#EXFUCKINGSCUSEME

[myrabbitistrying2killme]

This was my fucking dream that I summbitted anyways TODAY I LEARNED YAHOO OWNS TUMBLR. I WAS NOT AWARE. WHAT THE FUCK.

I got taken to bad child clown school and when I came back my high school had been taken over by Yahoo. It was still a normal high school, just, Yahoo brand high school. Also, it was bright blue.

[supercalifragipopculturevomit]

EXFUCKINGSCUSEME?? How dare you, Sir.

📸 John Balsom

[kingfakey]

exfuckingscuseme????

[firelord-frowny]

Just finished my 2nd playthrough of assassin’s creed odyssey lmao annnnnnnd

can finally say with confidence that i fucking hate the mother!!! lmao oh my god! 

poor alexios omfg his whole family was shit! 

so, my first playthrough, i got The Worst Ending lmao where kassandra kills the mom and then alexios has to kill kassandra. 

very very sad, cry cry, blah blah. 

THIS time, i was about to be so happy because only kassandra dies! she tries to fuckin kill alexios and so obviously he stabs her in the head and kicks her evil ass off the mountain! 

and the mom is devastated, obviously, having just had to watch one of her kids kill the other in self defense (and in defense of the entire greek world tbh) and alexios is hugging her and trying to console her, 

AND THEN THE WRETCH BASICALLY TELLS HIM THAT SHE HATES HIM AND TO FUCK OFF FOREVER AND NEVER COME BACK???????????????

LIKE EXCUSE ME???????

DID YOU FUCKING MISS THEE PART WHERE YOUR PRECIOUS EVIL DAUGHTER TRIED TO KILL ME TWICE??? DESPITE MY EFFORTS TO GET THROUGH TO HER??? DID YOU NOT FUCKING HEAR ME WHEN I TOLD YOU TIME AND TIME AGAIN THAT SHE’S BEEN BRAINWASHED AND MAY BE TOO FAR GONE TO BE SAVED???? DID YOU NOT HEAR HER WHEN SHE DECLARED SHE WAS GOING TO KILL ME????

LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?????

DO YOU REALLY NOT THINK SHE WOULD HAVE MURDERED YOUR ASS RIGHT AFTER SHE MURDERED MINE IF I DIDNT KILL HER FIRST?????? 

oh! my! god! 

to have fucking failed to protect both of your children years ago to the degree that you thought they both had been MURDERED, and then upon discovering they both survived and lived horrific lives where one is brainwashe by a cult and the other is living a life of poverty and petty crime, and when you’re finally reunited with the children YOU FAILED TO PROTECT and one of them tries to kill the other and the other kills them first in self defense, 

AND THEN YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO DISOWN THE ONE WHO SURVIVED????

i mean okay OKAY i GET IT that she was actually powerless to save either one of them at the beginning. but just because she was powerless doesnt mean it wasnt still her job to protect them. through no fault of her own, she failed. but the most important part of that concept is the failure, not the fault. so like. she owns that shit at the end of the day. 

but color me COMPLETELY UNSURPRIIIISED because i definitely was put off in the first playthrough when she insisted that ~your father who threw you off a fucking mountain just because somebody told him to really did Love You In His Own Way~ omfg like, exfuckingscuseme??? 

how fucking dare you! how do you fix your mouth to say that the father who THREW ME OFF A MOUNTAIN loved me????? what the fuck is wrong with you????

so like, i knew right then that i did not like this character. and i don’t even mean that in an ~i think she was poorly written~ kind of way. i think thats so dumb lmao i hate when people whine that a character was ~poorly written~ when really what they mean is that they just don’t agree with/understand a character’s choices. 

but me??? im all too aware of the fact that the real world is filled with real people who behave dumbly and have shitty values, so there’s no reason why fictional characters should be exempt from behaving dumbly and having shitty values! 

and thats exactly what i think of this woman in this game! 

your values are hopelessly fucked if you can bring yourself to believe that you can love a child and throw them off a mountain at the same time. 

idiot!  

[supercalifragipopculturevomit]

Professor X trying out Rogue's streak? Yes, please 🥵

[heavenlybubbles]

Bitch

[forthereaderinserts]

Royally Fucking up the Timelines!

-CHAPTER FIVE: LOSING FAMILY-

   “EXFUCKINGSCUSEME?!”

   “What?”

   Rui did not expect this to happen. He either expected you to die, or turn into a demon. Not stay as a human.

   “Woah woah woah woah, wait a minute. What do you mean that I’m going to stay a human?”

   You asked.

   Rui looked at you. Your face was full of confusion and panic.

   “I need you to infiltrate the Demon Slayer Corps and give me information on how and why you know who the Upper Moons are.”

   The lord said.

   Rui didn’t understand how you knew the Demon Slayer corps when you said that you didn’t know who they were. Maybe you were in a state of confusion and panic? That could be it.

   “O-kay!! Listen here, almighty singer, let me tell you one thing! I’m supposed to be Rui's sibling, and it’s going to stay that way! I don’t want to mess things up more than I already have!”

   You say, nervously laughing a bit.

   The lord seemed uninterested.

   He looks over at the Biwa demon(since when was she there?)and she strikes her Biwa. Doors open beneath Rui, and he falls back into Natagumo Mountain.

   Rui stares at the ground, his eyes going blurry. He touches his face, realizing they were tears. How long has it been since he cried? It doesn’t matter.

   Nothing matters since his only sibling figure in his demon life is gone.

  -CHAPTER FIVE: END-

  I have proceeded to write badly written angst :).

——————————

Backstory as to why rui forces people to be his family-

[firelord-frowny]

i am soooooooooooooooooooooooo jaded against advertisements in general omfg.

a company can't just state what service they provide and what advantages a consumer would experience if they chose them over a competitor. nooooooooooo they have to also try to make the consumer feel emotionally or socially compelled/obligated to buy whatever is being sold.

like that one freaking paint commercial omfg where it's like

~you need to repaint your house because if you don't it's like you're still living with the Old You, and the Old You is annoying~

??????????????????? exfuckingscuseme???? lmfao like even if the old me IS annoying, literally why should that mean i have to now spend lots of time and money on repainting my walls, when i could instead just, oh i dunno, be a Mature And Well Adjusted Adult and realize that there is no inherent connection between my old behaviors and my home decor??? And just, the implication that a person SHOULD have negative feelings toward their old self??? my old self is a fucking delight, thank you very much. and so is my current self and my future self. fuck off!

[shamelessteas]

#ExfuckingscuseMe?!?! https://t.co/KBnyj7s70w

[forthereaderinserts]

Royally Fucking up the Timelines!

Tumblr’s being mean, so Imma switch something up a bit.

  Italics is Japanese

Normal is English

  -CHAPTER FOUR: MEETING HIM-

   It was now the time that you meet the one and only:

   Muzan Kibitsuji.

   To be honest, you were not thrilled to meet him.

   Not because he’s terrifying, no.

   It was because he’s a pussy that screeches whenever a demon says his name. 

   “So, Rui, how’s it going to go? Do we just… Stand here?”

   You and Rui were currently standing in a random spot on Mount Natagumo, holding hands.

   “Yes. Soon, doors will open beneath us and we will fall into the Infinity Fortress.”

 Rui responded.

   “Ah, okay.”

   You said,

   “By the way, why do you still have that flower crown on?”

   “I like it.”

   “It’s not even that good. It was my first time.”

   “I find it good.”

   “Well okay. Suit yourself.”

   All of a sudden, the sound of a biwa was heard, and two doors appeared and opened beneath the two of you. You screamed as you two were dropped, but Rui’s face was the same. Then, the two of you reached solid ground. You held onto Rui’s arm for comfort, shivering like crazy.

   “When he shows up, don’t say a word. Let me do the talking.”

   Rui said.

   You nod in response.

   Another strike of a biwa leads you two to a platform, with a man standing on the elevated level:

   None other than the hee-hee man, Muzan Kibutsuji.

   You take back the thought of him being a pussy.

   Right now, he was scary as all hell.

   All you could do was stand there, trembling like some bunny that’s been cornered.

   “Rui,”

   He spoke,

   “Why did you make a meeting with me?”

   “My lord, I have found a human foreigner that speaks English in Mount Natagumo. Would you be so kind as to turn them into a demon?”

   “And why would I do that?”

   Veins started to appear on Muzan’s face.

   ‘Wait wait wait- isn’t Rui Muzan’s favorite person? Why does he seem mad? Did something unpleasant happen to him?? They’re talking in Japanese so I can’t understand-’

   “My lord, I have wanted to have a family, and you granted me that opportunity. So I ask of you to turn them into a demon.”

   Muzan turned to you, his ruby red eyes piercing your soul.

   “Tell me, human. How could you serve me as a demon?”

   He said in English.

   “I-uh-I-”

   You stammered. It took you a few tries to say something, and it was something that you definitely should not have said.

   “iKNOWABOUTTHEBLUESPIDERLILY-”

   You slap a hand over your mouth, regretting your decision.

  “Really? What do you know about the Blue Spider Lily?”

   He responds without missing a beat.

   You’re sweating buckets, shivering tremendously.

  -

   Rui doesn’t know what you two are talking about.

   All he knows is that he hates seeing you like this: sweating, stammering, and shivering.

  -

   You don’t know what to do.

   You just said that out of fear.

   ‘A-alright, brain! Time to improvise!!!’

   “W-well, I know wh-what your motives are with the b-blue sp-i-ider lily, a-and wh-why you’re looking for it…?”

   You say, your tone raising at the end, like a question.

   Muzan stares at you for a few seconds before speaking again.

   “How do I know that you’re not lying?”

   “THAT’S BECAUSE I DIDDLY DARN AM!!!”

   ‘wHATAREYOUDOINGSTOPSTOPYOU’RESUCHANIDIOTAAAA--’

    “BUT WHAT I DO KNOW IS SOME OF THE DEMON SLAYERS IN THE CORPS!!!”

   ‘WHATTHEFUCKNOYOUCAN’TSAYTHAT-’

   “-AND ALL OF THE UPPER MOONS-”

  ‘STOPITPLEASEYOU’REGOINGTOMESSUPTHETIMELINE-’

   “-ANDWHYYOU’RESUCHAPISSBABY-”

   You paused.

   ‘IDEFINETELYSHOULDNOTHAVESAIDTHATWHATTHEFFFUUUUCKKK--’

   Surprisingly, Muzan’s face stayed neutral.

   -

   Muzan… had no idea what you just said in the last sentence.

   All he could hear was a blabber of words being put together.

   He heard the other sentences, though.

  -

   “I see. I’ve made up my mind.”

   Rui felt anticipation bubbling up in his chest. Was he going to have a new sibling? Were you going to die? What’s going to happen?

   “You’re going to stay a human.”

   “EXFUCKINGSCUSEME?!”

   “What?”

  -CHAPTER FOUR: END-

———————————————

When your new human sibling is now vibing with your lord

[chaos-in-rush]

Exfuckingscuseme

One of New York Central’s “Mercury” engines in Chicago, 1936.

[serendumbity]

exfuckingscuseme

GREEN

[vividlylost]

EXFUCKINGSCUSEME

Do you wanna run that by me again???????

IF HE IS CANONICALLY IN LOVE WITH MARKUS THEN WHY WASNT HE THE LOVE INTEREST INSTEAD OF NORTH ANYWAY. SHE SHOWED NO INTEREST IN MARKUS AND WAS AT ODDS WITH HIM SO MUCH LIKE WHAT THE FUCK

Im so angry

PATCH THIS

Rb if you’re a liiittle bitter that the creators said Simon is CANONICALLY in love with Markus and that they were going to make it an option for them to be together but never did bc it’d make “too many options” like??? Your game has like 40 endings

[sonnyrafi-blog]

EXFUCKINGSCUSEME

Raúl Esparza in ‘A Beast, No More’ (S03E02)