#EVEN WITH MY UPGRADED ARMOR SETS

[patheticpat]

Me trying to chill: Game: "the air begins to chill around you"

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

[despair-tea]

okay! with beetle/chessmon built I've completed all the digimon decks I wanted to build for the time being. I'm freeeee. I can relax for a few months while nothing changes for me

[darkaac]

finished AC Origins! I liked it a lot, Bayek might be one of my favorite protags

[arc-misadventures]

Atlas Military Issued Battle Armor

Jaune: So you got some armour?

Winter: Yes I did. I took your advice to upgrade my gear, and acquire some protective armour.

Jaune: Good on you! People rely too much on their aura, even when it fails they act likes it's still active. It's a very dangerous mind set that has lead to the death of many aspiring, and veteran Hunters.

Winter: Hmmm... You make some valid points... I best bring that up with, General Ironwood later. Perhaps we can start a trend of, Hunter’s wearing more protective gear. In the mean time, would you like to see my armour?

Jaune: I would love to!

~~~

Winter: So, Jaune what do you think of my new armour?

Jaune: ...

Winter: Jaune?

Jaune: "Don't say anything about her breasts. Don't say anything about her breasts. Don't say anything about her breasts. Don't say anything about her breasts. Don't say anything about her breasts. Don't say anything about her breasts. Don't say anything about her breasts. Don't say anything about her breasts. Don't say anything about her breasts. Don't say anything about her breasts."

Jaune: Those are some really nice armoured titties!

Jaune: "You FOOL! You've doomed us to a fiery hell that has no end! She's going to kill you for daring to say such vulgar things to her! You dumb fuck!!!!"

Winter: Oh... I see... T-Thank you...

Winter: "HA! Suck it, Weiss! The blond himbo knight is mine! For he will fall for me, and my big breasts you mosquito bite washboard! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

[eggsistential-breakdown]

Team Tulpar!!!!!

Highly self indulgent silly Mouthwashing Superhero AU

Led by the esteemed Captain Cosmos, superhero conglomerate Pony Express's Team Tulpar's latest mission is to guard a top-secret mega-important warehouse in the deep recesses of space against raiders and ne'er-do-wells for one year, until Pony Express's client can install a more permanent solution.

Unfortunately, a mysterious accident destroys their only way home and grievously injures their captain. Team Tuplar finds themselves stranded on a faraway asteroid, with only battered pieces of their ship and their all-important super-forbidden warehouse charge to sustain them.

God is not watching.

Notes below the cut, not set in stone:

Pony Express

Known for its cheap and widely available distribution of superhero teams

Common option for emergency time-sensitive threats to capital or goods

Less common option for actual life-threatening emergencies

Superhero teams function pretty much just as security details for hire

Allows a little more individualization than canon Pony Express because of superhero branding

Hence the slightly personalized horseshoe logos and outfits (also for fun)

Going under because of the widespread adoption of automated comprehensive security systems

Dragonbreath's security system just broke down and they're hiring Team Tulpar to safeguard their wares until the Earth shipment of replacement and upgraded parts can arrive in one year

Curly

Gave him a bunch of powers that would be cool in space but ultimately useless against the crash

Edna Mode disapproves of capes for being impractical and dangerous so he's getting one

Debated briefly keeping Curly as his name because it's technically space related but I think it would be a bit too morbid to use as a space related superhero name in universe

Insists his team calls him Curly even on missions

Dissatisfied with his role as a glorified mall cop

Anya

Legally, spacefaring superhero teams need a healer

Legally, Anya cannot be classified as a healer

Pony Express was pretty much the only superhero company willing to take her

Still studying for med school

Her healing powers boil down to keeping you from getting worse and offloading stress on your body in hopes that it can heal you

As long as she's around things at least won't get worse :)

Which is how she's able to keep Curly alive after the incident

May or may not be using her powers to stall her own pregnancy

Definitely the glue holding everything together in canon so wanted to emphasize her importance in keeping everything from going to shit

I'm the iffiest on her superhero name ngl

She can call herself a doctor she deserves it

Tried to throw stripes in her design to reference her canon turtleneck

Daisuke

Useless ray of goddamn sunshine

Basically a very bright flashlight

If he focuses very hard he can create lasers

Can cast movies for entertainment but only as well as he can remember/imagine them

First in his family to have powers, parents pressured him to join a superhero team

Parents also got him a slightly fancier uniform hence the golden accents

Couldn't imagine him without the shirt so he's keeping the shirt

Incorporated a little Swansea yellow

Also wanted him to have a visor to be cool he gets a visor

Swansea

Assigned mentor to Daisuke

Registered his name back in college. Claims it's too much of a hassle to change it now

Keeps shields/helmet/armor? up for the entire time from when the crash happened to when Daisuke dies

He shows the most arm in canon so you bet your ass he's showing the most arm here as well

My friends suggested this name

Wanted him to still get to wield a big-ass axe

Jingleballs

Crashed the ship into the warehouse with Curly in it while Anya, Swansea, and Daisuke were double-checking the warehouse

Wearing a little half cape in part to mimic Curly, in part to try and give him a similar silhouette as his canon short sleeves

Powers pretty much just hurting people and taking from them

When strealing powers, can only use them at 20-40% of the capacity of the power's true owner

"Borrowed" Curly's powers a lot when they were younger under the pretense of Curly should experience gravity for uhh reasons

Had the phrase "there's something 'off' about this guy" when creating his name, also kind of a play on "first 'off'icer", also turning other powers off

Wears the mask and hood up when he wants to obscure his face. Usually happens outside of missions

Misc

Warehouse sits on an asteroid because it's cheap

The crash happens right after a raid, Jimmy accuses Curly of collaborating with raiders

A little less certain that no one will find them, but the crash destroys the location beacon of the warehouse and knocks the asteroid slightly off course

Team Tulpar's ship is a lot smaller, there's no cargo hold

It's also currently partially wedged inside the warehouse and stuck in place with sealing foam

Space is essentially split between the ship with food/medical supplies and the warehouse (mouthwash)

Less of a clear division of roles other than Anya as healer and Curly as leader

I like color coding characters

Had this rattling around in my head for five days please take this

[504py]

Scalding-Hot Steel - Knight!Leon Kennedy/Reader

He finally lets you try on his armor.

I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO GET OUT!!! 😭😭😭😭🙏🙏 i got caught in a bit of a slump, but i hope this can make up for it, and that this was worth the wait!! the chapter after this might be the finale, so i may take even longer to get to it. nonetheless, thank you to everyone who's been reading till now, and thank you all for 600 followers!!!

Historical inaccuracies, I suck at old-timey speak, reader referred to as "my lady" but no other gendered terms or descriptors besides that, no use of Y/N, Leon is a total puppy, mutual pining.

1, 2, 3

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

You're unsure what it was, but following that interaction at the library, you and Leon have grown closer.

This upgrade in your relationship has made you be able to relax more in his presence, now that you see him as more friend than foe. Well, to call him a foe was a gargantuan exaggeration, but you did find him intimidating. You still do sometimes.

Even if you've backed off and retired your old obsessive habit of being way too observant about every single little detail about Leon, you can't help but still notice how it seems like your roles have been swapped.

Leon has begun to follow you around like a dog, to put it simply.

You swear it's not just you fixating on him, you really have started seeing him around much more often. He's started waiting by your door to greet you a good morning with a small smile, before heading to the courtyard. During lunchtime, he's begun to engage in smalltalk with you, talking about mundane things like the weather, or your schedule for the day. He's especially chatty if he learns he's going to be part of it. At night, when his usual routine would be to simply see you off at your bedroom door and say goodnight, now he sits by your bedside and talks about anything 'till it lulls you to sleep. He'd be mortified if you knew how long he stayed after you've dozed off.

Leon has begun studying you, in return. He likes to think that he's observant, but that usually only applies to combat, or if he's been trained beforehand on the matter. With people, he's never really had much luck reading them, unless it's too obvious for it to even be called "observing."

Leon admires that about you, how keen your eyes always are. He wonders if you're as drawn into his quirks as he is with yours. If you were, he envies your ability to drink in information so tactfully. If the devil were in the details– in your details, Leon would love to become a sinner.

His attempts in learning more about you were painfully amateurish. Even if Leon were a great tutor, a great protector, a great fighter, he tends to be terrible at holding conversation.

"My lady–"

"I told you to stop calling me that." You sigh and roll your eyes playfully.

"Sorry." He huffs your name bashfully, drawing closer towards you. You look up at him, and he drinks in the sight before you're squinting slightly at the rays of sun attacking you from behind his head.

"Please step into the shade, milady." He insists, holding his hand out for you to place yours on, before leading you underneath a large tree.

"There you are again, Sir Leon." You laugh, resting your back against the smooth bark of the tree.

"Hey, I asked you to forgo the titles as well." He muses, noticing you were still straining your eyes slightly, so he steps in front of the sun. It makes your face relax, and once again, he realizes keeping you happy and protecting you brings him fulfillment like no other.

"Just doing the same as you are, Sir Leon, since you won't drop mine." Chuckling, you sit down on the plush grass and wait for him to follow.

He smiles and breathes out a laugh, setting down the picnic basket in front of you. Leon wants to sit beside you, but then his back wouldn't be there to shield you from the sun. He sits where he is.

"Alright, I'm sorry." He says, almost jokingly. Saying your name out loud makes him feel shy, like saying the name of a god. It feels almost forbidden to be molded by his tongue, but you always invite him to say it, and the intimacy makes his heart race every single time he dares to. He mumbles it quietly again, getting a high from it.

You look beautiful. He thought that from the day he first met you, but the closer you two have gotten, the more and more he finds himself thinking that, and even more does it make his heart ache in his chest. In the shade under this tree, windy summer day illuminating the soft curves of your face so enchantingly, Leon can't help but look like a bit of an idiot drinking the sight in.

"Are you feeling hot?"

His eyes look at your lips first, ears registering your voice second. He closes his mouth, realizing it's been hanging slightly agape.

"I, uh, no– no, I'm feeling alright, my–"

You tilt your head down, and send him a playful warning glare. He stops in his tracks and looks down for a second, smiling breathily.

"I'm alright."

"Really? Your head tilts to the right this time, and Leon's heart skips a beat at how adorable he finds the gesture. "That armor you're wearing looks pretty hot. Can't you take it off?"

"It's only chainmail." He reassures, taking off his helmet and combing a hand through his flattened hair, "The helmet is a little troublesome, though."

You chirp, "I can imagine." before you open up the picnic basket in front of you and start rummaging through it.

Leon watches you munch on some biscuits for a bit, before his eyes flit back to the helmet by his side. "...Some time ago, you said you had wanted to try on my armor."

He says this mid-chew, so you hurry to get your food down so you can respond, "Oh, you remembered?" You wipe away a few crumbs from your lip, Leon finds the act charming, and it makes him smile softly. You continue, "Mm, yes, I did. Why bring it up?"

"Well," Leon holds up his helmet, "Would you like to try it on now?"

The way your eyes light up can't help but force a boyish, giddy grin on Leon's face. It feels strange and his cheeks feel weird, he can't really remember the last time he's smiled this hard. It does scare him a little, how foreign it is, but the feeling is so, so welcomed.

"Of course! Are you joking?" You put the snacks in your hands away, and move the basket to the side so you can inch closer to Leon. The feeling of your legs touching make butterflies take flight in his stomach.

"I-I'm not– I–" He's sputtering and he finds his brain struggling to function at being so flustered.

"Calm down, Leon." You laugh heartily. He wonders if you know the effect you have on him, but with how darn observant you are, he's sure that you're well aware what you do to him. It makes his cheeks burn red and glare at you with a kittenish frown. He wishes he could be more suave about his feelings towards you.

"I will once you stop making me so flustered." Leon huffs, hoping that wasn't too bold of a thing to say. His cheeks burn deeper. His eyebrows lower at your surprised look.

"Do I now?"

"W-Well– See, you're doing it again!" Leon groans, letting go of his helmet to hide his flushed face in his broad hands and whine. His ears turn red at the sound of your hearty laugh.

"Well, it's only fair that I do it to you too."

"Too?"

Your face warms, realizing what you've revealed. Leon grins, elated at the mere implication that he makes you feel the same way.

"Y-You've noticed, haven't you? In the library, you asked why I felt so uncomfortable around you."

"You didn't exactly answer... I thought it was because you disliked me."

"...Now you know that I clearly don't. We get along rather well, don't we?"

He's beaming at you, and it's not just the sun shining on him, it looks like he's literally glowing with serenity and love.

"We do, my lady."

"Leon!" You interject him calling you by your formal title.

He can't seem to let the title go, because in his mind, it's more of a pet name than a title. A term of endearment. Leon clings to the "my" part of the title, he liked the tiniest hint that you could be his. My lady, my lover, my sweetheart, mine.

Leon giggles, and he pauses for a moment after, realizing he can't remember the last time he's let out such a noise. He gazes upon you in awe, amazed at how you were able to bring out this side of him.

"What is it?"

Leon blinks, getting drawn out of his haze and shaking his head dismissively. He keeps his soft gaze on you, though.

The pads of his fingers rest on his helmet, feeling the ridges of it. Maybe it was too rough for someone he deemed as delicate as you. His eyes lower and rest on the piece of armor, noting how it's covered in scratches and dents, how it isn't so shiny as he'd like for it to be. It washed over him like a small wave of shame, thinking it not worthy for someone of your standing to don. Not even socially, but the standing that you held within his mind and his heart. Leon never thought he'd be insecure over such a trivial thing.

"So... Can I try it on, my good Sir?"

Leon lets out a little snort at what you call him, freezing and making an embarrassed face at the undignified noise, but then he he sees how happy it makes you– perhaps how happy he himself makes you, and he feels at ease.

"Yes, of course, Your Royal Highness."

You playfully slap his bicep at the absurd title. "I am not royalty!"

"You are to me." He mutters as he adjusts his sitting position, and you can hear the smile in his voice.

He's kneeling in front of you, being mindful of your hair or anything on your clothing the helmet could snag on, gently lowering it before the hard metal rests on the top of your skull.

Leon sits back down, and can't help a cheesy, tight-lipped smile when he sees how awkwardly it fits you. It's crooked, and it simply is too rugged in contrast to your usual attire and demeanor.

"...How is it?"

"Wow, I can barely see. This is amazing!" Your hands rest on the sides of the helmet to try and stabilize it, yet it still tips over off balance after adjusting. Leon lets out a snort, and this time, he's only half-embarrassed.

"How do you fight in this? I can't see anything."

Leon wordlessly pulls the visor up. His heart pounds at the sight of your flushed face and messy hair.

"Ohh. What if an arrow lands in my face, though?"

"I can assure you, you won't be getting into that sort of situation anytime soon."

"You seem very sure of yourself, Leon."

"Of course, it's my duty to protect you."

"...Do you enjoy it?"

"What? Protecting you?"

You nod, "Yes."

"I look forward to it every day."

The two of you share a wide smile, beaming at the intimacy of this interaction, and you two have never felt closer. I want to kiss you, is all Leon can think about.

Right as he was mindlessly leaning in, you let out a small laugh for whatever reason, and Leon is forever grateful that you do, because it snaps him out of his trance, and he feels so stupid for trying to make a move on you.

"That's good. I don't think armor suits me very much anyways." You clumsily take his helmet off of your head, and rest it by your hip.

"I'm glad to have you protecting me, Leon. I'm so happy to have you by my side every day, not even as a knight, but as a companion." You say this so demurely, looking down at your lap with a cherubic expression on your face that has his heart pounding in his strong chest.

Then, you just had to look up at him, and meet his lovestruck stare, and maybe he's gone crazy from how flustered he's been all day, but he swears he can see the same look in your eyes.

Leon throws out whatever he was last thinking straight out the window, encases your wrists in his hands, and kisses you.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

[theangrycomet-art]

TFA: Ariel/Elita 1's Squadron, Team Orthia

I fell down the wiki rabbit hole last night and now I have these.

Everyone's heights are off/going to change in the future because I wasn't sure on everyone's alts when I was first drawing out the line up.

I mostly just wanted to get ideas down on paper.

COMMISSIONS OPEN

Transcript of my Handwriting Plus Other Lore:

Nothing here’s set in stone I just wrote down ideas/compiled thoughts as they came to me.

edit: Changed Lancer’s Profile Info to match new ideas I have

TFA: Sheild of Solus

Operation: Failsafe

Purpose: To sabotage any and all Decipticon efforts of gaining any headway in this war. First, start off with the infiltrators, next, hit them where it hurts.

After discovering a spy had infiltrated their ranks, Alpha Trion took it upon himself to assemble a team to sabotage any Decipticon efforts to gain a foothold on Cybertron, hoping that they would be able to counter any threats on Cybertron.

Ariel/Elita-1

Commander and the Leader

High-ranking member of the Elite Guard

Alpha Trion’s inside eyes

Alt Mode: Cybertronian Heavy Duty Truck -> Monster Truck

Special Upgrade: Classified

Good-Morningstar Mace: Morning star with detachable head

Laser Kusarigama: This weighted chain serves Elita well when she needs to tie up the enemy (or retrieve your teammate as her gravity fluctuates again)

Tidbit: One of the few of the Elite Guard to not have gone to the Academy, Elita rose through the ranks through her skill and ingenuity, despite other’s misgivings. A bit rough around the edges, she is always there for her fellow bots. When her former mentor requested her aid in his mission, she had no hesitation joining. (It helped that it got her away from her more tiresome coworkers)  

Chromia

Second in Command

Recon Specialist, Infiltrator

Former Intelligence Officer; she retired when she was not allowed to investigate Highbrows abrupt disappearance and opened a private investigator business.

Alt Mode: Cybertronian Trike -> Trike (like Harley-Davidson Tri Glide Ultra)

Special Upgrade: Lockpick: with enough time she can pick any lock and hack into any systems with the extensions in her servos. However, this can takes a lot of her processing power and leaves her vulnerable.

Laser Sabre: Good for clashing blades and slipping between the seams of an enemy’s armor

Tidbit: Despite her worrying over her teammates, Chromia has a habit of diving helm first into her work with little disregard for herself, whether that be forgetting to refuel and recharge or tempting fate with more self-sacrificial tendencies. She’s been working on it, but bad habits die hard…

Novastar

Search and Rescue, Transportation and Retrieval

Served in the tail-end of the Great War

Worked previously in Search and Rescue with her partners Inferno and Red Alert

Through this line of work, she developed extensive connections.

AltMode: Cybertronian Truck -> Narrowbed Truck

Special Upgrade: Furnace: Nova is able to generate massive bursts of flame, and she has refined the practice into an art. The flames on her head are no only an aesthetic choice, but an outlet for the excess heat she generates. These are easily extinguished; a fact Inferno took great joy in abusing the damn firetruck bot.

Blowtorch: During her time in field during the Great War, Nova lost her left servo to a Decpticon when retrieving soldiers from behind enemy lines. She had it replaced with a blowtorch prothesis that allows her to pinpoint flames to temperatures that can cut through even the toughest of materials- temperatures that otherwise would melt her frames

Tidbit: Novastar has been trying to locate Inferno, who has recently gone MIA after responding to an off-planet distress beacon with a new recruit with little to no luck. She is hoping the new job title will grant her greater resources to expand her search.

Greenlight

Engineer

“The Miracle Worker”

A student of WheelJack’s

Greenlight’s inventions can be brilliantly or devastating (or if she’s lucky) both. She tends to get attached to her devices, however, and gets rather despondent when they are broken or do not work as intended.

Aloof, she doesn’t see the need to waste much time with small talk. It requires a bot with a lot of patience (and ability to pester) to get her to come out of her shell

Alt Mode: Cybertronian Offroader

Special Upgrade: Tasers: Though not a combat bot, Greenlight saw fit to mod herself out with some decent defense. The tasers stored in her arms can generate enough volts of electricity that can through bots thrice her size flat on their backs.

Boom Cannon: A weapon still in its testing phases, she has been building it up from stolen Decepticon specs in her free time.

Tidbit: If asked, Greenlight will say that she agreed to sign up to get out of community service for accidentally demoing a perfectly good lab with one of her inventions. While partly true, a larger part of why she joined was because she didn’t want Lancer doing this alone.

Lancer [Edited]

Researcher

Unofficial Medic

Student of Perceptor

Alt Mode: n/a, missing T-Cog

Special Upgrade: FlipScreen: her “skirt” doubles as computers, monitor and keyboard included. This grants her access to ALL of her files and more importantly allows her to run any necessary scans, analysis, or algorithms she needs when or wherever she needs. It is also a bold fashion statement

BackPack Variety Hour: She has a variety of “backpacks” each serving different purposes, though if you ask anyone but Lancer they all look identical. Despite their incredible weight, she carries them with ease.

Backup Generator: Via the generator on her back, she could keep a city fully powered without straining her spark. Most of this energy goes into the powering the extra processors she has stored in her “skirt”

Star Splitter: a powerful laser spear, though she more often then not uses it for pole vaulting than actual combat

Tidbit: Lancer has been a researcher for the Autobots for longer than many bots have been alive, mostly regarding projects Ultra Magnus would rather not go public. Despite the JetTwins being by far the most successful of these endeavors, Lancer quit shortly after. When Alpha Trion offered her a more savory research position with Twam Orthia she was quick to accept and get out from Ultra Magnus’ thumb.

Moonracer

Sharpshooter/Sniper

“Best in the Whole Galaxy!”

Graduated top of her classes at the Autobot Academy but has struggled to keep a longterm position due to her impulsive behavior, with her last job being messenger-bot for Security.

Alt Mode: Cybertron Compact Car -> Vector W8

Special Upgrade: Internal Gravity Manipulator: As labelled on the tin, she has the ability to shift her gravity, decreasing AND increasing. Typically, she uses this to “float” or “moon walk”. The change in gravity can be extended to objects she comes into direct contact, but maintaining it drains her very quickly.

Velicotron Build: Speedster Though not as fast as the infamous Blurr, Moonracer is incredibly quick both as a bot and her alt form. Combine this with her gravity-defying abilities leads to some devastating results.

Custom Ion Pistols: Dual pistols that can combine into her sniper rifle.

Tidbit: Moonracer is a good bot with a good head on her shoulders. She will always do what she thinks is right- but she tends to jump the gun on things which gets her into trouble. With inexperience comes naivety, but how is she supposed to learn anything if nobody gives her a chance to do anything?  

Individual Shots

[daisyofwaterdeep]

DAISY OF WATERDEEP SAVE ME DAISY OF WATERDEEP. i donr know if commissions are open hell i dont know if you even TAKE commissions but i am BEGGIBG YOU. WITH MY WHOLE HEART AND SOUL FOR A PART TWO OF THAT CAUGHT ROLAN FIC. you get rolan better than literally everonelse PLSSS. (but for real dont feel pressured if you dont wanna write this just wanna say how amazing ur writting is 🤩)

Read part 1 here!

'Caught?' Part 2

Rolan/femcis!Reader !NSFW!

__ You're not really sure what the entire game plan is here, but you know that you have one goal in mind: to rile Rolan up.

After the events of the previous day, you know that riling him up is easy. But getting him to act-- well, that seems like it's going to be a real challenge. One that you're not sure you'll be able to pull off, but damned if it's not going to be fun to try.

You take longer than usual getting ready for work. Hair, nails, makeup-- you primp and preen yourself to perfection before shimmying into one of your favorite date-night dresses. It's modest by some standards, but the low-cut neck and cinched waist do plenty to accentuate your assets, and you're sure it won't go unnoticed by a certain wizard.

You step into Sorcerous Sundries to start your shift, your plan in motion the instant Rolan's eyes fall on you.

"Good morning!" You wave at him from his place up the stairs.

You're grateful for the glow of his eyes, because it makes it all too easy to see them drag down the length of your body from this distance.

"Morning." He returns curtly before going back to fussing with an animated armor.

You frown at the back of his head, displeased with the lack of reaction. You'll have to try a little harder, it seems.

You saunter around the counter and ascend the stairs, lifting the length of your dress to the side so you don't trip.

"What are you doing?" You ask as you approach Rolan, his hands pulsing with a dim light as they roam over the armor's breast plate.

His eyes dart over to you for a moment, and you don't miss how they flick down to your cleavage for a split second before returning to his task.

"Some minor upgrades to security."

"Ooh, like what?" You close the distance between the two of you, standing at his side as he works.

The flowing movement of Rolan's arms become jerky and stiff as you lean forward, giving him a whiff of your perfume.

"I'm j-just--" Rolan clears his throat and ends the spell wordlessly, the glow wreathing his hands dissipating. "Can I help you with something?"

"Sorry," You say innocently, taking a step back and folding your hands behind your back, "Am I distracting you?"

Rolan turns his head to address you properly, and you swear that you can physically see him fighting the urge to look at your tits. And is it just a trick of the light, or do his cheeks look a deeper red right now?

"Yes, a bit." Rolan's words are as tight as his expression.

"Sorry," you say again, "I'll just ask then....would you be willing to cast a water repellent spell on me?" You jerk your head towards the door, "I think it's getting ready to storm, and I didn't bring my umbrella..."

"It should pass by the end of your shift."

"Probably, but I have to sign off on a shipment coming in from the docks before then."

Rolan's eyebrows raise before setting into a scowl. "No. You can't go to the docks."

"What?" You blink at him, "Why not?"

"Because--" Rolan's eyes dip down to your cleavage before snapping back up, "B-because those men down there are uncouth."

"I've signed off on plenty of shipments," You insist, "You never objected then."

"Yes, well, I didn't want you to do it those other times either." Rolan is talking fast, his voice hard with annoyance. "And I definitely can't have you going down there dressed like--" He manages to stop his words, but not his eyes. They stutter down to your tits again, and it's just then that he realizes that his hands are still on the enchanted armor-- splayed out on the breast plate, like he's groping it. He jerks his hands back like it's burned him, and he hurriedly straightens up. "Just...let me do it."

"Wait wait," You wag your finger accusatorily at him, other hand on your hip, "Dressed like what, exactly?"

Rolan is obviously uncomfortable. There's no denying the deep blush on his cheeks now, and his fingers pick over the front of his robes in search of something to do.

"Nothing." He finally says, flinging a hand in the air as if to bat away the conversation. "I'll finish the upgrades after we open."

Rolan makes to walk past you, but you grab his arm.

"You can't be the one to storm away," You're not really sure what more you're expecting to get out of him, but you're not ready for your button-pushing to stop. "Not when you're the one who insulted me."

"Insult you?" Rolan scoffs and shakes his arm out of your grasp, as if that too is burning him. "It was a compliment, if anything."

You can feel your cheeks prickle at that, but you maintain your faux grumpiness. "Not by any standards that I know of."

"Take it however you want. I have things to do." Rolan begins marching down the stairs, his back to you. "Scrolls and...tomes..."

He continues mumbling his oh-so busy yet oh-so vague list of things to do until he's well out of earshot. You watch as he walks, controlled and stiff, towards the supply room.

Already? You thought it'd be nearly impossible to get him back in there, but it seems that he's easier to break than you had anticipated. It really makes you rack your brain-- Rolan has a habit of ending conversations whenever he feels like it, but just how often did those conversations lead him to the supply room? You should have paid more attention...

Either way, this is your chance to corner him. To confront him. You need to act fast.

Holding the bottom of your dress up, you descend the stairs two at a time, heart hammering and adrenaline spiking.

By the time you make it to the supply room door, you feel like a sweating wreck. Part of you wants to use it as an excuse to turn back, but you dab the sheen of sweat away with your sleeve and fan your arms in an attempt to cool down.

This is it. You got this. You can do this.

As calm as you can manage, you lean your ear against the door and listen.

"Stupid....stupid..."

There's no accompanying noises, just the sad, frustrated quiver of Rolan's voice.

It's heartbreaking, yes, but also perfect for your idea. You have no clue how well it'll work, but there's only one way to find out.

You open the door, heart in your throat as you step into the dim room. There's no windows in the storeroom, only torches that dot the wall at even intervals. It seems Rolan has forgone lighting them, instead casting a set of dancing lights that float up above, giving the room a warm, shifting glow.

"Rolan?" You call, spotting his figure a ways into the room, his body turned partially from you and his forehead against a shelf of potions.

As soon as you call out, he straightens himself and whips around, the enchanted lights nearly flickering out in his surprise.

"What?" He barks, reminding you all too much of a cornered animal lashing out.

You step into the room and close the door, buying yourself time to choose your words carefully.

"...I'm sorry." You walk towards him and stop a few feet away, just enough to clearly see his face. "I know you didn't mean anything bad with your comment." Rolan is still visibly guarded, so you add on, "I won't go to the docks, if you don't want me to."

Rolan's lips tighten and he gives you a long, silent look before turning to his side and fussing with the bottles on the shelf, clearly doing nothing of importance but trying to appear that he is.

"Forget it. I was being childish." He pretends to be heavily invested in the label of an elixir before setting it down with a clack. "Let me know when you're about to leave, I'll cast the spell on you then."

You take another step closer, "Rolan, are you upset with me?"

He scoffs, casting an incredulous look at you as he straightens a row of healing potions. "Of course not." He picks up another bottle and swirls the liquid around as his voice dips into something more conversational, though you detect the prying edge in his words, "So what's the occasion, anyways?"

You take in a deep breath, stomach tumbling as if you're in free fall as you say a single, simple word.

"You."

Rolan freezes, his glowing eyes wide as they stare sightlessly at the shelf, not daring to drag them over to you. You can't begin to imagine the thoughts that are flying through his mind right now.

A few moments pass like that, and it's clear that he doesn't plan to move or respond. He's waiting for you to continue, to inevitably add more to the conversation that will prove him wrong on what he's thinking, or maybe even to exclaim that it's a joke.

You take another deep, steadying breath. "I wanted your attention."

"....Alright." Rolan says carefully, finally turning away from the shelf to face you directly. He looks nervous, lips twitching and eyes restlessly darting. But you can tell-- it's not all just nerves. There's a layer of excitement there, too. His wandering eyes finally lock onto yours, and his voice lowers, barely audible yet still booming in your ears with the weight of it. "You have it. Now what?"

It's a clear invitation. Rolan wants you to take control of this situation-- maybe he's scared to overstep your boundaries, or maybe he's not entirely convinced that you actually want him. Judging by the things you've heard him say to himself, you suspect that it's a terrible blend of the two.

But that's fine, because you're going to show him just how much he's worthy of you.

Slowly, deliberately, you reach up and put a hand on his chest. You push him lightly, and he obediently steps backwards once, twice, then his back connects with the shelf with a clatter of clanking glass. Rolan doesn't blink-- his eyes are trained on you, almost like he's challenging, begging you to do more.

"Am I allowed to touch you?" You trace a fingertip over the intricacies of his silver shoulder piece, head tilted up to keep your eyes on his.

"Yeah," Rolan nearly groans out the word before he wets his lips and you see his adam's apple bob as he swallows, "I mean...yes."

"Where?"

"Gods," Rolan breathes, the points of his teeth shining in the dim light as he pants, "Please, don't tease me..."

"Sorry," You grin up at him, conveying the exact opposite, "You're just really cute right now...I didn't know you could be so docile."

"Docile?" He lets out a sharp exhale from his nose and you swear that his lips pucker out just the slightest, "I am not docile."

"Yeah?" You run your hands down his chest, loving the way the ridges of his ribs make your fingers jump. Rolan sucks in a breath and you can feel the muscles of his stomach tighten and quiver as your hands continue down. "Prove it."

Rolan's nostrils flare at that, the muscle in his jaw flexing as he looks you over. He wants to do something, that much is clear, but his nerves are still holding him back. So you decide to give him one last little push.

You raise up on your toes, bringing your mouths closer together, close enough that you can feel the warmth of his breath against your lips-- but only for a moment, because he holds in his next breath as your breasts press against his chest.

"Don't you want me?"

It's enough to finally break him. Rolan's hands grab your hips with a surprising, bruising strength as his head dips forward, his mouth hot and devouring against yours.

You feel naive to have thought that you were the one in control. His mouth is dominating, rolling against yours with an intoxicating mixture of passion and inexperience. You try to match his vigor but struggle to sync up with him, so instead, you submit. You let Rolan lick and suck and kiss you however he pleases, your head swimming with the hot slickness of his tongue and the rough, hungry drag of his teeth.

It's overwhelming in the best way, and it only gets better when his hands find your chest. His groping is more gentle than his kissing, but you can still feel the bite of his claws as he lifts your tits to enjoy the weight of them in his hands, kneading and pressing them together as he moans into your mouth.

Even though both of you are fighting for air when he finally pulls back, you can't help but whine and try to follow his mouth, not ready for him to stop.

"Gods, so soft, every bit of you..." His lips glisten with saliva and his eyes are burning as he squeezes your tits hard to accentuate his point, hungrily watching as the line of your cleavage swells.

"You haven't gotten to feel every bit of me," You take the opportunity to do some groping of your own, feeling along the lithe strength of his arms, then the taper of his chest to his waist "At least, not yet."

Rolan swallows roughly as your hands finally venture down his robes, feeling the taut muscles in his thighs. He spreads his legs immediately, welcoming your touch, and you can see the hard shape of his cock even through the layers of clothing.

"Poor thing," You coo sweetly, dragging your hands teasingly closer to it, "You're pent up, aren't you?"

Rolan's hands go to grip you by your upper arms as he begins panting again, each exhale holding the smallest shiver of a moan at the end. The sound is intoxicating, and it gets all the sweeter as you finally place a hand over his erection, fingers contouring to it's shape. Rolan's body reacts immediately and intensely to the light touch, trembling and bucking as he lets out a high, needy moan.

"This is what you wanted, isn't it?" You keep your eyes on him, loving the way he fights to do the same as his face twitches and his cock throbs against your hand, "You wanted me to touch you like this, right?"

"Yes, please, yes--" Rolan's voice tumbles into something nearing a cry as you press your palm down softly and begin to rub him through his robes, "Fuck, f-fuck--"

The shifting lights above flicker out just as Rolan's body curls inward in a rough jerk. In the darkness, you feel the weight of him nearly crumple to the floor before he stumbles into balance. His cock flexes against your hand in strong, desperate pulses as Rolan gasps around throaty groans, his claws digging into your arms.

"Fuck," He says again, but his voice is now wavering with embarrassment.

"Gods, Rolan..." You ease the pressure on his cock but don't remove your hand, hypnotized by the spent thumping of it against your palm, "You're so--"

"Please," Rolan cuts you off dismally, his fingers loosening their grip on you as you hear the shelf behind him rattle once more. "Spare me the niceties, I'm humiliated enough."

"Don't be." You press your body against his, once again standing on tiptoes to peck a kiss against his chin, then his neck. "I can't tell you how hot that was....wanting me so bad you couldn't control yourself." You kiss his neck once more, letting the tip of your tongue press against his skin for the briefest of moments, "I just wish I could've seen your face when you came."

Rolan's body shivers and relaxes the slightest bit as you kiss up his jaw before finding his mouth. Now that he's managed to calm down, you get to be the one to guide the kiss. It's tender, slow, the each of you relishing the feeling of the other. You could stand there all day, body pressed against him, lips together, breath entwining, but you know there's other matters that need to be attended to.

"Rolan," You pull away, pecking a kiss on the tip of his nose before finally stepping back, your hands finding his in the darkness. "It's probably time for the shop to open."

"Zurgan," Rolan hisses under his breath, "It probably is. But you-- I didn't get to--"

You know exactly what he's going to say and give his hands a squeeze. "Next time."

"Next time..." Rolan says the words with a sort of awe that makes you grin like an idiot. You hear him suck in a breath, and the hands in yours squeeze back. "Next time, certainly. I'll...take care of you. The way you deserve."

"I know you will." You raise his hand to your mouth and place a soft kiss on the back of his knuckles. "I'll open. You should probably change."

"Y-yes....thank you."

"We'll need the lights on first, though."

Rolan goes silent for a moment.

"Oh."

He gives your hands one last squeeze before releasing you, and you hear the rustle of fabric as he mutters a spell. The room lights up once more, the glowing orbs floating lazily above your heads.

Rolan looks at you, head turned down slightly and bottom lip trapped between his teeth. It looks like he has something to say, so you wait patiently, smiling at him to help ease his worries.

"I'm..." Rolan starts, stops, shakes his head, then starts again. "I've thought about you...I mean, I've wanted..." Rolan exhales sharply from his nose and shakes his head again before giving a shy smile. "I'm just very happy right now."

You can't help yourself. With a big, goofy grin, you raise up on your toes and kiss him again.

"Me too."

[mildcharacterenjoyer]

E 123 Omega is an adorably lethal robo boi and you can't prove it to me otherwise.

Here are some of my adorable headcannons for him.

Once he gets enough storage for ammunition that he doesn't care about wasting some, he blasts any and all signs of Eggman icons or brand names he sees no matter where they are. Even if they are just stickers or shown on a screen. He angy and want revenge.

Omega has the ability to pick up metaphors, hyperbole, sarcasm, memes, and hand signals fairly quickly. But sometimes he uses them slightly wrong due to a logging error or a misunderstanding from the source he learned it from. He flipped the bird way too often when he first learned what it meant.

He wishes he could eat, especially when the food is presented well. He tries to play off his stares like he doesn't care, but he's not fooling anyone.

He kicks things when he's angry. Which is often, but usually when he is frustrated with another robot or some inanimate object. He has kicked some of Sonic's larger friends before, such as Storm or Vector.

Omega falls prey to Rouge's flirts. She persuades him very easily.

Omega is extremely touch starved, but has no idea that he is or what it even means. He lacks the basic nervous system to register that kind of sensation. He has pain receptors which flare up whenever his armor or his internal systems are damaged. He has never minded that feeling no matter how intense.

Once Omega discovered sports existed, he didn't really get it. They were not destroying each other or the ball, "boring". It took a great deal of explaining from multiple different angles that it was tests of strength and skill against each other or the other team. Omega slowly warmed up to the idea and started watching along with the others.

Omega has grown a fondness for Tails over the time the fox has spent fixing or upgrading him. Their first couple meetings were rocky, but nothing resolving misunderstandings couldn't fix.

Omega has in fact imagined himself with a tail before. He has yet to find the one that would fit his threatening and lethal vibes.

Despite just how much ammo and fire power can fit within his body, Omega always tops off whenever and wherever he can. Even if he just uses one bullet and has spare time, he'll reload.

Rouge gave him a physical angry meter when they first formed Team Dark so he could better communicate his emotions with his teammates. For at least three years it was always set to max. When he started allowing himself to more frequently log other emotions, Omega changed it accordingly. It is now rarely set to max.

Omega eventually wants to test his fire power in sparring matches against all of Sonic's friends. He keeps a checklist of who he battles.

When Rouge first picked Omega up off the ground and flew around with him he was extremely impressed. He dare not ask for it, lest Rouge use it against him.

Omega wants Shadow to talk to him more often. He takes it somewhat personally whenever the hedgehog takes down robots without him to assist.

Omega has a personal mirror that he carries around. It has two uses: he burns things with its reflection and magnification, or he just looks at himself. He admires himself a lot.

Drawing and/or coloring pictures of Omega is the fastest way to his heart if you are a child or if you want him to like you. He loves fanmail.

The most balanced out Omega's emotions had ever been, was when both Shadow and Rouge were sitting on his shoulders and they were just talking about a past mission. That was the closest he ever felt to peace.

[ponett]

Bobby's 2023 Media Wrap-Up

So! Like I said before, this past year I kept a running list of everything I watched, every game I finished, every new album I listened to, etc., and wrote one-paragraph blurbs with my thoughts on every single one. Please enjoy this journey through everything I liked, or didn't like, in 2023, with my favorites of the year listed at the bottom.

(Yes! This is long!!)

Some notes:

I mainly only included things I finished. Exceptions are marked with an asterisk.

I included some YouTube stuff as "TV shows" - mostly particularly long, high effort video essays and documentaries.

I was a bit less adventurous than I'd like to have been this year. Part of this was just that I felt like I was constantly playing catch-up with Big Releases I felt obligated to check out, and part of this was just executive dysfunction from burnout. Wait until you see how long it took me to beat Mario Wonder lmao

Yes, I need to read more books. I don't read a lot of books these days. I need to get back to Discworld.

COLOR KEY

Video Games • TV / Web Video  •  Movies  •  Comics  •  Music

January

1/15: Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn (MSQ) - Very slow at times, the Primal shit is generally extremely lame to me outside of the boss fights themselves, but god if the quality of life improvements over WoW, the JRPG energy, and the fact that it Actually Has A Story carry it pretty hard.

1/18: Sonic the Hedgehog: Scrapnik Island miniseries - One of the most creative and compelling uses of the Sonic IP… ever? Fantastic little self-contained arc about the struggles of Eggman’s abandoned creations that gracefully weaves between heartfelt optimism and moody horror with some of the best art ever seen in a Sonic comic.

1/18: Mega Man X4 - Glad I finally actually beat this after never even beating any of the Mavericks as a kid! I can see why it’s a lot of peoples’ favorites. The gameplay has very little of that X series bloat and is just fun, especially after getting X’s armor upgrades. (But the story really is a long series of missed opportunities.)

February

2/2: Donks - Felix Colgrave continues to be an exceptional artist. The sound design on this is fantastic and really sells this short as something unique. Had to go back and watch his older stuff again after this.

2/4: Final Fantasy XIV: Heavensward (3.0 - 3.3 MSQ) - I get it now. I get why people say this is just a proper mainline Final Fantasy game built into the framework of an MMO. That shit ruled. Not even walking back the drama in Ul’Dah from the end of ARR can sour me on it because the main storyline was so strong.

2/8: Disneyland's Forgotten Sci-Fi Rock Band - Live From the Space Stage - A nice and honest tribute to a group of artists who could have easily been forgotten. In hindsight this feels like a precursor to Kevin’s Disney Channel jingle video, a tribute to the unsung artists pouring their hearts into “lesser” art for a megacorporation, art that was designed to be transient but sticks with people nonetheless.

2/9: Metroid Prime Remastered* - Not gonna finish because I just played through the Wii version in 2021, but still. Very, very pretty remaster.

2/16: Theatrhythm Final Bar Line - It’s more Theatrhythm. What more could I want

2/17: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stone Ocean (anime) - Probably the best part of the anime so far (assuming they continue on to SBR). A near perfect mix of the more structured plot of part 5 with the goofiness of parts 3 and 4 that crescendos into a fantastic, bombastic, emotional, bittersweet ending. The use of footage from the original opening and the new ending set to Roundabout in the finale were perfect, and made me intensely nostalgic for the early days of my JoJo fandom between seasons 1 and 2 of the anime.

2/22: Aggretsuko Season 5 - I don’t really know what to make of this one. Once you get past the agonizing initial arc all about Haida where Retsuko has to be his overbearing mommy GF who flips out and starts spying on him when she’s left on read and chides him when he misbehaves, it feels like an improvement over the previous seasons. But I don’t know how much of that is due to the extremely low bar set by season 4. And then the ending is extremely rushed and anticlimactic. They got legally married and the only acknowledgement was a shot of them signing the paperwork in a montage partway through the final episode?????????

2/24: Double Fine PsychOdyssey - God, what a journey the making of this game was. I already loved 2 Player’s past efforts at documenting Double Fine’s process, but this takes it to a whole new level. This feels culturally significant. The depth and honesty with which they depict not just the nitty gritty of making a game, but also the inherent struggles of working on a collaborative creative work for years at a time, is astounding. Not to mention that they were there to capture the shift from office life to remote work as COVID hit. So much of this would have been nightmarishly stressful to watch if I didn’t already know how successful the game was, but that’s just because they really didn’t sugarcoat it. And yet even after all that, it leaves me feeling optimistic about video games as an art form in a way that the constant headlines about cynical live service games don’t. There are still people out there pouring their hearts into making real art, and this is their story. Everyone who plays video games should watch this.

2/25: Cracker Island (Gorillaz) - New Gorillaz albums feel like less of an event these days, but after Humanz it feels like they’re just more chill with the project and their ambitions with it. Every couple years we get some more laid back jams from Damon along with some fun new collabs. Hard to complain. Favorite track: New Gold

2/25: Pool Kids (Pool Kids) - I discovered this band because Derek knows them and was excited when they got a song added to Fortnite through the Bandcamp collab. Always down to find more cool indie rock bands I can vibe with. The mix of dreamy vocals and energetic riffs on some of the tracks here almost fill the Crying-shaped hole in my heart. Almost… Favorite track: Conscious Uncoupling

2/25: Insane in the Rain (insaneintherainmusic) - I thought it was really funny timing when Carlos announced that his first original project would be a jazz fusion album inspired by acts like T-Square and Casiopea right as I was getting into those two specific bands. The final product does not disappoint. Favorite track: Insane in the Rain

2/26: Get Up Sequences Part Two (The Go! Team) - I’ve never been one to believe that a band’s sound has to remain exactly the same forever, but it really does hit you hard that the first two tracks here sound like classic The Go! Team. Their more recent cleaner sound is still here too, though, for a nice mix of old and new. Favorite track: Divebomb

2/28: Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch From Mercury (Season 1) - Oh my god. Oh my god. I got distracted around the time I was finishing SLARPG, but finally catching up now, wow. My assumption that the seemingly lighter tone of the series compared to the prologue was there to lull us into a false sense of security before twisting the knife when war finally breaks out was spot on. This is peak Gundam.

March

3/4: Pizza Tower - One of the best platformers I’ve played in a long time. It transcends its blatant Wario Land inspirations with the sheer speed at which Peppino can move and the way things like the level design, his wall running, and even the hidden ability to do a second lap around the level reward getting into a flow state where you’re just constantly moving. This is the type of game that wants to turn you into a speedrunner. My only real complaint is a few iffy enemy designs that I wish would get patched.

3/6: Bloons TD 6 * - I bought this before bed one night on a nostalgic whim and then the next morning woke up and saw the Steam receipt email on my phone in one of the most “what did I do last night” moments of my life. I like when the monkeys pop the balloons.

3/7: The Book of Boba Fett - I put off finishing this show for a very long time but finally caved upon the release of The Mandalorian season 3. This show spends four episodes failing to make me give a shit about Boba Fett trying to be “the daimyo” and drive the drug trade off of Tatooine, then just gives up and becomes season 2.5 of Mando, which in turn feels like it undercuts the main series. It fails as both its own story and as a spinoff. I know that finishing this after Andor did it no favors, but WHOOF.

3/12: Obi-Wan Kenobi - Some interesting ideas in the first half hinting at a more introspective show, but it’s mostly swept aside in the back half so it can become a generic Star Wars adventure remixing things from A New Hope and Rebels (and apparently Jedi: Fallen Order). Action scenes have zero stakes because you know nothing can happen to any of the returning characters and none of the new ones are particularly interesting. Why there’s a second climax hinging on a Luke Skywalker death fakeout eludes me. Obi-Wan throwing the rocks at Vader is one of the funniest things in Star Wars history. But it was still better than Book of Boba Fett, I guess.

3/19: The King of Braves GaoGaiGar - Wow, cool robot indeed… GaoGaiGar isn’t going to blow anyone away with its writing, but sometimes you just need a really fun monster of the week mecha show with great action and lovably goofy characters. This is a show where like 20% of every episode consists of recycled transformation, combination, and signature attack sequences and I ate it up every time because they look fucking cool as hell. I don’t care. I’d watch Final Fusion another 49 times.

3/21: The Last of Us (HBO) * - Watched the first two episodes out of curiosity, but I’m not sure if I’ll continue because I don’t give a shit about The Last of Us. It’s definitely a well done adaptation, though, even if I know it’s inevitably going to devolve into miserable torture porn with questionable politics if they adapt Part II faithfully. The ending of episode 2 also lines up perfectly with where I stopped in the game in 2013 lmao

3/27: The Future is a Dead Mall - Decentraland and the Metaverse (Folding Ideas) - Another banger from Dan Olson. This time the premise inherently gives him more time to just show off a bunch of stupid ugly bullshit made by crypto guys, which is fun. My main complaint was that I wished he would’ve brought up Second Life more as a point of comparison (a thing I basically always want out of discussion of “the metaverse”), but he at least did touch on it in the last section.

3/31: The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog - I can’t believe after years of begging for the supporting cast to get more and better material in a Sonic game I got my wish in the form of a freeware murder mystery VN released for April Fools. This kicked ass.

April

4/7: Berserk - Completed Miura’s run and caught up on the chapters that have been released posthumously. It’s hard to say anything that hasn’t been said about Berserk, universally agreed upon as one of the greats of manga and fantasy fiction as a whole. What begins in its first few volumes as a nihilistic and edgy action comic built to facilitate as much sex and gore as possible quickly evolves into something deeply human and vulnerable and beautiful, both figuratively and in terms of its lavish art. The world sucks and is immeasurably cruel, and you will see that cruelty illustrated in graphic, sickening detail repeatedly throughout the series. (Perhaps a little too often throughout the Golden Age, where it feels like Miura never misses an opportunity to threaten Casca with sexual assault mid-battle.) But the point isn’t to wallow in that misery. It’s the story of a victim of horrific abuse learning to slowly open up to others, having those people he cares about torn away from him in the worst night of his life, hardening himself into a cold killing machine, and then slowly learning to open back up again, even if it means leaving himself vulnerable to more hurt. Anyone who says that the series peaked with the eclipse and went downhill in the “Guts’ JRPG Party” era is missing the point. Guts needed to find new people in his life to care about, to begin to find happiness again. Because no matter what unspeakable things Guts has gone through, it’s still possible for him to heal and to be loved. It takes time, but eventually you stop and realize that life has moved on.

4/8: Dedede’s Drum Dash Deluxe - Skipped it upon release because I didn’t particularly care for the minigame in Triple Deluxe, and I didn’t miss much. It’s fine as a little distraction, but not as a standalone rhythm game with only seven songs. If you don’t bother with the hard modes or chase after high scores this game is 15 minutes long. Oh how I yearn for Kirby to get the Theatrhythm treatment.

4/10: The King of Braves: GaoGaiGar FINAL - Eh… It was okay. Lots of cool robot fights, but said fights are stitched together with a mediocre plot that tries too hard to be more “mature” than its unabashedly schlocky kids’ show predecessor. Not crazy about the ending, either, which tries to be a bittersweet farewell closing off the series once and for all while also teasing that maybe there’ll be ANOTHER sequel after the OVA series they literally called “FINAL.” Ah well.

4/11: The Owl House - Sad to see this one go, but it’s hard to imagine them doing a better finale than this, even if they had gotten the six seasons they deserved. I’m not as obsessed with The Owl House as I probably would’ve been had it come out when I was, like, 20, but it’s a really fantastic show for all the reasons people always say. Great characters, great world, great story. I love that this starry-eyed fantasy story about a teenager finding love and a place where she belongs is also set on the rotting corpse of a titan with Hieronymous Bosch-inspired scenery and freaky monsters everywhere. What a great mix. If anything, I just wish I would’ve watched the first season as it aired so I could’ve had more time with it.

4/29: Mega Man Battle Network 3: Blue Version - FINALLY beat this via the new collection, 20 years after playing it as my first Mega Man game. (Technically my first was White, not Blue, but whatever.) There are more annoyances than I remember - lots of really really bad forced backtracking sections where you have to revisit every previous part of the internet, low chip drop rates, some really aggravating bosses like BubbleMan and KingMan, etc. But it’s still a great time overall. It’s Battle Network. In the back half the story gets surprisingly emotional, too. I was always under the assumption that the Hub stuff never came back up much in the story after 1, so I was pleasantly surprised with how relevant it was to the emotional arc of 3.

4/30: Mega Man Battle Network 4: Red Sun * - Yeah I’m not playing through the whole thing lmao. I just wanted to play the first couple hours for nostalgia’s sake, and as a baseline for how much better the rest are. Even before getting deep in the game and having to deal with all the shit gated between doing two new game+ playthroughs, it’s immediately obvious how much of a downgrade this one is. Tons of glaring errors and typos all over the script, blander music, a way more boring aesthetic for the internet, and a premise that mostly just recycles the tournament idea from 3.

May

5/14: The Venture Bros. - Glad I finally sat down and watched all of this with Anthony after having seen one (1) episode as a teenager and a bunch of random clips in the years since. Great show. Some jokes in the early seasons haven’t aged gracefully, but what the show grows into over time... man. Hank and Dean go from being the butt of the joke to being characters you actually sympathize with - while still also being funny little goofballs. And the journey Henchman 21 goes on throughout the show. Man. Amazing that a comedy like this could run for 20 years and maintain its level of quality. Can’t wait for the movie.

5/18: Future Me Hates Me (The Beths) - Okay yeah I’m now just discovering bands through Fortnite lmao. I can’t complain really, they pick some really great indie artists for the in-game radio stations. Anyway: It’s very easy to win me over with a combination of energetic power pop, catchy guitar riffs, and earnest lyrics like this. One of those albums where three or four tracks in I know I have to buy it. Favorite track: Not Running

5/18: Jump Rope Gazers (The Beths) - Ditto. Favorite track: Dying to Believe

5/18: Expert In A Dying Field (The Beths) - Another good album. (I’m listening to these in release order.) I’ve been a bit slower to warm up to this one, initially thinking it was a little too mellow overall, but it might be my favorite after a few listens. Some real high highs. Interestingly, the lead singer’s New Zealand accent is also coming out more in her singing? Favorite track: Your Side (or maybe Head in the Clouds)

5/19: The Super Mario Bros. Movie - As a Mario fan, I think I enjoyed it? As a movie, less so? It was decent, in spite of feeling like they came up with a list of fun action setpieces first and then wrote the absolute bare minimum possible for the story scenes tying it all together. Full thoughts here. (This is the first movie I’ve seen this year, huh? I really don’t watch a lot of movies.)

5/23: Don't Know What You're In Until You're Out (Gladie) - I feel like I don’t like Gladie as much as I should. Their style of noisy indie rock is very much in my wheelhouse, and I do enjoy listening to them, but I dunno. Maybe it’s that the particular style of vocals makes it more monotonous to me. A good album nonetheless, if not 100% my thing. Favorite track: Nothing

5/24: City Slicker (Ginger Root) - Yes I am still making my way through Bandcamp artists I heard on Fortnite don’t @ me. Any excuse to get me to listen to some cool city pop-inspired funk like this is a good excuse. Favorite track: Loretta

5/24: Rikki (Ginger Root) - Favorite track: Why Try

5/25: Spotlight People (Ginger Root) - Favorite track: The Classic

5/29: Succession - A good dramedy series that increasingly focuses more on the drama than the comedy as it progresses, but it’s hard to complain about that since the drama is so compellingly produced. I enjoyed it. That being said, I kind of rankle at the claims that it’s The Greatest TV Show Of All Time. It’s great, don’t get me wrong. Amazing performances all around. But the show LOVES to spin its wheels, to repeat itself, and to let most of its interesting dramatic developments fizzle out before anything really comes of them, almost as if the show is constantly getting bored with its own ideas. To some extent this is intentional - Logan Roy is the untouchable billionaire, his kids fail at everything (but will nonetheless remain billionaires), and in the long run none of them really give a shit about anything other than their own status. But it’s not like things tend to visibly impact anyone else, either, be they supporting characters or the world at large. Even the Big Scary Election, where the Roy siblings are directly responsible for plunging the nation into chaos, ultimately has zero impact on the finale a mere two episodes later. Certain Other Things do have an impact in the last season, though, allowing things to meaningfully change for the cast and for the show to sit with the ensuing drama, which has stopped me from souring on Succession more. There was finally a payoff for something. But it does still kind of feel like a show that goes in circles until it’s ready to call it quits, even if those circles did contain a lot of great acting and music along the way.

5/29: Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts - I’d watched the first 12 episodes when they originally released, but I guess the Netflix binge release and the fact that all three “seasons” came out in one year led to me waiting until it finished… and then I just never got around to finishing it. Glad I fixed that! Really fun and stylish cartoon with an art style reminiscent of Teen Titans, a hip hop-filled soundtrack, dynamic fight scenes, and a colorful post-apocalyptic world filled with mutant (mostly anthropomorphic) animals. I’ll admit that at times I do kinda roll my eyes at Kipo’s unshakeable belief that everyone can be friends in a way that I don’t necessarily with similar shows like Steven Universe, and not every joke lands, but I dunno. It’s a kids’ show. That’s to be expected. It doesn’t detract from the overall package for me.

June

6/1: Craig of the Creek (Season 4) - It’s been years and I’m still processing the fact that kids can turn on Cartoon Network and hear Jeff Rosenstock. Anyway! Craig continues to be one of the best cartoons on TV, consistently funny and creative and way more engaging than a show about a bunch of kids LARPing in the woods has any right to be. This season turned into One Piece with the gang effectively hunting down the Poneglyphs in search of a legendary treasure. The kids think it’ll be magic. It isn't. An increasing number of cartoon logic gags aside, this show is firmly set in the real world. Does that make it any less interesting? Hell no. Season 3 turned a game of capture the flag into an all-out five episode war between the heroes and villains, filled with dramatic turnabouts and a climactic guest appearance from Del the Funky Homosapien. I’m sure however they wrap things up in the (sadly shortened) final season, it’ll be great. (Also? I would watch a whole show based on that “what if” episode that jumped forward to everyone’s 20s.)

6/6: Barry - Holy shit, what a show. I ended up binging it in less than a week in a cycle of “okay, just one more episode.” The way this show is able to swing between tones and genres while still feeling like a cohesive whole is truly masterful. It’s a layered character drama, a tragic crime thriller, a farcical comedy, an understated action series, a surrealist morality play, and a scathing satire of Hollywood, all in one. Even within the criminal underworld subplots the show ranges in tone from Breaking Bad to Paddington 2. And it works! While the show naturally gets bleaker over time as it confronts the repercussions of Barry’s murders, it never completely loses sight of its comedic roots. My favorite episode was easily season 2’s “ronny/lily,” a mostly self-contained episode that somehow manages to keep throwing the perfect curveballs to escalate its dark comedy.

6/12: The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (Extended Edition) - Y’all heard of this movie? Pretty good, it turns out. (I’d seen the theatrical cut before, but this was my first time watching the extended edition. I’ve also only seen parts of the other two movies, so it’s time I finally watch all the extended cuts. The Gollum game pushed me to this.)

6/13: The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (Extended Edition) - give it to us RAW and WRIGGLING

6/17: The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Extended Edition) - I’m not crying YOU’RE crying

6/22: Clone High (Season 2) - While the first episode being about “cancel culture” (or, more accurately, a teenager from 2003 being transported to 2023 and putting his foot in his mouth a lot) put a lot of people off, I ended up enjoying the new season of Clone High. The new clones grew on me as the season went on and their roles in the web of teen romance melodrama crystalized, and it made me laugh a lot, and Cleo/Frida is galaxy brained. Also they played one of my favorite Antarctigo Vespucci songs like a minute into the first episode. I don’t think I could really ask for much more.

6/28: The Mandalorian (Season 3) - I'd been watching this weekly but put off the last episode for no real reason. Responses to this season have been all over the place, but my blistering hot take is… it was fine. Is it as good as the first season? Probably not. But Mando no longer needs to carry the whole franchise on its shoulders and set the bar for how good the live action Disney Star Wars shows can be, because Andor exists, and it’s never gonna top Andor. The Mandalorian is free to just be a pulpy space adventure show where Giancarlo Esposito plays a scenery-chewing cartoon villain and a little puppet does wire stunts. These are things Andor cannot and should not do, but that’s Star Wars, baby. It’s delightful. I could watch Grogu get underhand tossed like a sack of flour all day.

July

7/2: Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury (Season 2) - LOVE WINS. (More nuanced take from way later: It definitely feels like a lot of the more messy political conflicts in this show got swept aside by the big final battle where some more easily resolved family conflicts take center stage. I’m not sure the ending is the most satisfying. But also this show only got half the episode count that damn near every other Gundam show ever made got, so that might be a factor here. Idk. Still one of my favorite Gundams.)

7/4: Final Fantasy XVI (watched Anthony play) - I had to write my longest Medium article ever about this one because I was so frustrated

7/10: Home Movies - “Things I like that I’ve never seen in full” has certainly been a recurring theme this year. Home Movies remains an all-time classic of animated comedy that went out on a high note before things got stale or the characters became parodies of themselves. While it’s mostly known for its funny improvised banter, throughout the last season you can really see the arc where Brendon no longer enjoys making movies, yet he feels obligated to keep using them to escape from the real world. In that light, the ending where the nature of their dysfunctional makeshift family is cemented, Brendon’s camera suddenly breaks, and life moves on really does feel like the perfect note to end on. Truly one of the best to ever do it.

7/15: The Legend of Zelda - Tears of the Kingdom - Wow. Just… wow. I had serious doubts about TotK in the months leading up to release due to how close Nintendo was playing their cards to their chest. I didn’t want this to be a Saints Row IV, where the game is fun enough but the recycled map makes it feel like a rehash. Instead, I found a game that made me look at BotW’s map in a whole new light, brimming with so many more things to do and people to meet. Add on a better, more versatile set of tools, more varied dungeons and bosses, and a story that I felt was told somewhat better and we’ve got a real contender for my new favorite Zelda game. It was hard to tear myself away, but as this list shows, it’s been basically the only game I’ve played since it came out.

7/16: Sonic Prime (Season 2) - I liked the parts with Shadow and Chaos Sonic, but I’ve come to the sad conclusion that most of this show is just mediocre. More thoughts here.

7/18: We ♥ Katamari Reroll + Royal Reverie - “I’m a dog, but I love Katamari Damacy.” Truer words have never been spoken.

7/19: Transformers: Rise of the Beasts - Pretty good! It didn’t blow me away, but after how bad the Bay movies got I’m just thankful to have a decently cohesive Transformers movie where the human story is okay and I like the bots (although half of them needed more screen time), even if it is just another Hollywood blockbuster about two sides fighting over a macguffin that devolves into a big CGI battle against an army of nameless monsters in the third act. This is basically a mid-tier MCU movie but with Transformers, which won’t do much for most people, but again: the bar was underground.

7/22: The Venture Bros.: Radiant is the Blood of the Baboon Heart - God DAMN. A phenomenal ending for the series. While I would have loved to see a full final season to get some more one-off episodes in there, this doesn’t feel creatively compromised in any way–either due to the time constraints, or due to a desire to make it more marketable as a movie. It really does feel like they just took their outlines for the canceled final season and gently massaged them into the shape of an 84-minute movie, and I mean that in the best possible way. It’s completely on par with the previous seasons. A hilarious and fitting sendoff for one of the greats of adult animation.

7/23: Beautiful Katamari - This was one of my first Xbox 360 games, but a frustrating temperature-based level made me put it down for 16 years. “Maybe it won’t be as bad now that I’ve beaten the first two games and am better at Katamari,” I thought. Nope! Still an absolutely dogshit level. But also, turns out the whole game is only like two hours long lmao. It’s still Katamari, so it’s still fun - the final level in particular, which seamlessly takes you from ground level all the way to space, feels like a logical endpoint for the series - but beyond that it just doesn't have the same soul without Keita Takahashi's input.

August

8/4: Doom Singer (Chris Farren) - I’ve been waiting so long for Chris and Jeff to do another Antarctigo Vespucci album, but god damn. This is the best of Chris’s solo work, and a contender for his best record, period. Every track’s a banger, with more energy than some of his previous solo work but also a good deal of variety. Favorite tracks: First Place, Cosmic Leash

8/4: Transformers Earthspark (Season 1) - This show had a bit of an uneven start, unsure if it wanted to have the emotional maturity of a more serious action cartoon or a preschool cartoon where the characters have little kid mood swings and outbursts and learn basic lessons. It also felt like it was speedrunning its Wholesome Found Family Dynamic with characters who just met, which didn’t feel earned. While these problems never completely go away (see: the cheap and corny way the otherwise very dark season finale suddenly resolves), the show improves quickly, and the positives outweigh the negatives. It’s so great to have a Transformers cartoon that feels fresh, giving us a post-war setting with a bunch of new characters and new dynamics between the Cybertronians and the humans. The returning characters are also uniformly great as the old veterans overseeing the new generation. (Reformed Megatron! Danny Pudi as Bumblebee! Steve Blum returning as Starscream! Keith David as Grimlock!!!) And those super dynamic action scenes! I can nitpick, but Earthspark’s a ton of fun, and easily the best new Transformers cartoon since Prime and Animated.

8/5: Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective (remaster) - Everyone who told me this game was a masterpiece was right. I had played the first chapter when it dropped as the demo for the iOS version years ago, but never went further than that until now. What a game. Absolutely incredible through and through. Great story, great twists, great characters, great puzzles, great art direction. Everything comes together so perfectly to form a totally unique, unforgettable package, a top tier video game murder mystery. Everyone should play this, preferably going in as blind as possible.

8/15: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Season 16) - Wow! Recent seasons of Sunny have been kind of up and down, with some interesting experiments (Mac Finds His Pride, the Ireland arc, etc.) paired with some comedic duds. Most of this latest season is standard fare for the series with fewer big creative swings, but it’s just hit after hit in terms of comedy. Not a single dud, whether we’re seeing Mac and Dennis try to start a rental business for inflatable furniture or watching the gang meet Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul, believing the entire time that the latter is Malcolm from Malcolm in the Middle. Even the attempts at topical comedy landed better. Easily the funniest season in years.

8/16: One Piece Film Gold - It’s easy to see why this one has kind of been forgotten in the wake of Stampede and Film Red, which revolve around established fan favorite characters, but this was still pretty fun. Perhaps a little too long, but it’s fun to see the Straw Hats fool around in a giant casino and do a heist. They definitely cranked the fanservice up even more than usual in this one, though, as I probably should have expected for a movie made alongside the anime’s adaptation of Dressrosa.

8/17: One Piece: Stampede - This one goes for a different kind of fanservice. While most One Piece movies are isolated from the ongoing plot and its expanded cast of characters, Stampede instead asks “What if we just put damn near every active character on the same island and had them fight?” The answer: a fun time! It would get old if all of the movies were like this, but after a bunch of movies that are just like “the Straw Hats are gonna land on another new island and fight some more weird guys” it’s fun to see characters like Law and Buggy and Smoker get in on the fun. It’s also nice to get a movie with the Wano era art style, and Usopp surprisingly gets some really good character moments in here.

8/18: One Piece Film Red - This really is the best of the One Piece movies, huh? (Baron Omatsuri is a close second.) It really feels like a change of pace after the last four with the most interesting and emotionally engaging story out of any of them. And even if the events of these movies are never canon, it still feels significant in my understanding of Shanks as a character as we move into the final phase of the manga.

8/21: Pikmin 4 - The opening hour of the game made me really question if they’d changed too much, with all the focus on your new dog unit over your Pikmin and the extremely dull, drawn out dialogue scenes with your new companions back at the base. But once I got into the swing of things I had a blast. This is probably my new favorite Pikmin game. There’s a great mix of activities here to keep things fresh. I also really ended up liking Oatchi’s role as basically your second captain who can also serve as your tank or a rideable mount. The Dandori stuff and nighttime missions in particular show off how useful Oatchi is for your multitasking without necessarily overshadowing the Pikmin.

8/22: Never Get Tired: The Bomb the Music Industry! Story - I literally backed this on Kickstarter eight years ago (my name is in the credits!) and then never got around to watching it for no reason. It’s on YouTube now, and Jeff’s got a new album out next week, so now feels like the perfect time to watch it. And man… what a great documentary. Obviously I’m just a fan of the band, but this also really spoke to me as an artist. Jeff wanting to stick to his principles and give out his music for free and play cheap all ages shows, his discomfort over the idea of selling merch, and the struggles that come with not playing the game like that… It's hard. They readily admit that Jeff is an idealist, that people fight him on this stuff, that he’s missed out on some big opportunities because of these stances, and that he’s had to compromise a bit on some of these things over time. But that incredible climax with their final show, including a full opening performance of the slowly building “Campaign for a Better Next Weekend” and the closing performance of “Future 86” where the whole audience is singing along as the members of the band are hugging and crying… it’s beautiful. This may have been a band where the members had to go back to their shitty day jobs after every tour because they weren’t selling out arenas, but their art meant something to people, and that makes it all worth it.

8/25: Nimona - I haven’t read the original comic (yet), so I can’t compare them too much, but it’s nonetheless pretty apparent that some things were softened and easy kids’ movie jokes were added by the studio to squeeze this graphic novel for teens into a PG animated movie. Regardless, the emotional throughline hits REALLY hard, particularly the very blatant trans allegory and the climax. (It’s no wonder Disney was afraid of this movie seeing the light of day lmao.) The animation is also very squishy and fun to watch throughout. Great movie.

8/26: Puss in Boots: The Last Wish - Spider-Verse really has done so much for animation, huh? This one was as good as everyone said. Beautiful use of stylized color and lighting throughout, and every time this movie very conspicuously shifted to different framerates for a flashy fight scene it owned. Very cute and heartwarming story, too, which thankfully gave its second act plenty of time to explore the cast and let them go on their journey, unlike a certain plumber movie that came out a few months later. Also I would let Death [redacted]

8/28: Holocure: Save the Fans! - This isn't really something I can beat, but I've been addicted to Holocure lately. I don't even watch VTubers aside from maybe seeing a funny Korone animation every now and then, this is just a really, really good freeware Vampire Survivors clone with a huge roster of varied characters to pick from.

8/31: HELLMODE (Jeff Rosenstock) - A new album from Jeff is always a major event for me. If there were any worries that he was starting to go soft at 40 (because one of the three singles off this album was a gentle acoustic piece), the frantic opening of this album put those worries to rest. The first two tracks are Jeff screaming out for help as he’s pulled in a million directions by the chaotic state of the world, a theme that becomes the thesis of the album. I’d say it lags slightly in the middle, but overall this is another extremely well-rounded record full of bangers that’s unapologetically Jeff, with possibly my favorite closing track he’s ever done. Favorite tracks: I WANNA BE WRONG, 3 SUMMERS

September

9/3: One Piece (live action, Season 1) - They did it. I can’t believe it, but they did it. While I have my nitpicks (Usopp and Sanji don’t get enough big moments to shine), this is an extremely solid and faithful adaptation of the first few arcs of One Piece with a great cast. For the most part the changes feel smart and logical, and the big emotional beats of the story are all there and executed very well. I doubted it a little in episodes 2-4, where the Orange Town and Syrup Village arcs saw some major changes to shift the action indoors, and the increased focus on the drama in favor of repeating every gag and battle from the manga 1:1 took a bit of getting used to, but by the end I was having a blast. It’s a different take on One Piece, but it still feels like One Piece. Genuinely very excited for season 2.

9/4: Pseudoregalia - A great little N64-style 3D Metroidvania focused on platforming and very satisfying movement. I always love entries in the genre that are less prescriptive in what order you have to tackle areas in, a la Symphony of the Night or Hollow Knight, and this one’s great in that regard. While there are a number of new moves to find, most of the map is open to you very early in the game, and smart use of your moveset can allow you to “sequence break” without even realizing it. (You would not believe how long I went without getting the wall run.) I do wish it had a map, but that’s already being patched in.

9/6: Bomb Rush Cyberfunk * - Not a bad game at all, but I quickly remembered how bad I am at skating games, so like… eh? Not sure I have much desire to play past chapter 2. Also the soundtrack is sadly kinda hit or miss for me outside of the obvious Naganuma tunes.

9/9: The History of the Minnesota Vikings (Dorktown) - Jon Bois never misses. Even as someone who doesn’t actively follow sports, Jon Bois is a master storyteller, using graphs and statistics and funny anecdotes to explore these deeply human stories. He can convey why people care so much about these teams, these people, and sports in general, and how our popular sports reflect on American culture. He could tell the story of just about any team or player in any sport and I just know I’ll come out the other side a misty-eyed fan. And what a fascinating cast of characters we have this time, with origin stories for everything from the Hail Mary pass to a Minnesota state supreme court judge to the Griddy. Nine hours well spent.

9/10: Timespinner - A fun and highly polished Metroidvania that maybe doesn’t quite have enough of its own identity in its quest to replicate Symphony of the Night…but also, like, this was pitched as a Symphony throwback on KickStarter in a pre-Bloodstained, pre-Hollow Knight world, so I can’t really blame ‘em! Stopping time to avoid boss attacks is fun, the pixel art is gorgeous, and I liked the dark science fantasy story about warring empires and meddling with time a lot more than I thought I would - lore journal text dumps and all.

9/14: The Decay of Sam & Cat (Quinton Reviews) - All the stuff at the end with Matt Bennett (the actor who played Robbie on Victorious and Sam & Cat) in this was really good and sweet. It’s that kind of thing that makes these videos feel like they’re still worthwhile on some level. But the padding and the things Quinton chooses to spend the colossal runtime on does drive me more and more insane with each passing Nick sitcom video. I don’t know how much longer he can keep this schtick up. I hope he’s able to move on to other things before too terribly long instead of continuing to extend this “miniseries.”

9/19: Marvel’s Spider-Man: Miles Morales - AKA Insomniac’s Marvel’s Spider-Man 1.5. It’s fun for the same reasons Peter’s first game was fun. I had a good time swinging around New York again in preparation for the sequel, and there’s a lot of cute stuff with Miles becoming Harlem’s neighborhood hero, but WOW did the Underground v. Roxxon conflict fall flat for me.

9/20: I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson - I understand so many posts now.

9/25: Spider-Man (2002) (rewatch) - It’s you who’s out, Gobby! OUT OF YOUR MIND!

9/25: Futurama (Season 8) - I was ready to be a hater, recalling the fact that Futurama has already had three “perfect endings” with the show getting a little weaker with every revival. Then I watched the first new episode on a whim and thought it wasn’t bad, so I was like, eh, sure, I’ll watch the rest. Overall Hulurama is hit or miss. There are chuckles to be had, and it sure as hell beats modern Simpsons, but almost every episode is either a belated take on an overplayed Topical Issue (the pandemic, Amazon, cancel culture, etc.) or a direct sequel to an old episode people liked. Or both! It’s also really noticeable that certain voice actors sound way older - Billy West is struggling with the Fry voice in particular, and it hurts his comedic timing. But just when all hope seemed lost after the nigh-incomprehensible toy-themed anthology episode, possibly the worst episode of the entire series… the last episode, where the Planet Express crew explores whether or not the universe could be a simulation, was really, really solid. Great note to end on to make me not regret my time with this season as a whole.

9/26: Spider-Man 2 (2004) (rewatch) - Once the GOAT, always the GOAT.

9/27: Spider-Man 3 (rewatch) - Revisiting this movie for the first time since I saw it in theaters… it’s not bad. It’s fine! It continues to have the heart and sincerity that make the first two movies work. It’s just not as concise with three villains vying for the spotlight, but I also wouldn’t cut any of them, necessarily. I guess Eddie/Venom would be the easiest, but Peter getting the black suit and giving in to his resentment feels too central to cut. (Yes, even with Emo Peter becoming a meme.)

9/28: Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake - I wasn’t really sure what to expect with this one, especially since I was never really a fan of the genderbend episodes in the original show. (At the time they mostly just felt like an excuse to crank up the teen romance stuff to 11.) But MAN. This was a fantastic coda to the original series. It made me care about Fionna and Cake and their friends as their own characters separate from their original counterparts, it gave the Simon/Betty arc a much more satisfying (if no less bittersweet) resolution than the original finale had time to do, and it even managed to be a multiverse story that didn’t make me roll my eyes in 2023. A+ all around. Makes me wanna rewatch the original show again. [spoiler: I did]

9/29: Meanwhile (aivi & surasshu) - It’s been a whole decade–they were busy with, you know, all the music in Steven Universe, among other things–but we finally have a new aivi & surasshu album! Their chiptune/piano fusion style is familiar, but they’ve definitely grown as composers in subtle ways. Favorite track: Time Travel

October

10/1: This is Financial Advice (Folding Ideas) - A lot of the nitty gritty finance law stuff turned into white noise for me, but still, great video. I had no idea that the GameStop stock craze devolved into this bizarre cult that thinks they’re going to crash the global economy and rise from the ashes as the new kings with the value of their GME stocks. Glad this video exists to try and balance out the narrative.

10/5: Sonic Frontiers: The Final Horizon DLC - Good ideas, absurdly frustrating and tedious execution. Full thoughts here.

10/10: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (rewatch) - I didn’t plan this, but very fitting that I would end up rewatching this on 10/10.

10/12: Half-Life Alyx but the Gnome is Self-Aware (wayneradiotv) - ha he! (Seriously though, that finale was a fucking masterpiece. The RTVS crew has an incredible knack for using the framing device of video game livestreams to blur the lines between comedy and horror, or ironic anti-humor and complete sincerity. I’ve never seen anything else like this.)

10/15: Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse - Not sure how much I can say that hasn’t already been said. The most visually creative movie I’ve ever seen, grounded by some really excellent storytelling about Miles (and now Gwen) that’s probably better than his actual comics. But it also does feel like it’s about to end and then the movie just keeps going like ten times over lmao. Can’t wait to watch this a second time on a better TV.

10/20: Sonic Superstars - A mostly really solid and fun 2D Sonic game that’s unfortunately dragged down by an extremely hodgepodge soundtrack and some overly drawn out boss fights. I spent HOURS trying to beat the final boss of the bonus scenario (which is required for the true ending in this one) before giving up. Really a shame that that’s the note I’m leaving the game on, because I otherwise enjoyed it, but ah well. More thoughts here.

10/27: Marvel’s Spider-Man 2 - Another good Spider-Man game from Insomniac. Liked the story more than the one in Miles Morales, but maybe not as much as the first game. Extensive thoughts here.

10/28: Venom - Was in the mood for more Venom after the game. As expected this was not a very good movie, but the dynamic between Eddie and Venom made it a fun watch. Tom Hardy is constantly about to shit his pants in this movie. It’s great.

10/28: Venom: Let There Be Carnage - I had a way better time with this one. Is this a good movie? No. But it cranks the insanity of the first movie up to 11. Goofy as fuck in an extremely watchable way.

November

11/5: Pluto - An absolutely masterful series that anyone interested in sci-fi needs to watch. The anime adaptation was great, and I immediately understand why people who’ve read the manga speak so highly of it. Really makes me want to get into Astro Boy more, and also read some of Urasawa’s other works.

11/18: Scott Pilgrim Takes Off - Wow, just wow. When news of a Scott Pilgrim anime broke I was cautiously curious to see if we’d get a more direct adaptation of the comics, and instead it veered off in the exact opposite direction in the best way possible. This is almost entirely a different story, one that’s in conversation with the previous versions (sometimes in very meta ways), and I think it’s really valuable to see O’Malley revisiting these characters with new things to say about them. The major story divergence gives us a chance to examine the characters from a new angle - particularly Ramona, who’s the real protagonist of this version, and the evil exes, who completely steal the show. This was a great reminder of why I fell in love with this series as a teenager. I now genuinely hope we get more Scott Pilgrim.

11/22: Void Rivals (Issues #1 - #6) - The first arc of the new Robert Kirkman series that kicked off Skybound’s new “Energon Universe” is now complete, and I’m left thinking Void Rivals is… okay? I thought the first issue was a decent (if not particularly original) sci-fi comic with an appealing art style, which just so happens to also briefly have a Transformer in it so there can be a Big Surprise. And the series still hasn’t quite shaken that feeling to me. It’s an okay sci-fi series that arbitrarily dedicates a couple of pages of every issue to something from Transformers, but I’m not really sure what the shared universe stuff adds to Void Rivals, or what Void Rivals adds to Transformers and GI Joe. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

11/22: Journey to EPCOT Center: A Symphonic History (Defunctland) - Yeah, gotta be honest, I only got halfway through this one. It seems like Kevin just 1) really wanted to push himself creatively and 2) make a love letter to Epcot, and while I respect that, I think it suffers as a historical documentary. It’s Fantasia but for the creation of Epcot. That might be very impressive on a technical level, but it feels more like a piece of Disney propaganda than prior Defunctland videos due to a lack of context and nuance. 

11/24: Aperture Desk Job - A short, sweet, and funny little tech demo for my new Steam Deck set in the Portal universe. More effort was definitely put into this than was strictly necessary.

11/26: ESCHATOS - I am not good at bullet hell games, but I enjoy them from time to time and I really love this one’s FM synth soundtrack, so I picked it up on a whim in the Steam sale. I only beat it on Easy, but still, I had a lot of fun with it! It’s straightforward but very flashy, with the camera dynamically zooming around from set piece to set piece at ridiculous speeds and each level segueing directly into the next. The lack of a powerup system on the main mode in favor of just needing to know when to use your different shot types makes it feel very approachable.

11/27: Lunistice - A great little 3D platformer with a good soundtrack that I had fun hunting down all the secrets in. This is an easy recommendation for fans of games like Kirby or Klonoa - whimsical games set in colorful dream worlds where the underlying story can get a bit more somber. (Although the story in this one is mostly told through mildly cryptic lore dumps, so your mileage there may vary.)

11/28: Spark the Electric Jester 2 - The leap from 2D to 3D here is impressive, but this is very clearly a rough draft for Spark 3. Very, very fun Sonic-style 3D platforming, but the combat is lacking and the storytelling is just kinda bad. More extensive thoughts on this and the above two games here.

December

12/2: Fortnite (Chapter 4) - This was my first full chapter of Fortnite, after having been roped into the game by the siren songs of Zero Build mode and Goku during Chapter 3. This means it’s harder for me to compare this chapter to previous ones, but still, Fortnite remains a genuinely very well made Battle Royale shooter that’s a blast with friends. If I have any complaint about this Chapter, it’s that they would regularly introduce zany ideas and then slowly reel them back in, whether it was the Augment system or the increasingly mundane movement items. It also felt like it was a little too easy to get the perfect loadout in every match, meaning the final showdown would almost always be against players with Slurp Juice and gold shotguns. And I missed the smaller mid-season map updates of Chapter 3. But overall I still had a really good time, and look forward to playing more for the foreseeable future.

12/4: Plagiarism and You(Tube) (HBomberguy) - This will get written off by many as “YouTuber drama,” but this really is an excellent video essay that feels like the kick in the pants that YouTube needs. If video essayists are gonna be a major source of information for so many, then they gotta have standards. I also think it does a good job of highlighting the people that have been plagiarized and trying to drive more attention their way in an attempt to right those wrongs.

12/6: Transformers (Skybound comic) - We only got the first three issues of this in 2023, but I just HAVE to say something about how incredible this series is here. Daniel Warren Johnson is knocking it out of the park. This is the new bar for Transformers. The hand-inked art is extremely dynamic and full of character, and the story is using the familiar beats of G1 Transformers but doing very new things with them. You can tell this from the very first page, but the emotional scene of Optimus accidentally crushing a deer in the forest and realizing how fragile life is on Earth sealed the deal for me. And yet in the very same comics Optimus can do suplexes and clotheslines and lord knows how many other wrestling moves on Decepticons, and it doesn’t feel like tonal whiplash? These comics just fucking rule, and anyone with even the slightest interest in Transformers should be reading them.

12/8: What We Do in the Shadows (Season 5) - [spoilers] WWDITS has very much settled into being a status quo show. Every season has its own little arc where one or two things change to keep things interesting, but then everything returns to normal by the end. Guillermo finally becoming a vampire, only to become a human again in the end, might just be the most egregious example of this yet. But also… the show’s still really funny? And I continue to be happy that Kristen Schaal has stuck around as a series regular as the Guide. So it’s hard to complain. I could see the show running out of steam over the next few seasons, but it’s still hitting for me right now.

12/12: Pony Island - Finally got around to this since the trailer for the sequel dropped. I feel like playing this years later in a post-Inscryption world where Pony Island is a known quantity kind of lessens its impact, but still, it’s a fun and funny puzzle game where you try to hack your way out of a possessed arcade machine. I’m not sure I found it particularly scary, but I’m not sure it’s supposed to be? The way the game messes with you during the Asmodeus “boss fight” was probably the highlight for me. I also like being able to say things like “The part where you have to not kill Jesus was so hard. I kept getting terrible butterfly patterns.”

12/16: Breaking Bad VR but the AI is Self-Aware (wayneradiotv) - As always, Wayne and co.’s commitment to the bit is unrivaled. This kind of got interpreted as just a way to troll HLVRAI fans, but so many moments in this genuinely made me laugh out loud.

12/18: Soul of Sovereignty Prelude - As someone who would list Cucumber Quest as a big creative influence, I was naturally very excited for this first chapter of GGDG’s new visual novel. Their mentality of both scaling things back in terms of labor while also going more shamelessly self-indulgent in terms of storytelling after burning out on making webcomics has really spoken to me, and WOW, the end result of that new process of theirs is shaping up to be something really special. The art and music are sparse but extremely evocative, giving you the rough sketch of the world and letting your mind fill in the rest. The story blends literary high fantasy vibes with the style of fantasy seen in ‘90s JRPGs (you can definitely tell this came from an idea for an RPG), but rather than constantly winking at the audience and making self-aware video game references it plays these storytelling ideas extremely sincerely, giving them real dramatic weight while still indulging in fun tropes to their fullest extent. While it’s a far cry from their most famous work with much more mature content, GGDG always excels at creating characters and worlds that immediately grab me. I can’t wait for the rest.

12/18: Barbie - I’m only… what, five months late for the whole Barbenheimer thing? Perfect timing. Anyway! On the one hand, I get the critiques saying that this movie is just a major corporation funding a self-aware feminist critique of their own product as a marketing ploy. And I kinda agree with that. And the movie is a little too long, and I don’t really know what to think of the way the Barbie/Ken conflict plays out. Anthony asked me to summarize what the story ended up being about, and I had no idea what to even say. But also… I did still like the movie? We don’t get a lot of cartoonish, absurdist, fourth wall breaking comedies like this anymore, and this is a good one of those. Also the whole cast is great, the set design is kind of stunning, and the cinematography is consistently appealing. I wouldn’t say it’s a revolutionary work of feminist filmmaking by any stretch, but it’s a good comedy movie.

12/21: Dr. Stone: New World - Man, Dr. Stone is great. I’ve said this many times, but I just love that this series uses all the trappings of shounen that would normally be used to hype up the protagonist learning a new move to instead hype up things like the protagonist building a loom or a hot air balloon. It’s shounen Bill Nye. I didn’t completely love everything about the Treasure Island arc this season, but it all built towards a really fun climax with a lot of satisfying turnabouts where the heroes use their ingenuity to just barely win.

12/23: The History of Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out World Records (Summoning Salt) - Truly one of my favorite Summoning Salt videos ever, even with how repetitive Punch-Out can get to watch. It’s just so hard to beat “and that runner… was me.”

12/24: Super Mario Bros. Wonder - What more can be said that hasn’t already been said? It’s the best and most creative 2D Mario game since the ‘90s. The only real flaws are that it’s a little easy, the Search Party stages are annoying in singleplayer, and I wish that every boss prior to the final boss wasn’t just some form of Bowser Jr. fight. But those aren’t nearly enough to drag the whole experience down. It was a blast.

12/24: Do a Powerbomb! - Got this from Anthony as a birthday present. This is the previous series by the creative team currently doing the new Transformers comics I was gushing about a few entries ago. Even with the high bar set by those comics, Do a Powerbomb! exceeded my expectations. Holy shit. An absolutely entrancing fantasy wrestling miniseries full of dynamic, energetic action and tons of heart. These comics where a guy wrestles a giant talking orangutan almost made me cry. Twice. An instant favorite.

12/25: Adventure Time (rewatch) - We ended up finishing our rewatch of Adventure Time (the main series, anyway) on my 30th birthday, which feels appropriate. I already kinda knew this, but this rewatch has truly confirmed that Adventure Time is my favorite TV series of all time. The entire show is even better on a full series rewatch. In hindsight, even parts that annoyed me when they aired end up being important parts of the beautiful tapestry that is this series. The many low points of Finn’s adolescent love life are important stepping stones in his growth as a person, which leaves him in an extremely satisfying place by the end. Jake having kids didn’t get to be a huge status quo change because they grew up instantly, but then they did a bunch of fun episodes about Jake’s relationships with his adult children that deepened him as a character. And most of the big lore questions they kept teasing over the years (“Where’d the humans go?” “Who are Finn’s parents?” “When’s Finn gonna get a robot arm?” etc.) ended up getting satisfying and creative answers, because the show left itself the room to figure those things out later. This is a truly special, one-of-a-kind series, one that lasted nearly 300 episodes and yet still seems like it was over too soon. And yes, I did in fact cry during the final montage, like I knew I would. I will always cherish this show with all of my heart.

12/25: Olive the Other Reindeer (rewatch) - Haven’t seen this one since I was a kid! It was a favorite of mine back then, and while it might not be quite as funny as I remember it’s still very cute, with a 2D/3D hybrid art style that remains very unique and appealing. As an adult I can also appreciate the cast they got for this, with like half the cast of Futurama bolstered by guests like Michael Stipe from REM and The Sopranos’ Joe Pantoliano.

12/26: Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio - Anthony and I capped off our Christmas with the most jolly and festive stop motion movie of all! Jokes aside, man, what a beautiful movie. The animation is immaculate, and we really just don’t get children’s animated films like this anymore. Ones that overtly feature real world politics and religion and so many other dark themes in a way that doesn’t talk down to kids or sugarcoat things. This one hits hard. We need more movies like this.

12/31: Oppenheimer - This was an interesting one. Despite being three hours, the way that first hour jumps around in time makes it feel like Oppenheimer is constantly being propelled forward through life at a breakneck pace, swept up by the rising tide of nationalism in spite of his personal left wing politics, never really reflecting on what he’s doing until it’s too late. Then when he’s no longer useful to the empire, he’s chewed up and spat out, only to eventually be honored as a national hero as a symbolic gesture. It’s a compelling story. However, I’m a little torn on how certain aspects of history were framed. Does the abstraction of the bombings detract from the true weight of those events, in favor of sympathizing with the man who built the bomb? Or is it clever a way to show how the realities of the war were compartmentalized away by people who were complicit in its most heinous acts of violence? One minute a bunch of physicists are talking theory, thousands of miles away from the theaters of war, and the next they’ve killed 200,000 people. So which is it? Eh, probably somewhere in the middle, I guess. But I liked it overall.

12/31: Kirby’s Return to Dream Land Deluxe - I’ve been really surprised by how good this rerelease is. It kind of flew under the radar for me. I liked the original game, but at the time it also almost felt like the New Super Mario Bros. of Kirby. It was a straightforward throwback game where you went through a grass world, then a desert world, then a water world, etc., and also they added four player co-op. But returning to this one after the kinda mid Star Allies has made me appreciate just how solid RtDL is as a Kirby game. I really like the updated graphics, too - yes, even the new cel shaded outlines around the characters - even though I didn’t think it looked that great in screenshots. Also the two new copy abilities (Sand and Mecha) are fun, the minigame collection is shockingly fleshed out to the point that they could’ve sold it as a standalone eShop game, the collectible character masks are fun, and the new epilogue mode where you play as Magolor is one of the coolest bonus modes they’ve ever done. This is a top tier Kirby remake any fan of the series should check out.

Ongoing things I followed in 2023 that don't have a blurb:

Halo Infinite multiplayer

IDW Sonic the Hedgehog (main series + specials)

One Piece

Chainsaw Man

My Hero Academia (not caught up)

The JOJOlands (not caught up)

Things I started in 2023 that I still need to finish:

Freedom Planet 2

Hi-Fi Rush

Live A Live

Super Monkey Ball: Banana Mania

Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order

Picross 3D Round 2

Rhythm Heaven MegaMix

Mega Man Battle Network 5: Team ProtoMan

Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart

Spark the Electric Jester 3

Sonic Dream Team

One Piece (Wano arc, anime)

Jujutsu Kaisen season 2 (I’ve already read the Shibuya arc already in the manga, though)

Astro Boy (2003 anime)

Futurama (original run rewatch)

One Piece (manga reread)

The Amazing Spider-Man (Lee/Ditko era)

Scott Pilgrim series (reread)

And finally... my favorites of 2023!!!

Overall favorite game: The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom

Favorite indie game: Pseudoregalia

Games remastered in 2023 that are now among my all-time faves: Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective, We Love Katamari

Most pleasant surprise in gaming: The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog

Favorite film: Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Favorite live action show: Barry

Favorite anime: Pluto

Favorite anime written by a Canadian guy and an American guy based on the Canadian guy's old graphic novel series: Scott PIlgrim Takes Off

Favorite live action adaptation of an anime that I still can't believe they didn't fuck up: One Piece

Favorite Western cartoon: Adventure Time: Fionna & Cake

Favorite older cartoon I only got around to watching in its entirety this year: The Venture Bros.

Favorite documentary: Double Fine PsychOdyssey

Favorite semi-improvised semi-scripted absurdist comedy/horror/tragedy Twitch livestream performance art thing: Half-Life Alyx but the Gnome is Self-Aware finale (wayneradiotv)

Favorite manga: Chainsaw Man

Favorite older manga that I only read this year: Berserk

Favorite Western comic book: Daniel Warren Johnson's Transformers

Favorite album: HELLMODE (Jeff Rosenstock)

And that's a wrap!!!!! Happy new year, everyone! Here's to me maybe actually reading a goddamn book this year

[rocketbirdie]

Laid to rest by ten thousand arrows — the fall of Lao-Shan Lung

HE'S FINALLY DEAD.

This oversized infant has been tormenting me ever since his fateful introduction as the Wall Of All Time in rank G2. It's difficult enough to just scare him off, but for months now, I've had my sights set on outright slaying him.

I tried everything. Aerial style great sword to the face for 30 minutes straight. Max dragon attack striker lance dash spam into his gut. Hell, I even tried the infamous weaponless strategy, frantically hauling cannonballs back and forth, calculating every single ballista shot, carefully counting flinches. But alas, Lao-Shan Lung was simply too powerful for one scrawny little hunter. I was faced with the horrible realization, that if I wanted to take him down alone... I was going to have to play a ranged weapon. (GASP!)

Anyway yeah those guides ain't joking lol dragon pierce bow is ridiculously overpowered against this guy. It took me 2 tries because I've literally never used a bow before, but once I got the hang of it, it was a super easy hunt. Here's the set that netted me a 20 minute Lao kill with both fortresses at 100%:

Magnastar Wil (Max upgraded Valstrax bow), Valor style

Neset Armor (Ahtal-Ka), full set

The luckiest fucking talisman of my entire life, Expert +9 and Crit Element +4, no slots

Armor skills: TrueShot, Pierce Up, Crit Element, Critical Eye 3, Tremor Res

Items: Power Coating Lv.2, Element Coatings Lv.1 and Lv.2, and an unholy amount of mega dash juice

A LOT of patience to obtain all of the materials for the armor and weapon. Phew!

Altheos Incanonis (the max Alatreon bow) is technically better, but there is no way in hell I was going to grind G RANK ALATREON solo, fuck that. I got stupid lucky with the Valstrax grind and got 2 mantles and an orb on a single hunt, so I just ran with it; Magnastar is more than capable of getting the job done, even in the hands of a clueless melee main.

THE DREAM IS REAL!!!! WOOOOOO

[cirusthecitrus]

Question 6 from the entrapdak question game? :))

Thank you for the ask! There are two terrible takes that to this day make me believe that some antis watched spop skipping every scene that had Hordak in it

Well, the first one is more of a crazy conspiracy theory, but I still wanna mention it - "Entrapdak is a pedo ship cause Entrapta was meant to be a teenager" and "her age was actually retconned so the writers could ship Entrapta with Hordak". I do wish that Entrapta's age was confirmed in the show itself, cause this aspect of her character did genuiely confused a lot of fans, but thinking that she was actually written as a minor but then was aged up just cause the writers wanted to make entrapdak less problematic?? Insane

The other take is "entrapdak bad because Hordak was manipulating Entrapta to work for him and was abusive towards her". And it used to be such a prevalent opinion in the main fandom too! I honestly think those people just hated Hordak sooo much (mainly for being a threat to Catra) that they were making shit up to make him even more evil and irredeemable so everyone would stop liking him or wishing him a happy ending. Many also loved Entrapta, but hated Hordak so much that they imagined he'd be a terrible partner to her and were insisting that she "deserved better" and was actually unhappy with him (some fake ass Entrapta fans imo) Like, lets dissect this take again. At first, as fellow Hordak fans always say, Hordak couldn't even manipulate himself out of a plastic bag. Plus there wasnt a single scene where Hordak manipulates Entrapta to do smth for him. It was Catra who made Entrapta side with the Horde and convinced her to work for them. Hordak didnt mind, but he also had no say in this. And when they became lab partners it was Entrapta who forced herself into Hordak's lab and in his life, she was the one always insisting on getting information and knowledge out of him, who insisted on working with him, bro just could not make her leave!

Many used to say Hordak was only using Entrapta for her skills (and also didnt care about her as a person, like hello?? have they seen s4 and 5?) when Hordak never made her do anything she wasnt intersted in - he didnt made Entrapta help him build the portal, she was already curious about portals! he didnt make her take care of him or build him a new set of armor, it was her gift! and he was never forcing Entrapta to stay by his side or be loyal to him or the Horde - she simply enjoyed working on this project and spending time with him. And when Hordak was told that she betrayed him he just... accepted it and never thought about revenge or punishment or anything like that. And he wasnt angry cause he lost a tool that could upgrade his tech or fix his problems, he was devastated because he lost his only friend. But you know who only saw Entrapta as a tool-

Then the abuse part - by that antis usually meant those two moments when he yelled at her/ cut her off while being in pain (and also brushed off Entrapta's hair). Like, yeah, Hordak has anger issues and he does scream a lot, and my boy should work on that, but such behaviour never made Entrapta feel distressed or afraid of him. She was either unbothered by Hordak's attempts at being scary and intimidating, or she was sad FOR him (and slightly dissapointed) - she never took his outbirsts as Hordak being genuinely mad at her, she knew smth was wrong with him, but it had nothing to do with her. He yells when he tries to imitate Prime and make ppl leave him alone, or when he's in so much pain he can't handle it and once again wants to be left alone (all because he himself doesnt feel safe around ppl T-T). Should he still apologize for snapping at Entrapta? Yeah. But is such behaviour abusive? I can be, but in case of Hordak? I dont think so

[howlingday]

What would happen if Jaune got the Berserker armor?

"What are you wearing?"

"It's this new armor I found in my room." Jaune rapped his knuckles against the heavy metal guarding his body. "I think it's an upgrade to my old armor set."

"It is?" Ruby asked while circling him, poking and prodding into every ornate detail and crevice on his new, black armor. "It doesn't look like it. It looks like it's a new armor set entirely."

"I like the cape, though." Nora chimed. "Makes you look like a fairy tail hero!"

"It doesn't look clean, though." Ren commented. "In fact, it looks like it hasn't ever been washed."

"Well, I like it." Jaune gave his chest a pat and a rub. "It covers and protects me more than my old armor did, and even though it felt heavy picking it up, it doesn't weigh down on me at all!"

"It's still weird. We arrive at this new place and the first thing that you find in your room was a new suit of armor, and your old set can't be found?"

"It's weird, but it's not like we can't find the old set later. That is, if this armor doesn't work out!"

"Ready to go test it out?" Nora giggled, a wide grin on her face.

"You bet!" He beamed just as wide.

--------------------------------------------------

"JAUNE!" Nora screamed as she watched her leader get slammed into the brick wall. The mission had gone from bad to worse, but she couldn't leave him! Even as she was being dragged away by more senior huntsmen, she couldn't stand by and watch as the blood smeared on the wall grew bigger. "LET ME GO! LET ME GO!"

"Will you shut the hell up?!" One man cried out. "He's as good as dead, but at least let his corpse buy you enough time to get away!" She swung at him, but the only thing that got thrown off was her balance and she was pulled in. "We've got her! Go! Go! Go!"

Nora agonizingly wept as the doors shut, and her horrible screams were replaced with the roar of cowardly bullhead engines. Jaune's team escaped, and that was not good enough for him. Dying at the claws of this bastard Hound was almost enough to make him smile, if he had any human strength left to move. It dug its filthy talon into his chest, trying to sever his armor from his body.

"Bad." Growled the monstrous Hound. "Must. Get. Bad."

A baneful Nevermore perched atop a shitty building's corner, watching as it's evil ash-skinned master's pet tried to pry him open.

Jaune felt a sorrow as the traitorous bullhead carried his team away, and finally the tears began to flow. Hot tears began to pour from his eyes, mixing with the blood spilling from his stupid dying body. How dare this beast make him bleed? How dare this filthy, disgusting, putrid monster single him out and force him to be so weak?! Jaune's breathing began to increase as something inside him snapped.

And snap, it did. The armor that he wore into battle snapped around his broken arm, forcing his hand to grab hold of the Hounds' arm. Then another snap came, making it scream in agony and forcing it to drop Jaune to the ground. But before he touched the dirt, the greaves of his armor snapped his legs to keep him standing. Blood began to spill from the armor.

"Kill..." Jaune groaned as blood filled his mouth.

"Kill!" The Hound barked at him. More Grimm began to gather from the distance.

"KILL... YOU..." The helmet snapped shut over his face and a new monster, one worse than any Grimm ever seen before, was born into Remnant. "KILL... YOU... ALL!"

[frankenwolf1564]

DNA Design DK-54 Legacy United Animated Powermaster Optimus Prime: Well worth the wait

I finally got the DNA Design Legacy United Animated Optimus Prime upgrade kit in hand, and I wanna talk about it a bit y’know? These are more some rough, loose thoughts on the set itself, rather than a full review of it and the figure it’s for.

First off, this is. So damn satisfying. Powermaster Optimus Prime is already one of my favorite things in Transformers… ever? So having any kind of physical representation of the Animated take on the concept is really gratifying, even if it isn’t all the bells and whistles. It looks absolutely gorgeous. The color matching is really on point, though not quite one-to-one. This is my first experience with DNA, as I’m sure is the case for many others, and it’s a solid first impression, with everything made from some high-quality plastic, though there is maybe a touch too much extra weight. Optimus has trouble holding more dynamic poses with the armor on, and I found myself needing to tighten his knees and shoulders just so he could bear the weight outside of standing straight up. Yet at the same time a few parts feel a bit thin? Mostly the wing pack. I don’t like pegging the hammer into the wings for truck mode because they don’t have the little bit of give they need. It’s a similar story for storing the gloves, there’s not really room to do it the way DNA wants you to do it, though it's not a cause for concern, unlike the wings.

The full truck mode is glorious, and, again, very gratifying. The only toy of Optimus’ full fire truck mode released in the Animated toyline was… a transforming NERF blaster. That’s it. So having it as an actual Transformer is well overdue. Good luck getting it to sit flat though. I could not get all the wheels on the ground, but I might’ve been doing something wrong idk- The “trailer” doesn’t connect very securely, either. It’s not going anywhere just rolling it around, but Optimus isn’t pegged in all that tightly. The set doesn’t make use of the unique square tabs on Optimus’ feet. You know, the ones that were almost certainly included specifically for a potential Powermaster upgrade. This doesn’t really matter for robot mode, but the trailer could have probably used them alongside the 5 mm pegs so that you can, I don’t know, pick it up?

Any minor gripes aside, I absolutely adore this thing. It looks phenomenal and… is going to be a centerpiece display. I don’t currently have room on my shelves for the full wingspan. He’s a big boy…

[unofskylanderspages]

I'm interested if there is any Sproket lore , she's one of my favorites :]

of course! there's a little bit :3

like all goldlings (apparently; we have to take their word for it since they're never mentioned or seen in canon besides her bio), sprocket was raised in an incredibly wealthy family, but she honestly couldn't care less. rather, she was more a tinkerer, seemingly much like her uncle. we don't know much about him, but he and his niece seemed to be very similar in their preference for technology over wealth, as he had a workshop full of various mechanical inventions. it was here where sprocket spent almost all of her pre-skylander time, working possibly alongside her uncle or perhaps self-guided in learning about making and fixing his creations. it's likely that the two were the odd-ones-out in their family for this and thus were very close even beyond their mechanical skills.

it's also likely that mechanical intellect was what prompted Kaos to kidnap him. it's unclear how long it took her to figure out that there was foul play in his disappearance, but given that she not only figured that out but seemingly immediately identified Kaos's hand in it, it likely didn't take sprocket long to figure it out. she hand-crafted her battle suit solely for the purpose of bringing her uncle home, forsaking all of the luxury and comforts of her family's wealth behind for his sake. unfortunately, her uncle meets the same fate as every major influential character in a skylander's backstory: she has yet to find him and there's no other canon mention of him again.

she also appears in the Terrafin Battles the Boom Brothers story, but unfortunately that part of her wiki is incomplete and i haven't read any of the novels myself, sorry :(

also unfortunately, that's just about as much canon backstory/lore we have on her so far (barring her skylanders academy appearance but that's technically a separate continuity anyways), but since we're here, we can talk out my favorite little technically non-lore-related facts of hers!

her turrets will attempt to automatically fire at the oracle if you set them up in his hub

she had two different placeholder names in the alpha version of giants: "engineer" and "spark"

she was pretty much an entirely different character in the alpha altogether: she was an elf and thus looked pretty much like stealth elf and had more of an iron man-like color palette for her battle armor, her catchphrase was originally "fear the gear!" and a good majority of her upgrades had different names or were shuffled around compared to their final lineup

she was the first female tech skylander in the series, followed only by gearshift

she's defo hella underrated. i'm attempting to stay as strict to canon info as possible and thus poorly hiding every headcanon/personal interpretation of canon behind every "likely" and it's possible" lmao but oh well. which is kind of lame because she doesn't really have much beyond her backstory which is sad :( she's just unfortunately one of those skylanders who's part of a one-off out-of-canon culture that's never touched again in the main series, but i guess filling in the gaps is half the fun. i think so, anyway.

anyway anon i hope this was good for you! i love seeing everyone's personal favorites, like that whole "every pokemon is someone's favorite" thing it just makes me happy to see which blorbos just make someone happy :)

[rosymourning]

my headcanons for gear that "belongs" on companions:

Lae'zel would be geeking about the cool githyanki loot we get, and she'd refuse to wear anything else, no matter how much "better" it would be for her build

Shadowheart would be really hype about the dark justiciar bits and bobs we pick up at the grymforge and the gauntlet, but then would refuse to wear any of it if you spare nightsong and respecc. then, she'd start dying things fun colors and get a matching set thing going on

Astarion thinks the drow armor is really cool looking (and so do i) and he feels so sneaky and cool while wearing it, so he always does. it's confusing to the rest of the camp at first, but eventually they get used to it and start assuming he wants that hooded drow headgear they just found. he puts all his "normal" fashionable self into his camp clothes

Karlach never wore armor in the hells and she's sure as shit not going to start now, so it takes a lot of convincing from Tav/Durge to get her to even put on a magic amulet or use an upgraded weapon. once she finally does, she thinks it's the coolest thing ever to have a magical item and then starts hoarding anything another companion isn't actively wearing

Wyll is the opposite of Karlach - he's always excited to try out a magical item and brainstorm how it can improve his skills in combat. out of all the companions, he cares the least about how it looks

Gale is hungry, beyond that, idk