#EVERY MONTH IS SPOOKY MONTH IF YOU’RE GAY ENOUGH

[did-someone-say-aliens]

hot take and i dont care who disagrees: you’re never too old to go trick or treating and if a group of whimsical 20-40 year olds showed up at my door dressed as the avengers i will applaud them, give them the whole ass bowl of candy, and possibly engage in a polyamorous marriage with them

[quodekash]

ECLIPSE INCORRECT QUOTES

because that’s when you know im obsessed with it

(disclaimer: I meant to do this literally two weeks ago but I didn’t think I had enough but I stopped for a bit and my adhd brain promptly forgot about it for a week and then remembered and then forgot for another week, and honestly i meant to actually make this for like a month before that but i didnt actually start finding the quotes until two weeks ago, but it’s fine I’m here now)

—- —-

Akk: Ayan is a little bitch.  Wat: Why?  Akk: Number one, he’s little. Number two, he’s a bitch.

(episode 1-3 core)

—- —-

Namo: The floor is lava!  Kan: *helps Thua onto the counter*  Akk: *kicks Wat off the sofa*  Ayan: *lays on the floor*  Namo: ...Are you okay?  Ayan: No. 

(im 80% certain this is a deleted scene from the beach episodes)

—- —-

*Akk and Ayan are planning to break in somewhere*  Akk: We need to distract the guards.  Ayan: Right.  Akk: What are we gonna do?  Ayan: I'm gonna break their elbows while you poke their eyes.  Akk:  Ayan:  Akk: Deal. 

—- —-

Akk: Aye, can you help me? All of my clothes keep disappearing for some reason.  Ayan, wearing a hoodie that's 5 times bigger than his size: Spooky. 

—- —-

Akk: I'm going to take a shower, I'll be right back.  Ayan: Why are you telling me this, I don't care.  Ayan, right after Akk leaves the room: I miss him already.

—- —-

Aye: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.  Aye, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor. 

—- —-

Akk: I fell—  Aye: From heaven?  Akk: No, I literally fell—  Aye: In love with me the moment you saw me?  Akk: MY ARM IS BROKEN!  Aye: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest. 

—- —-

Aye: Are we fighting or flirting?  Akk: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck-  Aye: Your point? 

—- —-

Thua: Two bros!  Kan: Chillin' in a hot tub!  Thua and Kan, in unison: Zero feet apart 'cause we're GAY AS FUCK! 

—- —-

Akk: I owe you one.  Aye: That’s ok. You can just date me and we’ll call it even. 

—- —-

Thua: I want to kiss you.  Kan, not paying attention: What?  Thua: I said if you die, I wont miss you. 

(its okay thua, he's not ignoring you, he has adhd. just kiss him, he'll be happy, trust me)

—- —-

Kan: And now for a gay update with Akk and Aye.  Akk: Getting gayer.  Kan: Thank you, Akk. 

—- —-

Wat: So… I’ve seen you’ve been spending a lot of time with Thua recently.  Kan: No, Wat, it's not what it looks like, I swear.  Wat: Oh really? So no reason for me to be jealous?  Kan: No! You’re the only one for me.  Wat: Is that so?  Kan: I promise! Thua and I are just dating, okay? He’s my boyfriend.  Wat: So there are no best-friends-feelings involved?  Kan: You are still my one and only best friend! He’s just the love of my life, nothing more!  Wat: But I’m still the platonic love of your life, right?  Kan: Of course bro!  Wat: Bro...  Thua: What the- 

—- —-

*at 3am*  Kan: *runs into Akk’s room and turns on the light* Wake up sleepyhead!  Akk: *wakes up* Dude!  Kan: *cackles*  Aye: *sits up from where he was sleeping behind akk* What the fuck, Kan? Kan: *jaw drops* Wait WHAT- 

(the original vine is now playing over and over in my head and its probably my favourite vine and its literally them and i love it so much gerjdhgbrh)

—- —-

Kan: This totally sucks, man.  Akk: This is horrible.  Kan: Yeah, I know, I mean look at everything the curse did to those rulebreakers today.  Akk: No, it’s not that, it’s Aye. Akk: It’s just like, I can’t get him out of my head and every time I look at him I have these pains in my chest, and I just know it’s his fault, that bitch! 

(AVPM QUOTE LETS GOOO and yes it is perfection and is exactly canon i take no criticism)

—- —-

Kan: Did Thua just tell me he loved me for the first time?  Akk: Yeah, he did.  Kan: And did I just do finger guns back?  Akk: Yeah, you did. 

(oh you sweet sweet maybe-bisexual man)

—- —-

Aye: *finds a note* Hmm, whats this?  Kan: Hey, that's mine! *tries to grab it*  Aye: Aww, it's a love note for Thua?  Kan: No-  Aye: *opens it*  Aye:  Kan:  Aye: I can't read this. 

(is it because the contents are too explicit to read or because kan's handwriting is awful? you decide)

—- —-

Kan: So are you gonna explain how the hell you crashed my car?  Akk: Well we were driving and there was a deer in the road, so I said "Aye, deer!"  Kan: ...And what did you say?  Aye: ..."Yes, Honey?" 

—- —-

Kan: I love you.  Thua: I love you too. I've waited so long to hear you say that.  *Kan and Thua kiss passionately*  Wat, to Akk: You owe me 20 dollars. 

(HES BEEN SAYING IT FOR YEARS AND THEY FINALLY DID IT. IMAGINE THE VICTORIOUS FEELING WAT FELT IN THAT MOMENT. NOT TO MENTION THE JOY AT HIS SHIP FINALLY GETTING TOGETHER. BRO IS AS PHENOMENAL AS TIW AND I LOVE HIM SO FREAKING MUCH (someone write a crossover fic where tiw and wat get together and plot their ships' getting together. if someone has already written this, please tell me)

—- —-

Kan: Time sensitive question how flirt boy.  Akk: Throw rocks at he.  Aye: Hot Dogs.  Wat: Kill him.  Kan: Thanks guys. 

—- —-

Kan, trying to sound happy: *about Aye and Thua* They’d make a cute couple, huh? Akk, holding back tears: They certainly are standing next to each other. 

(first few episodes core. specifically when aye is whispering in thua's ear and theyre both just standing to the side watching it happen and completely unaware that this means they are gay and in love with one of them)

—- —-

Thua: I'm so happy, I could kiss you!  Kan: Um...Neat.  *later*  Kan, lying face down on their bed: I said "Neat," Akk. Who the fuck says neat these days? It's not neat to say neat but I said it anyways because I'm fucking stupid.  Akk, reading a book: Don't beat yourself up too much, Kan. Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Remember what I did when Aye confessed his love for me?  Kan: Didn't you thank him?  Akk: *closes the book and looks at the ceiling* I fucking thanked him. 

—- —-

Kan: How is the most beautiful person in the world?  Thua: *blushing* I—  Aye, butting into the conversation: Akk is perfect, thanks for asking. 

—- —-

Wat: Do you love Kan?  Thua: Yeah, I do.  Wat: Akk! I told you I knew it! You owe me 100 baht!  Akk: We all love Kan. You should've asked if he was IN love with him.  Thua: I thought that was implied.  Akk: ...  Wat: ...  Thua, looking straight at Akk: Congrats Wat, you just won 100 baht. 

—- —-

Akk: Are you trying to seduce me?  Aye: Why, are you seducible? 

—- —-

Aye: Jail is no fun. I’ll tell you that much.  Wat: Oh, you’ve been?  Aye: Once. In Monopoly. 

—- —-

Wat: When I was a kid, Kan told me that the paper strip that’s in the chocolate kisses were edible and I ate them with the chocolate for a year.  Teacher Sani: They are!  Wat: FOR REAL?  Sani: No! Why did you fall for it again? 

—- —-

Thua, on a random band name generator: Oooo! They Might Be Depressed Horses! That about sums up my friend group. 

—- —-

Akk: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us.  Ayan: If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both. 

—- —-

Ayan: Hey, Akk, what do you think it would be like if we had kids?  Akk: What would it be like? Inconvenient, mostly.  Ayan: No, I mean, what would they be like, the kids? You ever think about it?  Akk: Can't really say I have.  Ayan: You know, for someone as eccentric as yourself, you can be boring as fuck sometimes.  Akk: Sorry, Aye. For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringin' up anybody. 

—- —-

Ayan: Talk dirty to me, baby~  Akk: The dishes.  Ayan: Wh-  Akk: They’ve been there for 4 days and it’s your turn to wash them. You still haven’t cleaned them and I have asked you to do so several times. 

—- —-

Ayan: My hands are cold.  Akk: Here, let me hold them.  Ayan: My lips are cold too. Akk: *covers Ayan's mouth with his hand* 

—- —-

Akk: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.  Ayan: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear.  Akk: ...  Akk: You mean ring bearER, right?  Ayan: ...  Akk: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding. 

—- —-

Ayan: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.  Akk: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit. 

—- —-

Akk: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.  Ayan: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.  Akk: I said within reason, Ayan. How about I murder that guy?  Ayan: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't?  Akk: Well, duh. What kind of question is that? 

—- —-

Ayan: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.  Akk: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.  Ayan: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??  Akk: Is it working? 

—- —-

Akk: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.  Ayan: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.  Akk: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??  Ayan: Is it working? 

—- —-

and now, for my personal favourite...

Ayan: Akk is playing hard to get.  Ayan: Little does he know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of. 

—- —-

that's all for now, but i promise, i will be back

[redoqs]

Wake up bestie tis spooky month! You know that means

How would the lords and sisters react to Halloween? Trick or treating, wearing costumes, watching horror movies, the whole shebang!

First off I’m only doing the women because I’m gay

Alcina had no idea what the hell Halloween was until one year on October 30th, her daughters all rushed in her chambers chants “HALLOWEEN! HALLOWEEN!” She had Bela explain what that was and Alcina was like ????? Monsters? Candy? Horror movies and costumes? What the hell kind of holiday was this? But she loves her daughters and indulges them in their shenanigans so she does more research on the topic and puts her herself to work. She stays up all night decorating the. Entire. Castle. Not a room or hallway was without decorations and the maids are required to dress up. If they don’t, it’s lights out for them. When the daughters wake up and see that their room is decorated in spooky shit they all race to see who can give her the biggest hug first. Alcina is exhausted but if it makes her children happy then it’s worth it

Bela is deeply, and I mean deeply into the costumes. She is so indecisive about who or what she wants to dress up as. She’s doesn’t go as a dead doctor or a werewolf because that’s so boring and unoriginal. So she decides that she’s gonna make her own costume from scratch and she will take the whole month to do it. From October 1st to October 30th she will be in her room cutting and pasting and everything in order to create the perfect costume to impress everyone. She’s strutting out her room on the 31st, thinking she’s hot shit. “Bela, why did you make a whole costume of mother?” “Why? Is it not good?” “No its fucking amazing!”

Cassandra is ready, and I mean ready for the horror movies. She has the TV set to show only the goriest, the grossest, the most fucked up shit anyone has ever seen, it would be enough to make even her sisters say “Cass, what the actual shit?” She loves everything horror, from the classic Freddy’s, Jason’s and Michael’s to even to even the books. Goosebumps? She’s read them all. Oh, and she’s gonna scare everyone, more than normal. She’s not gonna stop until every person has been pranked at least twice, excluding her mother, in which case she will scare her once. The lecture she receives is more than worth it

Daniela. Wants. To. Go. Trick. Or. Treating. She’s doesn’t give a FAWK if she’s too old for it, she’s putting a sheet over her head, cutting two holes in the front and will go to every maid’s room and yell “Trick or Treat!” In the loudest voice possible. And you better have some candy to give her or she will turn you into a toosie roll and eat you instead. Once her bag is full she’s rushing to her room and eating every single thing. She knows it’s all safe because no one would dare put a sharp in her shit. If you hear random thudding in the middle of the night don’t be alarmed that’s just Daniela rushing around on a sugar high.

Donna has heard about the holiday but never celebrated it. Then she met you and you’re all into the holiday and she hasn’t told you that she’s into you yet so this is her opportunity to tell you that by heavily indulging herself into your favorite holiday. You’re dead asleep one night and Donna is all over the place, putting up decorations and filling random bowls around the house with candy and putting spooky stuff all around the house. She’s also making a movie playlist of all the horror movies she can find. She even put on a spooky veil. Angie is helping too! She’s excited about it because she’s never celebrated Halloween either but she’s so ready! She’s exhausted but she’s done. By the time you wake up and leave the room to see the haunted house that Donna created you’re moved to tears because holy shit! She did this for you? You ask her why and she shyly admits it’s because she likes you and wants to see you happy. Now you gotta step closer and ask if you could kiss her because you like her too and that how you two end up together.

[bowie-boy]

Favorite LGBT+ headcanons for X-Files characters? Mine is that pretty much every main F.B.I. agent(including Krycek) is either bisexual or asexual(or both)! :)

This has been in my inbox for months and I keep forgetting about it I’m so sorry but TODAY IS THE DAY!!!! Happy TDOV Fox and @himbo-mulder (this is my response to your ask too)

LGBTQ X-Files Headcanons Because Someone Asked

Fox Mulder:

Bi and trans icon

The first person he told was Samantha

She accepted him immediately as her big brother and told him he should name himself Fox (it was her favorite animal at the time)

He was going to make his name William Mulder Jr. up until she disappeared, in which he actually decided to make his first name Fox (he misses her 🥺)

Came out to his parents sometime in high school, both took it badly

Bill was hella transphobic—he was already pretty shitty to Mulder but this added a whole new layer to it

Teena was more passive aggressive about it but still made withering comments about how she “lost two daughters now”

Some high school friends (*chants* PHOEBE AND GIMBLE PHOEBE AND GIMBLE) helped Mulder start T and change his legal name on government documents before he left for Oxford

Mulder wanted to go stealth while he was there but came out to Phoebe

When they broke up, she outed him to everyone

Things got so bad that he almost dropped out

Mulder joined the FBI, excited at the prospect of knowing no one and being able to go exclusively by his last name

He was somewhat happy of his solitude in the basement—no one really looked into him past his spooky nature, so no one could find out he was trans

Since Samantha, Scully was the first person who was truly accepting of who he really was

Got top surgery sometime before Colony

Definitely fell in love with Scully right after reading her profile skrjnwkdjwka

Mulder and Krycek were definitely an item for a hot sec until Krycek went evil

Mulder is 500% faithful to Scully but kinda had a crush on Doggett for a little bit

Mulder just wants to be a better dad than Bill 🥺🥺🥺

Mulder helped Byers realize he was trans!!! More on that later though

Dana Scully:

A bi queen

Definitely experimented in college and had a couple girlfriends there and through med school

Ending up breaking up with a girl she was really close with because Scully’s job was just putting too much strain on their relationship

It was really hard on her and made her swear off serious relationships for a long time

She thought Mulder was adorable from the moment she saw him but was really scared of actually developing feelings for him so she pushed it down

And kept pushing it down until she finally realized Mulder was never going to hurt her and actually let him in

I’m just ranting about MSR now oops

100% faithful to Mulder but thought Reyes was super hot

Scully is just a distinguished bi idk what else to say

Walter Skinner:

You can’t adopt THAT MANY LGBT agents if you’re not LGBT yourself, right?

Definitely bisexual

Grew up in a really conservative family and didn’t even consider it an option until he moved out

Skinner was attracted to a lot of guys in his squad in Vietnam but he thought it was just because there were no women around

(Spoiler alert: it wasn’t)

Skinner fell in love with John “Kitten” James and he fell hard

Absolutely did everything possible to protect that man

He was terrified of his feelings though and pushed them down, eventually starting to resent his best friend for making him feel things he couldn’t understand

When Kitten got infected by that gas, Skinner put his values over the man he loved, not just because he thought it was the right thing to do, but because he was terrified that he might be bi

He has regretted it ever since

Married his wife after the war and had a pretty good relationship until he became too consumed with his work

Their breakup was really hard on him and he delved even more into his work

Sometime after Avatar (maybe by season 5 or 6), Skinner meets a really lovely man and that man becomes his boyfriend

It’s really hard at first, but the guy helps Skinner to open up and allow himself to be okay with who he really is

They make time for each other outside of work and are really happy together!

Skinner’s boyfriend is 100% okay with the fact that Skinner has basically adopted all these agents

Skinner is everyone’s dad!!! No exceptions

John Byers:

Trans man!!!!

Discovered it pretty late in life, like he knew earlier but he Repressed it

First person he ever came out to was Mulder (as in my fic 😌)

Lots of internalized transphobia in this man but Mulder and the Lone Gunmen really helped him break out of that

Langly and Frohike obviously went with him to get his first T shot and chanted “MAN JUICE” while it happened (scaring a lot of the nurses)

Met Susanne before he transitioned so seeing her again in Three of a Kind was a little terrifying for him

She accepts him though and is a bi icon herself

Byers wears suits so much because they make him feel really validated

Ringo Langly:

Non-binary and gay!! Langly uses any pronouns (gonna stick to he/him for this list to keep things simple though)

Grew up pretty unaware about gender as a whole, just living his life

Moving away from home to a city was huge for him, he started going to gay bars and really realized that he was gay

Eventually started to experiment with his gender, using different pronouns etc., and found out he was non-binary!

Came out to Frohike shortly after learning Frohike was bi (more on that later)

Goes by Ringo because it’s somewhat gender neutral

He isn’t dysphoric very often but when he is it’s very hard for him to cope, Byers and Frohike are always there to support him and help however possible though

Langly gets way more dates than Frohike and loves to brag about it

Melvin Frohike:

We stan one funky little bi king

HE WAS AT STONEWALL I’LL DIE ON THIS HILL

Frohike had a mega crush on Mulder when he first met him and it persisted all the way until he met Scully

And then when he met Doggett he crushed on him too

Frohike is just kind of a hopeless romantic okay I love him

Absolutely bonds with Scully and they always debate which celebrity is hotter while they get more and more drunk

John Doggett

GAY MAN

Doggett was really repressed for a lot of his life, not because he thought his family would hate him for being gay but mostly because of his environment

(He was a drama kid though)

The military REALLY repressed him and thoroughly fucked him up

It wasn’t until he met Reyes that he started to accept himself more

At first Reyes being a lesbian totally freaked him out and he was really upset, leading to a huge strain on their friendship, but one night he broke down and told her he was pretty sure he was gay

Reyes really helped him through everything, especially his divorce from his wife and the loss of his son

Doggett eventually came out to his dad, who was super accepting

It took Doggett a long time to be comfortable enough to date but he started and met a really great guy, one who he’s now married to

One day he mentioned his boyfriend in passing and the rest of the Spooky Squad totally flipped out because they had no idea he was gay

Doggett just straight-faced “I didn’t think it was relevant?”

Sings musical theater songs in the office when no one else is there

Monica Reyes:

A lesbian

There isn’t a straight bone in her body have you SEEN her???

Absolutely crushed on Scully for the longest time at first, totally backed off when she realized she was involved with Mulder

Total mlm/wlw solidarity with Doggett

Reyes is super comfortable with her sexuality

I’m convinced that she’s married and she and her wife live in the same neighborhood as Doggett and his husband

Running out of brain power at this point but I just love her so much??? Mwah

Alex Krycek:

Gay rat

Everything he did against Mulder and Scully was fueled by spite at his ex-boyfriend Mulder

Daddy issues

Sometimes he breaks into TLG’s base and vibes with them for a few days

Rat (affectionate)

Deep Throat:

Gay :)

Bonus: Melissa Scully is a trans lesbian and Samantha Mulder is bisexual and they’re dating

[casualmaraudering]

some random modern marauders headcanons:

Sirius texts back within seconds. you barely send a message and he's already opened it, he has his phone in his hand most the time. he texts in multiple messages instead of one longer message. no capital letters, no punctuation

James makes so many typos. so. many. (usually everyone makes fun of him for doing so). unironically uses :) like a cute smile

Peter texts with normal punctuation and capitalisation. his texts end with full stops (it gives remus a lot of anxiety)

Remus doesn't text back for several hours, you're lucky if he replies within like two or three hours. it's not that he even doesn't see the text, he swipes the notification away, tells himself he'll reply in a minute, and then forgets

Remus will, however, text at the most crazy hours. random Wikipedia facts at 4am, saying he's going to sleep at 6am. the boy is kind of a mess but it's ok

Sirius sends snapchats of his face, without filters. he's just that confident

James usually has some very stupid filter

Peter will take a cute photo of something in his surrounding as a snap background

& Remus doesn't even open the front camera, the best you'll get is a photo of his shoes - until he eventually builds up confidence ofc, bc we stan growth

Remus's Instagram is mostly aesthetic photos of various books he reads, or bookshops. sometimes a teacup

Sirius has photos of himself, dogs, his friends, his brother, lots of random stuff

James's is mostly himself and his friends just vibing

Peter's is 99% plants

Sirius posts the most, but that's not exactly surprising

Sirius!! has!! braces!! he hates them more than everything but everyone thinks they look really cute

when it comes to Starbucks orders (Sirius pays every time, cause he's got his dad's credit card and all):

Sirius always orders a black coffee, no milk or sugar

James tries out a different thing every time

Peter sticks with a chai latte

Remus goes for whatever's the sweetest. usually a hot chocolate, sometimes a flavoured latte with extra syrup

Remus, due to many reasons, doesn't exactly eat healthy stuff. or has a balanced diet. so whenever they all eat out together (again Sirius pays. it's commonly accepted he does, since he's got enough money to probably buy the country of France) they try to pick a place that will have a good level of nutritional value

Remus would settle for Mcdonalds but try to argue with James and Sirius

they rarely go clothes shopping together (mainly cause Sirius shops in shit like Dolce & Gabbana and Remus is very embarrassed about shopping mostly at thrift stores) but if they do usually at least one person will buy a hoodie or sweater that's designated for Remus to steal

someone will just,,,, accidentally leave it at Remus's and all

Remus plays RPGs and is a DM whenever they all play D&D

Sirius likes to play the sims cause he can make everyone and have a nice happy home (and make himself and Remus be in love and get married)

James and Sirius also have a campaign in Fifa, of course.

Peter and Remus play Minecraft. so does Regulus actually

speaking of Regulus, of course most of the group know him as "Sirius's baby brother" (that's exactly what they say when they talk about him, Reg would hate that but oh well) but Remus and him are actually friends, despite the 5 years of difference

like yes Regulus is 12 but he's very mature and Remus likes to give him book recommendations and teach him to play D&D

Sirius has a projector in his room. because he can and therefore he does

a lot of the times the boys will sneak into the Black estate, actually. Sirius's parents are away on business trips more often than not, so it's just the staff, which means they can do whatever they want

Sirius's house is very much a Rich People House, Remus still can't get over it. yes, James and Peter are also wealthy but Sirius's place screams that the most. he has a popcorn machine. a cinema room. several dining rooms. there's even a party room with a freaking pool table

Sirius likes to be dramatic and climb up the tree and through the window to Remus's room

he fell and broke his hand once. but hey. the romance of it all is more important

Remus has an unreasonable amount of fairy lights in his room. he likes the soft glow (he's afraid of the dark, everyone knows, but everyone pretends they don't know)

Sirius drags everyone to the movies at least once a month

he also plans holiday trips together, he's rather good at that. pays for it all and asks Remus's parents for permission just so Remus himself can't say no

Sirius goes all out on Halloween, of course. he likes spooky and yet stylish outfits. Lily is also with him in the spooky train, except she goes all spook, zero glam. she would dress like the nun from that horror movie

James & Peter will dress like superheroes or movie characters

Remus kind of can't be bothered, he'd just wear a headband with dog ears and say he's a werewolf

Sirius gives all of his Halloween candy to Remus, cause he himself doesn't really like sweets (and he's trying to woo Remus but we all know that)

Remus really likes stickers on all his notebooks, all the surface area there is is covered in them

Sirius has a singular sticker on his laptop that just says "I'm gay" like that's it. he also has a similar one on his guitar

Sirius took ballet classes when he was little but none of the marauders know

James's parents own a boat, which really shouldn't be surprising. what is surprising is that apparently Sirius gets very seasick very easily. yeah the one trip they all took wasn't all that fun

Sirius doesn't drink and so he's just chilling while the rest of them does shots randomly on the weekend sometimes. he doesn't mind, he likes to be included anyway. and someone has to make sure they don't accidentally drown in James's pool (almost happened once)

James or Sirius are usually the ones that go complain when something is wrong, let's say when ordering coffee. Peter doesn't like to do that and Remus is extremely socially anxious so he'd rather die than go ask for someone to fix his drink

as fancy as Sirius and James are, they both agree no snack is better than Rem's toasted pb&j

[aimmyarrowshigh]

Dark Greetings this Spooky Season Ms. V. Can we get a list of your favorite Halloween movies and specials? I know you have seen *everything* and I am trying to go beyond my usual rewatches this holiday month.

V. AIMMYARROWSHIGH’S CRITERIA FOR HALLOWEEN EPISODES

Does the Halloween element combine convincingly with the usual universe of the show (ex: Lizzie McGuire 2x09 “Those Freaky McGuires” is not good as a Halloween episode because it changes the rules of the Lizzie McGuire universe, whereas Community 2x06 “Epidemiology” is a GREAT Halloween episode because it manages to logically introduce zombies to the regular Community universe)?

Does the Halloween element advance the plot of the episode/series (ex: the reason Boy Meets World 5x17 “And Then There Was Shawn” is literally the best Halloween episode ever made is that it uses the horror movie tropes it satirizes to provide a CRUCIAL turning-point to the plot of the show)?

Is the Halloween episode in the forefront enough that it’s clearly a holiday episode (ex: HAVING ONE JACK-O’LANTERN ON A DESK DOES NOT A HALLOWEEN SPECIAL MAKE, LAW & ORDER 16x03 “GHOSTS”! You gotta go ALL-IN, like Bob’s Burgers 3x02 “Full Bars”!)?

Does the Halloween theme balance well between spooky and warm-n-fuzzy (ex: Criminal Minds 11x21 “Mr. Scratch” is too fucking bleak, but Criminal Minds 12x06 “Elliott’s Pond” has a joyous/celebratory tone to the ending despite being a genuinely scary episode)?

Is it generally a well-written, acted, and designed episode of television (ex: Saved by the Bell! 3x26 “Mystery Weekend” is seriously, not exaggerating, the worst thing I’ve ever watched in my life; Psych 1x15 “Scary Sherry, Or Bianca’s Toast” is a triumph of the medium)?

THE BEST, bar none, Halloween special ever made is Boy Meets World 5x17, “And Then There Was Shawn.” Period. There can be no argument, except MAYBE Community 3x06, “Epidemiology,” but I like “And Then There Was Shawn” better because the parody and homage as less… biting? And because I think it continues and addresses the emotional core of the regular BMW season better than “Epidemiology” does for Community s3. “Epi” DOES plant the seed (…heh) for the Season 3B major plot arc of Shirley’s pregnancy and Chang Deciding To Murder, but it gets some major minus points for mocking Yvette Nicole Brown’s weight with other characters’ responses to her costume, tbh. And “And Then There Was Shawn” is just fucking iconic. It is THE Halloween episode manual, IMO, if there were to be a textbook on how to write a perfect Halloween episode for your sitcom.

HOWEVER, I also have to give major props to Bob’s Burgers and Psych, as complete series, for their CONSISTENTLY excellent Halloween episodes. A lot of series that have multiple Halloween eps really phone it in after one or two, because they don’t have any more ideas for how to incorporate Halloween pastiches while maintaining the overall feeling of the series (tbh B99, while the Halloween Heists are excellent in general, is/has been coming very close to this line, and I think that if they HADN’T had to switch out the Heist to Cinco de Mayo in s6, they would have jumped their Heist Shark [and I think they know it, too, because it was lampshaded in the episode itself]) or they just straight-up don’t have any more ideas for what or how to have the characters they’re bound to parody or pay homage to a Halloween thing after they’ve already done one or two. And let’s be real: those one or two have probably been either The Shining or Rear Window, because those are pretty much the two that every show starts with.

Bob’s manages to make every Halloween episode feel very fresh and organic to the series, which I think they do have some leeway to do because of the nature of cartoons keeping the Belchers living a kind of loop of never aging, yk, but amazingly they’ve only done the “Tina feels too old to trick or treat, maybe? Nope, she’s not 14 yet, so there’s still time!” thing in a way that felt tropey once (in 3x02 Full Bars). They’ve been able to address Tina being 13/in 8th grade, and worrying about it being almost too late for her to keep trick or treating, in ways that were in-character and added to the overall episode in 4x02 Fort Night, 5x02 Tina and the Real Ghost, and 9x04 Nightmare on Ocean Avenue Street, without me rolling my eyes at the screen and going “TINA, EVERY SINGLE SHOW WITH A TWEEN IN IT HAS ALREADY DECIDED THAT THE AGE AT WHICH YOU MUST STOP TRICK OR TREATING IS FRESHMAN YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL, COME ON NOW” which… at this point, is a Feat. Because like, I’ve POSTED over a thousand Halloween episodes, right? But I’ve watched and screencapped ::checks folder:: 3,905 Halloween episodes since 2014. Which is, um, a. lot. The ACTUAL BEST Bob’s Burgers Halloween episode is 6x03, “The Hauntening,” which is just… achingly perfect television. I know I’ve posted about it before (probably a couple times tbh) but the way that it aired originally back-to-back with The Simpsons 27x04, “Halloween of Horror,” so that the evening of Sunday cartoons juxtaposed eight-year-old Louise whose family worked so hard to scare her like she wanted with nine-year-old Lisa’s family working so hard to keep her from being too scared and make sure that she felt safe… reader, I FUCKIN CRIED. Little girls being deeply loved while also Spoopy Things!!!!!! IS WHAT HALLOWEEN SPECIALS ARE!!! FUCKIN!!!!!! ABOUT!!!!!!!

Psych, though, has the benefit of not really having any, like… central tone to the series? Beyond “friendship” and “having fun with joking,” tbh? So it’s able to do what a lot of series get docked “points” for in my Foolproof Halloween Special Ratings System That Is Completely Subjective To My Tastes And Mood, which is really just run full-tilt into parody and homage without really worrying about overall tonal connection to the rest of the season or series. 1x15, “Scary Sherry, or, Bianca’s Toast,” while it DOES fall victim to the way-too-common Halloween episode trap of making mental hospitals into a Scary Thing (they are a medical normality and a necessary thing for health for many people and should not be feared), is delightful Spooky Fun AND has the benefit of having Shannon Woodward in it.* We all know by now that if an episode of any show has Shannon Woodward as the guest star, it will by default end up being one of the best, if not THE best, episodes of that series. It’s just how having Shannon Woodward as your guest star rolls. I also really like, with Psych’s Halloween episodes, that quite a few of them understand the underlying thematic scope of Horror, which is “The Monstrous Feminine Is A Thing And All Horror Tropes Are Actually About Women’s Interior Lives Because Men Can’t Write Women And Fear Women Always,” yk, in a way that is neither TOO Actual Horror, which I am too afraid of to Do, or too trite and demeaning, which is the other basic trap that Halloween stuff falls into A Lot. Like, Scary Sherry is very much about women villainizing other women, avenging other women, and being in very specifically-female pain, even though Shawn & Gus are still the lens through which we solve the mystery, and so are 4x04 The Devil Is In The Details And The Upstairs Bedroom and 6x03 This Episode Sucks. But they give their Monstrous Females dignity and breadth, which is impressive, ESPECIALLY since they’re one-off guest characters. Also, 3x15 Tuesday the 17th is just plain funny and well-done, like, just give it props for the title alone.

*(Speaking of Shannon Woodward, another amazingly good Halloween episode is Raising Hope 4x07, “Murder, She Hoped,” which is among my very favorite Rear Window homage episodes and has probably the funniest gag in ANY Rear Window ep, in Martha Plimpton floating across the screen in the Grace Kelly silk nightgown and peignoir and announcing that it was on sale at Walmart, can you believe?! and honestly, yes. Perfection.)

Also excellent:

• The Addams Family (1991) + Addams Family Values (1993) • Scooby-Doo and the Ghoul School (RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU WERE GAY FOR SIBELLA AS A CHILD!) • Scooby-Doo and the Witch's Ghost (RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU'RE GAY BECAUSE THE HEX GIRLS!) • Halloweentown + Halloweentown II: Kalabar's Revenge • Mom's Got a Date with a Vampire! • Z•O•M•B•I•E•S (to a lesser extent, Z•O•M•B•I•E•S 2) • Clue (1985) • Coraline • Corpse Bride • 6teen 2x00 Dude of the Dead • Arthur 21x00 Arthur and the Haunted Treehouse • Lamb-Chop in the Haunted Studio • Arthur 8x04A Fern-kenstein's Monster • Arthur 10x02 The Squirrels • WandaVision 1x06 The All-New Halloween Spooktacular (I KNOW YOU, SPECIFICALLY, DEAR @plavoptice, HATE MCU!WANDA AND I DON'T BLAME YOU, YOUR REASONS ARE VERY VALID! But this is a good Halloween special so I'm putting it on my list In General.) • Boy Meets World 2x06 Who's Afraid of Cory Wolf? • Ghostbusters (2016) • Gravity Falls 1x12 Summerween • Leverage 4x02 Ten L'il Grifters Job • The Loud House 2x40 Tricked! • Mockingbird Lane 1x00 Unaired Pilot • It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! (Classic, etc.)

I'm SURE I'm forgetting some that I'll rewatch this year myself. I'm a big Halloween Baking Championship fan, tbh, which is on Discovery+ now so I recommend that if you like mostly-relaxing nice people baking cakes that look like bats and such.

I'm also IMMENSELY INTENSELY EXCITED for The Muppets' Haunted Mansion on Disney+ next week!!!

[s4rainbows]

The Berry Sweet Sapphics Legacy (SIMS 3)

This is for all my yearning sapphics who wanna play a colorful little legacy that is so sacchartine, it rots your teeth. Can also be played as mlm, although, well, look at my URL. The rules will be written with a wlw romance in mind. You need Generations, University, Seasons, Supernatural, World Adventures and Ambitions! Tag with #BSS, or @ me in your intro post so I can eyeball your gameplay! <3

General Rules: - Money cheats are allowed, just don’t overdo it, it tends to rob the fun from the game - Live anywhere, unless otherwise specified - Each generation has one or more traits that I will give you, the rest is up to you. - Your Wife’s career is up to you unless otherwise specified - You don’t have to play berry, you can just have the generational color as a general vibe - Cheating to have same sex pregnancy is ok, as well as adoption! - Roll a 6-sided die each generation to see how many kids you’ll have - You don’t have to max careers, but it’s a nice bonus if you do!

Generation 1: Nerdbians (Mint) “In a world full of people, only some want to fly. Ain’t that crazy?” (Think up Anger - Mutiny) Trait(s): Green Thumb, Genius Career: Scientist Goals: - Meet your wife in Uni, have her be in the Nerd social group - Max Logic, Gardening and Science - Have your wife work as a freelance Inventor once graduated Bonus Goal: - Have your wife build a Simbot and treat them like your own child! That simbot will count toward your offspring roll (+1 if you rolled a 1)

Generation 2: Be gay, do crime (Yellow) “Trust, my love, I’ll keep you safe from the wolves” (Boy Epic - Trust) Trait(s): Kleptomaniac, Rebellious Career: Criminal Goals: - Meet your wife at work! Pretend it’s a fire-forged romance, during a heist or something - Max Charisma and Street Art skills! - Be enemies with a Law Enforcement Sim Bonus Goal: - Befriend a Burglar that tried to rob you!

Generation 3: Happily Ever After (Cotton Candy) “I just wanna tell you that you’re really pretty, girl. I just wanna know if you will let me be your world?” (Hayley Kiyoko - Pretty Girl) Trait(s): Hopeless Romantic Career: Education Goals: - Meet your wife as a teenager and attend prom with her! - Max Charisma and Writing - Adopt a Dog! - If your Offspring roll is 3 or less, add one! Bonus Goal: - Go on a date or family outing to the seasonal festival every weekend!

Generation 4: Puppy Love (Purple) “Little Red Riding Hood, you sure are looking good. You’re everything Big Bad Wolf could want” (Amanda Seyfried - Little Red Riding Hood) Trait(s): Friendly, Daredevil Career: Collecting/Consignment Goals: - Meet your wife during a Full Moon and have her be a Werewolf! - Max Painting and Schulpting! - Adopt two Dogs and max Hunting on one of them! Your Wife needs a hunting buddy - If your Offspring roll is 3 or less, add one! - Pass Lycanthropy to your heir! Bonus Goal: - Max out your Wife’s Werewolf-ism and her Fitness!

Generation 5: You’re Magical (Midnight Blue) “Guide me to your shores, leave my ruins behind, show me the way to light” (Darkseed - Follow me) Trait(s): Animal Lover, Dog Person (haha get it?) Career: Gardener Goals: - Meet your wife at the Alchemy Store, and have her be a witch! - Max Fitness and Handiness! - Adopt a Cat this time! Your Wife needs her witchy familiar! - Have at least one minor pet! - Turn your heir into a witch! - If your offspring roll is 3 or less, regardless of your way of having kids, adopt a little girl in addition! Bonus Goal: - Be BFFs with your Wife’s cat!

Generation 6: Thirsty for Love (Red) “Fluttering lashes, red lips and pearly white teeth” (The Correspondents - Fear & Delight) Trait(s): Charismatic, Great Kisser Career: Alchemist Goals: - Meet your wife at a Club, have her be a Vampire! - Max Alchemy and Nectar Making! - Take your Honeymoon in France, and max out your Visa! - Be the only one your wife feeds from! - Do NOT Turn your heir, but all your spares! Bonus Goal: - Finish the French Relics Collection! Generation 7: You’re my “normal” (light blue) “Lay your head down on my shoulder, human anything but free” (Behind the Scenes - Human) Trait(s): Brooding, Proper, Shy Career: Journalist Goals: - Meet your wife at a park! - Max Fishing and Writing! - Adopt a Horse! It’s time to get ridin’ - Go on a date with your Wife once per week! - Buy a second property and build a cute little cabin there to get away from all the trouble every so often! Bonus Goal: - Have your Wife Max Riding and let her participate in races!

Generation 8: Young Love is sweet as can be (Green) “Follow me down to the river, drink while the water clean” (The Pretty Reckless - Follow me down) Trait(s): Workaholic, Easily Impressed Career: Business Goals: - Meet your wife as a child, and be on max relationship with her until the day you die - Max Cooking and Logic! - Never retire - Visit every destination world at least once. Your job pays well, yo - Make the child that has the most combined skill points once they turn into a teen your heir! - Buy out at least four businesses! Bonus Goal: - Have your wife be self employed, following her dreams while your work your office job Generation 9: My beating Heart (Black & White) “From the Darkness rises a Succubus, from the earthen rust” (Ghost BC - Ghuleh) Trait(s): Supernatural Fan, Bookworm Career: Fortune Teller Goals: - Meet your wife furing a full moon - When she’s a Zombie attacking your house! - Max Charisma and Mixology - Move to Moonlight Falls if you don’t already live there - Buy the Witches’ Brew Elixir fro the Consignment Store as soon as youre able and become a witch! - Have your wife be bitten/Turned into a Zombie each full moon. It’s her “time of the month”, I guess Bonus Goal: - Max your Witch skill and raise an undead arms, spearheaded by your wife!

Generation 10: Out of the Dark (Orange) “You know how it is, when you’re just waiting on that bad, bad moon to rise” (Hollywood Undead - Bad Moon) Trait(s): Brave, Active Career: Ghost Hunter Goals: - Meet your wife on the job, after saving her from a spooky invasion! - Max Guitar and Photography! - Max out your Visa for Egypt, time to beat up some Mummies! - Move out of Moonlight Falls once you become an Adult (Not YA!) - Don’t befriend any Supernaturals, you’ve had enough of that in your childhood Bonus Goal: - Cure one of each Supernatural Type and/or cure every Zombie you encounter during full moons!

[winchest09]

The Bunker Party - Sept Debrief

Hey my darlings! 

We promised you a bunker edition of our Bunker Party and man...we were not lying. We have SO much stuff to share with you, my little excited fingers cannot type fast enough. 

September’s Bunker Party was just amazing. It was so lovely to see so many new faces! My cheeks still ache from the laughs and it was so lovely to see so many of you sharing your love for all things Supernatural. Seriously, SPN does have THEE best fandom and I’m so glad to be a part of it.

6 and a half hours we were hanging out for…SIX AND A HALF! To see so many beautiful faces, hear so many lovely voices and to spend time with new people was just a dream! The support from you guys for each other, the love in this fandom; I can’t express how much I adore it.

Me and @katehuntington​​ love holding these events and we are already planning the next live stream (date to be announced) but it will be in October and my even hold a spooky theme...

So…to the debrief!

Below you will find: 

Everyone who joined - their tags, what’s coming up fic wise and their masterlist.

Announcements, News and links to Patreons!

Challenges to join - we have five! 

Blogs who want to help with your writing

Graphics and Icons

Fic & blog recs

So without further ado… *cracks fingers*

You are the guys that make it the live stream what it is, and we can never thank you enough. So below is a list of everyone who was on the chat yesterday accompanied by their masterlist and a little blurb of what they have coming up soon! For your reading pleasure and in no particular order… 

@katehuntington​​: The new chapter of Ride with Me is out NOW and she is currently working on the next instalment. The Sullivan Series is now scheduled to be posted every FRIDAY and if she can, she’s posting twice a week! So keep your eyes peeled for that and she is going to be finishing All I Want soon too!

She is also hosting a challenge that you can find out about below!

Her masterlist can be found HERE

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@talesmaniac89​​:  This beaut has been working a lot on editing images lately, making aesthetics and dividers for everyone to use! More on that further down. Besides that, she has a new chapter of The Man in Apartment 43 coming out. The next chapter of Missing in Action as well as the next one of Lost.

She also is working on another two AU series that are top secret at the moment...watch this space ;)

Check her out guys, her masterlist is HERE

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@waywardbeanie​​: Shelli has come so far in the matter of a few months. From being a reader to now a series writer! This absolute gem of a woman is working on her very first fanfiction called “A Man Of Letters” and it’s an absolute DIAMOND. Dean. Letters. Fluff. Smut. It’s gonna tick all them boxes and it’s a must read!

She is now ALSO working on her second series, Life on Tour, an RPF Jensen x reader going live on October 1st! Find the announcement and her AMAZING tour video...HERE

Call my a fangirl, cause I am THERE. 

You can find her masterlist HERE

--

@smol-and-grumpy​​: Nat has such a juicy masterlist. She is a few chapters away from finishing Euphoria and has already announced her next series Golden Cage! 

She is also hosting a challenge at the moment that you can find out about below. 

You can find her masterlist HERE

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@atc74​​: We were thrilled to see Ang on our livestream. She has just celebrated four years on tumblr and she has such an extensive masterlist of goodies!

As you may have seen, she’s currently rewriting Souls to Souls as well as a new idea that she’s cooking up. Watch this space! 

She is also hosting a challenge at the moment that you can find out about below.

Her masterlist can be found HERE

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@whatareyousearchingfordean​​: Alex is nailing it at the moment with her fictions. She’s currently posting Happiness Continued (the sequel to Happiness Begins) and she’s posted some delicious new oneshots since we last saw her. She also has other idea’s that she is working on so keep your eye on her blog if you’re not already ;) 

Her masterlist can be found HERE

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@flamencodiva​​: Vanessa is currently reposting her works back onto a new blog that she has created. She is posting Getting Back to You at the moment, as well as some of her old oneshots. I also know, thanks to some little birds, that she has some AMAZING new series just waiting to see the light of tumblr...you’re not gonna be disappointed. 

Check out her masterlist HERE

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@superfanficnatural​​:  Mert has took some time away from the writing world but nothing could keep him from showing his fantastic self on our livestream. He’s slowly getting back into his writing thanks to much encouragement ;) and is chipping away at the next add for his series The Choice. 

He has some other series in the works, a couple of collaborations that he’s got under his belt too...

We’re living for it!

Go and give him some love, his masterlist can be found HERE

--

@deanwanddamons​​: Sian is an absolute sweetheart and is working on a few things at the moment. She recently completed her reblog challenge for August where you can find a DELIGHTFUL masterlist HERE. 

Aside from that, she’s got three WIPS and I know of some oneshots AND a new series she’s cooking up. OH, I am excited!  

Her masterlist can be found HERE

--

@jensengirl83​​: Brandy is an absolute doll and we adore her. She is still relatively new to SPN fanfic but that doesn’t stop her from dominating it! She has over twenty oneshots under her belt already!  

Not ONLY that, she is now over twenty chapters deep into her FIRST SPN Dean fanfiction, Regret and Redemption. Although, only seven chapters have graced your dashboard ;) 

She has more up her southern sleeve though so watch this space! 

You can find her masterlist HERE

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@malfoysqueen14​​: Angel is still new to the supernatural fandom but that doesn’t stop her putting her hand to fanfic and being the sweetheart that she is! 

Her first fic, White Flag, is being reworked into a reader insert and she is also working on another Dean x reader series. Beginning of the End! 

She also writes for other fandoms. 

You can find her masterlist HERE

--

@soaringeag1e​​: We adore Meg and her extensive list of spn fanfiction! There is so much for you to feast your eyeballs on. 

She is currently working on her series Escape and we have been treated to hearing about her new series, Behind Closed Doors. 

It’ll be an AU. There will be crossed universes and it has a twist that’s super juicy. Get yourself signed up if you’re not already! 

You can find her masterlist HERE

--

@alleiradayne​​: Jeanna is such a sweetheart and we absolutely adored having her on our livestream! As we mentioned last time, she had been commissioned to write a SPN fanfic piece for a charity auction (details below) and she told us all about it on the stream! 

If you like destiel, she is writing a Destiel fanfiction called Long Jacket which has a take that we’ve not heard of before. 

She is also writing a new series which is going to be quote long apparently! Like 60 chapters! But we are SO there for it.

You can find her masterlist HERE:

--

@emoryhemsworth​​: This beaut has broken her lil hiatus and posted the sequel to Because of You. Piece by Piece is amazing and if you haven’t read it yet, i suggest you check it out. She’s also writing her first chapter of her series called “Losing Sleep” as well as a TWD crossover fic!

She also has got ideas for a sequel to her fic Wonder Woman and a oneshot based on “Raining on Sunday” by Keith Urban.

Check our her masterlist HERE:

--

@manawhaat​​: This babe joined us once again and we loved having her, even if it wasn’t for long. Below you can find her humongous masterlist of goodies for your reading pleasure. 

You can find her masterlist HERE

--

@anathewierdo​​: Ana is such a darling and we always love having her on the streams. She’s currently reposting her fic Call of the Ocean which is a collaboration with Flamencodiva. Not only that, she’s also working on a Princess Diaries AU, a Serial Killer AU and many more!

You can find her masterlist HERE

--

@deanmonandnegansbitch​​: Yas was new to our stream this time around and we ADORED having her. She has quite a bit on her masterlist already and she is currently working on her current series, Tuyo! 

Check it out and give her some love. 

You can find her masterlist HERE

--

@impala-1979​​: Lauren was another newbie for our stream this time and again, we loved having her on here! At the moment, she has a Sam series in the works which is an Insane Asylum!AU as well as an RPF called Nymphomania. 

She is also in the middle of a pornstar A/B/O AU with JDM! 

She also has many, many more goodies on offer! 

You can find her masterlist HERE

--

@defenderrosetyler​​: Ali was new to our stream and we were so glad she chose to spend some time with us. She currently has a couple of oneshots available on her masterlist for both Sam and Dean! 

Judging from some of our topics of conversation last night, she also has some amazing idea’s coming your way soon. Definitely one to keep an eye out for! She’s a total sweetheart too! 

You can find her masterlist HERE

--

@thinkinghardhardlythinking​​: Saira was also new this time to our stream and we were so excited to meet her. She’s a new writer and is new to tumblr but she’s already written a couple of pieces to share with everyone! 

She’s such a sweetheart. She’s wrote two oneshots to cheer up the fans who are struggling with the show ending...you can find the Dean one HERE and the Sam oneshot HERE. 

Also, upon hearing that a fellow member of the SPN fandom was in hospital, she wrote this piece HERE. 

Please show her some love and support <3

--

@that-one-gay-girl​​: This was the first time we met Sydney and she’s such a lovely person. We’re so grateful she joined us and talked to us about all things Supernatural. She’s a fairly new writer and has yet to create a masterlist but that hasn’t stopped her from writing her series “Gone”

It’s dean x reader and definitely one to keep your eye on! 

You can find Chapter One HERE

--

Me: The latest chapter of Life for Rent is out NOW and I’m currently working on the next one, which i’m half way through. Only four more before that series is completed.  I’m also working on Man’s Best Friend as well as a brand NEW series which will be posted once one series is finished. I also have a couple of Dean oneshots I’m working on right now.

My masterlist can be found HERE:

--

To the upcoming writers & readers…

@leissa1287​​, @winchesterxfamilybusiness​​, @dawnie1988​​, @jules-1999​​, @adoptdontshoppets​​, @gothicwombat42​​ & the few nonnies we had!

We were treated to hear about some of your upcoming plans for fictions. 

Dawnie: Signing up for Sabrina’s challenge and taking that leap to write. If you need us, you know where we are for idea bouncing and everything else. 

Sabrina: Again, we’re here for you hun. Your series idea sounds wonderful and if you need help, you know where we are. 

Jules: Same goes for you hun, your series idea is one we’ve not heard of before and we were all hooked once you explained it. Reach out if you need us, we’ll do whatever we can to help. 

Also, to upcoming writers and readers, we want to thank you for your constant support, your feedback, your words, your reactions to what we write. Your likes, your reblogs, your asks. We appreciate every single thing you do. So thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We love you.

Also, remember guys - we’re all here to love and support you! My inbox is always open if you want to talk about anything and everything. Even if you wish to start writing…give any of us a shout. We’re here to help!

Thank you for joining the chat and we hope you had an amazing time <3

Please spread the love and show your support to all of these amazing people, go follow and give them some love!

We’ve got quite a few goodies this time! 

We want to bring to everyone’s attention once again, the wonderful organisation that is Ficfasers, an international fundraising group of authors and artists who love Supernatural. They offer thank yous to people who agree to donate to Random Acts by creating stories/art, crafts, and more for winning bidders and ticket buyers!

Again, this is amazing and it’s something that so many of us can get involved in. We’ve been told an event is coming up around the holiday period so watch this space! 

Want to write for Charity?

Check out their tumblr HERE

and their website HERE

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Follower achievements!

Join me in congratulating these amazing blogs as they have surpassed or are close to a follower milestone!

First of all, we have two Blogiversary’s! 

@smol-and-grumpy​​ has just celebrated an anniversary on tumblr, you may have entered her challenge, check her out if you haven’t already!

@atc74​​ is celebrating FOUR years on tumblr! How amazing is that?! If you’re not following, check her out! 

Next up...

@atc74​​ has hit 4500 followers!  @waywardbeanie​​ has just passed 250 followers!     

@whatareyousearchingfordean​​ has hit 1300!

@superfanficnatural​​ has passed 600 followers!

@malfoysqueen14​​ has passed 200!

@janicho88​​ has passed her first 100!

@soaringeag1e​​ has passed 6000 followers!

@jensengirl83​​ has hit 550 and is now on her way to 600! 

Congratulations guys!

If you’re not following them already, head on over and show them your support!

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Want to be the first to read new chapters of your favourite fics?

Some of our fabulous livestream participants have Patreon!

For a small fee a month, you get personalised drabbles, oneshots and MORE as well as first dibs on new chapters before ANYONE else! Please consider giving them your support.

The links for each authors Patreon is below:

@smol-and-grumpy​​ - Find hers HERE

@flamencodiva​ - Find hers HERE

@soaringeag1e​​ - Find hers HERE

@impala-1979​ - Find hers HERE

Oh, IT’S CHALLENGE TIME. This month, we have FIVE challenges for you to get involved in!

First of all, we have our FIRST Christmas themed challenge! Yes, the holiday season is fast approaching so to celebrate 100 followers @janicho88​​ is hosting a Christmas Song challenge!

Check it out, HERE

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Secondly, we have @smol-and-grumpy​​‘s  SUPERFRIENDS Title Challenge! She loves Friends, she loves Supernatural so why not combine both?  Nat has given you fic titles inspired by both SPN and Friends - you just write the one shot that goes with it!

The One Where You Enter The Challenge...HERE  

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Thirdly, we have @katehuntington​​‘s Going Dutch challenge. Aside from horses and writing, her other passion is music! So she’s gathered Dutch Artists and all you need to do is write a fic/request a fic tied with a song! This is open till February so you have plenty of time. 

Check it out, HERE

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Fourthly, we have @atc74​​‘s blog celebratory challenge which is so unique and wonderful for you guys! 

You can win a chance to collab with seasoned writers, included Ang herself and all you have to do, is to enter and write your fic! There are 30 prompts available, write your oneshot to a prompt which will then be judged by impartial judges.

3 - 5 readers will win a chapter in the collaboration series!

Runners up will win a beta to a oneshot. 

Take a look and enter the challenge, HERE

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Last, but certainly not least, we have @winchesterxfamilybusiness​​‘s Make Me Swoon Challenge!

It’s exactly what it says on the tin, make Sabrina swoon! She has listed what she likes paired with a long list of prompts for you to choose from. There is still spots open. 

Check it out, HERE

We’ve got you covered for numerous things if you need help with your fictions! 

Need a graphic? Header, banner, divider? 

Our gorgeous @talesmaniac89​​ is available to create whatever you would like! She’s the creator behind our banners for this post and numerous other masterlist across the board. Give her a message! 

 WWII and horse Knowledge?

@katehuntington​​ is your girl! She’s a little history buff and as you will know, thanks to Ride with Me, she ADORES her horses. Give her a message, she’ll be happy to help! 

Struggling with some smut?

@superfanficnatural​​ has offered his services to be the person you can go to if you need to hash out certain words, feelings and perspective. He is the perfect person to give you an insight to the male POV when it comes to sex so if you’re writing Destiel or a chapter from the guys POV, Mert is there to help!

Need help finding that one gif?

@emoryhemsworth​​ is your go to girl! Seriously, you tell her you want a gif of Dean in a specific place, wearing a certain outfit, she will find it for you in no time at all. She’s a diamond as she’ll also credit the creators! 

Struggling to find that one word? Or even a title?

@atc74​​ is your guru! She is perfect for getting you unstuck and if you’re struggling with a title, she can also help on this front! I always struggle with a title, and a summary so I know i’ll definitely be hitting Ang up if i get stuck!

Theme? Plotting? Symbolism? Dialogue?

@alleiradayne​​ is your babe! She has a passion for writing, for plot and for making fictions be like no other. She loves dialogue, and from what i’ve heard, she loves a good twist too! I know she’ll be there to support you so send her a message if you need help!

Lost a fic? Need help to find it again?

@spnfic-search-blog​​ is the blog to go too! Send an ask and they will dedicate their time to try and find it for you! 

Need a new aesthetic? Line divider? We got you! Our fabulously talented @talesmaniac89​​ has drawn up so MANY supernatural themed line breakers, headers and more for your free usage!

Just look at some of these!

She has a few posts full already!

We’re talking dividers, headers, banners, gifs and icons! 

Check them out HERE!

Give them a like, a reblog and please THANK HER if you use her work. She’s the most kind hearted, loving soul and a few words go a long way <3

Blog Recs!

@just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms​​​: Ana is an amazingly talented writer and has always been willing to listen when others need an ear. She’s extremely supportive, has an extensive masterlist and is a mental health warrior!  Since she hasn't been around for a couple years, she will have "fresh content" for new readers looking for good fics. 

@spnfic-search-blog​​: As mentioned before, this is the blog to follow and go to if you’re in need of a certain fic. It’s also a good place to find new ones and share the love! 

@heloisedaphnebrightmore​​:  She doesn’t fear stepping out of spn tropes and it is something that she does so well. There isn’t much on her masterlist but we love every piece of it.

@fictionalabyss​: This blog was mentioned on our livestream yesterday as they have an array of Supernatural fanfiction! Take a look at her masterlist and see for yourself! Be warned, you’ll be there for ages as she has that much stuff!

Fic Recs!

I Hurt Too by @jawritter​​

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary:  (Request) I have seen loads of fics and one shots where Dean is sleeping around/having a one night stand and the reader gets jealous and upset, but I was wondering if I could request one with the other way around? or maybe one where they sleep around equally? as smutty, fluffy, or angst as you want!!

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Missing Pieces by @supernatural-fangirl1967​​

Pairing: Nurse!Deanx Reader

Summary: (Request)  Could you maybe do some nurse Dean with some angsty hurt/comfort with a fluffy ending?

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Upon a hill by @roonyxx​​

Pairing: Teen!Dean x Plus!sized Reader

Summary:  What happens when the new hot guy, Dean Winchester, show interest in you?

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Twenty Minutes by @chocolateheart​​

Pairing:  Professor!Dean x Reader

Summary: Online school sucks but your professor is worth the torture.

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Stranger by @msmarvelouswinchester​​

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary:  Not all decisions a person takes proves to be alright. Some have grave consequences. Dean had taken a decision at the heat of the moment which he thought would prove to be alright, but what happens when he has to bear the brunt of his stupid decision?

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Love in Sin by @msmarvelouswinchester​

Pairing: AU Detective!Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary:   Special Agent Winchester is forced to go undercover with his frenemy Special Agent L/N when they try to track down a notorious drug dealer. How will Y/N and Dean complete their task? Will their relationship worsen or will new feelings emerge between them?

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When the lights go out by @jawritter​​

Pairing: Mobster!Dean Winchester x Virgin! Reader

Summary:  Life hasn’t been your best friend lately, you lost your job, and are on the verge of losing your apartment. Who knew when you decided to join a Sugar Daddy app that your best friend suggested in a last-ditch effort to save your apartment, and not end up on the street, your first and only client would turn your whole world upside down.

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Tic Tac Toe by @percywinchester27​​

Pairing:  Sam X Reader

Summary:  The reader shifts into a new city after being offered a dream job by a big firm. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect after an ugly break-up with a douche-bag Ex. But things turn out not as dreamy as she’d want them to be and the only thing that keeps her smiling is a totally coincidental game of Tic Tac Toe.

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The Queens Court by @waywardnerd67​​

Pairing:  Dean x Reader / Sam x Reader / Castiel x Reader

Summary:  She met them under unusual circumstances and offered them the only thing she could. Building relationships with three men was nothing new but then again they were no ordinary men. (Y/N) finds herself at a crossroads between the safety of her business and her heart. Will she be able to keep the life she has built for herself or leap into the unknown following her heart’s true desire.

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Stroke of luck by @percywinchester27​​

Pairing:  Dean X Reader

Summary:  Dark highway, middle of the night, a bad boy driving an Impala, and a Damsel in distress. Too cliche? Think again.

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A lot like us by @percywinchester27​​

Pairing: Lawyer!Professor!Sam X Reader AU

Summary: Y/N Y/L/N is eager and honestly, still in awe that she managed to get herself an acceptance from Stanford Law School. On the face of it, her life seems as put together, mysterious and independent as one might hope for. On the insides, she carries the burden of past that haunts her till date. Seemingly, she’d left it all behind; that is until she sets foot in the class of the Law School’s youngest, most promising professor.

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About a boy by @percywinchester27​​

Pairing: N/A

Summary:  Dean Winchester has a secret. A secret that could really land him in trouble. He never expected to connect with anyone when he walked into the ‘Blue Stone Orphanage for Boys,’ but even then, the walls he had put up are slowly coming down. Now, a series of strange events are threatening to expose him. When everything starts falling apart around him, will he still be able to save the one person that matters the most?

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Erós by @our-jensen-ackles-love​​

Pairing: Professor!Dean x Reader

Summary:  An accidental text to your Professor got you into this mess. Now you just had to decide if you wanted to stick along for the ride or go on pretending like it never happened. But why does he have to look at you like that?

---

Diamonds & Shutters by @jayankles​

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Summary:  College!AU. Jensen is a baseball player and (Y/N) is a photographer, they are best friends and roommates until someone in Jensen’s life leaves him disconsolate and anguished but (Y/N)’s secret stops her from immediately mending Jensen’s broken heart.

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Out of the park by @iwantthedean​

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Summary:  Can you take a chance and make a lifetime dream come true? Can Jensen stop fighting against the path his life is taking? Will leaning on each other lead to relationship neither of you wanted or planned on?

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Bad Days by @peridottea91​

Pairing:  DeanxUnnamed!female, Sam mentioned

Summary:  Sam and Dean return from a hunt gone wrong. Sometimes it’s okay to let someone see you hurt.

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Coming Home by @soaringeag1e​

Pairing:  Jensen x Reader

Summary: (Request)  Hiya, I’m in love with your blog, and if you are taking requests I was wondering if you could do a Jensen X reader where reader is Jareds big sister but also in the military and surprises the boys at a con

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If it was to work by @deangirl93​

Pairing: Dean X Reader

Summary:  Dean gave Sam some great advice. Sam just wishes he’d take his own advice sometimes.They had a lot on their plate with their Chuck situation, but that doesn’t mean they can’t take on an old-fashion, black and white case. That also doesn’t mean they can’t go out and celebrate a job well done afterwards.Walking into that bar and seeing you was the last thing Dean thought was going to happen.Maybe Sam’s right. Maybe he should listen to his own advice.

---

Cabin Fever by @slytherkins​

Pairing:  Dean x OFC

Summary:  After a hunting accident takes Dean out of the hunting game for good, he retires to a cottage in the woods with his one true love, but it’s not exactly a fairy tale ending. Pain and disability chip away at his Happily Ever After–and his sanity. After he fails to protect Chloe from a monster out of the woods, Dean falls prey to the monsters in his own head, and she and Sam must come to his rescue.

---

Coming of Age by @poisongirl18​

Pairing:  Dean X Stripper!Reader

Summary:  You, Bobby Singer’s daughter, met the Winchester boys at age 8. They always adored you and treated you like the baby sister they always wanted, but you always wanted more from the oldest Winchester brother. Now that you were of age, you thought now was the time to take what you wanted.

---

Let Me Go To The Show by @poisongirl18​

Pairing:  Step-Dad!Dean X Reader

Summary:  The reader wants nothing more than to see her favorite band, but her mother won’t let her go. What happens when Dean steps in and persuades the reader’s mother into letting you go. What do you have to give in return?

---

Trust you with my heart by @deanwinchesterswitch​

Pairing:  Dean x Fem!Reader insert

Summary: Can Y/N finally let go of the past and entrust her heart to Dean?

Other fandom Recs!

Red Queen Chronicles by @crashdevlin​​

Pairing:  Phil Coulson x OFC (Past), Loki x OFC (Non-con), Clint Barton x OFC, Steve Rogers x OFC

Summary:  Cassie Campbell is Red Skull’s daughter, created in a lab. She’s also a Stark Tech lab assistance, a college student, a superhuman, an Avenger and a devout Christian. That’s enough to juggle, even without the ever-looming influence of Loki’s dark interest in her.

————————-

I think that’s it!

Thank you so much once again to everyone who joined the chat, we had 6 and a half hours of laughs and i cannot wait to do it again. I’d appreciate it if you could share this to spread the love of the fics and authors on here!

Keep an eye out for the next date for our next livestream! It will be in October. If you guys have any idea’s or want something included, let us know. If you want to be tagged when we announce, let us know!

See you next time!

xox

[ficletfan]

Hello! I'm really enjoying your imagines! If it isn't much trouble, could I ask for Miranda and the coven (poly) with a good old fem!human s/o that doesn't know anything about the world of monsters and is just startruck by every little thing their world has?

✨I got super excited over this one, it gave me so many ideas while listening to music! Warning this will be a long one! ✨

Fem!Human S/O discovering the monster world:

Miranda:

- You were exploring the "cursed" forest of your hometown, discovering a well

- This well seemed to have something in it, you wanted to investigate so the next time you came you brought a telescope and a light to see into the deep well

- inside it was dark and swampy, a pair of golden eyes look at you before the well pulls you in

- You ended up popping out of a similar well in monstropolis, confused and ugh... A little slimy

- the police caught you "skipping school", let you off with a warning and dropped you off at spooky high

-Well shit

- there are monsters... Everywhere, your curious mind is starstruck! So many legs so many colors this is so cool!!

- you grit your teeth and pick a random class to attend

- you pick theatre, taking a costume from the back to fit in- some armor with LEDS.. You look like spooky armor so cool!!

- since you're already armored you'll be the stand in knight for this rehearsal... A fish girl is the princess and she is so, so pretty!

- shes good at her role and you sit with her after the show, she keeps saying her name and the Vanderbilts... Like you should know who that is

- Since Miranda is the only person you know, you keep the fake glowing armor on and join her for lunch

- She makes sense now, you asked one of her serfs who she was and they made a big deal of you not knowing she was a princess "wait you're a real princess, not just in the play??"

- lunch passes as she explains the details of her heritage, your eyes starry as you listen intently

- Although the next class was the worst, GYM, all the physical activity was hell under the armor and the gym clothes they provided over that

- You got decked in the face by a dodge ball, why does it hurt so bad??? Also a human in spooky high??? What a twist!

- then Mirandas guards kidnap you 👀 She wants that armor off and she wants to know absolutely everything about how someone as rare as a human got to monstropolis! Shes just as excited as you are!

- Since then you were enrolled in a controversial "culture exchange program" as the only nonmagical and full blood human in spooky high

- Miranda stayed as your friend, you both sharing info about each of your worlds until you eventually started dating

-Now shes got to find a way to get you to visit the merkingdom without dying so you can see all the things shes told you about

Poly Coven:

- You got kidnapped in your sleep by a pair of imps, flown through the sky suspended by chains attached to your legs, of course you're screaming

- Their surprise is easy to see when the big bad of the seasons plan is revealed... By the imps dragging you in by your ankles, the plan was to sacrifice a magically untouched female human to complete a ritual

- of course you've never preformed magic nor seen a monster, you're just a fantasy fan!! You're upside down and terrified

- The coven saves the day by defeating the demon Lord of the 3rd circle, his servants who tried to fly away with you and freeing you from your shackles

- You're shaking, from the wild ride and embraced by Joy "You're going to be okay, we won't let them hurt you again"

- At first when they take you back to the coven house you're interested in the magic but afraid of monsters which is unfortunate given not all of them are bad

- Faith treats the cuts on your ankles with an herbal remedy and bandages while hope sees if any of their spare clothes could replace your dirt coated and torn Pajamas

- you get into deep conversation with Faith about witches, the balance of 3 and the world of monsters

- "Just like your world, there are good and bad people, That demon was very evil but uhh, theres this werewolf who wouldn't hurt a fly at our school"

- They keep you in coven house for a while to teach you a few things and show you that monsters aren't all bad, this lets your wounds heal and keeps you from telling humans that monsters are evil beasts

- months pass and not only are you lovingly nose deep in history books of monster kind but you've got legitimately the gayest crush on those witches

- Tutoring you, being your friends its overwhelming how nice they are, hope even taught you some defensive magic! (She wasn't supposed to though)

- You're captivated by them and their lessons- You're also childish "Oh what is that? What's that?" Its like You can't learn enough ever

-Soon you also learn norms from your world don't apply in the monster world... You wanna be gay? Go ahead, you wanna have 3 girlfriends?! DONE

- Its less controversial when you get added to the school, your soul is tainted by magic and the coven is backing you closely

- Sometimes you're still scared of larger monsters or ones that are too in your face but you can just hide behind your girlfriends

[siren1song]

Southern Caribbean

Summary: Pirate captain Virgil has a very big soft spot for the chaotic prince they'd brought aboard and made one of their own.

Warnings: Mentions of murder, mentions of guns, idle threats

Pairing: Dukexiety

Word Count: 1,682

General Taglist: @acanvasofabillionsuns, @emo-disaster, @greenninjagal-blog, @jungle321jungle, @sleepy-sides, @gattonero17, @another-sandersidesblog, @strawberryjellystuff, @logic-with-a-pinch-of-deceit, @gr3ml1n-loser, @main-chive, @firey-alex, @orca-iguana, @spooky-scary-virgil, @yalltookmyurlideas, @sanderssidesweirdo, @stormypaint, @just-a-little-bit-gay-oops, @dying-is-a-hobby, @the-angry-ship, @rosesisupposes, @just-perhaps

Notes: Day 3 of @dukexietyweek Pirates!!! So naturally I wrote Pirate captain Virgil and incredibly chaotic prince Remus.

Commissions!! | Buy Me a Kofi!! | Join Casper’s Crew!! | Ao3 Link!!

If you told Virgil a month ago he’d be the captain of the first crew with a pirate prince, he would’ve laughed in your face before running you through.

As it was, Remus was definitely an interesting type of pirate. Originally captured in hopes of holding him for ransom, the man was more excited about meeting pirates face to face than worried about getting back to his family.

Which was a whole other story, but honestly watching Remus rip off his skirts and declare himself a man right there on the deck after somehow nicking the sword off Pryce’s hip was the best show Virgil had seen in a long while (less for the indecency of a perceived woman and more for the hilarity of a man shocking one of the best pirate crews in the southern seas into silence).

“Let me be a pirate,” he’d proclaimed, “let me join your crew and help you cause so much chaos you’ll be not only the best pirates in the south but everywhere else as well.”

Who was Virgil to deny that offer?

And now they were raiding a small village on the coast of an island they’d just been planning on to hunt on until Remus expressed his desire for his first time doing something more dangerous than embroidering a table cloth.

He was so cute in his excitement, how could Virgil resist?

Watching the tiny man run off with a cutlass that Virgil wasn’t too entirely sure was balanced right for him and a gun strapped to his hip in case he needed it was grin worthy.

“You have a soft spot for him,” Dale commented, earning a glare from his captain.

“And you have a reason for staying on deck instead of stocking us up on spirits and food and gold?”

Dale grinned at him, pointing at the rest of the crew having already taken both the smaller boats and thus leaving him behind.

Oh great, being babysat by his lookout.

“Why you lot insist on leaving someone behind to look after me every raid I’ll never understand.”

“Really? You won’t understand when the last time we left you alone you decided to binge yourself on most of the dried meat on the ship?”

Virgil glared at Dale again before deciding watching the shore to try and see if he could find Remus amongst the chaos his crew had already started.

“There’s another entire half the crew still here Dale.”

“Yes, but most of them don’t know how to stand their ground against you. Some think the bags under your eyes are from black magic and not the lack of sleeping the rest of us know it is.”

“Every raid you make it more tempting to shoot you.”

Dale snorted, thumping Virgil on the back and making him let out a small ‘oof’ sound and hide a small smile.

As he watched the shore, he heard yelling, which was pretty normal for a raid, but the loud clear laughter wasn’t really something he was used to.

“Didn’t think Remus laughed loud enough to be heard over a raid on the shore,” he commented idly, tapping his fingers against the wooden railing he was leaning against.

“He has a laugh loud enough to wake the dead at the bottom of the sea, I think.”

Virgil’s smile grew at the thought. That sounded about right, with the amount of times Virgil heard Remus giggling while playing games with the rest of the crew  when they were up keeping the ship from sinking.

Maybe he did have a soft spot for the man, but he doubted he could be blamed when Remus had done nothing but grin the entire time.

Besides, he’d kept his promise and told him many things about coastline royal schedules that made conquering other seas that much easier.

“Hope you’re not thinking your soft spot for the man isn’t just because of the power over the seas he’s given you?” Dale asked, not looking at Virgil now but at the shore where the villagers were trying to defend themselves.

Virgil suspected, with the chaos he could see Remus inflicting, that very few residents would be left when they were done.

“Should I pull out my gun now, Dale?” he asked, not really meaning the threat but making it anyway because what kind of captain would he be if didn’t threaten his crew on occasion?

Another snort from his lookout.

“You wouldn’t dare. I’m gonna head below deck for a bit now though. Gotta sharpen my cutlass and my room is right next to the kitchens so you can’t sneak by without my seeing you.”

Virgil sighed, waving Dale off as he walked away.

The dedication that man had to the upkeep of his sword when the ability to get new ones was just as easy was a bizarre one but Virgil could respect it.

“That was exhilarating!” Remus shouted, now back on board and startling Virgil from staring at the stars to looking at him in his pants and now tattered shirt that showed his chest bindings.

The thumping in his chest and the smile Virgil couldn’t help at seeing Remus’ excitement was almost enough to make him think Dale was right about his soft spot for their prince pirate.

“I trust you had fun then?” he called down, having been a level higher then the deck his crew was climbing back onto.

Remus whipped around and grinned up at Virgil, eyes bright in the starlight and chest heaving to take enough breaths.

“I killed people!”

Virgil let out a bark of a laugh at the enthusiasm, ignoring the little looks some of his crew was giving him.

“You better have! I doubt you could’ve gotten out of there alive if you hadn’t, prince.”

Remus’ face screwed up at that, sticking his tongue out at Virgil, earning another laugh from the captain.

“C’mon up here, let me take a look at you and we can discuss your pirate name, now that you’ve made yourself a bit more known as a part of my crew.”

The way Remus’ face lit up made Virgil’s heart twist in his chest, but he ignored it in favor of waving the man up and stepping into his own quarters to grab the first aid he knew how to do.

Usually Teagan and Logan were the ones to see to injuries. They were the most medically inclined, but Virgil picked up a thing or two in his years of pirating.

“A lady alone in your room with you could start a scandal, captain,” Remus said, making himself known.

“Well then, it’s a good thing you’re not a lady, or that I don’t care for scandals. Have a seat on the cot.”

Remus did so, fiddling with a ragged piece of his shirt and looking around the room in what looked like either curiosity or nerves to Virgil when he looked over.

“Drink this,” he said, handling Remus a glass of whiskey he’d just poured before pulling his medical supplies closer to him.

The prince pirate downed the entire glass, only wincing just a little bit. A month has given the man a bit of time to get used to the harshness of alcohol going down his throat, Virgil supposed.

“Alright, any spots in particular that hurt? And don’t tell me you feel fine. I doubt you got out of that unscathed, almost no one does.”

Remus grinned at him and slipped off his tattered shirt to show the cuts and bruises he’d acquired, making Virgil snort a bit.

There were cuts he could already see through the holes, but there was also a nasty bruise forming on Remus’ side, likely from someone swinging a club type weapon at him.

“You look like you had fun,” he commented, getting started with cleaning the dirt and sweat around the cuts first.

“I did! I’ve also been thinking about my pirate name. I think Pirate Duke Remus has a great ring to it, don’t you?”

Virgil paused, raising an eyebrow at Remus before letting out a quiet snort.

“I have to agree, suppose if someone asks you who you are, you know what to say then.”

“I do! I’m Duke Remus of the Storm Crew, damn that sounds great.”

Virgil let Remus ramble from there, cleaning up his wounds and patching what he could with a small smile while the man told stories of how he wanted to be known. It wasn’t until Remus paused that he looked at his face in curiosity and concern that he noticed the way Remus was staring at him now.

“Is there something wrong?”

“You’re the first man to treat me as a man myself. And you readily accepted me, even if ransoming me would’ve gotten you more money.”

Leaning back on the stool Virgil was sitting on, he watched Remus a little more closely.

“My crew started as one of outcasts. Didn’t feel right not to take in another,” he explained, tilting his head a little to the left while he watched Remus consider him.

“And now? I feel there’s more to it than that, captain.”

Virgil hummed, then decided fuck it and tilted Remus’ head up by his chin with his free hand and placed a short kiss to his lips.

The silence that followed made nerves coil in Virgil’s stomach, but he ignored them in favor of speaking further.

“You’ve definitely endeared yourself to me. I understand if that’s not something you want though, knowing me only a month and all. And you don’t even have to answer right away, given I’m not sure if I’m asking to court you-”

Remus interrupted him by pulling him in for another kiss, making it feel like the kraken he hadn’t realized was there was releasing it’s grip on Virgil’s chest.

“You talk to much when there’s kissing to be done, captain,” Remus said, grinning mischievously in a way that only made Virgil wanna kiss him again.

“You’re a problem member aren’t you, Duke?”

“It’s always been my dream to be one, captain.”

[theveryworstthing]

More Spooky.

Mixing the spooky prompts of  'gay vampires' and 'all dressed up for a spooky soriee'  again.

This is Salt. She's pretty good a putting people back together, is full of leeches, has a dark sense of humor, and is very short. She's also as gay as a hermaphroditic leech person who mostly uses she/her for convenience but has no strong feelings about gender can be.  

She grew up around pit fighters and eventually became a medic when her own career didn't work out (her eyes were always wonky but then she had to grow a few back after That Fight and yeesh). When the pits got shut down one of the older medics decided to put an actual practice together and hit the road, taking Salt and a few other favorites with. Eventually they got pretty successful and opened a lot of non-human friendly hospitals.  She's currently attending a 'children of the night' themed benefit sponsored by Cashmere's company as a representative since her boss couldn't make it.

Here's a bunch of lore about the kind of vampire she is because of course I wrote some:

Hirudo Vampires

What are they: A race of Mermaids. Mermaids that are essentially a sack full of leeches, but yeah. Mermaids.

How they’re made: They’re born like any other mermaid. Weird humanoid monotreme lays an egg and after a bit you get a Child. Infants look like regular baby mermaids with kind of sluggy tails and can be confused with nudibranch juveniles if they’re gifted with brighter colors. They’re initially fed milk and invertebrates like worms and slugs by their parents but quickly move on to blood once their cravings start and they begin releasing leeches.

Turning: They can’t turn people. They can turn leeches but they rarely do because usually more than enough leeches naturally sprout from their innards and outside leeches that aren’t from another hirudo are a quick fix that will eventually be rejected by their bodies and need to be replaced.

Feeding: Their favorite method is anchoring their tails to something in a body of water, releasing their leeches, and just floating there until they return. When the leeches come back they swim into the hirudo’s body and plug themselves back into the digestive tract where they empty themselves over time. When the last leech runs out it’s time to go hunting again.

When not feeding they fill the inner cavity of their body with water for the leeches. Chemicals in this inner cavity thicken the water into a loose slime and when feeding all that Leech Slime gets released so that they take on more of a flesh suit aesthetic. A view of this feeding form is rare however, as hirudo hide while feeding and only have to feed this way once every few months if most of their leeches are successful hunters.  If they’re not so successful or they can’t send them out for whatever reason they supplement their diet with invertebrates, soft organ meats, and ingesting small quantities of iron whenever they can. Mostly by nibbling on rusted objects or sucking on found bits of metal like jawbreakers.

Besides blind hunting they’ll also enthusiastically feed on willing subjects. Hirudo are renowned healers and their bites can ease certain ailments just like regular leeches. They can can greatly increase their healing powers through training and even imbue their leeches with specific healing spells by lightly carving said spells into their flesh. If you come across an aquatic apothecary or river-side hospital outside of human territories, they’re likely to be owned or staffed by hirudo. When healing others, singular leeches are selected and expelled for each patient. Dedicated healers tend to be larger than regular hirudo since their constant food source helps them produce more leeches.

Powers: Calming aura (to be fair the leeches have this power, not the hirudo), two or three times the strength of an average human (that’s normal for any mermaid though, they’re pretty much all pure muscle), durability (very hard to kill if they can get water and a blood source), and accelerated healing. They can direct their leeches to specific targets and use them as kind of detachable limbs, even speaking through them if they need to. Mostly they just point them in a general direction and see what they can get. The leeches have their own simple brains and can figure it out.

Fun Facts:

Bites don’t hurt and rarely become infected unless you’re just rolling around in garbage all day. You don’t bleed more or less than you would after a regular leech bite and if the creature doesn’t see the leech they probably won’t know they’ve been fed on until after it’s gone.

They can hang out on land just fine due to being their own personal swimming pools but they still dry out after a day or so and need to return to the water. While on land they develop a thin layer of mucus on their skin that isn’t sticky or wet but you can feel it creepily shift under your hands if you grab them too roughly and it gives them a shimmery glow. This layer flakes off if they become dehydrated and some harvest it as well as any spare Leech Slime for use in beauty products and skin ointments.

They can ‘walk’ on land but it’s draining after a bit and they all use canes and/or wheelchairs to get around.

Just like regular leeches, hirudo are hermaphrodites. What we think of as feminine or masculine appearances are just the product of different family genetics interacting with environmental stimuli and are the same as tribe markings to them. Come from a southern river system where your egg was kept in warm water? Guess you’ll grow up to look more femme and you get cool orange stripes. This situation isn’t unheard of in mermaids but land creatures can be taken aback. It’s whatever. Biology does what it wants.

Many name their leeches and get real mad if one is killed. Partially because anyone would be mad if you murdered one of their organs, but also because they like those little buddies. Luckily, they’re pretty hard to kill if they’re in water and they can get back to the main body.

Most physical fighting is done with leeches. All hirudo have at least one leech that’s bigger, tougher, and honestly creepier than the others just for combat situations. They vary a little from person to person but a consistent trait is that they have just. Too many teeth. Too many teeth that are sometimes not in the right places and sometimes look too human. Just a lot of Wrong Teeth on a big fat blood slug. If this ‘attack leech’ dies or doesn’t return to the body in a certain period of time then they start growing a new one immediately and oh boy is the new one always worse that the last one. There are hirudo out there housing some real abominations.

Combat Leech is their secondary defense mechanism. The first is expelling slime at predators and slipping out of their grip by furiously stretching and wriggling.

The leeches aren’t like wild leeches. They don’t digest the blood they take or make more leeches. They’re also strangely warm, like little hot water bottles. It’s hard to even call them leeches since they’re really detachable organs that act like leeches but like. What else can they be called? Idk, but there’s strong evidence that wild leeches find them creepy and will avoid them.

They’re very amused at the human perception of boobs because to them bigger titty is like a sign that says “I have fat to spare because I eat very well and that means I could probably rip you to shreds”.

They can produce children with other humanoids in theory but it’s a toss of the coin for the egg’s viability and it’s suspected that this is how vampire genes get thrown into non-mer family lines so like. Not a great idea if you don’t want to chance giving birth to some draculas!!!

They can fit through any space their head can fit into. They kind of navigate the world with octopus/cat vibes. Their arms are even more tentacle-y that classically arm shaped.

Eight to ten eyes with position and number differing by tribe.

On average they’re about 5-5.5ft long but powerful hirudo with lots of leeches can get 8ft+.

They’re actually known as some of the prettiest mermaids by humans.

Humans are some of their favorite prey.

Most biologist feel like this isn’t an evolutionary accident.

Immortality?: Hirudo can live for around three hundred years in perfect conditions but they’re not immortal, they grow old and die like anything else. Immortality in not out of reach for those able to push a few morals aside however, and can be accomplished two ways:

1. Feed exclusively on other hirudo. This is an asshole move for obvious reasons and can be done by consuming their leeches or going old school vampire and drinking right from the source. Can be killed if they’re dehydrated through aggressive salting or imprisoning on land for months.

2. Necromancy is just very advanced healing magic really. Carve enough arcane magic into your tummy buddies and you got yourself a real Leech Lich situation brewing. These hirudo can only be killed by thoroughly destroying all of their leeches.

[casper-writes-stuff]

The Black Cat Part Four

ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23247103/chapters/58845892

This took almost two months to write and I’m honestly so sorry for that but also like... It’s almost 2k words of platonic affection. Part four of my fic trade with @rose-gold-roman!!

General Taglist: @acanvasofabillionsuns, @emo-disaster, @greenninjagal-blog, @jungle321jungle, @sleepy-sides, @gattonero17, @another-sandersidesblog, @strawberryjellystuff, @remusownsmyuwus, @logic-with-a-pinch-of-deceit, @gr3ml1n-loser, @main-chive, @kiribakuandcats, @firey-alex, @orca-iguana, @spooky-scary-virgil, @sanderssidesweirdo, @stormypaint, @just-a-little-bit-gay-oops, @dying-is-a-hobby​

TBC Taglist: @daring-elm​

Waking up to the sun in his face sent a jolt of panic through Patton. There was still school to go to, and the sudden shouldn’t be out when he had to get up.

“Oh, crud!” he cursed, shooting out of his bed and cringing when he looked down at himself.

He didn’t have time to get changed, he’d have to go to school without a binder today. Gosh this was going to suck with his dysphoria, but he was late and he had to get out of the house.

A thought struck him, and Patton looked at his bed, and then under it, and then other places around his room. The window was still closed too, and Patton let out a noise of confusion because if that were the case, how did Salem get out?

Patton’s text tone went off, and he remembered he was supposed to be getting ready dang it! He’d worry about Salem when he wasn’t at risk for detention or his sister getting mad at him!

It was a rush to get ready, and since his sister had already left for the college he was going to have to walk to the school. Heck, he was going to miss so much of his classes.

He pulled out his phone, wincing when he saw it was approaching nine. Missed all of the first period already. Logan might be able to pick him up though? Now was his free period and he usually drove to school.

Decision made, Patton pulled up his text conversation with Logan and hit call, putting his phone on speaker while he struggled to get pants on.

“Patton? Where are you, it’s unlike you to miss school without warning us before it even starts.”

He winced, then let out a yelp when he nearly tripped.

“Are you alright?” Logan asked, clear worry in his tone as Patton sighed.

“Yep! Trying to get my pants on. Will you come pick me up? Morgan’s at college and if I call her-”

“Ah, the dragon witch, yes of course Patton, I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

The amount of affection and gratefulness he felt for Logan in that moment nearly overwhelmed Patton to the point of crying.

“Thanks Lo! See you in ten!”

Before Logan could respond, Patton tapped the end call on his phone and finished buttoning up his jeans before he shoved his phone in his pocket.

With a sigh and a frown at his dresser drawer, Patton grabbed his backpack and then made his way to the bathroom to fix his bed-head. The brush caught a couple times in his curly hair, and he hissed in pain (the sound bringing his mind back to Salem for a moment) before he decided the mess was tamed enough.

Patton was at the top of the stairs when he heard the TV on and felt his heart sink into his stomach.

Was his sister home? She had class today, why the heck would she be home?

Making his way downstairs, Patton did his best to creep as quietly as possible. As soon as he was able he peeked around the corner of the wall to see Morgan passed out on the couch, arm thrown over her eyes and mouth hanging open.

There was drool on her mouth, she was still asleep. He’d have to skip breakfast if he wanted to get passed her without waking her up.

His stomach growled in protest at the thought and Patton winced. That’s right… he’d skipped dinner last night too.

With a deep breath, Patton shook off his hunger and tiptoed through the living room. He kept his eyes either on the couch or the door, straining hard to make sure she didn’t wake up until he had his shoes in hand and was out the door.

Sighing in relief, Patton sat on the concrete step and shoved his feet in his shoes, glancing up every few seconds to watch for Logan.

Hearing Logan’s truck pull up made his heart leap into his throat, and he rushed to get in so they could leave faster.

“You’re rushing,” Logan commented while Patton pulled his seatbelt over his chest, wincing at the way it nestled against his chest and making his breasts way more pronounced than he wanted.

“Yeah, Morgan over slept too apparently,” he responded, looking up to eye the door and windows while Logan shifted gears.

“Your sister is infuriatingly hypocritical.”

Patton sagged when Logan finally pulled away and he didn’t see any signs of his sister having woken up.

“Not like I can do anything about it, Lo,” he said, pulling the seatbelt away from his chest and staring out the window while he played with it.

Logan hummed, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel.

“My offer for you to stay with me still stands.”

Shaking his head, Patton sighed and let go of the seat belt. He didn’t answer verbally though, not really having the energy to fight with Logan about why he didn’t want to do that.

Silence filled the truck, and Patton settled in to deal with how awkward he felt by pulling on the seatbelt intermittently until Logan pulled into the school parking lot.

Patton didn’t really want to go inside. Didn’t really want to deal with feeling like everyone was going to be staring at his chest.

“If you’d turn around, Patton, you’d see the sweatshirt I’m holding out to you,” Logan said, making Patton do as he narrated.

Holy heck that was a massive hoodie.

“Is that… Is that Teagan’s?” he asked, grabbing the navy fabric and holding it up.

“It was. I borrowed it when he moved out for college,” Logan said, unbuckling his seatbelt before turning off the truck and pulling his keys out of the ignition.

Patton looked at Logan, then raised an eyebrow.

“You stole it from him while he was packing, didn’t you?”

Logan cleared his throat, hiding the embarrassed tint of his cheeks by climbing out of the truck and making Patton giggle at his expense.

“He never used it, I just wanted to re-purpose it in case something like this happened.”

Patton felt his affection from earlier return, and he climbed out of the truck himself before pulling the hoodie over his head and breathing a sigh of relief at how it hung off his frame.

“Yeah, yeah. Thanks Lo, I really appreciate it. Where’s Roman? Doesn’t he have a free period this period too?”

Logan scowled, though it was probably because Roman said something stupid to irritate him again rather than actual anger at their friend, and pointed at the building by the stairs.

Following his finger, Patton grinned when he saw Roman sitting in the grass hidden by the shade. He started waving his arm over his head, but when that failed to get his friend’s attention he took off in his direction, trusting Logan to follow behind.

Roman didn’t notice him until he slid across the grass like a baseball player would to base, a yelp escaping him followed soon by groan and a giggle.

“Padre! You made it!” he exclaimed, earning a ‘shut up’ glare from Logan before he looked around to make sure there were no teachers around while Patton was supposed to be in class.

“I did!” Patton shouted just as loudly, making Logan rub the bridge of his nose between his thumb and pointer finger.

“You two are impossible. Patton, do you want to get in trouble?” he asked, sitting across from the two while Patton draped himself in Roman’s lap.

“No! We’re in love specs! Do you really want to break up our wonderful chemistry? Become a home wrecker? Are you really that cruel of a man?”

While Roman spoke, he wrapped his arms around Patton and maneuvered him until he was resting against his shoulder. All the while Patton giggled, resting a hand on Roman’s chest and doing his best to give Logan his best impression of a hurt look.

His laughter definitely ruined the effect, but based on the fact that Logan was struggling not to smile, Patton thought it hit home well enough.

“Insufferable, both of you. Patton you need to get to class, you can’t stay here the rest of the period.”

Patton let out a whine and sagged in Roman’s arms, letting out an ‘oof’ when he dropped him back into his lap.

Well, he’d been planning on complaining, but now he was giggling too hard to continue.

Roman seemed to have him covered though, because he pushed Patton off his lap and stood up with gusto to wrap an arm around Logan’s shoulders.

“We’re not skipping,” Logan spoke before Roman had a chance to say his piece, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Oh come on Lo! We need a break! School in Salida is stressful! One missed day won’t hurt us, consider it a mental health day!”

Patton lifted himself off the ground, shifting until he was sitting cross-legged in the grass as he looked up at Logan and Roman in consideration.

“I- That sounds really nice actually. Morgan-”

“Ugh, Dragon Bitch.”

“-only answers the phone when it’s one of her friends, so I shouldn’t get in trouble for it.”

Logan sighed, looking between the two for a moment before dropping his arms in defeat.

“Alright, fine. Mental health is just as important as physical, skipping it is.”

Roman let out a cheer, though Logan cut him off quickly by clamping his hand over his mouth. Patton started giggling again, getting up from the ground and grabbing his backpack that’d he’d flung off him so he could be dramatic in Roman’s lap.

“I’d ask if you were stupid, but you asked me what the capital of Paris was last week,” Logan hissed, looking at what they could see of the school doors to make sure a teacher wasn’t about to come out and ask what they were doing.

With a roll of his eyes, Roman pulled Logan’s hand off his mouth.

“Relax, specs. The only one here who has a class right now is Patton and he knows how to sweet talk his way out of being in trouble.”

Logan sighed again, rolling his eyes to the sky.

“I don’t have enough patience to deal with you.”

Roman grinned at him, tightening his grip on Logan’s shoulders before suddenly rubbing his knuckles over his hair and earning a yelp.

“We should go to the park! The one by the river so we can watch all the birds!”

Patton watched the two interact, giggles still occasionally bursting out of him.

He just hoped Salem wasn’t at the park today, considering that was the one he’d met him in.

[emisfritish]

The First of Many Candles

Pairing : TK Strand / Carlos Reyes (9-1-1 Lone Star)

Summary : Today is Carlos’s birthday, and TK swears he isn’t trying to ruin it on purpose. Really. 

Notes : For @howtosingit, because today you deserve everything. Bri, I wish you the happiest of birthdays and I hope you enjoy this tiny contribution into that crazy fandom of yours. It’s not much, and I have no idea how good it’ll be, but I wanted to do this for you. I’m so thankful I’ve already been able to call you a friend for the past 10 years, and I wish you all the best for this coming year, may it bring you as much happiness as possible !

I hope you know how truly and completely I love you, and that you are one of my favourite people on earth. However, I also truly hope you know that the chances of this happening again are slim, because man writing them was HARD XD

This work can also be read on Ao3

This is definitely shaping up to be one of the best birthdays he’s had, Carlos thinks when he wakes up to the pleasant feeling of soft kisses being peppered all over his face, lips and slight stubble brushing against his skin every few seconds, and he smiles softly at the gesture. 

Even with his eyes still closed and in his half awake state, there’s no way he wouldn’t recognize the lips that are continuing to shower him with affection, and even if he had hoped to sleep in a little more today of all days, he has to admit this is one hell of a wake up call. 

His birthday truly is shaping up to be a great one already, he thinks as he opens up his eyes and is faced with one smiling TK Strand. 

“Morning,” whispers TK with a soft smile, before he bends down once more from where he is leaning on the side of the bed to press his lips against his. 

“TK, I have morning breath,” Carlos tries to protest, prompting the other man to sit up from his position, and pick up the mint box they keep on the nightstand for this very reason. 

As TK opens the box in search of one of the sweets, Carlos recalls Owen’s speech from when he had found a very similar box in TK’s room, and had gifted them both with a speech about how sweets and sugar this early in the morning or before bed was bad for both one’s dental hygiene and one’s health. TK had kept quiet about the reason they had the need to keep such a thing in close proximity to the bed and had just let his father’s lecture roll over him, which Carlos was still thankful for today, wishing to retain somewhat of a professional relationship with the older man. 

Thankfully, all thoughts of Owen are quickly pushed away from Carlos’s mind as soon as TK drops the mint box onto the side of the bed. His boyfriend bends forward and pushes one of the mints in his mouth, before he dives right back onto his lips for a heated kiss. 

Well, ok then. He really doesn't need further encouragement. 

After a few minutes of their tongues brushing against each other as they trade lazy kisses, Carlos brings both of his arms to go around TK’s neck, pulling the other man fully against him until his boyfriend is straddling his body and hovering over him. 

At the move, TK peppers a few more quick kisses against Carlos’s lips before he tries to pull away, only to laugh against Carlos’s lips when his boyfriend refuses to budge to let him lean away. 

“Happy birthday,” TK says softly, once Carlos finally allows him to pull back, and Carlos feels his mouth lift up into an answering smile. 

“How are you here ? I thought you had to work,” he asks his boyfriend, eyes wandering all over his boyfriend’s face as if not quite able to believe the other man is truly here, and TK just grins at him. 

“Actually, I requested the day off weeks ago. I wanted to surprise you,” TK replies, and Carlos feels his heart warm in his chest at the words. 

The fact that TK was thoughtful enough to request his birthday off of work and come here to surprise him would have been enough to melt Carlos’s heart already, but what really does Carlos in is the fact that if TK is in his bed this morning and came in while he was asleep, it means he actually used the spare key to Carlos’s apartment which was given to him weeks ago, but that he still seldom uses.

Although everything has been close to perfect in the months since him and TK finally got together officially, Carlos knows that his boyfriend still sometimes feels a little spooky about letting himself fall headfirst into a fully committed relationship, when he still vividly remembers the rug brutally being pulled from under him during his last relationship.

Both of them have been working on building trust and creating something solid for the past couple of months, and TK finally feeling comfortable to use the key and let himself into his house feels like a huge step forward, which Carlos feels elated about. 

Progress, he thinks happily, as he pulls on TK’s neck again until the other man leans back into  him. 

Their lazy kissing is interrupted a few minutes later when Carlos pulls back and wrinkles his nose, a strange smell catching him off guard. 

“What’s that smell ?” 

At the words, he sees TK’s eyes pop out of his head, before his boyfriend jumps off from the bed and makes a run out of the bedroom. 

“Shit !” he hears his scream from further into the apartment, and Carlos laughs when the distinctive smell of burnt food reaches him. 

“TK, I know you’re a firefighter, but please refrain from burning down my kitchen for the fun of it,” he shouts from where he is still lying down on the bed, only to laugh harder when he hears the uncomplimentary answer coming from down the hall. 

A minute later, TK sheepishly walks back into the bedroom, carrying a plate with what has to be the worst looking cake Carlos has ever seen in his life, and he can’t hold in the laughter at his boyfriend’s dejected face. 

The entire top half of the cake is so burnt that the knife TK must have used to try and cut it is actually standing tall in the middle of it, held still by the thick crisp of black and burnt cake batter on each side. 

TK sighs, looking down at the plate, before he dumps it onto Carlo’s chest of drawers and walks back towards the bed to straddle Carlos’s hips once again. 

“That was supposed to be your birthday cake,” he says dejected, and Carlos feels a new wave of laughter building up in his chest at how crestfallen his boyfriend looks at having burned the cake he must have baked quietly this morning after letting himself into the house while Carlos was still sleeping. 

God, his boy really could be the cutest sometimes. 

“Well I don’t think we really ought to eat that,” Carlos teases, and TK whines at the words. 

“I did my best !”

“I know you did,” Carlos smiles, appreciating the gesture and the time it must have taken for TK to plan out all of this. 

“I had even bought candles and everything,” his boyfriend keeps moaning, prompting Carlos to chuckle.

“Well… since we can’t blow the candles out, I can think of something else that could use some blowing,” Carlos teases with an exaggerated movement of his brows. 

“Officer Reyes, are you propositioning me ?” TK exclaims, falsely scandalized. “Need I remind you that you are an officer of the law ?”

“Oh trust me, I know. And I’m standing tall and ready for action right now,” Carlos replies with a cocky grin.

A few seconds of silence pass, before TK bursts out laughing, dropping against Carlos’s chest until his head is nestled between his boyfriend’s neck and shoulder. 

“Oh my god, that was awful,” he exclaims from his hiding place. “I don’t think I can actually blow you now. Not after you made the worst birthday pun ever,” he teases, his breath tickling Carlos’s skin. 

Carlos smiles fondly at the gesture, always happy to elicit such a joyful reaction from TK, even if it is at his own expense. 

Still, he’s not about to pass on a birthday blowjob though. 

“Come on TK, it’s my birthday,” he whines, and TK lifts his head back up to stare at him, fondness written all over his face.

 “Carlos Reyes. Turning 28, but behaving like an 8 year old.”

“Well, I don’t know what sort of activities you got up to at 8 years old, but…” Carlos starts to say, only to be cut off mid-sentence by TK diving back down and into him.

“Oh my god shut up,” his boyfriend whispers against his lips, before he starts back the heated kissing they were sharing earlier this morning. 

As Carlos feels his boyfriend’s lips traveling down his neck and chest, he closes his eyes back up, enjoying the pampering TK is currently showering him with. 

Just as TK’s mouth is nearing the place Carlos has been dying to feel his lips on and his boyfriend has only been teasing for minutes now, his doorbell rings and he groans in frustration. 

“Maybe they’ll go away ?” TK asks hopefully, facing up towards Carlos, but his face clearly indicates that he already knows it’s not an option, which Carlos confirms by shaking his head firmly.

It may be stupid, but being a police officer, he could never actually ignore someone at his door. Not when he’s seen enough cases to know that sometimes a stranger opening up their door is all it can take to save someone’s life if they are in danger. 

TK, who knows Carlos well enough to know that there’s no way they are just ignoring this, presses one last regretful kiss just below Carlos’s navel before he pushes back to sit upwards. 

“Shouldn’t you go and open the door then ?” he asks, and Carlos looks at him incredulously. 

“You expect me to go like this ?” he asks indignantly, eyeing down to where he’s still sporting a very obvious semi, which prompts TK to smile proudly. 

“I guess you have a point. I’ll go,” he concedes, getting up from the bed before he starts making his way out of the bedroom. 

“Wait, TK !” Carlos tells him just as he’s about to leave the bedroom. “You’re seriously going to go and open the door like this ?”

He eyes TK down, pointing to where his boyfriend is clad in only a pair of boxers and a tee-shirt with the saying  ‘Say hey if you’re gay tee-shirt’ plastered to the front, but TK just shrugs in answer. 

“But it could be my neighbors !” Carlos whisper-shouts, and TK grins at him. 

“Well if it is, they deserve this for coming to see you this early on your birthday morning,” he answers back with a smile, before he walks confidently out of the bedroom and towards the front door. 

Carlos drops back down on his bed, willing his semi to go away and shaking his head at the other man. 

TK could be so shameless sometimes, but god was he falling in love with the guy anyway. 

At the sound of a familiar voice, Carlos immediately sits back up onto his bed, mouth opening in shock. 

“Oh, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt your sleep,” he hears the person say, before his boyfriend stammers back. 

“Mrs. Carlos-- I mean, Mrs. Reyes ! Hello !” his boyfriend stutters, surely having recognized the woman at the door from the pictures of his family Carlos has laying around his apartment. “I am so sorry to be meeting you in this state, please come in,” TK pursues, just as Carlos scrambles up from the bed to hastily pull on a pair of shorts.

“Mama, hi !” he says as he makes his way out of the bedroom. 

Truly, there is nothing like hearing one’s mother’s voice to fully kill a man’s semi. 

“What are you doing here ?” he asks as he rushes out towards her and hugs his mother hello. 

When he pulls back, he sees TK still standing next to the door, his cheeks heated red in mortification, and he can’t but feel amused at the sight. 

That’ll teach his boyfriend to go and open the door in an outfit that Carlos should be the only one to see him in anyway.

“Well, I think I’m going to go and…” TK starts to say before drifting off, clearly not knowing how to finish his sentence but wanting to regroup after the untimed encounter with his boyfriend’s mother. 

Seeing how embarrassed his boyfriend still looks and not able to imagine how he would feel if their situations were reversed, Carlos decides to throw him a rope. 

“You should go and get changed babe. We’ll be there when you’re done,” Carlos tells him kindly, and he sees TK nod gratefully, although patches of red are making their way down his neck. 

“Right, I’ll do that,” he stutters. “It’s very nice to meet you Mrs. Reyes. I’ll be uh… I’ll be back.”

He rushes out of the room, and as soon as he’s in the bathroom and they hear the door closing behind him, Carlos turns towards his mother, only to see her smile amusedly towards him.

“So that was the infamous TK !” she smiles at him, and Carlos rolls his eyes, knowing he’s in for some teasing. 

He walks back towards his bedroom to find a tee-shirt, and his mother follows him into the room, pausing when she sees the forgotten cake sitting on the chest of drawers where TK had left the plate earlier. 

“And that is... ?” she asks, trying not to show her disdain towards the state of the cake, and Carlos can’t help but laugh at the offended look on her face. 

“That would be TK’s attempt at baking a birthday cake,” he says fondly as he pulls a tee-shirt over his head. 

His mother nods in understanding, but Carlos can see her trying to hold in her laughter. 

“Right, that was very nice of him. The cake definitely seems…” she trails off, obviously not knowing how to politely describe the semblance of a baked good sitting in front of her. 

“It seems inedible, and it has to be the worst cake you’ve seen in your life,” TK’s voice finishes her sentence, and both Carlos and his mother turn towards the bedroom door where his boyfriend is now standing, dressed in a pair of jeans and one of Carlos’s shirts, a lot more presentable than he was 10 minutes ago. 

Carlos’s mother laughs at TK’s words, and both of the boys chuckle too.  

“You don’t have to be nice, trust me. I know it was a catastrophe,” TK smiles at her, before he walks forward and reaches out with one of his hands to shake hers. 

“Hi Mrs. Reyes, I’m TK. I’m very sorry for what happened earlier, but it’s very nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you,” TK continues, with one of his mega-watt smiles, and Carlos can see his mother melt on the spot. 

Which… He can totally understand, really. What with how he falls more and more for his boyfriend every time the smile is aimed at him. 

“No apologies necessary cariño, that was my fault. I should have warned I was coming,” she says, pulling TK into a quick hug instead of reaching out for his hand.

Carlos smiles warmly at the picture of his boyfriend in his mother’s arms, especially when he sees the shocked look on the other man’s face from where it’s popping over his mother’s shoulder. 

“As for the cake, it’s the thought that counts. How about I make us all some breakfast so we can all get to know each other ?” she asks kindly, and Carlos feels a wave of love for his mother and how easily she adapts to any situation. 

“Actually,” TK starts to say, and for a second, Carlos is afraid that the other man is going to announce he’s leaving. Maybe meeting his mother feels like too much pressure for him, like too much too fast...

“How about I go and get some breakfast for all three of us ? So that you can catch up a little while I’m gone. There’s a great bakery that my dad swears by fairly close to here. I could go now and be back in half an hour tops. It’s only fair I go, after you just drove to come here,” TK offers with a smile, which has his mother looking pleased. 

Carlos feels his heart quiet down in his chest at the words, and he beams towards TK. 

Not running, then. 

“That sounds lovely cariño,” his mother replies, and Carlos takes a second to try and remember when the last time his mother warmed up this quickly to one of his boyfriends was. Which is probably never, if he’s honest. 

Must be the Strand effect. 

At the words, TK nods once to himself, before he walks into the bedroom and automatically presses a quick kiss to Carlos’s lips. 

When he pulls away, Carlos sees his eyes pop out, looking like a deer caught in the headlight when he seemingly remembers that his boyfriend’s mother is in the room. Carlos just smiles reassuringly towards him, before TK makes his way to leave the apartment. 

As soon as the front door shuts behind him, Carlos’s mother whips around to turn towards him and beams. 

“Me encanta !” she says excitedly, and Carlos laughs at her enthusiasm. “It’s true ! He seems very sweet. And obviously, he’s very fond of you.”

Carlos is pleasantly surprised at hearing the words. 

Obviously, he knows that TK likes him, and he hopes the other man is starting to fall for him as deeply as Carlos himself is falling for TK. 

But TK, for all he wears his heart on his sleeve most times, can sometimes be a bit of an enigma for Carlos, and he was afraid that the love he swears he can see written on TK’s face sometimes was just wishful thinking on his part. 

“You think so ?” he asks, bashful, which prompts his mother to walk closer to him and caress his cheek briefly. 

“I know so,” she reassures him. “This one’s here to stay, I can tell from the love shining in his eyes.”

Carlos smiles warmly towards his mother, although he can feel his cheeks heat up in a way no one but TK can truly elicit from him. 

“I really like him Mama,” he whispers, and his mother hums. 

“I know, I can tell.” 

He smiles bashfully and she looks at him fondly, before she starts turning around in the bedroom. 

“Now young man, let’s tidy up this apartment a bit before that boy of yours comes back,” she orders, and Carlos groans at the words. 

“But Mama, it’s my birthday,” he whines, and his mother turns towards him and stares him down. 

“Yes, and I was the one who actually did all the work by pushing you into the world that day, so vamonos !”

And well… There’s truly nothing he can say to refute those words anyway. 

Later on, after TK’s come back with what his mother said were some of the best croissants she’s had in her life, and after the three of them have spent the entire day talking and laughing, his mother regaling TK with all of Carlos’s exploits from his youth, his mother goes back home after dropping a fond kiss on both of their foreheads, leaving Carlos and TK alone once again.

As they lie in bed, Carlos turns to his side and caresses one of TK’s cheeks. 

“My mother really liked you,” he says softly, and TK turns his head towards him and smiles, embarrassed. 

“Not quite how I imagined meeting her,” he says, and Carlos laughs at the words. “I’m not sure how your mother can like me after this, I didn’t think she’d end up liking the barely dressed, stupid, ex-addict man she met at the front door this morning, but somehow she managed. Your mom must be some kind of angel,” TK continues self-deprecatingly, and Carlos moves closer to him. 

“Well I don’t know about the man you’re describing, but I knew for sure she would like my sweet, smart, brave, strong and funny boyfriend though.” Carlos corrects him simply, and TK turns to his side himself so they are facing each other, before smiling gratefully at him. 

“Although said boyfriend really is terrible at baking. I have to say, I am a little sad I didn’t get to eat any cake today though,” Carlos continues, and TK pushes gently on his shoulder in retaliation. 

“I’m sorry ! I promise, I’ll do better next year. No more of this baking a cake nonsense, store bought food it is,” TK exclaims, and Carlos feels his breath catch in his throat. 

Next year. 

He has to admit he likes the sound of that.

And he loves the fact that the words just naturally rolled out on TK’s tongue without a thought, as if it’s a given for his boyfriend that he’ll still be there to celebrate Carlos’s birthday with him next year.

“That sounds good,” Carlos replies, voice shaking a little, and TK smiles up towards him. 

“Happy birthday Carlos,” his boyfriend whispers, emotion and happiness shining in his eyes. And although those three words aren’t the ones his mother said she could read in TK’s eyes earlier, Carlos hears them loud and clear anyway. 

As his eyes close and Carlos starts to fall asleep, the first thought he had this morning when waking up comes rushing to the front of his mind, and he smiles at the thought that he was right. 

Today has definitely been one of the best birthday’s he’s ever had, and he can’t wait to share many more with TK by his side.  

[notveryglittery]

star light, star bright

it’s @blinksinbewilderment‘s birthday!!! you know what she likes a lot? romantic analogical and brotherly prinxiety :) it’s a quick little bulletfic with lots of extra bonus background ships. i really treasure our friendship, blink, i hope you have a day that shines as brightly as you do, and that you feel as much happiness as i do whenever i get to talk to you <3!! 

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

brotherly prinxiety 

big bro ro 

virgil goes to roman for advice on how to ask out his long-time crush logan

roman initially teases him relentlessly because anyone with eyes can see logan has liked virgil back for at least three quarters of that long-time 

when roman realizes the two are in fact blind pining oblivious dummies, he jumps at the chance to help this ship sail as smoothly as it can from where it’s been docked for far too long 

roman is obviously a Professional Matchmaker - look, his name is in the word “romance”

(never mind the fact that patton is the one who swept roman off his feet with a romantic declaration at the top of a ferris wheel underneath a bright full moon)

(they’ve definitely let roman live this down. absolutely no one brings it up at every given opportunity)

so roman teaches virgil all of the important things to woo one’s true love (“he isn’t my true love,” virgil gripes, hoping roman doesn’t notice how hard he blushes. roman notices.) this includes: practicing of poetic confessions, the perfect combination of flowers in bouquets, romcom movie marathons. 

to virgil’s mortification, roman invites patton to one of their lessons. to virgil’s further humiliation, patton’s brother declan tags along, and it turns out virgil’s to practice his confession on declan because he’s got that same dry wit and humor as logan, and surely he can offer the best reactions. 

(declan thinks this is very stupid but he and virgil are also kind of frenemies and so declan will take any blackmail he can get his hands on) 

it goes about as well as you think it would 

meanwhile, one logan sanders is trying to smother himself with a pillow

“babe, you of all people should know how physically impossible it is to do that” 

logan throws the pillow at his queer platonic partner 

by some miracle, remy dodges it and manages not to spill a single drop of his starbucks 

so as we all know, logan has been pining for virgil for quite a few years now, and as we also all know, he is a blind oblivious dummie 

remy is surprised his ears haven’t fallen off yet with how much logan gushes about virgil

it would be cute if it hadn’t gotten really old like a year and a half ago

(okay, it’s still pretty cute but remy thinks a lot of things about logan are cute) (like, hello, the utter look of concentration on his face when he’s deciding which tie matches his outfit best?)

remy wants logan as happy as he can be, of course, but virgil is… well, remy and virgil kind of had some issues sophomore year that they never really resolved.

it doesn’t really interfere with their relationship now given the dynamic of their friend group. they kinda tolerate each other. but remy’s gotta give virgil the Talk - you know the one, “you so much as even think about hurting logan and they’ll never find your body” 

remy and roman definitely haven’t been texting each other updates over the months, why would you even insinuate something so devious 

after many shenanigans and montages of:

roman helping bolster virgil’s confidence

big bro ro helps virgil to perfect all the makeup tricks he’s learned on his own over the years. virgil understands now just how good winged eyeliner sharp enough to kill a man can make you feel. 

he really does get better with pick up lines and flirting; he stumbles sometimes but it feels effortless and that’s the important part.

declan jokingly threatening to steal logan away if virgil didn’t get on with it

while virgil knows declan’s aroace ass would never, virgil does not know that logan likes him back, and so this still seems like an entirely plausible thing to worry and stress about 

sometimes, declan drapes himself over logan and heckles him into a debate; partially to see virgil get all flustered over logan all worked up, partially to encourage virgil to hurry up already, wouldn’t he like to be in logan’s space like this?

remy dropping hints around virgil about logan’s newest interests

virgil and logan might be close friends who have been mutually pining over each other for years, but there’s still things they don’t tell each other, or don’t get the chance to share. if remy happens to let slip that logan wants desperately to visit the new exhibit at the observatory, well, that’s neither here nor there.

and he does give virgil the Talk, a few nights before the plan is set into motion. in the same go, they mostly remedy their past issues. by the end of it, virgil wonders how it’s possible for someone to be so threatening while using pet names like “babe,” “sweetie,” and “honey” every other sentence. 

eventually, virgil is deemed Ready. it is Time. 

halloween is virgil’s favorite holiday and because logan loves virgil, he also loves halloween. sure, all the sweets are a health hazard, and trick-or-treating really isn’t the safest tradition, and ghosts do not exist - but virgil glows during this season. he adds autumnal colors to his wardrobe and it really is not fair how good he looks in oranges, and browns, and deep greens. 

(in case we aren’t all on the same page yet, logan is Very Very Gay.)

everyone is at remy’s house. it’s definitely one of the biggest homes in their small town and so this is where a lot of the holiday parties tend to take place. the dormir family is also generally just really well liked. which means more people than invited show up but if anyone knows how to throw and manage a party, it’s remy. 

anyway the plan is that virgil and logan finally get together at this party so that they can finally go trick or treating with the gang in matching costumes 

it is so lame and virgil would rather forsake trick or treating completely but also he may or may not have been planning couple’s costumes for like four years now

everything is going really well! 

roman and patton are social butterflies, flitting from the dance floor to the kitchen to the backyard. they’re dressed up as she-ra and perfuma, respectively. roman’s even threaded led lights into the underskirt and cape so that he’s actually glowing. patton’s flowers aren’t just a crown atop his head, they twist and weave along his arms, around his torso, and down his legs.

remy wears the same thing every year to the party: pajamas and a ridiculous pair of slippers. he saves the extravagant costumes for halloween night. he truly is a spectacular host, making sure drinks and snacks are restocked, that nothing’s being broken, and checking in on those who don’t handle the crowds too well. 

logan’s dressed in a very impressive le petit prince costume - it’s so good, it might as well be a full on cosplay. (virgil definitely isn’t swooning, what?) logan sticks close to the edges of rooms, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else. 

(in, for example, virgil’s arms, on the dance floor, swaying to a slow song.)

virgil is dressed as jack skellington and declan in a creepily accurate oogie boogie - everywhere he goes, plastic insects fall out of his costume. patton’s shrieks of terror at seeing the fake spiders keeps startling the party guests. 

eventually - totally not by plan or anything - logan and virgil end up in the backyard together, on the old wooden swing bench on the porch. it’s nearing midnight and the crickets are chirping and there’s an owl hooting nearby somewhere. the moon is obscured on this cloudy night. 

virgil thinks it’s perfectly spooky and atmospheric 

logan doesn’t need to see the stars in the sky when they’re sparkling so brightly in virgil’s eyes

logan’s feet barely reach the floor and so virgil uses his heel to push them back and forth. thankfully, both of their costumes keep them warm enough in the chilly fall weather. (though they, of course, could always do to be a little bit warmer.) 

virgil’s breathing is measured and it’s super obvious he’s counting them in his head. logan scoots closer and lays a hand over virgil’s. his breath hitches.

“there is something i would like to tell you,” logan begins. 

the record scratch in virgil’s head sounds loud enough that everyone at the party should be able to hear it

“for the… last couple of years, i have harb-” 

“hold on,” virgil interrupts, loud and sudden. “hold - wait a seco - there’s no way you’re -” 

logan normally finds all manners of virgil’s speech patterns endearing but right about now, logan has a finite amount of courage and it is quickly running out

“- going to tell me right now-”

“of course i love you.” 

virgil’s jaw promptly snaps shut 

(he’s been working so hard on this and all this time??????) 

virgil isn’t really aware of the high-pitched noise he’s making until logan reaches out and firmly presses a hand over his mouth. 

“it is my fault that you have not known it all the while,”

(and the way logan says it, like a treasured line from a fairytale. virgil’s sure he’d recognize it if he could think at all.)

“i understand if you do not reciprocate these feelings and i apologize if i have made you uncomfortable with my confession,” logan is saying now while virgil’s still working on rebooting. logan lowers his hand. “i hope that this will not negatively impact our friendship. i care deeply for you and-” 

virgil’s systems spark back to life and he interrupts again, this time with a short bark of laughter. 

“l, oh my god, no offense, but i’ve been building up to this night for months and you just-” he has to pause to stifle his laughter. he’s equal parts giddy because logan likes him back and frustrated because logan’s liked him back for years and neither of them had done anything about it until now.

logan looks confused. 

virgil wants nothing more than to kiss him. 

“i’m in love with you” bulldozes over his brain-to-mouth filter instead

logan looks confused, elated, overwhelmed, stunning, he blushes so prettily, virgil thinks, and all of his practice must pay off, because the next move he makes is easy. 

at some point, they’d turned towards each other. virgil’s hand cups logan’s face. leaning closer, virgil’s gaze lowers to logan’s lips, and then back up. who knew eye contact alone could be this electrifying?

“can i kiss you?” virgil murmurs. 

“i can’t think of anything i’d like more,” logan responds. 

(back in the house, declan grumpily shoves a twenty dollar bill into roman’s hands.)

a week and a half later will find virgil and logan in matching costumes. for their shared interest in astronomy, they’ve lowkey always been called the “starlight gays” amongst their friends, and their costumes certainly help solidify it. 

logan is wearing dark jeans and a navy button down. with roman’s help, he’s lit up like the night sky; led lights form constellations that, if asked, logan will explain in a heart beat. from his shoulders trails a glittering black cape that catches the light just right (it’s impractical for trick or treating but the way virgil keeps wrapping himself up in it, snuggling close to logan’s side… well)

virgil’s the opposite in whites and greys, though he’s glowing as well, a near match to the full moon in the sky. he seems exceptionally pleased with the makeup he’s done for the costume, silver and blue and sparkling. 

(they look like they should be at a con, honestly, instead of out for one night collecting candy, but it’s cute, and that’s all that matters) 

and of course, they live happily ever after

(with only the slightest of teasing for the rest of their lives about their slow burn romance) 

[arbeaone]

For “Great British Baking Show” Contestants, The Real Loss is the Endless Trolling

by Rae Robey Published on December 2, 2019 at 11:51am

Against the vast backdrop of high-octane and anxiety-inducing cooking competition television programs, The Great British Baking Show is an aberration. Internationally beloved for its affable contestants and endless supply of baking-themed anglicisms—“soggy bottoms” and “saucy puds” abound—the show follows a dozen or so home bakers as they compete to be named Britain’s best amateur baker. When the 2019 season premiered with a record-breaking 9.6 million viewers, each contestant was thrust into the public eye; most have racked up tens of thousands of Instagram followers since the season began in August. For American audiences in particular, The Great British Baking Show’s intrinsic wholesomeness makes it a cultural phenomenon: We could never be so well-mannered in a televised competition, but we do enjoy pretending.

The Great British Baking Show is, at most, an estranged cousin to American cutthroat cooking competitions like Chopped, Iron Chef, or even Cupcake Wars. In the Baking Show tent, contestants help each other finish their bakes, are graceful (even grateful!) in defeat, and despair when their purported rivals are dismissed from the competition. Each episode is predicated on kindness, love, support, and the freely-given home-baked comforts of the feminine domestic realm. Even the grand prize—a cake stand and some flowers, no cash—highlights the show’s near-pathological humility. Produced by a team called Love Productions, decency is, we can only assume, woven into the show’s DNA. But when Baking Show airs on TV, long after the last bun is iced and the final bap prodded, the trolling begins.

Each season, the bakers spend months immersed in icing sugar, bavarois, and ganache, frantically preparing for the 30 challenges of the competition. In addition to the generalized stress of executing difficult pastry skills while trying to impress professional judges on an international stage, the bakers are told by producers that they’ll likely deal with some backlash from a handful of disproportionately peeved viewers. After all, it’s a competition. But the backlash goes beyond competition, and, despite the warning, most bakers are blindsided by the frequency and ferocity of their trolling. And though adoring fans are certainly in the majority, online trolls yell the loudest. Stacey Hart, a Season 8 semifinalist, dealt with severe online harassment as soon as the season began airing. “I’m smug, I’m a bitch, I’m a worthless piece of shit, I’m a useless baker,” Hart told Bitch, describing the comments that strangers sent her. “[The show] was the best experience and the best thing—at the time—that I ever did. It became the worst thing I ever did.” Trolls loathed her pink, glittery bakes and how often she brought up motherhood; their caustic DMs and comments drove her into a months-long depression. “I’m quite a self-conscious person anyway, and it made me question myself,” says Hart. “Am I good enough?”

Before Hart, there was Ruby Tandoh, a Season 4 runner-up who was deemed a “filthy slag” who traded sexual favors and weaponized “female tears” for preferential judging. Tandoh wrote a piece for The Guardian in October 2013 describing the waves of “lazy misogyny” that followed each episode’s release, but shining light on the problem change much for future contestants. Claire Goodwin, the first to leave the tent in Season 5, was inundated with fat-shaming comments. Season 6 winner Nadiya Hussain, a first-generation British Bangladeshi, was told to “go home” on Twitter. Candice Browne, winner of Season 7, regularly endured comments from strangers who “fucking hate Candice, reckon she’s a right bitch.”

In a 2018 joint study with Element AI, Amnesty International named online trolling of women a human rights violation—one that social media platforms like Twitter continuously refuse to be held accountable for. The trolling of Baking Show contestants generally reflects the Amnesty International findings: White women are trolled hard, but women of color are trolled harder. Commenting on the viciousness of a particularly nasty troll, Hussain offered a succinct explanation: “I’m Muslim, brown, working-class and a woman! I may as well have ‘punching bag’ written on my torso.” In general, men are less likely to be trolled and, instead, are more likely to be trolls themselves, due to years of learned misogyny and—according a Brunel University and Goldsmiths, University of London report—a higher rate of narcissism. But on Baking Show, trolling often extends to the men with nearly as much vitriol and regularity as it does to the women.

Dan Beasley-Harling, a 2018 contestant and self-identified “gay-at-home dad” received the overwhelming bulk of Season 8’s cumulative harassment. “It was about five weeks of people just saying horrible things about me constantly. I had some really overtly homophobic comments,” says Beasley-Harling, referring to unoriginal jabs about queer sex and the suitability of a queer parent. Trolls can generally find a problem with any woman, but two types of bakers stand out as exceptionally deserving of harassment: women who don’t land neatly in the realm of palatable, perfect femininity, and men who aren’t stereotypically masculine. Beasley-Harling’s experience suggests that Baking Show trolls might take a more nuanced approach to their vocation.

Perhaps it’s not just about harassing women online—it’s about re-establishing gendered power dynamics and punishing those who flirt with the domestic on public-facing platforms. Domestic work has historically been an unpaid at-home venture delegated to women, so Baking Show contestants are either women overstepping their household boundaries or men crossing gendered labor lines. For a troll, either is a damnable offense. But with each record-smashing episode, Baking Show subverts the assumptions of where femininity belongs, who it belongs to, and how much it’s worth—roughly £24.2 million in predicted revenue. Still, exploitation is often and easily disguised as empowerment. Lest we forget, Baking Show contestants aren’t paid, and the grand “prize” has little to no real-world value.

To an extent, we all participate in the uninformed and unkind public judging that trolls have championed. We experience celebrities and public figures—especially women—as dehumanized subjects ripe for public dissection, each one existing in a vacuum sealed behind a screen. After all, the Baking Show contestants are filmed, edited, and packaged by professionals into easily digestible archetypes for the sake of a comprehensible and compelling storyline. For example, the latest season featured Michael Chakraverty as the optimistic goofball, Steph Blackwell as the irrationally insecure savant, and Helena Garcia as the spooky, whimsical free spirit. While these personas are fully inspired by who the bakers actually are, they’re ultimately deployed to create drama and tension where it doesn’t exist—that’s just the mandate of reality-TV editing.

But trolls live in the extreme, and for them the editing spurs online abuse. Beasley-Harling, for example, saw the trolling as a direct extension of Love Production’s editing. “I felt like the editing choices were very much treating me like collateral damage,” Beasley-Harling says. “I phoned Love Productions and said, ‘I don’t think you’re representing me fairly, I understand why people don’t like me.’ And they said, ‘No, you’re crazy, everyone’s getting a fair, balanced view on the show. It’s all in your head.’” Gaslighting, the Old Faithful of emotional abuse is regularly deployed against women, people of color, the LGBTQ community and other marginalized groups, is remarkably efficient at restabilizing power dynamics—exactly what trolls seek to do. A representative for Love Productions stated via email that: “Love Productions has always taken contributor care seriously and has robust protocols in place to protect and support those taking part in our shows throughout production and after transmission. These protocols evolve to acknowledge and address the changing media landscape and scrutiny.”

Depending on who you ask, however, the robustness of their protocols fluctuates. According to Beasley-Harling, past contestants have speculated that the Love Productions team tailors their level of attention and support based on the profitability of the contestant in question. After leaving the tent halfway through the competition, Beasley-Harling felt like Love Productions was less interested in protecting its contestants from trolling when money was to be made elsewhere, a behavior not dissimilar to reality television at large. “I barely left my house for three months. I was a shitty parent for three months,” Beasley-Harling says, describing the impact of his trolling. “To me, that felt like, ‘We’ve used you for the entertainment value and now we’re disposing of you.’” But Hart, the semifinalist who received the brunt of Season 8’s trolling and suffered a depressive period similar to Beasley-Harling’s, found Love Productions reassuring throughout airing.

“Every time I called them, they were wonderful. Didn’t matter what time of day,” says Hart. But she does concede that the emotional scarring from her online abuse outlasted Love’s self-proclaimed robust protocols. “They’ve got no idea how it’s affected me to this day,” says Hart. “I don’t think that’s their problem anymore, is it?” It remains to be seen how this year’s cohort of bakers will fare. Airing in the United Kingdom continued through October, and this year’s crop of bakers appear as chipper as ever, even online. So far, trolling appears to be minimal—maybe the bakers can avoid it if they subscribe more closely to normative gender expectations. “When I went on the Bake Off I wasn’t worried about my hair or my makeup or what I was wearing,” says Hart. “Maybe if I had made more of an effort, people would have been nicer to me.”

[dxmagedrose]

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER!

Tagged by: my lover @hammurabicomplex​ I’m tagging: anyone and everyone who wants to pick this one up! share with the class if you feel like it! tag me in it!!

PRESENTING. RANDOM DEEP DIVE WITH INDIGO-MUN AT 2AM ;

FIRST NAME Good fucking question… It’s (sort-of) currently Dylann! I was Kieran before that, though; it’s still used as one of my first names and I’m not used to Dylann quite yet bc I’ve just started using it. 

Indigo is one of my middle names though, and I’ve used it as an online handle elsewhere forever so I use it here now!  [ Fun etymology facts: Dylan(n) is a mythology name generally meaning “born of the wave” (aspiring diver & a water witch at heart). Kieran means “little dark one” bc of my love for horror, && I chose Indigo bc as a kid to be it was neither boy (blue) or purple (girl) and was both and neither as well as my absolute favorite color as this vibrant ass mystical color. ]

STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF hmmmmm…. I’m a horror lover at heart, so as a child (I wanna say 12), I was walking through an antique store (I have a few cool finds, I considered putting my other one as the fact tbh) and I turned the corner and I saw these two dolls staring back at me at the foot of the stairs of this antique building. my blood froze, and i felt my stomach drop. i got actual, physical goosebumps stumbling across these two creepy dolls staring back at me in the corner, and i couldn’t leave the store without them. perhaps the little painted porcelain boy would be somewhat spooky by himself if it wasn’t for the terrifying lidded gaze of the porcelain girl with the hairline fractures and slightly open lips. i cant look at her. i dont really find dolls scary, I like to find the spookier ones ones, and she makes me paranoid as hell. i keep her face covered and her up in my closet except for when i bring her out to show her off proudly as the spookiest thing I have but……. i dont really collect dolls anymore.  even thinking about her brings a fearful tear to my eye.  i don’t like to think about her for very long, but that’s why I’m so fucking proud to own her. ( YES — I’m THAT white person in the horror film )

TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON hhhhh a beardy jawline, high cheekbones, crooked canine teeth >:3c

A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF b.l.t.’s with avocado. ahhhh. my mouth is watering just thinking about it, oh my god. just a bit of salt and pepper???

A FOOD YOU HATE barbecue anything, i hate the taste of bbq sauce, you keep your nasty black goo to yourselves at the grill. twice in my life i have presented with barbecue pizza and both times i cried literal tears. why would you do such a horrible thing to a person? what kind of a monster are you? how do you sleep at night?!

GUILTY PLEASURE the sims. constantly. always. i’ve sunk thousands of hours into my households. oh also uhhhhhh i run two 80s horror blogs, one being a shitpost blog with occasional art of mine and one gremlin fanfic ship blog for horrible, terrible self indulgent fanfics i’ll get the courage to finish writing & post so i can be cancelled on tumblr for at some point. NO, i won’t link them. as i pretend they’re even all that hard to find, within a day i was found on both by someone i admire here a lot :’) ilu bby thnk u eternally for supporting ur local horrifying dumbass wtf

WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN the same clothes i’ve been wearing all day usually, my sweats & long sleeve raglans or my hoodies. i like being cozy day & and out. and ugh. efoort. just throw me in a blanket in a cool room and im out.

SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS serious relationships with some openness or poly. i wish i could fling! just not exactly easy for demisexual autistics lmao.

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE I think I would be adopted by my grandma as a kid. It would save me some trauma but mostly I think it would get my autism diagnosed way earlier and save me angsting all these years of wondering why & thinking it’s my fault I’m struggling so much and so loud and affectionate and different in a world that i didnt fit in the same way. 

ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON when i get drunk i text people how much they mean to me in my life. does that answer your question? ahhh. i’m sometimes a cuddle monster with friends, i message people with long texts about how much they mean to me, but I sometimes really don’t like to be touched at all. 

A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN FLYPAPER.  F L Y P A P E R.  FLYPAPER.  FLY, and, I can’t stress this enough, fucking PAPER. ( Though also Whole Nine Yards and both Re-Animator & Bride ). I have watched Flypaper already like, 5 times this week and I’m still not done, and the other movies have been on repeat for days in this household within the last year. In the past it has also been Donnie Darko & the new Nightmare on Elm Street.  roast me.

FAVORITE BOOK White Fang by Jack London. Have I actually ever finished it? No. Do I still own a copy I’ve had since childhood thru multiple dogs eating it, taking it to and from school, and highlighting and circling all the best parts of chapter one ever since I was a kid and it was too hard of a book for me to read? You bet your ass. If I ever need inspiration I just reread chapter 1. Although one of my other favorites was Broken Monsters by Lauren Beukes. But White Fang is like, a weirdly personal text. We stan London’s writing in this household.

YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE FENNEC FOX!! I used to daydream about having my own named Shiloh when I was a lil kid. they’re adorable little things and i am obsessed. i mean, gimme any fox and im happy, marble foxes, red foxes… but I was obsessed with fennec foxes. Also tbh ferrets. I want a ferret.

TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL] Rosa & @ninetyscnds‘s Luke, Rosa & @iimpulsivity is already screaming my name, Rosa & Constantine, Jesse & Andrea from Breaking Bad, and the joker and harley of 80s sci-fi Dan & Herbert from Re-Ani.  I am but a simple opossum. 

PIE OR CAKE Pie! I’ll take both pumpkin & melty apple over cake. also, cheesecake is more pie than cake soooo, pie wins.

FAVORITE SCENT my dogs / my blanket. :’)  It’s the most grounding smell in the world. 

CELEBRITY CRUSH oliver jackson-cohen, i’m fucking GAY and im angry about it. there i was, minding my own business, and i saw that asshole in a certain SHIRTLESS GIF and it AWOKE SOMETHING IN ME. dont talk to me about it, holy shit im obsessed with beardy men now god fuckkdafjaask i hate him why did he make me this gay i was perfectly fine being into girls but NOOOOOO him and his dumb hairy chest and sweet rugged face and I——  I also am obsessed with the archaeologist & television personality Josh Gates and may or may not be considering making a fan blog for him bc idk if my anthropology docuseries host is Dad or Daddy but i love him lots

IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO I would go on a dive with anthropologists and archaeologists doing fieldwork research in the ancient cenotes of the Yucatán Peninsula. My actual dream job, catch me crying & fantasizing about being underwater documenting Mayan skulls given as offerings. Fuckkkk, I love anthropology so much!!  take me anywhere in the world to immerse myself into culture & archaeology.

INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT Introvert. I have a real life friend I see roughly once a month, and that’s it. Plenty of online relationships, I’m chatty, message me all day every day. but i dont do people well.

DO YOU SCARE EASILY I used to! Really bad. I don’t as much anymore. I do get paranoia a lot still. Having therapists telling you that the FBI could be outside your house watching you through your windows will kind of nervous. ( no google results for: yes hello fbi i am a writer please dont put me on watchlists i just have research i need to do for this idea im working on, would you like to try again? ) I have nightmares nightly but not they never make me afraid, they just make me feel like crap. jumpscares and loud noises and seeing people reaching into their pockets dont set off as many brain alarms anymore tho!! progress haha.

IPHONE OR ANDROID I like my android better bc of capabilities but meh

DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES My mom, her husband & I play COD for family game night, and Silent Hill is my life’s blood. I’ve sunken hours into Sims & Skyrim, and Norman Jayden from Heavy Rain is my #1 fictional character in existence, why do i love the druggie babies

DREAM JOB Oh… You’re asking me to pick? I’d love to be an anthropologist doing work out in the field. Underwater archaeology is peak, but I’m also heavily considering being a body recovery diver or police diver. I’d love to see myself in uniform someday, if possible. Just the thought makes me teary eyed & proud.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS fund my person creative & educational endeavors. get myself a spooky ass abandoned house to make my own home to create in, and travel to the world’s best dive sites. just live a mild life of education, creation & exploration. that’s the dream TM.

FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE dr. hill is a gross and whiny lil bitch this post brought to u by the miskatonic crew, how is everyone here an even worse bad guy than herbert west precious dan excluded talk shit get hit tho john winchester from spn and both walter white & todd from breaking bad are all in my crew of hated characters. i jusT…   the reani novel is difficult to read because i have to deal with this old sack of shit.

FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER Supernatural :-)

… AND THIS CONCLUDES A DEEP DIVE WITH INDIGO!! //