how I feel about this episode and how good I think it is. The first half of the episode, Bellamy was very much himself, and it was focused on survival and trying to get off the planet,  and the dynamic between him and Conductor Doucette - throughout the episode - seems to play into the familiar trope of two enemies, or people of opposing views, who have to spend time together, gets to argue, survive together, and eventually bond as fellow humans. This story would not be particularly interesting - not only have we seen it many times, but it feels redundant for Bellamy, who has learned to see the POV of his enemies, bond with them and see the common humanity in them, many seasons ago. It also would not have been interesting if Bellamy managed to change Doucette’s beliefs - which the audience already thinks are rubbish - as this wouldn’t tell us anything new about Bellamy and would only give development to Doucette. 

But instead, what was really happening throughout this episode, under the guise of bonding with the enemy, was Bellamy’s spiritual journey - aka his indoctrination into Cadogan’s cult. The crucial part of it happens not just to his exhaustion and desperation in tough circumstances, or his companion offering him faith as a solution, but through something Bellamy actually sees in the cave, and his own visions a little later.  This is where the episode becomes a lot more interesting - and also a lot more frustrating.  I don’t think I’ll be sure how I feel about this until I see the rest of the season, and learn how some things from this episode are explained or followed up on. In particular, the explanation (or lack of it?) for Bellamy’s visions in this episode will pretty much determine what course the show is taking in its final season and what it is trying to be.

Whatever the explanation, the end result - which we see after Bellamy returns to Bardo - is disturbing and painful to watch. It is something we have never seen before - Bellamy himself trying to enforce a total abnegation of everything Bellamy Blake is. Which includes willingly repressing his feelings for his loved ones to the point of betraying them (and results in the most painful Bellarke reunion ever, and one of the most painful reunions of the Blake siblings). I don’t know if I’m fully buying such a huge transformation - which is one of my problems with the episode. But this is certainly quality angst, and means that the season has become much more exciting to watch.

Is it weird that such a big twist happens in episode 11, out of 16 episodes, after 10 episodes that have been mostly setup for the big plot? Yes, just like it is weird that Bellamy has been MIA before this. BTS reasons obviously affected this season a lot - if it hadn’t been for them, I think we’d have a similar storyline, but this would have happened much earlier in the season. Are 5 episodes enough to resolve this in a satisfactory way? Well, it’s certainly enough to resolve it - this is a show that has characters go from hate to love over the course of 5 episodes, has characters hook up/fall for each other after knowing each other for 2-3 episodes, the show that showed Hope’s entire 10-year relationship with her father figure in a 7 minute scene, and the show that just had this massive character transformation happen over one episode. Will it feel satisfactory and convincing - it could, if it’s well-written and if the show doesn’t waste too much time on the Sanctum plot and fully focuses on its two main characters now that one of them is finally back.

Starting from the beginning - this time, its Bob saying “Previously on”, in line with this season having different cast members saying those opening words in different episodes (Eliza in 7x01, Marie in 7x02, Luisa in 7x03, there was no previously on in 7x04, Marie in 7x05, Lindsey in 7x06, Richard in 7x07, no previously on in 7x08, Eliza in 7x09 and 7x10 - it’s a bit surprising that Eliza said it in episode 9 even though she wasn’t in it at all, but otherwise those fit characters that were strongly featured in the episode in question).

We also get yet another version of the opening titles - which start and finish with a shot of the Anomaly. Earth again makes a cameo near the end, just as it did in 7x10, though it’s in the shadow now so can’t be seen as clearly. 

While 90% of the episode takes place on Etherea, it opens and ends on Bardo. The opening scene is the only one not featuring Bellamy - apart from a replayed memory. We learn that the MCap machine was damaged by Echo, and is only now operational again. Finally, a good explanation why the Disciples did not put Echo, Diyoza or Octavia - again - in MCap after they agreed to cooperate. Levitt is using it on one of the Disciples who were in the Stone Room during the explosion. I guess he was still recovering a week after, and now they are presumably trying to help him, since - as the other Conductor tells Levitt - he is suffering from PTSD. Hey, isn’t that the first time anyone has mentioned that word on the show? At least the Disciples have kept the knowledge about mental health issues, even if their ways of dealing with it are questionable at best. We learn that no one is being punished, not even for killing Anders, as the other conductor says. (Not even? Does she think that’s worse than attempted genocide? Hope didn’t even back down from it as Echo eventually did, and the two Disciples Anders called witnessed it. The Conductor may think that the consequence is more important than intent... But even so, she clearly thinks Anders’ life was more important than those of two other Disciples, who were murdered by Echo as a part of her torturing Levitt. I guess that “For all mankind” thing doesn’t mean you consider all of the people, or even all of the Disciples, equal...)

Levitt finds out what 99% of the audience was sure of anyway and goes “He’s alive!” Surprise, surprise. But Levitt, shouldn’t you say “They are alive?”? Knowing Levitt’s attachment to Octavia, he is talking about Bellamy, not about one of his colleagues, Conductor Doucette, who was also presumed dead. (Doucette, not Douchette - even though the latter would make for a good joke.)

Let’s think about why this scene exists (apart from being used as a sneak peek). Obviously it was full of exposition, but why was it important for Levitt to find out that Bellamy is alive at the same time as we learn about it? We could have just seen Bellamy falling through the Bridge to the planet of Etherea. I suppose the purpose is dual: 1) to learn that the Disciples indeed did not know Bellamy was alive and on Etherea, 2) to learn that Cadogan knew Bellamy was alive an on Etherea, at least a few hours to a day before his return, which may be important for the events of this episode.

One of the questions the fandom has been debating is, did Anders intentionally send Bellamy to Etherea to be indoctrinated? Since 7x05, I have believed that Bellamy was on Etherea, and my initial reading of the scene was that Anders made the decision to send him there - and that this was why Doucette started to beg him: “Please, sir, no”, as he wasn’t happy to be stranded there. Then I started second-guessing it, because it became increasingly obvious that Anders was dumb as a brick and unable to come up with any smart plans how to brainwash people (as we saw with HEDO - he just threatened them into compliance instead of trying to really change their minds). Now I think that sending people to Etherea may be a standard practice that Disciples do on very special occasions when they want to send someone on a spiritual journey/pilgrimage/true brainwashing that they can’t come back until they make a ‘leap of faith” (just like they use Skyring as a standard prison). Maybe this is not even something that most Disciples know, but info only reserved for Level 12s or even Level 13s. But the grenade attack was real and made Anders believe Bellamy was dead and the plan was off - as there is no reason to believe that anything before Bellamy’s last day in the cave was manipulated from Bardo.

However, that last day - with Bellamy’s visions - could have been, and it happened around the same time Cadogan would have found out from Levitt that Bellamy was alive and on Etherea. There seems to be no time differential (or too small a differential to matter) between Etherea and Bardo - just like there seems to be none between Earth and Sanctum, since Bellamy and Doucette retained their memories going from Bardo to Etherea and back, both times without a protective helmet.

Etherea, the planet

The promo for this episode made the planet look much worse and less survivable than it really seems to be. Apart from the grey filter* that the show is using to make it look worse and kind of drab and gloomy, it seems to be a perfectly nice planet, with vegetation and an OK climate - as long as you are not trying to get off the planet through the Anomaly and climbing the extremely high mountain to reach the Anomaly Stone. It’s funny that, aside from Nakara, every other planet connected by the Anomaly has better living conditions than Bardo. The Disciples obviously use Bardo just because of the facilities they’ve found there. But Skyring is a really lovely planet - its only problem is the time differential from the other habitable planets, but that would not be a problem if a big group of people just decided to live there and start a community. Sanctum is lovely, too - well, except for red sun toxin and killer insects and meat-eating trees. (Why have the Disciples mostly ignored it? Is it because of those things, or maybe they didn’t want to mix with the Primes and other Sanctumites? Or they just didn’t see a use for it?) And Etherea is another problem where people could decide to live, if they gave up going to other planets.

*The show uses different filters to make the woods around Vancouver look like different planets:  

Sanctum - bright colors, lots of red during day, purple at night 

Skyring - blue filter (nice planet) 

Nakara - blue filter (frozen planet) 

Etherea - grey filter 

Earth - normal, except in S5 everywhere outside Eden - greyish yellow filter for a desolated post-Praimfaya Earth

But of course, Bellamy is definitely not interested in staying there and only wants to find a way off this planet, and Doucette, unlike Orlando, is neither serving a sentence he wants to see to the end nor is expecting the Disciples to send a team to retrieve him. This is another one of the “just two three four people on the planet” episodes, but this stay is just a few months rather than years, and spent in much harsher and most exhausting conditions during most of that time - because Bellamy never stops trying to get off the planet. There are parallels and strong contrasts to every one of those other situations:

Eden -  The first few months of Clarke’s experience surviving on the desolated Earth parallel Bellamy’s months on the mountain - surviving in tough conditions (extreme heat in Clarke’s case vs extreme cold in Bellamy’s), physically and mentally exhausted to the point of breaking. There are even visually parallel shots of both of them walking with a stick or eating bugs. But the big differences are: after trying and failing to get in the bunker and after the Temple collapsed, Clarke had no way of getting off the planet or out of her current situation and reuniting with any of her loved ones. She could only survive and wait. She was all alone and only talking to Bellamy, who wasn’t there, to keep herself sane. Bellamy, OTOH, was actively trying to get off the planet and reach his loved ones all that time, and he had a companion - another adult with strong beliefs, who he talked to and who did his best to indoctrinate him. After those first few months, Clarke found Eden and met Madi, and the rest of her (mostly off-screen) life on Earth during the next 6 years was much more similar to Octavia’s life with Diyoza and Hope on Skyring. 

The Garden - Unlike Bellamy, Octavia lived in a beautiful place and with someone who was already her friend and a child she came to look after, finding family she loved (rather than faith and abstract “love for all mankind”). Like Bellamy, Octavia kept trying to get off the planet and reach her sibling and her friends, which was equally difficult for a different reason, as the Anomaly entrance was deep under water (unlike Bellamy, she wouldn’t have actually able to leave the planet as she didn’t have a Conductor or codes for the Stone - but she didn’t know she needed them) - for 6 years, before she eventually gave up and settled for her peaceful life for the next 4 years and sending Bellamy a letter.

Hesperides - Like Bellamy, Echo, Gabriel and Hope wanted to get off the planet and reach their friends/family, but unlike Bellamy, they couldn’t get the codes and had to wait for 5 years, and, unlike him, they lived in lovely place. Like Bellamy, they had a devout Disciple as a companion,  but there were three of them, which made it more difficult for him to indoctrinate them, no matter how much he wanted to make them Disciples, and they were the ones trying to manipulate him. They developed a friendship with him, as Bellamy did with Doucette, but while Bellamy saved Doucette when he didn’t have to anymore, Echo betrayed him and left him as expendable, and the other two eventually went along with it.

But Etherea is not just another planet for the Disciples - it is notable for what can be found in a cave on the way to the top of the mountain, which Cadogan apparently looked for and found, as a part of his pilgrimage - his own “40 days in a desert” - because, of course, he sees himself as a messiah (and, as we saw in 7x09, this is an important thing in the Bardo religion and something children are taught about in school). 

Bellamy immediately learns all about Cadogan’s teachings - everything the rest of the characters took several episodes to learn about - by reading his book (”pocket propaganda from another false god”) and immediately pokes holes in it. He makes all the good points and lists most of the reasons why the Disciple faith makes no sense, including the fact that it makes no sense to be fighting for peace and end of violence by waging another war. Everything he says in the first half of the episode are things I would completely agree with. Which makes it all the more frustrating when he starts ignoring his own reasonable arguments by the end of this episode. One might say that the Disciple propaganda attacks both his heart - using his desire to find peace, an end to all the struggle and pain, and eventually, his love and memory of his mother, to ignore what his head is telling him - but they also eventually attack his head, by presenting what seems like actual physical evidence, and the end result is to ignore not just the rational objections he had, but also try to suppress his love for the most important individual people in his life.

He lists the people he loves - “Octavia, Echo, Clarke” - which is the first time Bellamy himself has used the word love for the latter two (and in fact, for anyone other than Octavia). BTW, notice that no one in the show has ever used the word “girlfriend/boyfriend” except Diyoza (when this was what she assumed Clarke was to Bellamy)? Maybe these words have fallen out of use in the post-apocalypse societies. The main characters usually talk about their “friends” or “family” (the latter not always being biological). Doucette later talks of "your family, your friends” and “your obsession with your sister and your friends” - where Echo and Clarke are both lumped into this category. Echo is not singled out as “your girlfriend” or in any other way.

Here’s the thing about Bellamy’s and Doucette’s dynamic: if this story wasn’t really about indoctrinating Bellamy, there really wouldn’t be anything there we didn’t know about Bellamy before. Of course he wouldn’t kill this random Disciple guy if he didn’t have to - and, in spite of what he tells Doucette at the start, it’s not just because he needed him to survive. Bellamy learning to see the humanity of his enemies and working with them and bonding with them is something we have seen many times: at first with Clarke, then with Lincoln, Indra, the Grounders, Kane, Echo. All the way back in season 2, he valued human lives, even from the enemy side: he opposed Murphy’s idea of killing the captive Grounder thief (while Finn summarily killed him), he angrily said he’d kill everyone in Mount Weather but then tried his best for that not to happen, after seeing the children there; even during his Pike-supporting days, he tried to persuade Pike and the others to spare the wounded Grounder warriors, in season 4 he talked Riley down from trying to assassinate Roan, and in season 5, he refused to kill the cryo frozen Eligius prisoners, and later convinced Madi to spare the Eligius convicts who were their PoW. And while Bellamy has been motivated, most of all, by personal love (particularly for his sister and Clarke), we’ve seen him save many people, including strangers or near strangers. That speech Doucette gave him about “loving all mankind” is something season 1 Bellamy needed to hear, the one who was focused just on Octavia and then just on her and the Delinquents, but Bellamy has had a massive character development since. Bellamy knows more about loving all mankind than Doucette or any of the Disciples do. Doucette says he “loves all mankind” including a total stranger - well, dude, didn’t you try to kill Bellamy at first? And the rest of what we’ve seen from Disciples is much worse. They talked the talk, but don’t walk the walk, unless they think kidnapping and torturing people and trying to break their spirit is “love”, And Anders definitely showed that he did not “love all the mankind” when he ordered a hit on Hope, or when he gave that speech in 7x10 about what disgusting “wild beats” all these non-Disciples were.

But unlike Anders, Doucette can talk in a convincing way and make decent arguments in favor of his faith to non-believers, rather than just preaching to the converted - or at least, he can appear to give decent arguments. He’s taking a page from The 100 fandom with the argument that Bellamy is so selfish and egotistical for... loving his sister and his friends and constantly fighting and sacrificing himself for them. (The 100 fandom loves making that same argument about Clarke.) Quite a skill, to make such BS argument sound convincing. He basically gives Bellamy a version of the “Love is weakness” advice - in this case, that “love is selfish” and leads to destruction and pain. And when Bellamy asks the rhetorical question, if that means that you shouldn’t love anyone -  Doucette turns it around and talks of love for all mankind. But that “love” he speaks of is abstract and fake - it is impossible to love everyone. You cannot love total strangers, or people you simply don’t like - certainly not the same as you love your lover or friend or family member. You can, however, be compassionate, and value human lives,.Which is, in fact, something the Disciples don’t do, as we’ve seen on Bardo (but Bellamy has not seen it yet) - they just value lives as more soldiers for the cause. Their “humanity” is abstract - they are ready to sacrifice individuals for it (everyone except the Shepherd). Bellamy, on the other hand, has always been about valuing individual lives and saving them - be it Mel on season 2, or the slaves in season  - and he managed to do it while also loving his sister and his friends. The Disciples and Doucette’s arguments present a false dichotomy. But, unfortunately, Bellamy still has deep guilt and self-loathing that he never fully resolved (even in season 6, he still talked about his many sins in 6x04), and he’s tired by always having to fight another war for survival, just to followed by another. (Which is similar to Clarke’s misgivings in 7x03: “I’m afraid that fighting is not what we do, it’s what we are” and Raven’s and Clarke’s conversation about guilt over having killed so many people.) The only time he didn’t have to always worry and/or fight were the years on the Ring, but he was still grieving Clarke and missing Octavia and motivated by going back down to reunite with her  He knows what he’s capable of doing out of love - and he also has unresolved issues with the women he loves. In season 4, he lamented how pathetic he was coming back to his sister when she kept treating him badly, and in the 7x07 Ring flashback, he thought his love for his sister was his “weakness”. He’s certainly been hurt by her, finally rejected her and then later got to reunite with her, get an apology and forgive and make up with her. He and Clarke have also certainly hurt each other and forgiven each other, and that relationship is still unresolved. Bellamy himself admitted to Jo!Clarke in 6x09 that he was exhausted by their ups and downs and lack of resolution. And Echo... well, he should know exactly where he stands with her, but he didn’t seem happy about their relationship and seemed to want her to be Clarke someone else.

I can see why Bellamy started to envy Doucette his emotional calm that his faith and worldview seemed to bring him.

We got another Pike mention in this ep (and again, it was a reference to his positive role - as a teacher of Earth skills). The last time Bellamy made it was in 6x07 when he found out Clarke was alive. Pike was also a father figure to Bellamy - just like Kane, and now Cadogan. Bellamy has been called both a King and a Knight. Some of his biggest mistakes were when he chose to trust in a leader/father figure (the last time, it was Pike - who was, however, very different from Cadogan and his views on the opposite side the spectrum from Bill’s), and ALIE!Raven thought that one of the ways she could try to taunt him and erode his confidence was to call him a follower rather than a leader. Only she tried to convince him that he was in subjugated position to Clarke - which IMO was never true. They have always had an equal relationship (except when external circumstances made it otherwise - see, Kane and the adults taking the power away from Bellamy, while Clarke was able to take it back from Abby mostly because she was backed up by the Grounder Commander), and Clarke was the one who always tried to boost Bellamy’s confidence in his abilities as a leader. He was definitely a leader of his people in season 5 and season 6, and he works best as co-leader with Clarke (and vice versa). But even when Bellamy supported Clarke, he was questioning his decisions, even though he was rarely able to change Pike’s mind - he wasn’t blindly obeying and accepting everything, as he would have to with the Disciples.

Another factor in Bellamy’s transformation is of course the fact that he spent months in the cave - to the point of physical and mental exhaustion. Every time he and Doucette would climb the mountain, the peak where the Stone was would turn out to be even higher. Bellamy himself used two of the Greek myths to describe the task - Sisyphus and Icarus. A pointless task that results in having to do everything all over again (just like what he said about having to always fight another war), and a dangerous task likely to destroy you.

Bellamy was still insisting on reason over faith - “I believe in what I can prove” - but then he got to see the beings of light, as “proof”..

And here we come to the more interesting part of this ep and something that the show may or may not explain. I’m pretty skeptical about Cadogan’s views of what these beings are. How do we know that they have really “transcended” and become eternal or whatever, living on some kind of higher plane? No one has communicated with them, or have they? They are aliens, from our POV. Maybe that’s their natural state?  Maybe they’re dead and this is just what remains of them? Maybe they died in a similar catastrophe as the Bardoans but one that was more about fire than ice, as Selina hypothesized in her review)? Maybe they are in agony?  Sure, they look beautiful to human eyes, and fit the human culture’s idea of what spirituality and transcendence is like - but you can’t know that for sure. The frozen crystal giants on Bardo also look beautiful, after all, and that entire species died horribly

And then the second “otherworldly” thing happens after Bellamy finally agreed to prey - and he has a vision, involving Cadogan as his spiritual guide, leading him from a place full of weapons - swords and guns - to the place where he sees his dead mother, Aurora. It’s a beautiful and emotional scene, and I can’t imagine all the things Bellamy is feeling as she touches his face - including, probably, more unresolved guilt - over getting his mother executed (because he loved his sister and tried to make her happy). Aurora tells him Go to the light, Bellamy” and he looks at the figures of light -  but we don’t learn what, if anything, he saw there .

I hope we learn that Bellamy saw something important - maybe something connected to the Judgment Day Becca talked about - that would explain the extent of his conversion, although it seems that it is mostly supposed to be a consequence of the fact that the storm stopped at the moment when he chose to prey. 

The final step in his ‘spiritual journey’ is after that, when he barely managed to reach the top. After repeating the mantra “I am not afraid” (something else from the Blakes’ childhood - the same line Octavia was repeating on Bardo to resist the Conductors), he admits to himself “I am afraid”. In retrospect, a sign that he was broken, and started feeling that his past and his family were not enough to give him strength and faith. The jump from the top was described as a “leap of faith” by Doucette - which is kind of ridiculous, since it had nothing to do with faith, just with the fact that Cadogan was there and knew how the Anomaly worked, and the fact he was able to climb the mountain and leave is proof that the Anomaly worked properly. 

(I wonder why the heck the Anomaly works so differently on different planets - in some cases you can enter the Anomaly right next to the Stone when you’re leaving the planet, and in others, you have to go back to the original entrance that’s somewhere else.)

Now, the visions may be explained in several different ways:

hallucinations - earlier, Bellamy found a family photo and recognized Cadogan, and he would know how Conductors and high ranking Disciples dress, he’s seen the white robe on Anders and Doucette

everything in the cave is real, and Cadogan has some sort of a telepathic connection to the cave (the true believer’s interpretation)

the brain implant/hive mind theory (by Selina again - I don’t believe in this one as there has been no evidence of it so far)

projections/hologram - see Jean’s theory that Cadogan used the hologram technology to project images of himself and Aurora (whose image is familiar to the Disciples from Octavia’s memories)

a combination of some of the above - the beings of light may be real, and Cadogan may have stumbled onto something but has again misinterpreted what it was all about; Bellamy’s vision of Cadogan was a hallucination or projection, but he also did see something real when his mother (again, possible hallucination or unexplained spiritual phenomenon) told him to look into the light.

It’s possible that the show will never fully explain what really happened here, just as Murphy’s vision of hell has never been explained.

The reunion

Up until this point, the episode doesn’t seem to show a seriously disturbing turn in Bellamy: we saw that he was starting to take the Disciples’ faith seriously and even to believe in it, and the first thing he does when turning up in the Stone Room on Bardo is look happy and relieved he made it, and hug an equally happy Doucette. So, he made a friend among the Disciples and will be the one telling Clarke and the rest: “We should take this seriously, they have a point, here is what I saw on Etherea...” - right? That would make perfect sense while not fundamentally changing who Bellamy is.

But no! Bellamy falls to his knees and calls Cadogan “My Shepherd” - which was one of the most painful scenes for me to see in all of the show, even more so than the later scene where he snitches on Clarke. There’s been a lot this season about “kings” forcing subjects to kneel - but instead of the “kneel or die” approach that Anders more or less used (while Sheidheda is using it in the most literal way possible), this is out of genuine belief. I  don’t know if I’m really buying this massive transformation that we see here and in the next scene. It’s just a bit too much. Maybe information about what it was that Belalmy saw when he went ‘into the light’ would help explain it better.

Cadogan is happy to use Bellamy to convince Clarke to cooperate, and informs him: “Your friends are here, they have gotten themselves in some trouble”. Maybe this adds up to the reason why Bellamy is uncomfortable when he sees them a bit later, because they’ve been bad - but only some of them were (Echo with her murders, torture and genocide attempt, the others - not really, except Hope, someone he doesn’t even know yet). But when he comes to see them, he looks broken, exhausted and numb after all his experiences. And probably wary of giving in to the “selfish love”. (His friendship with Doucette is presumably in line with his new faith, but he seems to think his friendship with Clarke is not? Is that his relationship with Clarke actually involves love, real love for an individual?) After finally reuniting with the people he had been trying to reach all that time on Etherea, he doesn’t even look happy to see them. To quote Bellamy from earlier in the episode,Sometimes, Bellamy Blake, irony is funny. This is not one of these times.

Meanwhile, his friends are in Cadogan’s living quarters in house arrest. Conveniently, it’s just Clarke, Echo and Octavia there - plus Gabriel, but the focus is on Bellamy’s reunions with the three women he named as the people he loved earlier in the episode. Raven is not there, neither are Miller, Jordan, Niylah or Hope. (The last time Bellamy saw Jordan, Jordan was the brainwashed one. Hey, what happened to that storyline? Did it end up as a casualty of the rewrites?)

They’re discussing what to do, and Clarke has decided to basically sacrifice her life so the others could escape. We know that Clarke is a very selfless person, but  the way she’s been increasingly casually deciding to sacrifice herself feels a bit disturbing - as if she’s stopped caring about her own life or hoping for happiness. At this point, her big character development would be to choose happiness and try to have what she wants. Even her “selfish” actions up to this point were mostly about trying to protect others. We haven’t even seen her show much emotion this season - as if she was on autopilot - except for her early grieving Abby earlier in the season, and moments when she’s silently grieving Bellamy, 

Cadogan is there to offer the carrot rather than the stick, and being a drama queen, doesn’t Clarke and the others that Bellamy is there, but lets him in. They are massively surprised but don’t notice something’s off, or rather, they seem to assume he is just physically exhausted and in pain rather than mentally/emotionally off, as he silently looks at Clarke and Octavia and then Echo. Camera shows close-ups of the reactions of the people who love him: Clarke’s, Echo’s and Octavia’s reactions before going back to Clarke. (Probably because she’s the main character, in case people have forgotten, and her relationship with Bellamy is at center of the show), Octavia is happy and proud tries to hug her brother, but the Disciples pull out weapons. Clarke ignores the weapons, counting on her status/leverage, and hugs him. 

She looks lovingly at him, with something we haven’t seen from her in a long time - happiness, that’s definitely not “best friend that I’m not attracted to” but “best friend I have naughty thoughts about”. (Only love can make you hug someone who must be smelling really badly at this point, considering Bellamy hasn’t washed or changed his clothes in over 3 months!)

This hug is different from any other Bellarke hug ever, since Bellamy is so numb, even when he hugs her back, but she is too happy to see him back to notice.  And then when she takes the chance to also get him up to speed and tell him about the Flame - he gets an incredibly sad look on his face. He is not unemotional now - but he has decided he must ignore and suppress those feelings, betray her trust and tell Cadogan the truth, because his faith and the so-called “love for all mankind” comes first.

Everyone is shocked when he calls Cadogan “My Shepherd” and then beyond shocked when he betrays them - and camera again shows Echo’s, Octavia’s and Clarke’s reactions, going back to Cadogan, and then the episode ends on a close-up of Clarke’s shocked face. Because, you know, she’s still the main character. And finally, now we can hopefully have a S7 storyline that properly focuses on the show’s protagonist and utilizes Eliza’s talent allowing her to show a range of emotions. When Clarke believed Bellamy was dead, he was someone she could hold in her memory and try to honor it by saving his sister and girlfriend - but this is a whole new way of losing him, right after thinking she got him back, and means real emotional turmoil.

Bellamy has become a true believer and decided to stop being himself. And the people who love him will now have to deal with his loss - in another way - all over again, and try to save him. I’m torn because this storyline offers huge opportunities for a “power of love” storyline right out of a fanfic, but I’m uncomfortable with the idea that it may come at the expense of having Bellamy be manipulated and subjugated to a white megalomaniac villain in the last season. But I hope and expect we will see genuine character development and re-affirmation of who Bellamy Blake is. Now, there are a lot of things Bellamy doesn’t know yet and that have contributed to him drinking Cadogan’s Kool-Aid (he hasn’t seen Cadogan’s dealings with his family or Second Dawn, or what he did to Becca, or Anders’ actions on Bardo, or the way the Disciples mistreat their own people, and he doesn’t know about Cadogan’s mistranslation of the Bardoan text), but I don’t think the resolution of this storyline will be about Cadogan or what Bellamy knows about his religion. I think it will be Bellamy himself and his relationships. Clarke and Octavia had big character arcs in season 5-6 where they had to deal with who they are, who they’ve become and what they want to be negating everything he is. He needs to finally really deal with his self-loathing and guilt and he needs to gain back trust in himself, the Bellamy Blake that others loved and trusted and relied on. He needs to feel loved and decide that love is strength and a positive rather than just ‘selfish’ force. (And who can show him that? Hint: not his girlfriend Echo, whose love he would definitely see as confirmation that love is selfish and destructive, as it makes a person do things like murder, torture and attempted genocide out of revenge. Another hint: probably the same person who gave him confidence and made him believe in himself and grow as a person, multiple times, all the way back in season 1 and again in season 3 and season 4, telling him he was a person that other follow because of his big heart and the way he can inspire people. And third hint - the same person Bellamy was saving - her physical self - in season 6, will be the one who’ll have to save him, mentally, save who he is., in season 7.)

Rating: 8/10 (could go higher or lower depending on how the cave visions are explained and what the outcome of this plot is)

[float-me-now]

Next time I’ll log in to this site The100 will be over for good, and it feels incredibly WEIRD.

I came across the show for a coincidence in late 2018 and started watching in 2019.

From the moment I saw it, when I set my eyes on Octavia and Bellamy in Fog of War, I knew that it was everything I wanted from a show. Survival, radiation-soaked planets, difficult decisions, morals, beautiful sceneries, fight-or-die situations, a good share of gore, no random sex scenes, good relationships, action.

I loved the costumes, all those ragged jackets and uniforms full of nets and patches and metal scraps, Trigedasleng (a new effing language), plots that were linked together, women in power, warriors, parallels, good acting, a seemingly nice cast. There were so many beautiful songs that made me discover great artists. One of those songs, Thousand Eyes by OMAM (playing during that scene in Hakeldama when Raven takes the CoL chip), was the thing that actually gave me the last push into watching this show.

And last but not least the thing that made me stay: the characters. Murphy, Raven, Octavia, Bellamy, Roan, Echo, Diyoza, McCreary, Indra, Kane, Monty, Jasper just to name my favourites.

This show really was an escape to me, gave me huge inspiration for my art and it made me want to improve even more and take up challenges to draw what I wanted to represent. It also made me open this blog (something I would have never thought I would do) and it made me want to learn how to edit pictures and videos.

I can’t say I’ll miss this season because hell to the no, I would be lying. I’m this 🤏 close to being glad that it’s over, actually. Nor will I miss the fandom/cast drama, or seasons 6/7′s writing, that much I know for sure. However, I will always cherish the unruined characters and stories we had from season 1 to season 5, and I will surely rewatch those.

I think I’ll fully feel like it’s over when I’ll see the final credits roll, as I stare at the screen with pretty much this expression on my face

I won’t say “may we meet again” because I don’t think I’ll ever really leave this show, these characters and this fandom. I’ll stay around reblogging stuff, up for asks, ranting (of course) and maybe sharing some edits. So, see you tomorrow!

[sometimesrosy]

Did you ever see the B/E relationship coming, or did you find it a big surprise? I know we can only speculate, but in your opinion, what has been Bellamy’s mindset about E and C since finding out Clarke was alive? What do you think his mindset is about the situation/them throughout season 6, going into season 7? I feel like he will be very focused on O since the anomaly took her, but what’s a way you think the love triangle could be resolved? Or if it will be?

I’ll be honest, I saw the B/E relationship coming from the cages. Not that it WOULD happen, but that it could. I wrote fics where she was cast in a romantic capability. When s4 happened and she went to space with spacekru leaving Clarke behind, I thought yes b/e would probably happen, but it didn’t bother me because that was one way to tell a love story an the end result would still be bellarke endgame. THAT is why I put a moratorium on b/e questions for the whole hiatus, because I wasn’t freaking out about b/e possibilities and I didn’t care to freak out about it and fandom was FREAKING OUT ABOUT IT. And it’s healthy boundaries to not take on other people’s freak outs. 

You have to start with season 5 to understand this love triangle I think. Because the 6 years apart created a new relationship for Bellarke that was based not on reality, but on memory and fantasy. Clarke created Bellamy as a fantasy boyfriend that she could talk to and kept her sane. He was a hero who could do no wrong and would always be there for her.  Bellamy created something similar, but because he thought she was dead, she was more like a ghost haunting him, he was the widower and she was the dead wife that lived in his head with him and guided his actions. He never thought he could have her again, because she was dead, while SHE thought that when he came back, he would be hers for real. They both took about all of season 5a to reconcile to the fact that the other was real, and then that their fantasy of the other had to make room for the real person. 

I’m not gonna say I know how Bellamy felt about having clarke and echo alive, but I’m gonna say, since this is how the story and scenes shook out, that he couldn’t *mentally* embrace having both echo and clarke in the same place. He couldn’t think about them TOGETHER, because that was not something he had dealt with yet. That these two women he loved were now both in his life. His old life of the ring was the real one, but suddenly Clarke was there, too, and everything changed. This is how the scenes were shot. He focused on Clarke OR Echo, and when he was with Clarke and brought up Echo or his “family,” tensions arose as Clarke and he circled around each other with their new alliances. Octavia made him face it. And then we saw with him choosing the sword over the earth, he was thinking about it. The smart thing to do was choose Echo. Then why does Clarke keep coming back into his heart? Why does he even want to choose Clarke when he’s committed to Echo? And yet he does. And he’s not able to process that when Echo is around. (which might be why she all but disappears once he gets to the ship where Clarke is.)

Season 6 is different. Clarke and Bellamy have become real to each other again. She is part of Spacekru-- although not easily. Clarke, Echo and Bellamy are all in the same shots, constantly, same scenes, Clarke watches b/e together. Echo watches Bellamy give all his attention to Clarke. Bellamy is “together” with Echo, but his primary emotional attachment seems to be Clarke. And as s6A progresses, he is more and more drawn emotionally (and physically!) to Clarke, to the point where, after an intimate conversation with Clarke about forgiveness and family, he sees her with Cillian and is JEALOUS, and then picks a fight with Echo about how she isn’t open or intimate enough and basically calls her not human. Really rotten, Bellamy. And it hurts Echo because she’s dealing with her own issues he knows nothing about... which means Bellamy is right. She isn’t open or intimate enough with him. She is getting ready to face it, finally, starting with the eclipse psychosis which correctly identified her relationship with Bellamy to be king/spy. This is a theme for Echo. This is her storyline in s6. How to face her past and identity as a spy CREATED by her relationship with the ruler, and reconcile that with her relationship with Bellamy. For Bellamy, his storyline is facing his feelings for Clarke and understanding what they mean. The season starts with B/E as an acknowledged relationship, but as Clarke and Bellamy try to rebuild their relationship as “platonic” partners, their damn feelings for each other keep getting in the way of the platonic part. When he is jealous of Cillian and takes it out on Echo, who didn’t deserve it, and Echo bares her soul (part way) to him, and he commits to moving forward with her and forgetting about the past, which clearly means Clarke, that is Bellamy making the ‘logical’ decision, the head decisions. 

But when Clarke is discovered to be bodysnatched, all his intentions of being committed to intimacy with Echo are forgotten. He doesn’t turn to her. He pays no attention to her. All his attention is on Clarke, who he feels he’s lost. He cannot reconcile losing her with moving forward. And when he finds out she is alive, HE is alive again, focused only on getting her back, canonically caring more about saving Clarke than what is happening to Jordan, Madi, Echo or spacekru. His focus is, again, on Clarke. And heading into the woods with Clarke’s body/Josephine, as she digs and digs at him about his feelings for Clarke. OMG what a romantic narrative. Your enemy in the body of your great unacknowledged love forcing you to recognize how much you love this body she has stolen and this mind she is trying to erase. AND THEN YOU SAVE HER. Bellamy has FACED how much he cares for and needs Clarke. He is SOFT for her in a way that he has been soft with Echo, only moreso. He is ROMANTIC with her. 

When Bellamy and Echo reunite in Sanctum, after not knowing whether or not he had left her for dead, their reunion is relieved and loving, but not intimate or passionate-- as Bellarke’s reunion was when she was brought back from the dead. Clarke watches them hug, and actually interrupts their hug (which she’s never done before. in s5 when she saw them hugging she stepped back and mentally let him go, but this time she interrupts “platonically.” maybe jealously idk.) Bellamy, meanwhile, looks at Clarke over Echo’s shoulder. The way he’s dealing with Echo and Clarke in the same place has changed. And when Clarke and Bellamy reunite after the battle is all over, Echo, who is right there (we see her in some of the background shots) essentially disappears from Bellamy’s attention. Echo gets a pat on the back, while Clarke and he run to each other, fall into each other’s arms, he rocks her while she nuzzles him, they have direct eye contact and talk about deep feelings of self worth and intention and then hug again while the light is buttery and romantic. *sunflare* And this ends the season. 

When we get Octavia disappearing, Echo is back. Yes. And there is no intimacy. And when Bellamy loses Octavia, Echo is not there for emotional support, she is, as usual, the spy, taking care of capturing Hope while Bellamy’s world changes.

Going into s7, we have the final season, which means we’ll have to see a conclusion to all the loose narratives. There is, of course, the saving humanity storyline, from the apocalypse and from themselves, which would be a redemption. Salvation and Redemption are offered. That’s the larger over all story. BUT that story HANGS on the backbone of the story, which is, both evident in the narrative and STATED by JR, Bellarke and their relationship to each other. There is finding Octavia (which no doubt will lead to the major plot of the anomaly/salvation/redemption) There is Raven and her self worth. Murphy and his fear of dying alone. Echo and her identity as Ash, Clarke and her needing to be the good guy and Bellamy with his...

Ah. What’s Bellamy’s main struggle? It’s about saving the person he loves. (first O, then Clarke) No wait. It’s developed. I think it’s about LIVING with the person he loves. After saving comes living. As Murphy said, “We get everything we want. We get to live.” “Not Clarke,” Bellamy responds. “Not Clarke seems to be an answer to both ‘everything we want’ and ‘we get to live.’ although, no the right way to answer that last one is ‘clarke doesn’t.’ Bellamy is CHOOSING Clarke. It’s still an active storyline, he hasn’t chosen her yet, but he is actively doing so. Also, when seen in the light of Monty’s orders to not only be the good guys, but to live a good life as happy as he was, Bellamy’s Book 2 goal is the heart part of Monty’s statement. Live a life that is happy. He needs Clarke for that.

When I take these narrative threads, the knowledge that Bellarke is the center of the story, the understanding that their relationship MUST be resolved in order to offer a satisfying conclusion, and then I consider all the related character arcs, the only way it can fall out is like this: Clarke (who is in love with Bellamy) saves humanity and is willing to sacrifice her happiness to do it. Bellamy (who has accepted that he loves Clarke) saves Clarke and won’t let her sacrifice her happiness.  Screw that. He won’t let her leave him again. 

They’ll redeem humanity by being the good guys (Clarke’s goal) do it together (because unity is the only way it gets done, also head and heart have to be together,) and they will live the rest of their lives from a place of love (Bellamy’s goal.) Raven and Murphy I’m not 100% sure on, but Echo needs to face Ash, to BE Ash, and that means she has to reject the king/spy dynamic and therefore NOT be with Bellamy. It’s not about Clarke at all, it’s about her. Which means that Bellamy will be able to stop sacrificing his love for his commitment to be the good guy with Echo. And Clarke and Bellamy will be the winning angle of the love triangle. 

HOW? IDK. Yes. They’ll deal with missing Octavia, but he’s let her go. She doesn’t run his life anymore. And besides, Clarke has ALWAYS been the person who understands the blakes the best. He will go to her for help on that, emotionally, even if Echo is the lieutenant in battle. Also, my guess is they’ll get O back either in 7a, or in the first few eps of s7. The real battle is going to be what happens after. 

The love triangle will DEFINITELY be resolved. This story REQUIRES Clarke and Bellamy to be together. It’s their “thing.” But also the head and the heart is part of a system that doesn’t work without each other. During their time apart, they each found a way to carry the other with them, Clarke with her fantasies and Bellamy with his internalizing her voice. But now they get to BE together, and choose each other, and work and live and love TOGETHER. 

After hakeldama, I realized that this story HAD to have them getting together. And they held off on the romantic togetherness for most of the show, but as we get closer to the end, s5 and s6 have brought the romantic nature of Bellarke out of hiding. So yes. The culmination of the Bellarke story will, finally, be romantic. Not just together “platonically” but as true loves. In all the ways.

[girlobsessed21]

My thoughts on The 100 7x05

Hey, guys,

Sorry for not doing any comments on the last two episodes. I’ve been a little busy and I struggled to connect to the show, so it hindered my enjoyment, but it’s all better now. Liked episode 4 and 5 was even better, jampacked with info and it answered a lot of questions.

Welcome to Bardo

Badass Octavia is da bomb (people don’t say that anymore, right?). When she was captured in episode two, I thought she had lost her fighting spirit, but it’s back, bitches. Well, until she runs into an invisible wall trying to escape. She’s captured and transported to M-cap (whatever that means). Then we get a welcome little flashback to Lincoln but it’s obvious that Bellamy would be the hand reaching out. He’s her rock, like she’s expressed many times.

Unlike John Murphy who is not quite a friend, or family and definitely not a lover. Introducing so many new characters in the final season of a show is never a good idea, because this is the time to wrap up all the stories of the existing ones, but come on, who cannot love Levitt. Even when he first meets Octavia, he doesn’t want to hurt her. Jason, you better not harm one hair on this precious little puppy’s head!

As he binges The 100 through Octavia’s eyes, he starts rooting for her, and he actually gives a damn, unlike most people on this show. He understands her strengths and weaknesses and he makes her see it too. “You’re a warrior to be sure, but your heart is pure.” Wow, what an honest and beautiful line. (Scroll down for my shipping comments.)

So is O and Hope’s fleeting little reunion. It’s amazing to experience this deep loving side of Octavia after her darkness. She’s truly one of the most diverse and developed characters on the series. Now Hope and her resilience is quickly making it to the top as well.

While Hope is trying to send her back home, we learn that memory loss is due to the time dilation. One quick note on this, it’s not linear, there’s no easy equation to calculate it unless you’re Stephen Hawking or Einstein. I don’t think it’s constant either. 10 years on Skyring = 11 days on Bardo = a few minutes on Sanctum. In the current time, 5 years on Skyring = 1 day on Sanctum = 7 days on Bardo. So, it’s clear that the planets are moving, and other factors are playing into the phenomenon. It’s more important to understand the time relative to each planet.

Levitt was the one who tattooed Hope’s code onto O’s back, also the one who planted the note into Hope’s arm. Indeed the kind of man you want on the inside, he even accepts a blow to the face as thank you.

Sheep-ish?

Thirty minutes on the clock and the trio gets led to a congregation to praise the shepherd. I never thought it was Anders, I do, however think it might be Cadogan. The Bordoan’s built the underground forest because they destroyed their planet. Ugh, what’s new? The shepherd herded his sheep from earth to Bardo via the stone. Cadogan and his second dawn cult?

Back to Clarke. So, after last episode I thought ‘the key to winning the last war’ line was an artifice for luring Clarke to disciples, but now it’s clearly true. They’ve located the key and they will win the last war. Levitt was interested in Clarke surviving the City of Light with the flame in her head, they probably assume she still has it. Cadogan burned Becca alive. Could it be because of the flame? Is this all because of that damn little chip that can’t seem to die?

Bellamy is not dead, I repeat, Bellamy is not dead! I believe that memory could be staged or implanted for a reason. Also, there’s no body, he jumped through the bridge. In the promo photos, he wears a ring but his actions towards Octavia seem a little cold and generic. On first watch, I thought it was bad acting but if he was programmed to do this, it makes sense.

Note the sequence of events. Octavia returned 7 days ago and was asked to talk her brother down, but we don’t see the actual scene. Instead we’re shown a memory. They could have implanted it to make her vulnerable and perhaps more susceptible to the procedure. I don’t know, but this theory could lead to Robot-sheep!Bellamy on Nakara, where he’ll encounter Clarke and the gang.

I have to be honest, I really don’t like this character arc for Bellamy. It’s unoriginal and a mime of Peeta’s storyline in Mockingjay. Sorry, but so far it feels like the writers were so over the show, they just wanted to get it done. And that attitude really bleeds into one’s creative concepts. I could be completely wrong, in fact, I hope I am.

Echo spins a Finn

My word, I lost the love of my life once, but I sure didn’t kill anyone. When Echo received that vision of Roan, I was hoping for some progression on her individual arc, they’ve made me care about her, and now we get the opposite. Why? One thing I have to admit, a killer performance from Tasya Teles! No pun intended.

Look, this show hasn’t explored Bellamy and Echo’s relationship enough to make her murder believable. It was the exact same thing with Finn. I wasn’t invested in Finn and Clarke’s connection, so his actions of killing a grounder tribe was more repulsive than understandable. Sure, Echo loves Bellamy and her sole purpose is to save him, but I’ve never truly witnessed their love for each other. They had one or two intimate scenes which cannot compel a deed like this. And in the process, she screwed Hope and Diyoza.

Anyway, I don’t think there’s any coming back from it. She murdered an innocent person in cold blood. That’s sure to open a door to the dark side.  Just look at Octavia after killing Pike and her actions were justified by jus drein jus daun.

Say Sanctum three times slowly and it sounds like… Sanctum

Blind faith

Look, I’m just gonna come out and say this song is getting old. Every episode featuring Sanctum is the exact same thing with different lines. Can we please move on from it, already? Yes, we know the COG want Russel dead, and the adjusters will go to extreme lengths to free Russel and the prisoners are background noise.

I did appreciate Nelson stepping in to try and save the girl, though. Still doesn’t save the fact that it’s repetitive. The Sanctum plotline is really struggling to take shape and I hope it happens soon. Dramatic eyeroll.

At least in the drought of a desert, you can always count on Murphy. “…I say we live and let die.” Typical cockroach line, right, but it’s ironic when he’s the one to step up, even if it is for Emori. Under the magnifying glass it’s the exact same plot as episode 1 and 3. He hesitates to take action, and eventually becomes the hero.

I mean, he saved that poor kid from being burned alive. Can you imagine sacrificing your own child in such a horrific away? Cults are beyond whacked, and, unfortunately, it’s reality that cult members are so blinded by their faith that they do not see rhyme or reason.

How did Murphy fail that test? I didn’t. When Trey named the four pillars, I thought, isn’t rejoice one of them? Surely, a cockroach would have smelled that trap a mile away.

Indra the great

Can we just give a massive round of applause to Adina Porter!!! That powerhouse walk vibrates strength and majesty, damn, she should be a false god, I wouldn’t dare threaten her with or without an army.

Three little words was all it took for her to recognize evil. “There’s a spider on your shoulder.” Smooth. Too bad she can’t kill him. Why not, how many of the faithful are left to cause an uproar? Wonkru doesn’t know it’s Sheidheda, they won’t care, the COG will fall in line and the prisoners will be happy as long as they get their compound. Sorry, I don’t get it and I don’t understand why she doesn’t tell anyone.  Someone please explain?

Granted, JR Bourne as Russel is way better, but I still don’t understand his actions. I hope they explore and explain him more, because he still feels flat unless he knows something of this final war. I’m hoping these two storylines align soon since it’s really driving a wedge between me and my love for the show.

Shipwreck

I’ll start with the easy stuff, Murphy, Emori and the perfect dress gets a heart eye emoji from me. They are so damn cute this season, can they please live happily ever after in the palace?

Octabriel vs Levittavia

Now, I enjoy Levitt fangirling over Octavia. I feel like he has a deep sense of her through her memories. If I have to root for an underdeveloped relationship, it will have to be one where the characters share thoughts and experiences even if it is through a sick, sci-fi procedure.

On the other hand, Gabriel and Octavia have immense chemistry, two seconds of them together bends my mouth into an “Aah, cute” pout. This will also add some approval and representation for mixed racial relationships.

I really don’t mind either way as long as they make me care through showing and not telling.

Bellarke

So, if my theory is correct, and Bellamy does end up on Nakara, Bellarke will encounter each other quite soon. Bellamy won’t be himself though, but he might pretend to be Bellamy to win Clarke’s co-operation. Is there hope for Bellarke yet?

Echo is now trotting a dangerous path and Bellamy might be pledged to a cause, so I doubt there will be a happy ending for Becho. Since 7x01 I’ve been thinking that the writers might want to develop something between Clarke and Gaia but if they are separated, is there enough time? Guess we’ll see.

This monster of a review is finally done… If you read through everything, you deserve a gold star! Let me know what you think, till we meet again…

[irisouy]

Thoughts on the 100 7x07

I have not been on Tumblr much this week as I had important real life stuff going on, but I of course watched 7x07 and I have some thoughts about it and about the season so far that I want to share in no particular order:

 First of all, congrats to Linsey Morgan's directorial debut: she did a great job, especially with all the scenes between the unification ceremony and the chest board, loved it! also the scene with the reveal of Cadogan in his “sarcophagus”.

I am starting to believe that the theory that Emori is pregnant is true as there were several references of her "glowing". However if this is true, I feel that Murphy is going to die, and preferably sacrificing himself for Emori. This would make sense with his character's development: from a cockroach who only cares about survival to a hero… I'm worried about him.

The B.echo scene was not about b.echo; it was about Echo. I know people are saying that we should have had that scene back in season 5 to be able to connect with b.echo…I disagree, because it seems that the writers never had the intention for the audience to connect to b.echo. What was important in this flashback was not the kiss, it was the conversation previous to that: the fact that Echo's loyalty leads her to do things that are wrong. We are still exploring her identity crisis, we are not really exploring her relationship with Bellamy. Bellamy is part of her story, but the flashback was not made to inform us about how sweet (or not, depending on your POV) they are as a couple.

Who was surprised that the shepherd was Bill Cadogan? Because I wasn't, just like the reveal of the second dawn was not a surprise after all the clues they have been dropping since the beginning of the season. However I wonder why is Bill in cryosleep waiting for the "key". Of course it has to do with Becca and ALIE; but what is really the key? Someone who has ingested the ALIE ship+ has the flame? So it would seem that when Clarke went to the City of light, the disciples somehow got a signal from ALIE? Many questions, and I'm very excited about all this storyline.

I've seen people being disappointed about Clarke's reaction to Bellamy's "death" (we all know he's not)… I honestly don't get why; I thought her reaction was very appropriate. She was completely stunned. Not everybody reacts the same way towards grief: I myself get into shock and I can't react right away… it's like there is a disconnect in my brain to process the information… of course after, I ball my eyes out, but it is not instant. As for Clarke, she did not even cry about her mom's death until she cracked and burned the castle: she bottles up her emotions. So this reaction was very Clark-ish and actually Eliza did a brilliant job showcasing the hurt in Clarke's eyes. I thought it was brilliant… also the fact that all the characters looked at her speaks volumes. And don't mind what JR might have said or not said; it's irrelevant.

I didn't like the interaction between Octavia and Echo: I like the fact that we get to see Octavia's growth, it's great. I also like the acting from both of them. However the "you are my family" felt contrived and un-organic. And I am not an Echo hater at all, it's just that I am missing more interactions between them to get to the point were Octavia can tell her she's family without cringing about it. On the other hand Charmaine's and Hope's interactions were beautifully executed and felt real and natural.

I really liked the interactions between Sheiheda and Murphy: it's a great pairing. JR Bourne is a fabulous actor. However, I have trouble getting invested in the Sanctum storyline.

 All in all, I am still frustrated about this season: it is not a bad season but the pacing feels weird. And I am really missing having Clarke and Bellamy as the main characters. I do get why they are not on screen, and I understand that both Bob and Eliza needed time to recover from their personal tragedy and I am happy that they were allowed to. However from an audience perspective their absence is really felt on the show and it doesn't really feel like "The 100" without them. I am still enjoying the season very much, but there is something missing, and I know what it is. I also know that we will definitely get back on track with having both characters as the main ones later on in the season, it's just that waiting for them is getting long and frustrating. I just miss them.

 That's all folks! My two cents about the episode and season so far.

[eclectic-aussie]

Random Thoughts #15

Well damn, that was a heavy episode. I kind of regret stumbling on tumblr before watching the episode because the ending was spoiled but at the same time it gave me time to brace myself for it, though my hearts still sore at the betrayal even if Bellamy thinks it’s like chipping Madi: done for the greater good.

But after seeing the promo for next week I’m also regretting not waiting until all the episodes aired so I could binge watch them BECAUSE GOD DAMN IT, I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT AND I WANT TO KNOW NOW!! Which is only the second time I’ve really felt that way all season, the first after last weeks episode when Clarke came back.

I can’t help but wonder at a few possibilities that might come up; the Conductor accused Bellamy of selfish obsessive love (though honestly I’d say that’s more his girlfriend than him, but not the point) and Bellamy past insecurities and self doubt/loathing makes him blind to the good he’s done (he convinced Madi to spare the prisoners and bring them with them on the Eligius, put the Flame in Madi to try and make a peace treaty with the Eligius which became moot after Murphy accidentally on purpose put McCreary in charge just to name 2)

But what I think may come up is that while the Conductor decided Bellamy’s love is selfish, they’re going to be probing Clarke’s mind against her will (there’s a word for that, and I can’t help but think that’s going to come up later when Bellamy becomes himself again) and they’re going to realise that Clarke loves selflessly to the point where she will sacrifice her life over and over again for others she barely knows. She has taken on the pain and loss, breaking herself over and over again to protect her people. Even Roan mentioned it in season 4 when he and Bellamy were taking the Hydrozene to Raven at Becca’s lab when Bellamy scoffed at Roan for only caring about his people and Roan pointed out that Bellamy was no different and everyone was looking out for themselves (PAUSE) except maybe Clarke.

Some predictions and questions I have after this week’s episode, and seeing the promos, for the fun of it and I want to get them out:

1.Becho will break-up. It’s something I’ve said since last season, but remember a week ago when Echo was going to genocide Bardo in Bellamy’s name? Remember in the promo Echo telling Bellamy he’s ‘lost himself?’ And how Bellamy is now a member of the cult that Echo tried to massacre? You really don’t think Cadogan’s going to give the body count to Bellamy when he asks why they’re locked up? I think we’ll get a scene where Bellamy ends their relationship with Echo maybe even telling her that it took the almost genocide to realise that he had wanted so badly that who she was on the Ring was who she really was, but her actions on Bardo showed she hadn’t really changed and that she still chose to make the same mistakes as before Praimfaya but now for Spacekru instead of Azgeda. Probably ending with Raven telling Echo that it was just the brainwashing and they’ll be back together when he’s better and other things of that nature which are coddling (like how both women are treated in the show. Sorry, couldn’t resist) and unlikely. I think it will probably come after the scene where Bellamy gives Cadogan the picture of his family and he burns it to prove his detachment from personal ties. Then again he’s a sociopath so…

2.Clarke will be tortured in the M-Cap machine. Yes, we all know this will happen because of the promo, and also in the promo is the fact that Clarke is fighting it; evidenced by the black blood streaming down each side of her face as the points dig into her skull. We also know Bellamy is there watching her being tortured and as far as we know doing nothing to stop it besides probably telling her to just co-operate. I know everyone is hoping this will be where Bellamy hears the radio calls, but I don’t think that’s what’s going to happen. Now hear me out: Clarke is in that chair because Cadogan wants all info he can get about the Flame and who might have more info about it, do you really think he’s just going to stand there with his newest recruit, who he believes is the key to controlling Clarke, while her memories of her love of Bellamy possibly work to undo his indoctrination? No, I think Cadogan will use Bellamy to establish a neural link and then when he realises the threat Clarke poses to keeping Bellamy as his disciple, he’ll send him away, possibly to talk to his other friends and try to ‘reason’ with them. I also think this would be a wonderful time to have Clarke relive Echo trying to kill her ‘to avenge Bellamy’ while Raven and Shaw watch and Madi orders her down using a Heda order (not that Cadogan will know that), because it will show a previous ‘kill to avenge Bellamy’ moment that will solidify Bellamy’s belief that his break-up with Echo was the right choice, but it would also work in Cadogan’s favour of ‘selfless love over selfish love’ and the danger of personal attachments, especially if he was looking for her more recent attempt to ‘avenge Bellamy’ and just happened to stumble upon it.He’s nothing if not an opportunist.

Once he’s gone the real torture will begin while Cadogan works to get the info by any means necessary. Cadogan is a narcissistic sociopath, do you really think he’ll take any risk that Clarke will reach Bellamy? I think they’ll damn near liquify her brain and then she’ll be kept apart from her people so they don’t cause a fuss. (possibly next episode) I think then Levitt will find out how hard they pushed Clarke and when he tells Octavia and she begs him to check on her, he finds Clarke in pretty rough shape. When he tells Octavia and brings Bellamy at her request, taking him away from his tour, she then confronts Bellamy who doesn’t believe her. Then Levitt shows him the footage of Clarke being tortured which she tried to resist by remembering the radio calls as a kind of block for anything outside that purview until they push too hard and she falls unconscious. Bellamy sees her being tortured and the calls and the cracks start to deepen and the indoctrination starts to fail. I know a lot of people want Bellamy there while she’s actually tortured, but I honestly don’t think that kind of betrayal of trust and basic human rights can be forgiven (by Clarke or Bellamy forgiving himself cause he’d despise himself if that did happen) and forgotten in 4-5 episodes to the degree it will need to for them to pass the test and end up together (unless they do a ‘6 years later’ where they’re married and 5 year old sibling for Madi with another on the way, but even then). I also think he’ll stay as a ‘faithful disciple’ even as he’s pulled by both sides internally until he has more info either way and will be there when point 5 below happens.

3.Tied to above: is it safe to hook Clarke up to that thing cause like time I checked, in canon it’s only been a week since Clarke was having seizures and almost died from sharing her brain for too long with Josephine which she was warned would lead to neural degradation then death, so can she actually survive the procedure?

4.I would be so happy if they have Jordan do a ‘Monty Green stopping Bellamy, Gaia and Indra in the fighting pits’ call-back by having Jordan burst in while they’re torturing Clarke with the news that Cadogan the narcissist translated the message wrong...which didn’t end so great for Becca when she presented another option other than leaving Earth. Though honestly, I don’t think it would happen next episode, maybe the one after or at least not expanded upon too much while they’re being watched.

5. I think it’s a possibility that when they do break Clarke, the info they get will be so vague that they’ll be flummoxed by it, but Bellamy will know what it means and his final decision will be made. It will just be Madi’s drawings of Clarke as ‘Wanheda’ and the Anomaly stone, my little Nightblood in Trig, and maybe one of two little things that will mean little to the Bardoans out of context and everything to Bellamy. He’d go straight to the others, maybe grabbing Levitt on the way. The other wont trust him because it’s such an about face but Bellamy will tell them about the torture (which Octavia didn’t tell them about to keep them from getting hurt trying to protect her) reminding them that Clarke was not the last person to have the Flame, that Madi was. Raven tentatively admits that Madi had been drawing pictures from her dreams that Gaia and Clarke might be from the Flame. They need to get to Madi first (and even the dead Flame might have some info) before Cadogan gets a chance to and stop Cadogan from torturing Madi like he’s done to Clarke. It’s eventually agreed that Bellamy will distract Cadogan while Levitt and Gabriel get Clarke and the others steal enough uniforms so they can get to Sanctum with their minds intact.

6.So Levitt stopped reading Octavia’s memories during the City of Light, right? And the Conductor was spouting that the Shephard message of ‘selfless love’? Who wants to bet that Cadogan gets more than a little threatened when he starts seeing not only Clarke in the City of Light itself (Imagine them starting with being tortured by her mind controlled mother, then ‘Her friends are her weakness. Start with Bellamy Blake.’, her mother being controlled to hang herself and Clarke not giving in  and Bellamy and Murphy bursting in and Clarke becoming a temporary Nightblood  and her conversations with Jasper, Becca and ALIE, even if we only see snippets or them mentioning in as an aside to rush it along, it would be heavy hitting under the circumstances), but also the lead-up and aftermath of Praimfaya, and more specifically Clarke’s place in it? The Shephard is revered for ‘saving his people from the fire’, well Bellamy shut the door and took his people to space to save them from Praimfaya while Clarke stayed behind ON THE SURFACE OF THE PLANET in order to align the dish manually to save them. The Shephard conquered the Mountain? Bellamy and Clarke defeated the Mountain who had been kidnapping the Grounder to either use as blood bags or turning them into mindless cannibals, and tortured teenagers to death for their bone marrow even after they said they’d donate it willingly. The Shephard went on a pilgrimage for 3 months with provisions to do the aforementioned conquering of the mountain? Clarke Mother F’ing Griffin survived the 2nd Apocalypse that burnt up 96% of the Earth’s surface and not only did she survive, she managed to find the 4% or at least a large chunk on it and lived there alone with only her adoptive daughter and broken radio for company for 6 YEARS! A lot of Cadogan’s mythos and legend is his own self-aggrandizing and twisting circumstances to fit his narrative of ‘I am the one true Prophet and Saviour who will lead us into the Last War for all Mankind’, Clarke’s is from her own actions, deeds and self-sacrifice.

Because while the Bardoans may are quick to spout out the credence of “the few for the many” how many of them have actually had to back that up? And both Bellamy and Clarke have, on multiple occasions. Remember Clarke and Bellamy’s little chat with Roan before the City of Light? About how ALIE didn’t give a damn what clan you were from, she wanted to get EVERYONE? Octavia knew about it, but Clarke was there when she and Bellamy convinced Roan. And also “Are you really willing to trust that guy with your life?” “No. But you’ll be covering us the entire time, and I trust you.” Not to mention him holding her hand when she got the Flame implanted and him trusting her when she said that taking ALIE’s chip was the right choice.

Huh, the end of season 3 had a heck of Bellarke, didn’t it 😉

7.I think when Cadogan finds out that Clarke has a mind-drive in her head he’s going to be veeery interested in cutting her neck open and becoming the Shephard for all eternity. Am I wrong?

8.I’m calling it now; the final test (given by a manifestation of Becca since she’s connected to all of them and the Anomaly stone) will be between Bellamy and Clarke, Cadogan and Sheidheda. It will be straight forward and/or easy to cheat until there is trick situation where their actions, not their words, show their true beliefs and goals. Maybe showing someone they loved in the past or present (Callie and Reese, whoever Sheidheda may care for, Clarke or Bellamy being trapped and there only being time to save the other or to ‘win’)